The Georgia Voice - 1/3/14, Vol. 4 Issue 22

TRAINING Fitness experts give helpful, DAY healthytipsfortheNewYear Page 12

Photo by Tina Tian

Size matters?

LGBTQ Atlantans discuss body images. Page 6

Moral Mondays Social justice movement comes to Ga. Page 9

Fit food Plenty of healthy eating when dining out. Page 20

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IN THIS ISSUE OF GA VOICE

Courtesy photo

FEATURED STORY

ON THE COVER

12 | ASK A TRAINER (OR FIVE) 6 | EXPLORING BODY IMAGE

Personal trainer Eric Pyne works with TIm Conley at Atlanta’s gay-friendly gym Urban Body Fitness.

(Cover photo by Tina Tian)

OUTSPOKEN FRIENDS & FOES IN THEIR OWN WORDS

via Facebook

“I am grateful for my entire family, my long time girlfriend, Amber, and friends as we prepare to celebrate a glorious new year together. I am grateful for the many prayers and well wishes for my recovery. . . Wishing you a Healthy and Happy New Year.”

— “Duck Dynasty” patriarch Phil Robertston in a 2009 sermon to a Sportsmen’s Ministry retreat in Georgia. (Towleroad.com, Dec. 29)

via HRC

Publicity photo

6 | DOES SIZE MATTER? Body image in LGBTQ Atlanta.

8 | NEWS IN BRIEF: Gay Olympic skater donates papers to Emory; ZAMI NOBLA relaunches Audre Lorde Scholarship Fund; Man sentenced in killings of Black Gay Pride attendees.

9 | MORAL MONDAY movement comes to Ga. capital.

10 | HEALTH CARE: LGBT activists urging Gov. Deal to expand Medicaid.

15 | PRIDE MEDICAL, FENUXE mixed up in ongoing litigation.

HEALTH & FITNESS 12 | ATLANTA TRAINERS will work out your holiday blues.

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT 18 | THEATER: Topher Payne shines light on ‘Reno.’

20 | FOOD: Where to eat healthy in the New Year.

25 | BOOKS: Exposing 20 LGBT myths.

22-24 | CALENDAR

COLUMNISTS 26 | THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: Melissa Carter sets realistic resolutions.

27 | SOMETIMES ‘Y’: Ryan Lee is checking IDs at the dating door.

—Brian Brown of NOM, in an end-ofthe-year fundraising appeal, acknowledging marriage equality “momentum”

“It’s not really a reversal [to reinstate Phil Robertson]. We think it’s actually a positive outcome, and we want to thank A&E for their attentiveness . . .

—— “Good Morning America” anchor Robin Roberts thanking her family and girlfriend, Amber Laign, for their support during her battle with cancer. (Facebook, Dec. 29)

“Look, you wait ‘til they get to be 20 years-old and the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket. You got to marry these girls when they’re about 15 or 16 and they’ll pick your ducks.”

“New assaults seem to be popping up every month — like the recent one from the Obamaappointed judge in Utah . . . The good news is that 2014 promises to be a year full of opportunity for the marriage movement to regain ground and seize back the momentum!”

NEWS

— HRC Vice President Fred Hainz responding to A&E lifting Robertson’s suspension from “Duck Dynasty.”

(CNN, Dec. 28)

“Overall it represents stupidity on @HRC part.

Community is united, livid re: #DuckDynasty.

Why would you publicly say this? Very dumb.”

— LGBT activist and Sirius XM radio host Mike Signorile (Twitter, Dec. 29)

Official photo

“@RobinRoberts, I am so happy for you and Amber! You continue to make us all proud. -mo” — First Lady Michelle Obama tweeting her congratulations to Good Morning America anchor Robin Roberts who came out publically for the first time in a Tweet expressing thankfulness for, among other things, her girlfreind of 10 years, Amber Laign. (Twitter, Dec. 30)

size matters 6 | GA VOICE

NEWS

01-03-14

www.theGAVoice.com

?

LGBTQ Atlantans discuss their love and struggle with body images

By PATRICK SAUNDERS Gay people have had issues with keeping up appearances since the first sham marriage.

Thankfully, as time has gone on and society has changed, there has been a higher and higher level of LGBTQ acceptance and fewer of us are having to hide our true identities.

But for all the chatter we have about celebrating differences, we’re producing some seriously warped ideas of what the “average” body looks like. The ideal is getting farther and farther away from reality, and studies have shown our rates of body dissatisfaction — especially among gay men — are consistently high.

The GA Voice decided to ask a cross-section of members of Atlanta’s LGBTQ communities to open up about their bodies. Do they like what they see in the mirror? What do they do to feel better about their bodies? How has being LGBTQ affected their body image? What advice would they give someone struggling with body image issues?

We received a variety of answers, and we hope it gives you a variety of things to think about in this new year.

The overall advice from those interviewed?

You do you.

‘WHEN YOUR PRIMARY SOCIAL OUTLET IS THE BARS, IT’S NOT THE MOST AFFIRMING THING’ Jason Cecil considers himself average but overweight. “I’m kind of built like a linebacker and I tend to get classified within the bear community, although I don’t think I’m particularly hairy enough for that,” he says.

While he says he would like to lose a little more weight, he’s happy with his body. “I have a musculature that responds very well to regular exercise, which is very helpful.”

He wasn’t always happy with his body

Hanne Blank (Courtesy photo)

says. “The Bucks trained us and taught us how to stretch, how to build up endurance. You learn to relate to your body physically — that was a big turnaround point for me.”

‘I WAS ALWAYS UNCOMFORTABLE WITHIN MY OWN SKIN’

Jason Cecil (Courtesy photo)

Vandy Beth Glenn (File photo)

though.

“In my late 20s and early 30s, I thought that my lack of a love life was very much surrounding my body image and my body weight,” he says. “When your primary social outlet is the bars, it’s not always the most affirming thing.”

Cecil compares the pressure on gay men to look fit to the same pressure women face in the straight community. And the affinity for gay men to show skin in public doesn’t help either.

“I would no more throw on a Speedo, even for charity, and run down the street in public than set myself on fire,” he says. “It would never occur to me to just randomly walk down the street

shirtless. I don’t have a gym-perfect body and that’s what’s expected if you’re going to flaunt it, especially in Atlanta. Everyone is so well-sculpted physically, and if you’re not that way it can be difficult to maintain a sense of confidence.”

He credits getting older and “good old fashioned therapy” for becoming more comfortable with his body.

And it was joining gay rugby team the Atlanta Bucks that jump-started his interest in being physically healthy.

“I came into it not having much athletic ability or experience outside of P.E. classes,” he

It got better for Vandy Beth Glenn. The transgender activist faced a dilemma before she transitioned.

“My body has never conformed to conventional female standards of beauty closely enough to suit me, and before I transitioned, when I was trying to ‘pass’ as male, I didn’t meet those standards, either,” she says.

Apart from watching her weight, she didn’t know what to do with herself.

“I didn’t want to pump iron because I didn’t want to develop masculine musculature. I didn’t do anything that might feminize my appearance because I had deeply suppressed my gender dysphoria. I was always uncomfortable within my own skin,” she says.

Then she transitioned. She says it’s been much easier because she only has to deal with one gender’s standards of beauty.

She admits she’s not always happy with her body. “My belly isn’t flat enough. My posterior isn’t firm enough. I have too many freckles. My

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NEWS

of evidence that people with “perfect bodies” have perfect lives.

“My body image is good — I have a good relationship with my body,” Blank says. “Like ev‘LOVE YOURSELF erybody, I’ve had my FOR WHO moments where I YOU ARE’ thought I would Jeff Goelz is on the love it if this was shorter side at 5-feet different or that 5-inches and considwas different. But ers himself stocky what I find is that but muscular. when people are “The muscular upset, the easipart is genetics. I’m est thing in the kind of a blueprint room to kick is of my mother and yourself. It took father,” he says. “It’s me a long time kind of like that good to get to a point German stock.” where I would not Goelz is one of the kick myself and few out there who has not blame it on my always had a healthy, body,” she says. positive opinion about There is no his body. For him, it wrong way to have a comes down to a mindset. body, Blank adds.

“I had some weight on “Without your Taylor Alexander (Courtesy photo) me growing up and I was body, you can’t be here. picked on, but that didn’t deWhatever form your body feat me. After graduating from takes, that is kind of fabucollege, I was dating a woman, we lous. There’s no wrong way to were potentially going to get married, do this. It’s OK to be in the body and I wasn’t particularly happy with where I you’re in. You are right here and right was in life,” he says. now and this is the body you have to negotiate He decided to do something about it. the world — and you’ll do a better job of ne“I told myself I could do something construc- gotiating the world if you’re not trying to beat tive or destructive. So I took up swimming, I yourself up,” she says. joined a gym, then the following year I picked up running and did my first triathlon,” he contin- ‘WORK IT TO THE NTH DEGREE’ ues. That was over 20 years ago and he hasn’t Taylor Alexander identifies as trans and looked back. queer and uses pronouns “they” and “their” rathStill, the emphasis in the gay community on er than “he” or “she.” Moving from a small town appearances isn’t lost on him. to the big city of Atlanta meant taking a closer “That’s an external expression of our internal look at body image, Alexander says. beings,” he says. “So many people want to fit in “Being black and Native American and trans and conform and I’m not like that. It’s not that and queer, I had to learn to love myself, because I don’t care, it’s that I’m happy with who I am.” nobody else will love me if I don’t love myself — Regardless, he says he admits to facing his that whole RuPaul thing,” Alexander says. “That own challenges just like anyone else. started the journey to me being more comfort“I’ve lost weight and gained weight,” he says. able in my own skin.”

“It’s a matter of persistence more than anything Alexander credits the growth of gay subelse, and to love yourself for who you are.” communities like bears and otters and others with helping people get more comfortable in ‘THIS IS THE BODY YOU HAVE their own skin. But Alexander says there’s still TO NEGOTIATE THE WORLD’ work to be done, especially in the media.

“Queer folks who face marginalization — Hanne Blank of Atlanta and author of “The Unapologetic Fat Girl’s Guide to Exercise” says trans folks, people of color, disabled folks, older she refuses to participate in a world where women — their bodies are still heavily not picpeople shame others — and make money off of tured or represented in queer media,” says Alexthem — for not having the quote-unquote per- ander. “It’s an issue that needs to be fixed if we are to believe fully in community.” fect body.

Alexander occasionally relies on a simple “I will not do not do their work for them. I know a lot of people who get a lot of power and practice to get in the right mindset about their make a lot money telling others that their bod- body.

“If I’m not happy, it translates to other peoies are terrible. I refuse to help them,” she says ple,” Alexander says. “So I have the practice of while taking a walk in North Decatur.

Blank says a lot of people believe that if they waking up every day and looking in the mirror could just change their bodies, then everything and realizing this is what I have to work with would be perfect. But, she adds, there’s not a lot and I have to work it to the nth degree.”

01.03.14

GA VOICE | 7

face has too many lines,” she says.

But with time and brave choices, she has learned to have some peace of mind with her body.

“So many people want to fit in and conform, and I’m not like that.

It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I’m happy with who I am.” -- JEFF GOELZ Jeff Goelz (Courtesy photo)

8 | GA VOICE

NEWSIN BRIEF

NEWS

01.03.14

Audre Lorde (via Atlanta Pride)

SCHOLARSHIP FUND FOR BLACK LESBIANS RELAUNCHED

lic policy and research, resource development and multi-generational building.”

All applications must be postmarked May 1, 2014, and mailed to ZAMI NOBLA, P.O. Box 90986, Atlanta, GA 30364. For more information, visit www.zami.org

ZAMI NOBLA, an Atlanta-based national orOLYMPIC SKATER, HUSBAND ganization for lesbians of African descent, is relaunching its Audre Lorde Scholarship Fund after DONATE PAPERS TO EMORY a five-year hiatus.

American figure skater and two-time OlymFrom 1995 to 2008, ZAMI administered the in- pian Johnny Weir-Voronov and his husband ternational scholarship fund and awarded more Victor Weir-Voronov, an Emory graduate, have than $200,000 in scholarships and expenses to signed on to donating their papers to the LGBT out LGBT students of color. collection at Emory’s Manuscript, Archives, and Since 2008, ZAMI has transformed itself to Rare Book Collection (MARBL), according to a ZAMI NOBLA and changed its mission to focus press release from Emory University. on providing resources for aging black lesbians.

“I’m so honored and excited to have my The new Audre Lorde Scholarship Fund will be things preserved and not just sit in my closet, open to black lesbians age 40 and older living get passed down to my children’s children anywhere in the U.S. and eventually get thrown away once I’m long “The opportunity to financially assist older gone,” Johnny said in a black lesbians attendprepared statement. ing institutions of higher Added Victor, “The learning is a responsibiltimes are changing very ity that belongs to us all, quickly, and the moveand one that ZAMI NOBLA ment is happening right is willing to spearhead,” now. Thirty years from said Mary Anne Adams, now, people are going to founder of the scholarship look back and say, ‘I can’t fund, in a prepared statebelieve these people were ment. oppressed and didn’t “Black lesbians in have equal rights.’ ” this country and in this Johnny Weir-Voronov and husband Victor WeirRandy Gue, curator economy, especially those Voronov. (Photo courtesy Emory University) of MARBL’s LGBT collecsitting at the fence line tion, said the collection of race, gender, age and “provides a fascinating sexual orientation often need the educational perspective on marriage equality.” benefits that can open many doors. It is my hope “Victor and Johnny are a high-profile, LGBT that many of the LGBT students of all ages who married couple on a global scale,” Gue said in benefitted from the original Audre Lorde Schol- a statement. “It broadens our collection in a arship Fund will be first in line to support their number of ways in a much larger sense, with a elders,” she said. global perspective. It’s not that easy to find colScholarships will be awarded to those dem- lections that have that kind of reach.” onstrating leadership and making significant From the release: “The collection documents contributions to the LGBT and/or aging commu- Johnny Weir-Voronov’s athletic career and nities, Adams said. The scholarship amount is achievements, Johnny and Victor’s professional $1,000 and other amounts as needed. Contribu- and public lives, and the couple’s relationship. tions to the fund are being accepted by all indi- It also contains an array of correspondence, viduals and organizations interested and there artwork, photographs, scrapbooks and other are also opportunities for named scholarships materials Johnny’s fans have sent him.” available.

Victor graduated from Emory in 2005 with “ZAMI NOBLA wants to support and encour- a degree in political science and got his law deage their continuing education by providing gree from Georgetown University in 2008. He is scholarships to those women enrolled in ac- an attorney in New York where he is transitioncredited technical, undergraduate and graduate ing from corporate law to entertainment law. programs,” she said.

The Weir-Voronovs join Atlanta lawmakers ZAMI NOBLA is a “national organization of state Rep. Karla Drenner, Atlanta City Councilblack lesbians on aging promoting healthy ag- member Alex Wan, former Doraville City Couning through a social justice and human rights cilmember Brian Bates and longtime LGBT acframework. It strives for social/economic/health tivist Ken Britt who also recently donated their equity access through education, advocacy, pub- papers to Emory University.

01.03.14 www.theGAVoice.com

MAN SENTENCED IN KILLING OF BLACK GAY PRIDE ATTENDEES Derrick Burden, 24, was sentenced to two life terms for the murders of two young men in 2010 who had attended Atlanta’s Black Gay Pride that year.

Burden was sentenced in Fulton County Superior Court on Dec. 13 for the killings of Samuel Blizzard, 21, a Georgia State University student from Spring Cove, Va.; and Calvin Streater, 26.

Burden was found guilty of two counts of murder, six counts of felony murder, aggravated assault, armed robbery and weapons offenses.

Streater and Blizzard were found shot to death Sept. 5, 2010, inside the Richmond Circle apartment in Southeast Atlanta that belonged to Blizzard’s cousin.

According to police, Streater was visiting Atlanta from North Carolina for Black Gay Pride, held every year over Labor Day weekend.

Burden met Streater earlier in the day and the two hung out for a few hours at the townhouse. Later that same day, Burden returned to rob and kill Streater and Blizzard, according to police.

During the trial, police evidence revealed that Burden forced Blizzard to his knees before shooting him in the back of the head. Burden then stole Blizzard’s laptop. Streater was shot and killed in a back bedroom.

The trial was presided over by Fulton Superior Court Judge Jackson Bedford.

A press release from the Fulton County District Attorney’s Office stated Streater’s body was discovered in a rear bedroom with a gunshot wound to the side of the head. He was resting before going out that night to celebrate Black Gay Pride.

Blizzard’s body was discovered in the front room slumped over the sofa. He was forced to kneel before being shot in the back of the head.

“Shortly after the murders, Defendant Burden was briefly detained by homeowners in a nearby subdivision who found him suspiciously lurking on their property. When police arrived, Burden fled the scene leaving behind a bag containing a laptop which police later determined was stolen from victim Samuel Blizzard.

The bag also contained a gun which was later determined to be the murder weapon. DNA from a cigarette butt at the murder scene also linked Burden to the crime. He was arrested following a positive identification in a photographic lineDerrick Dnorris Burden up,” according to the (via Fulton County Sheriff’s Fulton DA’s office.

Department)

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01.03.14

GA VOICE | 9

Moral Mondays coming to Ga. Capitol

F

First civil action against GOP-led legislature scheduled for Jan. 13

By PATRICK SAUNDERS Gov. Nathan Deal is going to have some visitors to the capital on Jan. 13, and they won’t be there to compare recipes.

The first Georgia-based event of the grassroots social justice movement Moral Mondays will occur, organized by the new group Moral Monday Georgia. The issue of the day will be the governor’s decision not to accept federal funds to expand Medicaid [see story on Page 10], and the schedule includes legislator visits, a workshop and a rally outside the capitol featuring numerous speakers.

Moral Mondays started in North Carolina in 2012 to protest controversial laws passed by their Republican governor and legislature. Typically it is a civil disobedience protest, marked by a mass entrance into the capitol where many are peacefully arrested. Thousands of people showed up on Mondays to disrupt the legislative session with more than 900 willing to be arrested as part of their civil disobedience.

The protests began in North Carolina in April and were held weekly to protest laws being passed by the Republican-controlled House and Senate. Organized by the NAACP and partner organizations, Moral Mondays opposed such laws as the state refusing to approve Medicaid expansion under the Affordable Care Act as well as rewriting the state’s voting laws to place new restrictions on voters. The legislature also overhauled the state tax structures. Gov. Pat McCrory, the first Republican governor in North Carolina in 20 years, signed all of these into law.

GEORGIANS INSPIRED BY NORTH CAROLINA’S MOVEMENT

Moral Monday Georgia describe themselves as “a multiracial, multi-issue coalition of citizens working for positive change for the public good.”

“Georgia has gone hard right at a time when income equality is at its height, unemployment is high, we have the creation of an economy designed to provide low paying, dead-end jobs, and we need an effort to respond to that,” said State Sen. Vincent Fort (D-Atlanta), who will be speaking at the rally. “Moral Mondays is exactly that kind of effort.”

Speakers in addition to Fort will include Rev. Timothy McDonald III from First Iconium Baptist Church, Georgia NAACP President Francis Johnson, North Carolina NAACP President Rev. William Barber, and Georgians directly affected by lack of access to Medicaid. Barber started the Moral Monday movement in North Carolina.

The arrival of Moral Mondays has local activists like Tim Franzen excited. Franzen, from

Hundreds of people gathered at the North Carolina Legislative Building this summer to protest anti-women legislation as part of the Moral Mondays movement. On Jan. 13, Georgia will hold its first Moral Monday action at the Georgia State Capitol. (Photo by Anca Stefan)

MORE INFO

www.moralmondayga.org

Moral Mondays GA Fight for Medicaid Expansion Jan. 13 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. — talk to your representatives inside the capitol building 2-3:30 p.m. — Worship with Rev. Wiliam Barber, founder of North Carolina’s Moral Mondays, at Central Presbyterian Church 4-6 p.m. — Rally at the Georgia Capitol

the Quaker social justice organization American Friends Service Committee as well as Occupy Atlanta and Occupy Homes, has been following the North Carolina movement.

“We’ve been really inspired and it’s like nothing we’ve seen since the civil rights movement,” he told GA Voice. “It has forced people in North Carolina and all over the country to look at state budgets not as a random shopping list but as a list of our moral priorities.”

Gov. Deal’s decision not to accept federal

funds for the Medicaid expansion is one such moral priority in the minds of the organizers and speakers.

“It is despicable for the government not to provide health care to Georgia,” Fort told GA Voice. “LGBT people in particular need this expansion for the treatment of HIV/AIDS. It is as bankrupt a public policy as I’ve seen in my time in politics.”

SETTING TONE FOR FUTURE ACTION

Franzen is equally incredulous.

“It’s the ultimate insult to hardworking people, to struggling folks who are working their butts off at a fast food joint or Wal-Mart, and here’s an opportunity where they can get free healthcare,” he said. “We’re talking about real lives here, real beating hearts that are going to die because of ideological stubbornness. We find it unacceptable, both morally and fiscally.”

While the North Carolina version of Moral Mondays has included peaceful arrests for civil disobedience, don’t expect the police vans to line up on Washington Street just yet. Organizers say

the Jan. 13 event is more about setting the tone for future actions.

But, Franzen said, “We hope the governor will come to his senses and do what is morally right, and if not then people might fill up the jail.”

He said to expect more Moral Monday events addressing issues affecting the LGBT community in the future, depending on what bills are introduced in the upcoming general assembly session.

“That’s one of the exciting things about the movement — it has this air of being rooted in religious values and the LGBT community is not only not left out, but they are a part of it. We’re all together, walking side by side. What we’ll be looking at this legislative session is connecting out actions to specific policy,” Franzen said.

“We’ll be looking for public policy that is problematic. We’re seeing bills that are going to drop, but as the session goes, there will be some that drop without any notice. We have brothers and sisters from all walks of life in our planning meetings. Everyone is welcome there. If there is something that really attacks the LGBT community, then we’re going to be there,” he added.

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01.03.14

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Study: Ga. Medicaid expansion would save lives, be economic boon LGBT activists blame Gov. Deal’s fear of Tea Party for not accepting federal healthcare plan

By PATRICK SAUNDERS With the Healthcare.gov website running smoothly, December enrollment figures soaring to more than 2 million Americans nationally and coverage having started on Jan. 1, attention is turning locally to Gov. Nathan Deal’s decision not to accept federal funds that would expand Medicaid for lower-income Georgia residents.

The expansion is projected to save 3,700 lives and create a historic economic expansion throughout the state, according to a recent study. And several organizations are turning up the heat on the governor in advance of his 2014 re-election campaign.

The Medicaid expansion is an optional provision of the Affordable Care Act that provides coverage to those individuals between the ages of 19 and 65 with incomes up to 138 percent of the federal poverty level. For single people, that is $15,800 a year. It goes up about $5,500 per person in the household from there.The federal government would pay 100 percent of the costs of the expansion in 2014, 2015 and 2016, then taper down to cover no less than 90 percent of the costs to the state thereafter.

The decision not to accept the funds for the Medicaid expansion hits the LGBT community hard, especially those living with HIV. The majority of people living with HIV would fall into the income levels that would benefit from the expansion, Georgia Equality executive director Jeff Graham told GA Voice. And the effect on young LBGTs turned away by their parents is also significant, especially if parents drop them from the plans that would otherwise cover them until age 26.

“Statistics show that up to 40 percent of young people that come out lose financial support from their parents, so they’re on their own and wouldn’t be able to benefit from the part of the law that expands coverage to those until they’re 26,” Graham said.

Gov. Deal has claimed his opposition to the expansion is based on his concern about the federal government coming through on the promise to fund at least 90 percent of the cost, but there are provisions already in place in case that happens.

“That’s just speculation on his part,” State Sen. Vincent Fort (D-Atlanta) told GA Voice. “Anytime that he would want, he can withdraw from

One o Refus

pansi down “E Medi you c the to St on w on po Ga. Gov. Nathan Deal is refusing to expand Medicaid gia re “T despite a study that shows nearly 3,700 lives would is so be saved and the state would gain some $8.2 billion — tha in economic benefits. (Official photo) expan “It the program [if funding falls below 90 per-to die cent].” Fort will be speaking at a Jan. 13 rally Un at the state capital organized by the grassrootsthe s group Moral Mondays. not t Deal also cites economic concerns, sayingfrom that it will be too costly for the state. But ahe do study by the director of Georgia State Univer-could sity’s Center for Health Services Research, Dr.sion Bill Custer, shows the exact opposite findings. woul Dr. Custer’s research shows that if Gov. DealRepu would accept the expansion, nearly 3,700 livesharde would be saved in the next year and 650,000gover lower income residents would be covered. Re There are also significant economic benefitsunan according to the findings, including $8.2 bil-Georg lion in economic activity, $276 million in stategens. and local tax revenue, 38,000 new jobs in the “T healthcare industry and an additional 30,000icaid, new jobs created in other industries. work Graham was quick to highlight the sourceand m of the study at a recent town hall forum on thesaid.

Affordable Care Act. “This is not bleeding heart liberals coming up with this,” Graham said. “[Dr. Custer] wasMOR one of the chief sources this governor turnedCAR to for health economic models, so it’s basically Lo the governor’s own folks telling him this is go-effort Deal ing to happen.”

Graham said the expansion would be aexpan “huge economic boon to the state of Georgia” M and would be the largest jobs expansion pro-in No gram in state history, all paid for by the fed-gover on vo eral government. more ‘IT’S A POLITICAL DECISION, AND outsi build PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE’ Th This has led many who are pro-Medicaid ex- is occ

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n One of the key provisions of President Barak Obama’s Afordable Care Act is the expansion of Medicare.

Refusing that expansion has become an article of faith among many Tea Party supporters. (Official photo)

pansion to question why Gov. Deal would turn it down, and most come to the same consensus.

“Every state that has decided not to expand Medicaid has a Republican governor, so I think you can connect the dots there,” Graham said at the town hall.

State Sen. Fort echoes Graham’s sentiments on whether the governor is basing his decision on politics at the expense of lower income Geordicaid gia residents.

“The bottom line is, the Deal administration ould is so terrified of the right wing — the Tea Party llion — that they have chosen not to accept Medicaid expansion,” Sen. Fort told GA Voice.

“It’s a political decision, and people are going to die because of it,” he continued.

Unlike in many other states, Gov. Deal has the sole authority in the decision whether or not to expand Medicaid. So there is concern from pro-Medicaid expansion groups that if he doesn’t act soon, the Georgia legislature could pass legislation in the upcoming session that would strip him of that ability. It would then have to go through the heavilyRepublican legislature, therefore creating a harder fight than just having to convince the governor.

Requests for comment on the issue went unanswered by the offices of both Gov. Deal and Georgia Insurance Commissioner Ralph Hudgens.

“The governor, by refusing to expand Medicaid, is doing nothing other than hurting poor working class people here in the state of Georgia and making our economy even worse,” Graham said.

MORAL MONDAY RALLY, POSTCARD DRIVE HIGHLIGHT EFFORTS

Local groups aren’t backing down in their efforts to generate support for convincing Gov. Deal to accept the federal funds for Medicaid expansion.

Moral Mondays is a project that started in North Carolina to protest the Republican governor and legislature and their decisions on voting rights, cuts to social programs and more. At the events, attendees typically rally outside the state capital and then enter the building, with many being peacefully arrested.

The first Moral Mondays event in Georgia is occurring Jan. 13 at the capital, with plans

for a rally protesting Gov. Deal’s decision [see story on Page 9].

Georgia Equality, in collaboration with the Cover Georgia Coalition, is also in the middle of a drive to collect postcards and signed petitions from Georgia residents who support Medicaid expansion. They plan on having an event sometime in early February where they will deliver the postcards and petitions to Gov. Deal’s office. They hope to have at least 10,000 postcards in hand.

Local organizations also continue their efforts to educate the LGBT community on the benefits of the Affordable Care Act and how to obtain them.

The Health Initiative and Georgia Equality have hired health insurance “navigators” who are available to help people choose which plan is right for them, with particular attention paid to issues of importance to the LGBT community, such as HIV/AIDS. Positive Impact is also training two current staff members to act as navigators as well.

The Ryan White Program offers help to those with HIV who don’t have the financial means for sufficient care, but there is concern from organizations like Positive Impact and Georgia Equality that the role of the program will change this year, since it is designed for uninsured people.

In pushing the community to sign up for the Affordable Care Act, Graham cites the success of the similar health care law that’s been in place in Massachusetts since 2006, especially as it relates to those living with HIV. In Massachusetts, almost 100 percent of people living with HIV have medical care, almost 95 percent of those living with HIV are taking their medication, and about 75 percent of those living with HIV have achieved viral suppression, he says. Some characteristics of achieving viral suppression are when the virus isn’t replicating itself as quickly, the chances of transmission are lowered and the ability to live a healthier life is obtained.

Those percentages get cut in more than half when compared to those living with HIV nationally. “[The Affordable Care Act] is a game-changer for the HIV community,” Graham said at the town hall. “But this is not just about HIV. It’s going to be dramatically better for everyone.”

01.03.14

GA VOICE | 11

5

Ask

12 | GA VOICE

01.03.14

trainers HEALTH & FITNESS

By MIKE RITTER

Eggnog. It’s why -- both calorically and metaphorically -- the gyms are packed every January.

Even if you don’t indulge, surely no single word so completely captures the excess of the holiday season as the word “eggnog.” It brings together the Three Pillars of the Yuletide binge: sugar, fat and booze, with the minimum of physical exertion. Even rum cake requires the effort to chew. Feh! Not that the holidays have a seasonal monopoly on our excesses and lethargy. But come January, they can certainly bring them into focus. Eggnog guilt, unlike eggnog itself, can be very motivating.

GA Voice reached out to five LGBT certified trainers from Urban Body Fitness, which has been a popular gym with Atlanta’s gay (and straight) communities for over a decade. We asked our trainers, Eric Pyne, Dylan Bolen, Nicole Gourdet, Guyton Maurice and Stephen Smith, to answer a set of five questions from which the responses below are drawn.

1

New Years resolutions and holiday food guilt always bring a surge of people into the gym in January. When starting with a new client, what are the signs of a person who is likely to achieve their goals ... or not?

I do encourage people to love their bodies regardless of what they look like. Self-love is necessary forrespecting our bodies and for making improvements that lead to living well.

-- NICOLE GOURDET Trainer Nicole Gourdet trains her client Brandi Szen at Urban Body Fitness. (Photo by Tina Tian)

MORE INFO

www.urbanbodyfitness.com

Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Avenue Atlanta, GA 30306 404·885·1499 Eric Pyne Certified Personal Trainer pyne4@yahoo.com Dylan Bolen ACE Certified Trainer dylancbolen@gmail.com

Nicole Gourdet Certified Personal Trainer Nicolemgourdet@gmail.com Guyton Maurice Certified Personal Trainer www.HarmonyFitness.com Stephen Smith VIVA Fitness, owner 404-213-5362 stephenpaulsmith@mac.com

For full interviews & photos, visit us at:

www. thegavoice .com

www.theGAVoice.com

GUYTON MAURICE: I’ve been very fortunate to have very committed clients, but I’ve had a few “flings,” meaning short-term clients. I can usually tell by the second week whether or not they are going to stick to it.

In those cases, it usually starts off with a bang of excitement, thrilled that they have finally made it off their sofa and into the gym . . . And then they begin to realize that this isn’t a quick fix.

In today’s culture of immediate gratification, people are genuinely shocked that this is truly a lifestyle change. It’s a change in schedule (you have to show up, first!) and a change in your eating, which requires effort away from the gym. All day. Every day. . .

A person who is going to stick to it, comes in with a realistic notion that they are there to work, they embrace it.

minded to your suggestions, and a person who knows they need help and are willing to listen to and follow your advice!

2

People often have wildly different ideas of what constitutes healthy nutrition, effective exercise, or reasonable goals. What are some common myths that people bring to the gym -- or the kitchen -- that sabotage their fitness goals?

ERIC PYNE: Common myths that lead to failure are, nutritionally speaking, [saying] there’s no difference between a glass of wine or a bottle of wine, or even drinking every day of the week. A big part is portion control . . .

As far as the workouts go, I believe intensity plays a big role in the gym. Working with or without the trainer, it is a myth to think that doing six-to-eight exercises in two hours is the same as getting the workout done in 45 minutes.

NICOLE GOURDET: A common myth that people bring to the gym is that they’ll lose weight as long as they do “something” however small or ineffective. For example, they’ll take three classes a week, skip the weights, glide past the treadmill and think the classes will take care of everything.

STEPHEN SMITH: Many times you can tell right off who will stick with training. Sometimes, the person you least expect is the one who works the hardest and continues training for an extended period of time.

Usually the person that comes across as overly zealous tends to fade away into their old unhealthy habits, as well as a person who brings in an unrealistic picture of what they want to look like . . . as well as a person training because someone else wants them to lose weight.

Individuals that stay motivated and adhere to their fitness goals are the ones you see regularly in the gym outside of their training sessions, a person who is open-

Photos

by Tian (www.tinatianphotography.com) & Adam Carpenter (http://cargocollective.com/acarpenterimagery/about-1) Photos

by Tina

Dylan Bolen, a trainer at UBF, practices lunges with an obliquie twist carrying a 25 pound. plate. (Photo by Adam Carpenter)

HEALTH & FITNESS

www.theGAVoice.com

Choosing a healthy lifestlye involves movement, motivation, moderation, and healthy eating!

-- STEPHEN SMITH

Above, Stephen Smith, a personal traine for 17 years and owner of VIVA fitness, works out at Urban Body FItness.

(Photo by Adam Carpenter)

DYLAN BOLEN: The most common myth people believe is that eating little calories and cranking up the cardio will help them lose weight when in reality it is messing up their metabolism causing their body to store every calorie intake.

3

NICOLE GOURDET: It definitely is possible for someone to be curvy or not have six-pack abs but still be fit and healthy. I do encourage people to love their bodies regardless of what they look like. Self-love is necessary for respecting our bodies and for making improvements that lead to all aspects of living well. We all undergo physical changes throughout our lives.

It’s a journey we take as we grow. Practicing self-love under ALL circumstances allows us to appreciate the improvements that lead to our enhanced well being.

DYLAN BOLEN: The definition of fitness is not one of aesthetics. It’s not a six pack, biceps, or a large chest, it’s feeling comfortable in the body one has worked hard for. Fitness is a glow of confidence.

STEPHEN SMITH: I define fitness as a lifestyle, this is “a choice.” Stay motivated by working out with friends, going to fitness classes, or signing up for road races or activity runs. Do everything in moderation. Eat bread, have those sweets, and have that glass of wine, but remember these things should all be done in moderation. Finally, choose healthy options when it comes to eating. In doing so, not only will you quie feel and look better, but this is by far, the fastest r) route to achieving your weight loss goal!

GA VOICE | 13

and thought her abs would never look good again. She ate cake for breakfast - yes cake had low-self esteem, refused to wear jeans or shorts because she didn’t like how she looked in them. She refused to do cardio for more than 10 minutes and would constantly whine to me about my workouts being too hard.

It took a lot of creativity and patience to help her even begin to make the changes necessary. Slowly but surely, she started to get the results she wanted. She began eating according to my meal program, replacing cake with cardio. She began applying then pushing herself, replacing her baggy pants with shorts and even more revealing clothing. I was especially proud when she sent me a family vacation photo in which she posed confidently in a new bikini.

Her weight continued to drop consistently, and her energy level and self-esteem soared. A new haircut and make over encouraged her to keep the weight off, and a new set of eating and fitness rules has become so second nature to her now that she looks back and laughs at how stubborn and resistant she was in the beginning.

GUYTON MAURICE: Well, I used to have a herniated disc and walk with a cane. The recovery road is what eventually led me to this point of helping other people. However, it is a current client who really inspires me.

He came to me overweight and on high blood pressure, high cholesterol and low testosterone meds. He was borderline diabetic and a former smoker. He was determined and fearless of the work, but extremely uncomfortable about being in a gym, let alone working out. In a relatively short, but healthy, time, he has now lost nearly 60 pounds, and his doctor has taken him, one by one, OFF ALL OF HIS MEDS! I am SO proud of him, and he looks amazing. But more importantly, he FEELS amazing!

How do you define fitness? Is it possible for someone to be curvy or not have six-pack abs but still be fit and healthy? Do you work with people to love their bodies regardless of what it looks like?

GUYTON MAURICE: Being fit is being healthy The true answer lies within the reality of your own body. I have seen people transform their bodies, and thus their lives, in extraordinary ways and in subtle ways, but the key word here is change because even the slightest positive change, can have the most spectacular effects!

01.03.14

Above, personal trainer Guyton Muarice exerciises with a kettlebell weight. At right, Eric Pyne trains his client Tim Conley. (Photos by Tina Tian)

4

What’s one simple thing most people can do physically or nutritionally, regardless of their age or fitness level, that would have a surprisingly significant impact on their fitness?

DYLAN BOLEN: Drinking water is the most important thing anyone can do. Our bodies are made up of up to 60% water, this is where your energy comes from, it speeds up your metabolism and replenishes your body.

ERIC PYNE: The easy solution is meal preparation. Preparing your meals for three days or a week in advance will help out in so many ways to achieve your fitness goals.

STEPHEN SMITH: MOVE, eat breakfast , and drink plenty of water!

NICOLE GOURDET: Use food as fuel. This has profound effects on aesthetics, energy levels, mental clarity, emotions, sleep, overall health.

The list goes on.

GUYTON MAURICE: Well, on paper it’s one simple thing, but in reality it’s not, and that is, to eliminate sugar & processed food.

5

Do you have a favorite success story, a client who surprised or inspired you, someone who overcame some obstacle or achieved some particularly impressive result? (It could even be your own story, or someone who inspired you.)

NICOLE GOURDET: I took on a challenge with a client who was 42 pounds overweight, after having two children. She had two C-sections

STEPHEN SMITH: Since 2007, I have been training young ladies that compete in the Miss America and or, the Miss USA Pageant systems.

Every year since then, I have had one or more preliminary night swimsuit winners and/or the overall swimsuit winner in The Miss Georgia Pageant. This year however, was by far my most successful year. I have been training the current Miss Georgia, Carly Mathis, for three years. In that time, Carly has not only lost over 30 pounds, but when competing for the 2013 title of Miss Georgia, Carly was a preliminary night swimsuit winner and the overall swimsuit winner in the pageant. In September, Carly competed for the title of Miss America where she was a top 10 finalist. But the highlight for both Carly and me was when she was the overall preliminary night swimsuit winner in her group.

DYLAN BOLEN: My most recent success story, one that has inspired me to continue making a difference, comes from a really close family friend who has struggled with her weight for the nine years that I have known her before we started training. Seeing the confidence she now possesses is priceless. Every time we train she is always telling me to “feel her arms,” which have become her proudest accomplishment strength wise and aesthetically.

14 | GA VOICE

01.03.14

www.theGAVoice.com

By DY

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NEWS

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01.03.14

GA VOICE | 15

Pride Medical fires back at Fenuxe magazine in messy suit HIV practice accuses gay magazine of turning litigation into ‘Jerry Springer’ atmosphere

By DYANA BAGBY The lawsuit by Pride Medical Inc. against Atlanta gay magazine Fenuxe took another nasty turn when the medical company accused Fenuxe and its owner of trying to turn the ongoing litigation into a “Jerry Springer”like atmosphere to avoid revealing what the lawsuit is actually about — alleged fraud by the magazine about its distribution in order to charge advertisers higher rates.

Pride Medical Inc., which is suing Fenuxe and alleges the bi-weekly glossy inflated circulation numbers in order to charge advertisers higher rates, denied in a motion filed Dec. 17 personal allegations made against Dr. Lee Anisman, an owner of Pride Medical, by Tyler Calkins who is the owner and publisher of the gay magazine. Calkins alleged in the counterclaim that, among other things, Anisman threatened to rape him and threatened to ruin his business.

After Pride Medical Medical Inc. filed a lawsuit against Fenuxe Nov. 8 citing alleged fraud by the magazine, the magazine and its parent company TW Media Group LLC fired back in a Dec. 9 response denying those allegations and made numerous personal allegations against Anisman, including saying Anisman groped Calkins, threatened to sexually assault him and also went on a campaign to “destroy” Calkins.

“It is clear from defendant’s proposed counterclaims that defendant is merely attempting to create a nearly ‘Jerry Springer’-like atmosphere to this litigation, in order to embarrass Plaintiff and its owners, and to conceal and obscure public attention upon the fraud which it and Mr. Calkins apparently perpetrated upon their clients and customers, including Plaintiff,” the Dec. 17 motion from Pride Medical Inc. states.

DENIAL OF PERSONAL ALLEGATIONS

According to the response, Pride Medical Inc. began advertising with Fenuxe in June 2010 while Anisman did not meet Calkins, 28, until Dec. 2012 when the two met at a charity function.

“A friendship between them began. That relationship eventually developed into a dating relationship,” the response states. Accord-

ing to the counterclaim filed by Calkins and Fenuxe, a week after Anisman and Calkins met they went to dinner at Atlanta Fish Market and then Anisman invited Calkins to his second home in New York on Dec. 26, 2012.

The response also notes, “Mr. Calkins apparently denies that a dating relationship between the two men ever existed. Plaintiff [Anisman] can provide evidence that the couple took numerous pleasure trips together (a total of at least 8, to New York, Boca Raton, Miami, Palm Beach, San Francisco and Las Vegas).

They exchanged literally hundreds of personal phone calls and emails. They sometimes slept in the same bed, especially on trips.

They socialized with friends and family as a dating couple.

They held hands in public. Their relationship had all the trappings of a dating relationship. If Mr. Calkins now denies that such relationship existed, then it appears that he merely feigned interest in Dr. Anisman and induced him into believing that such a relationship existed, presumably for financial gain.”

Anisman and Calkins discussed entering into a business together to purchase another media publication [The GA Voice]. However, in May, Anisman dropped out of the venture but as a favor to Calkins, he co-signed a $165,000 loan so Calkins could use toward the purchase of the business, according to court documents.

The GA Voice owners decided against selling, but, according to the Dec. 17 motion, Calkins used the $165,000 “to pay off his own credit cards or to support his apparently-failing magazine business.”

PRIDE MEDICAL INC. IN ITS DEC. 17 MOTION DENIES ALL OF CALKINS’ COUNTERCLAIMS

• Alleged theft by extortion by Anisman: “The ‘extortion’ alleged by Defendant was actually Dr. Anisman’s good-hearted attempt to pry Tyler Calkins and his company out of the predicament in which they had placed themselves. When confronted by Dr. Anisman

with the circulation discrepancies which Dr. Anisman had discovered, Mr. Calkins admitted that his company had not distributed the numbers of magazines reflected in their media kits. But, he refused to admit such facts to the magazine’s advertisers and instead said he would just ‘step down’ from the company. Dr. Anisman offered to purchase Mr. Calkins’ interest in the business for $35,000 plus forgiveness of the $165,000 loan which Dr. Anisman had co-signed. Mr Calkins declined,” states the Dec. 17 motion.

• Alleged intentional infliction of emotional distress by Anisman: “Most spuriously, defendant claims that Dr. Anisman inflicted emotional distress on Mr. Calkins by threatening to ‘rape’ him, based solely upon the alleged comment that Dr. Anisman could ‘make him a bottom’ and that he threatened to ‘out’ Mr. Calkins to his family,” states the response.

Anisman denies such threats were made but “even if the suggested sexual language was used, it does not imply a threat of ‘sexual assault’ or ‘rape.’ ‘I could make you a bottom’ is not synonymous with ‘I plan to rape you,’” the motion states.

Calkins’ allegation that Anisman threatened to “out” Calkins also has no merits, according to the motion, because Calkins has been an out gay man operating a gay-oriented magazine. Also, the motion notes, Calkins wrote in an article in Fenuxe on April 11, 2013, that he had come out to his family when he was 22.

• Alleged assault by Anisman: “This claim also apparently stems from the ‘bottom’ language allegedly used by Dr. Anisman that Dr. Anisman allegedly tried to ‘grope’ him once while on a trip together. Those events never occurred,” the motion states.

“Even if they did occur, they did not amount to assault. Notably, no actual sex ever occurred between Dr. Anisman and Mr. Calkins and none is alleged in the subject counterclaims.

It will be impossible for Tyler Calkins to sustain a claim of ‘assault’ based upon the alleged

‘groping’ incident, when he regularly shared Dr. Anisman’s bed on pleasure trips by the couple,” states the motion. “Whatever liabilities Dr. Anisman does or does not have in relation to his personal relationship with Tyler Calkins they do not involve Pride Medical Inc.”

PRIDE MEDICAL INC.’S ‘STATEMENT OF FACTS’

When Pride Medical Inc. agreed in 2010 to start advertising in Fenuxe, the medical company was told the magazine was publishing and distributing at least 20,000 copies of the magazine every other week, according to the lawsuit.

A media kit provided to Pride Medical Inc. stated “each issue of Fenuxe is read by over 70,000 readers” ― a number derived from the 20,000 copies printed every two weeks with 3.5 readers per copy as deemed by a BPA audit, the suit states. However, Fenuxe has never submitted its publication for a BPA audit, according to the suit.

The motion further states that Fenuxe’s 2011 media kit (that includes advertising rates and circulation numbers) reported it was printing and distributing 15,000 copies every two weeks.

In 2012 the media kit also reported it was distributing 15,000 copies every two weeks but in 2013 the printing and distribution numbers jumped to 25,000 copies, according to the motion.

Pride Medical Inc. became suspicious of the numbers, the motion states, and on Oct. 14, 2013, Anisman contacted Fenuxe’s then-current printer, Rose Printing Company Inc. [located in Tallahassee, Fla.], “who shared with Plaintiff that Defendant had never ordered more than 13,000 magazines printed for any given edition, and usually ordered only about 10,000 copies, less than 40 percent of what it was representing to its advertisers.”

The motion outlines that in the days leading up to Atlanta Pride on Oct. 12-13, Fenuxe promised Pride Medical Inc. it would be distributing at least 30,000 issues over the weekend and Pride Medical Inc. agreed to purchase 30,000 stickers to be placed individually on each magazine cover. However, the motion states Rose Printing Company Inc. only printed 13,389 for the Atlanta Pride issue.

Pride Medical Inc. sent a letter to Fenuxe on Oct. 28, 2013, asking for Fenuxe’s circulation numbers, the motion states. Fenuxe declined to produce the numbers which led Pride Medical Inc. to file a lawsuit to get the documentation.

Pride Medical Inc.’s attorney Patrick McCrary declined comment as did Anisman.

Tyler Calkins and his attorney, Todd Poole, did not respond for comment for this story.

EDITORIAL

www.theGAVoice.com

THE GEORGIA VOICE

PO Box 77401 | Atlanta, GA 30357 404-815-6941 | www.thegavoice.com

EDITORIAL

Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

Art Director: Mike Ritter mritter@thegavoice.com Staff Writer: Patrick Saunders psaunders@thegavoice.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Melissa Carter, Jim Farmer, Shannon Hames, Steve Warren, Ryan Lee

BUSINESS

Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com

Managing Partner: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com Sales Manager: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com Business Advisor: Lynn Pasqualetti Financial Firm of Record: HLM Financial Group National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

FINE PRINT

All material in the Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by the Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request.

A single copy of the Georgia Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from the Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year. Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to the Georgia Voice, PO Box 77401, Atlanta, GA 30357. The Georgia Voice is published every other Friday by The Georgia Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices.

The editorial positions of the Georgia Voice are expressed in editorials and in editor’s notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Georgia Voice and its staff.

To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification.

Email submissions to editor@ thegavoice.com or mail to the address above.

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01.03.14

GA VOICE | 17

GA VOICES OUR OPINION EDITORIAL

We are responsible for one another How a catnapping (maybe) puts the LGBTQ equality movement in perspective

By DYANA BAGBY Last year about this time, I was plotting to kidnap a cat.

This cat was not my cat, but she had slipped in through the open cat door to my Candler Park apartment one evening, plopped down on the floor and pretty much let me know that, well, she was going to be spending the night there. She then hopped up on my tiny loveseat and squeezed in tight next to me. It was very sweet.

But I did not want a cat. And, lucky for me, her tag said her name was Lacey and I learned from the neighbors she belonged to the family across the street. It was the perfect scenario.

I could have a furry cuddle buddy but I didn’t have to worry about cat food, cat litter, vet bills or any other kind of commitment.

Lacey came and went as she pleased through the cat door that remained open in case I locked myself out of my apartment. I had learned quickly by reaching through that cat door I could easily unlock my door from the inside and save myself embarrassing trips downstairs to my landlord to ask that he let me in.

Before Lacey jumped through that cat door into my apartment that fateful evening perhaps two years ago, we developed a pretty warm friendship. She would jump up on my car hood when I pulled along the curb on Elmira Street to park in front of the home where my upstairs apartment was located. Or she would be lying in the middle of the road and I would have to steer around her. Or, at least once, she was even lying against the curb in my spot, forcing me to get out of the car and ask her to please move.

And so I would pet her and talk to her and ask her about her day and warn her about running into traffic. She would answer by purring.

Then I would walk up to my apartment, alone, and flip on the TV and open my laptop and

while away hours reading, working and trying to come up with witty Facebook status updates.

When Lacey decided months later to take those extra steps and walk up the stairs and through the cat door into my apartment, she broke a barrier that needed to be broken — I was lonely and now I had a companion. Dammit if I didn’t even start buying cat food. This cat who was not my cat soon became my cat.

My life changed dramatically while Lacey lived with me. I met a wonderful woman and began spending more and more nights at her home, leaving Lacey alone. I also found out that Lacey’s owners moved and simply left her behind. My new landlords loved her, but their son was allergic so Lacey wasn’t allowed inside and although I left the cat door open to my apartment, they told me Lacey was lonely and cold and stayed on their porch looking for companionship. And then one chilly night in December, my landlord called to say they were going out of town and were very worried about Lacey and would I be checking on her.

Ugh. This was not my cat! I thought for a moment. But deep down I knew otherwise and Kathleen and I planned a late-night “catnapping” and rescued her to the suburbs where I had been staying and where she has lived for just about a year now. Longer than me actually.

I officially moved in with Kathleen in June and now we have a family of four cats. A little bit catladyish, but still manageable. At least I hope.

So as I reflect back on this “cat-napping” a year ago and look over 2013 and see all the changes — in our world, our country, our movement, our lives and at the GA Voice — I repeat to myself you have to be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. I never thought I would ever own another cat. But Lacey had other ideas. I never thought I could be the editor of an LGBT newspaper in Atlanta — the GA Voice, a newspaper where I’ve worked for more than three years and deeply respect — but here I am, so excited and thrilled with the opportunities before me and before all of us.

Everyone has been ringing the death knell of print media for years, and, yes, it’s true it’s taken on some serious shrapnel and mortal wounds. But print media won’t lay down and die because we are the best at what we do, we have ethical standards, the staff to do in-depth original reporting and accuracy is of utmost importance to us. We are here to inform and educate and entertain and, most important, to be the voice for those who don’t normally have a voice. That has been true and will remain true moving forward.

I envision a newspaper where queer radicals will look on our website or in our newspaper and see themselves reflected while HRC Federal Club members will also see themselves in our pages. And not only that, that each community and all the communities within the LGBTQ-etc. acronym will see themselves and learn about others. And, to put this out in the universe, I hope we’ll all find a way to come together to continue this fight for equality. Because when it comes down to it, many people hate all of us, from trans queers with multi-colored mohawks to straight-looking corporate gay men, because of one basic reason — we love people of the same sex or those who don’t fit in with mainstream society’s accepted gender binary of male and female. And because of who we love, we also fall outside society’s accepted standard of what gender is supposed to be.

People from all sides of this LGBTQ acronym may think we aren’t responsible for each other, that their fight is not our fight, that we don’t have to care for them because they are not like us.

It’s too late, though. We’ve all come in through the cat door and we can no more force each other out and leave each other standing in the cold, wet rain than we can do so to a lonely cat whose family abandoned it.

We are all a family and my hope is the GA Voice will become a community newspaper for each of us to find out what’s happening in our bars and clubs, read about interesting people, find out more about what’s happening under the Gold Dome, learn how national events affect our lives in Georgia and, most importantly, help us continue to win the fight for equality.

But, please, I will not being adopting any more cats, so don’t even ask.

18 | GA VOICE

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

01.03.14

www.theGAVoice.com

THEATER byJIM FARMER

Topher Payne shines light on 1960 ‘Reno’ in new play World premiere explores scenario of three legends locked in room together

15

$

Preview Tix !

Jan. 9 &10

John Guare Jan. 11 - Feb. 9, 2014 By

DirecteD By FreDDie ashley

SponSored by JeSSe r. peel, Md

actors-express.com 404.607.SHOW Actor’s Express at the King Plow Arts Center fulton county arts & culture

SponSored by

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Major funding for this organization is provided by the Fulton County Board of Commissioners under the guidance of the Fulton County Arts Council.

This program is supported in part by the City of Atlanta Office of Cultural Affairs.

AE-Six4.917x5 12.13.indd 1

12/11/13 3:51 PM

Payne, there was the assumption that Taylor and Monroe were rivals and at each other’s throat, when in fact they were not.

“They weren’t really competing for the same roles,” says Payne. Both women were busy making two or three films a year and had not met previA little-known story involvously. ing three superstars and one Clift was out to his friends fateful night together is the and family but not to the subject of playwright Topher outside world. It was a different Payne’s new world premiere time back then, when it was “The Only Light in Reno,” illegal to be gay. opening next week at Georgia “He was discreet, but he Ensemble Theatre and directed would not lie,” says Payne. “He

by Shannon Eubanks.

Johnny Drago as Montgomery didn’t believe it was people’s “Reno,” Payne’s 16th play, Clift in ‘The Only Light in Reno.’ business.” takes place in 1960, when (Photo by R. Todd Fleeman) Monroe and Taylor continue Marilyn Monroe and Montto play a role in today’s society gomery Clift were filming DETAILS of a standard of beauty and “The Misfits” in Reno, Nevada. style — and represent what ‘The Only Light in Reno’ The film was so behind schedGeorgia Ensemble Theatre strong women can be. ule the crew would not let Roswell Cultural Arts Center “Marilyn and Elizabeth had Monroe leave for the premiere 950 Forrest Street, a certain iconography because Roswell, GA 30075 of her upcoming movie, “Let’s of their mixture of strength and Jan. 9 - 26 Make Love,” so the producers vulnerability and style,” Payne www.get.org of that film had the premiere says. He said he believes the priin Reno instead. vate Monroe was very different ‘Six Degrees of Separation’ “All these celebs were flyActor’s Express than the public one. ing in; it was a huge, big deal,” 887 W. Marietta St. “No one convinced her that says Payne. “All over the city, Atlanta, GA 30318 her opinion mattered,” he says, Jan. 8 – Feb. 9 people were trying to find a feeling she was more open with www.actorsexpress.com generator for the theater.” colleagues.

Eventually there was a A few other producers have blackout and Monroe, Clift, expressed interest in “Reno” when this run is Elizabeth Taylor and more found themselves in over, says Payne. a room together, a turn of events Payne made into a dark comedy starring some of Payne’s ACTOR’S EXPRESS PRESENTS favorite actors to work with — Johnny Drago ‘SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION’ as Clift, Kate Donadio as Elizabeth Taylor and Also next week, Actor’s Express opens Rachel Sorsa as Monroe.

John Guare’s comedy/drama “Six Degrees of This is Payne’s third play with the RoswellSeparation.” It’s directed by Freddie Ashley, based company, after “Swell Party” and “Tokens the artistic director of the company. of Affection.” Bob Farley and his wife Anita, the The original 1990 play became a movie company’s artistic director and managing direcwith Stockard Channing reprising her role. A tor, respectively, loved the idea after one pitch.

New York couple — Ouisa (Mary Lynn Owen) “When Bob and Anita and I got together and and Flan (James Donadio) — are charmed were prepping ‘Swell Party’ I told them the story by the young Paul (Jason-Jamal Ligon), who about when all these people were in a room,” claims to be a friend of their children and Payne recalls. “I couldn’t believe it had not been the son of Sidney Poitier. They eventually told. We had not been talking (about future find out the truth; in one memorable scene, work) but they fell in love with it.”

Ouisa and Flan find Paul with a naked male Having a show in the suburbs hasn’t hinhustler. dered Payne’s style – he’s been able to run with Ashley chose “Six Degrees” for this season whatever he’s come up with. for a number of reasons.

“It allows me to reach people I might not “One is that I think it really speaks to that otherwise get a chance to,” says Payne, who longing in all of us to find our place in the premiered his Suzi Bass Award-winning play world, which can seem so vast and isolat“Angry Fags” last year at 7 Stages in Little Five ing,” he says. “I also appreciate that it deals Points. with contemporary issues such as race, class For a few months after the project got a and sexual orientation with a delicate blend green light, Payne did nothing but research on of humor and sensitivity.” the period and the performers. According to

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FOOD BY BroderickSmylie

Healthy options from Inman Park’s Wrecking Bar Brewpub include a Gaji Bokkeum (sautéed Gaia Gardens Japanese eggplant with Korean spices. (Photos courtesy Wrecking Bar Brewpub)

Explore these restaurants for healthy eating in 2014 hind Wrecking Bar in Inman Park are out to show you that healthy eating and local beer can go hand-in-hand.

No stranger to local farm-fresh cuisine after a stint in opening the city’s original Farm Burger in Decatur and top restaurants around town, Chef Terry Koval has been receiving It’s the time of year where year-round raves for his cuisine that goes well with or health club goers cringe and membership without a beer. counselors crave — the New Year brings out “The five years I spent at Canoe between people all of all shapes and sizes that are 2000-2005 taught me the getting to work on their New fundamentals, taught me Year’s resolutions focusing on MORE INFO technique and the talent I fitness and getting healthier.

Wrecking Bar Brewpub was surrounded by brought 292 Moreland Ave. NE There’s a saying that abs out the creative side of me Atlanta, GA 30307 aren’t made in the gym, www.wreckingbarbrewpub.com that has become the backthey’re made in the kitchen. bone of my style as a chef,” You can work out frequently G’s (formerly Gilbert’s) Koval says. on a regular basis but if 219 10th St. “While working for Conyou’re not eating right, you Atlanta, GA 30309 centrics restaurant group I won’t get the results you’re www.gsmidtown learned what it takes to truly looking for. Restaurant meals Cafe Agora Midtown run not only a kitchen, but can be laden with calories.

92 Peachtree Pl NE an entire operation. Farm However, if you know where Atlanta, GA 30309 Burger brought it all together to look, restaurateurs are www.cafeagora.com and allowed me to become a angling to for the almighty liaison, building the reladollar of those who are tionship between the watching their figure. farmer, the rancher, A brewpub isn’t the the butcher and the first place where you’d kitchen.” think to find a healthy A notable regular meal, but the people be-

Vegetables, grilled meat, local produce help you keep resolutions when dining out

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Veggie plates ensure fewer calories feature at Wrecking Bar is their vegetarian Tuesdays event that provides a breath of fresh air for diners who may be used to ordering from the fringes of a menu or risk being served a plate full of sides.

Chef Koval, who sports a pig tattoo on his arm, might have been skeptical about a menu that includes meat substitutes, but he says the menu allowed him to expand his craft by forcing him to learn another side of cuisine in order to “highlight an aspect of our restaurant that we have become known for.”

It takes a bit more work to source vegetables locally as opposed to getting them shipped in from a food service truck. Koval says that neighborhood farmers visit the Wrecking Bar on a daily basis bringing the restaurant as fresh a product as possible with help from locals such as Love is Love/Gaia Gardens, Hudson Rouse at East Atlanta Veggies, Bobby Britt, Woodland Gardens and Riverview Farms — and that’s just to name a few.

On the carnivore side of the menu, Koval is excited about a comforting dish made with poultry sourced in Georgia.

“As of now the dish we are most excited about for our winter menu is going to be our Darby Farms chicken and dumplings. The chickens, sourced from Daniel Dover, are pasture-raised, fed on only organic feed and have neither hormones or antibiotics introduced into their system,” he says.

COMMUNITY FAVORITES CONTINUE TO OFFER HEALTHY OPTIONS

Another community favorite, Gilbert’s has t to revamped and is sporting a new menu and eer theme from their corner at 10th and Piedmont. The 14-year-old eatery is now known e af- now simply as G’s.

“Although we made some changes over arm ound the years for Gilbert’s we decided to bring something fresh to Midtown. If we did not g change the name it would mislead the or guests,” said Sean Yereman, owner of the en restaurant.

Healthy items on the menu include a garden vegetable melt with seasonal veggies e and a basil aioli, the G’s salad, grilled turkey I ght ribs and blackened mahi-mahi tacos. The restaurant also supports local farms and uses me 80 percent local produce on its menu. kIf you’re missing the Mediterranean ef,” cuisine on the Gilbert’s menu, one only needs on- to walk a few blocks to Cafe Agora’s Midtown p I location. After satisfying fans in Buckhead, truly the intimate location offers a bounty of food ut for those aiming for a slimmer waistline.

Dive into the mixed maza platter for a m ther parade of hits that include the restaurant’s me a top notch hummus — a mix of mashed ela- chickpeas, garlic, olive oil and the perfect he amount of citrus. You’ll also get your fill of baba ghanoush, eggplant salad, white beans r, and daily specials. e On the carnivore side of the coin, a variety of grilled meats are available in the form ar

of shish kebabs, and lamb and beef gyros. If you’d rather not decide, as with the vegetarian options listed above, go for the Agora Mixed Grill option with chicken and lamb kabobs, kofta kabob and gyros.

Regardless of where you eat, don’t be afraid to ask questions about how a meal is prepared. Look out for grilled meats, keep an eye on hidden calories in salad by asking for dressing on the side, choose items with fresh fruits and vegetables and limit alcohol intake.

When dining at G’s in Midtown, be sure to check out their healthy options including beet flatbread. (Photo by Brandon Amato)

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Event spotlight

FRIDAY, JAN. 3

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Furry Disco Balls with DJ Headmaster and Cousin Oliver. Macho men and dancing diva looks are encouraged, 9 p.m., Mary’s, www.marysatlanta.com Fur Friday Nights featuring DJ TBD at 10 p.m., Atlanta Heretic, www.hereticatlanta.com

FRIDAY, JAN. 3 The Other Show takes over the Jungle every Friday and stars such local drag icons as Edie Cheezburger, Jaye Lish and Violet Chachki. 9 p.m., www.jungleatl.com

Photo via Facebook

Publicity photo

Lips Atlanta is the home for Dinner With the Divas, hosted by Savannah Leigh and Stiletto, with all sorts of celebrity impersonators. The bar opens at 6 p.m. with show at 7:45 p.m., Lips Atlanta, www. lipsatl.com

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 8 Actor’s Express opens the gay themed comedy/drama “Six Degrees of Separation,” directed by its artistic director Freddie Ashley, 8 p.m. tonight, www. actorsexpress.com

e two w in our onlin There are r inclusion fo t r n u e o v y e LGBT ubmit alendars. S . and print c www.theGAVvoice to fo event in to editor@ ail details com or e-m om. e.c theGAVoic

Atlanta Eagle owner Robby Kelly celebrates his 50th birthday tonight with a bash from 10 – 11 p.m., www.atlantaeagle.com The Manuscript, Archives, and Rare Book Library (MARBL) at Emory University is debuting its first exhibit of materials from its LGBT collections, through May at the MARBL gallery on level 10 of the Robert W. Woodruff Library after library the hours - 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., http://marbl.library.emory.edu/

SATURDAY, JAN. 4

SUNDAY, JAN. 5

bout Tell us aBT event your LG ays to submit your

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PFLAG hosts the parents of gender variant/trans children support group meeting today from 2 – 4 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, www.uuca.org/ Featuring fun and all sorts of intertwined body parts, The Atlanta Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and The Atlanta Eagle bring you Jockstrap Sister Twister, raising money for the Sisters grant program, 9 – 11 p.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaeagle.com The Divas Cabaret, starring Destiny Brooks, Heather Daniels, Iysis Dupree, Kitty Love and special guests, begins at 11 p.m., with DJ Birdman spinning before and after, LeBuzz, www.thenewlebuzz.com Gurlfrandz presents “Legendary Children” with Brigitte Bidet, Ella/saurus/ REX, Cayenne Rouge, Violet Chachki and Mo’Dest Volgare presenting some “sickening performances.” There will also be the Atlanta premiere of a 9-minute short film starring these queens and Nicole Paige Brooks, produced and directed by Jon Dean and Blake England. There’s more — Ree de la Vega from Bitch, Please! Will be spinning for the dance party after the show. Dress up in your most fierce attire and you might win something! 11 p.m., Mary’s, www.marysatlanta.com

MONDAY, JAN. 6

Ten Atlanta hosts free Texas Hold’em Poker, 7 p.m., www.tenatlanta.com

SATURDAY, JAN. 4

Atlanta’s Best Dance Party features New York DJ Mike Cruz. Guest appreciation night and no cover. 11 p.m., Jungle, www.jungleatl.com

SOMETHINGGAYEVERYDAY!

Bookmark www.thegavoice.com to get your daily dose of local LGBT events.

The PFLAG Atlanta support group meets tonight, 7:30 – 9 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, www.uuca.org

TUESDAY, JAN. 7

Are you struggling with a recent divorce, separation, or breakup? The LGBTQ Divorce Group is supportive of the unique challenges queer and trans people sometimes face when going through a breakup. This bimonthly discussion group — facilitated by Nicole Gilkey, MSW — is an Urban Sustainability and Wellness Program. Suggested donation is $5 but no one will be turned away. 7 – 8:30 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com The Feminist Women’s Health Center hosts a Special Screening: Scenes from the HB954 debates, aka the ‘Women as Livestock’ bill. HB 954 supporter state Rep. Terry England (R-Auburn) stated that if farmers have to “deliver calves, dead or alive,” then a woman carrying a dead fetus, or one not expected to survive, should be forced to carry it to term. Discussion will follow.

RSVP at www.feministcenter.org/rsvp

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 8

Join Bubba Dee and special guests for the monthly PALS Bingo, with doors opening at 6:30 p.m., Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com Hip Hop Karaoke is all the rage tonight at 8 p.m. at My Sister’s Room, www.mysistersroom.com Adult performer Charlie Harding hosts his “Hard Body” contest with all sorts of hotties, beginning at 11 p.m. at Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

THURSDAY, JAN. 9

Make some new friends as SAGE Atlanta sponsors its weekly meeting/social event, 11 a.m. – 2 p.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.org “Sing For Your Life” kicks off its second season with an all new Top 12 of live talent, beginning at 9 p.m., Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com

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Find out more about marriage equality as Georgia Equality and Lambda Legal host a Marriage Town Hall featuring Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality; Tara Borelli, staff attorney of Lambda Legal; and Lynn Pasqualetti, certified tax preparer, HLM Accounting. Questions about what the end of DOMA means for couples in Georgia will be addressed, as will queries about state and federal tax filings. The event is free, but RSVPs are required to http://equalityfederation.salsalabs .com/o/35006/p/salsa/event/common/ public/?event_KEY=2866. 6:30 – 8 p.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.org Charis Books offers “Braving the Fire and Writing the Tough Stuff,” a craft class on difficult memoir strategies with Jessica Handler, author of “Braving the Fire: A Guide to Writing About Grief and Loss.” This is a From Margin to Center Literary Event focusing on personal difficulty, such as loss, grief and trauma.

The suggested donation is $5. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com Topher Payne’s new play “The Only Light in Reno,” about Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift locked in a room one evening in 1960, bows at Georgia Ensemble Theatre in Roswell, 8 p.m., www.get.org

Publicity photo

Shawnna Brooks hosts Guys and Dolls on Thursday nights. Showtime is 11 p.m., Blake’s on the Park, www.blakesonthepark.com

SATURDAY, JAN. 11

“Reel Out,” an LGBT Film Fest, is sponsored by the Auburn Avenue Research Library on African Culture and History. The event will feature a screening of the short films “Shirts vs. Skins,” “Master Piece” and “Stuck” and discussion with the films’ director, Teresa Dowell-Vest. 3 p.m., www.afpls.org/aarl

The Dancefloor Divas take over every Thursday with hostess and former “RuPaul’s Drag Race” contestant Phoenix. 11:30 p.m., Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

FRIDAY, JAN. 10

Destiny Brooks and Justice Taylor host the raucous Femme Fatale event tonight at 11 p.m. at Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

Second Friday Art Amok’s Women of the World Poetry Slam Championship features an abbreviated, first come, first served, all-artist open mic as usual. Then five opinionated people will be recruited to score the slam! There will be four rounds of poetry; 1-2-3-4 minute poems to determine a champion who will represent Atlanta Art Amok at the World Poetry Slam this March in Austin, Texas. The competition will be fierce, include such favorites as Stephanie Morey, Shyla Hardwick, Malika Hadley Freydberg, Theresa Davis, Erin C Poetry, Taleesha, Lizzy and Karen G. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. at In Tune Music Studio in Grant Park, across from Zoo Atlanta. $5 cover, http://on.fb.me/JE3aVD

SATURDAY, JAN. 11

The 2nd Annual Georgia Entertainment Gala honors triumphs in the state’s television and film industry as well as Georgia-born actress and Emmy winner Carrie Preston (“True Blood,” “The Good Wife,”) with a Roaring ’20s black tie theme, 5 – 11 p.m., Georgia World Congress Center, www.gwcc.com Expect lots of hairy men out and about for the Southern Bears Bar Night, 10 – 11 p.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaeagle.com

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Atlanta’s Best Dance Party featuring superstar DJ Tracy Young, one of the country’s top Djs/producers/remixers. 10 p.m., Jungle, www.jungleatl.com DragXotic featuring Necole Luv Dupree, Trinity Bonet, Nichelle Paris, Stasha Sanchez and Taejah Thomas is a new Saturday night party. Showtime at 11 p.m., Blake’s on the Park, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

SUNDAY, JAN. 12

The Saints, Panthers, Broncos or the 49ers?

Come out and watch the NFL playoffs at Woofs Atlanta all afternoon with your football friends, www.woofsatlanta.com

MONDAY, JAN. 13

Join Moral Monday Georgia today for its first rally, lobbying for the state to receive more Medicaid benefits. Several speakers are on tap for the event, 4 – 6 p.m. at the Georgia State Capitol.

(See story on page 9)

TUESDAY, JAN. 14

Enjoy an $8 burger and brew today from noon to 5 p.m. at Amsterdam Atlanta, www.amsterdamatlanta.com

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 23 WEDNESDAY, JAN. 15

The Office of LGBT Life at Emory hosts an Open House for its four weekly, hour-long discussion groups focusing on topics related to sexual and gender identities: Queer Men, Transforming Gender, Bisexual /Pansexual, and Queer Students of Color, 5:30 p.m., Office of LGBT Life at Emory, www.lgbt.emory.edu Having a hard time mingling sexuality and spirituality? “Advanced Sexuality Series: Bridging the Divide Between Sex & Spirituality” looks at separating the two. Marla Renee Stewart and Maisha Najuma Aza from A Life Alive Consulting discuss understanding the various kinds of sacred sexuality, how sexuality and spirituality play a particular role in life, and how knowing the chakras can enable psychoanalyzing actions.

This is a Charis Circle Urban Sustainability and Wellness Event. The suggested donation is $15. 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

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WEDNESDAY, JAN. 22

Dancer, social worker and author Sheila K. Collins discusses her book “Warrior Mother: Fierce Love, Unbearable Loss and Rituals that Heal,” dealing with her son’s battle with AIDS and her daughter’s fight against breast cancer, tonight at 7:30 at Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

THURSDAY, JAN. 16

FRIDAY, JAN. 24

Atlanta Pride screens the documentary “Audre Lorde: The Berlin Years” at 7 p.m. at the Phillip Rush Center Event Room, with a $5 requested donation, www.rushcenteratl.org.

UPCOMING SATURDAY, JAN. 18

Create Love for Women Who Love Women presents a workshop on DOMA and its impact on people in Georgia with Judge Phyllis Williams.

10 a.m.-12:30 p.m., donation asked is $10, Little Five Points Community Center, sharrongjamison@gmail.com, imani@surviving2thriving.org, www.phyllisrwilliamspc.com

MONDAY, JAN. 20

MLK celebrations will be held all over town today; more specific events and times forthcoming. One of those is the annual Bayard Rustin/Audre Lourde breakfast at 8 a.m., location TBD

Publicity photo

24 | GA VOICE

SUNDAY, JAN. 19

HBO unveils its new gay-themed series “Looking,” about a group of friends in San Francisco, directed by Andrew Haigh (“Weekend”) and starring out actor Jonathan Groff of “Glee” fame, 10:30 p.m., HBO, www.hbo.com

TUESDAY, JAN. 21

The Atlanta DINE-Out for Muscular Dystrophy is a benefit/community fundraiser for The FSH Society, raising money to help find a cure for FacioScapuloHumeral Muscular Dystrophy (FSH or FSHD), 6 – 10 p.m., Yeah! Burger, www.yeahburger.com

BOOK

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Tacos and more - the Atlanta Gay Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) hosts a free Fourth Friday event blending socializing and networking opportunities, 5:30 – 7:30 p.m., Escorpion Tacos & Tequila, www.urestaurants.com/

Lesbian faves Halcyon – “the girls with guitars” – Yo don’t visit Eddie’s Attic at 10 p.m., Yo www.eddiesattic,com

got n eled, marr Atlanta’s Best Dance Party featuring rising repea star DJ Billy Lace of New York City who will be being making his Atlanta debut. He is a resident DJ for raise So Winter Party in Miami, XL Nightclub in NYC and what Hydrate in Chicago. 10 p.m., Jungle, think www.jungleatl.com In th

By Lo The Midtown Men – featuring four of the stars abou Mich of the original “Jersey Boys” musical – bring and M their crooning talents to the Cobb Energy Cenwher ter at 7 p.m., www.cobbenergycentre.org cross Fo proba perso else. or ar Th peopl “obsc alitie lives the a that L ences Th Ta than has.” and g gay m may Or mask belief more thoug came the b Sa marr for h religi race ing h the m not a are “c

SATURDAY, JAN. 25

SUNDAY, JAN. 26

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BOOKS by Terri Schlichenmeyer

We’re all created equal — or are we?

New book explores 20 LGBT myths You’ve been hearing rumors. You don’t know what to believe.

Your favorite club is closing, it’s got new owners, it’s being remodeled, none of the above. You can get married anytime, the law is being repealed, it’s being approved. You’re being downsized, you’re getting a raise.

Sometimes, you don’t know what to think. Other times, you think you know but you’re wrong.

In the new book “‘You Can Tell Just

By Looking’ And 20 Other Myths about LGBT Life and People” by Michael Bronski, Ann Pellegrini and Michael Amico, you’ll see where truth and misconception cross paths.

For most of your life, you’ve probably heard how no one person is better than anybody else. We’re all created equal … or are we?

Thinking, for instance, that LGBT people are “the same as” straight people “obscures the fact that specific everyday realities and social structures have shaped the lives of LGBT people very differently…” say the authors. Even the term “LGBT” ignores that L, G, B, and T are “all distinct experiences.”

The myths continue: Take the notion that “gaydar” is more than just intuition, “a skill that everybody… has.” While research shows that lesbians and gay men can identify other lesbians and gay men better than can straight people, it may only be a matter of desire or empathy.

Or consider the myth that homophobia masks a straight person’s true desire. That belief came from something published more than 50 years ago; the author took the thought in a different direction, but “it became the main idea people took away from the book.”

Same-sex marriage does not “harm” marriage as a whole; in fact, it may “make for happier heterosexual couples.” Not all religions “condemn” homosexuality; no one race is particularly biased against it; parenting has nothing to do with the sexuality of the mothers or fathers (“good parenting… is not a biological given”); bodies and sexuality are “complicated”; and it’s not necessarily

Your financial needs are unique.

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Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Some products and services may not be available in all jurisdictions or to all clients. Ameriprise Financial cannot guarantee future financial results. © 2013 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

easier coming out today than it was a halfcentury ago.

Though your Mama warned against such things, based on the cover, you might think that this is a fun kind of book. And you’d be disappointed.

No, “’You Can Tell Just by Looking’” is filled with deep-thinking research-based information and no-nonsense answers to “myths” that may or may not be widelyrumored. It’s wordy to the extreme, and – though authors Michael Bronski, Ann Pellegrini and Michael Amico claim that LBGT readers believe myths about themselves – I often wondered if this book was preaching to the choir. There’s a whole lotta overgeneralization goin’ on here, too.

Still, the authors don’t shy away from controversy; they tackle some tough (and food-for-thought) ideas with thoughtful introspection. I appreciated that lack of fear and the willingness they had to confront illconceived credos.

Overall, I think that if you’re searching for retorts to blanket-statements about LGBT people, this book may give you what you need. It won’t be the most fun thing you’ve ever read, but “’You Can Tell Just by Looking’” is one I believe may help.

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COLUMNISTS

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MELISSA CARTER

THAT'S WHAT S SHE SAID New Year means new beginnings It’s a New Year and that means a new beginning. I like the idea of a restart every 12 months.

Like an annual To-Do-list, the New Year allows us to check off what we accomplished in 2013, reconsider the marks we missed. Then we are allowed to throw the list away for good and start a new one. But first, we should take a hard look at the missed achievements from years gone by.

Let’s start with the recent past. Last year, my goal seemed fairly simple. I strived only to post a cat video to my YouTube channel that would obtain at least 30,000 views. I strived to catch one of my three cats in an objectively adorable moment. But nothing the cats did caused more than 100 folks to view their videos. Clearly, cat videos were not my forte.

Like so many others, I have dedicated other New Years to getting in shape, only to lose motivation by the Spring. Back in 1985, I promised myself to do calisthenics every day. I failed. I certainly would have been an Olympian by now had my will power reached my creativity.

Then, of course, there is the year in my 20s when I vowed to get out of debt. I even went so far as to outline on paper exactly how much money would be taken out of each paycheck so as to clear my debt. The fact I had more than one maxed-out credit card should have been an indication of my deficient financial discipline.

But ringing in the New Year didn’t miraculously cause my spending habits to change. It wouldn’t be until I was nearly 35 when I finally cleared the debt on those cards and it was not because of the New Year.

The fact is that the calendar is not the key to success. For me, organization is the answer. One year, I bought the tools to get organized - on my credit card of course. I thought small shelves, file folders and labels would solve it all. In reality, some of those items stayed in their plastic wrap the entire year, waiting to be used.

Trying to force change on yourself can

‘Int me

I’m about 33-an Melissa Carter is currently one of the Morning age 3 Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for Huffington Post. She is recognized as one of chond Th the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and age is one of only a few in the country. Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter man, since myse cause stress. So naturally, I once swore offgered stress. It would be that easy. I declared Ifestiv would no longer stress about things in my I’v life and, poof, it would happen. This mental-dread ing 30 ity lasted almost to January 3.

I have yet to call these New Year’s promisesmatu “resolutions,” because that’s not what theybut it have been for me. The dictionary defines reso-youn lution as “firm determination,” and I have not I’v been firm or determined in integrating theseboun changes into my life. They are more like pro-main fessions of my insecurities, an announcementthan of what I realized I couldn’t achieve alone inWith 33-an private.

I am hesitant to create any goals for 2014,consi since based on previous years I’m unlikely to Yo achieve them anyway. But the American Psy-in 199 chological Association, or AMA, would tell me to Th remember they perfection is unattainable. Onew tu it’s website the AMA gives New Year’s Resolution-thoug ers the advice to recover from mistakes and getface, of ad back on track when creating change.

They also advise you to talk about it, andsame share with your friends and families your goal I M for the New Year. They say having someone toYour share the journey with makes it less intimi- I h satisfi dating.

I would add to their list of suggestions theweek idea of only making changes you sincerely wanttion. to make. Don’t simply participate in New Year’s Af so as to talk yourself into doing something. Ac-met o cording to Forbes Magazine, only 8 percent offor co people achieve their New Year’s resolutions. NewChris beginnings require honesty and knowing youvisite aren’t truly committed to making real changenotice will defeat any resolution before the clock evenweek As strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve.

COLUMNISTS

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01.03.14

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RYAN LEE

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It’s half your age times what again?

‘Intermillenial Love’ still means doing the math

Atlanta’s Choice for Self Storage Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

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I’m not one of those gay men who obsesses about my age. I’m entirely comfortable being 33-and-a-half years old, except that Jesus died at age 33, which can be discomforting to a hypochondriac with a messianic complex.

The only area where I’m cognizant of my age is in the dating scene, which, as a single gay man, occupies no more than a third of my life since I also work and sleep most days. I’ve prided myself on avoiding the mid-life crisis often triggered by a gay man’s 25th birthday or third Pride festival, whichever occurs first.

I’ve been vigilant against the remorse and dread that seeps into one’s mindset upon turning 30. I know that it would only reveal my immaturity to consider myself elderly in any way, but it’s becoming a stretch to consider myself young in many ways.

I’ve become more bruising than a nightclub bouncer when considering hook-ups and dates, mainly because of my own discomfort rather than the merits of any particular demographic.

With the dawn of 2014 and the approach of the 33-and-five-eighths milestone, I’m beginning to consider some hardline non-negotiables: You Must Have Been Born Before This Date in 1993 This is baseline eligibility. My oldest nephew turned 20 years old in December, and even though he’s grown enough to have tattoos on his face, it’s impossible for me to entertain any type of adult relationship with someone who’s the same age as the baby whose diaper I changed.

I Must Not Be In the Same Decade of Life as Your Parents I had thought this condition would’ve been satisfied by the 1993 threshold, but from this weekend forward it requires specific enumeration.

After several weeks of texting with a guy I met on a geo-social site, we decided to meet up for cocktails and ice skating on the Friday after Christmas. A few hours before our date, I revisited his online profile and for the first time noticed that he was 25 years old, and only a few weeks removed from being 24.

As unsettling as this was, I fought to not let it

negate the maturity of the ideas and expression that he shared in our texting convos. I laughed at myself as the memories of my friends who were on the snowier end of a May-December relationship synched to say, “But he’s really mature for his age. Like, he’s more mature than most of the 40-year-olds I know.”

My date was as grown and seasoned as our earlier conversations had predicted, and while soft and tight, his face had a wisdom and wornness to it that made me comfortable getting to know him more.

And while I was getting to know him more, amid our kisses and pillow talk, he casually mentioned that his mother was in her thirties.

In that moment, I realized I was old enough to have a heart attack.

I felt cruel dismissing a stellar young man who had done nothing wrong but be born to a 14-year-old mother (who herself went on to a distinguished military career), but being closer in age to my partner’s parent than I am to him is not a life stage I am ready to enter just yet.

You Must Have Been In High School in the ’90s This is the principle that has dominated my dating boundaries during the transition into my 30s, but it will likely be the first to erode. Eventually, there will be 50-year-olds who were in the pre-K class of ’00, and if I’m still on the market by then, I’ll be open to intermillenial love.

This restriction is already a bit irrational, but my sensibilities are immature enough to be regulated by young taboos. Chatting with a 27-year-old in a bar felt perfectly appropriate and legal when I was 33-and-two-fifteenths, until he mentioned that his freshman year in high school was post-Y2K. I know it’s empirically prudish to be creeped out by such a brief difference in age, but I did a little quick math and realized that 10 years before our encounter, he was finishing his sophomore year in high school as I was graduating college … on a five-year plan.

We’re less than a decade away from partners-born-in-different-centuries becoming a Census trend, and were I obsessed with age, I might find that prospect terrifying.

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