10/25/19, Vol. 10 Issue 17

THANK YOU! THANKS FOR A GREAT 2019 ATL PRIDE! WE’LL SEE YOU IN 2020!

ATLANTA

Thursday, November 14 STP Tile Showroom 721 Miami Circle NE, Suite 107 Atlanta, GA 30324

VIVIENNE CHO Patti Sue Mathis Point Scholar University of North Alabama

Join us and learn about how Point empowers the next generation of LGBTQ leaders through scholarship, community service, leadership training and development and learn how you can become an agent for change!

Contact James Worsdale at jamesw@pointfoundation.org to RSVP.

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georgia VOL.10 • ISSUE 17

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

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EDITORIAL

Editor: Patrick Colson-Price pcolson-price@thegavoice.com Editorial Contributors: Conswella Bennett, Cliff Bostock, Camryn Burke, Melissa Carter, Mariah Cooper, Dallas Duncan, Aidan Ivory Edwards, Jim Farmer, Luke Gardner, O’Brian Gunn Ryan Lee, Rose Pelham, Berlin Sylvestre, Dionne Walker

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SALES

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FINE PRINT

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4 Editorial October 25, 2019

YOUR VOICE MATTERS

EDITORIAL

The Come Down Patrick Colson-Price

It’s no secret to anyone who has ever taken part in the circuit scene that the after-effects of partying all weekend long can impact your mental and emotional health. Atlanta Pride was no exception as I found myself gasping for air and some type of understanding as to when my emotions would bounce back to normal after four days of non-stop partying.

Sunday night we danced from 11pm until 6:30am without a break. I knew all day Monday would be spent in and out of sleep with the remainder of my house guests along with my husband, and I was thankful that my body had no other plans. But Tuesday was a day I knew would be coming long before Pride weekend ever got here. The emotional lows I experienced were unbearable and at certain points I couldn’t stop pacing back and forth as sweat and tears poured down my face. I thought about all of my house guests that were gone, the smiles that left with them, and the memories we shared, all of which were distant thoughts in my mind. I knew why I felt the way I did and that’s what upset me the most.

For the majority of people taking part in parties over Pride weekend, there is some type of drug use involved. For others, there are a lot of drugs. I intended to take it easy throughout the weekend as I had to work our Georgia Voice booth at Piedmont Park on Saturday and Sunday. But it’s now how things panned out. Come Friday night I was ready to go all out. Saturday afternoon and evening, and then Sunday night and Monday morning, I was in a whirlwind high that I couldn’t even get myself out of. I knew I had to let the drugs run their course and exit my body just as quickly as they entered my body.

With every pill I took, I knew the comedown would be just a little bit more intense. I kept telling myself that when the feelings of loneliness and despair hit me that Tuesday morning, I’d just brush them off and blame them on the drugs. But it wasn’t that easy.

I crawled out of bed after more than 15 hours of sleep feeling like a zombie, barely able to look at myself in the mirror. I avoided social media as to not be reminded of just how many wonderful memories I made over the weekend. I knew with just one glance that I’d break down in tears and not be able to pull myself together. I tried to erase the weekend from my brain, but subtle reminders around my apartment pulled me right back into what I had quickly tried to forget.

Why do I do this to myself? I’m already a very emotionally unstable person, and adding drugs into the mix didn’t help me at all. It might’ve masked the pain of my ups and downs, but in the end, the consequences of a weekend of partying were more damaging than a quiet weekend cooped up inside.

As my emotional breakdowns continued through the week, I kept telling myself that things were going to be ok and that the drugs were responsible for my roller coaster of emotions. It’s hard to imagine just what these substances do to one’s body, but I can account for the fact that no matter how much fun and how many amazing memories are made in 72 hours, the following 24 hours can ruin all the progress of happiness that one has made.

I’m here to say that while we make decisions that we know will negatively impact our future feelings, we must dig deep and tell ourselves that things will be ok and that what we feel isn’t reality. My time with friends over Pride weekend was beyond incredible and nothing can take away that, not even a steep drop from the highest of highs from even the strongest drugs.

Buttigieg Rejects O’Rourke’s Proposal to Tax Anti-LGBTQ Churches Jeff Fedder: “Such a logical and reasonable thinker.”

Peter Ent: “While I would love to see churches taxed, Pete’s stance makes me think otherwise. Once you tax a religious institution it gives them a say in how those taxes are used, the same as anyone else. Which erodes the already crumbling wall between church and state.”

Michael Miller: “There is precedent. The ‘Christian school’ Bob Jones University had its tax exempt status revoked for refusing to admit black students. Churches are free to believe what they believe and are free to deny access to their religious rites, etc, based on their beliefs. But when they offer a public service, they must provide accommodation to all.”

Gay Facebook Co-founder Chris Hughes Slams Facebook for Allowing False Political Ads Will Comeaux: “Mark Zuckerberg is in cahoots with Trump and his administration.”

Scott Whitlock: “It’s all about the money.

Who pays the most, gets the most.”

Billy Porter May Be Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother in New Musical Jenni Timmons: “This would be fabulous on its own, but to see the steam out of the million moms’ ears will be a bonus!”

Mobility Issues for Elders Attending Pride Clarence Boothill: “While my husband and I may not fit the image of elder, our bodies do. Mobility is a major issue for him and sometimes me. I feel for people who try to navigate on walkers/wheelchairs. Everyone just talks about you or runs ahead only to stop to hug and chat instead of moving the conversation to the side or worse, check their phone with no regard for the rest of the people walking the park roads.”

Want to be featured in Your Voice Matters?

Leave a comment to a story via social media or on our website, or email editor@thegavoice.com with the subject line “Your Voice Matters.”

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NEWS

University System of Ga. Updates Healthcare Policies Benefits to Include Transgender Employees

“This victory is important not for its impact on the small fraction of transgender employees, but for the broader message USG is sending to the state government and school systems.”

Katie Burkholder The University System of Georgia (USG) has updated its policies to allow employees trans-inclusive healthcare benefits after transgender University of Georgia (UGA) employee Skyler Jay sued the university.

Jay, a catering manager for UGA who you may recognize as the first transgender contestant on “Queer Eye,” sued the university in 2017 after being denied medical coverage by his employer’s insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield, before undergoing top surgery. Jay appealed the denial, but Blue Cross Blue Shield refused the appeal because his plan was self-insured and had “no flexibility” to override the plan exclusion. Leaders of USG also denied his request to discuss the dispute.

Jay eventually raised the money necessary for the surgery – over $8,000 – through a GoFundMe page and sought to have it reimbursed by UGA while also deciding to challenge the discriminatory policy.

Transcend Legal, a law firm owned and operated by trans men specifically challenging trans-exclusive healthcare policies, filed a lawsuit against both USG and Blue Cross Blue Shield on his behalf.

“The fact that transgender employees are not able to access medically necessary care while non-transgender employees have their medically necessary care covered evidences a disparate impact on a protected class,” his attorneys wrote in their complaint.

The judge eventually dismissed the suit against Blue Cross Blue Shield, as the insurance company could only enforce the policies the employer chose. USG’s insurance policies absolved state universities like UGA and the insurance company from covering trans-specific medical expenses like genderaffirming surgery or hormone therapy.

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UGA CAMPUS COURTESY PHOTO

Jay’s suit was eventually successful, with him and USG reaching a settlement that awarded him $100,000. Jay has already received the payment and used it to cover his medical expenses. More importantly to him, though: the policy has since been changed. Now, any USG employee and their dependents are able to receive trans-related care through their insurance. The change officially took effect last month.

“Honestly, I feel like this is history for our community,” Jay told Out after the victory.

“Given the administration and the politics facing the transgender community, we’re unfortunately losing a lot of battles right now.

At the end of the day, there is so much more work to be done, but this is a huge move.”

For him, the suit wasn’t about the reimbursement. “[It’s about knowing that] there are so many people behind me that have to [go through] the exact same thing and possibly with less resources,” he told Out.

Chanel Haley, the Gender Policy Manager at Georgia Equality, told the Georgia Voice that this issue of transgender healthcare is not a trans issue at all: it’s a human rights issue.

“Healthcare should always cover whatever necessities a person needs across the board,” she said. “People are making this into a trans-specific situation, but every American, every Georgian, every person wants access to the healthcare they need. And that does not exclude a transgender person.”

The policy change will affect the over 160,000 people employed by USG at 26 public universities, including UGA, Atlanta’s Georgia Tech and Georgia State, and Kennesaw State. But according to Haley, this victory is important not for its impact on the small fraction of transgender employees, but for the broader message USG is sending to the state government and school systems.

“It’s a social message,” the transgender activist told the Georgia Voice. “How many people

transgender individuals are employees of the University System of Georgia? Not many.

However, it is extremely monumental for the University System of Georgia to actually take this action. I should hope that the state government is looking and hopefully this will prompt them to move towards creating non-discrimination protections statewide.

This also should prompt school systems to allow transgender students to use restrooms that align with their gender.”

She went on to say that, while this victory was monumental, these kinds of conversations should not still be happening – and the federal government should be helming the protection of all people, including transgender people. “The fact that it’s almost 2020 and we’re still having these conversations is disgusting,” Haley divulged.

“If our government did the right thing and made sure every person living in the United States was protected, then we wouldn’t be having these kind of debates right now. And the fact that this is also regional is an issue, too. We should all be on the same page across the country – the South should not always be catching up to the rest of the country.”

October 25, 2019 News 5

NEWS

Gwinnett County Board of Education Member

Comes Out as Gay Katie Burkholder

EVERTON BLAIR COURTESY PHOTO

On Election Day 2018, Everton Blair made history: he defeated a veteran incumbent for a seat on the Gwinnett County Board of Education, making him the youngest and first black member of the governing body of the most populous school district in Georgia. On Oct. 11, 2019 – National Coming Out Day – Blair made history again when he publicly came out as a gay man.

The 27-year-old made his announcement with the help of Victory Fund, an organization working to elect LGBTQ candidates. The organization shared a letter he wrote to his younger self, reflecting on his identity and where he is now, to their email subscribers and got him in touch with NBC News to make his disclosure public.

With this announcement, Blair became the first out LGBTQ member of the board and the second gay black man to be hold public office in the state of Georgia, following in Atlanta City Councilmember Antonio Brown’s footsteps. Blair told the Georgia Voice he chose to make this momentous announcement on National Coming Out Day for a reason: to put the focus back on other LGBTQ people.

“I wanted to make sure that the day felt meaningful and not completely about me,” he said. “I figured this would be a day where a lot of other people would at least be reflecting on their coming out experience or people might be choosing to come out the same day or same time I did. It gave me the opportunity to just join in a much broader, national narrative and shine a little bit of light on the importance of it … [National Coming Out Day] is a symbol of hope and a symbol of forward aspiration.”

He said that because he’s more representative of Gwinnett County than the majority of the board – “[I’m] the only person that represents 6 News October 25, 2019

the now” – he’s seen the importance of diverse representation, especially after publicly coming out, firsthand.

“One of the experiences I’ve had while on the board is seeing the impact of how much representation matters,” he said. “There’s a lot of elements of who I am that the board has literally never seen but are very widely represented in our teaching population, in our student population, and even in our parent population … There’s a huge population of people that [my coming out] directly touches, and that’s who I did it for.”

Blair further emphasized that this population of people are intersectional in a way that he represents, as well; an intersectionality that is severely lacking in our public offices. “[Being black and gay] is like a double marginalization … I’m proud of that intersection and showing people that I’ve had struggles everywhere,” he told the Georgia Voice. “But being in a city as black and gay as Atlanta, it’s kind of shocking that I’m only the second black gay man ever to hold public office. That to me speaks to how our

intersections don’t show up very prominently.

It’s much easier for us to think, ‘If we want to get political power, we gotta put a straight man who is copacetic to the dominant culture in power and make him our spokesperson.’

That undermines the need to disrupt the dominant culture and elevate more diverse people in more diverse places.”

Now a couple of weeks after his coming out, Blair said that he never could’ve expected the positive reaction he’s received. He had braced himself for homophobic hate mail— “it wouldn’t have been the first time people didn’t accept me for who I am”—but was pleasantly surprised to receive nothing but positivity: letters of support and appreciation from students, staff, and parents and an uptick in student involvement, with students feeling empowered enough to come to school board meetings, take notes, and engage with Blair and other board members.

“I didn’t do this thinking that would be an outcome,” he said, obviously shocked but thankful, “and I’m just really grateful it’s been positively received and people are finding a

“I know we won’t get to a society where coming out doesn’t matter until we disrupt the notion that heteronormativity is the dominant culture and until we get to the space where we recognize people are people – and we are.”

— Everton Blair

glimmer of symbolic hope with my disclosure.”

While he’s grateful to make history and a difference in his students’ lives, Blair hopes for a day where LGBTQ people are so widely accepted, a holiday like National Coming Out Day will no longer need to exist.

“I know we won’t get to a society where coming out doesn’t matter until we disrupt the notion that heteronormativity is the dominant culture and until we get to the space where we recognize people are people – and we are,” Blair said. “Until we come to a place of acceptance with that truth, there will still be a need to come out because people will still find it easier not to. I just hope that people can understand that this is still a challenge for people, and that’s part of the reason this day is important. It shines a light on how people still feel compelled to live in the shadows or deceive folks about who they are. That should not be a way anybody lives in modern society.”

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

NEWS

Spooky Drag and Reads at

Drag Queen Story Hour Conswella Bennett

BRENT STAR NARRATES DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR

This month’s Drag Queen Story Hour came with a Halloween theme ready to spook the kids! Atlanta comedian and drag queen, Brent Star joined the festivities, showing up dressed as one of his favorite author’s characters, Dr. Suess’ Cat in the Hat.

COURTESY PHOTOS

Brent animatedly read the first three Halloween-themed books to the audience of babies, toddlers, tweens, and adults as Cat in the Hat. Brent read “I Am Invited to a Party,” one of the books in the “The Elephant and The Piggy” book series, “Peppa the Pig Halloween Costume,” and “Monsters Come out Tonight.” Then in Brent Star fashion, he did a costume change while Marc Stiles, Posman manager, passed out candy to the group. Brent returned as Dr. Seuss’ Thing 1 to read the remaining two books, “Green Eggs & Ham” and “Where the Wild Things Are.”

Brent, who is a drag performer at night and is also a kid’s entertainer at parties during the day, said being involved in the story hour was a perfect fit for him. For the past two years, Brent has brought a variety of characters to his readings.

“I love when parents bring the kids,” he noted. To parents who may be a little hesitant to attend a Drag Queen Story Hour, Brent acknowledged, “My job is to entertain the kids and make them interested in books and reading, and when they get in the car and the kids ask questions, the parents’ job is to answer them.” Brent said young children are going to find out about drag queens so “what better way to introduce them to drag queens than with the story hour with their parents.”

Brent did more than read to his audience, he provided comedic ad-libs to the stories.

Besides reading the popular children’s books, Brent got the audience up and moving with the children’s song, “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” after reading a book. Later to break up the reading, he played a Hot Potato musical passing game – the kids and adults got a kick out of passing a toy potato around among the audience.

For the past two years, Posman Books has been holding the Drag Queen Story Hour.

Marc said he has not been surprised by the event’s positive reception in the liberal community.

However, this spring a local drag queen, Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker’s story hour was removed from the Fulton library system. “We’ve never had any pushback or comments,” Marc added of his store’s monthly drag queen readings. “It’s been extremely popular,” he added.

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While the story hour is an attraction to get people into the store, Marc said the Drag Queen Story Hour “teaches diversity and expands children and adult’s minds.”

Interestingly, while there are a few regulars who attend, Marc said there is always a different group of families and people who drop in for the Drag Queen Story Hour.

That was the case for a first-time attendee, Eleanor Matsuura. Eleanor brought her 23-month-old daughter, Yoshimi. “I’m a huge fan of drag queens and the drag community

and as soon as I heard about this, it was a slam dunk,” Eleanor said. Eleanor wanted her young daughter to take part she says, “Because I want my kid to know about drag queens because they are fabulous.”

Ironically, when the store opened, Marc said they tried to have a regular story hour for kids two days a week, but no one ever attended. But, Brent and drag queen Edie Cheezburger are two of the popular readers and have been a natural fit for the first of its kind in the city of Atlanta.

Brent enjoys interacting with the children and parents during the storytime, and added, “I’m more surprised with the number of adults who show up without kids.”

The next Drag Queen Story Hour will feature Edie Cheezburger and will be held Saturday, Nov. 16 at 2pm. Brent Star will return in December.

Posman Books is located at 675 Ponce De Leon Ave NE, C197. You can also check out their website at www.posmanbooks.com.

October 25, 2019 News 7

SPIRITUALITY

My Perfect Religion: Subjectivity Aidan Ivory Edwards My parents were kind enough to let me decide my commitment towards religion after they had been products of biblethumping in the northeast. My mother in the creaking pews of an Irish protestant church in rural Corbettsville, New York.

My father standing, feeling the amplitude from stomps, and laments in a black Baptist church in the bustle of Newark, New Jersey.

Both of them fell out of their Sunday worshipping, luckily for me.

A perfect religion is subjective. It could be a matter of commitment, discipline, familiarity, or for some – a way to justify animosity. My encounters with contemporary American religion have been convoluted by the hypocrisy that intrudes on the meaning behind religion, a way to make peace with birth, life, and death.

But serenity can be lost with the help of misguided interpretations. Leading people to go out of their way to picket funerals, bask in a fortune obtained with a façade, and throw Chick-Fil-A to a white upper-middleclass inside of a mansion of worship every Sunday. It’s difficult to fathom the idea that God would be comfortable with a church’s net worth being $67 billion. These are the same palaces that have authorities shoo away the homeless men and women who sleep on their stairs. That’s not very Jesus-like.

My pre-k education provided me with a color-coded bible – each color representing symbols from the holy text. White was for the bread that breaks, red was for the blood of Jesus, and so on. I recited each color to my mother. I could see the concern in her face, the morbidity of it all was plain sight. Weeks later, I accidentally knocked over a white candle while the pastor spoke, spilling wax on the blood-red carpet. I profusely apologized, sure that there would be a pernicious omen waiting for me. That anxiety didn’t sit well with my parents. I was transferred to another school, and my color-coded bible vanished.

Later, I’d watch my classmates leave for 8 Spirituality October 25, 2019

“The entitlement of inclusion being used as a crutch, a talking point in defense of an action is a cop-out. When I hear people say, ‘God has me,’ I often wonder – does He?” religious education. When they’d return, I’d tell the class their foreheads were dirty. It was Ash Wednesday. I’d bow my head at my friends’ houses as they’d say grace but never closed my eyes. I’d attempt to leave before service the following morning. Regrettably, I was usually dragged along, mimicking their mouthing of ominous hymns. I was lightyears away from my element. The more I saw a golden Jesus crucifix, the more religions began to appear in my life.

Throughout the years, I had a Pentecostal family tell me that I was going to hell for celebrating Halloween. I had a Mormon Spanish teacher who boasted of his relations with a Russian teenager he’d met online (he was terminated). I witnessed Catholics pass around a bottle of whiskey in a parking lot, throwing around racial slurs. I’ve seen Baptists leave church early to head to the strip club. We are all humans, flawed, and

victims of our nature. It’s a matter of how we respond to this behavior. The entitlement of inclusion being used as a crutch, a talking point in defense of an action is a cop-out.

When I hear people say, “God has me,” I often wonder – does He? It wasn’t until my middle school years that religion (spirituality, really) had a positive effect on me. I moved into an apartment complex that felt like a borough in New York City. I made friends who were Muslim, Sikh, and Buddhist. They fed me, welcomed me into their home, and loved me when I felt unloved. Their actions left a profound imprint on my values, I coveted their emotional tranquility. But I subdued my nature, accepting that I am incurably spiteful towards any helicoptering authority, a quality that stems from my childhood.

Feeling micromanaged led me astray from the traditional American life path, and from

religion. Ultimately, it led me to focus on spirituality, where I settled into philosophy.

I am a non-believer, taking on the philosophical belief absurdism. I don’t believe that any of this existence has a direct meaning – but nothing is daunting about its futility.

It’s the zenith of freedom. A liberation that cannot be stripped away. A revolt sparked within oneself. I can shape meaning into my life through my work, achievements, and my family. What makes life meaningful is one’s decision, an ideology that is free of authority, and dissimulation. My perfect religion would be Atheism, but that’s only because it adheres to my desires. Any belief that one takes on to better themselves, do better for others, relieve incessant anxiety, or to find solace in this world, I embrace it. Anything that mends, or leaves humanity unmaimed has my support. I am as flawed as the next person. Trust me.

TheGeorgiaVoice.com

SPIRITUALITY

There’s A Satanic Temple In Atlanta!

(Should We Be Scared?)

Berlin Sylvestre

THE 7 FUNDAMENTAL TENETS OF THE SATANIC TEMPLE

The director of ministry sits before a desk littered with paperwork, hair streaked a similar blue as the artful walls behind him.

He’s a fit 30-something and speaks in deep, soft tones, looking very much like someone you’d engage in conversation with over coffee.

Only he’s not out to have you volunteer with him at the nearby soup kitchen or recruit you to his political party – he wants you to check out TST, The Satanic Temple.

He goes by Priest Penemue, and he’s been with The Satanic Temple for “a number of years.” Styled after the high order of angels’ Penemue (who taught men to understand writing and the use of ink and paper), he’s organizing chapter heads and media liaisons around the country to work out an ordination program for members of The Satanic Temple to become legally recognized officiants to many types of ceremonies – including marriage, traditional and same-sex alike.

“I’m looking forward to watching this develop, and seeing how our members and community

DID YOU KNOW? The Church of Satan is not affiliated with The Satanic Temple. In fact, the two are mostly at one another’s throats. The former was created by Anton LaVey in 1966, while the latter was founded by Lucien Greaves and Malcolm Jarry in 2013. While neither of them believe in an actual Satan and both of them are quoted in the news when Satanism appears in pop culture, there is a hefty schism between the two. Among their key differences?

The Satanic Temple has a headquarters (Salem, MA), defends reproductive rights, fights for secularism, has local chapters, doesn’t believe in “magick,” is tax exempt, is socially and politically active, holds regular meetings, doesn’t require a fee to join, and doesn’t believe that “men who prefer bleu cheese dressing must be homosexually inclined because the odor is reminiscent of a locker full of well-worn jockstraps.” (Yes. Really.)

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n One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. n The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. n One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. n The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.

Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs. n

SATANIC TEMPLE

COURTESY PHOTOS, IMAGE

People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

n

leaders can take these new roles seriously to provide a service to our society,” says YouTuber Venita Hodgkin. “We will lead by example, autonomy, and compassion.”

Continuing the trend of progressive political stances, the Atlanta Chapter uploaded a rainbow version of The Satanic Temple logo in October. A Satanist known as Reverend Gregory can relate to that particular intersection. “I would go to gay nightclubs and have these cool experiences with MDMA and all these wonderful people, and I would just feel so alive,” he says. “But when I would bring those stories to Christian circles, the leftie ones, they would always say, ‘We’re not trying to say what you’re doing is terrible, but let’s try to find the nugget of truth that works for our [religion].’” He rejects that. “There’s no ‘nugget of truth’ – the experience itself … those sorts of things to me are holy,” he affirms, adding that even moments in darker corners of society help him accept himself.

The group is no stranger to confusion and ire, though their dedication to community

could put other organizations to shame. This summer, the Atlanta chapter of TST met at The Highlander in midtown, as they’re known to, and raised money, clothing, bedding, food, and personal items for Lostn-Found Youth, a place for teens experiencing homelessness in our area. Like the TST overall, the local chapter of is a strenuously conscious participant of social reform including, even more recently, a donation drive to help combat the anti-abortion laws passed around the nation. Because the laws “restrict or inhibit access to abortion, make unreasonable demands on patients or practitioners, or endanger the health, safety, or wellbeing of our members, this is a violation of our Third Tenet (bodily autonomy) and Fifth Tenet (living in accordance with the best scientific understanding of the world),” according to their website. “As a federally recognized religion, the right to practice our beliefs is protected under the First Amendment and the Religious Freedom Restoration Act.” At the time of printing, they’ve raised $5,331.20 – or 11 percent – of the $50,000 they’re aiming for in the name of TST Religious Reproductive Rights Campaign. The organization will hold

n Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

a rally in the state with the most donations.

But do they actually believe in and worship Satan? As an organization, no. “Satanism has a very strong moral foundation, a worldview rooted in a narrative with deep cultural and historical significance, and a set of symbols that we as Satanists have a deep connection to – and from which we draw inspiration and meaning,” Priest Penemue writes.

Should Atlanta be afraid of its local chapter?

If peaceful meetings that raise money and awareness for compassionate, progressive causes constitute a bogeyman for us, then Happy Samhain, folks.

The next TST meeting is on Oct. 27 at 2pm in the Oakland Cemetery. (Bonus: It’s also a pot luck.) Check out their Facebook for more details at Facebook.com/TSTATL. October 25, 2019 Spirituality 9

HALLOWEEN

Patrick Colson-Price Whether you’re dressing from head to toe in an extravagant Halloween costume or looking to hit the town in more subtle fashion, we’ve got you covered! From online to around town, we’ve picked some stylish wears for your Halloween!

D E

A

ITEMS FROM BOY NEXT DOOR D) Rainbow Shield Glasses $15

C B

ITEMS FROM ONLINE A) Target Men’s Halloween Shirt $9.99 B) Rockem Spirit Board Socks $14 C) Dresslily Halloween Pumpkin and Cat Button Down $20.29

10 Halloween October 25, 2019

F

E) Vintage Orange Scales Short $57 F) NastyPig Competition Blue Socks $16

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HALLOWEEN

BOO! Halloween Costumes to Impress Jessica Vue With the holiday season coming up, Halloween allows us to reflect upon the year and wear the biggest trends, hits and cultural icons of the year. Here are 2019’s top costumes: HBO Game of Thrones: If you’re still into/haven’t moved on from GoT and let everyone know who should’ve won and let everyone know that winter is coming.

Euphoria: If you’re into Zendaya (who isn’t?) and good at makeup, put on some rhinestones, glitter or sweatpants (perfect pregame for going home early to go to bed on time).

Disney Toy Story: Top off the (hopefully) last movie of the series with a badass Bo Peep costume.

Sheep and Woody not included.

Aladdin: Show the world that you’re the cutest, whether you’re Aladdin, Jasmine, Will Smith – I mean the Genie, Abu or Jafar.

Frozen: Brace for the cold and for children wanting to hear a hit song for the rest of 2020 with an Elsa or Anna costume.

Little Mermaid: Can’t wait for the live action? Go ahead and slip into some fins and a red wig and be a part of your world.

Lion King: Show your pride by painting your face and being Beyoncé (again).

Clockwise from top left: Spider-Man (Brent Star); Harley Quinn (Miles Jai); Little Mermaid (Brent Star); Genie (Patrick Starrr); and Zendaya (Sarah Cheung). (Courtesy photos)

Marie Kondo: Do you love mess?

next year’s movie.

Fab Five: Do you love fixing mess?

Poison Ivy: Perfectly pairs with last year’s Harley Quinn costume.

Marvel Spider-Man (and MJ): Celebrate SpiderMan and Tom Holland still being in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Brownie points if you love Led Zeppelin.

Joker: Green hair? Check. Face paint?

Check.

Iron Man (RIP): Honor Iron Man’s memory with a costume and Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love you.”

Movies Tethered and Untethered from Us: For those who were told too many times to not run with scissors. Or for those who love Lupita Nyong’o (aka everyone).

Stranger Things: Three seasons later, and Eleven is still that chick for Halloween.

Thanos: Be the one to rule them all with one glove and lots of purple body paint.

IT: Love clowning around and being people’s worst fear?

Ashley O: Go undercover as Miley Cyrus’ other pop star alter ego, pop on a lilac wig and call it a day. You’re on a roll!

DC Harley Quinn: Throw on your costume from last year and call it a day. Still works for

Charlie’s Angels: If you have a group of friends who love the 2000s, Lucy Liu and tight pants in that order.

Netflix Riverdale: Go back to high school, throw on a letterman jacket from Hot Topic and call it a day. Or wear a leather moto jacket and a beanie and go along with it.

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Men in Black: Throw on a suit and a pair of sunglasses and stop by the kid’s section for some serious protection.

Detective Pikachu: Honor Ash Ketchum’s historic win this year.

Music Megan Thee Stallion: Hot girl summer may be over, but it’s thotumn now.

Old Town Road: Giddy up, cowboy!

Be a hit on the charts and at the Halloween party.

Lizzo: Still got your flute from middle school band? Go for it!

Elton John: Strap on your go-go boots, put on some sunglasses and call it a night.

October 25, 2019 Halloween 11

HALLOWEEN

Tricks and TREATS! FROM OUR KITCHEN TO YOURS

Patrick Colson-Price Tis’ the season for some wicked Halloween treats to liven up your goolish Halloween party! Or if you simply need some treats to snack on while watching your favorite Halloween movie, we’ve got our top two treats for you!

Gum and Teeth Snacks Ingredients n A handful of apples n Jar of peanut butter or other “butter” choice n Mini marshmallows STEP ONE: First, start by cutting the apple into slices. Then cut them into smaller slices. An apple slicer makes this job pretty kid friendly and offers a more uniform look!

STEP TWO: Now you want to put about a teaspoon or two of peanut butter onto each slice of apple – but just on one side of the apple. Then put a row of mini marshmallows across one apple slice.

Shortbread Witch Finger Cookies Ingredients n 1 cup butter, softened n 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar n 2 teaspoons vanilla extract n 2 cups all-purpose flour n A few drops of green food coloring n Whole almonds for decorating n 1 cup of white chocolate chips n A few drops of red food coloring STEP ONE: In a mixing bowl, add cream butter and confectioners’ sugar. Add vanilla and food coloring. Gradually add flour; mix well.

STEP TWO: With lightly floured hands, shape a couple tablespoons of dough into 3-inch long “fingers.”

STEP THREE: Place two in. apart on ungreased baking sheets.

STEP FOUR: Press a whole almond onto the tips of the cookie. Bake at 350 degrees F for 9-11 minutes or until edges and bottom are lightly browned. Cool for 2-3 minutes before removing to wire racks.

STEP FIVE: Microwave white chocolate chips until melted. Add red food coloring. Dip cooled cookies into chocolate.

12 Halloween October 25, 2019

STEP THREE: Then sandwich them together (one apple slice with peanut butter and marshmallows and one slice with just peanut butter). Press firmly until they stick and you have your teeth!

Pumpkin Patch Dirt Cups Ingredients n Package of instant chocolate pudding n 2 packages of Oreos n Pumpkin candies n Green Sour Punch Straws n Clear plastic cups STEP ONE: Prepare the instant pudding according to the package instructions and pulverize the Oreos in a food processor (we have a Ninja and it works great for this purpose).

STEP TWO: Layer the Oreos and pudding in a clear plastic cup.

STEP THREE: Put a pumpkin vine in the center (a Sour Punch Straw cut in half) and then three pumpkin candies. If this were a true pumpkin patch, the vine would actually be attached to the stem of the pumpkin, but this is way easier.

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11th ANNUAL ROTHSCHILD LECTURE

EVENING LECTURE

Photo by Daniel Nicoletta

HARVEY MILK through a JEWISH LENS

DR. LILLIAN FADERMAN

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 18 7:30 PM Oxford Presentation Room 1390 Oxford Road Emory University LILLIAN FADERMAN is an internationally known scholar of lesbian and LGBT history and literature, as well as ethnic history and literature.

Copies of Dr. Faderman’s award-winning book, Harvey Milk: His Lives and Death, will be available for purchase.

This event is free and open to the public.

Please join us for a reception following the lecture.

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October 25, 2019 Ads 13

A&E

Jim Farmer Adam Rippon is used to making history. At age 28, he became the oldest U.S. figure skating Olympic rookie since 1936. Later, at the 2018 Winter Olympics, he took home a bronze medal in the team event, becoming the first openly gay man to win a medal at the Winter Games. Last year he also won “Dancing With the Stars” with partner Jenna Johnson. In his just-released book “Beautiful on the Outside,” Rippon details how he grew up to be a figure skater. Georgia Voice caught up with Rippon recently to talk about the book before he comes to Atlanta as part of the Book Festival of the MJCCA (Marcus Jewish Community Center of Atlanta) on Sunday, Nov. 3.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 15

14 A&E October 25, 2019

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A&E CONTINUED FROM PAGE 14 How did this book come about?

“I kinda feel like I am at this point in my life where one chapter is ending and another is beginning. I have lived my entire life as an athlete and I learned a lot of lessons that I bring into my everyday life. I am not in sports anymore and I wanted to share those lessons.”

In the book, you mention that you didn’t want to be gay. Why not?

“I didn’t. I had been teased for being gay before I ever knew what it was and I did not want to be this thing that I was being made fun of. I thought being gay was something to keep hidden and not share with others, but I got to the point where life takes over and you meet people and you have new experiences. The only way for me to move forward and be happy was to come out to my friends and family. Eventually, I wanted to share my story.”

You did seem to have a strong support system.

“I did. I am lucky with the friends I had and my family. My experience coming out was not like it was with other kids. Mine was simple and easy.”

Yet there was some bullying?

“There was. What kept me from more bullying is that I was so focused I did not notice it. There were times when it couldn’t be missed, but at the end of the day I enjoyed who I was.”

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How did your life change after the Olympics?

“My life changed pretty drastically. All of a sudden from being in the rink all day training I was traveling and speaking. There was a lot of entertainment work. It was something I always dreamed of doing but I didn’t know how I would find my way there. I am lucky – I was given a lot of opportunities.”

What was it like to be the United States’ first openly gay athlete to win a medal at the Winter Olympics?

“That wasn’t important to me at all. I was there to represent my country to the best of my ability. I went there as authentically and honestly as I could. I am proud that I was able to help my team win a medal. Being gay is a fun fact about me but it doesn’t define me.”

Did you ever imagine you’d become America’s Sweetheart?

“I didn’t. I said it very jokingly and it seemed to catch on.”

Did you ever meet Sally Field’s son, after she good-naturedly played matchmaker?

“I did. I met him a few months after the Olympics and he was a little embarrassed but it was super nice to meet.”

What is your advice for young kids struggling with their sexuality?

“I would tell them to take their time. There is no rush. Do it on your own time and find a support system that you trust. And know that if you are feeling you are part of the LGBTQ community, you will have a whole new family who will have your back.”

What’s next for you?

“I’m enjoying this book tour and I just signed a deal with Quibi to do a show next year called “This Day in Useless Celebrity History” as part of their daily platform.

It will be funny and I am looking forward to it.”

To catch Adam Rippon in person, visit the Book Festival of the MJCCA at 7:30pm on Sunday, Nov. 3.

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October 25, 2019 A&E 15

ACTING OUT

A “Wicked” Good Time for Atlanta Theater Jim Farmer

Two LGBTQ favorites – the musicals “La Cage Aux Folles” and “Wicked” – are getting splashy productions in the ATL right now, courtesy of Out Front Theatre Company and Broadway Across America, respectively.

“La Cage Aux Folles” debuted in 1983 and is based on the popular play and film about a long-time gay couple and the chaos that ensues when their son brings his fiancée’s conservative parents to meet the family. This version is directed by Out Front Theatre Company’s artistic director Paul Conroy.

“La Cage Aux Folles” has long been the most requested show by patrons, says Conroy, whose company is starting its fourth season.

“La Cage” was supposed to be the first show the company ever staged in 2016 but the rights to “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” became available and Conroy opted for that instead, especially as that it had never had a Georgia engagement. Yet the “La Cage” timing was right now. “We have been around enough now and people know us, so we wanted to do a title that people would recognize that would get those who had not been able to see one of our shows to see one,” he says. “‘La Cage’ seemed like a natural fit.”

He talked a lot with the cast about the fact that it’s an old-fashioned show but one that feels almost more relevant now that samesex marriages are so prevalent and have been front and center. “You have this couple that has been together for 20 years,” he says. “I told my lead actors – you are together for love. There is nothing legally binding you together. There are still many couples that are like that, that have been together for so long. Even when marriage equality came along, marriage isn’t something for everyone.

16 Columnist October 25, 2019

“WICKED” COURTESY PHOTO

I think the show holds up because people now feel comfortable seeing a love story on stage that mimics their own love story and relationship. It doesn’t feel like something hidden any more. “ Actor Justin Wirick has long been obsessed with the show “Wicked” – the prequel to “The Wizard of Oz” – and he jumped at the opportunity to join the touring cast when a job was offered to him. He is coming up on his 10th anniversary in January as part of the national tour’s large ensemble. Every night, he has roughly 15 costume changes. He gets to be a flying monkey, a student at Shiz, a guard, an official, and a citizen of the Emerald City.

“The two hours and 45 minutes goes by really quickly,” he says.

He saw the show when he was 15 and vividly remembers thinking he would be the perfect addition. “It was always a goal of mine,” he admits. He loves every city and performance and is in no hurry to look elsewhere. Job security is hard to come by in the industry and he laughingly refers to his gig in “Wicked” as the government job of

musical theater.

Almost every gay man has a connection to ‘The Wizard of Oz,” he feels. “When I was little, it had such an influence on my life.

Ruby slippers – I wanted a pair; they were splashy and magical. You fall in love with Judy Garland and there is dancing, colors and The Yellow Brick Road.”

Wirick was born in a small town in Philadelphia and always wanted to get out of there and travel. This gig gives him the opportunity. He has been touring since he was 20. He was part of a national tour of “West Side Story” and this is his second Atlanta gig of “Wicked.”

SHOWING TIMES “La Cage Aux Folles” Out Front Theatre Company Through Nov. 9 “Wicked” Fox Theatre courtesy of Broadway Across America Through Nov. 17

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EATING MY WORDS

Let’s Talk About Tacos Cliff Bostock

on the required but seldom used trompo, a vertical rotisserie. The pork is slow-roasted under a weeping pineapple. Diced pineapple is also added to the taco. Another notable is the carnitas plus chicharrones – pulled pork combined with little chunks of fried pork rinds. Of the two quesadillas, I preferred the fried one filled with cheese from Oaxaca, but you’ll love the chorizo one if you need meat.

All of these are of course filled with ancillary ingredients and perfect red and green salsas.

You cannot here or at Velvet dump stuff from a salsa bar on the food.

“You can find some variation of a taco on almost every menu across the country,” says an essay on the website of the new Supremo Taco in Grant Park. It’s true. If you fold any kind of ingredients into a tortilla – or any flatbread – the result is typically called a taco now. The problem with that isn’t the adoption of a Mexican cultural icon’s basic form. The problem arises when the taco is robbed, so to speak, of its cultural interior – the ingredients that distinguish it. It’s like being a Mexican-American in Trump’s world: Your food’s fine as long as you keep it bland, but your origins – what makes you you – are unacceptable. So please remove the braised tongue and put bland cheddar cheese and hamburger on that tortilla.

I have mixed feelings about this issue, partly because of my own recent experience. A few weeks before I visited Supremo Taco, I lunched at Velvet Taco in Buckhead. Nothing about the menu at Velvet is very Mexican except for the use of tortillas. It seems in fact that the restaurant’s name refers to its extremely rich Red Velvet Cake – not exactly a Latino pastry. I sat next to a painting of a very white Victorian woman orgasmically devouring the cake, whose icing streaked her cleavage.

But I can’t lie. I loved most of the tacos! My favorite was a special that probably won’t be around until next summer, but it illustrates

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the chain restaurant’s approach. It ­­­­ featured four of my favorite flavors – fresh figs, pulled pork, arugula, and a crema spiked with Hatch green chiles. The regular menu includes classics from other countries, like chicken tikka from India. You get crispy chicken tenders, a spicy tikka sauce, buttered cilantro, basmati rice, raita crema, and Thai basil. Another is based on Middle Eastern ingredients: falafel patties wrapped in lettuce with tahini crema, arugula, tomato, pickled Fresno chiles, avocado, pickled red onion, and pea tendrils. Now that’s weird because you can order falafel wrapped in pita bread – doughier than a tortilla but just as flat – with other ingredients in most any Middle Eastern restaurant.

So I loved the oddities at Velvet, but I loved the more traditional at Supremo Taco even more.

This is a mainly takeout joint that shares the parking lot with Grindhouse Killer Burgers on Memorial Drive. Your alternative to takeout is eating on a patio where you have to stand. Now, Supremo looks like a traditional taco stand in Southern California, but it and especially its website are punctuated with hip Chicano signifiers. That’s no surprise since it has been opened by the eccentric owners of 8Arm and Octopus.

What’s to eat? My favorite has been the barbacoa, here made with juicy lamb. But you’ll also want to try the al pastor, cooked

I urge you to try both places. Be mindful.

Pay attention to the feelings evoked by the cultural dissimilitudes. Are you at Supremo Taco craving a Taco Supreme from Taco Bell? Feel your shame. Now let your inner (or outer) Chicano eat what tastes good.

Cliff Bostock is a longtime Atlanta restaurant critic and former psychotherapist turned life coach; cliffbostock@gmail.com.

MORE INFO Velvet Taco 35 West Paces Ferry Road 470-400-3900 VelvetTaco.com Supremo Taco 701 Memorial Drive 404-965-1446 SupremoTaco.com

October 25, 2019 Columnist 17

BEST BETS Our Guide to the Best LGBTQ Events in Atlanta for October 25-November 8 Friday, Oct. 25

Mix and mingle with LGBTQ+ business professionals, allies, non-profit leaders and more as the OUT Georgia Business Alliance (OGBA) – formerly known as the Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce – hosts its October Fourth Friday, hosted by BB&T. 5:30 – 7:30pm Out Front Theatre Company For the ninth year, the Grant Park’s Halloween Lantern Parade is ready to welcome in Halloween. All are invited to take part in this Halloween season tradition at Grant Park where you can make a lantern and walk the parade. Leading the parade around the park path is the Black Sheep Ensemble with the Krewe of the Grateful Gluttons giant puppets and goblins. The Wasted Potential Brass Band will bring up the rear and DJ Tabone will be on hand to handle dancing after the parade.

6 – 10pm Grant Park The San Francisco based, all-male Chanticleer brings their “Trade Winds” show to Atlanta.

8pm Sandy Springs Performing Arts Centre

Saturday, Oct. 26

“Wicked,” the Broadway sensation, looks at what happened in the Land of Oz … but from a different angle. Long before Dorothy arrives, there is another young woman, born with emerald-green skin – smart, fiery, misunderstood and possessing an extraordinary talent. When she meets a bubbly blonde who is exceptionally popular, their initial rivalry turns into the unlikeliest of friendships … until the world decides to call one “good,” and the other one “wicked.”

7:30pm, through Nov. 17 Fox Theatre Come get Halloween started right and attend a screening of the 1925 Silent Film “The Phantom of the Opera” starring Lon Chaney. Featuring Randy Elkins, as theatre organist, the event – which is free and open to the public – is part of the Druid Hills Presbyterian Church Organ Restoration Project.

EVENT SPOTLIGHT Friday, Oct. 25

For the ninth year, the Grant Park’s Halloween Lantern Parade is ready to welcome in Halloween. All are invited to take part in this Halloween season tradition at Grant Park where you can make a lantern and walk the parade. Leading the parade around the park path is the Black Sheep Ensemble with the Krewe of the Grateful Gluttons giant puppets and goblins. The Wasted Potential Brass Band will bring up the rear and DJ Tabone will be on hand to handle dancing after the parade. 6 – 10pm. Grant Park (Publicity photo) All donations will go 100% towards the restoration of DHPC’s AeolianSkinner organ.

8 – 10pm TEN Atlanta sponsors the Forest of the Gallery costume contest.

11:30pm

Sunday, Oct. 27

Continue partying all night with Halloween magic at Xion after hours with DJ Morabito.

3 – 7am BJ Roosters At the Day of the Dead Festival, guests enjoy traditional dancing, crafts, and authentic Mexican food and entertainment.

View a display of altars honoring lost family and friends that are decorated with flowers, food, and beverages. Admission is free.

Noon – 5pm Atlanta History Center

7:30pm Out Front Theatre Company

Charis Books and More celebrates Nic Stone’s newest book, “Jackpot: All Bet$ Are Off,” a pitch-perfect romance that examines class, privilege, and how a stroke of good luck can change an entire life. Nic will be in conversation with local YA author Becky Albertalli, who wrote “Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda,” which became the film “Love, Simon.”

6 – 7pm

Tuesday, Oct. 29

Monday, Oct. 28

Return to light the black flame candle with the classic 1993 Bette Midler romp “Hocus Pocus.” Prizes will be awarded for the best costumes. The screening is hosted by Phoenix, Molly Rimswell, & Iv Fischer.

7:30 and 10pm Plaza Atlanta

Announcing: Stage to Screen! In partnership with Out on Film, Out Front Theatre Company will be hosting a special screening of “The Birdcage” tonight to coincide with the company’s production of “La Cage aux Folles.” Get your tickets fast to see this comedy classic inspired by the Tony Award-winning musical.

Join the OUT Georgia Business Alliance (OGBA) – formerly known as the Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce – for its Membership Orientation to learn about how to best utilize your business membership.

Sponsored by BB&T, and held at their Atlantic Station offices. 5:30 – 7:30pm

Wednesday, Oct 30

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BEST BETS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 18

Thursday, Oct 31

Not trick or treating? Come to Eddies’ Attic as Hannah Thomas joins forces with Jason Hawk Harris.

7pm The ninth annual Haunted Hoedown scares up a crowd tonight, with cash and prizes for best costume.

8pm Heretic Atlanta

Friday, Nov. 1

Join MAAP on the first Friday of each month for its “It’s Friday – Mix, Mingle and Network” event. This is a great way to start your weekend right and connect with new friends and business contacts over drinks, laughter, and good professional conversation.

6pm My Sister’s Room Don’t miss PALS Atlanta’s second annual Fur Ball Masquerade. VIP admission – beginning at 7pm – is $100/ person and includes a VIP cocktail hour, a gift bag, and all general admission benefits. General admission – beginning at 8pm – is $75/person and includes an open bar, heavy passed hors d’oeuvres, live entertainment, a souvenir mask, a silent auction, beats by DJ Sed the Saint, and a masquerade mask contest.

Egyptian Ballroom of the Fox Theatre Out Front Theatre Company presents the musical “La Cage aux Folles” tonight. Georges is the owner of the La Cage Aux Folles nightclub, which features a drag show starring his partner and the love of his life, Albin. After 20 years of unwedded bliss, Georges and his partner Albin face the hardest challenge of their relationship yet: meeting their son, Jean-Michel’s fiancé’s parents. Albin has always raised Jean-Michel, Georges’ biological son, as his own. But when Jean-Michel falls in love and becomes engaged to the daughter of an ultraconservative, anti-gay politician, Georges feels compelled to try to present a more “traditional” family. When Albin tries and fails to take on a masculine persona in the role of Uncle Al, he gets more

EVENT SPOTLIGHT Friday, Nov. 1 – 2

Part-time Atlanta native Elton John brings his “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” tour to State Farm Arena tonight and tomorrow.

8pm (Publicity photo)

creative in order to find a way to be part of the “meet the parents” experience.

8pm, through Nov. 9

Saturday, Nov. 2

Bearracuda is back to celebrate 10 years at the Heretic Atlanta. DJ Paul Goodyear and very special guests will be making this a fun night to remember.

10pm – 3am

Sunday, Nov. 3

Play pool and enjoy beats by DJ Tron.

Bulldogs

Monday, Nov. 4

Trans and Friends is a youth-focused group for trans people, people questioning their own gender and aspiring allies, providing a facilitated space to discuss gender, relevant resources and activism around social issues.

6:30 – 8pm Charis Books and More The PFLAG support group for parents

and families of LGBTQ children meets today.

7:30 – 9pm Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta

Wednesday, Nov. 6

Tuesday, Nov. 5

Thursday, Nov. 7

With an anti-abortion majority on the Supreme Court and several states attempting to outlaw abortion altogether, many activists are on the defensive, hoping to hold on to reproductive rights in a few places and cases. How did we get here and how do we build a fighting movement for abortion rights and full reproductive justice? In her new book “Without Apology,” Jenny Brown uncovers a century of legal abortion in the United States until 1873, recalls women’s experiences in the illegal days, and shows how the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s really won abortion rights. Brown talks about the book tonight.

7:30pm Charis Books and More

Get your trivia on tonight.

8pm Woofs Atlanta

Get adventurous for Blackout Night.

7pm Atlanta Eagle

UPCOMING Saturday, Nov. 9

Charis Books and More turns 45 years old today. Come celebrate with an all-day party and sale. Everything in the store is 10% off and if you spend more than $45 in the book store or become a monthly cornerstone donor to Charis Circle, our non-profit, you get a free Charis Books and More tote bag.

10am – 7pm

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20 Best Bets October 25, 2019 TheGeorgiaVoice.com

BEST BETS

EVENT SPOTLIGHT Friday, Nov. 8

Topher Payne’s “Swell Party” opens at Onstage Atlanta tonight. It’s 1932, and 20-year-old orphaned tobacco heir Smith Reynolds has returned from New York to his family’s Winston-Salem estate with a surprise souvenir: a wife. The new Mrs. Reynolds is notorious Broadway star Libby Holman – a dozen years older than Smith.

She arrives with a trunkload of gin and an acting coach who is quite possibly insane.

Smith’s guardian, Kate Reynolds, attempts to manage the scandal- giving Libby a crash course in Southern decorum. A party is thrown to introduce the newlyweds to society, but it’s flat-out ruined when the groom turns up dead. The guests are gathered to reconstruct the evening’s events for a beleaguered County Solicitor, but they fail spectacularly, which shouldn’t be a surprise. 8pm, through Nov. 24. (Publicity photo)

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20 Condom Couture ATL hosts its inaugural fashion show benefiting Planned Parenthood Southeast Advocates. See spectacular Masqueradethemed garments on the runway designed using over 1,000 colorful condoms by local creatives Sarah Lawrence, Mo’Dest Volgare and more. The prophylactic fashion runway event will feature performances by RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 2 contestant Nicole Paige Brooks.

8 – 10pm Westside Cultural Arts Center

Tuesday, Nov. 12

To commemorate the 90th anniversary of the birth of Anne Frank and the 75th anniversary of her last entry in her diary, the Clark Atlanta University Philharmonic Society will present a performance of “Annelies” tonight.

This stunning choral work, by James Whitbourn, brings to life the diary written

by Annelies (Anne) Frank between 1942

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and 1944 when she and her family hid in the back of an Amsterdam warehouse.

7:06pm The Temple

Wednesday, Nov. 13

No wire hangers – ever!! Wussy Wednesday returns with one of the best camp classics ever – “Mommie Dearest,” hosted by Brigitte Bidet and Molly Rimswell. Arrive and grab a cocktail and snack and take some photos before the look contest.

7:30pm

Thursday, Nov. 14

Point Foundation invites you to join A Night On Point. The evening will feature remarks from Point scholars and staff to help increase awareness of Point’s mission and work, as well as an introduction to how individuals and companies can help support Point’s programs and initiatives.

7:30 – 9:30pm 721 Miami Circle NE, Atlanta, GA 30324-3025

October 25, 2019 Best Bets 21

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

The Act of Sexual Repression Melissa Carter A fashion trend at Pride had me and a friend talking. The colorful display that gay men don made me realize in this discussion how sexually-repressed women still are.

A straight male friend attended a Pride party that Sunday before the parade and was educated on the system for knowing what certain gay men want. For instance, one man at the party was wearing a red necklace with a lock and asked my friend if he knew why it was red.

“It means that I’m into fisting,” was his follow-up, making my friend’s brows rise.

My first thought was how efficient this was.

This man knew what he was into, was happy to let others know immediately, and in doing so was able to sift out sexual partners that he was likely not compatible with.

My second thought was how different this was from what a woman is trained to be in regards to her sexuality.

Women are taught that sex is a bad thing, and that she shouldn’t explore this part of her being until the right man comes along and shows her what to do. She waits to be asked out, told she should never call a boy, and has to experience an elaborate proposal from him before she can get married. Hell, even in some wedding ceremonies you have someone giving her away for her to enter marriage. And in cases of sexual assault, the first question is usually what the women did or what she was wearing as if women are always responsible for their own pain.

Of course, most of us outgrow that ideology, but it’s a slow build. Even lesbians are affected since most of us didn’t start out dating women. And even when we are in relationships with other women there is 22 Columnist October 25, 2019

always the ignorant question, “So, who’s the man in the relationship?” as if not having some kind of male influence is offensive.

I’m all about female empowerment, but if you want to make real change you have to nip the problem at its source. It’s not enough to tell a woman as an adult to shake off all she’s known and encourage her to be a badass at the office, at home, or in bed. Her internal dialogue at that point has already been established to let her know there are limits to what she should do.

I’m encouraged by our efforts to teach kids to be more accepting of people of different colors, nationalities, religions, and sexual orientations.

We are evolving in the way we relate to each other, but we still need to encourage youth to be more accepting of themselves and the power they have in their own lives.

Our society has a long way to go in our comfort with sex. It has a longer way to go in allowing women to be sexual and remain independent and powerful. This man at Pride knows what he wants and used his attire to communicate that. If a woman had the same necklace on and made the same comment, she would not be looked at the same or with any respect. By men or women. Both gay and straight.

One of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta, Melissa’s worked for B98.5 and Q100.

Catch her daily on theProgressive Voices podcast “She Persisted.” Tweet her! @MelissaCarter TheGeorgiaVoice.com

SOMETIMES ‘Y’

The 25% Sweet Spot in Gay Dating Ryan Lee The “Who Viewed Your Profile” section for most of my dating apps should be renamed “Guys Who Dodged Your Shot.” Whenever I click on that feature, it’s usually a recap of men with whom I have unsuccessfully flirted, and so instead of showing me guys who are potentially interested in me, it’s more of a confirmation of those who are not.

Over 20 years of online cruising, I’d estimate at least 87.5 percent of the men I have complimented or courted have ignored my message, blocked my profile, or otherwise made it clear that any attraction was nonreciprocal. In a testament to my delusion or conceit, I’ve never internalized those rejections as having anything to do with me.

That’s not to deny that some guys were turned off by my face, my height, my weight or my age; while others probably curved me because of my skin color, or sexual position, or HIV status; or they didn’t like the gap in my teeth, or the size of my head, or the way my left eye droops and creates a crooked gaze; or because I ride my bicycle instead of drive a car, or already fucked his roommate or best friend, or smoke weed the way most people drink coffee.

Any of those have likely been factors in my advances being rebuffed, just as I have my criteria to eliminate the 87.5 percent of suitors whose romantic or sexual interest I cannot match. Some of those standards are arbitrary or uncontrollable, while others are blatantly shallow or perpetuate an oppressive beauty code, such as my aversion to guys whose eyes are too far apart.

There’s been a liberal campaign to correct compatibility and what folks find desirable, particularly by chastising those who consider TheGeorgiaVoice.com

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ethnicity or body size when deciding who to hook up with or pursue a relationship. While racist and problematic mindsets certainly manifest in dating and sexual practices, it is proximity – more than prejudice – that explains why most relationships are intraracial, for the same reason a majority of violent crimes are white-on-white or black-on-black.

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It is not inherently bigoted to be, exclusively, aroused by and attracted to those with whom you are culturally familiar and genetically similar. It only becomes hateful when you try to regulate other folks’ desires with your worldview, whether questioning the authenticity of someone who dates outside of his ethnicity or insisting that a pure heart would be attracted to anyone.

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The attempted re-education around intimate desire feels as conscripted as ex-gay therapy, and tries to manage folks’ hearts with the egalitarian principles of a human resources office. While it might be inspiring if a guy interrogated his initial disinterest in me and determined his rejection stemmed from patriarchal, selfloathing capitalism, I still think I would rather be with someone who loved me more than he loved the generosity of progressive romance.

When I reject someone or am turned down by a guy I’ve approached, a judgment has been rendered about our compatibility, not my or his desirability. It’s an instance where there is no overlap between the 12.5 percent I’m interested in and the 12.5 percent who desire me, but we can both sate our dating thirsts by realizing the cup is a quarter full.

October 25, 2019 Columnist 23