03/04/16, Vol. 7 Issue 1

The openly gay rocker is breaking barriers while singing his face off

By SHANNON HAMES From cruise ship singer to Broadway performer to “American Idol” runner up, Adam Lambert has certainly had a steady climb up his musical career ladder. In fact, Billboard magazine recently reported that of all of the “American Idol” alumni from the previous 14 seasons, Lambert was the top earner for 2015, raking in close to $10 million. Adam spoke with Georgia Voice about his new album, his role in touring as the frontman for Queen and his upcoming Atlanta performance at the Tabernacle.

Georgia Voice: You just released a new album, “The Original High” – tell me about that.

Adam Lambert: The album was executive produced by Max Martin and Shellback. It is definitely pop music, but the subject matter is a little more melancholy and more bittersweet than the stuff I’ve done in the past.

It’s hard to sum it up, but I think it kind of explores the exploring. No matter who we are, we’re looking for certain things in our lives. We all hit walls where all of a sudden we feel unsatisfied, or we CONTINUES ON PAGE 18

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GEORGIANEWS

AID Atlanta leaders address organization’s future HIV/AIDS agency beset by leadership turnover, debt, controversial ‘affiliation’

clients are HIV-positive and therefore would have no use for PrEP, and that their current CDC funds are for HIV testing and prevention but cannot be used for PrEP. However, they received a $79,000 grant from Gilead—manufacturer of Truvada, the FDA-approved drug for PrEP—last year and they currently have 20 patients on the regimen.

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com AID Atlanta has become one of the largest HIV/AIDS service organizations in the country in its nearly 35 years in existence, but it’s the last three to four years that have drawn closer attention its way, and not always in a positive manner.

Since June 2012, the organization has had five executive directors, undergone an aggressive expansion to offer primary care services that led to falling nearly $1 million in debt, and last year became an affiliate of a controversial international HIV/AIDS service organization that has put out ads in opposition to PrEP. AID Atlanta’s leadership is now coming forward to address these and other issues, and starting to engage more with the media and let the community know where the organization stands—and more importantly where it’s headed.

The path to debt Nicole Roebuck has been on staff at AID Atlanta for nearly 16 years, so she’s seen more at the organization than nearly anyone else. Last October, she took over as interim executive director following the resignation of interim executive director James Hughey.

Of the five executive directors in less than four years, Roebuck points out that three of those were always intended to be interim replacements. This includes her, although she says she has thrown her hat into the ring for the permanent position, which she says the organization will announce in the next couple of months. And one of those permanent executive directors, Jose Diaz, resigned for health reasons.

But AID Atlanta’s leaders say it’s the decision to expand beyond serving just those living with and at risk of contracting HIV/ AIDS that led the agency down a difficult path. They opened up a $700,000 comprewww.thegeorgiavoice.com

Nicole Roebuck, interim executive director of AID Atlanta, says AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s stance on PrEP does not affect AID Atlanta. (Photo by Patrick Saunders)

“It went too big, it went too large, too fast. I think that’s what kind of caused some of the financial issues.”

—AID Atlanta interim executive director Nicole Roebuck on how the 2014 expansion to primary care services led the agency to end up nearly $1 million in debt hensive health center in Oct. 2014, the culmination of a plan that had been in the works since that January. By the end of the year, they were nearly $1 million in debt and looking for ways out of it by reaching out to other HIV/ AIDS agencies around the country.

“It went too big, it went too large, too fast,” Roebuck now says. “I think that’s what kind of caused some of the financial issues.”

She says the organization has now narrowed its focus back to serving those living with and at risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. AIDS Healthcare Foundation stance on PrEP In June 2015, AID Atlanta found someone to absorb its debt, and the announcement raised eyebrows. It was AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), whose president Michael

Weinstein drew criticism in 2014 for calling PrEP a “party drug.” Subsequent ad campaigns

by AHF (some of which have appeared in the Georgia Voice) have been viewed by many HIV/AIDS activists as anti-PrEP. The group claims that they’ve always had the same stance: they remain opposed to the widespread deployment of PrEP as a community-wide public health intervention, and that it should only be prescribed on a case-by-case basis for high-risk individuals, such as those who are unable or unwilling to use condoms.

But does AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s stance on PrEP affect whether and how often AID Atlanta offers PrEP to those at-risk populations in the metro Atlanta area?

“Absolutely not,” Roebuck says. “We have PrEP patients on a schedule as we speak.”

Roebuck says the majority of AID Atlanta’s

New board of directors Amended articles of incorporation filed with the Secretary of State’s office last June show that AID Atlanta Incorporated’s sole member is now AIDS Healthcare Foundation, and a 2014 auditor’s report dated July 30, 2015 shows the size of the board of directors was reduced from 22 down to three, and that those members are to be solely selected by AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

A recent update to AID Atlanta’s website shows that the new board of directors includes six people, none of whom are from Georgia (and one of whom is Weinstein).

However there is an AID Atlanta advisory board consisting of seven people—the board chair is the same as the former chair of AID Atlanta’s board of directors, Chip Newton.

Newton says there is not much difference between when he and the others were part of the board of directors instead of this newly formed advisory board, which meets quarterly. “Normally the board [of directors] would vote, and right now instead of voting, we provide recommendations on behalf of the advisory board and the local pulse of the community,” he says, adding, “Frankly, they want us to run our own agency. They’re not interested in running the day-to-day operations.” However, Roebuck says she reports directly to Michael Kahane, AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s bureau chief in the southern region.

The advisory board will have input on who becomes AID Atlanta’s permanent executive director, but according to Roebuck the final decision is up to the board of directors.

She adds, “I think that’s [the board’s] intent is to consider things locally—the landscape, the relationships, that all needs to be put into consideration.”

For an extended version of this story, go to www.thegavoice.com.

March 4, 2016 News 3

GEORGIANEWS

LGBT activists on high alert ‘Religious freedom’ bills battle heats up as legislative session enters final phase

tive, meaningful religious freedom measure in 2016 will be cataclysmic for the Georgia Republican party,” McKoon warns.

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com Day 30 of Georgia’s legislative session is a milestone day in the world of state politics. It’s the final turn of the race leading into the straightaway and then the finish line on March 24. Day 30, or Crossover Day, is the last day for bills to move from one chamber to the other and have an open path to becoming law this year—however, language from a bill that hasn’t “crossed over” can still be attached to a bill that has.

Crossover Day fell on Feb. 29 this year, and of the slew of so-called “religious freedom” bills proposed in the first 30 days of the session, none of them have attracted more attention and had a better chance of passing than House Bill 757—the “Pastor Protection Act” in name only ever since the language of state Sen. Greg Kirk’s (R-Americus) anti-LGBT First Amendment Defense Act was inserted in during a committee hearing last month.

The public pressure has been immense, with the business community in particular taking a visible stand. There’s Georgia Prospers, the coalition of over 300 businesses formed to combat such bills, with heavyweight members like Coca-Cola, Delta and Google. There’s a new business that comes out seemingly every day to voice their opposition to the bill, from Salesforce to Microsoft to Virgin.

It’s led Gov. Nathan Deal to huddle with House and Senate leadership to figure a way out of the national spotlight without stripping so much from the bill that conservative legislators find scads of “For Sale” signs stuck in their lawns when they return home to their districts later this month.

‘I really hope that the bill will die’ Lesbian state Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates) was not surprised that the backlash to last summer’s U.S. Supreme Court deci-

The backlash from businesses and the public at large have led Republican leaders to work on scaling back the anti-LGBT measures in House Bill 757. (File photo)

“I think that failure to act on a substantive, meaningful religious freedom measure in 2016 will be cataclysmic for the Georgia Republican party.”

—State Sen. Josh McKoon (R-Columbus) a supporter of House Bill 757 and author of Senate Bill 129, another so-called “religious freedom” bill sion on same-sex marriage would be this fierce.

She calls it “the worst session that we’ve ever had in our entire community’s life.”

Rep. Park Cannon (D-Atlanta), a queer women’s health advocate who won a special election for lesbian former state Rep. Simone Bell’s seat and took office Feb. 22, is making her opinion of the bill crystal clear.

“I really hope that the bill will die,” Cannon tells Georgia Voice. “I think it’s quite disgraceful that our state would move to pass legislation that could harm our economy, harm peoples’ lived experience and also where they work.”

However, state Sen. Josh McKoon (R-Columbus) stands by his vote in favor of the bill as it is currently written and criticizes business leaders who have spoken out about

it yet do business in countries where LGBT people can be imprisoned or worse.

“A lot of these CEOs are happy to make a statement to curry a little positive PR using the Georgia General Assembly as a foil, but if it comes to actually losing some money off the bottom line to pull out of countries that have these terrible criminal laws in place, they’re just absent without leave I guess is the best thing I can say about that,” McKoon tells Georgia Voice.

McKoon references the election of Sen. David Perdue (R-GA) and the rise of Donald Trump in the Republican presidential race, saying he’s not surprised by their ascent and that it’s due in part to establishment Republicans “pretending they are conservative.”

“I think that failure to act on a substan-

Compromises and concerns Drenner says that while she thinks it would be nice for no such bill to pass, “The win for our community would be the most narrowly-focused bill possible. It’s still a loss—I don’t want people to misunderstand what I’m saying,” she says, adding, “I’m saying that a win would be if there was a compromise and it didn’t encompass the whole entire world.

Maybe if it was just more like marriage-related activities. That would seem to be better than what’s out there right now with FADA attached to the Pastor Protection bill.”

Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality, says that while the public pressure has begun to work, those who oppose the bill need to remain active and vocal as the session dwindles to a close over the next few weeks.

“A lot of attention right now is on HB 757, but there are many bills, especially on the House side related to religious exemption legislation, that could be substituted into House Bill 757,” Graham says. “When they’re talking about ‘still working on the language,’ we need to make sure that they don’t just take the language from some other bill and put that on there in replacement of the horrible language of the First Amendment Defense Act.” Meanwhile he says his group will keep reviewing the remaining legislation and seeing if there are areas of compromise. Graham, Human Rights Campaign president Chad Griffin, Lambda Legal’s Simone Bell and about 50 concerned citizens delivered 75,000 emails and postcards to Gov. Deal’s office on March 2, in a show of the size of the opposition to such a bill.

And no rallies against the bill are scheduled as of yet, with Graham saying he doesn’t know if another one will happen or not.

“Rallies, while they’re important, it really is that direct constituent contact that has slowed down the process and can stop bad legislation from happening and that’s really where we have our efforts focused right now.”

For an extended version of this story, go to www.thegavoice.com.

4 News March 4, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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GEORGIANEWS

Inside so-called ‘conversion therapy’ in Georgia Practitioners throughout the state attempting to change peoples’ sexual orientation

tions that he often doesn’t have follow-up appointments after they leave, he says “at least half probably” are able to lessen their same-sex attraction and that he’s never had a complaint.

Despite the opinion on such therapy by almost every major medical, psychological and psychiatric association across the country, Almeter says he’s “never seen harm done” and compares his tactics favorably to those used by others.

“One of my most successful clients who has almost zero same-sex attraction at this point, back in the ‘70s he went through aversion therapy where they shocked you, which was horrible. Part of his healing was getting healed of those memories of what happened,” says Almeter, who, after asking, was notified that he was speaking to an LGBT media outlet.

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com Thanks to last summer’s U.S. Supreme Court ruling, same-sex couples can now legally marry in Georgia. But away from the celebrations, the exchanging of vows, and the couples pledging their love to each other in front of friends and family lies places where licensed counselors are attempting to change the sexual orientation or gender identity of both adults and children.

Georgia Voice has found numerous practitioners of so-called “conversion therapy” (also known as “ex-gay therapy” or “reparative therapy”) throughout the state, with some in the Atlanta area. It’s a practice that major medical associations like the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have deemed both ineffective and harmful.

But the practice is still legal in Georgia, although state Rep. Keisha Waites (D-Atlanta) has proposed a bill that would make it illegal for licensed professionals to engage in sexual orientation change efforts with anyone under 18 in Georgia.

Waites tells Georgia Voice she was inspired to pursue her bill after similar bills passed in California, Illinois, New Jersey and Oregon. She then read stories of young people being put into the therapy who eventually committed suicide as a result.

The bill does not currently include a ban on such therapy that addresses gender identity, but Waites says she is working with the National Center for Lesbian Rights and the Southern Poverty Law Center “to expand and perfect the language should we be successful in gaining a hearing.” However, the bill has not crossed over from one chamber to the other and has very little chance of passing this year.

‘Never seen harm done’ Dan Almeter is one such Georgia-based

Georgia Voice found numerous practitioners of so-called “conversion therapy” throughout the state. (Stock image)

“If somebody’s more on the zero end, I pretty much share with them that I’m not sure there’s much I can do to help you get heterosexually attracted. Somebody who is more in the middle there’s a lot more chance of success of working toward stronger heterosexual development.”

—Dan Almeter, an Augusta-based counselor and practitioner of “conversion therapy” practitioner of “conversion therapy.” He’s a member of NARTH (National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality) and is listed as a referral counselor by the Hope for Wholeness Network (an offshoot of the now-shuttered Exodus International), whose motto is “Freedom From Homosexuality Through Jesus Christ.”

The Augusta resident is also a pastoral leader and teacher in Alleluia Community, a Christian commune formed just weeks after the Roe v. Wade decision, the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court case legalizing abortion. Alleluia has its own fully-accredited K-12 school and what the Augusta Chronicle reports as over 700 members, most of whom live in an area called Faith Village, which has more than 100 homes.

“One of the Ten Words the Lord gave us during the early years of the community was to ‘Be an alternate society,’” Alleluia Community’s website reads. “In responding to that word we are striving to be a community where our ‘society’ and ‘culture’ are boldly and radically Christian. In this ‘alternate society’ based on Christian principles our form of government is ‘Pastoral,’ guided by the social principles of ‘Solidarity’ and ‘Subsidiarity.’ We recognize the primacy of the Family as the foundational unity of society and uphold the sovereignty of the family in its role in the formation and education of children.”

Almeter, a licensed professional counselor, says he has treated around 70 people in the last dozen years who wanted to change their same-sex attraction. While he cau-

‘It’s a developmental issue’ Almeter says he considers same-sex attraction a “condition” and a “mental health issue” like anxiety, OCD or depression.

But he’s eager to point out that he doesn’t work with clients that don’t want to attempt to change their sexual orientation, and that he doesn’t make any promises about changing. He sees same-sex attraction on a spectrum, and says that where one falls on that spectrum can determine how likely they are to change.

“If somebody’s more on the zero end, I pretty much share with them that I’m not sure there’s much I can do to help you get heterosexually attracted. Somebody who is more in the middle there’s a lot more chance of success of working toward stronger heterosexual development,” he says.

As expected, he’s against Waites’ bill banning the practice, saying it’s against what he believes the American Psychological Association stands for, which he says is client choice.

“I’m not a political activist, but a lot of gay people are political activists. If you say that you want to change an orientation, that directly affronts them, it’s personally attacking them. So they do everything they can to pass laws. Somehow their self-esteem is tied to…”

He pauses then continues.

“I just don’t believe that homosexuality is a normal variant. It’s a developmental issue.”

6 News March 4, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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NEWSBRIEFS Deal reacts as anti-gay ‘religious liberty’ bill backlash grows It didn’t take long after the Georgia Senate passed a hybrid anti-gay so-called “religious freedom” bill on Feb. 18 for the first Georgia company to announce they were pulling out of the state—less than 10 minutes to be exact.

373K, a gay-owned Decatur-based telecom company, tweeted “We are very saddened by the Georgia Senate which passed #HB757 also known as #FADA. It’s time to relocate.”

Brian Tolleson, the openly gay CEO of Atlanta-based digital entertainment company BARK BARK who had a hand in the creation of the LGBT Institute at the National Center for Civil and Human Rights, shed light on what the bill’s passage could mean for the state’s film and TV industry.

Tolleson to the AJC: “It would really do irreparable harm to our brand as a state,” he said. “This very assembly working on this bill has invested billions of taxpayer dollars growing an industry that would leave this state. They will boycott coming to shoot anything here. The powers that be in the industry really want to defeat Georgia’s rise as entertainment destination. And we’re handing it to them on a silver platter.”

LGBT groups to state GOP leaders: ‘Make the right decision’ A number of local and national LGBT groups have signed onto a letter to Gov. Nathan Deal and leadership in the state legislature calling on them not to pass an anti-gay hybrid “religious freedom” bill that has generated a massive backlash from the LGBT and business community.

The letter, sent to Deal, Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle, Senate President pro tem David Shafer and House Speaker David Ralston on Feb. 23, was signed by Georgia Equality, Georgia Unites Against Discrimination, Human Rights Campaign, Lambda Legal, Equality Federation, American Unity Fund, Freedom For All Americans, National Center for Lesbian Rights, National Center for Transgender Equality and National LGBTQ Task Force.

House Bill 757 is currently called the “Pastor Protection Act” but it took on a completely different look after the anti-gay language of state Sen. Greg Kirk’s (R-Americus) First Amendment Defense Act was inserted into it, opening up the door to discrimination against a number of groups. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Proposed anti-gay ‘religious freedom’ legislation has angered progressives and threatened a national boycott of Georgia businesses. (Photo by Patrick Saunders)

Former U.S. official: HB 757 ‘would lead to real harm to many people’ Meet Joe Whitley, this year’s Michael Bowers. Bowers, you’ll recall, is the former Georgia Attorney General that Georgia Equality hired last year to do an analysis of SB 129, state Sen. Josh McKoon’s (R-Columbus) so-called “religious freedom” bill.

This year, the group hired Whitley, a former federal prosecutor and U.S. Justice Department official, to do an analysis of HB 757, the anti-gay hybrid “religious freedom” bill that has created a national backlash.

Whitley delivered his analysis to the offices of Gov. Nathan Deal and House Speaker David Ralston on Feb. 24. He denounced the name of the anti-gay language inserted into the bill, saying, “As an initial matter, I note the contradiction that HB757’s drafters have deemed it the ‘Georgia First Amendment Defense Act.’ As you are no doubt aware, the First Amendment of the United States Constitution needs no legislative ‘defense,’” said Whitley.

Whitley reserved the bulk of his analysis to slam the bill for permitting discrimination and denying of equal protection under the law. He says passage of HB 757 “would lead to real harm to many people.”

Here’s another $650K Georgia will lose if HB 757 passes An academic group with 1,200 members and a $650,000 investment has vowed to move its conference out of Atlanta if a controversial “religious freedom” bill becomes law. House Bill 757 is currently called the “Pastor Protection Act” but it took on a completely different look after the anti-gay language of state Sen. Greg Kirk’s (R-Americus) First Amendment Defense Act was inserted into it, opening up the door to discrimination against the LGBT community and other groups.

“This bill authorizes discrimination against sexual minorities and as such we find the bill morally objectionable and socially destructive,” Southern Sociological Society president Barbara Risman tells the AJC. “Discrimination is in direct conflict with the principles of our organization and will prevent us from doing business in the State of Georgia.”

HB 757 is now the House’s burden, and Gov. Nathan Deal and House Speaker David Ralston are reportedly working behind the scenes to clean up the mess. It will likely not get taken back up until after Crossover Day on Feb. 29.

March 4, 2016 News 9

Outspoken PO Box 77401 • Atlanta, GA 30357 P: 404-815-6941; F: 404-963-6365

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Editor: Darian Aaron daaron@thegavoice.com Deputy Editor: Patrick Saunders psaunders@thegavoice.com Editorial Contributors: Ashleigh Atwell, Melissa Carter, Jim Farmer, Shannon Hames, Bill Kaelin, Ryan Lee, Kim Riggins, Simon Williamson

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Fine Print

All material in Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request.

A single copy of Georgia Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year. Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to Georgia Voice, PO Box 77401, Atlanta, GA 30357. Georgia Voice is published every other Friday by The Georgia Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices.

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10 Outspoken March 4, 2016

“I understand that a lot of people use religion as a reason to be against gay people, but there was no ‘Thou Shall Not Be Gay.’ God never said that, and I really think that our pope now is boss. He was saying something the other day that religion should be all encompassing and should be about loving everyone. And I think people take the wrong message sometimes.”

— Ronda Rousey responding to boxer Manny Pacquiao’s “gays are worse than animals” comment to TMZ. (Feb. 23, Screencap image)

“Hillary Clinton’s support for marriage equality may be a political calculation. And you know what, we worked hard to change the math so that those political calculations would start adding up in our favor. So sincere change of heart or political calculation — either way — I will take it. It’s fucking moronic — it’s political malpractice — to attack a politician for not coming around on your issues fast enough.”

— Activist Dan Savage in a column for “The Stranger.”

(Feb. 22, Screencap image)

“I had posted something that was very political, and the amount of negative comments was really heart-wrenching.

Then, [at a restaurant], this older black dude walked up and said, ‘I didn’t want to bother you, I didn’t want a selfie, I just wanted to let you know that the story line of Jamal really made it easier for me to talk to my son about his sexuality.’ I needed him at that moment.

But apparently he needed the story line at the moment.”

—“Empire” star Jussie Smollett in the NY Times article “What It’s Really Like To Work in Hollywood.” (Feb. 24, Screencap image) www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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IN THE MARGINS Creepoftheweek

By Ashleigh Atwell

Atlanta’s LGBT community is a farce Ashleigh Atwell is a queer lesbian writer and organizer born and raised in Atlanta, GA.

“Midtown is definitely a gay hotspot but only if you’re a certain type of gay.

It’s easy to wax poetic about how great Atlanta is when you aren’t living pillow to post as my elders would say. GayTL can’t afford to be that obtuse when there are people at the Capitol trying to screw all of us over.”

I’m not a bandwagon writer, so before I sat down to type, I scrolled through a couple of months’ worth of Georgia Voice columnist archives to make sure I wasn’t beating a dead horse. I didn’t find anything. I was relieved but I was also disappointed because it proves my point: Atlanta only has an LGBT community by name and it has been that way for a long time.

This article was supposed to be about how LGB people are leaving transgender people behind and it still is but the divide is so much deeper than that. The Georgia state Senate recently passed HB 757, a so-called “religious freedom bill,” and LGBT Georgians are rightfully livid. Religious freedom bills have become the newest bigot trend after the opposition realized they were losing the fight against marriage equality.

I’m pissed about it but I’m also mad that the mainstream (white) LGBT community doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the acronym until the first two letters are affected. As long as the white gay status quo isn’t disturbed, it doesn’t matter. Everyone is pissed about HB 757 but doesn’t bat an eyelash at the “trans panic” defense that is legal in every state except California. But that doesn’t matter because no one cares when trans people, especially women, are murdered anyway, right?

In 28 states, including Georgia, a person can be fired for being gay but the number rises to 32 if a person is transgender. In late February, a Richmond, Virginia transgender woman went to the media after she was fired for being trans mere hours after being hired www.thegeorgiavoice.com

by KFC. Caitlyn Jenner has people thinking trans issues are in the forefront but nah— not close. A trans space at Pride might pop up every now and again but GayTL, like the rest of the supposed LGBT hubs, doesn’t really care about trans people.

As I scrolled through the archives and perused a couple of articles, one statement by one columnist caught my eye and subsequently made it twitch. He bragged about the “gays” turning “undesirable areas” into “vibrant, thriving areas.” No shade to my fellow writer, but I was disturbed. People like me—colored and poor—are usually the ones that are pushed out by “revitalization” efforts. Midtown is definitely a gay hotspot but only if you’re a certain type of gay.

It’s easy to wax poetic about how great Atlanta is when you aren’t living pillow to post as my elders would say. GayTL can’t afford to be that obtuse when there are people at the Capitol trying to screw all of us over.

We cannot just call ourselves a community; we should be living it as well. I should be able to walk my black behind into any establishment that claims to be queer friendly and feel comfortable. I shouldn’t have to feel left out because of some twink’s disdain for my skin color. I shouldn’t have to worry about my friends and I being kicked out of an establishment because our attire is too ethnic for the owner’s (who can’t spell du-rag properly) taste a la Blake’s.

As Assata Shakur once said, we must love each other and support each other. Until we can do that, there is no such thing as an LGBT community in Atlanta.

Manny Pacquiao: Begging for a homophobic knockout

By D’ANNE WITKOWSKI Let’s pretend that it’s your job to get punched in the head over and over and over again by muscular men who train for hours every day with the specific goal of hitting you harder. Granted, you also hit these men in the head, but that doesn’t change the fact that getting punched is your job. And you do this for years.

It might not surprise the people around you if, after awhile, you started saying really stupid shit. Which leads us to professional boxer and Philippine Senate candidate Manny Pacquiao.

Earlier this month during a debate televised by Filipino station TV5, Pacquiao, who is running for Senate, and the other candidates were asked about their views on samesex marriage, which is illegal in the Philippines. Pacquiao’s answer was clearly the result of being punched in the head too many times.

“It’s just common sense,” he said. “Do you see animals mating with the same sex? If you have male-to-male or female-to-female (relationships), then [gay] people are worse than animals.”

Later he posted a Bible verse about putting gays to death on his Instagram account.

Well, this isn’t the first time LGBT people have been compared to animals.

Manny Pacquiao And this isn’t the first time someone has pointed to non-human species for evidence that being a homo is unnatural.

It is not, as Pacquiao claims, “common sense.” What is common, however, is the well-documented instances of animals other than humans getting, as scientists put it, “gay up in this bitch.”

Pacquiao faced some pretty steep consequences for his “worse than animals” comment. Nike dropped him. Pacquiao did apologize, for what it’s worth. And it’s not worth much.

Does Pacquiao have a right to his own opinion? Of course he does. But he doesn’t have a right to his own facts.

March 4, 2016 Outspoken 11

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Flower Cottage on Main: 27 years in bloom “This business is really an Gay business owner Richard Ramey talks flowers and the love art form. We enjoy being able of people that keeps him going to put together something

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com When Richard Ramey opened Flower Cottage on Main in East Point there were eight florists in the area. Today there’s only one.

That was 27 years ago, and since then a lot has changed, but Ramey’s business is still standing.

Situated along Main St. in East Point’s historic downtown, Flower Cottage is one of two businesses that Ramey owns, The Atlanta Eagle being the other. The latter has become a staple in Atlanta’s LGBT community with both businesses exemplifying Ramey’s brand of spirited and ‘people first’ entrepreneurship.

Speaking of people, Ramey’s gift as a florist has landed him on the contact lists of such celebrities as Queen Latifah, Tyler Perry and the late Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Jackson. He served as The King of Pop’s personal florist for two years and was responsible for beautifying parties inside Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. He was also chosen to provide all of the flowers for the homegoing service for Coretta Scott King, wife of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and a vocal LGBT rights advocate.

Georgia Voice caught up with Ramey on a cool Thursday morning in East Point, and like Flower Cottage, he was charming, accessible and eager to share the story behind his journey as a successful gay business owner for nearly three decades.

Georgia Voice: What motivated you to open Flower Cottage on Main?

Richard Ramey: I opened this business on June 5, 1989. My first landlord was Maynard Jackson. We go back a long time. He www.thegeorgiavoice.com

different and not just what’s on the internet. But whatever you want, we can do.”

—Richard Ramey was a great guy. The love of flowers and the love of the industry came from high school.

I was always a class officer or president of the class—so I did a lot of proms and dances— just organizing events. As I got older, I realized that this is something I wanted to do.

Richard Ramey is the owner of Flower Cottage on Main and The Atlanta Eagle.

(Photo by Darian Aaron)

What would you say is the most challenging aspect of running Flower Cottage on Main?

It’s a very challenging business. I don’t think people realize that there are a lot of deadlines in this business. People will call and say, ‘Oh I need it there by 12 or by 1 or by 2.’ My main objective is to keep my customers happy every day. I think being in any business for 27 years gives you an idea of how much I love it—because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t still be here. I enjoy the community, the opportunities and I love people. I think that’s where the two businesses come together: a nightclub and a florist. I have an opportunity to always be around people and that’s what I love most of all.

about our company; not only do we have the volume but we also have the quality. There’s guidelines that you have to meet to be a part of one of those companies. It also enables us to deliver flowers all over the world. We go through FTD to get the flowers there.

Flower Cottage on Main is part of the Florists’ Transworld Delivery (FTD) family of florists. Why is this important for customers to know?

There’s two companies: FTD and Teleflora and they’re both national companies.

I’m in the top 100 in the nation of about 17,000 shops. Being in the top 100 says a lot

What sets Flower Cottage on Main apart from other flower shops?

If you go up front [in the store] you’ll see very few arrangements pre-made. We like to custom make each piece. Unfortunately, with the internet today we get a lot of orders where people say, ‘I want what’s in the picture,’ so we have to follow the guidelines

Details

Flower Cottage on Main 2821 Main St. East Point, GA 30344 404-768-2626 www.flowercottageonmain.com

in the picture. And then we have many customers that say, ‘You know what I like, make me something beautiful.’ This business is really an art form. We enjoy being able to put together something different and not just what’s on the internet. But whatever you want, we can do.

What do you know now that you wish you’d known at the start of your business?

Tough question. If you go to bed at night and you didn’t learn something that day then you really had a bad day. I listen to people and I pay attention to my surroundings and I’m always very happy when I learn something new in a day.

Overall, I’d say the amount of dedication you have to give a business for it to be successful. You just can’t open the doors and they will come. You’ve got to be a part of the business and you’ve got to be willing to put your whole self into that business or you won’t be here. I feel that I’ve done that.

March 4, 2016 Community 13

THE POWER OF LGBT MEDIA

‘Queer As Folk’:

“My parents thought I was being a responsible student by being in bed before 10 p.m., but I was on a covert mission. Still closeted at the time, I wasn’t eager to explain either what I was attempting to watch nor its TV-MA rating.”

A welcomed LGBT representation Atlanta writer/photographer on how TV show gave him the courage to be his authentic self

By KEVIN DWAYNE As a Millennial, I was fortunate to see the rising placement of gay characters on mainstream television. However, I remember a point where there was nothing positive in which I could identify with, as a gay teen.

Most programming was heavily straight and if gay characters were included, they were the punchline or stereotypical hyperbole.

This was discouraging to boys, like myself, who were trying to make sense of the feelings and conflicts experienced while growing up with same-sex attraction. This lack of meaningful representation began to change for me with the premiere of Showtime’s “Queer As Folk” on December 3, 2000.

I remember anxiously waiting for the two-hour premiere to begin as I prepared for class the next morning. In high school, it was propitious that I had premium cable in my bedroom. My parents thought I was being a responsible student by being in bed before 10 p.m., but I was on a covert mission. Still

closeted at the time, I wasn’t eager to explain either what I was attempting to watch nor its TV-MA rating.

The show began with a very fast-paced intro and theme song entitled “Spunk” by the musical duo Green Buck. My heart raced as I tried to figure out what would be the best volume, loud enough to hear the lines but low enough to avoid my mom barging in my room to inquire.

My eyes were filled with plenty of eye-candy as the first scene opened in a colorfully vibrant nightclub with hundreds of men, and some women, dancing liberally to techno music.

“The thing you need to know is it’s all about sex” was the first line introducing one of the main themes and also a lead character, Michael. The next two hours were filled with plenty of the aforementioned sex, drugs, politics, uncommon family dynamics, and lessons in unrequited love. In that time, I was entranced; I was in another world where I wasn’t a minority, but was in the majority. I began to get answers to many questions, some of which I didn’t know to ask. The show provided much insight and revealed there were people just like myself. I no longer felt alone in my sexuality, especially, with my newfound friends that made this show a hit.

Weekly, I found myself identifying with characters on the show. It was easy to connect with Justin Taylor, a seventeen-year-old

naive high school senior looking to bond with another male counterpart. He soon finds this attachment in Brian Kinney, the promiscuous bachelor who avoids relationships at all cost. I, too, was around his age when I met my older boyfriend. I can also recall being clueless about the community in which I desired to interact.

We see this couple go through a series of trials; one of the most prominent was when a classmate attacked Justin in a hateful rage after his senior prom. This pivotal moment shed light on gay bashing, which was routinely brushed under the rug in mainstream media. It was easy to align the subject matter to the real death in 1998 of gay teenager Matthew Shepard, which was also motivated by anti-gay hatred. Viewers were given a wide-angle perspective on what an event like this does to the psyche of the victim and the effects on those people around them.

Another character I cultivated a connec-

tion to was Michael Novotny, the 29-year-old average boy-next-door and hopeless romantic who forged a very tight-knit relationship with his hilarious mother, Debbie. His character brought warmth to the show. Once I came out to my mother, we shared a similar connection to that of these characters.

“Queer As Folk’s” five seasons supplemented me in high school through my first years of college. It was a show that gave me hope and encouraged me in adolescence; it provided a sense of security and confidence while living in a world that demonizes LGBT people. The writing added depth and breathed life into varying gay characters, outside of the stereotypes that were so popularly projected. The subjects and themes operated like a tutorial on what to expect in the real world as a gay person.

Although the show didn’t have any main characters that featured people of color, the experience of being gay remains quite fluid with similarities and differences that transcend race.

In my adult life, I’ve met many people like Justin Taylor, Brian Kinney and Michael Novotny. Thank you, “Queer As Folk.”

14 The Power of LGBT Media March 4, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

THE POWER OF LGBT MEDIA

I learned my brother was gay from The Advocate Mark S. King recalls how a gay magazine facilitated coming out and brotherly love

By MARK S. KING It was 1975 and I was 14 years old, all gangly limbs and stubborn acne, and I was sitting in the passenger seat of his parked car.

Splayed across my lap was the magazine, open to the page he had selected. I was staring at the photo with something like revelation.

“I wasn’t sure if I should show this to you,” he said. He was a little nervous. “But I think it’s wonderful.”

He had the exquisite name of Pericles Alexander, and was once the arts critic for The Shreveport Times, my hometown paper. Now, in his retirement, he had found a willing pupil in me, a teenager that loved working on summer musicals while secretly grappling with my own emerging sexuality.

Pericles was a kind mentor, nothing more.

He drove me to local plays and regaled me with stories of Broadway actors and theatrical gossip. We would huddle together in the dusty seats of our community theater, me hanging on to his every whispered word as the house lights dimmed for the latest production.

When he parked his car in front of my family’s house that night after a show, he quietly pulled the magazine out of a plain brown envelope. He thumbed through it while I watched, suddenly nervous about what the pages might reveal, and then he handed it to me. I set the magazine in my lap and my eyes quickly grew the size of serving platters. Never in my young years had I seen anything as startling as the image before me.

There were men in the midst of a musical production number of some kind, and they were all nearly naked. Among them, the unmistakable and familiar face of a man, grinning buoyantly, with nothing but a bedazzled butterfly the size of the palm of my hand covering his crotch. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

“I set the magazine in my lap and my eyes quickly grew the size of serving platters.

Never in my young years had I seen anything as startling as the image before me.”

That man, the one with the rhinestone butterfly as a makeshift jock, was my older brother, Richard. And he looked triumphant in his grand pose.

I forced my eyes away from Richard and scanned the page for an explanation.

The article was about “Boy Meets Boy,” an off-Broadway sensation set in the 1930s that adopted the spirit of an old Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers musical. Except that, in this story, there were two Fred Astaires and no Ginger Rogers.

My brother is in a gay musical in New York City, I marveled to myself. My brother is nearly naked. My brother is in a glossy magazine. My brother is nearly naked.

“Are you alright?” Pericles asked.

“Sure,” I said tentatively, and I flipped the magazine over to its cover. “The Advocate:

Mark S. King is an award-winning blogger and HIV/AIDS activist. His work has appeared in The Advocate, which was pivotal in his coming out.

The National Gay Newsmagazine,” it said.

I had never heard of such a thing. My own struggle to accept myself was purely internal, and often in conflict with nearly everything I witnessed or read growing up in Louisiana.

My Southern instincts suggested the magazine must be perverse, but something inside me knew better.

And my mind was still trying to process that photo of my brother, captured in an outlandish moment, yes, but performing on stage and doing what he loved, even if he had never mentioned the show to me during one of his phone calls from New York, much less come out to me.

Richard and I weren’t close, not yet. He was fifteen years older and had left home to pursue his acting dreams by the time I was a toddler. Many years later we would both find ourselves living in Los Angeles and that gave us the chance, finally, to carve out a loving friendship as adults. But in that moment, as

I sat in that car in the dark, Richard was simply a happy gay man frozen in an outrageous pose of defiance and joy.

“I think appearing off-Broadway is really impressive,” Pericles offered. “So I thought you would enjoy this. But… maybe you better not take this inside.” He gently slid the magazine from my grasp. He returned it to the brown envelope and tucked it beside his seat.

“Sure, okay,” I answered, and I reached for the door. My head was swimming. “Thanks, Pericles. Yeah. I’m excited for him.” And that much was true.

I trotted inside and gave my parents a report about the play I had just seen, parroting the review Pericles had offered during the ride home. And then I went upstairs to bed.

I slept soundly that night, my dreams filled with theater and music, butterflies and rhinestones, and an unfamiliar but comforting emotion. It felt like the inauguration of a special kind of pride.

March 4, 2016 The Power of LGBT Media 15

THE POWER OF LGBT MEDIA

Because Oprah said so In the late ‘90s, Oprah Winfrey set out to create ‘change your life TV,’ and in many ways she did

By SHANNON HAMES Back in my closeted days, I was a stay-athome mom steeped in a fundamental evangelical culture. I was training to become a Biblical counselor to find out what a Biblical counselor would tell me to do to cure me of being a lesbian.

My life consisted of a lot of Bible memorization, prayer, searching my heart for unconfessed sin and generally being someone that I really wasn’t. I spent a lot of time in ladies’ Bible study feeling emotionally attracted to other women being vulnerable and open with each other, then driving home feeling sinful, guilty and not blaming God at all for not “healing” me.

I lived in paranoia that someone would figure out that I was gay. Maybe they would see my DVD of “Groundhog Day” and figure out that I was hot for Andie MacDowell.

Then, my life would be over.

I toyed with the idea of living in truth for the first time when I saw an Oprah

show in October of 1998. The episode was “Finding Your Authentic Self ” and she and author Sarah Ban Breathnach (‘Simple Abundance’) were discussing women who long for more in their lives. Oprah kept saying things like, “What would the world be like if you were just authentic? What if you stopped wearing masks and pretending you’re something you aren’t?”

Easy for you to say, Oprah.

However, an idea was planted and I started to allow myself to imagine what it would be like if I could just be my real, lesbian self.

What would my life be like if people knew I was gay (and didn’t care), I could marry a woman, have a family with her, fall asleep holding her and let her do all of the decorating so I didn’t have to?

This tiny nugget of imaginary real estate was hidden in a corner of my mind. At night, when my work was done and everyone was fed, bathed and the house was in order, I would lay down to go to bed (even when I wasn’t tired). I would visit my imaginary wife (who looked exactly like Andie MacDowell) and our imaginary life and spend time with her doing mostly the same things I was doing in my real life. But with her, it was amazing.

I think this small act of claiming my own world in my head, where it was safe from discovery, was my primary coping mechanism

“Oprah kept saying things like, ‘What would the world be like if you were just authentic?

What if you stopped wearing masks and pretending you’re something you aren’t?’

Easy for you to say, Oprah.”

for that stressful time in my life. It was a place where hope lived and I went there as often as I could – in all of the quiet moments.

About eight years ago, I went to a coffee shop with one of my best friends. I was having friendly conversation with the barista when she said, “You remind me of Shane from ‘The L Word’”. I felt the blood drain from my face and my heart began to pound while I pretended not to know what she was talking about.

Yes, I heard of “The L Word” in a doctor’s office magazine. I knew it was about lesbians and, no, I had never seen it. But I knew what it was.

Bemused, my bestie defended me. “She has always been a rocker-chick tomboy, ever since we were kids.”

But there was a shift after that. Some other

woman (who seemed normal) was watching a show about lesbians, had gaydar and picked up on my gayness when I was so far in the closet I was finding Christmas presents.

I decided to do the unthinkable: I bought the first season of “The L Word” and watched the DVDs on my laptop when I took my son to football practice. I sat in the car at the back of the parking lot and watched women living openly gay lives and I wanted that life for myself. Also, the sex.

I wanted that, too. A lot.

The desire in me to have a life like this grew until I finally mustered the courage to come out and be my authentic self. As you might expect, Oprah was right. It’s amazing!

I never married Andie MacDowell (although I remain hopeful) and I had to decorate my house myself. My real life isn’t like the one I imagined all of those years (except for doing the same mundane things). Still, I am profoundly grateful that those two events happened to help me get to the place where I can now happily live my authentic life.

Shannon Hames credits ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ and Showtime’s ‘The L Word’ for placing her on a path towards self-acceptance. (Publicity photos)

16 The Power of LGBT Media March 4, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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18 A&E March 4, 2016

What’s your personal favorite song on the album and why?

I’m bad at favorites … I can’t choose a favorite song! They’re all so different. There’s no way to pick just one.

One of my favorite voices of all time was that of the late, great Freddie Mercury. He had the voice of an angel. When Queen asked you to tour with them, what did it feel like for you to step into his shoes?

It was an honor to be asked to sing with them. I first met Brian and Roger at the “American Idol” finale and they were so sweet and so supportive. It’s great to be still touring with them—we are doing some European festivals this summer.

Sometimes, having large-scale success can turn people into something they aren’t. Have you ever felt you were losing yourself or do you feel, instead, like you’re evolving as a person?

I wouldn’t call it evolution; I’d call it adaptation. You need to adapt to things changing constantly, or else you’ll get lost.

What do you do to stay grounded?

I have the same friends that I’ve had for years. After getting off of a long tour, just getting together and having dinner with that group of friends seems to ground me.

Who are you listening to musically?

I listen to everything – I’ve got music constantly playing. That new Zayn Malik song (“Pillowtalk”) is really pretty. “Drive” by Pretty Sister is a great driving jam and I love that new song from AlunaGeorge “I’m In Control”.

There seems to be a movement in Hollywood from LGBT actors to expose the difficulties that they have finding work in that industry. Do you feel it’s the same type of environment for LGBT singers

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Adam Lambert ‘The Original High Tour’ March 8, 8 p.m.

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There are a lot of parallels between the two industries. There are different expectations because in music, it’s personal, whereas in film/TV, it’s playing a part.

What hurdles (if any) have you faced because of your sexuality?

Being a social minority always comes with its challenges.

If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be and why?

I’d love to have dinner with Freddie Mercury.

I’ve heard so many great stories from the Queen guys over the years, and they say that we would have gotten along great.

Oh, he would be in my top 5 list, too. You are coming to Atlanta next week – do you have anything you want to say to your fans in the ATL? I can’t wait to see all of your faces at the Tabernacle on Tuesday night! I’m very proud of “The Original High” tour. I worked very hard to put together a show that takes the audience on a journey with me… from the dark, to the heart, and then to the club for a big dance party! I hope everyone will come out and see me.

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ACTING OUT

By JIM FARMER

Lights up on ‘Into The Woods,’ ‘And Justice For All’ It wasn’t planned, but the early months of 2016 have become a Stephen Sondheim musical bonanza. Actor’s Express has just finished a version of “Sweeney Todd” and now Aurora Theatre is set to tackle one of the gay composer’s most famous works, “Into the Woods.” We caught up with Justin Anderson, one of the busiest directors around (including the gay-themed “Vonya and Sonia and Masha and Spike” from last year) and Aurora’s associate artistic director, to tell us about his take on the musical.

Georgia Voice: So what drew you and Aurora to “Into the Woods?”

Justin Anderson: This is the third time I have danced with the material. I did a production when I was a high school teacher back in 2005 and then a production in 2014 at KSU, so when we were bandying around the Aurora schedule, this felt like kind of an anchor, with some familiarity. I didn’t want anything that felt reminiscent of the original production, or the film version that recently came out.

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Where does this fit into Sondheim’s oeuvre?

I would say it’s probably one of his most accessible, like “Sweeney Todd.” It seems to be what the average Joe off the street knows.

Why does this show have such a gay appeal?

Lyrically, in Act Two, you get into (notions) such as the idea of figuring it out, how to own your life and your pursuit of happiness and the choices you have to make.

Of course, in 1986 when Sondheim wrote this, it wasn’t an overt exploration of the AIDS epidemic, but it certainly has lots of overtones for the time period. It gets really dark, really fast.

It was his way of exploring, both he and writer James Lapine. There is a lot of the blame game in Act Two - “It’s your fault; No, it’s your fault.”

It’s an indictment of the Reagan administration, both overt and covert. It’s not like “The Normal Heart” though. It’s much more metaphoric.

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20 A&E March 4, 2016 1

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Atlanta Women’s Chorus and Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus will unite in song for ‘And Justice For All.’ (Publicity photo)

Details ‘Into the Woods’

March 10 – April 17 Aurora Theatre 128 East Pike St., Lawrenceville, GA, 30046 www.auroratheatre.com ‘And Justice for All’ ‘And Justice for All’ 8 p.m., March 18 and 2 p.m. and 8 p.m., March 19 Peachtree Road United Methodist Church 3180 Peachtree Rd. NE Atlanta, GA 30305 www.voicesofnote.org Men’s Chorus (AGMC) and its sister organization, the Atlanta Women’s Chorus (AWC); join forces at an upcoming event. The concert “And Justice For All” is the project that has inspired the collaboration between the groups, collectively referred to as Voices of Note.

The inspiration comes both from a place of unity between the two choruses but also a desire to change hearts and minds through music, says Kevin Robison, artistic director of AGMC. “We sought an opportunity to perform together in something that is unique, not the norm. We do want to maintain our own identity, but we saw an opportunity and took it.”

Dr. Melissa Arasi, artistic director of the Atlanta Women’s Chorus since its inception three years ago, feels the concert is one that, despite its themes, is ultimately uplifting and inspirational. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

EATING MY WORDS

By CLIFF BOSTOCK

Keeping it ‘Rreal’ with authentic Mexican cuisine When I die and take my place at Satan’s dinner table, I’ll be frequently ordering spicy food from Latin American countries. I’ve rehearsed my afterlife twice in recent weeks.

You’ll like these places.

Rreal Tacos (110 6th St., 404-4585887, www.rrealtacos.com): This restaurant in a shiny, nondescript Midtown building was a shock. It’s rreal Mexican for real, opened by Adrian Villarreal, who worked with top chef Richard Blais at The Spence for a couple of years.

Consider his full resume: he grew up in his family’s restaurant business in Monterrey, attended Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, where he worked in two prestigious restaurants and earned a degree in economics. Before taking the helm at The Spence, he was at Joel and Tap. All of this has come to fruition with brilliant but subtly riffed food.

The big deal is the tacos, of course. My favorite is the trompo – pork roasted on a revolving spit with pineapple, smoky peppers, and spices. We know that as al pastor but Villarreal explained that it’s called trompo in his native area of Mexico. There are carnitas – my test of taquerias in town, and Villarreal’s are just about perfect because the meat is long-cooked and crisped, which most kitchens seem to avoid. An amazing don’t-miss taco is the braised chicken Veracruzana with tomatoes, olives, capers, garlic, and onion. These and four others, including a veggie one, are available on flour or housemade corn tortillas. Stunning salsas, including my favorite tomatillo, are available for 50 cents along with freebies like organic shaved radishes and fresh jalapenos.

Don’t fail to order a few sides like glutenfree fried avocados with salsa or the deeply flavored vegan guajillo bean soup. There are many others including roasted local sweet potatoes with crema and queso fresco. Still the best aguas frescas you’ve ever tasted.

One warning: you won’t find chips and salsa, and you won’t need them. Villarreal is clear why. He doesn’t want people sitting at tables and only munching them until they www.thegeorgiavoice.com

The Bandeja de la Abuela Pasia, a popular dish on the menu at Las Delicias de la Abuela.

(Photo by Cliff Bostock)

are too full to eat anything else. Prices, by the way, are very low. Tacos, for example, are only $2.99. There’s a $9.95 special of two tacos, a soda, and a side.

Las Delicias de la Abuela (5499 Buford Hwy., 770-356-4451, lasdeliciasdelaabuelaatl.com). This Colombian restaurant’s name roughly translates as “grandmother’s delights.” A waiter planning to open a restaurant catering to Atlanta’s enormous Colombian community recently referred me to it. And speaking of “enormous,” that also describes this restaurant’s menu and portions.

You’re going to probably need some help with translation. In my opinion the go-to dish here is the bandeja de la abuela paisa because it gives you a broad taste of the restaurant’s specialties. Included are an arepa, rice, a hunk of sausage, an admittedly tough but deliciously seasoned steak, avocados, a fried egg, a sweet plantain, and a pot of beans.

You might want to go on the weekend when there is a menu of more exotic specialties like tongue and oxtail, plus time-intensive stews. But anytime you go, it’s cheap, cheap, cheap.

Cliff Bostock, PhD, is a longtime Atlanta food critic and former psychotherapist who now practices life coaching for creative types; 404-518-4415.

March 4, 2016 Columnists 21

B

T ES

LGBT

Our Guide to the Best LGBT Events in Atlanta for March 4-17

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TA N A AT L EVENT

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SATURDAY, MARCH 5

The Atlanta Opera opens the classic “The Pirates of Penzance,” 8 p.m., running through March 13, Cobb Energy Centre, www.cobbenergycentre.com (Publicity photo)

FRIDAY, MARCH 4

The Indigo Girls perform with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra at 8 p.m., www.atlantasymphony.org Come out to ONYX’s Hanky Code night, which includes a silent auction, demos, a special appearance by Leatherman of Color 2016 Khalid El Bey and DJ Ron Pullman spinning, 10 p.m. – 2 a.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaeagle.com

FRIDAY, MARCH 4

Written by out playwright Joe DiPietro, Horizon Theatre’s very funny musical “The Toxic Avenger” runs through March 13, with an 8 p.m. show today, www.horizontheatre.com (Publicity photo)

22 Best Bets March 4, 2016

ebrating fashion and film, presents “Be Yourself; Everyone Else Is Already Taken” — the first U.S. exhibition featuring the work of artist, stylist and designer Daniel Lismore — through April 1, www.scadfash.org

DJ Seth Breezy joins Jungle for the Jerseys and Jocks events, www.jungleatl.com

It is Sunday FUNday with GLAAD Atlanta. Join the American Poolplayers Association (APA) as they host GLAAD Atlanta for an afternoon of billiards, booze and entertainment. Besides the eight pool tables, dart boards, poker, board games and arcades the fabulous Calico Deville will perform. Entrance donation is $10 per person to benefit GLAAD, 2- 5 p.m., The Independent, www.theindependentatlanta.com

Bring a tasty dish and plenty to talk about to the Lesbian 50+ Potluck and Social, 6 – 8 p.m., Rush Center Annex, www.rushcenteratl.org

SUNDAY, MARCH 6

MONDAY, MARCH 7

Purim off Ponce is SOJOURN’s (Southern Jewish Resource Network for

SCAD FASH, the Savannah College of Art and Design’s museum cel-

SATURDAY, MARCH 5

EVENT SPOTLIGHT

Gender and Sexual Diversity) annual fundraiser. Now in its tenth year, Purim off Ponce has been known as one of Atlanta’s best costume parties, with great drinks, dancing, and of course, drag queens.

All proceeds from Purim off Ponce support the important work of SOJOURN. Purim off Ponce 2016 honors the work of Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality.

In recognition of his longtime support of SOJOURN, Jeff will receive the Michael Jay Kinsler Rainmaker Award. 8 – 11:59 p.m., Le Fais do-do, 1611 Ellsworth Industrial Blvd NW, Atlanta, GA 30318

Come to Woofs for a $10 beer bust celebrating manager Aaron Born’s birthday and a new non-smoking policy, 4 – 8 p.m. www.woofsatlanta.com

Fabio Campos spins at Xion Atlanta, 3 a.m., www.facebook.com/ events/1693280764252907

The PFLAG support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning people and their parents and family meets tonight from 7:30 – 9 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, www.uuca.org

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

TELL US ABOUT YOUR LGBT EVENT Submit your LGBT event for inclusion in our online and print calendars by emailing event info to editor@thegavoice.com Writing the Walls Down: An Evening of LGBTQ Genre-Breaking, explores the physical and metaphorical significance of walls within the LGBT community. What stories do city walls, border walls, prison walls have to tell us? What stories are stuck inside bedroom walls, kitchen walls, and the walls that separate neighbors from each other? How do these walls mirror the ones we learned to build inside our bodies? And what have been the consequences? Over 45 international writers and artists reflect on these questions and more in this groundbreaking anthology. Featuring readings on this night by contributors Vanessa Huang and Alexis Gumbs and co-editor Amir Rabiyah, 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

TUESDAY, MARCH 8

It’s an especially hot night of the week at Blake’s – Latino Tuesday with guest DJs, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com Gay rocker and “American Idol” alum Adam Lambert visits the Tabernacle, 8 p.m., www.tabernacleatl.com Politics, sex, religion, loss, and beauty – all of the topics that you can’t talk about over dinner but can at a museum – are open for discussion in “Art AIDS America,” an exhibition that reveals for the first time how the AIDS crisis forever changed American art.

Its stop at Kennesaw State University’s Zuckerman Museum of Art is the only Southern stop on its national tour. Tonight, artists Robert Sherer and Kia LeBeija each give an artist talk discussing their artworks, practices, and how the HIV and AIDS epidemic shaped their creative processes. 6:30 – 7:30 p.m., zuckerman.kennesaw.edu.

Join Charis for a special book event in honor of International Women’s Day. “The Strength of My Soul: Stories of Sisterhood, Triumph and Inspiration” is a new anthology featuring twenty-seven women from a variety of races, classes, and backgrounds sharing their greatest joys and their greatest pains. Join editor SharRon Jamison and contributors April VanMansfeild, Ava Cary, Yvette D Bennett, Kim J

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9

The new Cirque du Soleil show, “Kurios,” has opened at Atlantic Station, with an 8 p.m. curtain tonight, www.cirquedusoleil.com (Publicity photo) King, Angelia Henderson, Nicole Beth and Dr. Carole Hysmith for a wide ranging discussion of the stories that shape our lives. 7:30 – 9 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9

It’s karaoke night at the newly reopened Cockpit, 465 Boulevard SE, Atlanta, GA 30312

THURSDAY, MARCH 10

Enjoy the Ciao Winter Queer Ride tonight, 7 p.m. with a TBD route, www.facebook.com/ events/1107074485971038 Join Charis for a celebratory conversation with Alexis Pauline Gumbs, co-editor of “Revolutionary Mothering: Love on the Frontlines,” an anthology that centers mothers of color and marginalized mothers’ voices in exploring connections between movement work and the work of parenting. “Revolutionary Mothering” argues that the challenges faced by movements working for anti-violence, anti-imperialist, and queer liberation, as well as racial, economic, reproductive, gender, and food justice are the same challenges that marginalized mothers face every day.

Alexis will read selections from the anthology and lead us in a community discussion about mothering, parenting, and the revolutionary movements we are all a part of. 7:30 – 9

p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com The Pretty Girl Hideout Thursdays is tonight, hosted by Mook Dahost, Soul Bar at Pal’s Lounge, 254 Auburn Ave., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.traxxgirls.com

FRIDAY, MARCH 11 – 13

Shake the rust off your racquets, come out of hibernation, and kick off the 2016 tennis season in style. Come join ATTA (Atlanta Team Tennis Association) for the 2016 Hooch Doubles Classic. This tournament serves as the organization’s club championships. Sharon Lester Tennis Center, 400 Park Dr. NE, Atlanta, Georgia 30309

FRIDAY, MARCH 11

Hillary Clinton is one of the most divisive political figures in recent American memory.

The arguments over whether she is a feminist and if so, what kind of feminist she is are legion. As we move further into the 2016 electoral process, join Charis in welcoming a few of the contributors and the editor of the new book “Love Her, Love Her Not: The Hillary Paradox.” Editor Joanne Bamberger and contributors Jennifer Hall Lee, and Lezlie Bishop will read selections from their essays and answer questions. 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

CONTINUES ON PAGE 24

EVENT SPOTLIGHT THURSDAY, MARCH 10

Aurora Theatre opens Stephen Sondheim’s “Into the Woods,” with a performance tonight at 8 p.m., running through April 17, www.auroratheatre. com (Publicity photo)

March 4, 2016 Best Bets 23

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 23 Now in its sixth year, pb&j Gallery hosts “Body and Soul,” which celebrates the male nude form. Artists involved include videographer Drew Davis, presenting an erotic video short, and award-winning photographers Bob Burkhardt and Trevor Green. The show will be on display through March 18. www.pbj-gallery.com DJ Tron spins at Bulldogs, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA, 30308

EVENT SPOTLIGHT SATURDAY, MARCH 12

Pull out those flannels, union suits, skull caps, squeeze into your signature tight jeans and expect a hot log jam full of furry chests and faces, hot daddies, bears and their cubs at Manshaft, with DJ Neon the Glowgobear spinning at 9 p.m. and then DJ Diablo Rojo taking over, Heretic, www.hereticatlanta.com (Publicity photo/Li Su Photography)

The dancing boys of BJ’s come out at 9 p.m., BJ Roosters, 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324

SATURDAY, MARCH 12

The Southern Bears monthly meeting and bar night is tonight, 10 p.m. – 2 a.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaeagle.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 13

Wake up and make joyful noise with the Sisters of Sequin – Bubba D. Licious and Justice Counce – at Gospel Brunch, Lips Atlanta, www.atldragshow.com The Armorettes light up The Hideaway tonight, beginning at 8:30 p.m., www.atlantahideaway.com

MONDAY, MARCH 14

14 respondents. Henry’s Midtown, www.henrysatl.com

The long-running Stars of the Century drag show is tonight at Jungle, with doors opening at 10:30 p.m., www.jungleatl.com

Charis and Cliterati pair up to present an inviting and fierce open mic & reading series on the third Thursday of every month.

March’s feature is Tawny Powell. This is a Charis Circle From Margin to Center Literary Event. The suggested donation is $5. 7:30 – 9 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

TUESDAY, MARCH 15

Join host Ken for Let’s Make a Deal from 6 – 10 p.m. at Friends on Ponce, www.friendsonponce-atl.com Art It Out Therapy Center is now offering an Expressive Art Therapy Group for LGBTQ Teens on Tuesdays.

Through art, the group will explore self-identity, coping with stress, intimate and parental relationships, and coming out. 7 p.m., 255 Village Parkway (in Paper Mill Village), Suite 580, Marietta, GA 30067

My Sister’s Room hosts a Game Night/Beer Pong every Thursday night, www.mysistersroom.com

SOLUTION TO PUZZLE ON PAGE 27

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16

Get your best Tina Turner impression on at the Humpday Karaoke competition, hosted

by Angelica and Malibu, 10:30 p.m., Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

THURSDAY, MARCH 17

The Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce’s Business Builder Luncheon is hosted by Chip Ivie and Chris Torrens on the third Thursday of each month at 11:45 a.m. The event is limited to

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A MODICUM OF DECORUM

By SHANNON HAMES

Conflict can build trust I was talking to my friend, Missy, a few weeks ago. We were discussing conflict in relationships and I said that I was hoping one day to find a partner that would use conflict in our relationship to build trust with me as opposed to someone who would use it as an excuse to vent their anger and resentment and erode our love.

A few days later, we were talking again and she said, “When you told me that thing about using conflict to build trust, it blew my mind.

But I keep thinking about it and I think you’re on to something! Nobody does that!”

Nobody does that because I am a weirdo, apparently.

One of my (few) loveable charms is my weird Briggs-Meyers personality type. I am an INTJ. Don’t worry about what it means – all you need to know about it are these two things: 1. Less than 1 percent of the world’s female population is my type.

2. We are fantastic at anything we set our minds to. Except relationships.

The problem with my way of thinking and how I relate to women (and why I fail at relationships) is this: I am logical. I have feelings, but I’m not ruled by them.

In my perfect world, when conflict in a relationship arises, I like to take a moment to calmly discuss the problem with another calm and rational adult. I like to speak and be heard and I like to compassionately listen to my partner and try to step into her shoes and imagine what she’s feeling so I can come from a place of empathy. I also like for my partner to do the same.

Women have this hormonal thing. It basically starts at birth and ends at death. You never know when it will strike but make no mistake, when it does, you will wonder what the hell just happened.

A few years back, I was living with my first partner and she knew I had a mad crush on Robin Meade (HLN’s “Morning Express”). One morning, she called out from another room, “Shannon, you have GOT to www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Dorrance Dance “An odd, seemingly impossible marriage of tap and modern dance that came off edgy, seductive –Chicago Tribune and smart.”

MAR

“The problem with my way of thinking and how I relate to women (and why I fail at relationships) is this: I am logical. I have feelings, but I’m not ruled by them.” come look at Robin Meade. She’s your shy librarian fantasy today. Her hair is up, she has nerdy glasses, a short skirt – come in here and look at her. She looks amazing!”

I went in and we exchanged lusty comments about how fine Robin looked that day. I congratulated myself on having such a cool girlfriend.

The very next morning, we were getting ready to leave and I walked into the living room. I looked at Robin and said, “Oh, wow! She’s wearing those sexy thigh-high boots today. Damn!”

Without any warning, she stood up and said, “Well why don’t you just go MARRY Robin Meade if she’s so perfect!” She stormed out and would not discuss it – she was enraged.

I could not figure out this inconsistent pattern in her behavior. Then, it dawned on me.

“Baby, are you having your period right now?”

She looked down and began to cry, “Yes.” I went over to hold her as she sobbed in my arms while I congratulated myself on figuring out the anomaly. It wasn’t the trust-building exercise that I had planned, but I found out another way to build trust with her by showing compassion and understanding. I also got the hot, problem-solving, celebratory sex.

The theatrically witty company pushes tap forward: rhythmically, aesthetically, and conceptually.

Street, club, and experimental THUR dance forms all awaken to the sound of furious rhythms, and 7:30 find their boundaries missing.

The work of Dorrance Dance has garnered critical acclaim, including winning a Bessie Award for “blasting open our notions of tap.”

MAR

9 10

WED 7:30

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo “This is the funniest night you’ll ever have at the ballet.” –The Guardian

APR

APR

Celebrating 40 years as an international dance sensation, this all-male troupe blends humor with athletic artistry to SUN SAT create performances filled with 2:00 PM 8:00 PM parody and virtuosic technique.

With their clever choreography and admirable technique, this troupe takes their dancing seriously and delivers a performance that everyone can enjoy.

9 10

Call now for tickets!

404-894-9600

details and more events at

arts.gatech.edu

Shannon Hames is a mom, writer, realtor, volunteer, rocker chick, world traveler, and ’80s hair band aficionado. She loves babies, observing people, reading great books and taking hot baths. She has been writing for Georgia Voice since 2010.

March 4, 2016 Columnists 25

SOMETIMES ‘Y’

By RYAN LEE

A Friday night lesson in humility

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I am typing this column on my cell phone, which is a first for me and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I appreciate the technological advances that allow me to do so, but pecking out a lengthy essay on a handheld device feels like another falling rock in what thus far has been a crumbling 2016.

A few weeks ago my laptop stopped taking a charge, so I bought a new power cord, then a new battery, and learned that the problem is beyond either of those components. Until I get that issue fixed, I’ve been using my outdated desktop computer, whose hardware is too old to handle the hidef. porn that I watch, and the machine has started overheating and shutting down after about 15 minutes.

My technological woes arose while I was in the middle of a health crisis that had me prone on my sofa for the better part of a month. “Crisis” may be a dramatic word for the minor, outpatient surgery I had; but the procedure itself was sandwiched by major pain and discomfort, and the news I watched from my couch – a parade of celebrity deaths, the Georgia legislature’s orgy of anti-LGBT proposals and the growing possibility of a fascist reaching the White House – added to my misery during the first two months of the year.

“Crisis” is a mild description for my most recent challenge of 2016, which culminated this past Friday night with one of the most intensely humbling episodes of my life. I found myself overconfident and underprepared in a chaotic scene that played out over two hours in the streets of Midtown, with appearances by Atlanta police and mental health workers from Grady Hospital.

Regular readers might recall one of my nephews and his girlfriend moving in with me this past fall, and getting their own apartment at the start of February. I was opposed to their plan to bring my oldest nephew, his girlfriend and their infant daughter to live with them in their new apartment, and I nearly cried when, on the day of the latter’s arrival in town, I learned that my 15-year-

“Within 10 seconds of stepping into my apartment, my nephew proved me wrong.

My serene approach was instantly overpowered by a transcendental temper tantrum from a 15-year-old whose only currency is rage…” old nephew had also made the trip from Chicago to Atlanta.

Less than two weeks into their experiment, my older nephew discovered how ill-prepared they were to serve as guardian for the 15-yearold, and so I recommended to my family that he come stay with me instead of returning to “Chi-Raq.” I understood my young nephew had an angry temper and emotional outbursts, but I thought my Zen nature and way with words could guide him to a new understanding of himself and his potential.

Within 10 seconds of stepping into my apartment, my nephew proved me wrong.

My serene approach was instantly overpowered by a transcendental temper tantrum from a 15-year-old whose only currency is rage, and a few hours later my youngest nephew was on an airplane to Chicago.

It was a stinging repudiation of my sense of gay-savior-uncle, and an important reminder that someone without children (such as myself) has little ground to stand on when critiquing and second-guessing the parenting of those who do (such as my sister). As disappointing as the unsuccessful intervention was, there was also liberation in being reminded that I don’t have the world figured out.

There is value in being wrong – whether about family, relationships or politics – and sifting through the crumblings to search for lessons and humility.

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

26 Columnists March 4, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

LAST WORD QPuzzle MAJOT TOM

ACROSS 1 Historic Stonewall event 5 Reformer Anthony 10 Top 14 Word used in dating 15 In flames 16 Lake traveled by Ohio ferries 17 Romeo or Juliet 18 Puccini opera 19 Neighbor of Mass.

20 Androgynous alter ego of David Bowie 23 Egypt and Syr., once 24 Ford flub 25 Puts in a position?

28 “Diamonds ___ a Girl’s Best Friend” 29 Airport fleet 33 Childcare writer LeShan 34 Tiny balls 35 Stritch of Broadway 36 David Bowie song with the lyric “Look up here, I’m in heaven” 39 David Bowie hit of 1972 40 Use them to play Johnny Mathis records 41 Cocks and bulls 42 Chicago trains 43 A bit, informally 44 Half of a Greta Garbo monogram 45 What gay partners can walk in every state

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

47 49

50

55 56 57 59 60 61 62 63 64

List-maker Schindler Curry of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” David Bowie role in “The Last Temptation of Christ” Cry of Dorothy Neighbor of Sudan (var.)

Marilyn Monroe’s sexy pair Hold, as an opinion “If ___ Walls Could Talk” Salt’s saint Doesn’t rent Toys that do tricks Hayes of _Will & Grace_

DOWN 1 Sarah Schulman novel “ ___ Bohemia” 2 Don Juan’s mom 3 R.E.M.’s “The ___ Love” 4 Source of oral pleasure 5 Lusty deity of antiquity 6 Sky sightings 7 Women who don’t have sex with men 8 Where a pinball wizard might lurk 9 Moves toward 10 Queer 11 Love of Lesbos 12 “It ___ Necessarily So” 13 Doll that “came out” in 1993 21 “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” to Mick Jagger

22 25 26 27 28 30

31 32 34 35 37 38 39 41 44 45 46 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 58

Actress Reese Aids “My Own Private ___ ” Stropped item Muscle Mary’s pride They don’t use their mouths for talking ___ fours (doggy-style) Gaydar, e.g.

Mass transit vehicle Saucer pilots Straight and gay Friar’s affair Get a load of Town for fudge packers?

Evita’s cowboy Be confined to the bed, perhaps They may be spitting Litter critter Streisand’s “Prince of ___ ” “That was close!”

Serious sign Part of UTEP Maupin story Thompson of “Angels in America” Rene Auberjonois role Chaz to Cher

Answers on page 24

March 4, 2016 Last Word 27

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