04/28/17, Vol. 8 Issue 5

May 12 - 14, 2017

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GEORGIANEWS

Georgia gay Republicans stick by Trump Supporters weigh in on anti-LGBT cabinet members, revocation of transgender bathroom directive

By ROBBIE MEDWED It’s been just over three months since Donald Trump became president of the United States. In that time, he nominated a cabinet full of secretaries with dubious anti-LGBT policies and rhetorical records, he rescinded guidance from the previous administration designed to keep transgender children safe in schools across the country and his administration has flirted with a larger, more damaging anti-LGBT “religious freedom” executive order that is constantly rumored to be in the works.

As news organizations across the world mark his administration’s first 100 days, we decided to do our own check-in on his progress. In June 2016, we spoke with two gay Trump supporters, retired meteorologist Arch Kennedy and college student Avery Anderson. We recently followed up with the two to gauge their reactions and hear their opinions.

‘I am completely behind him’ When we spoke with Kennedy in June, he celebrated Donald Trump’s populism, a trait he’s still proud of today.

“He is not establishment,” Kennedy said.

“He won because the people are not being represented. We have career politicians that are not in touch with their constituents. He is a winner in business and he gets things done.”

Those things he’s gotten done include appointing and confirming Neil Gorsuch as an associate justice of the Supreme Court and renewing the efforts to build the Keystone XL Pipeline, for example.

Anderson was also appreciative of Trump’s populist approach.

“What drew me to Donald Trump was the ‘loose cannon’ attitude he brought to the election,” said Anderson, an alternate delegate at last year’s Republican National Convention.

“Considering we’ve had the same style of politicians for the past 50-plus years, it was refreshing to see someone bring a sense of pride in this country back to the game.” www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Arch Kennedy (l) and Avery Anderson continue to support President Trump on most issues, but they disagree with each other on the revocation of President Obama’s transgender bathroom directive. (Courtesy photos)

“I really don’t care. Trump has continued to show his support for the gay community. He is the first president to be fine with gay marriage [at the time of his election]. Gays can marry now and that is not going to change or be reversed. Let’s move on to actual serious issues that affect all Americans.”

—Arch Kennedy on Trump appointment of anti-LGBT cabinet members When it comes to the administration’s efforts to ban refugees and travelers from specific Muslim-majority countries, both Kennedy and Anderson are supportive of the steps the administration has taken.

“I am completely behind him,” Kennedy confirmed. “I have studied Islam for over two years and followed Islamic terrorism just as long. He is doing what he needs to do to keep us safe.”

The Trump administration’s efforts were thwarted twice by federal courts that ruled the executive orders were illegal.

Differing opinions on trans bathroom directive Many in the LGBT community point to Trump’s cabinet as evidence of possible anti-LGBT sentiment, but Kennedy is unfazed, if not in full disagreement, with those who would make such a claim.

“I really don’t care,” he said. “Trump has continued to show his support for the gay community. He is the first president to be fine with gay marriage [at the time of his election].

Gays can marry now and that is not going to change or be reversed. Let’s move on to actual serious issues that affect all Americans.”

Anderson disagrees with Trump’s choice of nominees not because of their anti-LGBT histories, but because they may not be the most qualified.

“I think the last thing the United States needs is a group of former CEOs and special interest leads being in charge of the people,” he said.

Perhaps more as a nod to age and community influences, Anderson focused on the entire LGBT community while Kennedy focused specifically on the gay community. The two diverged most strikingly when discussing the administrations withdrawal of guidance on keeping transgender children safe in pub-

lic schools – though for different reasons.

Anderson leans libertarian in his approach. “[It] should never have been an argument,” he said. “Yes, I believe we have plenty of room for all Americans regardless of your status, but I do think we can go about this in different ways than restricting someone’s bathroom use or even letting folks go wherever they please. My university has a gender neutral bathroom system which allows folks to use the facilities they want.

If a transgender student wishes to use the male or female restroom [based on identification], then sure they can, but we have alternative options to make sure they are accommodated.”

Conversely, Kennedy expressed his full-throated support for the Trump administration’s revocation, saying, “It is very simple.

If you have man parts, you use the men’s room and locker. If you have female sexual parts, you use the women’s locker room. It isn’t fair to put kids in this situation for a portion of population that isn’t even 1 percent. Once you get the sex change, then you are golden. This does not even deserve to be a political issue.“ According to a 2010 study by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the majority of transgender people forego surgical intervention when transitioning, and surgical intervention is not a typical form of transition for children or teenagers.

Syria attacks, college reform Neither man is willing to write Trump a blank check though. Kennedy disagrees with the administration’s recent attacks on Syria, believing the US has no place in the Middle East, save for its alliance with Israel and its sanctions on Iran.

For his part, Anderson hopes Trump turns his attention toward education.

“We need a serious investigation into the public university system and to understand exactly where funds are being sent, how tuition is being processed, who the universities are hiring on to their staff and why students are now left with a sense of apathy,” he said. “If we ever expect to ‘Make America Great Again,’ then we need to start making America great by helping our youth with college reform, getting them the education they’ve paid for and having them understand the value of a higher education.”

April 28, 2017 News 3

GEORGIANEWS

Georgia LGBT students honored at Lavender Graduations Ceremonies celebrate accomplishments of out seniors, graduate students

By DALLAS ANNE DUNCAN dduncan@thegavoice.com Each year, thousands of Georgia college students don caps and gowns, preparing to enter the hallowed life phase of “adult.”

Many of these students are honored through their individual schools, athletic departments and organizations they’re part of.

And at four Georgia institutions, LGBT graduates are recognized through Lavender Graduation.

“LGBT graduates typically have had to face additional obstacles and unique barriers to completing their college degree or their graduate degree. They may have faced challenges with friends and family not accepting them, homelessness, mental health concerns, just the difficulty of figuring out who you are as a person with a minority identity,” said Aby Parsons, the director of Georgia Tech’s LGBTQIA Resource Center.

Lavender Graduations began in the mid90s at the University of Michigan as a way to congratulate students for overcoming those challenges, plus the obstacles of obtaining a college degree in the first place. In the Peach State, the ceremonies are held at Georgia Institute of Technology and Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia College and State University in Milledgeville and University of Georgia in Athens.

“I think it’s a very nice way to build a sense of community and celebrate the accomplishments of the people around you,” said Hobie Hunter, a gay senior economics and history double-major from Boca Raton, Florida, who went through Emory’s ceremony in March. “I think it’s also about honoring LGBT Emory students in the past.

Lavender Graduations began because queer students didn’t feel safe, and thankfully that’s no longer the case.”

Lavender Graduations — or LavGrad, as they’re sometimes referred to — show students how grateful a university community is for their contribution, Parsons said.

Left: Milton James, a sixth-year industrial and systems engineering major at Georgia Tech, holds his commemorative diploma after the university’s 2017 Lavender Graduation, a special celebration honoring LGBT graduates. (Courtesy photo). Right: Emory University 2017 lavender graduates received a diploma along with rainbow cords. (Courtesy photo)

Depending on the year, the number of lavender graduates ranges from a dozen to more than 30 at each university, and the audience of families, partners, community supporters, friends and faculty grows every year.

Queer visibility through graduation regalia Milton James, a gay sixth-year industrial and systems engineering major from Washington, Georgia, went through Tech’s LavGrad earlier this month.

“It was time for me to be more open and show people, you can do this and you can graduate,” James said. “It was really cool to notify people we’re not only graduating, we’re thriving and doing great things. … It’s like almost any other organization would have a salute to grads, this is a salute to LGBT grads.”

He said underclassmen should consider attending to watch and learn from returning alumni and to hear the career plans of each year’s graduates — including LGBT

students going on to pursue jobs with NASA and consulting firms, as was his experience.

At UGA, graduates receive rainbow stoles, and Emory graduates receive both a lavender diploma and rainbow cords, which can be worn during students’ main graduation at the end of the semester.

“We’re not allowed to do that here. Tech has rules around who can wear what,” Parsons said. “We do give out a lavender diploma, which is a keepsake certificate that the dean of students signs. It’s more of a memento they can keep and frame.”

Both Tech and Emory roll their LavGrad festivities into an awards ceremony.

“As part of that awards ceremony, there was a recognition of people who were graduating from Emory,” said Danielle Steele, interim director for Emory’s Office of LGBT Life. “This is for LGBT or queer folks on campus who want to receive this honor.”

She said Lavender Graduation is something students look forward to, even those who may

not have been very involved or connected with the university’s LGBT community.

Leaving a lavender legacy For universities that want to start their own Lavender Graduation, Parsons advised getting buy-in from supportive departments and community sponsors.

“They want to demonstrate they’re an inclusive or welcoming school or college,” she said. “Invite the president of the institution, or a really well-respected member of senior leadership to give a lavender commencement address or keynote. It shows students that the institution takes their community seriously and wants to celebrate with them.”

Lavender Graduations don’t have to be fancy and institutionalized, Hunter said. He said it would be easy for a college to start its own small-scale Lavender Graduation — all it takes is someone to make the diplomas and some space on the quad to meet.

4 News April 28, 2017 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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NEWSBRIEFS Joan Garner dies after cancer battle Fulton County Commission Vice Chair Joan Garner died April 18 after a battle with breast cancer. Garner was the first openly gay Fulton County Commissioner, representing District 4, which includes Midtown and neighborhoods west of downtown Atlanta to Fulton Industrial Boulevard. Her wife was Fulton County State Court Judge Jane Morrison.

Tributes began to pour in from around the city as news of her death spread, with politicians, activists and other community members mourning her passing.

Garner, a Washington, DC native, moved to Atlanta in 1978. She was the co-founder in 1993 of Southerners On New Ground, a grassroots organization that works at the intersections of race, class, sexuality and gender. She also served on the boards of Lambda Legal and the Atlanta BeltLine, among many others.

Upon taking office in 2011, Garner called the inauguration “a realization of a lifelong quest for inclusion.”

She also recalled the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., saying she remembered angry, grieving people taking to the streets in protest.

“From that day forward I took up the mantle of social justice as my own,” she said.

“Those days shaped me, they inspired me to pursue a life of social justice. It is what drives me and my decisions every day. My career choice in nonprofit philanthropy, my activist work in the civil rights movement, the movements of women’s equality and for gay rights.”

A memorial service for Garner will take place May 6 at 3 p.m. at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Sweet Auburn, with a reception to follow at a location to be determined.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the Joan P. Garner Health & Human Services Internship. Donations may be sent to ACCG Civic Affairs Foundation, 191 Peachtree St. N.E., Suite 700, Atlanta, GA 30303. They ask that people write “Joan Garner Internship” in the memo line.

Macon-Bibb commission approves LGBT civil rights ordinance The Macon-Bibb County Commission approved an LGBT civil rights ordinance on April 18, voting six to three to change

Joan Garner on the day of the Supreme Court decision on marriage equality in June 2015. Garner died on April 18 after a battle with breast cancer. (File photo)

the county charter so that the county cannot prevent someone from being promoted or hired because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Since the ordinance deals with changing the county charter, it has one more hurdle to go as the full commission meets again for a final vote on the measure on May 2.

13WMAZ reported that more than 200 people gathered for the vote, like LGBT activist Bentley Hudgins, who told Georgia Voice that he worked with Commissioner Larry Schlesinger on the ordinance and helped organize a public response to it.

Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham called on the commission to seal the deal.

“We’re very pleased to see the Bibb commission move toward protecting LGBT employees against discrimination and hope that they will vote decisively on May 2 to ensure that all employees are offered the same level of protection in the workplace,” Graham told Georgia Voice. “It has also been wonderful to see how engaged the local community is on ensuring that all LGBT folks are protected against discrimination.”

LGBT Atlanta rallies against anti-gay Chechnya purge Around 100 people gathered at the corner of 10th Street and Piedmont Avenue for a candlelight vigil and protest on April 18 in response to reports of an anti-gay purge

in Chechnya.

Russian newspaper Navaya Gazeta broke the story on April 1, reporting that there had been a “prophylactic sweep” of men “in connection with their non-traditional sexual orientation, or suspicion of such” by authorities in Chechnya, and that at least three of the arrests had reportedly resulted in murder.

The incidents led to condemnation across the world, including from US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley.

Rabbi Josh Lesser of Congregation Bet Haverim pointed out to the crowd that the regime in Chechnya is a religious one, and how that can be triggering Rabbi Josh Lesser to many.

“That’s why it’s really important for us to find each other so that we’re not alone in hearing these stories and to understand that we have power, and that the light is not only to bring attention and memory, but to also remind us that we have light to bring into this world,” Lesser said. “That there are ways that our actions are powerful. And that when we feel alone and we think about the times when we were victims, that there’s strength in numbers and strength in community and that we have possibility to make change.”

6 News April 28, 2017 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Outspoken PO Box 77401 • Atlanta, GA 30357 P: 404-815-6941; F: 404-963-6365

EDITORIAL

Editor: Patrick Saunders psaunders@thegavoice.com Deputy Editor: Dallas Anne Duncan dduncan@thegavoice.com Editorial Contributors: Ashleigh Atwell, Cliff Bostock, Melissa Carter, Jim Farmer, Shannon Hames, Ryan Lee, Robbie Medwed, Matt Schafer, Dionne N. Walker, Simon Williamson

PRODUCTION

Art Director: Rob Boeger rboeger@thegavoice.com

BUSINESS

Managing Partner/Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com

SALES

Sales Executive: Dixon Taylor dtaylor@thegavoice.com Business Advisor: Lynn Pasqualetti Financial Firm of Record: HLM Financial Group National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com Publisher Emeritus: Chris Cash

FINE PRINT

All material in Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied.

The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons.

We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request.

A single copy of Georgia Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year. Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to Georgia Voice, PO Box 77401, Atlanta, GA 30357. Georgia Voice is published every other Friday by The Georgia Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices.

The editorial positions of Georgia Voice are expressed in editorials and in editor’s notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Georgia Voice and its staff.

To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Email submissions to editor@thegavoice.com or mail to the address above.

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8 Outspoken April 28, 2017

Giving voice to the locals

BY PATRICK SAUNDERS psaunders@thegavoice.com

“One of the services that Georgia Voice provides to the community is giving exposure to those that need a bigger spotlight.”

We talk about you constantly.

It’s true, but before you back away slowly from your screen/newspaper and run out of the room to file a restraining order, let me explain.

The Georgia Voice team is always talking about you, our readers, about what you want – what you’re looking for, what you want more of, what you want less of. Those conversations help frame our coverage online, in print and on social media.

That being said, you might notice some changes that took place. We decided to drop a syndicated content service we’ve been using for quite some time now. The service provided big-name celebrity interviews, the Creep of the Week column and (as our print readers know) an editorial cartoon. To any of you who will miss those features, we apologize, but there are major benefits.

One of the services that Georgia Voice provides to the community is giving exposure to those that need a bigger spotlight.

The celebrity interview typically ran as the main feature in our A&E section of the print edition, so with this move, we’ll be able to feature more local people in that spot. That means any of you singers, dancers, artists, actors, authors, filmmakers and others in the A&E world in Georgia, we want to hear from you. Email me at editor@thegavoice. com and tell me what you have going on so we can look into getting you some coverage.

We will still occasionally have a celebrity interview, but the opportunities for local A&E

coverage have never been greater.

This move will also allow us to use more local writers to create the stories that you read. Plus, we’re considering adding a new editorial columnist at some point. So to all you writers out there, email me and include two or three clips so we can talk about you getting started freelancing for us.

And with that, we’d like to introduce you to Ajmal Millar. He’s the first local A&E figure to grace the cover of that section since we made this change. Read about his debut solo art show coming up tonight and find out what inspires him as an artist.

As for what else to look out for, it’s our annual We Are Family issue! We’ve got the scoop on a new support group for LGBT families, plus LGBT seniors’ blistering response to the Trump administration removing them from an important government survey and a look at the surrogacy process.

Also meet Adam McCabe, the Atlanta semi-pro soccer player who just came out and is embracing his new status as a role model.

Plus we’ve got two juicy news stories on Georgia’s gay Republicans sticking by President Trump 100 days in and on local Lavender Graduations – if you haven’t heard the term, you must find out!

And as always, enjoy our amazing columnists sounding off on politics, their personal lives, food and theater.

We hope you like the changes, so let us know!

FEEDBACK Re: “Joan Garner, first openly gay Fulton County Commissioner, dies after cancer battle,” April 18 “RIP Joan! Sending healing thoughts and prayers to Joan and Jane’s family.”

-Lisa Warrick via Facebook “Rest In Peace #JoanGarner. You were such a smart, friendly woman.”

-@dani_tro via Twitter “Prayers of rest for Joan and peace for Jane, two women of grace and service.”

-Marykay Mentzer via Facebook “Joan was one of the best! She will be greatly missed. RIP!” -Isabelle Bagshaw via Facebook “Rest easy and thank you.”

-Valerie Ballew via Facebook “So sad to hear the loss of @commjoangarner … You will be greatly missed.”

-Eshé Collins via Twitter Re: “LGBT Atlanta theater group under fire for gay versions of Bible stories,” April 20 “Oh golly gee! And those ‘straights’ don’t seem to have a problem treating the LGBT citizens with the same sense in real life with the continual typecasting and stereotyping, and doing so on stage or film is not a valid reason or bad excuse to continue doing so, so get over it!”

-William E. Chappell III via Facebook “Thank you. Will definitely be buying tickets!”

-@WiseOldQueen via Twitter “Tickets bought. Looking forward to a nice dinner, show with friends and an evening out.”

-Sandy Miller via Facebook Want to be featured in Feedback? Leave a comment to a story via social media or on our website, or email editor@thegavoice.com with the subject line “Feedback.” www.thegeorgiavoice.com

IN THE MARGINS

By Ashleigh Atwell

Letting go of lesbian Ashleigh Atwell is a queer lesbian writer and organizer born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia.

When I came out almost five years ago, I thought that would be the end of my confusion about my sexuality. I believed everything was cut and dry: either you were gay, lesbian, straight or bisexual. I figured all I had to do was pick one and live happily ever after.

I’ve realized that it isn’t so simple.

Within those five years, the LGBTQ community and how we identify ourselves has changed immensely. That acronym is a miniscule sample of our diversity. It isn’t a measure of being attracted to men, women or both because the way we look at gender is constantly evolving and everyone is pret-

ty dang sexy.

That leaves me considering and reconsidering how I see myself. I am comfortable saying that I am overwhelmingly attracted to women, regardless if they are cisgender or transgender. I love everything about them even when they drive me up a wall and back down again. If I have to quantify it, I’d say my attraction to women is somewhere around 90 percent, 9 percent would be for my non-binary baes and that 1 percent would be for Mahershala Ali, Trevante Rhodes and the occasional instance I find cisgender men attractive. Some people would call me bisexual and others might

“Some people would call me bisexual and others might suggest pansexual, but I don’t feel comfortable using either label. I acknowledge that it might be some internalized biphobia that I need to work out, but even then, it just doesn’t feel right.” suggest pansexual, but I don’t feel comfortable using either label. I acknowledge that it might be some internalized biphobia that I need to work out, but even then, it just doesn’t feel right.

I’ve primarily identified as queer for a while now and I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable with that label too. Queer is supposed to be encompassing and fluid but there are times where I feel like it’s suffocating me. The LGBTQ community has always had an issue with beauty standards, and queer used to be the label that was above that, but now I’m not so sure. There are times where I feel stuck between two

communities, the mainstream LGBT and the alternative queers. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not queer enough because I don’t have pink hair, a septum ring or the right type of “creative.” Then, I’ll go into a mainstream space and feel like I’m too loud and too radical.

I’m at the point where I’m ready to reject labels because it’s too complicated and fraught with impossible standards. It’s exhausting. I hope we get to a point where people don’t have to work so hard to convey who they are and what they like.

As of now, the label that fits me best is Ashleigh.

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www.thegeorgiavoice.com

April 28, 2017 Outspoken 9

CATCHING UP WITH …

Georgia Revolution player Adam McCabe Atlanta semi-pro soccer player embraces being role model after penning coming out essay

By DIONNE WALKER When Adam McCabe, a midfielder for our very own semi-pro soccer team The Georgia Revolution FC, took the field earlier this month, he did so as a renewed man. For one, he’ll have a boyfriend cheering him on.

He’ll have the satisfaction of a blossoming sales career off the field. But best of all, he’ll be able to take pride in the knowledge that as an out athlete, he’s setting an example for fans looking to see someone like themselves in the athletic spotlight.

The Atlanta-born, Tallahasee, Floridaraised former overseas professional player joined the wave of out athletes, coming out in a poignant first-person essay published online this past December. In it, he detailed years of confusion and isolation as he struggled to balance the first love of his life – soccer – with his burgeoning identity as a gay man.

“It was a mix of me trying to define myself even further – yeah I played soccer and I had a full-time job and I had my boyfriend.

Life is great – but there’s got to be more,” McCabe said of his decision to come out. “I thought, ‘How can I impact Atlanta? How can I impact my community?’”

It was a 180-degree shift for McCabe, who spent two decades hiding in the super-macho arena of pro soccer. That world, he said, consisted of hetero-focused locker room banter and anti-gay jokes that made it very clear he was not in a safe space to be out and proud – especially when he was playing in Europe.

The pressure of hiding eventually got to him: In March 2015, after stints in England, Thailand and Slovakia, McCabe became disillusioned with the game and moved back to the states, landing in Atlanta. It was here, while playing on a local team, that McCabe made peace with his identity and decided to make his sexuality public.

Now, in addition to soccer player and blossoming LGBT advocate, McCabe, 25, is proud to add role model to his resume.

“I just thought, if the 19- or 20-year-old Adam had someone he could have reached out to about being gay, I think I would still be playing professionally overseas,” he said.

“I thought, I didn’t really have that person, maybe I can be that person.”

Life has to be pretty busy for you right now. What do your days look like?

I’m working full-time for Hershey’s Chocolate, in sales and merchandising in the healthy snacking division. Georgia Revolution just started back up, so now until August, I’ll be playing with them. I’m also doing some travel to Israel.

This is in addition to some work you’re doing in the LGBT community?

I’m part of Rainbros, an LGBT peer mentoring group, helping in the health and fitness element. My other project concerns the Atlanta United MLS [Major League Soccer] team here.

I went to the first game with my boyfriend and there was a lot of homophobic language said by our fans. I’m in the final processes of writing an article about my experience as an LGBT fan at the games and how there’s still mountains to climb in Major League Soccer. I’m writing this article in part to reach out to Atlanta United to see if they can consider a Pride night.

Take me back to where you started – how did you get to this point?

Growing up, I was accustomed to homosexuality being looked down upon, so for me, the focus was all on soccer. I never really dated much. Then, when I went to a liberal arts school [Vassar College] and started getting hit on by guys, I realized I liked it. It scared me in a sense, so when I left to go play

Adam McCabe, 25, started playing for the Georgia Revolution FC earlier this month.

(Courtesy photo)

professional soccer overseas in England, part of it was running away from my sexuality.

When one thinks of super macho sports, soccer doesn’t first come to mind.

Is it truly that heteronormative of a sport?

In Europe, it’s seen as more macho. I was in England, which is one of the harshest and most macho countries for soccer. It’s known for being very physical and in your face. I definitely didn’t feel I could tell anyone just because of the way my teammates and coaches spoke.

You played from 2011 to 2014 before an injury ended your time in England, but you went on to play in other countries.

Was the environment for gays any better?

I went to Thailand and played for a few months, then to Slovakia. I was kind of searching for a place where I could be myself and be out and open and play professional soccer.

But I kept on finding myself even more locked away. In Slovakia, I hit a breaking point. I lost my love for soccer. All I was thinking was, am I gonna be closeted my whole life?

That led you back to Atlanta, where

you had your lightbulb moment?

I was tired of 23 years of not being honest with myself. I met my boyfriend and he was great about letting me find out who I am. I started playing soccer again and was approached about playing for a team down in McDonough [The Georgia Revolution]. I started feeling more comfortable with myself and was ready to give back to the community.

Why do you think so many athletes are hesitant to come out?

The reality is a gay athlete still knows that even though people say they wouldn’t have an issue with it, there still is this huge unknown.

There’s so much media attention that would come with coming out – that scares so many players from doing it in their prime.

What, then, has made it worthwhile for you?

I’ve had one professional athlete come out to me right before I came out and also have heard from people across the US telling me I’m giving them courage. It’s nice to know that you can kind of help people but also give them some hope for their future.

10 Community April 28, 2017 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

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LGBT FAMILY SURROGACY

The cost of starting a family Insurance may not always cover IVF, surrogacy procedures for LGBT couples

Details

By DALLAS ANNE DUNCAN dduncan@thegavoice.com

IVF — $10,000 for medical services, plus $3,000 to $6,000 for medication

Average cost comparison of medical fertility treatments IUI — $1,800 for medical services, plus additional cost of medication

Surrogacy — $35,000 for medical services and donor compensation

Starting a family isn’t always easy, and for many LGBT parents, the options are pricey and usually involve at least one medical procedure.

The most common forms of fertility treatments for same-sex couples are in-vivo or in-vitro fertilization, said Brenda Messick, chief administrative officer for Atlanta-based Georgia Reproductive Specialists. The in-vivo procedure is called intrauterine insemination, and places donor sperm inside a woman’s uterus. In-vitro, which means “outside the dish” — or womb, in this case — fertilization requires stimulation of the ovaries for multiple eggs to be removed, then fertilized with sperm.

“The embryos are cultured for about five days, and then an embryo is placed in a catheter and the patient comes back in for an embryo transfer,” Messick said.

IVF is a popular choice among same-sex female couples, especially since one partner can donate the egg and the other carry the fetus. It’s also an option for same-sex male couples, but that gets a little more complicated.

“They have to use an egg donor and a gestational carrier,” Messick said.

Selecting surrogacy “Why can’t the egg donor carry the baby? … You can’t do that from a legal perspective,” Messick said. “That is what we used to refer to as traditional surrogacy, and that is no longer legal in most states, or advisable in most states.”

That’s due in part to the case of Baby M. In the late 1980s, a couple opted for traditional surrogacy. They found a woman to donate her eggs and carry the pregnancy.

Halfway through, the surrogate bonded with the developing fetus and decided to keep the baby when it was born. Because it was her egg that fertilized the fetus, she had parental

as far as I know, cover those services.”

LGBT couples that cannot conceive naturally have a variety of medically assisted options available to become parents. (Photo via iStock)

rights allowing her to make that decision.

“She won custody of the baby,” Messick said. “The provider of the eggs and the host uterus cannot be the same person, because it’s too difficult legally to determine parentage.”

Now, parents-to-be don’t have to worry about that happening to them, though, she assured Georgia Voice, but they do have to go through a lot of paperwork before pursuing surrogacy, ensuring both partners establish parenting rights. Messick said her clinic

won’t move forward with medical proceedings until all the Ts are crossed and Is dotted.

She said many surrogates also have contracts parents must sign.

“Oftentimes, the [parents-to-be] pay for all of the expenses related to this process, and it’s not just medical expenses during IVF. It’s medical expenses throughout the pregnancy, and childcare and food and there’s a lot of aspects to that gestational carrier relationship with the intended parent,” Messick said. “It can be very expensive and insurance in any state does not,

Ins and outs of IVF insurance Depending on the insurance provider, Messick said IVF procedures and occasionally the cost of the egg donor will be covered for families pursuing surrogacy.

“There are nine or 10 states in the US that have what’s called ‘mandated coverage,’ where everybody has at least a basic IVF coverage in their insurance plan. Georgia’s not one of those. In Georgia, it’s up to the employer group to purchase or provide to their employees what we call an infertility rider,” she said.

“It’s an add-on to a basic package to make it more rich at the cost of the employer.”

Messick said couples should contact their insurance carriers and ask specifically about infertility benefits.

“Some health plans are very specific, very clear and very transparent and they will say the most literal, we cover IVF for same-sex couples. It will come out and say it. Then some health plans will not come out and say it. You have to read between the lines, or you have to follow their restrictions,” she said.

For example, health insurance may cover IVF if a doctor diagnoses infertility, which means a woman is unable to achieve a successful pregnancy in a specified time frame.

Other insurance providers may offer coverage for patients who are exposed to sperm on a regular basis and do not become pregnant. And for male same-sex couples, they won’t have coverage for IVF with donor eggs unless their policy specifically states so — something Messick said may change if enough couples come to their employer and insurance provider asking for it.

12 We Are Family April 28, 2017 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

LGBT FAMILIES

Griffin woman starts ATL LGBT Families Meetup Group to host regular parent networking, family outings

By DALLAS ANNE DUNCAN dduncan@thegavoice.com Toniqua Ward searched and searched for a support group of LGBT parents in the Atlanta area. She found plenty of opportunities for singles, couples and youths, but none was exactly what she was looking for.

So she created her own.

Ward launched the Atlanta LGBT Families Meetup on April 22, and has big plans for how the group will evolve.

“A lot of people really wanted the idea,” Ward said. “Everything happened so fast, but I’m glad that it happened. I’m glad that a lot of people are wanting to join. We’re connecting to a lot of LGBT families. We have a lot of people who don’t have kids, who maybe just got married, who want to come in and sit in and see what it’s like to have kids.”

The group will meet twice a month. One meeting will be for parents, and one more of a family outing — including hopefully a Disney cruise as the group grows. With so many types of parents and ages of children represented in the membership already, Ward thinks there will be plenty to do and to talk about.

Meeting with like minds Ward and her partner, Japera Ferrell, live in Griffin with Ferrell’s two daughters from a previous marriage, Jayde and Ayumi Anderson.

“When I met my girlfriend, the kids were probably about 6 or 7,” Ward said. “They were real quiet at first, but over time they got used to me and now they call me ‘mom.’

Their dad is present in their lives … I have a good relationship with him as well.”

Jayde and Ayumi’s father is also gay — he and Ferrell came out to one another, something Ward said they all laugh about.

She said the girls don’t fully understand the purpose of the group, which is organized through the Meetup social media website, but are excited to meet with children who also have LGBT parents.

Though the Meetup group will be the www.thegeorgiavoice.com

“Our kids really need to see their families reflected in the public sphere around them, and not just in the private sphere around their home.”

—Polly Pagenhart, director of policy and communications for Our Family Coalition, on the importance of LGBT family support groups only such family group in Atlanta, other areas around the country have had LGBT family support groups for decades.

“The notion of family remains fairly nuclear and heterosexual, even though that type of family is the minority of the total families in America,” said Polly Pagenhart, director of policy and communications for the San Francisco, California-based Our Family Coalition.

“Twenty percent of American families are a man, a woman; they both biologically are responsible for the child and no one is divorced or blended from a previous coupling.”

That notion means “there’s just not any visibility for queer families,” said Pagenhart, who uses they/them/their pronouns.

“It’s really hard to find a place where you can be a queer parent or a queer caregiver around others who understand,” they said.

“Most people will assume anyone holding a child is straight. If you’re not with your partner and not lip-locked, you’re going to be presumed as straight more often than you’d like.”

Our Family Coalition hosts a number of

Toniqua Ward (front, left) launched the Atlanta LGBT Families Meetup for family units like hers to network and socialize. Ward, pictured here at the University of Georgia-Griffin campus research and education gardens, lives with her blended family of girlfriend Japera Ferrell and Ferrell’s two daughters, Ayumi and Jayde Anderson. (Photo by Dallas Anne Duncan)

workshops and events for parents, and childcare is always provided. The organization also puts together opportunities for families to gather together, and Pagenhart said Ward’s desire to do the same is spot-on.

A place to feel normal “Our kids really need to see their families reflected in the public sphere around them, and not just in the private sphere around their home,” Pagenhart said. “For our kids … it’s really going to be big for them to be at the zoo, this completely ordinary place, to see those two dads — and they have two dads.”

That was the exact thing that inspired Ward to form the Meetup after her ongoing search for an existing family group.

“We went to the mall one day and [Ayumi]

saw a lesbian couple. She was like, ‘Look, you’re not the only ones!’ I know they would feel more comfortable being around kids that have two parents that are the same sex. They could talk to them and get comfortable,” Ward said.

Pagenhart said they applaud Ward for developing the Meetup. They called it a “huge service” to the metro Atlanta community, and a great way to pave the way for future generations.

“Having two parents of the same sex isn’t what society thinks is normal. Because it’s not ‘normal,’ a lot of kids may feel like they’re different. They may feel like they’re getting teased,” Ward said. “We need to be amongst each other so the kids know there’s nothing different, just because you have two moms or two dads or your mom or dad may be transgender. It doesn’t matter. You’re still loved, and can’t no one else take that from you.”

April 28, 2017 We Are Family 13

What is TRUVADA for PrEP (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis)?

TRUVADA is a prescription medicine that can be used for PrEP to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection when used together with safer sex practices. This use is only for adults who are at high risk of getting HIV-1 through sex. This includes HIV-negative men who have sex with men and who are at high risk of getting infected with HIV-1 through sex, and male-female sex partners when one partner has HIV-1 infection and the other does not.

Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to prevent getting HIV-1.

Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION What is the most important information I should know about TRUVADA for PrEP? Before taking TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: u You must be HIV-negative. You must get tested to make sure that you do not already have HIV-1 infection. Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 unless you are confirmed to be HIV-negative. u Many HIV-1 tests can miss HIV-1 infection in a person who has recently become infected. If you have flu-like symptoms, you could have recently become infected with HIV-1. Tell your healthcare provider if you had a flu-like illness within the last month before starting TRUVADA for PrEP or at any time while taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Symptoms of new HIV-1 infection include tiredness, fever, joint or muscle aches, headache, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, night sweats, and/or enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin.

While taking TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: u You must continue using safer sex practices. Just taking TRUVADA for PrEP may not keep you from getting HIV-1. u You must stay HIV-negative to keep taking TRUVADA for PrEP. u To further help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1: • Know your HIV-1 status and the HIV-1 status of your partners.

• Get tested for HIV-1 at least every 3 months or when your healthcare provider tells you.

• Get tested for other sexually transmitted infections. Other infections make it easier for HIV-1 to infect you.

• Get information and support to help reduce risky sexual behavior.

• Have fewer sex partners.

• Do not miss any doses of TRUVADA. Missing doses may increase your risk of getting HIV-1 infection.

• If you think you were exposed to HIV-1, tell your healthcare provider right away. u If you do become HIV-1 positive, you need more medicine than TRUVADA alone to treat HIV-1. TRUVADA by itself is not a complete treatment for HIV-1.

If you have HIV-1 and take only TRUVADA, your HIV-1 may become harder to treat over time.

TRUVADA can cause serious side effects: u Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, nausea, vomiting, stomach-area pain, cold or blue hands and feet, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or fast or abnormal heartbeats. u Serious liver problems. Your liver may become large and tender, and you may develop fat in your liver. Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach-area pain. u You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking TRUVADA for a long time. In some cases, these serious conditions have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions.

u Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you also have HBV and take TRUVADA, your hepatitis may become worse if you stop taking TRUVADA. Do not stop taking TRUVADA without first talking to your healthcare provider. If your healthcare provider tells you to stop taking TRUVADA, they will need to watch you closely for several months to monitor your health. TRUVADA is not approved for the treatment of HBV.

Who should not take TRUVADA for PrEP? Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP if you already have HIV-1 infection or if you do not know your HIV-1 status. If you are HIV-1 positive, you need to take other medicines with TRUVADA to treat HIV-1. TRUVADA by itself is not a complete treatment for HIV-1. If you have HIV-1 and take only TRUVADA, your HIV-1 may become harder to treat over time.

Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP if you also take lamivudine (Epivir-HBV) or adefovir (HEPSERA).

What are the other possible side effects of TRUVADA for PrEP? Serious side effects of TRUVADA may also include: u Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider may do blood tests to check your kidneys before and during treatment with TRUVADA for PrEP. If you develop kidney problems, your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking TRUVADA for PrEP. u Bone problems, including bone pain or bones getting soft or thin, may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones. u Changes in body fat, which can happen in people taking TRUVADA or medicines like TRUVADA. Common side effects in people taking TRUVADA for PrEP are stomach-area (abdomen) pain, headache, and decreased weight. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or do not go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking TRUVADA for PrEP? u All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection. u If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if TRUVADA can harm your unborn baby. If you become pregnant while taking TRUVADA for PrEP, talk to your healthcare provider to decide if you should keep taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Pregnancy Registry: A pregnancy registry collects information about your health and the health of your baby. There is a pregnancy registry for women who take medicines to prevent HIV-1 during pregnancy. For more information about the registry and how it works, talk to your healthcare provider. u If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. The medicines in TRUVADA can pass to your baby in breast milk. If you become HIV-1 positive, HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. u All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. TRUVADA may interact with other medicines. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. u If you take certain other medicines with TRUVADA for PrEP, your healthcare provider may need to check you more often or change your dose. These medicines include ledipasvir with sofosbuvir (HARVONI).

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Important Facts about TRUVADA for PrEP including important warnings on the following page.

TVDC0084_B_10x10-5_GeorgiaVoice_p1.indd 1-2

Have you heard about

TRUVADA for PrEPTM? The once-daily prescription medicine that can help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 when used with safer sex practices.

• TRUVADA for PrEP is only for adults who are at high risk of getting HIV through sex.

• You must be HIV-negative before you start taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Ask your doctor about your risk of getting HIV-1 infection and if TRUVADA for PrEP may be right for you.

visit start.truvada.com

3/16/17 4:48 PM

IMPORTANT FACTS (tru-VAH-dah)

This is only a brief summary of important information about taking TRUVADA for PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. This does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your medicine.

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT TRUVADA FOR PrEP

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF TRUVADA FOR PrEP

Before starting TRUVADA for PrEP to help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: • You must be HIV-1 negative. You must get tested to make sure that you do not already have HIV-1 infection. Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 unless you are confirmed to be HIV-1 negative.

• Many HIV-1 tests can miss HIV-1 infection in a person who has recently become infected. Symptoms of new HIV-1 infection include flu-like symptoms, tiredness, fever, joint or muscle aches, headache, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, night sweats, and/or enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin. Tell your healthcare provider if you have had a flu-like illness within the last month before starting TRUVADA for PrEP. While taking TRUVADA for PrEP to help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: • You must continue using safer sex practices. Just taking TRUVADA for PrEP may not keep you from getting HIV-1.

• You must stay HIV-1 negative to keep taking TRUVADA for PrEP. • Tell your healthcare provider if you have a flu-like illness while taking TRUVADA for PrEP. • If you think you were exposed to HIV-1, tell your healthcare provider right away.

• If you do become HIV-1 positive, you need more medicine than TRUVADA alone to treat HIV-1. If you have HIV-1 and take only TRUVADA, your HIV-1 may become harder to treat over time.

• See the “How to Further Reduce Your Risk” section for more information.

TRUVADA can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “Most Important Information About TRUVADA for PrEP" section.

• New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure.

• Bone problems.

• Changes in body fat.

Common side effects in people taking TRUVADA for PrEP include stomacharea (abdomen) pain, headache, and decreased weight.

These are not all the possible side effects of TRUVADA. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with TRUVADA for PrEP.

TRUVADA may cause serious side effects, including: • Buildup of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, nausea, vomiting, stomach-area pain, cold or blue hands and feet, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or fast or abnormal heartbeats.

• Severe liver problems, which in some cases can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach-area pain.

• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you have HBV and take TRUVADA, your hepatitis may become worse if you stop taking TRUVADA. Do not stop taking TRUVADA without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight, or have been taking TRUVADA for a long time.

ABOUT TRUVADA FOR PrEP (PRE-EXPOSURE PROPHYLAXIS) TRUVADA is a prescription medicine used with safer sex practices for PrEP to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection in adults at high risk: • HIV-1 negative men who have sex with men and who are at high risk of getting infected with HIV-1 through sex.

• Male-female sex partners when one partner has HIV-1 infection and the other does not.

To help determine your risk, talk openly with your doctor about your sexual health.

Do NOT take TRUVADA for PrEP if you: • Already have HIV-1 infection or if you do not know your HIV-1 status.

• Take lamivudine (Epivir-HBV) or adefovir (HEPSERA).

TRUVADA, the TRUVADA Logo, TRUVADA FOR PREP, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and HEPSERA are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: April 2016 © 2017 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. TVDC0084 03/17

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BEFORE TAKING TRUVADA FOR PrEP Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or have had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

• Have any other medical conditions.

• Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

• Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you become HIV-1 positive because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

• Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with TRUVADA for PrEP.

HOW TO TAKE TRUVADA FOR PrEP • Take 1 tablet once a day, every day, not just when you think you have been exposed to HIV-1.

• Do not miss any doses. Missing doses may increase your risk of getting HIV-1 infection.

• You must practice safer sex by using condoms and you must stay HIV-1 negative.

HOW TO FURTHER REDUCE YOUR RISK • Know your HIV-1 status and the HIV-1 status of your partners.

• Get tested for HIV-1 at least every 3 months or when your healthcare provider tells you.

• Get tested for other sexually transmitted infections. Other infections make it easier for HIV-1 to infect you.

• Get information and support to help reduce risky sexual behavior.

• Have fewer sex partners.

• Do not share needles or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them.

GET MORE INFORMATION • This is only a brief summary of important information about TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more, including how to prevent HIV-1 infection.

• Go to start.truvada.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 • If you need help paying for your medicine, visit start.truvada.com for program information.

3/16/17 4:48 PM

SENIORS

LGBT seniors strike back at Trump SAGE launches blistering campaign in response to removal from survey

By ROBBIE MEDWED The federal government spends $2 billion on local elder services around the country, supporting senior center facilities, transportation assistance, meal delivery programs and many other crucial services, determined by the results of the National Survey of Older Americans Act Participants.

The annual survey determines the effectiveness of the programs and sets funding levels for the coming year. Since 2014, the survey included questions designed to push facilities and programs to become more welcoming for LGBT elders and their families.

This year, the Trump administration plans to remove those questions from the survey, which could spell disaster for local and national programs and facilities.

In response, Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) launched a blistering campaign against the Trump administration accusing it of wanting LGBT elders to “drop dead.”

“The Trump administration is trying to make gays invisible again. He is governing by tweet, executive order and a repugnant cabinet,” said Marilyn Harris, an active member of the Atlanta chapter of SAGE. “As an older lesbian, I was pretty much invisible already, but he is building a new closet around us.“ Michael Adams, SAGE CEO, was particularly frustrated by the secrecy with which the changes were made.

“There was no announcement at all,” he said. “The Trump administration essentially tried to do this in the dead of night, apparently hoping that nobody would notice.”

The changes were discovered by SAGE’s Federal Policy Office, which routinely monitors proposed policy changes.

“This stealth effort to eradicate an entire population of older people from this survey strongly suggests that the Trump administration simply doesn’t care about LGBT elders, which is outrageous and unacceptable,” Adams said. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

A group of SAGE Atlanta members. SAGE’s national campaign against the Trump administration accuses it of wanting LGBT elders to ‘drop dead.’ (Photo courtesy The Health Initiative)

“When you think about LGBT older people – those who have already been pushed to the sidelines and who often face discrimination in nursing homes, hospitals and out in the community – not being counted in this survey amounts to denying them the critical services they deserve.”

—SAGE CEO Michael Adams Campaign spurred more than 6,300 letters sent Without data to show how LGBT elders are affected by funding changes, they are effectively erased. The Atlanta-based Health Initiative works with Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) across the state to ensure LGBT elders are being cared for. Linda Ellis, executive director of The Health Initiative, said many of these facilities are guided by the requirements set forth in the grants and funding they receive.

“Ninety-nine percent of the service providers The Health Initiative works with across the state want to do the right thing, but if resources aren’t there, or if well-intentioned people aren’t forced to take these communities into account, we get lost,” she said. “Not because they want to do us harm, but because they won’t even know that we exist.”

SAGE’s campaign has spurred more more than 6,300 letters in opposition to the administration’s plan, but participants aren’t just writing.

“SAGE has been involved in policy advocacy for a long time, but historically we have

most often worked quietly behind the scenes to influence policy at the state and national levels,” Adams said.

With President Trump’s recent actions, SAGE and its members aren’t willing to keep their fights quiet anymore. Instead, many are returning to their roots.

“A group of us older lesbians have become activists again. We marched in Washington and here. We marched for science.

We have been demonstrating at Sen. [David] Perdue’s office on Tuesdays. We have been calling our senators and reps,” Harris said.

“Congress members have ignored us, their constituents, and refused to hold town hall meetings. They don’t care about anyone except billionaires and are intent on destroying safety nets for all of us.”

‘We’re being removed from the conversation’ In order to build local support and bridge the age gap, the national group is inviting communities to participate in SAGE Table, an intergenerational initiative where people of all ages will break bread together on May

18, running parallel to National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day on May 16.

Adams wants to ensure people know that the Trump administration’s actions will hurt the community on a very real level.

“When you think about LGBT older people – those who have already been pushed to the sidelines and who often face discrimination in nursing homes, hospitals and out in the community – not being counted in this survey amounts to denying them the critical services they deserve,” he said. “In fact, data from the survey consistently indicated that LGBT elders were not accessing federally funded elder services in anything close to their proportion of the population. That data has proved that the federal government has a lot of work to do to make sure that our elders get their fair share of taxpayer-funded services.”

Ellis is most worried about elder facilities in rural Georgia.

“As much work as we still have to do in Atlanta, we are light years ahead of where the rest of the state is. That’s where these losses will be hardest hit. We’re being removed from the conversation.”

April 28, 2017 We Are Family 19

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‘Mas’-ter in the Making Gay Atlanta artist Ajmal Millar unveils his vision in ‘Painted Bodies + Pholourie’ show

By RYAN LEE Walking the streets throughout the Caribbean island of Trinidad, it’s not uncommon to find women rolling split pea flour into golf ball-sized bulbs, frying them and serving with tamarind sauce to folks looking for a bite on-the-go. The uncomplicated street food, including the culture of its production and distribution, is one of the favorite tropical treats for Atlanta-based artist Ajmal Millar, who was born in New York to Trinidadian parents.

“The whole process is kind of raw, and it’s delicious,” said the openly gay Millar, who incorporates the tradition into his upcoming art show, “Painted Bodies + Pholourie,” which takes place at his family’s Caribbean restaurant, Calabash Alley, in Decatur April 28.

“I wanted to kind of invite people into my world, and I always kind of give remembrance to where I come from because it is a big part of what informs my work,” Millar said. “I honor my ancestors, so a large part of it is being proud of who I am and where it is I’m coming from.”

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18 A&E April 28, 2017

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The mixed-media art show, where folks will be able to taste pholourie and other Trinidadian favorites while DJ Enoch IS Real spins metaphysical beats, is the formal opening statement from a young artist who has been honing his voice since 2010. Millar, whose journey began in earnest when his art teacher at Decatur High School included his collage among student work displayed at a local Starbucks, has featured work in art shows across Atlanta and in New York, but “Painted Bodies + Pholourie” marks his first solo show.

While the recognition and acclaim he’s received might’ve opened doors at more traditional art venues, Millar says he’s hosting his debut show on Candler Road for the same reason he shouldn’t have to travel to Midtown for art supplies.

“Why don’t we have art places in the hood?” he asked. “Places like the hood, like Candler Road, and the Hood U.S.A., we need art spaces so we can beautify our neighborhoods, and teach our youth that art is a way to enjoy life and just share who they are, and it can also be a way to freedom. You never know who can be inspired.”

Path of an artist Millar’s family moved to metro Atlanta when he was 2 years old, but brought with them a part of Trinidadian culture that would become central to Millar’s life and art: Mas (pronounced as in “masquerade”), which is associated with Carnival.

“My grandmother and my mom, out of all of the family members [who moved to the U.S. from Trinidad], they were the ones that held on to the culture of mas, and my sister and I have been doing it ever since,” said Millar, who began creating Carnival costumes when he was 6 years old, and today is known as Mas Man in local Caribbean circles.

Millar tapped into his experience creating the intricate and oversized costumes during his free time as a student at Morehouse College, when he would design illusions and walk in gay balls as a member of the House of Balenciaga. He earned the inaugural scholarship awarded by the House of Blahnik, and through those connections secured a job at an LGBT health center in Buffalo, N.Y. In 2010, Millar bought some supplies from a Buffalo art store, began toying with a scrap of wood that was leftover from one of his house ball costumes, and created a piece that awakened his exploration of himself as an artist.

“It’s not much – it’s really just like an undulating line with tits,” Millar joked. “But www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Atlanta artist Ajmal Millar has his first solo art show April 28 at Calabash Alley Caribbean Restaurant in Decatur.

(Courtesy photos)

Details

“Painted Bodies + Pholourie” art show April 28, 7-11 p.m.

Calabash Alley Caribbean Restaurant 2122 Candler Road Decatur, GA 30032 www.facebook.com/ events/1399061566824325 that was it: from then on, every day after work, I would go to the gym and rush home after the gym to create.”

When Millar’s boss at the health center asked him how they could get their young clientele engaged with the nonprofit beyond just picking up condoms, Millar studied the CDC guidelines for prevention interventions and created an art therapy program.

The initiative was popular enough for the young artists to produce two shows, where their friends and family members were able to learn more of their perspective as young black gay men.

“Some of the stuff that came out of those teenagers – they were so brilliant,” Millar said with awe.

Millar soon returned to his city of birth,

where he eventually received a scholarship to participate in a program at the Art Students League of New York, got a temporary job at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and immersed himself in the art world.

“We basically talked about art all day, and I met a lot of people and got really inspired,” he said. “I started to go back to collage and get more into Romare Bearden, and that opened up doors to see other people I enjoyed and could be inspired by.”

Traveling through vaunted art galleries like the Guggenheim Museum, even while wearing a name tag from The Met, Millar often sensed that he was not supposed to be there, due both to his physical appearance, and the absence of art that reflected his culture and experience.

“We need to be more present in these spaces, physically, as people of color, and we also need to be on the walls more, not just in their collection where they pretty much collect things from around the world from all cultures,” Millar said. “That’s like the strongest representation you’ll see [of non-European art], but why not have more paintings of brown people on the wall to be seen?”

April 28, 2017 A&E 19

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Atlanta Opera’s ‘Turandot,’ 7 Stages’ ‘Queer Encounters’ on tap Atlanta Opera closes out its season this weekend with the beloved “Turandot.” It was the last opera that Giacomo Puccini worked on before he passed away in 1924, eventually finished a few years later by Franco Alfano.

“Turandot” is a large-scale production, with a cast and crew of more than 200 people. Set in China, it involves Prince Calaf, who falls in love with the icy Princess Turandot. In order to win her hand in marriage, he must solve three riddles. If he doesn’t solve them, he will die.

Marcy Stonikas plays the lead character.

Although she has played the role twice, this is her first time performing with the Atlanta Opera. Turandot believes she is the next person that will take the throne in her family.

Her father is getting old and she has suitors always knocking at the door. But she doesn’t necessarily want to get married.

“The character can be depicted as the ice princess, the black widow, but I think it is more than that,” Stonikas said. “She has never had a close relationship with anyone in general. It’s hard for her to know who to trust. She can be played two-dimensionally, but she is a real person. I think what I have figured out over time is about the nuance of playing her.”

Gianluca Terranova, who was involved with the company’s version of “La Boheme,” stars as Calaf, who he sees as a prince who has lost everything and wants to have his power back. The actor is a huge fan of Tomer Zvulun, the company’s general and artistic director since 2013.

“He supports me a lot,” Terranova said.

“Working with the company and staff has been a fantastic experience and opportunity.

They are very professional and the acoustics at the venue are wonderful.”

He believes that “Turandot” holds up because of its universality and “a lot of beautiful music inside.”

Playing the role of The Mandarin is Alan Higgs, who moved to Atlanta with his husband from Tallahassee three years ago. He is part of The Atlanta Opera’s Studio Artists program – younger performers who are still building their skills. In 2010 he was part of the chorus in a version of the show. “‘Turandot’ is very close to my heart and I have always wanted to do it again,” he said.

The Atlanta Opera’s ‘Turandot’ opens April 29 at Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre.

(Photo courtesy Atlanta Opera)

Details

“Turandot” April 29, May 2, 5 and 7 Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway Atlanta, GA 30339 www.cobbenergycentre.com “Curious Queer Encounters” May 4 – 14 7 Stages 1105 Euclid Ave. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30307 www.7stages.org

”It’s nice to do it here – this has become my home company.”

‘Queer Encounters’ at 7 Stages In other theater happenings, back this year at 7 Stages is the company’s “Curious Queer Encounters.” The event – now in its fourth year – is curated by Michael Haverty and is an interactive piece in which art is hidden around and outside the 7 Stages facility, with all sorts of moods and atmospheres. Haverty said it’s different every year depending on the visions of the involved parties.

An open call is placed every year for artists and this year’s slate involves Jared Dawson, Rebecca Makus, Jed Drummond, Jim Grimsley, Heidi S. Howard, Matthew Terrell, Jason Livingston, Jessica Unker and Corian Ellisor.

20 A&E April 28, 2017 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

EATING MY WORDS

By CLIFF BOSTOCK

Visiting bistro, cat cafe in Cabbagetown I don’t know what it is about living in Grant Park and Cabbagetown, but we residents seem to need a lot of coffee. There’s Octane, Grant Park Coffeehouse and Carroll Street Cafe. An additional two opened in the last month – Java Cats Cafe and Petit Chou.

The one getting the most press is Java Cats (415 Memorial Dr., 470-305-7575, javacatscafe.com). Located next to the popular Tin Lizzy’s Cantina, across from your future home in Oakland Cemetery, Java Cats combines a cat adoption center with a coffee shop. Cat cafes originated in Japan, where the kitties actually mingle with customers while they eat. American health regulations don’t permit that, so the cats occupy a separate room. You must ordinarily reserve an hour to visit the cat room and you’ll pay $10 per adult for the privilege of cuddling, scratching, sneezing and sipping complimentary coffee.

The cost might be prohibitive for polyamorous peeps, but it’s for a good cause.

The cafe teamed up with PAWS Atlanta, the no-kill shelter, to supply the would-be adoptees. It buys its pastries from Gathering Industries, which provides culinary training to homeless people, so they can get jobs.

I’ve visited Java Cats a couple of times and found the coffee superior to most around town. The barista made me a perfect cortada and doppio macchiato. I gotta say, though, if you plan to eat there, don’t expect much. There are some decent pastries by the register – cookies and a very good ham-andcheese scone I devoured during one visit.

Unfortunately, they had no way of heating the scone, but said that would soon be remedied. There are also pre-made wraps unappetizingly hidden in plastic containers in a refrigerator bin. I have not tried one. I can’t imagine eating a cold burrito.

The main appeal for the present is hanging with the kitties in a space whose walls are painted with huge cat heads that suggest “The Wizard of Oz.” It’s also cool that the beasts aren’t confined in cages and most of them seem more polite than my own two monsters. (It’s probably an act.) It’s also fun to hang out with other cat lovers, even if you don’t visit the windowed adoption room. www.thegeorgiavoice.com

A house-made biscuit split and layered with a poached egg, boursin cheese and a chicken sausage patty at Petit Chou.

(Photo by Cliff Bostock)

Just down the street is Petit Chou (662 Memorial Dr., 470-270-8996, petitchouatl. com). The name means “little cabbage.” The restaurant is in Cabbagetown. Get it?

This is not just a coffeehouse. It’s a fullservice restaurant open for breakfast and lunch only. I’ve only visited once. I love the ambiance.

The center of the space is a gigantic square bar.

Tables surround it. There’s also a patio.

In all honesty, my meal was little better than mediocre. My cortada here was watery and exceptionally bitter, compared to the same drink at Java Cats. The restaurant was participating in Creative Loafing and Georgia Beef Board’s ATL Burger Week. I ordered theirs – a slider with goat cheese, a dollop of salsa and some arugula. The meat was supposed to be flavored with black truffle oil. I only got the vaguest aftertaste of that. Moreover, the whole thing was unbelievably dry, in desperate need of moisture. I also ordered a house-made biscuit split and layered with a poached egg, boursin cheese and a chicken sausage patty. The biscuit itself was big, fluffy and crumbly. But the same problem arose. The yolk on the egg was overcooked so, again, there was inadequate moisture.

I have no doubt it will improve. Why not visit both spots? Have a progressive dinner. Call it “Chats et Choux” – “Cats and Cabbages.”

Cliff Bostock is a former psychotherapist now specializing in life coaching. Contact him at 404-518-4415 or cliffbostock@gmail.com.

April 28, 2017 Columnists 21

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BETS T ES

THURSDAY, APRIL 27SUNDAY, MAY 14

A T N A

Out Front Theatre’s take on “The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told,” written by playwright Paul Rudnick, has an 8 p.m. curtain tonight, running through May 14. An anti-gay group has employed a hate campaign against the theater company because of the play, so Atlanta’s LGBT community is expected to come out in force to support it. 999 Brady Ave. N.W., Atlanta, GA 30318, www.outfronttheatre.com (Publicity photo)

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Our Guide to the Best LGBT Events in Atlanta for April 28-May 11

EVEN FRIDAY, APRIL 28

The Georgia Alliance for Social Justice along with partners Better Georgia, Gays Against Guns, Guns Down, Pride Fund to End Gun Violence and more will host a powerful event to take place at the same time as the NRA National Convention’s Leadership Meeting at Georgia World Congress Center.

The event will feature such notable figures as Donald Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Ted Cruz, David Perdue and more. 11:30 a.m.

– 2 a.m., Woodruff Park, 51 Peachtree St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.facebook.com/events/1881121172109646 Join the Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (AGLCC) for the 4th Friday Networking Night to mix and mingle with LGBT and allied business professionals. Hosted by MassMutual at the Westin Atlanta Perimeter North, the event will feature great music from DJ Kidd Star and entertainment from Handy Entertainment. 5:30 p.m., 7 Concourse Parkway N.E., Atlanta, GA 30328, www.atlantagaychamber.org If you are interested in the history of Southern rural and urban feminist art and culture from the mid-1970s to 1990s, join Charis Books and More in celebrating the newest issue of “Sinister Wisdom.” “Sinister Wisdom 104: Lesbianima Rising” celebrates the arts and cultural contributions of lesbian feminists. The new issue explores Southern lesbian and women’s artistic activities between 1974 and 1996 and is a rich tapestry of Southern stories and reflections on the creative arts. 7:30 – 9 p.m., 1189 Euclid Ave. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com

SATURDAY, APRIL 29

The Inman Park Spring Festival takes place in one of Atlanta’s oldest and most

22 Best Bets April 28, 2017

scenic neighborhoods. Now celebrating its 46th anniversary, the festival offers something for everybody – three stages of live music, kids’ activities, a tour of homes, a marvelous street parade, an artists’ market and some of the city’s best people-watching.

11 a.m. - 7 p.m., Inman Park, www.facebook.com/events/614929388690342 “So You Think You Can Sing?,” a karaoke fundraiser for the Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus and the Atlanta Women’s Chorus, continues tonight, 6 – 9 p.m., Jungle Atlanta, 2115 Faulkner Road N.E, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleatl.com The infamous Dixie Longate, the nation’s leading Tupperware salesperson, will be headlining a fundraiser tonight for AIDS Vaccine Ride 200. There will be good food, fun, laughter and information about the upcoming bike ride. 6:30 – 9:30 p.m., Hudson Grille Midtown, 942 Peachtree St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.face-

book.com/events/1892064677682296 Puccini’s epic tale “Turandot,” opening tonight at 8 p.m. courtesy of Atlanta Opera, centers around Princess Turandot, who decapitates each suitor who fails to answer her riddles. Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway, Atlanta, GA 30339, www.cobbenergycentre.com The Armorettes perform tonight at the Heretic Atlanta to raise money for Heartsong, 8 – 10 p.m., 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road N.E., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com Come boogie at the We Love the ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s event with DJ Moose, 10 p.m. – 3 a.m., Atlanta Eagle, 306 Ponce de Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.atlantaeagle.com Join Jungle Atlanta for a dance party to end all dance parties at the Music

from the 2000s Dance Party! Guests include Trevor Rayshay, Perry Evette Watkins, Bria Arianna Cash, Biqtch Puddin’ and Steven Glen Diehl 10:30 p.m. – 3 a.m, 2115 Faulkner Road N.E., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.facebook.com/ events/1812684502389965

SUNDAY, APRIL 30

JEM Entertainment is proud to present ATL Rainbow Expo 2017 with all proceeds to benefit Lost-n-Found Youth.

Radio and TV personalities Tom Sullivan and Melissa Carter will emcee. Admission is free but a monetary donation for LNFY will be graciously accepted. 11 a.m. – 5 p.m., Ebster Recreation Center, 105 Electric Ave., Decatur, GA 30030.

In recognition of the one-year anniversary of the passing of Prince Rogers Nelson, the Auburn Avenue Research Library in collaboration with the African-American

CONTINUES ON PAGE 24 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

Steve Hightower, Founder and Lead Emcee

May 12th, 2017 The Atlanta History Center | 130 West Paces Ferry Rd. NW Atlanta, GA 30305 Doors open at 6:30pm for silent auction | Entertainment and Fashion Show starts at 7:45pm

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TELL US ABOUT YOUR LGBT EVENT

Submit your LGBT event for inclusion in our online and print calendars by emailing event info to editor@thegavoice.com CONTINUED FROM PAGE 22 Film Critics Association will host a screening of the iconic film “Purple Rain.”

This event will also include a post-screening panel/community discussion on Prince and his pop culture legacy. This event is free and open to the public. 3 p.m., Auburn Avenue Research Library, 101 Auburn Ave. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.afpls.org/aarl As spring becomes summer in Atlanta, it’s time for a little Sunday Funday. Join your friends on the Atlanta Leadership Council to support the vital work GLAAD does throughout the year and help accelerate acceptance throughout the South by changing hearts and minds. A live DJ will spin tracks all afternoon to keep the summer vibe going.

This is a rain or shine event, with a silent auction and door prize raffle as well. Please register ahead of time. A $10 donation is suggested; 3 – 6 p.m., Henry’s Midtown Atlanta, 132 10th St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.eventbrite.com/e/glaad-atlanta-patio-party-tickets-33535748326,

MONDAY, MAY 1

Living Room and Out On Film present the comedy “Pushing Dead,” about a man who has to suddenly pay for his HIV/ AIDS medications when he oversteps his allowable monthly income, starring James Roday and Danny Glover, with director Tom E. Brown at the screening for a Q&A, 7 p.m., Midtown Art Cinema, 931 Monroe Drive, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.outonfilm.org Trans and Friends is a youth-focused group for trans people, people questioning their own gender and aspiring allies.

Charis Books and More provides a facilitated space to discuss gender, relevant resources and activism around social issues. 7 – 8:30 p.m., Charis Books and More, 1189 Euclid Ave. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com The PFLAG support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning people and their parents and family meets tonight from 7:30 – 9 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta (Room 209/210),1605 Interstate 85/ Frontage Road, Atlanta, GA 30329

TUESDAY, MAY 2

Readers, bloggers, reviewers, booksellers and librarians who share a passion for

24 Best Bets April 28, 2017

books and are eager to meet more than 800 of their beloved authors are encouraged to attend the 2017 RT Booklovers Convention, today through May 7, Hyatt Regency Atlanta, 265 Peachtree St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30303, www.rtconvention.com

WEDNESDAY, MAY 3

It’s Hump Night! with Regina at Friends on Ponce, 736 Ponce de Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.friendsonponce-atl.com

THURSDAY, MAY 4

SAGE Atlanta’s social hour begins at 10 a.m., followed by a program/meeting at 11 a.m., Phillip Rush Center Annex, 1530 DeKalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.rushcenteratl.org The Stars Party & Silent Auction is tonight. Enjoy coctails and light bites as you bid on getaways, dining, entertainment and more. Kayla Taylor Jazz will play a live set throughout the evening.

Admission is free, with a suggested donation. All proceeds benefit the permanent supportive housing programs of Jerusalem House. 6 p.m., The Biltmore Ballrooms, 817 Peachtree St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.facebook.com/ events/1936534353242852 Charis Books and More invites community members to join The Personal is Political: Feminist Vent, to talk about personal issues or societal issues they are trying to deconstruct. The group will use intersectional feminist strategies as tools to talk through these issues. 7:30 – 9 p.m., 1189 Euclid Ave. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com

FRIDAY, MAY 5

Celebrate Cinco de Mayo at My Sister’s Room with the Maria Gabriella Band, 9 p.m., 66 12 St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.mysistersroom.com

SATURDAY, MAY 6

Join the #NOH8Worldwide movement and add your face to the fight for equal human rights. Come out, wear a white shirt and make a statement. Funds raised by the NOH8 Campaign will be used to continue promoting and raising awareness for LGBT equality as well as anti-discrimination and anti-bullying through NOH8’s interactive social media campaign. 2 – 5 p.m., W Atlanta -

THURSDAY, MAY 4

7 Stages presents its annual “Curious Queer Encounters” tonight, running through May 14. Curated by Michael Haverty, seven local ensembles and artists create original and interactive performances hidden in and around the building to represent and redefine queer culture. 8 p.m., 1105 Euclid Ave. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.7stages.org (Courtesy photo) Downtown, 45 Ivan Allen Jr. Blvd. N.W., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.facebook.com/ events/967653460035156 Join DeKalb Choral Guild for a concert that contemplates what water means to us all. A wide selection of musical styles and themes will guide you through images of droughts, longing, remembering, rain, rivers, oceans, floods, storms, waves, calm, stillness and hope. Majok Marier, founder of the organization Wells for Hope, will be on hand to talk about the work his group does to bring wells and water to people in South Sudan. 7:30 p.m., St Bart’s Episcopal Church, 1790 Lavista Road, Atlanta, GA 30329, www.stbartsatlanta.org

SUNDAY, MAY 7

Passion for Paws presents its annual Canines & Cocktails Big Deck Party at Henry’s Midtown, benefiting Releash Atlanta and another group working with dogs for the blind. DJ Zach Falls keeps the party hot all afternoon while guests sip fabulous Tito’s vodka. You can purchase raffle tickets for $3, or five for $10 for your

chance to win gift cards and other prizes, and inside you’ll have an opportunity to bid on select prizes such as a Caribbean trip starting at $800, 3 - 6 p.m., 132 10th St. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.facebook. com/events/292004131231660

WEDNESDAY, MAY 10

Jinx Monsoon, Bob the Drag Queen, Latrice Royale and more come together for Haters Roast: The Shady Tour, 8 p.m. at Center Stage, 1374 W. Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.centerstage-atlanta.com The rescheduled reopening of the Atlanta landmark The Clermont Lounge is tonight at 9 p.m., 789 Ponce de Leon Ave. N.E, Atlanta, GA 30306, www.facebook. com/events/1616113755133346

THURSDAY, MAY 11

Derek and Julianne Hough of “Dancing With the Stars” fame bring their “Move Beyond – Live Tour” to town, 7:30 p.m., 660 Peachtree Street N.E., Atlanta, GA 30308, Fox Theatre, www.foxtheatre.org

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I look at women at work differently after what happened this morning I was dropping my 2-year-old off at daycare, and even though he has been going for months and has adjusted well, today he did not want any of it. Once we arrived, Mr. Carter had a death grip on me, forcing me to sit with him for a few minutes as I tried to assure him that it was OK. It was that sad, chin-quivering face staring back at mine that made me honestly want to pluck him up and run right back out and head anywhere that would make him happy.

But I knew I was running late to work already, and if I sat any longer it would be noticeable to the bosses that I was not where I was supposed to be. So I had to make the difficult and seemingly unnatural decision to let his teacher try and take him so I could leave. The next few moments were like a scene from an epic Hollywood tragedy. Tears and snot were streaming down Mr. Carter’s panicked face, his arms outstretched. I blew a kiss and walked out, waiting until I got in the car to cry.

I’m an older mother, waiting until my 40s to have my son, so I have taken for granted all the potential obstacles a working mother has to face. I heard criticism in the past by non-parent colleagues that mothers seem to get special privileges if they leave early to pick up or care for a child. I didn’t have a dog in that fight back then so I never really had an opinion. But now I do.

Mind your own business. By the time I got to work, I had already spent a good three hours taking care of my son’s needs, then spent the day trying not to worry about the emotional effects the morning had on my son, who likely started playing the minute I left. No one at work had any idea I had just been in tears, and spending the energy to come across as normal is exhausting enough in the workforce, let alone having to deal with the judgment of others if I do

“No one at work had any idea I had just been in tears, and spending the energy to come across as normal is exhausting enough in the workforce, let alone having to deal with the judgment of others if I do have to show my real emotion.” have to show my real emotion. It goes back to the old adage “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” You never know what anyone, mother or not, has been through before they walk through the office door.

Business is not a thing or a brand. More importantly, it is filled with human beings who more than likely have harried mornings like mine that make them feel insecure about the choices they’ve made in their lives. Bosses should feel honored to have a staff willing to go through that for them. More importantly, colleagues should just assume that the woman sitting next to you could use a kind word or a joke, rather than impatience coated with the typical inauthentic smile. Remember, we’re in this together.

Melissa Carter is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and has been heard over the years on B98.5 and Q100. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post. Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter.

26 Columnists April 28, 2017 www.thegeorgiavoice.com

SOMETIMES ‘Y’

By RYAN LEE

Why I take Karen Handel’s lying personally One of the harshest backhanded compliments I ever received was from a staffer for Nathan Deal, who in 2010 used my past reporting to discredit the conservative bonafides of Deal’s opponent in the Republican primary runoff for governor, Karen Handel. Deal had just edged Handel by less than a single percentage point to win the GOP nomination, and when I called Deal’s spokesperson, Brian Robinson, about the role that LGBT issues would play in the general election, Robinson began our conversation with kudos and thanks.

“That was some solid reporting,” Robinson said of the Southern Voice articles his opposition research had unearthed about Handel, which Deal’s campaign used to show that the archconservative Handel had espoused LGBT-friendly views when she ran for the Fulton County Commission a few years earlier. “They were like … real articles.”

“Well,” I said, dumbfounded, but trying not to sabotage what I hoped would be a fruitful interview with the likely incoming gubernatorial administration, “We liked to consider ourselves real journalists at Southern Voice.”

With my biases self-evident – a raging liberal working for a newspaper that advocates for LGBT rights – the cultivation of conservative sources has been one of the most rewarding parts of my career in LGBT media. In my first few months of reporting, the Georgia Legislature debated the constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.

Former state Sen. Mike Crotts, a Republican, was the figurehead behind the anti-gay constitutional amendment, and we spoke several times a week while the Legislature debated the ban. Any typical SoVo reader who read my articles would have seen Crotts as a buffoon, as he had a way of reducing his arguments to a simplicity that made you wonder whether his brain was still sophisticated enough to regulate his bowel movements.

But after every story, I would see the congenial senator and he would thank me for reflecting his words accurately, and offer insight www.thegeorgiavoice.com

“I developed a … rapport with Handel when she was courting LGBT Fulton County voters by promising to be a moderating influence among Georgia’s anti-gay Republican Party – a professional, respectful relationship that spanned several months and produced the articles that haunted Handel when she became a bornagain, far-right candidate for secretary of state and governor.” into the next phase of his strategy (although it hardly takes strategy to successfully marshal bigotry through the Georgia Legislature).

I developed a similar rapport with Handel when she was courting LGBT Fulton County voters by promising to be a moderating influence among Georgia’s anti-gay Republican Party – a professional, respectful relationship that spanned several months and produced the articles that haunted Handel when she became a born-again, far-right candidate for secretary of state and governor.

“The Southern Voice is going to say all kinds of wacky stuff,” Handel’s gubernatorial campaign spokesperson Dan McLagan told the AJC’s Politifact in 2010. “The fact a retraction was not asked for is not proof of the assertion. She probably wasn’t sitting around reading a gay tabloid.”

Politifact rated Handel’s overall claim that she wasn’t once pro-LGBT as a “pants on fire” untruth.

I’m not the least surprised that a politician would be a conniving liar, but with Handel, it’s personal.

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

April 28, 2017 Columnists 27

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