12/02/22, Vol. 13 Issue 18

Character Illustrations by T. Dylan Moore

About the cover:

Photo by AJ DeDiego

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FOR DANIEL, RAYMOND, KELLY, ASHLEY, AND DERRICK

Katie Burkholder

I have been struggling to write this editorial for days, because I have been struggling to access my feelings, to know what the right thing is to say.

I am not very experienced with grief. It is only as I have begun to become an adult (I am only 24) that I have come to know grief, to carry it with me and to understand that living is grieving, every day, over and over. It is inescapable, and it is all the time. I have come to understand that grief feels to me like anger and fear, and as I have struggled to find a place of grief in the landscape of my emotional psyche — of true mourning for Daniel Davis Aston, Raymond Green Vance, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, and Derrick Rump — it is anger and fear that I have felt.

As I am writing this, I struggle to know how to put a feeling so hot, so thick, and so sickening into words. So, I will be parroting the words of others — the words from people far more eloquent than I, who have been crucial to how I have processed my fear and anger into mourning.

I am sure I do not have to explain to you why I am scared and angry. I am scared it’s going to happen again, and I am angry because I know that the path our country is on will allow this kind of tragedy to happen again. It was only a matter of time until something like this happened, until the extremist fearmongering of the far right enabled — no, empowered — someone to murder queer people (to even say it was a matter of time isn’t actually correct, as this has been happening, consistently, and especially to Black trans women). Every single far-right pundit who has profited

off of the vilification of queer people, drag queens, and trans women has blood on their hands — and they’re fucking proud of it.

As @2gay2lift on Twitter wrote, rhetoric from right-wing talking heads has not sought distance from the tragedy, but instead has positioned it as a natural response to the supposed “pedophilia” and “grooming” endemic to the LGBTQ community: “So apparently the right wing are skipping the usual ‘They had nothing to do with us’ rhetoric and are instead going with ‘Maybe if all gay people stopped being pedophiles then you wouldn’t get shot so much.”

Even right-wingers know this was not a random act of violence. All the anti-trans bills, all the Don’t Say Gay bills, all the drag queen story hour protests, all of it ends in violence because it is all rooted in violence. There is a war against the LGBTQ community, with every single LGBTQ person positioned as a threat. And how in this country do we respond to threats? With death.

“The ultimate conservative grift is to be able to incite mass death [with] a wave of your hand, face no consequences for doing so thanks to the protection of every institution imaginable, and still manage to position [yourself] as a countercultural victim being threatened by the big bad left,” writer Rayne Fisher-Quann said on Twitter. The right-wing logic is one inherently rooted in victimhood, and when you take the psychological place of the victim, you can do no wrong. You can never face any real accountability — even in matters of life and death — when you think the entire world is out to get you and you’re only, in your mind, defending yourself, your children, and your family.

The murders of Daniel, Raymond, Kelly, Ashley, and Derrick were political, and I am

so mind-numbingly angry about that. But their deaths are not political. They are five people who lived and who are now gone, who have been lost by those who love them. They live in every single one of us who walks into a gay bar, who is publicly queer, who is reading this right now. We can only honor their humanity by opening our hearts up and allowing the excruciating pain of mourning to pour in.

“They should still be here,” @gendersauce wrote on Instagram. “They should be combing their hair or taking their T or kissing a friend or eating breakfast. They should be folding the wash or painting their nails or walking the neighborhood just to feel the cold. They should be hungover in bed or laughing or calling their mom. They should be here. They should be alive. They were alive. Feel the grief. You don’t have to be a stone. Say I love you to your trans community. Light candles for the beloved dead. Do not let your heart go silent.”

As angry and as fearful as I am, and as overwhelming as those feelings can be, I remember that even when evil thrives on Earth, it will never thrive in death. Daniel, Raymond, Kelly, Ashley, and Derrick have returned to the loving fabric of the universe, where there is only peace, honor, rest, and reprieve. I pray that the people who love them are granted the space to love them through full, open, and unadulterated mourning. And I pray that something changes, something unforeseen shifts the tides of our country toward protection, so that no more lives are stolen in the name of political inhumanity. It isn’t until then, and only then, that there will there be any justice.

Find fundraisers to support the survivors and families of victims at gofundme.com/c/act/ colorado-springs-club-q-shooting.

A LOOK AT THE RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE ACT

Victoria A. Brownworth

Read the full article online at thegavoice.com.

On July 19, the House passed the Respect for Marriage Act (RFMA) with 47 Republicans voting in favor of the bill. On November 16, the Senate advanced the bill 62-37, with plans for a final vote after Thanksgiving. Twelve Republicans joined every Democrat in support of the bill. Democrats have made passing the RFMA a top agenda item while they still control both houses of Congress.

Over 70 percent of Americans support samesex marriage and think that those marriages should be recognized by the law, a record high according to Gallup.

The RFMA was sponsored by Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), the first out lesbian in both the House and Senate. Baldwin told Wisconsin Public Radio’s “The Morning Show” on November 18 that she and other Democrats — like Arizona’s Kyrsten Sinema, the first out bisexual in both the House and Senate — worked with Republican senators on an amendment that would quell fears about infractions on religious liberty. Baldwin said the amendment has been endorsed by religious groups like the Seventh Day Adventists, the Church of Latter-Day Saints, and the National Association of Evangelicals. It will be added to the bill as it moves along toward passage.

The RFMA was created in response to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in  Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization which overturned  Roe v. Wade. In his opinion affirming the ruling by Justice Samuel Alito, Justice Clarence Thomas argued that  Obergefell v. Hodges, which legalized same-sex marriage, should also be overturned. Thomas also wants  Lawrence v. Texas, which overturned sodomy laws used against gay and lesbian consenting adults, to be revisited.

This was the proving ground for the RFMA. There are 35 states with constitutional or

statutory bans on same-sex marriage. All these bans were invalidated in 2015 by the Obergefell ruling. But if the Supreme Court overturns the right to same-sex marriages, those state laws and constitutional amendments would be law again, just like anti-abortion laws since Roe was overturned.

A ruling overturning Obergefell would not reverse state laws allowing same-sex marriage: some states had legalized gay and lesbian marriages prior to 2015. Massachusetts was the first to legalize same-sex marriages in 2003. Other states followed: Connecticut, Hawaii, Maine, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and Washington. Pennsylvania legalized same-sex marriage in 2014. Those laws would remain in place.

Virginia repealed its same-sex marriage ban in 2020, when Democrats won a majority in the state legislature. Also in 2020, Nevada passed a voter referendum to remove an amendment prohibiting same-sex

marriage from the books. In January 2022, Democratic New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy signed a law making all marriage and civil union laws gender neutral.

Speaking from the Senate floor prior to the vote, Baldwin said, “This legislation unites Americans. With the Respect for Marriage Act, we can ease the fear for millions of same-sex and interracial couples have that their freedoms and their rights could be stripped away.”

“By passing this bill, we are guaranteeing same-sex and interracial couples regardless of where they live that their marriage is legal and that they will continue to enjoy the rights and the responsibilities that all other marriages are afforded,” Baldwin said. “And this will give millions of loving couples the certainty, the dignity and the respect that they need and that they deserve.”

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer

said that passage of the legislation would be “one of the true highlights of the year for this body” and “one of the more significant accomplishments of this Senate to date.”

Schumer, whose daughter is a lesbian, said from the Senate floor that his daughter and her wife were expecting a baby and that he wanted “them, and everyone in a loving relationship, to live without the fear that their rights could one day be stripped away.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who has been in an interracial marriage with former Trump Cabinet member Elaine Chao since 1993, voted against the bill which also protects interracial marriages legalized in 1967 by the Supreme Court ruling in Loving v. Virginia.

While Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) had said in July he saw no reason to oppose the bill, in September, Johnson, who was in a close re-election campaign, asserted that he had been trying to “get the media off my back” by saying that.

After the vote, Johnson told media that the amendment won’t protect people whose religious beliefs oppose same-sex marriage and that the amendment “leaves a lane open for discrimination by activist groups, state governments and the IRS.”

On November 17, Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT) asked the Republican senators who voted to advance the Respect for Marriage Act to adopt more stringent protections for people who believe marriage is solely between one man and one woman. The proposed Lee amendment bans the federal government from discriminating against anyone who holds a religious belief or moral conviction that marriage is a union between one man and one woman.

If the Senate votes to approve the RFMA, it will go back to the House to be voted on in its modified form before it can be signed into law by President Joe Biden.

PHOTO BY SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / RENA SCHILD

A GUIDE TO THE UPCOMING LGBTQ-RELATED SUPREME COURT ARGUMENT

Read the full story online at thegavoice.com.

The ordinary rights of LGBTQ people are on the line again at the U.S. Supreme Court — this time on Monday, December 5, with a case seeking to allow any business to deny service to a customer by claiming a personal objection to treating that customer the same as others. The footnotes to this oral argument (see below) are as interesting as the argument itself. But, first, here’s a guide to taking in Monday’s historic event:

When: Monday, December 5, 10am. Seventy minutes have been allotted.

The case: 303 Creative v. Aubrey Elenis, the Colorado attorney general. This case was initiated by the Alliance Defending Freedom, a legal group which has focused largely on anti-LGBTQ projects. In this case, ADF sought to restage an earlier case that fell short — Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado — where the group won only a procedural victory. In this case, ADF has asked a web designer to press a preemptive case against the state public accommodations law protecting LGBTQ people, saying that if she did offer wedding page services, she would not want to offer them to same-sex couples because of her religious beliefs.

The appellant: Graphic artist Lorie Smith was recruited by the Alliance Defending Freedom to file this lawsuit even though no same-sex couple had yet come to her seeking a design for their wedding plans. In fact, Smith had not yet even offered to provide wedding site designs for any potential customers. Although Smith said she has had LGBTQ clients, she said she could not do wedding site designs for same-sex couples because of her belief that the Bible prohibits same-sex marriage.

The respondent: The state of Colorado and its Attorney General Aubrey Elenis are defending the state law prohibiting, in public accommodations, discrimination based on “disability, race, creed, color, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, national origin, or ancestry.”

Previous rulings: Both a U.S. District Court and the 10th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals upheld the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act (CADA) in this challenge. The 10th Circuit ruled CADA to be a “neutral law of general applicability” and said it is neither unconstitutionally vague nor overbroad and did not violate the free speech or free exercise rights of the plaintiff.

The question at the Supreme Court: The Supreme Court has dramatically reframed the question posed by attorneys for the web designer. ADF attorneys asked: “Whether applying a public accommodation law to compel an artist to speak or stay silent, contrary to the artist’s sincerely held religious beliefs, violates the Free Speech or Free Exercise Clauses of the First Amendment.” The Supreme Court, in accepting the ADF appeal, posed much larger question, one that does not require a religious objection but

any objection: “Whether applying a public accommodation law to compel an artist to speak or stay silent violates the Free Speech Clause of the First Amendment.”

How to take in the argument: Interested parties can attempt to go in person, read a transcript of the argument, or listen to an audio recording. Written transcripts and audio recordings of the argument are available on the court’s website either 90 minutes after the argument or soon thereafter.

How bad could it be: A worst case scenario decision in 303 Creative could allow any business in the public marketplace (hotels, restaurants, bakeries, web designers, etc.) to refuse service to a customer by claiming to have some personal objection to treating that customer the same as all others.

Outcome LGBTQ people would prefer: A much better outcome for LGBTQ people would be for the court to rule that laws prohibiting discrimination in public accommodations protect people with religious beliefs, as well as others, from discrimination and only incidentally implicate free speech concerns. And, as a brief from the NAACP stated: “Public

accommodations laws are vital to ensuring free and full access to society and its benefits on an equal basis to all. When merchants exclude individuals from commercial transactions based on their identity — as Petitioner wishes to do here — the excluded individuals suffer a stigma that the law is meant to guard against.”

Footnote 1-Hiding behind a beard: The oral argument comes just two weeks after the New York Times reported that Justice Samuel Alito has for years been carrying on cozy relationships with religious conservative groups. The Times obtained a June 7 letter from a former anti-abortion activist to Chief Justice John Roberts in which the activist claims that Alito leaked the outcome of a 2014 religious exemptions case to a personal gathering of anti-abortion donors at his home. The leak enabled anti-abortion groups to move swiftly to capitalize on the decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby. Alito wrote the 5-to-4 majority decision and denied leaking the opinion which held that a federal law may not require a closely held commercial employer to provide health insurance coverage for contraception if that employer claims that to do so violates his or her personal religious beliefs.

Footnote 2-Up front and center: Ten transgender lawyers are scheduled to be sworn into the U.S. Supreme Court Bar just days before the historic 303 Creative argument. The plan to swear in transgender attorneys as a group was initiated two years ago but delayed because of the pandemic. The application asks applicants to indicate if they have ever “changed your name or been known by any name or surname other than those appearing on this application.”

The ten transgender attorneys include Rook Ringer from Florida, Jesse McGrath from California, Ames Simmons from Georgia, and Zsea Ofure Bowmani from Illinois.

Lisa Keen

The Supreme Court Justices PHOTO BY FRED SCHILLING, COLLECTION OF THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES

Staff reports

Read these stories and more online at thegavoice.com

Police Arrest Chase Staub for Threatening LGBTQ Establishments

Atlanta police have arrested a man who posted threatening remarks toward The Heretic, according to Fox 5.

Chase Staub (left) was arrested on Thanksgiving Day after employees told officers that they saw someone making threatening posts toward the bar on social media. Detectives went to 1510 Piedmont Road, where LGBTQ establishments like Oscar’s, Barking Leather, Brushstrokes, and Felix’s are located, and spoke to others who said someone, identified as Staub, entered Felix’s and was asked to leave.

In a video posted to his Instagram story, Staub says, “How to get away with murder? I guess you’ll find out,” while holding what investigators have identified as a pepper spray gun.

X Midtown closed on Thanksgiving in light of the threat.

“Due to the current rheat of safety we are facing in Midtown tonight, we have made the decision to close for the evening,” they wrote on Facebook. “We ask that you all remain vigilant as you plan to spend time with your family and friends during the holiday weekend. We also want to thank APD for their presence and support tonight during a time when we have experienced loss within our community.”

Police arrested Staub at his home. He was charged with terroristic threats and transported to the Fulton County Jail. Investigators have not determined why Staub was threatening the LGBTQ community.

The threats came only days after the mass shooting at LGBTQ Club Q in Colorado

Springs,

Biden Calls Club Q Owners as Community Grapples with Aftermath

As the LGBTQ community continues to mourn the loss of the five people killed in the mass shooting in Colorado, focus is now shifting to a reflection of anti-LGBTQ sentiment that has evolved from prejudice to incitement according to Nic Grzecka, a coowner of Club Q.

Grzecka said he believes the targeting of a drag queen event is connected to the art form being cast in a false light in recent months by right-wing activists and politicians who complain about the “sexualization” or “grooming” of children.

Even though general acceptance of the LGBTQ community has grown, this new dynamic has fostered a dangerous climate, he said.

“It’s different to walk down the street holding my boyfriend’s hand and getting spit at [as opposed to] a politician relating a drag queen to a groomer of their children,” Grzecka said. “I would rather be spit on in the street than the hate get as bad as where we are today.”

President Joe Biden, while spending the Thanksgiving holiday with the first lady and family members in Nantucket,

Massachusetts, called Grzecka and Club Q co-owner Matthew Haynes.

The president and the first lady offered condolences and reiterated their support for the community as well as their commitment to fighting back against hate and gun violence. They also thanked the two men for the “incredible contributions they have made and will continue to make to Colorado Springs.”

The president told reporters enroute to Nantucket — reflecting on the shooting and another at a Wal-Mart store when a night manager opened fire in a breakroom in Chesapeake, Virginia, killing six and wounding at least half a dozen more — that he has plans to support a bill banning assault rifles during the lame-duck session before the next Congress is seated in January.

Colorado Springs is also home to Focus on the Family, one of the largest anti-LGBTQ groups in the United States. The Christian ministry group has opposed same-sex marriage, LGBTQ service in any branch of the U.S. armed forces and continues to advocate for the discredited practice of conversion therapy.

Someone vandalized the sign at the main entrance to the group’s headquarters complex.

In an Instagram post, Grzecka displayed a picture of the vandalized sign with graffiti spray painted in black reading; “Their blood is on your hands five lives taken.”

Colorado, where five people were killed and dozens injured.

Club Q logo IMAGE VIA FACEBOOK

BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR TO MOVE TO RAINBOW CROSSWALK

Katie Burkholder

After more than 40 years, one of LGBTQ Atlanta’s favorite stores will be finding a new home. Due to an expansion of the Atlanta Botanical Garden into its property, Boy Next Door Menswear will be moving to the heart of gay Midtown — the rainbow crosswalk — at the end of this year.

“A few years ago, the Botanical Garden acquired our property where we currently are now,” Rocky Carroll, the co-owner of Boy Next Door, told Georgia Voice. “They told us we’d have a few years to prepare and look for a new place, but they have other plans for our current location. The city is always growing and expanding. They’ve been great to us, and we gotta roll with the punches and keep evolving, too.”

While there is no specific date set for the relocation, Carroll said they plan to move toward the end of December. The new location is being built out, so the transition between stores is expected to be quick.

“I do believe we’ll be able to move in a couple of days, so it will only be a coupleday closure just to transition everything over to the new space,” Carroll said.

Boy Next Door will occupy 1000 Piedmont Ave NE Suite B — the site of the old Piedmont Cleaners — on the corner of 10th and Piedmont, across the street from Zocalo and X Midtown and on the same corner as Caribou Coffee.

The move comes after more than 40 years near Ansley Mall at 1447 Piedmont Avenue NE in the same building as when the store opened in 1980.

“It’s hard to move out of there to a new space because we just have so much history there,” Carroll said. “All the customers remember all the evolutionary changes of Boy Next Door.”

While it’s a bittersweet moment to let go of the historic location, the move is ultimately an exciting one.

“It’s going to be so cool,” Carroll said. “We’re very excited, and everybody is excited too. Everybody we’ve talked to is looking forward to us [moving]. We’ve been in this location off by ourselves for so many years, and it’s our historic location so we didn’t ever want to move from there. But you’d have to take a separate trip to come see us; a lot of customers come from all over, they take Ubers, they walk, they drive. It’s kind of far. So, when we move down to 10th, it’s going to more central for a lot of our customers … It’s closer to a [denser] area, so I think people are excited. It’s more walkable than where we are now.”

While this is a big change for the store, Carroll assured that the new location will house the same store everybody knows and loves.

“Our current space is kind of eclectic and interesting and artsy,” he said. “We’re hoping to capture the same feel when we move, because we’ve always been inclusive, we’ve always had something for everybody. It’s always felt like home; people would come and just hang out. We want to capture that and take that to the new location. We’re hoping to keep it artistic, fun, and welcoming to everybody.”

To learn more about Boy Next Door and shop online, visit boynextdoormenswear.com.

Rodin in the United States: Confronting the Modern is organized by the Clark Art Institute, Williamstown, Massachusetts. This exhibition is supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities. Auguste Rodin (French, 1840–1917), The Thinker (detail), modeled 1903, cast by Alexis Rudier, 1928, bronze, The Baltimore Museum of Art, The Jacob Epstein Collection, 1930.25.1.

VIRAL TIKTOK FOOD BLOGGERS DISH ON ATLANTA’S FOOD SCENE

Fiancés Adam McCabe and Cole Robbins document some of Atlanta’s most incredible eateries on their Atlanta Foodies TikTok account. A colorful array of fresh foods, pastel ombre cocktails, and gorgeous floralladen rooftops adorn the couple’s food blog, which has over 100,000 followers.

“The Atlanta food scene is highly underrated compared to places like New York City, Chicago, Las Vegas, and San Francisco,” McCabe told Georgia Voice. “This is a transient city and there are a lot of different cultures here in Atlanta. We started the account in September 2020 to support local restaurants during the pandemic. The account is a joint project for sure. Cole does the video-ing. I’m on camera always eating the food, and I do the editing.”

Atlanta Foodies focuses on businesses that have unique and visually stunning aesthetics, always checking out the menu and vibe before deciding to commit. Some of their videos have focused on themes like Blackowned businesses, outdoor patios, best rooftops, and best margaritas.

“Cocktails can be very appealing and creative,” McCabe said. “Videos around cocktails and rooftops have done really well. Restaurants that hone in on their aesthetic, that are eye-catching with a wow factor; those videos do really well. The industry is so competitive that you have to separate yourself.”

He mentioned a well-performing video of him at Steak Market Atlanta eating a yellow cotton candy dessert that was fashioned into a Victorian-style wig atop the head of a mannequin.

The couple goes out to eat two to four times a week, and not always to create content. Sometimes the pair set clear intentions not to use their phones in order to stay present for a romantic dinner. Most of their dining is done as a couple, with the occasional group dining experience allowing them to invite friends and family.

When they go to a restaurant or dining experience with plans to review and video the food, they always inform the restaurant beforehand. On these occasions, since their purpose is to try to highlight various menu items, they are often served several more dishes than they can finish.

“We can never eat all the food, and we don’t want it to go to waste,” McCabe said. “Our fridge is literally just a box of leftovers. When people come over, they jokingly ask where our [real] food is.”

The two played up this joke by participating in a viral TikTok trend using audio from “The Loneliest Time” by Carly Ray Jepsen

and Rufus Wainwright. In the video, the two lip-sync the lyrics, “I’m coming back for you,” as they put takeout leftovers in the fridge.

Sometimes the duo partners with big names like Kroger, Sonic, RaceTrac, and Sonny’s, but the majority of their content spotlights local businesses.

Adam and Cole shared some of their top Atlanta dining recommendations:

Favorite Places: The Optimist, Yebo Beach Haus, No. 246, Bastone, Le Colonial

Most Unique Dining: The Select, Steak Market Atlanta, The Garden Room, Atlas

Best Casual Dining: Muss and Turner’s, Little Rey, Muchacho, Hot Dog Pete’s

Best Fine Dining: Umi, Mujō, Georgia Boy/ Southern Belle, Lyla Lila

Best Drinks: Westside Motor Lounge, Bar

Vegan, Biltong Bar, Bar Margot, Little Spirit

Best Dessert: Cafe Intermezzo, Canoe, Miller Union, Lyla Lila

Best Coffee: East Pole Coffee Co., The Daily, Gilly Brew Bar, PERC

One might think the two will eventually run out of new local places to eat, but McCabe assures that there is no danger of that. He referenced an article by atlanta. eater.com stating that over 180 restaurants have opened in Atlanta and metro Atlanta since January.

In December, the couple plans to focus on holiday pop-up bars and rooftop igloos. Follow them on TikTok @atlfoodies and on Instagram @atlfoodiesofficial.

Luke Gardner

TikTokers Cole Robbins (l) and Adam McCabe PHOTOS VIA TIKTOK

OH, HONEY!

BAKE IT WITH AJ IS JUST GETTING STARTED

For as long as he can remember, AJ DeDiego has found peace through baking. His mother, a professional baker and caterer, inspired his love of baking from an early age. Since his early childhood, AJ has been surrounded by his mother’s baked goods and pastries. His first attempt at baking was inspired by “Barefoot Contessa.” One day, after he got home from school, he saw Ina Garten making profiteroles on the TV.

“I was shockingly drawn to it, and I’ll never forget it,” he said.

With a handwritten recipe, AJ made profiteroles and never looked back.

“It became my therapy,” he said. “In high school, I had problems, depression, and coming to terms with myself, and I discovered baking rescued me.”

AJ is self-taught in both business and baking, and he shares his love for baking and easy-to-follow recipes on his website, on Instagram, and at TikTok. He has grown over 16,000 followers across the two social media platforms since 2020, published a cookbook, and participated as a contestant on the “Halloween Baking Championship” on Food Network. Still, this success comes after years of work.

It was in college, where AJ obtained a bachelor’s degree in Architecture, when he started a YouTube channel.

“[My YouTube channel] started everything I have now,” he said. “I didn’t know much about food; I just knew I loved it.”

On the channel, he shares baking tips and recipes for various desserts and pastries, with many gluten-free, keto, and vegan recipes. At first, though, the YouTube channel was hard to balance while working multiple jobs after graduation.

In his first year out of college, AJ got a job at Sprinkles Cupcakes, despite having no culinary experience. While most of his friends were still partying after graduation, AJ says he “would wake up at 3:30am, make hundreds of cupcakes by 8, and I worked weekends.”

While working part time at Sprinkles, he got another part-time position at a highend kitchen supply store and started a wish list of baking equipment, but he says he was very depressed during this time because he could not dedicate much time to his channel and baking.

The need for more income required AJ to find a full-time job, which would limit his time in the kitchen even more; however, a full-time position offered enough income that AJ could eventually invest in his passion.

“I always try to err on the side of positivity, even when it’s really hard to,” he said. One year into his full-time position as a flight attendant with Delta, the COVID-19 pandemic hit.

With a one-year leave of absence ahead, AJ dived headfirst into baking, something he hadn’t done since working full time. With the right equipment, money for ingredients, and more free time than ever, “it was like starting over on better terms … I thought, ‘I can do this.’”

AJ stayed positive during the pandemic and focused on his passion for baking, wondering how to turn it into a full-time career. It was a risk he was willing to take, he says, because “if you’re always in your comfort zone, you’re doing something wrong.”

AJ has been busy since beginning his business and launching an online storefront in January 2021. There, he offers handmade dessert mixes that simply need oil and eggs. In person, he sells his mixes at pop-up tables inside Williams Sonoma at Ponce City Market.

As a one-person show, AJ has done everything himself for two years — from making the mixes to shipping them nationwide while maintaining a solid social media presence. He hasn’t slowed down, either; he wrote a cookbook, “You Can Bake Too!” with recipes for “easy and impressive desserts.” It’s available on his website, bakeitwithaj.com

AJ celebrates his many accomplishments

over the last two years: publishing his cookbook, expanding his online storefront with merch and kitchen tools, making s’mores cookies on “Good Day Atlanta,” and appearing as a contestant in this year’s “Halloween Baking Championship” on Food Network — an experience he says was “intimidating, but I never allowed a moment to second-guess myself.”

His small business has become his sole focus, sharing his passion for baking as priority number one, followed by expanding Bake it with AJ to a commercial space in Atlanta. What started with profiteroles has become a booming business far beyond his wildest expectations. “[Baking] is something I love. It saved me in dark times, and I trusted myself enough to go somewhere with it.”

Follow Bake It With AJ on Instagram: @ bakeitwithaj, TikTok: @bakeitwithaj, YouTube @TastyCakeswithAJ and online at bakeitwithaj.com

Adalei Stevens

AJ DeDiego COURTESY PHOTO

PLAN YOUR HOLI-GAY PARTY

Sydney Norman

Between Daylight Saving Time ending and your family bickering over plates of dry turkey, the holidays can feel a bit bleak. That’s why we’re here to help you throw the perfect holigay party to brighten the season. Get ready to deck the halls and spike some eggnog. Here’s what you’ll need to throw a merry and bright holiday bash and make the Yuletide gay.

PUNCHBOWL DRINKS

Punchbowl drinks are an easy way to serve a crowd. Here are a couple of ideas to please the masses.

Rosemary’s Santa Baby

(Modified from @erekav on Instagram)

• 1 bottle of prosecco (or sparkling grape juice for a mocktail!)

• 8–10 ounces grapefruit vodka

• 15 ounces orange juice

• 5 ounces blood orange juice

• 36 ounces tangerine-flavored sparkling water

• ⅓ cup rosemary simple syrup

• Arils from half a pomegranate

• Fresh rosemary sprigs

• 1 blood orange

Begin by making rosemary simple syrup ahead of time:

In a medium saucepan, combine 1 cup granulated sugar and 1 cup water and bring to a simmer. Stir until the sugar has completely dissolved. Add 2–3 sprigs of fresh rosemary and simmer for 2 minutes more. Remove from heat and allow the pot to sit at room temperature for at least one hour. Strain and refrigerate.

In a festive punchbowl, combine prosecco, vodka, fruit juices, sparkling water, and simple syrup. Make sure pomegranate arils are membrane-free and add them to the bowl. Slice blood orange into thin rounds and either add them to the bowl or set them aside for guests to garnish their drinks.

Who Spiked the Eggnog?

In a pinch, turn to a classic. Run to the store, grab your favorite eggnog, and you’re halfway there!

You can always eyeball this recipe and adjust to taste, but start here:

Combine half a gallon of eggnog, 1 cup of your favorite amaretto liqueur, and ½ cup of your favorite rum. Grate cinnamon and/or nutmeg (or cardamom if you’re feeling fancy) over the top of the pitcher.

THE HOLI-GAY PLAYLIST

No party is complete without music. Save yourself the mid-party stress and create a playlist ahead of time. Here are a few suggestions:

Every holiday playlist needs a classic or two, and nothing screams Christmas quite like Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You.” This is best played around the time all of your guests have arrived, so they can break the ice by screaming the lyrics to one another.

Popdorian’s “Coming Out For Christmas” is a festive new single reminiscent of an ’80s holiday hit. It’s best paired with a song everyone knows the words to: Taylor Swift’s rendition of “Last Christmas.”

Once everyone’s knocked back a glass or two, put on some danceable Christmas songs like RuPaul’s “Show Me That You Festive,” The

Vivienne and Tia Kofi’s version of “Jingle Bell Rock,” or “Christmas Isn’t Canceled (Just You)” by Kelly Clarkson.

As the party winds down at the end of the night, Kasey Musgrave and Troye Sivan’s “Glittery,” “two queens in a king sized bed” by girl in red, and “Christmas Is” by Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus are chill, festive tunes to say your goodbyes to.

DECK THE HALLS

No party is complete without a little kitschy decor. Instead of recreating Whoville in your foyer, check out these decorations:

RAINBOW DISCO BALL ORNAMENTS

Yassify your Christmas tree with these disco ball ornaments from World Market. They come in sets of 12. $12.99, WorldMarket.com

PRIDE NUTCRACKER

Set a pair of these nutcrackers alongside your drink bowls or on your coffee table. You can find them at your local Target. $12.00, Target

PINK CHRISTMAS BANNER

Hang this banner with or without the bottom string to remind everyone it’s okay to let loose during the holidays. This sign is also available in green and red if you’re willing to shell out a couple extra bucks. $15.99, Amazon.com

HORS D’OEUVRES

No party is complete without snacks. To keep it simple, arrange a snack table with things like:

• A fruit and veggie platter

• Snack-sized holiday themed candy bars

• Peppermint bark

• Pillsbury Christmas tree sugar cookies

• Spinach artichoke bitchin’ sauce and tortilla chips

• A classic charcuterie board

If you have extra time, check out this recipe for some crowd-pleasing cookies:

Mexican Tea Cakes

(Recipe from TheSpruceEats.com)

Also known as sand cookies and similar to Italian Wedding Cakes, these delicious shortbread cookies are a hit at every party, and they’re super easy to make!

• 1 cup butter, softened

• 1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar, divided

• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

• 1 cup pecans, finely chopped, optional

Cream butter with 1/2 cup powdered sugar until well blended and smooth. Beat in vanilla, then add flour and salt. Mix until just combined. Add nuts, if using. Chill overnight.

Once you’re ready to bake, preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit and allow the cookies to rest at room temperature for at least 30 minutes. Form dough into 1-inch balls and place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake cookies for 8 to 12 minutes. The cookies should not brown on the top, but instead, just become very pale golden on the top and lightly golden on the bottom. Place on a wire rack to cool and roll in confectioners’ sugar to cover.

Rosemary’s Santa Baby

THE STORY OF QUEER-OWNED VEGAN BAKERY DULCE VEGAN

Dulce Vegan is a queer and woman of color owned vegan bakery and cafe that has been in Atlanta since 2007. Originally, it was just a wholesale vegan bakery working out of rented industrial kitchens, but demand became so high that eventually it was able to shift into a proper brick and mortar restaurant.

Owner Idalys Sansores has had a longtime love of both plant-based diets and helping people through food. When she was a child, she spent a lot of time at her grandmother’s house, due to her parents’ busy schedules of work and school, so she saw firsthand how much joy cooking and baking for the family brought. Sharing food with her loved ones was how her grandma showed her love and appreciation for everyone, and that stuck with Sansores through adulthood. Likewise, a traumatic experience in middle school while visiting relatives at a farm started her plant-based journey. Seeing how mistreated and disregarded the farm animals were prompted her into vegetarianism that day, and she hasn’t looked back since. In fact, she has only gone further into the plantbased lifestyle the older she gets. She was vegetarian until she was able to make meals for herself, then switched to veganism. Some culinary inspirations of hers are Isa Chandra Moskowitz, Fran Costigan, and Ani Phyo.

Founding Dulce Vegan was a long and tedious process. The owners of a local coffee shop had lost a vegan bakery they owned in Athens and therefore needed a new supplier of vegan baked goods. They knew that Sansores loved to bake, so they asked if she could help until they found a new bakery. Before she knew it, word spread and parents would contact her to make cakes for their kids with allergies, and that was essentially

the start of the business. It took a while to get a physical storefront, because she didn’t make enough money to qualify for loans, so the store only grew when she could afford it — but she said the slower growth was actually a good thing for her.

One challenge she faced when founding the bakery and cafe was a major case of imposter syndrome.

“[I had to get] out of my own way,” she said. “Imposter syndrome is real. And as a small business owner, wearing so many hats can often be overwhelming. You can forget that maybe you do know some things after all.”

The atmosphere at the restaurant is safe and welcoming, with an affable and mostly femme staff. The food is fresh and filling, with nearly everything made in house, and the baked

“[I had to get] out of my own way. Imposter syndrome is real. And as a small business owner, wearing so many hats can often be overwhelming. You can forget that maybe you do know some things after all.”

goods are delicious — not overwhelmingly sweet — and prepared with care. Some suggested items that new customers should try are the cinnamon rolls, lemon scones, the Kirkwood sandwich, and the egg, bacon, avocado and aioli sandwich. One item Sansores is hoping to bring back soon is the eggplant Parmesan, so look out for that!

Dulce Vegan is a longstanding member of the Kirkwood community that serves easy vegan brunch options with pleasant outdoor seating and friendly baristas. Give it a visit if you haven’t yet!

You can find more information about Dulce Vegan on their website: dulcevegan.com, their Instagram @dulcevegan, TikTok @ dulceveganatl and Facebook, Dulce Vegan Bakery & Cafe.

Divine Ikpe

Dulce Vegan owner Idalys Sansores offers an assorted variety of baked goods COURTESY PHOTOS

GEORGIA VOICE STAFF’S TOP RESTAURANT PICKS

KATIE BURKHOLDER

EDITOR

CHAI PANI (406 W Ponce de Leon Ave.)

If you love Indian food, you’ll love Chai Pani. You can go for dinner (I suggest the butter chicken or trying the daal of the day), but the best option is the lunch buffet. For less than $20, the all-you-can-eat Indian feast is utterly decadent.

NAM PHUONG (4051 Buford Hwy. NE)

I live in East Atlanta, so the fact that I regularly drive 20+ minutes out to Buford Highway to get pho at Nam Phuong is a testament to just how good it is. Warm and comforting, the pho here is my hangover food of choice.

MY COFFEE SHOP (2462 Memorial Dr. SE)

Now talk about a hidden gem! This hole in the wall café has locally sourced coffee, one of the best chicken biscuits I’ve ever had, and uniquely delicious frozen basil lemonade, but the people are what will keep you coming back. Everyone I’ve interacted with here is so warm and kind, and they’ll make you feel right at home.

LUKE GARDNER

CONTRIBUTOR

SLUTTY VEGAN (476 Edgewood Ave. SE)

An Atlanta staple, this local eatery quickly became a nationally recognized chain, and for good reason. The staff are always friendly and interact with guests, turning what could be a tedious wait into an experience that feels like a party. The burgers are named suggestively and are loved by vegans and meat lovers alike. Try the Fussy Hussy, a delicious classic burger dripping in vegan cheese and loaded with tomatoes, pickles, caramelized onions, lettuce, and the signature ‘Slut Sauce.’ Along with the Edgewood location, there are also locations in Gwinnett, Athens, and on Ralph David Abernathy Boulevard.

BREAKFAST AT BARNEY’S (349 Decatur St. SE Unit A1)

The genius chefs at this restaurant have found a way to combine the most amazing aspects of classic southern soul food into one amazing experience called the soul roll. It’s a deep-fried eggroll filled with candied yams, seasoned collard greens, and mac and cheese. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever tasted. The all-day brunch menu features several other delicious treats, like their 24 Karat gold pancakes and vegan yacht toast.

SYD CLARK CONTRIBUTOR

THAI 5 (1148 Euclid Ave. NE #1939)

This small restaurant in Little Five Points has a variety of Thai dishes that satisfy your palate. I am a massive fan of Thai food, especially; the noodle dishes, and this restaurant has my favorite Pad See Ew that I’ve had in Atlanta. The meal would be incomplete without their delightful Thai tea.

NORTH ITALIA (3393 Peachtree Rd. NE)

Located in Lenox mall, North Italia exudes luxurious energy and serves high-quality Italian food. My favorite pasta dish is the Bolognese, and I’d also recommend the doughnuts for dessert.

NOBI CHA (4279 Roswell Rd. NE)

All tea lovers must stop by Nobi Cha to try sodas, milk, and fruit teas. I highly recommend the refreshing Apple Fruit Tea and the delicious Thai Milk Tea.

STONE BOWL HOUSE (5953 Buford Hwy. NE)

A favorite among me and my friends is Stone Bowl House, located in Doraville. It’s a little drive, but the food is well worth the distance. With cute décor and food that makes you feel like you’re eating a homecooked meal, this restaurant remains number one in my heart. My go-to order consists of Goon Mandu and Bibimbap or Japchae.

SYDNEY NORMAN CONTRIBUTOR

THE IBERIAN PIG (121 Sycamore St.)

If you’re looking to share some delicious tapas look no further than The Iberian Pig. Part of the Castellucci Hospitality Group, The Pig’s been transporting Atlanta residents to España for over a decade. Their B.W.D.’s (Bacon Wrapped Dates) and pork cheek tacos are a must-try. Swing by between 5 and 7pm Monday through Friday for their Jamón Happy Hour.

TUZA TACO (1523 Howell Mill Rd. NW)

If you’re looking to enjoy fresh tacos on a heated patio with a delicious frozen cocktail in hand, Tuza Taco’s the place to go. Try their Steak or Big Fish tacos and their Crazy Hot Queso!

SOUPER JENNY (1082 Huff Rd. NW)

Souper Jenny’s takes the farm-to-table concept very seriously, growing some of their own produce at their Westside location at the “Souper Farm.” Find one of their five Atlanta locations if you’re looking for some comforting, healthy soups, salads, and sandwiches. Their uber-creative menu changes daily depending on what’s in season, so make sure to check their website before you go! (And don’t forget to ask about their punch card!)

UPBEET (1071 Howell Mill Rd. NW)

Upbeet combines clean food and convenience with their colorful array of grain bowls, salads, superfood lattes, smoothie bowls, and smoothies. Either select one of their pre-made creations or build your own from scratch. No matter what your dietary needs are, you’ll be able to find something for everyone at this Westside joint. My go-to order is an Aloha Bowl with Charcoal Lemonade.

VICTORY SANDWICH BAR (340 Church St.)

Don’t let the $5 price tag fool you, these gourmet sandwiches pack a hefty punch. An ideal night at VSB starts with their Flavor of the Day popcorn,

continues with a Tea Bird sandwich, and ends with their delicious Jack and Coke Slushie and a game of ping pong. (That slushie’s so good, even whiskey haters can enjoy it!)

DIVINE IKPE CONTRIBUTOR

LA CALAVERA (1696 Memorial Dr. SE)

This restaurant is an unassuming homeyfeeling space. At first glance it just looks like a tiny house, but upon further inspection, you realize it’s a pizza restaurant! This place is great for both omnivores and plant-based friends alike. The price point is on the higher end, but it’s 100 percent worth it. Their pizzas use fresh local ingredients and have delicious sourdough crust. The plant-based options include a wide variety of vegetables and three types of vegan cheeses: cashew and sunflower cheese sauce, vegan shredded cheese, and hemp parmesan. Try the “Olive My Heart” pizza, which is topped with tomato sauce, clack olives, breen olives, artichoke hearts, and fresh garlic.

VIETVANNA (2831 E College Ave.)

Now that We Suki Suki no longer has the Bahni Mi booth (RIP), Vietvanna officially has the best Banh Mis in the city. This is a Vietnamese restaurant with locations in Midtown, Ponce City Market and Avondale Estates. In addition to their Bahn Mis, their lemongrass tofu dish is also delicious!

URBAN WU (3330 Piedmont Rd. NE #22B)

Urban Wu is a Chinese restaurant in Buckhead with an authentic feel. Although it isn’t a fully vegan or vegetarian restaurant, their plant-based options are amazing! They have various tofu mains including Mapo Tofu and Kung Pao Tofu, but my personal favorite dishes are their Basil Eggplant Clay Pot and their Pan Fried Vegetable Pot Stickers. The food is so flavorful and fulfilling! You will definitely have leftovers, and they’ll be just as good the next day.

Gifts for the Home Chef

Burkholder

A. Hammer Stahl Six-Piece Barbecue Knife Set

This six-piece set is perfect for the grill master in your life. The set comes with a paring knife, boning knife, chef’s knife, slicer, and scimitar all wrapped in a stunning leather knife roll. This set is all you need to tackle any cut, size, and texture of meat. $269.95, Cook’s Warehouse; 1544 Piedmont Rd. NE; cookswarehouse.com

B. Joseph Joseph Adjustable Rolling Pin with Measuring Rings

This innovative rolling pin takes the guesswork out of preparing dough. With four sets of removable discs that raise the rolling surface, you can create exactly the required pastry thickness, from 2 mm to 10 mm. $24.95, Cook’s Warehouse

C. Kenwood Chef Titanium

5 Quart Stainless Steel Standing Mixer

This standing mixer is built to last with a die cast aluminum body and durable stainless steel attachments. The set includes the mixer, a five-quart stainless steel mixing bowl, splash bowl, whisky, creaming beater, stainless steel K beater, and stainless steel dough hook. $559.95, Cook’s Warehouse

D. Smeg Mini Refrigerator

At just under 2.5 feet tall, the ‘50s style Smeg Mini Fridge makes for a super cute and convenient addition to any office, college dorm, or family room. Comes in black or cream. $1,259, West Elm at Ponce City Market; 675 Ponce de Leon Ave. NE; westelm.com

E. OXO Cold Brew Coffee Maker

Who doesn’t love a cold brew, especially one made in the comfort of your own home? This simple and convenient cold brew maker is the perfect gift for the coffee lover in your life. $40.99, OXO; oxo.com

F. Feed the Resistance: Recipes + Ideas for Getting Involved

This unique cookbook, compiled by LGBTQ food writer Julia Turshen, is proof that food is political. Included are recipes for dishes that nourish and foster community, essays form activists in the worlds of politics and food, and resources for getting involved in your community. $14.95, Charis Books and More; 184 S. Candler St.; charisbooksandmore.com

G. Le Creuset Pumpkin Pie Dish with Lid

This seasonal pumpkin-shaped pie dish is perfect for the baker who always shows up to the family gathering with a perfectly baked pie. Premium stoneware distributes evenly for perfectly goldenbrown flaky crusts, making it designed for both performance and aesthetics. Comes in three colors: meringue, persimmon, and sea salt. $124.95, Cook’s Warehouse

A

C

Katie

Food & Drink Gifts

Katie Burkholder

A. Charcuterie Class

Give the gift of a private Iberian Pig charcuterie class experience! The class covers the history and origins of iberico meats and Spanish cheese along with instruction on how to craft your own charcuterie board. The class includes three cheese, two meats, and a wine pairing. $100 per guest , The Iberian Pig; 121 Sycamore St.; theiberianpig.com/ catering/charcuterieclass

B. Rivulet Artisan Pecan Liqueur

This delectable luxury liqueur makes the perfect holiday gift. The warm pecan taste makes for a fabulous addition to your cocktail recipes this holiday season. $31.99, Tower Beer, Wine and Spirits

C. Shaker and Spoon Cocktail Subscription

The gift that keeps on giving for at-home mixologist, this monthly subscription box comes with three cocktail recipes with all the syrups, juices, and garnishes you need to make them — just add alcohol! Starts at $59/month, Cratejoy; cratejoy.com

D. Avion Reserva 44 Extra Anejo Tequila

This limited small batch of Extra Anejo will please even the most demanding of tequila connoisseurs. Aged 45 months in oak barrels and then an additional month in specially selected petit barrels, the taste is luscious and complex. $129.99, Tower Beer, Wine and Spirits

E. Dr. Pete’s Praline Mustard Glaze

This glaze from Savannah-based company Dr. Pete’s is a delicious combination of flavors including brown sugar, mustard, pecans and spices. Marinade your ham, pork, chicken, or fish for an impressive dinner, or simply pour it over a wheel of Brief for a quick and tasty appetizer. $9.95, Cook’s Warehouse; 1544 Piedmont Rd. NE; cookswarehouse.com

F. Frozen Casserole

What’s better than the gift of a delicious meal? Gift one of Casseroles’ yummy options, like eggplant parmesan, shrimp and grits with andouille sausage, or meatloaf and potatoes. Starting at $20, Casseroles; 1393 North Highland Ave. NE; casserolesatlanta.com

G. Build Your Own Masala Dabba

This unique gift is perfect for the foodie that has everything. The gorgeous brass container is filled with seven jars of high-quality single-origin Indian spices of your choosing and comes with a spoon for each spice. Bonus: each purchases grants you free access to Cub Masala, a hands-on, spice-forward quarterly Zoom cooking club. $200, Diaspora Co.; diasporaco.com

QUEER HOLIDAY MOVIE WATCH LIST

Sukainah Abid-Kons

As we approach the holiday season — whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or any other holiday — our TV channels and streaming services will be overflowing with one particular genre: cheesy holiday romances. Chances are that you’ve seen these before: a corporate lawyer with a cold heart who is lacking the spirit of Christmas has to move from a big city to a small town (bonus points for a ranch), then falls into an enemies-to-lovers arc with one of the small town residents who is much more rustic and down-to-earth. They fall in love, the lawyer discovers the true meaning of love (or family, or Christmas), and everyone ends up happy on Christmas Day.

Listen, these might not be quality movies, but we watch them not for intellectual enrichment, but rather for the feel-good effect of them. Romance, wholesome characters, and usually some laughs: what’s not to love?

The problem with these movies is that they have historically lacked diversity; almost all these stories focus on heterosexual couples. With this lack of representation, many people in the LGBTQ community don’t see their love stories on screen.

But in recent years, as queer representation has become more common across many media platforms, Christmas movies have started to incorporate more sexual diversity into their plotlines. So, if you’re looking for a queer-inclusive holiday movie to add to your watch list this year, here’s a list of [insert final number] films and where to stream them.

HAPPIEST SEASON (2020)

This film has gotten some mixed reviews from the LGBTQ community, mostly regarding its storyline that focuses on a lesbian couple trying to hide their romantic status from one of the partner’s parents. But that aside, it is one of the more popular holiday movies to come out

recently that includes a queer love storyline.

The film centers around couple Abby and Harper, who decide to spend Christmas with Harper’s family, who don’t actually know that Abby and Harper are together. Harper is full of Christmas cheer and Abby hates the season. As they maneuver through the stay, they try to hide their relationship while also making time for romantic moments. But when an old acquaintance of Harper’s shows up, the couple finds it harder to hide their relationship.

The film has an impressive 82 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes and features big names such as Kristen Stewart, Dan Levy, Aubrey Plaza, and Alison Brie. If you haven’t seen it, consider adding it to your watch list on Hulu, where it is available to stream.

THE CHRISTMAS SETUP (2020)

Another 2020 holiday rom-com that tried to brighten what was a pretty rough winter for a lot of people. It starts with the classic “New York lawyer goes rural” storyline, a triedand-true classic that’s bound to lead to the most fulfilling holiday love stories you can witness on screen.

The movie follows Hugo, the requisite lawyer from New York, as he heads to Milwaukee with his best friend Madelyn to celebrate the holidays with his mother and brother. While there, Hugo runs into his high school crush, Patrick, and the chemistry between them becomes undeniable. But when Hugo finds out that his recent promotion means moving to London, he has to decide what’s most important to him.

“The Christmas Setup” was Lifetime’s first LGBTQ-focused Christmas movie, and it was written by Ben Lewis and Blake Lee, who play Hugo and Patrick, respectively. The film also stars Fran Drescher from “The Nanny” and Ellen Wong from “Scott Pilgrim versus the World.”

“The Christmas Setup” is available to stream on Lifetime, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.

MERRY & GAY (2022)

Merry and Gay is the newest movie on this list, released on December 1.

When Broadway star Becca returns to her small hometown to visit her mother for the holidays, she falls into a matchmaking scheme aimed at reuniting (and hopefully re-falling in love) her with her childhood best friend and high school sweetheart, Sam. After Becca and Sam’s mothers successfully orchestrate their children’s run-in, a comedic holiday romance ensues.

The film is available to stream on DIVA Box, a new streaming site dedicated to telling stories featuring the LGBTQ community.

DASHING IN DECEMBER (2020)

Cowboys in love: think of it as the happy version of “Brokeback Mountain” that we never got to see.

When Wyatt Burwall returns home for the holidays to visit his family, he has a second goal on his agenda; convincing his mother to finally sell the family ranch. While there, Wyatt meets the dashing new ranch hand, Heath Ramos, and romantic feelings quickly follow. Heath dreams of saving the ranch, turning it into a Winter Wonderland attraction, and getting Wyatt back into the Christmas spirit after many years of living without it.

“Dashing in December” is available to rent on Amazon Prime.

Dan Levy and Kristen Stewart star in ‘Happiest Season.”

PUBLICITY PHOTO

‘SPOILER ALERT’ SHARES REAL-LIFE LOVE STORY, TRANS REPRESENTATION SHINES IN ‘DARBY AND THE DEAD’

Jim Farmer

Michael Ausiello met his future husband Kit Cowan at a bar one evening and the two men spent 13 years together before Kit got some devastating news. He had cancer and eventually died in 2015. During that time, Ausiello — an entertainment journalist — had been providing regular updates on social media. An editor saw those posts and convinced Ausiello to write the best-selling memoir, “Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies.” The book has been turned into the new film, “Spoiler Alert,” starring Jim Parsons as Michael and Ben Aldridge as Kit.

The author learned while at a Barnes and Noble that the book was becoming a film — literally moments before he and Parsons were set to do a Q&A.

“Parsons’ husband Todd Spiewak, who runs a production company with Jim, mentioned they were interested in optioning it and he dropped that bomb literally before we took the stage,” Ausiello told Georgia Voice. “I was already on a high because it was the week the book came out and I was excited to talk

about it, but what a confidence booster to get news like that.”

Dan Savage and David Marshall Grant have adapted the book into a screenplay.

It was important to have gay performers as leads. Parsons was on board right out of the gate. “He let me know he was interested in acting in it. That was a dream come true. I am a huge admirer of his work. Then it was about finding Kit and all of us were on the same page about finding a gay actor to play [the role]. With Ben we hit the jackpot.”

Getting to see the film for the first time was surreal.

“It is very hard to get a movie made, I have now learned,” Ausiello said. “[What I first saw] wasn’t the finished movie, but still it was a movie, and it was a miracle that it got made.”

In the new film, “Darby and the Dead,” the titular character (played by Riele Downs) is able to see dead people after surviving a near-death experience. She now counsels local spirits and has to help out Capri, the most popular girl in high school, after an unfortunate accident.

“Darby” is directed by Silas Howard, and one of the supporting cast members is Nicole Maines, an actress (“Supergirl”) and transgender rights activist. She auditioned for the role of Capri and didn’t get it, but the producers liked her so much they wrote the role of Piper for her.

“It turned out being perfect, because her comedy and that kind of deadpan sarcasm is how I talk and joke every day,” Maines told Georgia Voice.

Being an activist is important for Maines.

“It’s no secret we are living in a time when trans rights are under attack like never before,” she said. “Now that [legislators] know we exist and are prevalent in media, this is someone [they feel they] can take action against. [The increased representation] has put us in a vulnerable position, but it is important we do this. We still have more support than ever, and it is easier to be a trans person, especially a trans child. Now people are familiar with what it means to be trans.”

Trans women used to be talked about in ways that would elicit disgust, laughter or fear, Maines said, and that is something she feared when she came out to her parents.

“All you could find at the time was negative stuff,” she said. “Now there is a different understanding; parents are not thinking their child is going to be Buffalo Bill [from ‘Silence of the Lambs’].”

Howard is known for high-profile projects such as “Pose,” “Transparent,” Netflix’s “Tales of the City” and the film “A Kid Like Jake.” A trans director, he has made it a mission to focus on positive, groundbreaking LGBTQ characters.

“I grew up in the AIDS era and we had to make everything ourselves,” he said. “I did 15 years of work before making ‘Transparent.’ I broke into TV, but TV broke into us as well. The kids are queer these days, with all the definitions of that. It’s phenomenal to see. I feel honored to work on shows such as ‘Pose’ and ‘Transparent’ and ‘Dickinson’ and a lot of bold decisions who make that all happen.”

MORE INFO

“Spoiler Alert” is now in limited release and opens December 9

“Darby and the Dead” is now streaming on Hulu

‘Spoiler Alert’ PUBLICITY PHOTOS

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2

“Party With Impact” is a night of comedy with comedian and comedy writer Sam Jay to benefit HIV services, prevention and LGBTQ+ healthcare in Atlanta. Local gay comedian Ian Aber will also perform. The show benefits Positive Impact Health Centers. 8pm, Variety Playhouse

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3

Go to Woofs and watch the Georgia Bulldogs and the LSU Tigers battle in the SEC Championship game 4pm

Tyler Perry moderates for the Michelle Obama: The Light We Carry Tour Fox Theatre, 8pm

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4

Check out the Atlanta Botanical Gardens’ Garden Lights, Holiday Nights. While plenty of the show’s fanfavorite features return, guests can expect new twists, including an all-new exhibition in the Anne Cox Chambers Garden by French artist Cédric LeBorgne and three massive sculptures from the spring/summer exhibition, Origami in the Garden. Daily through January 2

MONDAY, DECEMBER 5

Trans and Friends is a youth-focused group for trans people, people questioning their own gender and aspiring allies, providing a facilitated space to discuss gender, relevant resources and activism around social issues. 7 to 8pm for youth and 8 to 9pm for adults, Charis Books and More

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6

It’s runoff day, as Raphael Warnock squares off against Herschel Walker for a Georgia Senate seat. Go vote!

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8

Out Front Theatre Company presents “Christmas Dearest.” It’s 1953 and Joan Crawford is desperate to reignite her

EVENT SPOTLIGHT

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 7

Spend an evening with acclaimed musician Adam L. McKnight on a musical journey through uplifting original songs, R&B classics, and holiday favorites in the Alliance Theatre’s “Gift of Love.” Drawing from his experiences as a back-up vocalist and studio musician for the likes of Elton John, CeeLo Green, Train, Stevie Wonder, B.B. King, Diana Ross, Gloria Estefan, Bonnie Raitt, Zac Brown Band, and many more, Adam is an entertainer and storyteller who puts his heart and soul into every song he performs. From R&B to gospel to pop, Adam will delight audiences with a selection of hits for all musical tastes. 7:30pm, Hertz Stage, running through December 23

career with the new film “Oh, Mary!,” a big splashy musical adaption of the life of the Virgin Mary. Everything has to be perfect, but the stress of surviving in Hollywood has turned Joan into a tyrant. 8pm, running through December 18

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9 –

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11

The Atlanta Ballet brings back a holiday favorite — “The Nutcracker,” with opening night tonight. 7:30pm, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9

Join the OUT Georgia Business Alliance for the 2022 Community Honors Celebration tonight as the organization spotlights the inspiring individuals and organizations boldly

leading Georgia’s LGBTQ community forward. OUT Georgia will use the 2022 Community Honors Celebration to recognize finalists and announce the winners in the categories of Business Leader, Community Leader, Next Gen Leader, Nonprofit, Corporate Ally, Small Business, New Business, and Member of the Year, plus unveil the first-ever nonprofit grant awards of the OUT Georgia Impact Fund, powered by United Way of Greater Atlanta. Standard tickets include a cocktail reception, dinner stations from JenChan’s and Occasional Occasions by Carlton, dessert, open bar, and a night of fabulous celebration and entertainment with Ella/Saurus/Rex, Dotte Com, Michael Robinson, the MetroGnomes Big Band (Atlanta Freedom Bands), and after-party beats by GeeXella. 6 to 11pm, Atlanta City Hall

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11

Atlanta’s favorite holiday fundraiser, Toy Party, is just around the corner. The event benefits metro Atlanta youth organizations and is a night filled with fun, friends and live entertainment. The silent auction will begin Friday, December 9. 6 to 10:30pm, The Biltmore Hotels

“KURIOS™ — Cabinet of Curiosities” is Cirque du Soleil’s 35th production since 1984. Cabinets of curiosities are the ancestors of museums, also known as cabinet of wonder in the Renaissance Europe. Aristocrats, members of the merchant class, and early practitioners of science formed collections of historical relics, works of art or mysterious travel souvenirs or artefacts. “KURIOS™ — Cabinet of Curiosities” has a cast of 46 artists from 16 different countries. Now running through December 24 under the iconic Big Top at Atlantic Station, with 1:30pm and 5pm performances today.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13

PALS Atlanta hosts Drag Queen Bingo –Holidaze Night 7:30pm, Lips Atlanta

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15

Charis welcomes Sharon Bridgforth in conversation with Mary Anne Adams for a celebration of “bull-jean & dem/ dey back. bull-jean & dem/dey back collects,” two performance/novels centering Sharon Bridgforth’s SouthernBlack-butch-sheroe, bull-jean. This event is co-hosted by ZAMI NOBLA: The National Organization of Black Lesbians on Aging. First published by RedBone Press in 1998, the Lambda Literary Awardwinning the bull-jean stories chronicles the course of love returning in the fife-times of bull-dog-jean. Set in the rural 1920s South, “the bull-jean stories is an act of griot-anthropology, remembering the ancestor we never knew but always knew we needed — the raucous, sweet-talking, heart-aching wo’mn-lovvn-wo’mn bulldog-jean and the fierce and beautiful community that surrounds her.” 7:30 to 8:30pm virtually. Register here: https:// www.crowdcast.io/e/bull-jean--demdeyback-3/register

Jim Farmer

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID MELISSA CARTER

THEY STOOD ME UP!

I spent the morning preparing, taking notes and studying articles and YouTube videos. I showered, took time with my hair and makeup, and even donned fake lashes and used my ring light to enhance my look. When the time came, I arrived on the scheduled Zoom call early and waited. And waited. Until it was clear they weren’t going to show up.

It was the lowest point in my job search these past two years.

I was laid off in 2020, just months into the pandemic and shortly after my mother passed away. Being chronically ill and unable to go into an office space until the pandemic was over, I have been doing freelance jobs ever since to pay the bills. Having to pay for my own insurance has been the biggest hit to my accounts.

It’s a humble place to be after experiencing the benefits of success. I always saw life as a climb, with each rung of the ladder higher than the one before. But that’s not what life is like at all. It consists of clusters, some positive and some negative, but what kind you’re in seems to be hidden until you’re in the thick of it. As a glass-half-full kind of person, I am loving the extra time I get with my son. I just wish I had made better investments when I was more financially fluid.

It’s not like I haven’t tried to obtain more consistent work. I have applied not only to job sites where I know they never look at the applications, but have also had my resume hand-delivered to hiring managers by people I know and have worked with. That didn’t even garner an interview.

Close friends know I’m beginning to struggle, and some helped me obtain the freelance gigs that have sustained me. Yet

there are others who after years of knowing me seem to be at a loss as to what exactly they could do for me. That taught me that some friendships are all well and good until somebody asks for something, then things get too awkward to continue.

Most people don’t like to talk about these things, but after being stood up despite my professional effort, I’ve had it. I can’t be the only one to experience this type of bizarre behavior from companies, especially as they grow older and company managers grow younger. I personally have never experienced such a ghosting before, yet I admit the challenge. The industry I spent decades in has dramatically changed and isn’t the fertile ground for broadcasters it used to be.

So, I carry on and figure it out as I go. Things will work out, since those clusters in life inevitably change, and I will be grateful for whatever new opportunity reveals itself. In the meantime, I will teach my son the benefits of networking and honing his skills, but more importantly, how to invest in and truly sustain himself. That way he never has to close his laptop in defeat and spend the rest of his day coddling his bruised ego.

Melissa Carter

PHOTO BY SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / ROBERT KNESCHKE