The Georgia Voice - 12/7/12 Vol.3, Issue 20 by Georgia Voice

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EDITORIAL

Editor: Laura Douglas-Brown lbrown@thegavoice.com

Publicity photo via Bravo

The Georgia Voice

OUTSPOKEN IN THEIR OWN WORDS “There are some of my family members that are not thrilled that you can see me kissing a man in the show’s promos, but it’s an important part of my life. You can be Persian and gay.”

Deputy Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

— Reza Farahan, star of “Shahs of Sunset,” which appears on Bravo at 10 p.m. on Sundays (Huffington Post, Dec. 3)

Web Manager: Ryan Watkins rwatkins@thegavoice.com Art Director: Bo Shell bshell@thegavoice.com

“Ryan is not gay. I’m 100 percent sure. If you spend two minutes in his presence, you would never ask that question.”

Contributors: Melissa Carter, Brent Corcoran, Jim Farmer, Shannon Hames, Topher Payne, Matt Schafer, Steve Warren, Ryan Lee

BUSINESS

Publisher: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com

— Reza Farahan, commenting on rumors about “Shahs of Sunset” executive producer Ryan Seacrest (Huffington Post, Dec. 3)

Associate Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com

National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

“I hope all LGBTQ youth know that they are as valuable as anyone else, that they are amazing and unique, and make the world a more vibrant place.”

Publicity photo

Sales Executive: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com

BOARD OF ADVISERS

— Pop singer Katy Perry, accepting the Hero award Dec. 2 from the Trevor Project, which works to prevent suicide among LGBT youth. (AOL Music, Dec. 3).

Richard Eldredge, Sandy Malcolm, Lynn Pasqualetti, Robert Pullen

Photo via Facebook

“When I decided to run, I said either you come out and become an activist and have a major role there or I run for Congress. There was no way I could have been out and won.” — U.S. Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) on his first run for Congress in 1980. Frank, who came out in 1987 while serving in Congress, is retiring after 32 years in the U.S. House. (Washington Post, Dec. 3)

“It’s important to have a parent speak about raising a magnificent, proud, intelligent, funny, lovable, sexy gay son. And there are so many parents who are frightened of that and who don’t embrace their children as they struggle. Those children are struggling to embrace who they are, what nature intended them to be.”

Screen shot via OWN

— Sally Field, discussing her gay son Sam, during a Dec. 2 interview with Oprah Winfrey on “Oprah’s Next Chapter.” (Towleroad.com, Dec. 3) photo

All material in the Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by the Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request. A single copy of the Georgia Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from the Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year. Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to the Georgia Voice, 1904 Monroe Drive, Suite 130, Atlanta, GA 30324. The Georgia Voice is published every other Friday by The Georgia Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices. The editorial positions of the Georgia Voice are expressed in editorials and in editor’s notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Georgia Voice and its staff. To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Email submissions to editor@thegavoice.com or mail to the address above.

12.07.12 NEWS CDC HIV chief steps down. Page 4 HIV infections increasing among youth. Page 4 Cathy Woolard named interim AID Atlanta executive director. Page 6 UGA may soon offer domestic partner benefits. Page 6 Georgia cities fail LGBT equality ratings. Page 6 Emory University student government denounces Chick-fil-A. Page 8 Atlanta City Council supports gay marriage. Page 9

A&E ‘Real Man Adventures’ explores gender, sexuality. Page 11 Books: Give the gift of words. Page 12 Events: Atlanta Freedom Bands, Hanukkah ‘Festival of Lights.’ Page 12 Film: ‘Any Day Now’ explores gay adoption. Page 15

FOOD & DRINK ATL lesbian chefs cook up recipes so you don’t get ‘Chopped.’ Page 16 How to avoid common kitchen nightmares. Page 19 Cozy meals to warm you this winter. Page 21 Cocktails to give and receive for the holidays. Page 22 Food Porn: Memories and the secret to eternal youth. Page 24 Come ‘Out in the Kitchen’ with gay Chamber of Commerce. Page 24

CALENDAR Pages 26-29

COLUMNISTS That’s What She Said: Melissa Carter’s best laid plans don’t always work out. Page 30 Domestically Disturbed: Topher Payne’s bad, bad neighborhood. Page 31 facebook.com/thegavoice twitter.com/thegavoice

GA Voice

December 7, 2012

News

www.theGAVoice.com

Openly gay CDC HIV chief reflects on ‘humbling’ journey Fenton: Much work remains to protect young gay men from HIV

become sexually active in our schools and ensuring that we are equipping them with the right information so they can make informed choices when they do become sexually active.” And when young people do begin having sex, it is important for the CDC and other agencies and organizations to meet them where they work, study, play and socialize “in ways that are meaningful so they can continue to protect their health,” Fenton said. “Part of that engagement of young people will involve working with our community partners and focusing on strengthening access to HIV screenings,” he said.

By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com Dr. Kevin Fenton has much to be proud of during his eight years at the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, especially the strong relationships he and the federal agency forged with local and community-based organizations. Fenton steps down from his position as director of the National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD & TB Prevention after a seven-year tenure on Dec. 21 and returns to his home in the U.K. on Dec. 31. Dr. Rima Khabbaz, director of the Ofﬁce of Infectious Diseases, will begin serving as acting director of NCHHSTP on Jan. 2, 2013, while a national search is conducted to select a permanent director. Prior to holding the top HIV division post, Fenton worked as chief of CDC’s National Syphilis Elimination Effort. In April 2013 he begins his new job as Director for Health Improvement & Population Health for Public Health England. “It really is bittersweet,” Fenton said in a phone interview with the GA Voice about his leaving the CDC. Working with so many dedicated professionals — in the CDC, local health departments, community groups and the private sector — has been a humbling and powerful journey, he said. But Fenton looks forward to returning

A gay man and a gay leader

Kevin Fenton steps down this month after seven years as the director of the National Center for HIV/ AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD & TB Prevention. (Photo courtesy CDC)

home, reuniting with his partner who moved back to England two years ago, and beginning a new chapter in his professional career. Implementing the ﬁrst United States domestic national HIV strategy is at the top of Fenton’s list of proud accomplishments with the CDC. Still, he remains worried about the trend of gay men, especially young gay men and

young black gay men, continuing to be the population with the highest rates of HIV infections each year. “It’s not only HIV but also increases in STDs such as gonorrhea and syphilis,” Fenton said. “That really suggests to me that we need to be ensuring that we are both identifying young people who might be at risk before they

Hard-hitting campaigns such as the CDC’s “Testing Makes Us Stronger,” an effort that speciﬁcally targets young black gay men about knowing their HIV status, are also invaluable to ensuring a healthy gay male population, Fenton said. “As a gay man and gay leader, I’m always been committed to ensuring we can do the best we can for the communities that are hardest hit,” he said. Over the last seven years the CDC has ramped up HIV testing, creating culturally competent resources and utilizing social marketing campaigns such as “Testing Makes Us Stronger” to reach populations most at risk. “The Testing Makes Us Stronger” campaign is the ﬁrst time the CDC really showed strong images of black gay men and also showed that caring about one’s health is valuable. Schools — yes, public schools — need to put aside homophobia when teaching sex ed and make sure LGBT students are also considPlease see CDC on Page 6

Gay, bisexual young people at highest risk for HIV infection Factors include stigma, lack of prevention education Every month, 1,000 young people in the U.S. become infected with HIV. Drug and alcohol use and unprotected sex are major reasons youth are becoming infected at alarming rates, according to a new CDC Vital Signs report released this month. In a Nov. 27 conference call with reporters, CDC leaders said more must be done to ensure youth ages 13-24 are tested for HIV as well as educated about the preventable disease. “This is our future generation and the bottom line is every month 1,000 youth are becoming infected with HIV,” said Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, director of the CDC. “The cost of care is approximately

$400,000 over a person’s lifetime. “That means every month we are accruing $400 million in health care costs, and every year that totals $5 billion. It is just unacceptable that young people are contracting a disease that is preventable,” he added. In 2009, youth ages 13-24 accounted for almost 7 percent of the 1.1 million people in the country living with HIV. Some 59 percent of the youth infected do not know they are positive, according to the CDC. “Overall, an estimated 12,200 new HIV infections occurred in 2010 among young people aged 13-24, with young gay and bisexual men and African-Americans hit harder by HIV than their peers. “In 2010, 72 percent of estimated new HIV infections in young people occurred in young men who have sex with men. By race/ethnicity, 57 percent of

estimated new infections in this age group were in African-Americans,” according to the CDC. The CDC reports that of the 1,000 infections a month of young people, four out of five are males. Young gay and bisexual men are the hardest hit, accounting for 87 percent of male infections in youth. African American gay and bisexual men are hit even harder. Young gay and bisexual men are more likely to have multiple sex partners, use drugs and alcohol before a sexual encounter, as well as not use condoms, which puts them at the highest risk, the report shows. In a 12-state study of high school students in 2010, the CDC found that gay and bisexual males reported having four or more sexual partners and 20 percent used injection drugs, Dr. Kevin Fenton, the outgoing director of the National Center for HIV/

AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD & Tuberculosis Prevention, said in the conference call. Those who identify as gay and bisexual also were more likely to report they had not received education in school about HIV. Stigma, homophobia and discrimination play roles in high infection rates among youth, Fenton added, and many youth also do not have access to health care. “If we are going to see a generation free from AIDS, we are going to have to intensify HIV prevention for all young people especially for gay and bisexual young males, both in health care settings and in the community, like schools and other community organizations,” Frieden said. — Dyana Bagby

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GA Voice

December 7, 2012

News

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Cathy Woolard named AID Atlanta’s interim executive director Former Atlanta City Council president Cathy Woolard is now serving as interim executive director of AID Atlanta. “I’m very excited to work with the board and the management team of AID Atlanta during this pivotal time of transition for the agency,” said Woolard in a prepared statement. She became Georgia’s first openly gay elected official when she won the District 6 seat on the Atlanta City Council in 1997; four years later, she was elected as the first woman and first openly gay person to serve as City Council president. She ran for Congress in 2004, losing to Cynthia McKinney. Woolard has served in numerous nonprofit leadership roles for such organizations as the Human Rights Campaign, Planned Parenthood of Georgia, CARE and the Atlanta Beltline. Woolard has also served as lobbyist for Georgia Equality, the statewide LGBT group.

Cathy Woolard (courtesy photo)

AID Atlanta continues its search for a fulltime director since Tracy Elliott resigned as executive director in June. — Dyana Bagby

Atlanta scores 82 for ‘municipal equality’; other Ga. cities fail LGBT ratings Atlanta scored 82 out of 100 on LGBT issues in the new Municipal Equality Index released by the Human Rights Campaign. Three other Georgia municipalities — all known for being LGBT-friendly — received much lower scores: Decatur received a score of 27, the North Druid Hills area of Dekalb County received 15 and Avondale Estates, home to openly gay State Rep. Karla Drenner, scored 8. The report examines almost 50 LGBTrelated criteria in 137 cities, including the 50 state capitals, 50 cities with the highest populations in the country, and the top 25 large

cities, top 25 medium-sized cities, and top 25 small cities with the highest concentrations of same-sex couples identified in the 2010 U.S. Census. Scores are based on policies and procedures and are not a measure of the “climate” for LGBT people, since some areas can seem friendly and accepting even without actual laws on the books, HRC stressed. Decatur City Manager Peggy Merriss has said she plans to resubmit the city’s survey. — Laura Douglas Brown

UGA domestic partners may soon be eligible for some benefits Domestic partners of University of Georgia employees may be eligible for some benefits by the end of the year, according to the Athens Banner-Herald. UGA President Michael Adams said he wants to make available “soft” benefits to domestic partners, such as dental insurance, by the end of the year. According to the Athens Banner-Herald, Adams has written a letter to University System of Georgia Chancellor Hank Huckaby “asking for clarification to make sure he can also extend health insurance

benefits to unmarried partners.” The fight for domestic partner benefits for UGA employees has been a long battle by LGBT activists and others. The University of Georgia’s University Council approved domestic partner benefits for employees on Sept. 27. Adams has said he hopes to have the benefits implemented by the end of the fiscal year and the day he steps down as president after serving for 17 years — June 30, 2013. — Dyana Bagby

Kevin Fenton participated in a recent town hall meeting with community HIV/AIDS specialists to discuss specific ways to reduce infection rates among black gay men. (Photo by Dyana Bagby)

Fenton: Don’t forget HIV in fight for LGBT equality CDC, continued from Page 4 ered and given information they need to know to stay safe, Fenton said. Abstinence may be the best way to remain HIV negative, but school administrators are better serving their communities when they realize some teenagers are sexually active and take that into account when designing curriculum. But it is also the role of gay organizations, particularly national gay organizations, to ensure HIV/AIDS prevention remains at the top of the list of priorities, he said. “I think for many gay organizations, national ones, we have been necessarily focusing a lot on marriage equality and other big issues that I think are important to our community,” Fenton said. Those issues remain important, but HIV/ AIDS cannot be forgotten in the fight for equality by those it impacts most, Fenton stressed. “We have to take responsibility to protect our health,” he said.

Understanding all ‘drivers’ of HIV

Fenton said that he is proud the CDC is also taking a leading role in understanding that behavior is not the only reason some people, including gay men, take risks with their health and become HIV positive.

Poverty, racism, homophobia, high rates of incarceration, stigma, discrimination — all of these also can lead to increases in HIV infections. “We’ve accelerated our efforts to focus on not just the individual behaviors ... but the social, cultural and contextual drivers of HIV,” he said. During his last year at the CDC, Fenton traveled the country to hold town hall meetings about how to combat HIV, especially among young gay men. The message from local health departments and community organizations was clear. “The consistency of the messaging we heard was heart wrenching — whether it was homophobia and racism, especially by black and Latino gay men, or issues related to rejection by family or church,” he said. “To hear stories of young gay men kicked out of their homes because they came out to their parents and then were homeless and turned to drugs or sex and seroconverted in the first year — this really illustrates the depth of the work we need to do,” Fenton said. Safer sex is no longer seen as something that should be practiced consistently and there is no sense of urgency in staying safe, he said. “We have to focus on issues related to equity and social justice and ensuring lives of LGBT people are valued and supported by communities and families across the country,” he said.

GA Voice

December 7, 2012

News

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Emory student government denounces Chick-fil-A Despite opposition, campus unlikely to remove fast food chain By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com Emory University’s Student Government Association approved a resolution denouncing Chick-fil-A as a campus vendor due to the fast food chain’s stands on LGBT rights. The Dec. 2 vote was 18-3-3 and “signifies a statement by SGA that they support the LGBTQ community at Emory and encourage the university to reconsider its relationship with Chick-fil-A,” according to the Emory WEheel, the student newspaper. Atlanta-based Chick-fil-A faced renewed criticism earlier this year after its president, Dan Cathy, made comments reaffirming the company’s opposition to gay marriage. Chickfil-A’s nonprofit foundation, the Winshape Foundation, also funds organizations that oppose LGBT rights. It is unlikely, however, that university officials will force Chick-fil-A off campus. “In the State of the University Address, University President James W. Wagner stated … the University would not encourage Sodexo to remove Chick-fil-A,” the Wheel reported. In October, leaders from seven student LGBT groups sent a letter to Emory administrators decrying the ongoing presence of Chickfil-A on the Decatur campus and asking Emory, named one of the most LGBT-friendly campuses in the Southeast, to end its “contractual relationship” with the fast food chain immediately. “This company has long been a concern for LGBT students, faculty, and alumni because of its anti-gay ideology and activities. What was merely a source of anxiety on campus in recent years has now escalated into an ideologically potent symbol of discrimination and inequality,” reads the letter, dated Oct. 2 and delivered Oct. 8 to Emory President James Wagner and Senior Vice President Ajay Nair. In late August, members of Emory’s LGBT alumni group GALA sent letters opposing the relationship and students began posting flyers in protest. “As alumni of Emory University, we would like to formally request that the Chick-fil-A company be removed from our beloved campus. Chick-fil-A’s ideology of hate and intolerance is not compatible with our University Mission Statement,” reads an Aug. 23 letter sent by GALA leaders to Emory President James Wagner. The letter calls it “ironic” that latest round

Fliers like this have appeared on the Emory campus denouncing Chick-fil-A, which is included in a campus dining facility. (Photo via the Facebook group “Support All Emory Students, Say No to Chick-Fil-A”)

of controversy over Chick-fil-A occurred in the same year that Emory’s Office of LGBT Life celebratesd its 20th anniversary, alumni backed a $250,000 endowment for the office, and Wagner himself made an “It Gets Better” video. “If we do nothing, we are just as guilty as if we had made contributions to those hate groups directly,” concludes the letter, signed by GALA Co-chairs Lilly Correa and Ryan Roche. In a separate letter, GALA also expressed concern that the university’s Goizueta Business School holds a mandatory student retreat at the WinShape Foundation campus in Rome, Ga. WinShape was created by Chick-fil-A founder Truett Cathy and is the company’s main vehicle for philanthropic donations. Emory officials issued an initial response to concerns about Chick-fil-A back in August, stressing the school’s commitment to diversity but also declining to sever the relationship with the fast-food chain. “Emory University has a long history of creating access, inclusion, and equity for Emory’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer students, faculty, staff and alumni. Recent public statements by Dan Cathy, president of Chick-fil-A, do not reflect Emory’s values as an institution,” read the statement from Senior Vice President and Dean of Campus Life Dr. Ajay Nair. “Nevertheless, freedom of expression and an open exchange of ideas are also central tenets of the Emory community. Emory therefore respects the right of people to express their disagreement with Mr. Cathy by not patronizing Chick-fil-A,” Nair said.

News

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December 7, 2012

GA Voice

Atlanta City Council votes to support marriage equality Symbolic resolution puts council ahead of mayor on gay rights By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com The Atlanta City Council voted 11-2 on Dec. 3 to pass a resolution supporting marriage equality. The vote puts the council ahead of Mayor Kasim Reed, who has stated publicly he does not

support marriage rights for same-sex couples. City Councilmember Alex Wan, who is gay, presented the resolution to the full City Council. “Folks in the community have been asking and encouraging me to do something. And with Atlanta being the city it is and having such a large LGBT population, I really wanted us to

be one of the leaders in the discussion on marriage equality,” Wan said. “This was also very important to me.” For the past two months, Wan said he has been answering questions from council members who wanted to know, for example, the difference between marriage equality and civil

unions and why it was important to make a statement even though the resolution has no legal impact on gay marriage in Georgia. “Some didn’t understand the concept of marriage equality and civil unions. Some wanted to know why the city should take a position on this when it has no impact,” Wan said. “I explained to them the symbolic statement it makes and that it was more than just having the rights.” Wan was very pleased with the 11-2 vote. The two “no” votes were from Howard Shook and C.T. Martin. Wan spoke with Reed about his resolution at the beginning of his process to get the council’s support of same-sex marriage. “We had a good conversation about it. It wasn’t about him. This was a position I wanted my City Council to take,” Wan said. “I respect his process.” Sonji Jacobs, spokesperson for Reed, issued a short statement when asked if the mayor had a reaction to the council’s vote: “Mayor Reed respects the decision of the Atlanta City Council in passing a resolution supporting marriage equality.” Reed met with LGBT advocates in June to discuss his stance, but despite the pressure, was still was not willing to change his position even after President Barack Obama came out in support of gay marriage. Reed said earlier this year he was still struggling with the issue of supporting full marriage equality. “I respect President Obama’s decision to stand in support of marriage equality. I have fought hard for the rights of gays and lesbians my entire political career from protecting adoption rights for gay and lesbian families, to voting against Georgia’s constitutional ban on same-sex marriage as a state senator, to serving as the state house sponsor for the only hate crimes bill ever passed in the state of Georgia,” Reed said in a statement at the time. “While I am still wrestling with my own personal beliefs on the issue of marriage, I deeply appreciate the contributions gays and lesbians make to our city every single day and I remain committed to Atlanta’s vibrant and diverse LGBT community,” he said. While the Atlanta City Council’s resolution has no legal impact and it remains illegal to get married in Georgia, other councils as well as mayors are stepping up to make symbolic statements of their support for marriage equality. In September, the Austin, Texas, City Council passed a resolution in support of same-sex marriage. Last year in North Carolina, the Durham City Council also passed a resolution in support of gay marriage. The Freedom to Marry organization also began a Mayors for Freedom of Marriage campaign this year. Some 289 mayors from 33 states have signed onto the pledge.

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GA Voice

December 7, 2012

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ARE YOU

MAN ENOUGH? T Cooper, Amy Ray and Scott Turner Schofield reunite for Charis fundraiser By Dyana Bagby

“Real Man Adventures” by T Cooper is not a memoir. Really. “It’s not a memoir! I swear!” Cooper states in an email interview. His book “Real Man Adventures” (McSweeney’s, $23) includes stories about his life, but is so much more. Besides, Cooper stresses, he’s only 40 and that hardly qualifies him to write a memoir. “There’s a part of the book where I say that the book is ‘a meditation on masculinity with some autobiographical elements’ — and that’s completely true. I mean, it’s a collage: there’s a bunch of interviews in there, conversations, straight journalism, artwork, a couple poems, letters and some essays,” he says. Cooper, the author of “Lipshitz Six, or Two Angry Blondes,” “The Beaufort Diaries” and “Some of the Parts,” returns to Atlanta for a Dec. 15 event also starring playwright and actor Scott Turner Schofield and hometown favorite singer/songwriter (and one-half of Indigo Girls) Amy Ray. Dubbed “Tall Tales and Real Man Adventures,” the evening is a fundraiser for Charis Books & More and will include interviews, performance and singing. As a trans man, Cooper is well aware of gender and has been unafraid to broach the topic in fiction. But he said now is the time to delve into it head-on through non-fiction. “I think we as a culture are pretty much beyond the tranny-tell-all books where you start at Point A with the unhappy childhood being ‘trapped in the wrong body,’ on through the torture of high school, and finally end at Point B with explicit description about surgeries, hormones, social transition, etc.,” Cooper says. “I don’t think every book about a trans person’s life needs to cover that material anymore.”

‘A common thread’

Schofield, an Emory graduate who jumpstarted his career at Charis Books more than a decade ago, is excited to collaborate with Ray and Cooper — this performance marks the third time they’ve worked

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com ‘Tall Tales and Real Man Adventures’ Saturday, Dec. 15, 7 p.m. Star Bar 437 Moreland Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307 Cost: Buy a copy of ‘Real Man Adventures’ at Charis and a ticket is $5; or, tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door www.t-cooper.com www.charisbooksandmore.com www.amy-ray.com www.undergroundtransit.com together in Atlanta over the years. “The first time we performed together we all noticed a tangible commonality … all our work somehow deals with gender and sexuality. And we are all working through own experiences. But we could feel a common thread,” Schofield says. While the three share a common thread, they are also very different by working in different mediums, he adds. Currently living in France and performing his one-man play, “Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps” — yes, in French — Schofield longs to call Atlanta home. “I’ve been in Atlanta since 1998, but I keep leaving, moving to L.A., Alaska, France. Then I keep coming back. [Atlanta] is like a

Amy Ray, T Cooper and Scott Turner Schofield reunite Dec. 15 for ‘Tall Tales and Real Man Adventures.’ ( Ray courtesy Daemon Records, Cooper by Ryan Pfluger, Schofield by Abby Gaskins)

dramatic ex-girlfriend. But I truly love Atlanta,” Schofield says. His dream job is to be a talk show host who interviews artists of all kinds. The Dec. 15 show will be structured like a talk show with Schofield interviewing Cooper and Ray, with Ray closing out with a musical set. Attendees are invited to submit questions to the Charis Facebook event page (http:// on.fb.me/TG8dEA) for “Tall Tales and Real Man Adventures” as well, Schofield says.

Exploring gender

One question for Cooper — does he think about gender all the time? The answer is no. Except when he does. “I mean, I have the luxury of not having to think about it,” he says. “And I like it that way. That said, I deal a lot in the book with this exact question — that is, the times when I have to think about it, when there are safety issues, medical issues, privacy issues, or the rare times when people are being unknowingly (or more rarely, knowingly) insensitive, etc, just a whole slew of times when I am reminded of things that might be different about my way of going through the world.” For Ray, gender is not so easy to define in a binary world.

“I am half and half and whatever you call me is fine,” she says. “I work every day to be comfortable in my body and in rare transcendent moments, I am, but it’s the job of my lifetime to appreciate my physicality and always project what is inside me so I can celebrate this life I’ve been given.”

Support for Charis

All three praise Charis and feminist bookstores with Schofield and Ray acknowledging the Atlanta landmark’s role in lifting up their careers. “Charis and stores like it are a touchstone for me. I try to visit feminist bookstores when I travel because they have such a great community vibe and always point me in the right direction,” Ray says. For Schofield, his career literally began at Charis with the performance of “Underground Transit” at the bookstore more than a decade ago. “Charis has literally been there from the beginning for me. And now Outwrite is closed. We’re watching these important places close and we don’t want to see it happen to Charis,” he says. “We just have so much respect for Charis. If for nothing else go to this show to support Charis.”

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GA Voice

December 7, 2012

A&E

BOOKS

Give the gift of Last minute ideas for your gay bibliophile

www.theGAVoice.com

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“Alexander McQueen: The Life and Legacy”

Judith Watt (Harper Design, 2012) An incredible telling of visionary designer Alexander McQueen’s personal and professional life, from his modest childhood to top runway shows.

“Are You My Mother?”

By Alison Bechdel (Harcourt, 2012) Lesbian cartoonist Alison Bechdel explores her complicated relationship with her mother in this intellectual, introspective graphic novel.

“The Art of Fermentation”

By Sandor Ellix Katz (Chelsea Green, 2012) All you ever wanted to know about fermentation with writing basic enough for readers to make everything from their own yogurt to meads, wines and ciders.

“Born This Way”

By Paul Vitagliano (Quirk Books, 2012) “Promosexual” Paul Vitagliano takes his popular blog of the same name and transfers it into book form that includes 100 memories of growing up LGBTQ.

“The Chicken Chronicles”

By Alice Walker (New Press, reprint 2012) This memoir from the acclaimed author of “The Color Purple” is based on Walker’s experience raising chickens, but is really about much more.

“For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough”

Edited by Keith Boykin (Magnus, 2012) “Coming out, coming of age and coming home” are the themes of this anthology that includes pieces by G. Winston James, Tim’m T. West, James Earl Hardy and others.

“I Hate Everyone … Starting with Me”

By Joan Rivers (Berkley Hardcover, 2012) Joan Rivers pulls no punches in this book packed with punch lines and celebrity gossip — and not for the easily offended.

“Later Poems, Selected and New: 1971-2012”

By Adrienne Rich This final volume by celebrated lesbian poet Adrienne Rich, who died in March 2012, includes 10 powerful new poems as well as previously published pieces.

“Need”

By Todd Gregory (Kensington, 2012) Cord Logan is a vampire stalking the French Quarter who succumbs to his carnal desires as he longs to break a curse that could end all of civilization.

“No Straight Lines: Four Decades of Queer Comics”

Edited by Justin Hall (Fantagraphics, 2010) Explore 40 years of queer cartoons that cover complex issues with humor, insight and style, from famous artists to those whose work deserves broader attention.

Support your local, gay-owned booksellers: Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave. Atlanta, GA 30324 www.brushstrokes.us Charis Books and More 1189 Euclid Ave. Atlanta, GA 30307 www.charisbooksandmore.com “A Not So Model Home”

By David James (Kensington, 2012) Amanda Thorne is a Realtor who can also solve murders and is asked by a client to appear on a reality TV show to help him find his soul mate. Second in a series.

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FILM

by Gregg Shapiro

One Fine ‘Day’

Based on true story, ‘Any Day Now’ explores gay adoption

This year ends on an especially high note for LGBT ﬁlm with “Any Day Now” (Music Box Films), starring out actor Alan Cumming as Rudy, a gay West Hollywood man who must deal with a prejudicial and antiquated court system as he attempts to adopt a boy with Down syndrome in 1979. Cumming gives the performance of his career and even has the opportunity to sing a couple of numbers in the movie. “Any Day Now” is written and directed by straight ﬁlmmaker Travis Fine, an Atlanta native, based on an original screenplay by George Arthur Bloom. “There was something that drew me to this notion of this outsider trying to raise this child, trying to save this child — the Rudy character and the young boy being outsiders,” Fine says, noting that he added the character of Paul, Rudy’s closeted partner, who was not in the original script.

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com ‘Any Day Now’ Opens Dec. 21 Landmark Midtown Art Cinema 931 Monroe Drive, Atlanta, GA 30308 www.anydaynowmovie.com

“There was also something in the situation that moved me as a parent,” he says. “I wasn’t exactly quite sure why it spoke to me, but it did in a deep profound way.” The ﬁlm is set in 1979 West Hollywood, but could just as easily have taken place in 1989 or 1999. Fine said he chose to keep the earlier time period because the original screenplay was based on a true story, and to explore “the gritty, character-driven” style of 1970s cinema. “From a political point of view, the story would be different, certainly in Los Angeles in 2009 or 2012,” Fine says. “But as we all know, there are still certain places, even within this country, where the story wouldn’t be that much different. There would be some of the same

‘Any Day Now’ stars Alan Cumming (right) as Rudy, a gay man who wants to adopt Marco, a boy with Down Syndrome, played by Isaac Levya (center). Garret Dillahunt (left) is Rudy’s closeted partner, Paul. (Publicity photo via Facebook)

challenges and hurdles and obstacles.” Fine says he was thrilled to have openly gay actor Alan Cuming in the lead role. “As a straight ﬁlmmaker who had the honor of telling an important, profound and moving story about a chapter in the late ‘70s of the LGBT movement, it was incredibly important to have Alan take on that role,” Fine says. “Not only is Alan a sensational actor, an incredible talent and a wonderful human being, but he’s an OBE, an Order of the British

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Empire, knighted by the Queen for his work on LGBT rights and equality,” he says. “He is not just giving lip service to equality. He has fought that fight and been a vocal champion and proponent of equality and LGB T rights.” Rudy begins carrying for Marco, a teen with Down Syndrome, after he visits a neighboring apartment to complain about noise and finds the young man abandoned by his mother. Isaac Levya’s performance as Marco is “brilliant,” Fine says, noting that he edited the character to fit the actor. “We put out a nationwide search for the kid, both through traditional agents and managers and casting directors around the country and also through the Down Syndrome Associations all around the country,” Fine says. “We saw people as young as 12 and 13 and some that were as old as their mid-20s. Isaac, from his very first reading which I saw on my computer, his first audition tape, there was something so charming, so sweet and honest about his performance,” he says. “It didn’t feel like acting.” “Any Day Now” has won several awards at film festivals, has crossover appeal and the potential to be remembered fondly at Oscar time. As the film heads to wider release this month, “I hope the audiences find it,” Fine says. “While it can be challenging to sit through at times, and it certainly covers some heavy political and emotional and personal issues, it is ultimately a crowd pleaser.”

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EVENTS

by Ryan Watkins

Atlanta Freedom Bands perform ‘Holiday Fantasy’ Annual concert includes sing-along, Santa surprise

“When the “I Am” leads, the path follows!”

Thrive Effortlessly Live Fully Craft Your Journey as the Sacred You Trinity Center for Spiritual Living Your Spiritual Oasis in the Heart of Atlanta Inspiring & Consciousness Expanding Sunday Services at 11:00 A.M. 1095 Zonolite Rd. Suite 100 Atlanta GA. 30306 www.trinitycrs.org 404-296-6064

The Atlanta Freedom Bands will kick off their 20th performance season Dec. 15 with their annual holiday concert, this year titled “Holiday Fantasy,” to be held at North Decatur Presbyterian Church. Tickets to the event are $10 for general admission and $5 for students and senior citizens. Musicians from both the Atlanta Freedom Bands Concert Band and the MetroGnomes Stage Band will perform. The concert will feature festive classics and a few surprises, according to Atlanta Freedom Bands President Cliff Norris. Music from “A Nightmare Before Christmas,” “The Nutcracker” and even a meeting between Saint Nick and super-spy James Bond are in the works. “The holiday season always brings festive music and carols,” Norris says. “This year, we wanted to explore some of the more fantastical elements that make the holidays such a magical time.” “We also have a swing-along sing-along so the audience can join in the fun,” he adds. WSB Radio’s Chris Chandler hosts the event. “With a new conductor, a new host and 10 new band members on the stage, we should be set for quite an evening,” Norris says.

New music director to lead AFB

The concert will also feature the debut of the group’s new music director, Dr. Kathleen Fallin.

EVENTS

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com Atlanta Freedom Bands ‘Holiday Fantasy’ Dec. 15, 8 p.m. North Decatur Presbyterian Church 611 Medlock Road, Decatur, GA 30033 Tickets: $10 general admission, $5 students and senior citizens www.atlantafreedombands.com Fallin recently completed her Ph.D. in Music Education from the University of Georgia after spending more than 20 years in the United States Army Bands and several years as a music teacher in public schools in Augusta. And as a transgender woman, Fallin is one of the few trans conductors in the country, Norris notes.

Atlanta Freedom Bands’ Dec. 15 concert features the debut of new Music Director Kathleen Fallin. (Courtesy photos) “We feel very privileged to have her as our conductor and look forward to many great concerts and programs in the coming years,” he says. Also on tap in the bands’ 20th season is the 2013 Lesbian & Gay Band Association conference, which will be held in Atlanta during the 2013 Atlanta Pride festival. “Already, musicians from 22 different LGBT bands are registered for the event,” Norris says. “We expect to welcome over 200 performers for a huge concert event and the largest-ever marching unit in the Atlanta Pride Parade.”

by Jim Farmer

‘Festival of Lights’ celebrates diversity The annual “Festival of Lights” Hanukkah celebration, held at the LGBT-inclusive Congregation Bet Haverim on Dec. 14, promises activities to appeal to all ages under the overall theme of diversity. Hanukkah is an event that can often seem to appeal more to children than adults, according to CBH Executive Director Amy Robertson. She and the staff are looking to change that. “In our early years, we didn’t have a lot of children here, but over time we have had more and more families,” says Robertson. “We want to make the evening one where everyone can have a great time.” The night begins with a traditional latke dinner at 6 p.m. “It’s on a Friday and we didn’t feel people could come home and cook, so we are providing the latkes here,” she says. Side dishes are suggested, however, for the potluck event. A community menorah lighting follows, then

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com ‘Festival of Lights’ Dec. 14, 6 p.m. Congregation Bet Haverim 2676 Clairmont Road NE, Atlanta, GA 30329 www.congregationbethaverim.org/hanukkah/ the children and adults separate for different programming. The adult service will be led by CBH Rabbi Joshua Lesser. Closing the night will be a serving of donuts and a game of Texas Hold ‘em Dreidel. The dreidel – a spinning top with Hebrew letters on all sides – is normally used as a children’s game, but Robertson promises a version for everyone, not just the kids. This year’s “Festival of Lights” theme is diversity. “Diversity is the origin of Hanukkah,” she says. “There has been a lot of religious intolerance both within and outside the Jewish com-

Rabbi Joshua Lesser will lead Hanukkah services at LGBT-founded Congregation Bet Haverim. (File photo) munity. We are trying to focus on the celebration of diversity.” Bet Haverim was founded by gays and lesbians as a place where Jews can be themselves and bring their entire family. Robertson is a longtime member of the Bet Haverim and has been on staff now for five years. The congregation is roughly half LGBT members and half LGBT allies, she says. Robertson expects approximately 200 at the holiday event.

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PHOTOS

2012 Toy Party Toy Party, the annual benefit by For the Kid in All of Us, drew hundreds to AmericasMart 3 on Dec. 2 for what has become LGBT Atlantaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s premier holiday event. Hundreds of donated toys will be given to children in need. (Photos by Brent Corcoran / RNZ Photography)

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10 common cooking mistakes by Patric Bell

I often tell people, “If you can read, you can cook.” This is assuming they actually want to cook — and believe me, some people just don’t care to bother. Others want to and can’t seem to get it right. A brief question-and-answer period reveals they’ve made a few very common mistakes made by all beginning cooks.

1. Start small.

No one starts at the top. Walk before you run — try a simple roasted chicken before you try to tackle a Turducken.

2. Read the recipe first.

Read the recipe from start to finish, ideally before you start cooking. There is no worse feeling than getting halfway through a mouthwatering recipe and realizing you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.

3. Have all the proper equipment.

That “Grilled Flank Steak Salad with Chimichurri” sounds amazing. But do you have a grill? A food processor or blender? Making a good chimichurri sucks balls without one!

4. Mise en Place.

This is just a fancy way of saying, “Have your shit together.” Making French onion soup? Better have those onions sliced before you melt your butter. Mississippi mud pie? Have that cornstarch measured well in advance of starting your custard.

5. Don’t eyeball.

You watch cooking shows and see Emeril doing it, and Bobby Flay, so, yeah, that looks like a cup of wine! But you aren’t either of those guys and that was really a cup and a half of wine and now what should have been your sauce is only slightly thicker than water and you’re feeling some kind of way about all this cooking nonsense.

6. Know the power of measuring spoons.

Those spoons you stir your coffee and eat your cereal with? They’re called a teaspoon and a tablespoon, but they’re not scientifically calibrated units of measurement, so buy a set of measuring spoons and ignore all references to a “pinch” of anything.

7. Baking powder and baking soda are NOT interchangeable.

Do a Google search on the difference between these two leavening agents and vow to never substitute one for the other again.

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8. Room temperature MEANS room temperature.

Don’t believe me? Just try to whip up a buttercream with butter straight from the fridge. Oh, and have your safety goggles handy.

9. Don’t fry or sauté everything on high.

This is hands down the most common mistake made by the home cook. Even if the recipe you’re following (and you are following the recipe, remember) tells you to fry or sauté something on high, don’t. Opt for somewhere between medium and medium-high and don’t walk away. It might take longer, but you’ll be able to eat it when you’re done and you won’t have to buy a new sauté pan.

10. Leave the tricks to the pros.

You are not a chef. I don’t say that to hurt your feelings, I say it so you don’t attempt to sauté that pan of onions the way you see the professionals on TV do it and end up with sautéed onion abstract art on the ceiling of your kitchen, or flip that pancake into the air and end up with it (and a third degree burn) on your arm. Use a spatula. You’re safe in your own kitchen and no one is going to make fun of you.

Now get to cooking, and good luck! Patric Bell is a chef in Atlanta where he lives with his husband and their two dogs. He offers in-home cooking classes for the beginner cook through his website, www.chefpatric.com

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Cozy meals to warm you this winter

The unseasonably warm weather may not be cooperating for roaring fires and snuggly sweaters, but winter is still the season that makes us crave comfort food — simple, hearty meals that both soothe and satisfy. Don’t feel like cooking at home? Here are 10 of our favorite comfort food meals from LGBTfriendly local eateries. Some are praised by the foodies, some are mainstays of the gayborhood, but all will leave you ready to cuddle up. — Laura Douglas-Brown

Jerk chicken and broccoli casserole at Eats For an inexpensive, satisfying meal, go for the meat-and-veggie plate at Eats. It’s all good, but the broccoli casserole wins extra “comfort food” points; order it with jerk chicken and your choice of other veggies ranging from black-eyed peas to a baked sweet potato. 600 Ponce De Leon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.eatsonponce.net

Fried chicken or pot roast at the Colonnade Forget food like your mother used to make; the Colonnade serves up the food your grandmother used to make. Almost everything on the menu at this “gay and gray” staple qualiﬁes as comfort food, but the famous fried chicken tops the list. Pot roast is another homestyle favorite. 1879 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.colonnadeatl.com

Traditional posole soup at Agave From cayenne fried chicken to veal and chorizo meatloaf, you’ll ﬁnd plenty of Southwestern-style comfort at Agave. No matter what your entree choice, get your meal off to a warm start with the traditional posole soup, a New Mexico holiday soup featuring pulled pork and hominy, plus red and green chiles. 242 Boulevard SE, Atlanta, GA 30312, www.agaverestaurant.com

Fried chicken at Watershed on Peachtree Watershed, owned by Indigo Girls’ Emily Saliers, serves the best fried chicken in Atlanta, but only on Wednesday nights, and

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you have to get there early before they run out. It’s well worth it. If you have room, ﬁnish your meal with the Hot Milk Cake, complete with caramel icing and sea salt. 1820 Peachtree Road, Atlanta, GA 30309, www.watershedrestaurant.com

Black truffle mac at Parker’s on Ponce This Decatur favorite is known for excellent steaks that rival those with much higher prices; if you’re in the mood for cozy food, pair your favorite with the black trufﬂe macaroni and cheese. 116 East Ponce De Leon Ave., Decatur, GA 30030, www.parkersonponce.com

Vegetarian biscuits and gravy at Radial Good food that you can feel good eating: what’s not to love at gay-owned, greencertiﬁed Radial Cafe? Biscuits smothered in delicious rosemary-fennel vegetarian gravy come paired with eggs and your choice of bacon or sausage (including vegetarian sausage, of course). 1530 DeKalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.radial.us

Lasagna at Campagnolo Pretty much all pasta qualiﬁes as comfort food, and while all of the rustic Italian dishes at lesbian-owned Campagnolo are delicious, you can’t beat the free form, made to order lasagna. 980 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309. www.peasantatl.com

Kickin’ chili at Joe’s on Juniper

We might not recommend it for date night (“Beans, beans, the musical fruit”), but if you’re out with friends, warm up with a

Hearty meals that soothe and satisfy: Try the traditional posole soup at Agave, filled with pulled pork and hominy, and don’t miss the famous, Wednesdaynight-only fried chicken at Watershed. (Publicity photos via Facebook)

big bowl of kickin’ chili, made with Angus ground beef and served with cheese and green onions. 1049 Juniper St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.metrocafes.com/joes-juniper

Pancakes at Ria’s Bluebird Lesbian Chef Ria Pell told the judges on “Chopped” that she wanted to be known for more than just pancakes. That’s ﬁne by us, as long as she is still known for these scrumptious pancakes, too. Served all day with hot maple syrup; you can add toasted pecans, caramelized bananas or chocolate chips. 421 Memorial Dr., Atlanta, GA 30312, www.riasbluebird.com

Turkey meatloaf and pudge at Flying Biscuit Of course, you can’t visit without having one of the eponymous biscuits, but if it is comfort food you crave, order the turkey meatloaf and “pudge” — the cuddly name for a family recipe of mashed potatoes with garlic and basil. You can worry about your own pudge next month with your New Year’s resolutions. Multiple locations: We prefer the Candler Park original (1655 McLendon Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307) and Midtown (1001 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309), www.ﬂyingbiscuit.com

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CHEERS TO THE HOLIDAYS Great spirits to give and receive year ‘round December is the time to eat, drink and be merry, but sometimes it’s a challenge to look beyond your favorites for your special toast. We asked the experts at Tower Beer, Wine & Spirits to recommend the best, with price tags from under $10 to almost $5,000 per bottle. Check out these suggestions for casual drinkers and connoisseurs.

Wine with turkey: What’s popular: Belle Glos Pinot Noir Clark & Telephone What we suggest: Éric Texier Côte-Rôtie Vieilles Vignes

Wine with ham: What’s popular: Orin Swift’s The Prisoner Napa Valley Red What we suggest: 2008 Zeltinger Sonnenuhr Riesling Spätlese one star

Three spirits to add to your hot chocolate: Frangelico • Tequila Rum or a Rum-based flavored liqueur such as Kahlua

Cheap but good red wine (under $10): Banfi Col di Sasso Cabernet Sauvignon Sangiovese

Cheap but good white wine (under $10): Alois Lageder Pinot Grigio Riff Terra Alpina

Host/hostess gift: Champagne / Sparkling wine; Add a bottle of Chambord or St. Germain Elderflower liqueur for cocktails!

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Seasonal winter beers to try:

Drink up, big spenders! This Hennessy Richard Cognac goes for almost $3,000 a bottle (Publicity photo)

• Cold Mountain Winter Ale Highland Brewing Co. • White Christmas, Samuel Adams The Boston Beer Company • Frosted Frog Christmas Ale (Winter Warmer), Hoppin’ Frog Brewery

Great alcohol gift under $15: • Eggnog for the holidays; • The Irishman, Irish cream; • Ivanabitch Vodka and flavors.

Alcohol gift if money is no object: • Colgin Cariad 2005 Napa Valley Proprietary Red ($529.99) • Don Julio Real Tequila ($359.99)

Alcohol gift if money REALLY is no object: • Hennessy Richard Cognac ($2,999.99) • 1997 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon ($4,649.97)

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#14: MEMORIES AND THE SECRET TO ETERNAL YOUTH colossal show bar in the ‘70s and early ‘80s. Soon afterward – not long before she left the city — he took her to a big party his parents hosted. His mother called the next day. “It’s your business if you want to date a black girl,” she told him. “But I don’t think it’s appropriate to bring her to a party.” GA VOICE Robert got out of bed and “She completely missed that walked to the bathroom. About Lisa was a man,” he told Joey, a year ago, when he turned who laughed explosively. 49, he started doing his usual Robert long ago lost conmorning grooming virtually tact with Lisa. Joey told him ISSUE without looking in the mirror. she died of MS in a Macon asIt made shaving difficult at sisted-living facility. first and he considered growing a Robert left the club early, feeling beard. But it became easy –a unique skill wor- depressed. He was in no mood for companionthy of performance in a geriatric gay freak ship and decided to get something to eat. Lisa’s show, as he told friends. death made him sad – sad for Lisa, sad for the But Robert knew that the evidence of ag- fact of his own mortality. Unlike most people ing was not just his own mirror reflection. It he knew, he loved to eat alone with a book. was also reflected in the faces of others. A few Atlanta is a late-night party town, but it has days after Thanksgiving, he went to the Back- never had a restaurant scene that accommostreet reunion party at Jungle where he ran into dated it. Two of the few restaurants that stay a few men with whom he partied when he was open even as late as midnight on weekends are barely 20. There was a moment of hesitation Fritti, a pizzeria, and Sotto Sotto, its neighbor before they recognized one another for certain, with a menu of more “serious” dishes. The followed by laughter. two were among Robert’s favorite restaurants. “I thought you were dead,” Robert blurted He decided to hit the less expensive Fritti to one, Joey. for one of the individual-sized pizzas. The carbs “I’m not dead,” Joey said, laughing. “But I would lift his spirits, he told himself. He took a understand. I always assume everyone I knew seat on the banquette and looked around, comback in the ‘80s died of AIDS. By the way, did paring the sedate scene to the raucous perforyou hear that Lisa King died in September?” mance of Charlie Brown’s Cabaret he had just Robert felt his heart sink. Lisa was a well- seen at Jungle. His eyes returned to the menu. known drag performer in the city. He met “Well, hey there, mind if I join you?” her at the Dunk ‘n’ Dine on Cheshire Bridge someone said, startling Robert. across from the Sweet Gum Head, the city’s He looked up to see it was Lee, with whom

Recommended

Robert remembers a drag legend and sees his ‘magical stalker’ again

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Food Porn is a fictional series by longtime Atlanta food critic Cliff Bostock. Set in real Atlanta restaurants, it chronicles the adventures of Robert, a gay man in search of a husband — or at least a good meal. For past chapters, visit www.thegavoice.com he had dined at Bantam & Biddy the night before. Robert had been smitten by Lee and decided to ignore his usual rule to run the moment he felt powerfully attracted to someone. “Of course not,” Robert replied, feeling somewhat conflicted because of his sadness. “Do you mind that I’m stalking you?” Lee asked. Robert laughed. “No, I’m flattered,” he said. “Come here often?” “Nope, never been here. Just decided to check it out,” Lee replied. He looked a bit tousled, wearing a baggy red t-shirt with the fading word “magical” printed on it. “What’s good here?” Robert told him they needed to share the funghi fritti, fried crimini and portobello mushrooms, whatever else they separately ordered. Lee commented that Robert seemed somewhat uncomfortable. Robert apologized and

Fritti 313 N. Highland Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307 404-523-6678, www.sottosottorestaurant.com Good choices: Despite the wave of new pizzerias, this remains the best in the city, according to many. Order the ‘shrooms app. Any pizza is a good choice, but the margherita, the test of any good pizzeria, is definitely the city’s best. Meat eaters should try the speck with arugula.

told him the story about Lisa King. “I’m sorry,” Lee said. “I always avoid reunions. The older I get, the more they become about illness, death, decrepit tricks, and hair loss.” “You can’t be that old,” Robert said, smiling. “I turn 50 in 18 months,” he said. “Well you’re indeed magical then, because you don’t look 40. I’m turning the same age in less than a year,” Robert replied. “Maybe I should stalk you for the secret of eternal youth.” “Love,” Lee replied. “It’s all about love.” “And all this time I thought it was about making a facial mask out of my favorite foods,” Robert said, digging into the mushrooms that just arrived, smelling faintly of white trufﬂe oil. “I will show you the way,” Lee replied, licking one of the mushrooms and passing it through the air before he popped it in his mouth. To read about Lisa King: http://mysp.ac/11yd0Of

GAY BUSINESS GROUP GETS ‘OUT IN THE KITCHEN’ Holiday event features local chefs The Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce’s annual holiday party gets a tasty makeover for 2012. The food-themed “Out in the Kitchen” is planned for the evening of Thursday, Dec. 13. The chamber’s holiday event is always one of the group’s biggest gatherings of the year, but the 2012 version is “a radical departure, and a new concept,” says board member Andria Towne, who is organizing the party. “It has a cocktail/networking vibe, but we have added several LGBT or LGBT ally chefs,” she says. “Everyone loves food and there is a chef craze now. That is popular in culture now and we feel this is an unexplored niche.” The event came together as Towne talked to Eric Waldron of the Renaissance Atlanta Mid-

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com ‘Out in the Kitchen: An AGLCC Holiday Affair’ Dec. 13, 6-9 p.m. Renaissance Atlanta Midtown 866 W. Peachtree St. Atlanta, GA 30308 www.atlantagaychamber.org town earlier this year. The buzz-worthy Briza restaurant is located inside the hotel. “We realized it would be a perfect ﬁt,” Towne says. “Janine Falvo, the executive chef at Briza, is a hot little star. She was on ‘Top Chef’ and she’s won some big cook-offs. She is also an out lesbian.”

After securing the location and Falvo’s participation, Towne reached out to a few other local chefs. “We are not trying to get every chef in town – we want to build this for years to come,” she says. The other chefs involved are Frank Bragg, chef and owner of Radial Café, Patric Bell of Cruzado and Shean Suter of the Atlanta W Midtown’s Spice Market. Bragg and Bell are also gay. Towne says all four chefs will demonstrate cooking at the event and offer bites/samples. What the chefs decide to prepare is still a secret. Towne feels the event should resonate within the community. “In a busy season, we feel people should like this,” she says. “We want to be able to promote members to businesses as well.” Tickets are $20 for AGLCC members and $25 for non-members. — Jim Farmer

Janine Falvo, executive chef at Briza and a ‘Top Chef’ contestant, is among the chefs offering tastings at the Dec. 13 party hosted by Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. (Publicity photo via Briza)

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Calendar

BEST BETS 12.07 - 12.20 SPOTLIGHT

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There are two ways to add your events to our online and print calendars. Submit your info to www.theGAVoice.com or e-mail details to editor@theGAVoice.com.

Friday, Dec. 7

The seventh annual Art Vision raises funds for Positive Impact, which provides mental health and other services for those affected by HIV, and offers the chance to purchase beautiful art for a good cause. This year’s theme is “Uncharted: Travel to Enchanted Lands.” 7-10 p.m. at Stone Four Studios at Studio Plex, 659 Auburn Ave. NE #131, Atlanta, GA 30312, www.artvisionatl.org

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Join Mint Salon for the Naughty and Nice Holiday Gala, a night of fashion, food and beverages complete with silent auction, DJ and door prizes. A portion of proceeds benefits CHRIS Kids. 7-10 p.m. at Mint Salon, 985 Monroe Drive, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.chriskids.org

Friday, Dec. 7 Hometown duo Indigo Girls perform with the Georgia Symphony Orchestra. 8 p.m. at Cobb Energy Center at Cobb Energy Centre, 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway, Atlanta, GA 30339, www.cobbenergycentre.com

City of the South Theatre Company presents “Birds of a Feather,” aka “The Birdcage,” complete with a three-course meal for the Holiday Dinner Theatre at Jungle. Tonight and Saturday at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com Traxx Girls presents Banjee Girl Fridays at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com

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Friday, Dec. 7 - Monday, Dec. 10

Friday, Dec. 7 Saturday, Dec. 8

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The Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus performs its 32nd annual holiday concert, “And on Earth, Peace,” with special guest soprano Megan Mashburn. 8 p.m. Dec. 7, 2 p.m. (followed by free ice cream social) and 8 p.m. Dec. 8 at The Cathedral of St. Philip, 2744 Peachtree Road, Atlanta, GA 30305, www.agmchorus.org

Saturday, Dec. 8 Gay Christian artists Jason & DeMarco perform as First Metropolitan Community Church hosts its annual Christmas Concert and Silent Auction. 7 p.m. at First MCC, 1379 Tullie Road, Atlanta, GA 30329, www.firstmcc.com

The Heretic hosts a weekend of events to celebrate the bar’s 21st anniversary. DJ Lydia Prim spins Friday at 10 p.m., DJ Mickey Friedman from Berlin spins 10 p.m. on Saturday. Monday is the invite-only Customer Appreciation Party from 8-10 p.m., so ask a staff member for an invitation before the event. Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

Saturday, Dec. 8

Lesbian-owned feminist bookstore Charis hosts its annual Holiday Open House and sale from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., followed at 7:30 p.m. by a discussion of the first scholarly book on the work of author Pearl Cleage, who will attend. Charis Books & More, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com Watch or join in the Atlanta Speedo Run as 300 scantily clad runners take to the streets of Atlanta to try to raise $150,000 for CURE Childhood Cancer. Runners need to raise $250 to participate. Run begins at 2 p.m. and takes a 1.5 mile course on West Peachtree and Peachtree streets. www.atlantaspeedorun.org Lost-n-Found Youth hosts a Volunteer Orientation & Training for those who want to help homeless LGBT young people. Background check required; please bring form and $10 to cover costs to class. 2-6 p.m. at the Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave. Suite A, Atlanta, GA 30307, www.lost-n-found.org All male strip club Swinging Richards presents “A Home for the Holidays: A Benefit for Lost-n-Found Youth.” Accepting donations all night and look for prize giveaways from the club and Boy Next Door Menswear. 6:30 p.m. – 3 a.m. at Swinging Richards, 400 Northside Drive, Atlanta, GA 30323, www.swingingrichards.com

Thursday, Dec. 14

Iconic gay filmmaker John Waters performs his one-man show “A John Waters Christmas,” poking fun of the holiday cheer “putting the X in Xmas.”VIP meet-and-greet available. 8 p.m. at the Variety Playhouse, 1099 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA 30307, http://bit.ly/PX74KV

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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< MORE LGBT EVENTS: Visit our website for our extensive daily calendar, including nightlife schedules, sports, worship services and community organization meetings. www.thegavoice.com/calendar

DJ Something Else spins for Dance Party at 8 p.m. followed by Mary-oke with host CJ at 11 p.m. at Mary’s, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com

Expect absurdity as the camp drag Armorettes offer their take on the classic holiday tale “A Christmas Story” to benefit the Health Initiative. 8 p.m. at Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com Singer-songwriter Shawn Colvin performs at 8 p.m. at Agnes Scott College’s Presser Hall, 141 East College Ave., Decatur, GA 30030, www.eddieowenpresents.com Enjoy the “It’s that Time of the Month” comedy show at 8:30 p.m., followed by “Unwrapped,” the annual Toy Drive party for Toys for Tots, at My Sister’s Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com

Daring Divas is the Saturday night show at Blake’s feauring Charlie Brown, Shawnna Brooks, Angelica D’Paige, Savannah Leigh, Michelle Paris and The Lady Shabazz. Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com Shavonna B. Brooks hosts the Extravaganza show with special guest Alexandria Martin at 11:30 p.m. at Burkhart’s, 1492 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

Sunday, Dec. 9

The Atlanta Talons Social Club hosts a Champagne Bust and Holiday Party; bring an appetizer or dessert to share, a toy drive donation, and there is a contest for the person wearing the best tree skirt. 4-6 p.m. at The Hideaway, 1544 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30324, http://on.fb.me/VinBqe

Calendar

The Joining Hearts Wish List party gathers gifts to support the families of Jerusalem house and the teen program at AID Atlanta. Bring a gift from the Wish List registry at Target valued at $25 or more, or a gift card or cash donation of that amount. 6-9 p.m. at 3417 W Paces Ferry Court, Atlanta, GA 30327, www.joininghearts.org

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She Speaks, Inc. presents “The Brown Sugar Vibe’s Diamonds in the Sky Edition” featuring UniverSoul Circus comedian Reggie Jackson. 7 p.m. at Kat’s Cafe, 970 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.lakarafoster.com Join DJ Vicki Powell for the Holiday Mixer edition of her Second Sunday Service. 7-11:30 p.m. at Church, 466 Edgewood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30312, http://on.fb.me/YLoaz9

Monday, Dec. 10

Writing With Intent is open to writers of fiction and creative non-fiction; group offers motivational exercises, constructive criticism and more to keep you on track. 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Charis Books & More, 1189 Euclid Ave. NE, Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com Mary’s annual holiday office party gets underway at 8 p.m. at Mary’s, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com

Tuesday, Dec. 11

Tuesdays, Thursdays and early Saturdays, get your country on with 3-Legged Cowboy nights at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

Wednesday, Dec. 12

Ho Ho Hoedown is the theme for this month’s PALS Bingo, hosted by Bubba D. Licious, Kimora Layou and Brent Star. Doors at 6:30 p.m., program at 7:30 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.palsatlanta.org The Lohan Experience presents “How the Lohan Stole Christmas,” an ABC (Anything But Clothes) party, so make your ensemble out of holiday materials. Dylan Michaels performs; Celeste Holmes hosts. Party at 9 p.m., show at 11 p.m. at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, http://on.fb.me/UDXFIZ

Thursday, Dec. 13

Join judges Barry Brandon, JL Rodriguez, Michael Robinson and special guest judge Catherine Giel for the live auditions for “Sing for Your Life,” a new vocal competition that debuts Jan. 10 and continues for 12 weeks. Some 25 singers from video submissions will be narrowed to 12 contestants at the live auditions. 8 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.singforyourlifeATL.com

It’s “Silent Night, Deadly Night” as Goth Night returns with a special holiday edition. 9 p.m. at Mary’s, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com Inspired by Beats and Traxx Atlanta present Tribal Thursdays, spinning house music (deep, underground and tribal) starting at 10 p.m. at XS Ultra Lounge, 708 Spring St., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.excessultralounge.com

Friday, Dec. 14

Sample bites from LGBT and ally chefs at “Out in the Kitchen: An AGLCC Holiday Affair,” a new holiday event from the Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. 6-9 p.m. at Renaissance Atlanta Midtown Hotel, 866 W. Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.atlantagaychamber.org

Congregation Bet Haverim, Atlanta’s LGBT-founded Reconstructionist synagogue, hosts Festival of Lights, including a latke dinner, community menorah lighting, Shabbat service, Hanukkah songs, Texas Hold ‘Em Dreidel and more. 6 p.m. at Central Congregational UCC, 2676 Clairmont Road, Atlanta, GA 30329, www.congregationbethaverim.org

The LGBT Caucus of the Democratic Party and the Stonewall Democrats gather for a Holiday Party at 6 p.m. at Amsterdam Atlanta, 502-A Amsterdam Ave., Atlanta, GA 30306, http://on.fb.me/WH7ZNX

Lesbian social network Fourth Tuesday hosts a December Happy Hour at 6 p.m. at Mixx, 1492-B Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.facebook.com/ FourthTuesdayAtlanta

United4Safety, which works to end LGBT intimate partner violence, hosts a Holiday Cookie Contest. 6:30-9:30 p.m. at Philip Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.united4safety.org

Southern Bears, for hirsute gay men and their admirers, host a potluck Christmas Party. 7 p.m. at the Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.southernbears.org

“The one and many voices” of Jimmy James come to Backstage at Mixx Atlanta. 8 p.m. at Mixx Atlanta, 1492-B Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.mixxatlanta.com

CONTINUED ON PAGE 29

December 7, 2012

GA Voice

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Tonight is the “Winter Prom” party at OTP gay bar LeBuzz, 585 Franklin Road, Marietta, GA 30367, www.thenewlebuzz.com

Friday, Dec. 14Saturday, Dec. 15

OurSong, Atlanta’s lesbian and gay chorus, performs “Twisted Holiday.” 8 p.m. Dec. 14 at Emory University’s Canon Chapel; 8:15 p.m. at Clayton State University’s Spivey Hall. www.oursongatlanta.org

Saturday, Dec. 15

Billed as “Atlanta’s premier fetish shopping event,” Twisted Toyland also donates profits to Lost-nFound Youth and the Atlanta Community Food Bank. Noon-6 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com Ladies at Play presents a Day Play Party with DJ E from 6-10 p.m. at Aurum, 915 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.ladiesatplay.com The Atlanta Bucks Rugby Club hosts the annual Miss Ruck-N-Maul pageant, a benefit for the club and LostN-Found Youth. 6:30-10:30 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com “Tall Tales and Real Man Adventures” reunites Indigo Girl and solo musician Amy Ray, author T Cooper and performance artist Scott Turner Schofield for an evening of discussions and music about gender, sexuality and more. Benefits Charis Circle. Doors open 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. at Star Community Bar, 437 Moreland Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com Atlanta Freedom Bands perform the “Holiday Fantasy” concert at 8 p.m. at North Decatur Presbyterian Church, 611 Medlock Road, Decatur, GA 30030, www.atlantafreedombands.com “Women of Rock” features Marshall Chapman, Caroline Aiken, Donna Hopkins and Diane Durrett. 8 p.m. at Eddie Owen Presents at the Red Clay Theatre, 3116 Main St., Duluth, GA 30096, www.eddieowenpresents.com DJ Sean Mac spins an opening set for DJ Shane Stiel at Bear Invasion, 9 p.m. – 3 a.m. at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

Friday, Dec. 21

Jennifer Knapp, who made headlines when she came out in the world of Christian music, and Margaret Becker bring their “Hymns of Christmas” to Atlanta. 8 p.m. at Eddie Owen Presents at the Red Clay Theatre, 3116 Main St., Duluth, GA 30096, www.eddieowenpresents.com

It will technically be Sunday morning as Abel spins from 3-7 a.m. at private club Xion, 2241 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.cariocaproductions.com

Sunday, Dec. 16

PFLAG Atlanta hosts its Third Sunday meeting, this month featuring a panel discussion with parents of LGBT people. 2:45 p.m. at St. Mark United Methodist Church, 781 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30308, www.pflagatl.org

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Monday, Dec. 17

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Wear your fugly finest for the inaugural “Ugly Sweater Party” at Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

Tuesday, Dec. 18

Lesbian social group Fourth Tuesday gathers for dinner at 6 p.m. at Nakato, 1776 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.facebook.com/FourthTuesdayAtlanta

Wednesday, Dec. 19

Lost-n-Found Youth hosts a very special Holiday Big Gay Game Show, a fundraiser for their mission to help Atlanta’s LGBT homeless youth. Games include Family Feud, the Newlywed Game, Match Game and more. 7:30 - 10 p.m. at Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.lost-n-found.org

Thursday, Dec. 20

Party at the “Holiday Soiree at the L Lounge” by lesbian party promoter and organizer Anna Ragghianti from 10 p.m. — 2 a.m. The W Hotel-Midtown, 188 14th St. NE, Atlanta, GA 30361. http://on.fb.me/SJQdtA

MEGA Family Project hosts its monthly Waiting for the Stork discussion group for dues-paying members. 7-8:30 p.m. at Coldwell Banker Intown, 1390 N. Highland Ave., Atlanta, GA 30306, www.megafamilyproject.org

The relaunch party for GIRL (Gay Internet Radio Live) features DJ Corey David and a special performance by Phoenix. 10 p.m. At Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com

Enjoy an open “no mic” night as Cliterati wows you with spoken word poets, this month featuring Red Summer. 7:30 - 9 p.m. at Charis Books, 1189 Euclid Ave NE, Atlanta, GA, 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com

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GA Voice

December 7, 2012

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11/29/12 4:26 PM

Sometimes what is meant to be is what you least expect

While running errands the other day, I saw two cars just involved in a fender bender parked on the side of the road. The offender was out of her car approaching the guy she just hit, flashing a flirty smile as I drove by. Even though her charm may have been a tactic to manipulate him from calling the police, it made me wonder about the odd circumstances where couples meet, so I posed that question on Facebook. Among the venues of church or, oddly enough, family reunions, there were some pretty unique answers: • My friend’s wife had a baby and gave me a list of about 40-50 numbers to text a picture of the baby to. One of the girls that responded caught my eye. • An old friend of mine wanted to hook me up with her ex boyfriend, but what she neglected to tell me was that she was just using me to try and get back together with him. We are still together. • I was a teacher and my husband was a single dad and our school’s PTA president. • I was “wing man” for my best friend when she was going to meet someone for the first time at Piedmont Park. Low and behold, the person she was meeting had the same idea and brought back up as well. When we met, I saw her “wing man” and fell head over heals. They didn’t work out but we’ve been together for almost three years now. • I lost a bet and had to pay by going on Match.com for their free week trial and go out with those who contacted me that week. • My car broke down on the road and he stopped to help me, fixed my car, then asked me on a date. • We lived down the street from one another for seven years and I was friends with his older brother. • He was my server.

Melissa Carter is also a writer for Huffington Post. She broke ground as the first out lesbian radio personality on a major station in Atlanta and was one of the few out morning show personalities in the country. Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter

• Coach and assistant coach at a high school. • At his wedding. • Jury duty...and she was the prosecutor. This is true in my own life also. Katie and I met for five minutes at a radio station party. Two years later we randomly ran into each other again when I was least expecting her. But situations like this don’t have to apply to romance. Life-altering circumstances can come while trying to find a job, even for the famous. Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis got the lead roles in “Thelma and Louise” because Melanie Griffith, Michelle Pfeiffer and Jodie Foster turned the roles down. J.K. Rowling got fired from her job as a secretary in Amnesty International, giving her time to write “Harry Potter.” Colonel Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, was 65-years-old and got a Social Security check for only $105. Angry over the low amount, he drove around the country to sell his chicken recipe to restaurants. We spend our first two decades in the structure of school, so it’s natural we would take an expectation of how things should work into the rest of our lives. For instance, we must get the perfect job that will lead to the next perfect job. We must get married by a certain age, so that we can have our 2.5 kids at the correct time. The greatest disappointments come when something does not live up to our expectation. But we forget stories that inspire us the most are the ones about life not following a perfect plan. I am a planner to a fault, but life has taught me that the moments you aren’t expecting are the ones that form the biggest chapters of your life. No matter the issue, life seems to be constantly trying to teach me the same lesson: Some things are just meant to be. Like a fender bender.

Columnists

www.theGAVoice.com

December 7, 2012

GA Voice

DOMESTICALLY

DISTURBED

Bad neighborhood When good enough isn’t good enough

We live in a part of town that people tend to pass through on their way to somewhere more desirable — the remnants of a once-picturesque 1950s suburb built around Avondale Mall. That mall is now a Wal-Mart that managed to grow so sketchy in its brief existence that the Wal-Mart people decided to build another one less than five minutes away. This is a model established to great success by other businesses in our area: Bad Wal-Mart is within spitting distance of Scary Wells Fargo, Don’t Go To That Kroger, and The Pizza Hut Where You Might Die. These businesses exist purely as bait, drawing in the riffraff so they won’t venture over to the location a couple miles away. The bait locations are the secret shame of these companies. They all smell like a freezer that needs a new box of baking soda, and the employees approach their duties with a grim detachment otherwise seen only in maximum security prisons and table reads of Nicolas Cage movies. This is not the scenario we’d hoped for when we bought the place five years ago. In our minds, we were the arrival of the mythic gays. We signaled a bright future of gentrification and block parties. We were so cocky in those heady days, certain our tribe would follow. They’d make it happen through the same hive mind that tells us which female pop star to propel to iconic status, or that we’re all going to wear bow ties this year. “Hey boys,” the Hive Mind would tell our tribe. “The hot new ‘burb is on the bad side of Memorial Drive.” Our tribe did not follow. Thus far, the closest my neighborhood has come to a block party was when all the news vans showed up because of that negligent homicide at the 24-hour daycare. We all got to be on TV! There will be no selling this place. We live between a paranoid schizophrenic and a man who raises pit bulls. Our house, valued in the six figures when we purchased it, is now worth around $35. When a prostitute began operating out of the foreclosed property three doors down, I was re-

Topher Payne is an Atlanta-based playwright, and the author of the book “Necessary Luxuries: Notes on a Semi-Fabulous Life.” Find out more at topherpayne.com

lieved someone was keeping an eye on the place. We don’t hate the house itself, so much as the situation surrounding it. Home ownership turned out to be comparable to marrying Dean Cain in a Lifetime movie. It looks everything you ever dreamed until you make that commitment, and then he just starts beating the shit out of you. We have a long list of things we’d love to do to the place. I have 3D animations of our painted house, with a patio and landscaped yard — the landscaping equivalent of slash fiction. But it’s hard to maintain enthusiasm for a longterm project when your gladiola plantings are interrupted by a car backfiring. Not gunshots. It’s always a car backfiring, and I will entertain no arguments to the contrary. Even if sometimes it’s a car backfiring several times, followed by screaming, followed by sirens. That’s just a car backfiring, which startled a nice old lady so badly she screamed and fainted, propelling her overly cautious personal assistant to call an ambulance. Manufacturing explanations such as these fill a good bit of my downtime, leaving little opportunity for landscaping. We keep the place clean. Our yard is tidy. But in all other respects, our attitudes have begun to mirror the employees of Bad Wal-Mart. But there’s still a small part of me that holds out hope for our Lifetime movie marriage. Our happy ending won’t be a great escape, dashing away in the middle of the night in a bad wig and a pair of sunglasses. Ours would be one of those quieter resolutions, where the monster is subdued and gets some real good therapy. Deciding to push beyond what is expected requires a leap of faith. While I’m not foolish enough to make resolutions for the coming year, I feel safe declaring an intention: This is the year we recommit to making home what we always wanted it to be. Maybe it’ll send a message in our neglected neighborhood that good enough isn’t good enough. Maybe this will change things. Maybe this is how we represent our tribe.

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