Empty Closet Dec '12/ Jan '13

The Empty Closet

The Gay Alliance Annual Meeting 6pm, December 12 Auditorium Center, 4th Floor 875 E. Main Street, Rochester, New York

local, state and national news , newsmaker interviews , opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars , and health resource listings

number 463

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley

DEC-JAN 2013

NYS Assemblyman and Monroe County Democratic Chair Joe Morelle introduces Louise Slaughter on election night.

Bronson Breezes To Victory: NYS Assemblyman Harry Bronson addresses supporters on election night. Standing near Bronson are his campaign manager and chief of staff Allan Richards and legislative aide Jen Skoog-Harvey. Photos: Ove Overmyer

Election 2012 makes history for gays, women The first gay rights march in Rochester, 1973. Inset: The original Empty Closet logo, by Sean O’Driscoll.

Look who’s forty and fabulous!

Gay Alliance celebrates four decades of service

By Joe Nardone It’s hard to believe that 2013 will mark the fortieth year since the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley officially opened its doors! As the first Rochesterarea organization to take a stand for LGBT rights and provide a safe and inclusive environment for LGBT teens and adults, the GAGV is standing tall and proud with much to celebrate!

In honor of our birthday and in an effort to keep our doors open for another 40 years, we’re initiating a very special way for you to help celebrate with us -all year long.

It’s our Forty & Fabulous Fundraiser!

Be among 40 individuals or teams who will each adopt their favorite year – starting from 1973 through 2013 – and each help raise $4,000. Our overall agency goal is to raise $160,000

Gay alliance PARTNERSHIPS The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

Silver Level

Empowering pride for 40 years.

in 2013 so we can continue to provide youth and senior programming, education, community safety, referral resources, and be the leading voice for Rochester’s LGBT communities.

The excitement is already building – as we’re going to press, we already have over 15 individuals who committed to their favorite years!

How does it work exactly?

The Development Committee of the Board of Directors is eagerly seeking individuals and/or team leaders who will adopt their year and start raising funds. If you haven’t heard from a committee member already and you’re interested in participating, don’t hesitate to contact us at fortyandfabulous@gayalliance.org. We’d love to have you!

We will utilize the First Giving Page format since this is such an easy way to raise money and support. In fact, we nearly doubled our goal when we used this format for our Youth Camp this past summer!

Whether you adopt a year all to yourself as a sole contributor, or lead a team of contributing donors for your favorite year, you have all year to raise the money.

And not only will you help raise the much needed funds for the agency, but you’ll also be contributing to the much needed awareness of all the great work GAGV does for Rochester: forty years of empowering pride.

As part of this year-long fundraising celebration, we will feature historical events and people sharing stories to honor the last (Forty continues page 3)

By Ove Overmyer When the state of Ohio finally went blue for Democrat Barack Obama on Election Night, the president cleared the 270-electoral vote hurdle to win his second four-year term. The House of Representatives will remain in Republican hands, and the Senate will keep its Democratic majority.

Despite all the extreme rhetoric in a very nasty political year when over six billion dollars were spent, President Obama was eventually elected by a large margin consisting primarily of young people, Hispanics, blacks, gays and women “micro-targeted” by his effective get out the vote effort in battleground states.

Tammy Baldwin, an out les-

bian Democratic House member from Wisconsin, made history by winning election as the first out LGBT member of the Senate.

More women than ever before were elected to the Senate.

In the Hudson Valley’s 18th congressional district in New York, Democratic challenger Sean Patrick Maloney, an out gay attorney, defeated freshman Republican Nan Hayworth, becoming our state’s first LGBT representative in Washington.

Maloney’s victory in New York was matched in Wisconsin, where out gay State Representative Mark Pocan, a Democrat, has won Baldwin’s current House seat.

Democratic Senate victories

by Baldwin, Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts over incum-

O’Brien heads to Albany: Democratic Monroe County Legislature Minority Leader Ted O’Brien (right) will represent the voters of the newly redrawn 55th Senate District.

bent Scott Brown, former Governor Tim Kaine against former Senator George Allen in Virginia, Congressman Joe Donnelly over Indiana State Treasurer Richard Mourdock, and incumbent Claire McCaskill in her race against Congressman Todd Akin in Missouri guarantee that the Democrats will hold control of the upper chamber on Capitol Hill.

On the west coast, California Congressional candidate Mark Takano became the first openly gay person of color in Congress and bisexual Arizona legislator Kyrsten Sinema beat tremendous odds to take a contentious race (Election continues page 3)

Finger Lakes Out & Equal wins “Outie” affiliate award

By Susan Jordan Five silver “Outie” statuettes were bestowed upon Outie Award winners at the 14th annual Out & Equal Workplace Summit in Baltimore, Maryland. The Out & Equal Finger Lakes chapter won the Regional Affiliate Award, which was accepted by Rochester’s Ralph Carter, Heidi Simmons and Carol Antinore.

Around 1,000 LGBT employees and allies, along with human resources and diversity professionals, many representing Fortune 500 companies, attended the Out & Equal Workplace Summit. The Summit is the leading LGBT professional development conference, equipping attendees with the tools, resources and connections to create equitable and inclusive workplaces for LGBT people.

Individuals and companies are nominated for their demonstrated leadership and diversity programs, which help build workplace cultures of inclusion and equity.

The Regional Affiliate of the Year honor is awarded to a regional affiliate that has demonstrated commitment to the Out & Equal mission through

Bobby Wilkinson, USAA, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates; Heidi Simmons, Ortho-Clinical Diagnostics, a Johnson and Johnson Company and Ralph Carter, Xerox, at the Out & Equal conference in Baltimore.

exceptional programming and sound organizational practices.

The national Out & Equal organization said, “The New York Finger Lakes Regional Affiliate has built impressive coalitions by engaging local companies who are champions of workplace diversity. These coalitions and partners provided the framework for the development of Out & Equal’s very first regional Workplace Summit in 2011. The Affiliate has also developed a series of ‘Work It Out’ events for college students to help prepare them for job interviews, while providing a showcase for local businesses to brand their companies as welcoming and affirming.

The Affiliate is a true leader in

localizing the mission of Out & Equal in the New York Finger Lakes region.”

Ralph Carter, Carol Antinore (Finger Lakes continues page 3)

Contents

Editorials: .................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Dr. William Valenti......... 7 Making the Scene......................10 Holiday Wish List ......................18 Shoulders to Stand On ............21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: John Waters .....27 Gay Alliance News.....................30 Rainbow SAGE News................31 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.gayalliance.org

Perspectives From the Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

From the Gay Alliance Board Gay Alliance News Update

are fanatical followers of a religion or professional defenders of the 1% (which apparently has stashed $32 trillion in Cayman Islands and/or Swiss bank accounts). As Albert Speer, Hitler’s former architect, said after 1945, True Believers are “uneducable.”

Maine hate groups want to take same sex marriage back to the ballot in defense of “religious liberty” – their euphemism for “religious bigotry.” A NOM spokes-creep called President Obama a “terrorist”. Internet photos of Obama-effigies being lynched, or shown with placards reading “Pray 4 assassin,” apparently don’t constitute terrorism.

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council hate group joined street-fightin’ billionaire buffoon Donald Trump in predicting/calling for a “revolution” (a.k.a. violent takeover of the government). Faux News’ Bill O’Reilly said, “50 percent of the voting public wants STUFF… they think they are entitled to THINGS.” And tired old Ann Coulter chimed in with the tired old claim that America is “only interested in handouts.”

In their view, the legitimately Entitled are people like themselves and those wealthy WASPS who wept at Republican HQ on election night. And that includes corporations, who of course are people and who don’t want handouts – except for all those billions that they take from government, er, handouts, tax breaks and bailouts… those don’t count! As for the lowly 47% (Romney) or 50% (O’Reilly) – we serfs aren’t Entitled to THINGS and STUFF like food, housing, jobs, education or healthcare.

So much for conservative “core values.” So much for the threat of Tea Party dominance for the next four years. Now we can keep working for real change, just fighting the usual rightwing obstructionism without having to spend all our energy resisting an extremist regime’s constant attacks on our civil rights. ■

Entitled As election results came in on Nov. 6, the faces at Republican HQ got increasingly grim.

And TV watchers couldn’t help but notice that those faces all looked Aryan – blond or at least fair-skinned and clean cut, with expensive clothes and haircuts -- and all quite sure that they represent the legitimately Entitled: wealthy, white, heterosexual males (and their submissive female property).

It was amusing to see how the sore losers contradicted and denounced each other. It had simply never occurred to them that they could lose. Karl Rove went into a hissy fit of denial on Faux News, when Ohio went for Obama. This just can’t be happening! Post-Nov. 6, he announced that it was Hurricane Sandy which had brought about the unexpected downfall of the Righteous Rich.

Meanwhile, evangelical loons had been screaming that Hurricane Sandy was God’s punishment for America’s coddling of “teh gayz” – once again, as with Katrina, Jehovah’s wrath at Satan Spawn like us had brought down a natural disaster. So which was it, guys? If God hates gays so much, why did He in His mysterious ways cause a hurricane -- which then brought victory to supporters of gay rights?

It is a mistake to look for rational thought among fanatics and ideologues, whether they

Many things

PARTNERSHIPS continued The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

Bronze Level

Holiday Greetings from the Board of Directors!

By Bruce Gorman and Emily Jones As you may be awar,e there have been some leadership changes at the Gay Alliance. Anne Wakeman completed her sixmonth stand as Interim Executive Director and while we work to seek permanent leadership, Joanne Giuffrida has stepped in as our Business Manager. In that role, Joanne is running the dayto-day operations of the agency.

You may recall that Joanne served as interim ED prior to the hiring of Sue Cowell.

With a sense of enthusiasm and commitment to the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley we are proud to announce that we have taken on the role of CoChairs of the GAGV Board of Directors for the next year. We have also put in place a succession plan for board leadership so as to “grow” our own leadership team going forward.

Last month we launched our Annual Fall Appeal with a $20,000 Challenge Grant.

Already, many board members along with a former Board Chair have stepped up and donated cash gifts toward our goal. We thank you for your generosity in the past and hope we can count on you again, knowing that your donations will be matched dollar for dollar!

This year we were able to ini-

tiate a week-long Youth Leadership Camp for our LGBT youth.

Even after their time at camp, that group continues to meet to grow their skills and mentor the young people who are coming after them at the Center. This camp, coupled with over 150 community education outreach events, establishes the GAGV as the trainer of choice for LGBT issues in the workplace, schools, universities and agencies that provide health care to LGBT individuals.

We are so energized by the extensive and exciting work being done to better serve our LGBT population and the community at large. The work that we do with our seniors and youth, groups which both face issues of rejection and isolation, is significant. We are very hopeful that as we develop our intergenerational programming, these two populations will achieve a unique sense of pride and self esteem as they share their life’s journeys with one another.

Our primary goal is to insure that the agency is placed on a firm financial foundation. This goal will be at the core of our year-long celebration as we officially turn “Forty and Fabulous” and will enable us to create the needed capabilities to empower our LGBT community for the next 40 years. The details about this celebration and how you can participate can be found on the front page of this issue.

Thank you in advance for your support of our work, that of the entire board and the agency staff.■

Champion Level

Name Address

Equal=Grounds Coffee House & Gift House

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The Empty Closet • Youth Program • Rochester Pride Education Program & Speakers Bureau Library & Archives • gay alliance Resource Directory Shoulders to Stand On • Rainbow SAGE • SafeZone The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.GayAlliance.org

E-mail Membership levels: ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100-999 Champion ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Enclosed is my check in the amount of _________ (check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of: __________ To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # _____________________________ Exp. Date: _______ ❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged. ❏ Please provide me Rainbow SAGE Program (age 50+) News Benefits include: a subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership in the Gay Alliance. 12-1/13

for Many people

Friend Level

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

(Election from page 1) for a seat in the House of Representatives. Sinema is the first openly bisexual member of Congress. (More national news on page 4.)

Local Democrats wallop GOP Incumbent Democrat Louise Slaughter defeated Republican challenger Monroe County Executive Maggie Brooks in the race for the 25th Congressional District. The race attracted a lot of attention and a lot of soft money, including a last-minute, $1.3 million ad-buy from a Karl Rove-connected group for Brooks. President Bill Clinton visited Rochester to star at a rally for Louise.

In a morning email to supporters after the election, Slaughter said, “We beat back Karl Rove, the Koch Brothers and all the money they poured into trying to buy this seat. We were victorious!”

She added, “This election was never about me, it was never about my opponent, it was about the future of our families. We were able to stand strong and make sure that New York has a constant advocate who will fight for our middle class fami-

lies… We have built a strong grassroots organization that we can be proud of. Despite being the target of millions from Karl Rove and the Koch brothers, we were able to fight back and we were able to win.”

The race went negative early, with Slaughter’s camp firing back at vicious attacks by Brooks’ surrogates. Brooks’ supporters were particularly nasty, taking digs at Slaughter’s age — she’s 83 — and appearance.

Slaughter returns for a 14th term in Congress, while Brooks has three years left as county executive before term limits kick in.

Bronson breezes to victory Incumbent Rochester Democrat Harry Bronson, who was first elected to the New York State Assembly in 2010 as the first openly gay upstate legislator, had a solid victory over his Republican challenger Peterson Vazquez. Bronson received 63 percent of the vote, while Vazquez received 37 percent.

In his acceptance speech to a packed house at the Hyatt Ballroom in downtown Rochester, Bronson thanked his family and supporters. He said, “Thank you to the families of the 138th District. You have allowed me into your homes so I could listen and learn from you — so you could add your voice to help make the

(Forty from page 1) forty years, right here on our front page and on our website, starting in the new year, so keep watching and share with your friends and families as a reminder of why this is such a great cause.

What’s your favorite year?

As we look back and reflect on our trials and tribulations over the last forty years, we do so with a clear focus on our future. Thank you for being part of our past and we hope you’ll join us in making our Forty & Fabulous Fundraiser a great success. We think our friends and families are going to have lots of fun with it.

So choose your favorite year and let’s get this party started!

And if you need inspiration on choosing a year to adopt... take a look.

1973: While homosexual acts were considered illegal in New York state, the newly formed Gay Alliance marched on City Hall four times and opened its doors at 812 Brown Street.

1994: City Council passes domestic partnership legislation, the AIDS Quilt comes to Rochester..

1977: While gay people were being compared to cancer victims and members of Charles Manson’s cult, the GAGV gained a big win and local visibility with a 7-1 vote in favor of CETA Funds.

1980: GAGV hosts its first Gay Prom at the First Unitarian Church.

1978: GAGV organized its first demonstration to protest Anita Bryant’s “Save the Children” campaign of bigotry against gays when she performed at the Dome Arena.

1992: While President Clinton gets the Supreme Court approval for “don’t ask, don’t tell,” Rochester gets its first Lesbian and Gay Film and Video Festival.

1987: PFLAG was recognized for its efforts in reaching out to gays and helping families and friends be supportive.

2002: The passage of SONDA, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation in employment, housing, An early membership appeal. public accommodations, education, credit and the exercise of providing powerful voices for civil rights. dignity and civil rights; and 1979: Gays were assaulted in being a region and city built on Durand Eastman Park culmithe quest of people seeking to nating in an outcry and march better their lives with opportuon the beach, just a month nities to express free thought, before the Downtown United innovation, education and worPresbyterian Church voted to ship. become a “More Light” congreBuilding on this foundation, gation guaranteeing full memthe Gay Alliance of the Genebership to gay people. see Valley’s mission is dedicated 1990: While the fight for to cultivating a healthy, includomestic partnership benefits sive environment where indifor City of Rochester employees viduals of all sexual orientations and their partners was in full swing, the GAGV moved to its and gender expressions are safe, new center at Atlantic Avenue thriving, and enjoying full civil and Elton St. rights.

1974: Lt. Gordon Urlaucher Even as the leading voice for of the Rochester Police DepartLGBT issues, GAGV has been ment first met with GAGV and left behind among broader comestablished an official liaison munity agendas. Even today, with the gay community. the LGBT population of Roch1992: The Presbyterian ester experiences homophobia Church (USA) reversed the and heterosexism daily from the decision made by the Downmedia and personally on many town United Presbyterian levels from peers, family, school Church to nominate the Revofficials, police, clergy, employerend Jane Spahr, an openly gay ers and co-workers. woman minister, to its pastoral So, while we’ve made great staff. strides, the need to empower 2011: The New York state pride in all individuals is as senate passes Governor Andrew important today as the day we Cuomo’s Marriage Equality Act by a vote of 33–29. opened in 1973. We need your Rochester has a history of help. ■

page one

Empire State the best it can be.

Your trust in me is a privilege I do not take lightly.”

NYS Senate Dems win Alesi seat In what may have been the most expensive New York State Senatorial campaign in history, Democrat Ted O’Brien won the race for the state Senate’s 55th District seat. O’Brien and Republican Sean Hanna were running for the open seat that was previously held by Republican Jim Alesi, who decided not to seek reelection.

The race was a contentious one and from the early stages of the campaign. O’Brien was the target of untruthful and unrelenting attack ads from an anonymous group, but voters evidently dismissed those tactics with disdain. The race drew statewide interest because it has implications for which party controls the state Senate. That question was not settled at presstime, but O’Brien’s victory does flip a Republican seat to a Democratic seat.

O’Brien received approximately 64,800 votes to the approximately 59,900 votes Hanna received, according to the Monroe County Board of Elections and the Ontario County Board of Elections.

Monroe County Legisla(Election continues page 6)

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NewsFronts Local and State

Jenny Boylan speaking at Brockport. Photo: Khoury Humphrey

Jennifer Finney Boylan: variance is the norm

By Susan Jordan Jennifer Finney Boylan – novelist, transwoman, English professor and blues/rock keyboard player -- spoke at SUNY Brockport on Nov. 1, hosted by the Brockport LGBT student group SOUL (Sexual Orientations United for Liberation). Her humor and confidence bridged the gap between over 200 people, mostly students, and most presumably cisgendered, and a real understanding of the trans experience.

Jenny was not always confident about her gender identity and its meaning. Her 2003 memoir “She’s Not There,” an updated version of which will be published in April, relates her long, hard struggle to accept herself as a transwoman, and all the changes in her life that followed.

Jenny began by reading from her book “Stuck in the Middle With You,” about the differences between motherhood and fatherhood. She said, “I was a father for six years and a mother for 10, and in between was both and neither…. I was a feminine father and a masculine mother... As a father I taught my sons to iron dress shirts… as a mother I taught them to split wood.” She hopes that her sons have learned to be more flexible and have become better men because of her parenting.

“In the Early Morning Rain,” from “She’s Not There” and also the “It Gets Better” anthology, describes her troubled life as a young “male” and her near-attempt at suicide on a cliff in Nova Scotia.

Even when dealing with such a serious topic, her irrepressible humor shines through: “I thought about settling in one of the little villages around here, just starting life over as a woman. I’d tell everyone I was Canadian. Then I lay on my back and sobbed. Nobody would ever believe I was Canadian.”

Blown back from the cliff

edge by the wind, Jenny fell to the ground and heard a voice saying, “Are you all right? You’re going to be all right.” Was it the voice of her guardian angel, or her late father? She concluded, “It was the voice of my future self – the woman that I would become.”

Jenny did some Trans 101 for the audience and took questions. She described being uncertain about her body as a teenager: “I saw girls becoming women and wanted to say [in a tiny voice] ‘take me with you!’”

Jenny said, “Transition was not so much a decision as an erosion” – of self-doubt and fear. One significant moment came when she was told she was “almost like somebody someone would know.” “Almost…” she repeated with a wry smile.

She emphasized Kinsey’s statement that variance in sexual behavior is the norm. After she finished her talk, with a hilarious account of a conversation with her son who had revealed his desire to work with poisonous snakes in Australia, the youthful audience gave her a standing ovation. One young man had watched her with a stony face all evening, never smiling at her jokes – but at the end his friends were all laughing and applauding, and his attitude may have started to change. Certainly Jenny Boylan sowed some seeds that night.

One line from “She’s Not There” especially sticks with me: “As it turns out, we’re all still learning to be men, or women, all still learning to be ourselves.”

Nathan Schafer, new Pride Agenda ED, visits Rochester

By Susan Jordan Nathan Schafer became the new executive director of the Empire State Pride Agenda on Oct. 15. On Nov. 13-14 he was in Rochester to meet with members of the LGBT and ally communities.

Lobbying for the passage of GENDA, the bill which would (Nathan continues page 6)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

NewsFronts national and international

San Francisco’s Castro celebrates on election night.

Election is massive triumph for LGBT Americans’ rights From President Obama’s re-election, to the victories of national openly gay candidates like Tammy Baldwin, now Senator-elect from Wisconsin, and pro-LGBT candidates like Senator-elect Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, to the marriage equality ballot issues in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington, to victories for NYS gay candidates like Harry Bronson and Sean Patrick Maloney and proLGBT candidates like Kristen Gillibrand, Ted O’Brien and Louise Slaughter, the 2012 election was a massive victory for LGBT Americans.

Minnesota has voted down Amendment 1, a constitutional amendment that would have defined marriage as being a union solely between a man and a woman.

The state became the first in the country to vote against such an amendment on the ballot when results were announced early on Nov. 7.

Maryland and Maine have approved marriage equality. In Washington state, the passing of Referendum 74, granting marriage rights to LGBT citizens, came several days after the election, due to the state’s mail-in voting system.

For the first time in history, voters chose to legalize same-sex marriage on the ballot. Gay rights advocates are celebrating this development as a critical victory and a turning point in the fight for mar-

riage equality.

Since the late ‘90s, a total of 32 states have held votes on same-sex marriage, and each time, voters have opposed the measure. For opponents of same-sex marriage, this string of victories has been a crucial talking point. As Brian Brown, president of the National Organization for Marriage, the nation’s leading group opposing gay marriage, said in a press release this summer: “The American people know in their heart what marriage is, and they have expressed that in the form of over 70 million votes cast in 32 consecutive state elections to preserve marriage as the union of one man and one woman.”

Not any more. After the election, some rightwing organizers blamed the loss on their own base, angrily denouncing conservatives and evangelical Christians for insufficient turnout. Others, including Karl Rove, blamed Hurricane Sandy, while some evangelicals said that, on the contrary, God had actually caused the hurricane as punishment for America’s acceptance of gays. Conservative hate groups again called for a violent uprising to overthrow American democracy. Liberal commentators like Rachel Maddow observed that few Republican leaders are questioning their party’s “core values” in regard to gay rights, women’s rights, immigration issues, poverty, or middle class working people’s concerns.

Maine backs equality “This is a landmark election for marriage equality and we will forever look back at this year as a critical turning point

in the movement for full citizenship for LGBT people,” Human Rights Campaign chief Chad Griffin said in a press release on the night of Nov. 6. “Voters in Maine came to the common-sense conclusion that all people deserve the ability to make loving, lifelong commitments through marriage.”

The Maine vote is particularly heartening, since just three years ago a popular vote overturned legislation that would have legalized same-sex marriage in the state.

“Securing marriage equality at the ballot box in Maine is especially appreciated the second time around,” R. Clark Cooper, head of the Log Cabin Republicans, the largest Republican group that supports same-sex marriage, told The Huffington Post in an email.

Although six states and Washington, D.C. legalized gay marriage before 2012, they did so through the votes of state legislators or court decisions. The new victory undermines the conservative premise that those early wins were merely the result of liberal bias in state legislatures and the courts, and it reflects what recent polls have shown to be a shift in Americans’ views on the issue, according to the Huffington Post.

Washington’s Referendum 74 looked likely to pass on Nov. 7, though final word was not given until Nov. 8. With 1,887,094 votes counted, 52 percent approve to 48 percent oppose. The holdup was King County, which still had tons of ballots to count the day after the election.

Still, with 65 percent of King County voters approving R-74 in the initial count, and that trend likely to continue through the full count, seasoned political watchers were correctly predicting victory on Nov. 7. “Fifty-two percent, with King County what it is — it’s still time to call Washington State for marriage equality,” said Governor Chris Gregoire.

Similarly, Matt Barreto, who runs the Washington Poll, projected that R-74 would be approved and added that he expected Jay Inslee to be the next governor. “King County delivered both,” Barreto said.

Gay blogger Andy Towle commented, “This was an election night that LGBT equality has never seen. For the first time ever, measures on marriage equality succeeded at the ballot. With the Maryland and Maine wins this was unprecedented.

NOM, who can no longer say we’ve ‘lost every time’ when same-sex marriage measures have been put before voters, must be crying into their Cheerios this morning.

They are finished.” (Towleroad.com) Lesbian Tammy Baldwin goes to the Senate Upon the Wisconsin Senate Race being called for Tammy Baldwin, Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin released the following statement: “Tammy Baldwin has always been a trailblazer, but with her victory tonight Senator-elect Baldwin has again earned her spot in the history books. As the first openly gay person elected to the United

States Senate, Tammy Baldwin is a role model for LGBT youth and all young women across the country.

“With a relentless focus on the issues that matter most to Wisconsin voters — economic security, access to healthcare, and fairness and inclusion for all.

As a result, she’s earned the respect of all her constituents, gay and straight. It was HRC’s privilege to be part of the broad coalition that helped ensure her victory, and we can’t wait to work with her and her team as she takes on this new role.”

Mark Pocan, who is also openly gay, was elected to succeed Tammy in the House.

Obama wins after backing marriage equality Freedom to Marry applauded the reelection of President Obama, the first sitting president to support the freedom to marry, who campaigned on that position and saw it motivate supporters and galvanize voters in a tight race. The reelection of the Democratic candidate came after the party went on record with a historic “freedom to marry” plank in its national platform, and after the president spoke out clearly and strongly in favor of marriage in the state ballot battles. The contrast between the two presidential candidates, and the two parties, on the freedom to marry could not have been starker, and the American people voted for the freedom to marry candidate.

Evan Wolfson, president and founder of Freedom to Marry, issued this statement: “In reelecting President Obama, the American people chose a candidate who strongly and explicitly supports the freedom to marry -- and rejected a challenger who had opposed the freedom to marry and criticized every step the president has taken to end discrimination against loving and committed gay couples and their families. Far from hurting President Obama, his support for the freedom to marry undoubtedly galvanized his base and independents, delivering the turn-out that carried him to victory. The president’s reelection further reflects and accelerates the momentum for marriage, which Freedom to Marry will transform into more victories in 2013.

“As we grow support in Congress and create a climate of encouragement around the Supreme Court, we look forward to working with President Obama and other supporters across the political spectrum to advance our Roadmap to Victory national strategy for winning marriage nationwide: joining together to enlarge and diversify the majority for marriage, win the freedom to marry in more states, and overturn the so-called Defense of Marriage Act that discriminates against legally married couples.”

Upon news President Obama was reelected, HRC President Chad Griffin stated, “As millions of Americans celebrate President Obama’s reelection tonight, the LGBT community is particularly elated to send the most pro-equality president ever back to the White House for a second

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet term. There is no doubt that we will continue to see tremendous progress toward full equality like we’ve made during his first four years.

“While some pundits predicted the President’s support for marriage equality would hinder his campaign, we know the opposite is true. President Obama’s historic and heartfelt declaration that all loving and committed couples should be able to marry further rallied millions of voters and sparked conversations that advanced marriage campaigns around the country.

His reelection after expressing support for marriage equality is further proof that the momentum is on the side of marriage for all families.

“With our Ally-in-Chief back in the White House, we look forward to working with him on a host of issues including addressing workplace non-discrimination and expanding federal benefits to samesex couples.”

Black AIDS Institute Phill Wilson of the Black AIDS Institute said, “We congratulate President Obama. Over the next four years, we must work with the administration to help them to understand the urgency and opportunity for ending the AIDS epidemic. We must encourage them to invest in both the infrastructure to make sure that the 1.1 Americans living with HIV reach viral suppression and in an environment in which people living with HIV are free from the stigma and discrimination that create barriers to appropriate treatment, retention in care, and contributing to our society.

“We expect that during his second term President Obama will double down on his efforts and commitment to end the epidemic.”

Human Rights Campaign HRC’s Chad Griffin commented, “For the first time, voters in Maine and Maryland voted to allow loving couples to make lifelong commitments through marriage – forever taking away the rightwing talking point that marriage equality couldn’t win on the ballot. No amount of well-funded lies about our families could deceive Mainers and Marylanders…. The momentum for marriage equality has never been stronger, and with poll after poll showing a growing majority of support, we have a renewed certainty that we will win this fight.”

HRC: Pro-Marriage Equality President Wins Reelection “As millions of Americans celebrate President Obama’s reelection tonight, the LGBT community is particularly elated to return the most pro-equality President ever to a second term,” Griffin said.

“There is no doubt that we will continue to see tremendous strides forward like we’ve made during his first four years with our Ally-in-Chief back in office. While some pundits predicted the President’s support for marriage equality would hinder his campaign, we know the opposite is true. His historic and heartfelt declaration that all loving and committed couples should be able to marry further

motivated millions of voters and sparked conversations that led to wins for marriage at the ballot box. His win is further proof of the marriage equality movement’s momentum.”

HRC: Pickup of Fair-Minded and Openly LGB Members of Congress “For LGBT youth who aspire to public service, we have shattered a glass by sending Tammy Baldwin to the Senate and increasing the number openly LGB members of Congress. In the Senate we have at least three new marriage equality supporters who proudly declared their support for marriage for gay and lesbian couples on the campaign trail.”

HRC: Voters Retain Iowa Justice Who Decided for Marriage “It appears that Iowans have made a strong statement for judicial independence and refused to let politics get in the way of judges doing their duty to uphold the law.

Anti-gay groups trying to exact political retribution on judges should learn their lesson. Marriage equality remains the law of the land in Iowa and judges like Justice Wiggins will continue to do their jobs.”

HRC: LGBT Voters Flex Political Muscle, Break for President “Our community has flexed our political muscle with exit polls showing an increase from four percent of the vote in 2008 to five percent this year. And the President gained many more supporters among lesbian, gay and bisexual voters – jumping seven points to garner 77 percent of our vote.”

HRC: Moving Forward Griffin concluded, “Tonight we celebrate, but tomorrow morning we get up and get back to work so that the victories we hail tonight are felt everywhere across this great country. Too many people are denied the ability to marry. Too many people go to their jobs without workplace protections. Too many young people go to bed at night and stare at the ceiling, sleeplessly wondering what awaits them the next day at school or at church or in their own home. Thanks to all the hard work in achieving tonight’s victories, we finally have momentum on our side and we will not rest until the promise of equal justice under the law is realized for every single person living in every single corner of this vast country.”

GetEQUAL GetEQUAL -- a national civil rights organization fighting for the full equality of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans -- issued the following statements: Robin McGehee, Executive Director: “It’s thrilling to see such a landslide of progressive wins tonight -- from equalityminded candidates, to opportunity for all our young people through access to higher education, to marriage winning at the ballot box for the first time. I’m overwhelmed with hope for our country, hope for our community, and hope for my children. Now is the time to ensure that all of the candidates who won tonight hold steadfast to their commitments to equality and justice for all -- our work begins

right now!”

Heather Cronk, Managing Director: “As a Marylander, I’m ecstatic that LGBT Americans have finally defended our civil rights at the ballot box in multiple states across this country. Tonight, the nation re-elected President Obama to another four years in the White House -- and tonight LGBT activists have our marching orders for the next four years. The president has told us over and over again to hold his feet to the fire in order to create real progress in this country, and we take that task very seriously. Tonight, the election is over but the work to get equal has only just begun.”

Felipe Sousa-Rodriguez, National Field Director: “We worked for weeks in Florida, Maryland, and Ohio, calling and talking with voters who are friendly to LGBT and immigration rights. Our collective labor as a community has engaged marginalized voters and brought them into the political process -- and now our collective labor will demand that President Obama use every bit of his power to help us -- all of us -- get equal.”

Local/state results In New York State, pro-gay Sen. Kristen Gillibrand won her race. In the Rochester area, Congresswoman Louise Slaughter, longtime supporter of LGBT civil rights, won re-election, as did openly gay NYS Assembly member Harry Bronson. Pro-gay Ted O’Brien is now a NYS senator-elect.

Nathan Schafer of the Empire State Pride Agenda commented, “The vast majority of New York State legislators who voted for marriage won their re-election.

Despite the threats of our opposition, we clearly delivered the message that voting for equality is not only the right thing to do, it is the politically pragmatic thing to do. We will forcefully carry this message to Albany as we continue to press for longoverdue transgender civil rights.

“There are two State Senate races in which we endorsed and were particularly invested that I want to highlight for you: “Ted O’Brien was in a tight race in Rochester for an open Senate seat. His predecessor, Senator James Alesi, voted for marriage and it was critical that the seat remain firmly pro-LGBT. Through hard work, perseverance and exceptional political acumen, Ted O’Brien emerged victorious and will be one of our champions in Albany.

“Senator Joe Addabbo’s district bore much of the brunt of the storm last week.

The challenges that voters in his district had to overcome in order to cast their vote were immense. In recent days, Joe Addabbo has reiterated his support for marriage and pledged to continue his leadership by sponsoring the Gender Expression NonDiscrimination Act (GENDA). And last night, he won his race!”

In addition, two former Pride Agenda board members were elected: U.S. Congressman-elect Sean Patrick Maloney and New York State Senator-elect Brad Hoylman (replacing retiring openly gay Tom Duane).

5 “Last night, the vast majority of Pride Agenda-endorsed candidates won their election,” said Schafer. “Despite the threats of our opposition, we clearly delivered the message that voting for equality is not only the right thing to do, it is the politically pragmatic thing to do. We will forcefully carry this message to Albany as we continue to press for long overdue transgender civil rights.”

Maine makes history; marriages may start as soon as Dec. 6 Maine has become the first state to approve the freedom to marry for samesex couples through a majority vote on a ballot measure. The state is expected to begin issuing marriage licenses this month.

“Today, a majority in Maine voted in favor of loving and committed same-sex couples seeking the freedom to marry,” said Freedom to Marry National Campaign Director Marc Solomon. “Now the commitment gay and lesbian couples have made in life will be respected equally under the law, celebrated before their loved ones, and called what it is: marriage.

“It’s hard to overstate the national significance of this vote,” Solomon continued. “For years, our opponents have argued that we could not win a majority vote at the ballot. Today, Maine voters proved them wrong, standing up for the Golden Rule and for freedom for all Mainers.”

“We congratulate Mainers United for Marriage Campaign Director Matt McTighe for the extraordinary effort he has run, as well as all the coalition partners, and particularly Equality Maine and Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, for their steadfast commitment to this fight,” said Solomon.

ACLU “Maine voters chose freedom over fear,” said Shenna Bellows, executive director of the ACLU of Maine and member of the campaign executive committee.

“Our work continues, but this win confirms that one-on-one conversations with friends and neighbors can effect statewide change. This victory was grounded in courage and freedom of speech by thousands of people who dared to tell their personal stories over and over again.”

“With this historic election, there can be no denying that tonight is a watershed moment for gay and lesbian families in America,” said James Esseks, director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. “Not long ago, marriage for same-sex couples was unimaginable. In a remarkably short time, we have seen courts start to rule in favor of the freedom to marry, then legislatures affirm it, and now the people vote for it as well. Today’s election illustrates both the astonishing pace of change on this issue as well as America’s commitment to fairness for everyone.”

Before this election, six states plus (Maine continue page 14)

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page one (Election continued from page 3) ture sees red Despite all the positives for Democrats this election year, at the local level Republicans in the County Legislature increased their majority by one member on election night. Irondequoit foot doctor Joe Carbone unseated RIT professor Stephanie Aldersley, the Democrat who was appointed to a vacant seat earlier this year.

The race was very close, which did not come as a surprise since Carbone narrowly lost to Democrat Vinnie Esposito, who held the seat before Aldersley, in the 2011 elections. Esposito resigned this year to take a job with the state. Aldersley served 10 years in the Legislature prior to Esposito’s tenure.

Carbone’s victory brings the Republican majority one vote closer to a twothirds majority. That’s important in terms of county borrowing, which requires support from two-thirds of the legislators, or 20 out of 29 votes. When Carbone takes office the Republican majority will have 19 of the 29 seats in the legislature.

Marriage Equality wins out; public attitudes shifting Voters in Maine and Maryland approved same sex marriage on a day of election results that jubilant gay rights advocates called a historic turning point, the first time that marriage for gay men and lesbians has been approved at the ballot box. Washington state was not far behind, and when the final votes were in, so was marriage equality.

Chuck Wolfe, president and CEO of the Victory Fund, said in an email to supporters, “Sometimes progress comes in fits and starts, harder to detect than we’d like.

Last night was not like that. Last night was a breathtaking leap forward” In Minnesota, in another first, voters rejected a proposal to amend the

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 State Constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman, a measure that has been enshrined in the constitutions of 30 states. A state law barring same-sex marriage remains on the books there, but with the defeat of the amendment, the door remains open to change by the legislature or the courts.

While six states and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriage through judicial or legislative decisions, voters had rejected it more than 30 times in a row. LGBT and civil rights groups said the victories were an important sign that public opinion was shifting in the direction of equality.

In an email to constituents, Human Rights Campaign president Chad Griffin said, “We have made history for marriage equality by winning our first victory at the ballot box.” The Human Rights Campaign raised millions of dollars for the measures in the four states.

In another sign of shifting public attitudes, a drive by social conservatives in Iowa to unseat David S. Wiggins, one of seven State Supreme Court justices who voted unanimously in 2007 to legalize same-sex marriage, fell short. Only two years ago, three other justices who faced similar electoral challenges were voted out as conservatives, backed by out-ofstate donations, argued that the court had overstepped its role by ruling in favor of LGBT citizens’ civil rights.

In Baltimore, supporters of Maryland’s referendum feverishly danced in the streets at midnight. The final tally in Maryland was a four-point margin, 52 percent for same-sex marriage and 48 percent against.

History has not been kind to marriage equality It has been a constant theme of opponents of same-sex marriage that whenever the issue has been put before voters it has lost. In 30 states, voters have limited marriage to a man and a woman through constitutional amendments and same-sex marriage has also been blocked in referendums like those in California in 2008 and Maine in 2009.

Earlier this year, the legislatures in Washington and Maryland approved same-sex marriage, but opponents gathered enough signatures to force this fall’s referenda. In Maine, since their loss in 2009, gay rights advocates have been cultivating public opinion in one-on-one conversations, and this year sponsored a repeat election and reversal of the verdict.

In the final week of the campaigns, the opponents of same-sex marriage, mainly financed by the National Organization for Marriage and the Mormon and Roman Catholic Churches, mounted a barrage of advertising and telephone appeals in all four states, trying to convince undecided voters that “redefining marriage” would force schools to “teach gay marriage” and require businesses and churches to violate religious principles.

Rights groups have denounced those messages as misleading scare tactics and say they do not seek to redefine marriage

but to end discrimination.

NOM also failed to unseat Buffalo, N.Y. Senator Mark Grisanti, a Republican legislator who helped pass marriage equality in 2011. ■

(Out & Equal from page 1) and Heidi Simmons thanked the Out and Equal Board, Selisse Barry. Kevin Jones and Nancy Mace for honoring the NY Finger Lakes Affiliate.

Ralph Carter said, “When Nancy Mace called letting us know that we had won the award, she asked the following questions: How was OENYFL able to sustain a monthly networking meeting where 70 to 100 hundred people attend each month? How was OENYFL able to produce a successful Regional Summit?

How are we able to grow our affiliate every month where we currently have 650 members?

“Questions she didn’t ask: Why did the Greater Rochester region have three of its major Fortune 500 companies as members of the first 13 companies scoring 100 percent on the HRC CEI? “Why are there more faith organizations than gay organizations marching in the annual PRIDE Parade? Why was the first O&E Conference held in Rochester in 1998? Why have Rochester companies received every one of the O&E Awards and some have been received twice for outstanding senior leadership?

“We can only answer that it is the greater Rochester region! We have the oldest continually published gay newspaper in the United States, our Gay Alliance will celebrate its 40 year anniversary in 2013, having been spawned from one of the first 80 Gay Liberation Groups on the University of Rochester campus following the Stonewall riots in 1969.

“We are a region steeped in civil rights, home to Susan B. Anthony and Fredrick Douglas. We have an Iroquois and Quaker heritage that affirms and celebrates difference. As such we celebrate new ideas and are known for invention and innovation. We lead NYS in the number of jobs created outside of NY City following the Great Recession. Richard Florida in his seminal work, Rise of the Creative Class made the direct correlation between technology company density and LGBT density in a community. If you affirm different ideas, you will also affirm difference among individuals. The region has one of the leading Divinity Schools in the nation as well as being home to 18 colleges and universities.

“OENYFL builds coalitions continually by inviting a different community partner to join us at monthly events, we help them create visibility and brand recognition. We invite companies who create welcoming and affirming workplaces to host our monthly meetings and share why they affirm the LGBT community and why it is good for their business to do so.

We have created a quarterly ERG roundtable. Our Work It Out events for college

students help them to prepare and navigate the interview, and provide a showcase for local businesses to brand their companies as welcoming and affirming.”

Ralph Carter and Heidi Simmons spoke with The Empty Closet about their experiences at the conference, and the work of the OENYFL. Ralph said, “I’ve been to a number of these conferences and usually people aren’t very attentive to the group award; they’re more interested in the individuals and corporations. But people did listen to what we had to say, which was very refreshing.”

Ralph and Heidi told The Empty Closet that the group is meeting with faculty advisors to LGBT student groups at four colleges, to ask them to notify students about the Work It Out events, which will be held at each college, hopefully in the spring term. He said, “Our approach will be to invite some Out & Equal members to talk with students about how to come out to interviewers, and if you should.”

Heidi said, “One thing I did when I was thinking about applying for a job was to reach out to Ralph and ask him if he knew anyone at that company who was out. He said to search the database on the OENYFL website and sure enough there were two people who I was able to ask about the climate there – they both said positive things about the company. I did apply and they really did tip me off.”

Both Heidi and Ralph said they were very impressed by the number of government groups represented in the exhibit hall, where companies provide information. Heidi said, “I was surprised to see the CIA!” Ralph commented, “There are many gay employees of the federal government.

I went to a workshop on global issues and people from the State Department were there. They have made funding criteria for other countries include how the government of that country treats LGBT citizens.”

OENYFL has some special events coming up in 2013. For more information about that, and on joining OENYFL, go to the website www.outandequalfingerlakes.org, or come to one of the Second Thursdays Networking events. The December event will be held Dec. 13 from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Strathallen.

Heidi suggested, “It’s helpful if people can RSVP to the networking events; we will have a name tag ready for them and it helps us organize the event.” ■

local and state (Nathan from page 3) give equal nondiscrimination protections to trans New Yorkers, is at the top of the Pride Agenda’s priorities. Conservatives have blocked its passage with vicious, irresponsible propaganda, calling it “the bathroom bill,” which they claim would send thousands of “men in skirts” rush(Nathan continues page 12)

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Interview Dr. William Valenti, AIDS Care

By Susan Jordan Many LGBT people face barriers to adequate, quality health care. To address these health disparities, AC Center, Inc., the parent company of AIDS Care, is implementing a primary care program to address the health needs unique to these populations (“LGBT Health”).

In focus groups, online and in-person surveys of almost 600 LGBT individuals, respondents indicated the importance of culturally competent health care and indicated that they would use a primary care program designed specifically for their healthcare needs, if available.

Dr. Bill Valenti told The Empty Closet, “What we originally talked about as a clinic has morphed into a health program for LGBT people, including those who are not HIV positive. That means, for now, that we will begin to accept HIV negative patients. The same services will be available for everyone.

“There will be differences. We are planning new programs for both groups.

We know what we offer for HIV patients.

The question is, what else do we need in order to provide the same level of service to non-positive people.”

AIDS Care is planning a women’s health program, for instance, as well as healthcare for trans people. Dr. Valenti said, “We will need to offer primary care services, such as wellness programs, blood pressure, PAP smears, mammograms. In younger women, we’re talking about issues related to fertility. We’re taking our time so we can offer what people need, including trans people.

“We want to do hormone therapy, and there are issues that need to be sorted out: insurance issues, affordability of hormones, etc. The way the Affordable Care Act is set up now, it improves access to health insurance for uninsured people.

Our longstanding policy for uninsured HIV positive people is to find some type of insurance – there are quite a few programs that do that for HIV positive people. The plus of the ACA is that it allows us to do similar things for LGBTs who are non-HIV positive.

“Now we can help people get insurance so those kinds of costs, like mammograms, are reduced. Several government agencies and others consider LGBT people underserved in access to healthcare, insurance and a variety of things. We want to overcome health disparities for LGBT people. Even LGBT people who are employed and have insurance may not access healthcare for many reasons – not being out to the provider, etc. We want to improve access to primary care for trans

people, elders, women, and gay men -- the whole spectrum of the community, from adolescents to seniors. It’s about overcoming barriers and disparities and helping people get into care,” Dr. Valenti said.

AIDS Care envisions a primary care program for LGBT health that will expand several existing programs and activities, and develop new services to overcome the health disparities. In addition to current primary care services for HIV-negative gay men and transgender people, AC is developing a more comprehensive Women’s Health program, and expanding its behavioral health program and screening efforts for HIV and sexually transmitted infections (STI), including human papillomavirus infection.

“This approach allows us to expand our existing capacity by maximizing our productivity; enroll patients using a more gradual timeline; enhance our efforts to develop systems, procedures and best practices for LGBT care; reduce capital costs by utilizing our current facility and share existing wrap-around programs during start-up (e.g. nutrition, care management, behavioral health, health education),” AIDS Care says.

“Marketing activities will focus on our long-standing tradition of providing patient-centered, comprehensive, cutting edge HIV care, and extend our existing culturally competent model to the LGBT community.

“Our goal is to improve health outcomes for LGBT people. The program’s activities will build on best practices and standards of care from established LGBT health care programs and national initiatives (e.g., Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, GLMA, LGBT health disparities identified by the Healthy People 2020,

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the National LGBT Cancer Network and the Institute of Medicine).”

AIDS Care projects that by the end of year three of the operation, they will have a program enrollment of 3,000 patients. The increased volume of activity and accompanying patient revenue will decrease the need for subsidies and lead to financial sustainability beginning in year four.

Dr. Valenti said, “The important part is not just to open the door, but to put a healthcare program together that meets the needs of those not in care now – trans people, lesbians who need mammograms, etc. We’re working on those kinds of things. Our research with focus groups and online surveys gave us a reading on what people thought about their own healthcare and their needs for a program which is for LGBT people. People want an affirming environment – not necessarily gay but sensitive and culturally competent. About 25 or 30 people we talked to reported at least one negative experience with health care. For instance, trans people need to be asked, ‘What is your preferred pronoun?’ Healthcare providers may not necessarily be transphobic or homophobic – they just don’t know.

“Trans people may get hormones from unreliable sources, use them intermittently or not at all. So their healthcare suffers and they may have mental health issues due to stigma and marginalization. We already have some transgender programs in place, including hormone therapy, and we have behavioral and mental health programs for gay men and LGBT people in general. We want to expand these programs. It’s all about reducing the healthcare disparities LGBT people suffer.”

Valenti said that AIDS Care is accepting new patients slowly and is not ready for large numbers yet, but would like to get the word out about the upcoming developments.

“We are thinking we’ll be able to accept more patients by the new year, and will be able to take a large influx by

7

The important part is not just to open the door, but to put a healthcare program together that meets the needs of those not in care now – trans people, lesbians who need mammograms, etc. We’re working on those kinds of things.

March or April,” he said. “Funding – it’s the big issue for us. In order for us to be able to accept large numbers of patients, we need to gear up – hiring new staff (physician, nursing staff, social worker, expanding mental health programs). So we’re planning, organizing, networking and developing partnerships, and looking at funding issues. We’re still putting the system in place to do the expansion.

Our partners so far are the Gay Alliance, Victory Alliance HIV vaccine trial unit at URMC, and the medical school’s diversity initiative. We’re talking to third party payers – health insurance people – about offering these services. We’re also talking to local funders.

“We’re excited about the opportunity.

There are other programs like this – at Fenway in Boston, and Evergreen in Buffalo, which started as an HIV clinic and is now an LGBT health center. There are also health centers in NYC, Philadelphia, Albuquerque, Cleveland. Some are LGBT-centered specifically, and others provide LGBT healthcare within a larger health program. At some point we may move it off-site.” (AIDS Care is located at 259 Monroe Ave.) For more information, go to http://everybodysgood.com/roch-lgbtclinic ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Making the Scene

MISS GAY ROCHESTER: Olympia LaVay won the 2013 title on Nov. 18 at Harro East.

Top: she hugs 2012 titleholder F’ya Colby-Valentino. Photos: Jill Frier

HALLOWEEN DANCE: LORA hosted a Super Gay Hallows Dance on Oct. 27 at Golden Ponds. Photos: Jill Frier

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

My Own Private Rochester: Mark Siwiec

Mark Siwiec

By Susan Jordan Mark Siwiec is from Buffalo and grew up listening to Jimmy Griffin, then mayor of the city, publicly using words like “pansy”, “fag”, and “queer” when referring to gay men.

Mark says, “There were no derogatory words used to describe lesbians because, in his mind, I don’t think that lesbians were a concept that he could possibly conjure. Nobody ever challenged him. When I moved to Rochester in 1983, I immediately sensed and ultimately enjoyed the fact that this was a progressive community that would not tolerate the use of such words.”

After graduating from the University of Rochester, Mark took a job with the State Health Department doing STD contact tracing. He says, “After a year, I began scratching my head, trying to figure out what went wrong and, ultimately, started selling real estate. I’ve been at it for 21 years and continue to love what I do. My sales have mostly followed an

upward trajectory. However, the recession was incredibly difficult. I kept telling myself that, if we remained standing, once the economy began to improve, our sales would explode.

Indeed, my team and I are concluding our best year – almost $40,000,000 in residential sales. I recently hired an executive coach and we’ve begun working on strategies to grow our business to $60,000,000 within the next three years.

While my team and I are working to increase our sales volume, I’m also looking to grow our portfolio of rental properties. Currently, we own 100 rental units located, mostly, in the Park Avenue neighborhood.”

Mark’s partner is Duffy Palmer, former teacher and former NYS deputy secretary of education and co-chair of the Pride Agenda board for six years. “Duffy and I have been together for almost 17 years and have owned our house on Westminster for the past 16 years. A year and a half ago, we were lucky enough to build a home overlooking the bluff on Keuka Lake. It’s a century-old barn that the Mennonites disassembled and moved to our land. After completing the barnraising, they spent six months crafting a beautiful home around the hand-hewn structural timbers. The result is an incredible 2,800 square foot residence with 28 foot ceilings sited on 28 acres.”

Mark’s favorite Rochester events? “Let me start by saying that I love Rochester and most things about it. This city has been incredibly good to me and the people are incredibly kind. As much as I

enjoy the Jazz Fest and the Fringe Fest, it’s the day to day that really excites me.

I love food and I love music. What a perfect city to live in, right? Like everyone, I love Wegmans in Pittsford. There’s always something new to enjoy! I always learn so much just walking through the aisles! If we’re going out to eat, there’s always Two Vine, Good Luck, Nikko, Next Door, Max, Cure – the list goes on!”

Classical music is a big favorite. “As for music, well, the RPO is at the top of the list. A concert by a world-class orchestra, for $50, five minutes away – really? Duffy and I are fortunate in that many of our tenants are Eastman students so we’re able to enjoy them in concert or recital – in a concert hall or at our home.”

An ideal and typical Saturday night for Mark and Duffy is a house full of friends, either in Rochester or Hammondsport. Mark comments, “I know that, in years to come, I’ll look back fondly on memories of home-cooked meals around a fire with lots of wine, great music, and a lot of laughter. We’re lucky to have surrounded ourselves with a collection of loyal friends and interesting personalities. The nights seem to go on forever and they’re a lot of fun!”

Mark currently sits on three boards: the Empire State Pride Agenda, the RPO, and the MCC Foundation Board. Duffy is the chair of Young Women’s College Prep (a remarkable all-girls charter school) and sits on the board of Allandale Columbia. “In addition to the boards that we sit on,” Mark said, “we end up supporting quite a number of other philanthropics -Glimmerglass Opera, the Rochester Area Community Foundation, Hillside Work Scholarship, etc. We also try to remain engaged politically by hosting fundraisers for elected officials who are supportive of our community. Through it all, we try to represent the LGBT community at events and in boardrooms where the community may not otherwise have a presence. And, through it all, we are fortunate to be a part of this thriving community!” ■

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local and state (Finney from page 6) ing into women’s restrooms, presumably to rape them.

Nathan told The Empty Closet, “I can tell you our strategy will remain the same – we’ll speak with every legislator who will speak to us. We will continue to educate about the importance and life-saving benefits of this legislation. We’re going to remind those in the legislature that this bill reflects the injustice that trans New Yorkers face in terms of employment and housing, etc.

The point of this is to remind legislators that the bill is about discrimination and stigma.”

Nathan pointed out that the Pride Agenda has always reached out to Republican legislators (four of whom voted for marriage equality in 2011, thus pushing the legislation over the top). He said, “Regardless of their votes in the past, or their political affiliation, we will continue to work with the legislature to educate. Our responsibility is to work with NYS legislators – every one of them.”

Another immediate priority for ESPA is budget advocacy. Nathan said, “We’re being very strategic about our targeted budget advocacy to make sure that all segments of the population are served, including homeless youth. We’re working with our partner organizations, including those in the Health and Human Services Network.”

The Ali Forney Center for homeless youth, located in lower Manhattan, was destroyed by Hurricane Sandy and fundraisers have been providing money to relocate this crucial service.

The Pride Agenda office was also damaged by Hurricane Sandy, and their server was down and the office closed for a week. Nathan said, “We are just thankful that our staff were all OK.”

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Sandy wrecks NYC youth shelter; community responds generously Hurricane Sandy was a huge blow to an already under-funded network of support for homeless or displaced LGBT youth in New York City: the Ali Forney Center on 22nd St. between 10th and 11th Avenues was completely flooded, causing major damage to the Center. When the news went on social media, over $250,000 to rebuild was raised by Nov. 18.

The momentum started right after the storm, when executive director Carl Siciliano posted: “Yesterday we were finally able to inspect our drop-in center in Chelsea, half a block from the Hudson River. Our worst fears were realized; everything was destroyed and the space is uninhabitable. The water level went four feet high, destroying our phones, computers, refrigerator, food and supplies.

“This is a terrible tragedy for the homeless LGBT youth we serve there.

This space was dedicated to our most vulnerable kids, the thousands stranded on the streets without shelter, and was a place where they received food, showers, clothing, medical care, HIV testing and treatment, and mental health and substance abuse services. Basically a lifeline for LGBT kids whose lives are in danger.

“We are currently scrambling for a plan to provide care to these desperate kids while we prepare to ultimately move into a larger space that will better meet our needs. The NYC LGBT Center has very kindly and generously offered to let us temporarily use some of their space, and we hope to determine the viability of that on Monday.

“We have been deluged with kind offers from people who wish to volunteer and donate goods. Unfortunately, we will have to provide our services in the time being in much smaller spaces that won’t accommodate volunteers or allow for

much storage space. The best way people can reach out to help in this very challenging time is by making monetary donations. Please go to our website.

“It is heartbreaking to see this space come to such a sad end. For the past seven years it has been a place of refuge to thousands of kids reeling from being thrown away by their parents for being LGBT. For many of these kids coming to our drop-in center provided their first encounter with a loving and affirming LGBT community. I thank all of you for your care and support in a most difficult time.”

Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/2012/11/ali-forney-center-for-lgbt-youth-destroyed-by-sandy. html#ixzz2BN3m3zoQ Social media outreach brings response Popular gay blogger Joe Jervis of JoeMyGod.com picked up the message and ran with it. And then Twitter – specifically, the people on it -- ran with it.

Pam Grier tweeted the news to hundreds of thousands of followers, Joseph Gordon-Levitt tweeted it to hundreds of thousands more, and in less than 24 hours, the Ali Forney Center had received more than 900 donations totaling $100,000, Siciliano said in an interview on Nov. 4.

“We’ve never had a day where $100,000 came in online before,” he told the Los Angeles Times. “That’s actually kind of phenomenal. And it shows the power of social media to do good.”

By Nov. 18, the amount raised had risen to $250,000, with contributions arriving from England, France, Sweden, Canada and Mexico. “This shows the power of social media, when prominent people link digitally with a healthy network of people who connect emotionally,” said Ryan Davis, an Ali Forney board member who is a pioneer in using social media in politics and activism.

Although LGBT youth have historically been marginalized by traditional, mainstream institutions, Siciliano said, now the community could rally around those needing help the most. And social media helped make it happen, allowing people to help each other without waiting for someone else to tell them what to do.

DONATE: The AFC is continuing to take your donations. If you’d like to kick in a few bucks via PayPal, use this email address there: mramos@aliforneycenter. org.

AIDS Awareness weekend includes concert, panel, candlelight vigil

By Ted Elton The Rochester AIDS Awareness Weekend is scheduled to take place from Friday, Nov. 30 to Sunday, Dec. 2. The program aims to raise awareness of the HIV/ AIDS epidemic and encourage involvement from the community. Events will include memorials, concerts, and speakers.

Three panels of the AIDS Quilt will be on display at Equal=Grounds Coffee Shop

on South Ave. On Dec. 1, the First Universalist Church of Rochester, 150 South Clinton St., will host the 12th Annual World AIDS Day Benefit Concert and Panel Discussion.

The concert series was started by Thomas Warfield, an Assistant Professor at the Rochester Institute of Technology and founder of PeaceArt International.

Four years ago directorship of the concert was passed to Scotty Ginett, who has helmed it since.

Ginett’s involvement with the concert is on a purely volunteer basis – he works by day in the banking industry – but it is a role he gladly plays in the fight against HIV/AIDS “Honestly, there was a need and there still is a need for this concert,” said Ginett.

“We all know someone who is HIV positive or know someone who has been judged based on some kind of scale – skin color, sexuality, sexual preference – and as a gay male being judged for being gay I felt that this was my opportunity… to give back to a community in which I can help raise awareness and remove a stigma based on a disease.”

The concert series is accompanied by a panel discussion and will feature the Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus, AIDS Care Rochester and the Rochester Victory Alliance Staff, and other special guests.

One of Ginett’s goals for the concert series is to bring together the many different organizations dedicated to HIV/ AIDS. This year, those groups include AIDS Care Rochester and the Victory Alliance, as well as such community partners as Outlandish, Equal=Grounds, and the First Universalist Church of Rochester.

“There are so many organizations that work with HIV awareness but have separate events,” said Ginett. “I thought, why don’t we combine and work on them together.”

Ginnet has high aspirations for the future of the concert series and for the fight against HIV/AIDS. “I’d love for Annie Lennox to come and sing at the concert, in my wildest dreams,” he said. “but really, (in the next five years) I’d like to see a vaccine, less hate, less stigma, and less judgment.”

In addition to the concert, the weekend will also include AIDS Care’s annual “Shop and Wrap” event, a candlelight vigil at High Falls, and opportunities for HIV testing.

Tickets to the 12th Annual World AIDS Day Benefit Concert and Panel Discussion are $15 for general admission, $5 with a student ID, and are available at Outlandish (Village Gate, 274 North Goodman St.), Equal=Grounds (750 South Ave.), or at the door.

For more information on these events, or for opportunities to get involved, please visit http://www.facebook.com/doingthepositivething/ or http://www.acrochester. org/.

And for those who share Mr. Ginett’s appreciation of Annie Lennox, he will be performing one of her songs at the concert.

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community Foundation’s LGBT Giving Circle awards first grants In its inaugural grant-making year, the LGBT Giving Circle of Rochester Area Community Foundation is awarding grants totaling $8,750 to five nonprofit organizations.

Giving Circle charter members and grantees attended a celebration November 19 at Rochester Contemporary Art Center, where the grants were formally announced.

The LGBT Giving Circle, established in October 2011, is a philanthropic group of like-minded individuals and households interested in making a difference in their community now and in the future. During its first year, contributions in the form of memberships were evenly split between grant making for the upcoming year and endowment to meet future needs.

As of Aug. 31, the charter members of the group numbered 32 households and more than 50 individuals. Their contributions created the LGBT Fund for Greater Rochester at the Community Foundation.

“The Giving Circle is extremely pleased to be able to distribute grants that will enhance the programs of a diverse group of organizations and help make a difference in the quality of life for many in the Rochester region,” says Angela Bonazinga, co-chair of the LGBT Giving Circle.

The following grants were approved by LGBT Giving Circle membership: ImageOut ($2,000). Founded in 1993, this annual festival occurring in October showcases LGBT arts and cultural experiences through film, creative works, and artists. This grant supports operating expenses for the 2013 season.

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus ($1,500) This year the group celebrates 30 years of creating social change through the choral arts by using music to create acceptance of social diversity. This grant provides support for the group’s 30th anniversary concert season. ■

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national and international (Maine from page 5) Washington, D.C. allowed same-sex couples to marry. Three other states recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed elsewhere, nine states have full domestic partnerships or civil unions and three more states have more limited domestic partnership registries.

Maryland voters approve marriage equality Upon news voters in Maryland had passed Question Six affirming marriage equality by popular vote, HRC President Chad Griffin made the following statement: “Today the marriage equality map expands to Maryland, giving thousands more loving couples the opportunity to make lifelong commitments through marriage. This is a milestone night for the simple truth that when Americans are presented with the real lives of their friends and neighbors, they have no choice but to vote for their equality. It is the momentum reflected in poll after poll that shows a growing majority for marriage equality across the country.

“This victory in Maryland has been hard fought from the legislative fight to a massive campaign operation and we are so proud to have been leaders alongside our state partners in this effort.

“Governor O’Malley has been a champion of this issue and deserves the appreciation of all fair-minded Americans. His leadership, along with groups like the NAACP, has shown that at the end of the day human dignity wins out and that in this country we can have no second-class citizens or second-class marriages.

“Marylanders for Marriage Equality should be proud of their historic win and it’s been an honor for HRC to have been a

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 part of this fight since the beginning.”

“Today we joyously celebrate with the Maryland couples and families who will no longer be treated as legal strangers,” said Susan Goering, executive director of the ACLU of Maryland. “We also applaud Marylanders for affirming fairness and standing up for the right of same-sex couples to be treated equally under the law. The ACLU of Maryland is proud of our work on this issue over many years, and for the opportunity to partner with so many others around the state, and around the country, in rectifying an historic injustice.”

“With this historic election, there can be no denying that tonight is a watershed moment for gay and lesbian families in America,” said James Esseks, director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. “Not long ago, marriage for same-sex couples was unimaginable. In a remarkably short time, we have seen courts start to rule in favor of the freedom to marry, then legislatures affirm it, and now the people vote for it as well. Today’s election illustrates both the astonishing pace of change on this issue as well as America’s commitment to fairness for everyone.”

Rick Jacobs, founder and chair of the Courage Campaign, commented on the sweeping victories for marriage equality in Maryland, Maine and Washington: “The tide has turned -- when voters have the opportunity to really hear directly from loving, committed same-sex couples and their families, they voted for fairness and the freedom to marry. How fitting that four years after Prop. 8 awakened the nation, and the world, to the injustice of marriage for some but not for all committed couples, we have now won at the ballot box.

The Supreme Court can see that America is continuing its historic march towards equality and justice for all. Those who oppose the freedom to marry for committed couples are clearly on the wrong side of history. More and more voters are coming to know that gay people are our neighbors, our co-workers, our fellow parishioners, our (Maryland continues page 16)

Dignity-Integrity’s Holiday Gift to the Community…

Our 6th Annual Christmas Hymn Sing Tim Schramm on Organ & Piano Friday, December 28 at 7:00pm Church of St. Luke and St. Simon 17 S. Fitzhugh Street, 14614 Sit back, relax and sing the songs of the season A Reception of Cookies & Punch follows.

This event is free to the community.

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Open for dinner Tuesday-Sunday at 4pm, closed on Mondays 1550 Route 332, Farmington, NY 14425 • 585-924-8000 Happy Hour: 4-6pm, Tuesday-Friday www.proseccoitalianrestaurant.com

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national and international

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 Minnesota. Minnesota is going to be the state that’s going to show the country exactly what Minnesota values are all about.”

( Maryland from page 14) family and our friends. It won’t be long at all before all loving committed couples have the freedom to marry.”

Minnesota rejects antimarriage amendment As voters in Minnesota voted down the state’s discriminatory anti-marriage amendment, HRC President Chad Griffin stated, “Minnesota is a prime example that we are experiencing a sea change in how Americans view their LGBT neighbors. With 30 states having voted to write discrimination into their constitutions, Minnesotans stood up and said, ‘not us,’ and more are sure to follow their lead.

“No amount of lies and deception funded by deep-pocketed donors could convince Minnesotans that loving and committed couples should be excluded from marriage.

“Our work begins anew in the state and with new fair-minded leadership in the legislature we move forward toward a day when all families in Minnesota are protected equally under the law. Clearly the momentum is on our side with support for marriage equality – both nationally and in Minnesota – growing by the day.

“Minnesotans United for All Families exemplifies a dedicated and well run campaign with an amazing leader in Richard Carlbom. Our entire steering committee and board members Les Bendtsen and Tom Knabel have been a part of this fight since the beginning were true partners to the campaign.”

“You dug down and fought for love, with love,” Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak told hundreds of amendment opponents gathered at the RiverCentre in St. Paul late on Nov. 6. “You understood compassion. This wound up being one of the most inspirational things that’s ever happened in

Teresa Guajardo and Tina Roose hope to organize a mass wedding in the Washington State Capitol Rotunda.

Marriages start soon in Maine, Maryland, Washington Marriages will begin very soon in Maine, Maryland and Washington state.

AFER has the timeline: Maine Dec. 6 at the earliest. This date may change. The initiative goes into effect 30 days after the governor makes a “public proclamation of the result of the vote,” within 10 days after the result has been determined.

Maryland Jan. 1, 2013. This date was included in the original legislation passed by the state’s General Assembly, which was approved by voters.

Washington Dec. 6. All referendums that are approved by voters in the Evergreen State go into effect 30 days after the election.

A lesbian couple hopes to organize a mass wedding in the state Capitol Rotunda.

The SCOTUS decision on California marriage should be due Nov. 26, although it may be delayed. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Holiday Wish List

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Items The Empty Closet would love to find under the tree on Christmas morning… Photos by Jeff Mills

1. Glass vase: Glass vase by Peter Secrest, nationally recognized glass blower originally from Rochester. He works from his studio overlooking Canandaigua Lake. At the Gallery Store, Memorial Art Gallery of the University of Rochester, 500 University Ave. 585-2769012, http://mag.rochester.edu

2. Champagne: Chassenay d’Arce Maison de Vignerons (Confidences) champagne. Something extra special to toast the New Year … welcome 2013 with a flourish! At Corn Hill Fine Wine and Spirits, 260 Exchange Blvd., Rochester. 585-232-5530.

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3. Earrings: Earrings by Myung Urso, Rochester. Born in Korea, Myung received an MFA in Fiber Arts from Hongik University, Seoul. She has been a fiber artist, editor and reporter for an arts and crafts magazine, curator and gallery/store owner. Myung exhibits her jewelry designs extensively. At the Gallery Store, Memorial Art Gallery of the University of Rochester, 500 University Ave. 585-276-9012, http://mag.rochester.edu

4. Mermaid groom/bride tree ornaments: The December Diamonds Collections: the perfect ornaments, not just for the holidays, but for any themed occasion. Unique and fierce! (Planning a winter wedding? Get two grooms or two brides!) At Outlandish, 274 N. Goodman St. (Village Gate); 585760-8383; www.outlandish1.com.

5, Chocolates: Fabulous artisan chocolates in a variety of delicious flavors, including the Holiday Truffle Collection, with champagne-pomegranate, ginger molasses, eggnog, fig and orange clove -- and how about a little sack of almond bark as a stocking stuffer? Yum! At Hedonist Artisan Chocolates, 674 South Ave., 585-461-2815; www.hedonistchocolates.com.

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Shoulders to Stand On Shoulders of the year

By Evelyn Bailey For these two months, Shoulders To Stand On honors 10 2012 Rochester Shoulders for their contributions to our struggle for equality and justice for the Greater Rochester community inclusive of our LGBT brothers and sisters and our allies.

First: Shoulders To Stand On recognizes and honors YOU! Your Shoulders carry the Rochester community to greater awareness, integrity, and pride! Because of YOU, our LGBT brothers, sisters, and allies, the Closet is not as full! So take a moment to look at yourself and be PROUD! Shoulders honors ImageOut ImageOut is Upstate New York’s longest running lesbian and gay film and video festival. 2012 marked the 20th Anniversary of ImageOut. ImageOut informs, entertains, educates, and enriches filmgoers through the exhibition of film and videos by and about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. ImageOut encourages lesbian and gay filmmakers, who, as a group, are rarely seen in mainstream media. It is an opportunity to record and preserve the stories and histories of LGBT lives and to foster collaborations and conversations to break down social and cultural barriers concerning lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.

Shoulders honors the NY Finger Lakes Out & Equal Regional Affiliate In October, 2012 the Regional Affiliate of the Year Award (called the “Outie”) was given to the NY Finger Lakes Regional Affiliate for its commitment to the Out & Equal mission through exceptional programming and sound organizational practices. The coalitions and partnerships built by the NY Fingerlakes Regional Affiliate developed the first Out & Equal Regional Summit in 2011 here in Rochester. The Affiliate developed a series of “Work It Out” events to prepare college students for job interviews at the same time showcasing local businesses that are welcoming and confirming. The Affiliate is a true leader in the local mission of Out & Equal in the NY Fingerlakes region.

Shoulders honors Bess Watts and Anne Tischer Jim Bertolone of the Rochester Labor Council presented Bess Watts and Anne Tischer of MENY-Rochester and Pride at Work AFL-CIO with the “Mother Jones Award for Sacrifice Above and Beyond,” for their work on marriage equality on December 8, 2011. On March 15, 2012 Bess received the Pride At Work True Colors Recognition Award. Bess and Anne continue to work for equality and justice in the workplace and for the Greater Rochester community.

Shoulders honors Denise Finnerty and Courtney Michie On February 16, 2012, two of Rochester’s most energetic and tireless activists, Denise Finnerty and Courtney Michie, were presented with a Certificate of Appreciation by the Rochester Marriage Coalition. Helping virtually every LGBT rights organization that has operated in the Rochester region, they were also the presented with a handmade “Pride” afghan

by Equality Rochester’s Anne Tischer, reflecting the warmth that Denise and Courtney have generated in changing so many people’s hearts and minds.

Shoulders honors Ove Overmeyer On March 15, the Rochester & Finger Lakes Chapter of Pride At Work, AFLCIO hosted their second True Colors Recognition Award Dinner. Ove Overmyer, Pride At Work member and staff reporter for The Empty Closet, received the 2012 True Colors Award for his outstanding commitment to the advancement of workplace democracy. Ove is also President, CSEA City of Rochester Library Workers Local 828 Unit 7420 and is VP, CSEA Monroe County Local 828.

Shoulders honors Reverend Jim Mulcahy After nine years as Senior Pastor at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, Rev. Jim is “retiring” with a new job. He is the church development specialist in Scandinavia and Eastern Europe for MCC. He will live in Kiev, Ukraine, dedicating himself to helping LGBT people in a country where attending a Pride Parade can result in physical violence, with ultra-religious people and neo-Nazi skinheads trying to beat them with crosses, with police standing aside and saying they can’t offer protection. A courageous step for courageous Shoulders!

Shoulders honors Tom Privitere Tom was given the Bill Lucy Award at the 12th Annual Coalition of Black Trade Unionists (CBTU) at Rick’s Prime Rib House on April 20, 2012. Bill Lucy was a civil rights and labor union icon. Tom, NYS Public Employees Federation Director of Field Services for WNY and Vice President of the Rochester Finger Lakes Chapter of Pride at Work, AFL-CIO, was acknowledged for his lifetime commitment to working people.

Shoulders honors Bishop Prince G. Singh, Episcopal Bishop of Rochester On May 19, 2012, at the 20th ESPA Spring Dinner, Bishop Singh received the 2012 Community Service Award for his outstanding contributions to equality. He became a vocal spokesperson with the Uniting Families Act and actively took on a leadership role in the marriage equality campaign. Bishop Singh has also been a strong voice for inclusion in his own church, supporting the affirmation and the important con-

tributions of gay and lesbian leaders in the faith movement.

These Shoulders have given the LGBT community and the Greater Rochester community a reason to be OUT and PROUD! Their activism and lives bear witness to the ever-opening doors of our Closets!

Shoulders to Stand On congratulates its 2012 Shoulders!

History Corner: December 1973/January 1974

By Evelyn Bailey Forty years ago this month, the Gay Alliance was not even born. That would happen a year later in December, 1973.

The Gay Liberation Front was alive and

well at the University of Rochester. Students and members of the greater Rochester community were established and looking at issues that we still confront today.

Look at these University of Rochester happenings in 1973 – could be topics for today.

SUN. 3 DEC: “THE GENDER GAP!” A discussion of alienation questions and role limitations for gay women and gay men. Todd Union, 7:30pm.

SUN 10 DEC: “UNDER-AGE GAYS: HOW CAN WE HELP THEM?” Legal, moral, ethical and logistical problems in doing so. Report on new gay youth group.

Todd Union Music Lounge, 7:30 pm.

SUN 17 DEC: “HOW CAN THE CHURCH ADVANCE GAY RIGHTS?” Working with ministers, priests, rabbis and canons to further gay rights. Todd Union Music Lounge, 7:30pm.

SUN 7 JAN: “LIVING TOGETHER” Gay communes, housemates, etc.

Living together, not as lovers, but as brothers or sisters.

SUN 14 JAN: COFFEE HOUSE NIGHT. Games, checkers, chess, entertainment, photo and art exhibit, tarot readings etc.

SUN 14 JAN: “GLF ON THE AIR.” Planning for our weekly radio program, Music Lounge 7:30pm SUN 21 JAN: “MALE LIBERATION” What does it mean? What does it demand? Is it like Women’s Liberation?

Todd Union Music Lounge 7:30 pm WED 24 JAN: RECREATIONAL OUTING: SKI EVENING Bristol Mt. SUN 28 JAN: “ANTI-GLF” Can the gay liberation movement do more harm than good? Music Lounge Todd Union, 7:30 pm. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up It Gets Better, kind of

By Eric Bellmann On a recent Thursday I got a phone call from a kid attending a local college. His professor, a friend of mine, had given him my name.

He needs someone to photograph for a project and hopes I will agree to be his subject. He explains that he has done some research on the “It Gets Better” campaign, which encourages gay youth to hang tough, ride out the turmoil of adolescent years. He and a work partner want to make a photo layout proving that things, indeed, do get better.

This seems like a laudatory undertaking and so we email back and forth about specifics, location, times, other details.

The kid forwards an essay he’s written, which he believes will clarify his goals.

The essay is about groundbreaking gay movies, “Brokeback Mountain,” “Milk,” etc. and since I’m a movie fanatic, I am impressed and intrigued. Which is not to say I plan on being easy.

Almost immediately I start messing with him. I love kids, think of them as my window to another world, a near alien culture. I want to know what they know, what they don’t know, their values and concerns, who their idols are. When I taught eons ago I used to tell my drawing students they would get an automatic A if they could name two Rita Hayworth movies. “Who was Rita Hayworth?” Oy vey.

On to the project. I ask if he will shoot in black and white. Much more suitable for my wrinkled, sun damaged face. Can he photograph me the way Steichen photographed Garbo? Bless his heart, he says “sure”. Is there car service? The last question draws a blank. Perhaps I’ve gone too far.

I digress to mindless chatter. I ask if he knows of the remarkable photographer, Mary Ellen Mark. Yes. Well, I shared a long subway ride with her in New York after Three Kings Day two years ago.

She gave me her phone number. Kid is impressed.

However, I am not getting the point of why I am suitable for this project. Eventually it becomes clear that he has assumed I have a partner. Dear Ghost of Paul Lynde, he wants to photograph two old fags who love one another and have survived over the long haul and who will be living proof that things get better. I have no choice but to turn up the heat.

Via email, I explain all about Gloria Steinem and various quotes, “A woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, “I don’t breed in captivity.” I tell the kid, who confides that he is A, from Maine, and B, gay, that I have no partner to provide. I am an independent person and proud of it.

In an attempt to be positive I ask if he can hunt up some hunky college pal who can pose with me as my stud muffin, my boy toy. He says he’ll think about that. He says his project partner, also gay, will look around. A couple of hours later I get an email with a picture attached of a potential fake life partner. I reply that I think I’d prefer to pose alone. I do not say that the picture attached is of someone, probably quite nice, whom I would not even consider lying next to in Mount Hope Cemetery.

An hour later it dawns on me that

among my small circle of friends there is one man who might be suitable, who might be game for this undertaking. My pal Tom, an artist and yoga teacher who is more tolerant and mellow than most human beings. One email and Tom is on board, what a guy! We agree to meet the kids the next day, advising them that they have to get whatever they want within an hour. We, the devoted elderly couple, have busy lives to lead and miles to travel.

We meet in a designated lobby. Mr. Photographer is very young and he seems to be taking measured deep, deep breaths.

Have I scared him with my bombast? Off to the studio. His partner, also adorable, arrives. With a little stack of thumb nail sketches of.... what our poses are supposed to be! I have miscalculated. So entranced am I with my own charms I assumed that Tom and I would gesticulate and chat and be captured in wonderful, candid poses, evidencing vitality and glamour. Nope.

“Put your head on his shoulder. Stand closer. Now switch. Put your head against his cheek.” They consult their notes. I am aghast. The pictures I am sure will be like cheesy greeting cards. Tom is more sanguine. He mutters into my ear, pressed against his cheek, “Being a model is a lousy job.” How did he know and I did not? Well, not much to do but to cooperate. Youth must be served. Ditto Art. It’s all so deliciously fraudulent, I really can’t complain. I just never want to see the pictures.

However I haven’t forgotten my Garbo/Steichen goal. When the photo shoot is finished, well ahead of schedule, the kids agree to do portrait shots of first Tom, then me.

I ask if they have seen the amazing Avedon photograph of Karen Van Blixen, the Danish author who wrote under the name Isak Dinesen. Nope. How about Anna Magnani who insisted that every wrinkle be shown? “Do not flatter me.

I have earned this face!” she famously growled. I have decided that I too want to look ravaged. I want to look old, worn.

I want the evidence of a life fully lived. I want survivor’s glamour.

Two days later the kid emails me my portraits. Silently I scream. This is the face I’ve earned? I resolve to like them.

What choice do I have?

Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Faith Matters GLAD’s diversity work

By Rev. Irene Monroe I was lounging on the sofa watching a rerun episode of The Bernie Mac Show when the FedEx truck stopped in front of the house. The mail courier handed me a letter that stated the following: “Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), New England’s leading legal advocacy organization and a national leader on LGBT legal issues, is thrilled to invite you to be honored with the Spirit of Justice Award at the Boston Marriott Copley Place on Friday, October 26th.”

Needless to say, I was stunned. I called Robbie Samuels, Senior Manager of Events and Donor Engagement at GLAD, expressing the organization made a grave mistake.

When I was finally able to calm down from the shock, I realized this event would also be a way for me to thank

GLAD. So, I wrote back stating, “I am honored to be this year’s awardee. But I’ve not been in the struggle alone. The interconnectedness between my work and that of GLAD’s is best depicted by the African proverb that states, ‘I am because we are; and since we are, therefore, I am.’

My social justice work in churches and in the streets comes to fruition because of GLAD’s activism in the courts on behalf of us all.”

My initial encounter with GLAD was contentious. My opinions, and those of LGBTQ communities of color nationwide, were expressed weekly in my column The Religion Thang, for the now defunct Boston-based LGBTQ paper InNewsweekly.

In February, 2005 I was reporting that tensions here in Massachusetts were growing and, once again, there was a color line. The issue was marriage equality for same-sex couples. With the state legislature about to rev up again to debate the issue, and with very little time for white queer religious and political machines to colorize what had been since its inception a white movement, voices from AfricanAmerican queer organizations and communities of color were speaking up about our absence from the conversation.

To the surprise of white LGBTQ organizations, both the African-American LGBTQ and straight community had much to say about the white queer political machine’s appropriation of the language of the black civil rights movement.

Done without participation by people of color.

How the marriage debate should have been framed had not been given considerable concern. Communicating in a way that spoke truth to various LGBTQ communities of color and classes was not even considered.

The same-sex marriage debate had brought much consternation and polarization between black and white LGBTQ communities. Much of the finger pointing of the genesis of the ill-framed discussion was aimed at GLAD. Viewed by some as a lily-white organization, many people of color felt that GLAD replicated much of the same race and class divisions present in our federal judicial system.

While the marriage debate was strategically framed as an upper- to middle-class LGBTQ family issue, people of color felt that the “strategy won in court, but not in the court of public opinion,” Dorchester African-American lesbian activist Jacquie Bishop told me.

In criticizing GLAD for its approach, Boston local African-American lesbian scholar Dr. Marilyn Monteiro wrote to me in an e-mail: “I’ve told GLAD this as well — asking me for money to assist them in ‘their’ struggle; expropriating (and therefore exploiting blacks in particular) the civil rights movement rhetoric; strategies in their interests while still excluding us from leadership positions other than token appointments. Please!

It certainly is this way in Beantown, for sure. GLAD asked me to evaluate their web pages. I did. Do you think there have been any changes of the kind I suggested?

Hell, no!”

In April of that same year, Lee Swislow, Executive Director of GLAD, came to the annual Bayard Rustin Community Breakfast. When GLAD reached out to communities of color, inviting a dialogue for an inclusive re-framing of the marriage debate, the collective anger and frustration that LGBTQ communities of color collective felt toward the organization began to dissipate.

And in recognizing the need to look more deeply at diversity issues, this is GLAD’s list of accomplishments sent to me. In 2005 the GLAD Board asked the executive director to develop a diversity plan. There were very concrete actions associated with this plan, including recruiting more people of color to the GLAD Board and staff; looking at consultants and vendors that we use and reaching out to people of color and minority-owned businesses; looking at the diversity reflected by who we honor through

our Spirit of Justice Award; reaching out to diverse communities through the topics and locations of our community events.

Examples include the November, 2005 forum looking at the similarities and differences between the African-American struggle for civil rights and the LGBT struggle for civil rights; October, 2006 community conversation with Mandy Carter; April, 2008 forum on HIV/AIDS and the politics of invisibility; October, 2010 forum on the future of religion and LGBT equality in America (with Reverend Irene Monroe and Bishop Gene Robinson); October, 2011 community conversation with Katherine Patrick.

This year, GLAD received the Boston Bar Association Beacon Award for Diversity & Inclusion.

Because of GLAD’s outreach to communities of color, more and more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people are marrying. Their efforts generated discussions among us and in our communities in the context of our families and lives that matters.

So an idea that was once thought of as an anathema to black queer identity, marriage, in our LGBTQ communities, is being celebrated and on the rise. And many of us are now proudly walking down the aisle to tie the knot.

Conundrums Decision 2012

By Ove Overmyer With such remarkable marriage victories occurring in four states and the defeat of anti-equality candidates across the nation, it’s no stretch to say this was probably one of the most consequential years ever in American political history with respect to civil rights. Decision 2012 was a huge leap forward for equality and workplace rights and the effect will be tangible and long lasting.

It’s also clear our support this year helped elect the largest number of out federal lawmakers in our country’s history. Also, a record number of women were elected to the U.S. Senate -- 20.

Additionally in 2012, it is widely believed that more self-identified LGBT union members than ever volunteered on political campaigns coordinated by progressive candidates and coalitions.

Throughout our state, LGBT and labor activists spoke with their co-workers, knocked on hundreds of thousands of doors, and most of all made sure their voice was heard at the polls. CSEA delegates to the annual convention passed pro-equality resolutions, with no debate whatsoever. That was unthinkable just a few short years ago. We proved once again that when the progressive community comes together to fight for the issues that matter to most of New York’s hardworking families, we can accomplish great things as a movement.

Progressive candidates were overwhelmingly successful this year and as a result, our working families are the real winners.

And it’s also worth mentioning U.S. Senator-Elect from Wisconsin, Tammy Baldwin. She shattered a sturdy glass ceiling that’s been in place for more than two centuries. At long last, LGBT Americans will see one of our own take the oath of office in the United States Senate. I am extremely proud to share that news with anyone who will listen.

Other developments that went our way include the re-election of two former Congressmen who should have never left office in 2010. That would be Central New York Congressman Dan Maffei and Florida Rep. Alan Grayson. Both are progressive, fiery lawmakers who completely understand the needs of America’s working class.

With a broad coalition that spanned across America, seven states elected their first or only openly LGBT state law-

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet makers, even in places where some said it couldn’t be done. Now LGBT young people in Arizona, North Dakota, South Dakota, West Virginia, New Mexico, Texas, Florida and Pennsylvania will see themselves reflected in government, and they’ll dream of brighter futures.

In Colorado and Oregon, openly gay and lesbian state lawmakers are poised to win election as Speakers, which would add real power to efforts to expand partnership rights and make their states more welcoming for LGBT families.

A record number of pro-equality candidates have won this year because of supporters like us -- people who refuse to accept an America that treats some of us as less than equal because of how we identify or who we love.

Locally speaking, I’m particularly proud of Democratic lawmakers Rep. Louise Slaughter (NY25), NYS SenatorElect Ted O’Brien and NYS Assemblymember Harry Bronson. We not only have elected officials who fully embrace equality, we have a local delegation that will champion equal rights for years to come.

Again, it has been a truly remarkable year — a year that has yielded positive results for working people. I’m incredibly proud to be part of it, and I’m incredibly grateful to all my colleagues and family for believing in me and supporting this work.

It was truly an election cycle for the ages. And it’s still hard to digest everything that has happened these past few months. However, one thing is for sure -- there is nothing that can stop equality now.

Cleaning My Closet TALES FROM THE BOXES

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger Sometimes my columns bring gifts to me. There are the accolades from my fans…

OK, fan… my sister. The monthly response from my friend of 50 years: “my favorite.” Story tellers sharing their similar experiences.

Succinct reactions from my elders, words like “touching” and “I am sad.”

Seems we are all challenged by boxes.

The standard cardboard cartons, those smelly brown boxes containing indecisiveness. The plastic bins, transparent boxes for holiday clutter and accumulated excess. Boxes with STUFF wrapped carefully, given shelter in our closets, attics, basements, garages.

Some Stashed STUFF is never unboxed. Last month I was somehow reminded that my Leftover STUFF is still squirreled away in the three-car garage and full basement of the big house we vacated twelve years ago. Apparently it slipped my mind.

For two of my aging friends, purging began only when their daughters did an intervention: “Hey mom, time to clear out all this OLD STUFF.” Yes, Life Litter amassed since their families moved-in many years ago… 21 years for one, 37 for the other. Another friend had stored her deceased mother’s stuff for a decade.

Some was trashed. Lots went into the omnipresent neighborhood recycle arena, the Garage Sale.

Empty the cupboards, fill a box. My sister is selling her two houses. That is a whole lot of STUFF. That is a whole lot of hours spent selecting which belongings she will take to create her new home.

And where the Not Chosen will be sent.

It is easy for her to assign duplicates to the Keep or Donate boxes. For heirlooms and memorabilia, she uses her role as Most Elder to fill To-Go Boxes for the next generation. Never-read cookbooks to the newest chef, family photos to the archivist, our mother’s china to her baby sister, me.

Empty the closets, fill a box. Our shared dilemma. Clothes boxes are sup-

posed to be temporary. My sister will need to fill virtually hundreds of boxes with her magnificent outfits for transport to their new walk-in closet space. The rest will travel to an upscale garage sale, the consignment shop.

My niece confessed to having boxes of clothes that might be forever too small.

Her body has shifted from size ElegantExecutive to post-delivery size MotherOf-Twin-Boys. She can only hope that twin-chasing will reshape her.

And I have many portable storage closets for my out-of-season clothes. A necessity in my 1834 closet-challenged house.

Ironically, my recent boxing frenzy was both my temporary solution and the next problem. When my beloveds read my public confession, “I feel boxed-in,” they offered support, asked questions to guide me through despair.

They learned that last month I had cleared every shelf in my house. Initially I felt smothered by the too-many cute and charming love gifts. I removed the clutter.

But mostly I was enraged. Hurt. A crisis had invaded my life. I could not control people, so I controlled things. I boxed up agonizing reminders.

From Wisewomyn, my compassionate cousin, came soothing words about the “…ungluing experience that has rippled its ridges out and wiped clear your shelves.

And we never know... did we just make something better? Or did we just lose our treasures that have brought, do bring, comfort and solidity and familiarity of what is good. It is hard to know.”

Unable to manage the swirling uncertainty, I focused on the physical symbols surrounding me. Frantically altered my spaces. Removed paintings. Relocated artwork from room to room. Banished offending furniture to the garage.

Grabbed objects that dredged up unbearable memories. Filled boxes, Anger Boxes.

Lugged them down the stairs. Not to the recycle bin. Not to the trash. No, I dragged them into the dark of the basement.

Why, my gentle friend asked, did you decide to live on top of a crypt?

“Let me ask you,” queried my longrevered Sage, “you wrapped each item, didn’t you?” His eyes scanned my face.

“And labeled each box.” A statement.

“Can you let them go?” An invitation.

What, I wondered, was I hanging onto? Why was I hoarding the past?

And then my sister sent an email.

“Boxes filled with what you can now label clutter can pile up in your memory, in the closet or be taken to a place outside of your house, that is away physically. Do you need to have the dragging feeling -dragging you back to what was?

“Now might be the time you can build your new self/your present in time self with new things, things which are not tied to the dead but the living -- you living in the present moment, moments.

That will not mean that you have abandoned what went before. It will mean that -- maybe you should tell me what it will mean….”

It will mean change, I told the computer screen.

So I made another sweep through my house, loading my car with frayed quilts and unwanted dishes, ugly curtains, an old trunk, a plain stool, out-dated clothes.

Too weary to continue, I decided that I will face the cellared boxes another day.

First I have to think about them for a while. Then I can retrieve the treasures.

Then I will remove what is toxic.

Yes, change. It will mean that finally I have let go of the burdensome remnants of my ancestors, that I have, at last, released the debilitating pain of the unwanted crisis.

It will mean renewal. Tomorrow two friends will come to my house. Together we will paint the bedroom a peaceful color. It will signify that finally I have allowed Meredith to make a home where she can live in the present.

No poison in the basement. No ghosts allowed.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net

A Few Bricks Short Kris Kringle – Out & Proud

By David Hull Okay, let’s face facts – Christmas is a really gay holiday. I’m sure you’ve heard the Christmas Carol that tells you to “make the yuletide gay.” Then add in all those twinkling lights and shiny bows and sugar plum fairies and, although Christmas may not be as gay as Halloween or the Tony Awards, it’s still pretty darn gay.

And I’m just going to come right out and say it: Santa Claus is a queen.

Don’t act all shocked, you know you have thought about it. Look at the other childhood celebratory icons that are Santa’s peers: Easter Bunny (gay), Valentine’s Day cupid (gay), St. Patrick’s Day leprechaun (gay), the Tooth Fairy (do I even need to say it?) and Baby New Year (maybe not gay, but definitely questioning – I mean, he’s wearing a sash and a top hat, for goodness sake!).

It seems to me Santa must be gay, and not just from the company he keeps (although don’t even get me started on Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer), but because of his whole back story. He lives isolated all the way up at the North Pole obviously because he was tired of being harassed by the town folk for being gay.

And with that bowl-full-of-jelly belly, long, white beard and big boots, he’s clearly a daddy bear! Besides that, his real name is Kris Kringle, but he likes everyone to call him Santa Claus or St. Nicholas or Father Christmas. True, those names are not exactly as catchy as ‘Crystal DeCanter’ or ‘Lois Commondenominator’, but ‘Santa Claus’ still sounds like a drag name to me.

23 What is Santa’s profession? Toy maker. Now I’m sorry, but toy maker ranks right up there with other wellknown, stereotypical gay professions like florist, airline steward, hair stylist and Catholic priest. I can just hear Santa in that workshop now: “I want Barbie’s hair to look fabulous! Make G.I. Joe’s biceps bigger! Batman’s cape needs to swirl more! Can’t you make that Easy-Bake Oven a brighter shade of pink?”

Who helps Santa make all those toys?

It’s a bunch of short, thin guys who like to dance and sing and they all live together in what is basically a big gay commune. The place is full of collectable fashion dolls and delicately decorated sugar cookies and flying reindeer – good heavens; it’s like a gay man’s dream come true!

Oh, and don’t bother bringing up that “Mrs. Claus” argument either. My mother has already tried that one! Mrs. Claus is obviously just a big fag hag!

She’s fame-hungry and since her only job skills are cooking baking and hot chocolate making, she knew she’d never get anywhere on her own other than a job at Starbucks or Panera. She just latched on to Santa and she’s working it for all it’s worth. That whole part of the story is really just sad.

Admit it, only a gay man would travel around the world in a reindeer drawn sleigh. It isn’t like any other animalpowered forms of transportation that are pulled by mules or oxen or even six white horses – no, Santa works with eight tiny reindeer. Really! And even if you have a voice like James Earl Jones, you can’t say those reindeer names without sounding a little bit gay – Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. I think Dancer and Prancer were the names of a gay couple who hung out at a bar I used to frequent years ago.

As far as I’m concerned the Aurora Borealis isn’t caused by solar flares and the Earth’s atmosphere, but by the reflections from Santa’s giant disco ball when

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By Brandon Brooks I must admit, when I saw my first “It Gets Better” video post on YouTube, I was skeptical. I was skeptical because I had seen videos directed at LGBT youth and even LGBT adults in the past urging them to “stay strong and fight on.”

Most of these videos, along with their positive and much-needed messages, ended up lost within the millions (or maybe billions) of other videos on YouTube. But as the number of LGBTdirected videos for the “It Gets Better” Project grew rapidly (along with its press and celebrity endorsements), my skepticism lifted and, dare I say it, even I was affected positively.

The number of teen/youth LGBTrelated suicides is terribly high (one is really too much to begin with); we all know this. A life-affirming message, in an environment that lacks positive images and messages concerning LGBT persons, is an essential component for the LGBT youth demographic to feel valued, lovable, “good” and motivated to live on. A message as simple as “it gets better” can, and has, saved lives as well as raised awareness of LGBT individuals (and more importantly civil rights) across the globe.

So where’s the spilt tea in that, you might ask? As with most full cups of tea

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What’s Bothering Brandon?

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they have 70s night at the North Pole.

Those elves must love the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever!

Of course, if you’ve ever read this column before, you know that I think most everything is gay, ice hockey, comic books, bird watching, animated movies, so I could be mistaken about this whole thing. But, if nothing else, you have to admit, that red suit with the fur trim that Santa wears for the holidays is just fabulous!

You can contact David at davidhull59@ aol.com

in my tea service, the potential for it to be knocked over is always there, and I haven’t overlooked the potential spills of this project either. My worries with the “It Gets Better” project lie within its interaction with the momentum of the LGBT civil rights movement.

Sure, the message directly expresses that for LGBT individuals, life does indeed improve once one is beyond the realms of middle school and high school, college or even graduate school. What the message does not directly express is how this gets better, and in what way.

In a time when many young LGBT persons are disconnected from the work our LGBT foremothers and forefathers have done for us, I worry that this youth generation may simply expect our circumstances to “get better” without any real work taking place. What’s worse, I worry that this expectant sense of entitlement may put the LGBT civil rights movement on the back-burner, as LGBT youth may not put forth the effort that is needed to keep this movement strong.

It is a harsh (and possibly premature) concern to possess, but spilt tea must be wiped up before it stains the doilies.

What I do hope will take place is that the “It Gets Better” project is taken to heart by LGBT youth and adults alike.

And I mean “taken to heart” in the sense that the message is adopted as a personal responsibility by all LGBT individuals to fulfill socially, religiously, legally and civically.

More and more around me I see LGBT youth who are unaware of the struggles and accomplishments of those who have fought before us, avoiding the responsibilities of our present, and shirking the legacy we should be bestowing upon our future LGBT generations.

I do not wish to say (or imagine) that the “It Gets Better” project outfits, shall we say, the lackadaisical nature of today’s youth at large, but only that this project may unintentionally cater to this generation’s love of inheritance without future cost. One of our biggest barriers to overcome may be our youth’s own prodigality when it comes to our past achievements, and prospective accomplishments.

So here’s a year’s end toast to making that barrier less formidable, and more mountable for generations to come. We must seize the opportunity to capitalize on our successes, instead of pushing them away. After all, nobody likes oversteeped tea. ■

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(Columnists continued from page 23)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

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dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

ComeoutDancin’ ComeoutDancin’ will meet on Sunday, Dec. 2 for Swing and Salsa. All dances take place at The Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Charlotte St. across from the East End Garage), between 3-5 p.m. Admission is $5. All are welcome including family and friends. For more info call 585-436-9526.

Sunday, Dec. 16 is the CELEBRATION DANCE! ComeoutDancin’ will hold its Last Dance, a celebration of our love for life and dance. All are welcome including family and friends. ADMISSION IS FREE. This is ComeoutDancin’s last dance session. It’s been a great ride.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the months of December 2012 and January 2013.

First Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music; second Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music; third Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; fourth Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Supper; fifth Sunday (December 30): NO SERVICE. We love thinking up fun themes for our potluck suppers Here are the themes for December and January: In December, it is “Comfort and Joy!” In January, try to bring “Something New for the New Year”.

Can you think of some foods that fit in these categories? Bring them along and join us for the evening! No time to cook?

Just bring yourself and a friend or two and join us for food and fun!

Mark your calendars for Friday, Dec. 28 and plan to join us for the 6th Annual Christmas Hymn Sing. It is being held at 7 p.m. at the Church of St. Luke and St. Simon. Tim Schramm is presiding over organ and piano to lead us once again in singing all our favorites. The event is free and is followed by a cookie and punch reception.

Call our Hotline or check us out on the web for further details!

EMPIRE BEARS

Brrrr, it’s cold out there! Cuddle up with a furry bear in a cave and keep warm.

The Empire Bears do that every Wednesday evening. Supper with the guys at the Wintonaire at 6 might be followed by line dancing at 140 Alex or maybe a

movie. We love the low prices at the Cinema. Don’t you?

On second Saturdays we get together at the GAGV Community Center at 6:30 for a potluck. You’re welcome to join us Dec. 8 and Jan. 12. Some of us will be catching the Big Wig show at Golden Ponds in December from the 6th-9th. It’s always a blast.

Then the Gay Men’s Chorus has their concert Friday and Saturday December 14th and 15th. Many of our members and friends sing in the chorus, and we always enjoy the concerts and going out afterwards.

The Empire Bears welcome new friends to join them Wednesdays for supper at the Wintonaire, or at a potluck.

Looking to meet some new friends who like movies, cards, games, camping, and eating out? Join us.

JUST US GUYS On Dec. 11 we will gather for our annual end of year and Holiday Pot Luck Dinner at AIDS Care in the lower level break room.

Gathering time is 6 p.m. with dinner at 6:30 p.m. Guests and visitors are welcome to attend this event.

During this month our members and friends are encouraged to support the Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holiday concert on Dec. 14 or 15 at Hochstein. This concert is always a highlight of the holiday season.

At this time there are no plans for a meeting on Jan. 8. Our members will be informed by email about the next scheduled gathering.

Just Us Guys extends our holiday wishes to all and our best for a healthy, happy 2013 New Year. For more information about the group and the December Pot Luck Dinner, contact Ron at 7292259 or email rmatter1@rochester.rr.com.

Prostate Cancer Support for Men A newly forming Prostate Cancer Support Group had an organizational meeting on Nov. 13, which was attended by 33 people. The group’s purpose is to bring awareness to men surviving prostate cancer that support is available. It is open to diverse men of all ages; partners are welcome.

The group will begin regular meetings this month. The December meeting will be held on Dec. 13, and meetings will be held on the second Thursday of each

25

month, from 7-8:30 p.m. in the Memorial Art Gallery Cutler Union, 500 University Ave. According to the National Cancer Institute, prostate cancer ranks second as the cause of cancer-related deaths among men in the U.S. and industrialized countries. Peer-driven support systems, however, are non-existent outside clinic settings in this area. UsTOO International Inc. is a global not-for-profit organization dedicated solely to awareness and support for men surviving prostate cancer; branches already exist in Buffalo, Batavia, the Southern Tier and NYC. More information is available at 585790-9971 and at UsTooRochesterNY@ gmail.com; www.sites.google.com/site/ ustoorochesterny

Bachelor Forum on Jan. 19 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.

The Rochester Rams M.C. is Rochester New York’s foremost gay motorcycle and leather club as well as being one of the oldest clubs of its type in the country.

All who are interested in the leather club scene are invited to check us out. Our general meeting is open to the public and we meet the Wednesday before bar night at 7:30 p.m. Meetings are held at our home bar, the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. Our next general meetings will be held on Dec. 12, Jan. 16 and Feb. 13. For more info, visit our website: www. rochesterrams.com.

Rochester Butch Femme Connection

On Saturday, Oct. 27, we celebrated our one-year anniversary as the Rochester Trans Group (RTG)!

We had 20 people show up, including members of Rochester PFLAG (Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays.)

Emily Henninger, Maur Delaney and Pam Barres did the Trans 101 presentation and then, even though we had some technical glitches, we showed the video “Trans Basic,” and then we partied!

Now for some BIG thank yous: Thank you to Anya for your audio expertise in getting the sound so we could actually hear the video!

Thank you to Ally Cowie who has volunteered to be on our Steering Group and a co- co-facilitator for the group!

Thank you to Pam Barres for getting things started and being one of the (unscheduled) speakers!

Thank you to Sue Barres for her baking skills for the delicious marble anniversary cake she made for us.

Finally, big thanks to Emily Henninger who has completely revamped our website making it more informative, interactive, and fresh! Definitely check it out at: www.rnytg.org for what’s coming up and to be able to stay in touch with each other.

And now what’s happening for the next two months: Dec. 29, Saturday from 3–5:30 p.m. we will cheer the end of this year (which has been full of major events for RTG: The April Meeting of the Groups – that had such an amazing turnout! Which led to us marching in each other’s cities for the Pride Parades in Buffalo, Syracuse and Rochester for the first time! Heard some great speakers on topics from inter-

The Rochester Butch-Femme Connection will have one supper event in December 2012 and two supper events in January 2013.

On Saturday, Dec. 15, we will meet at Jay’s Diner on West Henrietta Road (Route 15) in Henrietta at 7 p.m.

In January 2013: On Saturday, Jan. 5, we will meet at Hibachi Sushi Buffet in Southtown Plaza on Jefferson Road in Henrietta at 7 p.m.

On Saturday, Jan. 19, we will meet at OPA! Greek Restaurant at 7 p.m. in Henrietta, across from Outback Restaurant on Jefferson Road just east of Rte. 39.

NOTE: 1/19/13 limited to the first 20 persons who RSVP to 585-288-7208, seating limited. For further information on the Connection, contact Kerry/ Max at (585) 288-7208, email DressyFemme@aol.com or check out our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/ bfconnection .

Rochester Rams M.C.

The Rochester Rams wish to thank the community for their overwhelming support of our annual toy drive. Once again, you have extended the deepest generosity to those in need and we are sure you have their thanks. We offer you the warmest wishes for the holiday season.

Winter is upon us and it’s time to bundle up. Join us for Long Johns bar night at the Bachelor Forum on Dec. 15 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. We will be operating a coat and clothes check. Don your work gear and join us for Carhartt night at the

Rochester Trans Group

26 sex, to Two Spirits, to how to deal with the police and at that meeting even got to critique the proposed Rochester Police Dept. policies on handling trans people with respect, and now the revamped website (just wow!) with an end of the year holiday party.

Jan. 26, Saturday from 3–5:30 p.m. we’ll have an open discussion and plan out (at least roughly) what we want to do in 2013. Pass GENDA! So come on, end (or begin) the year by coming to a meeting. You’ll meet some great people, learn a lot, and hey, even have some fun! We meet in the Gay Alliance Community Center, located in the Auditorium Theatre, 875 E. Main St., first floor, on the last Saturday of each month between 3-5:30 p.m.

Parking is available in the back of the theatre off of Prince St and College Ave. Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and they have instructions to let you in without paying the parking fee.

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus RWCC will be Singing in the Rays in January. Gene Kelly made Singing in the Rain popular many years ago; now the Rochester Women’s Community Chorus will do the same with Singing in the Rays, of sunshine that is!

Whether or not the January weather cooperates, the 45 singers in the RWCC will bring light to its audience on what will likely be a cold, dark night. The concert, which features a repertoire of sunlight-related pieces, is entitled, “Here Comes the Sun”. It will be held at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 at St. Anne Church, 1600 Mt. Hope Ave. Please note that this concert date is a change from our usual preholiday performance.

The RWCC will also be bringing some sunshine to the community during these long winter months. This post-holiday season concert, the chorus will be accepting donations of non-perishable foods to be collected for local food cupboards.

Based on particular needs this time of year, canned vegetables are suggested.

So, join the RWCC for an evening of warmth and light and… pass the veggies, please!

ROMANS ROchester MAle NaturistS (ROMANS) is a social organization of gay naturists who enjoy camaraderie in the nude.

We are gay, bi, and gay-friendly men over the age of twenty one. We are all sizes, big and small. We are single, partnered, married, and divorced. We are short and tall, wide and thin, quiet and outgoing. We are young and not so young, furry and smooth. ROMANS is an inclusive social group for all men who are gayfriendly, who love to laugh and learn, and who enjoy nude social activities.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013 Our Christmas dinner party will be on Dec. 15 at 5 p.m. The hot tub will be cranked up for a warm dip after supper.

Visit the Romans web site where an application for membership and information about the club is available. http://www. wnyromans.com or E-mail:wnyromans@ yahoo.com, call our message line at 585281-4964 or write ROMANS, PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Team Rochester @ Gay Games 2014 Team Rochester’s organization meeting this past October at Bamba Bistro went very well with several people attending.

So far, our list includes friends who are interested in golf, wrestling, marathon, half marathon, track, volleyball and bowling. Several other people expressed interest in attending as fans and supporters.

Since there are 35 sports, there is plenty of opportunity for competition, in addition to competition within various age groups within that sport.

Cleveland might be the closest the Gay Games are to Rochester, so let’s join together to represent our region. Check out the Gay Games website: www.gg9cle. com. Early Registration is $135 until December 31, 2012. For more information, contact: thomaso510@mac.com ■

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dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment RGMC sings in Dec., RWCC in January The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will perform their holiday concert, “Joyful and Triumphant,” on Dec. 14 and 15, at 8 p.m. at Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 N. Plymouth St. The RGMC is celebrating their 30th anniversary in 2013 and hopes to have their second CD ready for sale this month. More information at www.thergmc.org.

The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus will bring light to its audience with “Singin’ in the Rays” on what will likely be a cold, dark night. The concert, which features a repertoire of sunlightrelated pieces, is entitled, “Here Comes the Sun”. It will be held at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 19 at St. Anne Church, 1600 Mt.

27 Hope Ave. Please note that this concert date is a change from their usual preholiday performance. The chorus will be accepting donations of non-perishable foods to be collected for local food cupboards.

MOCHA Center to host Masquerade Extravaganza Dec. 29 The MOCHA Center, Inc. presents a Pre-New Year’s Masquerade Extravaganza on Saturday, Dec. 29, from 8 p.m. – 2 a.m., at VIBE Lounge, 302 N. Goodman St. (Village Gate).

The fundraiser to support programs and services at the MOCHA Center will feature DJ Reign. Admission is $30 advance (online & MOCHA Offices in Buffalo & Rochester) and $40 at the door.

Ticket Information is available at www.mochacenter.org; MOCHA Rochester – Sheila Fowler (585) 420-1400 x32; MOCHA Buffalo – Dorothy Wedge (716) 852-1142 x13. ■

Equal Grounds hosts AIDS Memorial Quilt panels through Dec. 7 Equal Grounds Coffee Shop presents the sixth annual Rochester AIDS Memorial Quilt in honor of World AIDS Day, Dec. 1. This is the only opportunity to see the AIDS Memorial Quilt in the Rochester area through December 2013. The four quilt panels will be at the shop from Friday, Nov. 30 through Friday, Dec. 7.

Save the Date!

February 9

John Waters

ImageOut brings A John Waters Christmas to Hochstein on Dec. 16 Have a Very John Waters Christmas -- a holiday treat that will make you appreciate the insanity of the Yuletide season.

You’ll never think about Christmas the same way again after seeing filmmaker John Waters’ cheerfully depraved one-man show, “A John Waters Christmas,” set for 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 16, at the Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 Plymouth Ave. The outlaw hero of underground cinema happens to love Christmas – in fact he’s obsessed with it and that is what the show is about. Waters says, “Some people hate (Christmas) or don’t believe in it. I know some people find it a very stressful time. I have advice for everybody (whether) you love or hate it – it’s a selfhelp show.”

Waters discusses what he wants for Christmas, what you should want, how to handle every holiday disaster, Christmas crime, and Christmas movies. He will take you into a world that might induce squeamishness if he weren’t your trusty guide. The New York Times said, “Delving into his passion for lunatic exploitation Christmas movies and the unhealthy urge to remake all his own films into seasonal children’s classics, ‘The Pope of Trash’ will give you a Joyeux Noel like no other.”

Widely known as the writer and director of the PG-13 Broadway and

motion picture hit Hairspray, Waters has put his stamp on American cinema with a body of work that celebrates a perverted aesthetic that embraces and exalts the transgressive and offensive – and delivers it in an x-rated, smart, tart and lifeaffirming way.

But don’t be misled – Waters is a serious artist with a solid resume of cult and mainstream film classics in addition to being a best-selling author and actor. He has helmed the likes of Johnny Depp, Melanie Griffiths, Rikki Lake, Kathleen Turner, and the irrepressible Divine in such classics as Polyester, Female Trouble, Serial Mom, Cecil B. Demented, Crybaby and Pink Flamingos. Waters also has inspired a generation of Hollywood filmmakers and appeared in films by Jonathan Demme and Woody Allen.

Tickets for the show are $35 and available online at ImageOut.org. Prior to the performance, Waters also will appear at a VIP reception from 5 to 6:30 p.m. at The Ellwanger Estate, 625 Mt. Hope Ave. Tickets for the VIP reception are $50 for ImageOut members.

Additional sponsors include Outlandish Videos and Gifts located at 274 North Goodman St. (Village Gate).

Reach them at (585) 760-8383. The event is presented by ImageOut: The Rochester LGBT Film and Video Festival. Please note that “A John Waters Christmas” contains adult content.

Gay Alliance 2012 Red Ball Community Valentines Dance The Ruby Masqueerade Saturday February 9, 2013, 7-11 pm Raffles & Prizes Wine & Beer Lounge Celebrating Community, Love, Friendship & the Gay Alliance’s 40th Anniversary Cathedral Ballroom Auditorium Theater 875 E. Main Street Give your sweetheart a stock-stuffer!

Tickets: $10/Advance; $15/door Buy your tickets now. www.gayalliance.org www.gayalliance.org

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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Gay alliance news for dec-JAN 2013

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Youth

Gay Alliance Youth Program

The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to: Explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun!

Wed./Thursdays: 3:30-7:30pm Fridays: 7-9pm Coming Out/Being Out Support Group Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm (13-18 yrs old)

Volunteer of the Month: Bruce Woolley A native of New York City, Bruce Woolley came to Rochester 45 years ago to earn a Ph.D. in history at the U of R. Returning to the University from two years in the U.S. Army (drafted, not his idea of a good time), he was a member of the Gay Liberation Front as a River Campus graduate student.

Retired in 2009 after a career in college administration, Bruce volunteered to help out at the Gay Alliance Library when he discovered it crowded into a very small room in the 5th floor office suite and was also asked to join Shoulders To Stand On, the Gay Alliance’s heritage committee. A passionate lifelong reader who sought out gay books when they were far fewer and often hard to find, he views the Gay Alliance Library with its more than 6,000 volumes as an important community resource and is always pleased to help library patrons to discover authors and works that are new to them.

As a trained historian, Bruce cares about preserving our past and gladly descends to “the dungeon” to work on projects in the Gay Alliance Archives.

Because so much of our gay and lesbian past was spoken among cognoscenti in hushed tones and rarely written down, it is a challenge that Bruce is enthusiastic about to rediscover and document our past. Whether researching in the Rochester City Archives or muckraking through myriad rolls of WE Magazine on microfilm, Bruce is committed to uncovering our local history. As he says, “Communities with a known past count”.

Gerry Szymanski, Gay Alliance Librarian, adds that “Bruce is an invaluable part of the Library & Archives team. He’s done an amazing job of organizing our run of the Empty Closet and is entirely deserving of this honor!” ■

Holiday Wine Tasting

To benefit Gay Alliance Youth, hosted by Wine Sense, 749 Park Avenue. Thursday, Dec. 13, 2012, 6-8pm. Suggested donation $5 Join us to sample wines for all of your holiday needs: Dinners, Parties, Gifts. Each $5 donation enters you to win a fabulous Wine Sense New Years Gift Basket. Sponsored by the new PFLAG/Gay Alliance Youth / Parents Booster Club!

Empowering pride for forty years.

Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm (13-18 yrs old) Remix Young Adult Support Group Fridays 5-6pm (18-20 yrs old) Gay Alliance Community Center Auditorium Theater Bldg, 1st Floor 875 E. Main Street, Rochester Phone: 585-244-8640 Check out our weekly programs descriptions and special events: www.gayalliance.org/events/youth

Reunion Gay Alliance Youth Program Reunion!

The Gay Alliance celebrates 40 years in 2013 ! It’s the perfect excuse for a reunion!

Friday, January 4, 2013 7-9pm Did you attend Gay Alliance Youth Group or other youth programing as a teen? You’re invited to our January Friends and Family Night for a Reunion Party! Come on down! Catch up with friends you haven’t seen in a while.

Meet today’s teen participants and reminisce on the “good old days.”

Tickets $10 and available online at: www.gayalliance.org

Speaking Engagements November 2012 11/3...........Creating LGBT Culturally Competent Environment at National Institute of Domestic Violence Awareness & Prevention 11/5...........LGBT Aging Issues in Social Work at GRC MSW Program 11/5...........Sex and Chocolate Health Fair at University of Rochester 11/6...........LGBT History at SUNY Brockport 11/6...........Protest and Public Policy at SUNY Brockport 11/6...........LGBT Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport 11/7...........Coming Out Party Fair at MCC 11/7...........LGBT Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport 11/7...........LGBT Customer Service at Rochester Plaza Hotel 11/8...........LGBT Issues in Social Work at GRC MSW Program 11/9-10......SpeakOUT Training at Gay Alliance 11/11.........LGBT Issues at Brockport Unitarian/Universalist Fellowship 11/13.........Safe and Inclusive Schools at Wheatland Chili High School 11/13.........LGBT Aging Issues at Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly 11/14.........Cycle of Violence at Rose and Joseph Denaro Interfaith Center 11/15.........Transgender History and Campus Inclusion at SUNY Geneseo 11/16.........SafeZone Training at Nazareth College 11/20.........Safe and Inclusive Schools at Gay Alliance for SUNY Brockport Students 11/29.........Building Your GSA at Webster Thomas High School

Where we’ve been since January 2011 These are the places where the Gay Alliance has been from January 2011 through December 2012, and this is how we have impacted YOUR life: 211-Lifeline • Aging & Adult Services/Catholic Family Center • AIDS Clinic at U of R • Alfred University • Alternatives for Battered Women • Anthony Jordan Health Center • Asbury 1st UMC Youth Group • Asbury 1st United Methodist Church • Bloomfield High School • BOCES 2 • Brockport Library • Brockport Unitarian/ Universalist Fellowship • Bullying Prevention Conference • Catholic Family Center • Center for Teen Empowerment • Center For Youth • Children’s Mental Health Coalition Conference • Christina A. Agola, Attorneys and Counselors at Law • Churchville/Chili School Dist • City of Rochester Bureau of Recreation • Consumer Credit Counseling • Corning, INC • Cortland Prevention Resources • Crime Victim’s Conference • DePaul University • Dignity/Integrity • Docu-source • Downtown United Presbyterian Church • East Rochester Elementary School • Easter Seals • Eastman School of Music • Edison HS Project Search • Education Conference at SUNY Brockport • Empire State College • Excellus BCBS • Finger Lakes Community College • First Unitarian Church • First Universalist Church • Franklin High School • Genesee Valley School Board Institute for Staff Development• Geriatric Medicine Grand Rounds at MCH • Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly • Greater Rochester Collaborative MSW Program • Halpern Education Center • Harley School • Hillside • Hillside AIY Program • Hillside/Young Mothers Program • Hilton High School • Hobart & William Smith Colleges • Holley High School • Huther-Doyle • IBERO/PRYD • Indian River Central School District • Irondequoit Library • Irondequoit United Church of Christ • Jewish Community Center • Leadership Genesee Program • LifeSpan Eldersource • Mayo Clinic • MCC Bullying Conference • MCC-Damon City Campus • Memorial Art Gallery • Metro Council for Teen Potential • Monroe Community College • Monroe Community Hospital • Monroe County JSEC Program • Monroe County Pretrial Services • Monroe County Public Defenders Office • Nat. Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence • National Institute of Domestic Violence Awareness & Prevention • Nazareth College • National Center for Victims of Crime • North East Regional Prides Convention • North Street Recreation Center • National Technical Institute for the Deaf • NY Civil Liberties Union • NYS Advancing Youth Development • Out and Equal Conference • Pittsford Mendon High School • Pride and Joy Families Conference • Rape Crisis Service • Rochester Institute of Technology • Rochester City Rec Centers • Rochester City School District • Rochester Kink Society • Rochester Outpatient Clinic for the VA • Rochester Plaza Hotel • Rochester Rehabilitation • Rochester Trans Group • Safe School Summit at Gay Alliance • Safer Monroe Area Re-Entry Team training • School Without Walls • SOAR Youth Group (Monroe County Youth Bureau) • St. John Fisher College • St. Joseph’s Villa • SUNY Brockport • SUNY Brockport Health Symposium • SUNY Geneseo • SUNY Morrisville • Susan B Anthony Institute • Threshold Youth Conference • U of R Psychiatric Residents • United Nations Association of Rochester • United Ways African American Leadership Development Program • University of Rochester • VA Hospital and Outpatient Services • U of R Warner School • Webster Thomas High School • Wegmans School of Pharmacy • Wheatland Chili High School • Wilson Commencement Park • Winton Library • YMCA Regional Conference • and the YWCA

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately.

We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Web: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Board Co-Presidents: Emily Jones, Bruce Gorman Education and Outreach Director: Scott Fearing Business Manager: Joanne Giuffrida Director of Intergenerational Programs: Kelly Clark Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for dec-JAN 2013

SAGE PAGE

day, except major holidays. Open Arms MCC is our first community partner to co-host once a month.

Open Arms will co-host Dec. 11, with a lunch and an “open mic amateur hour” performance where attendees will be encouraged to step up, share a story, joke or musical presentation with prizes awarded. We hope and look forward to you joining us to provide a fun environment for all by becoming a community partner. Don’t delay; contact us to reserve your spot today – 244-8640.

The Raging Grannies brought their songs of peace and justice to the Rainbow SAGE at the Center on Oct. 30. Photo: Susan Jordan

Let’s Do Lunch, Again!

Lunch will once again be the anchor of Rainbow SAGE at The Center programming. After a few months of looking for a new food vendor, we have found a wonderful and reliable source -- Rochester’s own FoodLink! Beginning Tuesday, Dec. 4, older adults can receive a hot lunch for a suggested donation of just $3.

“When Rainbow SAGE at The Center hours first started in May, we offered soup for lunch at a nominal cost but suspended it after our food vendor moved out of our service area,” says Intergenerational Programs Director Kelly Clark.

“We are excited to contract with Freshwise at FoodLink to provide a full lunch that includes a hot entrée, a vegetable, and fruit most importantly at the same cost to our guests,” adds Clark.

Lunch is served at noon on Tuesdays. Guests are asked to RSVP and invited to stay for afternoon programming at The Center, which ranges from movie showings and games days, to educational presentations and field trips.

For more information, please call Ashley at 244-8640 x31.

Rainbow SAGE at The Center New Winter Hours

We recognize that during the winter months many of us choose to hibernate in the comfort of our own homes. So beginning this month we are consolidating Monday programs into Tuesday and offering one super day of programming.

From December to April, join us on Tuesdays from 11:30 a.m.

-3 p.m. for the programs you enjoy most plus a hot lunch! Rainbow SAGE at The Center is open to LGBT individuals and allies who are over fifty. Remember, you don’t have to be a member of Rainbow SAGE to come to Center programming!

Calling all Community Partners

Rainbow SAGE at the Center is looking for community partners to co-host our weekly program. We would like to invite organizations to partner with us once monthly or periodically throughout the year providing an activity, information on your organization, or just providing company for our seniors.

Our center is open every Tues-

Rainbow SAGE at The Center

Happy Holidays!

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City of Rochester as Recreation Leader in 1987, at the Edgerton Community Center. He retired in 2011 from the City as Coordinator of Athletics and Aquatics.

John also served the community through Recreation and was known for his role with summer employment for Recreation and Athletics programs. He worked for the Red Cross as a CPR and First Aid instructor and as treasurer of the Tony Jordan Youth Sports Foundation. John was also a founder of the Men’s Cooking Group.

His family asks that donations be given to the following in his honor: American Red Cross, Greater Rochester Chapter, 50 Prince St., Rochester 14607-1016, and The Tony Jordan Youth Sports Foundation, PO Box 13702, Rochester NY 14613.

‘Tis the season…as the EC and the Gay Alliance take a break this month to enjoy all the season has to offer, we encourage you to check out the Gay Alliance web page (http://www.gagv.us/events/ sage-events.htm) to fill yourself in on the activities taking place in the Center for January! We wish you all safe and happy holidays and we look forward to seeing you all in the upcoming weeks!

Recipe Round-up

Are you adventurous and creative in the kitchen? Do you love to prepare and sample new recipes? Prepare your recipe at home and bring enough to share samples with everyone at the center on Jan. 8. Please bring your recipes in written form to share (we can make copies if needed). We’re hoping to tickle some taste buds and have a lip-smacking good time!

The Gay Alliance Library & Archives has internet access available during library hours: Tuesday 1-3pm and Wednesday: 6-8pm.

The computers are part of our David Bohnett Cyber Center.

Obituary: John D. Kerr, 9/12/55-11/10/12 John D. Kerr was born in Auburn, the son of John H. Kerr and Julie Guter Kerr. He received a BA from SUNY Geneseo in 1977 and worked there for the Athletic Department. He then joined the

December/January Calendar

The Center is open for adults 50+ Tuesdays 11:30am-3pm. Hot lunch served at noon! Suggested donation $3.

Internet access, Billiards. Library open 1-3pm.

December 4.............. 1pm................. Movie: “Strangers in Good Company” December 11............ 12 noon........... Open Arms MCC Open Mic Amateur Hour December 18............ 12:30pm.......... Holiday Celebration Dec 25 & Jan 1........ CLOSED for the Holidays January 8................. 1pm................. Recipe Round-up January 15............... 1pm................. Make your own rice sock January 22............... 11am-3pm....... Open Arms MCC mask making and decorations for the Ruby Masqueerade coming up in February January 29............... 11am-3pm....... December and January Birthday Bash Bonanza *Activities are subject to change. Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E, Main Street, 1st floor (585) 244-8640

Wish List This holiday season make our dreams come true. Now you can be a big gay Santa just by sitting down at your computer.

The Gay Alliance has written its wish list. Simply go to Amazon.com and next to your “Shopping Cart” you will find See “Wish List.”

From the pull down menu, select “Find a Wish List, “ then search for the “Gay Alliance.”

On our wish list you will see requests from our Youth and Senior Programs, from our Library and our Education and Outreach Programs.

A few clicks and your gift will be in Santa’s sleigh.

Gifts from Amazon will be noncash donations and you will receive recognition for tax purposes. However, in-kind gifts do not qualify as membership.

Questions? Write to us at Info@ gayalliance.org HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL from the Gay Alliance staff and board!

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Senior Center Tues 11am-3pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor, 244-8640; kellyc@ gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: Third Sunday of the month, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 14624. 1-3pm. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529.

Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance.

Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

AIDS Care AIDS Care is the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes.

On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. AIDS Care satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community.

Contact Information: Website: www.acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-4545556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies.

(585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored

by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 9625063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday.

262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care.

Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon.

315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

TRANSGENDER

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7:30pm, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St. first floor.

Ages 13-18. 244-8640; kellyc@gayalliance.org

Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Transgender online: Transenough.com; www.endtransdiscrimination.org; genderfork.com; www.transgendercare.com; International Foundation for Gender Education Gender Education and Advocacy http://www.gender.org/; FTM Information Network http://www.ftminfo.net/; Transgender at Work http://www.tgender.net; PFLAG Transgender Network http://community.pflag.org/ page.aspx?pid=380; TransActive http://www. transactiveonline.org; The Transitional Male http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/; National Center for Transgender Equality http://transequality.org/; New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy http://www.nyagra.com/; Transgender Aging Network http://forge-forward.org/aging/; Transgender Law Center http://transgenderlawcenter.org; Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund http://transgenderlegal.org/; The Self Made Men http:// theselfmademen.webs.com/ (please send us your favorite sites/groups) Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women’s health

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs, support services free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

GAGV Anti Violence Referrals 585-244-8640 ext 19. For women and men.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

ROC The Day 12.12.12 Choose. Give. Matter.

How much good can be done in a day? Find out on 12/12/12, as Rochester comes together to make a positive impact in people’s lives.

ROC The Day and you’ll have a chance to win an additional $500 for the charity of your choice. (800) 242-0238

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Monday

L.O.R.A. – Late Bloomers Group For women who are just coming out! 4th Monday of the Month. 6:30pm – 9:30pm. FREE. Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Website: www.l-o-r-a. com

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516.

Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group, Mondays, 7pm, 140 Alex Bar. To reserve space: 467-6456; bdaniels@frontiernet.net.

Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 1-3pm; 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds.

426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Tuesday

L.O.R.A. – Knitters Group Everyone Welcome! 3rd Tuesday of the Month.

7pm – 10pm. FREE. Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a. com; Website: www.l-o-r-a.com

Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. 2nd Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men.

Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org.

Rainbow SAGE Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor.

MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday L.O.R.A. – Poker, Cards & Gaymes!

Everyone Welcome! 3rd Wednesdays of the Month. 6:30pm – 9:30pm. FREE. Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Website: www.l-o-r-a.com

U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com

Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave. Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 Brighton-

Henrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated

by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights.

8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com.

Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm.

AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Wednesdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursday

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862.

GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Gay Alliance Youth Thursdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13.

Coming Out Being Out Youth Support Group 6:30-7:30pm; ages 13-18 Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13.

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7pm, Ages 13-18, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13.

Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com

FRIDAY

L.O.R.A. – Foodies Group 2nd Friday Potluck Social. 2nd Friday of the Month. 6:30–9:30pm. FREE – Bring a dish to pass! Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Website: www.l-o-r-a. com

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting.

Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

GAGV Remix Young Adult Support Group Ages 18-20. 5-6pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor.

Prince St. entrance, 244-8640, kellyc@ gayalliance.org L.O.R.A. Potluck & Games Night Fourth Fridays. GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor 6-9:30pm, 585-313-3037; E-mail: info@l-o-r-a.com. http://www.facebook.com/L.O.R.A.14464; www.l-o-r-a.com Womyn’s Drum Circle Fourth Fridays. 6-9:30pm, GAGV Youth Center; E-mail: info@womynsdrumcircle.org; Website: www.womynsdrumcircle.org.

SATURDAY

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, Youth Center, 875 E. Main, 1st floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys.

1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com.

Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sunday

L.O.R.A. GLBT Sunday Brunch Everyone Welcome! 1st & 3rd Sundays of the Month. 11:30am – 2pm. $11.95 per person.

Golden Ponds Restaurant – 500 Long Pond Rd. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Website: www.lo-r-a.com

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) 3rd Sundays, 1-3pm. Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 244-8640 x 27; pflag@gayalliance.org.

Gay Alliance Library & Archives Sunday hours ended.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188.

Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper.

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting

33 Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm.

Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.

Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings.

Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013

Dec-Jan 2013

Classifieds

SATURDAY 1

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

World AIDS Day/AIDS Awareness concert. First Universalist Church of Rochester, 150 South Clinton St., hosts 12th Annual World AIDS Day Benefit Concert and Panel Discussion. Tickets $15 general admission, $5 with student ID, available Outlandish (Village Gate, 274 North Goodman St.), Equal=Grounds (750 South Ave.), or door. Information: http://www.facebook.com/doingthepositivething/ or http://www.acrochester.org/.

SUNDAY 2

ComeoutDancin’. Swing and Salsa.

Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Charlotte St. across from East End Garage), 3-5 pm. $5. 585-4369526.

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

THURSDAY 6

“Changing Hands: Art Without Reservation.” Benefit for Friends of Ganondagan, 6-9 pm, Memorial Art Gallery, 500 University Ave. $40 general, $100 Patron, information at 276-8945.

SATURDAY 8

Empire Bears potluck, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor, at 6:30 pm.

SUNDAY 9

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

FRIDAY 21

Winter solstice.

SUNDAY 23

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Supper; theme: “Comfort and Joy.” 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

FRIDAY 28

Dignity Integrity Hymn Sing. With Tim Schramm. 7 pm at the Church of St. Luke and St. Simon.

SATURDAY 29

Rochester Trans Group meeting, 3-5:30 pm., Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor.

MOCHA Center Pre-New Year’s Masquerade Extravaganza. 8 pm–2 am, VIBE Lounge, 302 N. Goodman St. (Village Gate). DJ Reign. Admission $30 advance (online, MOCHA Offices in Buffalo & Rochester); $40 at door. www. mochacenter.org; MOCHA Rochester, Sheila Fowler (585) 420-1400 x32; Buffalo, Dorothy Wedge (716) 852-1142 x13.

MONDAY 31

New Year’s Gala. 6:30 pm-1 am. Staybridge Suites, 1000 Genesee St. Tickets $45 advance only; available at Outlandish, Equal Grounds, Staybridge Suites.

Hosted by LORA. 585-313-3037; info@lo-r-a.com.

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

JANUARY FRIDAY 4

Just Us Guys. Holiday Pot Luck Dinner at AIDS Care in lower level break room. 6 pm; dinner at 6:30 pm. Info: Ron at 729-2259 or email rmatter1@rochester. rr.com.

SATURDAY 12

TUESDAY 11

WEDNESDAY 12

Rochester Rams general meeting.

Bachelor Forum, 7:30 pm.

Gay Alliance Annual Meeting. 6 pm, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., fourth floor.

THURSDAY 13

Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking event. 5:30-7:30, Strathallen.

Wine Tasting to benefit Gay Alliance Youth, 6-8 pm, Wine Sense, 749 Park Ave. $5 suggested donation. Hosted

by PFLAG, Gay Alliance Youth Booster Club.

Prostate Cancer Support Group.

Memorial Art Gallery Cutler Union, 500 East Ave. Second Thursdays, 7:30-8:30 pm. 585-790-9971.

FRIDAY 14

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holiday concert, “Joyful & Triumphant,” 8 pm, Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 N. Plymouth. Tickets available Parkleigh, Outlandish, Equal Grounds; www. thergmc.org.

SATURDAY 15

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus holiday concert, “Joyful & Triumphant,” 8 pm, Hochstein, 50 N. Plymouth. Tickets available Parkleigh, Outlandish, Equal Grounds; www.thergmc.org.

Rochester Rams Long Johns Night.

Bachelor Forum, 9 pm-2 am.

SUNDAY 16

ImageOut hosts A John Waters Christmas, Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 Plymouth Ave., 7:30 pm. Tickets $35, available at ImageOut.org. VIP reception, 5 to 6:30 pm at The Ellwanger Estate, 625 Mt. Hope Ave. Tickets for reception $50 for ImageOut members.

ComeoutDancin’. Celebration Dance and final ComeoutDancin’ event. Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. (entrance on Charlotte St. across from East End Garage), 3-5 pm. $5. 585-436-9526.

Gay Alliance Youth Group Reunion.

7-9 pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor. $10; available at www.gayalliance.org.

Empire Bears potluck, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor, 6:30 pm.

TUESDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for February issue. 244-9030; susanj@gayalliance.org.

Rochester Rams general meeting, Bachelor Forum, 7:30 pm.

SATURDAY 19

Rochester Women’s Chorus concert, “Singing in the Rays.” 7:30 pm at St. Anne Church, 1600 Mt. Hope Ave. Rochester Rams “Carhartt” Bar Night, 9 pm-2 am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.

SATURDAY 26

Rochester Trans Group meeting, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St. 3-5:30 pm. ■

Do Good Work Make Good Money The Gay Alliance is seeking a reliable, energetic self-starter to sell Empty Closet advertising for a generous commission.

For more information, phone Susan Jordan at 244-9030 or e-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for ages 5 to 12. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m., 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc. org; (585)271-8478

SERVICES

Wedding space and clergy services available. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. oamcc@frontiernet.net.

(585) 271-8478.

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Start off by RELAXING with a gift session for a friend, partner or yourself!

Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction. Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence.

Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@ rochester.rr.com.

World renowned weddings. 42 years performing same sex commitments, now

marriages (it’s about time!). Nancy BB Meyer minister, God is Love-Animals are Angels ministry. 585-733-6213.

HELP WANTED

Senior Director or Organizational Advancement. AIDS Care seeks a senior director who is well-connected and actively engaged in the community with extensive experience in non-profit development/fundraising, marketing, public and media relations, market research and strategic planning. Bachelor’s Degree in Non-Profit Administration, Marketing, Development, Management, or a related field required. Master’s Degree preferred.

Apply Online at www.acRochester.org/ careers Day Health Care Manager - Temporary. AIDS Care seeks a temporary Day Health Care Manager to assist the Associate Director of Day Health in the development of care management services; coordinate participant care within the Day Health program and with external providers. This is a 12 week assignment, ideally becoming a long term intermittent coverage position. LMSW highly preferred or an RN Case Manager or M. Divinity and licensed by NYS, with experience in HIV, Substance Abuse and/or Mental Health. Apply Online at www. acRochester.org/careers ■

dec-jan 2013 • number 463 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 © 2012, All rights reserved.

Bed & Breakfast

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact.

Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas.

Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month.

Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us.

The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate.

Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life.

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney.

Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed.

We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected.

Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month. Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester 14624 from 1 to 3pm.

Join us!

Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 463 • dec-jan 2013