Empty Closet, September 2018

ISSUE #526

Sept_ 2 0 1 8

I P, HONORING MENTORSH N I T Y, COMMU

and inspiration with C O M P E E R R OCHESTER,

G IV I N G

G.R.E.A

. T. ,

BACK PARTNER S IN RES TORATIV E INITIA TIVES, SHANE ORTEGA ,

and so much more!

is a proud member of:

– –

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C L O S E T | September 2018 | 3

FEATURES 7

ROWAN COLLINS Editor rowanc@outalliance.org T_ 585-244-8640 x12 DAVE KYLE Advertising davek@outalliance.org T_585-244-9030

COMPEER ROCHESTER

Our cover story sheds light on stigma, mental health, and the Compeer Rochester model of intentional friendship

ALAN ALTMAN Graphic Design www.A3-Design.com

Issue printed by:

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A bowling gem that gives back in BIG ways each year, learn more about the Great Rochester Eastern Area Tournament and their commitment to local LGBTQ+ causes

THE OUT ALLIANCE 100 College Avenue Rochester New York 14607 Monday & Friday 9am–5pm Tuesday–Thursday 9am­–8pm T_

585. 244. 8640 585. 244. 8246 E_ info@outalliance.org www.outalliance.org F_

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OUT IN PRINT

Blame It On Bianca Del Rio:

BLACK PRIDE RECAP

SHANE ORTEGA

“I am multitudes, I am a limitless person”. Ortega sat down with the EC to share his story and work beyond the military.

REGULARS

The Out Alliance works to be champions for LGBTQ+ life and culture. We strive to ensure that all members of the LGBTQ+ communities, at all stages of their lives, are free to be fully participating citizens, living lives in which they are safe, stable and fully respected.

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30

G.R.E.A.T. BOWLING

4 10 12 16 17 17 32 36 38

“...the unique flavor, voice, aesthetic & experience of the Black Queer/LGBT of Color Community...” A recap of August’s incredible Roc Black Pride events

FROM THE EDITOR ALLIANCE NEWS COM M UNITY PROFILE SAGE NEWS GNAW ROCS OUT AND ABOUT CALENDAR THE SCENE KYLES B&B

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

September’s issue

is one that spans a lot of categories. We had the great fortune to interview and cover local organizations that are truly committed to caring, like Compeer Rochester (p7) and Partners in Restorative Initiatives (p33), community members that are achieving great new heights, like Justin Hubbell (p30, crucial events and gatherings, like Rochester Black Pride (p26), and opportunities to give back, like G.R.E.A.T bowling (p12 )and RISE Brunch (p14).

It can be challenging to look forward each month and write letters for a month that is, in some ways, far off but always right around the corner. I am reminded each September of the seasons beginning to change. How fortunate we are to live in a part of the country that visibly shows you change. Leaves, air, and sky let you know in small ways each day that change is inevitable.

The only consistent thing we have is inconsistence. It is in that discomfort that we grow, both as individuals and as community.

I want to take a moment to recognize the tenacity and growth I have witnessed from our community in response

to one of our LGBTQ+ spaces closing, seemingly without warning. Though many said the writing was on the wall, seeing the fall-out from the end of drag shows and swift closure of Tilt Nightclub was a tough sight to see. In moments --not days -- community rallied behind performers and a renewed sense of vivacity and enthusiasm was borne overnight.

It is that same tenacity and growth that sees the opening of a new Community Center (p10) that will bring greater capacity to serve our community; all ages, identities, and abilities.

The fall is always a time of change in Rochester, and for the Alliance. Last year we even went so far as to change our name. With our 4th Annual RISE Brunch, Community Center opening, and exciting new endeavors for our LGBTQ Academy, our plate may be full enough yet. Let’s see where the season takes us.

ROWAN COLLINS Editor

CONTRIBUTORS

FIONA JONES is a rising senior at the University of Rochester majoring in computer science and studio art with a concentration in linguistics. She was the Communications Intern with the Out Alliance this summer and currently runs the social media accounts.

LORI CRAMER is the Out Alliance Administrative Assistant and recent graduate of Nazareth College. In her free time, you can find Lori at outdoor summer concerts, festivals, and taste testing beer around Rochester. She hopes to dedicate her life’s work towards LGBTQ+ activism.

REID WILSON is a rising senior at the University of Rochester majoring in creative writing and minoring in music.

They are an award-winning playwright and a classically-trained vocalist. When not in classes or clubs, they enjoy playing Dungeons & Dragons with their friends.

ANNE TISCHER is the Out Alliance Outreach Coordinator and retired social services worker. You may also recognize Anne and her wife Bess as long-time local “accidental activists” who bring the best signs to every rally.

REILLY HIRST foodie from age 7 (when she sautéed zucchini in butter and dill), has lived in many good places to eat: Cape Cod, San Diego, the Bay Area, Portland.

Now in Rochester, she believes that what you taste now is the beginning of a renewed integrated Rochester revolution.

MERLE EXIT a long-time comedian, singer, and actress, writes for several publications as well as hosting an internet radio show, Whirl With Merle, on blogtalkradio.com.

Merle has traveled to more than ¾ of the United States focusing on entertainment and food.

TO READ THE DIGITAL VERSION AND SO MUCH MORE, VISIT WWW.OUTALLIANCE.ORG/EMPTYCLOSET

BOARD OF TRUSTEES

COLLEEN RAIMOND President CHLOE CORCORAN Vice President JEFF LAMBERT Secretary MARTIN MURPHY Treasurer JASON BARNECUT-KEARNS SADY FISCHER MILO PRIMEAUX LUIS ROSARIO-MCCABE DAVID ZONA

JEFFREY MYERS Interim Executive Director JOSHUA STAPF Development Director JEANNIE GAINSBURG Education Director ROWAN COLLINS Communications Director KAYDEN MILLER Education Coordinator OLIVIA PAGE LGBTQ Academy Educator LORI CRAMER Administrative Assistant ERIDAN MAEDER SAGE Program Coordinator ANNE TISCHER Outreach Coordinator EVELYN BAILEY Historian KAT WIGGALL Database Administrator

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FRIENDS FOR LIFE

THE COMPEER ROCHESTER MODEL IS SIMPLE Volunteers are matched with individuals living with mental illness.

Photos by: FIONA JONES

By: ROWAN COLLINS

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hose matches spend four hours a month together.

Intentional friendship has proved to be incredibly successful for the organization, based on their 2017 assessment survey. 100% of youth reported a high level of emotional engagement with their mentor, with 91% reporting high satisfaction with their match. 78% of adults reported an increase in self worth, with a 74% increase in general wellness. With high numbers like this, it’s no wonder the Compeer model has been successfully adopted around the world and recognized by the American Psychological Association as a Best Practice for Recovery and as an evidence-based model by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

Began in 1973 as The Mental Health Association’s Adopt a Patient Program, Compeer spun off in 1977 thanks to Bernice “Bunny” Skirboll, a former Adopt a Patient participant after a near-fatal automobile accident. Compeers’ website tells the story and says “[she] discovered the healing power of friendship, and vowed to make a difference in others’ lives. Today, the Compeer Rochester team of dedicated staff, Board and volunteers carries forward the founder’s vision and mission to provide healing friendship to community members living with mental illness—and to shatter the stigma of mental illness.”

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or other - for the service and the mental health professional stays involved in the match process as volunteers will reach out to introduce themselves. This allows the volunteer to ask the MHP questions about topics of conversation or activities to try or avoid.

The final drumroll for Compeer is the “match meeting” where a Program Coordinator and the volunteer and client meet, either out in the community or at the Compeer offices, to meet and start the friendship.

“Often, we talk about what they have in common. Give them someplace to start. You can just tell if it’s gonna go well or not!”

The process in the Youth Program is exactly the same, with the addition of parents or guardians at the match meeting.

Our media echoes the stigma of mental illness, which the LGBTQ+ community experiences at nearly three times the rate of the cisgender, heterosexual population. Having to confront stigma and prejudice based on orientation or gender identity while simultaneously living

While the model is simple, it requires a team of dedicated coordinators to help the matches come to life. Suzanne Sovocool coordinates the Adult Program and says each match requires finesse and understanding. Volunteers fill out an application, online or in person, and Compeer calls to set up an appointment for an interview with one of the Program Coordinators. A free background check is run and the matching process begins.

with societal bias against mental health conditions wears people down.

Many LGBTQ+ people hide their identity from those in the mental health system for fear of ridicule or rejection. Compeer Rochester wants to put a stop to that.

“Our entire model is based around reducing isolation and community education. Friends are part of who you are and it’s important that everyone feels like they have a friend,” says Heather Baker, Compeer’s Events and Outreach Manager.

Sovocool and other Program Coordinators work to generate three potential matches for the volunteers based on shared interests, likes, dislikes, past experiences (as many volunteers have lived through trauma themselves and seek to help those who have had similar experiences), and specifications. Volunteers do need to get their fingerprints taken if they go on a one-to-one match. “Besides that, we do the work!” Sovocool says.

Clients, or “mentees”, are referred by mental health professionals be it an individual therapist, inpatient psychologist, school counselor,

The program allows for structured meetings between clients and volunteers, then friends, as Compeer provides monthly events and activities for matches and those on the waiting list like terrarium-building classes, ice skating, Halloween parties, art classes, volunteering for Meals on Wheels, and more. Most pairs, however, choose to venture out on their own to coffee shops, parks, museums, and other fun spots around town.

Jayme-Lee White, Youth Program Coordinator, says the stigma around mental illness can often lead volunteers to be apprehensive about their match potential.

“Often times volunteers are worried the kids are ‘bad’, like having

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behaviors or tantrums, or have Oppositional Defiance Disorder. In fact, lots of our kids don’t have any symptomatic behaviors with their friend because they’re doing something fun! They love their volunteers, they are excited to go do something they’ve never done and it’s not with a teacher or caregiver. No one’s telling them what to do, it’s just a friend.”

“It’s the small things that make the biggest difference. We had a client who had developed agoraphobia and couldn’t leave her house. Her friend went over to her house for months and they would just talk and eventually, the client found the courage to leave and do an activity with her friend. That friend didn’t “do” anything...she just talked to her and that’s it and that was enough!” added Baker.

In an earlier conversation, Baker stressed that there are more and more openly LGBTQ+ mentees on waiting lists who have expressed a desire to be matched with a friend who either identifies the same way as they do, or will be compassionate and understanding.

They want is “going White says.

“And that breaks my heart! That’s the bare minimum and that’s all they’re looking for in a match. They’re dealing with issues of identity on top of the stigma of mental illness and that”

someone who to be nice to them,”

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 9

Jane one of his best friends.

“When we were set up at the initial meeting, I was like ‘I can hang out with him!’” Mary Jane exclaimed, causing the two to descend into laughter. “Even if we weren’t set up at Compeer, I think we would be friends.”

“And I’ve told him, I think that now he could take my place and be someone’s friend, especially someone in the community,” she added.

“We’ve developed a friendship that is going to last a lifetime.”

White notes that there has been influx in LGBTQ+ youth in recent years, many of whom are matched with non-LGBTQ+ friends by their own request. But many still, in both the Adult and Youth Programs, have indicated they would enjoy having a friend who identified the same way they do and can understand that aspect of their lives.

There are currently close to 115 adults and 60 youth on the waiting lists. Baker, White, and Sovocool say volunteers, especially those in the LGBTQ+ community are always needed and do not need to be anything other than a friend. Baker says 1 in 4 people have a mental illness, which means one can logically assume we are all impacted by it.

With the relatively small time commitment, bounty of organized events, and thoughtful match work at Compeer, it seems we can all give back to our community and make a friend in the process.

“It’s like four strikes against you,” finishes Craig.

Craig and Mary Jane are one of the successful matches in the Adult Program. They were matched by Suzanne and got along famously right from the start. For Craig, as a gay man also living with mental illness, the need for a friend who would be there for him through ups and downs was important. “I’d had friends come and go and was used to being very lonely.”

Their first meeting, at Starry Nites Cafe, went so well they completely lost track of time and didn’t even notice a band had started playing.

“It was an automatic relax, it was just calm,” Craig says.

“Everything is open, nothing is taboo. There’s stigma around having a Compeer friend, or having a mental illness, or being in the LGBTQ community... all those strikes against you. But coming to Compeer, they mean it TO VOLUNTEER -- ‘when you meet this person, they really are that open.’”

The pair say they hang out regularly and enjoy getting coffee and talking about their lives. Craig is even close with Mary Jane’s daughter and considers Mary

AT COMPEER, or learn more about their programs, visit compeerrochester.org, call (585) 546-8280, or stop by their offices in the Monroe Square Building at 259 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, NY 14607.

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ALLIANCE NEWS Out Alliance opens new LGBTQ+ Community Center By: ANNE TISCHER

On September 8th, 2018 the Out Alliance will be opening the doors to the all-new LGBTQ Community Center! The Out Alliance supports and enriches the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) people, providing a broad array of social, educational, and support services offered in a safe and culturally affirming environment. In addition to helping LGBTQ people build community and support networks, we also provide information and referral service to existing LGBTQ- friendly service providers.

So what does the new Out Alliance Community Center offer? Ultimately, we needed more room!

Currently, we are at capacity for our Tuesday Senior lunch.

Some days, we are running 5 activities simultaneously in the current LGBTQ Resource Center. This expansion allows more room for the growth of our impressive library and archives and will reduce the strain on bookings that we are experiencing now. This is a great opportunity to grow in ways that are most useful to our community.

LGBTQ people can be at higher risk for health problems. The Alliance is making a concerted effort to offer more activities encouraging physical movement in the new Community Center. We now will have room for an activity center and are planning for game equipment like ping pong, foosball, air hockey, and more. There will also be room for more health and wellness classes, yoga, Zumba, youth and senior dances and more.

LGBTQ youth, who are at higher risk of depression, substance abuse, risky behaviors and drop-out, will have an after

school drop-in spot with an activity center. The already thriving Youth program will be able to expand, offering crafts and utilizing a portable stage for small shows and youth performance clubs.

LGBTQ seniors with strong social supports exhibit higher mental quality of life and lower instances of isolation, depression, anxiety and internalized homophobia. Their needs and challenges of social support differ greatly from their heterosexual peers, as they are half as likely to have a life partner or spouse and are twice as likely to live alone. The new Community Center will provide social opportunities and expanded activities. There will be a commercial kitchen which will designate us as a senior congregate lunch program, greatly reducing costs and providing dietitian services.

Consultations for social workers and Call to Connect conversations with homebound seniors can happen in private rooms.

LGBTQ families, trans kids and adults and LGBTQ people of color will be better positioned to build community and connections as our programming grows with our space. Already, there is planned expansion of discussion groups, lunch & learns, monthly workshops, and InQueery classes on topics of interest to the full range of our communities.

Additional space allows for in-house fundraisers such as Pancake breakfasts, Pasta dinners, Euchre Tournaments & Drag Bingo. Other revenue may be generated by rentals of space for conferences and private parties. We will also be able to finally install an automatic door to accompany the wheelchair lift.

A planned Growth Fund appeal and grant-writing campaign are currently underway and there is great confidence that the LGBTQ community in and around Rochester will support this great opportunity to grow the Out Alliance to better serve our constituents.

We have great plans to utilize this space to the best of our ability to maximize programming and overall support for our community.

We hope that you will join us for our Grand Opening Community Event for the opening of the Out Alliance Community Center!

Sep 2018

We never skip date night!

We offer a full spectrum of senior services from independent living to skilled nursing.

Most importantly, we have designed communities to help you embrace living your way.

Call 585-760-1300 to schedule a tour or go to stjohnsliving.org/tec.

Our life. Our way.

SJ TEC 2018 - All.indd 6

3/16/18 10:35 AM

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VOLUNTEER OF THE MONTH Fredryanna & Aliyay

Fredryanna and Aliyay were two of the newest additions to the Out Alliance through the Rochester Works Summer Youth Employment. After a selective interview process, they ended up assisting the Rochester community through their work at the Out Alliance (and additionally their help with Rochester Pride). Both Fredryanna and Aliyay assisted the Alliance through maintenance throughout the building, assisting with SAGE events and the Front Desk, taking charge of taking inventory, and soon assisting with the setup of the new Community Center.

Fredryanne is a graduate of the School of the where she was exposed to the LGBTQ+ community through their advocacy.

Aliyay is currently attending Eastridge High School where they also celebrate the LGBTQ+ community through school clubs. They both have learned so much from their exposure to the LGBTQ+ community: the setup of Pride, the faces in the community, as well as learning the meaning of each LGBTQ+ flag. Their favorite experience?

Handing out food every Tuesday to the SAGE community members and getting to know the different staff within the Alliance.

Both will be returning to their individual campuses.

Fredryanna will be starting the Nursing program at MCC and Aliyay will be returning to Eastridge to finish her senior year. Both are so essential to the community and we at the Alliance are so grateful to have their help!

FREDRYANNA AND ALIYAY

GALLERY Q: Citlali Fabian:

BEN’N YALHALHJ / SOY DE YALÁLAG / I’M FROM YALALAG

Citlali Fabian uses photography to explore and connect with her cultural and ancestral roots, the indigenous Yalaltec Zapotec people from Yalálag, an indigenous village in Oaxaca, Mexico. While Fabian grew up in Sierra Juaraz about ninety kilometers north of her ancestral home of Yalálag, she recounts that she was born and raised outside of, but in touch with, her indigenous culture. Her keen awareness and interest in her roots were heightened as a young adult in connecting with her grandmother who spoke no Spanish while Fabian spoke no Zapotec. Indeed, the title of the work is in three languages: Zapotec, Spanish, and English giving perspective to the complex relationship between language and culture. In this series, Fabian has collected photographs of her family and documented the Zapotec culture to connect and better understand her own identity and worldview. “I’m trying to weave a net in order to talk about my ancestral Zapotec history—from our family perspective. In order to appreciate cultures from a meaningful place, especially native cultures, we need to have the chance to talk about ourselves and be seen from our own human stories” states Fabian.

Fabian is a rising star in the art world—her work was recently covered by the New York Times Len’s blog which described her portraits of indigenous women and girls from Oaxaca as “both intimate and universal” and “that [her] perspective is a commingling of old and contemporary artistic sensibilities — images that look as old as a Rembrandt and as new as something you’ve never seen.”

The exhibition runs SEPTEMBER 3–23 at Gallery Q with an opening reception First Friday, September 7, 2018.

OUT ALLIANCE COMMUNITY AWARD! Greater Rochester Eastern Area Tournament

A

t RISE Brunch 2018 the Out Alliance will be recognizing an organization that has been giving back to the Rochester Community for over 30 years. This year the Out Alliance will be recognizing the Greater Rochester Eastern Area Tournament (G.R.E.A.T.) for all the support that they have provided to the LGBTQ+ community and the Rochester community since its founding in 1988.

In 1988, G.R.E.A.T. started out as a one-day bowling tournament that combined competition with raising money for charity, and the first recipient from this tournament was the Patient Care Fund at the Infectious Disease Clinic at Strong Memorial Hospital.

After several years, the Community Health Network (CHN) became the recipient of G.R.E.A.T.’s charity efforts. Also, during this time G.R.E.A.T. became a two-day bowling tournament and a popular stop on the International Gay Bowling Organization (IGBO) tournament schedule. It is during this time that AIDS Rochester and CHN became equal charity recipients for G.R.E.A.T. When the two merged to become ACHC and then Trillium Health G.R.E.A.T. continued with its dual purpose of being a competitive bowling tournament and a charity event for ACHC and then Trillium Health. For the past three years The Out Alliance has been G.R.E.A.T.’s charity recipient.

Over the years G.R.E.A.T. has raised over $300,000.00 for local Rochester organizations.

D

D

By: JOSHUA STAPF

The G.R.E.A.T. Tournament’s base of support comes from the Rochester Historical Bowling Society (the league started in 1983) and is still going strong. Both G.R.E.A.T. and Rochester Historical are affiliated with IGBO. Many of the tournaments on the IGBO circuit (in cities throughout the United States and Canada, as well as Australia and New Zealand) are charity events in addition to being competitive bowling tournaments. However, two things stand out about the IGBO circuit: while the tournaments are competitions, there is no shortage of fun and friendship. G.R.E.A.T. is also an example of how there can be a tournament dedicated to giving back to the community while providing bowlers with a weekend of competition. G.R.E.A.T.’s dedication to giving the community support has been maintained throughout its entire tenure!

The Out Alliance would like to thank everyone that has been apart of G.R.E.A.T. for the over 30 years of support that it has provided to the Rochester community and looks forward too many more years of fun, friendship, competition, and giving back to the community.

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Hora Stellatrix By: Amy Lowell The stars hang thick in the apple tree, The south wind smells of the pungent sea, Gold tulip cups are heavy with dew.

The night’s for you, Sweetheart, for you!

Starfire rains from the vaulted blue.

Listen! The dancing of unseen leaves.

A drowsy swallow stirs in the eaves.

Only a maiden is sorrowing.

‘T is night and spring, Sweetheart, and spring!

Starfire lights your heart’s blossoming.

In the intimate dark there’s never an ear, Though the tulips stand on tiptoe to hear, So give; ripe fruit must shrivel or fall.

As you are mine, Sweetheart, give all!

Starfire sparkles, your coronal.

published through public domain

RISE BRUNCH 2018

By: JOSH STAPF

The Rochester Initiative for Scholarship and Education (RISE) came about as the needs of LGBTQ+ people, especially young people, change in a more accepting world. ROCHESTER LGBTQ SCHOLARSHIP One constant will be the need for academic opportunity AR E N K N O LL and leadership development. In anticipation, the Out K Rochester Institute of Technology Alliance started the Rochester Initiative for Scholarship Museum Studies and Anthropology & Education (RISE) to provide scholarships which are then bolstered by leadership and mentoring programs, internships, and community service opportunities.

We hope to empower the next generation of LGBTQ+ leaders by offering meaningful support to LGBTQ+ identified people who choose to attend post-secondary education and training programs. These recipients will espouse a commitment to equity and quality of life for LGBTQ+ people and promote understanding and acceptance of LGBTQ+ people with the broader Rochester community.

In the past three years, RISE has raised almost $60,000 that has helped community members attend college, provided youth with leadership skill development, and has enhanced programming at the Rochester LGBTQ+ Resource Center. In the three years that RISE has existed, the Out Alliance has been able to provide 7 scholarships to LGBTQ+ community members as that work towards a higher education degree or a technical training certificate.

The scholarships that are available for community members to apply for are the Rochester LGBTQ Scholarship, the Susan A. Cowell Scholarship, and the James R. Moran Scholarship.

These three scholarships are administered by the Rochester Community Foundation and are available for anyone going to college for the first time, returning to college, or going for a certificate program.

This year the RISE Brunch will take place on Sunday, September 23rd at ARTISANworks with the recognition of 4 scholarship recipients. This year’s recipients are:

K AR E N K N O LL

I moved to Rochester New York from Austin Texas to pursue my degree in Museum Studies and Cultural Anthropology. I currently intern at two amazing places and volunteer every week at the Out Alliance. I’ve come to really love the field that I am in and coming back to school has really made me feel like I’m doing what I was meant to do. Moving to Rochester New York was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a very long time. So many opportunities have opened up for me, and a lot I wouldn’t have been able to achieve elsewhere. I want to eventually open up my own museum, but until then I am excited to work in the field that I am in and to learn more about it. I’m very grateful to be able to work with the RIT Museum Studies program faculty and students, and all of the people at my internships and the alliance.

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ROCHESTER LGBTQ SCHOLARSHIP G RAC E MY E R S Washington University in St. Louis Anthropology

SUSAN A COWELL SCHOLARSHIP A Z IYA C O O P E R Le Moyne University Physician Assistant

JAMES R MORAN SCHOLARSHIP

While the RISE Brunch does include recognition of our scholars, the event also helps raise funds to continue to grow our scholarship endowment, provide mentoring, and enhance youth programming put on by the Out Alliance.

Along with ticket sales and sponsorship money is raised by a silent auction, basket raffle, and a 50/50. Along with raising money we will be recognizing G.R.E.A.T with a Community Award and have Shane Ortega as a keynote speaker. (See page 12 for more about G.R.E.A.T. and page 22 for our interview with Shane)

Tickets, tables, and sponsorship opportunities are available to purchase at www.outalliance.org/rise or by calling 585-775-6540 ext 29. If you would like to donate an item to the Silent Auction or Basket Raffle, please email rise@outalliance.org.

TI NA HA R P E R - R I C KS Brockport University Social Work

TI NA HA R P E R - R I C KS

Why I chose my major: I have worked as a pharmacy technician for 6+ years, as a paralegal for 6+ years, and in human services for 6+ years. The one thing I loved about all the positions I’ve worked at, was having the ability to assist someone to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Returning to school as a mom of 4 children, who works full time - is not easy. But It is worth it. I want to show my children that goals are achievable despite adversity. I want to be able to help trauma victims see that trauma is not the end of the story, recovery is possible. I want to help parents of LGBTQ+ youth be as loving and accepting of their child.

I believe the lifetime of adversities I have faced, will allow me to provide therapeutic support to my community from a place of true empathy.

FALL

ART CLASSES

THE CREATIVE WORKSHOP IS ROCHESTER’S ART SCHOOL FOR ALL AGES. REGISTRATION BEGINS AUGUST 30 (MEMBERS AUG. 15) CLASSES BEGIN SEPTEMBER 22

5 0 0 U N I V E R S I T Y AV E N U E | M AG. R O C H E S T E R . E D U | 5 8 5 . 2 7 6 . 8 9 5 9

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SAGE PROFILE

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WEEKLY EVENT REMINDERS TUESDAYS

SENIOR YOGA WITH TOM

CareGiving

10:30–11:30am, $5

LUNCH & LEARN By: REV. DAVID HEFLING, OBJN+

11:30am–1:30pm, $3, catered lunch & speaker THURSDAYS

I’ve been a caregiver in some form or another my entire life. As an Episcopal priest, it’s what I do for a living for nearly 300 people, on and off. Since 2010, when my husband Michael received a diagnosis of Parkinson’s, it’s what I do at home as well. Caregiving at home is most stressful. I’m responsible for almost everything and will be for more, as the disease progresses. There are times when I feel completely alone, isolated, and often guilty for the emotions I experience. Even though I know cognitively, that none of that is real, when you’re in the thick of it, reality is out the door. When I found Powerful Tools for Caregivers through an Empty Closet ad last winter, I signed up. The class was at the Out Alliance and facilitated

by Lifespan’s Finger Lakes Caregiver Institute social workers. It was geared toward caregivers who identify as gay or are caring for an LGBTQ+ person. Immediately upon walking in, there was a level of comfort that was exceptional. It carried though the entire six-week series. I felt I was truly among peers, without any judgement.

I ‘graduated’ with new ideas, confirmations, and realizations that those awkward and emotive feelings that come with caregiving are just part of the spectrum. There are always options and sources of assistance. I’ve maintained my connection to the group through a monthly support group and know I would feel lost without it!! Life is a little easier now.

If you, or someone you know, is caring for a loved one and want to find an understanding, safe environment to connect with others and find support? Join us for our monthly LGBTQ+ caregiver support group. All caregivers are welcome and encouraged to join. We meet the third Tuesday of the month at the LGBTQ Resource Center from 5:30-6:30pm.

September’s meeting will take place 9/17.

SENIOR YOGA WITH TOM 10:30–11:30am, $5 1ST & 3RD THURSDAYS

SENIORS IN SERVICE 11:30am–1:30pm, light lunch and volunteer activities 2 ND & 4 TH WEDNESDAYS

50+ MEN’S GROUP 6:30–8pm, Topical discussions 2 ND THURSDAYS

BREAKFAST CLUB @Jefferson Rd. Denny’s, 9:00–10:30am, RSVP Gerry 585. 730. 8772 3 RD FRIDAYS

PRIDE IN AGING 2:30–4pm, speakers and resources to help you “age in place”

DAVID & MICHAEL LAST FRIDAYS

This group is made possible by partnership with the Alzheimer’s Association of Rochester & Lifespan of Rochester.

Questions? Concerns?

Want more information? Mara would love to hear from you! Find her at mkouides@lifespan.org or 585-244-8400 x239

FABULOUS FISH FRY! 5:30pm, location varies, RSVP: Audet 585. 287. 2958 or aprice002@aol.com

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HISTORY CORNER:

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By: EVELYN BAILEY

Shoulders To Stand On

Resistance of the Highest Order

The Rochester LGBTQ community has seen this before, as have all minority communities. It is nothing new. The LGBTQ community and now other diverse communities have been ostracized, marginalized and vilified by other segments of society such as churches, political institutions, law enforcement agencies, the government and the mental health community. Second class citizenship has lead to the establishment of many groups within these diverse communities to improve their political, social and economic status. The truth about homosexuals, diverse cultures, the poor, the disenfranchised has been attacked, buried, and dismissed over and over again. The TRUTH will set you free. Lies enslave you to tell more and more. That is one way to tell the difference – it is an internal reality not an external one. More than ever before – as was demonstrated during ROC Pride, we must come together and in one voice RESIST - RESIST - RESIST

In our minds, souls and hearts we have all heard the voice of freedom and equality to be who we are, where we are, when we are, and how we are regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, or culture. The human spirit to be real, genuine, authentic and honest cannot and will not be destroyed. The greatest “enemy of our people” is our very selves. WE must not trust the voices of the government and politicians who say one thing and do another. WE must educate ourselves on the issues with facts not opinions. WE must think critically about what is said. WE must get involved in the democratic process at all levels. WE must speak with those we disagree with to find common ground. Divide and conquer has been the strategy used by so many to gain power and control over the masses. WE must not allow ourselves to be lead like sheep to the slaughter as we have seen people being thrown under the bus for political gain over and over again.

Make no mistake – we live in perilous times, and we must raise our voices for truth, justice and the American dream for all citizens, not the chosen few. Our very existence and way of life is being threatened, attacked and dismantled. WE must take responsibility for our own part. WE must come together to stand up for the accurate, honest, truthful reporting our news media presents. The list of those who have declared the news media, and cultures as the “enemy of the people” are numerous. Lest you be surprised Eastman Kodak once banned Italians from working at Kodak. Rochester’s history is not pure on that score, but diversity has been nurtured within the Rochester region to become the backbone of innovation and creativity.

The Soviet Union, Nazi Germany, and many more have used this phrase “enemy of the people” to become despots, dictators, emperors and rulers in service of themselves not their people.

In the Soviet Union an “enemy of the people” could be imprisoned, expelled or executed, and lose their property to confiscation. Close relatives of enemies of the people were labeled as “traitor of Motherland family members” and prosecuted. They could be sent to Gulag, punished by the involuntary settlement in unpopulated areas, or stripped of citizen’s rights. Being a friend of an enemy of the people automatically placed the person under suspicion.

Regarding the Nazi plan to relocate all Jews to Madagascar, the Nazi tabloid Der Stürmer wrote that “The Jews don’t want to go to Madagascar – They cannot bear the climate. Jews are pests and disseminators of diseases. In whatever country they settle and spread themselves out, they produce the same effects as are produced in the human body by germs. ... In former times sane people and sane leaders of the peoples made short shrift of enemies of the people.

They had them either expelled or killed.”

Here in the United States many groups and organizations have been identified as the “the enemy of the people” and have identified political leaders and the U.S. government in that way also.

On February 17, 2017, President Donald Trump tweeted, “The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @NBCNews, @ABC, @ CBS, @CNN) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American People!” Trump declared these news organizations “fake news” and an enemy of the people. Trump repeated the assertion on February 24 at the Conservative Political Action Conference, saying “A few days ago I called the fake news the enemy of the people and they are. They are the enemy of the people”. At a June 25, 2018 rally in South Carolina, Trump singled out journalists as “fake newsers” and again called them “the enemy of the people”. This continues to be his cry almost every day.

If this is true why would our founding fathers protect the right to a free press in the First Amendment to the Constitution?

It was not an after-thought. Protecting the freedom of the press was front and center in their deliberations. You cannot ban, take away the rights of the press, or bar the press from speaking. That is breaking the laws as much as unjustly taking another person’s life is.

We must RESIST the barrage of falsehoods from an administration whose false statements outnumber the partially true ones. We must RESIST the interference of Russian propaganda and social media attacks because the current administration will not. We must RESIST the onslaught of violence and destruction unleashed by the permission hate gives by its actions and words.

We must RESIST the threats against, disrespect and disregard for the citizens of the United States this administration proclaims with pride. And we must ask – who is the real enemy of the people?

It does not matter if we come to not believe the nation’s leaders, what matters is that we will not believe the voices contradicting the leader, either. We must defend and support our First Amendment Right to freedom of speech, and the freedom of the press. We must not be lulled into complacency and normalization by the outrageous untruths we hear each day. We must RESIST the temptation to not care and to believe we are powerless. We must RESIST forgetting what equality, justice and truth are in a free society. We must raise our voices for what is right and we must exercise our right to vote!

Yes, we live in perilous uncertain times, but we too – with all of our brothers and sisters – WE TOO SHALL OVERCOME! TRUTH AND JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!

18 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

OUT IN PRINT: BLAME IT ON BIANCA DEL RIO: The Expert on Nothing with an Opinion on Everything

You have no rope left.

You were at the end of yours last week, and you need help.

Advice. Tell-me-what-to-do direction. Even a little hint would be great, and in “Blame It On Bianca Del Rio” by Bianca Del Rio, you might find it.

Or not. Then again, Del Rio adamantly says that she gives “better advice than Dr. Phil” because what she espouses is based on “years and years of insightful prying and corrosive gossip…” That’s what this “literary goldmine” is based on, but Del Rio cautions that she changed names and circumstances as she wrote this book. In other words, even if you see your name here, it’s not all about you.

Some of the problems here may be yours, though, and Del Rio offers “help” – first on health and grooming. This includes bad smells and what to do about them, rocking a bald look, dealing with serious illness, preparing yourself for a loved-one’s death, and looking one’s best (or lowering one’s standards).

This book wouldn’t be right without Del Rio’s guidance on sex and relationships. She has a lot to say about LBD (Lesbian Bed Death), coming out as gay to your girlfriend of four years, how many cats a queen can have before crossing the line, and what to do about a terrible mother-in-law.

There’s “advice” here on how to deal with neighbors who don’t like you, and neighbors you like a little too much. Find out what Del Rio says about unknown paternity and how to avoid the same situation in the future. Get help on dealing with homophobia, parents that are overly supportive, bad Grandmas, and other family matters.

Learn how to turn down an invitation, how to read an invitation, and how to be rude-not-rude.

Finally, find out what it’s like to be famous, fabulous, and fabulously famous. In a rush of snark and a long answer, Del Rio tells all…

In case you hadn’t already figured it out – whether you are familiar with author Bianca Del Rio or not, whether you know her work or don’t – you need to know that there’s not one single thing about “Blame It On Bianca Del Rio” that’s PC. Nope, in fact, there may actually be parts of this book that could be downright insulting.

By

BIANCA DEL RIO

Review By

©2018,

TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Dey Street Books / $21.99 / $26.99 Canada / 272 pages

Contrary to what you were told in grade school, however, there are some books that need to be judged by their covers and this one is a good example. With one look, you should know what you’re getting yourself into, and a good insult is half the appeal of what you’ll have once you’re there. Mixed in with that is the occasional usable nugget, a lot of “you-go-girl!” empowerment, blunt MYOBiz answers to authentically sticky problems, and fall-down screaming-hysterical laughs hidden in the snarkiest of comments.

“Blame It on Bianca Del Rio” absolutely does not belong on the shelf with other Agony Aunt tomes. Get it, and it might not even need a shelf at all because you’ll want it close, all tied up in fun.

20 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

SEPTEMBER EVENTS

Tuesday, September 4

Wednesday, September 12

TANGENT 5:30­­–6:30pm, ages 13­­–20. Connections to the Past! Come join us as we use larger-than-life dominos to connect larger-than-life historical transgender icons to their definitions and what they are known for.

INQUEERY MOVIE NIGHT OUT: “Paris is Burning” 7­­–9pm, free admission, drinks and snacks available.

Wednesday, September 5 INQUEERY presents Mental Health and Suicide Prevention: 7­­–8pm. Challenges with mental health are common in the LGBTQ+ community due to stigma stress, discrimination, and a lack of access to needed health resources. Learn about statistics, resources, and how to support each other.

OUT IN THE STICKS: Batavia Meetup at GoArt! 6­­–8pm, 201 E Main St Batavia 14020. Pizza Party! Table topics, film shorts & tall tales. annet@outalliance.org

Thursday, September 6 “LORA WOMAN’S LUNCH 12­­–1:30pm. Featuring author & educator Linda Donohue of Cornell University International Labor Relations School. Ms. Donohue will be highlighting significant & interesting women in Labor History. All are welcome. $3 donation toward lunch. Info: contact Anne at annet@outalliance.org.

Friday, September 7 GALLERY Q “Ben’n Yalhalhj / Soy de Yalálag / I’m from Yalalag

by Citlali Fabian” opening reception. 6­­–9 pm, drinks and snacks provided

Saturday, September 8 * OUT ALLIANCE COMMUNITY CENTER GRAND OPENING 4–11pm.

Join the Out Alliance as we expand our space! This will be an evening of fun events to help raise funds and awareness of the Out Alliance. 4:30­­–6:00pm Pet Pride Fashion Show ($10 suggested donation) hosted by Vivian Darling, Frankie Star and Vanessa LeRoux. 7­­–9pm Live Band Performance ($10 suggested donation). 9­­–11pm Dance Party with DJ Solid Bear (Free)

For weekly, monthly, and ongoing events, see our ongoing calendar!

Friday, September 14 YOUTH GAME NIGHT 7­­–9pm. Hang out with your friends, have a snack and enjoy some games! Bring your favorite board/card game with you. Free and open to youth 13-20.

Monday, September 17 TRANSGENDER PANEL PRESENTATION 7­­–8:30pm, Gates Public Library. Trained Out Alliance Speakers Bureau members will share their personal coming out stories, discuss basic terms and vocabulary, offer tips on how to be respectful when communicating with trans individuals and answer questions.

More info: bit.ly/2w7aJib

Tuesday, September 18 LGBTQ+ CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP 5­­–7pm. Taking care of a friend, partner, or family member living with a chronic illness and/or memory loss? If yes, please join us for our monthly group, co-sponsored by Lifespan’s Finger Lakes Caregiver Institute and the Alzheimer’s Association. Contact Mara at (585) 244-8400 x239 or mkouides@lifespan-roch.org ALL-AGES TRANSGENDER SOCIAL GATHERING AND DINNER 6­­–7:30pm, free catered social dinner, all are welcome!

Sunday, September 23 * RISE BRUNCH 12­­–3pm, ARTISANworks, 565 Blossom Road.

The 4th annual scholarship fundraising brunch for leadership development. Silent auction, brunch, scholarship awards, and more – hosted by Mrs. Kasha Davis. Tickets, tables, and sponsorship opportunities at outalliance.org/rise

Monday, September 24 INQUEERY PRESENTS ‘FALL FIESTA Bingo at Bitter Honey’ Drag Queen Bingo with Vivian Darling, Destiny Spice, and a special guest. Doors 6:30pm, games begin 7pm, Bitter Honey 127 Railroad St, 21+ event, $6 donation at the door

Keep up to date with new events follow us on Facebook @OutAllianceRoc

(all events at LGBTQ Resource Center unless otherwise noted)

|

See our online community calendar at: bit.ly/RocLGBTQCal

See page 16 for ongoing SAGE event information

E M P T Y

COMMUNITY CALENDAR

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 21

Got an event next month? Submit it to rowanc@outalliance.org before Sept10th for inclusion in Oct’s calendar.

Sunday, September 2:

Thursday, September 20

FALL CRAWL 3—7:30pm, 140 Alex, The Avenue Pub, Bachelor Forum, Lux Lounge. Annual Labor Day Weekend crawl. $20 ticket includes tshirt, pizza, scavenger hunt, transportation between bars, and drink specials. Proceeds benefit Monroe County Parks Memorials Restoration Fund for the AIDS Memorial Garden at Highland Park.

See bit.ly/2vDGyzW for details

HRC PRESENTS EQUALITY ACTION ACADEMY 6—7pm, Out Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center. A training series designed to give you the tools to take action locally in legislative and electoral campaigns. $5 suggested at door.

DEEDEE’S CLUB NIGHT OUT: a 10pm—2:30am, Photo City Improv, 543 Atlantic Avenue. Join DeeDee Dubois, DJ Mighty Mic and additional performers for the first DeeDee’s Club Night Out party! 18+ and welcoming to everyone

Sunday, September 23 KINGS AND COFFEE DRAG BRUNCH 11am, ButaPub, 315 Gregory Street. First come, first serve. No reservation needed. Full brunch menu and fabulous performances from local kings and queens with your host Cassanova The King.

LGBTQ+ AA Meetings

KING’S COURT AND THE ROYALTY OF ROCHESTER 10pm—2am, 140 Alex Bar and Grill. The NEW, rebranded King-Sized Thursdays at 140 are now King’s Court! Performers of all identities are welcome to join the Royal Court. 18+, no cover.

SUNDAYS: • Rochester Gay Men’s AA – 8pm, St. Luke & St. Simon, 17 Fitzhugh St. Closed, men’s AA meeting with speaker/ discussion model.

FRIDAYS: • Free To Be. 7:30pm, Mack Building, 1587 Jackson Road, Penfield. Open, handicap accessible AA meeting with speaker/discussion model.

• Park Ave Gay Men’s AA – 7:30pm, Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Open, men’s AA meeting with discussion model.

SATURDAYS: • The Repair Shop – 5:30—6:30pm, Out Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center. An open AA meeting in a safe space for all, meeting has an evolving weekly format. Open to all LGBTQ and allies.

SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL – 6:30pm, Central Office Meeting Room, 1000 Elmwood Ave, Greenhouse. Open, handicap accessible AA meeting with speaker/discussion model.

Sunday, September 9

SERVICES

DRAG BRUNCH seatings at 11:30am and 2pm, Edibles Restaurant, 704 University Ave, Rochester NY 14607, featuring Keke Valasquez-Lord, Ginger KaiKai, Mrs. Kasha Davis, and Darienne Lake. $27 includes brunch & show, call 585-271-4910 or ediblesrochester.com to reserve your seat.

DIGNITY/INTEGRITY Sundays, 5pm, 17 South Fitzhugh Street SEPT 2 & 16: Episcopal Eucharist with music (2) & Quiet Episcopal Eucharist (16) SEPT 9, & 30: Catholic Liturgy SEPT 23: Prayers to start and the week and potluck supper

Tuesday, September 4 AFTY (ADULT FAMILIES OF TRANS YOUTH) 5:30—6:30pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E Main St, Rochester NY 14605. Facilitated discussion and social group to provide the families of trans* adolescents with a safe forum, shared network of support, and central hub of knowledge and resources.

NEW GROUND POETRY NIGHT 7:30pm, Equal Grounds Coffee Shop. Bring a friend or four! Drink coffee and be surrounded by amazing people. The lineup is first come, first on stage.

Each poet has five minutes (or three poems, whichever comes first.)

Thursday, September 6

Tuesday, September 18 TRANSPARENT ROCHESTER MEETING 6:30—8pm, Out Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center. TransParent provides connection and support to parents raising a gender independent or transgender child of any age. Contact rochester.ny@ transparentusa.org with questions

OPEN ARMS METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH Sundays, 10:30am, 707 E Main St SEPT 23: Farewell Potluck THIRD PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH Sundays, 8:30am & 10:45am / 4 Meigs Street No worship service in the Chapel during summer

All events listed are provided by groups and organizations outside of the Out Alliance and are accurate to the best of our ability.

22 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

Service through Authenticity as told to ROWAN COLLINS, transcribed by LORI CRAMER

H É É ’ T Á ’ Á Y Í É Í É H Y S H S I N I Y A G E T R O E S HAN

Shane Ortega is best known for his outspoken advocacy for transgender individuals in the US Armed Forces. His activism, however, contains multitudes and has grown in different directions since his military days. Now living in Idaho, Ortega visited Rochester during Pride Week as one of Roc Pride’s “icons” and will return in September as the keynote speaker at RISE Brunch.

Tell us a little about yourself!

I am a multitudes, I am a limitless person. Yá’át’ééh shí éí Shane Ortega yinishyé. Basically I just said in Navajo Hi, my name is Shane Ortega & nice to meet you.

I’m definitely what we would call an Indigenous Two-Spirit Person. I grew up outside of the colonial patriarchy system. Served in the military and realized that the military is an industrial complex and what that intention means. I worked on the trans military ban and legislation. More importantly, I served in the military as a female person and pushed some boundaries that they had in regards to female service and what women are capable of. I’m from the east coast, born in Maryland. Grew up in a problematic childhood and haven’t really gone home since I was 14 years old. I’ve floated around from Hawaii, Alaska, Pennsylvania, Florida, Kentucky, Texas for a minute, and I currently reside in Idaho.

What compelled you into service originally?

I’m from a commonwealth state, and being so comes with an area with people who are very disenfranchised. It all revolved around opportunity. Opportunity to better myself and opportunity to possibly go to college and just approve upon my own experience. Every male in my family has served in the military, both on my mother and father’s side since like the Revolutionary War. Being a person of color, that’s pretty intense. Our family was literally a lineage of warriors. Even my mother served in the military, now retired. It was never something I had readily considered in my mind but given the opportunity, I took it given my status.

What is it like to function in a colonial binary world, country, and society knowing that your identity isn’t recognized or validated by the broader sense?

The most concise way that I can say it is I definitely have the insider/outsider approach to it. I have learned the system and the game as they say, and I honestly did that by compelling myself and having a constant steadfast belief in what I consider creator (the spirit), universal knowledge and being really tapped in, awake, and receptive of sharing that message. For a very long strong degree with all these diverging outside opposing opinions, I have gotten into situations where I’m like, “listen, I can see this vision and I know what’s going to happen” but they don’t trust me and I’m going to do this walk and it’s going to prove itself. That’s where where i try to stand in the mindset of not everyone is going to understand what I am seeing, hearing, or feeling but if there’s just this better, greater food that you just have to tough it out (as painful as it can be) and just go for it. Existing in that sort of space, I am extremely grateful about my female experience. One, because like the divine feminine or power dynamic that is in our patriarchal society, it cannot be balanced until we get here to this matricial sort of viewpoint. That is the connection between genders, right? As a two-spirit person existing in that space, tribally or culturally, that is my responsibility. Holding that space is to bring cohesion in between the genders. I try to be that bridge, I try to learn that system, how it is in the society. I also try to share as much as possible as I can on the other side. This doesn’t mean I have to be all things to all people, sometimes I can just be like hey, here’s a book!

I can imagine that must get exhausting, trying to continually bridge and play the right angle to other folks.

Here’s the thing actually to talk to you about, this month I will be doing a traditional dance. Not of my nation, but of a different nation,the Shoshone people. One of the Shoshone people’s name is Clyde Hall. This is a part of the American Indian Movement and the Two-Spirit movement so this is kinda my responsibility. I’ll be doing a traditional dance called the Sun Dance. It’s a dance for four days without food or water with the purpose to dance for the prayers of the people. The dance is for those who are suffering and it’s a way to offer yourself and your physical body to the creator of the great spirit to help the future of the people. This is also a way to basically make yourself a conduit, an embodiment of unconditional love so you can go out there and do great work. With this, comes a two year commitment. So for two years, you have to do this very like painful dance. The reason I mention the Sun Dance is because its acknowledging your spirit. It’s a way for me to bring us into the future. Living in patriarchy, natives have been colonized so i’ll be a trans person, a two spirit person, who is dancing at Sun Dance which is a closed all-male event. It’s a big deal in itself tribal wise because a lot of tribes now are trying to decolonize and are having the two- spirit moment. Briding that gap and explaining that into the LGBTQ gay mainstream heteronormative movement.

Before colonialism, you wouldn’t have to come out because you would already be this person and we would respect you as you were. Part of why I started to actualize and realize by doing this dance and things like that too, maybe that’s my place. Maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be bringing to this table. Maybe this is why I carry this experience and knowledge as well as other military insider experience, so I can bring that commonality to the plate and start explaining these - hey I really like knocking down this one tree, maybe we don’t even have to hit the tree anymore. Maybe we can’ just walk away from the tree, that’ll be fine.

What does the identity of two spirit mean to you?

For me, I’m Cherokee, in Cherokee we have 153 words for being two spirit. Each of those words is spirit of its own. Two spirit is a reclamation of our culture outside white concepts of gender and sexuality. Its a divorce from that. Not saying that the modern LGBTQ movement isn’t valuable but for us it is culture, it is a way of life that has responsibility. It comes with responsibility. It’s great to be identified and have a place and sense of community which is so important because i can’t do anything without my community and my community can’t do anything without me right! I can’t move ahead before several generations ahead.

The two spirit movement is a progression and that’s why I hold it so scared because that’s what it means to be.

What are you trying to pass in Idaho? What are you working on?

There is currently no comprehensive care in Idaho. I’m trying to open a gender affirming clinic. I also am looking to specialize in geriatric care particulary for LGBTQ elders because this is lacking nationwide. I am currently finishing up my undergrad in public health and then applying to PA school which then I will do a residency for gender affirming surgeries to bring to Idaho. I’d love to open a clinic in Boise. In addition, I want to bring a queer arts festival to Idaho. Last, I created a workshop that will be presented around the US that will be a way to reclaim our space and focus on the decolonization for LGBTQ+ veterans.

With little sleep, how do you stay so positive and have s o much energy?

Honestly, the way I operate or no matter how terrible orr something is, one of the things we say is that for everything taken someone is owed. In order for me to be this high with energy, there is going to be great suffering, like after Sun Dance. The way that I stay super focused on this high vibration is looking at who is this going to benefit? at Why am I being challenged this way? I am being challenged in this way because I have the capacity of stretch. If I can aim to operate on a level of unconditional love always, that love is also meant for me too.

Anything else you would like folks to know about you or about the work you’re doing?

I feel like we’ve come to this place in America where everyone’s sort of like generalized into black people or white people.

I just want people to really explore your ancestral line and where you came from. Even if you’re a white person, you’re indigenous people in Europe, they had a way. They had a way before religion and things like that. I’m not saying force yourself into Christianity or being Muslim or anything like that, but learn a little about what that meant because people before these times, before we conquered each other, I mean, there’s always going to be be fighting between people. But I ask that people really think about where they came from and their connection to the earth. Modern society has created this absence or this need to conquer the earth when before the earth cradled us and took care of us, just as we were. Think about where that comes from and you can see the commonality that you have between all these people because each of those people share something, a story. Whether that story is about the moon or the sky, it’s unconditional love. That’s all you need man, What’s the answer? It’s love.

How can folks connect with you? If they’re interested in following what you’re doing?

Instagram: @Shane Ortega_ I also have an email button there, people kind of send questions that way. I don’t have a website, just a normal person going to college!

24 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

LGBTQ ACADEMY CORNER: Pronouns

Wednesday October 17th is International Pronouns Day! In honor of that, the LGBTQ Academy thought we would take this opportunity to talk about pronouns!

By the LGBTQ ACADEMY Team at the Out Alliance

JEANNIE GAINSBURG, KAYDEN MILLER AND OLIVIA GAST

For those of us who are cisgender (non-transgender) people, we often glide through life without ever even thinking about pronouns. Many transgender people, however, work hard to have their pronouns recognized and respected. Using the wrong pronoun for an individual, especially if it happens repeatedly, can be very hurtful. It can also be a safety issue. Using the wrong pronoun for someone in a public place can “out” them to others. So here are a few tips on respectful pronoun use from your LGBTQ Academy team!

Share your pronoun first! This can avoid the awkward ask. For example: “Hi! I’m Olivia. I use ‘she’ as a pronoun.” You can also add your pronoun to your email signature or name plate.

If you aren’t sure which pronoun to use try using the gender neutral or non-binary pronoun “they” to mean one person. For example: “Someone left their phone! I hope they come back for it!” (Fun fact: Did you know that singular “they” is in the Oxford Dictionary! “Used to refer to a person of unspecified gender.”

Instead of using “Sir,” “Ma’am,” “ladies,” “Mr.” etc. respectfully ask “How may I refer to you?” Whether someone is cis or trans, this is such a respectful way to begin a conversation.

Remember, we ALL make mistakes! If you mess up simply apologize, as if you bumped into someone, and move on, but please do the work to get it correct the next time.

Interested in learning more! Please register for our free lunch-and-learn workshop on Oct 17 in honor of International Pronouns day! Simply go to www.outalliance.org and click on the slide. Contact Jeannie at education@outalliance.org or 585-244-8640 with questions, concerns or accessibility needs.

International Pronouns Day Workshop

Wednesday, October 17 from noon-1:30pm (Optional lunch starting at 11:15am)

Description of Program: This is a free lunch-and-learn workshop focusing on understanding the importance of proper pronoun use and tips for creating inclusive spaces where everyone is referred to respectfully. This fun and interactive workshop will include a panel of individuals open to answering any and all of your questions in a safe and non-judgmental space, as well as tips for navigating through awkward situations involving misgendering and not knowing how an individual identifies.

Appropriate Audience: Folks who are relatively new to LGBTQ+ identities and inclusion. If you have taken one of our trainings before, there may be some repeat. Please pass this on to friends and co-workers who may not have participated in one of our past trainings! Thanks so much!

LOCATION: The LGBTQ Academy’s Education Center (Out Alliance 100 College Avenue. Rochester, NY 14607).

There is free parking in the lot next to our building.

SCHEDULE: 11:00am: Check in 11:15am­­–11:50am: Lunch is served 12­­–1:30pm: Workshop

REGISTRATION FEE: FREE!!!

RESPECT TIP #1: Seating is limited at this free event. If you sign up, please show up!!! If you register and then find that you cannot attend, please let us know so we can offer your spot to someone on our waiting list. Thank you so much!

25 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

GNAW ROCS: A TOO-CLASSY DIVE BAR?

C L O S E T

OUT AND ABOUT:

By REILLY

HIRST

Swan Dive is one part of its name but not the other. Sure we can pretend it’s a dive bar, but really it only has a few of the markings.

Sure, a large number of industry craft cocktail workers come.

However, they don’t order their standard: a beer and a shot. It’s very similar to what chefs of fancy restaurants do; they go to the hole in the wall with the simple food, somewhere where they can rest.

Why do they come here then? Well, it may have to do with a few things including their friends tending the bar (Nate and Kourtney, for example). Also, it’s open on Monday, when the industry staff can actually make it, and far too little is actually open. Industry bartenders are found here or the actual-dive-bar Joey’s on Mondays.

However, other dive attributes include cheap drinks, food, not a lot of décor, and a chill vibe. Swan Dive has the last, but not the rest.

I love having the option of pitchers of premixed draft drinks, but these are upscale, including a ‘Negroni Slushy’ (delicious) or the ShoChu (a Japanese type of rice Vodka) based ‘Sick of These Dolphins’ with Genepy.

Really not dive bar-ish at all and $8/glass or $28 for a pitcher, we’re not talking cheap.

The food is also higher in price, and arguably better quality.

There are slices of pizza, $3.50–$4, (more than an Acme slice). They also have gourmet pizzas (including an On Trend Pizza), and organic chicken nuggets. The rest of the menu likewise is on the gourmet side of comfort food, like truffle fries or a hot dog from Swan’s Market.

This place is trendy, but still chill and the food and environment are good.

The other reason it’s called Swan Dive is the Swans. John and Pauline Swan are some of the forces behind this enterprise. It is sort of the “Swan corner” there, with Ox and Stone and the Daily Refresher in immediate presence. All three feature craft cocktails and some kind of sustaining food. The Daily Refresher, of course, is THE whiskey bar of Rochester and for my money still one of the finest craft establishments. Ox and Stone’s kitchen is really good; the fish tacos standing out as some of the only Mexican I actually like in town. So why build Swan Dive? It’s more eclectic and does feel more easy going. So close to East, as long as it doesn’t make Lanai’s, Mex’s or Havana Cabana’s mistakes, it should do well. The last two made the mistake of complacency and inconsistency over time. That specific downside is another aspect of being hip. It is trendy; not only does that raise my hackles, but increase the crowds, and the shortlived aspect of an establishment. It will have to reinvent itself once the novelty wears off as other establishments including Locals Only raise the bar. Complacency, among other things, also doomed 2 Vines, another gorgeous space that started well.

So if not Swan Dive, what should we call this new addition instead: Swan Flight? Swan Elevate? Trendy Swan? Or maybe A Flock of Swans.

MORE TO MORGANTOWN THAN THE WEST VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY BURNING CELEBRATION

By MERLE EXIT

West Virginia University has a reputation for their football team setting fires to celebrate whether it’s a win or a loss. This would be the last reason to visit the area with so many other attractions to experience.

Animal lovers, like myself, should head for the Hovatter’s Wildlife Zoo, located in Kingswood on Herring Road. Run by Brian Hovatter it is less than 20 miles from Morgantown. The entrance house has a great view of one of many groups of primates and where you can purchase feeding food. Carrots are suggested for the giraffe, candy bars (of the healthy genre) go to the bears. At some areas, like at one primate cage, there is a machine to get a handful of “Cherrios”. Long white tubes are placed in most of the cages so that you can simply put the food in the tube and the animal will be waiting for it. I was able to pet Zack, a giraffe who had appeared in movies. www.westvirginiazoo.com.

Pontoon rides are a favorite as well. Sunset Beach Marina is the perfect spot to begin a boat ride along the 13-mile Cheat Lake less than 15 minutes from Morgantown. The exact address of the marina is 177 Sunset Beach Rd. www.sunsetbeach-marina.com.

Coopers Rock State Forest, 13 miles East of Morgantown, was more than a viewing attraction. The drive alone gave me a glimpse of the oxygenated outdoors. West Virginia Botanic Gardens is located in and around the parking lot. www.wvbg.org. Rockcliffs line the Cheat River with a gorge furnishing a panorama as well as distant horizons.

Hike to the historic Henry Clay Furnace just nearby and enjoy the state forest. www.coopersrockstateforest.com

Morgantown Theatre Company has a usual focus of “teaching” as it functions as a community theatre for elementary, middle and high school students. Sometimes you can take in a performance by the alumni. www.morgantowntheatrecompany.org

No matter what state you travel in there always seems to be wineries. Forks of Cheat Winery is nestled in the Appalachian Mountains with a tasting room that could keep you there for the afternoon. Owned by Jerry and Eric Deal, the view alone is worth the ride. There is no charge for the wine tastings of which you can taste them all. Head for the deck for a great view. www.wvwines.com

Spark Science Center will satisfy the imagination of children with interactive exhibits. Just the opposite from admission price, children are charged $2 while adults have to fork over $6. www. sparkwv.org.

Expect a number of cuisines in the area. Stefanos, located above a bowling alley, has some of the best Italian cuisine with a bit of a twist. I loved their meatballs stuffed with mozzarella and topped with a meat sauce as well as the mac and cheese made with lobster and mascarpone. www.stefanoswv.com.

Check out the downtown area called the Wharf District where Morgantown Brewing Company, is located. This micro-brewery has an array of beers, delicious food and some live entertainment as well. www.morgantownbrewingcompany.com.

Photos by: ADRIAN ELIM

R E T S E H C O R R D EA BLAC K PR ID E

FIVE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED AND TEN MINUTES. That is exactly how long Rochester Black Pride 2018 lasted. Months and months of sitting around a table at MOCHA with some combination of Dee (the turn-up), Fred (the sarcastic comedian), Luis (the coin counter), Jevon (the air of love and positivity), Chris (the diplomat), Adrian (the gatekeeper), myself (the strategizer) and whomever else was free to stop by planning how those 5,910 minutes would play out. Watching Black Pride grow and evolve over its three years of official existence has been nothing short of extraordinary. People-of-colororchestrated Pride events are nothing new to the Rochester Pride scene but creating something of this magnitude and scale was a new undertaking. The challenges of funding, coordination, support, explaining the necessity alone, on top of the buy-in of our own LGBTQ+ of color community makes Rochester Black Pride a labor of love. Hence the love letter you see before you. My love letter to the 8th of August through the 12th and all the people who joined together to create it and that it so beautifully represented.

Rochester Black Pride is not about any one person or team or table. It is about creating space to celebrate our vibrant and diverse queer community of color with pride in a world where those spaces rarely exist. As African-Americans we still struggle to find equality in this world. As people of the LGBTQ+ community

we struggle to find accepting, safe spaces. As a combination of both, the air to breath gets very thin and somehow the advocacy centered on each group separately is often lost on those of us who struggle to survive when collectively counted as both. Demonizing homophobia somehow doesn’t eradicate racism and Afrocentricity often does not embrace queerness. To those who ask why Rochester Black Pride is necessary: I ask you to keep reading about the love found, created and exalted over the course of 5,910 minutes.

Adrian Elim and I operate on a diet of exhaustion, anticipation, frustration, hope and promise as Pride approaches each year. I’m ready to kill him over missed deadlines of my carefully constructed public relations timelines and he is so buried under the demand of necessity that we are nearly at the breaking point before the first event even begins. We rally under a flag of purpose to keep plugging along and exchanged knowing glances that one day the ‘if we build it, they will come’ theory will kick in.

E M P T Y

This 5,910 minute stretch... it kind of did. Being able to share the triumph of that with him was priceless. Adrian, this is my love letter to you and all the sleepless nights we spent in your very hot studio over the years building the blueprint that suddenly came alive less than 40 minutes into the 5,910 of Rochester Black Pride 2018 and your unrelenting faith that you could make this happen for the people who need it the most.

THE OPENING RECEPTION was hosted by the gracious Reenah Golden, owner and director of the newly opened The Avenue Blackbox Theatre, 780 Joseph Ave., which has brought arts and culture to the ‘hood and become a safe haven for the youth of the neighborhood as well as the LGBTQ+ of color community. The room filled quickly with Pride participants, partners and people eager to view the big screen debut of brilliant young queer filmmaker Lundon Knight’s film Beyond Truth. The evening was full of magic and tears and ushered in an amazing 5,910 minutes. As an organizer of this Pride and visitor of many others, that night gave me the fuel to look with hope of what was to come. For the fearless young filmmaker, you will find in his love letter later, it was a weekend of firsts.

THURSDAY brought the MOCHA Youth Day party and the ushering in of a purposeful shift to engage and empower our youth in every way possible. As we work to build, it is these youth that will be our future and it’s our duty to pour into them and ensure their voices are heard.

Next came Studs & Stilettos, the event focused on queer women of color. I took it on as my personal project this summer to bridge some of the gaps that existed within that corner of our community in hopes of encouraging more women to step to the table as well as attend the many events. As DJ Brei of Buffalo played her final reggae mix of the night, the neon lights illuminated Bar Bantam’s beautiful dance floor and the room erupted with pure black girl magic and black boy joy. It was then, about half way through those 5,910 minutes that that good Black Pride air filled my lungs deeply and cast away every bit of exhaustion. My femmes, my stems, my studs and no labels - this is my love letter to you. Thank you for risking something new, laying swords down and letting yourself take the risk of being a part of this. Welcome to Rochester Black Pride, we’ve been waiting for you.

FRIDAY’S Black Trans Brunch brought together some of the bravest people I know to be celebrated and acknowledged for their tremendous personal strides and vital work within the community. Consider this a love letter to every one of the sixteen trans men and women that lost their lives to violence in 2018, 10 of which were people of color, and the countless others that were misgendered, unacknowledged and uncounted.

We speak your names and promise you will never be forgotten. The Get Down event caters to the elders of our community and pays homage to those that paved our way. They danced the night away to everything from Motown

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 27

to disco and showed the young whippersnappers how to get down with the get down. Shout-out to you for being the shoulders upon which we stand. Friday night ended with what many people consider one of the best Vogue Rochester in years. Ballroom culture runs deep in the black queer community and Vogue Rochester is our love letter to it. With Peachez’ flawless commentating amongst a packed room of spectators circled around competitors from houses all over the state, the five elements took the stage. It was nothing short of epic. It was Rochester Black Pride at its finest.

SATURDAY, Edgerton Park was full of life and color and above all else, pride. With food, vendors, amazing performances and kid friendly activities- the neighborhood sparkled. This love letter is to you, Tina, for quietly making that day run like a well-oiled machine. I spent it running between my show, Brunchin w Dee & T on WAYO 104.3FM and Buffalo where our headliner, national recording star, Trina’s plane would be landing. Beautiful, tiny and soft spoken, with an accent thicker than cold grits, she ended our night in the early Sunday morning hours with a performance at Funk N’ Waffles that brought the house down. This also serves as a love letter to each host, performer and ASL interpreter that danced, rapped, signed and entertained as we awaited her arrival. The talent in Rochester is incomparable.

OUR WEEKEND ended with the annual CookOut at Durand Eastman Beach. It’s always a packed house that feels very much like a family reunion as we skewered shish kabobs and an old school playlist wafted into the air and danced with April’s yummy barbecue smells just above our heads. There are games and laughter, families and photos as we close out the week. It’s the point where those of us on the team take that deep, cleansing breath and settle into the fact that we made it. Another loud, busy, beautiful, colorful, cultural, drunken, dramatic Rochester Black Pride on the books.

This love letter couldn’t possibly begin to encompass all the magic and beauty that found its way into those phenomenal 5,910 minutes.

I lovingly describe them in those terms because it was just that collections of moments and shared experience that made Rochester Black Pride 2018 so special and makes it so incredibly necessary to our collective spirit. If, by chance, there are still questions in your mind as to ‘why’ that weren’t answered in my love letter, let this last love letter to Pride from our young filmmaker, Lundon, answer those questions definitively. This will be our reason ‘why’ over the next

DEAR ROCHESTER BLACK PRIDE, Last week was something totally new and an experience for me. It was the first time that I ever attended Black Pride… or any pride festival.

Almost a year went by since I first came out and that began the time that everything slowly but progressively changed for me. Even though I was out of the closet to a few people, it didn’t feel like I was out to the world or, more importantly, myself. I felt like I was still hiding behind a wall with an electric fence guarding it so no one could see what was on the other side of all that shame. I felt alone and excluded from everyone because there was no one to understand me. To get my struggle, my pain, my risk... my decision. Until there was.

Creating my short film Beyond Truth with the exclusive Adrian Elim was only the beginning to becoming completely passable. Premiering it was fulfilling as I got to tell my story. But I realized telling my story wasn’t enough for me to feel as accepted as I do now. My Black Pride experience was beyond thrilling for me as I got support from a group of people that did understand my struggles and my decisions, because they were just like me. Besides the premiere of my film, I’d have to say my other favorite part of Black Pride would be Vogue Rochester. Getting to see a community like that step into their element and embrace themselves for who they are, enjoying the presence of each other’s company, and not having to worry about what a group of “normals” may think allowed me to do just the same. At times I’m considerably a shy person but that night something sparked. I became an entirely different soul than I’ve ever been. Dancing, laughing, socializing and having a real good time was honestly something that I’ve never felt like I really had being around a community that didn’t support the community I stood for. Maybe that spiritual person was always inside of me but was just finding his way out. I also enjoyed the Trans Brunch. Hearing those stories told by the trans men and women gave me a brand-new perspective on life... this life. I am who I am and I’ve never felt more proud of that than I do right now because just like them I’m my own person and no one should have the opportunity of molding me into doubting the decision I have made for myself because it was a great one.

Overall, I got to see things that I’ve never seen before. A happy community. Everyone embracing each other and genuinely showing love towards one another was something that I never thought was possible. Love creates strength and that strength can be manufactured into something expansive only if you let it. For next year’s Pride I’m willing to go all the way because now that I’ve gotten the full on experience of what it’s like to be a part of a community with such power. I have nothing else to be ashamed about. I am a bisexual human being. That’s who I am and that’s what I’ve chosen to be. And thanks to Rochester Black Pride I’ve lived to learn that there are no labels, only an identity and that’s something that I’ve chosen to identify myself as. Me. Thank you Black Pride for the enlightenment and the for allowing me to find a way to accept myself for exactly who I am.

Because now I have and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

THE COOKOUT - AUGUST 12 - credit Adrian Elim

BEYOND TRUTH SCREENING - AUGUST 8 - credit Reena Golden

SUMMER NIGHTS - TRINA - AUGUST 11 - credit Adrian Elim

- LUNDON KNIGHT

This is my love letter to you, Lundon. And to each and every person who made Rochester Pride Week 2018 the incredible experience for all of us that it has been. We hope that each of you found a way to love yourself as we love you - as exactly who you are.

- TAMARA LEIGH TRANS BRUNCH - AUGUST 10 - credit Adrian Elim

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 29

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IN A WORD: TRANS

Interview by: FIONA JONES

Justin Hubbell is a nationally recognized

artist, and lifelong resident of Rochester New York. Their work has been published on BuzzFeed, Everyday Feminism, Bustle, UpWorthy, and was recently recognized in the 2018 Prism Awards for their short comic “More Than One!”

Empty Closet readers may recognize their work from our pages, as they contribute a quarterly comic called #NBNerdyFeels.

“In A Word: Trans” is the first major

collection of comics by Hubbell. Their work speaks on gender, dysphoria, body positivity, pride, and the struggles and joys of being Transgender. The book provides running commentary that serves to chronicle the artist’s own transition, and in so doing attempts to relieve the anxieties and misconceptions surrounding Trans identities.

Earlier this summer, Hubbell was nominated for the prestigious Prism Awards. The Awards, presented by Prism Comics and the Cartoon Art Museum, are

Images provided by: Justin Hubbell

Local artist JUSTIN HUBBELL talks national recognition and their forthcoming book

given to comic works by queer authors and works that promote representations of LGBTQ+ characters in comics. Hubbell was nominated for their 2017 short-form comic “There’s More Than One!” in a packed field.

Hubbell has been making comics almost their entire life but have been professionally working as an artist since 2010. They spoke with the EC recently to reflect on their inspirations, how fans can best support artists, and tell us about their upcoming book:

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How long have you been a cartoonist?

What lead you to become a cartoonist?

I’ve been making comics pretty much my whole life but starting working professionally in 2010. A lot was building up to becoming a cartoonist but it was my girlfriend (now wife) who got sick of me moaning about what to do after art school. She said “why don’t you just make comics?” and there it was.

Putting a book of comics together must be a tall task. Can you tell us more about ways you’re looking to produce those works? How many comics have you created since you started working professionally?

If I put all of my comics into one book it’d be thousands of pages - but most of the comics going my book are my most popular. I don’t think a collection of comics on Transgender issues could be published without Kickstarter. The demand is there - but let’s face it - mainstream publishers aren’t generally interested.

Right now my editor Alli Kirkham and I are ironing out the knitty gritty details (ISBN numbers, copyrights etc). I want the book to be 100% complete prior to launching my Kickstarter such that backing the project is essentially just pre-ordering the book. We’re still on schedule for the campaign to launch in September or early Fall - right on time for The Holidays™ Can you tell us about your inspirations?

I’m inspired by a combination of contemporary and older creators. I’m as comfortable wandering through the pages of Tezuka, Schultz, and Watterson as I am through new brilliance like Noelle Stevensen, E.K. Weaver, Jen Wang, or the Tamaki sisters. But if I’m being honest there’s a staggering amount of talent to be found among unpublished Trans artists.

Any collaborations on the horizon or collaborations you really want to make happen?

Soon! “In a Word Trans” is only going to be the first title from my publishing company. Around June of 2018 I’m going be collaborating with Alex Combs, creator of “Tittybar Tales” after he finishes up work at the California College of the Arts. We want to produce an anthology of comics from Trans artists. I’d love to get Archie Bongiovanni, Ronnie Ritchie, or Scout Tran involved, there’s plenty of time for that and/or other projects through.

What inspired you to create a book that deals specifically with issues impacting the transgender community?

I have plenty of ideas for other comics, but all of them would have to involve Trans

characters or in the very least challenge gender roles. It reminds me a bit of having a dress code. Boys wear this uniform and girls wear that one. Except what if you’re not a girl - but you get shoved into that uniform anyway? You wouldn’t expect a child to continue to wear their school uniform their entire lives, but in a way that’s precisely what we do. It’s silly! More people are saying “enough” and letting go of that nonsense. My comics are one I get to add my voice to those crying “enough!”

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 31

Archbishop, it’s an accumulation of small monthly contributions from my readers/ fans. It’s the main way I’m able to work on personal/educational projects! Donations make a big difference.

Every artist has something different to give in exchange, I provide sketches, personal/art journals, and exclusive content three times a week! patreon.com/justinhubbell What else should readers know about you and your work?

Life is painful! A lot of us are in pain, and hurt people hurt people. You can’t focus on your bullies. It’s not worth it. Focus on the people you love, and most of all love yourself first. The kind of comics I make require a lot of self-acceptance. That’s a muscle I encourage everyone to start exercising and you don’t have to become a cartoonist to get there.

With “In A Word: Trans” I aim to do three things: chronologically showcase my comics, acknowledge/illustrate my gender transition during the process of comic-making, and help people. The bulk of the comics in the book were created specifically to educate, comfort, and amuse people going through a tough time. I want it to be a resource for cisgender allies, and maybe even a cheatsheet of sorts for Trans people!

While we’re talking about Kickstarter and inspiration, do you have any advice or resources for artists who are looking to work more professionally or trying to publish?

For Kickstarter I highly recommend buying Spike Trotman’s “Let’s Kickstart a Comic!”

Patreon is definitely a slow burn since you have to establish a following of some kind before you can expect any pledges. In either scenario you have to put in hours of work to make it happen - but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun. If you’re not having fun what’s the point?

-Jason Brubaker’s “Unnatural Talent” is an excellent resource for the budding cartoonist.

But in general I think Valerie Felicity Frizzle said it best, “Take chances! Make mistakes!

Get messy!” You have to learn to brush aside fear and become your own cheerleader.

Fail your way upwards! Always challenge yourself to try new things, learn new skills, be open to new perspectives!

Tell us what exactly Patreon is and how more people can use Patreon to support artists.

Just like how artists of old often relied on a patron to fund their work - Patreon can provide that same support for working artists.

Except instead of me relying on a Duke or

Last but not least, how can people reach out to you?

I live on the internet so I’m available on virtually all the platforms. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr are my main outlets. Look me up!

32 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

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C L O S E T

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C L O S E T | September 2018 | 33

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS, REPAIRING HARM, RESTORING COMMUNITIES

By: SHIRA MAY and DANNY PALME

A group of 4th grade students sits in a circle of chairs, joined by their teacher and another facilitator. The children pass around a stone with the word “Peace” etched on it. When the stone is passed to them, they speak about their experiences with bullying in school, while the rest of the group listens. One child tearfully describes how they are scared to come to school because they are afraid of being made fun of. Another says they wish their classmates would stick up for each other. One child says they didn’t realize how much bullying affected kids in this school, and they would try to do a better job of being kind to everyone.

This example of a community-building circle, sometimes known as a peace circle, is part of a growing movement in schools to implement restorative practices, a philosophy based on building strong relationships within communities. The fundamental premise of this approach is that the stronger the relationships, the less likely wrongdoing will occur and the more likely that wrongdoing can be repaired when it does occur.

Leading the restorative movement in the Rochester area is Partners in Restorative Initiatives, commonly known by its nickname PiRI. Founded in 1998, PiRI partners with schools, community organizations, and the justice system to train staff in the use of restorative practices, provide consultation and coaching, and facilitate a range of processes for proactive community-building and

responding to conflict and harm. Trainings take place in a tranquil sanctuary setting at PiRI’s facility, located within the Rochester Mennonite Fellowship building. We have partnered with numerous school districts, including Rochester City School District, East High School, Avon, and Rush-Henrietta, as well as organizations such as Starbridge, Lifespan, and Irondequoit Public Library in addition to other libraries in the region. PiRI is one of several agencies working to promote restorative practices in our area, including the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, Pathways to Peace, Center for Dispute Settlement, and Center for Youth Services.

PiRI continues to expand our work with community organizations, offering a series of upcoming workshops on teambuilding and responding to conflict. A recent area of growth in the organization has been an active initiative to respond to a clearly identified need for diversity and address a focus on equity and inclusion. Some initiatives in this area have included a public “Talking Circle” on Race and Racism which drew over 20 people from a variety of backgrounds and organizations, and a workshop for educators on racial identity co-facilitated with RCSD and Center for Youth. Areas for future work include creating inclusive environments for the LGBTQ community, preventing and responding to sexual harassment and violence, and responding to situations of eldmer abuse.

As a queer woman, a former Out Alliance trainer, a sexual abuse survivor, a spouse, and a mom, my journey of exploring and embracing all facets of my identity has relied on the help of multiple communities. As the new Executive Director at PiRI, I am honored to bring my personal and professional experiences to support this important work of community-building.

Community members are invited to learn about the history of restorative practices in Rochester at PiRI’s 20th Anniversary Celebration and Open House on Wednesday, October 17 from 5:30– 7:30pm. Registration is required; call 473-0970 or email office@ pirirochester.org. To donate, or for more information, visit PiRI’s website: www.pirirochester.org.

34 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

On Me Don’t Piss ain.

R and Call It

Until I met MISS RICKEY,

I don’t believe I had ever had a proper hug. Sweet and charismatic, she asked me to ask her “the hard questions” as we dug into a variety of topics from being transgender, family, and even the Alliance itself. Miss Rickey believes that it is finally time to “open the doors and stop the bullshit” as she emphasized she was so sick of fake people. Starting as a black, privileged child, she came from a background in which she wasn’t aware of what prejudice looked like. Her family focused on education because she knew “what the future was going to bring you was going to be difficult”. She was an entertainer for 25 years as Mahogany Ross (a drag queen), as she sang and performed under the inspiration of Diana Ross.

Y Y E E K K C I C I R R It is hard e. being m

M iss

good a d a Ih fe. gay li

Miss Rickey went to a transgender retreat in which she came to the realization that she was more woman. She had never want to “be a transgender. I never wanted to say that I was born in a different body, because I was not born in a different body… They put up with me being gay.” When she started getting shots, she quit singing and performing and then became Miss Rickey. “I have never struggled as hard as I have becoming a transgender person. I wouldn’t put this bullshit on nobody. This is something I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to go through this.” And the more we talked, I realized how she is (as in her words) “a strong person. I wasn’t built to break. You can’t break me.”

Miss Rickey dwelled with learning how to become a different person and she would never thought she would “become the queen diva that I am.” She never believed that she could be so passable, until she learned how dangerous transgender life was. Miss Rickey had worked in previous places such as her own show, a transgender center as well as church. She had to dealt with being hurt by her family, as she moves on through her pain. She believes that “no one has the right to tell me what I’m doing is wrong. That doesn’t work for me.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve read my bible and cry, as to why I’m in this situation.” Miss Rickey knows that people only see her with the makeup, but she has been searching for someone who will be able to see her for who she truly is stripped down. She wants to believe that people will come and help her with her dreams, to help her find children. She hasn’t found someone who has been there for her to help her through the process. “I live a really terrible sad life, so I don’t put this on anyone.”

In rejection to jobs time and time again, Miss Rickey believes as a disabled gay transgender woman that her “Gay Pride to me is no Pride.” She believes that she wants to see more integration with MOCHA and Out Alliance, as well as more integration between the people of color within the community and the Alliance itself, so we are able to learn. She has believes that the Out Alliance needs more staff of color in order to really understand the whole of their community. Although “we have so many groups going on down here”, we don’t have enough groups to cover the groups of color. After her time away from the Alliance, when she finally returned, she felt the “love and that you have missed me. I could feel, wow, I’m glad we broke this mold.”

She wants to be the person to be able to represent herself to the transgender community. Her hope is that she “touches someone’s heart out there, this is not an easy life. Don’t let the public see you cry. I am here for you.” Her dream is to have two little boys to take over her last name and to carry on her legacy. After all, she “wants to be a mother to some children. It’s my right. I just wish I could find someone to hold my hand and say girl, I’m going to help you with this ride. After all, like I said, don’t piss on me and call it rain.”

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 35

Unlikely Inspiration By: REID WILSON

When I started writing as a child, it was simply born out of a love of storytelling.

I had always enjoyed books, playing pretend, watching films, and drawing pictures with some sort of narrative behind them, but it wasn’t until I put my pencil to the notebook that I realized what I could do. I could write the stories that I needed to exist. I could create the characters that were nowhere else to be found. In writing fiction, I found a way to be more myself.

As a high schooler, even before I had started examining my own identity, I was beginning to engage more critically with the stories I experienced, especially the literature we were assigned in class. I tired of the same handful of perspectives being presented again and again, but I began to realize that there was something I could do about that. My school at least made a point of including a lot of women in the curriculum, but I knew that there were plenty of other identities being left off our reading lists. As I entered university, and solidified my plan to major in creative writing, I was not only developing a better sense of myself, but of what I wanted to do with my writing as well.

Fast forward to college. I was nervously awaiting feedback on a piece I’d written for my fiction class. Little did I know I was about to receive the most motivating piece of criticism I’ve received to date. The story up for review was, in my mind, nothing special, just a vignette about a group of adventurers recruiting a new member for their team. I’d pulled character concepts from a few different planning documents that hadn’t amounted to anything yet and thrown them together in a lighthearted tale of friendship.

And then one of my classmates called it propaganda. I guess that’s just what happens when you include explicitly transgender characters in a work of fiction.

I, and several other students, had issues with this classmate all year. He didn’t understand why characters “had” to be gay, he didn’t like singular they, he misgendered protagonists. He said stories about racial profiling were “unrealistic” (only to have an author explain that the scenario she’d written was based on something that had happened to her) and complained about “social justice.” So, of course, I doubled down. Every dismissive comment, every rant against “political correctness” became fuel for each successive piece. I followed up the adventurer story with a piece about a trans man navigating love and fatherhood.

I wrote about lesbians, and Dr. James Barry, and gay interspecies alien space romance.

I wrote them for me, and I wrote them for every person like me who never got to see ourselves in the stories we so desperately wanted to be a part of. Not everyone has the opportunity to make their voice heard — I wasn’t going to squander mine in order to avoid classroom drama. Engaging with people who are willing to self-reflect can be a useful way to change hearts and minds, but I had better things to do than spend two semesters arguing with someone who didn’t understand that all art is inherently political. Nevertheless, I did my best to channel negativity into something positive.

I won’t let bigotry stop me from being who I am, or loving who I love, or living the life I deserve to live. I’m going to keep writing, and developing not only as a writer, but hopefully as a person, too. It’s going to take more than a few short stories and novels to change the world, but it’s a start.

36 | September | E M P T Y

THE SCENE : A

C L O S E T

@OUTALLIANCEROC

A

A

C

B

D

D

A 3rd Annual Pride Rally Clean Sweep, August 5: credit Jourdán Aponté B 18+ Night at 140 Alex, August 9: credit Richie Ramos SafeZone “Train-the-Trainer” C Drag Brunch at Edibles, August 5: credit Wednesday Westwood D HRC Second Thursday at

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E

C L O S E T | September 2018 | 37

E

E

E

F

G

G

Stone-Tolan House, August 9: credit Bill Moehle E Queer Rock Camp: credit Claire Marzietti & Rebecca Werkmeister F Strange Hidden Shadows reception, August 3 G Tilt’s Last Show, August 4: credit Alex Koroleski

38 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

e c n a i l l A Out a v e G t a Nights of every ance rm fo r e p y a d n u S m The second 7p duction ro p s e ri e S e g a t S n o Wils

September 16

October 28

January 20

March 3

April 7 Alliance members receive

% OFF 25 Tickets in Sections A and B

May 12 Offer available for specified performances by phone only.

$5 of each discounted ticket purchase will be donated back to Out Alliance!

This offer is exclusive to Out Alliance members only and is NOT available to the public.

Theatre.org a v e .G w w w • 2 8 3 -4 (585) 232

Join us the 2nd Thursday of every month.

Locations vary. Email HRCSecondThursday@gmail.com or follow us on FB @ HRCSecondThursday for details on upcoming events.

40 | September 2018 | E M P T Y

C L O S E T

Everyone remembers their first. And for Trillium Health, you were ours. From our earliest days, Trillium has been working, first and foremost, with LGBTQ individuals to prevent and treat HIV/AIDS. And as long as our doors remain open, you will remain a priority.

We understand that not all health centers understand you and make you feel welcome. We do and can help you lead the healthy life you deserve.

trilliumhealth.org | 585.545.7200

care. for you.

youwere our first