Empty Closet, November 2012 by Out Alliance

The Empty Closet

Follow us on Facebook! And did you know? The Empty Closet is now on Twitter! Follow us at http://www.twitter.com/ EmptyClosetNews

local, state and national news , newsmaker interviews , opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars , and health resource listings

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley NOVEMber 2012

Skalny Foundation gives grant to Gay Alliance

Partnerships The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision. Gold:

Silver:

Ballroom legends, icons, and conference participants at the BHAP (Ballroom House And Pageant) conference in Dallas.

WNY’s House of Blahnik focuses on health, social justice issues

Bronze:

Champion:

By Susan Jordan The House of Blahnik, WNY’s public health and social justice-focused Ballroom community group, recently launched a national transgender health initiative. The initiative, called Project MEE, is spearheaded by Chasity Moore, Overall Mother of the House of Blahnik, and is based in Philadelphia. The project will provide programming for transgender persons in various cities/jurisdictions around the country. Project MEE is designed to empower trans people around their health. Stephaun Blahnik (Wallace), a.k.a. Legendary Father Stephaun Blahnik, and Deputy Director of The MOCHA Center, told The Empty Closet, “We are also part of the Be The Generation initiative. The House of Blahnik is a partner and involved in providing education around biomedical HIV research. HIV vaccine trials (like those at UR’s Victory Alliance) are a critical area in which we are seeking to increase scientific literacy among the community. Another area of biomedical research is the microbicides trials. Current research is trying to come up with a gel that can be applied during sexual activity that reduces transmission or acquisition of HIV. Our goal is to inform communities that this and other research is

Stephaun Blahnik at the MOCHA Center. Photo: Susan Jordan

going on, and educate them on how to get involved or get more information.” The ballroom community is growing in popularity with young African Americans and Latinos. Stephaun Blahnik said, “The ball community assists people in social and creative expressive outlets, and provides opportunities for positive esteem and identity development. It provides an environment in which a person interested in virtually any form of creativity, such as education, art, fashion, choreography, sound and music production, fundraising, etc., has an opportunity to get involved. House of Blahnik is the premier ballroom house associated with the fields of public health and social justice, and encompasses virtually all areas in which ballroom and mainstream lifestyles intersect.” The House of Blahnik was (Blahnik continues pg 3)

Friend: “AFTER”: The New Improved version of the Bachelor Forum has been completed. The interior is also being remodeled, with the addition of dark brown tiles and much more. Peter Mohr told The Empty Closet, “I think it’s a vast improvement. A couple of people asked if we had knocked the old building down! We’re finding now that Happy Hour is a little busier and a younger crowd is coming, which we’re happy for.” A party celebrating the reconstruction will be held this month. Photo: Susan Jordan

The Gay Alliance will receive a $15,000 grant as a 2012 grant recipient from the Skalny Foundation, before the end of November. Board co-president Emily Jones said, “This is very good news for our upcoming development plan. Thank you to the Skalny Foundation, and to the Gay Alliance for generating the confidence in our ability to deliver on anti-bullying outreach and other anti-bullying and youth suicide prevention. Congratulations to our talented staff!” Kelly Clark, Gay Alliance Intergenerational Programs Director, said, “LGBT youth live in a homo and trans phobic world where they face discrim-

ination, school-based bullying and family rejection. They are coming out at younger ages before they have the maturity level and coping strategies to handle the pressures of being out. Gay Alliance youth programming is designed to support them in building resilience, while keeping youth on track to reach important adolescent milestones. We thank the Skalny Foundation for recognizing the importance of the work we are doing and appreciate their vote of confidence.” Ralph Carter of Out & Equal commented, “This is very exciting news and a strong validation of the established capabilities of our staff and leaders.” ■

Palmyra church hosts Trans Day of Remembrance

to the records of TransgenderDOR.org, the known fatalities are 50 percent greater than last year. A solid third have occurred in the United States. And this does not include those of us buried under the wrong name and gender -- hidden away to save the family ‘embarrassment.’ Nor does the list include those who committed suicide because of verbal, emotional or financial abuse -- truly hate crimes in themselves. “And the body count grows.” (Palmyra continues pg 3)

Zion Episcopal Church in Palmyra will host a Trans* Day of Remembrance Memorial Service at 3 p.m. on Nov. 18. This is the second year that Zion Episcopal has hosted this event. There will be a reception afterwards in the Gathering Room. The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus will sing. A representative from the Empire State Pride Agenda will speak about GENDA, the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act. A podium will be present for attendees to share their own thoughts. Guests are asked to RSVP at shaunamarieotoole@yahoo.com or find the event on Facebook. According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, Trans* women account for less than eight percent of the LGBTQ population, yet suffer 44 percent of the hate crime deaths. This year is proving to be more violent than last. (www. transgenderdor.com) Trans activist Shauna O’Toole said, “It does not matter if you have a different faith tradition or no faith tradition at all, come and be a part of this service. I promise that the walls will not fall down upon you. Nor will anyone try to force you to become Episcopalian or join any faith system. “The important thing is that we remember our lost brothers and sisters. Then, from this, renew our fight for Equality. “We, the Trans community and our allies, are making strides in securing civil rights and protections. This year, EEOC said that we are protected under the 1964 Civil Rights Act – the first Federal protection. Truly, a cause for celebration! Not all of us lived to see this victory, nor the promise of the years to come. It is important to remember and move forward -- to renew our struggle for the same civil rights all other Americans enjoy. “As I write this, according

ImageOut parties... Page 11 Michael Gamilla at Tilt.

Contents

Newsfronts................................... 4 Interview: Rob Strauss................. 7 Making the Scene......................10 Opinion: Voting............................15 Shoulders to Stand On ............21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: ImageOut wrap, reviews, interviews .......................27 Gay Alliance News.....................30 Rainbow SAGE Page.................31 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34

Proud Publisher of New York State’s Oldest Lgbt Publication

Photo: Khoury Humphrey

number 462

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

Perspectives

From the Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

Invisibility Who is invisible in our society? The Invisible Man (and Woman and Genderqueer) used to be all proponents of “the love that dare not speak its name.” Now that queer love is the love that won’t shut up, and is visible all over the media, is the visibility problem gone? Not for everyone. There are many invisible groups in our society, especially poor and working class people, stereotyped by conservatives and Tea Partiers as lazy, no matter how hard they work, or struggle to find jobs or education. “Poverty as character defect” conveniently excuses conservatives from both responsibility and compassion. Who really has the character defect? Minorities are visible, in the sense that they are constantly being defamed. But what is made visible about them (by their enemies) is often a collection of lies. Gays know how that works. A whole industry has sprung up on the Right, of professional bigots spewing out homophobic falsehoods for pay. Who is invisible within the LGBT community? Until recently, it was trans people. In the past decade, transgender and gender variant people have worked to become much more visible, if not always understood. But bisexuals are still largely invisible to both gays and heterosexuals.

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson

In many places, organized bi groups, writers and activists are changing that. But in Rochester, for whatever reason, there are still few visible faces of the bi community. The Empty Closet would love to publish a regular column by local bisexuals, which could dispel gay community stereotypes like “It’s fence sitting,” or “Bisexuality doesn’t exist.” Around the country, despite the efforts of bi activists, bisexuality is certainly invisible to most heterosexuals. That is obvious whenever an anti-gay preacher or politician is caught having gay sex and loudly claims, “I’m really straight because I still have sex with my wife.” Hello? If you think about Kinsey’s theory of a continuum of sexual identities, with exclusively gay on one end and exclusively heterosexual on the other, bisexuals would fall in the middle – and where do most hits come on any continuum? Right in the middle. Science may someday prove that most humans are born bi, and that is normal for our species. Heterosexuals will just have to get over not being the majority anymore. However, there is one LGBT group which is even more invisible than bisexuals. This group has to deal not only with homophobia, but with racism and sexism too: Black Lesbians, and bi and trans women. There was a Black Lesbian Visibility unit in the Pride Parade last July. Did you notice? If you’re African American, you probably did. If not… maybe not. Middleclass white people are used to setting the agenda, defining the terms and holding center stage. Ignoring the existence and issues of people of color and working people amounts to passive-aggressive racism and classism. Middleclass whites, queer and straight, need to take responsibility – not to nourish guilt – but to remove the lenses that allow them to see only one color, gender, orientation or class. ■

Many things

Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@ gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gay-related news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney.

Name Address City/State/Zip

GARD

Phone

E-mail

r ster p

The Empty Closet • Youth Program • Rochester Pride Education Program & Speakers Bureau Library and Archives Gay Alliance Resource Directory Shoulders to Stand On • Rainbow SAGE • SafeZone The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.GayAlliance.org

ROC The Day 12.12.12 Choose. Give. Matter. How much good can be done in a day? Find out on 12/12/12, as Rochester comes together to make a positive impact in people’s lives. ROC The Day and you’ll have a chance to win an additional $500 for the charity of your choice. (800) 242-0238

Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas.

Membership levels: ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100-999 Champion ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Enclosed is my check in the amount of _________ (check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of: __________ To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # _____________________________ Exp. Date: _______ ❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged. ❏ Please provide me Rainbow SAGE Program (age 50+) News Benefits include: a subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership in the Gay Alliance. 11/12

for Many people

Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www. gayalliance.org.

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

page one (Blahnik from page 1) founded by Damon L. Humes (Jay Blahnik), former Executive Director of MOCHA, in May of 2000. Around 2004, the famed international shoe designer Manolo Blahnik endorsed the House of Blahnik’s use of his name, in a four-page spread in Elle magazine. Stephaun said, “His comment was that he’s most proud of the House of Blahnik because our goals, mission and creativity are well represented. Ultimately, we as the House of Blahnik see ourselves as very service and performance oriented.” Last month the 4th Annual WNY Awards Ball was held in Buffalo, where Stephaun is based (he visits the Rochester MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, twice weekly). The 2012 winners of the annual House of Blahnik Scholarship Program for the first time also included House of Blahnik members. Winners’ names will be released soon by Stephaun who oversees the scholarship program. Also in October, Stephaun and other House of Blahnik leaders attended the Ballroom House And Pageant (BHAP) Conference in Dallas, organized by Abounding Prosperity, a nonprofit HIV/AIDS service organization in Dallas. Stephaun said, “The conference was an amazing opportunity to mobilize ballroom and pageant communities and leadership around health equity and health disparities impacting our communities. This initiative was tied to a national initiative aimed at developing an advocacy agenda for the house/ball community. I am very proud to be an investigator on this national research initiative that is spearheaded by the Legacy Project in Seattle, that Damon L. Humes is director of now.” The Dallas conference included a ball called The Lipstick Ball, as well as a pageant and the conference’s workshops, etc. Stephaun said that the House of Blahnik has a board of directors that includes experts in HIV research, prevention, education, human resources, public policy and social justice. He said, “We have PhD.s on our board, a faculty member from Indiana University, and other experts. I currently serve as vice president of the board and Kevin E. Bynes of Oakland, Calif. is president. Damon, founder and executive director of the House of Blahnik, is also preparing to release his third album. It has cameos from mainstream R&B and hip hop artists.” More information is available at www.houseofblahnik.org. ■

(Palmyra from page 1) Zion Episcopal is at the corner of Rt. 31 and Rt. 21 in the village of Palmyra itself. Parking is on the street. The Rochester Trans Group (RTG) will hold a Trans Day of Recognition march on Nov. 24, on Monroe Ave. at Goodman St. between 3 and 4 p.m. See article on page 25. Trans* = Transsexual, Transgender, Gender Queer, Gender Fluid and Gender Variant in any fashion. ■

NewsFronts Local and State

Freedom Socialist presidential candidate Stephen Durham supporting the AFT strike in Chicago.

Gay rebel for justice runs as write-in for president If a man is the sum of his personal history, then Stephen Durham’s life experiences are what brought him to run for president as the Freedom Socialist Party (FSP) candidate in 2012. “I became a socialist because I saw injustice,’’ says Durham, 65, who grew up during the Civil Rights movement. “When I was nine-years old I saw discrimination in the South and knew it was wrong.’’ Durham came out shortly after the Stonewall gay rights rebellion in 1969 and took part in the first national lesbian and gay conference the same year. Because of his experience as a young gay man who was active in the struggle at U.C. Berkeley against the Vietnam War and for the inclusion of third world studies in the university curriculum, he was able to identify bigotry in its many forms and decided to work against it. Now Durham is the FSP candidate for president, with Christina López, 44, Chicana organizer and president of Radical Women’s Seattle branch, as his running mate. Originally, the FSP was hoping for electoral unity – one candidate that various left and socialist parties could all support. But when other parties didn’t respond to the call to unite, FSP, a Trotskyist, socialist, feminist organization, decided to mount its own presidential campaign. “We want to provide socialist solutions for the electorate,” Durham explains, “and protest the exclusion of alternative parties. We are write-in candidates because the electoral process is rigged by the two dominant political parties and by campaign laws that are different in every state even though it’s a national election.” The FSP decided to run a presidential candidate because of the country’s economic crisis. Durham says the concerns of the Occupy Movement resonate through his campaign because younger people, elders, women, people of color and queers are most effected by the economic

downturn. He points to ongoing military actions, unemployment, anti-immigrant attacks, and the so-called “war on terror” as key reasons he threw his hat into the ring. His campaign calls for a national public works program to end unemployment, passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and the nationalization of healthcare. He works to end discrimination in hospital visitation and family law, including the right to gay marriage. He pushes for quality education with school policies that protect the lives and rights of LGBTQ youth. The Durham/López “Unmillionaire Campaign” is also about changing class relations. “The working class needs to take power; it needs a political party to look out for its own interests,” says Durham as he uses his message to build the movement in as many places as possible. For more information see VoteSocialism.com.

Valerie Spencer talks about trans health issues By Casey Sullivan and JoAnne Metzler “From the age of four I always knew I was different from others. This difference was the nucleus of all discrimination and violence I faced in my life. Yet in the end, I won. I became powerful, joyous, and profound.” – Valerie Spencer, health educator. Valerie Spencer describes herself as “being a woman from birth but discovering that just a bit later.” With the love of her dynamic mother she was able to overcome the toughness of being different. On Sept. 27, approximately 40 members of several local health organizations were treated to a talk by Valerie Spencer (and dinner at Bamba Bistro) titled “A Clear Path Forward: Transgender Health Literacy.” Spencer offered an entertaining and educational lecture as she presented the importance of HIV prevention especially directed towards trans individuals. Spencer has worked in social services for nearly 20 years with universities, community organizations and health departments,

and provides conferences and lectures across the country. Spencer started with the question, “What are some of the challenges for your trans clients?” One of the answers she received was about the limitations of dealing with electronic systems that are only set up to check a box for female or male genders. She responded that even though a number of systems do have the ability to check a box for trans, this is old technology and new systems need to be encouraged that accept the full range of trans and gendervariant people. Spencer explained that being trans is not about choice, it is about the discovery of who you are. Another concern was how anxious trans patients/clients can be, often wanting to start hormones and continue their transition as quickly as possible, some without the necessary education. To answer those questions she talked about trans health literacy and what that means in the real world of dayto-day care and treatment of trans people. The first and most important thing she wants understood is that the perception of the patient/client has to be “team patient/client and doctor,” rather than “team doctor” with the patient/client feeling secondary. This is accomplished by providing health information at the level the patient understands, so they are able to make appropriate decisions as to what they need for their treatment and why. Health care professionals need to focus on what their clients “need to know” and “need to do” and always make sure they understand. She demonstrated with a volunteer from the audience a technique called the TeachBack Method. First you explain something, then continue to ask follow-up questions while assessing the person’s understanding; then if necessary clarify the misunderstanding and repeat until they understand and can repeat back what they need to know or do in their own words. Spencer also brought up the importance of keeping separate professional inquiry – questions relevant to providing care -- and personal curiosity – questions just because you want to know. She finished up by saying, “My intention is to help what you do and give you information and tools to do it well.”

Gay Alliance Plans Youth Program Reunion for Jan. 4 The Gay Alliance celebrates 40 years in 2013 -- it’s the perfect excuse for a reunion, especially a reunion of the people who have been part of the Youth Group.

3 The Youth Program Reunion will be Friday, Jan. 4, 2013, from 7-9 p.m. at the Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Kelly Clark, Intergenerational Program Manager, says, “Did you attend Gay Alliance Youth Group or other youth programming as a teen? You’re invited to our January Friends and Family Night for a Reunion Party! Come on down! Catch up with friends you haven’t seen in a while. Meet today’s teen participants and reminisce about the ‘good old days.’” Tickets are $10 and available on line at www.gayalliance.org.

David Koon seeks to return to Albany David Koon (D-135th Assembly District) is running to re-claim the seat he held in the NYS Assembly until the 2010 election. The district covers Perinton/Fairport, Penfield, Webster and East Rochester. “I am eagerly looking forward to continuing the work that was left unfinished when I left the state legislature,” Koon said. “I was a fierce advocate for human rights, and consistently supported legislation that favored issues of concern to the LGBT community.” While in office, David Koon voted yes on the Marriage Equality Act (A. 7732), Fair Pay Act (A. 3911), GENDA (A. 5716), a civil remedy for victims of hate crimes (A. 0529), and a bill that extended crime victims’ rights to domestic partners (A. 4089). He also supported measures that improve the quality of life by voting yes on the Affordable Health Care Act (A. 8514), Ethics and Campaign Reform (A. 9534), and legislation that protected individuals with disabilities (A. 9534). During his tenure, David Koon returned $10,000,000 of his constituents’ tax dollars to the communities he represents, funding towns, villages, schools, not-for-profit organizations, programs for youth and seniors, cultural projects, and maintenance of sidewalks, roads and bridges. “While in office, I fought for the fair distribution of the state’s revenues to western New York, and I will continue to be your (State/Local continues page 6)

Thank You Donors The Gay Alliance thanks all of its generous recent donors, including Pat Moran (in honor of Sue Cowell) and Peter Mumford (in honor of Clay Ballou and John Roberts).

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

NewsFronts national and international CNN host hangs up on AFA bigot Fischer The American Family Association is calling for parents to keep their children out of school during the Southern Poverty Law Center’s annual Mix It Up Day, which for 10 years has encouraged students to sit at lunch with kids outside of their usual social circles. According to the AFA, Mix It Up Day is a secret plan to “normalize homosexuality” and punish Christian students who continue to torment LGBT kids (which the Right sees as proper Christian behavior). In reality, Mix It Up Day doesn’t have anything specifically to do with gay kids at all. On Oct. 16 Bryan Fischer appeared via phone on CNN to continue the AFA’s bullshit about this event, but host Carol Costello hung up on him after he tried to defend his regular claim that gays founded the Nazi Party. -JoeMyGod.com

Memphis adds orientation, gender identity protections The Memphis, Tenn. City Council has voted 9-4 to add sexual orientation and gender identity to a list of city workplace protections, the Memphis Flyer reports: Councilman Reid Hedgepeth, a conservative who voted in favor of the ordinance last time, told the audience that harassment and robo-calls from the amendment’s opposition had only strengthened his resolve to vote in favor of the amendment again. “One e-mail said ‘I hope you and your family burn in hell together.’ How is that for Christianity?” Hedgepeth asked. Additionally, councilwoman Janis Fullilove proposed an amendment to the ordinance that added protections on the basis of “gender identity.” That amendment passed 9 to 4, as well. The “no” votes on the “gender identity” amendment and the main motion to amend the city’s nondiscrimination ordinance came from council people Wanda Halbert, Bill Boyd, Kemp Conrad, and Joe Brown. The council chambers were lively before the vote. Speaking for the opposition, a representative from the Family Action Council said the amendment’s passage would lead to protections for “grown men attracted to 12-year-old boys.” That elicited boos and gasps from the audience. Pastor Larry Hunter, who wore a Tae-

kwondo uniform, said he didn’t “want to walk nowhere and see two mens [sic] kissing or two mens [sic] hugging.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz29ZV0OFrB

Rightwing “poll watchers” to harass voters; GOP worker trashes registrations Republican and Tea Party strategists are promoting a “poll watching” program to place their operatives at polling stations in order to intimidate minority voters. Phyllis Schlafly hyped the plan Oct. 17 at the extremist rightwing site World Net Daily: “The wide use of absentee and mailin ballots has destroyed our traditional American secret ballot. This is a major loss of an important American right and an open door to election fraud. It’s important to know that it’s much easier to prevent vote fraud beforehand than it is to overturn an election suspected of being plagued with fraud. Can individual citizens do something to prevent vote fraud, or can we count on the government to protect us from the cheaters? There are things you can do right now, before the election. You can volunteer to be a poll watcher, sometimes called poll observers or challengers or checkers, and usually at least one watcher is allowed to be close enough to the election officials to be able to compare the voter’s signature with the verification record. State laws vary about the rights and duties of poll watchers and how many can be in a polling place. You can get some helpful advice and good instructions by contacting www.truethevote.org.” One commenter at the link above suggests using cell phone cameras to “unsettle” voters that appear to be the type to vote against Jesus (or the Right’s version of Jesus that is). -JoeMyGod.com Related: Virginia police have arrested a man working for the Republican Party after he was seen throwing completed voter registration forms in a dumpster behind a shopping center. Colin Small, a 31-year-old resident of Phoenixville, Pa., worked for Pinpoint, a company hired to register voters on behalf of the Republican Party of Virginia. Prosecutors charged him on Oct. 19 with four counts of destruction of voter registration applications, eight counts of failing to disclose voter registration applications

and one count of obstruction of justice. Rockingham County Sheriff Bryan Hutcheson’s office said there was no indication that the activity was widespread in their jurisdiction and said the conduct “appears to be limited in nature.” His office said there is a possibility that additional charges may be filed. JoeMyGod.com asks, “Wanna guess what the party affiliation of those newlyregistered voters might have been? Voter registration in Virginia closed on the day that Small was arrested.”

House GOP spends over $1 million on DOMA Remember when the House GOP authorized spending up to $1.5M to defend DOMA? They’ve just about hit that limit. As of this month, taxpayers have spent $1,447,996.73 defending a law that prevents the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriage, according to numbers released by House Democrats. The contract that House Republicans entered into with an outside law firm to defend the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) currently has a cap of $1.5 million. Rep. Jerrold Nadler reacts: “Speaker Boehner has wasted more than a year, and more than $1.5 million taxpayer dollars defending DOMA. So far, he has lost five cases in a row as every court has ruled that there is no legitimate justification for this law. Every day, DOMA harms thousands of American couples and their children. Instead of wasting taxpayer money defending this unjust law in court, Speaker Boehner should join us in our effort to repeal it.” -JoeMyGod.com

Masked thugs attack Moscow club; three hospitalized on Oct. 11 Masked thugs attacked on Oct. 11 at the 7Freedays club in Moscow, where approximately 50 people were celebrating “Coming Out Day.” 7Freedays calls itself the “first gl [gay and lesbian]-friendly bar in Russia.” Unidentified police officials told Life News that the attackers were dressed in dark clothes and medical masks and that many of them had shaved heads. A witness in the club at the time of the raid told the tabloid that the men threw acid on him. Other witnesses said the group struck club-goers repeatedly over the course of five to six minutes, turned over tables and threw bottles, then fled. Earlier that week, nationalist Orthodox organization the People’s Council called for the closure of all gay clubs in Moscow as part of an effort to prohibit the “promotion of homosexuality.” Three were hospitalized following the chaotic struggle, RIA Novosti reports: About 20 masked attackers burst into the 7freedays club, where people were celebrat-

ing “coming out day,” Andrei Obolensky, the event’s organizer, told RIA Novosti. “They pulled a gun on the bouncers as they entered the club. Then they shouted ‘You wanted a show?’” Obolensky told RIA Novosti. “People were bleeding; they had been hit in the head with bottles.” Two of the three people hospitalized for the injuries they sustained in the attack have now been released from hospital. One girl, who suffered a serious eye injury, is still being treated. St. Petersburg and several other Russian cities have recently passed laws banning “gay propaganda” and promotion of homosexuality. A similar ban is under consideration in Moscow. Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/2012/10/7freedays. html#ixzz295pD8mpR

Russian Supreme Court: gay rights demos are legal after all Russia’s Supreme Court has ruled that gay pride parades and LGBT rights demonstrations do not violate controversial “gay propaganda” laws. The court made the ruling in August, but it was not made public until October, Russian news agency RIA Novosti reports. The case involved an antigay law passed by the Arkhangelsk Region’s legislature last year, but it apparently will apply to similar laws passed by the city of St. Petersburg and others. Several cities have declined to allow pride parades or other pro-gay demonstrations. The laws prohibit “promotion of homosexuality” to minors, and the court upheld them but said they cover only the “direct promotion of homosexual relations,” not pride parades or public discussion of gay issues, RIA Novosti reports. “Informing minors about homosexual relations is also allowed as long as the information remains neutral in tone,” the news agency notes.

NOM strategist profits from promoting hate The Human Rights Campaign is condemning the extreme profits National Organization for Marriage (NOM) strategist Frank Schubert is making at the expense of LGBT Americans. Schubert is the man behind NOM’s misleading ads that advocate against LGBT equality. Public filings show that he has netted nearly $3 million this year for his work in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, North Carolina, and Washington State. The profits go to Schubert’s company, Mission Public Affairs. Schubert collected $958,594 for his anti-equality work in North Carolina earlier this year. In the four marriage ballot states, Schubert has collected $967,567.88 in Washington; $492,680 in Maryland; $303,307.69 in Minnesota; and $200,043.46 in Maine. While these funds are likely used to pay for advertis-

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet ing, it’s unclear what percentage is lining Schubert’s pockets. “Frank Schubert is making a lucrative living off of promoting discrimination against LGBT Americans,” said HRC Vice President of Communications Fred Sainz. “Let me be clear: the National Organization for Marriage is advancing an extremist agenda against LGBT people. Frank Schubert is making millions of dollars by intentionally misleading voters about NOM’s true mission. As he gets richer, hundreds of thousands of LGBT Americans face economic hardship, enormous obstacles in starting families, and an inability to marry the person they love – all because of Schubert’s lies.” Schubert’s job is primarily to water down NOM’s extremist agenda and sell it to voters. His ads are intentionally misleading, and use scare tactics to advance falsehoods about LGBT people. For example, Schubert’s anti-equality ads often claim that marriage equality will impact what children learn in school; that marriage equality will force religious institutions to carry out ceremonies that conflict with their teachings; or that lawmakers want to circumvent the will of the people. These are falsehoods – particularly when it comes to the impact marriage equality would have on religious institutions – that are concocted to scare voters into unknowingly supporting NOM’s aggressively anti-LGBT agenda. That agenda, according to internal NOM strategy documents obtained by HRC earlier this year, is to “drive a wedge between gays and blacks — two key Democratic constituencies.” Those same documents said of Latinos: “We must interrupt this process of assimilation by making support for marriage a key badge of Latino identity -- a symbol of resistance to inappropriate assimilation.” In fact, Schubert’s previous public relations firm is specifically cited in the documents as the group that would produce ads and other materials with the goal of “making opposition to gay marriage an identity marker.” This isn’t the first time Schubert has profited off of promoting discrimination – he was a key player in the campaign to pass Proposition 8, banning marriage equality for same-sex couples in California. Schubert also was behind the infamous “Princess” ad, which used scare tactics to mislead voters about what marriage equality really meant. In a recent New York Times profile, Schubert said of his anti-equality work: “This is a difficult argument, because it sounds as if we’re saying gay couples can’t have loving relationships or care for children, which is not the case.” That assertion is false, and the public deserves to know the true nature of NOM’s work: Just last month, NOM promoted a video equating marriage equality to incest and pedophilia. NOM has come out against civil unions in the past and regularly questions the ability of LGBT people to raise children.

NOM founder Maggie Gallagher recently implied that same-sex couples are too “volatile” to start a family. NOM’s leadership has said polygamy is preferable to marriage equality. A NOM figurehead has compared marriage for loving, committed same-sex couples to bestiality. Learn more about Frank Schubert and NOM’s true anti-LGBT animus via HRC’s NOM Exposed project at www. hrc.org/nomexposed.

Big crowd watches wedding of Chinese gay couple Gay Star News reports: Lu Zhong and Liu Wangqiang, 24 and 20 respectively, wowed their hometown of Ningde on Oct. 2, a day after the national day, as their cascade of wedding cars paraded the city’s roads and parks and showcased their love. With the newly-weds attracting as many as 1,000 onlookers, according to the West Strait Morning Post, Liu Hua-sheng, a well-wishing taxi driver, described the scene as being “grander than the Chinese New Year.” The evening climaxed when Lu and Liu, clad in black-and-white wedding suits, kissed each other on the lips. In China where same-sex marriage is not legally recognized and homosexuality often frowned at, Lu and Liu’s love has been nothing short of high profile for the public. One of the grooms claims that the local government sent “ruffians with clubs” to look for them, but the ceremony went off without interference.

TWO condemns archbishop’s cruel, bigoted letter to mom Truth Wins Out condemned Twin Cities Catholic Archbishop John Nienstedt on Oct. 8 for a letter in which he told a mother with a gay son that her “eternal salvation” may depend on whether or not she embraces the anti-gay teachings of the Catholic Church. The Minneapolis Star Tribune, which published Nienstedt’s letter last weekend as part of an article about the prelate’s aggressive efforts to pass a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, reports that it was written in May 2010 in response to a note from “a mother who pleaded for acceptance for her gay child.” “It is appalling that Archbishop Nienstedt chose to issue such an un-Christian response to a vulnerable member of his flock who came to him seeking help,” said TWO Executive Director Wayne Besen. “The archbishop’s letter shows just how deeply held his anti-gay views are.” In the letter, Nienstedt wrote that Catholics are obligated to believe the Church’s official teachings on homosexuality, and that “those who do not... ought not to participate in the sacramental life

Orlando Cruz is first boxer to come out Over two decades since he began boxing, Puerto Rican featherweight fighter Orlando Cruz came out last month, making him the first openly gay, still-competing boxer in the sport’s history. (Former fighter Emile Griffith came out as bisexual after he retired.) “I’ve been fighting for more than 24 years and as I continue my ascendant career, I want to be true to myself,” 31-year old Cruz, who began fighting at the age of 7, according to USA Today. “I want to try to be the best role model I can be for kids who might look into boxing as a sport and a professional career. I have been and will always be a proud Puerto Rican. I have always been and always will be a proud gay man.” Cruz, currently ranked fourth in his division, got his big shot in the ring during the 2000 Olympics, when he represented Puerto Rico in Sydney. The Pugilist offers more details on his career trajectory: “Cruz has been boxing since he was seven and boasted an amateur record of 178-11, taking in seven national titles in his homeland and seven international gold medals. “He turned pro shortly after the Sydney Games and won his first professional fight on December 15 2000 against Alfredo Valdez.” Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/2012/10/boxer-orlando-cruz-comes-out-making-him-first-openly-gay-man-in-sport.html#ixzz28LRGTYTH

of the Church.” He exhorted the recipient to reconsider her inclusive spiritual beliefs, saying that “[her] eternal salvation may well depend on a conversation of heart on this topic.” “Telling the parent of an LGBT child that she ‘ought not to participate in the sacramental life of the Church’ unless she renounces her pro-equality views -and that her ‘eternal salvation may well depend upon’ her willingness to accept the Catholic Church’s anti-gay teachings -- is spiritual bullying of the highest order and utterly reprehensible,” said John Becker, Director of Communications & Development for Truth Wins Out. “What kind of spiritual leader demands that a mother reject her child in order to save her soul?” Such rejection can have devastating consequences for LGBT youth: according to a 2009 study conducted by San Francisco State University researcher Caitlin Ryan and published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, LGBT teens who experienced negative feedback from their families were eight times more likely to have attempted suicide, six times more vulnerable to severe depression, and

three times more likely to use drugs than teens who did not experience negative feedback.

63 priests support Washington state marriage equality Sixty-three former Roman Catholic priests, who have a collective 800 years of service, have issued a statement supporting Washington state’s Referendum 74. “We are uneasy with the aggressive efforts of Catholic bishops to oppose R-74 and want to support the 71 percent of Catholics (Public Religion Research Institute) who support civil marriage for gays as a valid Catholic position,” they said in a statement. Former priest Pat Callahan, who organized the statement, added, “This is the first public action we’ve taken.” Callahan was in the Catholic priesthood for 15 years. Washington, Maryland and Maine will vote on marriage equality Nov 6. Minnesota is voting on a constitutional (Newsfronts continue page 6)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

local and state (Koon from page 3) voice for resources to fund the vital programs that benefit our residents,” Koon said. “I will also address expanding campaign finance reform, balancing the state budget by cutting taxes and reducing spending, economic development, alleviating the tax burden on small business, public safety, unfunded mandates, education, and youth programs,” he concluded. Election Day is Nov. 6. ■

Top court denies hate group appeal against NYS marriage law On Oct. 23, the Empire State Pride Agenda applauded the New York State Court of Appeals’ decision to deny appeal to a failed lawsuit aimed at the Marriage Equality Act. The Monroe County-based hate group New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms was alleging that proper legislative procedure was not followed during the law’s passage. In response, Pride Agenda Executive Director Nathan Schaefer issued the following statement: “This sensible decision was the only reasonable response to such a frivolous lawsuit and affirms yet again that marriage equality is the law of the land in New York State. New Yorkers and their legislators proved that they were moving with the tide of progress when marriage passed over a year ago. “They’ll throw anything at this law just to see if something sticks. Nothing will. Nothing can stop the momentum for full equality that started right here in New York State.” Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman issued a statement regarding the ruling by the New York State Court of Appeals to deny a motion to appeal the Marriage Equality Act. The Attorney General’s Office defended the State law in this case. “Today another barrier has been overcome in the struggle for full equality for gay and lesbian New Yorkers. The New York State Court of Appeals sided with my office in a rejecting a challenge to the Marriage Equality Act. With this ruling by our state’s highest court, same sex couples can now have peace of mind that this legal challenge to their marriages has been laid to rest. The struggle to secure federal recognition of all New York marriages continues, but today’s decision is an important victory for equal justice. My office will keep fighting every day to defend the fundamental guarantee of equal protection of the law for all New Yorkers.” Governor Cuomo said: “The freedom to marry in this state is secure for generations to come.” ■

national and international (Newsfronts from page 5) amendment that would enshrine marriage as exclusively between a man and a woman. The ex-priests in Washington are taking a lesson from the playbook of their counterparts in Minnesota. MinneapolisSt. Paul Archbishop John Nienstedt has warned any active priests opposing the gay marriage ban to keep their feelings to themselves. With no threat of ecclesiastical retaliation, three retired priests and dozens of former priests have made public statements against the proposed amendment.

Pueblo, Colo. approves same sex couple benefits by 6-1 vote Pueblo, Colorado’s City Council voted 6-1 on Oct. 9 to approve benefits for same-sex couples, KKTV reports: Some people cheered and others stormed out after it passed the city council by a 6 to 1 vote. At a public hearing before the vote, supporters and opponents made passionate pleas. Many wore stickers that said “Pueblo = Equality,” asking the council to put aside personal beliefs and focus on equal worker rights. About a dozen spoke in favor of the benefits ordinance, saying benefits should be based on how hard that person works, not the gender make-up of their family. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz295oqyLEu

Slain lesbian soldier has dignified burial despite Westboro church hate protest in 2011 Thanks in large part to organizers on Facebook and the Patriot Guard Riders, the Fayetteville Observer reports that Sgt. Donna Johnson received an emotional and dignified funeral Saturday, Oct. 13, with full military honors. Johnson was killed with two other soldiers in a suicide attack on Oct. 1 in Afghanistan. Johnson’s spouse, Tracy Joe Dice, attended the funeral, which was protested by the antigay Westboro Baptist Church (WBC). Members of the American Military Partners Association were also there to honor Johnson and support Dice. A WBC member dragged the American flag on the ground in contrast to the hundreds of flags flying to honor Johnson. The people came to stand between protesting members of the Westboro Baptist Church and the family in mourning. The Kansas-based congregation pickets military funerals nationwide because church leaders say soldiers’ deaths are God’s vengeance for the country’s tolerance of homosexuality.

Sgt. Donna Johnson

Raeford Police Chief Kemp Crumpler estimated an overall 1,000 to 1,500 outside the Raeford Presbyterian Church. Among them were some 175 Army National Guard soldiers dressed in crisp Army service uniforms. Marines, Navy SEALs and Army soldiers also mixed in with the crowd. Crumpler reported a minor scuffle between a Navy SEAL and four church protesters when the protestors dragged the American flag on the ground, but no arrests were made. -Karen Ocamb

NCAVP releases report on intimate partner violence The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) last month released its report Intimate Partner Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and HIV-Affected (LGBTQH) Communities in the United States in 2011. NCAVP collected data concerning intimate partner violence within LGBTQH relationships from anti-violence programs in 22 states across the country, including Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Vermont, Washington, as well as from the District of Columbia. In 2011, NCAVP documented 19 intimate partner violence (IPV) homicides, the highest yearly total ever recorded by the coalition and more than three times the six documented homicides in 2010. Of the 19 homicide victims, a majority (63.2 percent) of IPV homicide victims were men, a significant shift from 2010 when 66.7 percent of LGBTQH homicide victims identified as women. “This year’s report indicates that men are disproportionately victims of homicide in incidents of intimate partner violence,” said Gary Heath, Domestic Violence Program Coordinator at the Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization (BRAVO) in Ohio. “NCAVP’s report shows that the societal understanding of IPV survivors needs to expand to include gay men.” “It is not surprising that these homicides tended to be reported in regions where NCAVP member organizations are located,” said Tre’Andre Valentine, the Director of Organizing and Education at the Network/La Red in Boston, Massachusetts. “LGBTQH-specific anti-violence programs are more likely to recognize the signs of intimate partner violence, which law enforcement may overlook, and can document these homicides because we spend every day raising awareness about the issue of LGBTQH intimate partner violence.” The 2011 report also highlights a number of disturbing trends concerning the severity of violence experienced by LGBTQH people. This year’s report shows that LGBTQH people under 30 were approaching two times (1.59) as likely to experience physical violence. Within this vulnerable population, LGBTQH

people of color under 30 were nearly four times (3.98) as likely to experience physical violence. “We need more programs and services focused on LGBTQH youth and youth of color,” said Sandhya Luther, Director of Advocacy at the Colorado Anti-Violence Program (CAVP). “These findings underscore the need for policymakers and funders to fund LGBTQH anti-violence organizations to conduct intimate partner violence prevention initiatives, particularly prevention programs for youth and young adults.” In 2011, NCAVP programs received 3,930 reports of intimate partner violence, a decrease of 22.2 percent from 2010. This decrease was due to a substantial 42.7 percent decrease in reports from the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center (LAGLC), which lost funding and staff for their IPV programming, reducing the number of LGBTQH intimate partner violence survivors from whom they collected reports. Excluding LAGLC’s reports, there was an 18.3 percent increase in reports of LGBTQH IPV nationwide. “The decrease in overall reports of intimate partner violence this year, due to the IPV funding that we lost here at LAGLC, demonstrates the tremendous impact that funding has in allowing anti-violence programs to reach LGBTQH IPV survivors,” said Terra Slavin, DV Lead Staff Attorney at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. “We need legislation such as the reauthorization of an LGBTQ-inclusive Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) that will help ensure that all people experiencing intimate partner violence – including LGBTQ-identified survivors - receive access to life-saving support and services.” More survivors in 2011 (61.6 percent) reported being denied access to shelter than in 2010 (44.6 percent). This continues a two-year trend of increases in shelter access denials. “Lack of access to shelters and other supportive services increases a survivor’s risk of immediate danger and puts their lives at risk,” said Lisa Gilmore, Director of Education and Victim Advocacy at Center on Halsted in Chicago, Illinois. “We are calling on policymakers to institute LGBTQH-specific non-discrimination provisions to increase support and safety for all survivors and to put an end to discriminatory laws and policies that currently increase barriers and decrease safety for LGBTQH survivors when seeking support.” “This report is ultimately a tool for policymakers, funders, and advocates to use to address LGBTQH intimate partner violence,” said Chai Jindasurat, NCAVP Coordinator at the New York City AntiViolence Project. “Our recommendations and best practices offer specific solutions for increasing life-saving support for survivors, reaching LGBTQH IPV survivors, and shifting the ways in which we address intimate partner violence in the U.S. to prevent and end this violence.” The report’s specific policy recommendations include calling for the following changes: Pass an LGBTQ-inclusive Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) that protects survivors from service discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, and recognizes LGBTQ communities as under-served. Fund LGBTQH intimate partner violence prevention initiatives, particularly for youth and young adults. Support LGBTQH training and technical assistance programs to increase the cultural competency of all victim service providers. Increase local, state, and national funding to LGBTQH-specific anti-violence programs, particularly for survivorled initiatives. Increase research and documentation of LGBTQH intimate partner violence. NCAVP works to prevent, respond to, and end all forms of violence against and within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and HIV-affected (LGBTQH) communities. NCAVP is a national coalition of 41 local member programs and (NCAVP continues page 12)

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Interview

Dr. Robert Strauss, Musical Director, Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus By Susan Jordan The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will celebrate its 30th anniversary in 2013, in a 12-month period that also sees the 20th anniversary of ImageOut and the 40th anniversary of the Gay Alliance. (Maybe all three groups should hold a giant 20-30-40 party!) Musical Director Dr. Robert Strauss told The Empty Closet, “The official anniversary concert will be in June, because the very first RGMC concert took place in May 1983. Generically, people have referred to the anniversary concert theme as Pride – but it’s more like empowerment and all the things Pride embodies. “RGMC was influential in helping the Buffalo and Syracuse gay men’s choruses get started, so both have been invited to be part of the June concert.” RGMC currently has about 50 members, while the Buffalo group has around 70 and Dr. Strauss estimates the Syracuse chorus as being about 20 men. The combined choruses in June will bring 140/150 voices together. Strauss said, “Each chorus will do its

own songs, and then we’ll do a couple of combined pieces. The concert is titled ‘The Rainbow Connection’ and we’ll be singing that, Cindy Lauper’s ‘True Colors’ and more.” The annual holiday concert is coming up on Dec. 14 and 15 at 8 p.m. at Hochstein. Strauss said, “We’ve asked members and supporters for their favorite holiday songs. So we’ll be doing some of our old favorites, including jazz versions of ‘God Rest You Merry Gentlemen,’ and ‘We Three Kings.’ We’re also recording our second CD in December – a lot of the songs we’ll sing at the holiday concert will be on it, as it will be our holiday CD. We’ve finally gotten around to our second CD! Since we’ll be recording it in early December, it may not be ready by the holiday concert. We’re negotiating with local churches to record the CD – recording experts have said that churches have good acoustics. “By the time of the holiday concert we should know if the CD is ready for sale or not, and how people can get it. They can also go to our website and Facebook page. We don’t know how long it will take to

jamin Britten, who wrote the role for his partner Peter Pears. “I’ve always sort of on the side directed choruses. RGMC is the first all-male cho-

“We are trying to do more concerts and get the general community aware of our existence. Our mission is about social change and we don’t need so much to change people in our own community, but we want to reach out to allies.” record – so we’ve got our fingers crossed!” Dr. Strauss is a tenor whose degrees are in vocal performance. “I’m primarily a singer and teacher of singing,” he said. “I’ve always sung in high school and church choruses and have had gigs singing with symphonic choruses. I’ve done a lot of opera and my favorite roles have been with Mercury Opera in town. Favorite roles include Kaspar in Amahl and the Night Visitors, and Pedrillo in Mozart’s The Abduction from the Seraglio. I was also fascinated by the character of Peter Quint in The Turn of the Screw by Ben-

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church We offer a VIP Worship Vibrant Inclusive Progressive Sundays at 10:30

RGMC performs at the GALA choruses conference in Denver last July. Back Row: Steven Randell, Kevin Frisch, James Sullivan, Gary Keleher, Raul Torres, Ryan Carter, Bob Parsons, John Villani, David Clinton. Front Row: Dennis Rosenbaum, Terry Quataert, Cory Cummings, John McIntyre, Ron Schutt, Frank Hanzel, Jeffrey Greene, John Owen. Mark Brennan at the piano, Rob Strauss conducting.

Experience the Unconditional Love of God 740 Marshall Road Rochester, New York 14624 585-271-8478

rus I’ve directed. RGMC’s numbers are growing and the ages are dropping, which has been a concern – every year our average age has been increasing by a year! As director I try to be a good listener and to squelch negativity. There has been a lot of growth in the chorus.” RGMC holds auditions three times a year: in January, March and September. Dr. Strauss mentions Tchaikovsky and Mozart as among his favorite classical composers, but has a special place in his heart for Benjamin Britten. “I’m fascinated both by Britten’s music and his life,”

he says. “My guilty pleasure is ‘80s pop – that’s what I was listening to as I grew up. I love Broadway musicals and I have been in a few productions. I was Tony in West Side Story and Archibald Craven in The Secret Garden, and in the last decade I was in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Rochester Children’s Theatre.” One recent focus for RGMC has been to increase awareness of its existence among the larger Rochester public. On Oct. 11 RGMC performed at RIT’s Coming Out Day concert, organized by the RIT gay group Outspoken, which invited people to tell their coming out stories. Chorus members sang several pieces – except for those who were working at ImageOut that night. RGMC also sang at AIDS Care’s White Party on Sept. 8. Strauss said, “We are trying to do more concerts and get the general community aware of our existence. Our mission is about social change and we don’t need so much to change people in our own community, but we want to reach out to allies.” All of Rochester’s communities can expect to hear and see much more of RGMC, a gay institution still going strong after 30 years. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

Making the Scene

MAKING STRIDES AGAINST CANCER: The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus sang the national anthem at the opening ceremony for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in September. Three chorus members above, are all breast cancer survivors (Aggie Windig, Maryellen Ford, and Aimee Gasparre). Photos: Karen Wedge Landry

RECEPTION FOR LOUISE: Congresswoman Louise Slaughter addresses a group at the reception for the LGBT community, hosted on Sept. 8 by Sue Cowell, Matt Haag, and Mark Siwiec and Duffy Palmer at their home in the Park Avenue area. Photos: Jeff Mills Right: Louise with Bess Watts of Pride at Work and international human rights activist Maurice Tomlinson. Left: Chris and Jo Meleca Voigt.

CRUISIN’ WITH SAGE: Around 16 members of Rainbow SAGE cruised the Genesee and the Erie Canal on Sept. 25 aboard the Mary Jemison, which was built 81 years ago on the Chesapeake Bay. The boat is now named for “The White Woman of the Genesee,” ancestor of artist Peter Jemison, Onondowaga (Seneca) faithkeeper and Historic Site Manager at Ganondagan. Photos: Susan Jordan

LRAD CELEBRATES: On Oct. 13 the Lilac Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf (LRAD) celebrated their 20th anniversary of service in the Rochester community.

Pam Barres takes a call at Corn Hill Landing.

Ashley Powers, Nan Fry, Sandy Maddicks and Brian Hurlburt enjoy the view, which included half a dozen Great Blue Herons. More photos on page 31.

By Susan Jordan Diane Conway is a poet and cultural events producer, founder of CSWA (Culture Starts With Art). She has produced the Erotic Nights at Equal=Grounds, featuring area poets, musicians, dancers, comedians and artists, over the past several years, and plans the next one, “Spring Fever,” for March 2013. Born in Richmond, Va., Diane grew up in Henrietta. Her personal project right now is producing the art segment for Community Online Radio Station, a podcast aired on Wednesdays from 6-7 p.m. “I interviewed Michael Gamilla (of ImageOut) in October,” she said, “and also Grace Flores, rapier poet – she has a huge following of young poets like Eceyon Owens (who was also interviewed). In November I’m hoping to interview Scotty Ginett about the

World AIDS Day concert.” Diane is currently seeking poets for Spring Fever – “I will be at various poetry readings and open mics around town” – and is looking for a venue for her longstanding women’s monologue reading event. Diane says she is not a “groups” person in the sense of being a “joiner” – “I form the groups!” she said. One group she founded is Sisters Sayin’ Something (a subgroup of CSWA), which is the women’s monologue group. Her favorite local events include the Pride Parade. “It’s in my neighborhood,” she said. Diane lives in the Neighborhood of the Arts, a.k.a. NOTA. “That’s up and coming,” she commented. She lives a few blocks from the Pride Festival site. Diane also enjoys the Lilac Festival every year.

Her favorite restaurants include Sol Burrito on Monroe; “I tour Mexican cuisine,” she said. She is also a fan of Dogtown on Monroe, Esan Thai restaurant on Park Ave., and the delicious salads at Equal=Grounds. Live wire Diane loves to run and does so at Cobbs Hill, Highland Park and Ellison Park, and Beach Ave. in Charlotte. “It’s therapeutic,” she said. “I experience euphoria – my mind is cleared out and I come up with ideas. You have endorphins released – it’s a natural high. In cold weather I dance on the treadmill at Planet Fitness.” On a typical weekend, if she has the time, Diane says, “I would probably go wherever my buddy (jazz musician) Jimmy Highsmith is playing. Also I’d go to hear Amanda Ashley, a songwriter who plays keyboard. I love live music, and any new

Photo: Susan Jordan

My Own Private Rochester: Diane Conway

Diane Conway stops by Equal=Grounds for a salad.

artist of any kind. I go to Gallery One in Henrietta – the owner takes a lot of youth under his

wing and gives them a place to show their work – both artists and poets.” ■

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

IMageOut

20th Anniversary

Audience members; center, Nefdali Nedron. Photo: Garnetta Ely

IMAGES FROM IMAGEOUT Visiting guest Dan Glenn, during a Q&A after Joshua Tree, 1951. Photo Courtesy ImageOut/Matt de Turck

Todd Plank and Jamie Whitbeck at The Little Theatre on closing day of the 20th ImageOut festival. Photo: Garnetta Ely

Programming co-chair Jessica Wilkie (left) with guests Heather Bennett and Becky Lane, after their short films screened in the Chick Flick program. Photo Courtesy ImageOut/Matt de Turck

David Gardner & Tim Mains. Photo Garnetta Ely

Annette Miller and Paul Allen at the Dryden, closing night of ImageOut. Photo Garnetta Ely

Sara Julia Hickman-Himes at the closing night Jazz Age party at the Memorial Art Gallery. Photo Courtesy ImageOut/Matt de Turck

Jim Costich, Rochester resident featured in Intersexion, during a Q&A after the screening. Photo Courtesy ImageOut/ Matt de Turck

Alan van Camp (center) and friends. Photo: Garnetta Ely

Michelle Chin and Marybeth Cerrone at the MAG closing night party. Photo: Garnetta Ely.

Zach Waffle and KaeLyn Rich. Photo: Garnetta Ely

Jennifer Leitham, star of “I Stand Corrected,” plays her traveling bass after the screening. Photo: Garnetta Ely

Pandora Boxx was the special guest star at the ImageOut opening night party at Tilt. Photo: Khoury Humphrey

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

national and international (NCAVP continued from page 6) affiliate organizations in 22 states, Canada, and Washington DC, who create systemic and social change and strive to increase power, safety, and resources through data analysis, policy advocacy, education, and technical assistance. NCAVP is coordinated by the New York City Anti-Violence Project

Maryland absentee ballots missing marriage equality page With two weeks left until the election, the News4 I-Team uncovered ballot problems in Maryland. The station got a tip from a Maryland voter who says his absentee ballot arrived in the mail missing an entire page. That means he couldn’t vote on some of the most talked-about ballot issues, including Question 6 on same-sex marriage. Maryland State Board of Elections Deputy Administrator Ross Goldstein confirmed to News4- I-Team that some absentee ballots in Montgomery and Prince George’s counties are missing the second page. Election officials are downplaying the problem, saying that relatively few ballots are affected. -JoeMyGod.com

HRC: Catholic Church, NOM are biggest funders of anti-gay discrimination The Human Rights Campaign says that the Catholic Church is funneling unprecedented dollar amounts into the four states where marriage equality is on the ballot this fall – Minnesota, Mary-

land, Maine and Washington – and in many cases, parishioners may not even be aware that their dollars are being used to fund discrimination. The new report from the HRC finds that the Church has spent at least $1.1 million as part of its broader effort to deny loving, committed couples the right to marry. In addition, a close ally of the Church and past co-conspirator, the National Organization for Marriage, has spent nearly $1.4 million on the four ballot measures. In the aggregate, the Church and NOM are the single largest funders of discrimination, responsible for funding nearly 60 percent of all anti-equality efforts in Minnesota, Maryland, Maine and Washington. A significant portion of the Catholicaffiliated funding -- more than $640,000 -- comes from the Knights of Columbus, a fraternal organization within the Church. The Knights of Columbus have an established history of using their money to fight marriage equality dating back to 2005. See below for the report from Equally Blessed, a coalition of pro-LGBT Catholic groups, detailing the Knights’ longstanding financial support for antiequality measures. In Minnesota alone, the opposition to marriage equality has received more than $180,000 from dioceses across the nation. Much of this funding likely came without the knowledge of parishioners; and as diocesan schools and important programs like soup kitchens struggle for resources, the Catholic Church has instead chosen to fund hateful, misleading political campaigns targeting loving, committed couples. “The Catholic Church hierarchy has positioned itself as the leading religious organization funding discrimination against LGBT people,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “Perhaps most disturbing is the number of local parishes redirecting the hard-earned dollars of its members in the name of discrimination. “The majority of Catholics support

equality for LGBT people – they want their dollars funding things like soup kitchens, homeless shelters, and domestic violence programs; not discrimination against people several states away. The Church hierarchy owes the laity an explanation as to why they are spending this much money on discrimination, and at what cost to other crucial Church programs.” The anti-LGBT activity of the hierarchy stands in direct opposition to the values of the majority of Catholics. A 2012 Public Religion Research Institute poll found that nearly 60 percent of Catholics support marriage equality. In fact, polling indicates marriage equality is one of the least important issues Catholics are currently concerned with. That same poll, from Belden Russonello, found that 83 percent of Catholics feel their bishops should not influence their vote. “Our Catholic social teaching calls for us to work for a more loving, compassionate, and justice-oriented world for all. It does not call on us to discriminate against anyone,” said Marianne Duddy-Burke, a Catholic leader with Equally Blessed and executive director of DignityUSA. “Unfortunately, the anti-LGBT activities of the Church hierarchy stand in direct opposition to the values of the majority of Catholics.” The report, available at www.hrc. org/catholicreport, breaks down publicly reported in-kind and cash expenditures from the Church hierarchy and the Knights of Columbus to the four ballot states. In Minnesota, the Church has funded over 50 percent of the effort to write discrimination into the state constitution – spending over $608,000. That figure includes significant investments from the Knights of Columbus, as well as thousands of dollars from small parishes all across the country. The Knights of Columbus also have made sizable contributions in Maryland and Washington State – dropping $250,000 in each state on efforts to pre-

vent loving, committed same-sex couples from starting families. The hefty financial investments from the Catholic Church come as bishops in some of the largest faith communities in the country speak out with increasing frequency against LGBT people. In San Francisco, the newly appointed Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone was one of the chief architects of Proposition 8. Under his guidance, Catholic organizations in California led the charge in financing the Prop 8 campaign. In Newark, New Jersey, Archbishop John J. Myers has called on supporters of marriage equality to abstain from receiving Communion. And in Minneapolis-St. Paul, parishioners have walked out of services as pastors read letters against marriage equality from Archbishop John C. Nienstedt. Learn more about the work of the Church hierarchy and its allies in fighting marriage equality this election cycle at www.hrc.org/catholicreport. Knights of Columbus spend millions on discrimination On Oct. 18, Equally Blessed, a coalition of Catholic organizations working toward equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their families, released a report showing that the Knights of Columbus has spent more than $15.8 million fighting against marriage for committed same-sex couples since 2005. That funding includes $1.9 million to the so-called National Organization for Marriage, which uses divisive tactics and deceptive messages to intimidate lawmakers and frighten voters, including a strategy to “drive a wedge between gays and blacks.” “At a time when bishops are shutting down hospitals, homeless shelters, and even parish churches, it’s hard to understand how an organization that says it’s dedicated to ‘charity, unity, fraternity and patriotism’ couldn’t think of a better use for $15.8 million than to deny the freedom to marry for so many Americans. (Catholic continues page 14)

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

national and international (Catholic from page 12) This spending not only violates the golden rule, but is out of step with the point of view of the solid majority of American Catholics who like most Americans support the freedom to marry.” Fifty-nine percent of American Catholics support the freedom to marry, according to a Wall Street Journal/NBC poll and a Public Religion Research Institute, both released in March. The funds that the Knights of Columbus has chosen to divert into attacks on the freedom to marry could have purchased 105,333 wheelchairs for its Global Wheelchair Mission, 972,307 coats for its Coats for Kids program, or 5,873,606 meals through its Food for Families program.

HRC releases Congress report: 219 get 0 rating The Human Rights campaign has issued its evaluation of the 112th Congress. Their report gives 219 members of the House a “zero” rating. HRC on Oct. 19 released its Congressional Scorecard for the 112th Congress, rating members of Congress on their support for LGBT-equality. Analysis shows that though the LGBT equality is making gains on Capitol Hill, anti-LGBT legislators continue to halt progress. While the American people move forward on issues of equality, the majority of Congress – particularly the House – continues to be out of touch. The average score of House members was 40 percent and 35 for Senators, down significantly from the 111th Congress. For the first time in this scorecard, HRC noted whether or not members of Congress have taken an affirmative posi-

Open for dinner Tuesday-Sunday at 4pm, closed on Mondays 1550 Route 332, Farmington, NY 14425 • 585-924-8000 Happy Hour: 4-6pm, Tuesday-Friday www.proseccoitalianrestaurant.com

tion in favor of marriage equality. In the House, 115 members scored 100 percent, including 33 from states with marriage equality and eight from states facing marriage related ballot measure this November.

Anti-gay bully appointed to Minnesota bullying task force Truth Wins Out condemned the Anoka-Hennepin School Board today for appointing Bryan Lindquist, a prominent member of the Parents Action League, as a community member of the district’s new Anti-Bullying/Anti-Harassment Task Force. The Southern Poverty Law Center lists Parents Action League (PAL) as one of 27 active anti-gay hate groups across the country, specifically for demonizing and lying about LGBT people. As an anti-gay activist and PAL spokesman, Lindquist has labeled homosexuality a “lifestyle choice” and a “sexual disorder,” spread the false claim that homosexuality is a health risk, and demanded that the district include scientifically discredited “ex-gay” propaganda on its website and place so-called “ex-homosexual” and “ex-transgender” materials in high school guidance offices and media centers. “Students who identify or are perceived as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender are significantly more likely to be bullied at school than their peers,” said John Becker, Director of Communications for Truth Wins Out. “It is absolutely shocking that the Anoka-Hennepin School Board has appointed Bryan Lindquist -- a spokesman for an anti-gay hate group and a bully himself -- to serve on a task force charged with combating bullying.” The Anoka-Hennepin School District, based in Coon Rapids, Minnesota, became notorious for a teen suicide epidemic so extreme that the state declared it a “suicide contagion area.” Several suicide victims were either LGBT or perceived to be. A pervasive climate of anti-gay bullying flourished as a result of the district’s “Sexual Orientation Curriculum Policy,” which the school board enacted at the urging of local evangelical activists. It required employees to “remain neutral” on matters involving sexual orientation, but its definition of “neutrality” was so ambiguous that teachers and staff were afraid to intervene when LGBT students were harassed by their peers for fear of being reprimanded. An investigation by the U.S. Departments of Justice and Education found that the district’s “neutrality policy” contributed to a hostile environment for LGBT teens. The policy was invalidated earlier this year as part of a settlement agreement between Anoka-Hennepin and six bullied students who sued in federal court. As a condition of the settlement, the district agreed to implement a host of antiharassment policies; the task force was part of a statewide response to the bullying problem. Community member Tammy Aaberg,

whose 15-year-old son gay son Justin committed suicide in 2010 after relentless anti-LGBT bullying, applied to serve on the Anti-Bullying/Anti-Harassment Task Force but was not appointed. The application of Jefferson Fietek, faculty advisor to the local Gay-Straight Alliance and an anti-bullying trainer, was also rejected. “In addition to being shockingly tonedeaf, the exclusion of equality-minded community leaders like Fietek and Aaberg in favor of Bryan Lindquist represents a slap in the face to LGBT students, as well as parents and families that have lost an LGBT child to bullying-related suicides,” said Wayne Besen, TWO Executive Director. “Further, it calls into question the district’s commitment to ending bullying and harassment.” A letter written by School Board Chair Tom Heidemann to the editor of the Anoka County Watchdog, a local conservative blog, raises further questions. In it, Heidemann defends the board’s decision to settle the bullying lawsuit and reassures blogger Harold Hamilton that despite the school board having repealed the neutrality policy, they had “maintained [its] intent” and “did not make any changes to curriculum.” He also wrote that by doing this, the board had “preserved several core principles.” “That a so-called ‘neutrality policy’ which essentially denied the existence of LGBT teens and enabled their harassment could be deemed a ‘core principle’ of the Anoka-Hennepin School District is simply outrageous,” said TWO’s Besen. In an emailed response to Melissa Thompson, a parent who expressed concerns about Lindquist’s appointment and whose application to the task force was also rejected, Heidemann claimed that Lindquist was named to ensure that task force members reflected “very diverse points of view.” He also said that the board was “firmly committed” to addressing bullying and harassment. “Legitimizing a hateful anti-gay worldview under the pretext of ‘diversity’ is utterly repugnant,” said Becker, “especially since that view has created a climate that drives LGBT kids to take their own lives. The Anoka-Hennepin School District has a choice to make: it can either embrace the radical ideology of Bryan Lindquist and the Parents Action League or it can honestly address its infamous anti-gay bullying problem and protect its LGBT students. It can’t do both.”

Federal appeals court rules against DOMA A federal appeals court ruled Oct. 18 that the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” (DOMA) unconstitutionally discriminates against married same-sex couples. In striking down DOMA, the court held that government discrimination against lesbians and gay men now is assumed to be unconstitutional and that DOMA’s defenders could not offer any (DOMA continues page 16)

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Opinion It’s the Supreme Court, stupid! By Marc Paige No community has more at stake in this presidential election than the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. In Barack Obama, we have a Democratic candidate who has embraced full equality for LGBT people. We have a Republican candidate in Mitt Romney who is against the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, was against ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and is against marriage equality or civil unions for gay couples. In Romney’s vice-presidential pick Paul Ryan, we have a man who not only voted against ending DADT, but also voted against allowing gay people to adopt in the District of Columbia. Paul Ryan has told the president of Focus on the Family that a Romney/Ryan administration “will protect traditional marriage and the rule of law and we will provide the Defense of Marriage Act the proper defense in the courts that it deserves.” It doesn’t get clearer, or meaner, than that. The most profound and lasting legacy for any president tends to be their lifetime appointments to the Supreme Court. The Romney campaign has turned to Robert Bork to lead a committee devoted to finding his SCOTUS nominees. Bork is a radically conservative former judge whose own appointment to the Supreme Court by President Reagan was blocked by the Senate in 1987. Romney’s choice of Bork as co-chair of his Justice Advisory Committee wasn’t merely a dog whistle to the extreme right; it was a bullhorn. Robert Bork is rabidly anti-gay. In making the case for a Federal Marriage Amendment to the Constitution to block gay marriage, Bork writes, “Compassion, if nothing else, should urge us to avoid the consequences of making homosexuality seem a normal and acceptable choice for the young.” Bork warns that if samesex marriage passes, “I think we’ll become much more accommodating to man-boy associations, polygamists and so forth.” When Romney announced Bork as his advisor on court appointments, he said of Bork, “I wish he were already on the Supreme Court.” The next president will almost certainly need to replace at least one justice, liberal-leaning Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who at 79 and a cancer patient, is very likely to retire within the next four years. Obama already has a history of SCOTUS appointments with Justices Sotomayor and Kagan. Bill Keller writes in the New York Times that for his part, Romney “is committed to filling any Supreme Court vacancies with Scalias. Twenty-six years ago Antonin Scalia

was confirmed to a lifetime seat on the United States Supreme Court, as a legacy of the Reagan presidency. As a Supreme Court Justice, Scalia voted in 2003 to uphold state laws criminalizing gay sex. He says the Constitution does not protect the privacy of consenting adults in their own homes, and believes states are entitled to pass laws singling out LGBT people for discrimination. At a book signing earlier this month, Scalia was scornful over the idea that equal protection applies to gay people. “Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years, it was criminal in every state.” LGBT Americans are on the cusp of achieving the full equality under the law sought for decades. The nation is also only one Supreme Court appointment away from overturning Roe v. Wade, and ending hopes for federal marriage rights for gay couples for a generation. The Romney/Ryan ticket is committed to the latter. The 2012 Republican Party platform is clear in its hatred for LGBT people. The responsibility for drafting the document’s language on gay issues was given to Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, a man who calls gayrights activists vile pawns of Satan. In 2010 Perkins attacked Obama when the President denounced proposed legislation in Uganda that would punish homosexual “repeat offenders” with death. Predictably, the Republican platform calls for an anti-gay amendment to the Constitution, and criticizes President Obama for not defending DOMA and for ending DADT. But the GOP document also berates the U.S. for advocating an end to foreign anti-gay laws as well: “The effectiveness of our foreign aid has been limited by the cultural agenda of the current Administration, attempting to impose on foreign countries, especially the peoples of Africa, legalized abortion and the homosexual rights agenda...We will reverse this tragic course.” The New York Times accurately calls this platform “more aggressive in its opposition... to gay rights than any in memory.” Under a second Obama/Biden term, the forward movement on LGBT equality of the last four years will continue. Under a Romney presidency, this progress will end. A Romney-shaped SCOTUS will stop LGBT equality, especially on marriage rights, not only for four years, but for a generation. Anyone who says otherwise is either uninformed, or lying. Now go vote as if your life depends on it. In many ways, it does. Marc Paige is a writer, gay activist, and HIV/AIDS Prevention Educator. Originally posted on The Bilerico Project. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

national and international ( DOMA from page 14) good reason for treating married same-sex couples differently from all other married couples. This is the first federal appeals court decision to decide that government discrimination against gay people gets a more exacting level of judicial review, known as “heightened scrutiny.” The law had been challenged by Edith “Edie” Windsor, who sued the federal government for failing to recognize her marriage to her partner Thea Spyer, after Spyer’s death in 2009. Windsor and Spyer, who were a couple for 44 years, were married in Canada in 2007, and were considered married by their home state of New York. “This law violated the fundamental American principle of fairness that we all cherish,” said Windsor. “I know Thea would have been so proud to see how far we have come in our fight to be treated with dignity.” In her lawsuit, Windsor argued that DOMA violates the equal protection guarantee of the U.S. Constitution because it requires the government to treat same-sex couples who are legally married as strangers. Windsor’s lawsuit was filed by the law firm of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP, the American Civil Liberties Union and the New York Civil Liberties Union. When Thea Spyer died in 2009, she left all of her property to Windsor, including the apartment they shared. Because they were married, Spyer’s estate normally would have passed to her spouse without any estate tax at all. But because DOMA prevents recognition of the otherwise valid marriages of same-sex couples, Windsor had to pay more than $363,000 in federal estate taxes. “Yet again, a federal court has found that it is completely unfair to treat mar-

ried same-sex couples as though they’re legal strangers,” said James Esseks, Director of the ACLU LGBT Project. “Edie and Thea were there for each other in sickness and in health like any other married couple, and it’s unfair for the government to disregard both their marriage and the life they built together and treat them like second-class citizens.” Windsor, a senior computer systems programmer, and Spyer, a clinical psychologist, met in the early 1960s, and lived together for more than four decades in Greenwich Village. Despite not being able to get legally married, they were engaged to each other in 1967. Spyer was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and Windsor helped her through her long battle with the disease. They were finally legally married in May 2007. “We are pleased that the federal circuit that represents three states that provide their gay and lesbian citizens with the right to marry affirmed the decision of the district court,” said Roberta Kaplan of Paul, Weiss, counsel to Ms. Windsor. “Given her age and health, we are eager for Ms. Windsor to get a refund of the unconstitutional tax she was forced to pay as soon as possible.” Windsor has petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court to hear her case. The court has not yet decided whether to hear her case, or any of several other challenges to DOMA. “Edie and Thea’s home state of New York has long respected the marriages of same-sex couples and explicitly supports the freedom to marry,” said Mariko Hirose, staff attorney with the New York Civil Liberties Union. “It is only right that the federal government respect the state’s decision and treat all married couples fairly.” For a copy of the decision, go to: www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights/windsor-v-united-states-united-states-court-appeals-2ndcircuit-decision More on this case can be found at: www.aclu.org/edie (Newsfronts continues page 20)

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Delectalicious

The

Dines h

Thank you to these excellent establishments - and you - for participating in this year’s community-wide Dining Out experience.

wit

Thank you

I DIN ED g ay

allian

Save the Date! RED BALL February 9 Gay Alliance 2012 Red Ball Community Valentines Dance The Ruby Masqueerade Saturday February 9, 2013 7-11 pm Raffles & Prizes Wine & Beer Lounge Celebrating Community, Love, Friendship & the Gay Alliance’s 40th Anniversary Cathedral Ballroom Auditorium Theater 875 E. Main Street Tickets $10/Advance $15/door www.gayalliance.org Give your sweetheart a stock-stuffer! Buy your tickets now. www.gayalliance.org

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

national and international ( Newsfronts from page 14)

US Census seeks advice on LGBT inclusion Chris Geidner reports on an unprecedented move by the U.S. Census. The U.S. Census Bureau announced Oct. 12 that it is seeking advice on how to address lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender populations in implementing the once-a-decade census. The census, which has never counted LGBT people directly, has indirectly referenced gay people through its count of same-sex married couples and “unmarried partner” households in the past. With the formation of the National Advisory Committee on Racial, Ethnic and Other Populations, however, the

Census Bureau has now stated that it will be seeking advice from the 31-member committee “on topics such as housing, children, youth, poverty, privacy, race and ethnicity, as well as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other populations.” Specifically, the Bureau noted, the committee will provide advice on “a wide range of variables that affect the cost, accuracy and implementation of the Census Bureau’s programs and surveys, including the once-a-decade census.” Geidner speculates that the Census Bureau may be seeking a method to more accurately count (or at least estimate) the number of LGBT Americans. -Towleroad.com ■

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On Shoulders to Stand On preview at ImageOut: WOW! A great success! By Evelyn Bailey On Oct. 9, before the 7 p.m. showing of “The Celluloid Closet” at the Dryden Theatre, the preview/trailer to the 90-minute documentary on the history of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Community of Rochester was shown. As moviegoers came in to the theatre, they were handed the Just Give $3 envelopes for a donation to Shoulders. At 7 p.m. Michael Gamilla came to the podium and announced the Documentary Preview/Trailer. Members of the Rochester gay community saw themselves on the big screen recounting snippets of struggle, success, pride, conflict, AIDS epidemic, and more. You could sense the swell of pride, heartfelt response, and an overwhelming realization that this is OUR story! The completed 90-minute Documentary on the History of the Rochester LGBT Community will be the culmination of the 40th Anniversary of the Gay Alliance at next year’s ImageOut 2013. The 40th Anniversary year of the Gay Alliance will provide our Rochester LGBT community with a year of celebration and pride. This preview would not have been possible without the energy, time and talent of Kevin Indovino, the Director/ Producer of the documentary, a true artist in his craft. I also need to recognize our major donors Anthony Mascioli, Tim Tompkins, John Dash, Bill DeStevens, Marilyn Tedeschi and Vickie Fumia, Paul Scheib, Bob Bramlet, and many more. “Hollywood, that great maker of myths, taught straight people what to think about gays and gay people what to think about themselves.” The Documentary on the History of Rochester LGBT Community will hopefully do for Rochester what “The Celluloid Closet” and Hollywood did -- teach the greater Rochester community what to think about the lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender community of Rochester, and the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community of Rochester what to think about itself! Thank you ImageOut and thank you to our friends and allies for all your support. Watch for information on our year celebrating the 40th Anniversary of the Gay Alliance, culminating at the showing of the 90 minute documentary on the History of the Rochester LGBT Community at ImageOut 2013. Another historical moment! In gratitude to those who have come before us and those who stand in our midst, Shoulders To Stand On is proud of our com-

munity and proud of our history. Thank you ImageOut for helping us to see and embrace who we are!

History corner: November Larry Champoux invented the protoImageOut in 1992 for an LGBT conference. Here is an early, early precursor: From the Fall Issue of The Empty Closet, 1971: “This issue of The Empty Closet is lovingly brought to you by the women of the U of R Gay Liberation Front. Insights into women have been few. Insights into gay women almost negligible. It is to the ever-increasing activity and reflections of gay women that this issue is dedicated. In this issue of the EC there is a listing of lesbian dominated films:

“The following list includes films in which Lesbianism is dominant or important to the theme, plot, characterization, tone, or style of the film. Many of the older films are probably available in 16 mm for showings to groups. Comments and additions to the list would be welcome.” The Children’s Hour. UA 1962 Dir. William Wyler The Fox. Warner’s, 1968, Dir. Mark Rydell. The Group. UA, 1965, Dir. Sidney Lumet. Justine. 20th, 1969 Dir. George Cukor. The Killing of Sister George. National General, 1968, Dir. Robert Aldrich. No Exit. Zenith-International, 1962, Dir. Ted Danielewski The Pit of Loneliness. French, 1954. Dir. Jacqueline Audry. The Silence. Janus, 1964, Dir. Ingmar Bergman. Therese and Isabelle. Audobon Films, 1968, Dir. Radley H. Metzger. The Vampire Lovers. American-International, 1970, Dir. Roy Ward Baker. Walk On the Wild Side. Col., 1962, Dir. Edward Dmytryk.

Request for EC Old Copies Needed: old copies of The Empty Closet. The Gay Alliance Archives is looking for old copies of The Empty Closet newspaper for the following years: 1974 –1979: All issues; 1982–1985: All issues; 1989–1993: All issues; 1997–1998: All issues; 2002: All issues. If you have copies of issues from any of these years, please contact the Gay Alliance. You can bring them to our office on the 5th floor of the Auditorium Theatre or to the Library on the first floor during Library hours, Wednesdays 6-8 p.m. Thank you in advance for your help.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up How To Survive A Plague By Eric Bellmann I brag to people that when I’m in New York City I see a movie a day. Rather like eating an apple a day, my spiritual health is enhanced by going to movies. Sometimes I see two! I usually go early. Several theaters have screenings at 11 a.m. Then I am free for the afternoon to wander the city as I please. I cross index films I want to see using The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Onion, and Time Out New York. Within walking distance from where I stay are several Art houses: IFC, The Quad, Film Forum, Cinema Village East, Angelica, and Landmark Sunshine. I much prefer to go to the movies first thing in the day. More than once I have been the only person in the audience. No annoying cell phone addicts then! Actually, in the Art houses patrons are discreet. Only in the multiplexes is one challenged with the contemporary obsession with hand held devices. Modern times. Almost all of the movies I see are ones that will not reach Rochester. I’ve learned than in some theaters there is a test run where the audience count determines if a movie will be released nationally. Often filmmakers will show up for a Q and A, but that’s almost always for evening showings. It kills me if I read an encouraging review while I’m still here and by the time I get to New York, the film has closed. For weeks I chased “Margaret” (the film the New York Times called “ the best movie you’ve never heard of”) before I lucked out and saw it. Did it ever play in Rochester? An odd mechanism kicks in now and then. I will read about a film that has only rave reviews and something about it makes me drag my feet. I’m never sure why exactly that is. That was the case with “How to Survive a Plague”. I assumed it was just another documentary about the AIDS epidemic. I’ve seen more than my share of docs about gay liberation, what would one more tell me? So, I put it off for several days, until I checked the Friday Times and saw it was the only capsule review with an asterisk meaning: must see. OK, I’ll go. “How To Survive A Plague” is an astonishing movie. It is the story of ACT UP, the ground-breaking organization that brought the conflict between activists and the government to the streets. It follows the history of the group from its earliest confrontational days to success in getting protease inhibitors on the market. There are newsreel clips, home movies and interviews. In the film you see a youthful Larry Kramer, an energetic, smiling Ann Northrup and a handful of HIV positive men who dedicate their lives to the fight. So far, so ho hum. I was there in New York before the epidemic was understood. Then, on later visits, I saw men in restaurants tugging their IV drips behind them as they came in for dinner. One summer, years later, I was in Central Park’s Great Lawn when the entire AIDS Quilt was exhibited in New York for the last time. I sat on the ground and wrote names and messages for men I knew who had died: Terry and Richard from Rochester who had moved to New York to be happily gay, and Bob, the actor I met on tour whose

apartment I sublet one summer. I sat on the great lawn, sobbing, listening to a parade of lovers, friends and parents recite the names of the dead. I felt virtuous, a witness, part of history. Eventually, back in Rochester, AIDS no longer seemed to me like a gay issue. It was not only a gay issue. There were other issues: marriage equality, the military, civil rights. Matters facing the living. I guess what happened was an unconscious need to insulate myself from grief, to seal it off. One thinks, I’m done with this, I can’t relive the pain, the loss again. I want freedom from the past. About twenty minutes before the end of “How To Survive The Plague,” one of the men we have watched throughout the film, a man who in the early years was lean and handsome and had said he never expected to live, fills the screen with his face, now ripened into maturity and says, “We got lucky.” The protease inhibitors worked. Then the half dozen men we have come to know through protests, marches, speeches before Senate hearings, confrontations with reporters, reappear. They have eye glasses now, less hair, sagging cheeks, but they remain beautiful. They are alive! They continue to ride bikes through the city, such a funny thing that seemed to capture the joy of life. I gasp in the darkness. I hadn’t expected this ending. After the movie ends, I walk out to a sunny 7th Avenue, ready for whatever the city holds in store for me. Despite the prospect of adventure something unsettled is nagging inside me. Movies, of course, are meant to enrich life. Art, someone said, is the corrective to life. My unpleasant feeling, I think, is shame. I lived through all that history. I was there but for long stretches of time I didn’t pay attention. I didn’t join the fight. I wonder, did I do enough with my life? I don’t think I want to see another movie today. I just want to look at people, alive and walking around New York City. Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Cleaning My Closet Boxed In Location By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger I have boxes on my mind. Numerous and various. Little decorative boxes that, once upon a time, I collected because. Because I could. Plastic cat litter boxes, with handles, too useful to recycle. Pretty gift-boxes too fancy to discard. Anger Boxes. Of course, in this month in this year, I think about the ballot box. Visions of Mommy dance through my head. She volunteered to work in the little voting sheds that the city delivered to various curbs. Gray wood-sided with an IN door and an OUT door. And no heat. Mommy wore layers of sweaters to be able to serve her country. This November I will drive to a heated building. I will receive my ballot sheet after a signature match. (What happened to high-tech pull-the handle-down thingies?) I will slip my ballot close to the little cardboard barrier. (What happened to the cloth curtain I used to pull around me?) I will fully blacken some bubbles. Then I will carefully sneak my answer sheet into the collection box supervised by a poll person who empties the donut box and hopes crowds of voters will fill the bal-

lot box. Actually, in my fifty years of voting, I have never seen a crowd. Not even a long line. I go because I have the right and the responsibility. Because winning the right to vote took a long time. And I live a mere fifteen miles from Susan B. Anthony’s house. And my Grandma Olive was thirty-four before women won the right to vote. I know Grandma cherished that privilege. For those reasons I will take Grandma’s picture with me so she can watch me drop my votes into the ballet box. Well, whether frosty political ads or plummeting temperatures were the cause, this October my arms began to yearn for cozy sweaters. I crawled into our tiny attic space to start Seasonal Clothes Switching. (I once had eight closets, now I have two.) I sat on a wee stool (now that my knees refuse to kneel) to survey cardboard boxes, see-through storage boxes, and random piles of yet-to-be-boxed possessions. As I extricated clothes of wool, flannel and down, I tried to get rid of my nolonger-used garments and Old Stuff. Box after box revealed hoarded, not recycled, Saved Stuff. Three extra pillows, 5 blankets, 7 rugs (a few mauve colored from my appalling Pink Period), 9 pairs of curtains, 2 mattress covers, 4 coats, 6 jackets, 8 pairs of who-do-these-fit jeans, and 27 old shirts that I might use for gardening. (Wouldn’t three do? I remember, during our years of want and frugality, my mother’s formula: one for today, one atthe-ready in the drawer, and one waiting in the laundry basket.) This year’s plan: open a box; empty the box; deliver to Goodwill. But no, my hands refused to unclench. Crazy Mind said “Maybe I will wear that black see-through blouse I bought three years ago. Perhaps that too-blue sweater really doesn’t vibrate.” My selfish hands jammed unworn clothes back into the box of What If. Shame warmed my face as I scooted my weary butt towards the attic door, leaving still-full boxes behind. A nagging fear followed me. Maybe I was very close to the American Dream: supersized abundance. Accumulate more and often. Stash Old Stuff. Fill clean, sturdy boxes. Rent a waterproof storage space in a secured lot to keep the Old Stuff safe and dry. Quickly drive toward my threebedroom house in my new car that seats four comfortably. And do not look under the Frederick Douglas/Susan B. Anthony Memorial Bridge where homeless people live. Done with boxes, I decided. I walked into My Room. I expected to relax at my desk, to read some emails, maybe even return to my paint project, decorating a rocking chair with swirls, flowers, squiggles, and dots, dots, dots. Then my mind meandered. My gaze shifted to Aunt Lynne’s intriguing oil paintings, her discovered-late-in-life talent… marbles in a glass jar, marbles rolling out of a tipped-over creamy peanut butter jar. Flowers caught in soap bubble circles. Black circles floating over a lily pond. All the while fond memories were floating to my consciousness. Time eased by. I glanced at my special hardcover books, my collections of alphabet books, Cinderella stories, and cat tales. Books treasured because they have paper pages I can touch, illustrations I can revisit, stories I can escape into. Just what I needed, I thought. I would sit very, very still, surrounded by beloved books, and that would be an antidote for my recently acquired Anxiety. Too soon my reverie was interrupted by a jolting observation. My Room was appallingly overloaded with old stuff. Things. Objects. Possessions. Miniatures crowded into every space… china figurines, handmade dolls, tiny elephants, ducks, ducks, ducks, and a multitude of cat-clutter from my days as a stereotypical single lesbian. Oh my goddess. Essentially I was sitting in a box with a door. That did not make me happy. My room was, as someone had recently opined, like a museum. Which made me

what? A relic. A leftover from the past. Oh no, not what I needed that day, that moment. A whirlwind of despair sucked the air from my lungs. My obsessive-compulsive disorder swirled through my body. Within seconds I was on my feet, grabbing those plastic boxes, gathering cardboard boxes. I flew through My Room, snatching tiny animals, sentimental junk, and useless clutter, and jamming everything into boxes. I hit the dining room full speed, removing dozens of candles and their holders. (They are from days gone by, we never use them anymore.) Packing away doilies and throw pillows. (Who uses those things anymore?) Wrapping useless glassware… salt dishes, napkin rings, vases, decorative bowls, cupless saucers. Quickly through the living room, stripping away more. Into the bedroom to denude all the surfaces. Nearly at the end of my energy, I dragged the many filled boxes down the stairs into the cellar. I returned to the first floor, walked through the rooms, and felt an emptiness. I climbed to the second floor, stood in the center of My Room, and slowly turned in a circle to see what was no longer there. Connections gone. Attachments gone. Deep in the center of my chest the black hole of throbbing anxiety was not gone. The Anger Boxes remained. The Anger Boxes healed nothing. MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net

Faith Matters Re-introducing lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women of African descent By Rev. Irene Monroe I thought I would re-introduce a subgroup in our LGBTQ community that is too often forgotten and/or ignored -- lesbians, bisexual, and transgender women of African descent. I want to re-introduce this group because a groundbreaking study in July came out titled “Black Lesbians Matter,” examining the unique experiences, perspectives and priorities of the Black LBT community, and sadly little is known about it. This report reveals that LBT women of African descent are among the most vulnerable in our society and need advocacy in the areas of financial security, healthcare, access to education and marriage equality. The study is akin to a census conducted over several months in 2009-2010, where 1,596 LBT women from regional, statewide, and local organizations in New York, Atlanta, Chicago, and Denver, and also through an on-line survey, participated. The study focused on five key areas: health, family/parenting, identity, aging, and invisibility. Key findings of the survey revealed the following: Health - There is a pattern of higher suicide rates among us. Scholars have primarily associated these higher suicide rates with one’s ability to deal with “coming out.” • Family/Parenting – 45 percent of Black female same-sex households include a biological child of one of the partners in their household. Anti-gay parenting policies in the United States will disproportionately affect Black LBT parents, or would-be parents. • Identity - In the 18-24 age group 69 percent are least likely to identify as lesbian. Most identify as queer. • Aging – 25 percent over the age of 50 live alone and fear poverty and homelessness. • Invisibility – 48 percent have been rejected and discriminated against, disclosing one’s identity in the workplace leading to exclusion from company events, and even termination.

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet It’s clear the survey brings to the forefront information from a traditionally marginalized group, highlighting the needs and concerns defined by the community. But Zuna is the first to gather the data on us. Although Zuna Institute has been around since 1999, people still ask who they are. The inimitable way that black women’s kitchens function as “think tanks” on social justice and civil rights issues, birthing numerous organizations, is also how Zuna Institute was founded. Zuna is the first of its kind in becoming a national organization providing services to the Black LBT community. Believing that the development of a healthy Black LBT identity can only come about by advocating specifically for LBT of African descent on a national level, and that it would effectively eliminate the stigma and the barriers of race, class, gender, and sexual orientation discrimination we face daily, Zuna aims at bettering our quality of life by holding national conferences providing relational/social and educational resources to use for healthcare, political, and economic advocacy. Since the 1970s there has been nearly a twenty-year hiatus since the country has seen collective black LBT activism on a national level. However, back in the 1970s LBT women of African descent had a more prominent and visible role in queer and feminist politics. Two of the hot spots were New York and Boston. In New York the “Salsa Soul Sisters, Third World Wimmin Inc Collective” was the first “out” women of color organization and oldest black lesbian organization in the country. Today the group is known as “African Ancestral Lesbians United for Social Change.” And in Boston the “Combahee River Collective,” referring to Harriet Tubman, Conductor on the Underground Railroad, who freed 750 slaves near the Combahee River in South Carolina in 1863, was an active black feminist lesbian organization from 1974-1980. The group is most known for “The Combahee River Collective Statement,” a key document in the history and shaping of black feminist thought. The document presented a new paradigm to look at oppressions by not ranking them, like race, class, gender and sexual orientation, on a hierarchy of oppression, but rather to look at them all from a multidimensional analysis, recognizing them as interlocking oppressions. Today here in Greater Boston the ethos of the “Combahee River Collective” is continued with “Queer Women of Color and Friends” (QWOC+ Boston), a grassroots organization dedicated to creating a diverse social space for LGBTQ women of color. Deceased African-American poet and activist Pat Parker, in her book “Movement in Black,” wrote about how society did not embrace her multiple identities. “If I could take all my parts with me when I go somewhere, and not have to

say to one of them, ’No, you stay home tonight, you won’t be welcome, because I’m going to an all-white party where I can be gay, but not Black.’ Or ‘I’m going to a Black poetry reading, and half of the poets are antihomosexual, or thousands of situations where something of what I am cannot come with me.’ The day all the different parts of me can come along, we would have what I would call a revolution.” After nearly two decades of LBT women of African descent’s invisibility on a national level, Zuna is causing a revolution by taking the bold step in this era of single-issue queer politics to remind us all that we, too, matter.

A Few Bricks Short Thank You for Being a Friend! By David Hull The first teaching job I ever had, almost 25 years ago, was in a day care center that I won’t tell you the actual name of, but I will tell you that my coteacher and I secretly called it “Kinder-Hell” whenever we talked outside of work. My co-teacher was Sandy. We had both been anxious to get into the workplace back in the spring of 1988. I had just graduated college with a teaching degree and desperately needed a full-time job. Sandy’s children were grown, in high school and off to college, and she wanted to get back to work in the field of early education. As fate would have it, we had the great luck of being assigned to co-teach together in the same preschool classroom. Unfortunately, we were teaching at (cue the thunder and lightning!) Kinder-Hell! Tiny classrooms, a borderline psychotic director, bizarre meals for the children and a playground that spent much of the time submerged under water. Neither of us lasted long at that job. After a couple of months Sandy resigned from her position after the director had decided that Sandy and the center were not really a “good fit.” My response was: “Oh, hell, no! If Sandy doesn’t have to work there, then I’m not working there either!” Luckily, a few days later a better job offer came my way and I too made my escape from Kinder-Hell. But Sandy and I remained friends; like warriors who had suffered through a horrible battle together and somehow managed to survive, we remained loyal to each other. We’d get together every couple months and visit bookstores or coffee shops or festivals or museums or art galleries together. Often we went to the movies – our favorite was Legally Blonde starring Reese Witherspoon. We always got together for our birthdays and for Christmas. We talk-

ed about family, home projects, books, TV shows, and our battles with cholesterol. And, best of all, we shared many, many laughs. We remained close friends through family illnesses, health problems and even the loss of family members. But two years ago Sandy and I lost touch. She was living in a nice assisted living facility and doing well. I was still teaching, but family illness took up a lot of my time and I neglected going to visit her. Sandy’s loss of vision even stopped our monthly letter writing, which we had been keeping up with for years. I kept meaning to go and visit, but I didn’t ever do it. I don’t really have an excuse. I just kept thinking that I would do it soon – next week, next weekend, next month. Then, recently, Sandy’s daughter called. Sandy’s health had taken a turn for the worst. Sandy had asked if I would come to see her at the hospital. That afternoon I left work early and hurried to see my old friend. Thankfully, Sandy was doing pretty well and we had time to talk and laugh and reminisce. We caught up on family and recent events and even talked about politics, just like the old times. I felt as if those two years had never passed by and we were just sharing another visit. It was good. I went back to see Sandy the next week and she had received surprising news from the doctors that morning. Her health was so improved they were actually sending her home to the assisted living facility. As I was getting ready to leave that evening, we agreed that when I came to visit her next time, I’d stop at our favorite Italian restaurant where we used to go all the time and get take-out for us. She agreed that was a wonderful idea. Unfortunately, that never happened. I received another phone call from Sandy’s daughter about a week later. Sandy had passed away very suddenly. She was gone. I was sad, but I was also relieved that I had gotten the chance to reconnect with Sandy. And I knew there was a life lesson in there somewhere. Don’t take friends and family for granted – don’t put off giving them a phone call or stopping by for a visit. Keep in touch. You really don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Do it today. I thought of all the friends and family members that I hadn’t talked to in a long time or had actually lost contact with altogether. I promised myself I wasn’t going to do that again. “That’s easy to say, but very difficult to do,” said my husband, Bernie. That evening I called my favorite aunt, Rose, who I hadn’t seen in quite a while. “Hi, Aunt Rose, it’s David,” I said “Hi, honey,” she replied. “What do you need?” “Oh, I don’t need anything. I thought I’d just give you a call and see how you were doing. I miss you.” There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, then Aunt Rose replied: “Okay.” “I haven’t seen you in a long time, so I

23 was just calling to say hello.” Aunt Rose sighed. “Have you been drinking, David?” “No,” I said. “I haven’t been drinking. Can’t I just call to check up on you?” “Does your mother know about this?” Aunt Rose asked. “Why would my mother have to know I’m calling you?” “Well, is there a point to this call?” asked my aunt. “It’s right in the middle of Wheel of Fortune on TV.” “Should I call back a little later,” I asked. “For what?” she asked. “Never mind,” I replied. “I’ll see you sometime soon.” “I’ll see you at Thanksgiving, honey,” Aunt Rose replied. “Remind Bernie to make cranberry sauce. Bye-bye.” Okay, so that didn’t go quite as I expected. But the lesson is still valid. Make sure I keep in touch with folks who mean something to me and let them know I’m thinking of them – just remember not to call during Wheel of Fortune. I’m sure my old friend Sandy would agree with that! You can contact David at davidhull59@ aol.com

Introducing a new column Thoughts with Brandon Gay-er than Gay: the war on effeminacy By Brandon W. Brooks W hat does it mean to be “gayer” than the next gay man? Is this “gayness” a measurable quality? Is there a quantification system that officially determines one’s amount of “gay qualities?” I often hear gay men make reference to the level of “gayness” one possesses or exhibits, and how this amount of “gayness” determines how desirable we find gay men to be. Take a look at any gay dating website, and you will find the answer ringing through the ads: “I’m looking for a hetero-ish man, a straightacting man, a butch man, no femmes or queens need apply.” It is increasingly common for quantitative adjectives like “heteroish, straight-acting, and butch” to be used in personal ads, our daily dialect, and the ways in which we evaluate others and ourselves. The LGBT community has long been a group of individuals who laud and demand economic, legal, religious, financial and social equality for LGBT individuals. We can identify and feel the scorn of heterosexism and homopho-

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012 being “too” feminine or worse, effeminate. In a way, this all boils down to sexism; the idea that maleness and masculinity (often mistakenly thought of as naturally paired) are more desirable, more workable and more useful qualities to possess. What is worse, we as a gay community have internalized this masculine ideal, and have used it to scorn our own. The fact that it is internalized makes it difficult (for some) to identify what we are really doing when we say, “I want someone who is hetero-ish.” This war on the effeminate is only continuing the war against women and the Goddess within us all. It is high time we embrace our inner Goddesses, and say good-bye to internalized homophobia once and for all. This can only be done, however, with increased self-regulation, an articulate (and insistent) internal dialogue, and a genuine desire to better ourselves for those around us, and for the LGBT community as a whole. And in the words of the Goddess herself, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?!” Can I get an Amen up in here? Questions, comments or concerns? Visit BrandonBrooks@mail.adelphi.edu ■

The Avenue Pub 37 Year Landmark in the Gay Community

y ea 30

rs y ea 30

rs r

er y

Est. 1975

y ov

Serving Roches ter’s ga

Est. 1975

The Avenue Pub 522 Monroe Avenue 585-244-4960

Serving Roches ter’s

(Columnists continued from page 23) bia all around us, and will usually go out of our way to point it out and put a stop to it, in one way or another. It is easy to illuminate the hatred, misunderstanding, ignorance and homophobia of others, but what about ourselves? To be lesbian, gay, bi or transgender must exclude us from being homophobic, heterosexist, or sexist ourselves… right? Unfortunately this is not the case at all. Internalized homophobia runs rampant in the gay community, and desired qualities such as gay men who are “hetero-ish or straight-acting” can be regarded as examples of this internalized homophobia being expressed. This is a case of the gay community turning against itself; a case of gay men wanting a gay man who does not appear gay at all. Expressed masculinity, which currently reigns as premium across sexual orientations and the sexes (just look at poor Johnny Weir’s Olympic ratings), has been ascribed to male heterosexuality in a way that makes both seem eternally entwined in identity and form, indispensable in a “hetero-ish” performance. By labeling gay men who perform “hetero-ish” or “straight-acting” as desirable and discarding the rest for being “femme” or not “butch” enough, what we do is further ostracize the gay community for being gay, or at least for

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community ComeoutDancin’

Just Us Guys

Meetings in November for ComeoutDancin’ are as follows: Sunday, Nov. 4 and Sunday, Nov. 18: ComeoutDancin’ Swing & Salsa. All dances take place at The Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Charlotte Street across from the East End Garage), between 3-5 p.m. Admission is $5. All are welcome. For more info contact comeoutdancin@gayalliance.org or 585-436-9526

Assuming that we have all survived Election Day 2012 and not many of us have left the country, our November gathering will be at AIDS Care on Tuesday, Nov. 13. Gathering time is 6 p.m. in the lower level conference room. The program will feature Bruce Woolley, a JUG member who is active with Shoulders to Stand On and the Gay Alliance Library & Archives. Recently Bruce has been reviewing issues of WE Magazine, which was published locally from 1944 to 1982. This tabloid was published every two weeks and was known for many interesting articles about gay activities in Rochester and surrounding areas. Bruce promises to relate some of the real “dirt” evolving from WE’s existence. For those attending the November meeting, please bring a new unwrapped children’s toy. These toys will be passed along to the Rochester Rams for their Annual Community Toy Drive, which benefits the Roosevelt Children’s Center in Newark. As always, guests and visitors are welcome to our gatherings. For more information about the group, contact Ron at 729-2259 or email rmatter1@rochester. rr.com

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of November 2012. First Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music; second Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music; third Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel fourth Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Supper. November Pot Luck Theme: “Anything but Turkey!” Most of us are still eating leftovers from our Thanksgiving dinner, thankful that we had friends and family to share the bulk of that turkey. This month’s potluck falls only days after that feast, and who wants to eat yet another turkey dish? So dig through your recipe box and find something that does not contain turkey and bring it along to share with us. No time to cook? Just bring yourself and a friend or two and join us for food and fun. News from the Pews: Oct. 14 was our 37th anniversary and we had a great turnout of friends and family for the Mass and dinner that followed at Bazil’s. DignityBuffalo was represented, and they celebrated their 36th anniversary on Oct. 20. You also may remember our former chaplain, Michael Nicosia. At the end of September he was ordained a priest in Denver, Co. We wish we could have been there to cheer him on but we’re sure that he will be blessed as he serves God and the church. Mark your calendars and save time on Friday, Dec. 28 so that you can join us in our annual Christmas Hymn Sing. Tim Schramm will preside over organ and piano at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s as we lift our voices in the sounds of the season! Further details can be found at our website (http://www.di-rochester.org/) or by calling the DI Hotline at 585-2345092.

EMPIRE BEARS Wow! What a great time the BEARS had at Image Out. We were the community co-sponsors for Bear City 2. There were a bunch of other great movies with hunky bears in them. Great parties were held to open and close the festival. Seeing friends for 10 days is a great start to fall. Wednesday nights at the Wintonaire, we meet for supper at 6 p.m. We’ve had some big crowds lately, 18 people last week, plus a few others we knew. The Wintonaire is becoming the newest gay restaurant in Rochester! Potlucks continue to be held at the GAGV on second Saturdays at 6:30. Bring a dish, we’ll supply the rest. New friends are always welcome. And don’t forget, there is a BEARnight at the Forum on first Saturdays. We no longer host it, but you’ll find members and friends there.

Photo: Karen Wedge Landry

Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus By Virginia Duffy I am sure many of you have started getting ready for that hectic time of year, the holidays. One of the things I struggle with most at this season is that there are so many fabulous things to do and so little time! Some of our most potentially pleasurable possibilities get lost in the shuffle of expectations, demands and stress. After the holidays we sometimes feel let down and gray with cabin fever, and the Rochester weather doesn’t help most of the time. This year RWCC will help reduce holiday stress and bring more sunshine and light into your life after all the holiday excitement has passed. By converting our December Holiday Concert to a January Sunshine Performance, we hope to give you more opportunity to attend, and at the same time help beat the winter blahs and post-holiday blues. Our concert in January, with its theme of “Here Comes the Sun”, will bring you warmth and feelings of lightness and life. Please come and join us at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 at St. Anne Church at 1600 Mt. Hope Ave., to catch some rays! We will feature some popular well known songs, both old and new (“Blue Skies” and “Dock of the Bay”), an incredibly beautiful song that may be new to you, “Omnia Sol”, which is written both in Latin and English, and “Kake Lambe”, from the sunshine continent of Africa. Please join us for musical sunshine, our annual silent auction and refreshments.

PFLAG During the Rochester Pride Parade this past July, our local PFLAG chapter partnered with Care with PRIDE. Care with PRIDE is an initiative created by Johnson & Johnson Family of Consumer Companies, as a way for PFLAG chapters across the nation to work with Walgreens for their new program, Cultivating Respect: Safe Schools for All. Teri Boerner, a PFLAG mom for many years, worked as a liaison between PFLAG and the organization to ensure that the partnership was a success. We wore Care with PRIDE t-shirts and passed out beads and Walgreen coupons for Johnson & Johnson products as we marched in the parade. Rochester PFLAG received $500 for our participation. For every coupon used, Johnson & Johnson donated a dollar to Cultivating Respect: Safe Schools for All. This is one of many actions that we have recently taken to help LGBT youth. Rochester PFLAG has been working with the Gay Alliance’s Youth Center to create a booster club for parents of LGBT youth, who partake in the program. We meet the second and third Thursday of every month during the youth group meeting. We are also currently planning on facilitating a presentation at Honeoye Falls-Lima High School this coming December.

Rochester Rams M.C.

It is hard to believe that the holiday season will be upon us soon. Warm your heart by helping us help others at our annual Toy Drive. Bring a new unwrapped child’s toy to the Bachelor Forum on Nov. 17 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. We also have a collection box located at Outlandish Video and Gifts and will be collecting toys until Dec. 4 and will then take them to the good folks at the Roosevelt Children’s Center. The Rochester Rams M.C. is Rochester New York’s foremost gay motorcycle & leather club as well as being one of the oldest clubs of its type in the country. All who are interested in the leather club scene are invited to check us out. Our general meeting is open to the public and we meet the Wednesday before bar night at 7:30 p.m.

Meetings are held at our home bar, the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. Our next general meetings will be held on Nov. 14, Dec. 12 and Jan. 16. For more info, visit our website: www.rochesterrams.com.

Rochester Trans Group The Transgender Day of Remembrance on Nov. 20 (which we will now be referring to as the Trans Day of Recognition) has for the past 13 years been marked by solemn memorials, candlelight vigils and even marking chalk outlines on the sidewalks on hundreds of city sidewalks to represent our murdered sisters and brothers. This year we are borrowing an idea from the University of Montana and their Trans group. Here’s a quote from their internet site: “...Perhaps its time to change our focus from the negative aspects of death, and make this a time to recognize the many who are living and fighting for their equality...” So for our meeting on Saturday, Nov. 24, we will be acknowledging those who have died because of hatred of trans people and we will also be celebrating having the gift of being trans! How will we do this? Well, we’ll first meet at the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Community Center and we have invited members of Gay Alliance’s Youth Program, Rainbow SAGE, people from ESPA (Empire State Pride Agenda), NYCLU (New York Civil Liberties Union), and the First Unitarian Church to participate. Then we (with those who want to) will carpool to the corners of Goodman St. and Monroe Ave. and have a peaceful march across both streets, which will be legal because we will only cross when walk signs show we can for 45 minutes to an hour (depending). Then we will return to enjoy a potluck dinner and celebrate the gift of being trans in 2012! Please bring a dish to pass. There will be a traditional Transgender Day of Remembrance on Sunday, Nov. 18 at 3 p.m. Zion Episcopal Church, Palmyra, will host a Trans Day of Remembrance

Memorial Service. There will be a reception afterwards in the Gathering Room. The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus will sing. A representative from the Empire State Pride Agenda will speak about GENDA -- the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act. A podium will be present for attendees to share their own thoughts. Please feel free to RSVP at shaunamarieotoole@yahoo.com or look up Shauna Marie O’Toole on Facebook. We meet in the Gay Alliance’s Community Center, located in the Auditorium Theatre, 875 E Main St., on the last Saturday of each month between 3– 5:30 p.m. Parking is available in the back of the theatre off of Prince St. and College Ave. Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and they have instructions to let you in without paying the parking fee. Our website is: www.rnytg.org.

ROMANS ROchester MAle NaturistS (ROMANS) is a social organization of gay naturists who enjoy camaraderie in the nude. We are gay, bi, and gay-friendly men over the age of twenty-one. We have started out winter cold weather schedule. We will have a gym/swim/ volleyball get together on Nov. 3 at 7 p.m. at a local athletic club. Don’t worry if you are not into swimming or working out -there are many social conversations going on all night long. All are welcome; you don’t have to be a member of Romans to attend. This event is always the first Saturday of the month. Our November club meeting will be on the 17th at 6 p.m. with food and hot tub fun. Most of the club meetings are on the third Saturday of the month. Visit the Romans web site where an application for membership and information about the club is available. http://www. wnyromans.com or E-mail:wnyromans@ yahoo.com, call our message line at 585281-4964 or write ROMANS, PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

The Gay Alliance is seeking a reliable, energetic self-starter to sell Empty Closet advertising for a generous commission. For more information, phone Susan Jordan at 244-9030 or e-mail: susanj@ gayalliance.org

Do Good Work Make Good Money

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment

Local filmmakers Rick Porlier, Becky Lane and Eran David P. Hanlon give Q & A after the Flower City Flicks program. Photo courtesy ImageOut/Matt De Turck

ImageOut’s 20th Anniversary: a spectacular production ImageOut, Rochester’s LGBT Film Festival drew to a close on Sunday, Oct. 14, following 10 days of diverse LGBTthemed film and video programming from around the world, spectacular parties, and special guests. “The so-called New Queer Cinema has come a long way since Rochester’s first LGBT film festival in 1993,” said ImageOut Board Chair Paul Allen. “With the landmark 20th Anniversary ImageOut Film Festival now behind us, we are energized for the next 20 years by the great talent we’ve seen on screen from filmmakers and actors, as well as the groundswell of community support.” The 2012 ImageOut Film Festival ran from Oct. 5 to Oct. 14, and featured 78 films shown in three venues in Rochester (The Little Theatre, The Dryden Theatre at George Eastman House, and The Hubbell Auditorium at the University of Rochester). There were 17 visiting filmmakers and total attendance was just under 6,000, averaging slightly higher than the 2011 Festival. While the festival is over, ImageOut continues to bring world-class entertainment to Rochester courtesy of filmmaker, author, and provocateur John Waters, who will perform his adult-oriented holiday show, “A John Waters Christmas,” at the Hochstein Performance Hall on Sunday, Dec. 16 at 7:30 p.m. The writer and direc-

tor of “Hairspray,” “Pink Flamingos” and “Serial Mom,” among many others, offers his unique take on the holiday, described by the New York Times: “Like a wayward Santa for the Christmas obsessed, legendary filmmaker and raconteur John Waters rides into town on his sleigh full of smut this December spreading yuletide cheer with his critically acclaimed one-man show, A John Waters Christmas.” The 2012 Festival included 10 New York State premieres, such as the Cannes Film Festival selection “Beyond the Walls” and the U.S. mainland premiere of “The Falls”. Other highlights were Sundance film selections “My Best Day,” “Keep the Lights On,” and “Mosquita Y Mari.” “Keep the Lights On” (see review in this issue) has received much national and international press and is a Berlin International Film Festival award winner, along with “Call Me Kuchu,” an important documentary about the oppression faced by gays and lesbians in Uganda. The North American Premiere of the New Zealand documentary film “Intersextion,” about the life experiences of intersex people and featuring Rochester resident Jim Costich, drew a standing ovation from an inspired audience. ImageOut celebrates independent filmmakers with the 12th Annual ImageOut Audience Awards, which are selected by audience ballots provided at every

Film review: Keep the Lights On By L. E. Harvey When I was asked to review a movie at ImageOut, I must admit that I was excited. I’ve been living in the area for just over a year. As out and open as I am, this was the first real LGBT event I had been to since moving to the Rochester area I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the movie, but I hoped for something new, creative, artistic and entertaining. The acting was phenomenal. Each actor portrayed their roles with tremendous depth and raw emotion. Each cast member was believable in their individual roles and as an ensemble. However, I must admit that I was disappointed with the movie itself. I found it to be rather cliché with gratuitous sex and unusual camera angles. While some areas of the story line were rich and deep (battling addiction and even the ever present threat of HIV) and left you begging for more, other areas were incredibly flat and predictable. The story of two men madly in love with each other and themselves, this

Keep the Lights On

movie follows them over nine years of triumphs and tragedies. They deal with real issues as well as each other. Both Eric and Paul learn and grow and change as people and in their careers. They, like any of us, struggle to find the balance between self, profession and marriage. They are bold and fearless as they face themselves, each other and life. You find yourself going through their ups and downs along with them, though the ending falls a little short of the emotional climax deserved after such a film. Overall, it was an interesting film that was very well acted. I do wish the writing had been stronger, but I am very happy for the experience.

screening. Each award winner receives a special 20th Anniversary Award designed by Rochester artist Mark Groaning, along with a certificate of recognition and $500 cash prize. The 2012 Best Independent Narrative Feature Film is “Melting Away” (Namess Ba’geshem) directed by Doron Eran (see review in this issue). The 2012 Best Independent Documentary Feature Film is “I Stand Corrected,” directed by Andrea Meyerson, and the 2012 Best Independent Short Film is “Tsuyako,” directed by Mitsuyo Miyazaki. ImageOut Programming CoChair Michael Gamilla notes, “Audience recognition beyond the applause is very important to filmmakers. We congratulate this year’s award winners and hope this recognition helps them gain distribution for their work.” The 2012 ImageOut Opening Night Party was held at Tilt Night Club and Ultralounge, with live entertainment by Frankie and Jewels Acoustically Speaking, followed by Tilt’s world-class drag show hosted by Samantha Vega and Kyla Minx, with music by DJ MightyMike. Drag superstar Pandora Boxx made a special guest appearance. ImageOut patrons enjoyed chatting with actor Benjamin Weaver and director Rich LeMay, whose “Naked As We Came” was the second sell-out movie of the Festival, following the crowd-pleasing “Cloudburst,” starring Olympia Dukakis. The third sell-out movie of the 2012 Festival was “Bear City 2,” which was followed by a party at The Bachelor Forum, featuring actor Aaron Tone. ImageOut’s Closing Night Ceremony at the Dryden Theater included a standing ovation for Rochester Mayor Tom Richards, whose remarks on social justice struck a chord with the near-capacity audience. The Closing Night Party was at The Memorial Art Gallery, where ImageOut fans closed out the landmark 20th anniversary Festival in style with a JazzAge themed event.

27 2011 and embarked on their nationwide wedding tour. The film goes out of its way to remind its viewers that Dwyer and Mosher are in love, and never hesitates to emphasize the emotional toll that so many weddings can take. However, the most effective scenes to this end are those which are the most candid. When the two men must travel to New Hampshire and Vermont to procure marriage licenses, they get a very late start and their entire plan is put in jeopardy. Recorded only by a handheld camera on the car’s dash, the tension is suffocating. Their stress is compounded by a looming deadline, rush hour traffic, and a woefully unhelpful yet perpetually perky GPS. It is a touching scene -- quite possibly the funniest in the film -- and more so than the testimonials from friends or vows between grooms demonstrates the loving nature of Dwyer’s and Mosher’s union. As the men travel from state to state, we are introduced to their friends and family, many of whom serve as officiants for the ceremonies. In Vermont they are married in a New Age ceremony complete with magnetized rings, crystals, and candles. In New Hampshire, they are wed on a covered bridge and exchange vows pulled from great literary figures. In Iowa, they stand under a chuppah and crush a glass underfoot to cheers of “Mazel tov!” All of this pageantry and exchanging of vows is designed to drive home the central theme of the film: that despite the longevity of their relationship and the depth of their commitment to one another, Dwyer and Mosher are still not equal to their heterosexual peers.

A talk with Married and Counting director Allan Piper: It’s a love story By Ted Elton The 2011 documentary Married and Counting, which was screened at ImageOut last month, opens with the film’s grooms, Patrick Dwyer and Steven Mosher, sitting together in a confessional-style interview. A voice off-screen asks them to divulge their secret to a successful relationship. “Do whatever he says,” quips Dwyer as he gestures to his partner. Mosher feigns surprise and incredulity to which Dwyer responds in kind. It is a well-rehearsed moment in which the subtext could read: “See? We’re just like everyone else.” Thus begins Married and Counting, which follows Dwyer and Mosher in their quest to wed each other in each state that allows same sex marriage. With such a premise it is clear that this film is a political statement, though its creators will remind you that beneath the activism and flashy infographics is a resilient relationship built upon years of commitment. “It’s much more about a love story than about laws and politics,” explains the film’s director, Allan Piper, “but clearly there wouldn’t be a need to do what they’re doing if it weren’t (political to some extent).” Dwyer and Mosher planned to marry in 2011 for their 25th anniversary. Unfortunately, they live in Manhattan, and the necessary legislation was defeated in the New York Senate in 2009, despite a Democratic majority. Unwilling to wait any longer, the two men took action in early

Patrick Dwyer, one of the grooms in “Married and Counting,” at the Q&A session after the screening. Photo: Garnetta Ely

“For a straight couple, one ceremony would take care of everything across the world,” said Piper. “What they were doing was not giving them an across the world, or across the country, or even an across the coast marriage.” The entire concept of the film is extravagant (Mosher’s father calls it an act of “colossal egotism”), and it does nothing to dispel its mantle of heteronormativity. But in the end, through all of the tears and all of the vows and all of the saccharine moments, it successfully makes a case for marriage equality that is both clear and powerful. Dwyer and Mosher are aware that their marriage is still only recognized in a minority of U.S. states, but that the national attitude is rapidly shifting. The idea for the project was born out of frustration with New York for failing to pass same sex marriage in 2009, but by the end of the film, the two are legally married in New York City on the beaches of Coney Island. “It’s amazing to think that in 2004 only a… fringe candidate (Dennis Kucinich) could endorse the position,” said Piper, “and now, this year, to have the sitting President endorse it is just ( Married continues next page)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

(Married from page 27) incredible.” Married and Counting is currently being screened across the country, most notably in the four states that are considering passing or banning same sex marriage this month: Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington.

A talk with Memphis composer David Bryan Memphis composer David Bryan answered some questions about the musical, which is coming on Nov. 27 to the RBTL Auditorium Theatre. You have been with the rock group Bon Jovi for more than 25 years. What do you think is the key to the band’s continued popularity? Writing good songs, making good records, and always giving your all at every live concert. How did you and Joe DiPietro meet and when did you begin collaborating on MEMPHIS? I got Joe’s script from an agent and when I read it, I immediately loved the story and I heard all the music in my head. I know that last part sounds a little crazy, but what’s there now on stage is what I heard. I called up Joe and introduced myself, and when we got together it was magic. We work very well together. Joe is a great collaborator. What attracted you to write the musical MEMPHIS? The story. It’s an epic American tale about the birth of rock & roll, I just love that we not only portray one of the first white DJs to integrate the radio, but we also dramatize an interracial love story (when it was against the law in many states to have a interracial marriage). Ultimately, it’s a story about how music helped bring about social change, and how this music helped bring people together. During all the years it took for MEMPHIS to get to Broadway, what compelled you to continue with the process? It’s not a sprint but a marathon! Every time we did a production, we worked on the show and we learned where it was and where we had to take it. A musical is very complicated. You have to create story, songs, and dance, and they all have to work together. The fine-tuning process happens in front of an audience and that takes many, many hours to get right. But it was easy to persist, because I always believed that MEMPHIS is a show that entertains and tells an important Ameri-

can story How is writing song for a rock band different than writing songs for a Broadway musical? In a rock band, you’re just writing for the voice of the lead singer. In a musical, you have many different characters you have to make sing. Still, ultimately a good song is a good song. How did you get involved with writing the music for the off-Broadway hit Toxic Avenger? Joe called me up with the idea. We were on a break from MEMPHIS, so we started to write Toxic Avenger. We began it as a bit of a lark, but it kept getting funnier and better and we wound up writing a show that audiences really seem to love. Can you describe why Broadway musicals are so difficult to write? There are so many parts and it takes a lot of time to get them to work together. And you have to get it right before you get to Broadway. Joe and I work like crazy to make sure it’s as good as we can make it. With MEMPHIS, we put together a great creative team and we had the good fortune of working with great producers. And in the end we have a multiple awardwinning show because of it. But man, we worked hard. Who were your influences in writing the rock score for MEMPHIS? I grew up playing in clubs with bands that played those Memphis-influenced songs, so it was in my blood. It was a very special time in music. Name some of your favorite ‘50s songs and why they are your favorites? There are too many songs to name, but I am always struck by how much joy and hope there is in that music. It was the beginning of social change in America -and music was at the forefront. You have won many honors as a rock musician, including winning a Grammy Award. How was the Tony® awards presentation different than the Grammy Awards? The three Tony® awards I won are unbelievably special. It was a long road with MEMPHIS, but I always believed in our show. To be honored and welcomed by the Broadway community for my work feels great. And it is just the start. Joe and I have a new show in the works called Chasing The Song (about American songwriters from 1962-1964). We’ll continue to create new works for a long time. Have you always been a fan of Broadway musicals? If so, what’s your favorite I didn’t see a lot of musicals growing

AstroDance

up. I saw Fiddler on the Roof and really liked it. The songs and the stories were interwoven perfectly. Have members of Bon Jovi seen MEMPHIS? If so, what was the reaction to your music and the show? Yes they have. They LOVED the show. As you were writing the score did you play the music for the other members of Bon Jovi, to get their feedback? No I didn’t. I wanted to wait for them to see it on Broadway. Can you describe a most enjoyable part of writing a Broadway musical? There are so many phases a show goes through and I love them all. It starts with Joe and me in a room, then we add actors for a reading, then we add a director, choreographer and creative team to put a production on stage. Then we’ll try out the show with a few out-of-town productions before we bring it to Broadway. And all this time, we’re constantly tinkering with every aspect of the show. We don’t stop until we feel we’ve gotten it right. Or, as I like to say, until we no longer feel as if we’ve gotten anything wrong. Why do you think fans of rock and roll, people who might have never even seen a Broadway musical, would love MEMPHIS? It’s an important American story that celebrates what we have in common as human beings rather than what separates us. And it ROCKS! What new musical are you and MEMPHIS collaborator Joe DiPietro working on now? Joe and I have a new original show in the works called Chasing The Song. It’s about American songwriters from 1962-1964 based on the songwriters who worked in the Brill Building. It’s a fictional story about factual America. We’ve already written a bunch of songs and have a great script. We’re at the beginning where it’s just Joe and me in the room, but soon we’ll be ready to get to the next stage of development. We’re looking forward to creating and building a brand new work.

Warfield’s “AstroDance” is a hit at Fringe Fest

Second Annual Self Made Men Calendar is here

The Self Made Men are back with a 2013 calendar for every wall, desk, and office. The models were chosen from submissions from readers and exemplify everything The Self Made Men stand for. The calendar benefits the transmale community, and other communities at large, by serving as a positive example of trans culture and as an educational tool. This year, the layout includes one large, GQ-esque “cover photo” along with a “before” and “after” photo of that month’s model, and their personal bio. Each month, The Self Made Men will conduct an interview with that month’s calendar model and it will be available on their website. You can order your calendars now at http://theselfmademen.com/ and they will arrive just in time for the holidays! ■

By Susan Jordan Thomas Warfield, who teaches dance at RIT/NTID and is founder of PeaceArt International, has choreographed a dance with a grant from the National Science Foundation. His RIT dancers performed “AstroDance” successfully at the Fringe Festival in September, and it is now going on a national tour, returning here for a performance on May 4. Why would the National Science Foundation give a grant to a choreographer? It is a long story, beginning with Thomas Warfield’s encounter with the late astrophysicist Carl Sagan in Santa Cruz, Calif. in the ‘90s. Sagan, who was involved with SETI and the search for extraterrestrial life, wondered if dance has a language that permeates earth’s electromagnetic field in such a way that listening intelligences might be able to interpret or connect with it.

Thomas Warfield

Thomas Warfield was dancing with the Tandy Beal company in Santa Cruz at the time, and they performed at a SETI conference. No extraterrestrials dialed in, but afterwards Thomas was interested in the topic. He says, “That prompted me to explore quantum physics, because (Sagan) was talking about the connection of all things on the subatomic level. It resonated with me, so I did a lot of reading and got involved with informal groups in NYC, which were exploring the links between spirituality and science. That all stayed in the back of my mind, but when I came back to Rochester and became a professor at RIT, the connection between art and technology became important to me.” Thomas collaborated with department heads at RIT in his choreography for his students, and used a robot and multimedia of various kinds. “One work I did had sets that were animated. I created the character of a unicorn and it started out as an animated unicorn, and then it emerged from the animation and became a real dancer disguised as a unicorn. Another year we used technology to make the dancers ‘fly’. “Over the years I’ve tried to incorporate technology – I’m surrounded by it at RIT. About five years ago I went to a conference at City University of New York (CUNY) about science and art and was blown away. People from all over the country had been doing music, plays and visual art – but there was no dance. I was inspired by this and went to the head of RIT’s College of Science, and he thought astrophysics would be a perfect idea. I had dinner with astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and he was interested. The Dean of the College of Science sent me to Manuela Campanelli, a professor of astrophysics at RIT, and I told her I had seen simulations of black holes merging, and the gravitational waves looked like choreography. She said that as a young girl she had wanted to be a ballerina, and I took this as a sign that we should collaborate to use dance as an expression of the concept of black holes merging in space and taking galaxies with them.” Several years later Thomas had created a preliminary dance called “Event Horizon,” which was performed at Ithaca’s

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Mary Moore shows work at Equal=Grounds The Gallery @ Equal=Grounds is please to present “Pieces of Me”, New Work by Mary Moore, in November. Mary Moore is a young and talented artist with a zest for life and for her work. Bold brush strokes, vibrant colors and a feeling of movement flow through Mary’s work. Mary was recently nominated for City Newspaper’s Best of 2012, in the artist category.

Light & Winter Festival in 2009. Thomas said, “It was kind of a pilot to see what we could do with this. I had to get in the studio and experiment.” With the aid of scientists who walked him through the math, non-scientist Thomas found “The more they explained it, the more it made sense – not in a scientific way but from my own experience of how things are interdependent and interwoven.” The concept that we are all made up of tiny dancing subatomic particles, which are in constant motion, got Thomas excited. “Once she saw the pilot, Manuela thought we could get a National Science Foundation grant. I thought that was really out there. But they do have an education component and we thought we could teach basic astrophysics using the bodies of dancers.” Their first grant application in 2010 was rejected, but they got good feedback from the review panel. Thomas consulted Dr. Hans-Peter Bischof who produces animated galactic images, and set designer Eron Auble, among others, to get different points of view. They got the grant in fall 2011 and Thomas completed “AstroDance.” He said, “The focus is to implement basic concepts of astrophysics with a focus on deaf and hard of hearing students. This is key because this is an underserved population by science, and so this made the project unique.” The national tour starts this month and runs through next June, covering nine or ten cities, mostly along the east coast, with a NYC performance in April 2013 at CUNY grad center. “We premiered it at the Fringe Festival here,” Thomas said, “and it was very well received by a diverse audience of 300. There is a narrator who acts as a sort of science teacher and explains verbally and in ASL the journey the audience is taking through the performance. There is interaction between scientists and dancers, with the audience in this ongoing collaboration. For me, this brings all the things I love together at once. The dance is a conduit to the science and the science connects to the universe. It’s not just teaching of science or even the beauty of dance, but that each of us contributes to the totality of what is.”

Book review: The Godfather’s Daughter By Susan Jordan Families can be dysfunctional. And some families really put the “funk” in “dysfunctional.” Like the Gigante family – and the Genovese crime family. Rita Gigante was born the youngest child of legendary mob lord Vincenzo “Chin” Gigante. He was the head of the Genovese crime family and also head of the commission of New York’s Five Fami-

lies – the “boss of all bosses”. In order to avoid arrest he pretended to be insane and wandered the streets of Little Italy in a ratty black bathrobe, talking to parking meters. (No novelist could make this stuff up.) Young Rita often accompanied him, holding his arm as if he needed guidance and support. She did not live in Manhattan with him and her devout grandmother (“Gram Crackers”), however. Rita lived in suburban New Jersey with her mother, who she had to support emotionally and “take care of,” and just visited Chin’s grim apartment once a week. She loved her emotionally distant, intimidating father, but sensed secrets that were never spoken aloud. As a small child hiding under the dining room table one day, she witnessed his brutal, perhaps fatal beating of a mobster who had incurred his wrath. Sadly, no one was taking care of Rita. She grew up with terrible anxiety attacks, depression and other emotional and physical problems, none of which doctors could explain. As she got older, she finally learned from a relative the truth about her father’s criminal life. Then she learned another, equally devastating fact about his life – he had a secret second family. And to top it all off, Rita knew that she was really a lesbian. Not exactly something that went over well with Chin. “It’s just a phase,” he told her. And to keep his love – and avoid his fearsome brutality – she pretended to agree. “The Godfather’s Daughter” describes how she came to terms with all of these realities. Gradually she was able to have relationships with women and to become a masseuse and “spiritual healer”. She also says that she reached an accord with her father, after he went to jail and ultimately confessed that he had never been mentally ill. She wrote him a letter saying that she was able to forgive him and that she loved him, and he apparently responded affectionately via her mother. He died in prison in 2005. And then he appeared again… her girlfriend at the time and a psychic friend both saw Chin in ghost or spirit form, and told Rita he was trying to get in touch, he loved her, etc. – the things Rita had always wanted to hear. Rita (through her ghostwriter, ironically enough) writes that she feels her father in spirit form is now working with her in her spiritual healing… assisted from time to time by Jesus, the Virgin Mary and various angels who also appear to Rita and her friends, reflected in shower stall doors, glass doors of kitchen cabinets, etc. Rita and Chin are now a father-daughter spiritual healing team. Rita seems to have adjusted as best she could to the incredible pressures of her unusual life, with the help of therapy – the amazing thing is that she adjusted at all and is not dead or institutionalized today. Instead her massage treatments apparently help people and she lives happily with her female partner. A comingout story with a difference! The Godfather’s Daughter by Rita Gigante with Natasha Stoynoff. NY: Hay House, 2012, 265 pp. hardbound, $24.95

Film review: Melting Away By Arnie Matlin “Namess Ba’geshem,” directed by Doron Eran, is an Israeli movie shown in the U.S. as “Melting Away” (2012). The movie dramatizes the rejection and stigmatization of transsexuals and transpeople, and the obstacles they face in simply trying to lead a normal existence. Assaf is a transsexual teenager, whose parents discover his secret, and literally lock him out of his home. Assaf’s father Schlomo (Ami Weinberg) is the perpetrator of this horrific act, but his mother Gayla (Limor Goldstein) is passively complicit. Several years pass and Schlomo is diagnosed as having terminal cancer. Gayla hires a private detective to find Assaf, who has disappeared from their lives. The detective finds Assaf, but now she is the beautiful nightclub singer Anna.

Travel

Michele Balan. Photo: Merle Exit

Homo Comicus at Gotham Comedy Club By Merle Exit Gotham Comedy Club, located at 208 W. 23rd St. in Manhattan, is host to a comedy night called Homo Comicus, a group of gay and gay-friendly comics. The man behind this stand-up showcase, Bob Montgomery, has been producing it for more than ten years. At this particular show, the featured artists were Caroline Rhea, Jackie Hoffman, Michele Balan and Jackson Ross Best, Jr. Bob Montgomery does some shtick but mostly introduces the acts, who appeared to have timed slots. The first comic to perform was not on the bill and I’m sorry to say that I never got her last name. That’s too bad because she was funny. Her humor focused much on her marriage… to a man. I did remember one line as she was joking about her ring. “White gold is forever”. Jackson Ross Best, Jr. followed. His focus was on the NYC boroughs and the NYU Medical Center cafeteria. Up came Michele Balan who has been performing for quite a long time, especially within the LGBT community. Balan, like all of the comics that evening, worked off the audience: “You know you have a cocaine problem when you start cutting the Sweet ‘N Low.” That was one line I remembered. Another had to do with performing in Florida, particularly to the senior groups. “I have a lot of fans in Florida that die when I’m on stage.” She also joked about her appearances on cruise ships. Check out her career… google her name. Jackie Hoffman. You know her from

The plot revolves around the attempts at reconciliation among father, mother, and child as Schlomo’s cancer progresses. There’s a secondary plot involving two of Anna’s gay friends, and the attempt of one of them to inform his mother that he and his friend are a gay couple. The acting in this movie is excellent, although when Anna is on the screen, it’s hard to notice anyone else. The actor portraying Anna is the extremely beautiful international model Hen Yanni. She has the strong features that characterize many models, so it’s believable that Anna started life as a man. However, the film might have been more interesting if director Eran had chosen a trans person to play the role of Asaf/ Anna. Hen Yanni is a serious actor, not just a beautiful one. Casting her in the

Broadway having major roles in Xanadu, Hairspray, and The Addams Family. There is a long description of her career in movies and television as well. Hoffman has been known to do her own show portraying herself as a “Jewish Princess” and joking about her mother. “When she says, ‘Could I say something?’ it means, ‘I’m going to say something.’” She is quite the funny one, especially when it comes to facial expressions. The final comic was Caroline Rhea, known for portraying the aunt on the television show “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” Caroline had much to say about her marriage and three-year old daughter. There was much exchange with her and the audience. I love her humor. It’s “observational”, if you know what I mean. So, I’m sitting there taking photos. No flash and no video. I’m just trying to get some good shots for the newspaper. Caroline sees the camera and finally asks if this is going to be on Youtube as well as inviting me to take photos with her after the show. Then I said, “It’s Merle here.” “Merle! How long has it been?” I told her that the last time I saw her was when she was in an off-Broadway show, which was ten years ago. Frankly, I didn’t expect her to recognize me as she doesn’t look as if she aged ten years, and I do! I brought her some Scharffen Berger chocolates since I first met her at one of the annual Chocolate Shows where she was taping for her television show. I’m not going to get into her appearance at Comix in 2009. I highly suggest that you google this! Absolutely hilarious, especially a bit regarding the movie The Sound of Music. ■

starring role made artistic and commercial sense. Still, the movie would have been more compelling if the audience could have seen a true trans woman in the role. The film won the Best Independent Narrative Feature Film award at the firstrate ImageOut — the Rochester LGBT Film and Video Festival.

Miss Gay Rochester pageant set for Nov. 18 It’s time again for glitter and glamour -- Miss Gay Rochester 2013 will be chosen on Nov. 18. The pageant will take place at Harro East, 155 N. Chestnut St. Doors open at 6 p.m.; the pageant starts at 7 p.m. For ticket information, call Liza at 285-0119.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.gayalliance.org

Gay Alliance Youth Program The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to: Explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun!

Gay Alliance Volunteerof-the-Month: JoAnne Metzler Congratulations to JoAnne Metzler for being chosen as the Gay Alliance Volunteer-of-the-Month. JoAnne has been the behind-thescenes coordinator of the Rochester Trans Group for over a year now. She takes care of program scheduling, write ups for the Empty Closet and communication with members. JoAnne was an integral part of the successful “Meeting of the Groups” last April, which brought together transgender groups, individuals and allies from all over upstate New York. JoAnne recently helped Kelly Clark give the Gay Alliance Community Room a facelift, by using her office space organizational skills. She also joins us in the office twice a week to help us answer phone calls and do office tasks, making it much easier for the Gay Alliance staff to get our work done! Thank you to Joanne from the staff and board at the Gay Alliance for all of your hard work, energy and commitment. You are a superstar!

WANDA SYKES VISITS YOUTH GROUP: Comedian Wanda Sykes dropped by the GAGV Youth Center when she was in town to perform on Oct. 5. Above: with Kelly Clark.

On-line Resource

Wed./Thursdays: 3:30-7:30pm Fridays: 7-9pm Coming Out/Being Out Support Group Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm (13-18 yrs old) Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm (13-18 yrs old) Remix Young Adult Support Group Fridays 5-6pm (18-20 yrs old) Gay Alliance Community Center Auditorium Theater Bldg, First Floor, 875 E. Main St, Rochester Phone: 585-244-8640 Check out our calendar for weekly programs descriptions and special events: www.gayalliance.org/events/youth

The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD) The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at www.GayAlliance.org.

D GAR

Gay Alliance Youth Program Reunion!

The Gay Alliance celebrates 40 years in 2013 ! It’s the perfect excuse for a reunion!

Friday, January 4, 2013 - 7-9pm Did you attend Gay Alliance Youth Group or other youth programing as a teen? You’re invited to our January Friends and Family Night for a Reunion Party! Come on down! Catch up with friends you haven’t seen in a while. Meet today’s teen participants and reminisce on the “good old days.” Tickets $10 and available on line at: www.gayalliance.org

The Gay Alliance Library has internet access available during library hours: Monday and Wednesday: 6-8pm The computers are part of our David Bohnett Cyber Center

Speaking Engagements September engagements omitted from October EC: 9/25 LGBT Issues at LifeSpan Eldersource 9/30 LGBT Senior Issues at Dignity/ Integrity October: 10/2 LGBT History: Formation of the Gay Alliance at the Gay Alliance 10/4 Family Health and Fitness Fair at Fair and Expo Center 10/11 Coming Out Day Presentation at RIT 10/11 Rape Crisis Management at Rape Crisis Service 10/13 LGBT/Ally Empowerment @ Children’s Mental Health Coalition Conf. 10/15 LGBT Workplace Issues at Rochester Plaza Hotel 10/16 Educating Others on LGBT Issues at University of Rochester 10/16 LGBT History at University of Rochester 10/17 Practicing Your Personal Story at Gay Alliance 10/22 LGBT Inclusive Spaces at Consumer Credit Counseling 10/24 LGBT Issues in Social Work at Nazareth College 10/24 Guest Author Presentation: Cheryl Kilodavis at SUNY Geneseo 10/30 SafeZone Training at St. John Fisher College 10/31 Advanced SafeZone Training at St. John Fisher College From a local college professor following classroom presentation in October: “I was very impressed with the speakers. Both speakers were very approachable and open to discussion. This really made the students feel comfortable and open to learning more about LGBT bias. You chose the perfect speakers for this class. Usually, they are very quiet, but I think the personality mix of the two speakers allowed them to open up and ask questions. It was a great discussion. After their presentation we continued the conversation and I found that they were more open to it. So, it was just what they needed to see the impact on them as educators. The work that you do is extremely important as it will impact the lives of many students. Thank you!”

Kellie Ronald,

thank you for your amazing work in organizing the Gay Alliance DinesOUT event.

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. • Address: 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Hours: Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Web: www.gayalliance.org Board Co-Presidents: Emily Jones, Bruce Gorman • Education and Outreach Director: Scott Fearing • Business Manager: Joanne Giuffrida • Director of Intergenerational Programs: Kelly Clark • Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg • The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan • Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org

Rainbow SAGE news for november 2012

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

SAGE PAGE

Have you visited Rainbow SAGE at the Center?

October marked six months of senior programming at the Gay Alliance Community Center. Since May 2012, we have been open from 11 a.m.- 3 p.m. every Monday and Tuesday. We have hosted educational presentations that have helped participants learn about everything from Alzheimer’s to downsizing your home. We have celebrated birthdays together, watched movies together and played games. We have gone on outings together -- a boat ride, a hay ride, lunch at Barnes and Noble, and more. Have you participated in Rainbow SAGE at The Center? Don’t miss out on what’s coming up next. Grab a friend and come on down!

Show tunes anyone?

We’re toasting the start of the holiday season with a “Mock”tail Cabaret! Sip a delicious non-alcoholic cherry bomb or red apple sangria while enjoying the baritone vocals of Christopher Hennely. Sure to be a good time with musical theater faves, lots of laughs and good company. Save the date: Rainbow SAGE at The Center, Nov. 20 at 1 p.m. RSVP by Nov. 14 to (585)244-8640 x31 or sage@gayalliance.org.

November Birthday Bash

Calling all November babies! We’re having a party! Our records indicate there are a lot of November babies out there, so we’re inviting you to be our special guests at our November Birthday Bash on Nov. 27. Friends, family and caregivers are invited to gather ‘round and celebrate another year -- healthy, wealthy and wise! Everyone leaves with birthday favors and of course, a birthday treat! RSVP by Nov. 19 to (585) 244-8640 x31 or sage@ gayalliance.org.

NEW Intergenerational Thanksgiving Potluck!

Last year the Gay Alliance Youth and Rainbow SAGE each had a Thanksgiving potluck program at the same time, on the same day but in separate locations. Surely something was overlooked! So this year our annual Thanksgiving Potluck will be all the richer with the addition of Gay Alliance

Youth, plus the Rochester Trans Group. Join us for the biggest, bestest potluck of the year! Please bring a side dish or dessert to share and we’ll supply the turkey -- gobble, gobble! It’s happening Saturday, Nov. 24, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St, Rochester 14605. RSVP greatly appreciated so we can plan for food. (585) 244-8640 x31 or sage@gayalliance.org.

National Transgender Day of Recognition

The Rochester Trans Group has invited us to join in the celebration of our Trans friends and family on Saturday, Nov. 24 from 3-4:30 p.m. before our Thanksgiving potluck. We will meet at the Gay Alliance Community Center and move as a group to the corner of Goodman St. and Monroe Ave. We will march together through the crosswalks with signs of hope, encouragement and celebration. Together we will bring visibility to the Trans community in Rochester. We will meet back at the Community Center to prepare for our Thanksgiving Potluck with renewed hope, new friends and more to be thankful for! A Transgender Day of Remembrance service will take place on Nov. 18 at Zion Episcopal Church in Palmyra – see article on page 1.

Fourth Annual Sage Euchre Tournament

By Ginny Dekin September 23 found 28 eager euchre players hoping to win one of the three money prizes at the SAGE Euchre Tournament. Temple B’rith Kodesh is a wonderful venue – comfortable chairs,

Rainbow SAGE cruised the Genesee on Sept. 25. Photo: Kelly Clark

pleasant view. Many thanks to the many people who helped carry in coolers, pass out supplies and collect them. And a special thanks to Sherlea D. for doing the timing! Drum roll please: the winners were Rose M., Marge S. and Josie M. On a separate note, the monthly euchre meeting is suspended until further notice as a chairperson is needed.

SAGE fall dance takes place on Nov. 3

Rainbow SAGE will host its Fall Community Dance on Saturday, Nov. 3 at the Roger Robach Community Center, 180 Beach Ave. in Charlotte. The dance will run from 5-10 p.m. and is drug and alcohol-free. Food and beverages will be available and there will be an “awesome raffle.” Advance tickets are $10 and can be purchased at Equal=Grounds and Outlandish. Admission at the door is $12. For more information, call 872-2631. ■

Rainbow SAGE at the Center

TRUE LOVE: Rainbow SAGE members met up with some “therapy animals” from Lollipop Farm on Sept. 24. They included dogs, a rabbit and a rather distinguished guinea pig. Photos: Susan Jordan

November Calendar

The Center is open for adults 50+ Mondays and Tuesdays 11am-3pm. Internet access, Billiards. Library open Mondays 1-3 pm. November November November November November November November November

3.........5-10pm..... Rainbow SAGE Fall Dance at Roger Robach Center, 180 Beach Ave. 6.........1pm.......... Movie and popcorn 13.......1pm.......... Consumer Credit Counseling of Rochester on Your Credit Report Presentation 19.......1pm.......... Hearing Loss Prevention Presentation 20.......1pm.......... “Mock”tail Cabaret 24.......5:30pm..... Intergenerational Thanksgiving Potluck 26.......1pm.......... Name That Tune! 27.......1pm.......... November Babies Birthday Bash

*Activities are subject to change. Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E, Main Street, 1st floor (585) 244-8640

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

Resources

TRANSGENDER

Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar). Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Senior Center Mon-Tues 11am-3pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor, 244-8640; kellyc@ gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: Third Sunday of the month, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 14624. 1-3pm. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27. Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529. Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance. Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS

Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

AIDS Care AIDS Care is the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. AIDS Care satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www.acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-4545556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay. Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520. MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400. Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 9625063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876. Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon. 315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7:30pm, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St. first floor. Ages 13-18. 244-8640; kellyc@gayalliance.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Transgender online: Transenough.com; www.endtransdiscrimination.org; genderfork.com; www.transgendercare.com; International Foundation for Gender Education Gender Education and Advocacy http://www.gender.org/; FTM Information Network http://www.ftminfo.net/; Transgender at Work http://www.tgender.net; PFLAG Transgender Network http://community.pflag.org/ page.aspx?pid=380; TransActive http://www. transactiveonline.org; The Transitional Male http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/; National Center for Transgender Equality http://transequality.org/; New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy http://www.nyagra.com/; Transgender Aging Network http://forge-forward.org/aging/; Transgender Law Center http://transgenderlawcenter.org; Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund http://transgenderlegal.org/; The Self Made Men http:// theselfmademen.webs.com/ (please send us your favorite sites/groups) Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women’s health

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs, support services free. Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. GAGV Anti Violence Referrals 585-244-8640 ext 19. For women and men. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Monday

L.O.R.A. – Late Bloomers Group 4th Monday. For women who are just coming out! 6:30pm – 9pm, FREE. Various different areas! Private Location – call to get address: Cathie, 585.313.3037; ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; www.l-o-r-a.com

Occupy Rochester M-F, 4-6 pm, at the Liberty Pole. Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group, Mondays, 7pm, 140 Alex Bar. To reserve space: 467-6456; bdaniels@frontiernet.net. Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220. Rainbow SAGE Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 1-3pm; 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds. 426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Tuesday

L.O.R.A. – Knitters Group 3rd Tuesday. Everyone Welcome! 7– 10pm. FREE. Private Location – call to get address in Hamlin. Cathie: 585.313.3037; ctimian@l-o-r-a. com; www.l-o-r-a.com

Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. 2nd Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org. Rainbow SAGE Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday L.O.R.A. – Cards Night 2nd Wednesdays – Everyone Welcome! 7pm – 10pm FREE – except Poker – $5 suggested donation. Various different areas! – call Cathie, 585.313.3037; ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; www.l-or-a.com

U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com

Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com. Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Wednesdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursday

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Gay Alliance Youth Thursdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Coming Out Being Out Youth Support Group 6:30-7:30pm; ages 13-18 Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7pm, Ages 13-18, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com

FRIDAY

L.O.R.A. Foodies Group Monthly Potluck. 2nd Friday, 6– 9pm. FREE – Bring a dish to pass! Various different areas! – call to get address! Cathie: 585.313.3037; ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; www.l-o-r-a.com

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net. GAGV Remix Young Adult Support Group Ages 18-20. 5-6pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor. Prince St. entrance, 244-8640, kellyc@ gayalliance.org L.O.R.A. Potluck & Games Night Fourth Fridays. GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor 6-9:30pm, 585-313-3037; E-mail: info@l-o-r-a.com. http://www.facebook.com/L.O.R.A.14464; www.l-o-r-a.com Womyn’s Drum Circle Fourth Fridays. 6-9:30pm, GAGV Youth Center; E-mail: info@womynsdrumcircle.org; Website: www.womynsdrumcircle.org.

SATURDAY

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org. Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, Youth Center, 875 E. Main, 1st floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys. 1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sunday

ComeoutDancin’ First & Third Sundays. 3pm - 5pm, The Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St., entry on Charlotte St. Admission $5. L.O.R.A. GLBT Sunday Brunch 1st & 3rd Sundays – Everyone Welcome! 11:30am-2pm. $11.95/person. Golden Ponds Restaurant, 500 Long Pond Rd. Info: Cathie, 585.313.3037; ctimian@l-o-r-a.com Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) 3rd Sundays, 1-3pm. Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 244-8640 x 27; pflag@gayalliance.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives Sunday hours ended. Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm. Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion. Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012

November 2012 SATURDAY 3

Rainbow SAGE Fall Community Dance. 5-10 pm, Roger Robach Community Center, 180 Beach Ave., Charlotte. Alcohol and drug-free. $10 advance (Outlandish, Equal=Grounds); $15 at door. 872-2631.

SUNDAY 4

ComeoutDancin’. Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Charlotte Street across from the East End Garage), between 3-5 p.m. Admission is $5. All welcome. comeoutdancin@gayalliance. org or 585-436-9526 Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. (http:// www.di-rochester.org/) or DI Hotline, 585-234-5092.

TUESDAY 6

Election Day. It’s your country… it’s your civil rights… it’s your life. Get OUT and vote!

FRIDAY 9

SpeakOut training. 6-9 pm, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor. Open to all. Learn to educate about LGBT issues in useful and productive ways. $50/person, scholarships available. Presenters Scott Fearing, Jeanne Gainsburg. Information: www. gayalliance.org/speakout.html

SATURDAY 10

SpeakOut training. 9 am-5 pm. Lunch included. Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor. Open to all. Learn to educate about LGBT issues in useful and productive ways. Presenters Scott Fearing, Jeanne Gainsburg. $50/person, scholarships available. Information: www.gayalliance.

org/speakout.html

SUNDAY 11

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. (http:// www.di-rochester.org/) or DI Hotline, 585-234-5092. Treaty Day, Canandaigua. Observance of 1794 Treaty between the US and the Six Nations. 1 pm parade down Main St., Ceremony at Treaty Rock in front of court house followed by dinner, social dancing at Gibson St. school.

TUESDAY 13

Just Us Guys. 6 pm, AIDS Care, lower level conference room. Bruce Woolley gives talk on WE magazine. Ron at 729-2259 or email rmatter1@rochester. rr.com.

FRIDAY 14

Empty Closet deadline for Dec-Jan. issue. 244-9030 or susanj@gayalliance. org.

SATURDAY 17

Rochester Rams. Toy Drive 2012 begins. Bring a new unwrapped child’s toy to the Bachelor Forum from 9 pm to 2 am. Collection box at Outlandish until Dec. 4.

SUNDAY 18

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. (http://www.di-rochester.org/) or DI Hotline, 585-234-5092. Trans Day of Remembrance service. Zion Episcopal Church, Palmyra. 3 pm. RSVP at shaunamarieotoole@yahoo.com or find the event on Facebook. ComeoutDancin’. Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Char-

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for ages 5 to 12. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m., 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc. org; (585)271-8478

SERVICES

Wedding space and clergy services available. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. oamcc@frontiernet.net. (585) 271-8478. Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction. Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Dis-

cretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com. Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting & Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year round and gutter cleaning in the spring or fall. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com. Martin Ippolito master electrician. Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585-266-6337. World renowned weddings. 42 years performing same sex commitments, now marriages (it’s about time!). Nancy BB Meyer minister, God is Love-Animals are Angels ministry. 585-733-6213. Piano lessons, all ages and levels. Are you getting married? I’d love to play for your event. Contact Frank Verna III, (585)5446799, frankmelisma@yahoo.com.

lotte St. across from East End Garage), between 3-5 p.m. Admission is $5. All welcome. Information: comeoutdancin@ gayalliance.org or 585-436-9526. Miss Gay Rochester 2013 pageant. Harro East. Doors open 6 pm; pageant 7 pm. For information, call Liza, 285-0119.

SATURDAY 24

Rochester Trans Group. 3 pm. Meet at GAGV Community Center, car pool to Monroe & Goodman for Trans Day of Recognition march. Return to Center for Thanksgiving dinner with Youth Group and SAGE. (More information page 25).

SUNDAY 25

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Supper. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. (http:// www.di-rochester.org/) or DI Hotline, 585-234-5092.

FRIDAY 30

Rochester AIDS Awareness Weekend kicks off. Runs through Dec. 2. Information: facebook.com/doingthepositivething

COMING UP IN DECEMBER (SAVE THE DATE):

Dec. 12: ROC the Day: Give to the charity of your choice: 800-242-0238. Dec. 14, 15: Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holiday concert: “Joyful and Triumphant” at Hochstein. Dec. 16: A John Waters Christmas, hosted by ImageOut at Hochstein. Dec. 31: Gay New Year’s Gala at Staybridge Suites, 1000 Genesee St. See the Dec.-Jan. Empty Closet for details on these events and more! ■

St. Mary’s Catholic Church 15 St. Mary’s Place 585-232-7140 www.stmarysrochester.org Liturgies: Saturday: 4pm; Sunday: 10:30am

NOVEMber 2012 • number 462 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Bed & Breakfast

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month. Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester 14624 from 1 to 3pm. Join us! Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 462 • NOVEMber 2012