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EDITORIAL

Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

IN THIS ISSUE OF GA VOICE

12.05.14

THE GEORGIA VOICE

PO Box 77401 | Atlanta, GA 30357 404-815-6941 | www.thegavoice.com

NEWS

Deputy Editor: Patrick Saunders psaunders@thegavoice.com

6 | News briefs 8 | Stephe Bailey lives as a man but identifies as a woman 9 | Transgender teen Sage Lovell makes homecoming court in East Cobb

Art Director: Rob Boeger rboeger@thegavoice.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Jim Farmer, Vandy Beth Glenn, Cliff Bostock, Shannon Hames, Bill Kaelin, Ryan Lee, Steve Warren

FOOD & DRINK

BUSINESS

13 | Burly Bakers serves up sweet treats for the Atlanta masses 14-15 | Food and Drink holiday gift ideas 16 | Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand serves up the goods with a side of Southern roots 18 | Lesbian couple mix it up with 18.21 Bitters

Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com

Managing Partner: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com Sales Manager: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com Sales Executive: Anne Clarke aclarke@thegavoice.com Business Advisor: Lynn Pasqualetti Financial Firm of Record: HLM Financial Group

National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

Sage Lovell is believed to be the first trans person elected to a high school homecoming court in Georgia. Page 9 (Photo via CBS)

OUTSPOKEN

Photo via Facebook

In loving memory of Mike Ritter, 1965-2014

A&E

FRIENDS & FOES IN THEIR OWN WORDS

FINE PRINT

—Robert Downey Jr., posting a gay fan fiction photo to Facebook. (Facebook, Nov. 28)

“We’re all sinners.”

—Country/bluegrass star Ricky Skaggs on the coming out of Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman (TMZ, Nov. 23)

COLUMNISTS 37 | Outside The Box: Bill Kaelin on how vinyl records round out music memories 38 | That’s What She Said: Melissa Carter on Millie Pete’s big move to Atlanta 39 | Sometimes ‘Y’: Ryan Lee on how NFL throws LGBT progress for a loss with Michael Sam

Photo via Outsports

Join us online: facebook.com/thegavoice twitter.com/thegavoice

“HA! This is what happens when you google yourself, kids...”

Photo via Facebook

All material in the GA Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the GA Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by the GA Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request.

A single copy of the GA Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from the Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year.

Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@ thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to the GA Voice, PO Box 77401, Atlanta, GA 30357. The GA Voice is published every other Friday by The GA Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices.

The editorial positions of the GA Voice are expressed in editorials and in editor’s notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the GA Voice and its staff.

To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Email submissions to editor@thegavoice.com or mail to the address above.

24 | Ty Herndon on living and loving as a gay country singer in Nashville 25 | Billy Gilman adds his ‘voice’ to gay country artists 26 | Theater: ‘The Snow Queen’ comes to Serenbe Playhouse 28 | Gentleman’s Ball is part of a long-term vision for black gay love 30 | Food: Check out these dining spots for all the gay stereotypes 32-34 | Best Bets calendar

“If this story or the Referee picture motivates somebody somewhere who’s an amateur umpire or is trying to go to umpire school and is trying to get a job in the Major Leagues but maybe has doubts because of their sexuality and sees this and it gives them some confidence, that’s great.”

—Major League Baseball umpire Dale Scott on coming out. (Outsports, Dec. 2)

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NEWS

12.05.14

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NEWSIN BRIEF Kentucky

GA GAY MARRIAGE CASE STILL PENDING DESPITE OTHER RULINGS IN SOUTH

Lambda Legal attorneys for the plaintiffs in Georgia’s federal lawsuit challenging the state’s same-sex marriage ban have filed a notice of supplemental authority with the court citing recent federal court decisions striking down similar bans in Arkansas and Mississippi.

Judges in both of those cases stated in Nov. 29 rulings that the marriage bans violated the due process and equal protection clauses of the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which has been the most effective argument in striking down same-sex marriage bans across the country.

However, attorneys on the other side of the aisle have filed their own notice of supplemental authority citing the one federal court decision that bucked the trend—the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals decision in early November upholding same-sex marriage bans in Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee. Georgia Attorney General Sam Olens submitted that filing on behalf of State Registrar Deborah Aderhold on Nov. 24.

“The decisions [in Arkansas and Mississippi] we think show what an outlier the Sixth Circuit decision was,” said Lambda Legal Senior Attorney Tara Borelli.

“The Sixth Circuit decision boils down to the view that Tara Borelli the courts shouldn’t interfere with the political process. The Mississippi court expressly disagreed with the Sixth Circuit by saying that the role of the courts is to enforce constitutional rights not relegated to minorities back to the political process that wronged them in the first place.”

The remainder of Georgia’s case has been stayed, so there won’t be filings on any other issues in the case besides the motion to dismiss, said Borelli. These filings add more evidence for U.S. District Court Judge William Duffey to review as he continues to consider the state’s motion to dismiss.

— Patrick Saunders

GA EQUALITY WANTS ATLANTA FIRE CHIEF FIRED AFTER PUBLISHING ANTI-GAY BOOK

Georgia Equality’s board chair and executive director are calling for Atlanta Fire Chief Kelvin Cochran to be fired after he wrote and published a book filled with anti-gay language.

Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed denounced the book and ordered Cochran suspended one month without pay and to also undergo sensitivity training. But that doesn’t go far enough for members of Georgia Equality, the state’s largest LGBT advocacy organization.

Glen Paul Freedman, chair of Georgia Equality’s board of directors, issued a statement to GA Voice that he didn’t believe Reed’s actions were tough enough.

Arkansas

Michigan

Georgia Mississippi

Ohio Tennessee Lambda Legal is citing the striking down of gay marriage bans in Arkansas and Mississippi in its pending lawsuit challenging Georgia’s same-sex marriage ban while Georgia Attorney General Sam Olens says the Sixth Circuit’s upholding of gay marriage bans in Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee and Kentucky support his motion for dismissal.

“The mayor only gave him one month off without pay and then he will be back in charge of the AFD and giving orders to his entire department. His views towards the LGBT community are shameful. He will be back in charge and I am sure telling his staff anti-LGBT stuff. I wonder how many LGBT AFD staff were not promoted or held back because of his views and telling his staff his views.

The Mayor should fire him,” Freedman said.

“The mayor is walking a very fine line here and only giving the chief one month without pay is not the answer in this situation and the LGBT community should demand more after the city of Atlanta just received 100 percent on the HRC [municipal] equality index,” Freedman said.

On Nov. 12, the Human Rights Campaign released its third annual Municipal Equality Index and for the second year in a row Atlanta scored a perfect 100. Scores are based on factors including non-discrimination laws, relationship recognition, city employment policies, inclusiveness in city services, law enforcement, and city leadership on matters of LGBT equality.

Georgia Equality Executive Director Jeff Graham told WABE public radio that he also believes Cochran Kelvin Cochran must go.

“It appears that his language is so extreme, so belittling of gay and transgender people that I don’t see how he could possible lead a diverse workforce,” Graham told WABE. “I think he needs to be held accountable for his words and that frankly the only

course of action at this point and time is his immediate and permanent dismissal.”

Cochran’s book, titled “Who Told You That You Were Naked” compares being gay to bestiality, among other things.

CDC: ONLY 1 IN 3 AMERICANS WITH HIV VIRUS ACHIEVE VIRAL SUPPRESSION

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released a new report on HIV showing that just 30 percent of Americans with the virus have achieved viral suppression—meaning that through medical care they have very low levels of HIV in the body, even though the virus is still there.

From the CDC: “Achieving viral suppression by taking HIV medicines allows people living with HIV to have nearly normal lifespans and greatly reduces their chances of transmitting the virus. While we have made progress in HIV prevention and care, only 30 percent of all people living with HIV have achieved viral suppression. If they are in HIV medical care, however, 76 percent of people achieve viral suppression. Getting and keeping people in HIV medical care saves lives.”

The figures are based on those Americans living with HIV in 2011, which the study estimates at 1.2 million people. Among the 840,000 people who had not achieved viral suppression: 66 percent had been diagnosed but were not engaged in regular HIV care; 20 percent did not yet know they were infected; 4 percent were engaged in care but not prescribed antiretroviral treatment, and 10 percent were prescribed antiretroviral treatment but did not achieve viral suppression.

— Patrick Saunders

YOU DESERVE

ANSWERS HIV Answers gives you the information you want, privately, right on your phone.

Get started online at

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10/24/14 10:53 AM

GA VOICE | 8

NEWS

12.05.14

www.theGAVoice.com

‘This is just our life’ Stephen Bailey wears maleness as ‘armor’ but identifies as female

By DYANA BAGBY Stephen Bailey, 46, dresses as a man and uses male pronouns, but he knows he is female.

“I knew I was different since I was five,” says Bailey, who lives in the Westview neighborhood in southern Atlanta.

Bailey acknowledges he uses male pronouns to self-identify, but says they do not fit. For the purpose of this story, Bailey will be referred to as “Bailey” except when a male pronoun is necessary to make the story clear.

“I’ve always been female. Because of what I’ve endured I wear my maleness as armor; it keeps me safe. It’s not who I am,” Bailey says.

In 1995, when Bailey was 24, transitioning and using black market hormones, a stop in the women’s restroom at the Georgia college he was attending led to a traumatic arrest, a year in jail, and a plea bargain to peeping tom charges that mandated five years of conversion therapy to escape being forever labeled a sex offender.

“I was in an open dorm [in jail] with 120 sex offenders. I had to fight every day to stop from being raped. At that point was 134 pounds and had a B-cup. I was cute,” Bailey says.

“In that year, I lost everything I owned, everything I had. I was stripped of everything that made me an independent human.”

Today, Bailey, who is married to a woman and is set to go back on hormone therapy in the near future, is again facing charges—this time for allegedly stealing a neighbor’s dog.

Bailey and his wife, Sherry, have rescued 89 dogs, cats and other critters, including a family of opossums, a barred owl and a bunny rabbit, in their neighborhood.

An attempt in July to save a dog Bailey says was chained to a tree in the sizzling sun with no food or water led to an arrest and an overnight stay in jail.

“It was triggering. It was terrifying. Last time I was arrested I was inside a jail for a year,” Bailey says.

Despite an offer of 12 months of probation by a Fulton prosecutor in lieu of a possible 90-day jail sentence, Bailey insisted on either a full jury trial or dismissal of the charges.

On Dec. 2, Bailey appeared at a prelimi-

Clockwise from top: Stephen Bailey and wife, Sherry, have been married three years. Bailey came out publicly as a transgender woman this summer in an online essay. Bailey with a dog he found in his neighborhood with an electrical cord around its neck and nearly starved. The dog is doing well now. Bailey and Sherry in 2010, a year after they met. (Courtesy photos)

nary hearing in Fulton State Court, but the case was continued; Bailey fully expects to go to a jury trial. The woman pressing charges against Bailey, Deanna Fulton, told WSB TV in August that she believes Bailey broke down her fence and stole her dog, intending to sell it.

“It looks like we have us a real fight,”

Bailey says. “I’m not going to plead guilty.

I’m not guilty.”

‘AUTO DA FÉ’

In July, the same month Bailey was arrested and charged with stealing the dog, Eyedrum Periodically, an online art and literature publication of Atlanta’s Eyedrum Art

and Music Gallery, published a piece Bailey wrote, titled “Auto da Fé.”

“Most of us have things in our character that make us different in some unique way.

How we deal with those differences defines us as a person. For most of my life, I guess

CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

NEWS

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12.05.14

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A new day in East Cobb Transgender teen makes homecoming court, provides hope

By PATRICK SAUNDERS Coming out tends to stop fazing someone after they’ve done it three times. That’s what happened for Sage Lovell, a 16-yearold junior at Walton High School in East Cobb County.

“I came out as gay at the beginning of freshman year, and I knew I wasn’t entirely male by about the beginning of sophomore year so I briefly identified as nonbinary,” she says.

“Eventually I got to the point where I was like, ‘This is nice, but it’s not me.’ By the end of sophomore year I was just like, ‘I am a female and that’s how I want to be seen and I am good with that.’”

It’s that kind of strength and conviction that inspired Sage Lovell’s fellow students to elect her to Walton’s homecoming court, making her the first known transgender person to do so in Georgia.

‘SAGE TOOK THE BULL BY THE HORNS’

Her parents, who supported her coming out as gay, were equally supportive when she came out as transgender, but they needed schooling.

“It was never a surprise that Sage was gay; I knew that from an early age,” says her mother, Maureen Lovell. “But I didn’t really understand what transgender was. Sage has been the one that’s really educated me through this process, so it’s been a growing experience for all of us. But looking back now, it totally makes sense—I just didn’t know the word for it.”

Maureen Lovell admits it wasn’t easy at first because the whole family had to “transition to what was real” as she says, but that GE ??it brought the family closer together.

Sage Lovell, center, with her mother and father, Maureen and Scott Lovell. Sage Lovell was elected in October to her East Cobb County high school’s homecoming court, making her the first known transgender person in the state to be on a homecoming court. (Photo by Patrick Saunders) Her father, Scott Lovell, notes the environment that Sage has done this in, imagining what it’s like for other young LGBT people like her.

“They’re scared to come out because they know they’re in the South and they know they’re in a very conservative community and they’re not sure how people are going to react,” he says. “And Sage took the bull by the horns and said, ‘I don’t really care how everybody reacts,’ and for someone to be that strong, you can’t help but support them.”

A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Fortunately for their daughter, the framework was in place for her at school; Walton has a strong anti-bullying policy as well as genderneutral restrooms. And she was lucky to have the support of her friends and fellow students.

“They were like, ‘That’s cool, nothing else has changed except your pronouns and name,’” she says. “It’s phenomenal, I’m so blessed.”

She was happy enough to make it onto the ballot with 49 other juniors for their class’s homecoming court, but got a surprise while sitting in homeroom one day, as members of the student government came in saying they had an announcement.

“They started giving this spiel about homecoming and then they were like, ‘And it’s Sage!’ and the whole class kind of explod-

ed. It was loud,” she says, laughing.

Soon enough, the Marietta Daily Journal heard about what happened and interviewed the family. When the article came out, Maureen Lovell scrolled down to look at the comments— and that was the last time she did that.

“Everybody has a right to their own opinion, but I don’t need to take that in,” she says. “It says more about the person making the comment.”

GLAAD reached out after the article appeared and offered to assist the family in dealing with the press coverage, and they eagerly accepted. Overall, they are happy with how the media has portrayed them.

“I’m glad I got my story out and other people could see what’s happening and see that it is a positive thing,” Sage says. “It’s good for all trans people to see that trans is not limiting anything.”

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD

Media attention aside, Sage Lovell had a homecoming court to get ready for, and first on her mind was finding a dress she liked and that the other girls weren’t wearing.

The school had a pep rally during the school day, and afterward the girls piled into the back of Scott Lovell’s convertible for the homecoming parade. Then it was back home to get ready for the homecoming game. The

court would be presented at halftime.

“When they called my name, the crowd erupted in cheers,” she says. “Everybody wanted my picture. Even little middle school girls who had never seen me before.”

The day’s events affirmed the decision to support his daughter, says Scott Lovell, who escorted Sage across the football field.

“The point when I realized that she was willing to stand up on a football field in front of her entire high school and everyone she knew and was friends with and say, ‘This is who I am,’ I said, ‘Well, then that’s who you are,’ he says. “I can’t second guess that.”

‘I WANT TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT IT’S OKAY’

After homecoming, it’s back to being a 16-year-old for Sage Lovell, which for her means playing violin in the orchestra, indulging her love of art, music and fashion and looking into colleges to apply to.

“I’m trying to find a college with transfriendly housing,” she says.

She idolizes transgender actress and activist Laverne Cox and hopes to look more into transgender advocacy as she enters college. There are two other transgender girls at Walton whom she is assisting as they figure out their path to coming out.

“I want to show people that it’s okay.

I want to be there for other trans people.”

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NEWS

12.05.14

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8 I could best be defined as a prisoner in my own mind,” Bailey wrote. “’Auto da Fé’ is the name of the act of public penance used during the Inquisition and then followed by the person being burned at the stake,” Bailey explained. “It is also the origin of the word ‘faggot’—a chunk of wood that was burned.”

Writing the essay is part of the therapy Bailey is undergoing, which has also helped him to stop drinking heavily and healed the relationship with Sherry.

“After I got the drinking under control Sherry and I got married. As I started to quit asking who I was through alcohol I had to start being authentic. As part of an exercise in therapy I wrote the story,” Bailey explains.

“Then I showed it to a friend at Eyedrum and he said ‘we really want to print this.’ After I talked it over with Sherry, we let them publish it. And that’s how I came out to 700 friends in one fell swoop [by posting to Facebook].”

In “Auto da Fé,” Bailey describes the horror of being arrested in 1995, placed in solitary confinement where raw sewage was

backing up into the cells, and fighting off other inmates. Bailey describes the 1995 arrest in the essay like this: “I went into the ladies room, locked the stall door and started to pee. The security guard who had been stalking me came in, kicked in the door, and snatched me off the toilet into the floor. He placed his knee in the small of my back and handcuffed me.

That was my last moment outside of a jail for a little over a year.

They charged me with Felony Peeping Tom. The way the law is written, it looked like it would to stick. The DA was talking 10 years.

www.theGAVoice.com

I was taken into the station by a female officer, stripped naked and remarked upon at great length: “It’s got tits and a dick, what the hell do we do with it?”

“Really? I’ve got to see this!”

“Damn, it really does, call someone down from medical.”

“Hey, Jimmy, we’ve got something in booking you have to see to believe!”

“Hey, I hear you’ve got one of those shemales in here, let me look at it.”

“What are we supposed to do with it?”

“Damn, it really is a he she.”

I wasn’t given clothes for an hour.

They finally put me in the section reserved for sex offenders. I had to fight. A Lot.

‘IT’S WHO I AM’

Bailey was born on the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota and adopted by a Southern Baptist minister and his wife from Carrollton, Georgia, after his mother was deemed unfit to take care of a newborn.

The relationship with the adopted parents is a strained one.

“My lifestyle is not in keeping with the church’s teachings. From their point of view it’s my lifestyle, from my point of view it’s who I am. We agree to not talk about it,” Bailey says.

Bailey met Sherry in 2009 and they married on Sept. 10, 2011, in the chapel at Westview Cemetery.

“We’ve rescued so many animals in this neighborhood,” says Sherry Bailey. “We have five cats and a dog. We had four cats, but neighbor moved and left their cat and said they would come back to get it and of course they never did.”

After a year of dating, Bailey tried to break it off with Sherry. She refused to take no for an answer and went to Bailey’s home one night, climbed the fence, and forced Bailey to talk to her.

“I was covered in blood and bruises and knocked on the back door and I told him he could not do this to me. He told me everybody he has ever told this to has left him,” Sherry Bailey explains.

“Then he told me he was transgender. I was, ‘That’s all?’ I’m thinking it was something horrible.”

Her opinion of Bailey never wavered.

“I like people for who they are, not what they are,” she says.

Bailey only half-jokingly says he’s hoping they will be the first lesbian couple legally married in Georgia. “I’m a girl. But I like flannel, I like jeans,” Bailey says with a laugh.

Their life together is a pretty normal one.

Bailey owns a business and is known by many as “Decatur Handyman.” Sherry Bailey is a real estate agent. The couple is active in the Westview community with the Beltline, garbage cleanup and, of course, pet rescues.

“We do work, we hang out with friends, we do laundry, cut the grass. This is not some off-the-wall fetish that happens,” Sherry Bailey says. “Our biggest excitement is rescuing animals. We are not something odd. This is just our life.”

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Burly Bakers is about to get burlier Passion for baking helped gay Atlanta man through personal turmoil

By PATRICK SAUNDERS

I

f there were any doubt about the saying “it’s never too late to start over,” Bill Armstrong is here to erase it.

The gay Atlanta man went into recovery for drug and alcohol addiction at age 37 and quickly found an unlikely outlet to cope with the transition.

“It was during the first few months of being sober that I started baking,” he says.

“That was what started it for me. It was very therapeutic.”

He soon shared his sweet treats with friends, and enjoyed the positive response. Over time he got to thinking, why not be a baker? He had no food service background or professional culinary training, but he was passionate about baking and he could do it on the side along with his full-time job as an IT consultant, so he would still have an income coming in. Later, who knew what could happen?

So, in May 2013, he started Burly Bakers, a mail-order bakery. Now, with great wordof-mouth, a successful Kickstarter campaign, a Facebook following over 10,000 strong, a forthcoming partnership with a national retailer and orders continuing to come through, Armstrong is glad he pursued the path he did while enduring such personal turmoil.

“When I did that, everything opened up,” he says.

‘FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOVE FOR ME’

While Armstrong didn’t start baking on his own until much later, the seed was planted early on. His mother was always baking and trying new things in the kitchen.

“I think because of that, food has always been love for me,” he says. “It’s always had a special connection.”

Through Burly Bakers, he’s been successful in recreating that connection for baked goods lovers throughout the country. It’s not something he takes for granted.

“I can’t tell you how many customers have contacted me describing the experience of eating the stuff I’ve created for them. I don’t think there’s anything else [but food] that can really create that bond with people,” he says.

The Burly Bakers tagline is “If you’re going to be bad, it better be good.” It’s a

Southern Style Pecan Pie This pecan pie can kick the molasses out of any other pie in the South, Armstrong promises. “After one bite, you’ll believe it.”

Ingredients n 1 (9-inch) pie shell n 3/4 stick unsalted butter n 1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar n 3/4 cup dark corn syrup n 2 teaspoons vanilla extract n 1/2 teaspoon grated orange zest n 1/4 teaspoon salt n 3 large eggs n 2 cups pecan halves Preparation 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Melt butter in a heavy saucepan over medium heat. Add brown sugar, whisk until smooth.

Remove from heat. Whisk in corn syrup, vanilla extract, orange zest, and salt. Lightly beat eggs in a separate bowl, then whisk into corn syrup mixture.

3. Spread pecan halves in pie shell. Pour corn syrup mixture evenly over them. Bake on hot baking sheet on middle rack of oven until filling is set, 50 minutes to 1 hour. Cool completely before serving.

DETAILS

Check out Bill Armstrong’s recipe for Apple Pecan Crumb Pie at www.thegavoice.com. Visit burlybakers.com for a list of goodies.

just-suggestive-enough style of marketing that’s gained serious traction, but for Armstrong it all goes back to the food.

“To me there’s nothing worse than a bad dessert that’s deprived of all the good things like the butter and the sugar,” he says. “If I’m going to have a dessert, I’m going to have a dessert.”

KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN LEADS TO SPOT WITH NATIONAL RETAILER

Armstrong’s desserts are on display along with some other local eye candy in the Burly Bakers wall calendar, offered as one of the incentives for donating to the company’s recent Kickstarter campaign to grow his business.

Gay Atlanta man Bill Armstrong loves the connection he makes with customers of Burly Bakers. (Photo by Les Bouska)

The original goal was to raise $25,000 but in just 30 days over the summer, donations tallied nearly $30,000. With that, Armstrong was able to buy new cooking equipment. He hoped to be able to open up his own Burly Bakers storefront with the money, but filling the orders was more expensive than he calculated, so it’s just the equipment for now.

“But the exposure I got through that has been priceless,” he says.

It’s a good thing he got the equipment, because ever since he’s been busy filling the Kickstarter orders. He’s about 80 percent through with it, thanks to some additional helping hands, and looks to fill all the orders by Christmas.

In addition to the Kickstarter orders and new orders, a big step forward will occur in January, as Burly Bakers partners with its first national retailer. Lucky’s Market, a Colorado-based gourmet food chain with locations throughout the country, will begin stocking Burly Bakers pies, brownies, cookies and more in all of its stores. Armstrong says that while there are no Lucky’s Market locations in Georgia, they are looking to expand here soon.

Meanwhile, he’s gone from being a full-time IT consultant while doing Burly Bakers on the side to an even time split between the two. He has dropped half his IT clients, and eventually the goal is to do Burly Bakers full time.

GA VOICE | 14

DINING & DRINK

12.05.14

www.theGAVoice.com

Bacon Candy Canes 5.95 Heliotrope

Merry Christmas, have some meat candy!

When we told Santa Claus about these Bacon Candy Canes, he nearly fell out of his sleigh.

Then he let out a jolly guffaw and thanked us for saving Christmas. These candy canes are a great Christmas red that blends in seamlessly with standard peppermint candy canes. Do what you will with that information.

Bacon Christmas Ornament

What’s on the menu?

$7.95 Heliotrope

The perfect ornament to prove your love of bacon. The whole ornament glitters so much, some people think it’s covered with a thick layer of actual bacon fat. Decorating with a Bacon Ornament is far more sanitary than decorating with actual bacon. Plus, it won’t start to smell bad after a couple of days.

Food and booze are great for the holidays— these gift ideas are sure to hit the spot

Doughnut Maple Bacon Ale by Rogue Voodoo $10.99 Green’s Beverages

Rogue Ales has collided with Voodoo Doughnut to create Bacon Maple Ale! This unique creation contains a baker’s dozen number of ingredients including bacon and maple syrup from one of Voodoo’s signature doughnuts.

HELIOTROPE 248 West Ponce de Leon Ave. Decatur, GA 30030 414-371-0400 www.Heliotropehome.com GREEN’S BEVERAGE STORES 2614 Buford Highway NE 404-321-6232 737 Ponce de Leon Ave. 404-872 110 www.greensbeverages.com

WhistlePig The Boss Hog $162.99 Green’s Beverages

Comprised of only 24 of WhistlePig’s oldest and finest barrels, The Boss Hog release is an audacious offering of pure barrel strength 100 percent single grain rye whiskey.

www.theGAVoice.com

DINING & DRINK

12.05.14

GA VOICE

|

15

La Creuset Camembert Baker $40 The Cook’s Warehouse

Transform Camembert or any other soft cheese into a warm, savory appetizer. Place a wheel of cheese inside the dish and bake until partially melted, then top with your favorite fruit, chutney or jam. Serve straight from the baker with crackers or crusty bread.

THE COOK’S WAREHOUSE 1544 Piedmont Ave. NE 404-815-4993 4062 Peachtree Road 404-949-9945 180 West Ponce de Leon Ave. 404-377-4005

IMproper Greeting Cocktail Napkins

1311 Johnson Ferry Road, Suite 568 Marietta, GA 30068 770-565-8005 www.cookswarehouse.com

These wickedly funny paper holiday cocktail napkins are sure to be a hit at holiday parties. These are a great and budget-friendly gift for the hosts or hostesses or to use for your own holiday soiree.

$5.50 Heliotrope

Sensation Wine Set $69.99 The Cook’s Warehouse

Stylish and elegant with their curious shape, the Maxwell & Williams Sensations decanter aerates your wine before serving. Hand-made of mouthblown glass, these decanters allow each bottle to reach its full flavor potential.

Whiskey Wedge $14.99 The Cook’s Warehouse

The artful way to perfectly chill, but not water down your favorite spirits, this silicone form and glass are packaged together. The silicone form fits perfectly in the glass, fill glass with water, freeze and remove form; now you have a perfect wedge of low melting ice in your glass. Pour your favorite spirit and enjoy!

Green Fairy Absinthe Flask $26.95 Heliotrope

Drink up with the Green Fairy! Created by the artists, Trixie & Milo, these flasks are slim enough to fit in your hip pocket or purse, and stylish enough to show to all your friends.

GA VOICE | 16

DINING & DRINK

12.05.14

www.theGAVoice.com

All hail the Chicken Sausage Queen of Atlanta Lesbian restaurateur Delia Champion looks toward 2015

By PATRICK SAUNDERS

D

elia Champion is no stranger to the Atlanta food scene. The openly gay LaVista Park resident opened The Flying Biscuit in Candler Park in 1993, then added a second location in Midtown at 10th Street and Piedmont Avenue in 2000. After selling The Flying Biscuit to Raving Brands in 2006, she worked as a consultant to the restaurant’s new owners, advising new franchisees in The Flying Biscuit way.

“I wanted The Flying Biscuit to be successful and I wanted to understand how franchising worked,” she says.

Over time, however, she grew restless and wanted to get back into the ownership game, missing the customer interaction and serving people quality food. Luckily, she had kept something important in her back pocket after selling The Flying Biscuit—her chicken sausage business.

The product had been available in local grocery stores since 2008. One day the people at the Kroger on Moreland Avenue in East Atlanta Village allowed her to cook and serve the chicken sausage in-store.

“I’d stand there and then one person would come up and then three people and then five people and then I’m in the weeds,” she says. “That’s one of the things that helped me think, ‘Well, maybe I can make a go of this.’”

Just down the road from that Kroger, she found the perfect location; one that allowed customers to get out of their cars and walk right up to the counter to place their orders.

“I got the property and just hoped one person would choose not to eat at McDonald’s and would eat my sausage instead,” she says.

They did.

The first Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand opened on St. Patrick’s Day 2011, and it turned out as lucky as she hoped it would, gaining a loyal and growing following that led to the opening of a second location on Marietta Street on the Westside this past July.

THE “ULTRA CASUAL” WAY OF LIFE

Of all the types of food one could serve, you don’t expect to see a restaurateur cross off all other possibilities and land on “chicken sausage.” But that’s what Champion did.

“When I opened The Flying Biscuit, I really wanted a healthier breakfast that was still steeped in Southern roots and is food that I like to eat,” she says.

Chicken sausage is more nutritious,

Former The Flying Biscuit owner and current Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand owner Delia Champion loves serving Atlanta’s hungry masses. (Photos by Studio Chambers)

Delia’s Food Truck Favorites The Pickle

Serves: Tex-Mex, bayou and Southern specialties www.thepickleatl.com

Yumbii

Serves: Fusion of Asian and Mexican flavors www.yumbii.com

Mighty Meatballs

Serves: Do you have to ask? www.mightymeatballs.com with 70 percent less fat and less sodium than pork, she says. That settled it for her.

While “fast casual” is now a ubiquitous term thanks to the success of chains like Chipotle, Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint and others, there’s another burgeoning category called “ultra casual.” Think fewer seating options and with plastic utensils instead of real ones, but the food is cooked from scratch. That’s where Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand lands.

“You can’t serve the egg until it’s done, so I’m not always fast,” Champion says.

DELIA ON EXPANSION, FOOD TRUCKS

When it came time to open a second store, the Marietta Street location had more than enough of a customer base, with Georgia Tech, Georgia State and several clubs in the area.

“Friday and Saturday nights we’re open 24 hours and all the kids are out at the

clubs—all the young, hip and cool people that are nothing like I am,” Champion says with a laugh.

But is there a third location in the works for the chicken sausage queen of Atlanta?

“You have to be careful with real estate, it’s so costly,” she says. “The store on Marietta Street took two years to get it open and build it out. But I’m always looking.”

And don’t look for her to franchise Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand either. Her memory of doing the same with The Flying Biscuit is less than glowing.

“It’s like ‘A Tale of Two Cities.’ It was the best of times and it was the worst of times,” she says. “Franchisees are the best employees and the worst employees. Some people have leveraged their homes and family savings and I just go ‘Oh my goodness.’ What a responsibility! They’ve given you money and you encourage them to do what you feel is right.”

Although people bill Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand as a “food truck without wheels,” don’t expect those wheels to begin to roll in the near future.

“I love the food truck concept, but the model is just not there yet,” she says. “I would like five stores before looking at the food truck model again. It’s just so difficult.”

‘AS LONG AS IT’S FUN I’M STILL GOING TO KEEP DOING IT’

Things are good enough as they are in Champion’s world. Each morning she wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee, heads to a little sitting area in her backyard and pulls

up her restaurants’ real-time sales numbers and a manager’s log where employees record their challenges from day to day.

Then she visits both Delia’s locations and goes home, ideally no later than 6 p.m. She does this four to five days a week.

“I get to live this charmed life because I have the best employees,” she says. “They bring their heart to work every day even when their feet hurt.”

She also cites the skills of business partner John Amend, who handles all the high level finances of the operation.

As for what 2015 holds in store for her, aside from the business, Delia is spending more time with her longtime partner Wendy. The couple married in Montreal in 2006, and after major portions of the Defense of Marriage Act were struck down last June, she was thrilled to file her federal taxes jointly for the first time this year.

“For me, that was huge. I’m 60. I wasn’t so sure I would ever see that in my lifetime,” she says. “On New Year’s Eve, I write down the milestones of my life. I’ve done that for 20 years. That will definitely be one of the things from this year.”

And if marriage equality came to Georgia, she says she and Wendy would be among the first in line for a marriage license from their home state.

But no matter what, she has no intention of throwing in the towel any time soon when it comes to serving the Atlanta masses.

“As long as it’s fun I’m still going to keep doing it. Nothing is better than having a guest say they love your food.”

www.theGAVoice.com

12.05.14

GA VOICE

|

17

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27-month lease with 10K miles per year allowed, $0.25 per mile thereafter. Security deposit is waived

by Lexus Financial Services and included in the $359/month offer. Based on approved credit to a very well-qualified buyer through Lexus Financial Services. Excludes GA TAVT tax and registration fees. Expires 12/31/14.

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Net selling price $32,558 (includes $1,350 lease cash). Residual value $21,958. Zero due at signing.

36-month lease with 10K miles per year allowed, $0.25 per mile thereafter. Based on approved credit to a very well-qualified buyer through Lexus Financial Services. Excludes GA TAVT tax and registration fees. Expires 12/31/14.

4025 Jonesboro Road Union City, GA 30291

Joyous holiday wishes to you and your family …

Cleo Meyer, Agent 1776 Peachtree St NE Atlanta, GA 30309 Bus: 404-817-0960 cleo@cleomeyer.com

from your good neighbor.

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Marsh to west. Marsh and Sapelo Sound to the east. This is a writer’s studio and good books have been written here. If you want a small, secluded jewel box, this is it.

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GA VOICE | 18

DINING & DRINK

12.05.14

www.theGAVoice.com

‘Crafting a better cocktail’ Spice up your drinks with bitters and tinctures

By DYANA BAGBY Missy and Kristin Koefod are the power lesbian couple behind a burgeoning business known as 18.21 Bitters. The two met more than five years ago, got married, and in July, with the help of a successful Kickstarter campaign, launched the Atlanta-based company dedicated to “crafting a better cocktail.”

Missy Koefod is a lawyer and real estate agent and Kristin Koefod an interior designer, but now they devote all their time to their new joint venture.

We caught up with the duo to find out more about Prohibition-era bitters, where you can find some of their bitters and tinctures in the city, and some favorite cocktail recipes for the holidays.

How did 18.21 Bitters come about?

Kristin: Missy and I love craft cocktails and love New Orleans. When we visit, one of our favorite things to do is try the innovative craft cocktails that barmen and women in that city create. When we came back to Atlanta we wanted to work on our own craft cocktails at home but weren’t happy with a lot of the mixers out there.

Since we were using premium craft spirits, we wanted premium bitters and mixers so we ended up making them ourselves.

Missy and I were both interested in starting a business and felt like this was something both of us were connected to. We made a go of it and we also had a very successful Kickstarter thanks to friends, family, strangers and Missy’s amazing law school classmates. We started last January but got labels and production up and running in May so our official launch was not until 2014 Tales of the Cocktail back in July in New Orleans.

How did you come up with the name?

Missy: I guess I am bit of a law geek so I thought it would be fun to name the company after Prohibition. The 18th Amendment enacted Prohibition and the 21st repealed it.

Back then you really needed to add something to your booze to either disguise it from the authorities or improve its flavor so we thought it was fitting.

What exactly are bitters and tinctures and what are they used for?

Kristin: Historically, bitters were used for medicinal purposes. Now, bitters and tinctures are like the spices of cocktails.

They add depth, diminution and a completeness to a cocktail. Tinctures are just like bitters except without the bittering

Lesbian couple Missy and Kristin Koefod started their business 18.21 Bitters over the summer after failing to find the kind of mixtures they wanted to craft cocktails. (Courtesy photo)

DETAILS 18.21 Bitters

Serpas, Bad Dog Taqueria, Il Localino, and TopFlr (not an exclusive list). We are in eight states and two countries and growing.

1821bitters.com

agent. They add spice, or additional cocktail flavoring, depending on which you use.

What drew you to this kind of work?

Missy: Prior to law school, I was a bartender and then a bar owner. I grew up with my dad making Old Fashioned cocktails and he always had Angostura that he shook into them. I guess I grew up with an old school view on cocktails and as my experience in bartending and experimenting with cocktails grew, I tried to add a new twist to the classic cocktail bitter and went from there. Kristin really is the flavor guru. She comes from a family of foodies and her instincts when it comes to pairing flavors are apparent in our cocktails and product flavor profiles.

Tell us about the process of making bitters.

Kristin: Bitters can be kind of complicated and time consuming to make. Basically we take fruits, herbs, spices and bittering agents and combine them after soaking them in high proof spirits to extract the flavor we desire. That is the essence of making bitters and a batch typically takes us almost a month.

How’s business and where can people find your bitters?

Missy: Business is steadily growing. You can find our products at local retail establishments like Ansley Wine Merchants, Decatur Package Store, H+F Bottle Shop and Market Across the Street as well as drinks crafted with our products at places like Kyma, The Albert, 4th and Swift, Pinewood Tippling Room,

Some favorite recipes?

Missy: My favorite is the “Old Spice”— I love mezcal and pumpkin spice so you can’t beat this in my book.

Old Spice 1.5 ounces of mezcal 1 ounce of 18.21 Bitters Pumpkin Spice Shrub n .75 ounce of Domain de Canto n .75 ounce of lemon juice n 1 egg white n 6 drops 18.21 Bitters Ginger Lemon Tincture n 4 drops 18.21 Bitters Prohibition Aromatic Bitters n Garnish with grated Allspice n n

Kristin: I have two for the holidays, “White Christmas” and “Mistletoe and Holly.”

White Christmas 1.5 ounce of gin 1 ounce of 18.21 Bitters Ginger Beer Concentrate n .75 Velvet Falernum n .5 Brovo Douglas Fir Liqueur n .5 St. Germain n A whole egg n .5 ounce of half and half, n 10 drops 18.21 Bitters Prohibition Aromatic Bitters n Garnish with a rosemary sprig n n

Mistletoe and Holly 1.5 ounce Cathead Vodka .75 ounce Brovo Douglas Fir Liqueur n .5 ounce Creme de Noyaux n 1 ounce 18.21 Bitters Holiday Syrup n 5 ounces 18.21 Bitters Ginger Beer Concentrate n 6 drops 18.21 Bitters Ginger Lemon Tincture n Garnish with cranberries and rosemary sprig n n

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Dad’s Garage invades the Hertz Stage in a parody of It’s a Wonderful Life —where the audience plays a part of each night’s invasion.

Dinner & Show with TAP

On Thursday and Saturday evenings, one low price of $44* gets you a ticket to see It’s a Wonderful Laugh featuring the Dad’s Garage Ensemble at the Alliance Theatre and dinner at TAP (1180 Peachtree St.).

7:30 p.m., 8:00 p.m., and 10:30 p.m. performances!

November 28–December 20 Tickets @ 404.733.5000 alliancetheatre.org/wonderfullaugh | Groups 404.733.4690 *Available on Thursday & Saturday evenings for 7:30 and 8:00pm performances (11/29, 12/4, 12/16, 12/11, 12/13, 12/18, 12/20). Not to be combined with other offers and not valid on previously purchased tickets. Subject to availability. Gratuity and alcohol not included. NO late seating on the Hertz Stage.

Series on the Hertz Stage

Mayor’s Office of Cultural Affairs

By The Dad’s Garage Ensemble Directed by Kevin Gillese

What is STRIBILD? STRIBILD is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. It combines 4 medicines into 1 pill to be taken once a day with food. STRIBILD is a complete single-tablet regimen and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses you must keep taking STRIBILD. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids.

Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION What is the most important information I should know about STRIBILD? STRIBILD can cause serious side effects: • Build-up of an acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include feeling very weak or tired, unusual (not normal) muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold especially in your arms and legs, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Serious liver problems. The liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and fatty (steatosis). Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice), dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored bowel movements (stools), loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach pain.

• You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking STRIBILD for a long time. In some cases, these serious conditions have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions.

• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you also have HBV and stop taking STRIBILD, your hepatitis may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking STRIBILD without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health. STRIBILD is not approved for the treatment of HBV.

Who should not take STRIBILD? Do not take STRIBILD if you: • Take a medicine that contains: alfuzosin, dihydroergotamine, ergotamine, methylergonovine, cisapride, lovastatin, simvastatin, pimozide, sildenafil when used for lung problems (Revatio®), triazolam, oral midazolam, rifampin or the herb St. John’s wort.

• For a list of brand names for these medicines, please see the Brief Summary on the following pages.

• Take any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection, or the medicine adefovir (Hepsera®).

What are the other possible side effects of STRIBILD? Serious side effects of STRIBILD may also include: • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do regular blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before and during treatment with STRIBILD. If you develop kidney problems, your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking STRIBILD. • Bone problems, including bone pain or bones getting soft or thin, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones.

• Changes in body fat can happen in people taking HIV-1 medicines.

• Changes in your immune system.

Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking STRIBILD. The most common side effects of STRIBILD include nausea and diarrhea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or don’t go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking STRIBILD? • All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. STRIBILD may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how STRIBILD works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Do not start any new medicines while taking STRIBILD without first talking with your healthcare provider.

• If you take hormone-based birth control (pills, patches, rings, shots, etc).

• If you take antacids. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or after you take STRIBILD. • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if STRIBILD can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking STRIBILD. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed.

HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. Also, some medicines in STRIBILD can pass into breast milk, and it is not known if this can harm the baby.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Brief Summary of full Prescribing Information with important warnings on the following pages.

STRIBILD is a prescription medicine used as a complete single-tablet regimen to treat HIV-1 in adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

I started my personal revolution Talk to your healthcare provider about starting treatment.

STRIBILD is a complete HIV-1 treatment in 1 pill, once a day.

Ask if it’s right for you.

Patient Information STRIBILD® (STRY-bild) (elvitegravir 150 mg/cobicistat 150 mg/emtricitabine 200 mg/ tenofovir disoproxil fumarate 300 mg) tablets Brief summary of full Prescribing Information. For more information, please see the full Prescribing Information, including Patient Information.

What is STRIBILD? • STRIBILD is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. STRIBILD is a complete regimen and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

• STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. You must stay on continuous HIV-1 therapy to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses.

• Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others. Do not share or reuse needles, injection equipment, or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them. Do not have sex without protection. Always practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood.

What is the most important information I should know about STRIBILD? STRIBILD can cause serious side effects, including: 1. Build-up of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis). Lactic acidosis can happen in some people who take STRIBILD or similar (nucleoside analogs) medicines. Lactic acidosis is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Lactic acidosis can be hard to identify early, because the symptoms could seem like symptoms of other health problems. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms which could be signs of lactic acidosis: • feel very weak or tired • have unusual (not normal) muscle pain • have trouble breathing • have stomach pain with nausea or vomiting • feel cold, especially in your arms and legs • feel dizzy or lightheaded • have a fast or irregular heartbeat 2. Severe liver problems. Severe liver problems can happen in people who take STRIBILD. In some cases, these liver problems can lead to death. Your liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and you may develop fat in your liver (steatosis). Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms of liver problems: • your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice) • dark “tea-colored” urine • light-colored bowel movements (stools) • loss of appetite for several days or longer • nausea • stomach pain You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking STRIBILD for a long time.

3. Worsening of Hepatitis B infection. If you have hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection and take STRIBILD, your HBV may get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking STRIBILD. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before.

• Do not run out of STRIBILD. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your STRIBILD is all gone

• Do not stop taking STRIBILD without first talking to your healthcare provider • If you stop taking STRIBILD, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly for several months to check your HBV infection. Tell your healthcare provider about any new or unusual symptoms you may have after you stop taking STRIBILD Who should not take STRIBILD? Do not take STRIBILD if you also take a medicine that contains: • adefovir (Hepsera®) • alfuzosin hydrochloride (Uroxatral®) • cisapride (Propulsid®, Propulsid Quicksolv®) • ergot-containing medicines, including: dihydroergotamine mesylate (D.H.E. 45®, Migranal®), ergotamine tartrate (Cafergot®, Migergot®, Ergostat®, Medihaler Ergotamine®, Wigraine®, Wigrettes®), and methylergonovine maleate (Ergotrate®, Methergine®) • lovastatin (Advicor®, Altoprev®, Mevacor®) • oral midazolam • pimozide (Orap®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®) • sildenafil (Revatio®), when used for treating lung problems • simvastatin (Simcor®, Vytorin®, Zocor®) • triazolam (Halcion®) • the herb St. John’s wort Do not take STRIBILD if you also take any other HIV-1 medicines, including: • Other medicines that contain tenofovir (Atripla®, Complera®, Viread®, Truvada®) • Other medicines that contain emtricitabine, lamivudine, or ritonavir (Atripla®, Combivir®, Complera®, Emtriva®, Epivir® or Epivir-HBV®, Epzicom®, Kaletra®, Norvir®, Trizivir®, Truvada®) STRIBILD is not for use in people who are less than 18 years old.

What are the possible side effects of STRIBILD? STRIBILD may cause the following serious side effects: • See “What is the most important information I should know about STRIBILD?” • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking STRIBILD. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking STRIBILD if you develop new or worse kidney problems.

• Bone problems can happen in some people who take STRIBILD. Bone problems include bone pain, softening or thinning (which may lead to fractures). Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your bones.

• Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medicine.

These changes may include increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the middle of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having any new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine.

The most common side effects of STRIBILD include: • Nausea • Diarrhea Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

• These are not all the possible side effects of STRIBILD. For more information, ask your healthcare provider.

• Call your healthcare provider for medical advice about side effects.

You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking STRIBILD? Tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including: • If you have or had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis B infection • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if STRIBILD can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking STRIBILD. - There is a pregnancy registry for women who take antiviral medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of this registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk with your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry.

• If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take STRIBILD. - You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

- Two of the medicines in STRIBILD can pass to your baby in your breast milk. It is not known if the other medicines in STRIBILD can pass into your breast milk.

- Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements: • STRIBILD may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how STRIBILD works.

• Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you take any of the following medicines: - Hormone-based birth control (pills, patches, rings, shots, etc) - Antacid medicines that contain aluminum, magnesium hydroxide, or calcium carbonate. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or after you take STRIBILD - Medicines to treat depression, organ transplant rejection, or high blood pressure - amiodarone (Cordarone®, Pacerone®) - atorvastatin (Lipitor®, Caduet®) - bepridil hydrochloride (Vascor®, Bepadin®) - bosentan (Tracleer®) - buspirone - carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®) - clarithromycin (Biaxin®, Prevpac®) - clonazepam (Klonopin®) - clorazepate (Gen-xene®, Tranxene®) - colchicine (Colcrys®) - medicines that contain dexamethasone - diazepam (Valium®)

- digoxin (Lanoxin®) - disopyramide (Norpace®) - estazolam - ethosuximide (Zarontin®) - flecainide (Tambocor®) - flurazepam - fluticasone (Flovent®, Flonase®, Flovent® Diskus®, Flovent® HFA, Veramyst®) - itraconazole (Sporanox®) - ketoconazole (Nizoral®) - lidocaine (Xylocaine®) - mexiletine - oxcarbazepine (Trileptal®) - perphenazine - phenobarbital (Luminal®) - phenytoin (Dilantin®, Phenytek®) - propafenone (Rythmol®) - quinidine (Neudexta®) - rifabutin (Mycobutin®) - rifapentine (Priftin®) - risperidone (Risperdal®, Risperdal Consta®) - salmeterol (Serevent®) or salmeterol when taken in combination with fluticasone (Advair Diskus®, Advair HFA®) - sildenafil (Viagra®), tadalafil (Cialis®) or vardenafil (Levitra®, Staxyn®), for the treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED). If you get dizzy or faint (low blood pressure), have vision changes or have an erection that last longer than 4 hours, call your healthcare provider or get medical help right away.

- tadalafil (Adcirca®), for the treatment of pulmonary arterial hypertension - telithromycin (Ketek®) - thioridazine - voriconazole (Vfend®) - warfarin (Coumadin®, Jantoven®) - zolpidem (Ambien®, Edlular®, Intermezzo®, Zolpimist®) Know the medicines you take. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. Do not start any new medicines while you are taking STRIBILD without first talking with your healthcare provider.

Keep STRIBILD and all medicines out of reach of children.

This Brief Summary summarizes the most important information about STRIBILD. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can also ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about STRIBILD that is written for health professionals, or call 1-800-445-3235 or go to www.STRIBILD.com.

Issued: October 2013

COMPLERA, EMTRIVA, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, HEPSERA, STRIBILD, the STRIBILD Logo, TRUVADA, and VIREAD are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. ATRIPLA is a trademark of Bristol-Myers Squibb & Gilead Sciences, LLC. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. © 2014 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. STBC0111 10/14

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

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Nothing but the truth: An interview with

Ty Herndon

e’ to gay country artists

Living and loving as a gay country singer in Nashville

By GREGG SHAPIRO

C

ountry singer Ty Herndon, who began topping the country music charts nearly 20 years ago, came out publicly as a gay man a week before Thanksgiving. That’s something for which country music fans, gay and straight, can be thankful. A country charttopper in the 1990s, Herndon’s hits include “What Matters Most,” “Living In A Moment,” “It Must Be Love” and “Loved Too Much,” to mention a few.

He hit some low points, too. In 1995, he was arrested and charged with indecent exposure for allegedly exposing himself to a police officer (the charge was later dropped in a plea bargain) and he also struggled with a methamphetamine addiction.

Now an out and proud gay man, with a partner of five years named Matty, Herndon, 56, is one of the LGBT artists in Nashville working to make the country music capital a safe and productive place for queer musicians and queer followers of the popular music genre. In late November, we spoke with Ty about coming out, his career and more.

Ty Herndon came out gay last month and is believed to be the first openly gay country music singer to play the Grand Ole Opry. (Publicity photo)

How has the coming out experience been so far?

I feel so incredibly blessed. I have struggled with being gay my entire career and life. Of course, I’ve had so much support from my friends and close family that supported me, that knew I was gay. But it’s been so freeing for the fans to know; the fans in country music, especially. They have really been supportive and awesome. There are always going to be the naysayers and we’ve had a few of those. Ninety-nine percent of the feedback from the fans and in Nashville has been incredibly supportive. It’s blown my mind, to be honest with you. I feel extremely happy. And I feel extremely excited about the future because, really, at the end of the day I just want to be authentic and continue to make great music. That’s what I was what put on this planet to do, that’s my gift. I’m singing better than I ever have.

There’s lots of music coming in the New Year. That really makes me happy.

DETAILS

Read the entire interview with Ty Herndon at www.thegavoice.com

You performed at the Grand Ole Opry— how was that show?

I was nervous walking into it. To my knowledge, no openly gay man has ever walked on the Ryman stage and performed. That is the Mother Church. I have so much respect for it.

I’ve performed at the Grand Ole Opry 25 times in my career, but this one was a big deal to me simply because I am a part of the fabric of country music and I was hoping that I would be accepted. I told my manager …, “If there’s security at the back door, I hope they’re just there to shake my hand and say come on in.” That’s exactly what happened. All of the artists were extremely supportive. We walked onstage to a full house and a big, loving, cheering crowd.

Prior to going public, did you consult with other out country artists, such as Brandy Clark or Chely Wright, before making your decision to come out?

Chely Wright and I have been friends for many years. Our paths are so similar in country music. We went to great lengths to hide the fact that we were gay. Five or so years ago when Chely came out, I was so incredibly blown away by her bravery and courage. About six months later, we started talking about it. I didn’t want her to be alone out there. It took a while for me to get my courage up, just to wrap my brain around it. I was really fearful about being able to continue working and doing my job, working 200 tour dates a year. That was my main fear. If I don’t get to continue to do my job that I love, my passion, I don’t know what I’d do. Through Chely, I was able to get educated about all of the fans out there and the new landscape of what my life would be like. I became very comfortable with the fact that I wasn’t going to let who I authentically am stop me from making the music I love.

God gave me great courage and Chely was my godsister through all of it and we did it together.

Finally, Ty, as gay marriage continues to make strides across the country, if you and your boyfriend Matty were to marry, to what song would you like to walk down the aisle?

That’s an easy question for me. There’s a Rascal Flatts song that I referred to, “God Bless The Broken Road That Has Led Me Straight To You.” That would be our wedding song. And if I had my wish, I would have my friend LeAnn Rimes come and sing it.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Billy Gilman adds his ‘voice’ to gay country artists Former child star comes out with support of family, fans

By GREGG SHAPIRO

N

ational Coming Out Day is in October, but two country music artists waited until late November to share their good news. Ty Herndon was the first one out of the gate on Nov. 20, followed shortly thereafter on the same day by Billy Gilman.

Gilman, like fellow country diva LeAnn Rimes, got his big break when he was just a kid. Possessing a powerful voice and impressive vocal range, Gilman released his major-label debut album, “One Voice,” at the age of 11 in 2000.

Gilman released a video on his website telling the world he is gay while also acknowledging it’s not easy being a gay country music artist. He also thanked Herndon for making it easier for him to come out. We talked to him about fan reaction to his coming out, his family’s support, being a child star, and what song would be played at his wedding.

How does a Rhode Island native, a New Englander, become a Nashville star?

I grew up singing country music. Country music is so huge in my neck of the woods, believe it or not. People find it hard to believe, but country music is big around here. There’s no memory of not having country music in my life. The Grand Ole Opry and watching the awards shows that would come on and listening to Garth Brooks and Pam Tillis, it was just part of my life and always has been.

It’s easier than you think [laughs].

As someone who got his start as a child star in country, did you ever cross paths with LeAnn Rimes, another country music child star, and was she someone you looked to as a role model?

Absolutely! LeAnn Rimes was so great to me, and we are still great friends to this day. I met her first when I was 11. I’m sure she took a liking to me because she saw me going through what she went through a few years before being a child herself. There’s a common factor with her and whatnot. She’s always been a great support system.

On Nov. 20, history was made in Nashville and the realm of country music when you and Ty Herndon both came out as gay.

You cited Ty in your coming out message.

How did he help you through this?

It was amazing! I’ve known Ty for a while.

He was on the same record label as I was a few years back. He’s a great singer. This was something that I have been going back and forth with for about a month. I was nervous and reluctant. You never know what’s going to happen. I was set to do it that day and was reading Twitter and read the he had come out. I was like, “Oh, wow! This is very coincidental and very odd.” But things happen for a reason. He (Ty) really helped me push the pedal to further it. He put me into high gear.

He gave me enough confidence to do what I needed to do. He’s a very brave person and a courageous artist. He did help immensely in my situation. My hat’s off to him and my thanks to him always for that.

How has the response been from your fans?

My fans have been amazing. Even people that kind of followed my career a little bit have been amazing. No matter what you do in life, it doesn’t matter if it was this situation or I wanted to change genres, whatever—someone is always going to have an opinion. You have to brace yourself for a good opinion or a bad one. Everyone is entitled to whatever they feel. You have to keep a positive head and do your thing. So far, the comments and support has been amazing and I’m so grateful for that.

How did your family react to your coming out?

My family was nothing but supportive.

That was really amazing to me. They have not changed. Their support has stayed the same.

I am so grateful for that. It’s been nothing but positive in that respect. I’ve always been surrounded by support and nothing has changed.

Would you ever perform at a Pride festival if you were asked?

Absolutely. If the situation is correct and it’s in a respectful manner. That’s how I’ve conducted my business for the past 15 years.

I would have no problem doing that. It’s for the greater good and that’s what it’s about.

You mentioned your partner in your coming out video. With same-sex marriage continuing to make strides across the country, if at some point you and your partner were to marry, to what song would you like to walk down the aisle?

One of mine! [laughs] I hadn’t thought about that. “At Last,” maybe. No, I’m kidding. [laughs]

Country music singer Billy Gilman, 26, came out as gay l in a video posted to his website last month.

(Publicity photo)

DETAILS

Read the entire interview with Billy Gilman at www.thegavoice.com

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THEATER BY JIM FARMER

Icy reception ‘The Snow Queen’ comes to Serenbe Playhouse Not only does Serenbe Playhouse’s “The Snow Queen,” a new holiday production, aim to please adults and kids alike, it also has a strong contingent of LGBT artists in its cast and crew.

In addition to director Brian Clowdus, the company’s artistic director, the production includes Ryan Oliveti, the assistant director, choreographer Bubba Carr, and two performers in the show—Will Skelton as Kia and Robert Lee Hindsman as Grundal and Hagatha, both new characters.

“The Snow Queen” is based on Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale, and Rachel Teagle’s adaptation of it is a world premiere. It is the first show that Serenbe, known for its immersive theater, has staged in the winter; most of their work is presented in summer.

It’s a story of good and evil, pitting two young characters against the titular Snow Queen.

Oliveti has been working with Serenbe since 2013, when he was the assistant director for

“Sleepy Hollow.” His task here is to help Clowdus do what is needed, whether it’s conducting research, helping to develop the script/backstories for characters or improving an accent.

“My job really is to help make sure that his vision actually happens,” says Oliveti.

Oliveti has worked in theaters around town, and after several gigs as an assistant director, he is pleased to be directing on his own for next year’s “Secret Garden” at Serenbe.

As part of the show, Hindsman is in drag as Hagatha, an old witch in the woods. A recent college graduate, Hindsman laughs at the irony of a 22-year-old playing a character in her 80s. It’s not his first Serenbe show—he played Oz in this year’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz”—but it’s still something of a learning curve to work on outdoor shows with the company. “Immersive theater is not easy,” he admits. Hindsman and the six other cast members are interns who’ve been living together, so it has made interacting simpler.

Former dancer Carr is also a Serenbe veteran. He worked on the company’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” in 2012, “Hair” the following year, and this year’s “Oz.” His

DETAILS ‘The Snow Queen’

Serenbe Playhouse 10640 Serenbe Lane, Chattahoochee Hills, GA 30268 Through Dec. 21 www.serenbeplayhouse.com

‘The Snow Queen,’ a fairy tale about good versus evil, runs through Dec. 21 at Serenbe Playhouse. (Photo by BreeAnne Clowdus)

most-noted show this season was perhaps “Oklahoma!” It’s one of his favorite musicals, and he and Clowdus made it a darker, “underbelly looking” version of the classic. His lengthy Act 1 dream sequence upped up the sexual component. “I tried to do something different with it,” he says.

According to Carr, Clowdus is very receptive to his style. “I tend to go to the dark, weird stuff pretty quickly and Brian will say what Serenbe can do,” says Carr. “But Serenbe is open; so many of them are artists. And Brian trusts me.

Our senses of humor meld. We laugh a lot and have serious talks. Sometimes we butt heads but I think that is artists in creation.”

He consciously never designs choreogra-

phy before rehearsals.

“I get the bodies in a room and I like to see how it develops,” Carr says. It’s been interesting, he notes, working with a cross section of performers, some with no dance training, and making the moves structurally interesting. He’s been able to challenge his crew and have them “rise to the occasion.”

For the character of the Snow Queen, he worked on moves to showcase all aspects of her. “I wanted to keep her strength but show her vulnerability and loneliness and sorrow and passion and rage—all the dimensions of the characters,” he says. The show also features troll characters, a reindeer and humans for him to choreograph.

He thinks LGBT people will be able to identify with the Snow Queen. “She wants to feel and connect with someone—and in the end, she has someone reach out and feel compassion for her,” Carr says. “As a gay man, I always felt separate. I felt different, not the same as other people until I found people who were accepting of who I was.”

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Laying the foundation Gentlemen’s Ball is part of a long-term vision for black gay love

By RYAN LEE Few couples have advocated for black gay love as fiercely as Juan and Gee SessionSmalls, the married Atlanta pair who run the blog LoveWorks. While encouraging black gay men to embark on modern love, Juan and Gee also hope to deliver past romantic milestones that many black gay men were denied.

“Chances are, a lot of us didn’t go to prom with who we really wanted to go with back then, so we wanted to do a second-chance prom,” Gee Session-Smalls says, describing how the couple came up with the idea of the Gentlemen’s Ball three years ago.

This year’s Gentlemen’s Ball takes place Dec. 7 at the Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta, and the black-tie affair adds a more grown-up and sexy feature to the usual social offerings.

“I think it’s amazing how every time we go out, or sometimes people will send us text messages saying, ‘I’m getting my suit

together!’” says Juan Session-Smalls. “I feel like getting dressed up in your tuxedo, and having 300, 400, 500 people in the room creates such an awesome energy. The energy at the ball is like no other event I’ve been to.”

“In that aspect, it’s just like prom with how excited people are about their outfits,” Gee adds.

However, in many ways, the event itself has matured beyond being a chance to attain what was missed in high school.

“I would no longer call it a prom, but rather a gala, a celebration of the true gentleman, which we believe is someone who stands proud in their truth, they’re confident in themselves and they’re giving to their community,” Gee says. “We highlight a lot of those in our community who are making strides and helping to change the face of what mainstream society, and sometimes even within our own community, of what a minority LGBT person looks like.”

The evening starts with a red-carpet arrival and cocktail reception, followed by a threecourse dinner and awards ceremony. Among those receiving honors are the Gentleman of Service, Holiday Simmons, Director of Community Education and Advocacy at Lambda Legal; the Gentleman of Excellence, Carlos King, a producer of reality TV shows such as “Hol-

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DETAILS The Third Annual Gentlemen’s Ball

Sunday, Dec. 7 7 p.m.

Atlanta Mariott Marquis www.thegentlemensfoundation.org

The Gentlemen’s Ball celebrates black gay love and highlights those changing the face of what mainstream society thinks a minority LGBT person looks like. (Courtesy photo)

lywood Divas”; and the Gentlemen of Promise, David and Tre-Darrius Anderson, touted as the youngest married black gay couple in America and founder of the Guys With Pride campaign.

“As a minority gay community, we know how great we are,” Gee says. “We all know that there’s a lot of great people doing great things in our community, and we’re trying to get everyone to take notice. We’re here and we have a voice.”

The ball also serves as a fundraiser for the Gentlemen’s Foundation, a nonprofit formed earlier this year to raise awareness of black LGBT issues, support black gay students and establish a mentoring program

titled “Impact,” which launches January 15, 2015. With black gay men—and specifically black gay couples—being omitted from everything from pop culture to LGBT political organizing, Juan believes grassroots efforts will lead to greater visibility.

“We’re a big proponent of ‘be the change that you seek,’ and who better to do it than us?” Juan says. “If we have a desire, why not create the programs, create the organizations within our own community to do everything that we say we want other organizations to do.

“The wind is picking up, and through social media, we’re becoming more connected with people all over the world,” he adds. “We get inquiries from Africa and London, and it’s just amazing how the word is spreading and the movement is reaching over the seas.”

The Gentlemen’s Ball adds momentum to the couple’s efforts to rally behind black gay love, Gee says.

“We have our love and relationships blog where we talk about relationships in the community and how to navigate love, and the Gentlemen’s Ball is really about loving yourself, and that’s a direct link to what we promote,” Gee says.

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MELLOW!

31 Monroe Dr. • Atlanta, GA • 404-874-2291 • mellowmushroom.com/midtown

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Eating my words BY CLIFF BOSTOCK

Gay cuisine

Check out these dining spots for all stereotypes

gluten-free brownie into four portions. But they can just as easily raid McDonald’s. Alas, they often say they want to get bigger.

JOCKS Can food be gay? Hell yes. I remember as a kid ordering flaming desserts whenever my parents took me out for dinner. My faves— Baked Alaska and Cherries Jubilee—have all but disappeared from restaurant menus. But I loved the drama of the server wheeling a cart tableside, dousing the desserts with liquor, and setting them ablaze. How gay.

The fantasy of our time is that LGBT people have assimilated enough to say with a straight face that we differ from heterosexuals only in the gender of the orifices we penetrate. Perhaps, but it’s hard not to notice that we stereotype ourselves by body types and sexual appetites. I seriously doubt, for example, that the average twink would claim the same diet as the average bear.

Let’s look at a few types and consider their tastes.

MUSCLE BEARS

Bears are bears because they are hairy and typically oversized. There are subcategories. Probably the most populous are muscle bears. These are the guys who eat with the specific intention of “bulking up.”

(They aren’t chubs because they don’t eat mindlessly or suffer a metabolic problem.) Since size always trumps proportion, you often see giant pecs atop a giant gut. They love high-protein, high-calorie meals. They, along with the general bear population, including svelter otters, populate Roxx (1824 Cheshire Bridge Road, 404892-4541). Just like bears in the wild, they love to rummage through garbage such as chili-cheese fries. Adventurous bears find those and the best and biggest burgers in town, including the “ghetto burger,” at Ann’s Snack Bar (1615 Memorial Drive, 404-687-9207; always call ahead).

TWINKS

This is the skinny, hairless group that most fits Simon Doonan’s book on the gay diet, “Gay Men Don’t Get Fat.” That’s absurd, of course, but twinks do typically eat light, even though their youth and frequently accelerated metabolism allow them to binge on Nutella spread over celery sticks. A typical meal out might be at MetroFresh (931 Monroe Drive, 404-724-0151, metrofreshatl. com). There, they basically eat finger sandwiches and clear soups, and split a single

This is one of the more mysterious selfidentifiers on social media sites like Scruff and Manhunt. You’d think the name means the same as “athletes,” but that’s often not so, unless you view hiking, watching college football, and attending pool parties as sports. Basically, this is someone with a lean, muscled body, frequently shaved to show off definition, especially the abs they torture twice a day. Jocks, who probably have the most coveted body type, tend to scour menus for healthier options and usually reserve one day a week as a “cheat day.”

An ideal place where you can eat healthy or binge with jocks and many other gay people is Radial Café (1530 DeKalb Ave., 404-6596594, radial.us).

DADDIES

For reasons the media ruminate on constantly, daddies are hot, hot, hot right now.

A daddy needs to be over 40, bald or silverhaired, in good shape, “down to earth” and “drama-free.” (The latter two criteria are mentioned so often on the hook-up sites that you know perfectly well the writer is a mess.) For daddies, it’s a big compliment to be desired by young guys, even though the desire is often in proportion to wallet thickness. Daddies dine everywhere. The older they are, the shittier their taste is, because they came of age before the culture’s tastes shifted to the more exotic. The younger they are, the more adventurous they are. If I wanted to take a young millennial to dinner in Midtown right now, I’d choose the new, terrific Ah-Ma’s Taiwanese Kitchen (931 Monroe Drive, 404-549-9848) in Midtown Promenade. You’d be demonstrating that your palate is old but not dead, since small plates of Asian street food are the hottest foodie movement right now.

GAY BROS

Mainly, these are young dudes who are obsessed with being “straight-acting.” It often seems to me their obsession is rooted in social awkwardness or not being very attractive, which naturally makes gay life more difficult. If you visit their profiles on Reddit (reddit.com/r/gaybros), you’ll repeatedly see that grilling is masc. Never mind that the vast majority of fine-dining chefs are heterosexual males. Real men grill weenies. Or steaks. There is any number of steakhouses in the city. I still most like Kevin Rathbun

Clockwise from above left: The 56-ounce porterhouse for four (or maybe one?) at Kevin Rathbun Steak is a likely choice from the menu for Gay Bros; Metro Fresh’s salad and soup options are popular with Twinks; and for the Jocks, a healthy helping of something green is always on the table at Radial Café. (Photos via Facebook)

Steak (154 Krog St., 404-524-5600, kevinrathbunsteak.com). If you’re a bro but are forced to hang out with men not masc enough to eat red meat, there’s plenty of fish and shellfish on the menu too.

LEATHERMEN

I’ve been kind of surprised by the resurgence of interest in kinky sex among younger guys. This was rampant in the 1970s and early 1980s, but it faded and went underground when a bizarre rumor began that unconventional sex and poppers caused AIDS. No, I’m not kidding. I do think it may also be true that when people say “leather” now, they are referring more to fashion than to

sex per se. Whatever; there’s really no congenial public place to wear leather chaps to dinner. You could, however, concoct a scene.

You could be a dom foodie who takes a sub junk-food addict to a bizarre restaurant on Buford Highway, say, Beijing Kabobs (5090 Buford Hwy., 770-566-8388, beijingkabobs.com).

There you can force him, through the sheer power of your persona, to eat sliced pig ears, kidney, lamb testicles, and if he’s a good boy, the ox penis.

Cliff Bostock, PhD, is a longtime food critic and former therapist who now specializes in life coaching.

CliffBostock.com.

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Event spotlight

BEST BETS BEST BETS

12.05.14- 12.19.14

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bout Tell us aBT event your LGays to submit your

ow There are tw inclusion in our online r fo t n event ve e T LGB ubmit your S . rs a d n le ail and print ca eGAVoice.com or e-m h .t w . w info to w AVoice.com ditor@theG details to e

SATURDAY, DEC. 6 DJ and producer extraordinaire Tony Moran celebrates his 50th birthday by working the crowd at Jungle, with the dance floor opening at 10:30 p.m., www.jungleatl.com (Photo via Facebook)

FRIDAY, DEC. 5 AND SATURDAY, DEC. 6 TUESDAY, DEC. 9 Anye Elite performs at 7 p.m. at Blake’s on the Park, www.facebook.com/AnyeElite (Photo via Facebook)

The Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus presents its 34th annual holiday show, “Tied Up With Strings” at The Cathedral of St. Philip on Friday and Saturday. Shows are at 8 p.m. on Friday and at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Saturday, www.voicesofnote.org/agmc (Photo via Facebook)

SOMETHING GAY EVERY DAY!

Bookmark www.thegavoice.com to get your daily dose of local LGBT events.

FRIDAY, DEC. 5

THURSDAY, DEC. 11 Whether you’ve been naught or nice, you’re invited to “Unholy Night,” a party featuring Milk from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and Legendary Children Atlanta, The Masquerade, 9:30 p.m.

– 2:30 a.m., www.masqueradeatlanta.com (Publicity photo)

The likes of Ruby Redd, Angelica D’Paige, DJ Stitch, La Boom Boom, Norwood, and Sean Van Meter host a Holiday Party/Art Review from 7 – 10 p.m. at Lost-n-Found Thrift and Consignment, 2585 Chantilly Drive NE, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.lnfy.org Everyone is Gay co-founders Dannielle OwensReid and Kristin Russo come to Charis Books tonight to promote their new book, “This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids.” Canadian author Vivek Shraya will join the authors in Atlanta.

Shraya will read from his book, “God Loves Hair.” This is a Charis Circle Strong Families,

Whole Children event. The suggested donation is $5. 7:30 – 9 p.m., www.charisbookdandmore.com

the event — $5 for one vote or $20 for five votes — with all proceeds benefiting Lost-n-Found Youth.

The Pop Star Grand Finale is tonight, hosted

by Princess Charles, and features a $1,000 grand package/prize. 11 p.m., 10th and Piedmont, www.communitashospitality.com/10th-and-piedmont/

The Lesbian 50+ Potluck combines good company and good eats, 6 – 8 p.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 6

Worthmore Jewelers hosts a holiday gingerbread-house competition to raise money for Lost-n-Found Youth. Completed houses should be submitted back to the stores by Dec. 4 for display and judging. Attendees will then be able to purchase “votes” for their favorite gingerbread-house during

Out musician Lucas Mire returns to Eddie’s Attic for his fourth CD, “Heyday,” with an electro-pop sound, 7 p.m., www.eddiesattic.com The Women’s Outdoor Network hosts its annual Holiday Party at Henry’s Midtown, 7 p.m., free for members, $10 for non-members, www.WONatlanta.com

BEST BETS

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“So You Think You Can Dance” brings its high-flying moves to the Cobb Energy Centre, with Season 11’s top 10 finalists, 8 p.m., www.cobbenergycentre.org After Party with DJ Yvonne Monet, 9 p.m., Watershed, tinyurl.com/lqc5rbw Glitter Bomb is 75 minutes of high energy illusion, hosted by Genre, 11 p.m., Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

SUNDAY, DEC. 7

DJ Micky Friedmann spins late night/early morning at 3 a.m. at Xion Atlanta, www.cariocaproductions.com It’s closing day for Actor’s Express’ musical “Murder Ballad,” with a 2 p.m. curtain, www.actorsexpress.com Free pancakes and jokes are on the menu at Flat Jokes: An Early Evening of Hot Cakes and Hot Jokes, hosted by Ian Aber, with guest John-Michael Bond and other comics, 5:30 p.m., The Hanger, 151 Sampson St., Atlanta, GA 30312 The third annual Gentlemen’s Ball is hosted by Karamo Brown and includes performances by Rahsaan Patterson and Phylle, 7 p.m., Atlanta Marriott Marquis, www.thegentlemansfoundation.org The Snowball Event/Toy Party after party features DJ Rob Reum with proceeds going to For the Kid in All of Us, 9 p.m. – 12 a.m., Ten Atlanta, www.tenatlanta.com

MONDAY, DEC. 8

The new Monday Mingle is an opportunity to network with other LGBT professionals in the area, with drink specials, a buffet, raffle prizes and mixing and mingling, 5:30 – 8 p.m., Blake’s, www.blakesonthepark.com

TUESDAY, DEC. 9

Drag-eoke with Angelica D’Paige is tonight at 10:30, Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 10

Enjoy some Bang-O! Erotic Bingo, a fundraiser for the Sex Down South Conference, at Einstein’s, 7-10 p.m., www.brownpapertickets.com/event/943091 Celebrate G’s Midtown first birthday and 10th and Piedmont’s second birthday at G’s and a special half-price menu, 5 p.m., www.facebook.com/GsMidtown Atlanta-based singer/songwriter and spoken word artist Doria Roberts performs at Eddie’s Attic, 8 p.m., Eddie’s Attic, www.eddiesattic.com The 25th anniversary of the Alliance Theatre’s “A Christmas Carol” is up and running, with a new Scrooge in actor David DeVries, tonight at 8 and running through Dec. 24, www.alliancetheatre.org Warm up your vocal cords, as well as your vocal

SUNDAY, DEC. 7

The 12th annual Toy Party presented by For the Kid in All of Us is a holiday party and toy drive with a large silent auction. Twenty-one nonprofit organizations will benefit. Guests are asked to bring a toy of appropriate monetary value for admittance, 5 – 9 p.m., Americasmart 3, www.forthekid.org (File photo)

chords, and come out as Blake’s hosts a Christmas Carols and Show Tunes Singalong, 8 p.m., www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

Thursdays are Ladies Nights at Le BUZZ, with a dance party and more, www.thenewlebuzz.com

For the holidays, The Dragettes perform a Las Vegas style drag act every Wednesday night at Lips Atlanta, www.lipsatl.com

Edie Cheezburger, Jaye Lish and cast bring “The Other Show” drag event weekly to Jungle, 9 p.m., www.jungleatl.com

THURSDAY, DEC. 11 AND SATURDAY, DEC. 13

The beloved “Christmas with the ASO” returns.

For more than four decades, these classic concerts have featured the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Chorus, Morehouse College Glee Club and Gwinnett Young Singers, conducted by the ASO’s Norman Mackenzie. This year, special guest soloist tenor Russell Thomas will join the cast. Capture the spirit of the holidays with the Orchestra’s iconic story of Christmas, created by the legendary Robert Shaw; Thursday show at 8 p.m. and Saturday shows at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m., www.atlantasymphony.org

THURSDAY, DEC. 11

Lambda Legal’s annual holiday party is tonight at the Ritz-Carlton Buckhead, from 6 – 8 p.m., www.lambdalegal.org MAAP (Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals, formerly AEN) hosts its Holiday Party from 6 – 8:30 p.m., with networking, raffle prizes, and nibbles, TEN Atlanta, www.tenatlanta.com The Atlanta Ballet opens its holiday staple “The Nutcracker” at 7:30 p.m., running through Dec. 28, Fox Theatre, www.foxtheatre.org

FRIDAY, DEC. 12

Traxx Girls night at My Sister’s Room offers drink specials, great music and lots of beautiful women, 10 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 13

She Speaks! Inc Presents: Write The Vision, Accomplish The Mission: Achieve Your Dreams in 2015 vision board brunch and workshop, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., Peachtree Professional Center, www.shespeaksvision.eventbrite.com Atlanta artist Alli Royce Soble’s new exhibit is from noon to 5 p.m. in the Oakhurst Neighborhood at 203 McKoy St., Decatur, GA 30030, www.alliroycesoble.com Come out today to learn about Lost-n-Found and the organization’s mission to end LGBTQ homelessness. 2 p.m., Lost-n-Found Youth, 2585 Chantilly Drive NE, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.lnfy.org “Let’s Make a Deal,” hosted by Ken, is a favorite at Friends on Ponce, 6 – 10 p.m., www.friendsonponce-atl.com The Southern Male Showcase Holiday Extravaganza includes three fashion shows, free Christ-

mas treats, and a concert featuring local artists, $15, 8 p.m., JLE Lofts in Buckhead, southernmaleshowca.wix.com/smsatlnata14 The East Point Possum’s Holiday Benefit to raise funds for former Armorette, Ms. Ginny Tonic, is from 7-9 p.m. at East Point Corner Tavern, www.gofundme.com/hbyf5c Horizon Theatre’s annual, sardonic “The Santaland Diaries” with Harold Leaver as Crumpet and based on David Sedaris’ “Holidays on Ice,” runs through Dec. 31 with an 8:30 performance tonight, www.horizontheatre.com Have you been Naughty or Nice this year? Check out the launch of a new monthly event at Henry’s Midtown with this Naughty or Nice party, 9 p.m., www.facebook.com/bellissima.atlanta

SUNDAY, DEC. 14

The Hotlanta Softball League hosts its second annual Jingle Ball holiday party with a $10 beer bust, a can food drive, special appearances by Santa and Mrs. Claus and Mother, the Holiday Elf, 4-7 p.m., The Hideway, www.facebook.com/ HotlantaSoftball ATTA (Atlanta Team Tennis Association) holds its annual holiday party, 6:30 – 9:30 p.m., Loca Luna, www.loca-luna.com

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DJ Vicki Powell’s Second Sunday Service, the final of the season, is at Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room and Ping Pong Emporium, with special guest Robert Ansley, 7-11:30 p.m., www.facebook.com/SisterLouisasChurch

www.theGAVoice.com

TUESDAY, DEC. 16

(both alcoholic and non); attendees are asked to bring a vegetarian dish to share. Families of all kinds are welcome. Bring a Chanukah/menorah to light. 6:30 - 8:30 p.m., www.rushcenteratl.com

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 17

Go hog wild at the PIG Dance Blackout Party at the Heretic with DJ Stan Jackson, 10 p.m. – 3 a.m., www.hereticatlanta.com

Fox Theatre, www.foxtheatre.org

$2 well drinks are on tap all day and night at Sunday Funday at Bulldogs, 893 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309

Be prepared to wow a crowd at Open Mic Night at Blake’s, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

Atlanta’s Angelica D’Paige and friends — including Brent Star and Destiny Brooks — purr up fun at Sex Kitten Sundays, with $5 burgers and Smirnoff cocktails, 8 p.m. at 10th and Piedmont, www.facebook.com/10thAndPiedmont

Ruby Redd gets Birdcage Bingo going at 7:30 p.m. every Wednesday at The Hideaway, www.atlantahideaway.com

MONDAY, DEC. 15

SOJOURN is hosting a casual Chanukah Party and potluck dinner at the Rush Center Annex.

SOJOURN will provide the latkes and the drinks

Country songs galore will fill a Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant Christmas, performed with the Georgia Symphony Orchestra, at 7:30 p.m. at the

THURSDAY, DEC. 18

SAGE Atlanta hosts its social hour at 10 a.m., followed by a speaker and general meeting at 11 a.m., Phillip Rush Center, www.rushcenteratl.com The Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce hosts its Business Builder Luncheon today at noon at Henry’s. $20 includes the meal, gratuity and networking. www.henrysatl.com

shop terrific thursdays

Serenbe Playhouse’s world premiere “The Snow Queen,” directed by out Brian Clowdus, is running through Dec. 21 and has an 8 o’clock performance tonight, www.serenbeplayhouse.com

this holiday season

Brent Star hosts Game Night at G’s Midtown from 9 -11 p.m., www.facebook.com/GsMidtown Decadence: A Night of Drinking and Debauchery is every Thursday starting at 10 p.m., hosted

by Adam Bland and Ashley Mitchell with beats

by DJ Daryl Cox. A wet underwear contest begins at 11 p.m., with a cash prize and dancers galore, TEN Atlanta, www.tenatlanta.com

The Iberian Pig

Phoenix of RuPaul’s Drag Race brings her sass to her Dancefloor Divas show, 11:30 p.m., Burkhart’s, www.burkharts.com

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SATURDAY, DEC. 20

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Atlanta Freedom Bands presents Holiday Tales and Traditions, celebrating the wonderful stories and music of the season. The special guest will be Chris Chandler, afternoon news anchor for WSB Radio. 8 p.m., North Decatur Presbyterian Church, 611 Medlock Road, Decatur, GA 30033

Wild Oats & Billy Goats

SUNDAY, DEC. 21

PFLAG Atlanta holds its monthly support group meeting, 2:30 – 4 p.m., St. Mark United Methodist Church, www.stmarkumc.org

THURSDAY, DEC. 25

The acclaimed “The Imitation Game,” starring Benedict Cumberbatch as gay code breaker Alan Turing, opens in the ATL today, TBD theaters

decatur-ga-voice-dec5-2014.indd 1

Gay director Rob Marshall directs a film adaptation of gay composer Stephen Sondheim’s musical “Into the Woods,” starring Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick and Emily Blunt, opening today in metro area theaters.

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Lindsey Hinkle brings her folk/acoustic sounds to My Sister’s Room, 9 p.m., www.mysistersroom.com

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COLUMNISTS

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OUTSIDE THE BOX Soul soothers Vinyl records round out music memories My mother tells me I was a high-strung, colicky baby who jumped off the table when the doctor clapped his hands during my first checkup. I was “overstimulated,” he told her, warning: “You’re going to have your hands full with this one.” Little did he know he was right on the money; like a medical medium, he influenced my mother’s opinion of me from day one.

My mom ended up having many of terms of endearment for my personality thanks to the doctor’s admonition. She often said if I had been the first born, I would have been the last, but I think I was just a creative child who had to express himself. Unfortunately for her, screaming constantly was my medium of choice.

Kaelin family lore says my sister’s Partridge Family records were the only things that could make me “come on get happy,” and thanks to David Cassidy, I was swept away into baby bliss. Happy to have found a solution, my mom bought me a record player that provided hours of peace as I dreamed and watched the colorful labels spinning around.

By the age of five I was getting rewarded with 45 rpm singles of my choice for being a “good boy.” Nothing made me behave quicker than the promise of receiving Barry Manilow’s “I Write The Songs” or Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff,” and I played them over and over again ad nauseam.

I joke with my Mom that she is responsible for my stereotypically gay musical genes, since she is the one who started it, and eventually took it to another level by buying me the “couldn’t get any gayer” album, “Xanadu.” I don’t think she finds it as humorous as I do, but she essentially set the mirror ball in motion. After all, before there was Madonna, there was Olivia Newton-John.

My older sisters eventually saved me from falling victim to disco when I was eight by introducing me to music like David Bowie, Heart and The Beatles. Memorizing lyrics like “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “Magic Man” blew my mind, took me to a fantasy world and resulted in a music addiction that would last a lifetime.

I have lived through every music media format, from vinyl, to the

Photo by Lisa Jordan Bill Kaelin is the owner of Bill Kaelin Marketing Events and Consulting Agency in Atlanta. www.BillKaelin.com

absolute absurdity of eight-track tapes, to cassette tapes (I was an obsessed teenage cassette collector). I was a college boy CD coveter, and I finally embraced the digital era with iTunes. I have spent a countless amount of money on music, and often defend myself by saying “there are worse things I could be addicted to.”

I recently discovered I could save tons of money with Spotify’s $9.99 “all you can eat” music buffet, but unfortunately that ended when someone handed me a box of old jukebox records that were going to be thrown away. I was immediately transported back to my childhood when I touched the black-as-night, dusty, magic music makers. It was like opening Pandora’s Box, and I dove in headfirst by buying my first Crosley record player in almost 43 years.

Vinyl has made a comeback in recent years, and spending a few hours at Atlanta’s legendary Wax’n’Facts in Little 5 Points is like stepping back in time. Flipping through thousands of cheap, high-quality used records is like visiting old friends from the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s.

Everything is bigger with vinyl: The sound, the artwork and the weight as well as the ritualistic listening experience. Listening to an album from start to finish is rarely done today, but it is such a pleasure to take the time to listen to something like Fleetwood Mac from beginning to end while drinking a glass of wine.

Music is my life. I remember loving music earlier than I remember tasting food. My entire collection is like a diary; songs transport me back to a specific time and place. I am no longer that kid with manic nervous energy, but my passion for music has come full circle back to the place it began, with a record player and tons of vinyl making me as happy as a baby.

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COLUMNISTS

www.theGAVoice.com

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID The big move Grandma’s house now in Atlanta It took my son two months to do what I’ve attempted to do myself for more than a decade. My mother, Millie Pete, is now an Atlanta resident.

When Mr. Carter was born in October, Millie Pete decided she wanted to permanently be near her grandson by Christmas. She beat that deadline by a month, moving into a local retirement community over Thanksgiving weekend.

Since he’s her only grandchild, and she turned 85 this year, you can understand the haste.

When you see the phrase “retirement community,” the initial reaction is usually one of sympathy. We don’t want to think about getting old, and the idea of placing a loved one in one of “those places” seems like a last resort. I remember when my grandmother was older and needed constant medical care in Kentucky. Millie Pete had to make that tough decision and moved Miss Martha into a “Shady Acres” environment.

My aunts had tried to take care of her in their home, but it was too much for them to handle while working full time jobs.

In the 1970s, being in a nursing home meant having a hospital bed as a place to lay your head while you suffered through your roommate’s cries at night. Miss Martha had several roommates, including the wandering woman who had to be handcuffed to her bed and the woman who climbed into my grandmother’s bed every night for comfort.

My grandmother once told my mom that despite being in her 90s, she never felt old until she moved into that place.

That was then. Now, Shady Acres has turned into “Hotel Silver Hair,” and you wish you were old enough to move in.

It was Mom’s idea to find a retirement community to move into. Keenly aware of her age, Millie Pete told me she’d rather go ahead and “nest” in a facility while she’s physically and mentally active so that when she becomes debilitated she will already

Melissa Carter is one of the Morning Show hosts on B98.5. In addition, she is a writer for the Huffington Post. She is recognized as one of the first out radio personalities in Atlanta and one of the few in the country.

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have friends and know the staff well. I think she learned that lesson by watching my grandmother’s experience.

What’s changed? Everything. Facilities have figured out that not all elders are alike, and just because you are old doesn’t mean you’re simply waiting to die.

There are only two differences between my mother’s new apartment and yours. Her bathroom is equipped with several bars for stability and an emergency nurse call cord in case she falls. And in order to prevent accidental fires, there is no stove in the kitchen. Other than that, standing in her one-bedroom digs, you would have no idea you were in a facility.

If she doesn’t have a stove, how does she cook her food? Why bother, since she goes downstairs to a linen tabled restaurant for her meals three times a day. She also has her trash and laundry done for her and a concierge service responds at the click of the button she has on her at all times.

When I went to see her the morning after her move, she told me she had already been to breakfast, then went to work out before coming back to meet with me. The place has happy hours and movies, Tai Chi and shopping trips. They escort her to doctors’ appointments and take her to see musicals. Hospital gowns and housecoats have been replaced with hair salons and massage appointments.

They even gave her a bottle of wine and chocolates as a welcome gift when she moved in.

I am proud of her ability to embrace change at this age, and am grateful for her effort to be closer to Mr. Carter. Whether Mom lives two more years or ten, I am excited to know the “Third Phase” of her life (as she calls it) doesn’t have to be depressing. And my son will get to see pictures and hear stories of him hanging out with Grandma Millie Pete at her cool new place.

COLUMNISTS

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12.05.14

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SOMETIMES'Y' No way in Sam Hill NFL throws LGBT progress for a loss

Ryan Lee is an Atlanta writer.

While our community achieved many important victories in 2014, our progress may have been blindsided by football. Everything seemed aligned almost a year ago when Michael Sam attempted to become an openly gay player in the NFL, and the first active gay athlete in any of the four major American sports.

Media and pop culture passed a test run when former NBA center Jason Collins announced he was gay, establishing that bigoted opposition to an LGBT athlete was socially unfashionable and could be hazardous to one’s career or reputation. ESPN and other outlets covered Sam’s announcement with the reverence of a historic milestone, while NFL coaches, players and executives – in almost militaristic unison – celebrated Sam, and assured everyone that he would be treated like any other player.

Most importantly, the candidate himself was not some benchwarmer or tortured soul, but instead the defensive player of the year in the premiere conference in college football. He was open about his sexual orientation with teammates during his senior year, without violating the sanctity of the locker room or otherwise disrupting team morale and cohesion.

There seemed no way that the bridge to professional sports would remain uncrossed by an openly gay athlete.

Sam’s subpar performance at the meatmarket inspection known as the NFL Scouting Combine left room to rationalize his being drafted 249th out of 256 selections, behind 21 fellow defensive ends, three punters and placekickers, and dozens of players from “powerhouse” football traditions like the Ivy League, the Northern Sun Intercollegiate Conference and the Quebec Student Sport Federation.

As a football fan, I thought it sounded reasonable that the St. Louis Rams described Sam’s release at the end of preseason as “a football decision” since the team was already loaded with defensive

linemen. I even thought it was advantageous for Sam to be cut and placed into free agency. Had the Rams kept him, many would have accused the team of succumbing to political correctness, while discrediting Sam’s achievements as the result of some new-age affirmative action.

I was sure that Sam’s preseason flash, when he led his team in sacks and was second in tackles, would land the standout rookie on a team that needed him, with a fan base that would be grateful for him, where his merit would be unquestioned.

However, no team showed interest except the Dallas Cowboys, which offered him a spot on its practice squad for the first third of the NFL season.

Despite competing for a playoff berth and being among the bottom five teams in sacks, the Cowboys released Sam after seven weeks. Other playoff hopefuls in desperate need of a pass rusher include the San Diego Chargers, Cincinnati Bengals and Atlanta Falcons — all of whom have pretended that Sam, his exceptional college career and his auspicious preseason do not exist.

In a recent interview with GQ magazine, Sam expressed regrets about coming out prior to the NFL draft, saying, “If I had it my way, I never would have done it the way I did.”

Sam’s regret—and the accuracy of his assessment—desecrates LGBT dogma: that the closet should not be mistaken as refuge.

Given his collegiate pedigree and preseason effectiveness, and the desperation of NFL teams for someone with his skills, there is no question that Michael Sam would be on an NFL roster today were he heterosexual, or closeted. It’s devastating to concede that Sam’s best interests were compromised by choosing honesty over deceit.

The many closeted players in the NFL are undoubtedly sighing and thinking, “I told you so,” while younger LGBT athletes must now decide whether being a role model or being employed is most important to them.

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