The Georgia Voice - 3/2/12 Vol.2, Issue 26

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NEWS

OUTSPOKENIN THEIR OWN WORDS “We didn’t do this to get famous, or something like that — we did this because after three deployments and four years knowing each other, we finally told each other how we felt.”

LGBT job bill stalls in Ga. House. Page 4 Change Atlanta leader sorry for questioning Brandon White. Page 5 YouthPride sued for unpaid rent; told to leave Inman Park premises. Page 9

— Sgt. Brandon Morgan, explaining his homecoming kiss with his partner, which went viral after it was posted on the Facebook page Gay Marines. (Joemygod.blogspot.com, Feb. 25)

Atlanta protesters call ex-gay conference a ‘sham.’ Page 9

VOICES Editorial: Super depressing Tuesday. Page 12 Mike Ritter Cartoon: Santorum ‘surge’ to trickle or keep running hot? Page 12

HOME & REAL ESTATE Picture perfect: design tips from a home stager. Page 14 Modern make-over: products to freshen up the look of your space. Page 16 ‘Glimmer of hope’ seen in Atlanta’s real estate market. Page 18 Mortgage advice for LGBT couples. Page 20

A&E New play about unlikely friendship angers folk art legend’s family. Page 25 ‘Bravolebrity’ Brad Goreski brings new memoir to Atlanta. Page 27 Amy Ray, Mary Gauthier and Bitch perform local shows. Page 29

COMMUNITY Seasons of Love, Purim Off Ponce offer good fun for good causes. Page 31 Personality spotlight: Nate Hall and the Roy G. Biv Project. Page 32 Business spotlight: All-Star Cleaning’s dirty job. Page 32 That’s what she said: Melissa Carter and her ‘home improvement.’ Page 38 Domestically Disturbed: Topher Payne sees things clearly. Page39

CALENDAR Pages 24-25

“I don’t perform marriage ceremonies because we are in a state that does not have marriage equality, and until it does, I am not going to partially apply the law to one group of people that doesn’t apply to another group of people. And it’s kind of oxymoronic for me to perform ceremonies that can’t be performed for me, so I’m not going to do it.”

Publicity photo

Federal court rules Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Page 11

BY THE NUMBERS

FOUND ON FACEBOOK

26,470

Publicity photo via Facebook

Jerusalem House in running for $250,000 Home Depot grant. Page 10

Photo via Gay Marines on Facebook

Soulforce Equality Ride plans stops in Atlanta. Page 10

— Dallas County District Judge Tonya Parker, the first openly LGBT African-American elected official in Texas, on why she will not perform marriages for heterosexuals. (Dallas Voice, Feb. 22)

People who have “liked” a gay Marine homecoming kiss photo since it was posted on Facebook Feb. 25.

21,363 People who “like” the Facebook page of the National Organization for Marriage, which is leading the fight against same-sex marriage.

1,028,904 People who “like” the Facebook page of the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBT political group

193,647

People who have joined the Facebook group “1 million people who support Ellen for JC Penney.” Thousands more have liked similar pages.

44,440

People who “like” the original One Million Moms who opposed Ellen as spokesperson for JC Penney because she is gay Editor’s note: Numbers accurate as of Feb. 27

“If they know me first as a sheriff, as a police officer who has responded to, literally, thousands and thousands of emergencies … and when regular people see those accomplishments and those results first, then understand at a later point that I am gay, it changes people’s beliefs and perceptions and understanding.”

— Congressional candidate Paul Babeu, sheriff of Pinal County, Ariz., who came out after a newspaper published allegations that he threatened to deport an ex-boyfriend.

Babeu denied the charge but acknowledged being gay.

(Washington Blade, Feb. 27)

“I feel like a girl would be more critical. Like, much more — I think there’s gonna be a lot more feedback from a woman than a guy.”

— Actress Ellie Kemper, asked by Ryan Seacrest in an Oscar night red carpet interview why she was nervous kissing her “Bridesmaids” co-star Wendi McLendonCovey in the film (Eonline.com, Feb. 26)

Publicity photo via Facebook

03.02.12

“It has always been pretty private, kind of a live and let live mentality, but at this point I feel like I’d be kind of doing a disservice to kids who are struggling, and the whole bullying thing is big right now, by dodging it. So yeah, I do identify myself as a gay man.”

— Actor Phillip Spaeth, who plays gay character Dennis on the new NBC musical show “Smash,” coming out in a recent interview. (AfterElton.com, Feb. 27)

41

GA Voice

March 2, 2012

News

www.theGAVoice.com

LGBT job bill languishes in Ga. House Judiciary subcommittee Cameras banned from hearing after video of anti-gay speaker goes viral

By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com In a move some legislators say they’ve never seen before, the media was banned from taking photos and video during a public hearing Monday, Feb. 27, at the Georgia General Assembly that included testimony on HB 630, the State Fair Employment Practices Act. The bill, which would ban job discrimination against state employees based on sexual orientation and gender identity, was discussed for a second time by a subcommittee of the House Judiciary Committee.

No vote was taken on the bill Feb. 27. It was tabled at a hearing on Feb. 21, but Rep. Mike Jacobs (R-Atlanta), who presided over the Feb. 27 subcommittee hearing and is a co-sponsor of the bill, said the legislation remains “alive” in his subcommittee.

“Well, I don’t know what happens next at this point. We’re just at a point where there’s a lot of legislation pending and inability to get it all done prior to crossover day,” Jacobs said.

March 5 is expected to be this session’s crossover day, the last day a bill can be approved in one chamber and then passed to the other.

Testimony for HB 630 came at the end of a more than two hour hearing that included several other bills. State Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates), who is openly gay and sponsor of the bill, was the only person to testify about the bill; no opponents were heard.

“I want to address some of concerns of the definitions of sexual orientation and gender identity. I did some research … and there has been no judicial expansion of the term to include pedophilia or bestiality or any of the other terms mentioned in the report that was provided to the committee at the last hearing,” Drenner said.

Drenner was responding to the Feb. 21 testimony by Tanya Ditty, state director for the Concerned Women for America, who stated the bill would open the door to mandating the state hire pedophiles and necrophiliacs.

“What’s going to protect our children if a pedophiliac comes in and gets a teaching job, is a bus driver, is a custodian? And they could be people that just want to prey on children and they would be protected by this law,” Ditty said at the Feb. 21 hearing where the bill was tabled in 3-2 vote along party lines.

Ditty also said there were 23 “sexual orientations” that include pedophilia, transsexuality, zoophilia and necrophilia and presented committee members a dubious report on sexual orientation and gender identity.

Ditty ‘harassed’ after video?

Six state troopers were stationed in Room 406 and in the hallway of the Coverdell Building where the Feb. 27 hearing took place, with one officer brusquely halting members of the media from taking photos and video at the request of Rep. Wendell Willard (R-Sandy Springs).

Wendell is chair of the House Judiciary Committee. He attended the subcommittee meeting and is also a co-sponsor of HB 630.

Willard made the motion to disallow cameras during the hearing because he said video from the Feb. 21 Judiciary subcommittee was “abused” after it was posted to the internet.

While not specifically naming the video, Willard was no doubt speaking of the video of Ditty’s remarks. The video went viral and apparently Ditty was “harassed” by LGBT people not happy with her testimony.

Willard said he supported everyone’s right to the First Amendment and to hold differing opinions, but did not think it fair to “abuse” that privilege by posting video of a person’s statements at a public forum onto the internet.

Rep. Roger Bruce (D-Atlanta) disagreed with Willard, saying to deny cameras in the hearing was a violation of the U.S. Constitution.

“I do request people try to respect and honor a difference of opinion, but cannot support this motion to infringe on freedom of the press,” Bruce said.

Responded Willard, “I’m not asking the press to be removed. I’m just asking they not photograph or videotape this session.”

The motion to bar media from photographing and videotaping the session was approved in a voice vote.

Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham said there was still hope for the bill and he urged voters to contact their state representatives to support HB 630. He also asked voters to contact Rep. Jacobs and Rep. Willard directly to ask them that the bill get a hearing before the full Judiciary Committee.

Graham was also surprised by the camera ban in the hearing but said the testimony given last week by Ditty was filled with “dangerous inaccuracies.”

“They know that their report is full of dangerous inaccuracies about the LGBT community. They are embarrassed by their own testimony. People are making their own decisions what they [Concerned Women for America] stand for,” he said.

Bruce, the lone vote against banning cameras, said he’s worked in the General Assembly for 10 years and has never seen cameras banned from a public hearing before.

“If you’re doing what you really believed in, it shouldn’t matter who hears it as far as I’m concerned,” Bruce said.

Jacobs, who chaired this subcommittee meeting and has been a legislator under the Gold Dome for eight years, also said he had

What will HB 630 do?

There are 24 states plus Washington, D.C., that bar job discrimination against state employees based on sexual orientation, while 12 also ban job bias against state employees based on gender identity, according to Georgia Equality.

HB 630 would also bring the state in line with the nondiscrimination practices of Athens, Atlanta, Clarkston, College Park, Decatur, Doraville, East Point, Macon, Savannah and Tybee Island. Georgia counties that have nondiscrimination policies in place are Athens-Clarke County, DeKalb and Fulton, said State Rep. Karla Drenner, sponsor of the bill.

A survey taken of 450 Georgia registered voters from Jan. 27-Feb. 5, 2011, by the Schapiro Group, showed that 76 percent supported HB 630, Drenner said.

What the bill WOULD do: State Rep. Wendell Willard (R-Sandy Springs) banned cameras and video at the Feb. 27 House Judiciary subcommittee that included discussion on HB 630, a bill that would prohibit discrimination against LGBT state employees. (Photo by Dyana Bagby)

never seen cameras banned from a public hearing before.

“The subcommittee serves at the pleasure of the chairman of the committee. It was his call,” Jacobs said.

“I think, personally, cameras should be permitted, particularly for members for the press.

It’s a call the chairman of the committee is allowed to make,” Jacobs said.

Interestingly, video of Ditty’s testimony was posted to the Concerned Women for America website but has since been removed.

Willard didn’t take kindly to questions from the GA Voice. Here’s the transcript of an interview after the hearing: GA Voice: Why was photography not allowed and video not allowed?

Willard: Because the right of taking photography was abused last time on this bill’s consideration.

GA Voice: How was it abused?

Willard: You let me finish.

GA Voice: Yes sir.

Willard: Who you do you represent?

GA Voice: The GA Voice newspaper.

Willard: Georgia who?

GA Voice: The GA Voice newspaper.

Willard: I understand it was through someone representing your group that this information was put on the internet.

GA Voice: Yes, why is that abuse?

Willard: I’m not going to talk to you anymore.

GA Voice: Why was that an abuse?

Willard: I find it an abuse. That’s why.

• Amend the state Fair Employment Practices act to add “sexual orientation” and “gender identity.”

• Put Georgia’s employment policies in line with major Georgia employers including Delta Air Lines, Coca-Cola, United Parcel Service, Wal-Mart, SunTrust and Newell Rubbermaid.

• Provide protections to LGBT people working in state universities and colleges.

• Provide clear instructions to agencies, supervisors and managers on how to prevent discrimination in public employment. “This would also help the state avoid litigation defending against discriminatory practices,” Drenner testified.

In December, the U.S. 11th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of Vandy Beth Glenn, who was fired from her job as a legislative editor for the Georgia General Assembly for being transgender. Glenn was fired in 2007 and then sued the state, winning after a four-year costly battle for the state.

What the bill WOULD NOT do: • Mandate quotas.

• The bill does not address private employers nor does it effect K-12 employment, Drenner said.

• It would not provide “additional or special remedies” in the code other than adding sexual orientation and gender identity.

News

www.theGAVoice.com

March 2, 2012

GA Voice

5

Change Atlanta under fire for defending alleged anti-gay attackers Gay group organizer apologizes for ‘appearing’ to turn back on Brandon White

were first organizing their group.

Graham said he supported the group because it is important to support young voices.

When Change Atlanta asked to use the Phillip Rush Center to hold meetings, Graham said he had no issues with it — many groups not affiliated with the Rush Center, or the other organizations that consider the Rush Center home, regularly hold meetings there.

Graham said he was aware of the controversy surrounding Change Atlanta and its recent stances on extending support to the alleged attackers.

The attack on White needs to be thoroughly investigated by law enforcement, he said.

“What happened to Brandon White was just wrong,” Graham said. “I hope all sides can agree this was a violent attack and I have to wonder if some people actually have the best interests of the LGBT community and the one true victim in mind.”

By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com Many in Atlanta’s LGBT community are criticizing Change Atlanta on Facebook and various websites for the group’s apparent about-face in its support of Brandon White, the young gay man who was beaten in a filmed attack that went viral on the internet.

Now one of the leaders of the fledgling group says he has “learned his lesson” in how he dealt with the incident, which he acknowledges included questioning whether White was lying about knowing the attackers, “cuddling up” with one of the suspect’s defense attorneys on TV and not understanding that many in the LGBT community have been victims of anti-gay violence.

“Yes, we have gotten some flack. And I’m glad I’m learning this lesson at 21 rather and not at 41,” Devin Barrington Ward said told the GA Voice in an interview Feb. 28. “My youth and immaturity played into this. I will always reflect back on this when I’m 60 or 70.”

Change Atlanta is not specifically an LGBT advocacy organization but has several gay leaders. Ward said he wants to take responsibility for his actions, and how he deals with his mistake will determine if he will be welcomed back into the larger LGBT community.

“This is a touchy subject in the LGBT community. Many people have told me they have been victims, their friends have been victims or their family members have been victims. I’m a young man and I made a mistake,” Ward said.

“I realize whether or not he knew the attackers, a crime occurred. I want full accountability [from the suspects] so we can get to a healing stage.”

Ward added he was now having his “man up” moment to rebuild trust. He said he hopes a forum will be held soon with representatives of the FBI to discuss what exactly constitutes a hate crime.

“This happened in an impoverished community where these teenagers [alleged attackers] had no jobs, were not in school. We now have four young men under 20 whose lives have been dramatically effected, specifically by the actions of three who did it to the one,” Ward added.

“What happened was unwarranted regardless of any prior relationships.”

A rush to ‘15 minutes of fame’?

The Feb. 4 beating, where the attackers can be heard shouting “no faggots in Jack City” at White, galvanized Change Atlanta and other activists to take action. They held a Feb. 8 community discussion at the Phillip Rush Center and organized a Feb. 11 rally where more than 100 people — including U.S. Rep. John Lewis and openly gay

Ward: ‘Want to make my wrong right’

Devin Barrington Ward (right) of Change Atlanta now says he is sorry for doubting Brandon White after the gay man was brutally beaten by gang members in southwest Atlanta. (Photo by Dyana Bagby)

state Rep. Rashad Taylor — braved frigid temperatures to call for justice for the attackers, as well as healing for the impoverished Pittsburgh community where the assault took place.

At the rally, Taylor even promised to introduce a state hate crimes bill this session, drawing applause from members of Change Atlanta. That bill has yet to be introduced.

But in the days following the rally and arrests of the three suspects, Change Atlanta — with just over 200 “likes” on its Facebook page — began publicly questioning on a local TV station whether White knew his attackers.

Members suggested White lied to the media about why he was attacked and that this crime should not be considered a hate crime. Currently, the FBI is continuing to investigate the beating as a possible hate crime.

The gay activists with Change Atlanta also met with one of the alleged attacker’s mother and his defense attorney — also with TV cameras filming their actions.

“Brandon needs to come forward and make his wrong right,” Ward told CBS Atlanta in a Feb. 22 story.

“In the beginning we thought this was a random attack because Brandon was gay,” added Terik Jackson, also of Change Atlanta, to CBS Atlanta.

Activists questioning White’s motives also said White was threatening to “out” the attackers for being on the “down low” — or being secretly gay.

Christine Koehler, a lesbian attorney repre-

senting White, said the actions of Change Atlanta with the media were “reckless.”

“Brandon did not know his attackers and it is sickening to think that people would say that without asking Brandon and are instead taking the word of one of the attackers,” she said.

“The idea that our community, or the community at large, will reconcile in front of cameras is either naive or disingenuous,” she said.

“To me, this seems more and more like a race to get 15 minutes of fame.”

Change Atlanta new to Atlanta’s LGBT scene

Change Atlanta, formed last year to empower young people, held its first event during Black Gay Pride over Labor Day Weekend. Its State of Young Gay America summit included such panelists as Atlanta City Council member Michael Julian Bond, Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham and Darlene Hudson, a founder of the State of Black Gay America Summit held each year at Black Gay Pride.

A portion of Change Atlanta’s mission statement includes: “[T]he greater city of Atlanta has expressed their distaste and ultimate ignorance of who this LGBTQ generation is and where they are headed. Countless citizens have announced their objection to gatherings and events that are targeted toward this community in fear of violence and unrest to their own communities.”

Graham, a veteran LGBT activist, said he met Ward and other members of Change Atlanta, including Terik Jackson, last year when they

At a Feb. 25 Change Atlanta meeting and press conference at the Rush Center, Ward said he supported White but also did not want to see the three suspects — black teenagers — thrown into a “broken” judicial system.

“I stand behind Brandon White, and I stand behind Brandon White because he is my brother, even though I never personally met Brandon…

Just as much as he is my brother so are the individuals that attacked him, and we have to as a community talk how we bridge the gap between the victim and the ones who inflicted the pain upon the victim,” Ward said then.

Ward said Feb. 28 he knows he has a lot of fences to mend, but he is willing to do the work.

“I want to make my wrong right, to use those words I used with Brandon to apply to myself,” Ward said.

“I’m working on mending my relationship with the community and most importantly with Brandon,” he added. “I hope he’s able to understand I’m only one year older than he is. And I’m willing to continue working on relationships, coalition building. We’re not always going to get along, but if the community will allow me a seat at the table I would like to be there.”

Ward said that defense attorney Jay Abt — who is representing Dorian Moragne, the suspect who allegedly threw a tire on White after he was kicked and knocked to the ground — did not seek him out for help.

“I reached out to him because I wanted to speak to [Moragne’s] mother,” Ward said. “I wanted to know what was in his mind, where the homophobia and violence comes from. She didn’t raise her child to be this way.

“Homophobia is so perpetual in the black community, the cycle of violence, and I wanted us to address that,” he added.

— Matt Schafer contributed

News

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March 2, 2012

GA Voice

9

YouthPride sued for unpaid rent; told to leave Inman Park premises Nonprofit’s challenges continue to mount

By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com YouthPride has not paid rent since June 2011 and is being sued for back rent and late fees totaling more than $40,000, according to court documents filed Feb. 17 with the Fulton County Magistrate Court.

The metro-Atlanta nonprofit serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer youth ages 13-24 has not yet received an official eviction notice from the Fulton Sheriff’s Department, but the process is expected to happen in the near future, according to officials with the Magistrate Court.

The complaint was filed on Friday, Feb. 17, said Peter Morgan, the attorney representing Inman Park United Methodist Church, YouthPride’s landlord. YouthPride rents space from Inman Park UMC located on Edgewood Avenue.

Included in the complaint filed by the church is a request that a notice be taped to the door of YouthPride by Fulton County Sheriff’s officers mandating a representative or attorney of YouthPride appear at the Magistrate Court to answer the writ of possession — the eviction notice — in writing or orally within seven days of it being served.

That notice had not been served as of press time on Feb. 28 and no money has been paid to the church since the complaint was filed, Morgan said.

formed to assess the viability of YouthPride was to issue a formal report on Feb. 24 to the public, but it was not released as of press time Feb. 28.

A town hall meeting to discuss YouthPride’s future is scheduled for March 6 at St. Mark United Methodist Church.

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com YouthPride community meeting Tuesday, March 6, 7 p.m.

St. Mark United Methodist Church 781 Peachtree St. NE, Atlanta, GA 30308

Church continually asked for payment

“If YouthPride receives any formal notification related to what you have identified, YouthPride will act accordingly,” YouthPride Executive Director Terence McPhaul said, when asked by GA Voice about the agency’s plan in light of the court filing.

Board president Jordan Myers did not respond to a request for comment.

Rent $4,099 per month

According to the complaint, YouthPride has not paid rent since June 2011. YouthPride entered into an agreement with Inman Park United Methodist Church on July 22, 2010, that was to expire on Dec. 31, 2010. The July lease was signed by Myers.

In December 2010 — the last time the YouthPride board of directors is known to have met, according to Myers and McPhaul — YouthPride and the church entered into a lease extension and rent was agreed to be $4,099 paid on a month-by-month basis. If rent was paid after the fifth of the month, a 10 percent fee was tacked on, according to court documents.

The December extension lease was signed

by McPhaul, who wrote that he was signing “for the Board of Trustees of YouthPride, Inc.”

Inman Park United Methodist Church is suing to make YouthPride leave its space for not paying rent for more than eight months.(Photo by Dyana Bagby)

The lease agreement also states that if YouthPride did not pay rent 10 days after the first of the month, “the landlord may terminate the lease by giving written notice to tenant and recover damages in an amount equal to all rental payments due.”

“The lease provides if tenant remains in possession of the premises after expiration of the term of the lease without the landlord’s [permission], tenants shall be liable to landlord for twice the monthly rent ($8,198) for each month or part thereof during which tenant remains in possession of the premises,” the complaint also states.

An independent, volunteer task force

Protesters call ex-gay conference a ‘sham’ Through chants and signs that read “Gay by nature, proud by choice,” some 50 people made sure those attending the Love Won Out Conference on Feb. 18 heard their message of “you can’t pray the gay away.”

Exodus International hosted Love Won Out at Midway Church in Villa Rica, Ga. The group aims to show how through prayer and dedication, LGBT people can change or at least not act on their sexual orientation and gender identity.

Members of Get Equal GA, Get Equal Ohio, Queer Justice League, Georgia Equality, Act Out Savannah, PFLAG Atlanta, PFLAG Macon, the Church Without Walls, South Georgia Pride (Valdosta), and the Atlanta Chapter of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were among those who participated in the protest. Also participating were Truth Wins Out and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

“I’m glad the community showed up to stand up for ourselves and show everyone you can’t pray the gay away,” said Art Izzard, a Queer Justice League member who helped organize the protest. “Exodus is a sham. It doesn’t work.”

— Dyana Bagby

Inman Park UMC sent a certified letter to YouthPride on Dec. 7, 2011, demanding payment for unpaid rent. McPhaul signed that he received the letter, according to documents filed with the complaint.

“Defendants nonetheless failed or refused to pay the amount of rent due,” according to the complaint.

On Jan. 14, 2012, another certified letter was sent to McPhaul of a default notice, again demanding payment. That notice was ignored as well, according to the complaint.

Then, on Feb. 12, the church sent another certified letter to McPhaul terminating its lease with the nonprofit.

The lawsuit also states: • YouthPride fails and has failed to pay rent now due.

• Plaintiff has terminated YouthPride’s right to possess the premises, and YouthPride is holding the premises over and beyond the term.

• Plaintiff desires and has demanded possession of the premises, and the same has been refused by YouthPride.

• Plaintiff requests that a warrant issue for the removal of YouthPride and its property from the premises.

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GA Voice

March 2, 2012

News

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Soulforce Equality Ride plans stops in Atlanta Soulforce, an organization dedicated to fighting anti-LGBT religious and political oppression, takes its message to the road again this spring, planning stops in 12 cities around the country. The Equality Ride visits Atlanta and Athens, Ga., on March 5-9.

The itinerary was still being planned at press time, but Georgia events currently scheduled include a discussion on spiritual non-violence at the University of Georgia in Athens on March 5, a conversation with Muslims for Progressive Values in Atlanta on March 7, and “From the Mountain Top: A Dialogue for Black LGBTQ Folks of Faith” at Atlanta’s Virginia-Highland Church on March 9. Details about the events will be posted online at www.equalityride.com The goal of the Soulforce Equality Ride is to both inspire its young participants and engage with anti-gay religious institutions.

“Now on its fifth tour, the Equality Ride has visited over 70 fundamentalist, anti-LGBTQ religious colleges and universities and has allowed emerging young leaders to unite in the struggle for common equality and justice for LGBTQ people and other oppressed minorities,” leaders explained in a press release.

This year’s 17 riders include Chelsea Fullerton from Athens, Ga., a 2011 UGA graduate.

“Social and religious justice for the LGBT

Atlanta HIV nonprofit in running for $250,000 Home Depot grant Jerusalem House, Atlanta’s oldest and largest provider of housing for homeless and lowincome individuals affected by HIV/AIDS, is in the running for a $250,000 grant from the Home Depot Foundation.

The local nonprofit was also awarded a $25,000 grant last year as part of the Aprons in Action campaign where users of the social networking site Facebook voted for one of three nonprofits per month.

Each of the monthly finalists — a diverse group made up of nonprofits from around the country — will now have one month to secure as many votes for their organization as possible.

Voting kicked off March 1 and runs through March 31. Supporters can vote once a day, every day, through the end of the month.

“Winning $25,000 from The Home Depot during the first round of Aprons in Action was such an honor, and we are so thankful for the recognition,” said Charlie Frew, executive director of Jerusalem House. “If we win the grand prize of $250,000 from The Home Depot Foundation, it will transform our organization by enabling us to modernize our onsite Learning

This year’s Soulforce Equality Riders will visit Georgia from March 5 to March 9.

(Photo courtesy Soulforce)

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com Soulforce Equality Ride Georgia stops, March 5-9 www.equalityride.com community has been an issue on my heart for some time, and I believe wholeheartedly in the unyielding yet loving spirit of the ride,” Fullerton said.

Other stops on this year’s Equality Ride include Nashville, Chicago, Minneapolis, Oklahoma City, New Orleans, Dallas, Abilene, Denver, Salt Lake City, Portland and San Francisco.

— Laura Douglas-Brown

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com Home Depot Aprons in Action Vote online here: www.facebook.com/homedepotfoundation Center used by all of our 300 residents, including 125 children.”

Frew said the 3,000 square-foot Learning Center would be “completely redesigned” to create “a comprehensive learning facility, and incorporating more environmentally-friendly methods for water and energy conservation.”

An amphitheatre is also planned.

The $25,000 prize enabled construction of a retaining wall, landscaping and building a safe path for children walking to school buses and mothers who use public transportation. The project will be finished this month, according to a press release.

“Aprons in Action is our $1 million effort to support the most active and engaged nonprofit organizations across the country,” said Kelly Caffarelli, president of The Home Depot Foundation, in the press release. “Through Aprons in Action, we have already distributed $500,000 to 44 deserving organizations from across the nationwide Team Depot network, allowing them to continue their great work serving our communities.”

— Ryan Watkins and Laura Douglas-Brown

News

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March 2, 2012

GA Voice

11

Federal court rules DOMA unconstitutional House leadership appeals decision on federal recognition of gay marriage

By Laura Douglas-Brown lbrown@thegavoice.com In a ruling legal advocates said “spells doom” for the federal ban on recognizing gay marriage, a district court judge declared the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. But Republican leaders in the U.S. House have already announced their intent to appeal the decision.

The ruling, handed down Feb. 22 by Judge Jeffery White of the District Court for the Northern District of California, finds that DOMA violates the equal protection clause of the United States Constitution.

The case, Golinski v. United States Office of Personnel Management, involves Karen Golinski, who sued the Office of Personnel Management after she was denied access to family health benefits for her wife, Amy Cunninghis. The couple was married in California in 2008, before Proposition 8 ended gay marriage in the state.

“The Court finds that DOMA, as applied to Ms. Golinski, violates her right to equal protec-

tion of the law under the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution by, without substantial justification or rational basis, refusing to recognize her lawful marriage to prevent provision of health insurance coverage to her spouse,” states the ruling by Judge White, who was appointed to the federal bench by President George W. Bush.

“Accordingly, the Court issues a permanent injunction enjoining defendants, and those acting at their direction or on their behalf, from interfering with the enrollment of Ms. Golinski’s wife in her family health benefits plan,” it states.

The case challenged only Section 3 of DOMA, which defines “marriage” as “only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife” and “spouse” as “only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife” for the purposes of federal law. Other important sections of DOMA include Section 2, which allows states not to recognize same-sex marriages performed by other states.

Golinski was represented by Lambda Legal and the law firm of Morrison & Foerster.

“The demise of this discriminatory statute is long overdue, and the court’s ruling today makes that clear,” said Rita Lin, associate at Morrison & Foerster, said in a press release.

“DOMA produces circumstances where certain federal employees are compensated differently

Karen Golinski (right) is suing the government because, as a federal employee, she is not allowed to include her wife, Amy Cunninghis, on her health insurance. (Photo courtesy Lambda Legal)

than their coworkers because of their sexual orientation. That’s unconstitutional.”

The law was defended in court by the Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group of the United States House of Representatives after President Obama’s Department of Justice declared that it believed Section 3 of DOMA to be unconstitutional and would no longer defend it in court, although the federal government would continue to enforce the law until it was overturned through either Congress or the courts.

“This ruling, the first to come after the Justice Department announced it would no longer defend this discriminatory statute in court, spells doom for DOMA,” said Tara Borelli, staff attorney in Lambda Legal’s Western Regional Office in Los Angeles.

If so, it is only the beginning of the end.

The bi-partisan house group — led by House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) — filed notice Feb. 24 of its intent to appeal the ruling, the Washington Blade reported. The two Democratic members objected to the appeal.

The Feb. 22 district court decision disputes many of the justifications for DOMA cited by Congress when the law was approved in 1996, and reiterated by BLAG, including that banning gay couples from marrying is necessary to encourage procreation and child-rearing.

The district court ruling also disagrees with the argument that DOMA is needed for “defending and nurturing traditional, opposite-sex marriage.”

“DOMA does nothing to encourage samesex married individuals to marry members of the opposite sex because they are already married to a member of the same sex,” the court notes. “Nor does the denial of benefits to samesex couples do anything to encourage oppositesex couples to get married.”

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GA Voice

March 2, 2012

Voices

The Georgia Voice

1904 Monroe Dr., Suite 130 Atlanta, GA 30324 404-815-6941 | www.thegavoice.com

www.theGAVoice.com

VOICES OPINION & REACTION

EDITORIAL

Super depressing Tuesday

Deputy Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

Ga. GOP primary a reality check for attitudes on LGBT rights

Web Manager: Ryan Watkins rwatkins@thegavoice.com

Editorial by Laura Douglas-Brown

Editor: Laura Douglas-Brown lbrown@thegavoice.com

Art Director: Bo Shell bshell@thegavoice.com Contributors: Rob Andrews, Melissa Carter, Jim Farmer, Shannon Hames, Ryan Lee, Topher Payne, Mike Ritter, Matt Schafer, Steve Warren, Justin Ziegler

BUSINESS

Publisher: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com Associate Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com Sales Executive: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

BOARD OF ADVISERS

Richard Eldredge, Sandy Malcolm, Lynn Pasqualetti, Robert Pullen All material in the Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by the Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return.

The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request.

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The editorial positions of the Georgia Voice are expressed in editorials and in editor’s notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Georgia Voice and its staff.

To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Email submissions to editor@thegavoice. com or mail to the address above.

March 6 is so-called Super Tuesday, when voters in Georgia and nine other states will go to the polls for the Presidential Preference Primary.

With President Barack Obama unchallenged for the Democratic nomination, this year the only “preference” for LGBT voters may be which Republican demagogue we prefer to have bash us all the way to November.

To be certain, the GOP has never been exactly friendly to LGBT rights — especially on the national level, where pandering to the social conservative base overshadows the good intentions of more moderate Republicans.

Still, it’s hard to recall a year when the Republican presidential field has been so uniformly and vocally hostile on gay issues. A recent GA Voice cover story by writer Ryan Lee and political cartoonist Mike Ritter panned the candidates as a circus, but their shenanigans grow less entertaining every day.

That Rick Perry’s Christian moralizing was ever considered viable in a country supposedly built on the separation of church and state is disgusting.

That two hypocrites like Mitt Romney (who was in favor of civil unions for gay couples before he wasn’t) and Newt Gingrich (who wants to ban you from marrying while he commits adultery and divorces repeatedly) are still taken seriously is depressing.

And that Rick Santorum — a former U.S. senator so anti-gay that vengeful LGBT activists turned his last name into a euphemism for a by-product of anal sex (Google it if you somehow haven’t yet) — stands a legitimate chance of continuing his “surge” (ugh) to the top is truly terrifying.

Vote or sit out?

Georgia has an open primary system. That means you don’t have to declare yourself as a Republican or Democrat when you register to vote, and you can vote in either party’s primary.

Voting in the Republican primary doesn’t obligate you to vote for the Republican candidate in the November general election, or vice versa.

So what should LGBT voters do on Super Tuesday? Staying home and lamenting, possibly with cocktails, is one option.

Another strategy would be to vote for the candidate who is the most moderate, or the least offensive on LGBT rights — especially if you support Republican positions on other issues. That would likely be Jon Huntsman, who

signed civil unions into law as governor of Utah and refused to sign an anti-gay marriage pledge, or Ron Paul, who published homophobic ramblings in his newsletter two decades ago but as a member of Congress voted against amending the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage and supported “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal.

Since neither Huntsman, who has suspended his campaign, or Paul has a viable chance of winning Georgia, that basically amounts to a protest vote — an attempt to send a message to the GOP that moderate Republicans do exist and want a voice in their party.

If you already plan to vote for President Obama, another strategy would be to vote for the candidate you think will be easiest for him to beat in November.

Unfortunately, the success so far of candidates like Santorum, who should be seen as little more than fringe, makes that a dangerous gamble.

Look to November

No matter which Republican nominee eventually emerges from the primary process, the 2012 election will be a referendum not only on who should be president, but on the direction of our country.

It’s a race where we can’t afford to be disillusioned or apathetic, because those who oppose our basic equality certainly won’t be.

Houston Mayor Annise Parker — who is gay, a Democrat and was just reelected to a second term — recently offered a strong rebuke for those who say they may sit out the upcoming election because the Democratic Party and platform don’t go far enough on gay rights.

Though it is worthy of quoting at length, her comment to the Huffington Post can basically be summed up with the adage that the perfect should not be enemy of the good.

“I think [the Democratic platform] should [include marriage equality], period, end of sentence,” Parker said. “But it sort of goes to the conversation we just had about President Obama — he needs to evolve faster, he needs to know where his base is. But if he doesn’t get there, and if the party platform doesn’t get there, I’m a pragmatist and I look at the alternative.

“Let us not go to the Democratic convention and rip each other up as Democrats because we’re not getting to the right result fast enough.

Let’s try to move people along as far as we can, and then join ranks.

“Please, Rick Santorum? Newt Gingrich?

That’s truly scary. Mitt Romney — not a good choice.”

Whomever you choose to vote for on Super Tuesday, or whether you choose to vote at all, mark your calendar for Nov. 6.

That’s the real contest, and the one we can’t risk losing.

GA Voice

March 2, 2012

Home & Real Estate

www.theGAVoice.com

All photos courtesy Ken Hedrick

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“This sophisticated interior is created with balance and symmetrical arrangement.”

PICTURE PERFECT

Staging your house for sale may be a good investment, but why wait to enjoy your home?

By Bo Shell bshell@thegavoice.com When Ken Hedrick first left the world of department store luxury to become a home stager in the real estate industry, his partner came home to an empty house and thought the couple had been robbed.

“I didn’t have anything in stock or storage at the time I got the job, so I’d taken everything from our houe and carried it down the street to install in a project house,” Hedrick says. “It was worth it.”

The house had been on the market for two years, but sold just two months after staging.

According to Hedrick, a staged home will sell up to 50 percent faster for up to 20 percent more money—for a cost that is usually less than the first price reduction.

And in the days of online research, immediate first impressions are more valuable than ever.

It’s what Hedrick calls the story of his success: giving

homes the “wow” factor, luring buyers with beautiful potential in otherwise empty homes.

“I take space and make someone immediately see themselves there,” he says. “A home. Not a place to live, but a home.”

But why wait to stage a home for sale when you could live in splendor now?

“You can live beautifully and effortlessly because everything is in its place and functions as intended,” Hedrick says.

“Elements should be scaled to fit the space, not overfill it.

“Rampant consumerism has ruined many a great space. We have so much now that we have no where to put it,” he adds. “It has created an epidemic of clutter that is sweeping the nation.

Less is more when it comes to home decor.”

We asked Hedrick to walk us through some MORE INFO examples of his work, Prentiss Park Home Staging dropping tips for anyone 404-409-3423 looking to spruce up their www.prentisspark.com home space.

Home & Real Estate

www.theGAVoice.com

March 2, 2012

GA Voice

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5. Brick walls?

Architectural features such as this unpainted brick wall and window walls reflect California styling in this Northcrest home.

Simple lines of furniture add beauty and weight, but don’t compete with the busyness of brick and details.

1. Over-scale lamps

Most lamps today are sadly under scaled and do not utilize a visually correct shade for the size of the lamp.

Bargin store lamps are usually too small. A great lamp is a great investment that you can use for years. Lamps can become heirlooms and experience new lives every time a shade is replaced with new size, color or texture.

Dramatic lamps with oversized shades can make a room and give a sense of importance.

A good lamp can become a great one with a great shade. Expect to pay anywhere from $70 to several hundred depending on the uniqueness of it.

It’s worth the investment.

2. “Tablescaping”

Vignettes or “tablescaping” are kept simple but interesting to compliment simple lines of furniture.

Simple surface treatments allow you to appreciate the architectural details. Place these items where your eye rests when you enter a room.

6. Mix it up

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Many vintage pieces are better made and offer great design at a lower price point. Don’t be afraid of buying vintage items and having them refinished or upholstered if needed.

Great looking things are everywhere: church sales, estate sales, resale shops, consignment shops. It’s all out there waiting for you and your home.

Big box store pieces such as this lighting fixture add a lot of impact for little money. Good design, no matter what the cost, will compliment other welldesigned, more expensive items.

Oversized lighting can make a simple space and focal point.

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3. Inspiration everywhere

Great accessories can be as close as your back yard! This sculptural wood piece was pulled out of a thicket and gives relief to the otherwise rigid space.

The table setting in the photo on the opposite page is great for spring or summer, using garden items from around the house and yard.

4. Use black the right way This dramatic mid-century space used black to add weight to ground otherwise cold space.

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GA Voice

March 2, 2012

Home & Real Estate

www.theGAVoice.com

Modern make-over Take your space to inifinity and beyond Giving your place a new look doesn’t always require drastic changes. Installing new pieces here and there can be just as effective, particularly if you buy them with a solid motif in mind.

Here are a few suggestions to infuse your home with a particularly modern touch. Even the slighest infusion of new can give a much-needed facelift to the old.

— Tim Boyd and Bo Shell

Jonathan Adler Graphic Wool and Letter Pillows

$110 • www.jonathanadler.com 1198 Howell Mill Road • Atlanta, GA

West Elm Hammered Entertaining Servewere $5-$99 • www.westelm.com Throw these hand-hammered aluminum pieces anywhere you need a pop of shimmer and shine.

Magic Wall Clock by Karlsson $50 • Heliotrope Home www.heliotropehome.com 248 W. Ponce de Leon Ave. • Decatur, GA Encased in steel with 3D glasses clock hands, the time is revealed as the red and blue hands uncover the correct time.

Clothes Pin Floor Coat Hanger $199 • Find local retailers at www.presenttime.com

March 2, 2012

models. for illustrative purposes only.

www.theGAVoice.com

GA Voice

IT'S RIGHT TO GET INVOLVED. We are seeking men who have sex with men and transgendered women between 18 and 50 years of age who do not have HIV to join in our quest for a vaccine to combat HIV. If eligible you will participate in a study to evaluate the safety and the potential efficacy of an HIV vaccine. The vaccine does not contain HIV. You will receive $75 per study visit for your time and travel expenses to the study location in Decatur, Georgia. This study is being conducted by Dr. Mark Mulligan of the Hope Clinic of the Emory Vaccine Center, located at 603 Church Street, Decatur, GA 30030.

HOPE‌BE A PART OF IT. CALL 877-424-HOPE (4673) TO LEARN MORE. WWW.HOPECLINIC.EMORY.EDU | VACCINE@EMORY.EDU

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GA Voice

March 2, 2012

Home & Real Estate

www.theGAVoice.com

‘Glimmer of hope’ seen in Atlanta’s housing market It’s a buyer’s market, but sellers can also benefit during turbulent times

By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com If there are five houses for sale on one block priced at about $300,000 each, how do you make your house stand out to potential buyers?

First, make sure your house is in “perfect marketing condition,” including a renovated bathroom and kitchen, said Barb Rowland, Realtor for Common Ground Real Estate based in Decatur.

“The house must look like it’s staged, ready to move in,” she said. “People want a good value.”

Justin Ziegler, also a Realtor with Common Ground, has been in the business for just over two years. He said people don’t always have the imagination to see a house on the market the way it could be after they move in, so it is important to make sure it looks like it is ready to move in immediately.

“People don’t always see that finished product. Home stages show well,” he said.

But it’s not just a house’s look that persuades homebuyers. There’s the low interest rates and the low prices. If a house is priced right, it can be under contract within 30-90 days within 95 percent of its asking price, Ziegler said.

“You have to get the pricing right the first time. The right pricing is part science, part art,” he said. “People are paying for value and good condition does sell.”

And for houses that are selling below $200,000 where there are few on the market but high demand, numerous offers can be made on the home — benefiting, of course, the seller, Ziegler explained.

Rowland said Atlanta’s intown real estate market tends to do well because of such amenities as schools, walkability, safe neighborhoods and well-kept homes.

“It’s a great time to buy, but it’s also a seller’s market because of the lack of inventory,” she said. “All the agents I’ve been speaking to say they are doing extremely well.”

One area of growth is renters who are now buying because they can find an inexpensive house and pay the same or less in a monthly mortgage fee than in rent.

“Five out of 10 renters are converting to buyers,” Rowland said.

‘It’s a good time to find something’

Bill Golden, a Realtor with RE/MAX Metro Atlanta Cityside, said he sees “glimmers of hope” in today’s local market and believes buy-

Top three tips before buying your home 1. Get a real estate agent. “It’s very difficult out there, finding and getting through the process,” said Bill Golden of RE/MAX Atlanta Metro Citywide.

2. Get prequalified for a loan first. With stricter regulations and restrictions, this part of the process takes a lot longer. “It’s better to deal with this part of the process beforehand,” Golden said.

3. Try to look at the “big picture.” Don’t settle on purchasing a home that is not in the neighborhood you want or has the features you want because you find a place that is very cheap. “You’ll end up having not what you wanted,” Golden added. ers and sellers will also begin to see an uptick in the economy and how it effects Atlanta’s real estate market.

“Every day you open the paper and see something different in the market. It’s up, it’s down.

But what does it all mean? The important thing to know is that this is area specific,” Golden said.

Atlanta buyers and sellers really can’t go by what they read about the national market, he said.

“Especially during an election year when people tend to not buy. The economy is a stronger driver than an election,” he said. “And God knows we need it.”

Interest rates are at all-time lows, he said, echoing Rowland and Ziegler.

“There is so much inventory on the market, and this is for buyers — it’s a good time to find something,” he said.

Single-family homes are selling very well in metro Atlanta, Golden said. There is still a large market for condos, especially because they are so cheap, but there is a glut of properties which may eventually bog down the condo market, he added.

Foreclosures and short sales are also still very much part of the market, Golden said.

But buyers still can’t expect to simply bid low and get a cheap house because someone is desperate to sell. With multiple bids coming in on these homes, there is still competition and not much bargaining power at all, he explained.

Home & Real Estate

www.theGAVoice.com

Mortgage advice for LGBT couples Think ahead to avoid common problems with joint property Home ownership can be tricky for same-sex couples — especially since we don’t have automatic property inheritance rights if one partner dies, and we don’t have easy access to divorce courts to help us sort out disputes if we break up.

That means lesbian and gay couples need to take time to think through the best ways to structure home ownership and mortgages when purchasing a home, well before any problems arise.

We asked Mercedes Pasqualetti — general manager for HLM Financial Group, which offers accounting, tax, mortgage and financial planning — for advice on common scenarios involving same-sex couples and home ownership.

Of course, everyone’s situation is unique, so you should consult an expert for individual advice.

My partner and I are moving in together and buying a house. What should we consider before putting both of our names on the mortgage?

The main thing to consider when buying a home together is that the debt is joint. If something should happen to the relationship and one of you moves out, you are both still responsible for the debt, no matter who remains in the house.

In order to remove one person’s name from the loan, the other would have to refinance in their name only. Sometimes this can become a real issue if value goes down, one person has better credit than the other, or one person’s income carried the loan and the other cannot obtain new financing.

You may also want to think about the tax impact. If one person had a loan and the other did not, now there is a potentially lower tax write off by having to split the interest and taxes each year. It is good to have a tax preparer who can look at the numbers so that the combined household tax liability is limited as much as possible using the house and real estate taxes.

When my partner and I bought our house, we put the mortgage in just her name because I had credit problems. It’s been several years and my credit is better. How can we add my name to the mortgage?

It is necessary to refinance the current loan into both names. This means a new loan and the process that goes along with it.

I own my condo and now my new partner is moving in. He will contribute half the expenses. Does that mean he gets a share of

the house if we ever break up?

Not necessarily. If you do not put his name on the house via a Quit Claim Deed, which transfers ownership from you to both of you, then he is not entitled to half the house. You may want to consult an attorney on this issue.

I bought my house before I met my partner, but we have lived here together and shared expenses for years. How can I make sure he gets the house if I die?

You will need to have a Quit Claim Deed prepared and filed in your county transferring the ownership from you as a sole owner, to both of you as Joint Tenants with Rights of Survivorship. If anything happens to either of you ownership would automatically transfer to the remaining partner.

Some loans have stipulations that this cannot be done without approval from the lender.

Check your Mortgage Note for any stipulations.

What is the most common mistake you see LGBT couples make when buying a home together, and how can I avoid it?

One large mistake LGBT couples make is not having some sort of formal agreement in place as to what would happen if they break up.

Once the names are signed on the dotted line, it is hard to become separate again.

Not that we ever want to think of our blissful union as breaking up, but I have seen it happen many times and the house is one of the hardest issues to resolve. Spelling out an agreement while you are in love and happy with each other could potentially save you tons of time, headache and money down the road.

March 2, 2012

GA Voice

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GA Voice

March 2, 2012

www.theGAVoice.com

Friday, March 16

8 p.m.

“The best Pilobolus works, with no loss of wonder or pleasure as popular entertainment, are sustained flights of poetry and drama.”–The New York Times A one-of-a-kind company, Pilobolus straddles the confluence of dance and human sculpture. Now entering its 40th year, this remarkable company embodies a tradition of innovation where grace, physical agility and pure invention are the rule. A Ferst favorite!

sponsored by

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Call today for tickets!

404-894-9600

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A&E

Arts & Entertainment

The unlikely friendship between Georgia folk art legend Howard Finster and a gay artist inspires a new play — and fury from Finster’s family

By Jim Farmer A new play inspired by the friendship between openly gay artist Robert Sherer and the late conservative Baptist preacher/folk artist Howard Finster has Finster’s Georgia-based family claiming the playwright doesn’t have the legal permission to produce the work – and hurling accusations at Sherer.

“Hidden Man,” a joint collaboration between the University of Georgia and 7 Stages, is a fictionalized account of how Sherer’s life changed as a result of the unlikely camaraderie with Finster in the 1980s. After its world premiere in Athens last week, the play is slated to open March 8 at 7 Stages in Little Five Points.

Playwright Pamela Turner says that as she was working on the project, she contacted the Finster family to let them know about it but did not hear back. But on Feb. 14, Beverly Finster-Guinn — Howard’s daughter — sent an email stating that the Finster family had not given “legal permission” to “use Howard Finster’s image or to use his name in the play or any association to the play.”

Turner has spoken to her lawyer and been advised that because Finster was a public figure, she does not need permission from the estate to use his name. She also says that since none of Finster’s artwork is featured in the play, no clearance is needed. She has explained the play to a few representatives of Christian groups that have contacted her and says she would happily talk to FinsterGuinn if she called.

Finster-Guinn and her sister Thelma Bradshaw have also set their sites on Sherer, accusing him of lying, decrying his art as “porn” and “pedophile prototypical,” and even contacting Kennesaw State University, where he is an art professor.

Finster-Guinn disputes that her father actually befriended Sherer.

“There is a difference in an acquaintance and a friendship,” she told The Summervile News. “If Howard had made a difference in a young man’s life, that man would not have continued his . . . art. Howard Finster, a man of God must not be made a mockery of through his Paradise Gardens or his Christian image.”

ART & CONTROVERSY Malcolm Campbell-Taylor (above) plays gay artist Robert Sherer (right) in ‘Hidden Man,’ a new play about Sherer’s friendship with folk art legend Howard Finster. Finster’s daughters have criticized the drama. (Photo by Adron Farris, Sherer by William Cash)

Sherer has accused Finster-Guinn and Bradshaw of talking to KSU students and posting and making malicious remarks about him. On a Facebook post, Finster-Guinn says, “I have heard that his paintings include men having sex with boys. I believe that to be pedophile prototypical. In my opinion that is going beyond porn art. I thought people go to jail for that kind of stuff.”

Sherer says that Bradshaw called his boss at KSU, department chair Dr. Joe Thomas, and made derogatory comments about his work and sexuality. Thomas acknowledges the call and says Bradshaw remarked that Sherer should not be teaching children and that his work depicted men having sex with boys.

In an interview with GA Voice, Bradshaw at first denied making the call, but later admitted that she did.

“I told (Thomas) I do not believe someone like that should be teaching art to children,” she says.

Bradshaw also re-iterated the family had not given permission for the play to be written. Finster-Guinn did not return phone calls.

Sherer is frustrated with the controversy, especially since he is simply the subject of the play – and not its author.

“You don’t say those things (about someone) unless you have evidence,” he says. “I have never painted adults having sex, much less with boys.”

He is not sure how to handle the situation, but he does feel like he has been targeted by the family because he is openly gay.

“At this point, I simply want to be left alone,” he says. “I don’t want to catch the brick on the head.”

‘Both artists and both Southerners’

Sherer recalls meeting Finster-Guinn at Finster’s folk art garden Paradise Garden in Summerville, Ga., and says “she did

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com ‘Hidden Man’ March 8-25 at 7 Stages 1105 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307 www.7stages.org

not like me then.” He finds it ironic that neither Finster-Guinn nor Bradshaw have seen or read the play.

Sherer has displayed his art around the world and from 1992-1997 worked as the gallery owner of the Lowe Gallery. He has been with KSU for a decade and has always been out to his students and administration – and has never had any difficulty. In 2007, Please see HIDDEN MAN on Page 26

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March 2, 2012

A&E

www.theGAVoice.com

Gay artist says Finster ‘responsible for getting rid of the confusion from my youth’

George Contini plays Ga. folk art legend Howard Finster in ‘Hidden Man’ (Photo by Adron Farris)

HIDDEN MAN, continue from Page 25 he started a scholarship on campus for openly LGBT art students.

Sherer’s artworks can be seen at www. robertsherer.com and purchased in Atlanta at Kibbee Gallery. Sales go toward endowing the Robert Sherer LGBT Scholarship.

Four times in his career, his work has been censored and attacked by conservatives. The first time his art raised a stir was in 1989, when, as part of his graduate school thesis project, he showed oil paintings of male nudes in female poses. After the fourth time dealing with censorship, he stopped painting male nudes.

“It is not glamorous being censored,” he says.

He feels that the scope of his art work – which he calls unconventional media – is broad. He acknowledges sexuality plays a part, but says male nudes comprise “maybe 10 percent” of what he has done.

According to the artist, when Sherer and Finster first met, Sherer was a gay, atheist punk artist set on suicide. They bonded at Paradise Garden. Sherer says that Finster, who passed away in 2001, was clear in his religious views but “it wasn’t a fire and brimstone thing.”

Finster made it a point to tell him he had “colored friends, a Jew(ish) friend and homosexual friends,” Sherer says.

Over a number of years, Sherer and Finster clicked, says Sherer.

“We were both artists and both Southerners,” he recalls. “I don’t think I changed him, but I hold him responsible for getting rid of the confusion from my youth. I stopped being so reckless. I finished my undergraduate degree and went to grad school.”

“Howard knew how to get me to look at life in a more joyous way,” he says. “During the AIDS crisis from 1983 – 1986, I had a lot of friends who tested positive and died. I started to live again.”

Reluctant subject

Even before the controversy, Sherer was reluctant to be featured in “Hidden Man.” He says he was approached by writing consultant Russell Blackmon to talk about Finster. Sherer thought Blackmon was doing research, but when Blackmon revealed he was considering a stage play, Sherer balked – and didn’t want to get involved.

But over time Blackmon convinced him to be a part of it. Blackmon took his notes to playwright Turner and piqued her interest, and she in turn conducted her own interviews with Sherer.

The main reason Sherer objected at first was that he feared Finster would be portrayed as a “simpleton redneck” and he would come across as a “limp-wristed queen.”

Having seen the play, he feels that the two men are portrayed positively.

Producing a play about Finster was never the plan – Sherer was always to be the main character, Turner says.

“It was about his coming out,” she says.

“Hidden Man” is about 45 percent real and 55 percent made up, she says. Although the Sherer character is referred to by name, Finster is a composite of two characters, the Reverend and the Stranger.

“There is no disrespect to Finster in the play,” she says. Turner does admit she is “horrified” at the comments Finster’s family have made about Sherer.

Although Finster-Guinn suggested she was going to contact churches and organizations, no protests have been announced. According to Bradshaw, she is not aware of any such activity and when she spoke to her sister over the weekend, “there was no conversation about a protest.”

Meanwhile, 7 Stages remains committed to the play and preparing for opening night.

“We are very concerned, but we are not backing down from the play at all,” says Faye Allen, co-founder and producing director.

A&E

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March 2, 2012

GA Voice

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EVENTS byTopher Payne

Brad’s world Red carpet stylist Brad Goreski unveils a new book, and possibly a new brand of Bravolebrity

The Bravo network’s roster of reality programming, including the “Real Housewives” franchise, Tabatha Coffey’s takeover series, and “Millionaire Matchmaker,” has become so ubiquitous that it’s coined its own term: Bravolebrity.

The network embraced this image wholeheartedly, launching a promotional campaign depicting its reality menagerie at summer camp together, with a solid emphasis on the “camp.”

Critics hold the Bravolebrity up as the prime example of “famous for being famous,” as the casual viewer would struggle to identify what most of these people actually do for a living.

They have job titles most of us never encounter in real life: Fashionista. Lifestyle expert. Home staging consultant.

Too often, they are more clearly defined by their general lack of self-awareness, and a tendency toward throwing drinks in faces or overturning tables at the slightest provocation.

Brad Goreski first came to the public’s attention on one of the more benign entries in the Bravolebrity repertoire, “The Rachel Zoe Project.”

When the series launched, it followed celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe in her home and work life, accompanied by her assistants, Taylor Jacobson and Goreski.

Season three launched without Jacobson, with an announcement that she had been fired, and insinuations from Zoe that Jacobson had stolen money and/or merchandise (a charge Jacobson vehemently denied.) At the end of season three, Goreski left the Zoe team to focus on his own career as a stylist.

Though he claims he gave notice and full disclosure of his plans, Goreski’s former employer made her displeasure known when the series returned for its fourth season, accusing him of poaching clients. Goreski has expressed frustration and disbelief with this turn of events, though it was hardly a surprise to those who follow the series. Apparently, no one leaves the “Rachel Zoe Project” with a glowing letter of reference.

The network seemed to be adding fuel to the fire when it announced Goreski would launch his own series, “It’s a Brad, Brad World,” following his stylist career post-Zoe. Considering the acrimonious relationship between the two, how could they ever coexist at the Bravo Summer Camp?

Surprisingly, those expecting a he said/she said bitchfest were not to be satisfied. Goreski’s series, which ended its eight-episode first season

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com Brad Goreski Friday, March 9, 7 p.m.

Barnes & Noble 2900 Peachtree Road, Suite 310 Atlanta, GA 30305

on Feb. 27, played for more modest takes. The focus was on his attempts at launching a career, and his life with his partner of ten years, “Family Guy” writer Gary Janetti.

Brad tried to build his client list. References to Zoe were kept to a minimum. No tables were overturned. They hired a dog trainer. The couple jetted off to fabulous… Alabama.

What made “It’s a Brad, Brad World” stand out amongst its Bravolebrity brethren was how shockingly catfight-free Brad’s world appeared to be. According to Goreski, that was the exact intention.

“I’m really proud of what the show represents: a chance to show my work, and my efforts toward building a career. And I’m proud of our marriage, that a gay couple is just like any other couple. The show affords me the opportunity to let people see that,” he says.

I’m speaking with Goreski by phone on the morning after the Academy Awards, which was a busy night for him — he dressed actress Maya Rudolph for the ceremony, and Rashida Jones for the Vanity Fair party afterward. I tell him I saw Rudolph on the red carpet, and thought she was stunning. And, true to form for the “SNL” funny lady, she happily confessed to Tim Gunn that underneath her gorgeous gown, she had plenty of foundation garments to keep everything in place.

Goreski laughs at the admission.

“Most people, if they look really good, if the gown works, they don’t mind sacrificing a little bit of comfort,” he says. “Except for shoes. If the shoes aren’t comfortable and they’re going to be on their feet all night, those have got to go.”

With the airing of the final episode of “It’s a Brad, Brad World” and awards season now officially closed, Goreski is on to his next project, promoting his first book, “Born to Be Brad: My Life and Style, So Far,” which hits bookstores March 6.

“It’s actually been kind of a double life, continuing to work while the show was running,” says Goreski. “The book tour is the first chance I’ll have to interact with fans of the show. Except, like today when a woman stopped me after the gym and asked to take a picture. I am a mess right now, in my gym clothes, but my hair’s still done from Good Morning America at 3:30 this morning, but matted down, and I’m thinking, ‘This is

SPRING FORWARD WITH BRAD Fashion tips for the rest of us from the red carpet expert CHOOSE A FEATURED ITEM. “Like wearing denim on denim, and then it’s all about the shoe. Or add a pop of color with a bright day bag, like what Kate Spade is doing with bright corals, or sunglasses, to swing into spring.”

BE SELECTIVE ABOUT ADDING AND SUBTRACTING. “I think it’s unfair to sell a whole new wardrobe every season. Not everybody has mad cash to go out and do that. Ask yourself what’s in your closet that you can’t live without, and let those be your essentials. Then you just add details to that.”

HELLO, PRINTS CHARMING. “I am a huge proponent of patterns and prints.

Mixing print-on-print is tricky, but a single item can be great. Or just go for it. Sometimes I choose to look silly, and that’s my choice. Don’t be afraid to have fun.” not a cute picture.’ So [the tour] is much better.”

He’ll be making an appearance at Barnes and Noble in Buckhead on Friday, March 9.

“I’m excited to see Atlanta,” says Goreski.

“I’ve only ever been to the airport. There’s some really good food in the food court there, though!”

The book, a combination memoir/style guide, traces his route from dressing his Barbies in his Toronto childhood bedroom to the A-List of Hollywood’s red carpet elite.

“I had already revealed so much about my life on the show, so I figured, ‘Okay, let’s put it all on the record.’ I wanted to speak to young people out there who think they can’t realize their dreams… I know for me, I thought I could never get in to fashion, New York seemed so far away,” he says.

Those doubts, combined with the alienation and bullying he experienced

Fashion stylist Brad Goreski brings his new book ‘Born to be Brad: My Life and Style, So Far” to Atlanta on Friday, March 9. (Publicity photo)

growing up, led to a struggle with drugs and alcohol in college. According to Goreski, his wakeup call was self-imposed.

“I made a choice ten years ago that I had to get away from all of that. I was going to live my life, get out there, take the risks,” he says. “I did, and I didn’t look back.”

As of now, there isn’t word on whether there’s interest in a second season following a Bravolebrity who isn’t inclined toward catty confessions and drink/table-tossing, but Goreski’s plans for the immediate future are clear. He’ll be promoting the book for a few weeks, then getting back to his day job, and bonding with the newest addition to his family — a puppy named Jay, who fills the void left by their beloved canine, Jasper.

That these are Goreski’s plans regardless of whether cameras are present may be the best argument for having them there.

“I try to make room for possibility. That’s why I’m always bouncing, it’s the energy of moving forward, pursuing my goals. Fashion is an expression of that excitement, the idea of ‘Who do I want to be today?’” Goreski says.

“That’s what we lose as we get older — that element of play, and that’s the level of expression we need to get back to. Play dress-up every day.

It’s about taking risks. Not just your clothes. Life.

There are no rewards unless you take risks.”

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MUSIC

Amy Ray shares her ‘Lung of Love’ Fans of acoustic music have a big week coming up as three talented lesbian singer-songwriters play Atlanta shows in seven days. The tunes get started with a solo show by Amy Ray on March 10, followed by concerts by gritty singer-songwriter Mary Gauthier on March 16 and eclectic performer Bitch on March 17.

Ray and musical partner Emily Saliers have led the way for acoustic musicians for more than two decades as Indigo Girls, the beloved Atlanta-based lesbian folk-rock duo. Ray has also released solo albums since 2000, allowing her to explore a more raw, more eclectic style.

“Lung of Love,” her sixth solo effort, dropped Feb. 28, backed by a tour that has Ray playing small venues around the country. She plays Atlanta’s Variety Playhouse on March 10.

The new songs are mix of styles, backed by a talented band that features Julie Wolf, whose keyboards also bring depth to Indigo Girls songs, and guest vocalists including Brandi Carlile and Lindsay Fuller. They are, Ray says in press materials about the new effort, “short and sweet.”

The 10 tracks are, in many ways, love songs — whether songs about lost or difficult love (“When You’re Gone, You’re Gone” and “Crying in the Wilderness”), or songs about recognizing the love you have (“Bird in the Hand”).

“I Didn’t” explores what it feels like to be the one after the one who broke her heart, while

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com Amy Ray Saturday, March 10, 8 p.m.

Variety Playhouse 1099 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307 www.ticketmaster.com Mary Gauthier Friday, March 16, 8 p.m. at Eddie’s Attic 515 N McDonough St., Decatur, GA 30030 www.eddiesattic.com Bitch Saturday, March 17, 9 p.m.

My Sister’s Room 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316 www.mysistersroom.com

“Little Revolution” links the hope of falling in love to larger hope for the world: “She’s a little revolution / in my broken heart / It’s like being born new / When it blows apart.”

The title track is an appeal to the “lung of love, this failing breath / the compass of the heart that won’t rest.”

“Lung of love” is a comment on voice, both Ray’s own and as a community.

“The lung of love is my singing voice,” she says in introducing the album. “That is what comes out of me; but always in a struggle with its own clumsiness and frailty. … In a larger way, what is the lung of love in the world? How do we listen to all that expression and take it in?”

Other highlights of the new album include “The Rock is My Foundation,” a gem of Appa-

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“Dixie Kitchen”) until age 35, but quickly won fans and critical acclaim for her bluesy folk style, unique voice and brutally honest songwriting.

Gauthier will bring her difficult story but beautiful music to Decatur’s Eddie’s Attic on March 16.

“I’ve discovered we are all wanderers of sorts, we are all looking for meaning in lives that contain no guarantees. My birth mother and my adopted family loved me the very best they could and I am grateful for their sacrifices,” Gauthier says on her website.

“I do have a good life. It has been a long road and it’s taken me longer than I am proud of, but these days I find myself at peace, grateful for each borrowed day,” she says.

by Laura Douglas-Brown

Upcoming Atlanta shows highlight lesbian singer-songwriters

March 2, 2012

Amy Ray kicks off a week of great music in Atlanta with her March 10 show, followed by Mary Gauthier on March 16 and Bitch on March 17. (Publicity photo)

lachian gospel, and a live version of the Indigo Girls’ song “This Train (Revised),” featuring Lindsay Fuller and Jeff Fielder.

The album is available in digital formats, but Ray includes an extra bit of fun for those who buy the CD or LP. Each contains a letter from Ray, and some of the letters have special prize codes included. If you find one, enter it online at www.amy-ray.com to move to the next phase of the contest, which includes prizes ranging from a house concert by Ray to signed cards, t-shirts and more.

Mary Gauthier finds peace

Mary Gauthier’s most recent studio album, 2010’s “The Foundling,” is a concept album that explores her own difficult journey of being left at a New Orleans orphanage, growing up in a suicidal and alcoholic adoptive family, and her own struggles with addiction.

She didn’t release her debut album (1997’s

Bitch gets ‘Blasted’

Don’t let her in-your-face name fool you: Bitch is more than just a badass. The electric violin-playing prodigy brings her signature style to the newly renovated My Sister’s Room on Saturday, March 17.

Bitch first made her name with lesbian music fans as part of the duo Bitch and Animal. Now solo, she plays violin, ukulele and bass to create a layered sound she describes as “theatrical punk.”

Her new songs range from the catchy groove of “Kitchen” to the slower, more soul-searching sounds of “Lost You” and “Blasted,” the title song of her most recent album. You can hear the songs on her website, www.bitchmusic.com.

“Blasted,” especially, echoes the influence of folk and women’s music legend Ferron, whose 2008 album “Boulder” was recorded by Bitch, who recruited performers including Ani Difranco, Indigo Girls and JD Samson to bring new fans to the sometimes overlooked trailblazer.

Bitch is also working on a documentary film about Ferron titled “Thunder,” and acted in John Cameron Mitchell’s provocative film “Short Bus.”

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COMMUNITY LOCAL LIFE

March 2, 2012

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Cabaret and costumes Seasons of Love, Purim Off Ponce offer good fun for good causes

By Ryan Watkins rwatkins@thegavoice.com From an all-volunteer cabaret to help kids to a costume party that celebrates a Jewish holiday while supporting LGBT rights, the weekend of March 9-10 will be busy with benefits.

CHRIS Kids, a local provider of housing and services programs for youth, will host its Seasons of Love cabaret benefit March 9-10 at the 14th Street Playhouse.

The annual event, celebrating its 10th year, features cabaret singing and dancing from an allvolunteer cast and crew over two nights.

This year’s event, “Encore! The Best of 10 Years of Seasons of Love,” will relive many of the best moments of the fundraiser’s history.

Some 35 numbers will be performed, ranging from pop to Motown to Broadway classics, says JD Kellum, a CHRIS Kids boardmember and performer in the cabaret.

“Many of the numbers will be highlights from years past,” Kellum says.

Kellum says that the annual benefit is one of the main highlights of the organization’s yearly calendar of events. CHRIS Kids provides a variety of services, including counseling, group homes and transitional independent living programs, for at-risk children, teens and young adults — including LGBT youth.

The event, which began humbly, has grown over the years.

“It started at St. Mark with maybe just 100 people,” Kellum said. “It’s grown over the years.

One year we had it at the Ferst Center at Georgia Tech. The last two years have been near-sellout crowds at 14th St. Playhouse.”

Seasons of Love and the annual Premiere Party are both organized by CHRIS Kids’ OUTreach Committee, Kellum says.

“That’s the great thing about CHRIS Kids and the outreach committee, we’re trying to build a bridge between the gay and straight communities to benefit the children,” Kellum adds.

This year’s benefit is the last “annual” event for the cabaret fundraiser, though there may be reunion shows in the future, Kellum says.

Tickets for this year’s event range from $41 for individual entrants to $100 for VIP access.

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com Seasons of Love X March 9-10, 8 p.m. at 14th Street Playhouse 173 14th Street, Atlanta, Ga. 30309 www.chriskids.org Purim Off Ponce Saturday, March 9, 7:30-11 p.m.

Callanwolde Fine Arts Center 980 Briarcliff Road, Atlanta, GA 30306 www.therainbowcenter.org

Tickets can be purchased in advance from the CHRIS Kids website. All of the proceeds from ticket sales and donations made at the fundraiser will go to benefit the organization.

“We’re providing a hand-up, not a handout,” Kellum says. “These are kids that are 17 to 24 that are homeless or leaving the adoption system. We’re able to provide this home environment. It’s as nice as any apartment community in Midtown.”

For Kellum, volunteering with CHRIS Kids has been a way to give back.

“It’s my way of giving back and paying it forward what was wrong in my life,” Kellum said.

“Had I had the fortitude to come out to my family at 16, I would have been thrown out on the street. If I can help provide that environment to a kid and change someone’s life on that level, it’s very rewarding.”

Kellum came out to his parents when he was 29 and they were not supportive, he adds.

“It’s difficult, but it can define you or destroy you and it’s your choice. These kids don’t have a choice. It does get better, regardless of your background,” Kellum says.

“Knowing that we’ve changed one life and that we can unlock the potential of one child, that one ripple could create a wave, and that wave can be life-changing in a community, not just an individual. It’s inspiring to hear these stories of kids who have overcome great adversity to actually succeed.”

Seasons of Love has raised more than $350,000 in its 10-year history, according to Kellum. CHRIS Kids hopes to bring in $60,000 from this year’s fundraiser.

Purim Off Ponce goes ‘70s

The sixth annual Purim Off Ponce costume party will be held at the Callanwolde Fine Arts Center on March 9 and will be themed around everyone’s favorite decade, the 1970s.

Purim Off Ponce is a benefit fundraiser for the Rainbow Center, a Jewish non-profit which

Top: The ‘Seasons of Love’ cabaret has raised more than $350,000 over 10 years for CHRIS Kids.

(Photo by Brent Corcorcan/RNZ Photography. Below: The annual ‘Purim Off Ponce’ costume party benefits the Rainbow Center, which helps LGBT people of all faiths. (Photo by Dyana Bagby) aims to help gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people of all faiths and denominations.

Purim, an annual Jewish holiday, celebrates the saving of the Jews by Queen Esther and involves costumes and merrymaking.

The Rainbow Center, along with Jewish Family & Career Services and Congregation Bet Haverim, puts a gay spin on the holiday each year.

The theme for this year’s fundraiser was inspired by The Mike Veal Band, a musical group that plays a wide variety of music from the 1970s.

“It’s all surrounding the band,” says Rebecca Stapel-Wax, executive director of the Rainbow Center. “They’re from the ‘70s, meaning the era which they play their music. They’re just a phenomenal band that can play anything.”

Attendees are also invited to submit photos of themselves dressed in their best 1970s garb that will be included in the party’s decor.

Local community activist Owen Halpern will be honored for his work with the Rainbow

Center during the fundraiser, as well. Halpern has been a volunteer and fundraiser for the organization for six years and is the director of OH! Atlanta Tours.

“A very generous kind person who wants to make the world right, who had a very difficult time being as when he was young, very tumultuous younger years, now he’s able to set it right,” Stapel-Wax says.

For the Rainbow Center, Purim Off Ponce has become the organization’s landmark annual event.

“It is our hallmark event. The Rainbow Center is known in many ways because of the event.

We have many people that come that aren’t Jewish or aren’t gay. That’s the beauty of the holiday, to get people together who normally wouldn’t,” Stapel-Wax adds.

In addition to The Mike Veal Band, entertainment will also be provided by aerialist Sadie Hawkins, the burlesque troupe Dames AFlame and Atlanta’s camp drag favorites the Armorettes.

Tickets to the fundraiser range from $36-50.

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Community

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PERSONALITY SPOTLIGHT A rainbow of fun for LGBT families Nate Hall, 27, founded the Roy G. Biv Project almost two years ago when she couldn’t find a social outlet where she and her daughter, now 7, could “meet other families like ours.”

Named after the acronym for the colors in the rainbow, the non-profit launched in April 2010.

It has grown to host multiple social events for parents and kids, as well as a lively Facebook page with almost 5,000 friends.

Upcoming events include an LGBT night at art studio Sips ‘N Strokes on March 10 and a cocktail party on April 28. Previous activities range from hikes and picnics to bowling, an Easter egg hunt and a luau.

Why did you think it was important to launch the Roy G. Biv Project?

As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child, and in our community, it’s even more important to have that close bond with other families so that our children can feel assured in these very important years of their lives, that it’s ok… that we love them just as much as any other family would love their kids.

Why do you think LGBT parents need a specific group to socialize?

I think having a specific LGBT group for parents is essential because although we are just like any other family experiencing the trials, tribulations, joys and surprises of raising children, we do have differences.

Some parents may need advice on how to merge a family together and introducing their children into a two-mommy or daddy household, or advice on the best schools and neighborhoods that are LGBT friendly.

You also do some events that aren’t for the kids. Why? We’ve noticed that not all of our members are parents. In fact, we even have straight members in our group as well!

I think it’s important to get together with other adults and talk about adult stuff and not worrying about covering your mouth when a curse word slips out, or having a drink or four and laughing all night without the kids asking for a sip.

What is the craziest question you have ever been asked as an LGBT parent?

Once someone asked me if I knew of a LGBT notary and someone else asked me if I knew of a LGBT pumpkin patch. I’m all for helping out our own businesses, but are you really that gay that you can’t buy a straight pumpkin?

Nate Hall founded the Roy G. Biv Project to provide social opportunities for families like hers.

(Courtesy photo)

MORE INFO Roy G. Biv Project/Atlanta LGBT Families P.O Box 813655, Smyrna, GA 30081 www.facebook.com/TheRoyG.BivProject

What is a situation that drives you crazy as a parent (LGBT specific or not)?

The situation that I come across the most often is other families closing themselves off to LGBT-only venues/events (i.e. LGBT pumpkin patch), because of stares or whatever their reason may be...

Seeing you hold hands with your partner, and being loving to your children and pets, just might be exactly what that one person needed to see to change their thoughts and opinions about us.

They may realize, “a person’s a person...” I got that from “Horton Hears a Who,” and it’s true.

— Laura Douglas-Brown

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT AllStar Cleaning provides more than a clean home

Jon Wood from AllStar Cleaning has seen his fair share of clutter and nasty messes in his nearly 20-year career as a professional cleaner.

“Oh my gosh, I’ve seen it all,” Wood says.

“The worst is people who’ve moved out of condos or houses who’ve had pets that haven’t always let them out, if you know what I mean.”

Wood, who is gay, has been in the cleaning business for nearly two decades and in that time he’s worked in commercial buildings and houses. AllStar Cleaning, now three-years old, is Woods’ third cleaning business.

The freedom to be his own boss led Wood into the business of cleaning houses.

“It was the freedom to make my own choices of my time, and not have to punch a clock,” Wood says. “It was really about owning a business.”

Wood, originally from Pennsylvania, has

MORE INFO

AllStar Cleaning 404-425-6679 www.allstarcleaningatlanta.com

been in Atlanta for 23 years.

“Twenty-some years ago, I was in-between jobs and a girlfriend of mine was getting ready to have a party and needed help with cleaning.

While doing that, I thought, ‘Wow, I could get into doing this. I could make money doing this,’” Wood says.

These days, AllStar Cleaning is in as many as 150 homes a month throughout the metro Atlanta area. To clean that many houses, Wood has employed five staff members to handle the load.

“We do regular weekly, biweekly and onetime cleanings,” Wood says.

“All my employees are professionally trained,” he adds. “I’ve worked very hard to develop a methodical, well-thought out cleaning process that all the employees follow to ensure efficiency and thoroughness. We have

Jon Wood from AllStar Cleaning loves the freedom to be his own boss, while also helping clients find peace-of-mind. (Courtesy photo)

lots of experience.”

Having clients who trust his staff is crucial to his business’ success, Wood says.

“We bring all our own supplies and equipment. Our supplies are environmentally friendly and odor-free. It’s safe around food use and pets,” he notes.

Not having to worry about cleaning and enjoying the free time that comes along with a cleaning service is a major benefit, Wood says.

“One of things we offer is peace-of-mind to our customers that they don’t have to worry about cleaning. They have more free time because we’re there. That’s really our big value.”

— Ryan Watkins

March 2, 2012

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Calendar

BEST BETS 03.02 - 03.15 Publicity photo by Melinda Kelley

SPOTLIGHT

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ADD YOUR EVENT

There are two ways to add your events to our online and print calendars. Submit your info to www.theGAVoice.com or e-mail details to editor@theGAVoice.com.

Friday, March 2

The First Friday Dance features an East Coast Swing lesson from 7:30-8:30 p.m., followed by open ballroom dancing at The Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307 Brent Star and Friends features drag and comedy with host MC Chase Daniels and DJ Melody. 9 p.m. – 3 a.m. at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com

Saturday, March 3

Publiticy photo via vitorussomovie.com

One Sordid Night is a benefit for Jerusalem House, which helps provide housing for people impacted by HIV, featuring emcee actress Ann Walker, who played “Lavonda Dupree” from the movie and TV series “Sordid Lives” by Del Shores. Includes drag show, hunk auction, and more.

Dress as your favorite character. 6-10 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.onesordidnight.eventbrite.com

Cyberaver presents Spring Breaks with DJ Exzakt at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com Angelica D’Paige hosts The Fab Five on Fridays at 11:30 p.m. at Burkhart’s Pub, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com Foreplay Fridays are back with Girls in the Night America. Doors open at 10 p.m. at Club Life, 1789 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.girlsinthenight.com Kitty Le Claw’s Meow Mix gets catty at 10:30 p.m. at Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th St NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

Saturday, March 3

Search for treasures and help support homeless LGBT youth with a yard sale benefitting the Atlanta Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and Lost-n-Found Youth.

8 a.m. – 3 p.m. at First Existentialist Congregation of Atlanta, 470 Candler Park Drive, Atlanta, GA 30307

Wednesday, March 7

Photo by Laura Doublas-Brown

The acclaimed documentary “Vito,” about the life of “Celluloid Closet” author Vito Russo, will have its Southeastern premiere as a fundraiser for Out On Film’s 25th anniversary year. 7:30 p.m. at Midtown Art Cinema, 31 Monroe Dr NE, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.outonfilm.org

Thursday, March 8 Every Thursday, get Twisted with Phoenix of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” at 11:30 p.m. at Burkhart’s Pub, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

MEGA Family Project hosts Maybe Baby, a seminar to help LGBT people navigate their options for parenthood. 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.megafamilyproject.org Prime Timers, a social group for older gay and bisexual men, meets at 3 p.m. at The Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.AtlantaPrimeTimers.com

Monday, March 5

‘Queen of Soul’ Aretha Franklin performs at 8 p.m. at the Fabulous Fox Theatre, 660 Peachtree St. NE, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.ticketmaster.com

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< MORE LGBT EVENTS: Visit our website for our extensive daily calendar, including nightlife schedules, sports, worship services and community organization meetings. www.thegavoice.com/calendar

Eurotrash is a going away party for Kyle Keyser — community activist, DJ and openly gay mayoral candidate — as he moves to Berlin. Sets by DJ Vicki Powell, Rami Lollipop and Le Sexoflex. 9 p.m. – 2 a.m. at Friends on Ponce, 736 Ponce De Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30306.

Emory University hosts its 20th annual Pride Awards, celebrating 20 years of LGBT activism and inclusion. Emory OUTLaw reception at 6 p.m., Pride Awards reception at 7 p.m. and Pride Awards at 7:30 p.m. at Tull Auditorium, Emory Law School, 1301 Clifton Road, Atlanta, GA 30322, www.lgbt.emory.edu

Expect tons of drag performances plus DJ Liz Owen as My Sister’s Room hosts the Mr. GA USofA MI fundraiser to send Drue Lingue and Diego Wolf to the national competition. 10 p.m. – 3 a.m. at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com

Lesbian-inclusive “alterna-grass” band Roxie Watson celebrates the release of their new CD with two shows.

7 p.m. and 9 p.m. at Eddie’s Attic, 515 N McDonough St., Decatur, GA 30030, www.eddiesattic.com

DJ Ed Bailey spins for the Studio 54 party at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com

Starting tonight, Saturday’s are Early Country and Late Night Dance, bringing you the best of both worlds at the Heretic. 3 Legged Cowboy country from 8 p.m. - midnight, dance with DJ Mike Pope from midnight to 3 a.m. at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

Publiticy photo

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Jealouse’s Daring Divas perform at 10:30 p.m. at Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th St NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com DJ Patt Scott spins at the Atlanta Eagle, 306 Ponce De Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.atlantaeagle.com

Sunday, March 4

Kelli’s Childcare Collective of Atlanta hosts a Women’s History Month story time with pizza for kids and parents. 2-3:30 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com DJ Bill Berdeaux spins from 3-7 p.m. and DJ Darryl Cox spins from 7 p.m. to closing at Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th St NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com Wanna dance with somebody? Remember Whitney Houston at a special edition of DJ Vicki Powell’s Sunday Service at 7 p.m. at Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room & Ping Pong Emporium, 466 Edgewood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30312

Monday, March 5

PFLAG Atlanta holds its First Monday support meeting. 7:30 – 9 p.m. at Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, 1911 Cliff Valley Way NE, Atlanta, GA 30329, www.pflagatl.org

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Calendar

Every Monday, catch “Smash,” NBC’s new musical drama, at 10 p.m. on the video screens at Amsterdam, 502-A Amsterdam Ave., Atlanta, GA 30306, www.amsterdamatlanta.com

SPOTLIGHT

Tuesday, March 6

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Raja, winner of the last season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” performs at Burkhart’s Pub, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

Sing along with pianist David Reeb on Tuesdays from 7 p.m. to midnight at Mixx, 1492 Piedmont Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.mixxatlanta.com Author Hanne Blank reads and discusses “Straight: the Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality.” 7:30 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com

Saturday, March 10

The Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce hosts a Business Builder Luncheon. 11:55 a.m. at Carpe Diem, 105 Sycamore Place, Decatur, GA 30030, www.atlantagaychamber.org

Thursday, March 8

“Hidden Man,” the controversial play about the true-life friendship between folk artist Howard Finster and gay artist Robert Sherer, opens tonight and runs through March 25 at 7 Stages, 1105 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.7stages.org Join contributors from the anthology “Shifting Balance Sheets: Women’s Stories of Naturalized Citizenship and Cultural Attachment” as they talk about their experiences of multiple cultural identities in celebration of International Women’s Day. 7:30 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com Barry Brandon’s Hold Me in Your Heart organization hosts Art for the Heart, accepting donations and with a silent auction benefiting “Sweet Bea,” a little girl named Beatrice battling a rare form of brain cancer. 8 p.m. – 2 a.m. at Aurum Lounge, 915 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.sweetbeafund.com Xplosion Thursdays feature hip hop starting at 10 p.m. at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com Every Thursday, catch Balls Deep Karaoke at the Atlanta Eagle, 306 Ponce De Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.atlantaeagle.com

Publiticy photo

The Decatur Women’s League’s Winter Bowling season winds down from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Suburban Lanes, 2619 N. Decatur Road, Decatur, GA 30033, www.decaturwomen.com

The second Thursday of the month is Shake Appeal at Mary’s, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com

Friday, March 9

Gay stylist Brad Goreski reads from “Born to Be Brad: My Life and Style, So Far,” at 7 p.m. at Barnes & Noble, 2900 Peachtree Road, Suite 310, Atlanta, GA 30305.

Local author Kim Green celebrates the release of her first novel, “Hallucination,” about a woman living with lupus. 7:30 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com The Divas Cabaret stars Destiny Brooks, Heather Daniels, Jasmine Antoinette, Monica Van Pelt and Iysis Dupree. Every Friday and Saturday at 11 p.m. at the New LeBuzz, 585 Franklin Rd., Marietta, GA 30067, www.thenewlebuzz.com

Friday, March 9Saturday, March 10

The annual Seasons of Love cabaret raises funds for CHRIS Kids, which provides LGBT-inclusive youth services. 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday at 14th Street Playhouse, 173 14th St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.chriskids.org

Saturday, March 10

The Roy G. Biv Project hosts LGBT night at Sips ‘N Strokes, where you can bring your own bottle and appetizers to enjoy while you paint, with help from an experienced artist. 6:30 p.m. at Sips ‘N Strokes, 3019 North Druid Hills Road, Atlanta, GA 30329

Amy Ray and her band perform a solo show to promote her new album, “Lung of Love.” The Shadowboxers open. 8 p.m. at Variety Playhouse, 1099 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.ticketmaster.com Purim Off Ponce — the annual fundraiser for The Rainbow Center, part of Jewish Family & Children’s Services — gets groovy with a 1970s theme. This year’s entertainers include the Mike Veal Band, Dames Aflame, aerialist Sadie Hawkins and the Armorettes. 7:30-11 p.m. at Callanwolde Fine Arts Center, 980 Briarcliff Road, Atlanta, GA 30306, www.PurimOffPonce.org

Publicity photo

Frisky Monkey plays at 9 p.m. at Smith’s Olde Bar/The Atlanta Room, 1578 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.friskymonkeymusic.com

Wednesday, March 7

Dragnique, the unique drag contest at Jungle, launches its third season tonight hosted by Phoenix and Bubba D. Show begins at 10 p.m. at Jungle,

GA Voice

Thursday, March 8Friday, March 9

The MISTER Community Center for gay and bi men hosts a meditation workshop every first and third Tuesday. 5:45-7 p.m. at Positive Impact, 60 Eleventh Street NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.positiveimpact-atl.org

“Heal the Heart, the Mind Will Follow: a SelfHealing Workshop” features spiritual teacher Marilyn Munro. 7:30 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com

March 2, 2012

Saturday, March 10 DJ Joe Gauthreaux spins at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

The second Saturday of the month is Southern Bears night at the Atlanta Eagle, 306 Ponce De Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.atlantaeagle.com DJ M and Twee host the Secret Party with Traxx Girls at Club Rain, 448 Ralph David Abernathy, Atlanta, GA 30312, www.traxxgirls.com

Sunday, March 11

The Atlanta Ducks host their first annual Duck Invitational preseason softball warm-up tournament, followed by a beer bust from 4-8 p.m. at FROGS Cantina. Softball from 7:30 a.m. – 7 p.m. at Southside Park, 3460 Jonesboro Rd SE Atlanta, GA 30354. For info, search “Atlanta Ducks” on Facebook.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 36

Wednesday, March 14 “Totally Awesome ‘80s” is the theme for this month’s PALS Bingo, hosted by Bubba D. Licious and Brent Star. The popular event raises money for PALS, which helps people with HIV and other health conditions keep their pets. Doors open 6:30 p.m.; program starts at 7:30 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.palsatlanta.org

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March 2, 2012

Calendar

EVENTS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 35

On Sundays, catch the camp drag Armorettes at 8 p.m. at Burkhart’s Pub, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

Monday, March 12

Mondays are Texas Hold ‘Em at 7:30 p.m. at Woofs, Atlanta’s first gay sports bar. 2425 Piedmont Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.woofsatlanta.com Niesha Dupree’s Stars of the Century takes the stage on Mondays at 11 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com

Tuesday, March 13

Enjoy a Business Builder Luncheon with the Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, 11:50 a.m. – 1 p.m. at Brio Tuscan Grille, 2964 Peachtree Road, Atlanta, GA 30306, www.atlantagaychamber.org Featuring a score by openly gay part-time Atlantan Sir Elton John, “Billy Elliot the Musical,” about a young boy who wants to be a dancer despite his father’s disapproval, runs tonight through March 18 at the Fox Theatre, 660 Peachtree St, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.broadwayinatlanta.com Tuesdays are Mary-oke at Mary’s, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com

Wednesday, March 14

Wednesday nights are karaoke with Jack Daddi and Missy Miller at 8 p.m. at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com DJ Lydia Prim spins at 10 p.m. at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com Catch “Feathers & Flesh,” a burlesque review, at 11 p.m. at Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th St NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

Thursday, March 15

MEGA Family Project hosts a Waiting for the Stork support group for LGBT prospective parents. 7-8:30 p.m. at the Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.megafamilyproject.org Enjoy an open “no mic” night as Cliterati wows you with spoken word poets, this month featuring Akinfe Fatou. 7:30 - 9 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com The Georgia USofA Pageantry System hosts a benefit for United 4 Safety, which addresses domestic violence, during the Triple-Crowing Pageant for Miss Georgia USofA, Miss Georgia USofA At Large, and Miss Georgia USofA Newcomer. 7:30-11:30 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.united4safety.org, www.georgiausofa.com

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hoto

GA Voice

P licity Pub

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h 17 Saturday, Marc Jungle, 2115 DJ Eddie Baez spins at Faulkner Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com

UPCOMING Friday, March 16

The Decatur Women’s League kicks off its spring softball season with games on Friday nights through May 25. This season, play moves to Blackburn Park, 3501 Ashford Dunwoody Road, Atlanta, GA 30319, www.decaturwomen.com Michael Moore’s “Capitalism: A Love Story” screens at the Third Friday Film Series. Suggested donation $1-$10 sliding scale. Films start at 7:30 p.m. at First Existentialist Congregation of Atlanta, 470 Candler Park Dr., NE, Atlanta, GA 30307, www.firstexistentialist.org Lesbian singer-songwriter Mary Gauthier performs with Tania Elizabeth at 8 p.m. at Eddie’s Attic, 515 N McDonough St., Decatur, GA 30030, www.eddiesattic.com

Saturday, March 17

See Bitch in concert at 9 p.m. as part of the St. Paddy’s Day bash at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com Ruby Redd hosts Dirty Boy Bingo on Thursdays at 10 p.m. at Cockpit, 465 Boulevard, Atlanta, GA 30312, www.thecockpit-atlanta.blogspot.com Thursday nights, catch the Unexpected Cabaret at Mixx, 1492 Piedmont Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.mixxatlanta.com

Thursday, March 15Sunday, March 18

The boys, er, girls of “Designing Women Live” return with two new episodes featuring Topher Payne, DeWayne Morgan, Johnny Drago, Frankie Asher, Spencer Stephens and Amanda Cucher.

Shows 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday, 5 p.m.

Sunday at Onstage Atlanta, 2597 North Decatur Road, Decatur, GA 30033, www.onstagetlanta.tix.com

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GA Voice

March 2, 2012

A&E

www.theGAVoice.com

THAT’S WHAT

SHE SAID

Not quite home improvement I love her, but will the next project end with 911?

april 1, 7pm

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When you own an older home, improvement projects come with the territory. Theoretically, these occasional updates to your dwelling should be fun. But for me, they are a source of high anxiety.

The reason is because the woman I live with is determined to complete as many of these projects as possible all on her own even though she has no qualifications whatsoever to be doing construction work, plumbing work, electrical work, flooring installation, etc. The result is that I have to stay at the house while these little projects are being undertaken, prepared at any minute to call 911.

For example, Katie decided months ago she no longer wanted a ceiling fan in our bedroom, so she took it down. Those wires protruding through the ceiling seemed to wave in jest at us each morning until last weekend, when Katie found a new light fixture and decided it was time to fix the problem.

So my Saturday was spent standing on our bed, spotting her as she tried desperately to hang the light fixture such that it was actually straight. It was also my job to jump down and retrieve fallen screws and nuts that began to tap dance across the floor as her arms got tired.

When the fateful moment came for her to test the light, I brought a fire extinguisher. When I questioned why the entire fixture seemed a little shaky, she assured me that it was fine — as long as we never had an earthquake.

The other reality of life with a can do’er is that nothing ever gets done when you think it will. When it came time to replace the floor in my home office, no contractors were called.

That’s because Katie was going to take care of it. So we purchased the new flooring, and stacked it in the hallway outside the room.

And there it remained, for months. Once the stacks of flooring started to gather dust, I pleaded with her to call a flooring guy and

Melissa Carter is also a writer for Huffington Post.

She broke ground as the first out lesbian radio personality on a major station in Atlanta and was one of the few out morning show personalities in the country. Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter

save herself the trouble. No luck. The next day, she took out some tools and removed the old carpet in the office. And then waited another month before she started again.

Not only do these projects put our lives in danger, but our friends lives as well. Last year when I was still on the Bert Show, Jenn Hobby and her husband, Grant, gave me a ride home after work in their 4 x 4 during a snow storm.

When we arrived at my house, Katie wanted to build a fire for our guests, but we were out of firewood. No problem. Katie grabbed a chainsaw and headed outside to make her own firewood. Fascinated, and a bit concerned, Grant followed her in the snow and helped secure the logs from fallen limbs in the back yard. We did get our fire.

A relationship with anyone requires a certain resilience to that person’s oddities and unique traits. And in the grand scheme of things, her predilection for do-it-yourself projects is not that big of a deal. Unless, of course, it one day results in stitches, mild electrocutions or falls through the ceiling.

The hard part is knowing how to balance the dance of not being too demeaning when she talks about knocking the wall out to make the closet bigger. In my mind, I am saying, “Are you f****ing crazy?” But outwardly, I choose my words more carefully, “Don’t you think that would occupy our whole weekend? I would rather hire someone so we can go out of town.”

The truth is that we do get things accomplished around the house cheaper than we would otherwise. But I never completely let go of the image of myself driving up to our home with the Fire Department there waiting on me.

And God help us if we ever sell this house and have to hire an inspector to review her work.

That meeting will be one project where I happily leave and let Katie handle that one all on her own.

A&E

www.theGAVoice.com

DOMESTICALLY

DISTURBED

Love is blind The longer you’re together, the more you fall apart

For almost five years now, my husband and I have had a little game. Okay, he might call it something different, but to me it’s a little game.

Whenever we go to a restaurant, I ask him to read the words on signs or television screens across the room.

He’ll crane his neck and squint his eyes, straining to make out the words. It’s like Morgan Freeman looking for that tombstone in “Driving Miss Daisy.”

“Try… a… marshmallow?”

“It says margarita, baby. Try a margarita.

Why would the bar be selling marshmallows?”

“It could happen,” he says. “Could be the name of a shot.”

“Admit you cannot see those words.”

“I admit nothing.”

But he knows. All of his friends know, as do his co-workers. Yet, he resists. I’m aware my random eye tests in public places strain his patience more than his eyes, but the stakes are higher than he’s acknowledging. Add to that the fact that he actually has glasses, prescribed by an actual optometrist who told him they are needed, and the whole situation’s just absurd.

This man I love who cannot read the names of drinks on a chalkboard is driving a car around Atlanta at five in the morning. I can picture the eventual scene — police tape on 285, and Preppy on a stretcher, weakly calling my name.

The hospital calling me, but I don’t hear the phone because unlike my husband I do not go to work before sunrise, so it would be hours before I even knew he was in some emergency room feeling abandoned. I can be really detailed in my nightmares. My mind always goes to the worstcase scenario first, because it makes the trip back to reality so reassuring.

Preppy says the situation is not nearly as dire as I claim, that he’s learned to cope with it. My argument is always that we’re not talking about a mysterious condition here. He’s not Gwyneth Paltrow in “Contagion.” Scientists are not baffled by his plight. All he has to do is put on his goddamn glasses.

I admit I’m being a shrew over this whole

Topher Payne is an Atlanta-based playwright, and the author of the book “Necessary Luxuries: Notes on a Semi-Fabulous Life.” Find out more at topherpayne.com

thing. I have enough awareness of self to know when I’m being as unlikeable as Lori on “The Walking Dead,” but even then I just can’t help myself. It’s so easy for me to pass judgment, because I’ve always had bad eyesight.

Basically every part of my body was labeled defective on shipment in one way or another, so I’m never surprised when something doesn’t work properly. But Preppy’s eyes served him just fine for the first quartercentury of his life. The deterioration is simply a sign that he’s getting older.

And let’s face it: Once you make a lifetime commitment to someone, you’re both signing up for watching each other turn into old people. The nice thing is, they’ll remember you when you were still young and quite lovely.

We’ve all got something like this in our lives — an element of our existence declining in quality or payoff, but we hold onto it, adjust, try to make do, even when the solution is right in front of us.

We don’t lower our standards because we’re incapable of fixing the problem, and it isn’t because we can’t see what’s deteriorating. It’s because doing the repairs requires acknowledging that something’s not working like it used to.

Whether it’s the wrong job, an unflattering hair color, or failing eyesight, it’s just easier to lower standards than it is to cowboy up and admit things have changed.

Lately, however, I’ve been noticing the glasses making more appearances around the house, when he’s working on the computer, or reading a book. He still removes them whenever someone tries to take a photograph, and he’s unlikely to wear them for a night out, but it’s a start. I’m proud of him for taking care of the problem, and I choose to believe my nagging had something to do with it.

“Isn’t it amazing?” I ask. “All the details you’ve been missing?”

From across the sofa, he smiles and studies me closely.

“I never realized… how much dog hair you have all over your clothes.”

Okay. I had that coming.

March 2, 2012

GA Voice

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