Empty Closet, September 2013 by Out Alliance

The Empty Closet

local, state and national news, newsmaker interviews, opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars, comics, and health resources

number 471

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley SEPTEMBER 2013

The Gay Alliance celebrates 40 years: Shoulders To Stand On film premiere is Sept. 29 at Dryden

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Empowering pride for 40 years

of the Genesee Valley Kevin Indovino (right) interviews John Curtis. The Producer’s Premiere is at the Dryden Theatre of the George Eastman House.

who saw the need to do things. They had everything to lose. They weren’t doing it to be in a historical documentary someday, or thinking about their legacy. They were reacting to something that needed to be done. “People always say, we’re the city of Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass. They too were not doing activism in terms of their future fame. They were doing what they had to do. Our LGBT pioneers deserve to be included in the hall of fame with them. “The title Shoulders to Stand On says it all. It’s about recognizing and celebrating the people and organizations that have made Rochester a pretty good place to live for lesbian, gay, bi and trans people. It didn’t happen by magic – it took a lot of passion and imagination.” Kevin pointed out that the documentary is part of a historical archiving project, which also involves the digitization of the

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EC, oral histories recorded by Evelyn Bailey and hopefully a website that will archive all the historical materials, including those at Cornell and the University of Rochester. It will also include a toolkit for teachers, to show them how to use the website for their classroom studies. The documentary film will be available for purchase on BluRay and Kevin hopes that it will be televised on certain PBS stations. It will also be broken down into sections that can be

used for different educational purposes, i.e. a class on HIV/ AIDS. Kevin noted, “It’s important to preserve our history because a lot of it is quickly disappearing. Back in the ‘70s WCMF hosted a radio show, Green Thursdays, which was produced by early activists like Patti Evans and Bob Crystal. All of those shows have been lost – probably were never even recorded. There’s a huge chunk of history that is gone. We have no idea what

GAGV Board Co-Chairs: We’re stepping down but not going away

ping aside from our co-chair roles as we honor this board approved succession plan. Emily will continue her leadership of the Development Committee and Bruce will stay on in his role as Board Secretary. We continue to be energized by the extensive and exciting work being done to better serve our LGBT population and the community at large. The work being done with our senior and youth groups who both face issues of rejection and isolation continues. We are confident that with the leadership of Scott Fearing and the dedicated work of his staff and volunteers that the agency will continue to thrive as it moves forward with such important work. Finally, we are appreciative of the support we received from the entire board, the agency staff and our entire Rochester Community. Let us continue our collective efforts to empower our LGBT community for many years to come. ■

By Bruce Gorman and Emily Jones It was with a sense of enthusiasm and commitment to the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley that we announced last fall that we had taken on the role of Co-Chairs of the GAGV Board of Directors for the next year. At that time we had also put in place a succession plan for board leadership so as to “grow” our own leadership team going forward. It is important to stress that every well-run organization has a succession plan in place to insure that the organization has talented, fresh leadership to foster its growth. As we prepare this fall to hand over the executive leadership of the GAGV Board, it is important to know that we are not leaving the board, just step-

those shows might have contained. That’s why it is important to do this project and make sure our history is saved.” He added, “There are people in the community who have items stored in their closets and don’t realize their historical significance. It’s important to save our history. The other thing is, (Premiere continues page 3)

On the Fringe... Page 27

photo: Nick Fancher

By Susan Jordan The Gay Alliance will host a Producer’s Premiere and Gala for “Shoulders To Stand On,” the documentary feature film, on Sept. 29 at the Dryden Theatre of the George Eastman House. The film traces the history of Rochester’s LGBT community and equality movement from pre-Stonewall times to today. The screening begins at 4 p.m., followed by a gala reception to meet some of the individuals in the film. Cost is $40 and since space in the theatre is limited, those who would like to purchase tickets should go as soon as possible to www.gayalliance.org. Producer/director Kevin Indovino told The Empty Closet, “One question we’re asking a lot of people is, looking at the LGBT movement in Rochester, what is it about our city that made it possible to be progressive? When you start talking to the early pioneers you realize the courage it took to step out of the closet in the early ‘70s and become visible and let their voices be heard. They were risking their jobs, their ties with family and, to some extent, risking their lives. “That seems to be the common thread. They were people

Contents

Editorials....................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Ally Howell..................... 7 Candidates to Watch................12 Health News: .............................15 Opinion: Killer goes free .............15 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Fringe Festival...27 Gay Alliance: Safe Zone.............30 Rainbow SAGE News................31 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Proud Publisher of New York State’s Oldest Lgbt Newspaper

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

An American story “Miko (chief) Apuckshunnubbee… was the senior Chief to the Choctaw Nation, and upwards of eighty years of age, and was much respected for his virtues.” According to tribal records, Apuckshunnubbee was born around the year 1740. He and his family occupied a log cabin in Oklafalaya, one of three Choctaw territories in what is now Mississippi. He was known to have fathered four children…. He was a tribal Chieftain as early as 1801, and was one of the signers of the treaties of 1805-1816, and the Doak’s Stand Treaty of 1820. His judgment and wisdom were honored by all that knew him…. “A celebrated chief, he was a famous warrior and orator. In his lifetime his influence was supreme over the entire Nation, even beyond the boundaries of his immediate domain.” “Apuckshunnubbee was a large man, tall and bony, with a down look, and was of the superstitious and religious cast of mind. He was by his people called a good man, and it is said that he was a man of deep thought and that he was quite an intellectual.” Other accounts gave testimony to his interest in the education of this people. In the early autumn months of 1824 the three chiefs of the Choctaw Nation came together in the Mississippi Territory to plan a journey to Washington

City to protest violations of the Treaty of Doak’s Stand. These Chiefs were Apuckshunnubbee, Pushmataha and Moshulatubbee and they represented the entire Choctaw population. The Doak’s Stand Treaty was formulated to swap a designated area in Mississippi for a much larger tract of land farther west. The Treaty had already been violated by white settlers in the western lands and this was to be the subject of talks with President Monroe in Washington. … The small delegation took to the Natchez Trace, beginning the arduous trip to the eastern seat of government. Late in the day of October 18th, 1824, a large part of the deputation arrived in Maysville, Kentucky, by stagecoach. They were directed to the establishment of Captain Langhorne for food and lodging…. According to the report in the Maysville Eagle, “Apuckshunnubbe, the great Medal Chief, after supping at Captain Langhorne’s on Wednesday last, in the evening attempted to go to the river, missed his way, and was precipitated over the abutment of the road and received so severe contusions to his head and other injuries, as to render his recovery hopeless. He lingered until Friday night…” Another version says he “fell” from the second floor window of Langhorne’s house. Many believe that his death was NOT an accident – that he was murdered on orders of Indiankiller Andrew Jackson. Pushmataha also did not survive his trip to Washington City (“alcoholic poisoning” was the explanation). Apuckshunnubbee was given a burial with full military honors. The exact location of his grave is now lost; it is somewhere behind the Maysville Community Center. Andrew Jackson is on our $20 bill. In 1838 the Choctaw were removed to Oklahoma on the Trail of Tears. Many died. Apuckshunnubbee was my great-great-great-great-great grandfather. ■

W. Bruce Gorman, Co-President and Secretary Emily Jones, Co-President, David Zona, Treasurer, John Altieri, Chris Hilderbrant, Jeff Markarian, Peter Mohr, Jessica Muratore, Steve Santacroce, William Schaefer

Gay Alliance Executive Director Scott Fearing

The Power of Out For decades the LGBT Community has talked about the importance of being “out.” This community shorthand for being “out of the closet” is often confusing to our friends and allies. I have heard this confusion voiced as not understanding why someone would want to tell others about their “sex life.” To those of us who have come out, we know that is not what it means. We know that coming out is indeed a very personal experience; a sometimes easy, sometimes harrowing, sometimes confusing journey. A journey that does have to do with our sexuality (and our love and families), but little to do with sharing our sex behaviors. A life lived out means having to come out to family, friends, co-workers and strangers. Ultimately, no matter the context, being out is about a life lived in an honest and authentic way. The coming out process is not limited to LGBT people. Our friends and family members, our allies, have their own coming out to deal with. They must summon the courage to stand up and challenge lies and bias and they also risk rejection. A different rejection, but potentially equally painful. I have found that my allies need my support as much as I need theirs. I need to encourage them to live out and be proud in their ally identity. It is a passion for personal

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authenticity and a zeal for honesty that makes the work of the Gay Alliance unique. Ensuring that people can live fully authentic, fully out lives is at the heart of all the work that the Gay Alliance does. From the newspaper you hold, to our renowned education and training programs, to our community work, everything is encouraging, guiding, and supporting people as they live out lives. When the Gay Alliance opened its doors, most of society provided LGBT people assistance by institutionalizing us, offering us “cures,” threatening us with lobotomies and generally disowning us. In 1967, news anchor and reporter Mike Wallace summed up feelings of the day in the television program, “CBS Reports: The Homosexual” this way: “The average homosexual, if there be such, is promiscuous. He is not interested or capable of a lasting relationship like that of a heterosexual marriage. His sex life, his love life, consists of a series of one–chance encounters at the clubs and bars he inhabits. And even on the streets of the city — the pick-up, the one night stand, these are characteristics of the homosexual relationship.” Times have changed. Maybe not enough, but a great deal. As the Gay Alliance continues changing how we do our work, we remain committed and passionate about lives lived out. With increasing LGBT visibility in American society, people often feel that the need for groups like the Gay Alliance is diminishing. I would argue the opposite. As we face fewer common enemies, we need to remain connected and not lose sight of our shared history, identity or journeys. Homophobia is not dead. Not here in Rochester, N.Y., not in the United States; it may be weakened, but trust me, it survives. So must we, and that is why we must continue to follow the wisdom of Glinda and her plea to “Come out, come out, where ever you are.” ■ 9/13

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SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

(Premiere from page 1) we are recognizing this history while many of the pioneers are still alive, so they can see the record of what they have done.” Since the ‘90s, a generation of LGBT people has grown up thinking of Pride as a big corporate-sponsored boozin’ and cruisin’ party, without political or grassroots content. Kevin commented, “Today’s younger generation needs to realize that the fight isn’t over. It kind of comes full circle – we are capturing and celebrating this history, but we also need to make sure that youth today know this history and that their freedom comes from people who stepped out of the closet and risked their lives – and also that there is work still to be done.” Even if many youth couldn’t care less, Kevin says, “We want that one person to see this and say, ‘Here’s where I can make a difference.’” He said, “To wrap it all up, it’s about the importance of saving our history, and second, the importance of celebrating who we are and where we come from. It’s not just the LGBT movement that made it happen – it’s about Rochester and that there’s something here that makes us stand up for what’s right. One thing that comes through in the documentary is that very early on, Rochester became an educated community, and education is where activism comes from.” Evelyn Bailey, Shoulders To Stand On organizer, has been working on documenting the history of the Rochester community for over a decade. Evelyn said, “The Rochester LGBT community has a story to tell and a history to be documented. The 90 minute Shoulders to Stand On documentary does both. The Producer’s Premiere will be a very PROUD moment for me. It is the culmination of a 10-year labor of love. “I have been awed by and humbled by your stories. YOU have made the history and Rochester will be the first community to produce a documentary on its own history. I am very proud to be a part of the Rochester LGBT community, and have been overwhelmed many times by the community’s generosity. “I must mention Tony Mascioli. Tony challenged me to get serious about raising money. He supported my efforts from beginning to end. Tony died on Aug. 9 of this year. I know he will see this documentary. To Tony and all those who have in any way participated in the making of this documentary film -- the Gay Alliance and I are deeply grateful. Let us all celebrate, be proud, be out -- and continue to be shoulders of the future!” For those who miss the premiere, the film will also be screened at ImageOut in October. Here’s where to go in order to donate to the Alliance’s Forty and Fabulous fundraiser and keep Rochester’s LGBT history going for another four decades (until there really is no more work to be done): http://www. firstgiving.com/fundraiser/GayAllianceStaff/fabulous-40-challenge. ■

NewsFronts Local and State

Photo: Susan Jordan

page one

Kelly Clark is moving on to get her doctorate By Susan Jordan Kelly Clark, Intergenerational Program Director for the Gay Alliance, will be leaving at the end of September to pursue a doctorate in Executive Leadership through the School of Education at St. John Fisher. Kelly joined the GAGV staff in October 2008 and served first as coordinator of the Anti Violence Project. A year ago she became Intergenerational Program Director, working with the Youth Group and Rainbow SAGE. GAGV Acting Executive Director Scott Fearing said, “I have often joked that recruiting Kelly was one of the top accomplishments of my professional career. Well, it is actually not a joke. She has been an amazing asset to the agency and the work we do, and will be missed. Kelly’s background working on college campuses was invaluable as she began to change how we worked with LGBT youth. She understood that we needed to focus on skill development and set expectations on behaviors and involvement to ensure the next generation of leaders for our communities.” Kelly told the EC that her doctoral program is designed for working adults, with classes every other Friday and Saturday for three years. “They pace it really nicely,” she said. “I will have to find a part time job. The reason for leaving the Gay Alliance is that small agencies require a lot of time and energy and I just won’t have it. I will devote most of my time to classes and research and would not be able to do justice to the work at the GAGV.” Kelly is in an accelerated program. “In the first year you pick a dissertation topic and read the literature and write a couple of chapters of your dissertation based on that. The second year you develop your research project and at the end of the year you’re punching your data. The third year (it’s really 28 months), you finish the final version of your dissertation and pull it all together.” Kelly thinks her topic could be masculinity and homophobia, analyzing the ways in which concepts of masculinity lead to homophobic violence. Ultimately she would like to lead a national agency.

Kelly said, “I think the Gay Alliance has been a really good opportunity to hone my skills in LGBT issues. Before coming here I was doing very broad based diversity work, a little bit of everything from gender to racism to homophobia. Working here helped me polish my experience in one specific area. It will help me discern the role masculinity plays in homophobic violence. I need to step back from the front lines now and look at the big picture – which will help me help those in the front lines.” Kelly will remain in the area for now and will stay active, for instance on the Pride committee. She says, “My big concern about the GAGV and our community is that we not forget the lessons of the civil rights movements that have come before us. Rights we take for granted can be taken away in the blink of an eye. I’m concerned that the community not abandon the Gay Alliance just because we are getting some of these laws passed. I will personally continue to support the work of the Gay Alliance.”

ESPA issues first 2013 candidate endorsements The Empire State Pride Agenda has issued its first endorsements for the 2013 election year. Rochester Region: Monroe County Legislator District 17 Joseph Morelle, Jr. (D); Rochester Mayor Thomas Richards (D); Rochester Councilmember-at-large Matt Haag (D); Rochester Councilmember-atlarge Dana Miller (D); Brighton Town Supervisor William Moehle (D). “We’re proud to endorse these worthy candidates for the 2013 election season, and to participate in what is shaping up to be a very exciting time for LGBT representation throughout New York State,” said Pride Agenda Executive Director Nathan M. Schaefer. “With the highest number of qualified LGBT candidates ever to be endorsed by the Pride Agenda -- including the first-ever viable transgender candidate to run for New York City Council -- we’re continuing our history as an organization shaping the current political landscape, and look forward to continuing our important work to elect officials at all levels of government who support diversity and equality.” Candidates request consideration of an endorsement by completing and returning a Pride Agenda candidate questionnaire which is publicly accessible at prideagenda.org. Endorsement recommendations are based on responses to the Pride Agenda candidate questionnaire; an examination of a candidate’s voting record (for those who have previously held elective office) and the voting record of their opponent and

Local man medals in bowling at World Out Games in Antwerp By Susan Jordan From 31 July until 11 August, the third edition of the world Out Games took place in Antwerp, Belgium. This international sports event is organized by the LGBT community but is open for everyone, regardless of what their orientations are. Thomas Ophardt of Rochester told The Empty Closet, “I medaled in couples bowling, C division, both scratch and for handicap. My bowling partner was from Perth, Australia. So it’s not like I won for the best in the world, just our division. There are various divisions in all the sports, so it is possible for a ‘senior’ to win a medal even while competing with younger people. “117 countries were represented. The world is small… there were some bowlers who know Paul Scheib, Dave Emlen and Kathy Perry (and were asking about them). I knew two people from country dancing in San Francisco. “I was apprehensive about traveling to Europe by myself, but after the bowling competition, I socialized (read that: drank Belgian beer) with new friends from Australia, Germany and the Czech Republic. “Many attendees are already planning to attend the 2014 Gay Games in Cleveland.” More than 5,000 athletes from 100 countries took part in 32 disciplines in the Out Games. Beside the sports, the event included a culture festival with expos, theatres, parties and Antwerp Pride. Pro-gay crowds took the opportunity to rally against Russia’s antigay laws. Over 400 people staged a gay kiss-in in front of the Russian consulate in Antwerp, according to LGBTQ Nation. The event, entitled “To Russia With Love,” was timed to coincide with the end of the World Out Games (see Newsfronts). ■

a review of his or her public acts, statements, and consultations with other organizations throughout New York State, including local LGBT organizations. Non-incumbents are evaluated based upon the criteria above as well as the viability of their campaigns. Additional endorsements are anticipated later this year.

Six men attack gay couple in Chelsea NBC New York reports: Two gay men who were holding hands as they left a movie theater in Chelsea were attacked by a group of men who hurled anti-gay slurs, and one was hurt so badly he needed seven stitches on his face. Peter Nortman and his boyfriend, Michael Felenchak, had left the Chelsea Cinemas just after midnight early Aug. 14, when they were confronted by two men on West 24th Street, according to police. One said, “What are you looking at, you faggots.” The attackers then started punching the victims while hurling anti-gay slurs. Police say four more men approached, who were believed to be friends of the suspects, and joined in the assault.

NYC sees major rise in hate attacks By Christian Walters on towleroad.com The New York Daily News has a sobering story on the rise of gay-bashings in New York City. The attacks cover the gamut from simple verbal attacks to

murder, though the majority of the cases are assaults with six of them being felony-level, including the murder of Mark Carson by Elliot Morales. The NYPD is preparing to handle double the number of attacks compared to last year, though Sharon Stapel at the NYC Anti-Violence Project says it’s too soon to tell. Whether the attacks will double or not, the current 68 bias attacks are already well beyond last year’s total of 54. Openly lesbian City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, who is running for mayor, has taken great interest in the problem and said of the attacks, “They think they’re going to make the people and the community they don’t like go away, that they’re going to push us back into the closet. The way that the community and survivors of these attacks have stood up, that’s real bravery, and I think that has inspired others to stand up.” While the attacks are leaving some scared to walk down the street, there has been a galvanizing effect on the gay community, causing them to speak out and get the attention of the NYPD and City Council. This attention has helped foster a conversation in the city about the crimes, and one result has been for the council to sponsor free self defense classes in all five boroughs. ■

Help to grow the Gay Alliance! The Gay Alliance has an opening for a part time Development Coordinator. Please see the posting at www.GayAlliance.org

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

NewsFronts national and international

Bradley Manning reveals, “I am Chelsea Manning. I am female.” Bradley Manning wants to live the remainder of her life as a woman, according to a statement read by attorney David Coombs on Aug. 22, NBC’s Today reports: “I am Chelsea Manning. I am female,” the Army private wrote in a statement. “Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition.” “I also request that, starting today, you refer to me by my new name and use the feminine pronoun (except in official mail to the confinement facility),” she continued in the statement. “I look forward to receiving letters from supporters and having the opportunity to write back.” Manning signed the letter “Chelsea E. Manning.” TODAY continues: During his (sic) trial, Manning’s defense team suggested his struggles with gender identity as a gay soldier were a factor in his decision to leak. His attorneys presented an email to a former supervisor from April 2010 in which he said he was transgender and joined the Army to “get rid of it.” The email, which had the subject line “My Problem,” also included a photo of Manning in which he is wearing a blonde wig and lipstick. During Manning’s ninemonth detainment at the Marine Corps brig in Quantico, Va., following his arrest in 2010, he sent two letters to his counselor using the name “Breanna,’’ Master Sgt. Craig Blenis testified at his trial. The full statement: Subject: The Next Stage of My Life I want to thank everybody who has supported me over the last three years. Throughout this long ordeal, your letters of support and encouragement have helped keep me strong. I am forever indebted to those who wrote to me, made a donation to my defense fund, or came to

watch a portion of the trial. I would especially like to thank Courage to Resist and the Bradley Manning Support Network for their tireless efforts in raising awareness for my case and providing for my legal representation. As I transition into this next phase of my life, I want everyone to know the real me. I am Chelsea Manning. I am a female. Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition. I also request that, starting today, you refer to me by my new name and use the feminine pronoun (except in official mail to the confinement facility). I look forward to receiving letters from supporters and having the opportunity to write back. Thank you, Chelsea E. Manning In related news, Manning’s lawyer plans to ask President Obama to pardon her. Manning’s lawyer, David Coombs, said he would file a request early next week with the Department of the Army with the hope of making its way to the president, asking him either to pardon Manning or commute her sentence to time served. Chase Strangio, staff attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union’s Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project, stated, “In response to Chelsea Manning’s disclosure that she is female, has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and will be seeking hormone therapy as a part of her transition during her incarceration, public statements by military officials that the Army does not provide hormone therapy to treat gender dysphoria raise serious constitutional concerns. “Gender dysphoria is a serious medical condition in which a person’s gender identity does not correspond to his or her assigned sex at birth, and hormone therapy is part of the accepted standards of care for this condition. Without the necessary treatment, gender dysphoria can cause severe psychological distress, including anxiety and suicide. When the government holds individuals in its custody, it must provide them with medically necessary care. “The official policy of the Federal Bureau of Prisons and most state agencies is to provide medically necessary care for the treatment of gender dysphoria, and courts have consistently found that denying such care to prisoners based on blanket exclusions violates the Eighth Amendment of the Constitution.”

Students rally for gay teacher fired after 17 years for marrying From the Facebook page of NBC Los Angeles come the above photos of students rallying in support of former Catholic high school teacher Ken Bencomo, who was fired after 17 years when his same-sex wedding photo was featured in the local press. A petition that demands Bencomo’s reinstatement has gotten more than 49,000 signatures. One of the lead organizers of the event, Brittany Littleton, started the Change.org petition demanding that Bencomo be reinstated. “Today we’re gathering as current and former students of St. Lucy’s, with the support of more than 45,000 people around the country, demanding that one of the best teachers to ever work at St. Lucy’s be given his job back,” said Littleton. “We were taught at St. Lucy’s that everyone deserves a seat at the table, and that nobody should face discrimination over who they are. It is entirely un-Christian and against the very mission of St. Lucy’s to fire someone like Mr. Bencomo. Doing so not only hurts students, but tarnishes the reputation of a school so many of us are proud to have attended.” Littleton led a group of current and former students into St. Lucy’s to deliver the 45,000 petition signatures, as well as thousands of comments left on the petition by people who knew and supported Ken Bencomo. The students were not allowed into the school, but were able to leave the petition signatures and com-

ments with security personnel. Littleton said that the students and alumni of St. Lucy’s will continue their campaign to get Bencomo reinstated. “We’re not going to rest until Mr. Bencomo has his job back,” Littleton said. “He gave so much to us as a teacher. Now it’s time for his students to give back and make sure the whole country knows how great of a teacher he is, and how much he deserves to have his job back.” Live signature totals from Brittany Littleton’s campaign: https://www.change.org/petitions/stlucy-s-priory-high-school-give-ken-bencomo-his-job-back Reuters coverage of the campaign: http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/08/02/us-usa-teacher-catholicidUSBRE97106L20130802

Bayard Rustin to receive Medal of Freedom The White House on Aug. 8 announced that Bayard Rustin, the late civil and human rights advocate, will be posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the United States. An aide and confidant to Dr. Martin Luther King, Rustin was the main organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, an iconic moment in the history of our nation. Human Rights Campaign (HRC) President Chad Griffin wrote President Obama a letter earlier this year urging him to posthumously grant the medal to Rustin. “Bayard Rustin’s contributions to

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet the American civil rights movement remain paramount to its successes to this day,” said Griffin. “His role in the fight for civil rights of African-Americans is all the more admirable because he made it as a gay man, experiencing prejudice not just because of his race, but because of his sexual orientation as well.” The Presidential Medal of Freedom is an award bestowed by the President of the United States and is, along with the comparable Congressional Gold Medal bestowed by an act of U.S. Congress, the highest civilian award in the United States. It recognizes those individuals who have made “an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors”. The award is not limited to U.S. citizens and, while it is a civilian award, it can also be awarded to military personnel and worn on the uniform. It was established in 1963 and replaced the earlier Medal of Freedom that was established by President Harry S. Truman in 1945. Rustin was active in the struggle for civil rights for sixty years, from organizing early freedom rides in the 1940s, to serving as key advisor to Dr. King, to helping found the A. Philip Randolph Institute. But his advocacy was far from limited to the rights of African Americans. He worked to end apartheid in South Africa, fought for the freedom of Soviet Jews, worked to protect the property of Japanese Americans interned during World War II, and helped highlight the plight of Vietnamese “boat people.” And in the 1980s, he also spoke up for the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, testifying in support of antidiscrimination legislation in New York. “Bayard Rustin dedicated his life to advocating for fairness and equality and overcame prejudice to help move our nation forward,” added Griffin. The late astronaut Sally Ride, who was outed in her obituary, is also a recipient of the Medal of Freedom.

FMLA now protects same sex married couples equally The Wall Street Journal has confirmed that the U.S. Labor Department has issued guidance to inform employers, employees, and federal courts about an important change under the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court decision striking down the Defense of Marriage Act. According to the new guidance, the FMLA now protects gay and lesbian married couples. “Freedom to Work endorsed Tom Perez for Labor Secretary because we know him to be a champion for good jobs for everyone, so we are thrilled that the Labor Department has issued public guid-

ance that will let employers and federal courts know that gay and lesbian married couples must be treated with respect when they seek workplace leave to take care of a same-sex spouse that gets into an accident or is diagnosed with an illness,” explained Tico Almeida, president of Freedom to Work, a national organization dedicated to ending workplace discrimination. “Given the incredible passion and intellect that Secretary Perez brings to these important issues, we remain hopeful that he will continue to push to expand LGBT career opportunity and persuade the Obama White House to join the Labor Department in standing on the right side of history on LGBT workplace issues.” The Family & Medical Leave Act entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons. Prior to the ruling against DOMA, the Labor Department didn’t require employers to grant married gay couples leave if one spouse in the relationship fell ill and needed care, because DOMA prohibited federal recognition of same-sex marriage. But with DOMA out of the picture, the Obama administration is free to enforce FMLA on behalf of married same-sex couples. Gay and lesbian employees can also enforce their FMLA rights in federal court.

Pentagon to give equal benefits to gay spouses On Aug. 14, the Department of Defense announced its plan to extend benefits to same-sex spouses of uniformed service members and Department of Defense civilian employees. After a review of the department’s benefit policies following the Supreme Court’s ruling that Section Three of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is unconstitutional, and in consultation with the Department of Justice and other executive branch agencies, the Defense Department will make spousal and family benefits available no later than Sept. 3, 2013, regardless of sexual orientation, as long as service member-sponsors provide a valid marriage certificate. The Department of Defense remains committed to ensuring that all men and women who serve in the U.S. military, and their families, are treated fairly and equally as the law directs. Entitlements such as TRICARE enrollment, Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) and family separation allowance are retroactive to the date of the Supreme Court’s decision. Any claims to entitlements before that date will not be granted. For those members married after June 26, 2013, entitlements begin at the date of marriage. The Department recognizes that same-sex military couples who are not stationed in a jurisdiction that permits same-sex marriage would have to travel to another jurisdiction to marry. That is why the department will implement poli-

cies to allow military personnel in such a relationship non-chargeable leave for the purpose of travelling to a jurisdiction where such a marriage may occur. This will provide accelerated access to the full range of benefits offered to married military couples throughout the department, and help level the playing field between opposite-sex and same-sex couples seeking to be married. For civilian benefits administered government-wide to federal employees, the Department of Defense will follow the Office of Personnel Management and the Department of Labor’s guidance to ensure that the same benefits currently available to heterosexual spouses are also available to legally married same-sex spouses.

Ugandan lawsuit against antigay evangelical can proceed, court says By Sunnivie Brydum on The Advocate A federal judge ruled Aug. 14 that a first-of-its-kind persecution case against antigay American evangelist Scott Lively filed by LGBT Ugandans can proceed, according to the Center for Constitutional Rights, which helped Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) file the international lawsuit. Lively had filed a request to dismiss the suit, saying his antigay proselytizing was protected by his First Amendment rights to free speech. The ruling “is a significant victory for human rights everywhere but most especially for LGBTI Ugandans who are seeking accountability from those orchestrating our persecution,” said Frank Mugisha, executive director of SMUG. The suit seeks to hold Lively responsible for conspiring with religious and government leaders to persecute LGBT people in Uganda, where parliament is still considering the so-called Kill the Gays bill that proposes capital punishment of homosexuality in certain instances. During opening arguments in January, the New York-based Center for Constitutional Rights said Lively’s decade-long collaboration with political and religious leaders in Uganda deprived the nation’s LGBT people of basic human rights and should therefore be punishable under the Alien Tort Statute, which gives “survivors of egregious human rights abuses, wherever committed, the right to sue the perpetrators in the United States,” according to the Center for Justice and Accountability. Although federal judge Michael Ponsor initially expressed doubt that Lively’s actions constituted international human rights violations, statements the judge made in court Aug. 14 seemed to indicate a shift in tone. “Widespread, systematic persecution of LGBTI people constitutes a crime against humanity that unquestionably violates international norms,” said Ponsor, according to a press release from the Center for Constitutional Rights. “The histo-

5 ry and current existence of discrimination against LGBTI people is precisely what qualifies them as a distinct targeted group eligible for protection under international law. The fact that a group continues to be vulnerable to widespread, systematic persecution in some parts of the world simply cannot shield one who commits a crime against humanity from liability.” The center notes that Lively has a long history of traveling to international locales to peddle his antigay propaganda. In 2007, Lively toured 50 cities in Russia, proposing some of the strict antigay laws that were recently signed by president Vladimir Putin. LGBT activists heralded the judge’s decision, eager to see the antigay preacher made to testify about his hate speech under oath. “Activists like Scott Lively have increasingly started to confuse their religious freedom with a license to persecute LGBT people and criminalize homosexuality around the world,” said Wayne Besen, executive director of pro-LGBT group Truth Wins Out. “We hope that this case is the beginning of an ongoing effort to hold those who commit anti-LGBT crimes accountable for crimes against humanity. LGBT people should be safe and free from discrimination on every square inch of this planet, and no government has the right to punish and persecute gay people for who they are.”

California passes protections for trans public school students California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed a bill into law that ensures the state’s public schools will take responsibility for the wellbeing of all students, including the transgender student population. GLAAD National Spokesperson Wilson Cruz said, “Well done California for passing a law that protects transgender students from discrimination in their own schools and affirms their identities. This is another step to ensuring that transgender students have the same opportunities at learning and school involvement as all other students.”

Iowa investigates hate group NOM for refusal to disclose donors The Iowa Ethics and Campaign Disclosure Board voted Aug. 8 to investigate the National Organization for Marriage, the virulently anti-gay hate group, for refusing to disclose the names of donors who funded its efforts to oust Iowa Supreme Court justices during the 2010 and 2012 elections. Marc Solomon, national campaign director of Freedom to Marry, released the following statement: “For years, NOM has taken huge contributions from a few anti-gay donors in exchange for shielding their names from (NOM continued page 13)

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national and international (NOM continues from page 5) campaign finance authorities, whether or not that required flouting the law. Those days are quickly coming to an end. NOM’s desperate appeals to the US Supreme Court have been rejected, and soon the public will see who bankrolls NOM’s anti-gay campaigns, which — according to NOM internal documents — include a goal ‘to drive a wedge between gays and blacks.’” This investigation was spurred by a complaint by Fred Karger’s Equal Rights in June arguing that NOM’s filings never revealed the donors behind its contributions of more than $600,000 in 2010 and its in-kind donations to help oust justices who had voted for gay rights in 2012. In Maine, where Karger filed a similar complaint against NOM in 2009, the state’s highest court ruled in May that it must reveal the names of donors to its 2009 efforts to block the freedom to marry in Maine. Twice in 2012, the US Supreme Court rejected NOM’s requests to hear challenges to the Maine public disclosure law.

No arrests or violence at Uganda’s second Pride By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com LGBTs in Uganda have again marched openly in what is the country’s second only pride event. On Aug. 3 over 100 people marched along a beach and through a botanical garden in the city of Entebbe, but police stayed away despite organizers giving them advance notice about the event. Things did not go so smoothly last year when a pride event was broken up by police, with several activists being detained before being released without charge. Activist Kelly Mukwano told the Voice of America that the Ugandan LGBT community had been given a new sense of confidence with the success of the event. “That success gave us confidence that we can do it,” Mukwano said, “We are getting more confident as time goes by.” Some marchers thought it would not be long before they could march openly in the nation’s capital. “It’s baby steps,” one marcher said, “Today, we are here, miles away from Kampala … Soon we shall be on Kampala Road.” Uganda’s state owned New Vision news agency is yet to react to the Pride event in Entebbe. Ugandan MPs have been seeking to pass legislation that would see the death penalty for gay sex for repeat offenders and people with HIV but have called for a secret ballot to prevent them from being subjected to overseas travel bans. See more at: http://www.gay-

starnews.com/article/uganda-holds2nd-annual-lgbt-pride-march-withoutarrests050813#sthash.tsddLDcE.dpuf

Gay Russian TV star comes out on air, is fired Anton Krasovsky, a well-known Russian TV personality, was fired earlier in the year after he came out publicly on live television, according to Queerty: “I’m gay, and I’m just the same person as you, my dear audience, as President Putin, as Prime Minister Medvedev and the deputies of our Duma,” Krasovsky, 37, said in January on the Kremlin-backed television and internet network he helped launch, KontrTV. Though his admission was followed by a “storm of applause” by the audience and the show’s staff, Krasovsky was fired the very same night. By the next day, his presence had been completely erased from the network’s website; all of his corporate accounts and his email were blocked. Krasovsky was surprised because “it takes them half a day to put up a banner when I ask them to, and here we had such efficiency.” “Any footage of his coming out has also completely disappeared from the internet, which is a feat in this day and age, but we guess the moral here is never to underestimate the Kremlin,” Queerty said. Appearing on CNN, Krasovsky was recently asked why he came out in such a public and potentially dangerous fashion, to which he replied: “Because somebody should do it. I decided it was time to be open. It was time to be open, for me.”

Russian TV official says dead gays’ hearts should be burned; blames the victims for violence Deputy General Director of the Russian State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company Dmitri Kiselyov recently dehumanized gays on a popular, government-run television news program broadcast by the state-owned network Rossiya 1. His translated comments state, “I think that just imposing fines on gays for homosexual propaganda among teenagers is not enough. They should be banned from donating blood, sperm. And their hearts, in case of the automobile accident, should be buried in the ground or burned as unsuitable for the continuation of life.” The audience applauded after Kiselyov’s comments. The New Civil Rights Movement adds that Vesti — the show where Kiselyov delivered his comments — is “Rossiya is top news show — which airs all across Russia every two hours,” and that Kiselyov has served as Deputy General Director of state broadcasting since 2008. Regarding Rossiya 1, the BBC notes: “Russian TV is dominated by channels that are either run directly by the state or owned by companies with close links

U.S. consul in Amsterdam issues first visa for gay spouse of American citizen On Aug. 2, Secretary of State John Kerry announced the immediate availability of visas for the spouses for gay Americans. Two days later the first such document was issued in the Netherlands. From the Facebook page of the US Consulate General, Amsterdam: “Mr. Francois Conradie is moving to New York, and visited the U.S. Consulate General in Amsterdam for his L2 visa interview on Friday. Today, he was surprised by Consul General Berry, who presented him with the printed visa placed in his passport. This is the first derivative visa we have had the privilege of issuing to the same-sex spouse of a visa applicant in Amsterdam since the U.S. Supreme Court’s repeal of DOMA. Have a great trip Mr. Conradie!” ■

to the Kremlin. The government controls Channel One and Russia One -- two of the three main federal channels… TV is the main news source for most Russians… Russia is a regular target for criticism and condemnation from media freedom watchdogs.” Kiselyov later blamed the victims for the violence. ““Our [Russian] problem with homosexuals is that they behave in a provocative, victim-like way. They deliberately provoke situations, so that they become victims. Nobody prevents them from loving each other the way they want to. They are aggressively foisting minority’s values on the majority. It is likely that society would counteract this. Naturally, right? In various ways, including brutal ones. Since they are brutally foisting this [on others]. Wanna fight? Get it, then. So what?” - Russian state television host Dmitriy Kiselyov, when asked during a radio interview if he was aware of the murders of Russian gays. (Via Pink News)

N.J. bans conversion therapy for minors; Christie signs bill Republican Governor and potential 2016 presidential hopeful Chris Christie signed the new bill into law on Aug. 19; New Jersey becomes the second state in the country to ban conversion therapy for minors. The measure was previously passed by the state’s congress in July, and until recently, it was unclear as to whether

Christie would endorse it and sign it into law. Christie has, however, previously expressed his opposition to the practice, and even stated in a CNN interview that he does not believe homosexuality to be a sin, despite his Catholic background. He opposes marriage equality. Christie’s upcoming statement highlights his evidence-based approach to the bill: “The American Psychological Association has found that efforts to change sexual orientations can pose critical health risks including, but not limited to, depression, substance abuse, social withdrawal, decreased self-esteem and suicidal thoughts. I believe that exposing children to these health risks without clear evidence of benefits that outweigh these serious risks is not appropriate.” Christie’s statement will also recognize “government limiting parental choice on the care and treatment of their own children,” no doubt an appeal to his conservative supporters, as well as an anticipation of backlash that has arisen in response to the new bill. Similar legal challenges have already arisen in California, the first state to ban conversion therapy for minors. Political analysts are already viewing Christie’s decision to sign the bill “through the prism of the 2016 race for the White House.” “Christie, a centrist Republican, is considered a leading candidate for his party’s presidential nomination,” reported CNN. “While today’s statement will almost certainly draw ire from social

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet conservatives, analysts are still waiting to see how this compromise on social issues might help him gather support from voters toward the middle of the spectrum. “Gay conversion therapy is the latest high-profile legislation that Christie has addressed in recent days, the others dealing with medical marijuana and his veto of a bill that would ban certain guns. Christie is seeking re-election in November and public polling shows that he should easily win a second term.”

Homecoming sailor proposes at the dock A Navy sailor returning from a sixmonth deployment emerged from his submarine, dropped to one knee and proposed to his boyfriend during the homecoming celebration in Connecticut for USS New Mexico. About 200 people were gathered at the dock of the Naval Submarine Base New London where Machinist’s Mate Jerrel Revels proposed to Dylan Kirchner. Kirchner said he had thought about getting married but the proposal on Aug. 12 came as a surprise. “I didn’t really care everybody was around. It felt just like the two of us,” Kirchner told The Day of New London. -USA Today

Russian thugs post bashing ambush videos Anti-LGBT vigilantes have taken to the web attempting to lure unsuspecting victims into meeting a potential partner at a particular time and place, only to surprise and ambush them as soon as they show up. These vigilantes then record the violent ambushes before posting them on the web, often outing victims to their family and friends. The latest video is simply one of the latest to pop up on the Russian social media site VK.com. In it, five men ambush and brutalize a trans woman in a public park. Since the video begins with the physical attack, it is not immediately apparent if the traditional pre-ambush (Russian continues page 11)

Interview Ally Howell, author of “Transgender Persons and the Law” By Susan Jordan “In effect, gender is a language,” writes Ally Howell in her new book, “Transgender Persons and the Law” (American Bar Association, 2013), which is available at the Gay Alliance Library. Howell, a transgender attorney who formerly lived in Rochester, points out that gender is a system of symbols and meanings, such as masculine, feminine, strength, weakness, etc. Traditional culture and most legal jurisdictions regard sex (that is, gender, not sexuality) as fixed at birth. We are our genitalia and nothing more. In reality, one in 100 births is a person whose body is different in some way from the standard binary male/female. “Gender variance is not new,” Howell writes. She spoke recently with The Empty Closet about her book and the importance of educating the cisgendered majority about the myths and realities of human gender identity. Empty Closet: Our society believes that there are only two gender options for human beings – John Wayne or Marilyn Monroe. Anyone who doesn’t fit those stereotypes is labeled a “freak” or worse – we are our genitalia. Yet gender variance is actually pretty common. How can society’s outdated views be changed, especially when the issue is being exploited by conservatives for political ends? Ally Howell: Education is the only way to change things. When I was living in the Rochester area, the transgender group alone, and later as part of the GAGV’s Speakers Bureau, presented programs to the Crisis Helpline staff, college classes, community and church groups, etc. We even presented programs to employers and their employees who had a transgender employee who was transitioning. A group that I co-founded in Alabama before moving to the Rochester area even presented a two hour professional education program to the Alabama Psychological Association and to county and state correctional administrators and staffers. EC: The law is now beginning to recognize that human gender identity is a lot more complex than once believed. How has this change come about? AH: Education is the way this has happened. Education like what I just described, plus a number of hard working lawyers who have presented a lot of expert testimony in various court cases involving transgender persons – such as divorces, child custody cases, employment disputes, public housing and public facilities cases,

who advise and represent businesses and governmental agencies which deal with transgender persons, and to people who are interested in learning more about transgender persons and the issues they face. The book will be updated annually. In fact, I have already collected materials since the manuscript was submitted for publication for the annual supplement for 2014. Thank you Susan for this opportunity to speak with you. EC: Thank you! ■ Ally Howell

and even cases involving transgender prisoners. EC: You write that trans women quickly learn that in our culture, “women are valued less than men.” Have you personally experienced sexism since your transition? AH: Yes, I have. And, in counseling other male-to-female transgender folks, a few have decided not to transition and to stay in the closet because they did not think they could give up the male prerogatives that society affords. Of course, the sexism is nice in other ways like getting doors opened for you. And I even had a man change my flat tire for me once. EC: The Hon. Phyllis Randolph Frye, the first out of the closet trans U.S. judge, and “grandmother of the national transgender legal and political movement,” wrote the foreword to your book. Do you know her personally? AH: Yes, Phyllis is a good friend. I even dedicated the book to her. She was the first transgender lawyer that I ever met. She recruited me to serve on the Board of the National Gay and Lesbian Law Association, which also serves and advocates for transgender folks. The National Gay and Lesbian Law Association is now called the National LGBT Bar Association. I even served a term as vice co-chair of that group. EC: You list many, many transgender resources for everything from family law to personal safety. How long did it take you to compile the book? AH: It took the better part of a year to write it working on it part time. It was a work of love. I even assigned my royalties to the American Bar Association’s Commission on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity’s advocacy on behalf of transgender persons. EC: Is there anything you would like to add? AH: I hope the book will be used by and useful to attorneys who advise and represent transgender persons, attorneys

Jason Klaum, Stylist 585.732.7676 90 Canal Street, Suite 308 Rochester 14608

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SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Making the Scene

VIVA PUERTO RICO: The Gay Alliance had a float in the Puerto Rican Day Parade on Aug. 3. Photo: Bess Watts

Gemini Stone at the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Photo: Wanda Martinez

Victory Alliance staff at WNY Black Gay Pride.

WNY BLACK GAY PRIDE: Bruce Smail and Barb Turner of The Mocha Center at the grill at the WNY Black Gay Pride Picnic on Aug. 11 in Genesee Valley Park. Events took place in Rochester and Buffalo between Aug. 3-11.

Thomas Warfield, MOCHA board member Bev Jackson, Barb Turner and Kathy Hart.

My Own Private Rochester: Barbara Turner By Susan Jordan Barbara Turner is Prevention Programs and Services Manager at the MOCHA Center. A native-born Rochesterian, her father was one of the first African American Rochester police officers. Her grandmother, who was a member of the National Negro Business and Professional Women’s Club, was one of the first black legal secretaries at Kodak, and one of Barbara’s greatest inspirations. She passed away seven years ago, but had always predicted that Kodak would encounter the very troubles it has since experienced – another example of secretaries knowing more than executives! Her other inspiration is the late James McCuller of Action for a Better Community. Barbara said, “He started my first job when I was 14 and inspired me. Every Friday afternoon we met in the auditorium and he would lecture us about altruism, giving back and education. As an adult I reflect on what that actually means, and how this man would come and spend time with a bunch of teenagers.” Barbara’s favorite places include Genesee Valley Park, where she bikes or walks daily along the trail. “I grew up across from the park on Elmwood. My house now is within walking distance of the park, That’s one of the big reasons I bought the house! Also, I’m proud of the

Chris Wilson of The MOCHA Center at the cookout on Aug. 11.

improvements made to the area – housing, shops and restaurants.” One of her favorite restaurants is California Rolling in the park neighborhood. “I also love Cobbs Hill,” she said, “especially the Washington Grove preservation project – ‘a forest within the city.’ It’s a city-owned area near the reservoir and a coalition of neighbors manages it.” Barbara’s other favorite restaurants are Tapas 177 on St. Paul, the French Quarter on Goodman, Revelry on University Ave. and Cure at the Public Market. “The Market is one of my favorite places,” she said. “I usually go there on Saturday mornings, or Thursdays.” She likes the “low country” food at Revelry, which specializes in the cuisine of the South Carolina/Georgia coast. Barbara’s favorite local events include the Jazz Festival – any jazz festival, actually – and the Clarissa Street Festival. Of the latter, she says, “It’s so great to see four or five generations of families together, all kissing and hugging and happy to be together. “I also love Canandaigua Lake,” she adds. “My favorite thing to do is sit outside and listen to jazz. I usually go to the Canandaigua Arts Festival and the Riesling Festival. I love discovering wineries, although I don’t drink. But they have music festivals, like Brothers Winery in Geneva, which has live music all the time. They have something called Bagg Dare – it’s the weirdest thing but so cool. You walk down a winding road into the woods

Barb Turner at the Public Market. Photo: Susan Jordan

and there’s a little house there with a pond – just like the juke joint in ‘The Color Purple.’ They have a variety of music.” For a special Saturday treat, Barbara likes to go to Ithaca for waterfall-viewing, dinner and shopping along the Commons. Her hobbies are gardening and working on her house; as with all older homes, there is always something to fix. “I have done a lot of landscaping,” she said, “and working on the patio. I tiled my bath-

room. I’m usually working on some project. I had a contractor in the beginning and learned from him – like sanding floors. When I worked at Unity I would borrow tools and learned a lot from the maintenance engineer. I had a furniture refinishing class for a group of mentally ill alcoholics and drug addicts. I taught them how to re-finish furniture and that gave them something to do besides drink. One member of the group would get each particular piece of furniture.” ■

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national and international (Russian from page 6) verbal confrontation and interrogation took place. Nevertheless, the end result is a chilling attack that is among the most violent to find its way to the web. The video does not appear to be directly affiliated with the “Occupy” extremist movement perpetuated by infamous Russian ultra-nationalist and former skin head, Maxim Martsinkevich, AKA “Cleaver”. Instead, the video appears to be affiliated with a site called OnlyFighting. ru, which hosts videos of amateur “street fights” from around the globe. John Aravosis of AmericaBlog attempted to upload a copy of the video to YouTube. Its ultraviolent content promptly got it removed from the site. Aravosis also reports, “The Russian government refused to investigate these crimes, even with videos clearly showing the hometowns and faces of the perpetrators. Only a week or two ago, when the international press picked up on this story, did the Russian authorities claim they would investigate. No word on anything they’ve done to solve and stop these crimes.”

Same sex weddings begin in New Zealand Aug. 19 marked the day that marriage equality became the law of the land in New Zealand. Natasha Vitali and Melissa Ray won their ceremony as part of an all-expensespaid giveaway on a local radio station, and were the first same-sex couple to be married in the country. Their ceremony took place at 9 a.m. local time in Auckland, New Zealand’s largest city. Lynley Bendall and Ally Wanikau were also among the estimated 31 same-sex couples

(according to the Washington Blade) who tied the knot that day. They held their ceremony while on an Air New Zealand flight from Queenstown to Auckland, and had Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Fergueson and husband Justin Mikita among the many witnesses in attendance. The newly-adopted marriage equality law came to New Zealand thanks to lesbian Parliamentarian Louisa Wall, who was one of the many in attendance during Vitali and Ray’s ceremony in Auckland. She expressed her pride in a statement to the Washinton Blade: “I feel very proud to have had my marriage equality bill pass through the New Zealand parliamentary process with support from across the House. Today we can celebrate the reality of our law change which allows any two people who love each other, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation or gender identity to commit to one another in the institution of marriage.” Paul McCarthy and Trent Kandler were also among those who got married Aug. 19. They also have the distinction of being the first Australian same-sex couple to be married under New Zealand’s new law. The Herald Sun predicts that the two men are the first of what will be a “flood” of same-sex Australian couples “expected to travel across the Tasman to exchange vows.” Unfortunately, their nuptials won’t be recognized in their home nation,

so their gesture is more of a symbolic one. However, the two men hope that their symbolic gesture will lead to real change. “Talk to your local candidates, find out what their view is, because this is a chance we have this year to make a difference,” McCarthy said. “We’re normal people, we live in this society... it would be very good if people thought we could be treated equally.” New Zealand is now the 14th nation in the world to legalize marriage equality. Next in line will likely be England and Wales, which recently approved a bill that is anticipated to take effect this upcoming spring.

LGBT groups join in 50th anniversary of March on Washington A coalition of national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights organizations, led by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, has issued the following open letter: An Open Letter in Support of 50th Anniversary of March on Washington Over the past year, our community has celebrated tremendous wins in the fight for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality and justice. We have collectively cheered the first ever Senate committee markup of an inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), the Social Security Administration’s modernization of its gender marker policy, and U.S. Supreme Court wins on marriage equality in the Windsor and Perry rulings. But we remain frustrated that ENDA is still not the law of the land and we’re angered and deeply disappointed with the Court’s decision to turn back critical parts of the historic Voting Rights Act in Shelby. We must channel this frustration and disappointment into action to tack-

11 le employment discrimination, voter suppression tactics, immigration reform and racial profiling, to name only a few. This month we have an opportunity to bring the combined energy from our victories to a major gathering that will commemorate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington for Jobs & Freedom. History was made that day 50 years ago when thousands came to Washington, D.C. to lift up their voices in support of civil rights, employment protection and an end to racial segregation in our nation’s schools. On August 24, 2013, we will rededicate ourselves to that dream of equality and justice. It has been over 40 years since Stonewall and the birth of the modern LGBTQ rights movement. As national, state and local LGBTQ organizations, we know that while there have been many advancements over the last four decades since Stonewall and the five decades since the 1963 March, there is still much more work to be done. We are proud to commemorate the 1963 March and, once again, come together and collectively take action to “Realize the Dream.” At a time when the nation still does not have clear federal laws barring discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, we still need to step up and be visible. We believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to find and keep a job in a safe work environment with a living wage regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. We also believe that all members of our community, whether they are seniors, middle-aged or youth, deserve to be safe from violence, harassment, exploitation and racial profiling when they are at home, school, work, or in any other public places. As LGBTQ people, we believe that quality health care should be accessible, affordable and culturally competent. We believe that the (March continues page 17)

✔ Vote

in the Democratic Primary, Tuesday, September 10

“I have a strong commitment to fairness, justice and equality for the LGBT community rooted in my family’s tradition of service and giving. I have witnessed the cruel consequence of prejudice steeped in ignorance and bias. Throughout my life, and now as Mayor, I have been steadfast in my support. My commitment to continue to fight for equal treatment for Rochester’s LGBT community will never waver.” This ad is paid for by Tom Richards for Mayor. Mayor Tom Richards RichardsforMayor.com

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Candidates to Watch

Carolee Conklin Rochester City Council At-Large

Matt Haag City Councilman At-Large

Thomas Richards Rochester Mayor

By Ove Overmyer Democrat Carolee Conklin probably knows the hallowed halls and corridors of 30 Church Street as well as any other Rochesterian working today. She has been affiliated with Rochester’s city government since 1974, serving previously as Deputy City Treasurer, Deputy City Clerk, and City Clerk before running for an at-large seat on City Council in 2005. Conklin was re-elected in 2009. In an interview with The Empty Closet, Conklin said, “I am proud of the work I have done, and I am asking for our community’s support for another term. I have used my work and nonprofit board experience to ask the tough questions, expect accountability, and play major leadership role on the Council.” Conklin says the early years of her life had a lasting impact on how she views the world today. “My views on equality and social justice issues were formed very early. At the age of 13, my 11-year-old sister and I took a train from Buffalo to Washington, D.C. to spend the summer with my Dad. He was stationed at Fort Belvoir, Va. In June 1952, we arrived at Union Station and the first thing we saw was drinking fountains that said ‘White Only’ or ‘Colored Only’. Those signs applied to almost every facet of life in our nation’s capitol at the time. It was my first overt exposure to inequality. It’s something I will always remember.” Conklin also recalls the McCarthy Era and the blacklisting, along with newsreels of dogs and fire hoses being turned on civil rights marchers, as memories that are still fresh in her mind. She added, “To sum things up, I am for civil rights for everyone -- minorities, women, GLBT folks, aged population and on and on.” As City Clerk in 2004, Carolee personally mentored marriage equality activists Anne Tischer and Bess Watts through the maze of paperwork that became publicly known as the first local attempt by a same sex couple to apply for a marriage license in the City of Rochester. During her first term on City Council, Conklin chaired both of Council’s major committees, Community Development and Finance. As the Community Development Chair, she led Council’s review of the Community Development program, which has allowed millions of dollars to be spent rebuilding our city. As the Finance Committee Chair, Councilmember Conklin oversees Council’s review of the Mayor’s proposed annual budget to ensure that the spending plan makes sense and protects city taxpayers. She also redesigned Council’s review of the proposed budget to create a fuller discussion of the budget details, and permitted more time for Council’s concerns to be addressed. Her Finance Chair responsibilities also include the review of the annual Capital Improvement Plan, to ensure that the millions of dollars spent repairing our streets, bridges, water supply system and other key city programs are spent wisely. “There have been times over the years where I was the only person who voted nay on an issue,” says Conklin. She added, “There have been times when I have led a majority of Council to bring about important changes in policy. Through it all, I am proud of the no-nonsense positions I have taken. With the voters’ help, I will continue to promote democratic principles in city government.” Conklin lives in the Corn Hill neighborhood of the city. When she isn’t working with city officials, or colleagues or on constituent issues, you can usually find Carolee attending to her multi-generational, close-knit extended family. ■

By Ove Overmyer Just recently you may have learned that the City of Rochester has implemented policy changes to make our city a more welcoming place for LGBT individuals to live, work, and raise a family. That is in large part due to the work of City Councilman Matt Haag, who was first elected to City Council in 2009. Haag says he has tirelessly worked on his constituents’ behalf, partnering with Mayor Richards to keep issues of economic development, public safety and equality in the forefront. Haag is running for re-election this year to an AtLarge seat on Rochester City Council. He tells the Empty Closet that he has worked very hard over the past four years to bring a fresh perspective and a focus on community engagement to government. He also says that we have been able to accomplish “quite a lot.” At Rochester Pride’s Flag Raising ceremony this past summer, Mayor Richards and Councilman Haag announced two steps that will improve the quality of life in Rochester. First, the city has added “gender identity and gender expression” to its list of protected classes. Rochester has long been a leader in civil rights and Haag says this was an important step to make our practice our policy. Haag told the EC, “This isn’t the first time I’ve worked to obtain protection rights for individuals based on gender identity and expression. When I first took office in 2009, I worked with the Rochester Housing Authority to add gender identity expression as a protected class so that no one could lose their housing because of how they identify.” The second important announcement on July 19 was the appointment of Molly Clifford, friend and ally, as the newly created LGBT liaison to the Mayor’s Office. The goal of this position is to create a platform to keep the discussion concerning LGBT rights as a main focus of municipal public policy. Haag says as we move forward, this position can and will evolve with input from LGBT community stakeholders. He said, “I am committed to equality and will keep working to ensure we make progress on these very important issues.” Molly Clifford will be interviewed in the October EC. Haag is also currently involved in discussions to include all LGBT families in city policy for family, sick, and medical leave. Haag states that we must ensure that all people are given the same rights to be with their families when they need them most. He also states that he and city officials are working to ensure that transgender employees have access to the health care they need. Councilman Haag says he is also laser-focused on starting discussions about creating a City Contractor Equal Benefits Ordinance, which would require anyone who contracts with the City of Rochester to offer equal benefits to all of their employees regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. When asked what he wants to tell the readers of the EC, he replied, “Each day, I work with community leaders, neighborhood groups and friends in labor and the business sector to help move our city forward. My support from the Democratic, Working Families, and Independence parties, Rochester Labor Council, AFL-CIO, 1199 SEIU, Rochester Regional Joint Board Workers United, BENTE Local 2419, Rochester Police Locust Club, United Auto Workers UAW 1097, Empire State Pride Agenda, and the Victory Fund testify to my commitment to working with anyone willing to make our city a better place. With your support, I’d be honored to serve another term to continue this very important work.” ■

By Ove Overmyer When you meet Mayor Tom Richards for the first time, usually the initial thing he will mention about himself is that he is a lifelong resident of Rochester, where he still lives in the Browncroft neighborhood with his wife Betty. They have two adult sons, three grandchildren and another one on the way. Tom’s father was a minister who ran a homeless shelter downtown on Andrews Street at the corner of Front Street, which was then known as Rochester’s skid row. Tom’s father took him there often as a boy so he could appreciate the misfortune experienced by some people and learn to treat them with respect and compassion. This was just one of many life lessons that Mayor Richards fondly recalls about his childhood growing up in Rochester. After college, Mayor Richards served in the Navy for almost four years, including a year as Officer in Charge on a Swift Boat in Vietnam. After his service, he completed law school and served 20 years as a trial attorney. He was the managing partner of the law firm Nixon, Nixon, Hargrave, Devans & Doyle (now Nixon Peabody) before joining the Rochester Gas and Electric Corporation in 1991 as its general counsel. He went on to become the president and chief operating officer of RG&E and then chairman, president and chief executive officer of RGS Energy Group, the parent company of RG&E. After a brief retirement, Richards returned to work, serving more than four years as the City of Rochester’s Corporation Counsel and two months as Deputy Mayor. Following the special election in April 2011, he was sworn in as Rochester’s Mayor. Early on in his first term, Mayor Richards said that he would seek to recognize that our common interest and our common good demand serious progress, not only in physically rebuilding our city neigborhoods for the future, but in preparing our young people for that future. Mayor Richards told the EC, “I said that the City I envision in the future is not just revitalized and successful, but broadly participated in. As big as Rochester’s challenges are today, I believe those challenges exist within a vision for our City and broader community that is full of promise and opportunity. I have always felt that way about Rochester and I still do.” He says his vision is to have better schools, safer neighborhoods, ample job opportunities and a vibrant downtown. He says he is making sure that City Hall is working every day to make Rochester better for all of its citizens. And when it comes to the issues of equality and justice, some activists have called Mayor Richards “one of the best guys we could have possibly hoped for.” Richards told the EC, “Rochester has a well-deserved reputation as being one of our nation’s most progressive cities. In that tradition, we have worked to ensure that City Government is doing everything it can to provide for the equal protection of all Rochesterians, regardless of their race, sexual orientation or gender identity and expression.” He added, “I am particularly proud to receive ESPA’s endorsement, and thank the LGBT community for their partnership and friendship. As long as I am Mayor, they will continue to have a steadfast advocate in City Hall.” When asked what he wanted EC readers to know about him, he concluded, “There is no denying we’ve made substantial progress. There is also no denying that we’ve got a long way to go. I have a clear recognition of our challenges and a steely commitment to ensure that everyone shares in progress. We can and we will guide the transformation of our city for the good. I ask you to join me and I humbly ask for your support on Primary Day, Tuesday, September 10.” ■

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Health Care News HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index rates local providers By Susan Jordan The Human Rights Campaign, a national LGBT rights organization based in Washington D.C., has provided its Healthcare Equality Index (HEI) since 2007, as a tool to survey American healthcare facilities and their policies toward LGBT patients. The 2013 report includes 718 national healthcare facilities. The Rochester-area organizations singled out for good policies and treatment for LGBT patients are Trillium Health, the University of Rochester’s Strong Memorial Hospital and the VA Canandaigua Medical Center. The Index asked each facility 44 questions about best practices in LGBT patient-centered care. The core four leader criteria are patient non-discrimination policies, equal visitation policies, employment non-discrimination policies and training in LGBT patient-centered care. Trillium Health Trillium Health, formerly known as AIDS Care, announced that it is proud that it has been recognized for the third year in a row as a “Leader in LGBT Healthcare Equality”. Trillium Health earned top marks for its commitment to equitable, inclusive care for LGBT patients and their families, who can face significant challenges in securing adequate healthcare. Trillium Health was one of a select group of 464 healthcare facilities nationwide to be named Leaders in LGBT Healthcare Equality. Facilities awarded this title meet key criteria for equitable care, including non-discrimination policies for LGBT patients and employees, a guarantee of equal visitation for same-sex partners and parents, and LGBT health education for key staff members. Jay Rudman, president and chief executive officer of Trillium Health, says, “We are proud to be recognized for the third consecutive year as a leader in LGBT healthcare equality, particularly since we have recently renamed our organization and expanded our services to offer medical care not only to HIV positive patients, but also to HIV negative LGBT patients.” In addition, Trillium Health’s LGBT Health Initiatives program presents health and wellness education to consumers, as well as cultural and clinical competence training to providers throughout Greater Rochester and the Finger Lakes region. The program also includes a website, www.everybodysgood.com, where the LGBT community can access comprehensive and inclusive information. University of Rochester The University of Rochester Medical

Center is receiving national recognition for its commitment to equal care for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender patients and their families. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation named Strong Memorial Hospital a 2013 Leader in Healthcare Equality. “LGBT patients deeply appreciate the welcoming environment provided by Strong,” says HRC Health & Aging Director Shane Snowdon. “It makes a big difference to know you are getting the same care your neighbors and co-workers receive.” URMC meets or exceeds four key criteria set by the foundation. The criteria include adoption of an explicit patient non-discrimination policy, equal visitation rights, and clearly specified equal opportunity employment practices. In addition, URMC provided senior managers with training in LGBT patientcentered care. “We know the best way to provide health care is to honor the values, beliefs, and backgrounds of our patients. This designation reinforces our exceptional commitment to those ideals,” says Kathy Parrinello, R.N., Ph.D., chief operating officer and executive vice president of the hospital. “The overarching goal is dignity in health care,” says John Cullen, Ph.D., research associate professor of Surgery and chair of the Pride Alliance at the University of Rochester. VA Canandaigua Medical Center After the repeal in 2011 of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” the U.S. Veterans Health Administration created a work group, which recommended among other things that the 152 VA medical centers around the country be encouraged to participate in the HEI. After outreach, 120 centers voluntarily took part. The HEI 2013 singles out the Canandaigua Medical Center for its quality program. Kathy Cosgrove of VA Canandaigua Medical Center said, “The Canandaigua VAMC is extremely pleased to have been recognized by the Health Care Equality Index. Excellent care has no boundaries and the Canandaigua VAMC is proud to serve all who served.”

Affordable Care Act benefits LGBT Americans in many ways President Obama’s Affordable Care Act gives LGBT citizens more control over their lives, primarily by establishing lower costs. The Act provides lower costs by expanding the Medicaid program, which helps lower-income Americans living with HIV/AIDS. It eliminates all lifetime limits on coverage if beneficiaries get sick and bans companies from dropping beneficiaries who become sick.

It provides tax credits to small businesses so they can offer affordable healthcare to employees and gives a $250 rebate to Medicare beneficiaries who hit the doughnut hole in 2010, and by 2020 will completely close the hole for all prescription drugs. It supports states in requiring health insurance companies to submit justifications for requested premium increases, and those companies which have excessive or unjustified premium increases may not be able to participate in the new Health Benefit Exchanges. It cracks down on excessive overhead by applying standards to insurance company spending on such things as bureaucracy, executive salaries and marketing, and provides consumers with rebates where non-medical costs are too high. And finally it provides tax credits for those who cannot afford quality health insurance. The ACA also supports early retiree health coverage by providing $5 billion in financial assistance to employer health plans that cover early retirees, thus making it easier for employers to provide coverage and providing up to $1,200 in premium relief for every family with insurance through those employers. It will help to improve the percentage of large companies providing retirement coverage, which dropped from 66 percent in 1988 to 31 percent in 2008. LGBT Americans will have more choices through the ACA also because it ends insurance company discrimination against children with pre-existing conditions and in future will prevent companies from denying coverage because of pre existing conditions, or charging more because of health status or gender.

Health Benefit Exchanges The state-based Health Benefit Exchanges will provide LGBT citizens with the same private insurance choices that the President and members of Congress have, including multi-state plans to foster competition and increase consumer choice. The Exchanges also ensure that LGBT Americans have guaranteed choices of quality, affordable insurance if they lose their jobs, switch jobs, move or become sick. The information is provided through a one-stopshopping approach that allows people to easily compare prices, benefits and performances of different plans. The ACA also requires new plans to cover prevention and wellness benefits at no charge and ensures basic health service and prevention coverage, including maternity benefits exempting those benefits from deductibles and eliminates co-pays for preventive services. The new Exchanges will help create a system that encourages innovation in health care before patients require more costly treatment, It increases the number of primary care practitioners and moves to research and eliminate the disparities that many Americans currently experience in accessing healthcare, expanding initiatives to increase the diversity of healthcare professionals and strengthen cultural competency training for health care providers – which will definitely impact care for LGBT patients. For more information on the New York Health Benefit Exchange, contact Community Health Advocates at 888-614-5400 or cha@cssny.org. The new web portal, www. HealthCare.gov, helps individuals and small businesses find health insurance coverage. Further information on health care reform is available at whitehouser.gov; healthreform.gov and energycommerce. house.gov. ■

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Opinion Killer Goes Free: Open Season On Transwomen? By Mallory J. Livingston On November 14, 2008, 22-year-old LaTeisha Green and her brother Mark drove to a friend’s house where a neighborhood party was taking place on Seymour Street in Syracuse. Mark was driving and Teish was in the front seat passenger seat. Teish was shot at close range by an assailant shouting homophobic slurs in front of numerous witnesses. The killer was convicted of manslaughter in the first degree as a hate crime, the first hate crime conviction in the State based on sexual orientation. The killer was found guilty and sentenced to 25 years. The killer is now free. The Fourth Department Appellate Division, sitting in Rochester, overturned the conviction, finding that the jury’s verdict was inconsistent and that the judge in the lower court erred in failing to instruct the jury to cure the defect in their verdict. Dwight DeLee, the man who killed LaTeisha Green simply because she was a transgender woman, was released from prison on Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2013. He is now free to kill again. The trial testimony and prosecution evidence established these facts: Mark and Teish arrived at the party on Seymour St. and Mark parked on the side of the road where he and Teish waited for friends. A group of people on the other side of the street began shouting homophobic slurs and insults. One of them, Dwight DeLee, went into his house and retrieved a rifle and then approached the car where Mark and Teish were still waiting. As he approached the vehicle DeLee was heard shouting “we don’t play that faggot shit”, “we not done with these faggots” and “get you faggots, get the f** k out of here”. DeLee then pointed his rifle into the car and fired one shot, which injured Mark and fatally wounded Teish. She died shortly after the attack of extensive internal bleeding. DeLee’s maliciousness didn’t end there. Prior to his trial, he was warned by the trial judge not to threaten any of the prosecution witnesses. Despite that warning, the father of two key prosecution witnesses was shot in an attack the police initially believed was in retaliation for his children testifying against DeLee. The witnesses who gave statements implicating Green in the shooting shortly after the crime was committed later changed their testimony at trial and refused to implicate DeLee. Despite this sudden change in tes-

Are we there yet? timony from key witnesses, the jury convicted DeLee on a charge of manslaughter in the first degree as a hate crime. The hate crime statute, which included sexual orientation, was passed in 2000 but the Green case was the first time that it was successfully used to lengthen the sentence of a murderer motivated by homophobia and transphobia. The 25-year sentence was both a vindication of the wisdom of the hate crime law, and a tremendous relief to the Green family and the rest of the Syracuse TG community whose safety would surely be at risk if DeLee had received a shorter sentence, especially given the possibility of parole and early release. The entire LGBT community here in Syracuse is in shock that any court would, on a technicality, let a killer like DeLee go free and is organizing its response. The DA’s office is seeking permission to appeal to the Court of Appeals in the hopes that a higher court will reinstate the conviction. That motion will soon be decided by Judge Erin Peradotto, one of the judges on the panel that heard the appeal in Rochester. If she denies the motion, the case is over and DeLee will remain free. If she grants the motion, the DA will at least have a chance to put DeLee back behind bars where he belongs. The number one killer of trans-people is not lunatics like Dwight DeLee. The leading cause of death in our community is despair. The attempted suicide rate among trans-people is 41 percent. That appalling statistic is the result of the discrimination we face in every facet of our lives from employment to health care to housing and on and on and on. Discrimination, for our community, is a life and death issue. The New York State Senate, and especially Senator Dean Skelos, have blocked passage of GENDA, the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act, for six years. The bill has passed the Assembly six times but the Republican majority leader, Skelos, has never even allowed the bill on to the Senate floor for a vote. DeLee killed one trans-woman. Skelos with his willingness to continually block the passage of GENDA has injured thousands of trans-people across the state. Some kill with guns, some kill with indifference. For updates on the developments in this case and information on how to participate in our community’s response to this outrage, go to transgenderalliance. com. Mallory J. Livingston has been a Syracuse attorney since 1989. She is President of the Transgender Alliance, Board Member of Sage Upstate, and Member, appointed At-Large, of the Citizen’s Review Board. ■

By Michael Lill Are we there yet? No we still have miles to go Pains have begun to heal But we are far from there yet Fear still lives with us What will be said? What will be done to our kind? The sting of the past still lives in our minds Are we there yet? No we are not there yet In a place that is supposed to be just, we are unequal Where so many find loving the one you love wrong Only the quote “norms” have the privilege of being full citizens In a world where it’s a crime if you don’t conform No we are not there yet Are we there yet? We won’t be there when our children still fear who they are We won’t be there when you can kill a kid on the street because he doesn’t fit in We won’t be there when love is divided & only allowed legally to those who conform We won’t be there while the populous still clings to fear of the past We won’t be there while they won’t fly our flag We won’t be there until we are completely equal Are we there yet? We are trying It is better than it used to be But there is still much to do Now is not the time to stop and relax It’s the time to fight harder that ever before Its time to destroy the bigoted past The fear that so many have carried must die We have the power & it’s the time to change for the better Are we there yet? We will be there when we are all free to love When it doesn’t matter who you love When children don’t fear because of who they are When it’s no longer strange to be a human no matter what When our Republic lives up to its founding promises When we truly become a beacon for freedom Are we there yet? No. But I have faith we will be This is a place based on the notion that all people are created equal This is a place that is a promise to all of human history that we will try It may not be perfect And as humans, perfection maybe out of our grasp But we shall achieve it to the best of our abilities If we fail, at least, we will go down fighting Are we there yet? Yes we are there The place we look to have is here Everyone just needs to see it This may never come to pass It would be our own near-sightedness a people not to see The location is upon us, we don’t need to travel anymore The people are all of us and those in our lives Let them hate you Let them fear you Let them love you But stand for now Stand your ground and proclaim now is the promised time Never except defeat You are all the promise Make this the destination we have sought Just love And enjoy being all you are

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

national and international (March from page 11) 11 million undocumented immigrants, including at least 267,000 undocumented LGBT people living in this country, should have a real pathway to citizenship and people from all backgrounds should be able to stay with their families. We believe these are issues that cut across all lines of gender, race and ethnicity, gender identity and sexual orientation, ability and immigration status. It’s time to join forces and demonstrate our collective power…. In Solidarity, Get Equal Human Rights Campaign National Black Justice Coalition National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Pride at Work, AFL-CIO Endorsers: Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice Believe Out Loud Bethel Christian Church, DC BiNet USA Bisexual Resource Center Center for Black Equity CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers The Consortium of Higher Education LGBT Resource Professionals Equality Federation Family Equality Council The Fellowship of Affirming Ministries FORGE, Inc. Freedom to Marry Freedom to Work Gay-Straight Alliance Network (GSA Network) GLAAD GLAD (Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders) GLMA: Health Professionals Advancing LGBT Equality GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network) Harvey Milk Foundation Immigration Equality Lambda Legal Leadership Team of NASPA GLBT Knowledge Community Marriage Equality USA National Center for Lesbian Rights National Center for Transgender Equality National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce NQAPIA Out & Equal Workplace Advocates PFLAG National Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) The Trevor Project Trans Advocacy Network Trans People of Color Coalition Transgender Law Center Unid@s, The National Latin@ LGBT Human Rights Organization LGBT groups joined in anniversary events The 50th Anniversary of the March on Washington was recognized with a weeklong series of events culminating in a rally and march on Aug. 24. The march called on Congress to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, a restoration of the Voting Rights Act, comprehensive immigration reform, and several other key priorities of the civil and human rights movement. (See Empty Closet News at www.GayAlliance.org) The March commemoration also highlighted the role of Bayard Rustin, the openly gay executive director of the original March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, who was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom on Aug. 8. (See page 4)

Parents, doctors say school district sex ed misinforms youth On Aug. 8 parents and physicians filed an update to lawsuit against Clovis Uni-

fied School District, seeking permission from the court to add new information about how the district’s revised sex education is still out of compliance with California law. Last August the plaintiffs sued the district for violating the state’s comprehensive sex education law. The lawsuit was brought by two parents in the district, the American Academy of Pediatrics California District IX and the Gay-Straight Alliance Network. The plaintiffs are represented by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) with pro bono assistance from the law firm Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLP. The new challenge in the lawsuit comes after the district adopted a new high school curriculum in June over parents’ objections. The curriculum contains dangerous misinformation about sexual health and teaches that all people, even consenting adults, should avoid sexual activity until they are married. Both the high school and intermediate school sex education remain in violation of California law. “I’m frustrated and I just don’t understand why the district refuses to provide accurate sexual health information for all students,” said Aubree Smith, a plaintiff in the suit whose daughter just graduated from Clovis High School. “The sex education in Clovis schools is still failing students and provides misinformation that can put young people’s health at risk.” The updated lawsuit points out these problems: The textbooks that Clovis Unified uses for sex education in both high school and intermediate school provide medically inaccurate information in violation of California law. In a list of ways to prevent STDs, for example, the high school textbook never mentions condoms, instead telling students to respect themselves, get plenty of rest, go out as a group, and practice abstinence. This is not just an omission of information, but a distortion that creates an inaccurate picture of how teens can protect themselves, which puts their health at risk. The information that the district does provide about condoms and contraception is undermined and contradicted by the district’s reliance on other inaccurate and misleading material. (The core curriculum is based on the textbooks mentioned above.) The curricula also contain sexual orientation bias, which violates California law and is harmful to teens’ health. For example, many of the materials teach that sexual activity is only acceptable between a man and a woman who are married and that any sexual activity outside marriage is emotionally, physically and morally detrimental, even among adults. Sex education in Clovis also violates the law by promoting gender bias and stereotypes. One video, “No Apologies: The Truth About Life, Love, Sex,” tells students that most boys will lie about having an STD in order to get “sexual favors” while girls only engage in sexual activity “to get love in return, ‘cause that’s what they really want.” “Sex Still Has a Price Tag,” a video by Pam Stenzel that the district approved for use in June, provides misinformation about STDs, and tells students that condoms are not effective. Stenzel recently faced wide criticism after a speech at a West Virginia high school during which she told students, “If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you.” “Clovis Unified is in clear violation of the law and is knowingly putting young people’s health at risk,” said Melissa Goodman senior staff attorney at the ACLU of Southern California. “Teens need complete and accurate sexual health information for whatever point in their lives they become sexually active and California sexual education law mandates we give them that.” Under California law sexual health education in public schools must be medically accurate, include science-based information about condoms and contra-

ception as well as abstinence, and be free of bias. The California Department of Public Health recently attributed California’s declining teen birth rate to California’s comprehensive sex

Lily Tomlin, Jane Wagner may marry (dressed like chickens) Comedy great Lily Tomlin is ready to make it legal with Jane Wagner, her partner of more than four decades and jokes the couple may dress as chickens, reports E!’s Marc Malkin. Tomlin, who’ll turn 74 on September 1, told Malkin that she and her longtime partner and collaborator Wagner, 78, never expected same-sex marriage to become legal in their lifetime. Now that the Supreme Court has struck down Prop.

17 education, but the Clovis Unified School District is still refusing to provide the quality sex education that has been proven effective in protecting students’ health. ■

8, the couple, who reside in California, are considering their options. “You don’t really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice,” Tomlin said. “Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very very happy about it.” Being the iconic funny lady she is, don’t expect the woman who’s made us laugh in films such as Nine to Five and Big Business to have a traditional wedding. “No rings, no bridal dresses,” she added. “Maybe we’ll be dressed like chickens.” Photo: Oliver Morris/Getty Images ■

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The University of Rochester presents Producer’s Premiere and Gala – A Benefit for the Gay Alliance – TM

A new documentary from the Gay Alliance Rochester’s LGBT history is intertwined with the history of the Gay Alliance. This full length feature film documents Rochester’s involvement in the earliest moments of the LGBT movement. The film follows LGBT pioneer activists as they encourage people to be out and flex their political muscle in the 1970s; documents the arrival and effect of HIV/AIDS in the 1980s; and the focus on corporate equality through the 1990s; and, as the new century arrives, the struggle for marriage equality.

Our Struggles, Our Stories, Our Lives Join us for the first screening of this amazing cinematic achievement.

Sunday, September 29 Dryden Theatre, George Eastman House, 900 East Avenue, Rochester, New York 14607 Doors open at 3pm; Program begins at 4pm Gala reception follows the screening. Complimentary beer, wine, soft drinks, hors d’oeuvres and a cash bar $40 general seating, advance sales only. Ticket sales end Monday, September 23 Purchase tickets by credit card now at www.GayAlliance.org In person at Gay Alliance offices, or send check to Shoulders To Stand On c/o Gay Alliance, 875 E Main Street, Rochester New York 14605

875 E Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 585-244-8640 • Info@GayAlliance.org

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On Shoulders To Stand On From 1973 to 2013 – 40 years of Social Organizing, Economic Growth and Political Activism: Bachelor Forum, Congratulations! By Evelyn Bailey What 40 years ago was Fernand’s by the “tracks” is now the newly renovated, up and coming Bachelor Forum on the corner of University and the Atlantic Ave. in the NOTA area! The story based on oral tradition goes something like this. When Arnie Pegish was a young leather motorcycle queen, he frequented Fernand’s at 1065 East Main St. near the intersection of Goodman and Main. Arnie decided he would decrease the outrageous amount of money he thought he was spending on beer by buying the Bachelor Forum with Walt and Vinnie Wheeler. So in March of 1973 Arnie bought Fernands and the story begins. In April, 1973 the following ad appeared in The Empty Closet newspaper: “Come See Vinnie, Pat & Arnie At Rochester’s Newest Club, Fernand’s Beef And Bun, Featuring Recording Star Tom Arena, 1065 East Main At Goodman.” In June, 1973, just two months later, the name changed and the Bachelor Forum was open for lunch and dinner complete with a decanter of wine for $1.95 and “homespun entertainment”! In the early days the Bachelor Forum held dinners in the “Vintage Room” to support

the Albany lobbying efforts by the New York State Coalition of Gay Organizations (NYSCGO), the Gay Brotherhood, and the Gay Alliance. The Forum continues to be the official home bar of The Rochester Rams, M. C., and the Empire Bears fraternity. The Forum had live bands and popular films were shown free of charge on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday evenings. The Bachelor Forum hosted monthly pageants to choose Mr. Forum, a hunky stud, and Miss Forum, the best looking drag queen, each of whom would receive engraved trophies. Aggy Dune began performing at the Forum as a drag queen. You could dance to live music at the Forum on Thursday, Friday or Saturday

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between 9 p.m. and 1 a.m. The Bachelor Forum for many years was synonymous with the Vinnie–Vickie Cups. The Vinnie Cup Award, first presented in 1975, is given in honor of Vinnie Wheeler, Arnie’s partner, who left the community with a challenge for everyone “to do your part to help make the gay community in Rochester one of the strongest in the country.” The Vinnie Cup Award is presented to an individual who has made significant contributions to Rochester’s gay community. In December of 1973, the Bachelor Forum kitchen was officially named “Miss Vickie’s Kitchen” after Vickie Russo, who was a bartender at the Forum and an activist for human rights. Two of Vickie’s most notable humanitarian contributions were that she prepared many dinners for gay men and women who did not have any place to go on Thanksgiving, and sent many housebound brothers and sisters meals on wheels at the beginning of the AIDS crisis. Single handedly Vickie and the Forum became the forerunner of “Meals On Wheels.” In 1984, in honor of Vickie, Arnie Pegish established the Vickie Cup Award, given to a woman in the community who has given outstanding service, whether paid or volunteered, to the general community, including the gay and lesbian community. In 1989, because of urban renewal, the Bachelor Forum moved to its current location at 670 University Ave. in the heart of Art Walk. The Forum permitted Art Walk Rochester’s urban art trail to erect the sculpture Three Pride Symbols outside its door in honor of the LGBT community’s history. Over the years the Bachelor Forum has undergone many changes. Arnie’s motorcycle no longer hangs in the Forum. The Rams still call the Bachelor Forum home, and meet there monthly. Leather night and bar night are regular occurrences at the Forum. The Rams continue the Forum tradition of doing a pumpkin run in October to bring pumpkins to shelters and children in the community to help celebrate Halloween, and they stage a holiday toy drive each year. These events reveal the true nature of the Rams brotherhood. Arnie Pegish died in July 2007. Almost exactly one year later, the executors of the estates of Richard Towner and Arnold Pegish agreed to sell Peter Mohr The Bachelor Forum, Inc. Peter had always wanted to own a bar, and Arnie Pegish wanted Peter to own the Forum when he died. In August 2008 Peter became the new owner of the Bachelor Forum. At that time, John Dash, executor of Arnie’s estate, said, “From the day of Arnie’s death last July to today, Peter has done a remarkable job not only maintaining the bar, but growing it. I owe him a great debt of gratitude and am happy that he will be the one to carry the Bachelor Forum into the future.” Since taking ownership of the Bachelor Forum, Peter has renovated the bathrooms, updated computer access, upgraded the televisions, and most recently has given the Forum a complete facelift externally and internally, with tall windows opening up the interior to sunlight. Peter’s finger is on the pulse of the community, and the Forum will continue to respond to meet the expectations and needs of its customers. Peter wants to continue the legacy of Arnie Pegish and Richard Towner to the Rochester community. Donna Ventura, president of the neighboring ArtWalk Tile & Flooring, said, “Peter Mohr’s loyal friendship to Arnie Pegish and dedication to the business, The Bachelor Forum, are to be commended. He is truly an asset to the community as a business entrepreneur.”

The Forum is a bar that welcomes diversity, contributes to the economy of Rochester, and continuously supports the gay community’s fight for equal rights. “Hello Darling, how are you?” is Peter’s greeting to the Bachelor Forum’s customers, who are more than just faces in a crowd. Peter takes an interest in people, and wants his customers to feel comfortable and at “home” when they walk through the door. The Bachelor Forum is a unique kind of place -- a sort of neighborhood bar where everyone’s a friend, even if they’ve never seen each other before. There’s a devoted crowd of regulars who love having a good time and help others to have a good time, too. So drop in and introduce yourself. There are many Shoulders that make the Bachelor Forum a neighborhood bar where “everyone knows your name”. Shoulders To Stand On is proud to recognize the Bachelor Forum’s 40 years of being a friendly, no-attitude bar and gathering place for the area’s leather/levi and bear communities. Shoulders To Stand On proudly celebrates one of the Rochester LGBT community’s oldest beacons of support, vision and activism – The Bachelor Forum! ■

History Corner A monthly newsletter of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: September 1973: SUN 9 SEPT: PICNIC: “GAY OLE TIME IN THE COUNTRY” Meet at GAGV Center at noon. Bring swimsuit and dish to pass. $1 contribution towards food. SAT 15 SEPT: CLEAN-UP/PAINTUP/FIX-UP DAY 1-5 pm at GAGV Center. Preparation for open house! Wear work clothes, and bring tools and equipment. SUN 16 SEPT: PROGRAM: “GAY OPPRESSION” What it is, how it feels, and how to deal with it. 7:30 pm, GAGV Center, 812 Brown St. (rear). Membership night: $3.50 membership dues collectible. SUN 23 SEPT: SOCIAL; “OPEN HOUSE POR GAYS & FRIENDS” Official opening of GAGV Center for all gays. Come and bring a friend. Refreshments, entertainment, coffee house atmosphere. Our big event of the year! 7:30 pm ‘til.... 812 Brown Street (rear) TUES.25 SEPT: COORDINATING COUNCIL MEETING. The Gay White House, 7:15 pm. SUN 30 SEPT: PROGRAM: “POLITICAL CANDIDATE NIGHT”. Meeting with candidates who will discuss their stand on gay issues, and their analysis of chances for passage of gay legislation. 7:30 pm. GAGV Center.

Announcing the 2013 Pride Picnic Raffle Winner: David Tobin David Tobin is the winner of the 2013 Pride Picnic Raffle, consisting of an Edibles gift certificate for dinner, a bar tab at ONE Restaurant and Lounge, and two tickets to the world premiere of Shoulders To Stand On. Congratulations David – enjoy a wonderful evening out!

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Reunion/Parade By Eric Bellmann One school of thought advises that to ensure a solid relationship one must tell friends how we wish to be treated. Make sure they understand what is

not acceptable. I suppose this is about boundaries. If one is unquestioningly grateful for a particular friendship, it’s possible this step is skipped. Then one may find oneself in a situation where something has occurred that doesn’t go down well. And that’s a problem. My observation is that if a corrective is delivered after some perceived slight, it may be heard as scolding. That can only make things worse. Tell a person what they have done wrong and chances are likely they will comply with an apology. Worse case scenario: they will now regard you less as the loving, supportive guy you intended to be. They may become withdrawn, lose spontaneity, even take a hike. That’s pretty much what happened to me. My good fortune has been to have a friendship with a gay man more than half my age. I have waxed poetic about this being a kid I could mentor, the “child I never had”, someone who would reveal the aspirations and concerns of a contemporary gay man, someone who has benefited from the achievements of the gay generations that have preceded him, people like myself. I really got into that role. You know what? A lot of that just sailed in one ear and out the other, best I can tell. Nonetheless we lumbered along for a good long stretch. Is growth inevitable? Sometimes it’s almost unnoticeable. I chose to be optimistic. This was, after all, “my baby”. I got to see a steady, slow maturation. It’s not major news that many of us have deeply implanted conflicted feelings about being gay. Internalized homophobia. Having worked though a lot of that self-loathing, I was neither surprised nor unsympathetic to expressions of judgment coming from my pal. Good heavens, there were times he told me he wouldn’t talk to someone because he didn’t like the clothes they were wearing! What held me together was remembering what a dork I had been at his age and well beyond. I did my best to walk in his shoes, to see the world from his perspective, to recall how I behaved and the things I did at thirty. Truth be told, I was a nightmare until I was in my 40s and some people might even question that. I thought to myself, sorry pal, this is your tribe. You better get to know your own history, develop some neutral or positive regard for the folks who struggled to make the world you live in a better place. It’s a situation not unlike when the granddaughters of First Generation feminists just assume the world is fair, tolerant. Anyway, I didn’t make a big deal out of much of anything. It was fun just hanging out now and then. I got to see my chum work through a relationship, find a new career, make some job choices. It all seemed good. He even shoveled my sidewalk and driveway during my winter trips to New York, for which of course I paid, but he always did a fantastic job and every time I came home when there had been a storm, the pavement was spotless.

And, whoa Nellie, didn’t the gay world he and I lived in get a whole lot better at near warp speed? Sure bowled me over. Gay marriage in New York State for one, now the end of DOMA. And lots of little things: more celebrities outing themselves, same-sex marriage announcements in the New York Times, greater visibility at every turn. Indeed, good times. But while all this change was occurring, while I relished my role as coach and therapist, something either grew or changed within me. I got tired of being a cheerleader. What brought it into focus was that I got sick. Twice. Chronic bronchitis that took forever to remedy. Brought me low. I wanted attention and asked for it. And I didn’t get what I wanted. Let’s just skip to the point where I sent an email, not in solid caps which would indicate screaming, but you’ll get the idea: “I never want to hear from you or speak to you again.” Gay rage, girls, major gay rage. And I was instantly ashamed of myself. So, I apologized. To no avail. Apparently the baby went out with the bathwater. While still in high dudgeon I defriended him on Facebook. I deleted a lot of email and other stuff too tedious to list. I didn’t erase his contact from my cell phone and that, six months later, proved fortuitous. Two days before this year’s Gay Pride parade I got a text (a form of communication I hate and so typical of his generation) asking if I’m going. “It would be nice to see you. You can meet my new BF, I’ll let you know where we are hanging out.” Harrumph. “I assumed this was about healing the rift, sending me the apology for blowing me off, not visiting when I was sick, guess not. Have a nice time.” “It was about healing the rift. I am sorry. I didn’t know how sick you were.” Plus a few more phony baloney pleasantries but the signature “snow shoveler” sold me, made everything right. So, I went to the parade and met the BF who is charming and cute. It was good to see them happy. I told him everything was OK. Fresh start. And that felt very, very good. Is there a moral to this story, any lessons to be learned? Sure. Be of a forgiving nature. Try to understand generational differences. Be clear about needs and expectations. Most of all: don’t delete your cell phone contacts. Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Faith Matters The queer politics of writing on race By Rev. Irene Monroe When Sue O’Connell, the publisher and editor of the Boston-based LGBTQ newspaper “Bay Window,” which I also write for, penned her piece “Sharing our experience: White gay men and black men have more in common than they think”, a firestorm erupted. Evidence of the conflagration was not only seen on the paper’s website but it was also buzzed about around town. Responses to the piece created a deluge of criticism ranging from thoughtful advice to damning personal attacks. The fury O’Connell’s piece ignited raised for me this query: “Can white LGBTQs

suggest or give advice to communities of color from their own experiences of discrimination?” It’s a polemic that has been avoided because of the politics of political correctness, as well as how any discussion on race, no matter who’s stirring the conversation — a rabid racist, the president or Attorney General Eric Holder – invariably inflames our emotions more than informs our faculties. Many communities of color contest that white people -- straight or LGBTQ — show no real vested interest in engaging in this country’s needed dialogue on race. And many whites have confessed their aversion to such a dialogue, stating that while a cultural defense of “white guilt” plays a role in their reticence so too does their cultural fear of “black rage” for inadvertently saying the wrong thing. What further complicates the dialogue on race is a perceived as well as a real avalanche of attacks coming from communities of color, spewing how whites are as unconsciously racist as they are incurably so. This, too, leaves the needed dialogue on race in the balance. But with the dominant LGBTQ community’s continued indelicate dance of white privilege and single-issue platforms thwarting efforts for coalition building with communities of color, the notion for some people of color that white marginalized and struggling groups (white women, LGBTQ, the poor, to name a few) in this country might have something to offer communities of color in terms of advice and/or shared (not same) experiences appears absolutely preposterous. And it is also equally absurd to think that they don’t. But how, then, do we, as an entire LGBTQ community, broach our needed dialogue on race? My answer: past harms need to be redressed. For example, civil rights struggles in this country, unfortunately, have primarily been understood and demonstrated as tribal and unconnected rather than intersectional and interdependent. As for our queer community, one way to broach our needed dialogue on race is to address white LGBTQs appropriating from people of color’s history of struggle and then whitewashing it as solely their own. Case-in-point, the inspiration and source of an LGBTQ movement postStonewall is an appropriation of a black, brown, trans, and queer liberation narrative and struggle. The Stonewall Riot of June 27 to 29, 1969 in Greenwich Village started on the backs of working-class African-American and Latino queers who patronized that bar. Those brown and black LGBTQ people are not only absent from the photos of those nights but they also have been bleached from its written history. Many LGBTQ blacks and Latinos continue to argue that one of the reasons for the gulf between whites and themselves is the fact that the dominant queer community rewrote and continues to control the narrative of Stonewall. For many years I taught a collegelevel course titled “Power and Privilege,” exploring how many of our stereotypes about people whom we perceive as being different invade our lives without much conscious deliberation on our part. Issues of race, gender, social class, sexual orientation, age and ability, among others, were considered, and how such distinctions often lead to an inequitable distribution of political power, social wellbeing, and the resources available to individual members of society. On the syllabus I laid out the rules regarding classroom interaction: 1. We will address our colleagues in our classroom by name. 2. We will listen to one another — patiently, carefully — assuming that each one of us is always doing the best that s/he can. We will speak thoughtfully. We will speak in the first person. 3. Although our disagreements may be vigorous, they will not be conducted in a

win-lose manner. We will take care that all participants are given the opportunity to engage in the conversation. 4. We will own our assumptions, our conclusions, and their implications. We will be open to another’s intellectual growth and change. 5. We cannot be blamed for misinformation we have been taught and have absorbed from our U.S. society and culture, but we will be held responsible for repeating misinformation after we have learned otherwise. 6. We each have an obligation to actively combat stereotypes so that we can begin to eradicate the biases which prevent us from envisioning the well being of us all. O’Connell blundered in her piece — some blunders on facts and the others thinking the community could have a civil conversation on race.

A Few Bricks Short Fluffy By David Hull Months ago, back in January, it was January the 1st to be exact, I mentioned to my husband Bernie that 2013 was going to be the year that I finally successfully lost some weight. Not just a couple of pounds, but the full 10 pounds my doctor keeps insisting that I need to take off. Now it’s September and guess what – I’m still about 10 pounds short of that 10 pound weight-loss goal. It’s kind of frustrating because all summer I worked out in the garden – watering, transplanting, weeding, mowing the lawn – it wasn’t like I was inactive. I didn’t lounge in the hammock reading Archie comic books all summer; although that would have been a lovely way to spend the time. However, when I was 12 years old I actually did spend the entire summer in the hammock reading comic books, and not just Archie. Oh, please, I was a connoisseur of comics – I read Silver Surfer and The Teen Titans and Tomb of Dracula and Swamp Thing as well. I remember my mother complaining that I was wasting my whole summer vacation reading comic books! I never understood how that woman could use the word “wasting” in the same sentence with “comic books,” but somehow she did. My point is that even though I spent the summer with Betty & Veronica and The Legion of Super Heroes, I wasn’t overweight. I was a skinny, little geek. This past summer I was busy outside every day and went to the gym three times a week and now I’m a chunky, big geek. It just doesn’t seem fair. I have tried various methods of weight control, but I haven’t had much success. I’ve tried measuring my servings or using smaller plates or eating more slowly. I’ve even gotten desperate enough to try unbelievable, crazy stunts, like not having second helpings. However, Bernie happens to be a wonderful cook and his meals taste so delicious, I just have to have second helpings. Wouldn’t it be rude not to? It is convenient that I can blame my weight problems on my husband’s cooking, but that’s not very helpful in losing any excess poundage. Bernie’s reply is generally that he thinks I’m the type of person who could go on the TV reality show Naked & Afraid and gain weight. I just reminded him that if I were naked, it would be everyone else who was afraid! And then there are those weight loss “experts” who bestow such helpful advice. I read one article that said I could control food cravings by eating specific foods like roast duck and fava beans. Really? When is the last time you went into a grocery store meat section and saw duck for sale? And what the

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet hell are fava beans? I come from a family that believes meatloaf with macaroni and cheese is a fancy meal, so, no, the roast duck is probably not going to work for me. How about the weight loss systems that add points from fat and carbohydrates? Great, that’s just what I need. It’s not bad enough I’ll be on a diet, but they want me to do math besides. Perhaps I could have it in a word problem – if there were four Twinkies on a train from Chicago going 60MPH and two Klondike bars in a refrigerator truck from NYC going 45MPH, which bedtime snack would you receive first? Forget it – I’ll just eat the Chips Ahoy we already have in the cupboard! Actually, I seldom eat ice cream or cookies or doughnuts, but I do love pasta, rice and bread – any bread – muffins, biscuits, bagels, rye, pumpernickel or whole wheat – honestly, I love them all! I should have a T-shirt that reads “I’ve never met a carb I didn’t like.” Bear with me while I tell you a story. My husband rescues cats. This one very large long-haired female was a mess. She loved to be petted, but you couldn’t get your fingers through her snarled fur. Her long, thick coat was terribly matted and knotted and this creature did not like getting brushed. The cat wasn’t afraid of the dust mop or the vacuum cleaner, but if she even saw the brush in your hand, she would freak out and hide behind the couch. It just got worse, so finally, in desperation, we had to take her to the pet groomer to be shaved. Needless to say, she didn’t like being shaved any more than she liked being brushed, but somehow, with lots of kitty drama, she got through it and was cleaned up. And what a surprise – under all that long, thick, tangled fur she wasn’t actually a large cat, at all. She was really fairly skinny and muscular. Bernie shrugged and said; “I guess she wasn’t big, she was just fluffy.”

And then it struck me – it was perfect. I’m not big either! At my doctor appointment later this month, I’ll happily explain to the doctor: “No, I didn’t lose the 10 pounds, but don’t worry, I’m just fluffy.” “Fluffy” makes me sound more loveable anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I may have a few more sunny days that I’ll be able to spend in the hammock reading some comic books! Contact David at davidhull59@aol. com

Cleaning My Closet Move It, Remove It, Move-On Construction Company By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger In conclusion. I needed to uncelebrate a legal marriage. July 30th arrived… the day that might have been my third wedding anniversary. Might have been our thirteenth year of sharing life with all its intricacies, integrations, and intimacies. If Deception had not slashed wedding vows with piercing shards of pain. The end. In the beginning. I started reconstruction of my new reality. I refused to die from divorce. I dyed. Red. I had specifically chosen Party Attitudes for my July 30th ReBirthDay. Started with little shock parties as, one by one, I, visited friends, appearing with my lovely gray hair transformed into amazing golden red locks. Smiled at their words of surprise. “Oh-my-god-OMGOMG-OMG-OMG… OMG!!” chanted Donna. “You’re rockin!” observed niece Jodi. And “Holy shmoly!” responded

sage cousin Lanie. When I emailed pictures of Refurbished Me to my far-away beloveds, I created a variety of subject lines. Put together, they formed my Good News Release. One declaration: “My way of healing.” To ally cousin Kathy: “This is the affirmation I see in the mirror.” For my two concerned sons: “A way to joyful living.” To one of my major anchors: “I did survive… and played… and risked.” To a special supporter: “Going crazy wild and loving it.” Sent to all who helped lift me out of rock bottom: “The phoenix rises.” So, I made happy plans. I had an early start with the one who offers unconditional love and faithful attention, my Dachshund/Rat Terrier. Merrily, I and Vegas Sebastian partied around the ponds. He, sniffing morning messages, and I, gathering mental pictures of beauty to stuff into my heart, bounced down the trail. Next activity: I met a dear friend for coffee, toast, and laughter. Afterwards, we strolled in morning sunshine until we found a suitable rock. She perched there while she glued and sprinkled a party on my arm. Giggling, I exclaimed: “Here I come, New Day. Look! Look at my sparkling purple, pink, teal, gold, and silver Glitter Tattoo.” I did not doubt that I needed to schedule serious work. It was imperative that I meet with Counselor Nancy. She helped me keep my feet going forward and my head attached. Together we found words that reminded me to nurture my Self, to celebrate my Self. And as always, she coaxed me closer to stability. The finale of my New Day was a festive dinner party at the Gatehouse in Rochester’s Neighborhood of the Arts. I dressed in fantastic garments accessorized with astonishing dangling earrings. (Lots of choices… my sister had just given me twenty-four pairs to help me play dress-up.) All gussied up, I chauffeured my spe-

23 cial friend, of twenty-four years, to the city. It was important to me to be with someone who has known me before, during, and after a variety of pits, paths, and pursuits of happiness. Our delightful dinner started with exotic cheese-stuffed figs, wrapped in bacon, drizzled with a balsamic reduction. I ordered a Highland Park salad because it had edible orchid petals. It seemed the appropriately frivolous thing to do. (I have to admit that I liked it better when they used whole orchids, but things change and petals are better than no flowerness at all.) Dessert… of course! Off we went to funky South Wedge to visit Hedonist heaven. Their salted caramel ice cream is transcendent. And presented in a dark, sturdy waffle cone they make on site… those cones are so good they could sell air in a waffle cone. I chose their regular size, which is really two scoops. In my youth, “regular” was one puny scoop. I have to admit this change made me dance. As darkness fell, the First Day of my Next Chapter ended. Wrapped in gentle cuddles from my four-legged Beating Heart, I reviewed my love-filled day and slipped into sweet dreams of my peaceful, renovated life. Nonetheless, every surprise-now and unexpected-then, I feel the bumps of inevitable AfterShocks. Oh yes, I had, once upon a time, believed that 2 promises shared in privacy plus 1 domestic partnership plus 1 spiritual wedding plus 1 legal marriage equaled forever. Not so. After I had plummeted into the excruciating inferno, I could finally feel the math, feel the searing truth… ten good years of marriage plus three bad years equals zero. It is no surprise that I wanted, needed to tell my story. I knew that disgorging wads of Bad speeds recuperation. At crisis onset, I did worry that I might push away my friends with Oh-no-notthat-again. Then they reached out. My

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

sister and my long time friends were willing to listen, listen, listen. Daily I talked with compassionate persons. Sometimes I just needed their ears because, somehow, uttering Dreadfuls aloud brought clarity to my muddled mind. Often times I needed their perspectives to help me understand that I had, simply, experienced yet another life event. I realized I must write. I had to see in print: I can cope with any difficulties. Had to remind myself to enjoy every minute, every second. Had to separate trauma from liberation. On one hand, I chose a small, thin, inexpensive notebook… the cover is geometric black chains. In it I have recorded, in pencil, my wildly seething rage. Scrawling on paper successfully prevents Intrusive Thoughts from stampeding through my mind. On the other hand, I turned to my soothing writing space… my lavender, soft leather journal book, its pages edged in gold. My first entry was Acknowledgements, a gathering of the names of all my Hearts-On-Call. Now, nightly, pen in hand, I record my Gratitudes. And read them to Vegas Sebastian so he can hear the tranquility in my voice. All the while, my still-attached head understands that it is important for me to abandon wallowing in disappointment. Understands that I am responsible for building my own hell or designing my own heaven. Every day I practice Zen habits for balanced living. Every moment I appreciate life as it goes on… unfurling, surging, plodding, blooming. Yes, I will continue to embrace life. To invite my Self to my Parties. To use more glitter. MeredithElizabethReiniger@gmail. com

Inspiritual T> I and C By Rev. Dr. Sharon Jacobson Looking at the title of my blog for today, some of you might be thinking it looks like a mathematical formula. Let me see if I can walk us through this mathematical expression. Metamorphosis is the transformation that occurs in some animals as they move from one state of being to another, like from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Over the course of our lives, we have been in the process of our own transformation, physically and spiritually. There is a scripture in the New Testament Book of Romans which tells us quite simply, do not conform to this world, but be transformed in it by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God – what is good and acceptable and perfect. Paul’s words challenge us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. So what causes us to be transformed? What causes us to move from one place in our spiritual development to another? Transformation happens when we are able to move beyond our limited understanding of God, our limited understanding of our own potential, our limited understanding of our own limitless nature. As my parents told me many times growing up, if you can’t dream it, then you can’t achieve it. Remember God created us with both the desire to be transformed and the capacity to make that transformation happen. Sometimes we fall into a trap in our lives where we are waiting for someone else or something else to do the work for us. If only X would happen, then everything would be OK. If only X would change, then we would not have to. The change might bring about some temporary relief, but if we have not changed, then it is indeed temporary. I stands for improvement. Improve-

ment is good, but all too often it is only temporary. I can’t tell you how many times I have started a new and improved way of eating, but then I hit a bump in the road and I am back to my old ways of eating. If we were being honest with ourselves, we have all put the new and improved label on at some point in time in our lives. Sometimes we stay in that “improved” state for a while and sometimes we don’t. I once worked with someone who had a bad temper. She learned to count to 10 before speaking and we saw this marked improvement in her ability to control her temper. One day, she forgot to count to 10 and she lost it. I is good, but C is better. C stands for change. We are all capable of change. Change happens when we undergo some conscious change in how we think that has an external reflection in how we behave. For example, I knew someone once who had been clean and sober for 25 years. They had changed the way they thought about themselves and did what they needed to do to stay sober. Then 25 years later something happened and they regressed into their previous pattern of drinking. They had been changed, but they had not been transformed. Change has its limits and is determined by human will. As long as our will tells us to do something differently, then we do. When something disrupts our will to continue that improved behavior, we fall back into our old routines. T stands for transformation. Transformation includes change, but change does not include transformation. To be transformed is intentional and requires attention. One does not become transformed over night. Transformation includes the intentional effort to build a relationship with the authentic self. It means one peels back the layers of ego that have eased God out. It means that one realizes there is no escaping all of the things one has spent years trying to escape. It means you have to do that painful work to face your demons so they no longer have any control over you. A singer, Meg Christian, once wrote a song called Look Within. In the song, she says great wisdom through painful experience is an inside job. Until we dive into the deep blue seas of our lives and tap into the authentic self that God created us with, we can only change and in some respects continue to conform to the world. Transformation through the renewing of one’s mind is not easy. If it was, I guess everyone would do it, but it is worth it. Transformation requires us to develop spiritual practices that will keep us connected to the Infinite Presence. It means we have to stay clear about what our intentions are and where we are directing our attention. My grandmother used to say you could tell a lot about a person by where they spend their time and their money. In many respects, this is true. Are the people, places, and situations where you pay the most attention in line with the intention that God has for your life? When your intention is in line with where you spend your attention, you will find that there is a significant change in your life. I was once told that one sign that one is making progress in one’s transformation is when you are no longer inflated by praise or deflated by criticism. When we are not dependent on other people to tell us affirming and positive things about ourselves to feel good about ourselves, then we are making progress. That is not to say that it does not feel good when other people sing our praises or pay us compliments, but that your joy, your sense of self should not be dependent on whether someone praises you or criticizes you. Who we see ourselves to be is not and should not be dependent on what other people think of us. Another sign that we are evolving in our transformation is how long it takes to forgive others and ourselves. When we are holding on to anger, the desire for retaliation, or still singing that some-

body done me wrong song, then we are stuck in our ego and not moving forward in our transformation. When we are making progress in our transformation, we move from this attitude of negativity and resentment and it gives way to compassion, love, and forgiveness. We begin to express our love for others in ways that we could not before. We begin to realize true happiness does not come from the external; it comes from within. I cannot make you happy and you cannot make me happy. I am not responsible for your emotions and you are not responsible for mine. Osho once wrote, “Remember the head as a slave is a beautiful slave, of much utility. But as a master, it is a dangerous master.” We must be mindful that we do not allow our selves to engage in or continue to engage in patterns or behaviors that block our transformation. We must be equally mindful to use the dialogue we have with ourselves to encourage our growth, to affirm who we are at any point in time. We must remember as Miley Cyrus sang in her song that it is all about the climb. It is not about how fast you get there. It’s about working with yourself to prepare yourself to be able to withstand the mountains and valleys in life and not allow the bumps to throw you, to steal your joy or hijack your happiness. It’s all about the climb and remembering that T is greater than I and C.

What’s Bothering Brandon? Axe: The Smell of Rape Culture By Brandon W. Brooks I like to fiercely maintain my morning routine; both because I hate mornings and without a routine I would not know what to do with myself, and because I know if I do not rise immediately upon hearing the shrill shriek of my alarm, I won’t be going anywhere. After I manage to lift the dead weight of my body out of bed, scrub off my face and dress myself (again, could I get some footmen over here?!), it’s straight to the nearest caffeinated beverage dispensary. My morning coffee, along with several cigarettes and a number of certain newspaper columns, is essential for me to appear polite and agreeable to the world around me. My human face-mask would simply come unglued without it. If I have somehow managed to get my coffee early enough, I have time to sit and enjoy the newspaper in the slowly warming sunlight, silently gathering the energies needed to greet the hectic day ahead of me. Then, it happens. A teenage (or even twenty-something-year-old) boy arrives to the coffee shop, with no real need for caffeine as demonstrated by his loud, inconsiderate displays of excess energy. He clearly does not need to be there, breathing and talking so eagerly in the early morning, but I decide against homicide -- at least at such an early hour. I am able to ignore these alarmingly energetic young males, but only until they walk past and I am hit by a literal wall of scent. This odor, which gives me a very real visceral reaction, is none other than Axe “cologne.” Axe, first marketed in 1983 by British-Dutch company Unilever, is a cheap cologne marketed to the young male demographic. I say cheap in reference to its monetary price, as well as to its overall olfactory value; basically it smells like shit. If the smell of Axe wasn’t enough, the sheer amount of cologne this poor child was sporting was enough to make the eyes of any antihistamine-pooping allergy queen water. Each time this hap-

pens, I am instantly reminded not only of the offensive and assaulting quality of Axe’s so-called aroma, but also of the company’s rampant use of blatant misogyny in order to peddle their product. We (adults and children) have all seen Axe commercials throughout the past ten or fifteen years, either to our amusement or dismay. A vast majority of these commercials feature young males (almost always white), who for some reason need a little extra something in order to attract females to them, in large numbers and varieties. These females, who do not seem to have any sense of self-worth or importance, are so attracted to the scent of Axe, are so totally enthralled by its intoxicating odor, that they will often fight one another to get to this young man first. The women featured (or rather objectified) in these commercials do not have minds of their own, nor the ability to discriminate between or evaluate these adolescent males. Axe advertisements showcase and celebrate the idea that women can and should be attained by means of coercion and guile, and most importantly, that they are disposable and replaceable. After all, none of the males in these commercials seem to be interested in an actual relationship or friendship. No doubt the aerosol fumes have wiped away any remaining brain cells to do so. Each commercial follows this basic format; a young, non-descript male applies Axe vigorously and extensively (a couple lacquered coats will do), after which he is literally bombarded with helplessly attracted females, running from miles away to find this boy. This irresistible female urge to find the Axedrenched male like heat-seeking missiles is called The Axe-Effect. Women who would have otherwise ignored and passed by these adolescent boys are suddenly, and unquestioningly, drawn closer and succumb to the desires of the males; the male body is in command of the females’. Some of these women are businesswomen, some are young girls, some are even literal angels fallen from heaven, willing to shatter their halos and therefore give up their divinity for these males. Some of the female props of these commercials (let’s face it, that’s all women are in these commercials), are not actual females at all. One commercial in particular showcases merely a pair of large walking breasts, and how a male has only to apply Axe to have unlimited access to these breasts. These commercials reinforce and exploit the idea that women’s bodies are something to be controlled, owned and infringed upon. It capitalizes on the rape culture which currently permeates societies worldwide, marketing it as something that will “get you the girls”, and quite successfully at that. It also starkly divides its consumer demographic by advertising specifically to heterosexual males (I doubt any lesbian would be caught dead sporting Axe), cutting out and objectifying more than half of the world’s population in the process. These commercials cultivate and perpetuate the audio/visual (and olfactory) masturbation that is Axe. What’s more, when directly confronted regarding its clear misogynist underbelly on social media site Twitter, Axe answered back a resounding, “…those words are too big for our vocabulary here at Axe…” Apparently, their perfumist has included purposeful stupidity within the formula along with misogyny. Most of my mornings are thankfully Axe-less, but every now and again I am accosted with the pungent smell and am reminded of how far-gone we all are. Sure, the cologne is made and marketed generally towards adolescent straight males and not adults in general, but this does not mean the message isn’t soaking into the minds of everybody else; we all watch television. I’m just relieved they haven’t invented smell-o-vision…yet. ■

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community

friends and allies are welcome! Contact Person: Cathie Timian. More info: www.l-o-r-a.com; Email: info@l-or-a.com.

Out & Equal Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of September 2013. 1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music. 2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 3rd Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 4th Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner! 5th Sunday: Special Presentation on Transgender Issues. Our Potluck theme for September is “Abundant Autumn Apples”. There are lots of recipes out there using apples… they aren’t just for pies, you know! Bring your favorite or find a new one and share it with everyone else. No time to cook or shop? Just ask a friend or two and join us for food and fun! Calendar Keepers: Save a spot on your

calendar for our Labor Day Picnic, Sunday, Sept. 1 following the 5 p.m. service. On Sept. 29 there will be a special presentation on transgender issues. On Oct. 20 we’ll be celebrating our 38th anniversary. You can call the Hotline at 585-2345092 or check our website at www.dirochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

Let’s Meet The women’s social group Let’s Meet will gather on Sept. 27 at the Genesee Brewery Restaurant at 6:30 p.m. Let’s Meet stands for “Lesbians Evolving Their Singleness (by) Meeting (and) Eating Enthusiastically Together.” For information call Ramona at 585-4901424.

Out & Equal will hold its September Second Thursday Networking event on Sept. 12 at the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave., from 5:30-7:30 p.m.

ROMANS After enjoying a variety of outdoor nude activities during the summer months, the ROMANS are moving indoor with regular meetings at members’ homes and hot tubbing where available. A special activity during the winter months is to join the Rochester Naturists in their monthly nude swim. This is a popular event that takes place inside a

25 centrally located gym in Rochester with a large swimming pool, 10-man hot tub, steam rooms and saunas, exercise machines and volley ball court. Rochester Naturists is a mixed group so this is not a male only event but nudity is mandatory. The first swim will take place in October. ROMANS members traditionally get together for a clothed dinner before each swim. This is a good opportunity for potential members to meet and greet some ROMANS members before joining. The swim and dinner schedule is on our website. ROMANS is a social club for gay and gay-friendly male nudists (or naturists) over 21. For more information, please check out our website at www.wnyromans.com. You can also contact the ROMANS at message line 585-281-4964, E-mail wnyromans@yahoo.com or via regular mail at PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692. ■

LORA The L.O.R.A. Coffee Social is held on Monday nights at 7 p.m. at Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Family,

Word of Mouth

“Mayor Tom Richards’ leadership on marriage, equality and transgender issues is outstanding. His administration has promoted our equality in hiring and has ensured that we have the first Trans inclusive policies in the State. Tom Richards has ensured Rochester will continue to lead this state and nation on issues of equality and fairness.” – Matt Haag, Rochester City Councilman “Mayor Tom Richards from day one has demonstrated his belief in full equality for all. He is a problem solver our City desperately needs in this critical time. Others may have talked about our issues. But Mayor Tom Richards gets results for the LGBT community. He has consistently stood by us. Now is the time for us to stand by him.” – Harry Bronson, New York State Assemblymember “We are grateful to Mayor Tom Richards for his leadership in fighting for marriage equality and for promoting the principle—in the work place and beyond —that all people are entitled to be treated with fairness, respect and equality.” – Bess Watts and Anne Tischer, Labor and Community Activists “I feel fortunate to have a Mayor, in Rochester, who supports equality for all LGBT people, who understands the challenges facing transgender people, who treats us with respect and I believe is genuinely committed to helping us to achieve our basic rights. Thank you Mayor Tom Richards for your leadership and support for transgender rights.” – Pamela Barres, Transgender Activist This ad is paid for by Tom Richards for Mayor. RichardsforMayor.com

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

The Avenue Pub 38 Year Landmark in the Gay Community

The Avenue Pub 522 Monroe Avenue 585-244-4960

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment On the Fringe: some highlights of this year’s Festival

Karl Rogers of Red Dirt Dance. Photo: Nick Fancher.

The Fringe Festival is back, presented by First Niagara. Here are just a few of the many, many performances scheduled for this month. Method Machine presents “Wing-Man”. Flying out of the sawdust and onto the one-person theatrical stage at the Rochester Fringe Festival, physical comedian and former Big Apple Circus clown Mark Gindick brings his one-man show “Wing-Man” to the 2013 Rochester Fringe Festival. Performances are Thursday, Sept. 26 at 9:30 p.m., Friday, Sept. 27 at 7 p.m., and Saturday, Sept. 28 at 1:30 and 7 p.m. in the Nextstage at Geva Theatre Center, 75 Woodbury Blvd. “Wing-Man” incorporates live social media without a single spoken word. Performer Mark Gindick physically and authentically builds a romantic relationship with the audience in the hot pursuit of ideal romantic love and intends, as a live theatrical artist, “to restore faith in the “world wide web” of comic humanity.” “Wing-Man” garnered the Best One-Man Show award at the United Solo Theatre Festival in New York City and in September will play the United Solo Theatre Festival Europe in Warsaw, Poland. “Wing-Man” is presented in partnership with Method Machine and The Next Little Big Thing Productions from NYC. In 2010, Mark Gindick was featured in the PBS’ six-part series “CIRCUS!,” which followed the Big Apple Circus around the country. He can be seen whipping it up with Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia,” and has appeared on “The Late Show with David Letterman” and “Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” Merged—a Dance Concert. Rochester based international dance artists James Hansen and

Heather Roffe will present a concert of choreography entitled “Merged-A Dance Concert” on Sept. 25 (6 p.m.), Sept. 27 (5:30 p.m.) and Sept. 28 (noon) at the Geva Theatre Center Nextstage. Tickets are $16 and available at the Geva box office or on-line at http://rochesterfringe.com/ shows/show/merged-a-danceconcert “Merged” blends physically exciting modern dance with visual art, pop culture, and theatre to produce a concert that is simultaneously thought provoking to seasoned dance viewers and accessible to first time audience members. The cutting edge choreography will be performers by Rochester’s most celebrated dancers and guest artists such as Sandy Lacy, former dancer with the Bill T. Jones Dance Compa-

ny in New York City and former Ballet Spokane Company member Vanessa VanWormer. Heather Roffe has performed nationally and internationally with Garth Fagan Dance Company and nationally in her own work at several New York City venues. She is also a collaborating director, performer, and choreographer with Rochester’s critically acclaimed FuturePointe Dance Company which regularly tours and performs across the country. She has been described as “One of the most dramatic and exciting dancers in our region.” (Democrat and Chronicle), “Cutting Edge” (City Newspaper) and “Striking” (npr.org). James Hansen had a 15-year career in NYC dancing with the Eglevsky Ballet and Sean Curran Dance Company. His choreography has received rave reviews including “A wonderful example of how much the human body can communicate.” (Backstage NY), “A thoughtful meditation on group dynamics.” (NY Times) “Breath taking” (Richmond Times Dispatch) and “mesmerizing” (Norfolk’s Portfolio Weekly). He has been produced by some of the most prestigious dance festivals including two years at Jacobs Pillow Dance Festival and at the International Dance Festival in Santiago, Chile. Included in the performance will be Hansen’s recent work “Stag Line” which premiered in the Pasadena Dance Festival in April 2013. This dance includes music by Shirley Bassey, Frank Sinatra and an original sound design featuring audio clips from the 1960’s sit-com “Bewitched”. Roffe’s work includes a world premiere of a new dance about fear and “profiling” and other repertory dances. This is Hansen and Roffe’s second collaborative dance concert in the Rochester region after selling out at Nazareth College Studio Theater in May 2013. Judah Leblang. MuCCC welcomes Boston-based writer/ storyteller Judah Leblang for a humorous look at life in middle

James Hansen’s “Tryst” from Merged – A Dance Concert.

age on Saturday, Sept. 21 at 2 p.m. at MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave., as part of the Fringe Festival. Leblang’s show, “One Man’s Journey through the Middle Ages,” is based on his recent memoir, Finding My Place, which chronicles his youth growing up in Cleveland, Ohio during the 1960s and ‘70s, his ongoing attachment to that gritty city and its unfortunate sports teams, and his life today as a gay, single, hard of hearing man in Boston.

27 Tickets are $10, and available at http://www.rochesterfringe.com The show explores Leblang’s misadventures in the gay mecca of Provincetown, Massachusetts during carnival week, an emotional trip to President Obama’s inauguration in 2009, and an episode of hearing loss, in which the author, a former teacher of deaf children and a sign language interpreter, suddenly lost most of the hearing in one ear. Leblang is returning to ( Fringe continues page 28)

Festival Fair kicks off 21st ImageOut season on Sept. 12 ImageOut, the Rochester LGBT Film Festival, will launch its 21st festival lineup at the sixth annual ImageOut Festival Fair on Thursday, Sept. 12, 6:30-9 p.m., at the Rochester Museum and Science Center’s Eisenhart Auditorium, 657 East Ave. This will be the general public’s first chance to learn about this year’s Festival lineup and purchase tickets prior to the start of online ticket sales. The evening will include hors d’oeuvres, a cash bar and trailers of this year’s festival. A free film program will commence at 8 p.m. with a 20 minute Programmers’ Preview of the 2013 Festival selections, followed by the Sundance Official Selection and Frameline Outstanding Documentary Award winner “Valentine Road.” The Fair and screenings are free and open to the public. The 21st ImageOut Film Festival will run from Oct. 11 to 20, and will feature a mixture of over 90 narrative features, documentaries and short films shown in three venues in Rochester (The Little Theatre, The Dryden Theatre at George Eastman House, and The Ingel Auditorium at the Rochester Institute of Technology). Single ticket prices will range from $7 to $15, with $2 in-person discounts for young adults 24 and younger and seniors 65 and older. Tickets for the festival can be purchased online at www. imageout.org from Sept. 15 through Oct. 10. The Festival Fair also offers the community the opportunity to interact with ImageOut committee members in programming, outreach, theatre operations, ticketing, special events and development. There are many opportunities for volunteering and Board and committee members, as well as newly hired Development Director John Williams, will be available at the Festival Fair to answer questions. Free special film programs are a part of the Festival Fair: 8 p.m. -- Programmer’s Pre-

view of the Fall Festival. Come hear the ImageOut Programming Committee preview their 2013 selections and offer the insider scoop on the edgiest, sexiest, funniest, most fabulous films that you will see this year. The Programming Committee has been working ‘round the clock and has traveled to festivals from San Francisco to Berlin to select this year’s best dramas, comedies, thrillers, documentaries, and shorts. Programmers will be happy to talk about their favorites and recommendations, between the exciting trailers for the 2013 Festival picks. 8:20 p.m. – “Valentine Road” directed by Marta Cunningham. ImageOut is very excited to offer this Festival Fair free screening of the award-winning documentary “Valentine Road.” Middle school is never an easy time of life: full of changes, cliques, hormones, and waves of powerful emotion. Transitioning from childhood to adolescence is even more difficult for kids who are transgendered. After years of suffering, young Larry King (who also goes by the name Letitia) finally finds love and confidence at Casa Pacifica, a sanctuary for abused children. Thriving in his new home, Larry begins applying makeup and donning spike heels, causing a commotion at E.O. Green Middle School. When Larry asks tough boy Brandon McInerney to be his valentine, Brandon’s jock buddies tease him mercilessly, and Brandon – also an abused teen – channels his deep humiliation into vengeance. Arriving in English class as the students work on a unit about Anne Frank and tolerance, Brandon shoots Larry twice in the back of the head. “Valentine Road” explores the aftermath of that tragic event on many levels. Riveting interviews, creative animated sequences, and an inspiring soundtrack (including Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ hit “Same Love”) combine to make this a must-see film.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Mark Gindick of “Wing-Man.”

( Fringe continued from page 27) MuCCC after a successful show in July. He has performed to sold-out audiences in Cambridge and Boston, Mass. and at various community centers, churches and synagogues in the Northeast and Midwest. The show has been called “poignant,” “rhythmic… his words and voice in synch,” and “totally engaging.” His readings and events have been featured in the Boston Globe, Cleveland Plain Dealer, (Boston) Jewish Advocate, Edge Publications, and in various gay publications. He is the author of the “Life in the Slow Lane” column for Bay Windows, Boston’s gay newspaper, and is a frequent contributor to The Health Show, produced by WAMC-radio in Albany, which is carried on more than 150 NPR and ABC-radio network stations around the US. His radio commentaries and true-life stories have been featured on New Hampshire Public Radio, WGBH radio in Boston, and on many other stations. Video clips and his radio pieces are on line at http://www.judahleblang.com.

Storyteller Judah Leblang.

Red Dirt Dance will premiere “The Goldilocks Score and Other Dances “at Geva Nextstage as part of the second annual Rochester Fringe Festival. The dance concert will feature a work by Paul Matteson, two by Karl Rogers and an ongoing investigation into improvisation as performance. Karl Rogers, Artistic Director of Red Dirt Dance, met Paul Matteson, formerly of the Bill T. Jones and Arne Zane Dance Company, when he was hired to take over Matteson’s roles in the David Dorfman Dance company. Ten years later the two remain close colleagues and will split a show in this year’s Rochester Fringe Festival Each dancer/choreographer will present a solo. Rogers’ Men I’d Like to Pillowfight was shown as part of The Metallic Series last spring and revels in the pleasure that comes from trying, but failing. He vividly illustrates moments from a queer childhood while a DIY youtube video broadcasts directions on gilding. Matteson’s new work Show Stoppers was previously performed at The Bates Dance Festival and the Amherst Art Series. Red Dirt Dance will also premiere “We Too

Cling,” a humorous melding of play, ‘80s pop music, and high art. This duet was inspired by a fictitious meeting of playwright Tennessee Williams and visual artist David Hockney. Red Dirt Dance will share “The Goldilocks Score and Other Dances,” Sept. 19 and 20 at Geva Theatre Center NextStage at 6 p.m. Tickets cost $16. Please visit reddirtdance.com and rochesterfringe.com for more information. ¡OLE! Federico Garcia Lorca: poet, romantic, believer. Salvador Dalí: painter, modernist, scientist. Their tumultuous love affair began in college and ended with Dalí’s flight to Paris, as Spain descended into civil war. Lorca stayed in Spain and was murdered by fascists. Theater in Asylum from NYC’s ¡OLE! takes you into the bullring as these two matadors pit magic against science through paint, poetry, and flamenco dance. Show Length: 70 minutes; Ticket Price: $11; Genre: Theatre; Venue: Blackfriars Theatre; Ages: 13+; Show Dates: Sept. 20, 21. BIG WIGS is a high-energy, Las Vegas-style show featuring Kasha Davis and Aggy Dune, who bring their deadon impressions to sold-out crowds everywhere. The fast-paced DIVAS OUR WAY includes all of your favorites: Cher, Tina Turner, Celine Dion, Liza Minnelli, Lady Gaga, Bette Midler and many more. Check out BIG WIGS’ gallery and videos at www.thebigwigsshow.com. Show Length: 60 minutes; Ticket Price: $15; Genre: Theatre; Venue: The TheatreROCS Stage at Xerox Auditorium; Ages: 17+; Show Dates: Sept. 20, 21, 28. Bill Evans Dance Company in Concert. Award-winning contemporary choreography and live music from the Eastman School of Music combine to create an experience that is eloquent, poetic, dynamic and highly entertaining. World-class artists perform Evans’ “Trio for Jamie” and “Octet for Jacquie” to Brahms’ piano quartet and string sextet; “Willow Bay” to David Sannella’s haunting commissioned score for strings; and “Field of Blue Children,” choreographed for Evans and the great American Ballet Theatre star Cynthia Gregory, performed to virtuoso flute improvisations. Brief commentary by Bill Evans. Show Length: 60 minutes; Ticket Price: $15; Genre: Dance; Venue: Eastman School of Music: New Rehearsal Hall; Ages: All Ages; Show Dates: Sept. 22. Everybody Dancing: The Interactivity Of Creativity And Innovation is a TED Talks-like, audience-participatory presentation and performance by RIT assistant professor in NTID’s Cultural and Creative Studies Department, Thomas Warfield. The dancer, singer, actor, choreographer, director, producer, educator, activist and poet will address the inspiration, creation and impact of dance and pedestrian movement on our daily lives. Show Length: 60 minutes; Ticket Price: Free; Genre: Performance Art; Venue: The Little Theatre; Ages: 5+; Show Dates: Sept. 28. Garth Fagan Dance: Witness a performance by world-renowned Garth Fagan Dance up close and personal in the company’s downtown Rochester studios. Now in its 43rd season, Garth Fagan Dance is “unfailingly original,” deems the New York Times. The dancers communicate with unbridled energy the depth, precision and grace of Tony-award-winning choreographer Garth Fagan’s work. Show Length: 60 minutes; Ticket Price: $16; Genre: Dance; Venue: Garth Fagan Dance Studio; Ages: All Ages; Show Dates: Sept. 19, 20, 21, 26, 27, 28. TheatreROCS represents the best of live theatre in Rochester, so if you’re seeking a free glimpse at greatness – look no further! The TheatreROCS Showcase will provide a living collage of dynamic talent hosted by two of Rochester’s most beloved personalities: Kasha Davis and Aggy Dune. Show Length: 120 minutes; Ticket Price: Free; Genre: Theatre; Venue: The TheatreROCS Stage at Xerox Auditorium; Ages: 13+; Show Dates: Sept. 20.

Albert Nocciolino.

RBTL marks 30th season: an interview with Albert Nocciolino By Susan Jordan It’s the Rochester Broadway Theatre League’s 30th Broadway season. Producer/presenter Albert Nocciolino spoke with The Empty Closet about how he came to work with RBTL and how the shows are chosen, as well as the amazing support the RBTL has received for three decades from the Rochester community. Nocciolino said, “I’ve been involved in the entertainment business professionally since my college days at University of Pennsylvania, although my original inspiration, at least for Broadway, probably came as a result of working as an usher at a theatre during my high school years. “After graduating from Penn, I came back to where I grew up, to Binghamton, NY. It was there that I helped in opening the arena, and renovating the theatre. It was also there that I booked my first show, at age 24. After getting a call from a booking agent named Rich Martini, who would eventually become a dear friend, I decided to take a chance, and totally on my own, presented Charlie’s Aunt, starring Vincent Price and Roddy McDowell. “The experience was successful enough that shortly thereafter, I booked my second show, Man of La Mancha, which starred David Atkinson. From there, I added a few more shows, and started presenting in some other cities, such as Elmira, Scranton, Erie -- and eventually founded my company, NAC Entertainment.” Nocciolino began a partnership with RBTL, but first he worked with the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra. He said, “I already had four or five markets and was looking to add a few more when I was approached sometime, I think in 1981 or ‘82, by the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra’s Executive Director, Tony DeChario. Their partnership with another presenter had ended, and they were interested in continuing to present non-orchestra productions at the time. I was very interested, and a year or so later, we kicked off a four- show season with Gigi, starring Louis Jourdan, at the Eastman Theatre. Eventually, when the RPO would refocus their efforts to concentrate solely on the orchestra, the RBTL was ‘reborn’. Thus began what has now become a thirty year partnership with RBTL.” RBTL fans love their access to the latest touring Broadway productions, which have included The Lion King, Hairspray, Shrek, Wicked, Avenue Q, Young Frankenstein and many more hits. They often wonder how shows are selected. “Oh that’s a long process, very involved,” Nocciolino said, “but it primarily begins with a combination of two things. Obviously, the success of what is playing on Broadway predetermines what tours. Second, and probably more important, knowing our subscribers and what they like, then combining those

two things to try and satisfy their tastes, is the goal. I can tell you that people in Rochester are very theatre savvy -- they know what’s out there, what’s getting good reviews. On one hand, this helps make it easier for us to determine what we choose, but it also creates pressure to deliver! Clearly, what we book is what’s been successful, so Broadway is where it all truly begins. “In addition to this, we do have a few other specific objectives. We want to always present a ‘family’ show; one that’s going to appeal to a wide age range. This is so important for us in developing our future audiences. Also, we try to present something that’s not a necessarily a traditional style Broadway style show. Shows like Jersey Boys, Spring Awakening and this year’s Rain, Rock of Ages and American Idiot. While these shows are not typical traditional Broadway style shows, they are hugely popular on Broadway and on the road, and we want to deliver that.” Nocciolino says he has two favorite musicals: A Chorus Line and Les Miserables. Nocciolino has often produced and presented Tony award winners. The Empty Closet ran a story on Kinky Boots getting a Tony this year, and many readers hope to see the gay-themed musical by Harvey Fierstein and Cyndi Lauper here in Rochester someday. “Yes, as with every show that is successful on Broadway, our goal is to bring it to Rochester, as soon as it tours,” Nocciolino said. “My having a producing interest in this show helps in the decision making process, for sure. Being a producer on any Tony Award winning show brings an entirely different level of interest and influence in determining the tour schedule. As both a producer, and presenter, it helps with the vantage point, no question.” He added, “What’s very extraordinary, and something that I don’t think gets enough credit, is the tremendous support that we’ve had from the Rochester community for over 30 years. To have over 120,000 people annually come to the Auditorium Theatre to see Broadway shows is absolutely terrific. Our subscribers and our single ticket buyers are among the most enthusiastic audiences out there on the road. “Even as our economy has wavered over the past several years, and thankfully now continues to rebound, we’ve witnessed Rochesterians and theatre-goers from the surrounding communities continue to support live theatre in growing numbers. That is nothing short of amazing to me. “I’m also very thankful that there is a Rochester based organization, the RBTL, that is willing to play a role in all of that. I’m very proud of my 30-year partnership with RBTL. It is indeed one which is based very much on mutual respect and friendship and I’m gratified to be part of that, and by extension, part of the Rochester community. I’m so happy to be celebrating and sharing this special 30th anniversary year together with them.”

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

“Glee” may move from TV to Broadway By Daniel O’Carroll on gaystarnews.com America’s hit TV musical-comedy “Glee” could be making the move from high school corridors to the sidewalks of Broadway with talks of a live stage musical. According to The Hollywood Reporter, co-head of television network Fox Gary Newman announced the plans for a stage musical during a shareholders presentation. “We launched a live stage business with a sold-out arena concert tour in 2011, and now a live stage musical is in the works,” Newman said. It seems like the next logical step for the musical-based phenomenon, with the news following the recent revelation by Fox’s Entertainment president Kevin Reilly, who revealed the show would likely bow out after the sixth season. Rumors of a stage adaptation have been floating around for a while now with Broadway.com reporting in 2010 Glee’s co-creator Ryan Murphy had mentioned a Broadway version was “definitely” happening. If the recent talks are anything to go by then Murphy was “definitely” on to something. With the inclusion of original songs cropping up in the TV series since season two, it seems like the waters have constantly been tested for the success of original Broadway numbers -- or will Broadway gain just another jukebox musical? Despite “Glee” having a host of Broadway veterans in the cast, no announcement has been made as to whether or not the series regulars will make a stage appearance. No official details about the production have been made.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/glee-become-live-stage-musical-broadway130813#sthash.OoFvvokL. dpuf ■

Wear white at Trillium’s White Party, Sept. 7 Rochester’s White Party, a fundraising event to benefit Trillium Health (formerly AIDS Care), will return to the historic Century Club of Rochester located at 566 East Ave. on Sept. 7. The event will begin at 7 p.m. and will include musical entertainment, food, drinks, and auction items. Chris and Lisa Cove, longtime supporters of Trillium Health, are honorary chairs alongside James Wolk and William M. Valenti M.D., co-founder and staff physician. “HIV has not gone away and neither has the White Party,” says Valenti. “Last year’s event was a huge success for both Trillium Health and the Rochester community. We plan on making it even bigger and better this September.” This year’s entertainment will include Krypton 88, Trinidad and Tobago Steel Drum Band, drag performances, and music by DJ Naps (Mike Napoli). Funds raised will benefit comprehensive medical care, including HIV specialty care and research, as well as new programs such as LGBT and women’s health. Guests should wear their best white attire for this elegant evening. Tickets and event sponsorships are currently available for purchase. For more information or to purchase tickets for Rochester’s White Party, visit Trillium Health’s website at: www.TrilliumHealthNY.org. For current updates on event details, visit the official website: www.RochestersWhiteParty.com ■

Travel

Adirondacks Road Trip Part 2 By Merle Exit The day begins with the Adirondack Museum in Blue Mountain Lake. There are over 20 structures thus warranting at least a half day taking in the history, structures, lifestyle, flora, non-human creatures and overall “lay of the land” that include activities for both adults and children. There is a café with both hot and cold foods with windows that overlook…yes, the lake. www.adkmuseum.org We later make our way to The Hedges, a resort camp located at a different area of Blue Mountain Lake. With twelve and half acres, this historic site goes back to 1880. With much renovation, accommodations are set in four lodges and various sized cabins with a cook-to-order breakfast and full dinner served in the Dining Lodge. Enjoy fishing, boating, a beach, game room or simply relaxing in the middle of the woods. Owner Pat Benson insists on giving back to the military with a Wounded Warrior stay in a cabin that is handicapped accessible. A week to include meals is given gratis for up to a family of four and you do not have to be in need of a wheelchair. www.thehedges.com We head to Raquette Lake, the location of Great Camp Sagamore. Part of the tour takes you to the work buildings, including those where they make items that relate more toward the needs of the “resort”, but check the gift shop. As this is a “great camp”, don’t expect to be staying at a hotel with all of the amenities. No smoking, no pets, no maid service, no telephones in the rooms or cell service, no TV and no hard liquor. Most of the accommodations have shared baths and bunk beds. All meals are served buffet

style. www.greatcampsagamore.org To get an even better perspective of Raquette Lake, we scheduled a cruise on the W. W. Durant. The boat cruise is a family owned and run company known as Raquette Lake Navigation, with dad as the captain, son as a bona fide CIA graduate chef, daughters and mom (Donna Pohl) handling everything else. You are given a map to follow the sites (many of which are camps) pointed out by the captain. www.raquettelakenavigation.com. Next destination is Tupper Lake to visit the Wild Center. I heard about the otter exhibit. This was a must for me… oh. If only I can pet one. As it turns out these particular creatures are sea otters, different from the ones that you see lying on their backs and pulling their food apart. Time was spent inside the center with films, a pond with turtles and ducks, a series of fish, and a look at some “wild” history representing the Adirondacks. www.wildcenter.org We check into the Ledge Rock Inn in at Whiteface Mountain. The appearance gives it a two-story motel look, but there is a lot more to it. A “Great Room” is a gathering place with amenities that include a big screen TV, movies, board games, and pool table. Outdoors is a pool, BBQ areas and some fabulous views of Whiteface Mountain. Rooms are cozy, comfortable and clean with a small fridge and microwave. www.ledgerockatwhiteface.com Heading for Ausable Chasm, we stop to visit North Star Underground Railroad Museum. An introduction to the tour commences with a film called “The Forgotten Story of John Thomas” and continues by viewing boards with written displays relating the history of this North Eastern movement. www.northcountryundergroundrailroad.com. More to come. ■

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“True Blood” actresses join NOH8 campaign By Stacy Lambe, out.com Vamps, witches and Arlene show pride… On Aug. 18, the sixth season of HBO’s “True Blood” came to a close (with a few surprises like Alexander Skarsgard’s full frontal). While fans make sense of the last episode, we look back on the cast’s participation in the NOH8 campaign. Over the years, tons of celebrities have posed for Adam Bouska in support of marriage, gender and human equality and the show’s cast is no different. Above: vampire Pam (Kristin Bauer VanStraten).

The Gay Alliance Library & Archives Hours: Every Wednesday: 6-8pm Tuesdays & Thursdays: 1-3pm 875 E. Main Street, First Floor 585-244-8640

The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD) The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at: www.GayAlliance.org

Gay alliance news for september 2013

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Gay Alliance Volunteerof-the-Month: Lance McPhee Congratulations to Lance McPhee for being our Volunteer-of-the-Month! Lance came on the scene at the Gay Alliance as a 2012 Pride volunteer. Since that time he has volunteered at the SAGE Picnic, Fall Rainbow Dance, the Red Ball, the Big Gay Prom and the Gay Alliance Library and Archive bookshelf move. He has always been a reliable volunteer who is willing to jump in and offer help wherever it is needed, but during Roc Pride 2013 Lance really wowed us! He was at the Festival site all day Friday, all day Saturday and Sunday morning. He then continued his volunteer work on Sunday afternoon at the Pride Picnic, putting in a total of 35 hours of volunteer work over the weekend, much of it including very hard labor! One might think that the Monday after Pride we would find Lance lying flat on his back on his couch popping Ibuprofen like m&m’s, but lo and behold, there he was again at the Gay Alliance office helping us move our Pride equipment back into storage in the basement. We are so grateful for Lance and his dedication and commitment. On behalf of the Roc Pride Committee Members and the Gay Alliance Staff and Board, we thank him for all of his help during Pride and throughout the year.

Volunteer Appreciation event is Sept. 24 at the Bachelor Forum Dear Exceptional Gay Alliance Volunteers! Please accept our invitation to the 2013 Volunteer Appreciation Happy Hour Event which will take place on Tuesday, Sept. 24 from 5-7 p.m. at the Bachelor Forum (670 University Ave.) as a way for us to thank you for all of the time and energy that you have given the Gay Alliance this past year. Peter Mohr, owner of the Bachelor Forum, has generously offered pizza and a free drink to all of our excellent volunteers. Please RSVP by Thursday, Sept. 19. Hope to see you there! Jeanne

Gay Alliance offers SafeZone Train-theTrainer Workshop The Gay Alliance has received numerous requests for our SafeZone Trainthe-Trainer Workshop from colleges and organizations in New York State, as well as from around the country. Jeanne Gainsburg, Gay Alliance Outreach Coordinator, and Scott Fearing, Gay Alliance Executive Director, join forces to bring you this fast-paced, dynamic and informational training. Jeanne and Scott

4 of the Genesee Valley

Empowering pride for 40 years

have worked together for seven years, building the successful Gay Alliance Education Programs, including our SafeZone Training. Last year the Gay Alliance ran nearly 50 SafeZone trainings as part of our almost 200 presentations. The workshop will take place on Friday, Oct. 25 at the Red Cross (50 Prince St.) in Rochester from 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. This is a full day program created to develop confident, knowledgeable and effective SafeZone trainers, who can develop and maintain sustainable SafeZone Programs on college campuses and in workplaces to create environments that are culturally competent and supportive to LGBT individuals. The SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Program is an interactive course, which includes activities, small group discussions and opportunities for practicing skills as educators. Topics covered include Educational Philosophy and How We Learn; Suggested Exercises for Increasing Knowledge; Suggested Exercises for

relevant and interesting material. Just very well done, all in all. Excellent.” “Enlightening, empowering and entertaining The presenters’ command of the subject is truly evident. I felt in the hands of experts. The humor and positive relationship between the two was a treat.” “Went by in the blink of an eye! I would have stayed another whole day! Thank you for offering this awesome training!” “A wonderful experience that everyone should be a part of. A really nice job! Very glad I attended!”

The Rainbow Ride: A Dream Come True

Taking Action; Encouraging Dialogue; Empowering the Straight/Cisgender Ally; Answering Questions Effectively; Tips For Successful Trainings; Creating Sustainable SafeZone Programs on Campus and in the Workplace. During this course, participants will be coached in running SafeZone trainings and offered opportunities to ask and answer questions in a supportive environment using the teaching skills that they acquire. Each participant will receive a SafeZone Training manual that will provide a complete course guide for running SafeZone Trainings, a review of material from the course, additional reading to extend knowledge and handouts to use in future SafeZone Trainings. Ongoing support will be available to all participants through the Gay Alliance following the presentation, to offer assistance and suggestions for keeping programs fresh and up-to-date. Registration fee is $125, which includes lunch and a SafeZone Training manual. Please register online at: http://goo. gl/9CX7up. ASL interpretation available if requested before Sept. 30. For questions or concerns contact Jeanne at jeanneg@ gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 14. Feedback From Our Most Recent Training “This workshop was an invaluable chance for open, honest discussion. The presenters were able, with humor and passion, to present material from an informed and yet very personal perspective. Thank you so much! More people need training opportunities like this!” “Informative, thought provoking, very educational. You can see the wealth of knowledge and passion in both presenters.” “Worth every minute. Excellent combo of activities, well-timed breaks, extremely

By Jeanne Gainsburg, Gay Alliance Outreach Coordinator My favorite moment of Roc Pride 2013 was not twirling down Park Ave as the Wizard of Oz Twister in the Pride Parade. Although that was a blast! Nor was it that moment when I turned the corner on my way to get more ice for the volunteer water cooler, and was halted in my tracks by the unbelievable crowd at the Pride Festival. Amazing! It was the Rainbow Ride. The Rainbow Ride took place on Friday, July 19 and was a way of honoring the Ride For Pride bikers, support crew and sponsors who raised over $22,000 in June for the Gay Alliance. It was also the opening ceremony for Pride that I have been envisioning for years and seeing it come to life gave me goose bumps! The Rainbow Riders left from the Gay Alliance, rode in rainbow formation from red to purple, through the streets of Rochester, past the Bachelor Forum, Boulder Coffee on Park Ave, Jines, 140 Alex, Equal Grounds and Tony D’s on Corn Hill Landing, then down Court Street to Manhattan Square Park where an impressive crowd was waiting for us to kick off the Rainbow Flag Ceremony. I was in red at the front, waving at cars and greeting passersby with “Happy Pride!” As the lead rider, I was usually met with a blank stare. I imagined the cartoon “?” over people’s heads as they tried to figure out what I was doing. By the time the green and blue riders were passing, how-

Youth Gay Alliance Youth Program

The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun! For information: 585 244-8640 or www.gayalliance. org/events/youth Gay Alliance Community Center Auditorium Theater Bldg, 875 E. Main Street, 1st Floor Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: 585 244-8640

ever, I could hear cars honking and people yelling “Happy Pride” back at the riders. Our last rider wore white. Toronto Pride runs a white float in their Pride Parade to represent all the countries where they cannot celebrate pride for fear of violence. I was moved by the idea and decided my final rider should wear white to represent all the people in the world who cannot show their true colors. The event was made even more wonderful as the final rider in white was my son, Hayden. As we came over the Ford Street Bridge I turned and got a full view of all 30 riders from red to purple, and finally white. The riders included my son, my husband and a ton of my closest friends. It was exactly as I had pictured it and no other moment during Pride weekend could top it. As we entered Manhattan Square Park, we handed a rainbow windsock to the Pride Performance Ensemble Color Guard who then began their show under the 50-foot rainbow flag that had been donated to the Gay Alliance by the wonderful folks at Outlandish. It was a beautiful opening ceremony. I hope the Rainbow Ride, and our rider in white, will become an annual tradition at Roc Pride. Thank you again to all our Ride For Pride bikers, support crew and sponsors for turning the Rainbow Ride into a reality Shift Happens!

Summer Presentations 6/12: LGBT 101 at Corning Community College 6/20: LGBT Issues in Health Care at Dayton VA Medical Center 6/26: Transgender Issues in Social Work at Rochester Out Patient VA Clinic 6/27: Transgender Issues in Social Work at Strong Memorial Hospital 7/11: LGBT Issues in Social Work at GRC MSW Program 7/26: Transgender Basics at Corning, Inc. 8/8: Transgender Issues in Medicine at Rochester VA Out Patient Clinic 8/17: LGBT 101 at Coalition of Black Trade Unionists Statewide Conference 8/21: Who’s Who Panel at SUNY Brockport 8/21: SafeZone Training at SUNY Brockport 8/22: SafeZone Training at Eastman School of Music 8/28: LGBT Panel Presentation at Monroe #1 BOCES Dignity Act Coordinators

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Web: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Board Co-Presidents: Emily Jones, Bruce Gorman Acting Executive Director: Scott Fearing Director of Intergenerational Programs: Kelly Clark Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg Database: Kat Wiggall Book keeper: Christopher Hennelly The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for september 2013

SAGE PAGE Sage returns to Artisan Works

Thursday, September 12

NO YOGA TODAY Lunch 11:30 a.m. Let’s all go to the MAG, that is, The Memorial Art Gallery. We will be taking a tour and lunch can be bought at Tapas or bring a brown bag lunch. Lunch will be 11:30-12:30 and the tour begins at 12:45 p.m. There is a $4 fee for the tour. Please sign up at the senior center and let Jessica know if you have any special needs at Jessica at SAGE@GayAlliance.org. To learn more about the Memorial Art Gallery go to http://mag.rochester.edu/

Just walk in the door at Artisan Works, 565 Blossom Road in Rochester, and you will never forget it. Be sure to join us on Sunday, Sept. 8 as Rainbow Sage visits Artisan Works. Come and check out tons of art in every format you can think of. See the Marilyn Monroe or the Frank Lloyd Wright rooms. Check out the old-time firehouse, complete with a fire truck. The art is all around you. Space is limited so sign-up is required. You can sign up at the Senior Center or contact Jessica at SAGE@GayAlliance.org.

Coffee & Conversation

Do you like to drink coffee, have a pastry and talk with friends? Then be sure to mark your calendar for Coffee & Conversation with Rainbow Sage. The date is Tuesday, Sept. 17 and the time is 6:30–8:30 p.m. The location is Equal Grounds at 760 South Ave. Our host will be our new volunteer Jessica Gibson. This is a great opportunity for new people to come and check us out. Come on in and you are sure to find us, we will be the group having fun. See you then!

Rainbow Sage welcomes Dignity-Integrity Rochester

Rainbow Sage is looking for ways to make connections and we are starting with a dinner to welcome Dignity-Integrity Rochester on Sunday, Sept. 15 at 6:30 p.m. The dinner will take place at the senior center. What is Dignity-Integrity all about? As lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and inter-sexed persons of faith, together with our families and friends, we formed a small faith community with regional and national connections in the struggle for justice in church and society. Dignity-Integrity/Rochester (D-I/R) was chartered in 1975 as the first combined chapter of the national organizations of Dignity/ USA (Roman Catholic) and Integrity, Inc. (Episcopal). Many of us call D-I home, feeling Program Partner

Tuesday, September 17

Audet Price prepares lunch at the Annual SAGE Picnic on Aug. 24. Photo: John Fudalik

unwelcome, unsafe or un-affirmed in our home churches. All of us belong as a prophetic challenge to those in authority and as a ministry to those who have felt wounded or abandoned by organized religion. Our fellowship is a vital witness to all that our lives and loves are whole and holy. Be sure to join us on Sept.15 for this time of fellowship. For more information on Dignity-Integrity Rochester, go to http://www.dirochester.org/index.html.

The Story Of Greta (1998 – 2013)

By Roza Eisenman (mother to Greta) It is difficult to start a story of loss -- but I know as I begin, it will be a soothing experience telling about the kitty, Greta, who was a part of my life for 15 years. She was a British Shorthair, dark gray, that particular breed being very mellow and homey, a little shy, very loving once she got to know you and very sweet. As my friend Linda explains, “She was kind and loving, the best kitty anybody would want”. Linda took her death pretty hard. She accompanied me to the Animal Shelter. That was probably the hardest part of saying goodbye. Some people opt to leave their pets behind or have them cremated. I am glad we decided to keep Greta and place her body next to my apartment in a little garden area. She will always be here with me, as I lay on my couch, she is just on the other side of the brick wall. Greta had a beautiful life with

me. I took extra special care of her the last year of her life. Instead of hiding under the bed or being “invisible”... she would come out more often to eat, use her litter box and cuddle with me. She needed attention and, in her own way, was saying good-bye to me. I actually wanted to “keep her going” when it looked like she was getting frailer and losing weight. She was definitely a fighter. I saw her hop into the litter box, taking quick steps because her hind legs were becoming weaker, and always she would make it. I could go on and on about Greta. But I just want to leave this obit/story in mid-air... because really, there is no end to this story.

SAGE Calendar September 2013 Tuesday, September 3 No Program – Labor Day

Thursday, September 5

Yoga 11-11:30 a.m. Lunch 12 noon – PICNIC DAY. Please bring a dish to pass. GAGV will be providing the meat and drink. The location will be decided that day so the yoga folks can join us. Please be at the center by noon.

Tuesday, September 10

Yoga 11-11:30 a.m. Lunch 12 noon. Papa Gig’s Food Truck will be out in the parking lot. It is known as “Rochester’s Italian Kitchen on Wheels”. Afterwards we will be playing a game that will help us get to know each other better.

Yoga 11-11:30 a.m. Lunch 12 noon. It’s Game Day and lunch will be provided by GAGV. Thanks GAGV for all that you do, we really appreciate it.

Thursday, September 19

Yoga 11-11:30 a.m. It’s Movie Day so bring a brown bag lunch and snacks to share with the group for during the movie. It is movie roulette – bring your favorite movie and we will vote on the one we want to see and then watch it as a group. If this works, we hope to make it a monthly event.

Tuesday, September 24

Yoga 11-11:30 a.m. Lunch 12 noon. How does your garden grow? It is a potluck (bring a dish to pass) and garden exchange. Bring fruits and veggies to exchange with others or bring seeds to share and grow. We will have a speaker on gardening too. Bring your green thumb!

Thursday-Saturday September 26-28 No Yoga

The Big LGBT Community Rummage Sale

A fundraiser to support Rainbow SAGE programs! Donate items for the sale, then come and purchase items! Watch the SAGE and Gay Alliance Facebook pages for drop off times, shopping hours and other details. Please Note: All programs are subject to change. We will do our best to notify everyone of changes. We encourage car pooling, but participants are responsible for their own transportation. We will meet at the location of the events unless otherwise stated.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar). Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Senior Center Tues/Thurs 11am-3pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor, 244-8640; SAGE@ gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27. Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529. Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance. Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org. 1 West Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income HIV positive clients. No criminal cases. Appointments are scheduled at area medical provider locations or by calling 295-5708. Trillium Health Trillium Health is the leading provider of HIV/ AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. Satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. Trillium Health is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www.trilliumhealthny.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200, Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay. Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520. MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400. Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 9625063. Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to

public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care. Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon. 315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. Trillium Health See www.trilliumhealthny.org

HCR Home Care

We provide a full multidisciplinary team consisting of nursing, social work, physical, occupational, and speech therapies as well as home health aides who have completed the eight-hour cultural competency program provided by the Gay Alliance. For more information, contact us at 585-272-1930 or visit us online at HCRhealth.com. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

TRANSGENDER

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org.1 West Main St. Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income clients seeking a name change. Other legal services for low-income clients include family law issues, bankruptcy, unemployment insurance hearings, wills and advance directive documents for clients with serious illnesses. Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7:30pm, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St. 1st floor. Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women’s health Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs, support services free. Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Mondays

L.O.R.A. – Coffee Special Monday Nights – 7 pm, Equal Grounds. Family, Friends & Allies Welcome! Contact Person: Cathie Timian. More info: www.l-o-r-a.com; Email: info@l-o-r-a.com

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. Free syphilis testing Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, Trillium Health Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds. 426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Tuesdays

L.O.R.A. – Knitters Group Everyone Welcome! 3rd Tuesday of the Month. 7pm – 10pm. FREE. Cross Roads Coffeehouse, 752 South Goodman St. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email:ctimian @l-o-r-a.com; Website: www.l-o-r-a.com

Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org. Rainbow SAGE Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesdays Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave. Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 BrightonHenrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552. Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880

COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com. Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Wednesdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursdays

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Gay Alliance Youth Thursdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Coming Out Being Out Youth Support Group 6:30-7:30pm; ages 13-18 Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7pm, Ages 13-18, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com

Rainbow SAGE Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor.

FRIDAYs

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

SATURDAYs

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org. Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, Youth Center, 875 E. Main, 1st floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sundays

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) Third Sundays, 1-3 pm, Community Center at the Gay Alliance, first floor, 857 E. Main St. 244-8460; pflag@gayalliance.org.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion. Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

GAY ALLIANCE VOLUNTEER APPRECIATION NIGHT! If you volunteered for the Gay Alliance in 2013, you are invited to the Big Appreciation Night get-together, September 24, 5 to 7pm at the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. Enjoy pizza and a free drink! Please RSVP by Thursday, September 19.

We hope to see you there!

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013

September SUNDAY 1

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Service followed by Labor Day picnic.

SATURDAY 7

White Party benefitting Trillium Health. Century Club of Rochester, 566 East Ave. 7 pm. Featuring live musical entertainment by Krypton 88 and Trinidad and Tobago Steel Drum Band, drag performances, music by DJ Naps, food, drinks and auction items. Wear white! For more information or to purchase tickets, visit website at: www.TrilliumHealthNY. org. For current updates on event details, visit the official website: www.RochestersWhiteParty.com

SUNDAY 8

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 10

Primary day. Get OUT and vote!

THURSDAY 12

Out & Equal Second Thursdays networking. 5:30-7:30 pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. ImageOut Festival Fair. Free. First opportunity to buy tickets for October Festival – they sell out fast! 6:30-9:30 pm, Eisenhart Auditorium, Museum & Science Center, 657 East Ave. Cash bar, complimentary hors d’oeuvres in Palm Court Lounge. Programmers’ Preview, 8 pm; “Valentine Road” 8:20 pm.

SATURDAY 14

LGBT conference, Chautauqua Institute, Chautauqua NY. Workshops, “Gen

Silent” screening, Buffalo Gay Men’s Chorus concert. $30 general, $25 seniors, students; includes dinner, reception. For more information and to purchase tickets, see Rainbowprideconnection.net.

SUNDAY 15

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MONDAY 16

Empty Closet deadline for October issue. 244-9030; susanj@gayalliance.org.

SUNDAY 22

Autumn equinox Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 24

Gay Alliance Volunteer Appreciation. 5-7 pm at Bachelor Forum (670 University Ave.) Pizza, free drink.

FRIDAY 27

Let’s Meet. Women’s social group. Genesee Brewery Restaurant, 6:30 pm. RSVP to Ramona, 585-490-1424.

SUNDAY 29

Dignity Integrity. Special presentation on transgender issues. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Shoulders To Stand On Producer’s Premiere. First screening of documentary feature film on Rochester’s LGBT history, pre-Stonewall to present day. Dryden Theatre of George Eastman House, 900 East Ave. Doors open 3:30 pm; screening 4 pm. Reception follows – meet activist pioneers featured in the film. $40. Tickets available at www.gayalliance.org. ■

Classifieds Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30am. info@openarmsmcc. org (585) 271-8478. Cash paid for CDs, DVDs & BluRays. Highest prices in Rochester. Free pick up. Call 465-8643.

SERVICES

Man to Man Rubdown. Relax with this experienced, fit, healthy. middle-aged, non-smoking GWM. Central location. Private home. Incalls/outcalls. Reasonable rates. cell#585-773-2410 or home#585235-6688 or email:magichands@rochester.rr.com Ask questions. Established life coach opens your direction about goals, questions, issues using classic tarot symbology and fascinating, confidential discussion. $65 hr. in your home/office. kivawyandotte@gmail.com Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478. Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small.

Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interior & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304517-6832. Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting and Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year-round and gutter cleaning in the spring or fall. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com. Martin Ippolito master electrician. Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585-266-6337.

ROOMMATE/ HOUSEMATE WANTED

Looking for housemate to share large suburban home. Off street parking, internet, cable, telephone, hot tub, furnished private bedroom. All included in the rent. 266-4582.

FOR SALE OR RENT

Two-bedroom available Oct. 1. Single occupancy, lease required. Bright, spacious, quiet, nice neighborhood, hardwoods, built-ins, non-smoking. Rent includes heat, AC, off street parking. Onsite laundry, tons of storage. $900/ month. $900 deposit. Call 709-0876 for more info. ■

SEPTEMBER 2013 • number 471 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Bed & Breakfast

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas. Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney. Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester, NY 14624 from 1 to 3pm. Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org - Join us!

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 471 • SEPTEMBER 2013