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georgia VOL.10 • ISSUE 25

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

PO Box 77401 • Atlanta, GA 30357 P: 404-815-6941; F: 404-963-6365

EDITORIAL

Editor: Patrick Colson-Price pcolson-price@thegavoice.com

Editorial Contributors: Conswella Bennett, Cliff Bostock, Melissa Carter, Dallas Duncan, Aidan Ivory Edwards, Stefanee Escay, Jim Farmer, O’Brian Gunn, Ryan Lee, Rose Pelham, Zoe Seiler, Berlin Sylvestre, Dionne Walker, Cristina Williams-Fontanez

PRODUCTION

Art Director: Rob Boeger rboeger@thegavoice.com

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Principal/Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com

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FINE PRINT

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TheGeorgiaVoice.com

EDITORIAL

YOUR VOICE MATTERS

God Doesn’t Care If I’m Gay Patrick Colson-Price Being gay in the bible-belt South isn’t an easy thing to be, especially when you live in a town with a church on every corner where bible verses are thrown at you like rice at a wedding. I remember growing up knowing something about me was different.

I had a hunch that I was gay, my parents and a select few members of my local church where I attended summer camp had already figured it out. I’d been going to this camp for a while, and as I grew older, the counselors urged me to start attending Wednesday night services along with the usual Sunday praise and worship with all of the adults.

That’s when I had my first encounter with Christians that seemed to know what was better for me than I knew for myself.

I confided in one counselor, a good looking 24-year-old that I admittingly had a crush on. I told him my feelings and that I “loved him.” His reaction was stern as he explained that being gay was a sin and that I’d go to hell because of it. But he threw in this disclaimer: if I asked God for forgiveness and talked to a pastor about it, I would be ridden of this lifestyle that he said I clearly didn’t choose.

I agreed that it was something I didn’t choose but I couldn’t figure out just how someone was going to change the feelings I had inside. A week or so later, the counselor introduced me to the church youth director and so began often visits in his office before and after services. The topics always revolved around my sexuality and why I felt the way I did. Not one time during our months and months of meetings did he ever tell me that I was ok the way I was. I took it as a sign that I needed to change and please God in every way imaginable. I mean, could I be forgiven for this sin of being attracted to men? Could I get into heaven even if I still felt the way I did but never acted on it? If I got married

Criticized for Being Too Gay and Not Gay Enough, Buttigieg has Unique Burden Dale Mulkey: “He should be himself and tell everyone else to get over it!”

Bob Henkel: “Burden?? What burden? To be something he is or is not according to others?

That’s not his burden. That’s their burden being foisted upon him. His only burden is to be himself. Just like the rest of us.”

Meghan Serafin: “I’ve said it before and I will damn well say it again: we don’t not like Pete because he’s not gay enough. We don’t like him because if he were straight he’d be running as a Republican.”

and had kids, would that be enough to access my stairway to heaven?

I attended Sunday and Wednesday services along with vacation bible school, a mission trip to Kentucky, and a summer youth trip to the beach. In every waking moment, I lived and breathed the ideals that I thought would make me a better Christian. But still, my thoughts of being attracted to men only grew. Soon I found myself battling inside of my head, angry at myself for feelings towards the same sex, and more determined than ever to outwit my brain.

The turning point for me was when I had my first same-sex encounter. It was a simple kiss with a friend of a friend in the parking lot of my high school late at night. That kiss turned what used to be a terrified teenager afraid of being gay into a determined teenager eager and willing to accept parts of himself that others deemed sinful and unholy. Throughout my entire time at the Baptist church in Spartanburg, I remember the preachings of how Jesus loved everyone as equals and preaching to do unto others as they would do unto you. Why would God love me any less just because I had an attraction to a man? He didn’t care if I was gay. He cared that I loved myself and loved others around me.

While my experience wasn’t anything compared to others who went through conversion therapy, I understand that I was one of the lucky ones with supportive parents that lifted me up when church members tried to tear me down. Because of their love, I’ve been able to accept myself, love myself more, and appreciate the unique soul that God (or a higher being) gave to me when I was created.

Mormon Church Opposes Transgender Transitioning in New Handbook Roscoe Dixon: “Organized religion … surprised? I’m not.”

Lynn Pasqualetti: “Reading their stance would remove the majority of their members. Faith is not organized religion.

Organized religion is just another form of controlling the masses.”

Drew West: “I’ve said it before, but organized religion has caused more harm and death to the human race than anything else … All while religious leaders preach kindness to your neighbor while using their religion to justify why their discrimination is justified.”

Wendy Williams Apologizes for Anti-LGBTQ Comments James Shook: “She’s focused on what supports her … not that she really is sorry about having the homophobic and hateful sentiments she broadcasted to her audience.

That’s just not how a person behaves who really appreciates you as a gay man.”

Calvin Hall: “Unacceptable and nonsincere apology. She needs to be canceled.”

Sam J Burkhalter: “I’m guessing she lost too many ratings points too quickly and therefore she was ordered to do damage control.”

Want to be featured in Your Voice Matters?

Leave a comment to a story via social media or on our website, or email editor@thegavoice.com with the subject line “Your Voice Matters.”

February 28, 2020 Editorial 3

NEWS

Ryan Roemerman

Named New Co-chair of Mayor’s LGBTQ Advisory Board Katie Burkholder

importance of every single person on the 35-member board.

The Mayor’s LGBTQ Advisory Board has some new leadership: Ryan Roemerman has been appointed as the newest co-chair of the board. Roemerman is the founding director of the LGBTQ Institute at the National Center for Civil and Human Rights and served on the board as a member for the last two years.

“We’re two folks, but it’s the Advisory Board that we’re really inspired by,” he said. “They make sure we are being transparent and equitable and that the wheels of this whole operation keep spinning. If it wasn’t for them, we would have a much harder time.”

As for the future of the board and LGBTQ Atlanta, Stewart says that they’re experiencing a major shift in goals.

“It has been an honor to have not only served as a member but to now serve as co-chair,” he told Georgia Voice. “To be able to see even deeper the inner workings of city government and how we’re trying to make sure the LGBTQ folks are being represented within the policies and practices of the city has been eye-opening.”

Roemerman joins Pam Stewart as her fellow co-chair. Stewart, who is also the Board of Directors Chair with GLAAD, has served on the LGBTQ Advisory Board since its inception in 2018. Stewart is nothing but complimentary of Roemerman, telling Georgia Voice that if she were the one to have made the appointment decision, she wouldn’t have changed a thing.

“In candor, I wanted him to be co-chair largely in part because Ryan is not just passionate about the work, he is influential in the city and in his day job at the [LGBTQ] Institute,” Stewart said. “His pedigree lends itself to great leadership, but more than that true authenticity of being tied to the vision of One Atlanta.”

Roemerman succeeds Kirk Rich, who served alongside Stewart for the first two years of the board. Rich left the board after being appointed to Atlanta Housing’s board of commissioners. According to both Roemerman and Stewart, Rich leaves behind a legacy of passion and change.

“What he left behind was his vision 4 News February 28, 2020

Ryan Roemerman and Pam Stewart PHOTO BY SYLVIA MCAFEE, CITY OF ATLANTA

that whatever we did for the council was embedded in this One Atlanta dream that every citizen – any resident, worker, and visitor of the city – truly feels like this is the place to be,” Stewart said. “He’s helped with that legacy with his work on HOPWA [Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS], his inaugural (and now ongoing) work we’ve done with the city on Pride months, and how we’ve engaged on policies, like signing against conversion therapy.

There are so many different examples [of legislation and policy] that his fingerprints are on.”

“Ryan was a perfect fit [to succeed Rich] because he shares a lot of those passion points

on similar legislation, policies, and initiatives.”

“Kirk very much provided me the background I would need to come into this with eyes wide open – all the challenges and opportunities – which was very helpful,” Roemerman said.

Although Roemerman had experience serving on the board, he says his experience as co-chair has been vastly different.

“There’s a lot more meetings, more detail involved,” he said. “It’s a labor of love – all of it is very rewarding because you know you’ll be making a difference.”

However, he was sure to emphasize the

“The first [two years] were about being heard and represented,” she said. “This time it’s about legacy building. If you think about the first 24 months of this experience, it was about developing and designing the structure, imbedding the LGBTQ community into the city’s practices and policies, and rethinking funding. The next two years will be focused on rooting these processes that we’ve established and putting governance around what we’ve formed so that this isn’t just a one-time LGBTQfriendly mayor, but [LGBTQ equality] is actually embedded in the city’s practices.”

Specifically, Roermerman tells Georgia Voice that he and Stewart are currently drafting a letter to Mayor Bottoms regarding their goals, one of which is HOPWA funding: “making sure that there are clear and transparent ways that the money is allocated, that people are being reimbursed in a timely fashion, that we are meeting the needs of folks that need access to this support.”

Stewart has also spearheaded an Opportunity Fair, which will be coming soon.

“I’m hopeful we’ll be able to improve upon [the city’s policies and practices],” Roemerman said, “and make sure everybody has access to the resources and things they need to live a happy life here in Atlanta.”

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

NATIONAL NEWS NEWS

A L L

Pete Buttigieg gives youth advice on coming out at campaign rally in Denver.

Screenshot via Twitter

S A I N T S ’

s

E P I S C O P A L

C H U R C H

Welcome the Light of Easter

Buttigieg Gives Youth Advice on Coming Out at Campaign Rally in Denver Chris Johnson, Writer for Washington Blade When a 9-year-old boy asked Pete Buttigieg on stage at a campaign rally in Denver Sunday for advice on having the bravery to come out, the gay presidential hopeful initially didn’t have much to offer, but said he was very impressed.

“I don’t think you need a lot of advice from me on bravery,” Buttigieg said. “You seem pretty strong.”

Although Buttigieg is a Rhodes scholar, Harvard University, Afghanistan war veteran, McKinsey consultant who run for re-election to public office as South Bend mayor after coming out as gay, Buttigieg – who came out in his 30s – told the youth, Zachary Ro of Lone Tree, Yolo., he didn’t have his bravery.

“It took me a long time to figure out how to tell even my best friend I was gay, let alone how to get out there and tell the world,” Buttigieg said. “And to see you come to terms with who you are in a room full of thousands of people you’ve never met. That’s really something.”

The question was posed to Buttigieg on stage at the Denver rally via a member of his campaign, who read the youth’s inquiry aloud during a question-and-answer session.

But the youth later came on stage himself to hear Buttigieg’s response.

Buttigieg was able to offer two pieces of advice to the youth. The first was take caution because the road forward may be difficult.

“It won’t always be easy, but that’s OK, because you know who you are, and that’s really TheGeorgiaVoice.com

important,” Buttigieg said. “Because when you know who you are, you have a center of gravity that can hold you together when all kinds of chaos is happening around you.”

The second piece of advice Buttigieg told the youth was to keep an eye open to others looking for him to lead as an example.

“You will never know who’s taking their lead from you, who’s watching you and deciding that they can be a little brave because you’ve been brave,” Buttigieg said to additional cheers from the audience.

“When I was trying to figure out who I was,” Buttigieg added, “I was afraid that who I was might mean I could never make a difference, and what wound up happening instead was it’s a huge part of the difference I get to make.”

Although there have been complaints from Rush Limbaugh over Buttigieg’s sexual orientation (and sometimes LGBTQ critics who say he’s not gay enough), the possibility of electing an openly gay person to the White House overwhelmingly has been an energizing factor in his candidacy, especially in Iowa, where he pulled off a victory.

“You will never know whose life you might be affecting right now, just by standing here right now,” Buttigieg said. “There’s a lot of power in that.”

Buttigieg had one final thing to say to the youth. “Even if I can’t promise it’ll alway be easy, I can promise that I’m going to be rooting for you,” Buttigieg said.

Saturday, April 11

In the Garden: A Vigil for the City 7:00 p.m., Clara Meer Dock, Piedmont Park

Easter Day, April 12 6:00 a.m., Easter Vigil with Holy Communion

8:00 a.m. and 5:30 p.m., Contemplative Holy Communion Services 9:00 and 11:15 a.m., Celebratory Holy Communion Services 634 West Peachtree Street NW  Atlanta, Georgia 30308–1925

a lls aint s atla nt a .org February 28, 2020 National News 5

CELEBRITY CLOSE-UP!

Celebrity Brief (SPIRITUALTY EDITION)

Hallelujah! Our favorite LGBTQ and allied public figures share their controversial, hilarious, and inspiring thoughts on religion and spirituality.

“Religion has always been used for beautiful things, and also as a way to justify discrimination – whether it’s gender, or race, or the LGBTQ community, or what have you. Personally, I’m an atheist, so I just have no time for it. So that will be the next challenge.”

– Ellen Page (TIME Magazine) (PHOTOS VIA FACEBOOK; INSTAGRAM) “It said in Micah [6:8], ‘What do you want from your Lord, but what is it you want from your people?’ Which is to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly. So, for me, I cannot allow, as a leader, that people are going to use religion as a justification for discrimination.”

– Cory Booker (CNN Town Hall)

“Someone just asked me if I was religious. My reply: ‘[Snoop Dogg] is my god!’”

– Cara Delevingne (Twitter)

6 Celebrity Close-Up February 28, 2020

“When [my husband] Chasten and I go [to church] together, I think it brings us closer together. It was a mix of faith but also of community that really made it the right place to be. And, of course, the fact that we were welcome.”

– Pete Buttigieg (CNN)

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

COMMUNITY FEATURE

Finding a LGBTQ Place of Worship for You 404-378-4243 StJohnsAtlanta.org

Finding the perfect church is like finding the perfect pair of jeans. It’s vital that your choice fits your life, and a big part of that is accepting From the pastor to the church community, each aspect can have a positive or negative impact on how you live your life. If you’re new to the Atlanta metro or searching for a new church, here’s a list of what our fair city has to offer! Think of it as a spiritual buffet!

All Saints Episcopal Church 634 W. Peachtree St. N.W. Atlanta, GA 30308 404-881-0835 AllSaintsAtlanta.org Cathedral of St. Philip 2744 Peachtree Road N.W. Atlanta, GA 30305 404-365-1000 StPhilipsCathedral.org Catholic Shrine of the Immaculate Conception 48 Martin Luther King Jr. Drive S.W. Atlanta, GA 30303 404-521-1866 CatholicShrineAtlanta.org Central Congregational United Church of Christ 2676 Clairmont Road N.E. Atlanta, GA 30329 404-633-4505 Central-UCC.org Central Presbyterian Church 201 Washington St. S.W. Atlanta, GA 30303 404-659-0274 CPCAtlanta.org City of Light 3125 Presidential Parkway Atlanta, GA 30340 470-545 2821 CityOfLightAtlanta.com Congregation Bet Haverim 2074 LaVista Road Atlanta, GA 30329 404-315-6446

St. Luke’s Episcopal Church 435 Peachtree St. N.E. Atlanta, GA 30308 404-873-7600 StLukesAtlanta.org

CongregationBetHaverim.org * Best of Atlanta 2018 Runner Up House of Worship

Decatur United Church of Christ 6552 James B. Rivers Memorial Dr Stone Mountain, Georgia 678-744-8822 facebook.com/DecaturUCC First Baptist Church of Decatur 308 Clairemont Ave. Decatur, GA 30030 404-373-1653 FBCDecatur.com First Existentialist Congregation of Atlanta 470 Candler Park Drive N.E. Atlanta, GA 30307 404-378-5570 FirstExistentialist.org The Gathering Place Worship Center 2700 Northeast Expressway N.E., Suite B-100 Atlanta, GA 30345 404-815-0007 GLBTChurch.com Gentle Spirit Christian Church Worships in Candler Park at Pavilion 2 Mailing address: 601 W. Ponce de Leon Ave. Decatur, GA 30030 404-604-8124 GentleSpirit.org Just As You Are 6566 James B. Rivers Memorial Drive

8 Community Feature February 28, 2020

Stone Mountain, GA 30083 678-368-7679 JustAsYouAre.org METRON Community Worships at Landmark Midtown Art Cinema 931 Monroe Dr. N.E. Atlanta, GA 30308 404-879-0160 MetronCommunity.blogspot.com Oakhurst Baptist Church 222 East Lake Drive Decatur, GA 30030 404-378-3677 OakHurstBaptist.org New Covenant Church of Atlanta 2091 Faulkner Road Atlanta, GA 30324 404-929-1400 NewCovenantAtlanta.com

Tabernacle Baptist Church 1041 Moreland Drive Atlanta, GA 30315 404-876-3777 TBCAtlanta.net Trinity Center for Spiritual Living 1095 Zonolite Road, Suite 100 Atlanta, GA 30306 404-296-6064 TrinityCenterAtlanta.org Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta 1911 Cliff Valley Way N.E. Atlanta, GA 30329 404-634-5134 Uuca.org Unity Fellowship Church, Greater Atlanta 601 W. Ponce de Leon Ave. Decatur, GA 30030 404-599-8243 UnityWideOpen.com

* Best of Atlanta 2018 Runner Up House of Worship

Saint Mark United Methodist Church 781 Peachtree St. N.E. Atlanta, GA 30308 404-873-2636 StMarkUMC.org * Best of Atlanta 2018 Winner House of Worship

St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church 1790 LaVista Road N.E. Atlanta, GA 30329 404-634-3336 facebook.com/St.BartsAtlanta St. John’s Lutheran Church 1410 Ponce de Leon Ave. N.E. Atlanta, GA 30307

Victory for the World Church 1170 N. Hairston Road Stone Mountain, GA 30083 678-476-6000 VictoryForTheWorld.org Virginia-Highland Church 743 Virginia Ave. N.E. Atlanta, GA 30306 404-348-4830 VHChurch.org Vision Church of Atlanta 704 Ormewood Drive Atlanta, GA 30312 404-622-9470 TheVisionChurch.org

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

COMMUNITY FEATURE

America’s Spiritual Awakening:

Religion Gets Personal Cristina Williams-Fontanez

It’s not a great time for traditional organized religion, at least not in the United States.

There are countless studies and surveys outlining the simple fact that church is just not that trendy anymore. Gone are the days where one’s friends, activities, or calendars revolved solely around Sunday services. Nowadays, “Sunday Funday” is the norm, and people are looking to fulfill their spiritual needs elsewhere.

Churches and organized religion used to be mainstays in the community for the simple fact that church was the only way to socialize. “It is no longer necessary to belong to a religious community because secular communities are plentiful,” states Mark W. Gura, author and President of the Atheist Alliance of America.

Whether you prefer to hang out with chatty gardeners, amateur sommeliers, or a local chess club, it’s much easier with today’s technology to find groups of like-minded people who want to be sociable. Dr. María M. Carrión, Chair of the Religion Department at Emory University thinks that throughout human history, it’s just been more convenient to value spirituality over religion. “A feeling of spirituality, as a feeling first, and as a partaking of spirits, the spirit, or a spiritual life second, is more manageable, pliable, adaptable.” And humans are nothing if not adaptable.

If you examine the breakdown created by the Pew Research Center of people who don’t consider themselves affiliated with any religion in the United States, most of those people are young people, between the ages of 18 and 49. The Rev. Dr. Horace L. Griffin, Senior Associate for Pastoral Care and Outreach at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Atlanta sees a connection between the social movements that erupted in the 1970s when society was questioning itself and fighting for equal rights across the board, and with a waning in attendance TheGeorgiaVoice.com

at services today. “I think some of the reasons for that is a lot of those Millennials’ parents who were part of that change in our culture about religion in the sense of institutional religion or organized religion, I think that’s where it started changing.”

As people start questioning the teachings of the more conservative denominations while seeking acceptance and community, a lot of marginalized groups find themselves left out on the fringes. The Rev. Dr. Griffin touches on this sentiment a bit stating, “a lot of those [more conservative] churches have been very closed to [the] inclusion of women, LGBTQ folks, and they’ve heard a lot of negative messages and don’t find that attractive.” And maybe a little tone-deaf when it comes to the social climate we find ourselves in today.

But it’s not that we’re losing touch with the spiritual. It seems more like we are seeking to feed our souls in other ways. Gary Laderman, Professor of American Religious History and Cultures in the Department of Religion at Emory University, thinks that our evolving

school of thought on practices and rituals can lend itself to a new kind of spirituality. “The rules of the ‘religion game’ have changed in this new spiritual environment, and what once looked to be ‘secular’ activities are actually deeply religious practices that provide both stability and order to the cosmos, and rituals that bring people in touch with their true spiritual selves.” An example of some of these activities in his opinion? “Sacred practices … are all over the place: music festivals, sports events, celebrity tracking, political protest …”

Meditation, a tried and true way to tap into our inner selves, always seems to score high on the list of spiritual activities as well, and for good reason, Gura argues. “Humans have an innate need to experience altered states of consciousness, which help us to release stress and help us to recharge. Secular forms of meditation fulfill this need.” And science supports this. Mediation, whether it’s in the form of daily prayer or mindfulness, is good for your mind and body. But so is any activity where you feel connected to your mind or other people in a safe and welcoming environment.

That could be the main argument as to why people who belong to congregations are reportedly happier than those who don’t. It doesn’t necessarily mean that being part of a religion leads to happiness, but rather being surrounded by a steady support system does.

Whether you’re tied to a religion or not, the more spiritually connected you feel, the healthier you are.

According to the Pew Research Center’s article about the U.S. becoming less religious, “About six-in-ten adults now say they regularly feel a deep sense of ‘spiritual peace and well-being,’ up 7 percentage points since 2007. And 46 percent of Americans say they experience a deep sense of ‘wonder about the universe’ at least once a week, also up 7 points over the same period.” The times are changing, and whether you choose to diligently attend church services every Sunday morning, or meet with your yoga group every Thursday night, just remember to feed your spirit since it is arguably the thing which makes us human.

February 28, 2020 Community Feature 9

COMMUNITY FEATURE

Witches Be Like …

What is the Difference Between Religion and Spirituality Anyway?

Stefanee Escay

Religion is based on fear. Spirituality is based on love.

Churches and many other religious organizations emphasize acts of good service and obedience to avoid being harshly punished in the afterlife. On the flipside, spiritual individuals continue to stand behind that “Make love, not war” mindset.

In the 39 years of my existence on this earth, I spent about 35 of those years assuming I was a religious person – I was raised (and later confirmed) as a Catholic. I attended bible school and went to Mass on Sundays. I was part of the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) organization in high school. I even graduated from a Lutheran college and read books on Christianity for leisure. How very religious of me, right?

Zach Walker, Community Director of the luxury residences of 675 North Highland, says, “Spirituality for me is my own experience with the universe or God. It’s what guides me personally and touches my heart to help others or to work on personal areas of my life that need a little more attention than others. It’s how I seek and express myself and my purpose, and ultimately it’s my connectedness in the moment.”

Then five years ago, something changed. I started questioning. Doubting. Wondering.

Is there really a God? Am I God? Is church evil? Is Satan real? That’s when I went down the rabbit hole and never came back.

Instead of attending mass regularly, I found myself seeking wisdom from clairvoyant spirit guides. Rather than remitting a tithe to the church, I was spending money on raw gemstone jewelry, oracle cards, and healing candles. Instead of reading books on Christianity, I was knee-deep in literature about crystal healing, dream interpretation and even, dare I say, Wiccan culture.

Today if someone asks me if I’m religious, I confidently respond with, “No, but I am very spiritual.” But what does that mean, to be spiritual or to be religious? I asked around, and it turns out there are quite a few differences between the two. Here are just a few of them: Religion is a belief in someone else’s experience. Spirituality is having your own experience.

– Deepak Chopra Being religious means belonging to an established religious order (such as Christianity, Hinduism or Buddhism) and believing in a higher being (like God).

Being spiritual means relying on the power of your own self and that YOU are

ultimately in charge of your destiny.

Those who identify as religious are generally affiliated with a church (or synagogue or other location of worship) and typically attend a service or group gathering regularly.

Most go to church at least once a week to honor their higher being, and others engage in praise in other ways (like religious acts of service or prayer).

Those who claim to be spiritual typically engage in self-reflection (or medication) for affirmation and/or praise. So, rather than participating in mass worship or group prayer, spiritual people tend to look inward to give thanks. Or search for answers. Or find the truth.

I asked social media strategist and former west Georgia native Candy Hogue what her take was on religion versus spirituality. She says, “I guess I see religion as more of a label and that it’s taught to us. Spirituality comes from within us.”

10 Community Feature February 28, 2020

Religion emphasizes punishment.

Spirituality believes in karma.

In most cases, religious people are taught that positive behavior is ultimately rewarded with the most unimaginable, beautiful gifts (like access to Heaven or being reincarnated) and that ungodlike behavior results in the most undesirable consequences (such suffering for eternity in the bowels of Hell or not being granted eternal life).

Real estate mogul Lonnie Hand says, “Religion is the set of manmade rules and best practices crafted at a given time to help others … or give them exactly what they deserve in the end!”

Spiritual beings, on the other hand, believe the universe will take care of our destinies via karma. This means if we put out good energy and behave out of love we will, in turn, be provided with the same. If our actions in life are rooted in toxic nature or negativity, however, our fates will also be met with that same poisonous energy in the end.

The list of differences between religion and spirituality goes on, but unfortunately, my word limit for this article does not. In a nutshell, it appears that ‘religion’ is the umbrella for which things like church, worship, and prayer fall under, and ‘spirituality’ is the folder where things such as the universe, meditation, and karma are filed.

Georgia attorney Ciro Mestres had this to say: “People who are spiritual are usually more about being immersed in nature and being grateful or spreading love and things like that. Those more on the religious side are devoted to the church and the community, and worshipping their God or a different higher being.”

PRO TIPS There’s a new place of worship on the block that combines religion with spirituality, called Trinity Center for Spiritual Living. For more info visit: https://trinitycenteratlanta.org There’s also a hidden gem in Atlanta (the Hoot Owl Attic) where you can foster your spirituality, invest in healing crystals or even stop in for a reading with a clairvoyant guide.

For additional details check out: http://theinnerspace.com.

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

COMMUNITY FEATURE

Religion’s Rule Over Me

“So, I did what was expected. I got baptized at 14-years-old despite having questions. I went on to graduate high school, pushed aside my desire to go to college and suppressed the lesbian that I knew I was – although it took me a while to accept this fact myself.”

Conswella Bennett

For over half my life – over 20 years – a religion ruled it.

I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, so I spent three nights a week at some meeting at the Kingdom Hall, the place of worship, and my weekends were spent in the ministry – going door to door spreading the message.

My family was the “Cosby” family of a local Kingdom Hall in a small congregation in Mississippi. My father was an elder, one of the leaders in the congregation. He gave Bible-based talks at other Kingdom Halls in the area. But, I was hiding a secret – the real me – the lesbian me.

At a young age, I knew that I felt different.

I was a tomboy, and as a preteen, it was girls and adult women that caught my attention.

I’d later come to realize that I was “gay,” but growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and having these feelings there was no one I felt comfortable talking to about my feelings. I knew that what I was feeling went against all the teaching and scriptures I’d heard throughout my life. You know the famous Leviticus 18:22 scripture, “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination…” So, I kept my secret trying to forget my attractions and figured it was a typical young adult phase I’d outgrow.

So, I did what was expected. I got baptized at 14 years old despite having questions. I went on to graduate high school, pushed aside my desire to go to college, and suppressed the lesbian that I knew I was – although it took me a while to accept this fact myself. I continued on the expected course to be the good witness, I became a regular pioneer, which means I spent 90 hours a month in the ministry going door to door. Also, because I was in good standing I worked on kingdom hall quick builds – traveling across the state of Mississippi building new kingdom halls.

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However, my thoughts and questions about my sexuality were not a phase. I couldn’t outgrow it or suppress it. I wanted more for my life. First, I wanted so much to be free to be “ME” and to go to college so that I could have a career. No longer able to fight my ambitions, I went against the wishes of the organization – I went to college. This was seen as some blatant act to go against the Jehovah’s Witness belief that seeking higher education leads to spiritual danger. Colleges and universities are seen not as an avenue to expand one’s mind or to learn the skills of a desired career but as centers that can cause great moral and spiritual dangers.

My simple decision to get a college education led to me and my family coming under great scrutiny from leaders in our small congregation. I was no longer seen as an example to other young people. After all, I was now spending too much time with the

people of the “world.” During this time, I began living a double life. Trying to prove that I could go to college and not be swayed by the ways of the people of the world as the Witnesses expected. But, all the while I was also trying to fit in with the students on campus. As would be the case, I attracted the very types of people I was trying to deny within myself – openly gay students.

They became my friends. I wanted so much to be open and free to live my life as openly and proudly as they were, but I knew my doing so would come at a cost – losing my close-knit family and countless Jehovah’s Witness friends. It wouldn’t matter that I had begun preparing myself mentally for this to happen years ago as a teenager. No amount of mental preparation can prepare you for this type of heartbreak.

It all came closing in a few months after

graduating college and landing my first job as a news writer at a daily newspaper.

My mom interrupted my workday with a phone call asking if I was gay. My world as I knew it ended that day. I left home and never attended another meeting at the Kingdome Hall – left anything Jehovah’s Witness related and went to stay a short distance away with my biological father, who was not a Jehovah’s Witness.

It would be years before I finally answered my mother’s question. A few years later, while with my first girlfriend, I was forced to come out.

My father and sister had long ago suspected that I was gay and was simply waiting for me to speak out about it. My mother, my best friend, took it the hardest, and while I suspect she had the mother’s intuition and knew it too, she was not happy. Despite my coming out and this being a disfellowshipping – ex-communication offense, which meant they should no longer communicate with me – we continued to communicate. My mom and I spoke daily. But, unexpectedly many years later – it was a phone call the day after Thanksgiving in 2013 that would upset my sense of normalcy.

To continue reading Conswella Bennett’s story, visit thegavoice.com.

February 28, 2020 Community Feature 11

FEATURE NEWS

Welcome to the

LGBTQIA-borhood!

Patrick Colson-Price At Georgia Voice, we’re all about inclusion and educating the community! While we’re all familiar with the LGBTQIA acronym – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or Questioning), Intersexual, and Asexual – there’s more than meets the eye which can be found in a little (+) symbol people sometimes forgotten about! So as we celebrate different religions and spiritualities, let’s also celebrate those that are part of our ever-growing community of the LGBTQIA-borhood!

NOTE: The terms used below can refer to either someone’s romantic orientation, sexual orientation, biological sex, or gender 12 Feature February 28, 2020

identity. What’s the difference? Your romantic orientation is who you are romantically attracted to, meaning wanting to be in a romantic relationship with disregarding sexual behaviors. Sexual Orientation is who you are sexually attracted to, meaning who you get turned on by or who you would want to engage in sexual behaviors with.

Your biological sex refers to the property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male based on their reproductive organs and functions. Gender Identity is how you, in your head, think about yourself.

To understand these terms even better, check out our Genderbread Person diagram!

Abrosexual Described as an individual who experiences

their sexuality change frequently. It can fluctuate between different sexualities often.

Allosexual An adjective used to describe people who do experience sexual attraction and are not asexual.

Androsexual Being primarily sexually, aesthetically, and/ or romantically attracted to masculinity.

Asexual An adjective used to describe people who do not experience sexual attraction.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 13 TheGeorgiaVoice.com

FEATURE NEWS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12

or romantically attracted to femininity.

Bisexual This term is generally used to describe being attracted to men and women, but can apply to being attracted to any two or more genders.

Intersexual A biological difference in sex that is when people are born with genitals, gonads, and/ or chromosomes that do not match up exactly with male or female.

Cisgender When you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth.

Demisexual People on the asexual spectrum who do experience some sexual attraction, but only in certain situations, like after they’ve formed a strong emotional or romantic connection with a partner.

Gay Used to refer to a man who is interested in other men, but is also used to describe any person who is interested in the same gender.

Gynesexual Being primarily sexually, aesthetically, and/

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Lesbian Women who are attracted only to other women.

Omnisexual This refers to someone who feels an equal amount of attraction towards everyone.

They don’t prefer one gender over another.

Pansexual A person who can form enduring physical, romantic, or emotional attractions to any person, regardless of gender identity. Pansexual people need not have had specific sexual experiences to be pansexual; in fact, they need not have had any sexual experience at all to identify as pansexual.

Queer A reclaimed slur for anybody in the LGBT+ community or who do not identify as cisgender and/or heterosexual/ heteroromantic.

Sapiosexual Sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind.

Skoliosexual Being primarily sexually, romantically, and/or aesthetically attracted to genderqueer, transgender, and/ or non-binary people.

Transexual When you’ve had Gender Reassignment Surgery (or Gender Reaffirming Surgery) to change the sexual organs you were born with to that of a different gender.

Transgender When you identify with a gender different than that you were assigned at birth?

February 28, 2020 Feature 13

FEATURE NEWS

Gender: 101

For decades, society has worked to understand what defines a person’s gender. Many people may be thinking, “You can only be male or female.” You’re right to an extent, but there’s more to gender than meets the physical eye. We’ll break it down for you with the help of our friend, the Genderbread Person. The diagram is intended to be a tool for individuals to understand themselves better, explain their gender to someone else or for individuals not familiar with gender at all.

IDENTITY: Gender identity is a person’s private sense of being a man or a woman, biologically as well as socially. The gender identity that most people adhere to is usually unconscious, or forced upon us at an early age; colors like blue or pink are assigned to us at younger ages. When we get older, those identities may fit. However, some individuals sense of self might not match the identity they were assigned. For example, a person was born male may feel differently inside. He may identify as a woman although he still has male reproductive organs. For transgender people, their birth-assigned sex and their internal sense of gender (gender identity) do not match.

EXPRESSION: The external form of gender identity is known as gender expression. Many people use terms like “masculine,” “feminine,” “androgynous” or express gender-variant behavior. They use their outward appearances to express themselves through clothing, makeup, or haircuts. Typically, transgender individuals match their gender expression with their gender identity. In some cases, they even alter their bodies through gender-affirming surgery align their anatomical sex with their identity and expression.

ATTRACTION: Our affinity towards another human being based on gender is defined as our sexual orientation. We use terms like gay, bisexual, lesbian or straight, among many other identifiers that delve deep into attraction towards someone’s anatomical sex, expression and/or identity. Romantic attraction is an affinity and love for others through emotional relationships. Some people have both types of attractions while others have none. But in many cases, individuals have a combination of both. If you’re a man and attracted to women, you’re considered straight. If you’re a man attracted to men and another gender, you identify as bi-sexual. If you’re a man attracted to men, you’re gay. Some people define and experience attraction without gender as a factor; they might identify as pansexual. If you experience romantic attraction but not sexual, you might identify as asexual. Biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, and attraction are not always connected though. Someone’s sexual orientation doesn’t determine gender expression, gender expression isn’t decided by gender identity, and gender identity isn’t defined by biological sex. Because each category sits on a sliding scale, it means individuals can uniquely determine who they are and how they identify based on the combinations of feelings they possess.

SEX: Anatomical sex is the gender you were assigned at birth. It’s the most common form of gender identification in society. You’re a male if you’re born with a penis, and a female if you’re born with a vagina. In some cases, individuals may be born with both reproductive organs. It’s relatively common, according to the Intersex Society of North America. About one in 2000 births result in some for of intersex identification.

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

February 28, 2020 Feature 15

VOICES OF NOTE PRESENTS

JIM FARMER ACTING OUT

ATLANTA GAY MEN'S CHORUS

Queens & Queen “And Then We Danced” featuring YACHT ROCK SCHOONER

After taking the Cannes Film Festival by storm last year and winning awards all over the world, the acclaimed, gaythemed “And Then We Danced” is now starting its U.S. theatrical run. After a special screening on March 4, it opens in Atlanta on March 6.

A story about a young man finding himself amidst the conservative ideals of the country of Georgia, the film follows Merab (Levan Gelbakhiani) a dancer hoping to find a spot on the National Georgian Ensemble.

The arrival of handsome new male dancer Irakli (Bachi Valishvili) complicates Merab’s professional and personal life.

MARCH 7 @ 3pM & 8pM DonalD Milton iii, Artistic Director 2019-2020 SEASON lassiter ConCert Hall tiCkets start at $30

Tickets and more at:

AGMCHORUS.ORG 16 Columnist February 28, 2020

Director and writer Levan Akin, who is gay, spent four years on the project. “The genesis of the idea came in 2013 when a number of people tried to have a parade in Georgia, on what would have been the first Pride Parade in Georgia,” he says. “They were attacked by a mob of 20,000 people, organized by the church. I live in Sweden and saw that and said I should go to Georgia and research this. In 2016, I went there and started doing research and that developed into ‘And Then We Danced.’”

It was not an easy shoot, however, as the crew had to film in secret. “It was pretty difficult.

We had to have lifeguards on set because we had to be secretive about the shoot. We had to change locations sometimes on short notice because they would find out what they were doing.”

Young Merab is dealing with a lot during the film. “He has a lot of responsibility and pressure on his shoulder,” says Akin. “He has a legacy of coming from an old dancer family and wanting to live up to that legacy. At the same time, he is not able to because he is not accepted the way he is in this traditional society that he loves.”

When Irakli enters the picture, things change for Merab. “It gives him courage. I wanted to make a film that is hopeful. Merab never questions his sexuality. He never goes through the darkness. He is engulfed with love and that love helps him on his journey to becoming the dancer he wants to be, choosing how he wants to interpret the dance tradition and evolve it, as he does in the final dance.”

Akin found out in April that he had been accepted to Cannes. “That was really intense.

The actors had never seen the film and it was barely finished. We sat there in the audience and watched it. It was a once in a lifetime experience.

When the film was done, we got a 15-minute standing ovation. We were all over the moon.”

He found lead actor Gelbakhiani on

Instagram. A casting agent approached the actor and after he was hired, Akin and Gelbakhiani formed a close working relationship. Gelbakhiani is a contemporary dancer, with no formal Georgian dance training, but he picked up the moves quickly.

When the film actually screened in Georgia, there were some protests from certain religious groups but it gave the film added attention. In some countries, some people have walked out during the sex scenes. But in those conservative countries, the film has been even better received for those looking for a movie like this to see a culture they can identify with, says Akin.

A common thread in all Akin’s world is being the outsider, being someone who doesn’t fit in the norm. “The theme here is universal,” he says, “Everyone has this yearning of being 100 percent themselves and telling others to fuck off. Some people feel trapped in their lives. I think at some point in their life everyone has wanted to do something like Merab does – a fuck-you dance.”

MORE INFO “And Then We Danced” Advance Out On Film screening and reception Wednesday, March 4 @ 7pm Midtown Art Cinema Regular engagement starts March 6

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ARTS AT A GLANCE FEBRUARY 28-MARCH 12 FRIDAY, FEB. 28

actions and collaborations. Whether you are new to thinking about feminism or have been through several waves, we invite you to join us and share. People of all genders, levels of political experience, and education are welcome.

7 – 8:30pm

Bi+ Georgia and Out Front Theatre Company, Atlanta Pride Committee, Southern Fried Queer Pride, and The Counter Narrative Project invite you to “In Vibrant Color: Celebrating Queer Black Cinema” which will include a screening of the 2015 HBO film “Bessie” about Bessie Smith, the openly bisexual Empress of The Blues. A post-film discussion panel will feature Ashleigh Atwell, Craig Hardesty, Khafre Abi and Leo Hollen moderated by Taylor Alxndr.

6:30pm Out Front Theatre Company

SATURDAY, MARCH 7

Mix and mingle with LGBTQ+ business professionals, allies, non-profit leaders, and more at OUT Georgia’s February 2020 Fourth Friday, hosted by Creative Approach.

5:30 – 7:30pm

The Auburn Avenue Research Library will host Dr. Maisha S. Akbar, who will discuss her latest publication, “Preaching the Blues: Black Feminist Performance in Lynching Plays.” “Preaching the Blues” examines several lynching plays to foreground black women’s performances as non-normative subjects who challenge white supremacist ideology. Maisha S. Akbar’s scholarship re-maps the study of lynching drama by examining plays that are contingent upon race-based settings in black households versus white households. She also discusses performances of lynching plays at Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) in the South and reviews lynching plays closely tied to black school campuses.

3pm Voices of Note presents the Gay Men’s Chorus in Queens & Queen. The chorus pays tribute to the iconic “queens” of music: Cher, Elton John, Madonna, Whitney H ouston and a special tribute to the wellloved group Queen, featuring special guests Yacht Rock Schooner.

8 – 10pm Lassiter Concert Hall

SATURDAY, FEB. 29

The ATL LGBTQ Book Club is a group for Atlanta’s LGBTQ+ folks and allies to read queer-themed books and books by queer authors. The goal is to have diverse thought-provoking discussions about queer identity, history, and topical issues.

Participants meet and often go to lunch after. February’s book is “Juliet Takes a Breath” by Gabby Rivera.

10 – 11:30am Charis Books and More Atlanta Prime Timers meets today at 3pm.

Phillip Rush Center Annex It’s NunDay Funday, a full night of revelry. Meet at Ansley Square at 7pm and then proceed to First Existentialist Church in Candler Park at 7:30pm, where the Feed and Seed Band are celebrating the Leap Year and have invited The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to attend. At 8:30pm at Mary’s will be a Meet and Greet and Mix and Mingle. At 9:30pm at Corner Tavern Little help spread joy and love to the community by passing out cards and mixing and mingling. The final stop is a return to Ansley Square to spread more joy.

MONDAY, MARCH 2

Trans and Friends is a youth-focused

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EVENT SPOTLIGHT THURSDAY, MARCH 12

A poetic and raw re-imagining of the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, “warplay” requires us to reexamine our assumptions about heroism and love. The journey of the two is a meditation on male intimacy, destiny, and how the constant shadow of war may warp us all. 8pm, through March 28. Out Front Theatre Company (Photo via Facebook/ Diane Haymes Photography) group for trans people, people questioning their own gender and aspiring allies, providing a facilitated space to discuss gender, relevant resources and activism around social issues.

6:30 – 8pm Charis Books and More The PFLAG support group for parents and families of LGBTQ children meets tonight.

7:30 – 9pm Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4

Enjoy an advance screening of the internationally acclaimed gay film “And Then We Danced” tonight at 7pm at the

Midtown Art Cinema before it officially opens March 6, sponsored by Out On Film.

THURSDAY, MARCH 5

Building on the feminist activist tradition of consciousness-raising groups, each month Charis Books and More invites community members to join this lightly facilitated group to talk about issues in their personal lives or in society as a whole that they are trying to process or deconstruct. The group will then use intersectional feminist strategies as tools to help talk through those issues. Group members will share resources, books, websites, and support. The goal is for this group to grow from a place of venting and expressions of solidarity into concrete

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11

In the sweltering heat of the Louisiana Bayou, Ogun Size tenuously reunites with his brother Oshoosi, who has recently been released from prison. When Oshoosi’s charismatic former cellmate Elegba arrives, the two brothers find themselves on a collision course with fate in this unflinching and tender exploration of the complex bonds of brotherhood. From Tarell Alvin McCraney – the Academy Award-winning writer of “Moonlight,” “The Brothers Size” weaves together poetry, music and mythology to magnify the struggle for freedom and the need to belong somewhere.

8pm, through April 11 Actor’s Express

February 28, 2020 Arts at a Glance 17

CLIFF BOSTOCK EATING MY WORDS

Pit Boss: Lots of Sweet Memories and Sugary Sauce A few days after I finished undergrad, I began five years of working for three newspapers in rural Georgia. I first moved to Elberton, where I was educated in virulent racism, church revivals, drunken murder, and barbecue. Every weekend, a cloud of smoke floated over the town, as men lit roadside pit fires where they roasted pigs and chickens.

Some of the pits were behind virtual shacks and others had picnic tables. People gathered at every pit to socialize.

You can get delicious barbecue in Atlanta, but nothing comes close to the lived experience of that time. An exception may be Pit Boss BBQ in Hapeville, not far from the airport. It’s ramshackle and the moment you open the door you are enveloped in smoke.

Open about 10 years and also operating in Stockbridge, Pit Boss has three rooms. The order area was continually crowded on a Friday night, although the cashiers moved things along at amazing speed. There’s a fairly large dining room on the right, but almost all the tables were pushed together and reserved for a team of female athletes from Jersey. To the left is a bar with seven television screens. It was obvious a lot of the customers were regulars.

The most confounding part of the experience at Pit Boss is the menu on a sign above the ordering station. It includes dozens and dozens of items, so plan to step back for a long read. There’s brisket (sold out), chicken (including wings), sausage, and ribs served as sandwiches or straight up with sides. There are also burgers. Annoyingly, you can’t create a combo plate with two types of meat of your choice. It’s ribs and wings or a quarter chicken only. There is one combo that lets you choose any three meats, but it’s $32.

Feeling frantically pressured to order, three of us ended up with pulled pork, back ribs, coleslaw, mac and cheese, Brunswick stew, baked beans, collards, and pork rinds. Yes, pork rinds: a huge serving, hot, crispy, porky, some the size of your palm. As for the meats, I had a problem. I grew up eating the vinegary, sometimes mustardy barbecue sauces of the Carolinas. I do not like the ketchupy, super-

Pit Bull’s pulled pork, cole slaw, cornbread, and Brunswick stew. (Photo by Cliff Bostock)

sweet sauces that rule in Georgia. Now, if the meat is smoked properly with a good dry rub, the sauce is virtually irrelevant, so the back ribs – not spare ribs – at Pit Boss were tasty on their own. Alas, the pulled pork was dry as hell. There was no way to eat it without adding the red candy coating. The hot sauce, by the way, isn’t hot. I tried three different bottles and never got a buzz.

The best of the sides was the collards. The cornbread was weirdly doughy, so there was no soaking up the collards’ pot liquor. The coleslaw was average. The mac and cheese consisted of miserably sticky little shells and mystery cheese. Baked beans and Brunswick stew, just like the sauces, were sugary. I’m talking sweeter than the peach cobbler.

Portions generally are small but, somehow, the kitchen plunked over a pound of meat on my plate, instead of the quarter-pound I ordered. I took half of it home and hit it with the vinegar.

Okay, I sound really down on this place.

But the fact is I loved the experience because it smothered me in more nostalgia than ketchup. I’m also aware that my dislike of ketchup-based sauces is personal. That’s the standard and my friends seemed happy with it. So if you like traditional Georgia ‘cue, this place is for you.

MORE INFO Pit Boss BBQ 856 Virginia Ave., Hapeville, GA 30354 404-768-0036 PitBoss-bbq.com

18 Columnist February 28, 2020 TheGeorgiaVoice.com

photo: Philip Groshong

The Gershwins’

PORGY AND BESS George Gershwin, DuBose & Dorothy Heyward, and Ira Gershwin

Mar 7, 8, 10, 13, 15 | Cobb Energy Centre

404-881-8885 | ATLANTAOPERA.ORG

NIGHTLIFE AT A GLANCE FEBRUARY 28-MARCH 14 FRIDAY, FEB. 28

It’s time! The “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Season 12 Premiere Watch Party is here. Bring your charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent to Guac y Margys.

7:30 – 9:30pm

SATURDAY, FEB. 29

It’s officially beer bust season. Join the coaches and players of The Hotlanta Softball League to celebrate the beginning of the softball season and the first after meeting beer bust and social.

Hideaway exclusive Brooklyn Brewing’s – Stonewall Inn IPA is on the menu and a portion of the cost of this keg is donated to the Stonewall Inn Charity Preservation. A complimentary food buffet is on the menu as well.

4 – 8pm The Hideaway Atlanta Ooh, Heaven really is a place on Earth!

Come get your wings and learn how to fly at Queer Heaven – part drag show,

part live music, part dance party. The event features live music by Taylor Alxndr and Klypi and drag performances by Jade Nite, Lisa Couchlocker, Miss He, Molly Rimswell and Mr. Elle Aye. 10pm – 2:30am The Caledonia Lounge

SUNDAY, MARCH 1

There are divas and then there are DIVAS. Diana Ross brings her legendary songbook to the Fox Theatre tonight.

8pm

TUESDAY, MARCH 3

Enjoy a Retro Video Jukebox and discounted drinks tonight at Woofs Atlanta.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4 Get your Katy Perry on as Thad Stevens hosts Karaoke Night at My Sister’s Room.

FRIDAY, MARCH 6

Join the Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals (MAAP) the First Friday of each month for the It’s Friday – Mix, Mingle and Network evening. This is your chance to leave the work week behind and connect with other like-minded professionals over drinks, laughter, and good professional conversation.

6:30 – 8:30pm TEN Atlanta Expect to laugh a lot as Randy Rainbow visits the Tabernacle Atlanta tonight.

8pm Enjoy good friends and spirits, as well as hot guys, at BJ Roosters tonight.

SATURDAY, MARCH 7

Midtown Moon hosts Ruby’s Redd Light District.

9pm

SUNDAY, MARCH 8

EVENT SPOTLIGHT SUNDAY, MARCH 1

There are divas and then there are DIVAS. Diana Ross brings her legendary songbook to the Fox Theatre tonight.

8pm (Photo via Facebook)

Enjoy free pool and rotating DJs all night long.

Bulldogs

TUESDAY, MARCH 10

Get ready to go back in time to the decade of MTV, cola wars, rad fashion, and gnarly music. It’s ’80s Night once again.

Hostesses Bubba D. Licious and Erica Lee, the PALS queens (Patsy Jon Benet

EVENT SPOTLIGHT FRIDAY, MARCH 6

Expect to laugh a lot as Randy Rainbow visits the Tabernacle Atlanta tonight.

8pm. (Photo via Facebook) and Desiree Storm), and special guest performers will be serving retro realness as they call bingo, put on a show, and help raise money for PALS. Doors open at 6:30 pm and the first game begins at 7:30pm.

Lips Atlanta

THURSDAY, MARCH 12

Blackout night at the Atlanta Eagle starts at 7pm and lasts until 3am.

Get your Line Dance on tonight at Heretic Country night with DJ Kimberly, 8 – 9pm, followed by an open dance at 9pm.

Heretic Atlanta

UPCOMING

SATURDAY, MARCH 14

Join the Atlanta Chargers as they host a beer bust and Lip Sync Drag Battle. Six queens will compete against one another for the crown. The reigning Queen Eden Cakes will be there to pass the crown to the new queen. The event is hosted by Miss Trixie Van-Lear with special guest Bianca Buckwild.

Enjoy beer specials – all you can drink from 5 – 9pm, Jell-o shots and raffle prizes. The show starts at 6pm.

Midtown Moon

20 Nightlife at a Glance February 28, 2020 TheGeorgiaVoice.com

NIGHTLIFE SPOTLIGHT

Out on Television Premieres on Apple TV Jim Farmer Ryan White and Jessica Hargrave first met when they were 10 years old in Atlanta and immediately bonded. Two years later they had made their first film, and later they formed a production company together, Tripod Media. White is currently directing the new five part documentary series “Visible: Out On Television,” and he and Hargrave are also producers.

The series – which debuted Feb. 14 on Apple TV+ – is a comprehensive view of LGBTQ representation on TV, with archival footage and almost a hundred interviews including Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey, Dustin Lance Black, Margaret Cho, Billy Porter and more. Also interviewed are Wanda Sykes and Wilson Cruz, both of whom are executive producers.

White first met with Apple a few years ago at Sundance to discuss the series.

For principal producers David Bender and David Permut, who had pitched the series to Apple earlier, it was a long-time labor of love. Once the project was off the ground, all involved felt it needed to focus both on current television as well as early portrayals. “That was the agreement with Apple from the beginning,” said White. “I said I really liked the idea but I want it be a real documentary film series not just a fast clip show – and I just don’t want it to be modern TV. More than half of the series is ancient history to some people, but I have been really pleased with people’s reaction.”

The first episode looks at some very early portrayals on groundbreaking series such as “All in the Family” and “The Jeffersons” as well as newcasts and how reporters and TV stations chose to cover homosexuality.

White was too young to watch “All in the Family” but admits that some of the progressive episodes he has watched blew his mind. The second and third episodes focus on the ’70s and the ’80s, when AIDS began decimating the gay community.

Oprah Winfrey becomes an unexpected ally during that time.

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Counterclockwise from top left: Janet Mock, Neil Patrick Harris, Lena Waithe, Kate Dillon, and Margaret Cho star in Apple’s “Visible: Out on Television.” (Courtesy photos)

An example is the lack of trans male actors on TV. We can also focus more on the B and T in the LGBTQ community and the diversity in those communities. There is work to be done.”

White and Hargrave collaborated together on the acclaimed 2014 documentary “The Case Against 8” – dealing with the fiveyear battle to overturn Proposition 8 – with White co-directing and Hargrave producing.

The first gay person Hargraves remembers watching on TV was Wilson Cruz in “My So-Called Life.” “I wasn’t an avid TV watcher, but something struck me as being unique and different with this,” she says.

“It’s amazing to be able to work with him.

He’s been an advocate for a long time and it’s great to bring his story and others to life.”

For White, his first remembrance of LGBTQ life was on “The Real World.” He vividly remembers Pedro Zamora on that show and how everyone in America fell in love with him.

The series does a fascinating job of showing the progress the LGBTQ community has made over the decades, but White says the team is careful in the series not to pat themselves on the back. “Of course there has been a tremendous amount of progress,” he says. “But we want to interrogate TV from all sides. A non-binary editor in her 20s watched ‘Soap’ from the ’70s and found it problematic, but people back then embraced it. We can’t feel we have reached the finish level. There are so much frontiers and so much that has moved backward.

The film won the Directing Award at Sundance and was shortlisted for the Academy Awards® for Best Documentary.

Later it won two Emmy Awards. Both White and Hargrave credit that project for giving them a lot of professional and personal confidence.

MORE INFO “Visible: Out On Television” is currently airing on Apple TV+

February 28, 2020 Nightlife Spotlight 21

MELISSA CARTER THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

Pancake Surprise!

I love to bake and look forward to any opportunity to do so. Let’s not confuse this with cooking, since the two are quite different and when it comes to the latter I honestly could burn water. However, something about baking intrigues me, and I look forward to learning more about it. The latest lesson had my son and I howling with laughter, in of all places the bathroom.

My mother, Millie Pete, taught me how to bake. She was a woman who could do it all, but I think she was a better baker than a cook. She allowed me to help her with cakes and cookies, and eventually, I was able to pull off these delicacies on my own. Millie Pete even introduced me and my best friend to chocolate chip pancakes, a breakfast item that still makes me think of her wherever I see it.

When heading to college, I left baking behind. It wasn’t until my son was born some 22 years later that I considered taking back out the mixing bowls. The reason was my mother had always baked my birthday cake, and I found I wanted to continue that tradition. This new motivation to bake evolved into an excitement to try new things and hold parties with such offerings. This past holiday I hosted a Boxing Day Bake during which friends came over the day after Christmas to many baked goods I had prepared during the holiday. Soon after my son’s perusal through Youtube videos led to people creating artistic pancakes on a table top griddle … and I was all in.

As many of you know Mr. Carter is currently a big fan of PacMan. Yes, the yellow pieshaped phenomena of the ’80s is his new passion, so I was very excited to order the aforementioned griddle. It came with several squeeze bottles to control your surface art, so once I mixed the batter I divided it among the bottles along with yellow, black, and red food coloring in each. I used the black batter to outline PacMan, some pellets, and Blinky 22 Columnist February 28, 2020

the red ghost while Mr. Carter filled in the color. We enjoyed our makings, ate some great pancakes, and thought nothing more about it.

Later that night my son asked for help in the bathroom since certain activities there require a mom’s help. As he stood to pull up his pants I began to laugh. He turned to see what I was laughing at and began to crack up himself. I never thought about the effect that much food coloring would have on the digestive system and that the digestive system would want to get rid of it, but upon seeing something as green as a St. Patrick’s Day shamrock laying before us, I understood some warning should be given to those who we feed similar pancakes.

That’s what baking for me is all about, the experiences to bring people together.

Someone may love the smell of the kitchen, someone may love the taste of what you made, someone may hate the thing you made but is willing to help you make it better, or you can simply make a little boy laugh about poop.

One of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta, Melissa’s worked for B98.5 and Q100.

Catch her daily on theProgressive Voices podcast “She Persisted.” Tweet her! @MelissaCarter TheGeorgiaVoice.com

RYAN LEE SOMETIMES ‘Y’

Sleeping with Other People’s Husbands He was the last person I expected to make my hotline bling after the dozens of photos he was tagged in on Facebook the previous weekend.

snappyservices.com Snappy Makes Homes Happy!

“You should probably enjoy your honeymoon,” I replied with a kiss-blowing emoji. “Soak up this special moment, and maybe we can connect soon.”

I closed the text message and reflexively tapped the Facebook icon for distraction. In the few seconds it took my newsfeed to load, I contemplated having just casually agreed to have sex with a married man.

More specifically, with a man I knew was married, freshly married, because I had just seen pictures of him and his groom. He and his husband. He and his husband’s parents.

Before I could resolve the ethics of my text conversation, a picture appeared on my newsfeed announcing that another of my regular hookups was now married. I was suddenly woozy from how wrong I had been in thinking the legalization of same-sex marriage wouldn’t have any impact on the daily life of a gay bachelor with no interest in getting married.

when you excuse yourself from knowing the rules that govern their marriage.

I know the rules that govern straight husbands, and how most of them violate those rules by sleeping with someone other than their wives.

I know that, out of a mixture of kindness and laziness, society now assumes those same rules, the rules that straight men violate all the time, ought to apply to gay husbands, and many of us gaily accept those rules to govern our love, to make our marriages real.

But there are some gay couples who believe their relationship is real, their love worthy of commitment and protection, and they exchange vows without the expectation of sexual exclusivity. If you should ever have the chance to spend the night with this type of couple, together, some of my favorite …

Hooking up with a married man has always been nonnegotiable for me, with the caveat that screening for marital status is traditionally lax. However, being a “married man” had always meant to me that there was a wife involved, which guaranteed that there were secrets, deception, and emotional damage attached to such a liaison, and so it was not something in which I wanted to participate.

Sorry, different column. For now, most gay men seem to accept the rule that lifelong love requires sexual fidelity, and if they enter into marriage, they expect monogamy from their partn – from their husbands. Which forces me to deliberate what, if any, obligation I have to a spouse that I don’t know, someone so naive that I, with all of my deliberation, am the least of their worries.

I don’t automatically assign such sinister absolutes – secrets, deception, emotional damage – to a married man who has a husband, and I realize that’s a self-serving courtesy. It’s harder to feel guilty about violating someone’s marriage, hurting their unsuspecting partner,

It’s all something new to keep it in mind while wading through the post-Obergefell dating pool. Legalized same-sex marriage wasn’t supposed to make my carefree love life eligible for a “Jerry Springer” episode or “World Star” video.

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February 28, 2020 Columnist 23