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GEORGIANEWS

Gov. Nathan Deal vetoes anti-gay ‘religious freedom’ bill Republican lawmakers call for special session to override HB 757 veto

community who have questioned his faith and those in the business community who threatened to withdraw jobs from the state if the bill were signed into law, saying, “The people of Georgia deserve a leader who will make sound judgments based on solid reasons that are not inflamed by emotion.”

The governor ended the press conference by talking about discrimination and the character of the state of Georgia.

“I do not think we have to discriminate against anyone to protect the faith-based community in Georgia, of which my family and I are a part of for all of our lives,” he said, adding, “Georgia is a welcoming state filled with warm, friendly and loving people.

I believe that is our best side.”

“I intend to do my part to keep it that way.

For that reason I will veto House Bill 757.”

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com Gov. Nathan Deal ended 12 very long, often tumultuous days of speculation and on March 28 announced that he is vetoing House Bill 757, the controversial anti-LGBT so-called “religious freedom” bill that has roiled the state and caused a national backlash.

The bill would have allowed faith-based organizations (including churches, religious schools or associations) to deny people the rental or any usage of its facilities for events it finds “objectionable.” Also these faithbased organizations would have not been required to provide social, educational or charitable services “that violate such faith-based organization’s sincerely held religious belief.”

And they would have been allowed to deny employment and fire those whose “religious beliefs or practices or lack of either are not in accord with the faith-based organization’s sincerely held religious belief.”

Also, the revised bill included much of the language of the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993, which requires government to prove a “compelling governmental interest” before it interferes with a person’s exercise of religion. There was a provision added that said it cannot be used to allow “discrimination on any grounds prohibited by federal or state law” but there are no federal or state laws that expressly protect Georgia’s LGBT community against discrimination.

The bill drew instant backlash after the new version hit Gov. Deal’s desk on March 16, with LGBT groups and the business community speaking out most forcefully against it. Nearly the entire film and television industry came out against it in the days leading up to the veto, threatening to boycott and significantly damage what has become over a billion dollar annual boost to the state’s economy.

Gov. Nathan Deal addressed the media on March 28 for a 10-minute address and did not take questions. (Photo courtesy of WikiCommons)

“Georgia is a welcoming state filled with warm, friendly and loving people. I believe that is our best side. I intend to do my part to keep it that way.”

—Gov. Nathan Deal in his March 28 press conference announcing his veto of HB 757 Deal’s announcement about the veto drew praise from far and wide, including many Democratic lawmakers unaccustomed to doing so. But conservative faith leaders lashed out and Republican lawmakers signaled their intentions to call a special session of the legislature to override the governor’s veto.

Deal: Bill could lead to ‘state-sanctioned discrimination’ During the March 28 press conference, Deal stated that he was not swayed by the examples of supposed religious discrimination happening in other states that proponents of the bill cited in support of HB 757. Pointing out the example of a bakery in Colorado that refused to sell a same-sex couple a wedding cake and were then sued, Deal mentioned that that case was different because Colorado had adopted a public accommodations law.

Georgia has no such statute—a point LGBT

activists have been making throughout the debate, and possibly a signal from the governor of what would be needed if any such “religious freedom” bill were to pass in the future.

The governor also stated that he had no issues with the Pastor Protection Act, the version of HB 757 that passed the House unanimously before having the anti-LGBT language of the First Amendment Defense Act inserted in.

“The other versions of the bill, however, contained language that could give rise to state-sanctioned discrimination,” he said Monday.

Deal also made a point that opponents of the bill have been making throughout the debate, saying the entire situation “illustrates how difficult it is to legislate on something that is best left to the broad protections of the First Amendment of our U.S. Constitution.”

He singled out both those in the religious

Republican lawmakers want special session Reaction to Gov. Deal’s veto immediately poured in from across the state and the country, including LGBT groups like Georgia Equality, Georgia Unites Against Discrimination, Lambda Legal, Freedom For All Americans, SOJOURN and the Human Rights Campaign. Progressive faith leaders and the business community were among the others praising the announcement.

But it was the strong and widespread reaction from state Democratic lawmakers that stood out most, with House Minority Leader Stacey Abrams, Senate Minority Whip Vincent Fort, lesbian Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates), Rep. Taylor Bennett (D-Brookhaven), lesbian Rep. Keisha Waites (D-Atlanta), queer Rep. Park Cannon (D-Atlanta), Rep. Stacy Evans (D-Smyrna), Rep. Nikki Randall (D-Macon) and Sen. Elena Parent (D-Atlanta) among those who gave a thumbs up to the governor.

But state Sen. Mike Crane (R-Newnan) almost immediately called for a special session of the legislature to override Gov. Deal’s veto, saying, “The announcement by Gov. Deal is another example of how the political class is bought and paid for by corporations and lobbyists,” and adding, “This fight is not over.” Georgia law states that it takes a three-fifths majority in both the House and the Senate to convene a special session.

4 News April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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GEORGIANEWS

LGBT candidates prepare for May primary elections LGBT voters’ impact increases as others stay home on election day

By PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com When queer women’s health advocate Park Cannon won the February runoff for the House District 58 seat, she did so solidly, beating former state Rep. Ralph Long by nearly 20 points. But that 20 point win represented only about 200 votes. And she could have avoided the runoff altogether if she had received just 23 more votes in the previous month’s election.

While that was a special election, it still goes to show how much impact voters are capable of having as all 56 seats in the state Senate and all 180 in the state House come up for grabs in this November’s election. But first up are the primaries on May 24.

“It can actually have a huge influence on both the makeup of the legislature for the next two years but also the tone of the debate around a whole host of issues that are important to the LGBT community, and all of that gets decided on May 24 with the primaries,” says Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality.

Here we look specifically at the openly LGBT candidates running for the legislature this year, including four different men who will attempt to become the first openly gay man elected to the legislature.

House District 54 District includes: Buckhead and West Midtown The Lowdown: Openly gay candidate Bob Gibeling is unopposed in the primary election but faces a stiff challenge this November against incumbent Republican Rep. Beth Beskin. Gibeling will have a lot of ground to make up over the next six months as far as financial support. As of Jan. 31, he had raised $7,400 and has $7,100 on hand, while Beskin has raised $182,000 and has $49,000 on hand.

House District 56 District includes: Southwest Atlanta, Downtown, and Midtown The Lowdown: Marckeith DeJesus, a 37-year-old openly gay certified financial

Josh Noblitt has a competitive primary in House District 59, while Rafer Johnson and Valerie Vie (l-r) face off against each other and four other candidates in House District 62. (File photos)

“It can actually have a huge influence on both the makeup of the legislature for the next two years and the tone of the debate around a whole host of issues that are important to the LGBT community, and all of that gets decided on May 24 with the primaries.”

—Jeff Graham, executive director of Georgia Equality

Details

2016 primary elections for the Georgia legislature Voter Registration Deadline: April 26 Early Voting Starts: May 2 Primary Election Day: May 24 counselor, has a tough primary on his hands as he faces off against Rep. “Able” Mable Thomas, who’s looking for a third straight term in District 56 after two previous stints in the House in the ’80s, ’90s and ’00s. The political newcomer has not filed any campaign disclosure reports as of Jan. 31, while Thomas has raised $43,000 and has $7,500 on hand.

House District 58 District includes: Southwest Atlanta, Downtown, and Midtown The Lowdown: Openly queer state Rep. Park Cannon can rest easy after beating former state Rep. Ralph Long in a special election runoff in February to replace Simone Bell, who resigned last November. Cannon has no challengers in this year’s primary or general election.

House District 59 District includes: East Point, Inman Park,

Grant Park, Lakewood Heights, Little Five Points, Poncey-Highland and Reynoldstown The Lowdown: Josh Noblitt, the openly gay marriage and family therapist and pastor at Saint Mark United Methodist Church, jumped into the race to replace state Rep. Margaret Kaiser, who is forgoing a reelection effort to make a mayoral run in 2017. There are no Republicans who qualified for the race, so it’s all down to the Democratic primary to decide who takes the seat, and it could be a close one. As far as the money race goes, Noblitt has raised $62,000 and has $21,000 on hand, attorney David Dreyer has raised $95,000 and has $85,000 on hand, and Janine Brown has raised $68,000 and has $52,000 on hand all as of Jan. 31.

House District 60 District includes: Southeast Atlanta, Hapeville, parts of Clayton and DeKalb counties The Lowdown: Lesbian state Rep. Keisha Waites is unopposed in the primary and is expected to land a third straight term in office when she faces off against Republican truck driver Ralph Nobles in November.

House District 62 District includes: Portions of College Park, Douglasville, East Point, and portions

of Fulton and DeKalb counties The Lowdown: This is one primary to keep an eye on, with two openly gay candidates and six candidates overall looking to replace retiring state Rep. LaDawn Jones. And there is no Republican opposition in November so whoever wins in May takes the seat. Openly gay community activist and flight attendant Rafer Johnson landed a Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund endorsement over lesbian family law attorney Valerie Vie, and Johnson has raised the most money ($44,000) but has only $1,700 on hand as of Jan. 31. Vie has raised $19,000 and has $17,000 on hand, while attorney William Boddie, Jr. has raised $38,000 with $19,000 on hand and public servant Aaron Johnson has raised $13,000 with $8,000 on hand. Entrepreneur Joshua Butler and businessman Larry Perkins, Jr. have reported no money raised as of Jan. 31.

House District 85 District includes: Avondale Estates, Clarkston, Decatur and parts of Belvedere Park and Candler-McAfee The Lowdown: Lesbian state Rep. Karla Drenner isn’t going anywhere. She faces no opposition in the primary or general elections and will be elected to her eighth term in office come November.

6 News April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

NEWSBRIEFS Dee Dee Chamblee demands apology from East Point official for transphobic incident Longtime Atlanta transgender activist Dee Dee Chamblee returned to the municipal court building in East Point on March 23 where she says she was repeatedly misgendered and interrogated about her genitalia by Solicitor General Antavius Weems.

Chamblee originally appeared in court on Jan. 27 to defend a simple traffic charge, but tells Georgia Voice that in the process of her hearing she was “whisked away to a private room, interrogated about her gender reassignment surgery, lied to about the law and threatened with jail time.”

Nearly two-dozen supporters joined her as she confronted Weems and demanded a public apology and thorough training on gender, sexuality and trans identities for all city court personnel.

Weems apologized for how he made Chamblee feel but refused to apologize for misgendering her, citing an unknown law as a requirement for him to address Chamblee by the gender marker on her government-issued identification instead of her preferred pronoun.

GOP lawmaker defends anti-gay ‘religious freedom’ bill State Sen. Greg Kirk (R-Americus) addressed the media on March 22 to defend a controversial anti-LGBT so-called “religious freedom” bill, citing the effect marriage equality has had on countries like Canada, Mexico and the United Kingdom. He also confirmed specifics about the bill regarding local nondiscrimination ordinances and called on Gov. Nathan Deal to sign the bill into law. Deal announced on March 28 his intent to veto House Bill 757.

Kirk addressed several issues raised by opponents of the bill, including whether the bill would supersede local nondiscrimination ordinances. A clause in the bill says it can’t be used to allow “discrimination on any grounds by federal or state law,” but there are no nondiscrimination protections for LGBT people in Georgia on a state or federal level. When pressed on whether the bill would cancel out those LGBT non-discrimination ordinances in 60 jurisdictions across the state—including Atlanta—Kirk confirmed the point, saying, “Federal law trumps state law and state law trumps local law. That’s the way it works.” www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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Buy tickets online at: VoicesOfNote.org Dee Dee Chamblee (left) and Holiday Simmons (right) lead a march to the City of East Point Municipal Court. (Photo by Darian Aaron)

Kirk repeatedly claimed that he had an “open door policy” on discussion about the bill but confirmed that he did not consult with Reps. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates), Keisha Waites (D-Atlanta) or Park Cannon (D-Atlanta) before introducing the revised version of the bill last week. Drenner, Waites and Cannon are the only openly LGBT lawmakers in the General Assembly.

Hollywood heavyweights pile on against Georgia’s anti-gay ‘religious freedom’ bill The Weinstein Company, Fox, Viacom, AMC (which films the blockbuster TV show “The Walking Dead” in Georgia), Starz, Lionsgate and Time Warner are the latest media companies to oppose HB 757. Time Warner says the bill “clearly violates the values and principles of inclusion and the ability of all people to live and work free from discrimination,” while the Weinstein Company says it “will not stand behind sanctioning the discrimination of‎ LGBT people or any American.”

The Weinstein Company also threatened to move a Lee Daniels-directed biopic of

Richard Pryor starring Oprah Winfrey, Eddie Murphy, Kate Hudson, Mike Epps and Tracy Morgan.

Disney and its Marvel Studios film unit also announced on March 23 that they would pull out of Georgia permanently if Gov. Deal signed the bill into law. The comments came in a Disney statement to the Hollywood Reporter.

Disney’s announcement came on the heels of the Atlanta Convention and Visitors Bureau’s statement indicating that over 15 companies would consider moving their conventions out of Atlanta if the bill passed, torpedoing the city’s convention business by 40 percent over the next five years and costing the city’s economy over $6 billion.

The Human Rights Campaign also unveiled a list of entertainment industry leaders who pledged to boycott the state if Gov. Deal had chosen to sign the bill into law. The list included: Dustin Lance Black, Kristin Chenoweth, Lee Daniels, Anne Hathaway, Seth MacFarlane, Julianne Moore, Ryan Murphy, Aaron Sorkin, Marisa Tomei and Gus Van Sant.

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April 1, 2016 News 7

Outspoken “The good ol’ days of the South for white, heterosexual, Christian men and the horror for anyone else outside of what has proven in many ways to be a tainted trinity is over.”

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8 Outspoken April 1, 2016

May the good ol’ South die a quick death

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com Back in Oct. 2015, I proudly boasted in an editorial that “our state hasn’t turned out to be as bigoted as many expected” following the June 2015 Supreme Court ruling that legalized marriage equality nationwide. It appeared I’d spoken too soon until Gov. Deal announced his intent to veto House Bill 757 on March 28, thereby slightly redeeming the faith I’d lost in southern politics. Since the beginning of the 2016 legislative session, Republican state lawmakers have been embroiled in an attempt to codify discrimination into law and to uphold the longstanding reputation of Georgia and the South as a hotbed for bigotry and discrimination.

House Bill 757, or the Pastor Protection Act or the First Amendment Defense Act or the Free Exercise Protection Act, whatever name its authors decided to use as the bill worked its way through both chambers, once again placed Georgia in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons and threatened the economic prowess of the “Hollywood of the South,” not to mention some of the most vulnerable citizens in our state who do not have the luxury of being included as a protected class---those who identify as LGBT. The Republican proponents of HB 757 wanted nothing more than to convince the public that this bill and their decades-long culture war against the LGBT community and any group or idea that didn’t align itself with a narrow Christian world view wouldn’t be subject to discrimination. In fact, their talking

points suggested that so-called “religious freedom” legislation was a necessary compromise to protect both the LGBT community and people of faith (i.e. Christians—other faiths continue to remain an afterthought) with “sincerely held religious beliefs.”

Make no mistake about it, HB 757 and other “religious freedom” legislation that has popped up across the country is a direct response to the success of the LGBT equality movement in America. When a large segment of society becomes accustomed to privilege, equality begins to feel like oppression. Contrary to what some Christians would have you believe, Christianity is not under attack, nor are gay and lesbian couples in active pursuit of bigoted ministers to officiate one of the most important events in their lives by forcing clergy to comply through court order. Fear and hypothetical ‘what if’ scenarios are a tool of the right wing and a scare tactic that is increasingly being seen for exactly what it is by an evolving American populous. Sadly, southern lawmakers continue to cling to any possible remnant of the old South where women were seen and not heard, blacks knew their place and LGBT people were deeply closeted with no hopes of moving beyond second-class citizenship.

The good ol’ days of the South for white, heterosexual, Christian men and the horror for anyone else outside of what has proven in many ways to be a tainted trinity is over. Any attempt to halt cultural progress in Georgia or in any other state is certain to be met with fierce opposition.

I agree with lesbian state Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates), who during

a recent press conference with other LGBT legislators opposing HB 757 said, “When we allow discrimination in any form we can no longer call ourselves free, because some of us are not. Freedom is an all-or-nothing principle. There are no shades of liberty.”

A decision by Gov. Deal to sign HB 757 into law would have not only been economically disastrous for our state, it would have reaffirmed our reputation as a place where there is no shortage of people of faith that publicly abhor sin, but consistently and hypocritically support hateful legislation as God’s will for his people.

The obvious disconnect between the belief in Christian values and the failure of Georgia lawmakers and their constituents who support HB 757 to exemplify the spirit of Christ couldn’t be more glaring. It’s an observation Gov. Deal addressed during his veto speech to a political party that is determined to use the Bible instead of the Constitution to legislate.

“I do not think we have to discriminate against anyone to protect the faith based community in Georgia of which my family and I are a part of for all of our lives. Our actions on HB 757 are not just about protecting the faith-based community or providing a business-friendly climate for job growth in Georgia. This is about the character of our state and the character of its people,” said Deal.

Indeed. Today, I’m proud of Gov. Deal for making the right decision. However, the fight is not over on either side; we’re just getting started. But whatever happens next, we in the LGBT community must always champion freedom over discrimination, equality over bigotry and progress over stagnation. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

OUT IN THE WILD Creepoftheweek

By Simon Williamson

Spring-time renewal Simon Williamson lives with his husband in heteronormatively-assimilative fashion in Athens, after a year of surviving rural Georgia.

“I very much appreciate that the market agrees that discrimination against LGBT people in the manner described in HB 757 is wrong; it is great to have our people on the right side of the market in this day and age. But don’t expect that to continue forever.”

Anyone who has ever picked up a newspaper would more than likely have known that the marriage fight at the Supreme Court last year was one of many battles involved in our war to be treated like people.

We’ve fought a lot, through our magnificent organizations, asking for basic things like barring housing discrimination, and encoding into law things like not being fired from our jobs when our boss finds out what we like to do with our genitals. We might have won the marriage debate – I’m not as scornful as some about that particular victory as I had a dog in the fight; I’m an immigrant through marriage – but there is more to do that affects the practical lives of far more people than the ability to get married.

We saw this with the passage of HB 757, aka the “religious liberty” bill, which is some of the premier pushback in this state against the nationally increasing wave of gay rights. This has been beaten down through the actions of activists – I have a friend who has been on the phone for two weeks working against this bill – and prodding from corporate America.

Big business might be helping out the gay rights fight, and indeed forced Governor Deal’s hand into a veto on Monday. But don’t think our corporate allies in this fight are going to stick with us when it comes to other very real and daily problems faced by real people.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act – the one that says you can’t fire LGBT folks for, you know, being LGBT – remains too burdensome for business to get the House of Representatives to even introduce onto the floor. Since the act was first introduced, in 1994, it has failed to garner enough votes on www.thegeorgiavoice.com

more occasions than Mitt Romney.

Back when we lived in rural Newton County, we noted the absence of public opprobrium weapons available in big media markets like Atlanta. I am fairly certain that if the fire chief of Butts County distributed books about gay people, a local mayor wouldn’t come out guns blazing like Kasim Reed did against Kelvin Cochran. One of the greatest clubs we can wield against discrimination is a loud media, which isn’t available, or as agreeable, as those based in and around Midtown.

Georgia’s big businesses are making the right call, and the pressure they put on the governor is likely more impressive than what civil organizations were able to force on their own. The governor wants Georgia to lead in business (a very reasonable aim), and laws like HB 757 don’t allow him to boast about that.

But we must be wary of allowing corporate America to take up this fight for us, instead of our own organizations. While our interests converge on this religious liberty bill, they diverge on others. Combating the homophobia and transphobia of certain segments of society will require regulation, and appropriations, and maybe more training of the police force, and the judicial system, and healthcare (including the state-funding of some procedures) and new rules for schools (even the semi-private and private ones).

We aren’t going to get a mass of corporate allies for those. I very much appreciate that the market agrees that discrimination against LGBT people in the manner described in HB 757 is wrong; it is great to have our people on the right side of the market in this day and age.

But don’t expect that to continue forever.

Laurie Higgins of Illinois Family Institute

By D’ANNE WITKOWSKI It’s almost that time of year again: April 15 is the annual Day of Silence where students across the country choose to spend the day without speaking in order to call attention to anti-LGBT bullying in schools.

And this year, like every year, the anti-LGBT right is clutching its collective pearls at the very thought.

Laurie Higgins of the Illinois Family Institute is one such pearl-clutcher. She, along with the usual anti-LGBT suspects, is encouraging parents to pull their kids out of school on DOS lest they be indoctrinated with the message that it’s not okay to call a kid “fag” and push him down the stairs after gym.

“Parents should no longer passively countenance the political usurpation of public school classrooms through student silence,” Higgins writes on the IFI website.

Let me take a moment to point out that Higgins doesn’t really give a shit about public schools. The right has been undermining public education for years and support private charter schools where kids can learn that Jesus rode around on dinosaurs. You can go to the IFI’s website yourself and peruse the articles about education. Most of them are about how to keep transgender

students out of locker rooms or about how great homeschooling is.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), which is responsible for the DOS, Laurie Higgins characterizes the event as “a studentled national event that brings attention to antiLGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools.”

Sounds like a worthy goal, right? But not for Higgins. She takes issue with the DOS because, as she claims, it’s not about preventing bullying but is actually intended “to undermine the true belief that homosexuality and cross-dressing…are immoral.”

The suicide rate for trans youth is even higher than the rate for LGB youth, so it’s extra nice that Higgins managed to bully them while making her point that bullying isn’t the real issue.

Higgins seems to think that the very idea of being “comfortable” at school is a laughable luxury when it really is fundamental to an institution of learning.

April 1, 2016 Outspoken 9

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The Wedding Issue

Celebrating a milestone A reflection on the legalization of marriage equality and the stories that got us there

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com

I

t’s an incredible feeling to know that on June 26, 2016, our community will celebrate the one-year anniversary of Obergefell v. Hodges – the historic Supreme Court ruling that legalized marriage equality nationwide. That day will be forever etched in history as the culmination of decades of struggle, setbacks and ultimately triumph for gay and lesbian couples that were denied the dignity, rights, and civil protections the institution of marriage provides.

Person-by-person, story-by-story, we set out to change the hearts and minds of Americans

by being visible examples of how love can manifest itself beyond the heteronormative ideal.

The world is indeed changing. The debate may continue about same-sex marriage rights, but one thing is for certain, our community’s courage to demand respect and recognition for our relationships have not only changed the law but has also changed the trajectory for so many LGBT youth for generations to come.

Allow yourself to think back to the first time you fell in love – the first time you ever allowed yourself to entertain the idea of settling down with your chosen partner – the first time you sat down to plan your dream wedding despite such nuptials being illegal in a majority of states or before you even knew who would stand next to you at the altar. The legal roadblocks or one’s perpetual bachelor/bachelorette status never stopped us from loving and hoping and, for many, never stopped us from dreaming about

experiencing the ultimate form of commitment.

It’s a dream I’ve had as far back as I can remember. The fact that my “bride” would most likely be a groom didn’t seem to deter me from making wedding plans prematurely in my head. My intuition assured me that society and the American legal system would recognize marriage as a civil right for gay and lesbian couples in my lifetime.

We’ve come a long way from 2004 when the overwhelming majority of Georgia voters approved a discriminatory marriage ban that excluded gay and lesbian couples from civil marriage recognition. Yet, with recent so-called “religious freedom” legislation, we’re reminded that bigotry and discrimination is still alive and well in our state and remains a threat to equality.

How can anyone be opposed to love between two consenting adults? It’s a rhetorical question that I’m sure you’ve asked yourself

many times throughout the years. It’s a question I found myself asking again as I gazed at the wedding photos of the four gay and lesbian couples featured in this issue. So evident is the love between these couples that their joy in finding each other and the public declaration of their love literally leaps from their photos.

We should all be so lucky to find someone to share our lives with, and thanks to the Supreme Court, sexual orientation is no longer a determining factor in one’s pursuit of happiness.

Georgia Voice is proud to feature the couples chosen for our annual wedding issue and we’re equally proud to serve as a source for planning your own special day. Whether you’re actively pursuing marriage or actively running away from it, let’s join together to celebrate the fact that the option is no longer unattainable and it was the work of ordinary people doing extraordinary things that made it a reality.

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April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 13

The Wedding Issue

5 PLACES TO POP THE QUESTION From traditional to unconventional–let these Atlanta spots set the mood

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com When your fiancé tells the story of how you proposed–other than breathing a sigh of relief that you finally did it–you want the story to be worth telling. A delicious meal followed by a traditional proposal on one knee is nice. A flash mob proposal with viral video potential can even be an option. But if neither of those are your cup of tea, then by all means consider these five proposal options with the beautiful city of Atlanta as your backdrop.

SkyView Atlanta

168 Luckie St. Atlanta, GA 30303 678-949-9023 www.skyviewatlanta.com

If you and your partner aren’t afraid of heights, then allow the beautiful Ferris wheel at SkyView Atlanta to provide the ambience for a proposal 20 stories above the city. Your special moment will come with breathtaking panoramic views of downtown Atlanta and Centennial Olympic Park. SkyView offers climate-controlled gondolas and even VIP gondolas with Ferrari leather seats and a glass floor.

Atlanta Botanical Garden provides the perfect scenery for a romantic proposal.

(Courtesy photo)

Horse Carriage Ride Nottingham Shire & Carriage for Hire LLC

1345 Piedmont Ave. Atlanta, GA 30309 404-876-5859 www.atlantabg.org

Piedmont Park Gazebo

400 Park Dr. NE Atlanta, GA 30306 www.piedmontpark.org

556 Tift St. Atlanta GA, 30310 678-621-3414 www.carriageforhire.com

Flowers aren’t the only things with potential to be in full bloom at Atlanta Botanical Garden–so is love. The beautiful gardens provide the perfect scenery for a romantic proposal. And if flowers aren’t your thing, you can always pop the question on the beautiful Canopy Walk surrounded by the calmness of water underneath. This venue also offers more private areas to propose such as the Robinson Gazebo.

The beauty of Piedmont Park may be taken for granted by locals who frequent the park during their morning run or during annual events such as Atlanta Pride, but the covered gazebo overlooking Lake Clara Meer should definitely be included on your list of potential places to propose to your partner.

The gazebo and the sweeping lawns of Piedmont Park are also perfect for a romantic picnic or post-proposal dinner for two.

Who says that you can’t live out your childhood fantasy of being Cinderella or a prince for one night? Take a stroll through Atlanta and pop the question in one of four horse-drawn carriages offered by Nottingham Shire & Carriage for Hire. The Cinderella Carriage comes with 500 twinkle lights for a night proposal and the Vis-à-Vis Carriage comes with a convertible folding top and seats up to six adults in case you wanted friends and family to witness your proposal. Routine inspections by the City of Atlanta and Georgia Department of Ag-

Atlanta Botanical Garden

riculture ensure the health and safety of Nottingham Shire’s herd.

The Sundial Restaurant, Bar & View The Westin Peachtree Plaza 210 Peachtree St. NE Atlanta, GA 30303 404-589-7506 www.westin.com/peachtree

If there has to be a co-star to your leading performance during your proposal, then by all means it should be the breathtaking views of Atlanta from the Sun Dial Restaurant. Located on the uppermost floors of The Westin Peachtree Plaza, the Sun Dial features a revolving upscale restaurant, a rotating cocktail lounge and an observatory level, all of which can be utilized to create a proposal your partner will never forget.

From above left: The Piedmont Park Gazebo is perfect for a romantic picnic or post-proposal dinner for two. Take a stroll through Atlanta and pop the question in one of four horse-drawn carriages offered by Nottingham Shire & Carriage for Hire. On SkyView Atlanta your special moment will come with a breathtaking panoramic view. (Courtesy photos)

14 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Marriages are a gift of God. Yours is sacred to us.

CENTRAL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH GARY W. CHARLES, PASTOR 201 WASHINGTON ST 404-659-0274 • CPCATLANTA.ORG Looking for a progressive church?

Come to Central Presbyterian, where we celebrate all human diversity as intentional acts of God.

DRUID HILLS UNITED METHODIST CHURCH

DAVE ALLEN GRADY, PASTOR 1200 PONCE DE LEON AVE. (AT BRIARCLIFF) 404-377-6481 DRUIDHILLSUMC.ORG.

NORTH DECATUR PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

ELIZABETH WALTEMATH & DAVID LEWICKI, CO-PASTORS 611 MEDLOCK RD. • DECATUR, GA 30033 404-636-1429 NDPC.ORG The life to which we are called as disciples of Jesus is this: serve, work for peace and justice, and share God’s love with everyone you meet.

EMORY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH THE REV. JILL OGLESBY EVANS, PASTOR 1886 N. DECATUR RD. • 404-325-4551 EMORYPRESBYTERIAN.ORG

Wherever you are on your spiritual journey, we invite you to travel along with us.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF ATLANTA

GLENN MEMORIAL UNITED METHODIST CHURCH

(NEXT TO THE HIGH MUSEUM)

Glenn Memorial is committed to loving God and loving neighbor with our whole selvesheart, mind, soul, and strength. As Jesus loved those around him, we believe that all persons are of sacred worth and dignity as part of God’s creation. We welcome all persons into the full life and ministry of our congregation.

404-892-8461 FIRSTPRESATL.ORG.

A community of grace, rooted in tradition and open to the spirit.

MORNINGSIDE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

REV. DR. BARON MULLIS 1711 MORNINGSIDE DR. • 404-876-7396 LGBTANDFRIENDS@MORNINGSIDEPC.ORG Morningside Presbyterian Church doors are open to everyone as we aspire to live out our motto: Welcome all. Serve all. Sunday worship at 11 AM.

ST. MARK UNITED METHODIST CHURCH DR. BETH LAROCCA-PITTS, PASTOR 781 PEACHTREE ST. 404-873-2636 STMARKUMC.ORG Over a century of acceptance.

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

REV. SHELLI LATHAM, PASTOR 1026 PONCE DE LEON AVE. 404-875-7591 • DHPC.ORG.

Druid Hills Presbyterian Church is an open and affirming congregation. We believe that there is nothing that separates us from the love of God and that all of God’s children are called into Christian community, are created with a purpose that glorifies God, and are invited to serve the church and the needs of our neighbors.

THE EPISCOPAL CATHEDRAL OF ST. PHILIP

THE VERY REV. SAMUEL G. CANDLER, DEAN 2744 PEACHREEE RD. 404-365-1000 STPHILIPSCATHEDRAL.ORG Sunday Eucharist Services 7:45/8:45/9/11:15 AM (English & Spanish). 4 PM Evensong.

A house of prayer for all people.

Radical love is here!

Happy Pride!!!

DR. TONY SUNDERMEIR 1328 PEACHTREE ST.

DRUID HILLS PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

REV. DR. P. ALICE ROGERS 1660 N. DECATUR RD. (AT EMORY) 404-634-3936 • GLENNUMC.ORG.

ST. JOHN’S LUTHERAN CHURCH, ELCA THE REV. NANCY CHRISTENSEN, SR. PASTOR 1410 PONCE DE LEON AVE. NE 404-378-4243 STJOHNSATLANTA.ORG Invites freely, loves unconditionally, and serves with joy!

Sunday services at 10:30 a.m.

All are welcome.

ST. JOHN’S LUTHERAN CHURCH

VIRGINIA HIGHLAND UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST REV. MICHAEL PIAZZA 743 VIRGINIA AVE. • 404-348-4830 VHCHURCH.ORG

Virginia Highland is a radically inclusive community boldly pursuing God’s charge to fight for justice, embrace compassion, and humbly explore our faith as we follow the Way of Jesus.

Do justice. Love mercy.

Walk humbly.

GRACE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH REV. KATE HURST FLOYD, PASTOR 458 PONCE DE LEON AVE. 404-876-2678 • GRACEONPONCE.ORG

Whoever you are, wherever you are on your faith journey, you are God’s beloved and welcome at Grace UMC. Join us for worship on Sundays at 11 AM.

ST. LUKE’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH REV. DAN MATTHEWS JR., RECTOR 435 PEACHTREE ST. • 404-873-7600 STLUKESATLANTA.ORG St. Luke’s is a diverse community of doers: feeding the hungry, tending the sick and studying God’s word.

Come see for yourself.

Worship Sunday 8/9/11 AM. Complimentary parking.

Come be part of our faith family April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 15

The Wedding Issue

CHOOSING THE PERFECT WEDDING VENUE 5 places to consider when choosing the perfect space for your nuptials

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com Of all the things on your to-do list, choosing a venue to hold your special day most likely ranks at the top. Here are five Atlanta venues that we believe you should give serious consideration to host your wedding celebration. Your guests will wonder how you managed to pull it off and the memories will last forever.

Georgian Terrace Hotel Whether you’re planning a small wedding with 25 guests or a lavish affair with a guest list of 250 or more, Georgian Terrace Hotel and its three ballrooms are ready to accommodate your special day. With floorto-ceiling windows, natural lighting and crystal chandeliers, your wedding day will look like an epic fairytale. And when the day has come to an end, Georgian Terrace Hotel invites you to relax in one of five wedding suites designed specifically for the brides and grooms.

Renaissance Atlanta Midtown Hotel If you’re interested in mixing modern glam with southern charm for your wedding day, Renaissance Atlanta Midtown Hotel

may be the perfect fit to make your wedding ceremony dreams a reality. Your guests can witness your public commitment on the rooftop under Atlanta’s skyline surrounded by sculptured avant-garde fire pits and a breathtaking waterfall or you can opt for the 4,445 square-foot High Ballroom. Regardless, your day is guaranteed to be special, especially since the Gay Wedding Institute Certification Program has certified this hotel’s wedding planners.

Fernbank Museum of National History If you’re looking to infuse your wedding day with a bit of drama, and we’re referring to the kind that will make your guests gasp in a good way, then the breathtaking 86-foot glass ceiling mounted high above the world’s largest dinosaurs in Fernbank’s Great Hall may be a winner. For a more intimate setting, Fernbank also offers the Terrace for an open-air ceremony, The Star Gallery, complete with a fiber optic ceiling showcasing constellations of the evening sky and the Museum Lobby, which is perfect for your ceremony or reception.

Atlanta History Center Opulent. Grand. Regal. Those are a few adjectives any bride or groom would most

Above: The Atlanta History Center offers variety, elegance and historical appeal that is sure to be remembered long after you say ‘I do.’ Below: Regardless, your day is guaranteed to be special, especially since the Gay Wedding Institute Certification Program has certified Renaissance Atlanta Midtown Hotel’s wedding planners. (Courtesy photos)

likely use to describe the wedding facilities available at the Atlanta History Center.

You could host a small ceremony here, but that would be an affront to the pomp this venue demands. A guest list of 750 people? No problem, the Grand Overlook and the Swan House Gardens can accommodate up to 800 guests. The Atlanta History Center offers variety, elegance and historical appeal that is sure to be remembered long after you say ‘I do.’

Woodruff Arts Center Who says your wedding can’t rival any production onstage at Woodruff Arts Center? Take advantage of Woodruff ’s unique combination of visual and performing arts by transforming your wedding day into a work of art. With in-house catering and nine different spaces to host your ceremo-

ny, Woodruff is ready to accommodate your guest list of as few as 25 people up to as many as 2,000. Complete event planning services are also offered. From decor, linen, floral selection, and entertainment, it takes a knowledgeable team to transport your wedding ideas from the page to the stage.

From above left: Fernbank’s Great Hall boasts an 86-foot glass ceiling high above the world’s largest dinosaurs. Georgian Terrace Hotel and its three ballrooms are ready to accommodate your special day. Take advantage of Woodruff’s unique combination of visual and performing arts by transforming your wedding day into a work of art. (Courtesy photos)

16 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

April 1, 2016 Ads 17

The Wedding Issue

YOUR WEDDING DAY IS ABOUT TELLING A STORY Christopher Confero guides couples at the start of a new chapter

By DYANA BAGBY Planning a wedding is really about creating a narrative of a couple in love that will be remembered for a lifetime, says Christopher Confero, an Atlanta wedding planner.

“There are few peak days in your life and your wedding is one of them,” he says. “Your wedding day is about emotions and making memories. When I plan a wedding I am telling their story as a couple.”

To tell the story means getting beyond a couple’s favorite colors and favorite flowers. It means getting to know them as people, he says.

With wedding planning, Confero says he tends to attract what he projects.

“My clients – we would be friends outside work,” he says. “I get to know them very well.”

A first meeting between Confero and a prospective couple takes place over afternoon tea or an evening cocktail, in a place and time where people are comfortable, loose and willing to share, he says.

“A lot of it is asking the right questions. I push beyond those little circles of what they know and love,” he says. “But it’s just as important to know what they don’t like.”

Many clients will have a few ideas of what they want for their own wedding after looking through magazines or websites. Confero says it is his job to find out exactly what they like by drilling down to specifics.

“I want to know where do [my clients] go on date nights, where do they shop for clothes, what their house looks like,” he says.

“I want to get to know the clients in a relaxed setting. It is an interview – they are interviewing me and I’m interviewing them as well.”

As a “theater kid” who grew up performing in show choirs, Confero says he’s always had a performance side to himself, which he brings to every wedding he plans.

When hired by a so-called boring couple, Confero says he interprets their story for their wedding into a really well-executed day, down to finite details. “’Boring’ translates into classic. I had a cou-

“From the invitations to the cake to the flowers, I am telling one cohesive story and I have to make sure every detail ties in and works together.”

—Christopher Confero ple who were both accountants. Their wedding was classic and well done. We had the chairs edged perfectly to the table,” he says.

When he brings in the couple to see the reception area for the first time, “it’s rare I don’t get tears and screams,” he says. “My favorite part is when they see their vision over the past nine months come to life.”

Knowing your audience is also about telling a great and memorable story, Confero says.

For the wedding of Dale and Brooks featured on page 24, Confero knew gay men would be impressed with the tiniest details, including monogrammed hand towels in the restroom.

“The guests loved it; they were taking

Top and above: Various photos from Confero’s wedding design portfolio.

Right: Confero designed wedding invitations for featured couple Dale and Brooks.

(Courtesy photos)

them home,” he says.

A pet peeve for Confero is grooms that wear the same suit.

“Grooms should not match,” he says. Instead, wearing complementary suits is best for telling their story. Dale and Brooks, for example, had custom suits made.

“From the invitations to the cake to the flowers, I am telling one cohesive story and I have to make sure every detail ties in and works together,” he says.

“The script of a wedding … is almost like

a pattern, but with each couple I’m coloring with different crayons,” he says. “And that they really trust me with such an important day in their lives is humbling. It blows my mind but I deliver every time. I’m not modest but I am gracious.”

18 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 wwww.thegeorgiavoice.com

CHRISTOPHER CONFERO’S

12-MONTH WEDDING TIMELINE

By DYANA BAGBY 12 months Set the date, draw up a budget, find a venue.

11 months Choose the wedding party. Gown/tux/ suit shopping. Tip: Men should not wear the same suit on their wedding day. Custom-made suits are nice so it’s important to find a tailor.

1 month Apply for marriage license and check on bridal/groom party.

3 weeks Call DJ/musicians and go over playlist.

2 weeks For women, get hair cut/color. Give the photographer the “must have” shots, secure passports, change currency (if traveling out of country), check tickets.

9-10 months Finalize guest list, finalize budget, host engagement party.

10 days Give caterers a final count of those attending, put in flower orders.

8 months Book your photographers, caterers, bakers, florists, stationery and entertainment.

1 week Host bachelor/bachelorette party, have table/seating chart finished, confirm with vendors, get formalwear, men get haircuts.

2-3 days Write checks for vendors.

Day before Host rehearsal dinner; introduce site manager to the maid of honor or wedding planner.

Day of wedding Breathe and have fun.

Post-wedding Plan for someone to take care of gown/send back tux, send thank you cards, keep in touch with photographer and videographer.

(Arden Photography)

7 months Mail out save the date cards, find wedding party outfits, launch wedding website.

6 months Renew passports if necessary for honeymoon; secure honeymoon plans including transportation and lodging.

4-5 months Order wedding rings, check budget.

3 months Order wedding cake, host wedding shower, hire day of transportation and rent menswear for grooms if doing so.

2 months Mail invitations, come up with a seating chart, call vendors with a final guest count, create wedding program, order welcome gifts for guests.

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 19

The Wedding Issue

Ask Diamond Lil “Remember these famous words: ‘Convince a fool against his will.

He’s of the same opinion still.’

They will be aghast to see their nephew coming down the aisle in a wedding gown anyway and have a stroke.”

Iconic Atlanta drag queen gets real with couples tying the knot Diamond Lil has been entertaining audiences across the state of Georgia since the ’50s and has gained a fair share of wisdom over that time. So who better to help some happy couples dealing with pre-wedding dilemmas?

My fiancé and I want to have alcohol served at our wedding reception, but my family doesn’t drink. What should we do?

Do like some of the bartenders around town do. Have two different containers, one that contains tea and the other contains liquor.

Serve your family out of the tea container and serve your drunken friends out of the liquor container. Mark the tea container with a BandAid so you won’t mistakenly serve your family liquor. And if they accidently get the liquor, maybe they will have more fun anyway.

We’re working on the invites but I have several relatives who have been less than supportive of me being gay. I still love them though and want them to be a part of it, and maybe their views will change after seeing us exchange vows? Should I invite them?

Do you want to put a blemish on your wedding by inviting negative relatives? Remember these famous words: “Convince a fool against his will. He’s of the same opinion still.” They will be aghast to see their nephew coming down the aisle in a wedding gown anyway and have a stroke. There’s nothing worse than having an ambulance showing up at a wedding to haul

away ignorant relatives. But then that could make the wedding more exciting.

We created a gift registry, but one of our good friends went rogue and gave us a gaudy home decor piece. Sell it, or keep it and just put it out when they come over?

Put it out when they come over—outside the front door. Tell them that you were having the house cleaned and it was left outside. That’s what happens when you hire an incompetent maid. Maybe she was hoping to come back later on and steal it. After all, it did look like something she would like (re-gifting is in).

I’ve been asked to be in the wedding party for a friend of mine, but there’s one problem—I slept with his fiancé. It happened before they got together, but I still feel a little uncomfortable about it. Should I accept his offer to be in the wedding party or decline?

Well, you’ve been a two-face before. Why not be a two-face currently. Besides, if someone didn’t attend a wedding because they slept with your proposed spouse to be, then nobody would be at the wedding anyway.

Honey, the days of virgin brides is “gone with the wind.” The wedding will start off prim and proper but by the end of the reception, everybody’s gonna be all liquored up and groping and grinding on each other anyway.

Wake up to human nature. Go and have a blast (but don’t use firecrackers).

22 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

The Wedding Issue

DWIGHT EUBANKS: AN EYE FOR BEAUTY Fashion expert and former ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ star on wedding trends and setting realistic expectations

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” may have introduced the world to breakout star NeNe Leakes, but it was the over-the-top personality of fashionista and entrepreneur Dwight Eubanks that kept viewers talking during the first three seasons of the hit Bravo reality series.

Since his departure from “Housewives,” the event planner, clothing and jewelry designer and owner of Purple Door Salon & Spa, located in Atlanta’s historic Sweet Auburn District, has added author to his list of titles in addition to guest appearances on the show that introduced him to the world.

Georgia Voice recently caught up with Eubanks fresh off of a successful show at New York Fashion Week to talk wedding trends, hair and makeup, and setting realistic expectations for your wedding day.

Georgia Voice: So Dwight, tell us about the hot wedding trends this season.

Dwight Eubanks: For brides, they’re looking for something really over-the-top.

What I’m finding that a lot of brides are doing nowadays is a rental. Rental wedding gowns are really popular. A rental gives you the opportunity to have that over-the-top wedding gown that would normally cost you $50,000 to $80,000. To buy a dress or gown at that price point to wear for a couple of hours doesn’t really make sense unless you have an extremely large budget.

Traditional colors and traditional wedding gowns are now passé. You’re seeing a lot of pastel colors now, a lot of diversity. The tuxedos for guys are not the traditional black tuxedos anymore; you’ve got blue and burgundy. A lot of guys are just doing a dinner jacket. It’s about expressing yourself and being totally free. It’s your day and it’s whatever www.thegeorgiavoice.com

you choose to make it.

What’s your wardrobe advice for masculine-presenting lesbians who may not be interested in wearing a wedding gown?

It really comes down to fit and what you’re comfortable in. This is your special day so you have to decide what really makes you happy.

Let’s face it: what was considered traditional is out the door. The Cinderella fairytale wedding is gone and the Cinderella story is out the door, even for straight marriages.

I’d like to shift the conversation to makeup and hair. Ideally, when should a bride schedule a beauty appointment for her wedding day?

It’s never a good idea to wait until the wedding day, because anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Brides are already under a huge amount of stress. A bride should always do a mock-up of how she’d like her hair and make-up to look with a stylist ahead of time so there’s time to make changes. It’s a production. It’s just like the opening night of a play.

What about trying a new hairstyle for your wedding day?

That goes along with the process of elimination. You have 30 or 60 days to try new things, to figure out what you like and what works with your hair texture. Do you need to add hair extensions? Is this (style) going to hold up for your entire evening? What is the weather going to be like? The weather changes everything. In Georgia, July and August are horrible months for outdoor weddings.

What is the average wedding budget?

The budget for an average wedding for 50-100 people is going to be a minimum of $50,000 and that’s not including the rings and the dress. To bring in someone for lighting can be $5,000. If you don’t have a

Dwight Eubanks’ fashion and beauty expertise spans three decades across the U.S. and Europe. (Courtesy photo)

“Let’s face it: what was considered traditional is out the door.

The Cinderella fairytale wedding is gone and the Cinderella story is out the door, even for straight marriages.”

—Dwight Eubanks great budget, it doesn’t make sense to spend $50,000 on a wedding and then you’re going to go live in an apartment. It’s a bride’s dream but you need to be able to pay for it.

Is it possible to have a fairytale wedding on a limited budget?

I tell people all the time that if you don’t have the budget to do an elaborate wedding, simply don’t do it. You have to rent a venue and you’re often limited with catering, and in-house catering can be expensive. If you’re on a limited budget, my best advice is

to have your wedding at a nice home versus going to a hotel.

Any parting words of wisdom?

The most important thing couples can do to make their day a success is to have a thorough consultation with their planner and to take their recommendations. This is something that they do on a regular basis and they’ve experienced a lot of the mistakes. So when they say they “don’t recommend something,” back up and don’t insist. Be able to have an open mind because they know.

April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 23

The Wedding Issue

Dale & Brooks May 24, 2015

I

f you’re looking to meet your oneand-only, consider running a footrace. They’ll see you both clean and fresh-faced at the beginning and sweaty and drained at the end, so if they stick around it’s a good sign. That’s what happened for Dale Dwelle and Brooks Andrews, who met at the Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco in 2010.

“It was pretty much love at first sight,” Dale said. “We went on our first date the next weekend and have been together ever since.”

Brooks, who grew up in Marietta, popped the question over dinner on the mountains in Vail, Colorado on New Year’s Day 2014.

“I was super nervous but finally pulled the trigger after dinner and proposed,” he says.

Atlanta’s Swan House at the Atlanta History Center was the choice for the big day over Memorial Day Weekend 2015—a day that began by defying their wedding planner. The pair, both avid golfers, got up and played East Lake Golf Club that morning.

“It was against the recommendation of our wedding planner, but we thought it would be fun and would be good stress relief,” Dale says laughing.

From there it was time to get ready and take pictures with family at the wedding venue, followed by a pre-ceremony cocktail hour on the lawn of the Swan House. “We had this really cool string quartet playing over a DJ accompaniment, so it was classic strings but over modern day pop music, which really lent to the beauty of the location,” Dale recalls.

A good friend of the grooms officiated the wedding, which had about 150 in attendance, while each of their sisters talked about the history of them as individuals and as a couple.

“There was a really good theme about love and acceptance as far as the theme of the actual event,” Dale says. From there it was on to the ballroom of the Atlanta History Center for the reception to dance the night away.

Several moments stood out as special for Brooks, including the first time they walked into the ballroom to see what wedding planner Christopher Confero had come up with.

Vendors Photographer

Arden Photography

Venue

Swan House at the Atlanta History Center

Cake

For Goodness Cakes

Jeweler

Shane Co.

Attire Jake

Officiant

Sean Murphy

Florist

Designed by the wedding planner, Christopher Confero

“I think we appreciated that we were not capable of choosing flowers and colors and tying a theme together and all that good stuff,” Brooks says laughing, “so we got a little sneak peak of it before everybody walked in and that kind of blew me away. We had just seen a couple of colors on paper but nothing in real life so that was pretty awesome.”

For Dale it was a moment the couple shared inside the Swan House during the pre-ceremony cocktail hour. “Amid the chaos of the day, we got a unique opportunity to really relax and embrace one another and look out on the lawn below and see all of our guests having drinks. That was the time that I personally got really emotional and really started crying, and it was good because that actually allowed me to keep it together during the service.”

Little did the couple know that just one month later, the U.S. Supreme Court would make marriage equality the law of the land, which just made the experience all the more sweet.

About 150 were in attendance to see Dale and Brooks marry at the Swan House at the Atlanta History Center. (Arden Photography)

“Once the date got closer, we realized either we were going to be one of the last couples married illegally or we were going to be one of the first to be married legally,” says

Dale. “We kind of affectionately call it the summer of love just because it was such a fantastic season.”

—Patrick Saunders

24 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

The Wedding Issue

D’Lovely & Lisa

D

February 15, 2014

espite being raised by married parents, D’Lovely Gibson knew early she wasn’t interested in glittering gowns, expensive decorations or any of the over-the-top hubbub attached to so many weddings.

So when, in February 2014, she found herself standing at the center of a $50,000 fairytale ceremony at Atlanta’s Georgian Terrace, tearing up as bride Lisa Favors approached, only true love could be the reason.

“I was like, I’m gonna have to do this for Lisa,” D’Lovely said recently, Lisa smiling in agreement.

Both IT professionals, the women have since enjoyed wedded bliss in their southwest Fulton mini-mansion, where they watch tennis and playfully finish each other’s sentences.

“We met on Jan. 27,” said Lisa, D’Lovely quickly interjecting, “June!”

It was actually in July 2008, at East Atlanta’s now defunct Vino Libro wine bar. Lisa, now 50, was socializing with friends when the topic turned to the ideal woman.

That’s when D’Lovely walked in. She was vibrant. She was professional. She was not interested, Lisa quickly learned.

For starters, D’Lovely, the then vice-president of In The Life Atlanta was there on business. And she wasn’t impressed by Lisa’s presentation.

“She was in some shorts and a t-shirt in a wine bar,” D’Lovely said, laughing. “I was like if I just keep walking she’ll leave me alone!”

But she warmed to the broad-smiling Lisa and took her business card anyway. Within a week, they were chatting about work and family life over Indian food.

The women soon learned they worked just a few minutes from each other. Lisa, struggling with the realities of raising her teenaged nephew, found a sympathetic ear in D’Lovely.

“She was exactly what I needed at that particular time,” Lisa said. “Mostly, a friend.”

Over time, however, romance flourished.

By 2013, the women had matured into a thriving power couple. Marriage seemed like the next natural step, but D’Lovely wasn’t www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Vendors Photography

Terell Clark Weddings

Hair

Rodney Russell

Makeup

Marquita Graham

Attire

David’s Bridal

Cake

Frosted Pumpkin Gourmet

Jewelers

Jared’s, Solomon Brothers

Venue

The Georgian Terrace

sold until her own family dynamics changed.

“My father retired and I was having those conversations with my parents about money and pensions and 401ks,” D’Lovely, 40, said. “It became real, all of what marriage legally does for couples.”

Around that time, Lisa was hearing her own wedding bells and planned to propose on an upcoming Paris vacation. D’Lovely beat her to it.

“In a million years I never, ever, ever thought that would happen,” Lisa said.

Lisa had won over the self-styled “wedding Antichrist,” but the battle wasn’t quite done. The women had dramatically different ideas of how their nuptials should look – Lisa leaning toward a grand spectacle, D’Lovely happy with something at a courthouse. Arguments followed.

“It almost tore us apart,” Lisa said. “But in the end, it brought us together.”

Eventually, they would agree to get legally married in Washington D.C., with an Atlanta ceremony a few months later.

And so, on Feb. 15, 2014, the pair exchanged vows at a lavish lavender-themed

D’Lovely and Lisa spared no expense for their dream wedding at The Georgian Terrace in Midtown. (Photos by Terrell Clark Weddings)

affair before 120 guests. Lisa sparkled in Vera Wang and a veil.

“I wanted Lisa to be the princess for the day,” said D’Lovely, who chose a lower-key, high-collared gown.

Two years later, the women proudly display their wedding album in their living room. And

though she originally considered weddings “a bunch of hoo-ha” D’Lovely said she doesn’t regret taking the plunge in a big way.

“When she looks at that book, when we watch the video, she still gets misty-eyed,” D’Lovely said. “So I feel mission accomplished.”

—Dionne Walker April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 25

The Wedding Issue

Cindy & Courtney

P

March 16, 2013

eople sometimes stumble across the love of their life in the most random of situations, and that’s what happened when Cindy Roddenberry and Courtney Sotherland met for a routine business lunch in 2011. The two were store team leaders for Target in Baton Rouge just meeting to get to know one another. And did they ever.

“It was an immediate connection,” Courtney says.

Within six months, it was Easter weekend and they stuck to that theme for the engagement. “Cindy had made this little Easter egg assortment,” Courtney says. “The smaller eggs each had a little note in them about why she chose me and why she loved me.

Then the big egg was my ring.”

They celebrated afterwards with lunch at the Londoner Pub, the site of that first fateful meeting. Eventually, the couple moved to Atlanta’s Ormewood Park neighborhood where they now reside. But when it came to planning the wedding, they hesitated.

“Neither one of us thought that we would have the opportunity to have a traditional wedding,” Courtney explains. “And growing up in the South, that’s something that was very, very important to me and something that kind of hurt when I realized that I wanted to marry Cindy because I just didn’t think that I would have that opportunity when I realized I wasn’t going to marry a man.”

They talked about going off to California and eloping, concerned about how much acceptance they would receive from their friends and family. “It was almost fear-based—if we don’t even put ourselves out there then we can’t be rejected by family or friends,” Courtney says. “But both sets of our family and parents really encouraged us to have a special wedding, an actual wedding.”

So they booked the Payne-Corley House, a restored farmhouse on four acres of land in Duluth. And the concerns about acceptance were all for naught. Typically around 20 to 25 percent of people decline wedding invitations, but nearly all of the 80 people invited were there to celebrate the couple.

Vendors Photographer

Cayce Calloway Photography

Venue

Payne-Corley House

Cake

For Goodness Cakes

Jeweler Jared’s

Attire

Clara’s Wedding & Alterations

Hair

Libby Wyatt, Urban Evolution

Makeup

Libby Wyatt, Urban Evolution

Officiant Gale York

Florist

Abby’s Floral Designs

“Everyone from Louisiana, New York, North Carolina, Florida, just everywhere along the Gulf and Southeast [came],” Cindy says. “It was amazing.”

After the ceremony and the couple’s first dance (“One and Only” by Teitur), the party was on, with the brides’ family members, many of whom were in Special Forces, hitting the dancefloor with abandon. “They were just dancing with unabashed joy. There have never been so many lawnmowers being cranked on a dancefloor,” Courtney says laughing, referring to the dance move for those who are lacking in moves.

Making the commitment of getting married changed the couple in unexpected ways, with Cindy saying it changed the way she viewed Courtney. “The love was always there and very intense,” she explains.

“But my desire to be a good person and a good partner became very clear to me, and

Cindy and Courtney had a little help from Mother Nature as the wedding occurred during what they say was the one dry weekend of March 2013. (Cayce Calloway Photography)

that I had that level of accountability and love in the relationship, I wanted it to be everything that she wanted it to be and that we had talked about and dreamed of, individually and separate.”

For Courtney, it was a passing moment as the reception was winding down and the couple was getting ready to leave for their hotel. “[Cindy] was standing next to me talking

and her sunglasses were on the floor and I thought, ‘I am now responsible for making sure she always has her sunglasses,’” Courtney says. “I don’t know what it is, but that was something that really resonated, with the fact that, ‘I am now married. I am now responsible for you.’ It was something as simple as a pair of sunglasses.”

— Patrick Saunders

26 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

The Wedding Issue

Seven & Victor

E

November 29, 2015

ach year Victor L. Jones-Moore marks his birthday with a pair of designer sunglasses. His closest friends know of the tradition, so when one invited him to her department store job to choose a pair, he wasn’t suspicious.

Within moments of his arrival, however, his friend had introduced him to another male friend of hers, Seven, and disappeared.

“I recall being very upset – I felt like I had been duped,” said Victor, who didn’t realize that his meddling friend had introduced him to his future husband.

What followed was a whirlwind romance that culminated in a high-profile ceremony that joined two of gay Atlanta’s budding power players. Today, the newlyweds are nurturing emerging careers in makeup and hair design, and settling into a union they believe will encourage other black men to take the plunge.

“There is a stereotype in the black gay community about marriage,” said Seven, who blames the down low media frenzy for the myth that black men don’t get serious with each other. “I feel like we challenged that,” he said.

Both men were happily single about three years ago, when their mutual girlfriend started trying to fix the two up. Neither was interested in dating – “each other or anyone else for that matter,” Seven said – and so they dodged their well-meaning friend’s efforts for months.

When they finally did meet at an area department store, things weren’t picture perfect.

“I was like ‘Oh God, here we go,’” said Victor, who nonetheless invited Seven to his upcoming birthday party. A few weeks later, Seven showed up and wowed the birthday boy with a $400 bottle of champagne.

“From his party on, we were pretty much together every day,” Seven said. “It became a really great friendship.”

A year in, the relationship was flourishing. But there remained an unspoken barrier: Victor had a rule about letting himself get too serious. It appeared the men couldn’t ever be more than just really great boyfriends.

“I had experienced it before – the games www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Vendors Event Planner

Events By Monets

Photographers

Alex D. Rogers, Jack Mannings

Venue

Primrose Cottages

Makeup

Faces By Seven Artists

Hair

Victor L. Jones Hair Teams

Officiant

Bishop O.C. Allen III

that were played,” Victor said. “I just always wanted to keep that distance.”

But then the father of two started thinking about the future. What if something happened to this man he cared about – would he even have rights to be by his hospital bed?

“I was like hmmm, I don’t like the insecurity of being unofficial and then I started to change my tune,” he said.

Unbeknownst to him, Seven had already planned to propose on their one-year anniversary, at a favorite Atlantic Station restaurant.

He flew in family, but when the night came, it was so cold out that Victor rushed into the venue before everyone had gotten their cue.

He ran into a huge crowd of supporters yelling congratulations.

“I hadn’t even proposed,” remembered Seven, who quickly presented his beau with a black diamond ring.

On Nov. 29, the men donned custom tuxedos and said their vows before 150 guests in an elegant Roswell ceremony with couture, antebellum-inspired gowns and sumptuous catering.

Beyond being just a beautiful wedding, the men said their nuptials were a statement.

Both speak of the difficulty of being a black

Seven and Victor hopes their union will serve as an example of what is possible for other black gay men. (Photos by Alex D. Rogers, Jack Mannings)

gay male in the Bible belt.

“It can be a struggle so it was important for a lot of different reasons,” Victor said, adding that some of his closeted friends confided that their marriage helped them feel bolder about their sexuality.

Most importantly, the newlyweds said

their union has helped their kids see that black love can survive.

“We had to do it for ourselves and for our children,” Seven said. “Sometimes you’ve got to fight a different type of fight to show people you’re in love.”

—Dionne Walker April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 27

The Wedding Issue

TOP 9 HONEYMOON DESTINATIONS

Fall in love all over again at these exciting and exotic locations

By DARIAN AARON daaron@thegavoice.com The wedding and reception is now over but that doesn’t mean the party has to end.

We’ve compiled our top nine honeymoon destinations at home and abroad.

Now that your union is legal, it is incumbent upon you to break all of the rules and get as illegal as you’d like to behind closed doors at these hot spots.

Oahu, Hawaii Why Go: From scenic mountain vistas to spectacular beaches, Oahu is home to the world famous Waikiki Beach. The island provides the perfect romantic getaway with breathtaking views from North Shore or atop Nuuanu Pali Lookout.

Where To Stay: The Kahala Hotel & Resort Enjoy Kahala’s oceanfront setting featuring tropical gardens and a private lagoon with its own family of Atlantic dolphins. (www.kahalaresort.com) What To Do: For the adventurous couple, snorkeling and scuba diving is readily available on the island of Oahu. Also, explore hiking at Kaena Point or Diamond Head.

Paris, France Why Go: Paris is synonymous with ro-

mance. Combine the food, historical landmarks and fashion and you’ve got a recipe for a memorable honeymoon.

Where To Stay: Hotel Plaza Athéneé “Sex and the City” fans will recognize this property, as it was the hotel of choice for Carrie and Big’s reunion. There are several honeymoon packages to choose from that will leave you feeling like royalty. (www. dorchestercollection.com) What To Do: Tie a ribbon to symbolize your love on the Pont des Art bridge and visit must-see landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower, Moulin Rouge and the Louvre.

Counterclockwise from above: From scenic mountain vistas to spectacular beaches, Oahu is home to the world famous Waikiki Beach. (Photo by Rob Boeger). Paris is synonymous with romance. Revel in the beauty of the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre. Slip into the peaceful serenity of Santorini’s beautiful beaches and quaint villas. A quick getaway to Savannah and you’re immersed in culture and romance right at home. (Courtesy photos)

Savannah, Georgia Why Go: It’s easy to take the beauty of Savannah for granted since it’s so close to home. This historic city boasts some of the best bed-and-breakfasts in the state.

Where To Stay: Foley House Inn This LGBT bed-and-breakfast is designed with our community in mind and is located in the heart of downtown within minutes of restaurants, boutiques, galleries, and museums. (www.foleyinn.com) What To Do: Take in the historical sights in downtown Savannah or splurge on a carriage ride around the squares. You also have the option of taking a 30-minute drive for kayaking on Dolphin Island.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 29

28 The Wedding Issue April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 28 Santorini, Greece Why Go: It doesn’t get any more beautiful (or gay) than Santorini with its quaint villas and gorgeous sunsets.

Where To Stay: Perivolas Luxury Hotel Slip into peaceful serenity on this cliffside property high above the Agean Sea. Perivolas provides one of the most popular hotel experiences on the island. (www.perivolas.gr) What To Do: Visit the many wineries available on the island, go shopping in the boutiques or rent a scooter to transport you to the beautiful beaches.

What To Do: Enjoy the nightlife and plush golf courses or opt for desert hiking.

Las Vegas, Nevada Why Go: Your secrets are safe here. After all, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

This desert oasis is the entertainment and gambling capital of the world.

Where To Stay: Wynn Las Vegas This beautiful resort conveniently located on the Las Vegas Strip is one of two hotels to

offer a Pride concierge, dedicated specifically to LGBT travelers. (www.wynnlasvegas.com) What To Do: You can do whatever your heart desires in Las Vegas. Enjoy food by world-class chefs or entertainment from pop stars to Cirque Du Soleil, or you can just lounge poolside.

Asheville, North Carolina Why Go: You don’t have to break the bank on your honeymoon. Ball on a budget

and visit the beautiful castles and winery on the property of Biltmore Estate.

Where To Stay: Biltmore Estate This is the place where your fairytale romance becomes reality. Whether you book a room in the moderately priced Village Hotel or the pricey Cottage–you’re sure to enjoy your stay. (www.biltmore.com) What To Do: You’ll find plenty to do in downtown Asheville from boutiques to galleries and even horse-drawn carriage rides.

St. Barts Why Go: This upscale French island is one of the Caribbean’s most popular and serves as a top vacation destination for celebrities such as Gwen Stefani and Mariah Carey.

Where To Stay: Le Sereno This intimate 36-suite hotel caters to sophisticated travelers craving luxury, comfort and privacy. You’ll enjoy a spa on the premises along with private gardens. (www.lesereno.com) What To Do: The breathtaking Colombier Beach awaits you upon arrival in St. Barts along with a host of chic eateries the island has become known for.

Panama City, Panama Why Go: You’ll have the best of both worlds in Panama City: a thriving capital city and a plethora of beautiful beaches, mountains and rainforests to add to your itinerary.

Where To Stay: American Trade Hotel This gorgeous hotel provides a combination of local culture and modern glam with deep roots in Panama’s historic Old Quarter. A suite provides beautiful views of Plaza Herrera or the Gulf of Panama. (www.acehotel.com/panama) What To Do: Animal lovers can get face-to face with monkeys and other animals at Gatun Lake, while music lovers can enjoy Panama’s jazz scene at Danilo’s inside the hotel.

Palm Springs, California Why Go: Palm Springs is ground zero for LGBT travelers. Allow the heat of the desert to translate to the heat you’re sure to create here on your honeymoon.

Where To Stay: Residenza San Lorenzo This LGBT condominium hotel provides all of the amenities of home but in a resort environment with mountain views and exceptional service. (www.randomhauspalmsprings.com) www.thegeorgiavoice.com

April 1, 2016 The Wedding Issue 29

ACTING OUT

By JIM FARMER

The leading ladies of ‘Dreamgirls,’ ‘Menopause: The Musical’ Two local actresses are about to headline two drastically different musicals, both of which have found supportive LGBT crowds. Out actress Ingrid Cole has performed in “Menopause The Musical” – the 2001 vehicle about four women who bond over stories about hot flashes and “the change” – more times than any other in her professional career and is returning this weekend, while Kayce Grogan-Wallace stars as Effie in Atlanta Lyric Theatre’s version of “Dreamgirls,” opening next weekend. We caught up with both performers to find out what makes these roles so special to them.

‘Menopause: The Musical’ runs April 1-3 at the Cobb Energy Centre in Marietta.

Georgia Voice: So, how many times have you been in “Menopause” Ingrid?

I started it in 2005, and between all the touring I have done, I am guessing over 2000 performances. There were times when I would do the show seven days a week, three straight years in Atlanta. I have toured all over the United States, almost every state.

Details ‘Menopause The Musical’

How do you keep it fresh?

That is my job! It is a pleasure to have it, but it can be a new city every night, or a new audience. You’re going to get different reactions. It’s great to make thousands of women laugh. Usually we sweat and cry about menopause and with this, you are celebrating it.

‘Dreamgirls’ April 8 – 24 Atlanta Lyric Theatre Jennie T. Anderson Theatre 548 S. Marietta Parkway Marietta, GA 30060 www.atlantalyrictheatre.com

Tell me about your character, Earth Mother.

She is very cool, a trippy woman from the ’60s. She is the nurturer of the group.

People come up after and say they know her!

What is the appeal?

With menopause, you don’t have to be a Democrat or Republican an American or black or white. If you are on Earth, you are going to go through menopause. For a man, your wife or sister or mother is going to go through it. Let’s make fun of it!

‘All you have to do is dream’ Georgia Voice: Kayce, Effie is so iconic.

Who is she to you?

Effie is extremely determined. I don’t believe she has had much success with relationships and with business. She has had a lot www.thegeorgiavoice.com

April 1 – 3 Cobb Energy Centre 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway Marietta, GA 30080 www.cobbenergycentre.com

of success with her music, though. That is where she holds power.

Have you ever met original “Dreamgirls” star Jennifer Holiday?

I have met her twice. One time was when I was eight or nine, singing for the United Negro College Fund. I was able to go up to her room and I was in awe. A couple of years back she was at a high school performance of “Dreamgirls.” I was a mess, a ridiculous fan.

Why is this show so relevant in the LGBT community?

People connect to the theme, the story.

It’s about acceptance. In the show, it doesn’t matter that I am bigger, that I sing the way I do, look the way I do. That is a theme that people in the gay community have to deal with every day. In our lives, what really matters is whether you accept yourself.

April 1, 2016 Columnists 31

EATING MY WORDS

By CLIFF BOSTOCK

Stir It Up and add Bone Garden to your list of restaurant faves I’ve been dining out with a group of friends for more than four years. Typically, we try to find something new each week, but there are a few restaurants that we have visited repeatedly. Here are two.

Stir It Up: This restaurant became my favorite place for cheap eats when it opened in Little Five Points in 2011. After two years of battling with their landlord, owner-chef Christopher Williams and his wife Vivian moved their Jamaican restaurant to a larger space on 12th Street in Midtown. Prices are up, but most entrees cost under $15.

There is much to love about Stir It Up. Start with the name, which is the title of a Bob Marley tune about cooking. Well, actually “stir it up” is a metaphor for having sex.

And believe me, a few tastes of most food here is better than the sex you had with your ex. The décor is likewise sensual. The dining room, fronted by a lengthy bar, is ultra comfy thanks to some upholstered chairs.

Perhaps best of all, the service is usually stellar. Kind of like the food, our server last week was a bit spicy and a bit sweet.

Stir It Up’s food is widely regarded as the best Jamaican in Atlanta and has received national attention. Another function of its name is to suggest the multiple influences on Jamaican cooking–Indian, African, and Asian, among others. An example is the curry, a traditional dish based on the Indian classic with Jamaican spices stirred in. As with many dishes here, you can select your protein–chicken, shrimp, tilapia, or goat.

My go-to dish at the old location was the brown stew. The sauce reminds me of a Mexican mole, complexly seasoned with a faintly sweet taste. I always get it with the hunks of hacked chicken still on the bone. I admit, though, that I was disappointed during my last visit to find that there was barely a hint of the heat peppers subtly added to the dish in the past. It’s nonetheless delicious and begs for the rice and peas for stirring into the sauce. Sweet, caramelized plantains come with most dishes.

For years, my other favorite dish has been the saltfish and cabbage. It features diced,

Brown stew chicken with rice, peas, cabbage and sweet plantains is one of many popular dishes on the menu at Stir It Up. (Photo by Cliff Bostock)

salted cod in a warm slaw, served with fried dumplings. I know it sounds kind of icky to a lot of people, but it is unbelievably good.

The jerk chicken is classically hot and spicy, glazed and glossy, addictive.

I could go on, but you get the point. Go. (84 12th St., 404-600-5871, stiritupatl.com.)

Bone Garden: I’ve mainly loved this restaurant since it opened in 2008. The name is an allusion to the Mexican Day of the Dead.

Classic images like smiling skeletons decorate the walls. But the real attraction here is the food’s authenticity. This is not Tex-Mex food filled with nasty chili powder. If you want an example, try a tamale. Unlike the average around town, Bone Garden’s are not steamed to death and set aside to turn into tasteless crap, barely punctuated with fillings. My favorite here is the rajas–strips of poblano peppers with creamy cheese, and salsa encased in fluffy corn meal, and steamed in a corn husk.

But you can’t go wrong with anything on the menu. (1425 Ellsworth Industrial Blvd., 404-418-9072, bonegardencantina.com.)

Cliff Bostock, PhD, is a longtime Atlanta food critic and former psychotherapist who now practices life coaching for creative types; 404-518-4415.

32 Columnists April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo

Fabulous, award-winning, and scene-stealing, Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo returns to Atlanta in size 12 pointe shoes. Hurtling through the classical ballet repertoire with their inimitable blend of skill, grace and wit, The Trocks have been a global phenomenon since they formed in 1974. The dancers, including Ida Nevasayneva and Minnie Van Driver, effortlessly display their startling technical prowess and their no-less extraordinary make-up skills.

ENJOY A FULL TROCKS WEEKEND! The Rest is Drag A Workshop with Goldie Peacock

“This is the funniest night you’ll ever have at the ballet.”

–The Guardian

APR

APR

9 10

SAT

8:00 PM

Thursday, April 7 at 6:30 pm Join Brooklyn’s Goldie Peacock for a workshop on drag as an art form of personal empowerment. Explore creativity, transformation, body language, and how to dress for success. All gender presentations and identities are welcome and no experience is necessary! Register at arts.gatech.edu/ ferstcenter/ferst-center-shows

Trocks Special at Henry’s Midtown Tavern!

Present your Trocks show ticket for a special discount at Henry’s on 10th Street

SUN

2:00 PM

CALL NOW FOR TICKETS!

404-894-9600

details and more events at

arts.gatech.edu

B

ES

LGBT

Our Guide to the Best LGBT Events in Atlanta for April 1-14

T BETS

AT L A EVENT

SUNDAY, APRIL 3

N TA

Politics, sex, religion, loss, and beauty – all of the topics that you can’t talk about over dinner but can at a museum – are open for discussion in “Art AIDS America,” an exhibition that reveals for the first time how the AIDS crisis forever changed American art. Its stop at Kennesaw State University’s Zuckerman Museum of Art is the only Southern stop on its national tour, through May 22, www.zuckerman.kennesaw.edu.

S

Blake’s debuts its new Midtown Rouge Show tonight, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

MONDAY, APRIL 4

Trans and Friends is a youth focused group for trans people, people questioning their own gender, and aspiring allies.

Charis provides a facilitated space to discuss gender, relevant resources and activism around social issues. Whether silently or aloud, please come ready to consider your own gender in a transient world. This is a project of the Feminist Outlawz and is co-sponsored by Charis Circle’s Strong Families, Whole Children, 7 – 8:30 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 3

The Tony Award-winning musical “Kinky Boots” has finally come to the ATL, running through today at the Fox Theatre with 1 p.m. and 6 p.m. shows, www.foxtheatre.org (Publicity photo)

FRIDAY, APRIL 1

SCAD FASH, the Savannah College of Art and Design’s museum celebrating fashion and film, presents “Be Yourself; Everyone Else Is Already Taken” — the first U.S. exhibition featuring the work of artist, stylist and designer Daniel Lismore — through today, www.scadfash.org

EVENT SPOTLIGHT

The Atlanta Film Festival, the city’s second largest film festival, opens today and runs through April 10 at multiple area venues, with several LGBT films as part of their Pink Peach series, www.atlantafilmfestival.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 1

SATURDAY, APRIL 2 – 3

Come party with the Fort Troff grunts as BeefyBoys presents Barracks, with appearances by sexy studs Bennett Anthony and Jonah Fontana and music by DJ Seth Breezy, 10 p.m. – 3 a.m., Heretic Atlanta, www.hereticatlanta.com (Photo via Facebook)

34 Best Bets April 1, 2016

150 local and regional artists are part of the Spring Festival on Ponce, as well as live music, a kids area, a food truck and beer and wine, Saturday, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. and Sunday 11 a.m. – 6 p.m., www.festivalonponce.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 2

Bring a covered dish and plenty to talk

about to the Lesbian 50+ Potluck and Social, 6 – 8 p.m., Rush Center Annex, www.rushcenteratl.org The Variety Playhouse welcomes comedian Paula Poundstone, 6 p.m., www.variety-playhouse.com Belinda Carlisle will sing “Mad About You” and more as she headlines Center Stage at 9 p.m., www.centerstage-atlanta.com If it’s 9 p.m. at BJ Roosters, hot boys will be on the bar, bartenders will be pouring strong drinks, and DJ Tommy will be spinning fun tunes, 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd., Atlanta, GA 30324 Looking for a hot daddy? Then come to the first Saturday DILF at Woof’s Atlanta, 9:30 p.m., www.woofsatlanta.com DJ Alex Acosta spins at Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com

The PFLAG support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning people and their parents and family meets tonight from 7:30 – 9 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, www.uuca.org

TUESDAY, APRIL 5

Make your lunch break a networking opportunity and connect with business professionals, small business owners, job seekers and community supporters to expand your circle of influence and grow your business at Connecting Atlanta, a networking lunch by MAAP (Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals). Join MAAP at Egg Harbor Café (1820 Peachtree Street, Atlanta., GA 30309) on the first Tuesday of every month from 11:45 a.m. to 1 p.m. for a networking lunch. There is no set price, just pay on your way out for your meal. The event is limited to 20 participants. Please pre-register by emailing Todd Cosper at tcosper@maapatl.org Art It Out Therapy Center is now offering an Expressive Art Therapy Group for LGBTQ Teens on Tuesdays. Through art, the group will explore self-identity, coping with stress, intimate and parental relationships, and coming out. 7 p.m.,

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

TELL US ABOUT YOUR LGBT EVENT Submit your LGBT event for inclusion in our online and print calendars by emailing event info to editor@thegavoice.com 255 Village Parkway (in Paper Mill Village), Suite 580, Marietta, GA 30067

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6

Join “Girl Sex 101” author Allison Moon as she guides you down the twists and turns of queer female sexuality. Enjoy a reading from the award-winning and bestselling book plus a few sexy stories from Moon’s collection “Bad Dyke,” followed by a Q&A and book signing. The suggested donation is $5. 7:30 – 9 p.m., Charis Books, www.charisbooksandmore.com

THURSDAY, APRIL 7

The Stars Party is a Jerusalem House benefit raising money to support HIV/ AIDS housing in Atlanta. The event features an auction including getaways, entertainment, dining out packages, gifts and furnishings, 6 – 9 p.m., The Georgian Ballroom of the Biltmore, 817 West Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30308 The 29th Annual Atlanta HRC Gala Dinner and Auction is fast-approaching. Join the HRC Atlanta Gala Dinner and Auction Committee at Steel tonight for the final pre-dinner reception of the year where the organization will announce local awards recipients. 7 – 9 p.m., Steel Restaurant & Lounge Atlanta, 950 W Peachtree St. NW, Ste. 255, Atlanta, GA 30309 The new Cirque du Soleil show, “Kurios,” has opened at Atlantic Station, with several openly gay performers, with an 8 p.m. curtain tonight, running through May 8, www.cirquedusoleil.com The Pretty Girl Hideout Thursdays is tonight, hosted by Mook Dahost, Soul Bar at Pal’s Lounge, 254 Auburn Ave., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.traxxgirls.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 8 – SUNDAY, APRIL 10

Atlanta Leather Pride 2016 will be this weekend at the Atlanta Eagle, featuring Hotlanta Rubber and Gear Club barnight and demos on Friday, a $5 BBQ and Beer Bust, Mr. and Ms.

www.thegeorgiavoice.com

TUESDAY, APRIL 12

Broadway’s “Dreamgirls” cast member Terry Burrell stars in “Ethel,” a one woman show about the legendary Ethel Waters, tonight at 7:30 p.m., running through April 17 at the Alliance Theatre, www.alliancetheatre.org (Publicity photo) Atlanta Eagle and Mr. Southeast Rubber contest and a SWEAT Victory party with DJ Neon the GloGoBear on Saturday, and a Victory Brunch at Roxx at 11:30 AM on Sunday, www.atlantaeagle.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 8

The gay-themed film “Take Me to the River” opens at the Midtown Art Cinema today, www.landmarktheatres.com Atlanta Lyric Theatre opens a version of “Dreamgirls,” directed by gay man Ricardo Aponte, running through April 24 with an 8 p.m. curtain tonight, www.atlantalyrictheatre.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 9

Connecting to other gay men, nature and ourselves can help us feel more balanced and enhance our feelings of well-being. Connections, a workshop for gay men, is today from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Panola Mountain State Park, www.atlantapride.org/event/ connections-workshop-gay-men-2 Join Jungle Atlanta and HRC for Her HRC battle of the DJs, a very special night of dancing, and ’80s and ’90s nostalgia featuring some of Atlanta’s hottest DJs. Relive two iconic decades for music as the DJs blend the best of the two decades.

The DJ with the most cash tips at the end of the night wins! Butch, femme, trans, lesbian, gay, drag, straight, bisexual, ally — come as you are! Her HRC events are open to all, regardless of gender identity or history. 7 – 9:30 p.m., Jungle Atlanta, www.jungleatl.com Aurora Theatre has opened Stephen Sondheim’s “Into the Woods,” with a performance tonight at 8 p.m., running through April 17, www.auroratheatre.com It’s karaoke night at the newly reopened Cockpit, 465 Blvd. SE, Atlanta, GA 30312 The infamous Charlie Brown hosts the adults-only Taboo Show at midnight, Lips Atlanta, www.atldragshow.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 10

DJs Travis and Eric spin the early morning hours away at 3 a.m. Xion, www.facebook.com/events/1126267100747150/ Joining Hearts presents its Change of Seasons retro themed ’90s tea dance, 4 – 8 p.m., The Georgian Terrace Hotel, 659 Peachtree St. NE, Atlanta, GA 30308

MONDAY, APRIL 11

Come play Blackjack with Miss Lauren

at 7 p.m. at the new non-smoking Woofs Atlanta, www.woofsatlanta.com

TUESDAY, APRIL 12

Tapped Tuesdays at My Sister’s Room features 14 beers on draft, free darts, $2 tacos and lots o’ women, 7 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com J’s Lounge is the home for Rainbow Tuesdays, with Dymond Onasis and Nicole Paige Brooks leading the fun and DJ Destin providing house music, 1995 Windy Hill Rd. #1, Smyrna, GA 30080

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13

Ruby Redd hosts her infamous Birdcage Bingo complete with drag performances, 8 p.m., www.atlantahideaway.com Angelica and Malibu host the new A.M. competition show at 10:30 p.m. at Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

THURSDAY, APRIL 14

Charis is excited to welcome Kristen Hogan with her new book, “The Feminist Bookstore Movement: Lesbian Antiracism and Feminist Accountability.” Hogan traces the feminist bookstore movement’s rise and eventual fall, restoring its radical work to public feminist memory. 7:30 – 9 p.m., www.charisbooksandmore.com

April 1, 2016 Best Bets 35

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

By MELISSA CARTER

The virgin officiant Do you remember where you were when the Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage was legal? It’s not a difficult question to answer since it took so long to get to that announcement last summer. For me that historic moment has led to a dramatic change in my life that will take place in the next few days.

The ruling came while I was in the car on the way to a meeting with the Atlanta Community Food Bank. Tears forced me to pull over into a random parking lot in Midtown and absorb the historic moment in the privacy of my car, and caused me with good reason to be late and swollen-eyed to my appointment.

It also proved bittersweet since my relationship with the woman I thought I would marry had secretly come to an end months earlier. Despite my personal disappointment, the joy I felt for us as a community and the opportunities it offered inspired me to do something to celebrate our victory. If I couldn’t get married myself, I was going to marry other couples.

In my radio life, I’ve known more than one personality to go online and get ‘ordained’ so they can officiate weddings as a radio bit. I honestly discarded it as a joke, something an Elvis impersonator would do for his Vegas act. Realizing I wasn’t going to get married following the Supreme Court’s decision, I knew I still wanted to be part of a wedding and began to look into how my colleagues got ordained. That’s when I found Universal Life Church, a site responsible for the ordination of such celebrities as Conan O’Brien, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Lady Gaga. I ate my words and criticism as I filled out the required form and immediately gained the ability to preside over weddings.

My first wedding takes place this weekend. A lesbian couple in Paulding County has invited me to lead their ceremony Sunday, and quite frankly they have made it very easy on this virgin officiant. Since it’s not either woman’s first marriage, they have written their own vows and provided me with

“My biggest challenge will be to fight back tears as I say them. That and finding the right outfit, since I don’t have the traditional robe that you often see religious leaders wear. What does one wear to a wedding when you’re standing in front of the crowd?” the rundown of how the ceremony should go. I look forward to speaking their beautiful words. My biggest challenge will be to fight back tears as I say them. That and finding the right outfit, since I don’t have the traditional robe that you often see religious leaders wear. What does one wear to a wedding when you’re standing in front of the crowd?

I hope I fulfill my responsibilities to these ladies’ satisfaction … meaning I don’t pass out or cry harder than the couple. To officiate an LGBT wedding as a member of the LGBT community myself, as someone who understands the struggle, sacrifice, and emotion that leads these women down the aisle, is such an honor. I hope this is the beginning of a long-running gig.

Melissa Carter is one of the Morning Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post. She is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and one of the few in the country. Follow her on Twitter@MelissaCarter

36 Columnists April 1, 2016 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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April 1, 2016 Ads 37

SOMETIMES ‘Y’

By RYAN LEE

Lost in other people’s feelings The last place I thought I would be during Easter weekend was inside a church, but that’s where I spent part of a life-or-death Saturday, or more accurately, love-anddeath. I started my day attending a funeral and ended it at a wedding, which might have stretched my emotions in competing directions except I didn’t know the person who had died or the couple being married.

I certainly felt sadness for a dear friend who was saying a final goodbye to her adult daughter, and the thought of someone I care about having to endure such a uniquely torturous loss. Although I had never met the deceased, I attended the funeral because when you feel helpless to alleviate a friend’s grief with anything you could say or do, simply being present seems the most effective and respectful way to let her know that you are there for her.

But her pain is not my pain, and so while she was overwhelmed by memories of the baby she brought into the world and the erasure of parental hope, I was able to contemplate how the death spared my friend decades of struggle and heartbreak; my biggest anguish of the morning was whether it was uncouth to show up to a funeral carrying big bright Easter baskets for two young girls who had lost their mother and aunt. During the service, I had no memories of the departed to occupy my mind, and I found myself staring in the direction of the immediate family, almost monitoring their mourning.

Their woe felt sufficient and appropriate: crying and flushed faces, pained but heartfelt smiles when the speaker told stories of childhood mischief. I wondered whether there was sorrow that I was capable of deeming insufficient, and was disappointed by even the possibility that I might’ve judged a family’s sadness if they were too stoic or if they were sliding out of the pews and wailing on the church floor.

There is no template for how to cope with trauma, just as there is no verified formula for falling in love. But pretending there is a standard is something we frequently do with varying degrees of consciousness, whether it’s one of my best friends who regularly complains about what he considers overwrought bereave38 Columnists April 1, 2016

“While working at the wedding Saturday, one of my catering co-workers mentioned that he was recently out of a 13-year relationship. Another co-worker and I responded at the same time, with him saying, ‘I’m sorry,’ and me offering, ‘Congratulations!’” ment posts on social media, or the exaltation of monogamy that is embedded in the same-sex marriage movement and now its aftermath.

A friend of mine was recently admiring a tribute to one-half of a gay Atlanta power couple from his partner, which was indeed touching and inspiring. My friend characterized the lover’s testimonial as “a blueprint on how one should feel if you are truly engaged in a relationship/partnership/marriage.”

I worry about the detrimental side effects of this sentiment (which I believe is widespread in our community) on both the couple and their admirers. Managing a relationship is its own challenge, without having to bear the weight of a community’s romantic dreams and ideals.

And as I told my friend, “I think people, particularly this generation of gay men, find a lot of heartache and disappointment chasing the shoulds of relationships, letting their imaginations and other people’s expectations govern their emotions.”

While working at the wedding Saturday, one of my catering co-workers mentioned that he was recently out of a 13-year relationship. Another co-worker and I responded at the same time, with him saying, “I’m sorry,” and me offering, “Congratulations!”

Perhaps the day of bi-polar affairs had me confused about celebrating vs. condolences, or maybe being in such close proximity to happiness and sadness, but being apart from both, gave me the distance to view the occasions without the expected sentimentality.

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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