Empty Closet, November 2013 by Out Alliance

The Empty Closet

local, state and national news, newsmaker interviews, opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars, comics, and health resources

number 473

Gay Alliance to host annual meeting Nov. 20 The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley will hold its annual meeting on Nov. 20 at 6 p.m. at MVP Health Care, 220 Alexander St. For more information call 244-8640. ■

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley

novemBER 2013

Candidates to Watch

Rochester Mayoral election, november 5, 2013

It’s a wrap Page 27

Contents Editorials....................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Legal aid: Deaf issues.... 7 Opinion........................................15 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: ImageOut..........27 Gay Alliance: Volunteer appreciation..................................30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Comics................................ 34, 35 Proud Publisher of New York State’s Oldest Lgbt Newspaper

Gay alliance PARTNERSHIPS The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

Platinum Level

Excellus

Trillium Health

Logical Operations

Alex White Candidate for Mayor of Rochester

Lovely Warren Candidate for Mayor of Rochester

By Susan Jordan Alex White is running for Mayor of Rochester on the Green Party ticket. He is a strong supporter of LGBT rights. He told The Empty Closet, “I’ve been to rallies, have marched in the Pride Parade and wrote an article in support of the marriage act and how business owners should support it. The Green Party feels we should have equal rights for all.” White himself owns a small business and he believes that backing LGBT rights is good for businesses like his and for the local economy. If elected, White says he would not appoint an LGBT community liaison – he would ask the LGBT community to appoint someone and he would accept whoever that person was. “That’s the big difference “I’ve been to rallies, have marched in the here,” he said. “I Pride Parade and wrote an article in support know there are people in the of the marriage act and how business owners LGBT commu- should support it. The Green Party feels we nity who know their issues and should have equal rights for all.” I want them to educate me.” He feels that his opponent, Democratic Party primary winner Lovely Warren, has a history of being against marriage equality and gay rights in general. “At the first Democratic Committee meeting,” he said, “she was asked about DOMA and she came out pretty much against repealing it.” How can a third party candidate win in our two-party political system? White responds that the race for mayor of Rochester is not a three-party race, since no Republican candidate is involved. “We’re not a third party,” he said. “We’re the second party in this race! Our strategy is to let all the community groups who oppose Lovely Warren and David Gantt know that we will support them. That would include labor, the LGBT community and a lot of the neighborhood development groups.” White feels that the current administration has disappointed many neighborhood groups. He said, “When Bill Johnson left office, he left with the Neighbors Helping Neighbors program intact. Duffy turned it into Neighbors Helping the City. Membership has declined. The city now charges political groups and others $75 to hold a block party. If we in my neighborhood wanted to have an Averill/Clinton block party, we’d have to pay $75. I feel all of these groups would benefit from a Green Party/Alex White administration. Lovely Warren voted $20 million for the marina project and I don’t know how that helps inner city neighborhoods. The marina would cost us; that $20 million could have gone for housing rehabilitation. Which is more important – marinas or taking care of dilapidated neighborhoods? She voted tax exemptions and loans to building companies last month. If you ( White continues page 3)

By Susan Jordan Lovely Warren is president of Rochester City Council and is the Democratic nominee for mayor. At the Rainbow Flag Raising last July she told the crowd that she has moved beyond her former disapproval of LGBT people. She told The Empty Closet in October, “Watching ‘Shoulders To Stand On’ I thought that I grew up in a world where I did not have the privilege of interacting with gay and lesbian people before I went to college. I don’t believe the government or anyone should tell people who to love. With gay marriage I believe I had to grow into my thinking and expand. “I mentored a young woman in high school; her relationships with men were “I had to examine my own beliefs and ask really rocky. She started to date myself if I was being discriminatory in a woman and my own thinking…. I was being a barrier before my eyes she started to to progress. I don’t want that to happen. I grow and blosbelieve everybody should be treated equally.” som. She went on to college because her partner encouraged her and believed in her. I had to examine my own beliefs and ask myself if I was being discriminatory in my own thinking. “I had a heart-to-heart with a young man also and they opened my eyes and showed me how I was being a barrier to progress. I don’t want that to happen. I believe everybody should be treated equally. I believe in being a voice of reasons for all causes. Watching ‘Shoulders To Stand On’ and seeing what people I know had to go through – it was really powerful for me.” Warren added that she has spoken with a trans woman who changed her understanding of gender issues as well. “I met a trans woman through my legislative office,” she said. “We talked for many hours and she said she had started the process of transition, but the government would not allow her to take the extra step. I wondered, ‘How could you stand in the way emotionally and cause pain to someone?’ I clearly understood the toll it takes on a person to be in a body where they don’t feel whole.” At the Pride flag-raising in July, Mayor Tom Richards and City Council member Matt Haag announced the appointment of a City Hall LGBT liaison, Molly Clifford. When asked if she would keep Molly Clifford on in the post, or possibly appoint a different liaison, Lovely Warren replied, “I’ll definitely make sure we have an LGBT liaison. It’s important to have someone representing every portion of the community. It was a great initiative that Mayor Richards and Councilmember Haag announced and I look forward to carrying it on.” ( Warren continues page 3)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

Hard times for satirists “Saying that they needed to be in peak physical condition for their looming effort to defund Obamacare, over a hundred House Republicans lined up for their free annual physicals today…. “Rep. Cantor added that he had lost a few pounds since last year’s free annual physical, as he headed to lunch before defunding food stamps.” -The Borowitz Report in The New Yorker, posted on buzzfeed. com, Oct. 2. Last month it became clear that these are hard times for satirists; reality was a satire already. Andy Borowitz did pretty well, though. Jon Stewart got in some digs at Faux News for its “reporting” on the shutdown: “How bad can it be if it doesn’t personally affect Sean Hannity?” Michele Bachmann is definitely a satire already. She equates government-funded healthcare with crack cocaine addiction. Yeah people love that healthcare rush, but maybe they should break their out-of-control addiction to seeing their doctors and getting all that medication they can’t afford, and do the Right thing – just lie down and die. Some of the news was hard to laugh at. The thought of kids going hungry without food stamps, while Teapublicans stuffed their faces at the latest hundred-thousand-dollar-a-plate

anti-Obama fundraiser, is not funny. Then there are the mothers of newborns who depend on WIC for infant formula. Let them eat cake? The 26 states with the highest concentrations of poverty have rejected the healthcare expansion funding: they are home to 68 percent of poor, uninsured blacks and single mothers and 60 percent of the working poor. Coincidence? Forget Head Start, kids. Also, at the National Institutes of Health, nearly three-quarters of the staff was furloughed. One result: director Francis Collins said about 200 patients who otherwise would be admitted to the NIH Clinical Center into clinical trials each week were turned away. This includes about 30 children, most of them cancer patients, he said. But brave Teapublicans rose up against the evil socialist fascist Obama plot to provide affordable health coverage to everyone! Oh wait, that’s out now, we’re just going to default… or no we’re not… er, never mind…. Whatever. But even though our national parks were shut down, a dozen of them still remained open for gas drilling and mining. Thank God our multinational corporation-persons didn’t lose money! Let’s turn to the sports pages. At least they are always a relief from the news. Hmmm… the International Olympic Committee (IOC) says there’s nothing bad happening to gays in Russia, and even if there is, they have no control over what Olympic host countries decide to do to their citizens, as long as it doesn’t contravene the Olympic Charter. Wait -- isn’t that what they said when they rejected a boycott of Hitler’s Germany hosting the 1936 Berlin Olympic Games? Well, yes, but the IOC marketing people and corporate sponsors don’t want any distractions from the TV ads next February. Maybe we’d better forget about the news and concentrate on the important things in life – if we can remember what they are. ■

W. Bruce Gorman, Co-President and Secretary Emily Jones, Co-President, David Zona, Treasurer, John Altieri, Chris Hilderbrant, Jeff Markarian, Peter Mohr, Jessica Muratore, Steve Santacroce, William Schaefer

Gay Alliance Executive Director Scott Fearing

Building Community In the documentary film “Shoulders to Stand On,” Whitey LeBlanc, one of the founders of the Gay Alliance, explains that our name was carefully and purposefully chosen as a statement about our mission. “...Alliance was chosen to signify different community groups coming together,” he explained. From the beginning the Gay Alliance was meant to give us a strong, unified voice and a broad Rochester presence. That desire to speak with a common voice remains a critical part of the work we do. However, we know that we are not experts on every LGBT identity and experience, so we work hard to understand the breadth and depth of our communities. To remain as inclusive as possible we strive to be an active part of Rochester’s LGBT efforts and the ever-changing landscape of LGBT realities. We work to remain the strongest voice for the LGBT Communities in Rochester. That said, we often call upon our community partners to bring their unique voices to the discussion. It is not uncommon for the Gay Alliance to get a call from a media outlet or some other institution looking for information about an LGBT issue, and we will quickly send them to talk with MOCHA, ImageOut, Trillium, Open Arms, Victory Alliance,

The Gay Alliance:

Name

Forty years of advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. Join us for forty more!

Address

Gay Alliance Board of Trustees

Planned Parenthood, NYCLU, or any of the dozens of other partners that we regularly work in alliance with. “Shoulders to Stand On” was also an important reminder that we have come a long way since the days when being “a homosexual” meant that you were sick. No longer are we relegated to the doctor’s office, therapist’s couch or the asylum for being who we are. Being LGBT does not require medical experts, but instead requires us to be community experts. The community building lessons that come from watching “Shoulders to Stand On” are many and are a reminder to us, as an organization and as individuals, of the importance of being fully engaged. Get Kinky As you may have already heard, the Gay Alliance is working to increase the number of Sustaining Members that we have. What is kinky about that? We are running a Kinky Incentive. If you become a Sustaining Member between now and the end of the calendar year, your name will be entered to win a pair of free tickets to see “Kinky Boots,” the hottest show on Broadway. Sustaining membership is the easiest way to support the Gay Alliance. Rather than trying to remember to send in a check or waiting for us to call, you simply arrange for your monthly gift to automatically come out of your bank account (or be charged to your credit card). For as little as $5 a month you can become a sustaining member of the important work that the Gay Alliance does for LGBT people everywhere. You can call us (585-244-8640), email us (donor@gayalliance. org), or go directly to our website to show your support. If you complete the online donation form, look for the boxes that say FREQUENCY and AMOUNT. And who knows, maybe you will be the lucky one to win a pair of tickets to “Kinky Boots”. ■ 11/13

City/State/Zip Phone E-mail Membership Levels: ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100-999 Champion ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Check enclosed in the amount of _________ (check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of __________ To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # ____________________________Exp. Date: _______ ❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged. ❏ Please provide me Rainbow SAGE program news (age 50 & over). Benefits include: Subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership in the Gay Alliance.

Gay alliance PARTNERSHIPS The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

Gold Level

City of Rochester Absolut/Malibu

Silver Level 3 Olives Baccardi

Barefoot Wine Hedonist Artisan Chocolate John’s Tex Mex

Bronze Level Ameriprise Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Corning Inc. Equal Grounds Coffee House Harter Secrest and Emery LLP ImageOut Jaegermeister Kittleberger Florist and Gifts Labor Federation Macy’s New York Life Out and Equal NY Finger Lakes Outlandish Sky Vodka St. John Fisher Tompkins Enterprises Victory Alliance Wegmans Woods Oviatt Gilman LLP

Champion Level Mass Mutual of Buffalo Park Avenue Merchants Association Pride @Work Third Presbyterian Church The Woolbright Group HCR Home Care

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

page one (Alex White from page 1) drive through her district and talk to the neighbors – how do they feel?” How would a Green Party administration bring businesses and money to the city? White said, “This is the assumption you’re working under, that presently we’re successful bringing money to the city. Yes, we’re building Erie Harbor, a $50 million city investment, that will pay $7,475.35 in taxes yearly. How long will it take to repay that investment? Eighty percent of all projects that get tax breaks are rentals. So we’re giving landlords big breaks and that’s NOT bringing in tax benefits. The city now gives money to non-essential projects.” White says that homeowners who pay taxes are better for the city than rental units. He commented, “I’m a small business guy and we have increasingly restrictive regulations. If you look at cities that are recovering now, they’re getting ‘empty nesters’ who are buying city properties, fixing them up and re-selling them. Then you get increasing home ownership, which is what you want – not these rentals at Brooks Landing, Erie Harbor and many more. This is how we’re developing and it’s the path toward bankruptcy. Rochester’s debt load has increased one-third in the past two years. The city can afford to give better rates than the banks and then the houses support property values rather than lowering property values. “I’d also like to see the end of the plague of vacant houses. In the last four years we’ve built 5,000 units of housing, most subsidized by the city, but our population doesn’t increase – that means more vacant housing. “I want an urban homesteading plan where renovated houses already there go for a small fee to people who promise to live there and keep them up to code for five or ten years, with a penalty if they don’t follow through. People can’t get a Home Equity loan to fix their roof, so the house gets foreclosed and sits vacant. I’d like to address all parts of the problem. Clean up neighborhoods and buy the houses, fix them, close out the mortgages and sell the houses back to the owners, so we would be getting taxes on those properties. “The Green mayor of Richmond, Calif. bought 600 houses and re-negotiates loans with over 85 percent of homeowners. They get reasonable rates and can stay in their houses, rather than foreclosing and letting the houses stay vacant.” White also feels the city could establish more sensible policies on road upkeep. “The oil and gravel mediation we use now gets into our sewer system – you can smell the gravel trapping all sorts of material and clogging it up. It’s hell on our street cleaners. It’s a bad, expensive process. Let’s just fix our roads – like using ‘mill and fill’ – you at least grind it down and rebuild new surfaces, if you can’t afford to replace the whole street. “Another big thing is trash. We used to have ‘Adopt the ( White continues page 6)

page one (Lovely Warren from page 1) About improving conditions in inner city neighborhoods, Warren said, “I would love to support a southwest supermarket. Grocery stores are definitely important and we do have access to fresh fruit and vegetables through our community gardens. Breaking the concentration of poverty is important in inner city neighborhoods. I’ve been reading about places like Atlanta, where the city took one of the most impoverished parts of the community and focused on a holistic approach, dealing with employment, housing and education. “It’s a model focusing on a small geographic area, providing resources and the human capital to make sure we are meeting the challenges. We have a skill set deficiency here – we don’t have enough people to do the jobs available. Building on human capital means working with local educational institutions to focus on skill set deficiency. MCC is currently working on developing a relationship with the business community. Then we need to develop relationships with the people in the neighborhoods, to give them training and access to jobs. There are businesses currently in Rochester looking for people, but they don’t have the skills.” Warren said she thinks that crime, education and improving public schools are equally important issues. “I think you have to focus on all of them at the same time,” she said. “If someone is not educated they are more susceptible to crime. It’s a circle. So, to me, you have to develop a holistic approach to each different neighborhood. “For instance, in Charlotte you don’t have a high crime area, but their needs are really about developing the shore and making sure the tax base isn’t too high or too low. In other neighborhoods you need to focus on crime and education. I would meet with representatives of different neighborhoods – you need community involvement.” She contrasted former Mayor Bill Johnson’s approach with those that followed and said, “I believe you could find a middle ground where you foster relationships with neighbors to make decisions about when, where and how funds should be used.” On crime, Warren said, “You have to shut down open air drug markets. There’s the High Point model in North Carolina, where you bring in drug offenders and say ‘we could prosecute you but we have parole and other ways to help you if you stop selling drugs’. We can also prosecute buyers of drugs. I would work with the police chief and RPD to see how they would solve the problems.” Warren feels that taking down area drug lords, as opposed to the guys selling on the street corner, is the responsibility of federal agencies like the FBI, with which the city is working. Referring to the shutdown of Teen Court to save money, Warren commented, “I believe in Teen Court, as an attorney I felt it was effective… You’d have to find the money (to re-open it). I’d like to focus on family ( Warren continues page 6)

NewsFronts Local and State

Abby Wambach marries longtime girlfriend Sarah Huffman in Hawaii Abby Wambach of the U.S. women’s national soccer team and New York Flash married her longtime girlfriend Sarah Huffman in Hawaii over the weekend of Oct. 5. The ceremony took place on the beach at sunset in front of the couple’s closest family and friends. Wambach tweeted Oct. 10: “Sarah and I wanted to thank everyone for all the love and support. We couldn’t be happier. What an amazing week it’s been. #honeymoon” Until Oct. 10, Wambach had never spoken publicly about her sexual orientation. Huffman came out earlier this year with an announcement in support of Athlete Ally. Cyd Zeigler, the co-founder of Outsports.com, told the Windy City Times that Wambach’s coming-out, though not a shocker, certainly is a “big deal.” “She’s one of the biggest female athletes to ever come out,” Zeigler said. “Certainly Billie Jean [King] and Martina [Navratilova] are legends, but after them, it’s hard to think of bigger female athletes to come out. I can’t think of a bigger female soccer player right now than Abby Wambach. She’s a superstar.” Brandi Chastain, a teammate of Wambach’s on the USA’s 2003 World Cup team, told USA Today that she’s thrilled for the couple. “I knew about Abby’s engagement, I played with Abby for years,” Chastain said. “I’m very happy for her like I am for all my teammates and friends who get to experience that love that goes along with getting married. I’m thrilled for her.”

Gays call out gay Dems, including NY’s Maloney, for voting with GOP on shutdown Bisexual Arizona Rep. Kyrsten Sinema and gay New York Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, both Democrats, voted with House GOP to shut down the government and are being taken to task by LGBT advocates for doing so, the Washington Blade reports: “I strongly support the president’s decision to give employers more time to comply with the law, and I believe that we should give families the same flexibility we’re giving to our small businesses,” Maloney said. Maloney also explained his support for eliminating health care subsidies for government employees by saying the playing field for public and private workers should be equal. “Families and businesses in the Hudson Valley are not getting special subsidies from Obamacare and neither should members of Congress or the

White House,” Maloney said. In a separate statement, Sinema defended her votes by saying they ensure individuals can sign up for health care plans without “being punished” for failing to purchase adequate healthcare coverage. Michelangelo Signorile tears them a new one in an October HuffPost piece: “Since taking office, Sinema has voted with the GOP against economic justice issues that progressives, including LGBT activists, view as crucial. Both she and U.S. Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney (D-N.Y.), an openly gay former Clinton aide, also elected for the first time in 2012, have voted with big banks and Wall Street time and again. “Right out of the gate, Maloney, who took a lot of Wall Street money, voted with the GOP on the debt ceiling early this year, and actually co-sponsored a bill that would roll back reforms of the very Wall Street practices that led to the economic collapse. He even voted with the GOP to take authority over the Keystone XL project from the president. Like Sinema, he

3 also voted to jeopardize Obamacare or shut down the government. And he too was supported in his election campaign by the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, the Human Rights Campaign, and other gay and progressive groups, touted as a progressive. “Think about this: On what is arguably the most important debate in Congress, two of nine Democrats who voted with the tea party-led blackmailers are openly gay or bisexual. Two of only five openly gay or bisexual members of the House voted with the extreme far right to undermine the president. “Veteran recording industry executive Howie Klein, the founder of the progressive Blue America PAC and an openly gay man himself, has been criticizing both of them for their votes for months. He told me that Sinema had been calling him throughout last year’s campaign, looking for money. He’d known her and liked her, having served with her on the board of People for the American Way, but he told me that when he had her fully vetted, he was “horrified” by her record. Blue America is now actively recruiting a candidate to run in the Democratic primary against Sinema. “Some say it’s better to have Democrats like Sinema and Maloney than to possibly have a Republican in the seat. If it means they have to vote with the GOP, especially if the vote isn’t pivotal, then so be it, the thinking goes. But that breeds the most cynical kind of politics and drives people away from participating when we need to bring them in.” The Blade adds: “Sinema and Maloney have been active on LGBT-specific issues since their election to Congress. They voted for an LGBT-inclusive version of the Violence Against Women Act reauthorization and signed a friend-of-the-court brief urging the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act.” Are they, as blogger Mike Rogers told the Blade, “DINOs (Democrats in Name Only)” and “sellouts” who Signorile suggested in a tweet should “meet the fate of Christine Quinn?” Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/#ixzz2gmd5SXma

Self Made Men to host Transgender Day of Remembrance The Self Made Men group is hosting a Transgender Day of Remembrance Vigil on Nov. 20. The event is 7 p.m. at the entertaining center in Rustic Village Apartments across from MCC. All are welcome. For more information on TDOR events, see Opinion, page 15 and Calendar, p. 34.

Trans Community Forum is set for Nov. 12 at Trillium Trans* World Today: A Community Forum will take place on Tuesday, Nov. 12, 7-9 p.m., at Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. A panel of experts will address the current status of healthcare, employment, civil rights and more as they consider best practices for creating ( Trans continues page 6)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

NewsFronts national and international

Newark Mayor Cory Booker married seven couples just after midnight on Oct. 21 at Newark City Hall’s rotunda.

Rev. Tom Pivinski, a retired Catholic priest, married three couples on Oct. 21 in Asbury Park on the Jersey shore.

First wedding bells ring in New Jersey; Christie gives up appeal An excited Newark mayor and now Senator-elect Cory Booker married seven gay couples on Oct. 21 at midnight: “It is officially past midnight, marriage is now equal in New Jersey,” Booker said to applause and cheers. Booker, who had never officiated a wedding since becoming Newark mayor in 2006, called the occasion one of “the greatest privileges and honors” and “one

of the most magical moments” of his life. Booker officiated the weddings inside the rotunda at Newark City Hall. Each couple also took turns cutting cake. Following the Oct. 21 marriages of same-sex couples in New Jersey, Governor Chris Christie announced that morning that he would no longer appeal the lower court ruling guaranteeing the freedom to marry. Evan Wolfson, founder and president of Freedom to Marry, released the following statement: “At long last, the freedom to marry is now permanently law of the land in New Jersey. The marriages of lov-

ing, committed couples throughout the Garden State, combined with Governor Christie’s withdrawal of his appeal, is joyous news to New Jerseyans, both gay and non-gay. The momentum continues to build nationwide and we are working hard to deliver victories in Hawaii, Illinois and New Mexico yet in 2013.” The very first couple to marry was Joanne Scailey and Beth Asaro, who were married by the mayor of Lambertville, N.J. The couple has been together for 27 years. FOX29 reports: Asaro, a City Councilwoman and Schailey, a registered nurse were legally married in New York. They also had a civil union ceremony in Lambertville in 2007, but on Oct. 21 they made it official. The town’s mayor performed the historic ceremony, fitting for a town that has one of the largest percentages of gay and lesbian couples. “I’m a 57 year old heterosexual male. I took it for granted that growing up I can get married and have a family, you know now Beth and Joanne can have the same dreams and aspirations and heartbreak, but it’s full citizenship,” Lambertville Mayor David DelVecchio said. In addition to the midnight weddings in Lambertville and those officiated by Cory Booker in Newark, three gay couples were married shortly after the clock struck 12 on the steps of the Paramount Theatre at the boardwalk in the Jersey Shore town of Asbury Park. Reverend Tom Pivinski, a retired Catholic priest, officiated the weddings. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2iMVrbIW9 A New Jersey judge had ruled that same-sex couples must be allowed to marry in order to obtain equal protection under the state constitution and ordered them to begin by Oct. 21. New Jersey is the 14th state (plus D.C.) with marriage equality. In a summary judgment issued Sept. 27, Judge Mary Jacobson said that the federal government recognizes gay marriages, and not doing so in New Jersey would violate the state constitution. Judge Jacobson granted a summary judgment requested by Garden State Equality, which had claimed that the U.S. Supreme Court’s rejection of the federal Defense of Marriage Act meant that same-sex couples in civil unions in New Jersey were being denied equal protection. NJ.com reports: “The gay rights groups Garden State Equality and Lambda Legal had argued that after the U.S. Supreme Court extended more than 1,000 tax and inheritance benefits to same-sex couples in June, New Jersey was left behind with second-class civil unions. Jacobson, the head judge in Mercer County, agreed.” “The ineligibility of same-sex couples for federal benefits is currently harming same-sex couples in New Jersey in a wide range of contexts,” she wrote. For example, the judge said, “Civil union partners who are federal employ-

ees living in New Jersey are ineligible for marital rights with regard to the federal pension system, all civil union partners who are employees working for businesses to which the Family and Medical Leave Act applies may not rely on its statutory protections for spouses, and civil union couples may not access the federal tax benefits that married couples enjoy.” Jacobson was asked to square the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in June striking down the Defense of Marriage Act with New Jersey’s own legal precedents. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force “This is a significant victory for same sex couples in New Jersey. The state’s motto is ‘Liberty and Prosperity’. Now lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender couples will get the chance to experience the ideas behind the motto through the freedom to marry. We applaud Garden State Equality, New Jersey United for Marriage, ACLU and Lambda Legal on today’s victory. We’ll celebrate today, and tomorrow we will continue the hard work of changing legislators’ hearts and minds until the freedom to marry is guaranteed for all New Jerseyans,” said Rea Carey, Executive Director, National Lesbian and Gay Task Force. Human Rights Campaign “Civil unions are separate and unequal, particularly in light of this year’s historic Supreme Court term,” said Human Rights Campaign (HRC) president Chad Griffin. “There are no rational arguments why couples in New Jersey should be relegated to second class status. State officials should not appeal this sound decision and no longer stand in the way of loving couples being able to make a lifelong commitment with full state and federal recognition.” ACLU “This is a great day for all of New Jersey. The court has recognized the love and commitment that same-sex couples share is no different from anyone else’s,” said Udi Ofer, executive director of the ACLU of New Jersey. “The U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Windsor to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act made it clear that civil unions discriminate against same-sex New Jersey couples. Today’s decision leaves no doubt that only the freedom to marry provides the equality that same-sex families deserve. We encourage the state to respect the court’s decision and to not further prolong the inequality suffered by New Jersey families. The ACLU-NJ will continue to work with our allies across the state to encourage the legislature to bring full equality to New Jersey as soon as possible.” “The court got it exactly right. Civil unions aren’t marriage, and they aren’t equal,” said James Esseks, director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. “No married couple would trade the word ‘marriage’ for the words ‘civil union.’ But while we praise today’s ruling, committed same-sex couples shouldn’t have to wait for the courts. The legislature should grant them the freedom to marry now.”

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Harvey Milk

Harvey Milk will be first gay on postage stamp Even in death, Harvey Milk is still achieving firsts. The slain LGBT rights icon will become the first openly gay person to be featured on a US postage stamp. The US Postal Service confirmed on Oct. 10 that the stamp will be issued sometime next year. “Another first!’’ the honoree’s nephew, Stuart Milk, stated on the Facebook page of The Harvey Milk Foundation. “My deep gratitude to everyone that supported this effort!” Milk became the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California when he won a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977.’ Milk was only in office for 11 months but was responsible for passing a stringent gay rights ordinance for the city. On 27 November in 1978, Milk and Mayor George Moscone were killed by Dan White, another city supervisor who had recently resigned. His story was told in the 2008 film Milk which won Academy Awards for Sean Penn (best actor) and screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/slain-lgbt-rights-heroharvey-milk-be-honored-us-postagestamp101013#sthash.g3UErHX4.dpuf

Exxon Mobil will now give benefits to LGBT employees On Sept. 27, in response to mounting legal pressure from the national LGBT organization Freedom to Work, as well as new Labor Department guidance stemming from the Supreme Court’s marriage equality decision, Exxon-Mobil announced that they would be updating their employee benefits policy to include same-sex couples. “Today is a victory for the freedom to work. After years of stubbornly refusing, we commend Exxon for joining the majority of the Fortune 500 business

leaders that already treat gay and lesbian married couples equally under employee benefit plans,” said Tico Almeida, founder and president of Freedom to Work. “It’s a shame Exxon waited until after the Labor Department issued official guidance explaining that their old policy does not comply with American law, and now it’s time to move forward. “It’s time for Exxon to stop wasting its shareholders’ money by running up legal bills on discrimination proceedings that can be settled right away if the corporation would simply add LGBT protections to Exxon’s official equal employment opportunity document,” added Almeida. “We’d like to begin settlement talks next week in our Illinois lawsuit stemming from evidence that Exxon gave hiring preference to a less qualified straight applicant over a more qualified lesbian applicant.” The news comes after Freedom to Work brought a legal complaint earlier this year against Exxon-Mobil, after the organization, in cooperation with the experts at the Equal Rights Center, sent nearly identical resumes to Exxon’s office in Patoka, Illinois, and Exxon gave hiring preference to a lesser qualified straight applicant over a more qualified lesbianidentified applicant. Exxon Mobil is the nation’s most profitable corporation, and has been singled out by the Human Rights Campaign as the only corporation ever to receive a negative score (-25) on a standardized rating from zero to 100. Freedom to Work chose to bring this case in Illinois, as the State outlawed sexual orientation discrimination in 2006, while other states, like Texas, where the organization also found evidence of Exxon’s anti-LGBT hiring discrimination, have no such law.

Kuwait readies “gaydetector” to keep LGBTs out of the country Not that anyone would ever think of Kuwait as the ideal destination for a lavender holiday, but the country wants to make sure that you don’t get the chance to visit at all. The government is planning to screen people entering the country to make sure that they are not LGBT. “Health centers conduct the routine medical check to assess the health of the expatriates when they come into the GCC [Gulf Cooperation] countries,” Yousouf Mindkar, director of public health at the Kuwaiti health ministry, said. ”However, we will take stricter measures that will help us detect gays who will be then barred from entering Kuwait or any of the GCC member states.” Just what these mystical medical tests might be aren’t detailed. Kuwait criminalizes homosexuality, with a penalty of up to ten years in prison. The country has conducted ongoing campaigns against the LGBT community, arresting LGBT teens and trans citizens. -Queerty

Antigay forces fail to repeal San Antonio nondiscrimination Anti-gay forces in San Antonio have failed to gather the required signatures needed to place a repeal of the recently passed LGBT non-discrimination bill on the public ballot. Pastor Gerald Ripley, a petition leader, estimated the group collected about 20,000 signatures, well below the required 61,046, or 10 percent of eligible voters. The council adopted the ordinance last month after lengthy debate about its protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Religious conservatives claimed it would restrict their rights of free speech and conscience, and a coalition of more than 50 churches and ministries launched a petition drive to force it to a referendum. Not all churches opposed to the ordinance joined in, Ripley acknowledged. He said the outcome may have been different if city rules allowed for more time and if he had reached out more proactively to nonchurchgoers. San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro cheered the failure. “I’m glad people can move on from divisive attempts to undo an ordinance that was always commonsense about treating everybody the same,” Castro said. On Sept. 5 San Antonio City Council passed the controversial ordinance that prevents discrimination against the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Opponents promised to fight to repeal it. Ripley decided to build a website. A total of 53 churches from across the city officially registered on the site in order to collect petition signatures. Interestingly, no Catholic churches took part in the repeal drive.

Did NOM leader violate U.S. law in Russia? National Organization for Marriage (NOM) President Brian Brown made a secret trip to Russia in June to meet with members of the Russian Duma. Joined by five French-Catholic anti-gay activists, Brown advocated for legislation that would ban gay foreigners, including gay Americans, from adopting Russian children. However, doing so may have been a violation of U.S. law. Fred Karger, President of Rights Equal Rights, has written to Secretary of State John Kerry and Attorney General Eric Holder asking them to investigate whether Brown’s trip violated the Logan Act. Passed in 1799 and amended as recently as 1994, the Logan Act is a “federal statute making it a crime for a citizen to confer with foreign governments against the interests of the United States”: “Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspon-

5 dence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.” Brown even spoke to Russia 1’s Vesti news program while in Moscow. According to Right Wing Watch, Brown told reporters: “Right now you’re having the fight about adoption, but the adoption issue is indivisible from the marriage issue. If you don’t defend your values now, I’m afraid we’re going to see very negative developments all over the world.” Five days after Brown gave a “remarkable speech” in the Russian Duma, that same body passed a bill that banned gay couples and single parents in countries that allow gay marriage from adopting Russian children. It is unclear at this time whether Secretary Kerry or Attorney General Holder will investigate Brown’s trip and if so whether they will level charges against him. Rightwing extremist Scott Lively is being sued in a Mass. court by gay Ugandans for crimes against humanity, for his promotion of the “death to gays” law in Uganda.

Baryshnikov blasts Russia on oppression of gay citizens By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com Mikhail Baryshnikov, former principal dancer with Russia’s Kirov Ballet, has blasted his former homeland over its treatment of LGBT people in a statement released by the No More Fear Foundation. “My life has been immensely enriched by gay mentors, colleagues and friends and any discrimination and persecution of gay people is unacceptable,” the 65-yearold dancer and actor wrote. “Equal treatment of people is a basic right and it is sad that we still have to even speak about this in [the] 21st century. “I salute [the] No More Fear Foundation for stepping in so quickly to provide the much necessary assistance to gay and lesbian people who are fleeing prosecution [in Russia] and help[ing] them lead a proud life in their new country.” The New York based No More Fear Foundation is a not-for-profit organization supported by prominent members of the New York City legal, financial, business and entertainment communities that provides a lifeline to resettlement services to LGBT Russian individuals, couples and their families seeking refuge and asylum in the United States. Russia has passed a law banning the so-called propaganda of homosexuals to minors which effectively outlaws any public positive action or expression around (Baryshnikov continued page 6)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

( White from page 3) Neighborhood’ and neighbors would choose and hire the local unemployed people who collected their neighborhood trash. That would be more effective than ‘Clean Sweep,’ which is just once a year. Under Johnson it was one or two people pulling a tote through the neighborhood once or twice a week. Once a year doesn’t address long term problems.” White also believes that a municipal power company, locally owned, could provide power at much lower rates. “People and businesses could all save money on this. Property tax breaks could encourage solar power. Electricity wouldn’t be free but, like in Fairport, it would be NEXT to free. Why aren’t we pursuing this?” On education, White says, “Education isn’t the mayor’s job. Paying for it is. Daycare in schools would make a huge difference to parents and it isn’t expensive, but the city won’t do it…. Where would Warren get money for school vouchers? That would take public money from public education…. We had to drop Teen Court this year. That’s where volunteers keep youth out of jail. They get alternative penalties and recidivism rates are very low – most of the kids don’t get in trouble again. It’s unconscionable that they did this to save $50,000!” On crime, White said, “Problems are not simple. There are usually no simple solutions. But sometimes there are. Policing has to do with management. Too many officers have been pulled from patrolling. We just do stop and frisk of black and Hispanic males, which means we aren’t solving crimes and arresting actual criminals. Let’s deal with crime problems. We use police as crossing guards downtown when they should be patrolling city neighborhoods that are being taken over by drugs. Combine that with job programs for young people.” He added, “This is my second run for mayor and I have better name recognition than the last Republican who ran. We have better connections in the community and well-known people running on the Green Party ticket, like Emily Good, Dorothy Paige and Dave Atias. This is a real opportunity for Rochester. We have a progressive alternative – a business owner who is committed to fiscal responsibility.” For more detailed information on Alex White’s campaign and the Green Party’s positions, go to greenrochester.org and alexwhiteforrochester.org. “Both have Facebook sites as well,” White said. “We try to put everything up. I’m constantly looking at ways we can make things better. It’s not that anything we propose is new – people need to look outside the Democratic box. I can’t tell you how many people say to me, ‘I agree with everything you’re saying and I’ll vote for you when you become a Democratic candidate.’ I say they’re not getting it!” Why is it so difficult to get the Green Party message of change to the public? White said, “WXXI and channels 8 and 10 and the Regional Design Center were planning debates, and channel 13 was

looking at that, but Lovely Warren has refused all of those debates. Personal decision or party decision? I don’t know. “The Green Party was shut out of the TV Democratic Party debates, but now they aren’t having another post-primary mayoral debate, because that would include the Green Party and somebody doesn’t want that. I attend events everywhere, go everywhere and talk to everybody. Our leaders have been asked for less and have delivered less for years. This is one of many things that need to change.” (Lovely Warren from page 3) programs that are successful. Reaching teens and people coming out of jail is something we need to look at.” On the question of whether large corporations or small businesses are more important to Rochester’s survival, she said, “Both are important, but I believe small businesses are more important. You have more opportunity with small businesses than with large corporations…. The key is helping businesses grow so they can employ more of those low-skilled people. If 10 small businesses hire someone, that’s 100 jobs.”

local and state ( Trans continues from page 3) change as self-advocates and allies. The event is presented by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley. Co-hosts include Pride at Work AFL-CIO, Trillium Health, Rochester Trans Group, MOCHA Center, Genesee Valley Gender Variants and The Self Made Men. ASL Interpreting services will be available.

Transgender Legal Defense partners with Rochester law firm Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, Inc. in NYC has partnered with pro bono attorneys at Nixon Peabody here in Rochester. Trans folks interested in changing their names in Monroe County can contact the Fund in NYC to provide some preliminary information and then they will be paired with an attorney in Rochester who will help them through the legal process, free of charge. Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, Inc. 151 West 19th St., Suite 1103, New York, NY 10011; 646.862.9396; fax 914.920.4057; email: cmather@transgenderlegal.org; website: transgenderlegal. org For more information on free legal help see the interview with Julia Hall of the Empire Justice Center on Page 7. Volunteer Legal Services Project offers free legal services for low low income people seeking name change. (232-3051). ■

national and international (Baryshnikov continued from page 5) LGBT people and their rights, and there have been a series of homophobic murders and attacks on LGBT people in the Russian Federation. Baryshnikov, born to Russian parents in Latvia, defected from the Soviet Union to Canada in 1974. - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/dancer-mikhail-baryshnikov-blasts-russia-over-gay-persecution161013#sthash.Rw2rEYVp.dpuf

New Quinnipiac poll: most American Catholics back marriage equality Another poll has revealed how out of touch the Catholic leadership is with their congregants. A majority of Catholics in the United States who attend Mass weekly support same-sex marriage and the ordination of women to the priesthood, according to a Quinnipiac University survey released Oct. 4. The survey found that 56 percent of Americans, 53 percent of Catholics who attend Mass weekly, and 65 percent of Catholics who attend Mass less frequently would support “a law in your state that would allow same-sex couples to get married.” Support was stronger among Catholics of ages 18-49 (64 percent) than ages 50-64 (62 percent) or 65+ (46 percent). According to the survey, 72 percent of Catholic women back same-sex marriage, while 49 percent of Catholic men do.

Federal judge will hold trial on Michigan marriage ban By Sunnivie Brydum at The Advocate A federal judge has announced that he will hold a trial in February to hear formal arguments for and against allowing same-sex couples to marry in Michigan, reports the Associated Press. U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman surprised attorneys representing the state and a lesbian couple who are seeking to adopt one another’s children when he announced that the case will go to trial, since the judge wants to hear from experts about whether there’s a legitimate state interest in denying same-sex couples the right to marry. “I wish I could give you a definitive ruling,” Friedman said at an Oct. 16 hearing, according to the AP. “There are fact issues that have to be decided.” The judge was expected to issue a ruling based solely on legal briefs filed and arguments from the attorneys representing the state and the couple but instead announced that the case will go to trial

Feb. 25, reports the AP. The legal challenge was initially filed on behalf of Jayne Rowse, 49, and April DeBoer, 42, a lesbian couple together for eight years who wanted to legally adopt each other’s children, not challenge the state’s constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, which voters approved in 2004. But last year Judge Friedman encouraged the couple to refile their suit to challenge the constitutional amendment, which forbids the state from recognizing any union other than that of one man and one woman “as a marriage or similar union for any purpose.” While the federal case in Michigan won’t be debated until February, state lawmakers have already introduced a package of bills to repeal Michigan’s marriage amendment and allow the state to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states.

Cameroon reaches new low in oppression of LGBT people By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com A new gay apartheid in Cameroon has seen LGBT people being openly banned from several public venues. In the capital Yaoundé, a video taken by gay rights activists shows a bar with the sign “Espace Interdit Aux Homosexuels” (“Gay people banned from this space”). Bénois Nkoumou, the manager of the venue, told IPS Television he did “not want to see any more homosexuals in his bar”. He said, “I felt I had to put these signs to limit certain behaviors and I noticed that it works. This bar is now forbidden to these people.” Gay rights activists have said Nkoumou’s bar is not the only place to explicit ly forbid LGBT people from congregating there. But under the Cameroon law, which states homosexuality is illegal and punishable with up to five years, there is little they can do. Issa Tchiroma, Cameroon Minister of Communication, said, “There is neither a state plot, nor a social plot in Cameroon against homosexuals. It should be said loud and clear.” Serge Douomong, a human rights activist, said while he wants a ban to forbidding gay people from public spaces, the Cameroon government wishes to segregate LGBT people from the rest of society. The resurgence of a “gay apartheid” comes as a Cameroon official attempted last month to blame a gay activist for his own murder. Eric Lembembe’s body was discovered in his own home in July, with his neck and feet broken and hands and face burned with an iron. The attack happened weeks after the renowned gay activist issued a public warning about the threat posed by homophobia. Anatole Marie Nkou, Cameroon’s ambassador to the United Nations Office

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Interview Julia Hall, LGBT Rights Project at Empire Justice Center

photo: susan Jordan

Greg Louganis and Johnny Chaillot

at Geneva, claimed the descriptions of the murder as a hate crime and a homophobic murder were “just things that have been made up”. However, He also said “Look at the details of this person’s life and you will understand why he died.” As the country prosecutes more people for being LGBT than anywhere, it is often described as the worst place in the world to be gay. - See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/newgay-apartheid-sees-lgbts-openly-bannedcameroon041013#sthash.DDy6r5wJ. dpuf

Greg Louganis marries in Malibu on Oct. 12 People Magazine has the story: Olympic gold medal diver Louganis, 53, married paralegal Johnny Chaillot, 52, Oct. 12 at Geoffrey’s in Malibu. “It was amazing because I have so many people from all facets of my life here tonight and they are all here and celebrating, it is all wonderful,” Louganis told PEOPLE immediately following the sunset ceremony. “I already feel different. The ceremony was so reflective and representative of who we are.” The recent Splash coach and Chaillot began dating in 2012 after finding each other on the online dating site Match. com and became engaged almost exactly a year later on April 8. In lieu of gifts, the couple asked for donations to charities.

Gay genius who won WW11, was castrated, may get pardon By Tris Reid-Smith, Omar Kuddus on gaystarnews British Prime Minister David Cameron will “look at” giving a pardon to World War II hero Alan Turing who was

By Susan Jordan There’s a new, free legal service in town for LGBT people who have experienced discrimination. Julia Hall is launching the LGBT Rights Project at the Empire Justice Center in Rochester. As the 2013 Hanna S. Cohn Equal Justice Fellow, Julia helps gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people discriminated against in the areas of work, public accommodations, housing, and more. The project also offers legal assistance in immigration matters for LGBT people. The Empire Justice Center, located at The Telesca Center for Justice, One W. Main St., Suite 200 is a multi–issue, non-profit law firm focused on changing the systems within which low income and poor families live. The Center also has offices in Albany, Long Island and White Plains. Julia added, “Our legal services are free for people who meet our income guidelines.” If you make over a certain amount you don’t qualify. The project is meant to serve low-income clients in most dire need of legal services, but you don’t have to be homeless or destitute. “Many people in our LGBT community are targeted with discrimination. I encourage people to call me so we can assess whether there is a legal remedy available to those discriminated against because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or expression.” She said that there are two basic forms of immigration matters her project will handle – adjustment of status and asylum. The former is available for our community now that DOMA Section 3 is gone and same sex spouses can apply for green cards for their partners. As for asylum, Julia said, “One basis for applying for asylum is facing persecution in your home country because of LGBT status.” Julia Hall can be contacted at 585-295-5721 and jhall@empirejustice.org. ■

later persecuted for being gay. Cameron made the commitment at the weekly Prime Minister’s Questions session when quizzed by openly-gay Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament (MP) Stephen Gilbert. Turing was a mathematics genius who worked as a codebreaker during the war, famously breaking the Enigma Code so the Allies could read Nazi communications. His work shortened the war and he later became known as the father of modern computing and artificial intelligence. But in 1952 he was prosecuted for homosexuality, which was illegal in the UK. He accepted chemical castration as an alternative to prison. But it is believed it contributed to his suicide in 1954. Campaigners have long demanded a pardon for him. Now the issue has come to the fore again after Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, gave him a posthumous Icon Award at the Attitude Awards (15 October). Gilbert asked at Prime Minister’s Questions on 16 October: “Last night, Mr. Speaker, you presented an Attitude magazine award to the nieces of Alan Turing, the gay world war two codebreaker who helped this country to win world war two. “The government indicated in July that they would move to give a pardon to Mr. Turing for his conviction for gross indecency which led him to take his own life. “Can my Right Honorable Friend the Prime Minister tell us when that pardon will be granted?” Cameron replied, “Let me pay tribute to what Alan Turing and all the people who worked at Bletchley Park did for our country – it was absolutely remarkable and it was crucial in winning the Second World War. Clearly what happened to him was completely wrong and now, looking back, everyone can see that – (Gay genius continues page 12)

Jason Klaum, Stylist 585.732.7676 90 Canal Street, Suite 308 Rochester 14608

Karen Kingrey By Susan Jordan Karen Kingrey is a former Rochester resident and member of the Deaf community. She recently answered some questions about the experiences and issues of LGBT Deaf people. Empty Closet: You recently posted on Facebook about the most typical clueless questions the hearing ask deaf people. Which is your least favorite question and why? Karen Kingrey: The very common questions hearing people ask me: Can you lip read me? Can you read and write? I strongly feel that some hearing people can be ignorant because they have not met deaf people before. They will ask deaf people questions like the ones I mentioned. I will share with you about my story. While my deaf friend and I rode on a city bus in Charleston, West Virginia, two hearing women watched us. One gave me a note saying, “Why don’t you go to see a faith healer to restore your hearing?” I replied, “Why you don’t go to see a faith healer to remove your hearing?” They were silent after reading my response. EC: What members of the Deaf Community in the past decade have inspired and encouraged you? KK: I looked up to the late Frederick Schreiber, Executive Director of National Association of the Deaf, and recall his saying, “We must fight to preserve our human rights and ASL as our language right.” He influenced my leadership while I lived in West Virginia, before moving to Rochester. EC: Do you agree that ASL should be taught to all kids in grade school? KK: Yes, I strongly support this. I taught the gifted kids in the children’s college in WV and saw that youngsters can pick up ASL real well. ASL is great for everyone to learn, as everyone wants to learn another language. EC: What are some of the greatest challenges faced by LGBT Deaf persons? KK: I recall last year LGBT Deaf people protested because NAD (National Association of the Deaf) board members invited SD Governor Duggard to give a speech at NAD. LGBT Deaf people spread the word on Facebook and Twitter and finally asked NAD to remove Gov. Duggard as a speaker, because he has the worst civil rights record on LGBTs, Native Americans and others. I think LGBT Deaf people need to be involved in politics because of their rights, which must be protected. EC: What would you like to add? KK: I have my concerns about LGBT seniors because I have not seen any places that have LGBT seniors living there and believe it would make LGBT seniors feel more comfortable to live together without being oppressed. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Qi Flow Acupuncture Come in, Feel Good

Acupuncture Cupping & Tui Na Massage Facial Rejuvenation Eric Newberg LAc

25% off first treatment with this ad!

Qi Flow Acupuncture 595 Blossom Road, Suite 315 585-205-3211 www.qiflowacupuncture.com

We now have reduced rates if you wish acupuncture in the Group Room

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Making the Scene

IMAGEOUT: The first of two opening-night after parties was held at 140 Alex on Oct. 11. For an overview of the Festival, see p. 27. Photos: Lorraine Woerner-McGowan

Tamarra and Cierra.

Guinevere Turner of “Who’s Afraid of Vagina Woolf” and ImageOut’s Michael Gamilla.

Sharknado? Scott encounters Wall Therapy on South Ave. Photos: Susan Jordan

My Own Private Rochester: Scott McCarney By Susan Jordan Artist Scott McCarney is an adjunct faculty member at RIT. His hometown is Troy, N.Y., but he moved at age 15 to Virginia and went to college in Richmond. He arrived in Rochester for grad school in 1980 and has lived here ever since. “It took a while to dawn on me that I lived here,” he said. “The gay community was welcoming and it’s a pleasant place to live.” Scott lives with his partner in the South Wedge. They were married in 2009 in Connecticut. Of the Wedge, Scott says, “It seems very comfortable and convenient. It feels more like a

Evelyn Bailey receives congratulations from Harry Bronson (left) and others at the premiere of “Shoulders To Stand On.” Photo: Bess Watts

neighborhood. I like that people are walking more.” Scott devotes a lot of time to gardening. “I’ve been working on it for 30 years,” he said. “This summer was the best – everything really came out. It’s a perennial garden, but it’s survival of the fittest. I don’t do a lot of maintenance!” Scott’s favorite Rochester organization is ImageOut. He said, “It’s a wonderful addition to Rochester’s cultural environment. I think my biggest com-

munity involvement is for arts organizations all over the city, over the years – Visual Studies, Rochester Contemporary Arts Center. I flip flop between volunteering in the arts community and the LGBT community. You need to pace yourself.” His favorite Rochester place is definitely the Public Market. “Every Saturday I have a standing coffee date there with people. I lived in that neighborhood when I first came to Rochester. I do a lot of traveling, so when I go to the Market, I feel like I’m home again.” Scott and his partner are not big on going out. “We don’t go out much, but when we do it’s within walking distance, like Flavors of Asia on Clinton and John’s Tex Mex on South Ave. We share cooking – he’s the baker.” Scott loves to bike on the trail along the river. “In summer I bike as much as I can. And I like the civil war encampment park. The complete name of my favorite spot on the west side of the river is the Fitz-John Porter Civil War Camp; however, I reiterate my complete allegiance to pacifism,” he laughs. “You can sit there and it’s right at the bend of the river, so you can see the distant city in one direction but mostly it’s the riverbank, with blue herons and ducks, and it’s like getting away from the city.” The Jazz Festival is one of Scott’s favorite events. He noted, “I like it because it brings a certain density to the people down-

L-R: Justin Zambito, Haley Steinberger, Cody Gardner, Jon Aho (back), Rachael Gardner at the after party at 140 Alex.

town after 5 p.m. The feel of that is pretty great. And I like the variety at the JCC Film Festival, the Labor Film Series at the Dryden and the High Falls Film Festival.” Scott’s work was included in this year’s ImageArt show, and he is currently in a show at the Memorial Art Gallery. The MAG exhibition is titled “memory theatre 2013” and runs through Dec. 29. One of his very favorite Rochester things is Wall Therapy, which has created murals all over town. Wall Therapy <http:// wall-therapy.com> was initiated by radiologist Dr. Ian Wilson in 2012 as “a public communitylevel intervention using mural art as a vehicle to address our collective need for inspiration.... The

sister initiative, IMPACT, sets up diagnostic imaging sites in developing countries. The connection between art and the medical philanthropy is imagery.” Scott said, “Erich Lehman, who operates 1975 Gallery and is the SMS pre-media facilities coordinator for CIAS at RIT, came on as a curator/co-organizer this year, which brought the project into the South Wedge.” The Lovecraftian squid mural at Stanley Steemer, on South Ave. near Gregory, which is shown in the photos on this page, is by “Bile.” About Rochester in general, Scott said, “It can be frustrating at times and conservative in some ways, but Rochester has a tremendous amount to offer for a small city.” ■

Pages from Scott’s “Material Meditation on Mending Al-Mutanabbi Street” which is displayed in the MAG’s “memory theatre 2013”.

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

SHOULDERS PREMIERE: Kevin Indovino and Evelyn Bailey with Michael Gamilla at the STSO World Premiere on Oct. 12 at The Dryden. Photo: Bess Watts

Wanda Martinez and Sady Fischer at the STSO premiere. Photo: Bess Watts

Katherine Da Costa and Sara Gale at ImageOut. Photo: Garnetta Ely

Judith Johnson, Patti Evans and Anne Tischer at the STSO premiere. Photo: Bess Watts

MORE IMAGEOUT: Filmgoers Yan Li, Fengsu Hou and Vince Silenzio. Photo: Garnetta Ely

Alan Van Camp, Brian Smith and Chris Roesch attend ImageOut at the Little Theatre. Photo: Garnetta Ely

VOTE FOR BEEBE: Dick Beebe, candidate for Greece Town Supervisor, with Rochester City Council President and mayoral candidate Lovely Warren, at an October fundraiser. Photo: Bess Watts

Election Commissioner Tom Ferrarese and NYS Assembly member Harry Bronson at Dick Beebe’s fundraiser. Photo: Bess Watts

KINKY BOOTS: The Labor Film Series at the Dryden screened “Kinky Boots.” Above: Bess Watts of Pride at Work with film series organizer Jon Garlock.

BROCKPORT DIVERSITY: Bess Watts, Dr. Jennifer Ratcliff and Anne Tischer at SUNY Brockport’s Diversity Conference in October.

FORUM’s 40th: The Bachelor Forum celebrated its 40th anniversary with a party on Oct. 6. Above: Owner Peter Mohr with Rochester Mayor Tom Richards.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013 set back efforts to get the bill passed and send a bad message. The tension was on display through the day, as some in the crowd shouted “Call the vote” while Harris spoke. Speakers at the event included Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn, state Attorney General Lisa Madigan, and U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin.

national and international (Gay genius from page 6) everybody knows that. I am very happy to look at the specific issue of the pardon and respond to the Honorable Gentleman, but above all what we should do is praise Alan Turing and the brave people who worked for him.” It was also announced that openly gay MP for Finchley and Golders Green Mike Freer was promoted to Parliamentary Private Secretary to Eric Pickles, Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government. He is the fourth gay or bisexual MP to be promoted to Parliamentary Private Secretary positions joining Stuart Andrew, Daniel Kawczynski and Eric Ollerenshaw. More: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/cameron-look-givinpardon-gay-war-hero-alan-turing 171013#sthash.92Zrcsxz.dpuf COMMENTARY: Shouldn’t the government which persecuted this hero get a condemnation for gross indecency? Since it has been said that WW11 would not have been won without Turing’s work on Enigma, shouldn’t he get an apology and a posthumous medal?

NOM foments hate all over Eastern Europe Hate group leaders Brian Brown and Scott Lively are conspirators in Russia’s pogrom against its own LGBT citizens. But the virulently anti-gay World Congress Of Families didn’t only meet in Moscow in October. Via press release Oct. 23: On Oct. 13, the delegation met in Kiev with representatives of parents groups from all over the country. The meeting was organized by Alexandar Skvortsov, co-chairman of the umbrella group, All Ukrainian Parents Committee. The Ukrainian leaders expressed concern about the pressure brought to bear on their nation to accede to the homosexual agenda (including “gay marriage”) as a condition for membership in the European Union. They also noted the moral decline in society reflected in pornography (of which the Ukraine is one of the leaders internationally) and prostitution. They complained about sexual indoctrination in the schools -- in the guise of teaching sex education -- and showed the WCF leaders a booklet used for this purpose that’s graphic in both content and illustrations. The same WCF leaders were in Belgrade, Serbia, on Sept. 28, for a rally and family march, including as many as 10,000 participants, according to an AP report. NOT by coincidence, on the very day that WCF was in Belgrade, city leaders abruptly banned that day’s planned gay pride parade, “citing security concerns over threats of violence by the neo-Nazi groups who battled hundreds of riot police at Belgrade Pride 2010.”

Nova Scotia gay man paralyzed after bashing

Gay teenager is science innovator, 60 Minutes says Jack Andraka, a 16-year-old openly gay wunderkind, has developed a ground-breaking new way to detect the early stages of pancreatic, ovarian, and lung cancer. An October episode of 60 Minutes featured a fascinating look into the Maryland teen’s journey from small-town science buff to internationally renowned innovator. “This kid is going to revolutionize science, and he knows it,” says Towleroad.com.

French mayors may not refuse to perform same sex weddings France’s Constitutional Council has ruled against seven mayors who demanded to be exempted from performing samesex marriages. JMG reader David provides the translation: “The Constitutional Council deems that by not providing a provision to allow government officials to assert their disagreement with the dispositions of the May 17, 2013 law and avoid performing official duties associated with celebrating marriages, the legislation aimed to ensure the application of the law by officers and thus to guarantee proper performance and neutrality of the State’s public service. The Council deems that given the duties of State officials in celebrating marriages, the legislation did not attack their freedom of conscience. The Constitutional Council judges the contested dispositions of the law respect the Constitution.” -JoeMyGod.com

Rev. Hall of National Cathedral: Homophobia, heterosexism are sins “In its wisdom, the church came to its senses and labeled both racism and sexism as sinful. And now we find ourselves at the last barrier — call that barrier homophobia, call it heterosexism. “We must now have the courage to take the final step and call homophobia and heterosexism what they are. They are sin. Homophobia is a sin. Heterosexism is a sin. Shaming people for whom they love is a sin. Shaming people because their gender identity doesn’t fit neatly into your sense of what it should be is a sin. “Our job, as Christians, is not only to

proclaim that Gospel. Our job is to live it. And if we are faithful in proclaiming and living it, today’s generation of LGBT youth will thrive and grow and take their places around this table, with Jesus, as we bless, forgive, heal, and love the world. Amen.” - Rev. Gary Hall, chief ecclesiastical leader of the National Cathedral in Washington, DC, in a sermon marking the 15th anniversary of the death of Matthew Shepard.

3,000 rally for Illinois marriage equality The Chicago Tribune reported on the Oct. 22 March On Springfield. Gay marriage supporters flocked to the Capitol grounds by the busload, waving rainbow-colored flags and wearing rain-soaked bridal veils to pressure lawmakers to make Illinois the 15th state to legalize same-sex unions. The show of force that police estimated at 3,000 people ran up against the political reality that there’s little indication the Illinois House is any closer to approving a gay marriage bill than it was before a summer of lobbying efforts. Lawmakers are waiting to see whether they face difficult re-election efforts, and religious groups opposed to the bill organized their own rally Oct. 23. The situation has created a sharp divide among advocates who are split on how sponsoring Rep. Greg Harris should proceed. On one side are those demanding that Harris call the bill even if the support isn’t there, arguing that lawmakers should be held accountable while also making it clear who should be targeted as potential backers. On the other side are those who contend that pragmatic politics should not be ignored, contending a failed vote would

A gay man was violently attacked in the street early on the morning of Oct.12 by a man who had been at the same Nova Scotia bar he was in earlier that night. Choir director Scott Jones’ throat was slashed and he was stabbed in the back, the knife severing his spine, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down. Police have made an arrest in the attack. The CBC reports: Police said Shane Edward Matheson, 19, of Trenton, N.S. is charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and possession of a weapon dangerous to the public peace, in the violent attack on 27-year-old Scott Jones early Saturday morning. The accused was arrested without incident at a home on High Street in Trenton at 11 p.m. AT on Saturday. Matheson is facing another charge of assault with a weapon for an incident earlier in the evening against an 18-yearold woman. New Glasgow police Const. Ken Macdonald said that charge is unrelated to the attack on Jones, which happened shortly before 2:30 a.m. local time on Saturday. Jones’ friend and roommate Amy Punke said she and Jones were out with friends celebrating the opening of a friend’s art studio. Though she didn’t witness the attack, Punke has been speaking to Jones, who remains in critical but stable condition in a Halifax hospital. Jones’ friends suspect a hate crime: “Myself, and his family and the people that know him, we feel that he may have been targeted because of the fact that he’s gay — and he’s openly gay in town,” said Punke in an interview with CBC News on Saturday. Police still are not commenting on the allegations the attack was motivated by the victim’s sexual orientation. They said they are still speaking to witnesses. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2hhdSoBhZ

Australian capital district approves marriage equality The Australian Capital Territory, essentially Australia’s equivalent to Washington DC, has passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, the Canberra Times reports: To thunderous applause from the public gallery, the single-chamber Parliament voted to approve a marriage equality law

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet by eight votes to seven on Tuesday. Under the law, same-sex couples from across Australia will be able to marry in Australia by the end of the year. The federal government plans to challenge the constitutionality of the bill in the High Court of Australia. Deputy Chief Minister Andrew Barr, who is gay, said the law would help transform many lives and Canberra into a “rainbow territory’’ or “city of love’’. ABC News Australia has the news: The Labor Government passed its Marriage Equality Same-Sex Bill in the Legislative Assembly with the help of Greens MLA Shane Rattenbury. The laws will allow an authorised celebrant to marry gay couples within the ACT, regardless of where they live. “I am proud to stand for equality. I am proud to stand for decency and I am proud to stand for respect,” Mr. Rattenbury told the Assembly... “Perhaps most simply I am proud to stand in support of the notion that two people who love each other should be able to get married.” Amendments were also passed to strengthen the laws against any challenge in the High Court. It is expected samesex couples will be able to take advantage of the new laws before Christmas, after they give four weeks notice of their intent to marry. The federal government is expected to challenge the bill. Federal Attorney-General George Brandis has warned the ACT that the laws will be subject to a High Court challenge. Earlier this month, Senator Brandis said he had received advice the bill was “invalid by reason of inconsistency” with the Commonwealth Marriage Act. Anti-gay Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s lesbian sister and Sydney City Councillor Christine Forster has bought into the debate, calling for federal Liberal MPs to be allowed a conscience vote on the issue if legislation comes before the Parliament. Revealing that she and her partner have been engaged since March, Ms. Forster said she hoped the new Lib-

eral party room would regard the issue as a matter of conscience. “Marriage is about love, it’s about people’s feelings, it’s a matter of the heart,” she told Channel 9.

Native American men marry in Oklahoma with tribal blessings In May of this year, two Native American JMG readers married in Michigan at the approval of the Odawa tribe. And now two gay Native Americans have married in Oklahoma with the blessings of the Cheyenne and Arapaho tribes. For the past five years, Jason Pickel has wanted to marry boyfriend Darren Black Bear. The two even planned a trip to Iowa, a state that recognizes same-sex marriage. But when the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act last June, Pickel had an idea. He called the Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribe’s courthouse and asked a simple question. “I was really expecting a big no,” said Pickel. “I thought we’re on our way to Iowa, but I called the tribe and they said, ‘Yeah come on down, it’s twenty bucks.’” Twenty dollars for what no amount of money could buy in Oklahoma -- a marriage license made legal by the tribal code.

Its requirements are that both people be of Native American descent and live within the tribe’s jurisdiction. Nowhere does it specify gender. “I do know at the end of the day the state offices won’t recognize it, but they kind of have to,” said Pickel. That’s because on sovereign Indian land, state laws don’t apply, making Jason and Darren the first publicly married same-sex couple in Oklahoma, a milestone he hopes is followed. Pickel’s happiness is hampered by only one thing: “When we have equality in all 50 states and all U.S. territories, that is when we’ll have true equality. That’s when I will be truly, truly happy.” (Tipped by JMG reader Brandy) RELATED: Other Native American tribes that have approved same-sex marriage: The Coquille Indian Tribe in Oregon (2009), The Suquamish Tribe in Washington state (2011), the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians in Michigan (2013), The Confederated Tribes of the Colville Reservation in Washington state (2013), the Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians in Michigan (2013), and the Iipay Nation of Santa Ysabel in California (2013). - JoeMyGod.com

Moldova repeals gay ban in bid to join EU Moldova has repealed its “gay propaganda” ban as part of its bid to join the European Union. Pink News reports: Moldovan officials narrowly voted to overturn the law in October with a view to being offered an EU Association Agreement at the Eastern Partnership summit in Vilnius, Lithuania. In similar legislation to recently introduced Russian laws, the Moldovan ban made it illegal to promote “relationships other than those linked to marriage and the family”. The decision to repeal the

13 law was opposed by Moscow, as well as Orthodox Christians in Moldova. “Today they are allowing this propaganda and tomorrow they will allow gay marriages,” Orthodox priest Ghenadie Valuta said. Radio Free Europe reports that Orthodox Christian activists and dozens of Opposition Communist MPs tried to block the entrance of Moldova’s Palace of the Republic in Chisinau to try to stop the Moldovan Government from passing new LGBT anti-discrimination laws but lawmakers were able to overturn the ban on gay propaganda regardless. Overturning the ban is the first step in passing the anti-discrimination law, as otherwise the Government could be found to be in breach of its own law. The Moldovan Government repealed the ban in the hopes of being offered an EU Association Agreement at the Eastern Partnership summit in Vilnius, Lithuania this month. The Russian aligned Orthodox Church in Moldova even threatened lawmakers with banning them from taking communion if they passed the anti-discrimination law. Earlier last month Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili accused Russian President Vladimir Putin of exporting homophobia to other former Soviet Union countries in an attempt to retain control over them. - See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/moldova-repeals-%E2%80%98gaypropaganda%E2%80%99ban141013#sthash.dhRHzJzP.dpuf

Shepard trial attorney refutes claims in controversial book By James Withers on gaystarnews.com An attorney involved in Matthew Shepard’s murder trial is pushing back against many of the conclusions revealed in Stephen Jimenez’s controversial The Book of Matt: Hidden Truths About the Murder of Matthew Shepard. Lawyer Tim Newcomb was the appellate attorney for Russell Henderson, Aaron McKinney’s accomplice in the University of Wyoming student’s killing. Newcomb is listed as a source in Jimenez’s book. According to a Media Matters article, Newcomb had dealings with some of the very people who talked to Jimenez. This included a source who said Shepard’s death had nothing to do with homophobia. “During the time I represented Russell, a man called his grandmother, saying he had been Matthew’s lover and had his diary. I called him and asked if that was true. He told me it was, so I asked for a copy,” Newcomb wrote in a statement. This unnamed source’s story quickly changed. His sister had the diary. Newcomb asked for a copy. That couldn’t happen because the sister was worried about her brother’s life. (Shepard continues page 14)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

national and international (Shepard from page 13) “I asked why he called Russell’s grandmother then; eventually, he seemed to suggest that he didn’t have enough money,” Newcomb said. The attorney highlights the transcribed confession of McKinney, who called his victim a “fag.” Newcomb points to what McKinney said years after the crime. The convicted killer said that October night, when he pistol whipped Shepard to death, he had “hatred for homosexuals.” McKinney added he targeted Shepard because “he was obviously gay. That played a part. His weakness. His frailty.” Newcomb adds Laramie is a small town, a place he has called home for multiple years. Coverups of murder are difficult to hide when everybody knows each other. “...Laramie has few people and we tend to know of each other. Hidden truths behind notorious crimes are as rare as windless winters.”

South African archbishop challenges homophobia By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com Photo by World Economic Forum The Most Revd Dr. Thabo Makgoba, Anglican Archbishop of Cape Town and Metropolitan of Southern Africa, has partnered with international human rights group Human Rights Watch to release a video message decrying homophobic violence and anti-LGBT discrimination on the African continent. In the video Makgoba challenges arguments put forward by several African governments that culture, tradition, and religion justify the marginalization

of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex people. “Don’t fear,” Makgoba says to LGBT people in the video message. “You’ve been given this task of helping the rest of humanity to realize that we are called to respect and we are called to honor each other. People may come and say this is un-African, and I’m saying love cuts across culture. “I’m called to love all God’s children and if I move from that context I cannot allow people to be discriminated [against] and I cannot allow people to [be subjected to] violence just on the basis of their sexual orientation.” Human Rights Watch interviewed the archbishop for the video as part of an effort to highlight supportive voices for LGBT rights in Africa. Makgoba’s statement follows in the footsteps of his predecessor, Nobel Peace Prize laureate Desmond Tutu, in speaking out to combat homophobia and transphobia in Africa and around the world. “When you violate somebody on the basis of difference you’re not only violating them but you are demeaning yourself,” Makgoba says in the video. Makgoba calls on African leaders to take up their ‘moral responsibility to stop the violence against people who are different.’ ‘Archbishop Makgoba’s statement should serve as a call to national, religious, and cultural leaders across Africa who support the rights of LGBTI people to speak out publicly,’ Human Rights Watch LGBTI rights director Graeme Reid. ‘The archbishop’s message of respect for everyone’s rights should challenge leaders who have opposed the rights of LGBTI people to reconsider their positions.’ - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/southern-africa-anglicanarchbishop-calls-end-violence-againstlgbt-people221013#sthash.lIg5c99a.dpuf

Russian trans woman commits suicide after firing, parental rejection; “first Putin casualty” By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com Photos via the Association of Russian Lawyers for Human Rights. A young transgender Russian woman has committed suicide after being sacked by Putin’s anti-gay laws. Dasha Shtern, a 22-year-old, killed herself after she had lost her job and was made homeless by her own parents. Before mid-October, Shtern was working for the Yekaterinburg government in Sverdlovsk, central Russia, and was living with friends. She had just been given a mortgage so she could buy her own apartment, had bought a car and was ready to go travelling. But when Shtern’s bosses feared continuing to employ her would break “gay

propaganda laws”, she lost everything. Fired, she could not afford the payments on her car or mortgage. She killed herself on 16 October. Top lawyer and trans rights activist Masha Bast described the sudden passing of Shtern as “shocking” to her friends. “Vladimir Putin has created a system where there is no place for trans people, no place for people who are different,” she said. “Dasha is a victim of Putin’s laws, and she is a victim of the indifference in Russian society.” Trans activists held a peaceful protest at the Red Square in Moscow to raise awareness about Shtern’s suicide on 19 October. During the protest, the group lit candles, laid roses and held signs. They said: ‘Killed By Indifference, Killed By Russia. Stop Killing Transgender People!’ See more at: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/trans-woman ■

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Opinion Homophobia was one key to shutdown By Queerty.com You may think the government shutdown and the debt ceiling debate are about money matters. And, in a way, they are. But that’s too narrow a reading of the House GOP’s motives. At heart, the kamikaze caucus that got us into this mess are at war with not just government but modern life. And homophobia is a key part of that group’s philosophy. Oh, sure, you may think Queerty sees homophobia lurking behind every flag pin. But the facts bear it out. Consider: The extreme right-wing House Republicans who have been calling the shots have been dubbed ”the Chik-fil-A Caucus” by the Los Angeles Times. Why? Because the group orders sandwiches from that fast food emporium to show their support for the company president’s staunch opposition to marriage equality. All the polling from the shutdown show that the Republicans have taken a devastating hit to their popularity, with favorable numbers that are so low that some chronic diseases could run against the party and win. Yet, there is one group that is standing by the shutdown caucus: evangelical Christians. (The Tea Party is the only other group that loves the shutdown.) More specifically, some of the antigay right’s leading figures are ecstatic about the House GOP’s nihilism. For example, John Stemberger told the National Journal that shutting down the government was the right thing to do. “Obamacare is objectionable enough to make this kind of a stand to show how odious it is.” Stemberger is best known to Queerty readers as the founder of OnMyHonor.net, the group formed as a “Christian values” alternative to the Boy Scouts. The leaders of the House conservatives haven’t exactly hidden their homophobia either. Rep. Raul Labrador has introduced a bill that would protect groups that don’t want to recognize marriage equality. Rep. Steve King has a lengthy and loony record of homophobia that includes threatening to take money away from the Department of Justice for its refusal to defend DOMA. Rep. Louis Gohmert was wondered aloud how homosexuality advances the human species. Rep. Phil Gingrey wants schools to teach kids traditional gender roles as an antidote to marriage equality. The list could go on and on. What’s at stake here isn’t Obamacare or the deficit or the debt ceiling. It’s an unshaped despair about modernity. Any one or all of the issues could have triggered the current crisis. If circumstances were right, the trigger could have been Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, or marriage equality, or restrictions on a woman’s right to choose. The right wing sees a world that is rapidly changing and they don’t like it one bit. The U.S. is becoming less white, less religious and more tolerant. The right believes it is the last fort standing to defend America. So don’t believe that money is the only issue in the current crisis. You’re right there in the thick of it too. ■ - queerty.com

International Transgender Day of Remembrance is Nov. 20 By Shauna O’Toole November 20 is set aside as a day to remember and celebrate the lives of Transgender people killed in hate crimes -- hate crimes caused by simply being who we are. Coming out as Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual can be difficult. Coming out as Transgender has the additional challenge in that we alter our physical appearance to match our gender. Many see this change as a positive event. Others reject the person outright. Some greet us with sneers, jeers, and crude comments as we walk down the street. Sometimes we are physically assaulted for being who we are. On occasion, we are killed. During the early weeks of 2013, there were 75 murders of Transgender people that were listed as hate crimes. Examples range from the woman who killed her roommate when she discovered that the roommate was Transgender to the Trans*woman beaten to death by a mob on the steps of a NYC police precinct building. In 2012, there were 264 hate crime murders against Trans* people. These deaths were due to stabbing, gunshot, immolation, dismemberment, mutilation, and/or torture. The United States ranks third, behind Brazil (#1) and Mexico (#2), in hate crime deaths of Trans* people. This year, there are multiple TDOR events remembering the lost lives and struggles of Trans* people. The remembrances will conclude on Nov. 22 at Equal Grounds Coffee Shop with an open mic for Trans* people. The open mic is an opportunity for us, the Trans* Community, to proclaim to the world that We Are Here, and that We Are Not Going Away. The Good, the Bad, and the Funny returns to Equal Grounds Coffee Shop on Nov. 22 at 7:30 p.m. This event was standing room only during Rochester Pride 2012. The Good, the Bad, and the Funny is an Open Mic event for the Trans* community to come and share our stories in a safe environment. Those who attended and participated in this event during Pride 2012 found it powerful and empowering. This event will cap the events surrounding the Transgender Day Of Remembrance as a positive affirmation of being Trans*. It is a day to tell the world that We Are Here and that We Have A Voice. All are welcome to attend. Only those who identify as Trans* will be able to sign up for time at the mic. This event is sponsored by Shauna O’Toole/You Can’t Shave In A Minimart Bathroom; The Self Made Men and The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley. (For the full list of events, see Calendar page 34). The events are open to all. Whether you are LGBTQI or a Straight Ally, come and join us! We look forward to seeing you there. ■

Glenn Zermeño, LCSW Individual, Couple & Group Psychotherapy LGBTQ Concerns, Youth & Adolescents, HIV/AIDS, Relationships, Dealing with Conflict, Effective Communication, Anxiety, Depression, Body Image, Self-Esteem 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 311 • Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: 917-309-7508 • Email: glenn.zermeno@gmail.com

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Learn the history of the LGBT community in Rochester... ...from the people who made that history. The Gay Alliance invites you to celebrate 40 years of LGBT history in Rochester with your very own CD of this powerful film. Shoulders To Stand On Evelyn Bailey, Executive Producer Kevin Indovino, Producer/Director/Writer

4 d

Standard DVD $25 / BluRay DVD $30 Order at: www.GayAlliance.org

Empowering pride for 40 years

Fall SpeakOUT Training The Gay Alliance would like to invite you to participate in our Fall SpeakOUT Training: Providing Successful LGBT Education The Gay Alliance SpeakOUT Training prepares participants to educate others on LGBT issues in a respectful way, to successfully advocate for LGBT individuals and to address challenges to full LGBT inclusion. SpeakOUT participants become more confident and articulate while talking with others about LGBT issues. This is a great experience for someone new to LGBT issues or someone who has lived or worked with the issues for years. Think of it as professional development for your life. This training is also the first step in becoming trained as a Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau member. Facilitators: Jeanne Gainsburg, Gay Alliance Education Director and Scott Fearing, Gay Alliance Executive Director, draw upon their 30+ years of LGBT training and education experience to facilitate the class. A dynamic mix of interactive exercises and lecture make for a fast-paced, intense and valuable learning experience. The SpeakOUT Training will run on Friday, March 22 from 6-9pm and on Saturday, March 23 from 8:30am-5pm and is $60 per person. It will be held in the Gay Alliance Community Center in the Auditorium Center (875 E. Main St. Rochester, NY 14605). We only offer this training twice a year and it fills fast, so don’t wait! To register, go to: www.gayalliance.org/speakout.html. To ask questions or find out about paying through an invoice, please contact: SpeakOUT@gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 14. *ASL interpretation available if requested before November 12.

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On TM

Tony Mascioli – One of Rochester’s gay success stories By Evelyn Bailey I met Tony Mascioli for the first time at the Gay Alliance building on Atlantic Avenue in the ‘90s. As I got to know Tony, I realized Tony’s life was one of Rochester’s gay success stories. Tony was born in Rochester, New York on December 14, 1930. By 1930, the population of Rochester had swelled to 328,132, making Rochester the 22nd largest city in the United States. The University of Rochester opened its River Campus for men, and the Prince Street Campus became the Women’s Campus. The Rochester Municipal Airport opened on Scottsville Road. It was in the 1930s that Eastman Kodak introduced Kodachrome® film. In 1936, the Rundel

Memorial Building opened as the headquarters of the Rochester Public Library. Tony grew up around North Street. He went to Catholic schools. He knew he was gay as a young man. Tony did not remember being harassed as a student, but did remember he was kind of a loner. When he came out to his family, his father was not very supportive. He left Rochester at 19 for New York City where he lived in a rooming house in for $7 a week rent. He did not make it in New York and returned to Rochester. Tony decided to enter the army at the time of the Korean Conflict. Tony recounted the story of his father telling him to tell the recruiters how bad his feet were, that he had to wear special shoes, etc., so that the Army would not accept his application. His application to enter the army was rejected because of his flat feet. During this time he attended SUNY Brockport where he was involved in acting and writing. He returned to New York and attended Columbia University majoring in English Literature. In 1974 he went into partnership with his cousin and opened the Wall Street Spa and Sauna. Soon after, Tony also opened the East Side Sauna, and a guest house on Long Island. In October, 2011 I asked Tony for a rather large donation to the Shoulders To Stand On 90 minute Documentary on the LGBT History of Rochester. I explained that the documentary has been in the making for over 40 years, and that since 2003, the Gay Alliance has been focused on documenting and preserving Rochester’s LGBT history. He responded by saying he was more comfortable with a Matching Donation rather than just an outright donation. Tony’s challenge was to raise $10,000 between December 2, 2011 and January 15, 2012. You need to understand that Tony was a very sharp businessman. His challenge energized the Shoulders To Stand On Committee to begin in a focused way to energize the community to raise the money. Tony knew the impetus of meeting his challenge would cause us to reach out to the community strategically, and to develop a long range plan for raising the money to complete the project. He was right! On Thursday, October 10, 2013, almost two years to the day of Tony’s challenge, Out & Equal in partnership with Constellation Brands raised $3,200 for Shoulders To Stand On to bring our total fundraising efforts, kickstarted by Tony, to just over $100,000. Tony’s faith in us, myself and Kevin Indovino, Director/Editor of Shoulders To Stand On, to complete the documentary for its World Premier at ImageOut 2013, was well placed. Words cannot express my deep appreciation and grati-

History Corner

tude for Tony’s support, interest, and fundraising suggestions. His belief in my dream gave me the determination and perseverance needed to make the Shoulders To Stand On Documentary a reality. On Saturday, August 10, 2013, Tony died unexpectedly. Tony was a colorful and charismatic entrepreneur in New York City. He boldly celebrated being a gay man at a time when it wasn’t socially acceptable or safe. He provided a place for men, in and out of the closet, to socialize and find fulfillment in their identity. Most of all Tony lived his life openly with pride. As a result of a recent bequest, Tony has left a very generous gift intended to support the Alliance for the next 10 years. Shoulders to Stand On is extremely grateful for Tony’s ongoing commitment to improving the day-to-day lives of LGBT people in Rochester and helping them live their lives as Tony lived his – openly, honestly and with pride. I believe the song “I Did It My Way,” written by Jacques Revaux, Claude Francois, Gilles Thibaut and Paul Anka and made famous by Frank Sinatra, describes Tony’s life pretty accurately, and his hope for his LGBT brothers and sisters. And now, the end is here And so I face the final curtain My friend, I’ll say it clear I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain I’ve lived a life that’s full I traveled each and ev’ry highway And more, much more than this, I did it my way Regrets, I’ve had a few But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway And more, much more than this, I did it my way Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew But through it all, when there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried I’ve had my fill, my share of losing And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing To think I did all that And may I say, not in a shy way, “Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way” For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels The record shows I took the blows and did it my way! Yes, it was my way

A Monthly Newsletter of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, November, 1973; THURS 1 NOV: Women’s Health Genesee Co-op, 7:30 pm. Liza Minnelli, War Memorial, 8 pm. FRI & SAT 2-3 N0V: FEMINIST FILM FESTIVAL. “Three Lives” by Kate Millet. 8 pm. Friday at Genesee Co-op, upstairs. Saturday at GAGV Center. SUN 4 NOV: Business Meeting/Gay Town Meeting THURS 8 NOV: Men’s Health Check, 92 North, 8-10 pm. Questions? Phone 325-9754. SAT 10 NOV: Bette Midler. Dome, Monroe Co Fairgrounds SUN 11 NOV: “You and Religion” a panel discussion with clergy. Bruce Jewell. SUN 18 NOV: “A Gay Coffee House”. New member orientation. THURS 22 NOV: “A Gay Thanksgiving”—a dinner for all our gay brothers and sisters on Thanksgiving. By reservation only. Call 436-7670 for information on place, time, price and reservations. FRI 23 NOV; EMPTY CLOSET deadline. SAT 24 NOV: Women’s Dance. GAGV center probably. SUN 25 NOV: Program: Coming Out with Parents. ■

See you at the annual meeting! The Gay Alliance will hold its 2013 annual meeting Nov. 20 6 pm at MVP Health Care 220 Alexander Street. For more information call 244-8640

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Geezer Time By Eric Bellmann The year is drawing to a close. Getting colder. Time to be indoors. Time for lunch with Joanne. Inevitably this devolves into a war of monologues. Your aches and pains, now mine. Occasionally we share about recent activities, ancient gripes. No one buys Art anymore, not ours at least. We drone on. Joanne’s a maniac gardener, me a bit less so. She will have tales of catalog shopping for bulbs and hours spent on her computer planning where plants will go. I relate tales from New York City. Much as I resent the price of admission to the major museums, now and then I visit them. A major draw is the Museum of Art and Design at Columbus Circle, the latest incarnation of the Craft Museum. What is appealing is hunting for works by familiar names: Albert Paley, Wendell Castle, other craftsmen from western New York, from RIT where Joanne and I both studied. Joanne worked under the legendary Franz Wildenhain. I never find any of his work on display any more. There is work by Marguerite, his first wife. Franz was a very big deal and it’s a puzzle why he’s faded. His work is much more varied and impressive than other ceramists of his era. Franz’s students are in the museum but not the master himself. My mentor at RIT was Fred Meyer who worked in many fields: painting, ceramic sculpture, film. I loved Fred. He was a very weird guy and most people were intimidated by him, including, initially, me. One day he strolled by my painting cubicle and out of the blue asked me if I knew about camp. He was reading Susan Sontag’s “Against Interpretation.” “Yep, think I do.” So, we bonded over gay excess. Fred exhibited at the very prestigious Midtown Gallery on 5th Avenue and I went there once and found some of his exquisite gouache drawings. Fred’s sculpture had been collected by famous people. Liza Minelli had one, and he also was in the collection of the then recently completed Lincoln Center. A few years ago I went there and asked a research librarian to check where Fred’s work could be found. No information available. Fred, too, is lost to history. Joanne and I adored our teachers. That’s the way it should have been. Fred died of a heart attack in a railroad station Italy. He went there each year to work with a foundry that cast his work in bronze. One sculpture is still at RIT near the entry to the Bevier Gallery covered, alas, in dust. For years I modeled my teaching on Fred’s mannerisms. I even reinterpreted some of his projects for my students. Once, as part of a painting assignment, he asked us to look at “the utterly charming work of Florine Stettheimer”. Huh? Who ever heard of that painter? Her work is hung in both MOMA and the Met and when I dragged Sally to an exhibit at the Met I insisted she traipse along to see the Stettheimer paintings. I’ve no idea if she liked them. They’re quite odd. Large compositions of salons,

gatherings in stately mansions or cafes, quite refined yet primitive in a charming way. Oddly, I think of this as a tribute to Fred, a way of playing it forward, carrying on what I gained from my time with him into the present. Where does this leave us? Two artists along in years reminiscing about our lives and talking about our mentors. We were never successful. Did they have more talent or better luck? Maybe we weren’t as ambitious. Hard to know what makes the difference in how lives work out. Franz has a Wikipedia page. It’s pretty impressive. Fred does not. I found one piece of his sculpture on an auction site. Joanne has given most of her ceramics to her children and grandchildren. I’ve seen my work in garage sales. And so it goes. Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Faith Matters Now is the time for attention to LGBT domestic violence in communities of color By Rev. Irene Monroe Every Monday morning Alex (not his real name) and I met for breakfast at our favorite dive in Harvard Square. I would notice visible bruises and cuts on his face, arms, and legs, but assumed the black and blue marks were simply par for the course for a guy who enjoyed the rough-and-tumble adrenaline high that comes with playing weekend scrimmage football. I don’t recall a time when Alex didn’t have a knot on his head, a cut on his lip, a bite into his skin, welts on his arms or stitches. I did notice, however, over time that the teddy bear sweet guy who sat across the table from me with a smile as wide as the Charles River on Monday mornings looked beaten up rather than injured. When I began asking Alex about his bruises he shrugged off my queries and talked about something else. Some Monday mornings then he would call me at the last minute to cancel or he wouldn’t show up at all. One morning he called me to cancel telling me he was in Mount Auburn Hospital. His partner had stabbed him severely. October was Domestic Awareness Month, and within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) communities of color, not enough attention, education, intervention and advocacy is given to this issue. Statistics estimate that 25-33 percent of the LGBTQ population will experience some form of partner abuse or domestic violence in their lifetime. The Inter-Personal Violence (IPV) study conducted in 2011 stated that LGBTQ communities of color are one of the demographic groups experiencing high incidents of domestic violence. However, attempts to obtain accurate statistics of how high IPV is in these communities are obfuscated by social stigmas and cultural taboos, not excluding also racism and other forms of oppressions and discriminations. What also obfuscates obtaining accu-

rate statistics on how high IPV is in these communities of color is that samegender interpersonal violence is clouded with myths. For example, there is the myth that because the victim and the abuser are of the same gender and are also in a consensual sexual relationship, the battering that occurs starts out as a mutual act of S&M, and that somewhere during the course of the couple’s sexual encounter the violence gets out of hand. Another myth is confusing samegender sexual violence with homosexuality. Sadly, because these myths still abound among many health care workers and law enforcers about what same-gender interpersonal violence is, LGBTQ communities, particularly those of color, are least likely to seek out services and resources. Domestic violence is not only an act of physical violence; it can also be an act of sexual violence as well as mental violence such as threatening and stalking. Because Alex wasn’t out to his team, his partner — a flamboyant effeminate male who couldn’t simply be introduced as just a buddy without suspicion — could only watch him play from a distance. Alex’s partner’s eyes turned into suspicion as he watched friendly innocent pats on the butt during games. And he began stalking Alex. On the morning we were to meet, his partner accused him of an affair, and a fight ensued. There are at least several factors contributing to the ongoing uninterrupted incidents of domestic violence in communities of color. One is the dominant view that combines the social ills of race and violence to be the face of black males. Alex was seen several times for his scrapes, cuts and bruises in the same Emergency Room at the same hospital. However, with violence associated with young black males, the protocol and treatment for domestic violence related injuries in inner-city hospitals for these patents are rarely introduced or followed up. Another is the lack of police intervention. The police were called to the house several times by both Alex and his partner. If they came at all they were coming to the call of an interracial couple in distress. However, when the cops looked at Alex — African American, 6’2’’ and 200 pounds — and then his partner — white, 5’9” and 160 pounds — judgment was rendered as to who was the abuser. Also, there is the belief that a history of racism trumps deserving a safe, healthy and violent-free relationship. In non-interracial relationships many victims oftentimes will not prosecute their partners for fear of community abandonment, isolation and scorn. Some rather rationalize the violence as the root cause of persistent micro and macro-levels of racism their partners encounter, rather than making them accountable for their uncontrolled actions. But not all LGBTQs of color feel that way. “People of color are expected to stay silent in the face of violence and as part of the LGBTQ community the silence becomes louder when law-enforcement, judicial and political figures ignore our calls for help. Not having power over our own behaviors and emotions causes us to exert dominating and violent attitudes within our community and toward our partners,” Sean Smith wrote in his article “Imprisoned by Violence: Domestic Violence in the (Black) LGBT Community.” Resources and services have to be made available to LGBTQ communities of color. And this is the time to reach out to us. Everyone deserves a safe, loving, healthy and violence-free relationship. LGBTQ communities of color have to be educated to embrace the fact that they deserve this, too.

A Few Bricks Short The Ransom of Rocky By David Hull You may have heard on the news about the newest scam that’s happening all across the country; Pet-Napping. Crooks are stealing family pets, keeping them until the owners advertise a reward; then the crooks return the “missing” pet for the reward money. Peanut the Pomeranian fetched someone a $200 reward. Sylvester the prizewinning dachshund garnered a $500 reward. Even Tank the elderly basset hound was returned for a measly $50 reward. And police blame all the missing pets on the same scam – Pet-Napping! And now I am horrified to report that the same scam has happened to my husband, Bernie and me. Well, sort of the same scam. My husband is a CP. That’s “cat person”. And being that we live on a somewhat rural country road, over the years we’ve acquired a number of stray, abandoned cats that people have dropped off in the surrounding fields and woods. So, when the cats show up cold and hungry at our house, Bernie can’t help but rescue them. Some cats are young, some are old, some are healthy, some are pregnant, some are nice and some have issues. Rocky is a cat that we acquired a couple years ago and he is one of the cats that have issues. He’s big, he’s cranky and he’s almost always hungry. I’ve always felt that Rocky and I had a lot in common. When Bernie first rescued Rocky, the cat was mangy, dirty and very, very thin, but under Bernie’s care, Rocky has made a great recovery. Luckily, he’s also one of the few rescued cats who will still go outside – most seem happy to remain inside, lounging on the couch, sitting on the windowsill or stretching out in the middle of the bedroom floor. Rocky is also one of the cats who will wear his collar with his ID tags attached, so if he ever gets lost, he can be returned – although we thought that extremely unlikely since Rocky rarely travels any farther than the front porch. Every evening, after dinner, Bernie calls out the back door and the three outside cats, including Rocky, come dashing in for dinner and a cozy night’s sleep in the laundry room. Actually, two of the cats dash; Rocky does more of a slow saunter into the house. Apparently, he’s learned there will always be plenty of food with Bernie around. Anyway, one evening last week, Bernie opened the back door and called out, but only two cats came in. Bernie waited patiently, knowing that Rocky usually moved a bit slower than his companions, but Rocky never showed up. So, we went outside to search for him. We checked all his usual spots; the lounge chair on the patio, the shady spot under the apple tree, the corner of the front porch. He was nowhere. “He couldn’t have traveled too far,” said Bernie. “He usually doesn’t walk very many steps without stopping for a rest.” We called for Rocky every few minutes for the rest of the evening, but when bedtime came, he had still not returned home. The next morning, Rocky was still missing. “Do you think a coyote got him?” I asked. “Since Rocky beats up the neighbor’s Rottweiler whenever it comes into our yard,” Bernie replied. “I don’t think we have to worry about coyotes. I imagine the coyotes worry about Rocky.” Three days went by and still there was no sign of Rocky. We were finally accepting that the old cat was probably gone. Then the next morning there was a knock at the front door. It was a young man with his baseball hat on backwards and baggy jeans sliding off his hips. Do kids really find that look attractive? He

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet was carrying a cardboard box; the top was secured with duct tape. “Can I help you?” I asked. “Yeah,” the kid replied. “Is there a reward for your cat, Rocky?” “What?” “Your lost cat, Rocky,” he repeated. “Is there a reward for him?” Now sometimes I’m a bit slow, but I had already figured out what was in the box. I was the victim of a pet-napping, just like I had heard about on the news. I had everything under control. I lived with Rocky. I had read O. Henry’s The Ransom of Red Chief. And this delinquent didn’t seem too bright. I knew how to handle this situation. “No,” I said, calmly. “No ransom. We have plenty of other cats. Thanks anyway.” “Well, I got your cat here, his tags list your address,” he said, holding the box up. “You can have him back for a reward.” “No, that’s okay,” I answered. “Your reward is that you can keep Rocky.” “Well, no,” said the kid, still holding the box up for my inspection. He was confused. “I don’t want this cat. He’s mean.” “Oh, yeah, he’s miserable,” I agreed. “And that’s when he’s in a good mood.” “Well, if there’s a reward …” “I told you,” I said. “You can just keep the cat.” “But he scratched me a bunch of times,” the kid complained. “And he eats everything. He even eats potato chips – he ripped open a bag of Doritos and ate the whole thing. I didn’t know cats eat potato chips.” I nodded. “Rocky will eat anything. He also likes Chips Ahoy, provolone cheese and bagels. It costs a lot to feed Rocky.” “He peed all over my couch,” the kid said. “Probably just happily marking the territory of his new home,” I explained as I began to shut the door. “Wait!” said the kid. “So, there’s no reward at all?”

“Nope. Good luck with Rocky.” “Okay, okay.” The kid set the box on the porch. “I don’t need a reward. You can just have your cat.” “He’s your cat now.” I stepped out on the porch and handed the box back to him. “No way, mister, I don’t want that cat.” He set the box back down again. I began pulling the duct tape off the box. “Let’s see if he comes to you when you call him,” I said. “That will show us that he belongs to you now.” “No, don’t open that box,” pleaded the kid. “He’ll scratch me again. He hates me.” “Don’t take it personally, Rocky hates everybody. So, what are you going to do,” I asked. “You can’t just leave your cat here.” “I do not want that miserable, messy critter in my apartment,” the kid insisted. “Can’t you just keep him?” “This isn’t an animal shelter,” I replied. I slowly pulled more tape off the box. “Wait!” the kid held his cat-scratched hands up in surrender. “Don’t open the box. I have an idea. How about I give you five bucks and you keep the cat?” “Five bucks?” I laughed. “I’m not taking this cat for only five bucks.” The kid began frantically digging in his pockets. “Look. Here’s 10 bucks – that’s all I got! Please, just take the money and the cat.” He handed me two five dollar bills and began backing off the porch. “Don’t you want to say good-bye to Rocky?” I called after him. The kid didn’t reply – he hopped in his car and began backing out the driveway … quickly. I pulled the lid off the box and found Rocky safe inside. He was curled up with an empty bag of Doritos, purring peacefully. Rocky was home and there was a fresh bag of Ruffles potato chips in the kitchen cupboard for a cat treat. I had an extra 10 bucks to take Bernie out to lunch. And I think I taught a young pet-napper the

error of his ways. It was a good day. Contact David at davidhull59@aol. com

Cleaning My Closet A Mountain Of Faith By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger It takes 30 minutes from Kermit’s main road to drive up the coal company’s curving, narrow, bending, precipitous, twisting, not-straight-at-all gravel road to reach Big Laurel Learning Center atop that West Virginia mountain. We, my social activist friend Paul and I, English teacher/evolving social activist, drove 700 scenic miles to the Appalachian Mountains … he to reconnect with his long time friends Sister Gretchen and Sister Kathleen, and I to finally meet them and do a few chores to help them get ready for winter. Gretchen, born to an underground coal miner, is a fascinating storyteller. She shared coal company history and coal camp truths. She took us to the site of the Matewan Massacre, where the 1920 confrontation between unionist miners and tyrannical mine owners intensified corruption and racial hostility. Gretchen talked about her thirty-eight years of managing volunteers and funding. She reminisced about their struggles and their laughter. About teaching local children and designing St. Joseph’s, their new home, often a B&B for visitors. Imagine. I had thought I was there only to help her. But the longer I listened, the more I realized she had become my teacher. Kath, a counselor off-mountain, is a remarkable people-person who gave me a close look at life in their traditional mountain community. When she revved up her 4-wheeler/ATV, I jumped on behind her… okay, so I had to heave my leg over… and then she whizzed around bigzigzags and big-steep hills so I could meet four of their neighbors. They were all friendly persons, their rhythms of speech and body, like leaves lifting on gentle winds, were soothing. “You don’t call ahead,” Kath assured me, explaining local customs, “you just drop in and you are welcomed.” Sure enough. They all simply and graciously accepted us into their Sunday afternoon. When we arrived at the first neighbor’s house, Kath had to knock several times. Even though we had interrupted their nap, Laverne and Clearfield kindly ushered in, as Kath had said they would. We all sat on their long porch with its views of apple trees and their already harvested vegetable garden. They talked about Clearfield’s health, their grandchildren, and the baffling invasion of bugs damaging their apple trees. Laverne spread her fingers to show us her many cuts. “It’s hard to slice away all the spoiled parts. We’ve been canning for weeks. Come see.” Their basement walls, lined with sturdy pine shelves made by Clearfield, were filled with jars of colors… sparkling tomato red, bright green beans, purpled beets, pink applesauce, gleaming peaches, and jeweled jams. Laverne and Clearfield smiled as we raved about their winter supplies, the beauty captured in glass. I felt honored to have been invited into their art gallery. For our next visit, Kath whiz-zoomed up a nearly perpendicular hill. Phil, sitting on his porch swing, welcomed us with a smile. Then he patted the space next to him. “Come over here and sit.” I did. I knew being accepted was especially important to Phil because, due to his speech impediment and physical challenges, he had long endured ridicule and isolation. During our conversation, Phil talked about his sense of humor. He told me he likes to joke with others, “but only with

23 people I know.” Then Kath and Phil chatted awhile, and she told Phil that she had arranged for a neighbor to drive him into town to grocery shop. After we said our goodbyes, we headed back down the hill. Kath said, “You could understand him.” Oh yes, I could. Our last stop was another lesson for me about the constant work required for survival in the mountains. Kenneth Ray stood in back of his logging truck fixing two chain saws. One was Kath’s. They talked about the repairs. She reminded him to take the rest of the apples from Big Laurel’s trees. Then Kath asked about the work her two horses had done the day before. She had taken them to Kenneth Ray’s to graze. Did they eat all the stuff he had wanted gone, Kath asked him. “Yeah,” he answered. As Kath and I walked toward the 4-wheeler, I knew that I had witnessed more than bartering. It was big hearts and helping hands. That’s what grows in their community. Our visits over, we headed toward chores. This time I drove as Kath gave me lessons. Me? Well, zoom… slow down… Zoom… slow around precipitous curves… ZOom… ZOOm… until finally I risked 15 mph ZOOMing updown-around hill and trail. With every single muscle rigid. “Relax,” Kath urged. Tried, but no, I was not ready to shift into that gear. I drove us all over their expansive property. There are 2 bunk houses, the nuns’ residence, 1 Knob House for summer camp, 1 school house with a second floor apartment, 1 activities building, 1 barn, 5 cistern sheds, 1 goat pen with shed, 1 chicken coop, 1 shed for the gas mule, 1 pottery building, 3 dog houses, 2 huge vegetable gardens, 5 vehicles. And chores galore. Endless cleaning, maintaining, and repairing. Countless tasks required to feed a multitude of volunteers, AmeriCorps workers, camp kids, resident nuns, and 2 horses, 3 outdoor dogs, 4 house felines, 4 mousers, 5 chickens, 0 goats. Day one my help was minimal: I opened one cat food can for barn mouser, shelved 196 toilet paper rolls, vacuumed three not-big rugs. And then Kath sent me on errands. On the 4 wheeler. Just me. Way up Phil’s steep hill to give him some homemade soup and a good-bye hug. Backing up and then flying down Phil’s steep hill. Up and down muddy gravel roads, reaching speeds of 23 mph. Me and my big non-stop grin. Wow oh wow! Look! Citylesbian zooming a 4-wheeler. Eventually I did real work (I earned my keep, as my mother was wont to say) in Knob House (former home of Edwina Pepper, founder/philanthropist, now the site for local kids’ summer camp). I washed away mice footprints from big piles of flatware, slipped all into ziplock bags labeled ‘clean 9/13’ and packed them into big plastic boxes. Then the big job: I scrubbed every yucky square inch of black fungus-ed refrigerators. (Yes, scoured every nook and cranny… another mother-motto.) Of course, it was not all work. One play day we flew down the Tug Fork River in a young entrepreneur’s $65,000 air boat. During slow times, he told us, he removes trash trapped along the river edge. At home he tends to his beehives. Another day we went to an amateur country music dance, watched a woman clog dance with taps on her boots, admired folks line dance and two-step across the dance floor. (No, I did not.) My time in the mountains of southern West Virginia was like being in another country. The Appalachian people with whom I shared time reminded me of the Cuban people I had met. Open, warm hearted, down to earth people who steadfastly carry on with their lives in the midst of poverty. People living in the moment, mindful of surrounding beauty. People finding happiness with what is. On our return trip, as Paul and I drove through early morning mountain mist, my mind swirled around all I had expe-

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

rienced. I kept thinking about those two devoted womyn. Kept thinking about the great number of people who have helped and need to keep helping Big Laurel Learning Center to continue “to inspire celebrations, education, and volunteerism as tools to promote healing and social change.” Kept thinking about standing with Kath in that room with purple walls and green ceiling, a room in need of repair and serious repainting. Kept hearing Kath inquire: “So, do you think you will come back? What do you think… is there about a 60% chance you will return?” MeredithElizabethReiniger@gmail.com

introducing a new columnist Trans*missions Building community is vital By Laine Delaney Everyone in the LGBTQ spectrum has encountered some sort of resistance or negativity, even if it wasn’t directed at them but at others that they know. It’s difficult for anyone to be themselves in the face of potential hostility and violence. Feeling alone can prolong struggling with sexuality or gender identity. Many trans* people are suffering in silence, afraid to speak up, come out and be themselves. It is challenging to uncover a welcoming face when our communities are quiet and hidden, only found through extensive searching. Many have trouble coming to terms with parts of themselves that conflict with what is considered acceptable by society. They don’t know allies who aren’t trans* who still stand by

and support us. They may not even be aware who among their friends and family might support who they are. Even if one is aware that there are other people out there who are like them, they may feel separated by social divides. We hear, “I can’t come out, because I don’t know anyone who is like me. All of those queer people are too fabulous / don’t share my views on other things / already know each other.” They don’t see the variety and numbers of us. That was my dilemma. I was lucky enough to be brought into a community of other trans* people by my partner Maur, who is also on the trans* spectrum. Before I started seeing him, I was afraid to attend any of the groups or events in Buffalo where I lived. I didn’t know whether I would fit in with any groups local to me. I didn’t know anyone who belonged to them. Which of my friends would be supportive? Would they be okay with me embracing and being myself? My partner ran a meet-up group, Genesee Valley Gender Variants, and was part of Rochester Trans Group. Not everyone is so fortunate. Possible solutions to this are: 1) Make your support known. Declaring your support gives someone who is lonely and terrified a place to turn. You may not be like them, but they’ll know that you are willing to treat them like a person and stand up to those who do not. 2) Tolerate differences within your community. Differences in politics, spirituality, capability, and personal taste will be taken into account regardless but should never be a reason to turn someone away or make them feel unwelcome. 3) Be present and be visible. Don’t be afraid to explain yourself and who you are, especially if it’s clear that people around you think otherwise. This isn’t always easy or safe; be careful, but be visible. Few of us are lucky enough to be engaged to a community organizer. Many are still alone and afraid. Let’s be visible

NOW OFFERING SPECIALIZED CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY AND HEALTHCARE TREATMENT TO THE GAY LESBIAN BISEXUAL TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY SAFE AND CARING ENVIRONMENT EXCLUSIVE LGBT TREATMENT GROUP SENSITIVE TO LGBT ISSUES LGBT EXPERIENCED CLINICIAN

585-325-5100

Administrative Offices 360 East Ave. Rochester NY 14604

Huther Hall 801-803 West Ave. Rochester NY 14611

Huther Health Clinic 360 East Ave. Rochester NY 14604

WWW.HUTHERDOYLE.COM

Esperanza Latina 235 N. Clinton Ave. Rochester NY 14605

and show them that there is a place for them within our communities, and that there are those who will stand by them till we are all treated as equals.

What’s Bothering Brandon? Not-Regretfully Yours, Brandon W. Brooks By Brandon W. Brooks This November I am determined to try and be less bothered by and more thankful for those around me. This includes my friends and adversaries, family members and coworkers, and those who have helped me grow into the person I am today. Following this path, I am led into the world of nostalgia and reminiscence that, I daresay, is not entirely unpleasant. As my heart and surrounding chest cavity begin to thaw out, old personal icons and role models begin to reemerge, reminding me of their role in carving and molding me into whom I am today. How heartwarming. When I think of role models in my life, I am not altogether surprised that a vast majority of these figures were women. From Buffy Summers and Daria Morgendorffer, to Wednesday Addams and Little Edie, these women spoke to some aspect of my psyche, strengthening my resolve to be the most authentic version of myself. That or maybe I’ve just always been a stubborn brat. Either way, I find that most of these females to whom I was drawn were usually endowed with a killer wit, a dark demeanor, and generally an outlook of that of an outsider. I suppose this is because as a young gay kid I felt like an outsider myself, looking into this world that was seemingly made for someone else; someone straight. What drew me to these “outsider females” was that they straddled both worlds. Their intellect and worldview made them outsiders in that they saw what others missed, and made a point to address it. This is turn would lead to their isolation; most people don’t like to be confronted regarding their shenanigans, verbally or otherwise. But these females were also able to live their lives in the light of day, be a part of dominant culture, accepted despite their differing viewpoints. I always wanted the lives these females lived, with one foot planted in another world. Whether I was slaying homophobic 315-ers, verbally eviscerating smallminded nematodes, or languishing over

my inability to differentiate pâté from cat food, these females were responsible for pulling me through some of my darkest times. They helped me realize that being my most authentic self was the only way to live my life, and anyone who thought otherwise was “of questionable breeding.” My resistance to self-adulteration, I feel, has led me to not only make great life choices (I shall never wear sweats) but also to form a great circle of friends and family. My friends are those who understand that friendship is more than a bond between two people brought about due to similarities, interests and necessity. They are men and women who are welcome to give and receive critiques, accept faults and triumphs, and acknowledge and understand when and where we disagree. Being intelligent and a good conversationalist is always a good start, even if you don’t hail from the landed gentry. Still moments allow me to see fully that I am indeed quite lucky to have found these people, and lucky to have been welcomed into their lives. This Thanksgiving I plan on meditating upon this idea of friendship, family and especially connectedness. I say connectedness in regard to being able and willing to make a connection with other people (despite my insides yelling against it). There have been many times where I have been more than tempted to simply resign myself to the fate of perpetual, and intellectual, solitude. I could wear tweeds and carry a pocket-watch, go for walks in the morning hours listening to Morrissey (my audio version of Lord Byron) and silently grimace at the ever-emerging failings of the youth generation. Oh it would be fulfilling indeed, but only for a short while. I imagine that, just like my tweeds, the fabric of my hardened heart would eventually wear thin, making this selfisolating life suddenly unfulfilling and full of regret. The fear of future regret is really what drives me to live my life as if I were a vampire slayer, a teenage cynic, a delightfully dark child, or a Long Island debutante from the late 1930s. I force myself to make and cultivate these connections, as I know I will regret not doing so in the future. Each time a connection is made, I am rewarded with these wonderful things called friendship and family. I also force myself to be the most authentic version of myself possible; anything other than that would simply be false. And so far, it’s working. When I look back at my short life of 26 years, I do so fondly. I cannot and would never want to unknow what I know now. There is no turning back, there is no regret. Questions, comments or critique? Please feel free to e-mail the author at brandonbrooks@mail.adelphi.edu ■

k r o W o D od y e o G ake Mon M od o G

The Gay Alliance is seeking a reliable, energetic self-starter to sell Empty Closet advertising for a generous commission. For more information, phone Susan Jordan at 244-9030 or e-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

A men’s “Golden Girls” house? It’s time for our community to establish our own “senior” home. Any mature men (over age 50) who would be interested in living in a communal style large house (mansion?) in the Park-East Ave corridor? Three-five men with their own room and bath, possibly a second room, sharing gourmet kitchen and common areas, maybe hire a cook for three nights/week. If interested in discussing, email: thomaso510@mac.com. Real estate agents who have insight are invited, too.

Crystal Meth Anonymous Meeting The group meets every Sunday at 4 p.m. at Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Meeting is on the second floor in the Hanley Room.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street, corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of September 2013. 1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music 2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 3rd Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 4th Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner! Our Potluck theme for November is “Harvest Cornucopia”. One definition of cornucopia is “an amount or supply more than sufficient to meet one’s needs”. I think that describes the number of recipes using our harvest foods — and perhaps what our table will look like when it is set out to share! No time to cook or shop? Just ask a friend or two and join us for food and fun! News from the Pews: The presentation on Transgender Issues was great! We learned a lot, including the terms and definitions used and the discrimination that transgendered folks encounter because people misunderstand the terms and conditions, as well as the laws that allow such discrimination. Thanks to the guys from Self Made Men who shared their knowledge and experience with us. You can call the Hotline at 585-2345092 or check our website at www.dirochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

EMPIRE BEARS We are loving ImageOut this year. As this is written, we’re only half way through the festival, and it is great. A lot of BEAR members attend screenings, and we have enjoyed so many great movies. We were proud to be the community cosponsor of a film again this year, and it was sexy. In November, you can meet the BEARS every Wednesday night at 6 at the Wintonaire for supper. You can always join us there, where Becky will learn your name, favorite drink, and birthday in no time at all. On the second Saturday, 11/9, we’ll be at the GAGV conference room on the fifth floor of the Auditorium Theater having our monthly potluck. Everyone is invited. Bring your favorite casserole and we provide pop, plastic, and paper. If you like to get together with friends for movies, bowling, dinner, hiking, walk-

ing, concerts, theater, cards, games, hockey and lacrosse games, meet the BEARS and get to know us.

Rochester Rams M.C.

As we all prepare ourselves for another holiday season, we ask all of you to come out and support our annual toy drive. Bring a new unwrapped children’s toy to our barnight on Saturday Nov. 16 and get a free drink on the Rams. All donations benefit the Roosevelt Children’s Center. Our regular barnight features like boot shine, coat check, and wall-to-wall hot men will be available at this full-service event. Nov. 27 we will be hosting our annual Rape ‘N’ Pillage Party from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. at the Bachelor Forum. What better way to kick off the holiday weekend than by gearing up in Leather and rutting around? The Rochester Rams M.C. is Rochester New York’s foremost gay motorcycle & leather club as well as being one of the oldest clubs of its type in the country. Our home bar is the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave., where we hold Bar Nights on the third Saturday of each month. We hold general meetings (open to the public) the Wednesday before each Bar Night at 7:30 p.m. at the Forum. For more info, visit our website: www.rochesterrams.com.

Rochester Trans Group There are so many TDOR events going on in November we are referring to it as the Trans Month of Remembrance! Please note that these dates may be tentative so be sure to check the event’s website for updated information. Here is a partial list as of 10/15: EVENTS 11/12 - Educational Panel. The Trans World Today: Creating A Future With Our Allies - Location Will Be Posted Exact Date & Details TBD. 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Contact Anne Tisher. 11/17 - Trans* focused church service 10:30 a.m. at Open Arms MCC (Metropolitan Community Church), 707 E. Main St. 11/19 - Candlelight Vigil at Brockport - SOUL - contact: Helen Fabre. 11/20 - Candlelight Vigil at RIT OUTspoken - contact: Jay Strobeck. 11/20 - Candlelight Vigil at Rustic Village - contact: Jason Ballard. 11/20 - Candlelight Vigil at MCC Open Arms 7: p.m. - contact Cooper Townsend. 11/21 - Skylar Kerigil speaking at SUNY Brockport. 11/22 - The Good, The Bad, & The Funny - contact: Shauna O’Toole. The Good, the Bad, and the Funny returns to Equal Grounds Coffee Shop at 7:30 p.m. This event was standing room only during Rochester Pride 2012. The Good, the Bad, and the Funny is an Open Mic event for the Trans* community to come and share our stories in a safe environment. Those who attended and participated in this event during Pride 2012 found it powerful and empowering. This event will cap the events surrounding the Transgender Day Of Remembrance as a positive affirmation of being Trans*. It is a day to tell the world that We Are Here and that We Have A Voice. All are welcome to attend. Only those who identify as Trans* will be able to sign up for time at the mic. This event is sponsored by: Shauna O’Toole/You Can’t Shave In A Minimart Bathroom; The Self Made Men; The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley.

11/22 - After Party at Tilt - contact Jason Ballard. MOCHA Center event? - contact: Christopher Wilson. Also the Syracuse Transgender Alliance of Central New York sent out this email: “We are organizing a Transgender Day of Remembrance memorial event to take place on the steps of City Hall on November 20 from 5 to 9 pm. We will stage a candle light vigil during which kids from the Q-center will tell the stories of our trans-sisters and brothers who lost their lives to violence. This is an opportunity for us to make a difference in our own lives and to show the community at large that we matter and that we will not be invisible. All our friends from across the state, especially those of you in Rochester, are invited to share this special evening with us. If you need help with lodging or travel, let me know we will try to arrange car pools and sleep overs.” The Rochester Trans Group will still meet at our regular day of the last Saturday in November, which is the 30th. This will be an open discussion support group. Open ended questions may be asked by co-facilitators to encourage discussion. People will be encouraged to talk about their trans-related personal issues while the rest of the group offers a sympathetic ear and possibly advice on their situation. Winter is coming, so come to a meeting and find out you are not the only one and you are NOT alone! We meet in the Gay Alliance’s office on the 5th floor area located in the Auditorium Theatre, 875 E Main St. on the last Saturday of each month between 3– 5:30 p.m. Parking is available in the back of the theatre off of Prince St. and College Ave. Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and they have instructions to let you in without paying the parking fee. Once in the door, walk down the hall to the main lobby, turn right just past the guard’s booth and the elevator will be right there; on the 5th floor just follow the signs to the meeting. Also if you’re coming by bus get off at the Prince St stop, walk up the sidewalk to the first set of doors (they have the number 875 in large letters over them). Once you’re in the lobby head toward the elevator and go up to the fifth floor and follow the signs. Our website is: www.rnytg.org or on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ RochesterTransGroup.

ROMANS The ROMANS is excited to report that turnout for both the September meeting and October nude swim was great and membership continues to grow. As the weather gets cooler, what is more enjoyable than getting together with a group of like-minded friends in a cheerful and cozy indoor environment? There will be two swim dates in November. ROMANS members will join the Rochester Naturists on the first Saturday of the month at its monthly nude swim at Harro East and later at the Men Only swim on the second Saturday. Members will also gather at a diner prior to the Harro East swim for a meet and greet clothed dinner. ROMANS regular meeting date for November will be on the 16th. It will be our Thanksgiving celebration. All activity information is available on the ROMANS website at http://www.wnyromans.com. You can also write to us at wnyromans@yahoo.com or call our inquiry line at 585-281-4964.

Team Rochester Gay Games 2014 Now that the autumn is here, Team Rochester is now actively recruiting participants for the Gay Games next August 9-16 in Cleveland. There are 35 sports, band and choral events to embody a theme of the Gay Games: “You don’t have to be good... you don’t have to be gay... you just have to be 18 or older”. Some of the 35 diverse sports include sailing, rowing, same-sex dance, darts, flag football, billiard and squash. Even if you wish to merely watch, there will be plenty to see at swimming, diving and body-building competitions. Team Rochester already has individuals and teams expressing interest for the following sports: bowling, 10K run, softball, volleyball, squash and golf. We welcome many more! This will be the closest the Gay Games will be to Rochester, so let’s go! More information is available at www. gg9cle.com for registration and details. Hotel rooms are already going quickly -- some of the more reasonable ones are 20 miles away from downtown Cleveland. For local information, please contact thomaso510@mac.com. In December Team Rochester will be having a meeting where we will include gathering ideas for team shirts. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

The Avenue Pub 38 Year Landmark in the Gay Community

The Avenue Pub 522 Monroe Avenue 585-244-4960

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment

See Miss Gay Rochester pageant on Nov. 10 Hopeful queens will take the stage on Nov. 10 at Harro East, 155 N. Chestnut St., as they vie for the title of Miss Gay Rochester 2014. The pageant, hosted by Aggy Dune, will honor Olympia LaPaige, 2013 titleholder, and will feature many of Rochester’s finest drag stars. The glamour begins at 7 p.m. – doors open at 6 p.m. Tickets are $15 advance and $20 at the door and are available at 140 Alex, the Avenue Pub, the Bachelor Forum and Thomas Lawrence Salon. To reserve tables call Wayne at 285-0119. ■

Dancers at a WAD concert. Photo: Jeff Mills.

World AIDS Day concert to benefit MOCHA Center

Guinevere Turner (“Who’s Afraid of Vagina Woolf” and “Breaking the Girls”) with Michael Gamilla. Photo: Garnetta Ely

ImageOut 21 celebrates Rochester’s LGBT community: sharing our stories By Robby Morris In October, with record setting presales and an increase in full festival pass sales, ImageOut, the Rochester LGBT Film & Video Festival, celebrated its 21st year of bringing one of the largest LGBT film festivals to our community. This year’s festival spanned 10 days, occupied three venues, and boasted 63 films from 21 different countries presented in 41 programs. From the opening night sold out screenings at The Little Theatre of Reaching for the Moon (a film about Pulitzer Prize winning writer Elizabeth Bishop) and Free Fall (a homoerotic tale of seduction, homophobia and bisexuality) to the closing night teen comedy GBF (“Gay Best Friend”) that was shown to a packed house at The Dryden, the week’s offering promised and delivered a diverse selection of programs that satisfied every film goer’s interests and tastes. One of the highlights of each year’s festival is the filmmakers and talent that come to Rochester to attend the screenings of their films and engage in Q&As with audiences. This year’s lineup of special guests included Emmy award winning filmmaker Scott Gracheff (the director of this year’s The Rugby Player, a documentary about United Flight 93 hero Mark Bingham), director Jane Clark (whose harrowing debut film Meth Head has won numerous festival awards across the country) and actress, director, writer and lesbian icon Guinevere Turner (who attended the screening of the romantic comedy Who’s Afraid Of Vagina Woolf in which she co-stars, and whose film Breaking the Girls, which she co-wrote, screened later in the festival).

In addition to special guests and an array of programming, ImageOut took a closer look at home with the world premiere of Shoulders To Stand On: The LGBT History of Rochester, NY, produced and directed by local filmmaker and ImageOut member and volunteer Kevin Indovino. One of the first screenings to sell out (and one of the most anticipated), this documentary chronicles Rochester’s very own LGBT movement and its history of political and social activism. Local activist and historian Evelyn Bailey, who writes a column in The Empty Closet titled Shoulders To Stand On, served as the film’s executive producer. Both Indovino and Bailey agreed that the film should make its debut at Rochester’s beloved LGBT film festival. “ImageOut is more than a cultural touchstone,” Ms. Bailey commented. “Capturing our stories, real or otherwise, is important. The most outrageous and the most common are ends of the spectrum that each of us needs to see and appreciate. ImageOut gives us that opportunity.” Another local filmmaker, Rick Porlier, whose short film Gay Expectations was included in one of this year’s short film programs, Home(Grown) Boys, echoes those sentiments of why ImageOut and the programs it offers continues to be an integral part of our community. “This festival shows that so many people are looking not just for expressions of themselves on a movie screen or for some escapism, but to share the experience with others,” he offers. “It is a very human attempt to find our place in the world.” For more information about ImageOut and future events, visit www.imageout.org. ■

Doing The (Positive) Thing presents the 13th Annual World AIDS Day Benefit Concert on Dec. 1 at 7 p.m. The concert will be hosted by Third Presbyterian Church at 4 Meigs St. (at East Ave.), and will feature performances by Dangerous Signs, Spark Youth Dance Company, Thomas Warfield, Jimmie Highsmith Jr., Billy DeMetsenaere, Scotty Ginett and others. The event will be sign language interpreted by Christopher Coles and Luane

Davis Haggerty. This year, the concert is in benefit of The MOCHA Center. MOCHA’s vision is to provide health and human services to people of color. Founded in 1996, the center serves both Rochester and Buffalo. Regular admission is $10, student admission (with ID) is $5. Tickets will available for purchase at Equal Grounds, OUTLandish, online, and at the door. For more information, visit www.facebook.com/doingthepositivething or email Director/ Producer Scotty Ginett at doingthepositivething@yahoo.com. ■

“War Horse” is an anthem for peace By Susan Jordan “War Horse” is at the Auditorium Theatre Nov. 5-10. Tickets can be purchased at ticketmaster. com, 800-745-3000, the Auditorium Theatre box office, and at rbtl.org. Jon Riddleberger (Joey, Topthorn), a New Jersey native, studied acting at NYU Tisch’s Experimental Theatre Wing, apprenticed at Actors Theatre of Louisville, is a company member of Theater Reconstruction Ensemble and now finds himself around the country on his first national tour. He answered some questions about the play. “Audiences can expect a moving night,” he said. “’War Horse’ is a show that sparks the audience’s imagination and really makes you a part of the event. Michael Murpurgo, who wrote the original book, says that ‘War

Jon Riddleberger

Horse’ is an ‘anthem for peace.’ It’s a love story between a boy and his horse, but the wider themes of community and the pointlessness of war are a huge part of the storytelling. The play asks us to enter the mind of an animal and see our own human actions from that perspective.” Jon is one of the puppeteers who make the horse come alive. He reveals, “The greatest chal-

Olympia LaPaige

lenge for me in this play is also the greatest gift. As a horse puppeteer my job is to be as present as I can be. We’re attempting to bring a live animal to the stage. Obviously we have lots of staging and choreography, but we also have to embrace the spontaneity of a horse and keep it alive. Physically the show is difficult. The horse puppeteering is highly physical so we all have to really take care of our bodies. We have a physical therapist who travels with us so that’s extremely helpful.” This is his first national tour. “I love touring. It’s really amazing that we get to bring this show to so many audiences. Each city is fresh to the show and it’s really satisfying to experience it for the first time with a new type of audience. It’s a great way to see the country. The only downside would be missing home. But it’s always a plane ride away!” Jon’s first role was the Cheshire Cat in “Alice in Wonderland”. “After that I began doing more and more plays,” he said. “I went to theater summer camp and then ultimately majored in drama at NYU Tisch’s Experimental Theatre Wing. “I grew up in Morris County, right outside NYC. We used to go into New York and see shows every once in a while. We had a community theater in town I would go to, as well as the Papermill Playhouse close by. I’ve lived in NYC since I started school at NYU so the city has become my home and I try to see shows whenever I can.” ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

The Keith Haring mural. Inset: The late Keith Haring works on the original mural.

Philadelphia restores 1987 Keith Haring mural The City of Philadelphia Mural Arts Program has undertaken the restoration of a mural created by iconic pop artist Keith Haring. We the Youth, originally created in 1987, is the only Keith Haring collaborative public mural remaining intact and on its original site. After months of wall repair and painstaking mural restoration, We the Youth will be returned to Haring’s original intent for the public to enjoy. We the Youth has been an iconic part of South Philadelphia streetscape for more than a quarter of a century. Recent damage to the wall, however, has prompted Mural Arts, with generous funding and support from the Keith Haring Foundation, to engage in intensive restoration of this contemporary work of art. With

a new owner recently buying the home in South Philadelphia, the Mural Arts Program agreed to adopt the mural as part of its Restoration Program to maintain important pieces of public art. The mural will be dedicated on Saturday, Nov. 2, as the concluding event of Mural Arts Month and part of an ongoing series of events celebrating the 30th Anniversary of the Mural Arts Program through October 2014. Located at 22nd and Ellsworth Streets, We the Youth was created in collaboration with CityKids of New York and Brandywine Workshop in Philadelphia. With its limned, primary-colored beauty, lyrical characters, and childlike innocence, We the Youth is quintessential Keith Haring. In the work and on the wall, Haring’s artistic vision – his energy, life, and spirit – serves as his testimony. A video of Keith Haring creating the original mural can

be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Aeg0xiceHeM. In concert with the mural’s restoration, the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society, in partnership with the Neighborhood Gardens Trust, is renovating the adjacent garden space at 22nd & Ellsworth. Local landscape architect Michael LoFurno, of Composite Inc., redesigned the garden space to be more accessible and better showcase the mural. New landscaping and site furniture will be implemented to complement the mural’s colors and design aesthetic. Together, these improvements will transform the space into a vibrant, inviting environment for the neighborhood to enjoy. Both projects are sponsored by the Keith Haring Foundation. About Keith Haring Pennsylvania-born Keith Haring (1958-90) was preeminent among the young artists, performers, and musicians whose work responded to urban street culture of the 1980s. When he arrived in New York City at the age of 19 to enroll in the School of Visual Arts, Haring found an alternative art world thriving outside the gallery and museum system, in the downtown streets, the subways, and clubs. Inspired by the graffiti artists whose marks covered the city’s subway cars, Haring began to draw in white chalk over the black paper used to cover vacant advertising panels in the subway stations. Not only was Haring able to reach a large and diverse audience with his subway drawings, but, eventually, the subway became, as Haring said, a “laboratory” for working out his ideas. There, he developed the series of images that would become his signature: the radiant baby, the barking dog, and the running figure. As early as 1982, Haring began exhibiting in galleries and museums around the world but continued to participate in public projects, including literacy campaigns and anti-AIDS initiatives. Building on earlier impulses to draw on everything from refrigerator doors to vinyl tarpaulins, Haring continued to use a variety of media in order to communicate to a massive audience, essential themes such as birth, death, love, and war. In February 1990, at age 31, Keith Haring died of AIDS-related illnesses. Since his death, he has been the subject of several international retrospectives. His work is in major private and public collections, including those of the Museum of Modern Art; the Whitney Museum of American Art; Los Angeles County Museum of Art; Art Institute of Chicago; the Bass Museum in Miami; Centre Georges Pompidou, Paris; Ludwig Museum, Cologne; and Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam. Although Keith Haring’s career was brief, his imagery has become a universally recognized visual language of the 20th century. For further information, see www.haring.com. Keith Haring Foundation In the wake of Keith Haring’s death the board of the Keith Haring Foundation (established by the artist in 1989)

Madame Vastra on “Dr. Who.”

has remained committed to the preservation of existing Haring murals. Over the past two decades, the Haring Foundation, with the full cooperation of the cities or institutions where Haring murals still exist, has offered support and advice on the restoration of over 16 murals in the U.S. and abroad. “Keith’s philosophy of art espoused accessibility and his public murals perfectly embody this credo. All of his public murals speak to and seek to engage with the specific communities in which they were created,” said Julia Gruen, Executive Director, The Keith Haring Foundation. “Having watched Keith paint several murals myself, I can attest to the joy their creation and the finished results brought to their communities. Having observed the restoration of many more, I also know how valued they are and how powerfully these works continue to resonate.”

Lesbian crime fighter returns to Dr. Who By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com One half of the fan favorite lesbian crime-fighting couple Madame Vastra and Jenny has confirmed the characters will return on the next series of Doctor Who. Scottish actress Neve McIntosh, who plays the Silurian sleuth, has confirmed she will be back to help out Peter Capaldi’s new Doctor in the 2014 run of the hit British science fiction show. “I can confirm I’m going to be in it again,” she told web interview series Flicks and the City. “[Head writer Stephen] Moffat’s already said we’re definitely going to be in the next series, so as far as I can tell it’s official unless he changes his mind.” When McIntosh was asked whether she would like to see a spin-off featuring her, her character’s wife Jenny, played by Catrin Stewart and butler Strax, played by Dan Starkey, McIntosh said she would love to see it happen. “It’s such a brilliant age. You can do so much in Victorian times, as it’s got that steam punk edge to it and can be a bit more edgy and dangerous,” she said. Last year, the couple was reintroduced to the audience (“Good evening, I am a lizard woman from the dawn of time. And this is my wife.”) in the Christmas episode “The Snowmen”. But McIntosh said she hopes the sexual themes in Doctor Who are further explored. “The sexual themes in it should be talked about more and embraced more,” she said. “So I think, we’ll have to see what kind of ideas people come up with.” McIntosh also revealed what she thinks of the choice for the new Doctor after she worked with Capaldi on 1999 drama Psychos. She said, “I can’t wait. I think he’s going to be fantastic. He’s such a good actor and such a nice man. I’ll be sad to not be working with Matt, but I’m really

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet looking forward to seeing what Peter can do with it.” - See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/lesbian-couple-madamevastra-and-jenny-return-doctor-who2014141013#sthash.M80z3eeI.dpuf

Travel

Sondheim revises “Company”; lead character is gay

Quincy is a mass of history part 2

The New York Times reports that Stephen Sondheim is working with director John Tiffany on a new production of his 70’s musical “Company” that would be centered around a gay man: The biggest change in this new “Company” would be the central character of Bobby. Whereas he has always been a straight man struggling with commitment issues and multiple girlfriends, he has been reconceived by Mr. Tiffany as a gay man with commitment issues and multiple boyfriends. And some characters have had gender reversals; the character of Joanne, who sings “The Ladies Who Lunch” and was originally played by Elaine Stritch on Broadway, was played by the Tony winner Alan Cumming (“Cabaret”) in Mr. Tiffany’s reading of the work at Roundabout last month. For years Mr. Sondheim and the musical’s book writer, George Furth, who died in 2008, batted back suggestions that Bobby was furtively intended to be a closeted gay man. But when Mr. Tiffany proposed actually making Bobby gay, Mr. Sondheim said in a telephone interview, the idea intrigued him. The Roundabout held a performance for a private audience on Oct. 18 starring Daniel Evans as Bobby. Bobby Steggert and Michael Urie are in the cast. A decision on whether to move forward with the production will be made soon thereafter. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2htKRr4QE ■

By Merle Exit What better way to celebrate the Declaration than attending a reenactment of the Continental Congress? I am taken to a place called The House, located at 65 Adams Street, the residence of the Adams family (not to be confused with the Addams Family) for four generations. The grounds are known as “Peace field” and include the gardens and Carriage House. We are directed to the Carriage House where Abigail Adams is giving us a bit of information as to what is going on and addresses us all as being men who own land. We are attending the finalizing of the Declaration of Independence to decide on what should or not be included. Since there are 56 delegates, we get to draw a name from a hat. All others beyond the 56 are there to assist their delegates. I have chosen the name William Paca and am seated with the other delegates from Maryland, given some papers that explain who I am and how I vote. There are about a half dozen actors to portray the major contributors and children are welcome to be delegates as well. The two debates focused on the subject of abolishing slavery and whether to blame the English or just the King. Abigail Adams made an appeal to her husband to include women. Each delegate votes, the Declaration is passed and we are able to sign our names to a copy. Upon leaving we are directed to The House for a reading of the document as each are given a line or two to read out loud. This is followed

24 hour emergency service Plumbing, Heating & Air Conditioning

Phone: 585-342-9251 www.plumbingplusny.com Sewer & Drain Cleanings Backflow device testing Hot water heaters Plumbing repairs (ie: toilets, faucets, sinks) Sump pumps Heating repair Installation of Heating systems Air conditioning systems Air Conditioning repairs New construction Residential and Commercial experts

Family owned and operated with over 30 years experience. Licensed Master Plumber

$15 off coupon for any service

by refreshment and games. About an hour later, there is a play at the gardens. It is a dramatization of the friendship between Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Adams’ “dearest friend” Abigail. No charge for any of this. I later go to Adams National Historical Park Visitors Center, located at 1250 Hancock Street. Now here’s a history bargain that begins with a 27 minute movie entitled “Enduring Legacy: Four Generations of the Adams Family”. It’s a story of service and sacrifices that shaped our nation. You will certainly recognize the voice of Tom Hanks. Take the $5 tour where you first hop on a trolley that takes you to Adams

Birthplaces. You’ll get a tour of the two homes. Back on the trolley for a tour of Peace Field, where you’ll visit The House and gardens. Trolley then takes you back to the Visitors Center where you can walk over to the United First Parish Church and view the crypt of the Adams family. I did notice that a rainbow flag was hanging from the church. One last place to see… the original Dunkin’ Donuts. When you first walk in it looks like any other Dunkin’ but go to the left and you’ll see seating from the 1950s, when this place first opened. Photos and stuff to read on the wall. For further information on Quincy go to www.thequincychamber.org. ■

Gay alliance news for november 2013

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Forum hosts Gay Alliance Volunteer Appreciation party By Jeanne Gainsburg On Sept. 24, the Gay Alliance held their 2013 Volunteer Appreciation Event, hosted by the Bachelor Forum. All volunteers who donated a total of five hours or more in the past year were invited to attend. The Gay Alliance currently has over 900 volunteers and just under 20,000 hours were donated last year! A huge thank you goes out to Peter Mohr, owner of the Bachelor Forum, for hosting and for financially supporting this event! To all of our amazing volunteers, thank you so very much for all your time and dedication to our agency! ■ The Gay Alliance held a Volunteer Appreciation party at the Bachelor Forum on Sept. 24. Left: Jeannie Gainsburg. Right: Forum owner Peter Mohr with Judy Cranston. Thanks to Peter for the free drinks! Photos: Ove Overmyer

Kerry Hanratty Ronald Pratt, Kevin West, Jeannie Gainsburg and Emily Jones.

Gay Alliance Volunteer-of-the-Month: Kerry Hanratty Congratulations to Kerry Hanratty for being chosen as the Gay Alliance Volunteer-of-the-Month. Kerry first got involved with the Gay Alliance in September of 2012 as a Library and Archives volunteer. Shortly after this he began his work as a Gay Alliance office volunteer. Kerry comes in weekly to help with office tasks and answer phones. He has also jumped in as needed to assist with senior programming, bulk mailings and more. Kerry is so capable and he has done such a great job helping us

out in the office that we recently assigned him the task of new office volunteer trainer. Last summer Kerry joined Ride For Pride 2013, the Gay Alliance bike ride fundraiser. He biked a hilly 50-mile loop ride and helped us raise over $22,000 for the Gay Alliance! Thank you to Kerry from the staff and board at the Gay Alliance for all of your hard work, energy and commitment. We are so grateful to have you on our volunteer team! ■

Gay Alliance Youth (Ages 13-18) Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main Street, Rochester 14605

Youth

Todd Plank and Kelly Clark.

Gay Alliance Youth Program The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun!

Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group (Ages 13-18) Thursdays, 5:30-6:30pm Gay Alliance Library (1st floor, off Prince St. lobby) 875 E. Main Street For more information: dawnb@gayalliance.org The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main Street, Fifth Floor (Auditorium Theater) Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: 585 244-8640

Terry Schwartz, Scott Fearing and Bud Minard.

4 of the Genesee Valley

Empowering pride for 40 years

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Web: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Board Co-Presidents: Emily Jones, Bruce Gorman Acting Executive Director: Scott Fearing Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg Database: Kat Wiggall Youth Intern: Dawn Balsis Book keeper: Christopher Hennelly The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for november 2013

Youth Group update: meet on Fridays at Open Arms By Dawn Balsis I just wanted to introduce myself again to EC readers. My name is Dawn Balsis and I am an MSW student at Boston University. As part of my field experience I am interning with the GAGV Youth Program. It has been a wonderful experience so far and the youth have been fantastic. I look forward to every Friday night. The purpose of this group is generally for LGBT youth and their Allies to hang out in a safe place. Ages 13-18 are welcome. In addition to hanging out, we are incorporating educational components such as sexual health, healthy relationships, basic life skills, creative activities, etc. On occasion we will also show movies, play board games and follow any other appropriate suggestions made by the youth. The GAGV Friday Youth Night is located at Open Arms MCC, 707 East Main St. in Rochester. We are grateful to Open Arms MCC for being so gracious and letting us use this space for the youth. Gender Identity Support Group In addition to Friday Nights, the Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group meets every Thursday from 5:30 p.m. until 6:30 p.m. Ages 13-18 are welcome. The Group meets at the GAGV library, located on the first floor, off the Prince St. lobby at 875 East Main St. This is a support group – NOT a social group! ■

Speaking Engagements & Tabling, October 2013 10/3...... Transgender Inclusion at Rochester Rehab/Ventures PROS 10/6...... Power of the Straight Ally at First Unitarian Society of Ithaca 10/8...... Transgender Inclusion in our Schools at Montessori Academy at the Dr. Freddie Thomas Learning Center 10/8...... Transgender Issues in Healthcare at University of Rochester School of Nursing 10/10..... 24th Annual Family Health and Fitness Expo at Fair & Expo Center 10/10..... LGBT Issues for HR Managers at Human Resource Association of the Twin Tiers 10/16..... Health and Wellness Fair at Monroe Community College Damon City Campus 10/18..... Transgender Inclusion in Our Schools at the Millbrook School in Albany 10/22.... LGBT Issues in Social Work at Nazareth College 10/23.... Straight Talk: The Power of the Ally at Alfred University 10/24..... LGBT Primary Care for the Medical Students and Family Medicine Residents at the University of Rochester 10/24..... Transgender Issues in Healthcare for the medical students and family medicine residents at the U of R 10/25.... SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program open to the public at Rochester Red Cross 10/2...... Caring for the LGBT Substance Abuse Client at Huther Doyle 10/30.... Caring for the LGBT Substance Abuse Client at Monroe Community College 10/30.... LGBT Identity at Rush Henrietta High School GSA “They were passionate about educating others in a kind but direct and engaging manner. What a great presentation, wished we had more time -- what a great group!” “This presentation could not have been better. Already at the top.” “They were open and honest. I was in awe of how much info they were willing to share. Nothing could have made this presentation any better but more time!”

Rainbow SAGE members met for lunch at Crossroads Cafe, 725 Goodman St., on October 22. Photo: Brian Hurlburt

SAGE calendar November 5 10:30 Yoga, 11;30 lunch chicken & dumplings, salad, dessert, beverage. Planning December calendar. November 7 11am Yoga, 11:30 Lunch Brown bag lunch & beverage, Game Day. November 12 10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch Brown bag lunch and beverage, 1 pm HCR Home Care Kathy Hart. 2 pm Book exchange November 14 11 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch – to La-Tea-Da For lunch and tea November 19 10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch Brown bag and beverage, scrabble game, 6:30 Coffee and Conversation at Equal Grounds (750 South Ave.) November 21 11 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch brown bag and beverage, 1 pm Lifespan Bryan Reilly. 2 pm Make table center pieces. November 23 Sage Thanksgiving Dinner at Open Arms MCC Church, 707 E. Main St. 2:30 to 7 pm. BRING A DISH TO PASS. November 26 10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch, Brown bag and beverage, Euchre. November 28 HAPPY THANKSGIVING! NO PROGRAM. Note: We will be meeting at Open Arms mcc church, 707 e. Main St. Gay Alliance Program Partner

Library & Archives The Gay Alliance Library & Archives Hours: Every Monday & Wednesday: 6-8pm 875 E. Main Street, (off Prince St. lobby) First Floor, 585-244-8640

n o

GAR

The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD) The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at: www.GayAlliance.org

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar). Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Many monthly get togethers, some at Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main St. 244-8640; SAGE@gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27. Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529. Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance. Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org. 1 West Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income HIV positive clients. No criminal cases. Appointments are scheduled at area medical provider locations or by calling 295-5708. Trillium Health Trillium Health is the leading provider of HIV/ AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. Satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. Trillium Health is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www.trilliumhealthny.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200, Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay. Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520. MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400. Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care. Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon. 315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. Trillium Health See www.trilliumhealthny.org

HCR Home Care

We provide a full multidisciplinary team consisting of nursing, social work, physical, occupational, and speech therapies as well as home health aides who have completed the eight-hour cultural competency program provided by the Gay Alliance. For more information, contact us at 585-272-1930 or visit us online at HCRhealth.com. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

TRANSGENDER

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV 5th floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org.1 West Main St. Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income clients seeking a name change. Other legal services for low-income clients include family law issues, bankruptcy, unemployment insurance hearings, wills and advance directive documents for clients with serious illnesses. Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 5:30-6:30 GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby 875 E. Main St., Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women

lesbians of color www.oursistacircle.com. The first social networking site for lesbians of Black, Asian, African American, Latina, Native American, Pacific Islander, Chicano, Biracial & other lesbians of color, launched 2009. OurSistaCircle the first free social networking site to offer Skype mental health counseling. No nudity policy on member profiles. Currently 10,800 active members. Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs, support services free. Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Mondays

LORA Coffee Social Every Monday, 7-9:30pm, Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/LORACoffeeSocial. Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. Free syphilis testing Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, Trillium Health Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds. 426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Tuesdays

Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesdays L.O.R.A Knitting Group Now meeting on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month from 7 to 9:30 p.m. at Cross Roads Coffee House, 752 South Goodman St. Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 BrightonHenrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com. Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com

Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursdays

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays, 5:30-6:30, GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby. 875 E. Main St. Ages 13-18. 244-8640. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Buffalo Women’s Coffee Social Every Thursday, 7 pm - 9:30pm, Spot Coffee Shop, 765 Elmwood Ave. Buffalo. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/groups/buffaloles/ Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

FRIDAYs

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St., 244-8640 GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net. LORA 2nd Friday LGBT Potluck 2nd Fridays, 6:30pm - 9:30pm. Please call for location. Bring a friend & a dish to pass! Everyone Welcome! Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate Supplied. For more info: http://www.facebook. com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 LORA LGBT Dinner & Movie 3rd Fridays, 6pm Dinner followed by a movie we voted on at dinner! Call for location. Bring a friend a join us for dinner & movie night! For more info: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ L.O.R.A.14464/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 LORA LGBT Gaymes Night 4th Fridays, 7pm - 9:30pm. Please call for location. Bring a friend & a snack to share Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate Supplied. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/ groups/L.O.R.A.14464/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

SATURDAYs

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5:30pm, GAGV fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org. Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV, 875 E. Main, 5th floor, 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sundays

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) For location: 244-8460; pflag@gayalliance. org.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main St. Rochester, 10:30am, 2718478

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com LORA LGBT Sunday Brunch 1st & 3rd Sundays, 11:30am - 2:30pm. Opa! Authentic Greek Koozina, 1175 Jefferson Rd. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/lorasundaybrunch Contact Person: Cathie; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 Gutter Gals - Bowling 2nd & 4th Sundays, 6:30pm - 9:30pm. Bowl A Roll, 1560 Jefferson Rd. $5.70 for 2 games & $2.50 for shoes. For more info: http://www. facebook.com/groups/guttergals/ Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 Crystal Meth Anonymous Sundays, 4pm, Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave., Hanley Room (2nd floor.)

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion. Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013

November SUNDAY 3

Dignity Integrity Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 5 Election Day

Saturday 9

Happy Harvest Festival. Noon-5 pm Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St.

SUNDAY 10

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Miss Gay Rochester Pageant. Hosted by Aggy Dune. Harro East, 155 Chestnut St. Doors open 6 pm, pageant starts 7 pm. Advance tickets at Thomas Laurence Salon, Green With Envy Salon, 140 Alex, Avenue Pub, Bachelor Forum. Tickets $15 advance, $20 at the door. To reserve tables call Wayne at 285-0119.

MONDAY 11

219th anniversary of the Canandaigua Treaty between Haudenosaunee (Six Nations Confederacy) and United States. Representatives from Six Nations and U.S. will march to honor the continuing the “chain of friendship” agreement between nations. Recognition of the 400th anniversary of the Two Row Wampum between the Six Nations and the Dutch. Free, open to public. 1:30 pm: Parade from Canandaigua Primary School (96 W. Gibson St.) to Ontario County Courthouse (27 N. Main St.) 2 pm: Commemoration Ceremony; front lawn of Ontario County Courthouse. 4:30 pm: Potluck Dinner; Primary School Cafeteria. 6 pm: Keynote Speaker Chief Jake Edwards (Onondaga): Primary School Auditorium. Native American Arts and Crafts sale 10:30 am-7 pm at the School.

TUESDAY 12

Trans* World Today: A Community Forum will take place 7-9 p.m., at Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. A panel of experts will look at a wide range of transgender issues. Sponsored by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley. Co-hosts include Pride at Work AFL-CIO, Trillium Health, Rochester Trans Group, MOCHA Center, Genesee Valley Gender Variants and The Self Made Men.

THURSDAY 14

Out & Equal Second Thursday networking event. 5:30-7:30 pm, at Bamba Bistro, 282 Alexander St.

FRIDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for December-January issue. 244-9030 or susanj@ gayalliance.org.

SATURDAY 16

Nursing Friends of Susan B. Anthony House invites all members of the nursing profession to a professional nursing seminar, “Founding a New Professional Nursing Association for New York State: The History of ANA-NY”. Keynote speaker: Dianne Cooney Miner, Ph.D., RN, Dean of Wegmans School of Nursing at St. John Fisher College. 10-11 am, Susan B. Anthony House Carriage House (behind Visitors Center, 19 Madison St.) Reservations: Sylvia Schenck: 585-3387988. $5. Parking available on both sides of Madison St. 9 am-noon. Rochester Rams barnight. Bring unwrapped toy for Rams holiday toy drive, get free drink. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. ROMANS Thanksgiving Celebration. http://www.wnyromans.com.

SUNDAY 17

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 19

Transgender Day of Remembrance Candlelight Vigil at Brockport, hosted by SOUL. Contact: Helen Fabre. Empire Bears potluck at GAGV conference room, 5th floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. 6:30; bring a dish.

WEDNESDAY 20

Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) Candlelight Vigil at RIT. Hosted by OUTspoken. Contact: Jay Strobeck. Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) Candlelight Vigil at Rustic Village entertainment center, across from MCC. 7 pm, Contact: Jason Ballard. Gay Alliance Annual Meeting. 6 p.m. at MVP Health Care, 220 Alexander St. For more information call 244-8640.

THURSDAY 21

Skylar Kerigil speaking on trans issues at SUNY Brockport.

FRIDAY 22

Gay Alliance Speak Out training from 6-9 pm at HCR Homecare 85 Metro Park, Rochester, NY 14623 Registration is required. http://www.gayalliance.org/speakout.html The Good, The Bad & The Funny with trans open mic. Equal Grounds Coffee Shop, South Ave. at Caroline. 7:30 pm. Contact: Shauna O’Toole. TDOR After Party at Tilt - Contact Jason Ballard.

SATURDAY 23

SAGE Thanksgiving Dinner at Open Arms MCC Church, 707 E. Main St. 2:30-7 pm. Bring a dish to pass. Gay Alliance Speak Out training from 8:30 am-5 pm at HCR Homecare 85 Metro Park, Rochester, NY 14623 . Registration is required. http://www.gayalliance.org/speakout.html

SUNDAY 24

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Potluck dinner.

WEDNESDAY 27

Rochester Rams Rape ‘n’ Pillage Party. Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 9 pm-2 am.

THURSDAY 28 Thanksgiving

SATURDAY 30

Rochester Trans Group. Open discussion support group. Meets 5:30-7:30 at Gay Alliance office, fifth floor, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St.

DECEMBER SUNDAY 1

World AIDS Day Concert. Third Presbyterian Church at 4 Meigs St. (at East Ave.) 7 pm. $10, student admission (with ID) $5. Tickets at Equal Grounds, OUTLandish, online and at the door. For more information, visit www.facebook. com/doingthepositivething AIDS Quilt panels. Equal Grounds, 150 South Ave. Through Dec. 7. ■

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30am. 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478. Cash paid for CDs, DVDs & BluRays. Highest prices in Rochester. Free pick up. Call 465-8643.

PERSONALS

Looking for Mr. Right. GWM, 47, in great shape, looking for LTR. Non smoking guy in good shape. All races and ages, please apply. Contact 585-698-8157.

SERVICES

Man to Man Rubdown. Relax with this experienced, fit, healthy. middle-aged, non-smoking GWM. Central location. Private home. Incalls/outcalls. Reasonable rates. cell#585-773-2410 or home#585235-6688 or email:magichands@rochester.rr.com Ask questions. Established life coach opens your direction about goals, questions, issues using classic tarot symbology and fascinating, confidential discussion. $65/hour in your home/office. kivawyandotte@gmail.com Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478 Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small. Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interi-

or & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304517-6832. Martin Ippolito master electrician. Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585-266-6337. Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting and Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year round and gutter cleaning in spring or fall. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com.

FOR RENT

Three rooms for rent & 1 family room large enough for a studio. Four bedroom home with two bathrooms. Located in Brighton/Twelve Corners area. Students and Grad Students welcome, convenient to UofR, RIT, Nazareth, St John Fisher. Separated / Divorced men straight, gay or bi are preferred and welcome. Centrally located with easy access to 390, 590 and 490, Elmwood, Winton and Monroe. Gay/Bi men preferred and welcome. No drugs, must be responsible. See add on Craigslist or contact write me at 12Corners_Brighton_ Rooms4Rent@gmx.com. Send pic with a little bit about yourself and your room/ roommate needs.

HOUSEMATES

Seeking employed housemate to share large suburban home. Off street parking, internet, cable, telephone, furnished private bedroom. Rent includes food (you cook or I cook or together). Call 266-4582. Leave your number clearly and repeat twice. ■

novemBER 2013 • number 473 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Bed & Breakfast

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas. Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney. Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 707 E. Main St., Rochester, NY 14605 from 1 to 3pm. Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org - Join us!

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 473 • novemBER 2013