01/08/16, Vol. 6 Issue 22

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New Genvoya is now available

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Actual Size

One pill contains elvitegravir, cobicistat, emtricitabine, and tenofovir alafenamide (TAF).

Ask your healthcare provider if GENVOYA is right for you.

To learn more visit GENVOYA.com

Please see Brief Summary of Patient Information with important warnings on the following pages.

12/4/15 4:12 PM

Brief Summary of Patient Information about GENVOYA GENVOYA (jen-VOY-uh) (elvitegravir, cobicistat, emtricitabine, and tenofovir alafenamide) tablets Important: Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with GENVOYA. There may be new information about GENVOYA. This information is only a summary and does not take the place of talking with your healthcare provider about your medical condition or treatment.

What is the most important information I should know about GENVOYA? GENVOYA can cause serious side effects, including: • Build-up of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis).

Lactic acidosis may happen in some people who take GENVOYA. Lactic acidosis is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Lactic acidosis can be hard to identify early, because the symptoms could seem like symptoms of other health problems. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms, which could be signs of lactic acidosis: • • • • • • •

feel very weak or tired have unusual (not normal) muscle pain have trouble breathing have stomach pain with nausea or vomiting feel cold, especially in your arms and legs feel dizzy or lightheaded have a fast or irregular heartbeat

• Severe liver problems. Severe liver problems may happen in people who take GENVOYA. In some cases, these liver problems can lead to death. Your liver may become large and you may develop fat in your liver.

Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms of liver problems: • your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice) • dark “tea-colored” urine • light-colored bowel movements (stools) • loss of appetite for several days or longer • nausea • stomach pain • You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking GENVOYA for a long time.

• Worsening of Hepatitis B infection. GENVOYA is not for use to treat chronic hepatitis B virus (HBV). If you have HBV infection and take GENVOYA, your HBV may get worse (flareup) if you stop taking GENVOYA. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before.

• Do not run out of GENVOYA. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your GENVOYA is all gone.

• Do not stop taking GENVOYA without first talking to your healthcare provider.

• If you stop taking GENVOYA, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly for several months to check your HBV infection.

Tell your healthcare provider about any new or unusual symptoms you may have after you stop taking GENVOYA.

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What is GENVOYA? GENVOYA is a prescription medicine that is used without other HIV-1 medicines to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older: • who have not received HIV-1 medicines in the past or • to replace their current HIV-1 medicines in people who have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months, have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is less than 50 copies/mL, and have never failed past HIV-1 treatment HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. GENVOYA contains the prescription medicines elvitegravir (VITEKTA®), cobicistat (TYBOST®), emtricitabine (EMTRIVA®) and tenofovir alafenamide.

It is not known if GENVOYA is safe and effective in children under 12 years of age.

When used to treat HIV-1 infection, GENVOYA may: • Reduce the amount of HIV-1 in your blood.

This is called “viral load”.

• Increase the number of CD4+ (T) cells in your blood that help fight off other infections.

Reducing the amount of HIV-1 and increasing the CD4+ (T) cells in your blood may help improve your immune system. This may reduce your risk of death or getting infections that can happen when your immune system is weak (opportunistic infections).

GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. You must stay on continuous HIV-1 therapy to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses.

Avoid doing things that can spread HIV-1 infection to others: • Do not share or re-use needles or other injection equipment.

• Do not share personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them, like toothbrushes and razor blades.

• Do not have any kind of sex without protection. Always practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood.

Ask your healthcare provider if you have any questions about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to other people.

Who should not take GENVOYA? Do not take GENVOYA if you also take a medicine that contains: • alfuzosin hydrochloride (Uroxatral®) • carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®) • cisapride (Propulsid®, Propulsid Quicksolv®) • ergot-containing medicines, including: dihydroergotamine mesylate (D.H.E. 45®, Migranal®), ergotamine tartrate (Cafergot®, Migergot®, Ergostat®, Medihaler Ergotamine®, Wigraine®, Wigrettes®), and methylergonovine maleate (Ergotrate®, Methergine®) • lovastatin (Advicor®, Altoprev®, Mevacor®) • midazolam, when taken by mouth • phenobarbital (Luminal®) • phenytoin (Dilantin®, Phenytek®) • pimozide (Orap®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®) • sildenafil (Revatio®), when used for treating lung problems • simvastatin (Simcor®, Vytorin®, Zocor®) • triazolam (Halcion®) • the herb St. John’s wort or a product that contains St. John’s wort

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking GENVOYA? Before taking GENVOYA, tell your healthcare provider if you: • have liver problems including hepatitis B infection • have kidney or bone problems • have any other medical conditions • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if GENVOYA can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking GENVOYA. Pregnancy registry: there is a pregnancy registry for women who take HIV-1 medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of this registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk with your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry.

• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take GENVOYA. – You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

– At least one of the medicines in GENVOYA can pass to your baby in your breast milk. It is not known if the other medicines in GENVOYA can pass into your breast milk.

– Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Other medicines may affect how GENVOYA works.

Some medicines may interact with GENVOYA. Keep a list of your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine.

• You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact with GENVOYA. • Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider.

Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take GENVOYA with other medicines.

How should I take GENVOYA?

• Take GENVOYA exactly as your healthcare provider tells you to take it. GENVOYA is taken by itself (not with other HIV-1 medicines) to treat HIV-1 infection.

• GENVOYA is usually taken 1 time each day.

• Take GENVOYA with food.

• If you need to take a medicine for indigestion (antacid) that contains aluminum and • • • •

magnesium hydroxide or calcium carbonate during treatment with GENVOYA, take it at least 2 hours before or after you take GENVOYA. Do not change your dose or stop taking GENVOYA without first talking with your healthcare provider. Stay under a healthcare provider’s care when taking GENVOYA. Do not miss a dose of GENVOYA. If you take too much GENVOYA, call your healthcare provider or go to the nearest hospital emergency room right away.

When your GENVOYA supply starts to run low, get more from your healthcare provider or pharmacy. This is very important because the amount of virus in your blood may increase if the medicine is stopped for even a short time. The virus may develop resistance to GENVOYA and become harder to treat.

What are the possible side effects of GENVOYA? GENVOYA may cause serious side effects, including: • See “What is the most important information I should know about GENVOYA?” • Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medicine. These changes may include increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the middle of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having any new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine.

• New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking GENVOYA. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking GENVOYA if you develop new or worse kidney problems.

• Bone problems can happen in some people who take GENVOYA. Bone problems may include bone pain, softening or thinning (which may lead to fractures). Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your bones.

The most common side effect of GENVOYA is nausea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

• These are not all the possible side effects of GENVOYA. For more information, ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist.

• Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects.

You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

General information about the safe and effective use of GENVOYA. Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Patient Information leaflet. Do not use GENVOYA for a condition for which it was not prescribed.

Do not give GENVOYA to other people, even if they have the same symptoms you have.

It may harm them.

This Brief Summary summarizes the most important information about GENVOYA. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about GENVOYA that is written for health professionals.

For more information, call 1-800-445-3235 or go to www.GENVOYA.com.

Keep GENVOYA and all medicines out of reach of children.

Issued: November 2015

EMTRIVA, GENVOYA, the GENVOYA Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, TYBOST, and VITEKTA are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. © 2015 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. GENC0002 11/15

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GEORGIANEWS

Gender-neutral pronouns on the rise Communities slowly accept singular pronoun ‘they’

him or her and the like: All students must complete their homework, not Each student must complete his or her homework,” wrote Washington Post copy editor Bill Walsh in the memo. “When such a rewrite is impossible or hopelessly awkward, however, what is known as ‘the singular they’ is permissible: Everyone has their own opinion about the traditional grammar rule. The singular they is also useful in references to people who identify as neither male nor female.”

The New York Times even used the pronoun “Mx.” to refer to a gender-neutral source in a Nov. 2015 profile of a New York City bookshop and activist center. That’s the pronoun the source used and the Times respected their wishes.

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com As transgender rights and issues finally became part of the national conversation in 2015, those in and outside of the LGBT community began to process new ways not only of thinking, but also speaking. One of the major topics to emerge from that conversation is gender-neutral pronouns.

People who use gender-neutral pronouns don’t identify specifically with either “he” or “she” pronouns. The most common gender-neutral pronoun usage is they/them/their, although there are others, including ze and hir.

Atlanta resident Taylor Alxndr, 22, identifies as agender, i.e. they don’t have a binary male or female gender identity.

“It’s different for every individual person, but for me, being agender, I don’t have a gender identity and I want to stay as neutral as possible. So they/them/their feels comfortable for me,” Alxndr told Georgia Voice. “I wouldn’t want to go to somebody who prefers ‘she’ and ‘her’ and call her ‘he.’ It’s just generally about respect and respecting peoples’ boundaries and how they feel comfortable.”

The feminist fight for ‘Ms.’ The rise of gender-neutral pronouns in common everyday conversation isn’t the only language shift to occur that centered around equal rights in the United States.

In 1961, 22-year-old civil rights worker Sheila Michaels spotted the noun “Ms.” on a piece of mail her roommate received. Hating to have her identity defined by marriage, Michaels began a mission to add the title to the lexicon as an alternative to “Miss” and “Mrs.” Her work didn’t pay off until she appeared on a progressive New York radio station with other feminists nearly a decade later. Her plea for the honorific came as preparations were underway to commemorate the 50th anniversary of women’s suffrage in the United States. Feminist icon Gloria Steinem gave her stamp of approval, and later in 1971 co-founded Ms. Magazine, which remains in

Atlanta resident Taylor Alxndr, 22, says many people react with anger when they correct them for not using their proper pronoun. (Courtesy photo)

“I wouldn’t want to go to somebody who prefers ‘she’ and ‘her’ and call her ‘he.’ It’s just generally about respect and respecting peoples’ boundaries and how they feel comfortable.”

—Taylor Alxndr, who identifies as agender and uses they/them/their pronouns publication to this day. It took some longer than others to embrace the honorific, with the New York Times waiting until 1986 to employ it, but it stuck.

The grammar police and mainstream media react Gender-neutral pronouns are part of the next conversation about language and equal rights, nearly 50 years after the fight for “Ms.” began. A common complaint from those new to gender-neutral pronouns relates to grammar—how can someone use “they” to refer to a single person, they ask.

“That whole ideology is kind of incorrect in itself,” Alxndr says of people who objected to the usage on grammatical grounds. “It was a lot of anger about not understand-

ing why they had to use they/them/their.

A lot of people didn’t understand that they couldn’t just decide what they wanted to call me. I was like, well you can learn all these different words and terminologies with social media and stuff, why can’t you just learn they/them/their?”

But the grammar police have slowly backed off. The Washington Post has taken the lead on the issue among major media publications, announcing in a December memo to staffers that it would begin allowing employees to use they/them/their as a singular pronoun in their coverage.

“It is usually possible, and preferable, to recast sentences as plural to avoid both the sexist and antiquated universal default to male pronouns and the awkward use of he or she,

‘Use’ or ‘prefer’?

A subconversation about people who use they/them/their pronouns is another language issue—do they “use” or “prefer” they/ them/their pronouns?

“I think there’s been a gradual shift from people that use ‘prefer’ instead of ‘use,’” Alxndr says. “I know a good few years ago everybody was using ‘prefer’ but now I feel like the majority of people are using ‘use’ because when people say I ‘prefer’ these pronouns, it has this implication that people have a choice in not using those pronouns.”

Alxndr’s sentiments echo those of most people we spoke to about the topic, which recalls the debate in recent years over whether to use the term “sexual preference” or “sexual orientation.” To say lesbian, gay or bisexual people “prefer” to be that way indicates it’s a choice, therefore “sexual orientation” is the more widely accepted term.

Gender-neutral pronouns will continue to be a topic of discussion when it comes to transgender rights as more people come out all along the gender spectrum.

“I even have trans friends who still slip up and call me ‘he,’ but they recognize that it’s just something they have to work on,” Alxndr says. “You don’t expect people to automatically use every single terminology correctly but we do expect people to just generally respect us and if you do slip up, say ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that’ and carry on with the right pronoun.”

6 News January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Winnheer of T ize r P r e z PuliT

One of the most provocative conversation starters on religion and identity in American theater today.

f o r Dr A

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D r A W A y Ton e nominePl Ay

f or Be S

Winner of the 2013 Pulitzer Prize for Drama and a 2015 Tony Award nominee for Best Play, Disgraced tells the story of Amir Kapoor, a successful lawyer who is rapidly moving up the corporate ladder while distancing himself from his Muslim roots.

Cultures collide and a friendly dinner conversation quickly explodes into something far deeper and more dangerous.

T

By AyAd AhktAr DirecteD By SuSAn V. Booth

Jan. 27–Feb. 14, 2016

tickets @ 404.733.5000 // Groups 404.733.4690 alliancetheatre.org/disgraced

Series on the Alliance Stage Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs

$ 20 s a w o l s Tickets a

GEORGIANEWS

New civil rights center CEO talks LGBT rights Uganda native Derreck Kayongo takes the helm, discusses his hopes and faith

“homosexual behavior,” among other things.

So does Kayongo believe being gay is a sin?

“Absolutely not,” he says. “I don’t equivocate about those things because when I start to look at different kinds of sins, that’s kind of an endless journey. I will let the theological minds think about sin and what it is.”

And as far as the Messiah controversy goes, he says, “I think institutions are different from individuals, and institutions have to protect a particular doctrine that they’ve been subscribing to for a long time. Individuals sort of evolve out of those doctrines faster than institutions. You can mention that about any institution. The Catholic Church, President Obama also evolved. We evolve.”

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com Derreck Kayongo is at ease. The newly named CEO of the National Center for Civil and Human Rights glides through the organization’s administrative offices at the American Cancer Society building downtown, greeting his new co-workers and cracking jokes along the way to his corner office.

He’s 6-foot-3-inches tall and slender, with a wide, open smile and a perpetual twinkle in his eyes. But there’s one major takeaway appearance-wise: dude has fashion sense.

Today it’s dressy jeans, a sport coat, long multi-colored scarf, elaborately patterned tie and a pink and white pocket square.

Which makes it all the more surprising when you find out Kayongo’s background. He’s a Ugandan refugee who fled the country with his family at age 10, escaping a civil war and settling in Kenya. He eventually landed in the United States, gaining major notice for founding the Global Soap Project in 2009—a project that takes partially used bars of soap from hotels and recycles them into new soap to redistribute to vulnerable populations across the world.

But what to make of the man who hails from a country that most of Atlanta’s LGBT community knows as the one that almost passed a “kill the gays” bill last year? There’s support in place at the Center for the LGBT community, especially with the formation of the LGBT Institute. The question is where that conversation goes with Kayongo in charge.

Center’s new CEO on Uganda, understanding LGBT people Kayongo, who lives with his wife in Atlanta, admits he didn’t know anything about the LGBT community when he first moved here in 2000 to head up the Quaker social justice organization, American Friends Service Committee.

“I didn’t understand what that was. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender—I didn’t know what those characteristics were, or

Derreck Kayongo was named CEO of the National Center for Civil and Human Rights in December. (Photo by Patrick Saunders)

“All I can say is that for a country that is very familiar with oppressions of all kinds, how do you turn around and then say you’re going to give a life sentence to somebody because of their being? Anytime you don’t have enough evidence of your conclusions, don’t go to the extreme of judgment or of antipathy.”

—Derreck Kayongo on his native Uganda and its ‘kill the gays’ bill what those silos represented because I had not been exposed to it,” he says. “And I think that the word here is ‘exposure.’ That if we expose you to new knowledge, that you evolve based on that new knowledge.”

He later became regional director of Amnesty International then landed at humanitarian relief agency CARE for a decade, making for a résumé strong on human rights, and he doesn’t shy away when asked about notoriously anti-LGBT Uganda.

“All I can say is that for a country that is very familiar with oppressions of all kinds, how do you turn around and then say you’re going to give a life sentence to somebody because of their being?” he says of his home

country. “Anytime you don’t have enough evidence of your conclusions, don’t go to the extreme of judgment or of antipathy. A healthy dialogue is good but don’t jump to extremes.”

Kayongo says he plans to be a voice that speaks out against that work.

A background in faith Kayongo has a strong faith background, getting his undergraduate degree from private Christian school Messiah College in Pennsylvania and later serving as an adjunct professor at Beulah Heights University, an Atlanta Bible college. Messiah has made headlines over the years for its “Community Covenant,” a document students are required to sign that bans

‘I want people … to own this building’ The Center’s new CEO says that while they don’t take a particular stand on everything, they do believe in certain rights.

“Our job at the Center is to be a convener of understanding and accommodation because once we draw lines and we say ‘You are the other’ then crimes are going to happen and you’re going to enable people that don’t even belong to your moral value because they don’t know better,” he says. “We are very cognizant of [the LGBT community’s] presence and their rights, and the space that they’re talking about is very, very equal to the other rights we are fighting for.”

The next LGBT event on the Center’s calendar is a panel discussion on human trafficking and LGBT youth set for Jan. 12, the day after an LGBT Atlanta history exhibit that debuted last fall will be taken down.

“I want people like yourselves to challenge the state, to own this building. And when I say the building I mean all the work that it represents, all the things that we can do together to make corporate America better, to make religious institutions better, to make schools better,” Kayongo says, wrapping up the discussion by tying everything into the broader topic of human rights.

“For me, my vibrance, my very fabric, my passion is around ‘Did you, after you came through your scruples and your agnostic or believing thoughts, did you end up saying at the end of the day, they are my fellow human being?”

8 News January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

NEWSBRIEFS Georgia lawmakers striking back against same-sex marriage ruling State Senator Greg Kirk (R-Americus) has officially become the face of Georgia’s opposition to same-sex marriage, as the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (AJC) reports that the former Southern Baptist pastor plans to introduce legislation that would protect businesses and public employees who object to marriage equality on religious grounds.

“The legislation has yet to be filed with the clerk of the Senate,” wrote the AJC on Dec. 31. “Reached by phone in Americus, Senator Kirk said his measure was still being tweaked, but he confirmed that one aim would be to protect local and state employees with religious objections to gay marriage.”

The bill is basically a state version of the First Amendment Defense Act, a proposed federal measure that was introduced in June

by Republican U.S. senators Mike Lee of Utah and Paul Labrador of Idaho. Local LGBT leaders are obviously not amused.

“That sounds like it would be legislation specifically designed to target the LGBT community,” Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality told the AJC. “That would be of great concern to me.”

And Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle, who’s been throwing red meat to evangelicals by touting his opposition to same-sex marriage in recent fundraising efforts in the run-up to his bid for governor in 2018, appears to be on board with it.

“We have received a copy of this legislation and are currently reviewing it in preparation for the upcoming session,” Lt. Gov. Cagle’s policy aide Irene Munn told the AJC. “Any legislation seeking to protect First Amendment freedoms deserves careful consideration and thoughtful debate. The lieutenant governor will work, in his role as presiding officer, to ensure that occurs.”

This all comes as the March 1 Republican presidential primary approaches, smack dab in the middle of the next legislative session. In other words, expect comments from Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and the other Republican candidates on this and other socalled “religious freedom” legislation as they stump across the state in the coming months.

Atlanta gay couple place second in Generation Tux wedding contest Alexander Eisele and Michael Westbrook were vying to become Generation Tux’s “First couple of 2016” to be married on New Year’s www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Sen. Greg Kirk (R-Americus) is the latest politician to propose harmful anti-gay legislation.

(Official photo)

Eve in Times Square, but after all the votes were cast, a straight couple from Florida walked away with the title and a weeklong honeymoon at Moon Palace & Golf Resort in Cancun, Mexico. However, Eisele and Westbrook’s inclusion in this national contest and their decade-long love story is its own reward, and signifies American progress towards acceptance of marriage equality.

According to the AJC, the couple met on the dance floor at the Heretic in 2007.

“Through their love of music and each other, Alexander and Michael have stood the test of time and come out stronger than ever,” said their Generation Tux biography.

“Having fallen in love over ten years ago, and making it through some of life’s difficult situations, they always knew they wanted to be at each other’s side through thick and thin.

Ready to take the next step once marriage was declared legal for all, a surprise proposal at an Atlanta Pride event was just the first big step in this love story of epic proportions.”

ATL native takes on desire, racism in ‘No Fats, No Femmes’ documentary Any gay man who has ever used a dating or hookup app is familiar with the term “No fats, no femmes.” It’s the brutal, dismissive line one will occasionally find on someone’s profile, and many take it a step further by tacking on “No Asians, no blacks.”

Filmmaker Jamal T. Lewis, an Atlanta native who graduated from Morehouse in 2014 and now lives in Brooklyn, aims to

explore the issue in his upcoming documentary, “No Fats, No Femmes.”

“What motivated me most was the opportunity to amplify the voices and narratives of black and brown fat, femme, gender nonconforming, trans, and disabled folk, the opportunity to bring light to a subject that has been deliberately silenced for years,” Lewis tells Georgia Voice of the film, which he plans on releasing by summer 2017.

Lewis has started an Indiegogo campaign and has raised over $15,000 of a $20,000 goal at press time.

Florida LGBT publication undergoes ownership change Tom Dyer, founder of Watermark, a Florida LGBT biweekly newspaper, has sold the publication to his longtime publisher and associate Rick Claggett, effective Jan. 1, 2016.

Dyer founded Watermark in Orlando in 1994 with $20,000 borrowed from friends.

He expanded to Tampa Bay the following year, tripling the publication’s size. Up to 20,000 of the newspapers are now distributed every Thursday at more than 500 locations in Orlando, Tampa Bay, Sarasota and throughout the state.

In the current “Year in Review” issue of Watermark, Dyer talks about his motivation behind making the paper succeed, writing, “I grew up believing that a gay ‘lifestyle’ involved shadowy bars, transient relationships and guilty sex. I wanted it to be more. Watermark would be my proof.”

January 8, 2016 News 9

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Mind and body with Kayt Wolfe Atlanta personal fitness coach shares her journey and health plan that has produced amazing results

By SHANNON HAMES A new year always brings new resolutions.

Without fail, many of those resolutions are centered on weight loss and physical fitness.

Enter Kayt Wolfe, personal fitness coach. With a passion for fitness born from her own personal transformation, Kayt now runs an online personal training business that has many Atlantans thrilled with their results. The Georgia Voice caught up with Kayt to find out about her personal journey, her hottest fitness tips and the role of the mind in fitness.

What motivated you to become a fitness coach?

Like many people, my passion came from my own personal experience. Most people find it hard to believe when I tell them I was nearly 60 pounds heavier than I am now, or that I was a pack a day smoker and took no exercise whatsoever. They just assume I’ve always been healthy.

I felt terrible, both physically and emotionally. I kept using food and cigarettes when things got difficult, but eventually I got sick of making excuses for myself, and more importantly, I was sick of feeling bad.

I finally kicked the habit and started losing weight, but I still didn’t feel very good.

The thing that really got my attention was when I started falling asleep at the wheel of my car ... in broad daylight! My blood sugar was all over the place, which was no surprise given that most of my diet consisted of fast and processed foods.

I had convinced myself that I couldn’t cook, that it was beyond me. The reality is that most of us don’t come out of the womb knowing how to cook and prepare meals. We have to learn, just like everything else, so I bought some cookbooks and found a new passion in life.

That decision changed everything. Eating healthier made me feel so much better. I took up running, now that I had more energy, and

“If your mentality is one of ‘I can’t,’ then that’s accurate. Or if they’re holding on to old beliefs that they can’t stick to a regular exercise routine or someone in their past told them that they would never lose weight, they hold on to that.

I work to shift those beliefs.”

—Kayt Wolfe went on to lose the rest of the weight. Becoming a health and fitness coach sprang from those experiences. I wanted to help others transform their health and their lives, and in less time.

What do you see as the biggest barrier to people getting and staying physically fit?

I would say time is one of the biggest barriers. There is still this misconception that you have to spend 40–90 minutes at the gym several times a week, and that’s pretty intimidating for most people—especially if they haven’t been doing anything for a while.

The idea of short burst intensity training of 20 minutes is finally catching on.

What causes people to be so off track to begin with?

I think there’s a short-term mentality around health for a lot of people. They think, I’ll be lax during the holidays and then “I’ll just go on a diet.” I teach more of a lifestyle approach to health rather than the quick fix.

How much of a role does the mind play in a healthy lifestyle?

The mind is very powerful. If people go into their health with a “quick fix” mentality, it’s very difficult for them to hold on to a true long-term healthy lifestyle because they’re always swinging back and forth between a total blowout and then

Kayt Wolfe (Photo by Rob Boeger)

trying to recover from the damage they did.

Belief systems about oneself also play a major role in health. If your mentality is one of “I can’t,” then that’s accurate. Or if they’re holding on to old beliefs that they can’t stick to a regular exercise routine or someone in their past told them that they would never lose weight, they hold on to that. I work to shift those beliefs.

We are always being bombarded with so much information. The first thing that has to happen for someone to make a shift is to create a consciousness of what they’re doing on a day-to-day basis. I have my clients keep a food, exercise and thought journal.

I want to help people create a new vision of themselves and spend a few minutes each day thinking about that. Instead of thinking about what they want to try to get rid of, I want them to look at what they want to create. Just a few

minutes a day can be enough to really make the changes that people want to see.

What tips can you share with our readers for maintaining a healthy lifestyle?

First, you need to create a strong vision of what you truly want. This is called your ‘why’ and it will keep you going when things feel challenging. Next, build an action plan for success. Start small, and gradually add more into your plan so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Lastly, envision the life you want daily. Then spend 3–5 minutes at the beginning of each day focusing on what you want your life to look like, today, and a few years down the road.

I’ll be offering a free training series that will cover a lot of this, and much more. Any of your readers who are interested can go to my website at www.healthybodyblueprint.com.

10 Resolutions January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Talkin’ ‘bout your resolutions Georgia Voice readers sound off about their 2016 goals and how they plan to achieve them Lamont Scales I enjoy setting resolutions for the New Year, because we all have areas of self-improvement.

As the owner of a matchmaking service for gay men in Atlanta, “Better Way to Meet,” I have had the pleasure of seeing men fall in love as a result of their continued self-improvement. In 2016, I am determined to help single men be their best selves, so that they can find the man of their dreams.

Tia Ri’nae Garrett My New Year’s resolution is to be more spiritually and physically keen, thus every year I engage in a cleansing fast that consists of abstaining from meats/flesh as well as only organic fruits, vegetables, grains and herbs. I believe we should all strive to live our best life the full year!

Rich Eldredge, Editor-in-Chief, Eldredge ATL My resolution is to track developments in the latest push to pass an alleged religious freedom bill in Georgia without anti-discrimination protections. I’ll be sharing Georgia Voice’s news updates and using my social media accounts to spotlight the lawmakers and businesses in Georgia too dense to heed the 2015 economic lessons of Indiana.

If you choose to support discrimination www.thegeorgiavoice.com

in Georgia, you don’t deserve an inch of political cover.

Alejandro Lopez My New Year’s resolution is to share more about my background as a gay Latino living with HIV; it is not as challenging as it may seem and I’d like to share my testimony. In 2016, I will work to bridge the gap between the mainstream LGBT community and the Latino LGBT communities. We can accomplish so much more united. My favorite quote: “Best Way To Predict The Future Is To Create It.”

istock photo

Van Le My New Year’s resolutions include: doing more cardio and diversifying my workouts, eating less pizza and working on my road rage!

Philip Rafshoon I recently tripped and dislocated my shoulder while on a run. I’m recovering quickly but it cramped my style for a bit. So my resolution is to do everything I can to end up stronger than before. And as I get there, I plan to spend more time with family and friends, donate more time to community organizations I care about and encourage people to get out and vote.

Silverline Okoroh In the year 2016, I plan to continue to educate black women on hair care and beauty through my YouTube channel, “Silverline’s Beauty Playbook” as well as learn a new language with the help of Rosetta Stone. Also, getting my body in the best possible shape is also on my to-do-list.

Randi Ashley Jackson This year I will take the plunge and final-

ly get my own business off the ground.

I’ve worked so hard trying to achieve success as others see it. This year I will work towards my own dreams. Life is too short to not experiment. I will not fear the opinions of others. I will not conform to what’s expected of me. Instead, I will do what makes my heart sing. My mantra for 2016 is “Be Brave!”

Dr. David Malebranche My resolution is to appreciate and acknowledge that everyone is dealing with something in their lives even when they don’t say it. I want to be quicker

in recognizing this instead of taking things personally.

Stacie Gawrysiak I want to enjoy the outdoors more often and also take care of myself better.

Sebastian Nix My New Year’s resolution is to be more present. Not only is it a reminder to be more aware in the moment, but it also serves as a recommitment to my role as an advocate and activist. One of the easiest ways to contribute to creating change is to simply show up whenever possible. So this year I want to be more present and demonstrate my solidarity by attending more rallies, workshops, and fundraisers.

Marla Alcott My New Year’s resolution is to get more organized so I can find things. Yes, like everyone I want to get in shape, but my focus is to get more organized so my girlfriend doesn’t bitch at me. I tend to lose important things, like my engagement ring, my wallet, and more. So, I am getting organized in 2016!

January 8, 2016 Resolutions 11

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Mastering mindfulness in the New Year Life coach and food critic Cliff Bostock emphasizes mind power as a tool for achieving fitness goals

By CLIFF BOSTOCK I am, seriously, writing this on New Year’s Day at the Ansley Starbucks. My gym bag is at my feet. I’m revving up with a triple-shot macchiato before heading to the gym to transform myself into the godlike creature that every gay man desires with every inch of his penis. But first I need to eat the 420-calorie cinnamon-crunch bagel I swore I wouldn’t buy. But, hey, I deserve it. I ate a salad for lunch.

So go most New Year’s resolutions. Is there a remedy? Yes, definitely, and it should itself be everyone’s first resolution. Is it easy?

Hell no, but it is immensely rewarding. It’s “mindfulness.” This practice, as old as Buddhism, is the reason I returned to school to get master’s and doctoral degrees in psychology. Learning mindfulness was among the most life-changing things I’d ever done for myself, and I wanted to share it with clients.

Back then, it was considered woo-woo and New Agey, but it’s become integral in almost all forms of psychotherapy and coaching.

In theory, it’s very simple. You learn to bring nonjudgmental attention to your thoughts, instead of trying to instantly banish or hold onto them. Then, they soon float away on their own. You don’t have to act on them. This is paradoxical, but we all know that the more we fight temptation, the stronger it becomes. Mindfulness sabotages that.

This practice is especially difficult for many Americans. In Buddhist thought, desire is the root of all suffering. We live in a time when exactly the opposite is believed.

Consumerism is our religion. We feel that the more we acquire, the better we are. Stepping away from that is literally inconsistent with the capitalist delusion that we can all have everything.

Now, many people already have the experience of mindfulness in certain areas of their lives. Consider the gym. Health and

“I set my phone alarm for 2 p.m. every day.

When it sounds, no matter what I’m doing, I focus on at least five breaths.

It’s amazingly helpful.”

—Cliff Bostock appearance probably most motivate the resolution to join one, but I believe mindfulness keeps people coming back, whether they realize it or not. When you are lifting a weight or running, your attention is on that very moment. We enter a timeless, pleasurable state called “the zone” or “flow.”

As study after study has shown, exercise is significantly more effective at reducing depression and anxiety than pharmaceuticals.

And mindfulness is one reason why.

Taking the first step Encouraging clients to begin a challenging program of exercise is almost always my first advice. I’m well aware that depression makes taking that step very difficult. I’ve even taken a few clients to the gym so we can talk about their feelings and thoughts as they work out. But the truth is that the client must summon the motivation to take this step, being aware that it is natural to resist the change—like my (not) giving up pastry.

The most direct way of learning mindfulness is to learn meditation. That was my experience when I enrolled in classes at the Shambhala Meditation Center (atlanta. shambhala.org). It’s not a cult, believe me, and you can participate at any level you want. It’s just helpful to have other people around when you’re learning the practice. If

The most direct way of learning mindfulness is to learn meditation. (iStock photo)

you’re not the type to sit still and focus in total silence, you can try walking meditation, tai chi, or yoga. I set my phone alarm for 2 p.m. every day. When it sounds, no matter what I’m doing, I focus on at least five breaths. It’s amazingly helpful.

History of making resolutions Finally, consider what history has to say. The habit of making resolutions began thousands of years ago. Babylonians and Romans were required to annually pledge allegiance to their emperor and promise the gods they’d make amends for hurting others. The latter is inspiring. Years ago, a

severely overweight couple came to see me to help them begin eating healthier. My prescription? I insisted they volunteer at a food kitchen for the homeless. They started losing weight immediately. When we help relieve the suffering of others, we become much more compassionate with ourselves.

So, three resolutions: Learn the practice of mindfulness, start exercising, and find a way to actively relieve the suffering of others.

Cliff Bostock, PhD, is a longtime Atlanta food critic and former psychotherapist who now practices life coaching for creative types; 404-518-4415.

12 Resolutions January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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14 Outspoken January 8, 2016

In 2016, resolve to be less racist

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com I’m outspoken, but not as much as people believe. To be honest, I’m much more comfortable expressing myself through the written word than I am in situations where people have certain expectations about who I am before I even open my mouth to speak.

Yet, I can’t fully relate to the fear that most people have of public speaking and I’m still working to understand the disappointment some people feel when the “angry” and “defiant” “media activist” they expect is more quiet and observant in public settings. As a rule, I speak up only when I feel I have something meaningful to contribute to a conversation or a cause.

For instance, this is at least my third attempt at writing this editorial. It was originally supposed to be published in the last issue of 2015, but it wasn’t ready. The content was superficial, and if it didn’t resonate with me at my core, then I’m almost certain it wouldn’t have resonated with you.

And then on December 28, 2015, I learned that Timothy Loehmann, the Cleveland, Ohio officer who pulled the trigger on the gun that ended the life of 12-year-old Tamir Rice, would not be indicted for his crime. I instantly became numb.

Here’s a heads-up: This is not a feel good editorial to get you pumped about your New Year’s resolutions and inevitable trip to the nearest gym to finally shed that extra weight you’ve been telling yourself and anyone who

will listen that you’re going to lose. We’ve dedicated other pages in this issue to that.

This editorial is about a conversation we need to have as human beings and as a community.

As the popular social media hashtag #Leaveitin2015 suggests, with some all too common inequalities, we need to do just that.

The daily injustices faced by people of color in this country must no longer be ignored by people of privilege, who never have to wonder whether a routine police stop will result in their last moments; or whether a little boy playing with a toy gun in a neighborhood park like millions of his peers is taking a chance with his life if he’s the wrong color.

You’re probably asking yourself how this issue affects the LGBT community, or whether it’s even appropriate to be discussed in the pages of Georgia Voice. Or maybe this is your greatest fear realized about the appointment of an African-American editor to a publication you’ve come to expect to reflect only your issues and concerns. Trust me, I understand.

This is not a comfortable discussion to have, but it’s a coming-out of sorts that we must address with the same vigor as we do our own personal admissions. I also understand that there are people of color who identify as LGBT and live with the real fear of becoming the next Tamir Rice or Laquan McDonald or Trayvon Martin or Renisha McBride or Jordan Davis or Mike Brown; I’m one of them.

Our shiny suits, fancy degrees, and sexual orientation will not save us. These are not just black issues. These are people issues. We’re all affected; even those of us who willfully turn

a blind eye as more black lives are prematurely stolen or more survivors speak out about structural racism and police brutality, only to be rebuffed by claims of “he deserved it,” or “he should have just complied with police orders,” or “he shouldn’t have worn a hoodie,” as if any of these things guaranteed our safety.

I fear that many of us in the LGBT community believe the war was won on June 26, 2015, when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. Empire State Pride Agenda, a long-standing New York LGBT organization, all but said so when it decided to conclude major operations and transfer its policy work to partner organizations in 2016.

Nevermind an ongoing HIV/AIDS crisis, the lack of LGBT employment protections, a rash of transgender murders, racism, police brutality and an LGBT youth homeless crisis, all of which affect the most vulnerable within our community. Make no mistake about it: the war has not been won. Sen. Josh McKoon (R-Columbus) is days away from reminding us how pissed off the opposition is that their culture war and decades-long crusade to silence LGBT folks and push us into the periphery has failed.

Don’t allow yourself to become McKoon in 2016, blind to your own privilege and actively working to oppress others, whether it’s through legislation, hateful rhetoric or complicit silence in the face of injustice. The onus shouldn’t just fall on the oppressed to dismantle structural racism and a corrupt criminal justice system. This is your fight too.

None of us are free until we’re all free. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

OUT IN THE WILD

By Simon Williamson

Being polite in shitty company Simon Williamson lives with his husband in heteronormatively-assimilative fashion in Athens, after a year of surviving rural Georgia.

South Africa, whence I hail, and whence I write this, is a fairly bizarre place. It largely parallels the American South in many key ways, but the repair job is much newer, the anger more raw, and the wounds less cauterized.

I use the word bizarre because in white South African circles, it is impolite to attack racism, because its ideas are so commonplace.

In any given group of white South Africans in 2015, most members will have spent their formative years under apartheid, or before the constitution took effect in 1997. And those years were some of the most complicated in the lives of white South Africans, where entrenched racial privilege was dismantled (justifiably: less than 9 percent of the South African population is white), and a group of people who thought their way of living was normal

“They have been able to raise 40,000 bucks to badly paint some crosswalks, but a homeless shelter for queer and trans youth hasn’t been able to make half of that. Oh, and racism and sexism are rampant despite those ugly equal signs being pasted everywhere.”

I am used to carrying the burden of an intersectional existence, but as 2015 came to a close, it became heavier. In October, I was planning an action with my friends for Atlanta Pride for weeks, and when that plan became a reality, we marched, chanted and twerked through the streets to disturb GayTL’s superficial peace. While I was letting my dyke flag fly, black people across the country were traveling to Washington D.C. for Justice or Else, the reboot of the Million Man March that occurred 20 years ago. I was excited about my work for Pride, but part of my heart wanted me to be in Washington D.C. among that sea of brown skin.

I felt guilty for not making an effort to get to Washington. Black women are taught from childhood that we must make sacrifices www.thegeorgiavoice.com

clung to the idea that any functioning society must resemble what they were used to.

Naturally, privileged people began to find targets for apparent societal failings, which, over time, made it perfectly acceptable in white South African circles, including liberal ones, to espouse outwardly racist sentiments.

This was different from apartheid, during which liberals could abhor the system while reaping its benefits. Racism is socially acceptable in many white circles (#NotAllWhitePeople), so long as you don’t use slurs.

So why the lengthy introduction to this column?

Because it is incredibly important we don’t become these people.

We have entered an age where my demographic, white gay men in urban envi-

ronments, hold more privilege than in days past, and it means we have more conversations about LGBT things in non-LGBT company, from “why do you guys have to get married?” to “which one is the girl?” to “why do you have to be so gay in public,” to “when did you get your gay voice?” None of this nonsense should ever be given a free pass—when we stop picking away at it, we make these ideas acceptable in polite company, which in turn means that we’re being rude for standing up for ourselves.

And it applies too when we spend time with our own people. From “no fats, no femmes” to “I just don’t find black people attractive” to transphobia, we should reject this sort of talk at every opportunity. The less we fight back against intolerance in our own

“It is about time we stop allowing ridiculous ideas about masculinity to pervade our way of living, or let others’ religious qualms override our own ideas about relationships and parenting without pushing back, whether it be rude to do so in company or not.” community, the harder it will become to do so one day in the future. It is about time we stop allowing ridiculous ideas about masculinity to pervade our way of living, or let others’ religious qualms override our own ideas about relationships and parenting without pushing back, whether it be rude to do so in company or not.

It is much easier to write pissy columns about strangers saying stupid things, which results in very little pushback. But we shouldn’t renounce the right to point out specific instances of anti-LGBT stereotypes, or push back against homophobia because of some “good manners” diktat.

I have seen with my own eyes how polite company has declared some pretty awful things to be socially acceptable.

IN THE MARGINS

By Ashleigh Atwell

A dream deferred: Repeating the good and bad Ashleigh Atwell is a queer lesbian writer and organizer born and raised in Atlanta, GA. to ensure the well-being of the black community regardless of our own needs and desires.

Black men have no qualms about excluding black women (and other black non-male folks) from their activism. Hundreds of thousands of black people, regardless of identity, marched for Mike Brown, Eric Garner and Trayvon Martin. #Blacklivesmatter was started by three queer black women and the community still overwhelmingly focused on men so #sayhername and #transliberationtuesday had to happen. I went to rallies around both hashtags and black men were few in number. I saw more white people at #transliberationtuesday than black men and that troubled me greatly, yet I felt terrible for missing the bus to Washington D.C. Often, I wonder if there are black men out there who feel this same guilt and conflict when

they miss a rally or action dedicated to the rest of the black community. My heart wants to believe there are, but my experiences tell me otherwise. There are black men doing and saying the right things; however, I challenge them to call in other brothers. I don’t mind there being efforts dedicated solely to black men, because they experience a special type of oppression, but they have to show up for the rest of us, too. Black women almost always show up when called.

We’ve planned many of the actions that revolve around getting black men civil rights. I need black men to make the same effort.

On the flip side, I am certain many white gays don’t care about my queer black ass as long as they’re able to marry and adopt ethnic babies. Meanwhile, people are still dying because of who they are, whether by their

own hands or by someone else’s weapon.

They have been able to raise 40,000 bucks to badly paint some crosswalks, but a homeless shelter for queer and trans youth hasn’t been able to make half of that. Oh, and racism and sexism are rampant despite those ugly equal signs being pasted everywhere.

This month, we will be celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. Bayard Rustin, King’s mentor, was closeted and largely left out of history books.

A common George Santayana quote I heard growing up was, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

We must know our ancestors past their achievements and highlight reels. We shouldn’t seek to be them; we should strive to be better than them.

January 8, 2016 Outspoken 15

WORK

IT!

‘The Big Stitch’ Shon Gallegos and husband Rory Moon combine garment, hospitality backgrounds

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com There’s a new player in Atlanta’s embroidery business, and they come not-so-straight out of the city’s LGBT community.

The Big Stitch Atlanta is the brainchild of Shon Gallegos, a veteran of the city’s garment industry who last fall decided to break out into his own business for the first time.

Along with him for the ride is his husband, co-owner Rory Moon, an Atlanta native who has worked in the city’s hospitality industry for over 15 years.

The Big Stitch can handle everything from corporate apparel and uniform needs to personal monogramming, sports uniforms, screen printing and 3D embroidery. Gallegos and Moon stepped away from the needle and thread one recent afternoon to talk to Georgia Voice about their new venture.

Georgia Voice: When did you start The Big Stitch?

Moon: Shon had expressed that he wanted to open a business back in mid-summer and we kind of started from there. We opened the business officially in August of this year and have been moving along since then.

Shon, what’s your background in the garment industry?

Gallegos: I have been in the embroidery industry for almost 20 years working for a big company in Atlanta, so I’ve learned a lot about the customer and the product and the quality of the embroidery.

What motivated you to want to start your own business?

Gallegos: I’m not pleased in the way

“A lot of the problem in this business is that it’s so impersonal that you never really even talk to the people that are doing the work or are even selling the work.

So we’re trying to build a local business and work within the community and really give quality service to people.”

—The Big Stitch co-owner Rory Moon

Details

The Big Stitch Atlanta 404-680-7124 info@thebigstitchatlanta.com www.thebigstitchatl.com other companies treat their customers. They don’t explain to them what the product is. So one of my goals is to explain to the customer how embroidery works and give them some tips because I feel capable enough to do it.

Rory, what’s your role in the company?

Moon: I’ve been the initial investor in the business but also I’m doing marketing as well as heading up the larger sales that we do with most of our business clients. Shon’s doing a lot of that now as well.

What kind of orders have you typically been getting?

Moon: We’re doing really across the board now a lot of custom monogramming for smaller business clients. That’s what we’re marketing towards is small business and local. We really want to stay local and kind of build up from a really solid foundation with the customers that we have and just provide really good customer service as well as a quality product.

Shon Gallegos (l) and his husband Rory Moon (r) started The Big Stitch last August.

(Courtesy photo)

A lot of the problem in this business is that it’s so impersonal that you never really even talk to the people that are doing the work or are even selling the work. So we’re trying to build a local business and work within the community and really give quality service to people.

The majority of everything that we’re doing is small sale collateral for companies, like uniform garments, corporate apparel, shirts that would have your logo and your name on it for employees, that’s the majority of it. We’ll do one-offs and custom work. We’ve done a lot of stuff for weddings like monogrammed napkins, everything you can think of.

Has there been an order that was particularly challenging either creatively or because of the size?

Moon: We can handle the volume, but I think that the challenge is like for any other small business that’s starting up—capturing the client, finding where your market is at and your niche is at and bringing those people in. We’ve been lucky, we’ve really had a lot of responses from the marketing we’ve done and we’ve kept our head above water so obviously we want to stay on that trajectory.

The challenge is getting the right people in that aren’t looking for the best bargain in town, they’re looking for quality product.

That’s what we’re doing is selling quality and selling good service and letting people know that we’re actually doing the work and overseeing the work being done.

We’re certainly trying to stay competitive with prices, but we’re in a market where often people will undersell you and I think that happens across the board. We’re selling a quality product and we want to make sure that everyone comes back to us and that they’re happy with what we’re doing.

Would you want to open your own physical space of The Big Stitch at some point?

Moon: We have a small sew shop here in town but we do want to branch out and get a small retail space where we can show the actual process of what’s goes on. The sew shop is just in a kind of scary location and we’d rather not have people there, so we want to get to a point where we can showcase what we’re doing and clients can come in and see what we’re working on. So that’s our next step, and really just building a solid foundation in the Atlanta business community.

16 Community January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Healthalert

By MARK S. KING

Why I wiped HIV off my face Some years ago, I told someone that I was HIV positive before I agreed to his invitation for a date. “Yeah, I know,” he casually replied, and then he looked a little embarrassed, as if he shouldn’t have said it. It was too late, of course; I knew exactly what he meant. He could tell my HIV status by my face.

I had The Look. The sunken, wasted cheeks of someone living with HIV. It became a common manifestation in the 1980s and persisted until the medications that caused the condition, known as facial lipoatrophy, were changed or abandoned for better treatments.

Today, facial lipoatrophy is almost exclusively limited to long-term HIV survivors who used medications like d4T and DDI more than 20 years ago.

I’m one of those long-term survivors.

When my symptoms began to appear, it meant that the choice whether to share my status, as an activist or on a personal level, had been taken away. My HIV was written across my face for all to see.

I am proud of my history advocating for and living with HIV. But as uncomfortable as it may be to admit, it’s a lot easier to live openly as a person with HIV when you don’t look like it.

I felt ashamed of my appearance, and then conflicted. For someone who has been fighting so hard to reduce HIV stigma, what was there to be ashamed of, exactly? Many of the physical signs of HIV—from weight loss to fat redistribution to facial wasting—are worn as battle scars, if not badges of honor, by thousands of people living with HIV. My very survival is mirrored in my physicality. What’s wrong with that?

Eventually, I realized that correcting my facial wasting was no different from improving my T cell counts. I wasn’t making a political statement; I was improving my health and well-being.

And so, I began a journey that would include multiple visits to a doctor and thousands of dollars of various “facial filler” products injected into my face. It wasn’t easy trusting a physician with this—my face may have been sagging, but it’s the only one I have—but with some careful research I found an experienced and empathetic specialist.

I chronicled my journey through video blogs that span more than six years (log on to www. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Mark S. King, a longtime HIV survivor, shows off the dramatic change in his appearance due to facial fillers. (Courtesy photos)

“The answer to HIV stigma, of course, is not to wipe away any evidence that we may be living with the virus (beauty may be skin deep, but stigma runs far deeper).” thegavoice.com to view each video blog). They include the treatments available for facial lipoatrophy, information about patient assistance programs for temporary fillers, and the dramatic results of permanent fillers, with plenty of “before and after” footage along the way.

The supportive response to the videos has taught me, once again, that the things about which we may be the most ashamed are the very things that can help someone else, if only we allow ourselves the courage to speak up about them.

The answer to HIV stigma, of course, is not to wipe away any evidence that we may be living with the virus (beauty may be skin deep, but stigma runs far deeper). This has been an exercise in healing for me, and not an effort to escape the realities of my life and my health.

And although no one loves the aging process, mine is tempered by the knowledge that I have survived when many have not.

It is gratitude, nothing more, that is written across my face.

Mark S. King writes the award-winning blog, MyFabulousDisease.com. The former Atlantan can’t bear to give up his 404 area code phone number since moving to Baltimore last year.

January 8, 2016 Health 17

REV

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LGB

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Madonna’s

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AIN M E NT

‘Rebel Heart’ still beating strong The ‘Material Girl’ brings 2015’s highest-grossing tour to Philips Arena

By JOSEPH BROWNELL Be still your rebel hearts, your beleaguered queen arrives next week.

After suffering several setbacks that sentenced the singer to spend much of last year pivoting both professionally and personally, Madonna finally brings her “Rebel Heart Tour” to Philips Arena, Wednesday, Jan. 20.

Marking the icon’s 10th trip around the world, the tour was plagued by production delays when, last May, Madonna regretfully postponed the tour’s first five dates—including Atlanta’s initial September show.

“As my fans already know, the show has to be perfect,” Madonna said in a statement. “Assembling all the elements will require more time than we realized ... I can promise you this show will be worth the wait.”

CONTINUES ON PAGE 19

18 A&E January 8, 2016

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 18 So what has Atlanta been waiting for?

Seems the singer still favors familiar themes of sex and salvation. Reviews of the tour’s first leg reveal that fans should expect poledancing nuns, straddling priests, a simulated Last Supper-like orgy—and a ukulele? After more than 30 years of performing, over 300 million worldwide album sales, and two of the top 20 highest-grossing world tours ever, it seems Madonna might still have a few tricks up her sleeve.

Just before Christmas, after a Glasgow venue pulled the plug on her concert for breaking curfew, Madonna merrily returned to the stage to gift fans with the show’s final song. Backed by thousands of singing fans, Madonna performed a truly unplugged version of her first hit single, “Holiday.”

The singer’s latest era felt destined for doom after an Israeli hacker leaked more than two dozen demos online. A miffed Madonna compared the breach to “artist rape” and “a form of terrorism,” but scrambled to rescue the record’s release by pushing up promotion and partnering with iTunes in a last minute, Hail Mary, Beyoncé-like surprise release of the album’s first six tracks.

Details Madonna’s Rebel Heart

World Tour Jan. 20 Philips Arena Tickets still available ($44–$359) Despite pulling off a rushed mini-release right before the Christmas holiday, the rest of Madonna’s 13th studio album failed to reach the heights of any of her preceding efforts.

It’s the singer’s first record since 1982 for which the lead single (or any single, for that matter) has failed to crack the Billboard Hot 100. Despite missing the mainstream charts, Madonna still made a home atop the Billboard Dance Club Songs chart with all three “Rebel Heart” singles.

The mainstream charts aren’t the only place absent Madonna; she hasn’t had nearly as much radio airplay in this era.

Last year, Madonna accused BBC Radio of ageism after her lead single “Living for Love” was excluded from Radio 1 airplay.

At the time, head of Radio 1 programming George Ergatoudis insisted he was tasked with capturing a younger audience and that “the vast majority of people who like Madonna … are over 30 and frankly, we’ve

Madonna (Publicity photos)

moved on from Madonna.” Instead, they shuffled the song to its sister station, which caters to “older audiences.”

Once again miffed, Madonna spoke out in a revealing Rolling Stone interview, stating, “It’s still the one area where you can totally discriminate against somebody, and

talk shit. Because of their age. Only females, though. Not males. So in that respect we still live in a very sexist society.”

Despite hitting back, the criticism surrounding Madonna’s age continued after the singer tumbled while performing live at the 2015 Brit Awards.

Through a tumultuous year, Madonna has poured herself into this album’s promotion. Trying to harness technology, Madonna reached her most devoted fan base via Grindr to promote Rebel Heart. She also successfully teamed with Snapchat to debut the video for “Living for Love,” but suffered difficulties when premiering the video for second single “Ghosttown” on Meerkat and the star-studded third video, “Bitch, I’m Madonna,” on Tidal.

While Madonna struggles to find her place in the current landscape of pop music, it’s important to note that she’s arguably the movement’s matriarch. Before the rise of sexting, if you wanted someone to see you naked, you published a book—much like Madonna did with 1992’s Sex. Madonna paved the way for the current crop of provocative performers. Without Madonna, there’d be no Britney; no Xtina. So, in at least that way, her Rebel Heart still beats strong.

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January 8, 2016 A&E 19

ACTING OUT Roger Guenveur Smith Rodney King

“Intensely cathartic and moving” –The New York Times

Friday, January 15, 8:00 pm Saturday, January 16, 8:00 pm

Mark Gindick

Wing-Man

“Mark Gindick is a gifted physical comedian… the laughs in “Wing-Man” come fast and furious.” –The Rochester CITY Paper

Wednesday, January 20, 7:30 pm Thursday, January 21, 7:30 pm Friday, January 22, 8:00 pm Saturday, January 23, 8:00 pm

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“The level of engagement in the theatre was intense; the response was overwhelming.”

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Saturday, February 6, 8:00 pm Call now for tickets!

404-894-9600

details and more events at

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By JIM FARMER

David Crowe dishes on ‘Charley’s Aunt,’ his latest theatrical pursuit It debuted almost 125 years ago, yet it still gets produced at theaters around the world. The farce, “Charley’s Aunt,” written by Brandon Thomas, opens this week at Georgia Ensemble Theatre. In it, a pair of Oxford friends pursue two women and— through a comedy of errors—one (played

by Hugh Adams) eventually has to don a skirt, bloomers and a wig and pretend to be a wealthy relative from Brazil. It’s directed by out artist David Crowe, who has turned into one of the busiest and most dependable directors working these days. We caught up with Crowe just before the show opened.

Georgia Voice: How did this gig come up?

It’s one of those plays, it has a reputation. It’s been around forever. Every community theater has done it and every college has done it. It’s a chestnut everyone has heard of. I read it and I loved it. It’s a really interesting, funny play. I cannot believe it was written in (the 1890s). I was in a production of it when I was young but I remember nothing about it. I was high school age.

You have some heavyweights in the cast—Joanna Daniel, Joe Sykes, Rachel Garner and Hugh Adams.

I have to say I have a great cast here. Every single time I go into a rehearsal room I am really glad to be there.

Tell us about your relationship with Georgia Ensemble Theatre.

(Georgia Ensemble Theatre artistic director) Bob Farley had seen a production of “Equus” at Actor’s Express that I directed and asked if I would do a production of “The Elephant Man.” Without hesitation I said yes.

He is a smart man and has been a mentor, kind of a father to me, and has helped me fine-tune my skills as a director. He and his wife Anita have been generous in offering me the chance to direct other plays. If it weren’t for them I would not be directing at all this season.

Most people wouldn’t associate me with this, because the shows I have been most successful in working on have been period dramas, such as “The Elephant Man” and “Equus.” Even “The Judas Kiss” (the Actor’s Express drama about Oscar Wilde) is kind of

Joe Sykes and Rachel Garner (above), and Hugh Adams (below). (Photo by GMooney.com)

Details

‘Charley’s Aunt’ Georgia Ensemble Theatre Roswell Cultural Arts Center, 950 Forrest St., Roswell, GA 30075 Jan. 7–24 www.get.org a costume period piece. “Charley’s Aunt” is big and broad, with people running around, chase scenes and a man in a dress. People don’t associate me with that but I love stuff like that.

What can an LGBT audience get from “Charley’s Aunt?”

The first one is that there’s nothing funnier than a man in drag. There’s something subversive, silly and funny. If you like to laugh you’ll enjoy it. Beyond that, it’s about people willing to break society’s rules in order to get the love they desire, to be with the people they want to be with. That appeals to everybody.

We don’t look at cross-dressing the same way we used to.

We don’t, but this is definitely all about the laughs, the gag of it. It’s not disrespectful at all. It’s about this straight man and what he learns about himself.

20 A&E January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

EATING MY WORDS

By CLIFF BOSTOCK

Eating healthy while dining out: it’s possible So you’ve made the common New Year’s resolution to start eating healthier. But what does that mean? Does it mean you want to eat gluten-free, vegetarian, sugar-free, Paleolithic, or heart-healthy? Maybe you just need to eat less.

The first thing to know is that you are most likely to stick to a healthy diet by cooking at home, where you have control of ingredients. In restaurants, it’s nearly impossible to avoid excessive salts and fats. Further, most restaurants serve oversized portions.

So where to eat and not break the bank?

First, keep this name in mind: David Sweeney. He is by far the city’s best vegetarian cook.

Unfortunately, his groundbreaking restaurant, Dynamic Dish, closed a few years ago. Now, he does pop-up dinners—frequently at Octane in Grant Park. You’ll have to visit his Facebook page or Twitter feed to keep up with him. Believe me, meat eaters will not miss anything.

My favorite cuisine and one of the world’s healthiest is Vietnamese. While their cooking includes meat, it is almost always lean and served in smallish quantities. My favorite is the classic “bun” (rice noodles) typically topped with herbs, bean sprouts, shaved pickled carrots, ground peanuts, lettuce, and the meat of your choice.

Buford Highway is lined with Vietnamese spots, including some that serve pho, a rich broth filled with your choice of ingredients.

My fave is Com (4005 Buford Hwy., 404320-0405). In town, there is Le Fat (404439-9850), So Ba (560 Gresham Ave., 404-627-9911), and Saigon Basil (1870 Piedmont Ave., 404-892-8688), which is fast-casual-style and also serves Thai food.

Thai cuisine is controversial because it makes frequent use of fatty coconut milk, but one of its fatty acids is extremely beneficial for its anti-bacterial and anti-viral properties. We all know where to get the best Thai food in Atlanta: Little Bangkok (2225 Cheshire Bridge Rd., 404-315-1530). In If you want to remain mainstream, one of the best healthy eateries is MetroFresh (931 Monroe Dr., 404-724-0151). The menu is mainly traditional, ranging from salads www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Com’s flat rice Vermicelli Bánh hi (Publicity photo)

and rich soups to fish and meat, but owner Mitchell Anderson rarely lets seasoning overpower ingredients. I do have one complaint: sandwiches are made ahead and wrapped in plastic. They can get soggy.

I know some people shun it, but I’m a regular at Panera Bread (1544 Piedmont Ave., 404-853-3273). I like to go there for a light lunch just before hitting LA Fitness.

I always order the surprisingly sophisticated arugula salad with “ancient” grains and chicken. I get the 210-calorie half-size and it costs under $7. Ask for a sprouted-grain roll instead of the baguette or mealy apple.

The big annoyance here is dressings that are ridiculously sugary. Order it on the side.

Healthy eating has become quite easy in most casual Atlanta restaurants because a menu without such options is going to lose significant business. Even the gay-popular Radial Café (1530 DeKalb Ave., 404-6596594), a classic diner in many respects, offers numerous vegan and gluten-free options.

Finally, a plea. I beg you picky healthy eaters to do us all one favor. Call or check out the website menu of any restaurant before you visit. It’s a widely parodied cliché, but hearing a vegan or gluten-free zealot go nuts at the table really is a huge, embarrassing spectacle. Remember: you want whirled peas, so be peaceful.

Cliff Bostock, PhD, is a longtime Atlanta food critic and former psychotherapist who now specializes in collaborative life coaching (404-518-4415), www.cliffbostock.com.

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T BES BET

Our Guide to the Best LGBT Events in Atlanta for Jan. 8-21

S

LGBT EV

AT L A N

TA

ENTS

TUESDAY, JAN. 12

From the creators of ‘South Park’ comes the Tony-winning, gay-themed musical ‘The Book of Mormon,’ which returns to Atlanta for a two-week run through Jan. 24, with a 7:30 p.m. show tonight, Fox Theatre, www.foxtheatre.org (Publicity photo)

FRIDAY, JAN. 8

It’s not too late to see the annual electrical extravaganza, “Garden Lights,” at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, which features spectacular light displays throughout the complex. New features this year include the massive Tunnel of Light, along with favorites such as the Orchestral Orbs, Glittering Galaxy, Radiant Rainforest and Model Trains that continue to make the exhibition a must-see holiday tradition. Running through Jan. 9 and open nightly from 5–10 p.m., atlantabg.org

EVENT SPOTLIGHT SATURDAY, JAN. 9

Cindel is the special guest for the Winter Wonderland event at Jungle, www.jungleatl.com (Photo via Facebook)

22 Best Bets January 8, 2016

Wussy Mag and Creative Loafing present Powder Room, a Queer Dance Party, hosted by Zaida J., Melissa Coffey, Pity Soiree and Minks, with music by Vicki Powell, Electrobixx and Ree de La Vega, 10 p.m.–3 a.m., Heretic Atlanta, www.hereticatlanta.com Destiny Brooks and Shavonna B. Brooks emcee the rowdy Femme Fatale event tonight beginning at 11 p.m., Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

SATURDAY, JAN. 9

Join Bendito and Cousin Oliver for a special backspin to the days of disco at Mary’s Atlanta. The club is resurrecting both Furry Disco Balls and big stacks of vinyl from Backstreet’s disco heyday. All vinyl, all day, with cheap drink specials and snacks, 2–8 p.m., www.facebook.com/ events/795293333927194 Two step and line dance your boots off—it’s Country Night at the Heretic tonight beginning at 8 p.m., www.hereticatlanta.com

SUNDAY, JAN. 10

Scorpio spins at Xion Atlanta this morning beginning at 3 a.m., www.facebook.com/ events/525850130921685 David Crowe directs the farce “Charley’s Aunt” at Georgia Ensemble Theatre with a 2:30 p.m. show today, running through Jan. 24, www.get.org

A number of LGBT films and television shows hope to score tonight at the Golden Globe Awards, NBC, 8 p.m.

The new season of New Faces kicks off tonight at Friends on Ponce, hosted

by Regina Simms, 9 p.m., www.friendsonponce-atl.com

MONDAY, JAN. 11

Eddie Redmayne stars in the lauded “The Danish Girl,” dealing with Lili Elbe’s groundbreaking journey as a transgender pioneer, in area theaters.

Join KJ Rosemarie tonight for karaoke at Faces Lounge in Marietta, 7–11 p.m., faceslounge.com The venerable Stars of the Century take the stage for one of Atlanta’s longestrunning and most respected drag shows.

Doors open at 10:30 p.m. and the performance starts at 11:30, Jungle, www.jungleatl.com

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

TELL US ABOUT YOUR LGBT EVENT Submit your LGBT event for inclusion in our online and print calendars by emailing event info to editor@thegavoice.com

TUESDAY, JAN. 12

Would you like to watch the State of the Union Address but don’t have a space, community, or group of people to watch it with? Would you like to meet other feminists, enjoy delicious food and drinks, and talk electoral politics? Join Charis and GA WAND for a relaxed social evening at Madre + Mason (560 Dutch Valley Rd. NE, Atlanta, GA 30324). This is a free event, but please plan to eat and drink.

The watch party begins at 8 p.m. and the address begins at 9.

Need some OTP fun? J’s Lounge is the home for Rainbow Tuesdays, with Dymond Onasis and Nicole Paige Brooks leading the fun and DJ Destin providing house music, 1995 Windy Hill Rd. #1, Smyrna, GA 30080

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 13

A new PFLAG support group with a focus on supporting families of South Asian origin with LGBTQ children meets tonight from 6–7:30 p.m. at the Buckhead Library, 269 Buckhead Ave. NE, Atlanta, GA 30305 Wednesday is Piano Night at the smoke-free Mixx Atlanta, 7 p.m., www.mixxatlanta.com Play trivia and more at Game Night at Woofs Atlanta, 8 p.m., www.woofsatlanta.com

THURSDAY, JAN. 14

Charis Books sponsors “The Personal is Still Political: Feminist Vent” tonight. Building on the activist tradition of consciousness-raising groups, each week Charis Books invites folks to come talk about issues in their personal lives or in society as a whole that they are trying to process or deconstruct. Then they talk about how intersectional feminism can be a tool to help solve those issues. People of all genders, levels of political experience, and education are welcome. 7:30–9 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

THURSDAY, JAN. 14

Written by out Atlanta playwright Margaret Edson, the acclaimed drama ‘Wit’ is being staged by Aurora Theatre, opening today with an 8 p.m. performance and running through Feb. 7, www.auroratheatre.com (Publicity photo) The Pretty Girl Hideout Thursdays is tonight, hosted by Mook Dahost, Soul Bar at Pal’s Lounge, 254 Auburn Ave., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.traxxgirls.com

FRIDAY, JAN. 15

All new at the Heretic is Miss Lauren’s Blackjack, 9 p.m. tonight, www.hereticatlanta.com The Mr. and Ms. Eagle Bar Night is tonight beginning at 10 p.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaeagle.com

SATURDAY, JAN. 16

Enjoy one of Amsterdam Atlanta’s 30 new beers this afternoon, www.amsterdamatlanta.com Edie Cheezburger and special guest DJs spark Glitter Bomb at 11 p.m., Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

SUNDAY, JAN. 17

The PFLAG Atlanta support group meets today from 2:30–4 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, www.uuca.org Come play pool for free and hang out at Bulldogs, open from 4 p.m.–3 a.m. today, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA, 30308

MONDAY, JAN. 18

Trans and Friends is a youth-focused group for trans people, people questioning their own gender, and aspiring allies. Charis Books offers a facilitated space to discuss gender, relevant resources, and activism around social issues.

This is a project of the Feminist Outlawz.

7–8:30 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

TUESDAY, JAN. 19

Art It Out Therapy Center is now offering an Expressive Art Therapy Group for LGBTQ Teens on Tuesdays. Through art, the group will explore self-identity, coping with stress, intimate and parental relationships, and coming out. 7 p.m., 255 Village Parkway (in Paper Mill Village), Suite 580, Marietta, GA 30067 Chad hosts Show Tune Tuesdays at Oscars Atlanta, 8 p.m., www.oscarsatlanta.com Two dollar tapas and tacos are on tap tonight at Las Margaritas with guest DJ Karlitos, DJ Emerick and DJ Spence, lasmargaritasmidtown.com

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 20

SM 101 is tonight with a topic to be discussed, 8–10 p.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaeagle.com

CONTINUES ON PAGE 24

EVENT SPOTLIGHT MONDAY, JAN. 18

Presented by Atlanta Pride, the 2016 Bayard Rustin/Audre Lorde Breakfast is today. It’s one of the area’s major MLK Day events. The 15th annual event honors the lives of the late Rustin and Lourde and the ongoing work of black leaders and others committed to social change, 10 a.m.– 2 p.m., The Loudermilk Center, 40 Courtland St., NE, Atlanta, GA 30303 (File photo)

January 8, 2016 Best Bets 23

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 23 Ruby Redd’s Birdcage Bingo features $3 well drinks, no cover, drag performances and lots of fun, with proceeds benefiting Atlanta area charities, 8:30 p.m., The Hideaway, www.atlantahideaway.com Church Organ Karaoke featuring T.T. Mahony is tonight at 10 p.m. at Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room & Ping Pong Emporium, 10 p.m. www.sisterlouisaschurch.com

THURSDAY, JAN. 21

SAGE Atlanta hosts its weekly potluck and social, with table tennis, cards, coffee and conversation, 10 a.m., Rush Center Annex, www.rushcenteratl.org The Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) presents its Business Builder’s Lunch today. Hosted

by Dustin Drabot and Diane Conklin on the third Thursday of each month, it begins at 11:45 a.m. and features a $20 (cash only) preset menu. Open floor seating limited to 14 respondents. Henry’s Midtown, www.henrysatl.com Mark your calendars for the first MAAP (Metro Atlanta Association of

24 Best Bets January 8, 2016

Professionals) event of 2016 at TEN Atlanta. The event begins at 6 p.m. with light bites and progresses to open and structured networking with fellow LGBT professionals, www.tenatlanta.com My Sister’s Room hosts Beer Pony Game Night every Thursday with food and drink specials, www.mysistersroom.com Brent Star is the host for Twisted Thursdays at Las Margaritas, lasmargaritasmidtown.com Dining With the Divas, hosted by Savannah Leigh, features the best in female impersonations, Lips Atlanta, www.lipsatl.com

UPCOMING SATURDAY, JAN. 23

The Atlanta Eagle hosts a Cancer Benefit for adult performer Scott Spears, with raffles and music by DJ Diablo Rojo, 10 p.m.–3 a.m., www.atlantaeagle.com

TUESDAY, JAN. 26

The International Human Trafficking Institute and the LGBT Institute, both

programs of The National Center for Civil and Human Rights, Inc., present a night of panelists discussing the intersection of human trafficking and the LGBT community. Some estimates have put the number of LGBT youth forced into homelessness by their families at over 25 percent. On the streets these young people face a significant chance of becoming victims of human trafficking. Once trafficked, they could face beatings, mutilations, brandings, rapes, and other abuses.

7 p.m., Center for Civil and Human Rights, www.civilandhumanrights.org It’s the biggest film festival in the city—the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival kicks off tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Cobb Energy Centre, 7:30 p.m., www.ajff.org

FRIDAY, JAN. 29

Grammy Award winners Macklemore & Ryan Lewis visit the Fox Theatre tonight, 8 p.m., www.foxtheatre.org Come get your VIP card at BJ Roosters while supplies last. VIP card holders get free entry to the club on cover charge nights (Friday and Saturday). Stay for a drink or two, a bite to eat, and some hot eye candy on the bar. 9 p.m., BJ Roosters, 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324

EVENT SPOTLIGHT SATURDAY, JAN. 23

Actor’s Express opens the musical ‘Sweeney Todd,’ with Kevin Harry as the murderous lead character, directed by Freddie Ashley, 8 p.m., www.actors-express.com (Publicity photo)

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

By MELISSA CARTER

On the other side with Millie Pete “We’re here, aren’t we?”

That was the response from a nurse when I asked her in the hallway how her Christmas was going. Neither one of us was at home that day and it made me realize the holidays aren’t always about parties, food, and presents.

My mother, who is affectionately known as Millie Pete, is 86 years old and has enjoyed great health the majority of her years. I can’t remember Mom ever being sick when I was growing up, and she has only experienced a couple of medical setbacks in her elder years.

When she admitted to me in December she wasn’t feeling well and needed to see someone, I knew something must really be wrong.

My son and I had both been battling colds at the time and were on antibiotics, so I assumed our trip to the doctor would result in similar medications for her too. Little did I know when I picked her up that it would be a month before she’d be able to go back home.

During the appointment I noticed Millie Pete wasn’t able to take in a breath, let alone a deep breath, while the doctor had her stethoscope on her back. The doctor noticed it too, and while Mom was being escorted down the hall to get a chest x-ray, the doctor closed the door to strongly suggest to me that I take Mom to the hospital immediately. Following her instructions, I noticed as we checked out that written on Mom’s receipt were the words, “Potential Life-Threatening Condition.”

The hospital determined that Mom had pneumonia. For an 86-year-old this is a lifethreatening condition, and she was placed in intensive care unit for monitoring until the following day. Uncomfortably tied to machines and unable to catch her breath, she tried to keep her complaining to a minimum as they determined the right course of action for her age and condition. Millie Pete remained in the hospital for another week, then was moved into a rehab facility for two more, which meant she would spend Christmas and New Year’s away from home.

We never lost sight of how grateful we www.thegeorgiavoice.com

“Illness doesn’t observe the holidays. Those who are sick and those that serve them tend to be forgotten on Christmas Day by the outside world, especially our elders and their caretakers.” were that Mom was improving, since her condition could have gone in a very different direction. However, there was a sense of melancholy that hung in the air for all of us.

My older sister came to stay with Mom a few days, and had to return home to work over Christmas weekend. My brother came to visit several days before Christmas, but left on Christmas Eve to go back and spend Christmas with our sister. This was also the first year I didn’t have my son on Christmas Day, per my agreement with his other mother, so when December 25th arrived it wasn’t the most festive day. When I ran into that nurse in the hallway of Mom’s facility to ask her how her Christmas was going, her response made me realize she too wasn’t feeling in the spirit of the season.

Illness doesn’t observe the holidays.

Those who are sick and those who serve them, especially our elders and their caretakers, tend to be forgotten on Christmas Day by the outside world. I guess my gift this year was to experience that side of our city and to make sure I don’t lose sight of what else goes on while families gather and carols are sung again.

Melissa Carter is one of the Morning Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post. She is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and one ofthe few in the country. Follow her on Twitter@MelissaCarter January 8, 2016 Columnists 25

SOMETIMES ‘Y’

By RYAN LEE

A queer take on gun control I try to promote joy and peace in my gift giving, which is why most of the holiday presents I pass out are THC-based. I had an odd, unfamiliar feeling last week as I licked and sealed an envelope and prepared to wish someone a merry Christmas with a gift card for a local shooting range and a coupon for a free machine gun rental.

I’ve always disliked firearms and all forms of gun culture: a military stocked to arm Armageddon; police arsenals and an accompanying mindset that reclassifies neighborhoods as battlefields; the way Hollywood treats sex and cigarettes as more problematic than excessive gunfire; certain civilian groups’—white hunters and disaffected black youth, as two examples—conditioning to view firearms as an assertion (and extension) of manhood.

My abhorrence of guns has not been developed in the abstract. One of my teenage stepbrothers was gunned down when I was 11. I witnessed my first murder at age 15 when someone opened fire at the neighborhood swimming pool. Several classmates and peers were killed in armed robberies or by stray bullets, and two of my nephews have been shot—most recently, my sister called me a few nights before Thanksgiving to tell me that her 15-year-old son was being rushed to the hospital.

Guns evoke a sense of chaos more than safety for me. I prefer to reduce my proximity to them, and I appreciate efforts to keep them out of common areas like shopping malls and sports venues.

Over the past decade, I’ve developed a meaningful friendship with a married heterosexual couple, who at some point in the last five years became Second Amendment fanatics, unwilling to sit in their living room or eat at a restaurant without a handgun holstered at their sides. They’ve evolved from “open carry” enthusiasts to devotees of survivalism, and I sometimes worry whether they appreciate the difference between preparing for the apocalypse and rooting for its arrival.

I once told the husband how much it

“I support closing the gun-show loophole and punishing straw-man purchases, and I believe those who buy semiautomatic weapons should at least be subjected to the Cosmo-esque personality quizzes that many companies require for new hires.” meant to me that throughout our friendship, despite our diverse backgrounds and his being raised in South Georgia, he had never made me feel uncomfortable—never judged or censored me—for being gay. I confessed my personal discomfort with guns and my confusion over the fellowship he feels among Second Amendment enthusiasts, and I committed to not letting our friendship be diminished by reservations I have about his new identity and lifestyle.

I know it’s a third rail of queer politics to even tangentially compare the LGBT experience to anything but venerated human rights struggles, as if homosexuality were not historically (and still) persecuted under the auspices of being a threat to public health. Still, I am uncomfortable advocating that a group of Americans—gun owners—should have their constitutional freedoms diluted because of the potential misuse of firearms by others.

I support closing the gun-show loophole and punishing straw-man purchases, and I believe those who buy semiautomatic weapons should at least be subjected to the Cosmo-esque personality quizzes that many companies require for new hires. I have little faith that any of this would reduce gun violence in the United States, so I lean toward the chaos of freedom instead of the security of prohibition.

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

26 Columnists January 8, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Creepoftheweek

By D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Republican presidential candidates Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Ben Carson have all pledged to work to reverse marriage equality if elected. (Official photos)

GOP presidential candidates want to turn back time on LGBT rights Making sure that gays and lesbians were never afforded legally recognized marriages was the focus for the anti-gay right for so long. So many resources were poured into stopping John and Bill from saying, “I do” that ever since the Supreme Court said yes to marriage equality, anti-gay groups have desperately been trying to regain lost ground.

Now that marriage equality is legal, the anti-gay right’s strategy has changed some.

Instead of trying to prevent marriage equality from happening, they’re trying to make sure it remains legal for haters to hate under the guise of “religious freedom.”

So shortly after the Supreme Court ruled, a bill was introduced in Congress called the “First Amendment Defense Act,” which would essentially shield anyone who wants to discriminate against LGBT people. Because discrimination is a religious right and the First Amendment protects “the free exercise of religion.”

Needless to say, the anti-gay right would love to get this bill signed into law. But they know it will never go anywhere without a president’s support. And so they have asked the GOP dunce troupe of candidates to sign a pledge in blood. Okay, I made up the blood part (or did I?), but the pledge reads, “If elected, I pledge to push for the passage of the First Amendment Defense Act (FADA) and sign it into law during the first 100 days of my term as President.”

Ben Carson, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz totally signed it. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Carly Fiorina, Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee also signed on to support this ridiculous bullshit, but they are trailing so far in the polls that, well, nobody cares what they think.

According to the American Principles Project, front-runner Donald Trump has expressed support for FADA but didn’t sign the pledge.

Since barely a word of what comes out of Trump’s mouth is true, this doesn’t really mean much. But it would be a mistake to think that Trump is for, or even neutral on, LGBT rights.

According to the Family Research Council, a group that has made its name by hating on the gays, “FADA would prohibit the federal government from penalizing people for their personal, moral or religious beliefs on natural marriage in federal employment, grants, contracts, tax treatment and other programs. It also protects individuals or entities that believe, teach or establish in codes of conduct that sexual intimacy is reserved for natural marriage.”

That covers an awful lot of ground on which someone can say, “God told me to hate gays so you can’t touch me.” The intended consequences would be terrible for LGBT people.

But Carson, Rubio and Cruz don’t care.

According to American Principles Project’s Maggie Gallagher, “Real, concrete protections for gay marriage dissenters appear to be just one election victory away.”

That is, of course, if Americans are dumb enough to elect one of these extremists.

January 8, 2016 Columnists 27

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