The Georgia Voice - 4/11/14 Vol. 5, Issue 3

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04.11.14

IN THIS ISSUE OF GA VOICE

WEDDING ISSUE 5 Will you marry me?

Proposals and wedding stories 11 Ga. lesbians take ‘I Do Marathon’ on the road through the U.S. 12 Why no marriage lawsuit in Georgia?

VOICES 13 Mike Ritter’s legacy lives on in his craft

IN MEMORIAM 18 Well played, Mr. Ritter

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT 21 FOOD: LGBTs welcome at these bakeries 24 THEATER: Topher Payne makes strides for ATL stages

5 | WILL YOU MARRY ME? LGBT MARRIAGE PROPOSALS

18 | IN MEMORIAM: MIKE RITTER

COLUMNISTS Photo via Facebook

OUTSPOKEN FRIENDS & FOES IN THEIR OWN WORDS

Official photo

30 THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: Melissa Carter cheers on our differences

Official portrait

—— Hilary Shelton, the NAACP’s senior vice president for advocacy and policy (Washington Post, April 6)

— Troy Price, Iowa Democratic Party executive director. (USA Today, April 5)

25 OUTSIDE THE BOX: Bill Kaelin dishes haircuts and sweet rides

31 SOMETIMES ‘Y’: Ryan Lee says anti-gays reaping what they sowed

“The way the NAACP is looking at issues like this, it’s not that we’re necessarily promoting interracial marriage or gay marriage. We’re promoting equal opportunity and equal protection under the law, saying that people of the same gender should be able to enter into that same set of contracts as people of two different genders. So it really is a civil rights issue.”

“We’re quickly coming to a point where any candidate, whether Democrat or Republican, will have no choice but to be pro-marriage equality if they want to be successful.”

26 CALENDAR

“The bullies who now cotntrol the gay marriage movement have claimed another scalp in their never-ending quest to silence people of faith and others who continue to support the belief that marriage is the union of one man and one woman.”

— Brian Brown, president of the National Organization for Marriage, in an April 4 email to supporters on the “forced” resignation of Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich after news broke he contributed $1,000 to support Proposition 8.

“While many governments and well-meaning individuals have redefined marriage, the Lord has not. He designated the purpose of marriage to go far beyond the personal satisfaction and fulfillment of adults, to more importantly, advancing the ideal setting for children to be born, reared and nurtured.”

— Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve at the Mormon’s biannual general conference in Salt Lake City.

(ABC News, April 5)

www.theGAVoice.com

WEDDING ISSUE

Will you marry me?

04.11.14

Although marriage equality hasn’t come to Georgia yet, that hasn’t kept thousands of same-sex couples from walking down the aisle, or the beach, or making plans to spend their lives together.

Here are a few of those stories.

Juan & Gee:

“But that’s forever!”

Juan and Gee Session-Smalls are founders of the Gentlemen’s Ball and also run a blog, LoveWorks, to share with others how they make their marriage work. But how did their success together begin? From Gee: We are not traditional guys, so it makes sense that nothing about our nuptials was traditional either. No one actually proposed to the other, there wasn’t a huge wedding ceremony, no requisite trip down the aisle, nor was there a gigantic reception with an open bar and long-lost cousin’s line dancing into the wee hours of the night. One day we just kind of, well, decided to tie the knot.

It was nearing the end of summer 2009. We’d been together a little over a year, had been living together for about six months, and were blissfully enjoying life. One morning, having just stepped out of the shower, a dripping wet Juan said to me, “We should get matching ring tattoos.”

“But that’s forever!” I responded.

“Exactly!” he said.

That was that. We eloped to Darien, Conn., two months later.

On Oct. 23, 2009, our love was validated—at

Juan and Gee Session-Smalls married in 2009. (Courtesy photo)

least in the eyes of the then nine states where gay marriage was recognized—in a magical beachside ceremony. We found a sweet, kind, grandmotherly Justice of the Peace over the internet that set everything up for us. We flew to New York City on a Thursday, took a train to Connecticut at noon that Friday, she picked us

up from the station, took us to the courthouse to complete the paperwork, drove us to the beach for the ceremony and before we could say “I do” we were back on the train headed to NYC for the honeymoon!

Read more about Juan and Gee SessionSmalls at www.juanandgee.com.

Kiki & Ria: Pardon her French The late chef Ria Pell was traveling in Europe for several months and Kiki Carr went to visit her. Romance was in the air with a stop in Paris. Kiki shares this story: When Ria booked our tickets for Paris in April (in 2005) I loved the campiness of the idea but had an inkling she might be going to propose, so I somewhat jokingly said, “OK, just don’t propose to me at the top of the Eiffel Tower!” —which seemed like just a hair past camp, into cheesiness zone.

Months later, we were in Paris—I was as sick as a dog, but powering through with cold medicine. One chilly Friday night, she seemed quite anxious that we should leave the small sixth floor apartment we’d rented. I felt awful but knew it was important to her.

We took a cab to the Eiffel Tower and the elevator to the top. It was just as gorgeous as

you can imagine—Paris laid out before us in the night, a brocade cityscape studded with twinkling diamonds of light. There were several visiting classes of middle-school students from Spain and Italy, milling about, so we took our time enjoying the scenery.

Finally all the students had cleared out, and we were among the few left. Ria looked pale and nervous, and reached into her pocket to pull out a small box. She held my hand, looked in my eyes, and asked me to marry her!

I hadn’t forgotten my warning, and so in that moment it seemed that she must be joking! Making fun of my warning so many months ago! I started laughing at her!

It quickly became clear to me that she wasn’t joking at all, and I recovered, overwhelmed with emotion and love, and said, “Of course, yes, I will marry you!” But the spell of the mo-

The late Ria Pell proposed to Kiki Carr from one of the most romantic spots on earth—the top of the Eiffel Tower.

ment was broken for a few crucial seconds.

She put the ring on my finger, and we hugged and kissed and cried.

However she was truly upset that I’d laughed at her proposal, and would never let me forget it!

CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

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04.11.14

WEDDING ISSUE

www.theGAVoice.com

They say ‘I do’ over and over for equality Ga. lesbian couple on ‘I Do Marathon’ to legally marry in every state possible

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com

STATE BY STATE Already legally married in New York, Connecticut, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Maryland and Washington, D.C., Kacey and Chwanda begin the second leg of their I Do Marathon this month: • April 21 in Trenton, New Jersey • April 21 in Providence, Rhode Island • April 22 in Dover, Delaware • April 23, in Niagara Falls, Toronto, Ontario • April 24 in Harmony, Minnesota • April 25 in Dubuque, Iowa • Also on April 25 at the Funny Bone in West Des Moines, Iowa, with Academy Award-winning actress and comedian Mo’Nique presiding • April 26 in Northbrook, Illinois

“I made a rainbow! I made a rainbow!” one of Kacey Frierson and Chwanda Nixon’s seven children exclaims after hosing off the family car one recent Saturday. Two of her sisters are across the street playing with a neighbor’s dog in this quiet cul-de-sac in Jonesboro, while the four boys are off doing their own thing. A step inside the house reveals a living room wall filled with framed documents. A closer look and it becomes clear what they are—marriage licenses.

Kacey and Chwanda have made their relationship official in seven states plus the District of Columbia, and later this month they bring all seven kids along again to make it official in seven more, hoping to spread a message of love across the country that will hopefully resonate back home in Georgia where they have no such rights.

It all started after Kacey and Chwanda had a civil union in their native Illinois in April 2012. The following April, they wanted to legally marry to mark the anniversary. They picked New York as the state, and if they stopped right there, the story would be like so many others of same-sex Georgia couples marrying in other states. But then other states near New York started legalizing gay marriage, and Frierson had an idea.

“I was saying, ‘Well New York is right there and then if we drive up, Maine is here, and it’s legal in D.C., too, so we can stop there and loop around and hit all these places,’” she says.

Nixon was on board with the idea, telling GA Voice, “Of course I was game with it—I love her.

I could marry her 2,000 times.”

And with that, the I Do Maratho” was born, and last April, the family of nine piled into their Chevrolet Uplander van and set off on a journey to get hitched seven times over and show people what true love can accomplish.

WEDDING ISSUE

www.theGAVoice.com

Kacey (right, in red pants) and Chwanda (in red shirt and black pants) Frierson-Nixon and their daughters pose in front of the van along with their four sons they took with up and down the East Coast on the first leg of the I Do Marathon. (Photos by Patrick Saunders)

IGNITING THE SPARKS

Kacey, 38, and Chwanda, 40, met a couple of years back in Illinois when Chwanda was hosting a spoken word poetry open mic night at a local comedy club. That brief introduction didn’t produce any sparks, but they became Facebook friends and shortly thereafter, saw each other again at an event at a mutual friend’s house, where a bit of drama ensued.

“Chwanda thought my best friend was my girlfriend. And I find out later that Chwanda was talking mess about her the whole night,” Kacey says, laughing.

After that misunderstanding was cleared up, the spark was officially ignited, and the two haven’t look back since.

‘THEY WANT MOMS TO BE HAPPY’

So how do you pack seven teenagers into a van for a week-long road trip and live to tell about it? Having open-minded kids with positive attitudes who are down for the adventure is a great start.

“I was so proud of them. They could have complained and whined. They were great about it. I tell them that all the time,” Kacey says.

“They are our best supporters,” Chwanda says. “They want moms to be happy and they love it. What kid wouldn’t want to be one of those kids who can say they’ve been almost everywhere in the world?”

They plastered their van with the I Do Marathon web address and hearts drawn all over, and the whole group even color-coordinated their clothing—a different color of the rainbow for each service.

But a question mark going into the trip was what the reactions would be from strangers coming upon this modern family. This was, after all, a pair of African-American lesbians proclaiming their love for each other in a very public way in a number of different places.

But the couple says that the reactions were all positive, and if anyone had anything negative to say, they kept it to themselves. Having such

a happy, supportive group of kids along with them seemed to bring out the best in others.

“By making it this great journey and bringing the kids along, it turns into so much more,” Kacey says. “It gets more people talking about it and it gets them into it. You tell your story and you drag one more person onto your support team. They’re generally really positive and curious when they find out.”

Even though they were covering seven states plus the District of Columbia in a five-day span, things didn’t seem rushed and they got to stop and enjoy each place along the way.

“Each city we went to, I made sure we would take a little time to enjoy the state we were in because who knows when we will be back?”

Kacey says. “Each step of the way I wanted to make sure we did something memorable other than just get married. I’m all about making memories, because I’m not going to be here forever and if they [the children] have this small thing to hold onto, hey, it’s worth it to me.”

And despite doing service after service, the couple says that it doesn’t get old.

“The special part is us being a family together doing it each time,” Chwanda says.

TWEETING WITH THE STARS

In the months following their return from the 2013 leg of the I Do Marathon, a major portion of the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down, and more and more states legalized gay marriage. And the Frierson-Nixon family knew instantly what they wanted to do this April— hit a new batch of states (and another country) on the 2014 leg of the I Do Marathon.

So on April 21, they’ll hit the road again, aimed for New Jersey, Rhode Island and Delaware, followed by a day trip up to Toronto then back down to Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois. They’ll be doing the rainbow colors again and, other than hoping to procure a bigger van this time around for their constantly growing children, not much else will change about this year’s trip.

Well, except for an Academy Award-win-

ning actress officiating one of their weddings.

Last month, the couple was watching an interview with comedian and actress Mo’Nique and she mentioned how she was ordained to officiate weddings all over the country. So Frierson tweeted her asking if she would officiate one of their weddings. Mo’Nique didn’t hesitate to accept, they traded info and come April 25 the couple will stroll onstage during one of the comedian’s sets at the Funny Bone in West Des Moines, Iowa, and check state number 14 off the list in style.

THE FINAL FRAME

The journey, the wedding services, the family time—the Nixon-Frierson clan will soak every second of it in, knowing a hard truth awaits their arrival back home.

“Even after we’ll have a total of 17 marriages, once we cross the Georgia border, me and Chwanda are legal strangers,” Kacey says. “We want to bring awareness that even after we do all this, it means nothing when we get home.”

Chwanda echoes her wife’s sentiments, saying, “The greatest thing that can become of this is Georgia getting it together so we can have the same marriage and love as everyone else. We’re doing this for everyone that wants marriage equality.”

“If our story gets out there and reaches one person, and it makes them feel that this family deserves this, that’s my goal,” Kacey says.

They’re already talking about the 2015 leg of the I Do Marathon, with a West Coast swing in the early planning stages. That means a lot more frames to buy.

But one frame that remains empty is the most important one of all, and might sadly be one of the last to be filled. But Kacey, Chwanda and their kids will be ready for that day.

“I can’t wait, I cannot wait,” Kacey says.

“That’s going to be the party of all parties.”

“Oh yes,” Chwanda agrees. “We’re gonna throw it big in Georgia.”

04.11.14

GA VOICE

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Oscar-winner Mo’Nique talks ‘I Do Marathon,’ changing hearts and minds Mo’Nique is a mega multi-hyphenate. Oscar-winning actress—globetrotting comedian—bestselling author. Now she can add one more role: ordained minister.

Well, kind of. We’ll let her explain as she talks to GA Voice about hitting the gay clubs as a kid, why she enjoys officiating gay weddings, and Kacey and Chwanda’s “constant honeymoon.”

What first drove you to stand up for LGBT equality?

You grew up with gay family members, right?

Yeah I grew up with gay family members and also I was introduced to the community going to the clubs when I was like 16 years old. That community really embraced me.

Honey, if you didn’t go to The Garage in New York, you didn’t even understand! Then Tiffany’s for breakfast when it was done. That’s far how back I go [laughs].

What happened behind the decision to get ordained?

I got ordained one night last year when I was onstage in the comedy clubs. There was a conversation between myself and the universe. I saw people who were in love and wanted to be together, so I asked everyone if I had the power to marry these beautiful people in front of me, and they said yes. Now, that only works in the clubs [laughs]. When they leave out of here, it might not get respected. But in the club it’s respected.

What do you enjoy about officiating gay weddings?

It’s a freedom. I enjoy watching people be free.

And I enjoy watching people appreciate each other because the crowds are very diverse in race, religion and age. When you see these people up on stage and they truly love each other, it makes you think, “What is it about these people that they don’t deserve love like everybody else?” And you see people change their hearts right in front of you.

You didn’t hesitate to accept Kacey and Chwanda’s Twitter request to officiate their wedding in Iowa.

What do you think about the I Do Marathon?

I think it is amazing. How beautiful is that? They’re on a constant honeymoon!

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Once-Daily

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PREZISTA® does not cure HIV infection or AIDS and you may continue to experience illnesses associated with HIV-1 infection, including opportunistic infections. You should remain under the care of a doctor when using PREZISTA.® Please read Important Safety Information below, and talk to your healthcare professional to learn if PREZISTA® is right for you.

Important safety InformatIon What is the most important information I should know about PREZISTA®?

• PREZISTA® can interact with other medicines and cause serious side effects. See “Who should not take PREZISTA®?”

• PREZISTA® may cause liver problems.

Some people taking PREZISTA,® together with Norvir ® (ritonavir), have developed liver problems which may be life-threatening. Your healthcare professional should do blood tests before and during your combination treatment with PREZISTA.® If you have chronic hepatitis B or C infection,

your healthcare professional should check your blood tests more often because you have an increased chance of developing liver problems • Tell your healthcare professional if you have any of these signs and symptoms of liver problems: dark (tea-colored) urine, yellowing of your skin or whites of your eyes, pale-colored stools (bowel movements), nausea, vomiting, pain or tenderness on your right side below your ribs, or loss of appetite • PREZISTA® may cause a severe or life-threatening skin reaction or rash. Sometimes these skin reactions and skin rashes can become severe and require treatment in a hospital. You should call your healthcare professional immediately if you develop a rash. However, stop taking PREZISTA® and ritonavir combination treatment and call your healthcare professional immediately if you develop any skin changes with these symptoms: fever, tiredness, muscle or joint pain, blisters or skin lesions, mouth sores or ulcers, red or inflamed eyes, like “pink eye.”

Rash occurred more often in patients taking PREZISTA® and raltegravir together than with either drug separately, but was generally mild Who should not take PREZISTA®?

• Do not take PREZISTA® if you are taking the following medicines: alfuzosin (Uroxatral®), dihydroergotamine (D.H.E.45,® Embolex,® Migranal®), ergonovine, ergotamine (Cafergot,® Ergomar ®), methylergonovine, cisapride (Propulsid®), pimozide (Orap®), oral midazolam, triazolam (Halcion®), the herbal supplement St. John’s wort (Hypericum perforatum), lovastatin (Mevacor,® Altoprev,® Advicor ®), simvastatin (Zocor,® Simcor,® Vytorin®), rifampin (Rifadin,® Rifater,® Rifamate,® Rimactane®), sildenafil (Revatio®) when used to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension, indinavir (Crixivan®), lopinavir/ritonavir (Kaletra®), saquinavir (Invirase®), boceprevir (Victrelis™), or telaprevir (Incivek™)

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PREZISTA® (darunavir) is a prescription medicine. It is one treatment option in the class of HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) medicines known as protease inhibitors. PREZISTA® is always taken with and at the same time as ritonavir (Norvir ®), in combination with other HIV medicines for the treatment of HIV infection in adults. PREZISTA® should also be taken with food.

• The use of other medicines active against HIV in combination with PREZISTA®/ritonavir (Norvir ®) may increase your ability to fight HIV. Your healthcare professional will work with you to find the right combination of HIV medicines • It is important that you remain under the care of your healthcare professional during treatment with PREZISTA®

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Once-Daily PREZISTA® taken with ritonavir and in combination with other HIV medications can help lower your viral load and keep your HIV under control.

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Important safety InformatIon contInued

What should I tell my doctor before I take PREZISTA®?

• Before taking PREZISTA,® tell your healthcare professional if you have any medical conditions, including liver problems (including hepatitis B or C), allergy to sulfa medicines, diabetes, or hemophilia • Tell your healthcare professional if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding — The effects of PREZISTA® on pregnant women or their unborn babies are not known. You and your healthcare professional will need to decide if taking PREZISTA® is right for you — Do not breastfeed. It is not known if PREZISTA® can be passed to your baby in your breast milk and whether it could harm your baby.

Also, mothers with HIV should not breastfeed because HIV can be passed to your baby in the breast milk What are the possible side effects of PREZISTA®?

• High blood sugar, diabetes or worsening of diabetes, and increased bleeding in people with hemophilia have been reported in patients taking

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please refer to the ritonavir (Norvir ®) Product Information (PI and PPI) for additional information on precautionary measures.

Please read accompanying Patient Information for PREZISTA® and discuss any questions you have with your doctor.

Janssen Therapeutics, Division of Janssen Products, LP © Janssen Therapeutics, Division of Janssen Products, LP 2014 02/14 009283-140128

28PRZDTC0288R8

This is not a complete list of medicines. Be sure to tell your healthcare professional about all the medicines you are taking or plan to take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

protease inhibitor medicines, including PREZISTA® • Changes in body fat have been seen in some patients taking HIV medicines, including PREZISTA.® The cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known at this time • Changes in your immune system can happen when you start taking HIV medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden • The most common side effects related to taking PREZISTA® include diarrhea, nausea, rash, headache, stomach pain, and vomiting. This is not a complete list of all possible side effects. If you experience these or other side effects, talk to your healthcare professional. Do not stop taking PREZISTA® or any other medicines without first talking to your healthcare professional

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• Before taking PREZISTA,® tell your healthcare professional if you are taking sildenafil (Viagra,® Revatio®), vardenafil (Levitra,® Staxyn®), tadalafil (Cialis,® Adcirca®), atorvastatin (Lipitor ®), rosuvastatin (Crestor ®), pravastatin (Pravachol®), or colchicine (Colcrys,® Col-Probenecid®).

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IMPORTANT PATIENT INFORMATION PREZISTA (pre-ZIS-ta) (darunavir) Oral Suspension PREZISTA (pre-ZIS-ta) (darunavir) Tablets Read this Patient Information before you start taking PREZISTA and each time you get a refill. There may be new information. This information does not take the place of talking to your healthcare provider about your medical condition or your treatment.

Also read the Patient Information leaflet for NORVIR® (ritonavir).

What is the most important information I should know about PREZISTA? • PREZISTA can interact with other medicines and cause serious side effects. It is important to know the medicines that should not be taken with PREZISTA. See the section “Who should not take PREZISTA?” • PREZISTA may cause liver problems. Some people taking PREZISTA in combination with NORVIR® (ritonavir) have developed liver problems which may be life-threatening.

Your healthcare provider should do blood tests before and during your combination treatment with PREZISTA. If you have chronic hepatitis B or C infection, your healthcare provider should check your blood tests more often because you have an increased chance of developing liver problems.

• Tell your healthcare provider if you have any of the below signs and symptoms of liver problems.

• Dark (tea colored) urine • yellowing of your skin or whites of your eyes • pale colored stools (bowel movements) • nausea • vomiting • pain or tenderness on your right side below your ribs • loss of appetite PREZISTA may cause severe or life-threatening skin reactions or rash. Sometimes these skin reactions and skin rashes can become severe and require treatment in a hospital. You should call your healthcare provider immediately if you develop a rash.

However, stop taking PREZISTA and ritonavir combination treatment and call your healthcare provider immediately if you develop any skin changes with symptoms below: • fever • tiredness • muscle or joint pain • blisters or skin lesions • mouth sores or ulcers • red or inflamed eyes, like “pink eye” (conjunctivitis) Rash occurred more often in people taking PREZISTA and raltegravir together than with either drug separately, but was generally mild.

See “What are the possible side effects of PREZISTA?” for more information about side effects.

What is PREZISTA? PREZISTA is a prescription anti-HIV medicine used with ritonavir and other anti-HIV medicines to treat adults with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV-1) infection.

PREZISTA is a type of anti-HIV medicine called a protease inhibitor. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

When used with other HIV medicines, PREZISTA may help to reduce the amount of HIV in your blood (called “viral load”). PREZISTA may also help to increase the number of white blood cells called CD4 (T) cell which help fight off other infections. Reducing the amount of HIV and increasing the CD4 (T) cell count may improve your immune system.

This may reduce your risk of death or infections that can happen when your immune system is weak (opportunistic infections).

PREZISTA does not cure HIV infection or AIDS and you may continue to experience illnesses associated with HIV-1 infection, including opportunistic infections. You should remain under the care of a doctor when using PREZISTA. Avoid doing things that can spread HIV-1 infection.

• Do not share needles or other injection equipment.

• Do not share personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them, like toothbrushes and razor blades.

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Ask your healthcare provider if you have any questions on how to prevent passing HIV to other people.

Who should not take PREZISTA? Do not take PREZISTA with any of the following medicines: • alfuzosin (Uroxatral®) • dihydroergotamine (D.H.E. 45®, Embolex®, Migranal®), ergonovine, ergotamine (Cafergot®, Ergomar®) methylergonovine • cisapride • pimozide (Orap®) • oral midazolam, triazolam (Halcion®) • the herbal supplement St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) • the cholesterol lowering medicines lovastatin (Mevacor®, Altoprev®, Advicor®) or simvastatin (Zocor®, Simcor®, Vytorin®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifater®, Rifamate®, Rimactane®) • sildenafil (Revatio®) only when used for the treatment of pulmonary arterial hypertension.

Serious problems can happen if you take any of these medicines with PREZISTA. What should I tell my doctor before I take PREZISTA? PREZISTA may not be right for you. Before taking PREZISTA, tell your healthcare provider if you: • have liver problems, including hepatitis B or hepatitis C • are allergic to sulfa medicines • have high blood sugar (diabetes) • have hemophilia • are pregnant or planning to become pregnant. It is not known if PREZISTA will harm your unborn baby.

Pregnancy Registry: You and your healthcare provider will need to decide if taking PREZISTA is right for you. If you take PREZISTA while you are pregnant, talk to your healthcare provider about how you can be included in the Antiretroviral Pregnancy Registry. The purpose of the registry is follow the health of you and your baby.

• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. We do not know if PREZISTA can be passed to your baby in your breast milk and whether it could harm your baby. Also, mothers with HIV-1 should not breastfeed because HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in the breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Using PREZISTA and certain other medicines may affect each other causing serious side effects. PREZISTA may affect the way other medicines work and other medicines may affect how PREZISTA works.

Especially tell your healthcare provider if you take: • other medicine to treat HIV • estrogen-based contraceptives (birth control). PREZISTA might reduce the effectiveness of estrogen-based contraceptives. You must take additional precautions for birth control such as a condom.

• medicine for your heart such as bepridil, lidocaine (Xylocaine Viscous®), quinidine (Nuedexta®), amiodarone (Pacerone®, Cardarone®), digoxin (Lanoxin®), flecainide (Tambocor®), propafenone (Rythmol®) • warfarin (Coumadin®, Jantoven®) • medicine for seizures such as carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Epitol®), phenobarbital, phenytoin (Dilantin®, Phenytek®) • medicine for depression such as trazadone and desipramine (Norpramin®) • clarithromycin (Prevpac®, Biaxin®) • medicine for fungal infections such as ketoconazole (Nizoral®), itraconazole (Sporanox®, Onmel®), voriconazole (VFend®) • colchicine (Colcrys®, Col-Probenecid®) • rifabutin (Mycobutin®) • medicine used to treat blood pressure, a heart attack, heart failure, or to lower pressure in the eye such as metoprolol (Lopressor®, Toprol-XL®), timolol (Cosopt®, Betimol®, Timoptic®, Isatolol®, Combigan®) • midazolam administered by injection • medicine for heart disease such as felodipine (Plendil®), nifedipine (Procardia®, Adalat CC®, Afeditab CR®), nicardipine (Cardene®) • steroids such as dexamethasone, fluticasone (Advair Diskus®, Veramyst®, Flovent®, Flonase®) • bosentan (Tracleer®) • medicine to treat chronic hepatitis C such as boceprevir (VictrelisTM), telaprevir (IncivekTM) • medicine for cholesterol such as pravastatin (Pravachol®), atorvastatin (Lipitor®), rosuvastatin (Crestor®) • medicine to prevent organ transplant failure such as cyclosporine (Gengraf®, Sandimmune®, Neoral®), tacrolimus (Prograf®), sirolimus (Rapamune®)

IMPORTANT PATIENT INFORMATION • salmeterol (Advair , Serevent ) • medicine for narcotic withdrawal such as methadone (Methadose®, Dolophine Hydrochloride), buprenorphine (Butrans®, Buprenex®, Subutex®), buprenorphine/ naloxone (Suboxone®) • medicine to treat schizophrenia such as risperidone (Risperdal®), thioridazine • medicine to treat erectile dysfunction or pulmonary hypertension such as sildenafil (Viagra®, Revatio®), vardenafil (Levitra®, Staxyn®), tadalafil (Cialis®, Adcirca®) • medicine to treat anxiety, depression or panic disorder such as sertraline (Zoloft®), paroxetine (Paxil®, Pexeva®) • medicine to treat malaria such as artemether/lumefantrine (Coartem®) This is not a complete list of medicines that you should tell your healthcare provider that you are taking. Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist if you are not sure if your medicine is one that is listed above. Know the medicines you take. Keep a list of them to show your doctor or pharmacist when you get a new medicine. Do not start any new medicines while you are taking PREZISTA without first talking with your healthcare provider.

How should I take PREZISTA? • Take PREZISTA every day exactly as prescribed by your healthcare provider.

• You must take ritonavir (NORVIR®) at the same time as PREZISTA. • Do not change your dose of PREZISTA or stop treatment without talking to your healthcare provider first.

• Take PREZISTA and ritonavir (NORVIR®) with food.

• Swallow PREZISTA tablets whole with a drink. If you have difficulty swallowing PREZISTA tablets, PREZISTA oral suspension is also available. Your health care provider will help decide whether PREZISTA tablets or oral suspension is right for you.

• PREZISTA oral suspension should be given with the supplied oral dosing syringe.

Shake the suspension well before each use. See the Instructions for Use that come with PREZISTA oral suspension for information about the right way to prepare and take a dose.

• If your prescribed dose of PREZISTA oral suspension is more than 6 mL, you will need to divide the dose. Follow the instructions given to you by your healthcare provider or pharmacist about how to divide the dose. Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist if you are not sure.

• If you take too much PREZISTA, call your healthcare provider or go to the nearest hospital emergency room right away.

What should I do if I miss a dose?

People who take PREZISTA one time a day: • If you miss a dose of PREZISTA by less than 12 hours, take your missed dose of PREZISTA right away. Then take your next dose of PREZISTA at your regularly scheduled time.

• If you miss a dose of PREZISTA by more than 12 hours, wait and then take the next dose of PREZISTA at your regularly scheduled time.

People who take PREZISTA two times a day • If you miss a dose of PREZISTA by less than 6 hours, take your missed dose of PREZISTA right away. Then take your next dose of PREZISTA at your regularly scheduled time.

• If you miss a dose of PREZISTA by more than 6 hours, wait and then take the next dose of PREZISTA at your regularly scheduled time.

If a dose of PREZISTA is skipped, do not double the next dose. Do not take more or less than your prescribed dose of PREZISTA at any one time.

What are the possible side effects of PREZISTA? PREZISTA can cause side effects including: • See “What is the most important information I should know about PREZISTA?” • Diabetes and high blood sugar (hyperglycemia). Some people who take protease inhibitors including PREZISTA can get high blood sugar, develop diabetes, or your diabetes can get worse. Tell your healthcare provider if you notice an increase in thirst or urinate often while taking PREZISTA. • Changes in body fat. These changes can happen in people who take antiretroviral therapy. The changes may include an increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the back, chest, and stomach area. Loss of fat from the legs, arms, and face may also happen. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Call your healthcare provider right away if you start having new symptoms after starting your HIV medicine.

• Increased bleeding for hemophiliacs. Some people with hemophilia have increased bleeding with protease inhibitors including PREZISTA. ®

®

The most common side effects of PREZISTA include: • diarrhea • headache • nausea • abdominal pain • rash • vomiting Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

These are not all of the possible side effects of PREZISTA. For more information, ask your health care provider.

Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to the FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

How should I store PREZISTA? • Store PREZISTA oral suspension and tablets at room temperature [77°F (25°C)].

• Do not refrigerate or freeze PREZISTA oral suspension.

• Keep PREZISTA away from high heat.

• PREZISTA oral suspension should be stored in the original container.

Keep PREZISTA and all medicines out of the reach of children.

General information about PREZISTA Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Patient Information leaflet. Do not use PREZISTA for a condition for which it was not prescribed.

Do not give PREZISTA to other people even if they have the same condition you have. It may harm them.

This leaflet summarizes the most important information about PREZISTA. If you would like more information, talk to your healthcare provider. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about PREZISTA that is written for health professionals.

For more information, call 1-800-526-7736.

What are the ingredients in PREZISTA? Active ingredient: darunavir Inactive ingredients: PREZISTA Oral Suspension: hydroxypropyl cellulose, microcrystalline cellulose, sodium carboxymethylcellulose, methylparaben sodium, citric acid monohydrate, sucralose, masking flavor, strawberry cream flavor, hydrochloric acid (for pH adjustment), purified water.

PREZISTA 75 mg and 150 mg Tablets: colloidal silicon dioxide, crospovidone, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose. The film coating contains: OPADRY® White (polyethylene glycol 3350, polyvinyl alcohol-partially hydrolyzed, talc, titanium dioxide).

PREZISTA 400 mg and 600 mg Tablets: colloidal silicon dioxide, crospovidone, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose. The film coating contains: OPADRY® Orange (FD&C Yellow No. 6, polyethylene glycol 3350, polyvinyl alcohol-partially hydrolyzed, talc, titanium dioxide).

PREZISTA 800 mg Tablets: colloidal silicon dioxide, crospovidone, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, hypromellose. The film coating contains: OPADRY® Dark Red (iron oxide red, polyethylene glycol 3350, polyvinyl alcohol-partially hydrolyzed, talc, titanium dioxide).

This Patient Information has been approved by the U.S Food and Drug Administration.

Product of Ireland Manufactured by: PREZISTA Oral Suspension Janssen Pharmaceutica, N.V. Beerse, Belgium PREZISTA Tablets Janssen Ortho LLC, Gurabo, PR 00778 Manufactured for: Janssen Therapeutics, Division of Janssen Products, LP, Titusville NJ 08560 Revised: December 2013 NORVIR® is a registered trademark of its respective owner.

PREZISTA® is a registered trademark of Janssen Pharmaceuticals © Janssen Pharmaceuticals, Inc. 2006 007653-131217

GA VOICE

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NEWS

04.11.14

www.theGAVoice.com

Georgia only state in south that has not filed marriage equality lawsuit Lambda Legal promises announcement about local same-sex marriage case ‘very soon’

STATES WITH CASES IN FEDERAL COURTS Kentucky, Michigan, Nevada, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia

By PATRICK SAUNDER psaunders@thegavoice.com Almost every week, a new one appears.

At first it made sense. Colorado. Oregon.

Wisconsin. But then, wait—Mississippi? Florida? Alabama? Marriage equality lawsuits have been filed now in all but five states in the nation—the final five that remain out of the game are North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Alaska and, yes, Georgia.

In 2004, Georgia voters approved a constitutional amendment defining marriage as only between a man and woman. But since that time a sea-change has taken place in the nation with polls showing more than 50 percent of the country supporting same-sex marriage.

So the dockets are full with same-sex marriage suits almost everywhere else in the country, and everywhere else in the south, but here—this despite wins in every federal court case since the United States v. Windsor decision last June when a major portion of the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down.

“I’m just as befuddled as everyone else,” says constitutional scholar Anthony Kreis.

“I don’t think there’s any strong reason why Georgia shouldn’t have a challenge to the marriage amendment.”

Nashville attorney Abby Rubenfeld knows about the challenges of fighting a same-sex marriage suit in the south, but that didn’t stop her from filing. She is the lead attorney on Tanco v. Haslam, the district court case in Tennessee that led the judge to rule last month that three gay couples’ marriages performed out of state are legal. The case is currently under appeal.

“I did not wait for anyone to tell me what they thought about the Sixth Circuit or Tennessee or anything else,” Rubenfeld tells GA Voice. “I thought that the Windsor ruling means all such discriminatory laws and constitutional amendments are unconstitutional, and why should the south be any different?”

“I think that change will come here when we all push it, so I push it in Tennessee,” she continues. “I think our movement is going to win these cases wherever we bring them and the time is now.”

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an enor-

STATES WITH CASES IN LOWER COURTS

Beth Littrell, senior attorney in the Southern Regional Office of Lambda Legal, says to expect an announcement ‘very soon’ about a marriage equality lawsuit in Georgia.

(Photo via Lambda Legal)

mous amount of movement happening behind the scenes by people and organizations across the country to find a judicial solution to make same-sex marriage a reality in Georgia. And one national organization is closer to filing than you think.

‘GEORGIA WON’T BE LEFT BEHIND’

When filing a same-sex marriage lawsuit, it’s possible to do so with a private attorney, but typically the suit is arranged or at least backed up by a major national organization like Lambda Legal, the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center or Freedom To Marry. All four and more have been at work identifying the right situation in which to file in Georgia, but one of them hints about how close they are to filing.

“We have been working to identify the best course of action to bring marriage equality to Georgia,” Lambda Legal Senior Attorney Beth Littrell tells GA Voice. “We will be announcing the result of that work very soon. I can assure you Georgia won’t be left behind when it comes to marriage equality.”

The primary challenge most often cited

by Lambda Legal and others who are looking to file suit is a 2004 decision in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit based in Atlanta that banned gay adoption in Florida. That ruling was based on now widely discredited evidence that straight couples make better parents than gay ones.

The Eleventh Circuit includes Georgia, Flor-

Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming SOURCE: FREEDOM TO MARRY

ida and Alabama. A Florida district court of appeals later overturned the adoption ban, but the Lofton case and all testimony and findings regarding how fit gay people are to be parents remains on the books in the higher court.

However, doubts remain about the danger posed by the Lofton case.

“I think it’s highly implausible that the circuit court will give that 2004 decision a lot of weight,” Kreis says. “The legal landscape has dramatically shifted in favor of same-sex couples’ rights.”

Kreis points out that the Lofton decision came just six months after Lawrence v. Texas, which made same-sex sexual activity legal across the country, and just a few months before Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriage.

“I think [Lofton] was made at a time when the court may not have understood where the trajectory of the law was going. That’s further factored by the Windsor decision last June,” Kreis says. “I understand the caution that some folks have because the Eleventh Circuit is very conservative, but that hasn’t stopped other people from filing suit.”

ACLU of Georgia Executive Director Debbie Seagraves says, “There is no denying that the situation that folks are in right now is unjust.

Unfortunately, the law and justice are not always the same thing. What we want to do is get justice through the courts, but we have to do it right.”

ISSUE MORE COMPLEX THAN FINDING SOMEONE WILLING TO SUE

Lambda Legal says they are hearing from gay couples throughout Georgia willing to file suit, but that it’s not that simple.

“Having outraged couples willing to be plaintiffs has never been the problem,” Littrell says.

“There are lots of folks willing to put themselves out there to help move the ball along and win marriage equality in all states. But the calculus is just a little more complex than, ‘Can you find someone that’s willing to sue?’”

While mostly it’s the merits of the case and past case law that factor into whether to file or not, the experts say there are many other factors at play.

“Certainly compelling narratives are helpful in convincing a court. Longevity in terms of relationship and commitment are helpful.

Edie Windsor’s story reflects that,” Littrell says. “But at the same time she had a very identifiable harm which allowed her to sue.

You need an identifiable harm and a state official who is causing that harm.”

Technically, anyone could walk into district court right now with their lawyer and file a same-sex marriage lawsuit. But it’s not recommended. The amount of time, money and resources needed to undertake a successful case are large enough, but there’s also an enormous loss of privacy.

“That’s the difficult thing about constitutional litigation is folks just want to live their lives and be left alone,” says Kreis. “But in order to conserve those rights, you have to give up that privacy.”

“Some couples think they want to be the plaintiffs in a federal lawsuit and have second thoughts,” Lambda Legal’s Littrell says.

The ACLU of Georgia’s Seagraves points out that in addition to those factors, you have to look at the wording and the scope of the particular marriage ban in place in each particular state.

“If you don’t do that, you run a danger of making bad law and making the next case that someone else brings harder,” Seagraves tells GA Voice.

Lambda Legal’s Littrell concurs, saying, “It could stop the momentum, and we want to keep building on that. That’s a fear—a case brought haphazardly or just based on principle and not thought through.”

That kind of case, by all accounts, could set the fight back by years.

But while many disagree on the timing of such a lawsuit, everyone agrees on one thing.

“There will be people that challenge the Georgia law,” Kreis says. “I think that, especially in the legal and academic community, a clear understanding of the Windsor decision is that all these state marriage bans have to fall. It’s just a matter of time.”

Fin

EDITORIAL

www.theGAVoice.com

THE GEORGIA VOICE

PO Box 77401 | Atlanta, GA 30357 404-815-6941 | www.thegavoice.com

EDITORIAL

Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

Deputy Editor: Patrick Saunders psaunders@thegavoice.com Art Director: Mike Ritter mritter@thegavoice.com Special Thanks: Bo Shell Marketing Director Common Ground Real Estate

CONTRIBUTORS

Adam Carpenter, Melissa Carter Jim Farmer, Vandy Beth Glenn, Shannon Hames, Ryan Lee, Tina Tian, Steve Warren

BUSINESS

Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com Managing Partner: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com

Sales Manager: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com Sales Executive: Anne Clarke aclarke@thegavoice.com Business Advisor: Lynn Pasqualetti Financial Firm of Record: HLM Financial Group National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

FINE PRINT

All material in the Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by the Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request.

A single copy of the Georgia Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from the Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year. Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to the Georgia Voice, PO Box 77401, Atlanta, GA 30357. The Georgia Voice is published every other Friday by The Georgia Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices.

The editorial positions of the Georgia Voice are expressed in editorials and in editor’s notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Georgia Voice and its staff.

To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Email submissions to editor@thegavoice.com or mail to the address above.

Join us online: facebook.com/thegavoice twitter.com/thegavoice

04.11.14

GA VOICE

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13

GA VOICES OUR OPINION EDITORIAL

Oh, Mike. Your heart was too big for this world Mike Ritter changed our lives forever and his legacy lives on in our hearts and his craft

By DYANA BAGBY dbagby@thegavoice.com Mike Ritter did not like needles.

Normally, this is something I would not know. We worked together. Sometimes we socialized together, but mostly our relationship was a beautiful, loving, sometimes frustrating, but always collaborative effort to get the GA Voice out every two weeks.

When we were in the ER and the doctors and nurses were trying to figure out what was causing his pain, they gave him a morphine drip and IV and took blood. He asked me to hold his hand and look into his eyes every time his arm was poked. He told me his father, a doctor, would line up him, his brother and five sisters every year and give them their flu shots. “I hated it,” he said.

My heart ached for him.

Late in the night, when he was finally in a room in the ER, a specialist came in to ask him some questions. I was standing at the end of the bed when the doctor asked him who I was.

Mike said, “My boss.” I answered, “His friend.”

I never saw myself as Mike’s boss. He was the art director. I was the editor. He excelled at his craft and I would often ask for input on what I should do as part of mine. And he was always honest and encouraging. We, along with Patrick Saunders, our deputy editor, truly made a great team.

It takes a special temperament to be an art director. Anyone in this position is the last one to see the copy and then are tasked with immediately laying it out and making it all fit into the allotted space including selecting nice fonts and ways to make the photos fit for something that is pleasing to the eye.

Mike relished doing this work. He would take great pains to make a layout for a cover story in particular look dazzling, while also making sure it helped to tell the story included in the words.

He particularly loved the chance to design artistic covers.

For our spring preview issue, his last cover, he used a photo of a blooming tree that he photographed near his apartment. He loved spring in Atlanta, he noted in his last Facebook post.

Steve Benson, Arizona Republic

That tree is also the cover photo for his Facebook page, now filled with accolades from hundreds of friends including a tribute from Pulitzer-prize winning cartoonist Steve Benson. He depicts Mike at a drawing board with perhaps his most famous cartoon drawn after Sept. 11.

When he saw our spring issue at our last staff meeting together—Chris Cash, Tim Boyd and Patrick—he absolutely glowed. The colors in all the images had turned out perfectly, he said. He noted he spent extra time ensuring the colors would transfer correctly. This was three days before he died.

This week’s issue is our wedding issue.

Mike was passionate about the fight for marriage equality and, as an academic and activist, he read every single word of the Windsor decision and read every detailed opinion that came out after by judges who continue to rule in favor of our right to marry the person we love. Patrick and I would of course be happy we scored another victory in the courts, but Mike’s eyes lit up when he described the language used in the opinions, often emailing or reciting to us specific passages. Every opinion and ruling that comes out now in our favor won’t be the same without him.

Mike loved working at the GA Voice. I think all of us, past and present staff and those of us who also knew him from the old Southern Voice days where we also saw his expertise with cartoons and illustrations, can take peace in knowing this. He was doing work he

loved with people who he loved and loved him.

And he was doing it for a newspaper with a mission he believed in.

Mike was a true newspaper man. The outpouring of emotion that came when people learned he died was immediate and overwhelming. We knew Mike was a very talented cartoonist. It was tradition to gather around the desk of Bo Shell, our former art director, whenever Mike emailed the GA Voice his new cartoon back in the days when he was still drawing and we howl together at whomever was unfortunate to make it into his sights that week. And we were always blown away by his genius, technique, skill. All of it.

While Mike touched so many lives and gained the respect of so many newspaper people here in Georgia, it came as a wonderful surprise to see how many more he touched across the country. Mike never boasted about his numerous accomplishments as a nationally syndicated cartoonist when he lived in Arizona. He was humble and perhaps humbled, focused on doing his best in Georgia.

Oh, Mike. I’m glad you considered me your boss, but more importantly, I was your friend.

Mike’s family asks donations be made to The John Ritter Foundation for Aortic Health/ John Ritter Research Program in Aortic and Vascular Diseases (www.johnritterfoundation.org) or Freedom to Marry (www.freedomtomarry. org), the campaign to win marriage equality nationwide.

GA VOICE

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14

WEDDING ISSUE

04.11.14

www.theGAVoice.com

‘Did you both wear white?’

Af Golde Durin favor they ried. picke still a “T ‘Will you marry me?’ continued from page 5 [at th anoth photo togra it an found move laugh Lizzy proposed Taylor on Nov. 27, 2011. Both Dr are students at Georgia State University and tem s both are originally from Cumming, Ga. Watts ried. says they are getting married June 12, 2015. drenc “We’ve waited so long because we wanted to “I make sure we could get at least some legal recognition. Our wedding [will be] Young Harding ris, Ga., in the mountains.” the c This is how Watts proposed: I’m a amateur and videographer, video editor and a huge sci-fi Lucki fan. When I proposed to my fiance, I told her park we were going to be watching “Star Trek V” Th for our anniversary. She faked a smile (she gettin hates Star Trek) and we sat down to watch the ter. D movie. After the beginning intro, the screen Lizzy Watts and Taylor Pierce plan to marry next year. ing t cut out, and a voice said, “We interrupt to give (Courtesy photo) their out an important message.” My girlfriend sort “ of looked at me, but I acted normal. Then the a little bit to process what was going on be-troub screen cut to a slideshow of us, and at the end fore she smiled brightly and said, “Yes.” To thisning, it read “Will you marry me?” I pulled out the day, she gives me a questioning glance when-thing ring in that moment, and it took my girlfriend ever I ask her to watch Star Trek with me.

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The most unromantic proposal ever?

On Thursday, June 12, 2003, Joan T. Sherwood <joantsherwood@xoxoxoxo.com> wrote: Would you like to go to Toronto for our vacation? We could get married. http://www.city.toronto.on.ca/depts/legserv_marriage.htm There are no citizenship requirements. And I hear Toronto is a wonderful place to visit. And they’re probably desperate for tourists now. And I love you with all my heart. :) Joan Debbie Fraker <debfraker@xoxoxoxo.com> wrote: yes Joan T. Sherwood <joantsherwood@xoxoxoxo.com> wrote: WOO HOOOOO! Joan (all smiley)

Ko licly, an In daug ly fou and o entin Ko resta dial R posal “I want Joan Sherwood and Deb Fraker got married in Canada cause more than 10 years ago. The proposal is forever saved via knew email. (Courtesy photo) to pu mast “In Feeling inspired by these sweet happ proposals? Meet more LGBT coualrea says. ples who’ve shared their stories: David www.atlantagayweddings.com.

W ta, Ka table

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ar.

www.theGAVoice.com

WEDDING ISSUE

04.11.14

Drew & Bob: Not-so-perfect perfection After 12 years together, Drew Plant and Bob Golden decided it was time to make it official.

During an already planned trip to one of their favorite places on earth, Palm Springs, Calif., they decided it was time to get legally married. They hired the perfect photographer, picked out the perfect spot. But there were still a few hiccups.

“The day of the ceremony we showed up [at the place selected for photos]...only to find another gay couple in exactly ‘our spot.’ Our photographer, whose claim to fame is photographing soap stars, was having none of it and offered to ask them to move, but we found a terrific alternative spot, so maybe the move was serendipitous. It provided a good laugh,” Drew says.

Drew also said he noted the irrigation system surrounding where they were to be married. He wondered aloud if they might get drenched during the simple ceremony.

“I was poo-pooed by the rest of the wedding party. Of course, during the middle of the ceremony a distinctive hiss was heard... and the irrigation system indeed came on.

Luckily, it was in an adjacent section of the park and not in our immediate area,” he says.

The couple didn’t tell anyone they were getting married but called all their friends after. Drew joked there was no problem reaching their friends on a Friday night. Reaching their elderly mothers was another issue.

“We had a good laugh that we had no trouble reaching our friends on a Friday evening, but neither of us could get our 70-something and 80-something mothers on the

Photo location theft and sprinklers aside, Bob Golden and Drew Plant cherish their Palm Springs, Calif. ceremony.

phone until the next day.

When we did reach my husband’s mother her first question was, “Did you both wear white?” Since we’re, um, middle-aged, we thought her joke was pretty good.

READ READMORE: MORE:

Meet Meetthe theGa. Ga.lesbians lesbians traveling across to traveling acrossthe theUSA countie the knot in every try to tie the knot in every marriage marriageequality equalitystate. state.

Page Page66

Kordale & Kaleb: He put a ring on it Kordale and Kaleb achieved global fame in January after an Instagram photo of them combing their daughters’ hair went viral. Together for nearly four years and raising their two daughters and one son, the couple got engaged on Valentine’s Day and plan to marry in June.

Kordale says Kaleb took him to dinner at a restaurant he’d never been to before, the Sundial Restaurant, and he had an inkling a proposal was in the works.

“I kind of knew it was coming, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up,” he says. Also, because Kordale handles their finances he knew Kaleb wasn’t stashing away money to purchase a ring. But Kaleb proved to be a master at surprise.

“In the end, I didn’t know it was going to happen. He had been saving money and he already had the ring. I started crying,” he says. (The ring is a 2.42 carat black diamond David Yurman, for those who are wondering.)

With a romantic view overlooking Atlanta, Kaleb got down on his knee at the dinner table and asked Kordale to marry him, say-

Kordale and Kaleb got engaged at the Sundial during a romantic dinner overlooking Atlanta. (Photos via Instagram, Facebook)

ing he had never met a man that made him so happy.

“I was happy but so shocked. I’m not one to display affection in public. Kaleb is the one who likes to be affectionate,” Kordale says.

Stunned but thrilled, Kordale said yes.

“He had the managers in on it. They came over and congratulated us. Then everyone in the restaurant stood up and started clapping,” he says.

Kordale and Kaleb continue to post photos of themselves and their family on Instagram and Kordale will have a memoir called “Picture Perfect” coming out in the near future.

GA VOICE

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15

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He told us he loved us all the time, and I never once doubted it.

As they were taking him back to the operating room, we held hands and I told him I loved him. He said it back. Then he said, “Timmy!” and reached out for my boyfriend, Tim, who was hanging back. Tim stepped up to Mike’s bedside, and they held hands.

Then Mike said in the sing-song way he always did, “Aw, I love you guys.”

If we’d known this was it, what would we have said or done differently?

Years of lazy weekends, witty banter, arguing about things beyond our control and daydreaming about the future—and then someone pressed the fastforward button and the film strip suddenly ran out.

PHOTO BY BO SHELL

Mike Ritter was like a character out of Central Casting: wise-cracking boy-man savant with a heart of gold.

Partners Tim Messier and Will Alford (at left) with Mike Ritter.

(Photo by Dean Shiver)

He loved old movies and had an encyclopedic knowledge of early- and mid-20th century Hollywood.

He could recite dialogue from hundreds of movies on command. And there’s no one who ever lived who knew more about Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour and their films, particularly the “Road” pictures.

When we arrived in the ER and were being updated on Mike’s condition, he excitedly interjected, “aortic dissection, it’s what Bing died of!” I thought, well isn’t that perfect. Now he’ll have another story to tell.

Mike was a storyteller. Over the years, I must’ve heard all his stories several times. He’d refine the delivery, add in a beat before the punchline, throw in a reworked turn of phrase. He’d look over for my approval, and I’d roll my eyes. But the narrative arc was always the same. Mike cast himself as the lovable loser. At just the moment he might finally get what he wanted—and you’re with him, you’re rooting for him—fate intervenes to knock him down a peg or two. We’d die laughing at his expense. And he’d bask in that moment.

He had a natural ability to connect with people.

Whatever your passion, he knew enough to engage you on that topic. Whatever your talent, he’d say you were brilliant and mean it. Everyone he befriended was rooting for him. We wanted him to make it, to finally find success—that boyfriend, that puppy, that fixer-upper with an original ceramic tile bath, that platform from which to influence or entertain.

When I first met Mike at the Tribune in Arizona, he was a Republican and held many of the views common to Republicans then and now. Gay issues weren’t as front-and-center, but he’d done his share of anti-gay cartoons. I sat at a desk just outside his

office, and we’d debate politics both in the newsroom and at bars after work. One night, he sat down beside me with a beer, looked me over and asked, “Have you ever heard of the Kinsey Scale?” I wasn’t the first guy he’d tried that line on, I later found out.

I already had a secret boyfriend of my own at that point. But from that night, our friendship grew. And together, all three of us began emerging from a life of fear and duplicity. Mike would describe those early years out of the closet in the sunlight as the happiest of his life.

His characters were expressive, his cross-hatching technique laboriously old-school and amazing.

After I moved to Atlanta, we collaborated on dozens of illustrations for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, where he later worked as a page designer. He visited us often, and launched a comic strip—Midtown Tales, about a gaggle of Atlanta gays—that ran in a Phoenix magazine. One character in the strip, the lovable loser, looked suspiciously like Mike.

At the height of the recession and with his most marketable skills attached to a dying industry, he struggled. He went from being a nationally syndicated editorial cartoonist and TV pundit in Phoenix to working three part-time jobs to make a living in Atlanta. He sometimes forgot who he was and what he was capable of. But I loved having him in Atlanta with us, and he continued to make friends wherever he went.

In the last year, he seemed to find the peace and professional fulfillment that had eluded him for so long. As art director for GA Voice, he finally began to feel successful again. He loved the work and believed he was doing something important for the gay community. Last December, he reunited with his best friends from Arizona State and spent the holidays with my family in Florida.

PHOTO BY BO SHELL

Editorial cartoons were the perfect medium for Mike.

In one frame, he combined his gifts for humor, sanctimony, poignancy and exquisite artistry.

In the end, it’s hard not to think Mike Ritter gave the world a lot more than he ever got in return.

None of us could match his wit, his talent and his willingness to put himself out there. Certainly not me. He was one of a kind. He was my best friend, and I’m so fortunate for the years we had together.

That night in the ER as I was texting my mom and talking to the nurse, Mike’s trying to get my attention and says, in slurred speech, “Will, Will...

Do you know what Bing’s last words were before he died?” No, Mike, I don’t. “Bing was golfing with his buddies and had just finished the 18th hole … and he said, ‘That was a great game of golf, fellas!’” Great game indeed.

FOR A RETROSPECTIVE OF MIKE RITTER’S WORK, VISIT THEGAVOICE.COM

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Eating my words BY CLIFF BOSTOCK

Making sweet, sweet love Gay chefs and bakeries happy to serve your wedding Ah, weddings. What could be sweeter? But before we get to the cakes and pastries, allow me a digression.

I confess that for years I did not understand why marriage rose to the top of the gay community’s priorities. I had been there and done that when I was 20. I married a woman I loved and we divorced five years later. I never wanted to be married again, regardless of gender, and encouraged everyone I knew to avoid subjugating their love to state regulation. I still feel that married people should receive absolutely no benefits not accorded single people.

In 2004, something caught me off guard.

That year, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome ordered the city clerk to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. About 4,000 were handed out (and then revoked a month later).

What stunned me was the look on these people’s faces—the intensity of their loving gaze at one another, free from the furtiveness imposed by centuries of oppression. Philosophy and psychology have long been obsessed with the way our understanding of self is fashioned by seeing and being seen by other beings. I realized that most Americans, seeing this flowering of love, saw both us and themselves differently. They got that our long struggle has been about love, not just sex.

Well, the far-right Christians didn’t get it.

They turned gay wedding cakes into tokens of sin earlier this year. Bless their black, haloed hearts.

Honestly, what follows is just an excuse to tell you about some great bakeries. And remember, anyway, that you don’t have to have a cake at your wedding. Pigging out on pastries to kickstart marriage’s inevitable weight gain is totally acceptable.

RATIO BAKERY. Chris Flores has become everyone’s favorite gay pastry chef in the last year. He’ll be opening a walk-in store in Decatur next month. For the present, you can order his pastries off his website, by phone, or by scheduling an appointment. He artfully combines classic, nostalgic flavors—intense chocolate and peanut butter, butter pecan and cinnamon, apples and caramel, coconut and lime. But he also goes for honey and goat cheese, carrots and cardamom. His associate, Lori Clowers Horne, is in charge of wedding cakes. I can’t vouch for them, but if you’re in doubt, you should simply stack a bunch of fistsized brownies and crispy shortbread cookies atop one of Flores’ splendid usual cakes, anyway. (404-295-6517, www.ratiobakeshop.com.)

HIGHLAND BAKERY. Probably the most notable cake maker in our city is Karen Portaleo.

She’s been featured numerous times on the

Chris Flores, owner of Ratio Bakery, is one of Atlanta’s favorite gay pastry chefs. (Photo by Nan McCulloch)

Food Network and is teaching all over the world.

But the good news is that you can still order her cakes through Highland Bakery. Portaleo’s background is in clay sculpture and her cakes are brilliantly detailed, sometimes surreal, sometimes hilarious. Wouldn’t you love to serve a cake wrapped in the tentacles of a cartoony octopus? See her website or Highland Bakery’s to get the full picture. Owner Stacey Eames has opened several locations, but the original location on North Highland remains a very popular brunch spot as well as bakery. (655 Highland Ave., 404-586-0772, www.highlandbakery.com; also: www.karenportaleo.com.)

PIE SHOP. I’ve actually never been a big fan of cake. Wedding cakes in particular are infamous for their blandness. I like pie—fruity or creamy, flaky-crusted—a zillion times better (as do a lot of Southerners, I think). Mims Bledsoe returns pie to its rightful status. The changing, seasonal menu is online. I recommend any pie made with rhubarb, tangy and a bit bitter—perfect for envious, unmarried wedding guests. (3210 Roswell Road, 404-8414512, www.the-pie-shop.com.)

SUBLIME DONUTS. After your wedding, you’ll be losing your virginity at last, right?

Make it sweeter. Order a bunch of the nationally acclaimed donuts from here to squish on the body of your new spouse. Once you try these, you’ll never return to Krispy Kreme, not even after you crawl out of the Eagle at 2 a.m. the day after your divorce. (535 10th St., 404897-1801, www.sublimedoughnuts.com) THE LITTLE TART BAKESHOP. What to eat the morning after the wedding? Plan ahead and order a couple dozen of the city’s seriously best croissants at this bakery inside Octane Coffee in Grant Park. If you want to keep it lighter and sweeter, get a bunch of the tennisball-sized meringues. (437 Memorial Drive, 404-348-4797, www.littletartatl.com).

Cliff Bostock holds a PhD in depth psychology, conducts workshops, and offers life coaching to individuals. www.CliffBostock.com.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

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THEATER BY JIM FARMER

Topher Payne breaking barriers for Atlanta theater ‘Designing Women’ wraps eighth run this weekend Topher Payne sleeps. Or at least he says he does. Judging from the work he’s done over the last few years, it’s a wonder he has time for shuteye. The gay playwright has become one of the city’s busiest and most produced playwrights.

Last month it was announced Payne won the American Theatre Critics Association’s 2014 M. Elizabeth Osborn New Play Award for his comedy “Perfect Arrangement.”

This award is given each year to an emerging playwright who has not yet received national exposure. It’s a huge honor, and he hopes it creates some awareness of playwrights not living in traditional areas such as New York.

“It’s wonderful and quite surreal,” he says. He learned of the honor a few weeks before he was able to say anything. “I was not allowed to breathe a word to anyone except my husband,” he says. “And I have a big mouth.”

He accepted the award April 5 at the Humana Festival in Lousiville, Ky., and spent the days before looking for an appropriate outfit. “I feel like I should represent the South properly,” he laughs. At press time he was gravitating towards a gingham/Seersucker ensemble.

Two shows at OnStage Atlanta—one current, one upcoming—involve him. “Designing Women Live” is now in its eighth season, with Payne and frequent collaborator DeWayne Morgan, artistic director of The Process Theatre, in heels as members of the Sugarbaker clan.

The newest installment features two episodes: “This is Art?,” in which someone tries to buy Julia’s handbag during a gallery opening; and “The Mistress,” in which the ladies are hired to decorate a client’s house, in addition to a condo for the client’s mistress. Payne never envisioned “Designing Women” would take on the cult status it has. “It’s great to have a fundraiser that fits your audience so well,” he says. The money raised helps keep both Onstage Atlanta and The Process Theatre sustainable throughout the year.

Opening in a few weeks is “Lakebottom Prime,” a companion piece to Payne’s earlier “Lakebottom Proper.” It’s a farcical piece about a wedding marred by an evil mother of the bride, sick bridesmaids and a secret at the bottom of a lake. “Prime” has an LGBT angle, which Payne calls his way of tackling the issue of marriage equality.

Earlier this year he opened his comedy “The Only Light in Reno” at Georgia Ensemble Theatre, and last season his “Angry Fags,” presented at 7 Stages, was a big success, winning Payne a local Gene-Gabriel Moore Playwriting Award at the 2013 Suzi Bass Awards.

Payne is happy living and working in the Atlanta area and he wants to show that it can be done. His plays have been produced in New York, Washington, D.C. (where “Perfect Arrangement” premiered), Florida and in Missis-

sippi. He hopes that winning the award will bode well for other markets.

His ultimate goal would be to make a living as a playwright. That will require him to get published, however, and to get representation.

He’d also like his work to get produced at more local theaters.

In other words, he’s not going anywhere.

“I am absolutely rooted here,” he says. “While there may be additional opportunities in other cities, I have no inclination to leave. I know I

DETAILS “Designing Women Live 8” Through April 13 “Lakebottom Prime” April 25–May 17 at Onstage Atlanta 2969 East Ponce De Leon Avenue, Decatur, GA 30030 www.onstageatlanta.com

am needed here. I know I am part of a really exciting, growing literary community.”

The ‘Designing Women’ cast, from left to right, Johnny Drago as Mary Jo, DeWayne Morgan as Suzanne, Stuart Scheluse as Charlene, Spencer Stephens as Anthony and Topher Payne as Julia. (Courtesy photo)

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

OUTSIDE THE BOX Seeking alternative to typical gay scene Haircuts, moonshine and sweet rides My name is Bill Kaelin and I am an anti-conformist. I march to the beat of my own drum, I take pride in not following the masses and tend to go in the opposite direction of the status quo.

I suppose this was partially ingrained in my head as a child when I would beg my parents to do something that all my friends were doing and their reply would simply be, “If your friends jumped off the bridge would you?”

It used to infuriate me when I had to listen to their constant pushes for me to be a “leader,” “don’t be a follower,” and hearing them tell me, “You don’t have to be like everyone else.” Without them realizing it and much to their dismay they were only getting me prepared for my ultimate leap into unconventionality when I finally became the exception to my parents’ rule and came out a proud gay man.

The gay world has a a great deal to offer to those who are different but I still seek to break outside the “gay box.”

Don’t get me wrong. I love my community. I have lived in the heart of Midtown for more than 18 years and have even owned and operated some of Atlanta’s most iconic gay-friendly lounges and nightclubs. But my goal even with those establishments was to provide an alternative to the typical gay scene so my friends and I didn’t get trapped doing the same gay things, at the same gay places, with the same gay people, week after week after week.

I am not a bear. I am not a circuit queen.

I am not a jock. I am not a twink. I am not a radical faeire and God knows I am not a Daddy...or at least not yet. That said, I do relate to all these subcultures in our community.

To be honest with you at times I can still feel like that adolescent boy who doesn’t really fit in anywhere. I still constantly search for that new, interesting thing to do, the next hot band that sounds like nothing we have heard before, that cutting edge event in a crazy new space or a brand-new hot spot that caters to all of us iconoclasts dying for something different.

As much as I like to “keep things fresh” even I joined the big gay bearded brigade but one thing I can constantly change is

Bill Kaelin is the owner of Bill Kaelin Marketing Events and Consulting Agency in Atlanta, Ga. www.BillKaelin.com

my haircut. I recently stumbled upon a hidden barber shop gem in Cabbagetown called “Mary Todd Hairdressing Company” that will certainly make lovers of beards, tattooed men, and of tattooed women gasp with delight. Get ready to be pampered by hot guys and gals using house-made beard and hair dressings in an atmosphere that feels like you stepped into the coolest vintage flea market ever.

I got pampered at this barber shop speakeasy before attending a launch party at the Masquerade for a brand new spirit called American Born Moonshine. Talk about a drink made for rebels by rebels. Mix some of this handcrafted Nashville, Tenn., whiskey with some lemonade this summer and you will be fanning the flames of independence all over our gay city.

I got a pretty good buzz from my new haircut and from drinking my fair share of American Born Moonshine, so I pulled out my iPhone to contact my latest obsession— Uber X—for my ride home. Most of you have probably tried or heard of Uber. For shorter distances Uber X is the most entertaining and affordable alternative to your typical over-priced taxicab. You never know what kind of driver you’re going to get so when my car arrived in front of the Masquerade with my driver sporting a huge pompadour I knew I was in for a treat.

I hopped in the back seat feeling like I had stepped onto a movie set when the driver asked me, “Do you have a problem with Frank Sinatra?” I honestly replied with a simple, “No! I love Frank!” Without miss­ing a beat my Elvis-inspired driver pressed play on his car stereo, blasting “That’s Life” out of the speakers. We proceeded to sing along with the windows down, gazing out into the city I love to ex­plore, and I thought to myself, “Why yes it is, why yes it is.”

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Event spotlight

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bout Tell us aBT event your LGays to submit your

ow There are tw inclusion in our online r fo t n event ve e T LGB ubmit your S . rs a d n le ail and print ca eGAVoice.com or e-m h .t w . w info to w AVoice.com ditor@theG details to e

FRIDAY – SUNDAY, APRIL 11 – 13

Photo by Gabriella Nissen

GA VOICE

The 78th Annual Atlanta Dogwood Festival brings out thousands of participants this weekend at Piedmont Park, www.dogwood.org

FRIDAY, APRIL 11

Fourth Tuesday hosts a Dogwood Festival picnic from noon to 6 p.m. Gather near the flagpole on the hill at the west side of the meadow. www.facebook. com/FourthTuesdayAtlanta

SATURDAY, APRIL 12

Photo via Facebook

Mr. and Ms. Atlanta Eagle 2014 Contest takes place at 8 p.m. followed by the Atlanta Leather Pride SWEAT Victory Dance, www.atlantaleatherpride.com

Kai Lin Art presents Returning Home featuring artists Sam Parker, Larry Jens Anderson and Peter Ferrari. 7 p.m., www.kailinart.com Topher Payne, DeWayne Morgan and Johnny Drago continue with their latest “Designing Women Live!” at Onstage Atlanta, 8 p.m., www.onstageatlanta.com Edie Cheezburger and her drag sisters bring “The Other Show” to Jungle, 9:30 p.m., www.jungleatl.com Atlanta Leather Pride kicks off with Fetish Night, 10 p.m. - 2 a.m., Atlanta Eagle, www.atlantaleatherpride.com Destiny Brooks hosts Femme Fatale at 11 p.m. at Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 20

Grab your best bonnet and hurry to the Annual Easter Drag Races with the Armorettes, one of gay Atlanta’s most sacred traditions. Registrations for the games start at 2 p.m. with the games beginning at 4 p.m. in the Burkhart’s parking lot. Get there early — spaces go fast. All tips will go to the Armorettes PWA Fund, http://tinyurl.com/lhz5lcu

Traxx Girls night at My Sister’s Room offers drink specials, great music and lots of beautiful women, 10 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 12

File photo

Hairy men everywhere – it’s Bearracuda night, with UK’s DJ Wayne G. making his spinning debut. Doors open at 9 p.m., Heretic Atlanta, www.hereticatlanta.com

The M4M Hardbody Revue, hosted by Envy Van Michaels, is a competition for men with a $100 cash prize weekly, LeBUZZ, atlanta.gaycities.com/bars/79-le-buzz

SATURDAY, APRIL 12

Lost-n-Found Youth hosts the second half of its volunteer training from 2 – 5 p.m. at the Lost-n-Found Youth Center, 2585 Chantilly Dr. NE, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.lostnfoundyouth.org Activist and author Penny Rosenwasser talks about her new book, “Hope Into Practice: Jewish Women Choosing Justice Despite Our Fears,” 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com Boybutante 25 – Drag to the Future is the silver anniversary of the Athens, Ga., drag extravaganza, 9 p.m., 40 Watt Club, www.40watt.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 12 She Speaks! Inc. presents the Brown Sugar Vibe’s “Partition” Edition, hosted by Lakara Foster. 7 p.m. at Kat’s Cafe, www.katscafeatlanta.com

Bedlam Presents brings CircquDeCabaret La Suite, a dance party with performance art. Dollhouse Productions, 980 Industry Drive, Savannah, GA, www. hausofbarrybrandon.com Hot Mess is a weekly dance party at Mary’s tonight, www.marysatlanta.com

SOMETHING GAY EVERY DAY!

Bookmark www.thegavoice.com to get your daily dose of local LGBT events.

Get those boxers clean – Jungle Atlanta hosts a 10th anniversary Underwear Party featuring the local bow of DJ/Producer Romullo Azaro, as well as the Harness anniversary event/party with DJ Pat Scott, www.jungleatl.com

My Sister’s Room hosts the Pitties in the City pets benefit show, hosted by Julie Osborne and Steve Mize. Doors opens at 6 p.m. with the show at 7:30 p.m.

Requested donation is $5 at the door, www.mysistersroom.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 13

Jazz @ 781, a new series sponsored by St. Mark United Methodist Church, runs through June 8, Sundays at 6:30 p.m., www.stmarkumc.org

Twisted Dee is the special guest at Xion, 3 a.m., www.cariocaproductions.com $2 well drinks are on tap all day and night at Sunday Funday at Bulldogs, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309 Art for the Arts is a fundraiser for the Atlanta Women’s Chorus. Create an original, music-themed painting of your own, drink, nosh, or hang out. Tickets are $30 (without a painting class) and $50 with, 12 – 3 p.m., Shout Restaurant Lounge, www.h2sr.com/shout

MONDAY, APRIL 14

Practice those ditties beforehand - Blue Monday Karaoke with Darlene Majewski is at 10 p.m. at Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com New Monday Night Trivia, emceed by Wild Cherry Sucret, offers chances to win up to $250 in cash and prizes, 11 p.m. at Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

BEST BETS

TUESDAY, APRIL 15

Mary Moore, founder and CEO of The Cook’s Warehouse, and Don Hackett, a certified sommelier, come together for “Nourishing Our Community: An Evening of Food, Fellowship and Fermented Beverages — Benefiting CHRIS Kids.” This evening includes a homemade meal as well as wine selections. 7 - 9 p.m., Cook’s Decatur, $100, http://bit.ly/1mpMdiX

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16

Two Houses Closing Reception and Award Ceremony for gay artist Aubrey Longley-Cook and Jessica Caldas. Both are Emerging Artist Award Winners for 2014 from the city of Atlanta-Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs. Two Houses is an immersive show investigating interior and exterior views of family. 6:30-8:30 p.m., Chastain Arts Center and City Gallery Chastain, www.ocaatlanta.com Dine out for Pride at DaVinci’s Pizza, 7 p.m., www.atlantapride.org The Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) presents AGLCC University: Use Your LGBT-ness To Grow Your Business Presented by The Piedmont Group of Atlanta, LLC, 6 – 8 p.m., Marriott Marquis Atlanta, www.atlantagaychamber.org Jonah McDonalds discusses “Hiking Atlanta’s Hidden Forests,” the first guidebook dedicated to hikes in town and in close-in neighborhoods. This is a Charis Circle Urban Sustainability and Wellness Event.

The suggested donation is $5, 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com Match Game, Family Feud and more are on the bill as part of the Second Anniversary celebration of The Big Gay Game Show, benefitting Lost-n-Found Youth, 8 p.m., Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com The infamous, ubiquitous Ruby Redd hosts Birdcage Bingo at 8 p.m. at Atlanta Hideaway, www.atlantahideaway.com SkateBoyz ATL “Easter Wkknd” kickoff, 8 p.m. at MetroSkates, www.facebook.com/skateboyzatl

THURSDAY, APRIL 17 – SUNDAY, APRIL 20

The Dixie Invitational Bowling Tournament is this weekend, celebrating its 32nd year as one of the oldest LGBT tournaments in the country. All matches are at Brunswick Zone. More information can be found at www.dixiebowl.org

THURSDAY, APRIL 17

10th & Piedmont hosts a fundraiser for Kyle Williams as he runs for State Senate, 5:30 – 7 p.m., $50 minimum to attend, www.communitashospitality.com

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Free dance lessons are on the menu on Two-Step Tuesdays. 8 – 11 p.m., Heretic Atlanta, www.hereticatlanta.com The Georgia Tech and Agnes Scott Glee Clubs join forces for the Tax Shelter Concert, 8 p.m., Eddie’s Attic, www.eddiesattic.com

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TUESDAY, APRIL 22

RuPaul’s Drag Race: Battle of the Seasons, hosted by Michelle Visage and featuring Jinkx Monsoon, Sharon Needles, Ivy Winters, Carmen Carrera, Pandora Boxx, Phi Phi O’Hara and DJ Mimi Imfurst, is tonight, with doors opening at 8 p.m. and show at 9 p.m., Center Stage Atlanta, www.centerstage-atlanta.com

The Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals (formerly AEN) sponsors Money Matters Buffet, with multiple experts in the financial world on tap to speak, 6 p.m., TEN Atlanta, www.TENAtlanta.com The Cliterati Open No Mic features YaNi, Mendy Knott and Chelsea Rathburn from the new anthology “Southern Sin.” This is a Charis Circle From Margin to Center Literary event. The suggested donation is $5. 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 18

Pearl Cleage visits Charis with her first work of non-fiction in years. “Things I Should Have Told My Daughter: Lies, Lessons & Love Affairs” charts her background in a political arena and her renewed focus on her own passions. This is a Charis Circle From Margin to Center Literary Event. The suggested donation is $5. 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com The Third Friday Film series presents “Inequality For All,” a documentary about the country’s widening economic gap, First Existentialist Congregation of Atlanta, 7:30 p.m., www.firstexistentialist.org

SATURDAY, APRIL 19

The Lesbian 50+ Potluck and Social offers great food and the opportunity to meet new people, 6 – 8 p.m., Philip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.org

Food, drink, dancing and great music — Atlanta Freedom Bands presents Spring Swing with the MetroGnomes Stage Band as its annual fundraiser, 8 – 10 p.m., Hudson Grille Midtown Georgia’s Queen of the Blues - Francine Reed – headlines an evening at Red Clay Theatre at 8 p.m., www. eddieowenpresents.com

CONTINUED ON PAGE 28

Whether you want to provide for your loved ones, support the organizations that are important to you, or plan for your own comfortable retirement, I can help you plan for your goals. I’ll look at all aspects of your finances, then find solutions that are right for your unique needs. And as your goals and needs change, I’ll be there to adjust your plan and help put your dreams within reach.

Our Advisors. Your Dreams. MORE WITHIN REACH®

Call me today at (404) 913.9133 Allen Shpigel, AWMA®, CRPC®, CLTC Financial Advisor Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor® An Ameriprise Platinum Financial Services® practice

7000 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd. Ne Bldg. 6-350 Atlanta, GA 30328 404-913-9133 allen.a.shpigel@ampf.com www.ameripriseadvisors.com/ allen.a.shpigel

Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Some products and services may not be available in all jurisdictions or to all clients. Ameriprise Financial cannot guarantee future financial results. © 2013 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Kings, queens and femmes come together for My Sister’s Room Drag Race competition, hosted by Tiff-Nay, Romeo Lee, Chase Daniels and Jami Atlanta, www.mysistersroom.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 20

Lips Atlanta is the home for Gospel Brunch, with the Sisters of Sequin, hosted by Bubba D. Licious, with a brunch special and $5 show cover, with brunch at 12:30 p.m. and entertainment at 1:30 p.m., www.lipsatl.com Third Sunday PFLAG Meeting, 2:30 – 5 p.m., St. Mark United Methodist Church (UMC), www.stmarkumc.org Get to Church (It’s a bar!) for Easter Sunday. DJ Vicki Powell returns with a special Easter Sunday Service at Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room & Ping Pong Emporium. 7 p.m., www.sisterlouisaschurch.com It’s double feature time, as the Atlanta Rollergirls hosts a twin bill, at 5:00 p.m. and at 7:30 p.m., Yaarab Shrine Center, 400 Ponce De Leon Ave, Atlanta, GA 30308

MONDAY, APRIL 21

Dine Out for Charis Circle, 6 – 11 p.m., Wrecking Bar, 292 Moreland Ave NE, Atlanta GA 30307 Trans and Friends is a support group for youth focused group for trans*people, people questioning their own gender, and aspiring allies, 7 – 8:30 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com “The Lion Sings Tonight” is a benefit for Joining Hearts, featuring cast members of the stage musical “The Lion King,” 7:30 p.m., Woodruff Arts Center, www.woodruffcenter.org

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23

Georgia Equality, WonderRoot, Charis Books & More, TILTT and JustUsATL invite you to participate in Deconstructing Binaries, a community-based public art project that will challenge binary representations of gender identity on restroom signage, 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

THURSDAY, APRIL 24

Join Rabbi Pamela Gottfried for a Lunch and Learn series and a discussion about the biblical prohibitions on same-sex relations. 12 – 1 p.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.com Velvet Lips Presents the Advanced Sexuality Series on Fantasy & Fetishism. This is a Charis Circle Urban Sustainability and Wellness event. The suggested donation is $15. 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com Decadence: A Night of Drinking and Debauchery is every Thursday starting at 10 p.m.A wet underwear contest begins at 11 p.m, with a cash prize and dancers aplenty, TEN Atlanta, www.tenatlanta.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 25

DJ superstars Chus and Ceballos bring their beats to Opera nightclub. Proceeds benefit AID Atlanta, 10 p.m., www.operanightclub.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 26

The second annual Ready for Hope Patio Bear-B-

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Q. $15 cover with money raised going to the Atlanta AIDS Walk. 2-6 p.m. at Heretic, www.hereticatlanta.com

TUESDAY, MAY 6

The Men of David contest is a benefit for AID Atlanta, with an 8 p.m. VIP reception and the show at 9 p.m., Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com

SATURDAY, MAY 10

THURSDAY, MAY 1

Green Day’s Broadway sensation “American Idiot” makes it Atlanta debut at the Fox Theatre, running through May 4, 7:30 p.m., www.foxtheatre.org

SATURDAY, MAY 3

HRC Atlanta hosts its annual Gala Dinner, 5 p.m., Hyatt Regency Atlanta, www. hrcatlanta.org

The one and only Lady Gaga visits Philips Arena, www.philipsarena.com Atlanta Pride hosts its Pride Ride, 8:30 a.m. to noon, Alexander Lake Pavillion, 5089 Flat Bridge Road Southwest, Stockbridge, GA 30281

MONDAY, MAY 12

It’s the official gay ticket of the year! The legendary Cher un-retires and comes to Philips Arena, with the always ‘unusual’ Cyndi Lauper as her opening act, www.philipsarena.com

www.theGAVoice.com

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COLUMNISTS

www.theGAVoice.com

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID Celebrate our differences

How a girl is challenging a Christian school’s idea of femininity

When I was in elementary school, a man from church compimented mother on what a handsome son she had. He was talking about me and my stylish Dorothy Hamill haircut. The elderly gentleman was confused by my preference for pants instead of dresses, and assumed I was a boy. My mother simply thanked him and went about her business, not finding it necessary to correct him.

She absently told me what he said, in a “Can you believe that?” kind of tone, but I remember being affected by it. It was one of the first times I felt different. The old man was simply trying to give a compliment to my mother’s family and would never know the lasting effects of his mistake.

Administrators at Timberlake Christian School in Forest, Va., have now made a similar mistake. Enrolled in the school is 8-yearold Sunnie Kahle. Much like I was at her age, Sunnie has short hair and prefers to wear jeans and sneakers. Instead of tea parties or playing with dolls, young Sunnie participates in sports and would rather be outside.

But the school’s K-8 principal was not a fan of this behavior and sent a letter to Sunnie’s family, saying she was not feminine enough. A portion of the letter read: “You’re probably aware that Timberlake Christian School is a religious, Bible believing institution providing education in a distinctly Christian environment. We believe that unless Sunnie as well as her family clearly understand that God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity, that TCS is not the best place for her future education.”

The letter goes on to warn her family that administrators can refuse enrollment for condoning sexual immorality practicing a homosexual lifestyle or alternative gender identity.

Her grandparents’ reaction? They imme-

Melissa Carter is one of the Morning Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post.

She is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and one of the few in the country. Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter

diately took Sunnie out of Timberlake Christian School and enrolled her in public school.

They also went public with the school’s letter, causing an outrage online. Even Wonder Woman had something to say about it.

Lynda Carter posted on her Facebook page: “Sending love to little Sunnie Kahle.

Stay strong and love who you are...short hair, sneakers and all.”

The public outcry forced a statement from Timberlake Christian School, reversing their position.

“We are heart-broken that Sunnie’s grandparents have made her the subject of a public discussion. We regret that they made the decision to withdraw Sunnie immediately from Timberlake Christian Schools. For confidentiality reasons related to a minor, it is not possible for us to explain in full detail the volume of documentation we have concerning the situation that the grandparents have made public. Despite that response to the criticism, Sunnie’s family says the school is no longer an option for her,” the school said in a statement.

I still prefer pants over dresses, and feel best in casual attire. But I’ve come a long way from that moment of mistaken identity in Central Christian Church, and am very secure in my femininity. It’s the idea that anyone has to deal with being different that is so frustrating to me. Difference in art or science is inspiring, yet for some reason being different as a human being is still a problem for so many. In fact, discomfort with difference is the source of all prejudice and harassment.

Whether your hair is long or short, you don skirts or pants, or you like girls or boys, you belong here in this world. And as I hope Sunnie learns from this experience, you are also just fine the way you are.

COLUMNISTS

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SOMETIMES'Y' Arrival of a reckoning

Anti-gay conservatives now afraid of the warnings they once ignored

History passes much faster than I expected, and we’re beginning to see that its judgment is as ruthless as was warned.

When LGBT Georgians were defending ourselves against a constitutional amendment outlawing same-sex marriage, one of the most powerful weapons we and our allies had was a promise: History will judge you.

It was a dual-purpose vow. It triaged our wounded psyche, giving us the comfort of knowing that although we were losing, brutally, our losses and our dignity would eventually be vindicated by time and progress.

More obviously, it was a threat to our opponents: It’s easy for you to bully us now, but one day history is going to knock you on your ass.

Our opponents responded to this graciously blunt warning by laughing at us, by punching us with constitutional force. In Georgia and across the country, they cast votes for their anti-gay amendments and made donations to ensure that these measures passed.

We got a glimpse of history’s vengeance this month when Brendan Eich was forced out as CEO of Mozilla for the miniscule sin of donating $1,000 to the political campaign that passed Proposition 8 in California in 2008. Candidly, there are far more malicious expressions of bigotry than a millionaire making a token contribution to a ballot initiative that 52 percent of California voters supported, and I still believe the outcry over Eich’s employment was exaggerated given the degree of his offense.

But some fruit is designed to hang low, and the ease with which Eich was picked has rightly terrified the higher-up haters.

“This is just the most open, blatant expression of the new fascism, which says, ‘If you don’t agree with us 100 percent, we have the right to punish you,’” said former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who is among the many who have done more to oppress LGBT people than Eich ever did. “If you have the wrong view, meaning conservative, you have no career.”

Gingrich’s indignation collides with the right-to-work, at-will employment dogma of Gingrich and most conservatives. A busi-

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

ness owner should be able to fire you without cause at any moment, according to this antiemployee mindset, yet it’s “fascism” for a business owner to terminate an employee after deciding his bigotry is bad for business.

The Republican vision of the American workplace is one where businesses and corporations can impose their religious opinions on female employees’ family planning by refusing to cover contraception in healthcare plans; entrepreneurs can cite their religious worldview to refuse employment and service to homosexuals.

Being conservative does not make one unemployable, just as it does not require one to hate.

Gingrich, Eich and their ilk chose to hate. It was their lifestyle preference, no matter how much they insist that God made them that way, spiteful and sanctimonious. The enmity that Conservative Inc. had toward LGBT people has not been washed from everyone’s heart during this millennial baptism that our culture is undergoing—it’s simply unacceptable to express it as proudly as it has been until just a couple of years ago.

Unable to call us queers or consider us a fray in the national fabric, Gingrich now justifies his opposition to LGBT rights by claiming victimhood. Instead of hating sodomites, Gingrich despises fascism. Gingrich and the conservative political strategy has morphed from “smear the queer” into a crusade for “religious liberty,” suggesting they remain in denial about the changes that are occurring, and how they dwell in the gutters of a bygone way.

They will pay for their prejudice now and in the future. As long as they cling to their belief that rights are less inalienable for citizens who are different from them, it will continue to cost them—elections, jobs and legacies.

Gingrich and other conservatives can try to con the public by redecorating their bigotry and finding new ways to justify it, but the judgment of history will not be outrun by excuses.

04.11.14

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