Empty Closet, May 2012

The Empty Closet

G o s h!

S e e Pa g e s 18-19

local, state and national news , newsmaker interviews , opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars , and health resource listings

number 456 a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley MAY 2012

Partnerships The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

Gold:

Silver:

Anne Wakeman

Meet Anne Wakeman, Interim Executive Director of the Gay Alliance

Bronze:

Champion:

Friend:

By Susan Jordan Anne Wakeman, newly appointed Interim Executive Director of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, has been a contractor at the agency for four years, writing grants with contract management responsibilities and other financial matters. Her expertise with numbers and her experience with the GAGV and its staff will enable her to take the reins during the transition period, as the GAGV board seeks a permanent ED. Anne grew up in Chili and majored in finance at the University of Buffalo and received her MBA in accounting from RIT. Her work experience includes a variety of financial and marketing roles. As a commercial lender in banking, she said, “I learned how to work with customers and was professionally trained in customer management.” From banking

Pride Agenda Spring Dinner is set for May 19 General tickets are on sale now for the Pride Agenda’s Spring Dinner on Saturday, May 19 at the Rochester Riverside Convention Center.

The reception starts at 5:45 p.m. and the dinner and program begin at 7 p.m. Comedian and out actor Stephen Guarino will be on hand to emcee. Stephen is known for the groundbreaking sketch comedy series “The Big Gay Sketch Show,” the film “BearCity,” and his recurring role as Derrick in the hit ABC comedy series “Happy Endings.”

Episcopal bishop Prince G. Singh will receive the Community Service Award.

Pride Agenda organizers say, “Last year’s event helped us build momentum to secure marriage for all loving, committed couples in New York State the very next month. Now it’s time to celebrate with you and come together for the work still to come! General tickets are on sale now. Go to takeaction@prideagenda.org.” ■

Anne went to work for Eastman Kodak Credit Corp, where she worked with district leasing managers and their customers, from Michigan east and all down the eastern seaboard.

Anne was at Kodak for 16 years. “From Leasing I went into Corporate Audit for seven years,” she said. “That work was interesting because the focus is on processes, efficiency and internal controls. One learns how to manage a number of competing priorities and how to learn new things very quickly. The big perk was the international audit trips, which were fascinating. Twice a year, auditors were scheduled for three to four weeks on international audit trips, so I’ve been blessed to have worked in Argentina, Uruguay, Japan, France, UK and Germany, and love hearing about other people’s travels as well.

“As the Assistant to the Director of Corporate Audit, part of the position included worldwide risk assessment and scheduling of the 35-plus auditors.

“After Audit, I really wanted to round out my experience and worked in Market Research for seven years. In this role, the work included branding, competitive intelligence and numerous other studies. Most interesting was the long-term work in multicultural markets and healthy aging. With multicultural markets, I specialized in the LGBT market and helped influence Kodak’s advertising spend and marketing to the LGBT community and participated in the CMO’s lecture series.

“The healthy aging project was a 10-month initiative to develop products for elders, and involved focus groups, market definition/planning, and working with leading geriatricians to understand the special needs of individuals as they age.

“I left Kodak in 2007 and started my own independent consulting business. In 2008 the Gay Alliance became one of my clients.”

Anne lives in Penfield and has a 13-year-old daughter and a 16-year-old son. She says, “I like the yin and yang of my roots in Chili and present-day in Penfield.”

But as the Interim Executive Director for the Gay Alliance, Anne feels she is not taking just any job. Her personal experience of discrimination has con( Wakeman continues page 6)

Jamie Nabozny...

Youth at Tilt on April 20. Photos: Jeff Mills

Youth rally breaks the silence about hatred, bullying

By Susan Jordan Over 150 youth kept silent as they filed into Tilt on April 20. They had been silent all day as part of the annual national event, sponsored by GLSEN, to honor the voices of LGBT youth lost to hate violence, or driven to suicide by bullying.

At 4 p.m., Youth Group performers took the stage under the whirling, multicolored disco lights. They were Dontaee, Candace, Zach, Caryn, Dezi, Alex, Courtney, Mary and Elaine.

Each one said something that being LGBT is NOT: “unnatural, bad, a sin, being confused, wrong, stupid, an illness,” etc.

Then they each stated what being lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender IS: “Beautiful, amazing, natural, good, here, everywhere” – and finally, “ME.” Then came the countdown to the moment the youth had been waiting for all day. They broke the silence with deafening cheers, shouts, laughter and the shrilling of plastic whistles shaped like red lips.

Erik Libey of AIDS Care, who is also a Gay Alliance Youth Group volunteer, told the youth that he was going to be married the next day. They responded with wild applause and Erik introduced singer Levi Kreis as the writer of his wedding song – “All Over Again.”

Erik said that he had asked Levi to sing the song at his wedding, and Levi had said, “Your wedding is the day after the Day of Silence – does anything happen in Rochester?” Erik said he had replied, “It sure does!” and he asked Levi to perform at the Breaking the Silence rally.

See page 7

Levi Kreis

Kreis’s music thrilled the youth until it was time for their dance, which went on until 7 p.m.

On the national scene…

As 8,000 schools around the country observed DoS, spokesmen of the homophobic Right urged “Christian” students to harass their gay classmates, and claimed that the Day of Silence represents “bullying” of those whose “religious belief” is that gay people should not exist: “This is not about tolerating any issue or person. It is about a radical and forced agenda of homosexuality that these [days] of silence are promoting, sponsored by the GLSEN organization and sometimes under pressure by the schools. In that situation, parents and students ought to protest. They should not be forced to participate, or bullied or pressured in any way to participate in the Day of Silence. I would encourage parents to contact the school authorities and express their concerns over this issue,” said ultra-rightwing Liberty Counsel president Mat Staver.

On April 14, six days before the Day of Silence, Kenneth Weishuhn, a 14-year-old gay stu( Youth rally continues page 6)

Contents Newsfronts................................... 4 Interview: Jamie Nabozny............ 7 Making The Scene.....................10 Library news...............................12 JCC exhibit.................................17 Pride update...............................18 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: South Pacific.....27 Gay Alliance News.....................30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34

Proud Publisher of New York State’s Oldest Lgbt Publication

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

Perspectives From the Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

“Bully” and youth leadership In February, Georgetown student Sandra Fluke won national attention by continuing to stand up for women’s rights after being publicly defamed as a slut and prostitute by Rush Limbaugh and the AFA. Last month we celebrated the initiative and persistence of another courageous young woman – Michigan student Katy Butler.

Butler’s experience with school bullying, including having her finger broken in the seventh grade by bullies, led her to start the campaign on Change. org to pressure the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) to change the “R” rating of Lee Hirsch’s “Bully,” the award-winning documentary about the epidemic of school bullying.

“We can’t make schools safer or change hearts and minds on the issue of bullying if we’re blocking important films like ‘Bully’ from reaching the audiences they most need to reach,” she said. She delivered a petition of over 500,000 signatures calling on the MPAA to lower the rating from “R” to “PG-13.”

At first the MPAA refused Butler, citing “consistency.” But on April 6, “Bully” received a PG 13 rating. Despite three minor edits, a major scene that had caused the R rating is intact.

“Bully” was screened at the Little Theatre on April 20, with a Talk Back.

“I am happy ‘Bully’ will maintain its authenticity and will be an accurate portrayal of what thousands of kids experience every day,” said Butler, who was outraged that the MPAA gave “Bully” an “R” rating by just one vote because of brief language.

Butler was backed by Prop 8 legal hotshots David Olson and Ted Boies, and by Ellen DeGeneres, NFL quarterback Drew Brees, pop singers Demi Lovato and Justin Bieber, American Idol host Randy Jackson, Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Michael Jordan and CNN’s Anderson Cooper, among others.

But it was Katy herself who made it happen. If she had given up after the initial rebuff from the MPAA, the film would still be off limits to those who need to see it most. Now, hundreds of thousands of youth – potential victims, and also the bullies and those who passively witness bullying – will see it and their lives may change in a positive way. Lives may even be saved.

It’s heartening to see young women and men standing up for justice, like the young members of Occupy Rochester, non-violent resisters of economic and social inequality, who were ejected from Washington Square Park on March 30.

Another example is Alabama student Elizabeth Garrett, who recently got her school system to accept pro-gay t-shirts and allow gay couples at their prom.

It was also encouraging to hear Rev. Jim Mulcahy, who was interviewed in the April EC, talking about the courageous young leaders of the LGBT freedom movement in Ukraine.

“It’s exciting to see young people risking their lives for their ideals,” he said.

If we’re looking for heroes, we can honor and support these youth and also the young women and men of the Gay Alliance Youth Group, who bravely broke the Silence on April 20.

They are leaders, not of tomorrow, but of today. ■

Many things

From the Interim Executive Director Anne Wakeman

Looking forward I have consulted at the Gay Alliance since 2008 and now the Board has asked me to step in as Interim Executive Director, while a thorough search for the next Executive Director begins. The privilege of the interim position, the trust to do the job and to follow Sue Cowell (who for 35 years has been and will continue to be an active force in the LGBT and ally community) is an honor.

The opportunity to work with such an extraordinary staff doing important work makes each day a genuine pleasure.

Over the years, I’ve seen the changes taking place. I witnessed staff, the Board and our loyal donors and sponsors keeping the agency moving during the state’s financial crisis, which reduced funding in 2010. I saw the bold strategic moves to have the Gay Alliance produce Pride, and bring LGBT elder issues to the forefront with the merger with Rainbow SAGE. And we continue to look forward.

In 2013, the Gay Alliance celebrates its 40th year.

This upcoming anniversary is nothing short of remarkable. The Gay Alliance Library and David Bohnett Foundation Cyber Center contain a large and rich LGBT collection in traditional and multimedia formats, with computer access.

The Archives have a collection of over 40 years of The Empty

Closet and other vital historical records, which have been digitized and are now searchable online. Shoulders to Stand On is the archival and documentary project which will celebrate Rochester’s LGBT history.

The Gay Alliance is also moving forward as a vital driver for the LGBT and Ally community, with ever-improving advocacy, education and community programming in the Finger Lakes Region and well beyond.

With market research, we know that the Alliance’s visibility has growth opportunities. In the Finger Lakes Region alone, there are around 120,000 LGBT individuals, and many times that number with our straight allies included. All need to be aware of the Gay Alliance, its resources and its advocacy and educational services, and all should have the opportunity to participate in Alliance community events.

It is the sharing of your time, talents and financial gifts which makes this agency such a vital member of our community. The Spring Appeal is now in full force. In addition to the opportunity to donate in honor of Sue Cowell, there’s also personal testimony by Christopher Hennelly, which can be read, but I’d also encourage you to view it via the Agency’s Youtube channel at www.youtube. com/user/GayAlliance. The use of multimedia and social media has transformed the world and Christopher’s testimony is especially powerful in his own words.

If you haven’t had an opportunity to donate this month, please go to our website, www. gayalliance.org. No gift is too small and sustaining gifts, with an amount/month automatically donated, are an incredibly useful way to support the Agency.

Always know that it is with extraordinary gratitude that we thank you for your past and continuing support and participation. ■

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The Empty Closet • Youth Program • Rochester Pride Education Program & Speakers Bureau Community Safety Program & Anti-Violence Project InQueery • Library and Archives Gay Alliance Resource Directory Shoulders to Stand On • Rainbow SAGE • SafeZone The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.GayAlliance.org

E-mail Membership levels: ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100-999 Champion ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Enclosed is my check in the amount of _________ (check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of: __________ To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # _____________________________ Exp. Date: _______ ❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged. ❏ Please provide me Rainbow SAGE Program (age 50+) News Benefits include: a subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership in the Gay Alliance.

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to Many people

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 © 2011, All rights reserved.

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Staff Photographer: Jim Wilkins Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas.

Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month.

Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@ gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us.

The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gay-related news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate.

Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life.

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney.

Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv. us. Online edition of EC available at www. gayalliance.org.

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

NewsFronts

way for making her life hell by holding employee prayer meetings inside the restaurant where she worked for six years.

“He not only threatened her soul, but he also threatened her livelihood,” said Derek Smith, a lawyer for Salemi. “He thought praying might cure her of her sexuality, but she is someone who didn’t need to be saved.”

The Manhattan jury ordered the restaurant owner and Mary Ann’s to fork over $1.2 million in punitive damages and $400,000 in compensatory damages to Salemi, who quit in 2007.

Local and State

L.I. pharmacist arrested for HIV meds re-sale

Rich Fowler, Consumer and Community Relations Manager, at AIDS Care, Jill Baker, Marketplace Macy’s, Jennifer Pettiti, Marketplace Macy’s and William Kearns, Marketplace Macy’s, at the check presentation.

Macy’s gives AIDS Care $5000 Shop and Wrap grant Marketplace Mall Macy’s representatives, William Kearns, Jennifer Pettiti, and Jill Baker, presented AIDS Care with the New York State West District grant of $5000 to support the annual Shop and Wrap on March 21.

GALAXe Pride at Work founded the Shop and Wrap initiative, which is now in its 20th year serving patients and clients of AIDS Care.

The Shop and Wrap is an annual holiday event sponsored in partnership by both Macy’s and the Xerox Community Involvement Program.

It involves over 50 volunteers comprised of representatives from Macy’s, GALAXe Pride at Work and AIDS Care, as well as friends, families and local LGBT colleagues involved with the aforementioned organizations.

Volunteers shop for necessary items such as personal care products (shampoo, bandages, and toothbrushes), home cleaning and paper products, warm winter scarves and gloves, and simple holiday treats beforehand. The group then joins together at AIDS Care on a Saturday morning in early December to fill and wrap holiday boxes for those in need. In December 2011, over 60 volunteers participated and 200 boxes were filled and wrapped to benefit the patients and clients at AIDS Care, many of whom are too ill to work, have families to support and/or rely on public assistance, and cannot afford basic personal care necessities.

“AIDS Care is very grateful for the support from Macy’s throughout the years,” says Michael Beatty, Senior Vice President and Chief Operating Officer at AIDS Care. “Receiv-

ing this grant only further enhances the quality of care and service we can provide to our patients and clients, as well as raising community awareness and bringing together groups from different organizations to volunteer for our cause.”

Additionally, The Marketplace Macy’s has again selected AIDS Care as the benefactor of their annual “Bag Hunger” campaign which takes place in the summer months when food pantry supplies are more scarce and school meal programs are not offered. Jill Baker will continue as the Macy’s Executivein-Charge of the “Bag Hunger” event.

About AIDS Care AIDS Care was formed by the January 1, 2010 merger of AIDS Community Health Center and AIDS Rochester.

AIDS Care was created to bring together all the HIV/AIDS services patients and clients may need under one roof and it is the only organization in the Finger Lakes region exclusively focused on providing HIV/AIDS care and services.

AIDS Community Health Center, formerly known as Community Health Network, was founded in 1989 by two Infectious Disease physicians as a community medical and diagnostic clinic for those who were infected with HIV/AIDS. AIDS Rochester was established 26 years ago as part of the New York State Health Department’s network of Community Service Programs (CSPs).

The main offices of both organizations moved to one facility at 259 Monroe Avenue in October 2009. The new phone number for AIDS Care’s main office is 585-545-7200 and the company’s new website can be found at www.acRochester.org. AIDS Care also maintains satellite locations in Bath, Geneva, and on Central Avenue in downtown Rochester.

Lesbian chef wins $1.6 million in abuse lawsuit A NYC lesbian chef has won a $1.6M lawsuit against her former employer, who would gather staffers together to pray aloud that God would cure the gay ones.

Jurors awarded lesbian chef Mirella Salemi the payout in her battle against the former owner of Mary Ann’s on West Broad-

The New York Attorney General’s office has announced the arrest of a Long Island MOMS pharmacist and three others who have been accused reselling HIV medications which had been paid for by Medicaid. The drugs resold on the black market may have expired or are otherwise unusable, putting patients at grave risk for potentially fatal infections.

A pharmacist at the highvolume national HIV drug marketing business, which has sites in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and on Long Island, is charged along with three outside conspirators of running a $274 million black market venture. By relabeling prescription drugs of uncertain quality and origin, the defendants allegedly preyed on patients with HIV and cost the Medicaid program $155 million in New York. MOMS, whose parent is listed as Allion Healthcare, a Melville, L.I.-based company, billed New York State Medicaid for at least $155 million for these unusable drugs, according to New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. The AG’s office says Allion cooper(L.I. continues on page 6)

Tom Privitere accepts his award. Photo: Ove Overmyer

Black Trade Unionists give award to Tom Privitere

By Ove Overmyer Tom Privtiere, Gay Alliance board member and long time union activist, was given the Bill Lucy Award at the 12th Annual Coalition of Black Trade Unionists (CBTU) at Rick’s Prime Rib House on April 20.

Privitere is the NYS Public Employees Federation Director of Field Services for WNY and the Vice President of the Rochester Finger Lakes Chapter of Pride at Work, AFL-CIO. He was acknowledged for his lifetime commitment to working people.

Bill Lucy is a civil rights and labor union icon. He co-founded CBTU in September of 1972. CBTU consists of members from 77 international and national labor unions with 42 chapters across the country. The Rochester Chapter is arguably one of the strongest organizations in the nation.

CBTU seeks to fulfill the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King to build a national movement that would result in economic, social and political justice for every American. ■

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health New guide helps with hospital visitation rights The Human Rights Campaign and the American Health Lawyers Association on April 11 released a new healthcare guide, Revisiting Your Hospital’s Visitation Policy, to assist hospital administrators in revising hospital visitation policies to satisfy new requirements barring discrimination against LGBT patients and their families.

The Joint Commission standards and the new Medicare Conditions of Participation (CoPs) require hospitals to explain to all patients their right to choose who may visit them during an inpatient stay, regardless of whether the visitor is a family member, a spouse, a domestic partner, or another type of visitor. These changes also protect patients’ right to choose a representative to act on their behalf, requiring hospitals to give deference to patients’ wishes concerning their representatives.

Revisiting Your Hospital’s Visitation Policy can be viewed at www. healthlawyers.org/HospitalVisit.

“The Joint Commission standards and the regulations from the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services have set us on the path to LGBT healthcare equality,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “But even with this progress, the most well-intentioned hospital administrator may need help to best serve LGBT patients. We are proud to partner with the American Health Lawyers Association to provide this important resource, which complements our National LGBT Healthcare Equality Index for healthcare facilities.”

Revisiting Your Hospital’s Visitation Policy is a primer on what hospitals need to know to comply with accrediting criteria and federal regulations on LGBT-inclusive healthcare. As healthcare facilities transition to more LGBT-friendly policies and procedures, they can turn to HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index (HEI) for expert guidance, assessing their policies and operations against established best practices for LGBT-inclusive care.

The HEI also helps LGBT patients find healthcare free of prejudice and discrimination, empowering them to seek out healthcare providers who embrace LGBT healthcare equality. Learn more at www.hrc.org/hei. While the HEI is a vital tool for healthcare facilities and patients, all LGBT individuals can protect themselves from healthcare discrimination by creating legal documents, including a living will and healthcare power of attorney.

Learn more at www.hrc.org/protect-your-rights.

Last year, The Joint Commission released a field guide on LGBT patient-centered care: Advancing Effective Communication, Cultural Competence, and Patient- and Family-Centered Care for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community.

The field guide urges U.S. hospitals to create a more welcoming, safe, and inclusive environment for LGBT patients and their families. The Joint Commission is the nation’s largest accrediting organization for healthcare facilities, responsible for accrediting and certifying more than 19,000 healthcare organizations and programs in the United States. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

NewsFronts national and international Catholic students are angry at anti-gay indoctrination in school Knowing that they’d be eligible to vote in November, the administrators of a Minnesota Catholic high school held a seniors-only assembly in order to indoctrinate the entire class against same-sex marriage. The reaction of the students was unexpected.

“The first three-quarters of the presentation were really good,” said senior Matt Bliss. “They talked about what is marriage and how marriage helps us as a society. Then it started going downhill when they started talking about single parents and adopted kids. They didn’t directly say it, but they implied that kids who are adopted or live with single parents are less than kids with two parents of the opposite sex. They implied that a ‘normal’ family is the best family.

“When they finally got to gay marriage, [students] were really upset,” said Bliss. “You could look around the room and feel the anger. My friend who is a lesbian started crying, and people were crying in the bathroom.”

Bliss was one of several students who stood up to argue with the representatives from the archdiocese. One girl held up a sign that said, “I love my moms.”

Mike O’Keefe, a spokesman for the school, claimed that other students were angry that some of the students spoke out and thought that some of them were “rude” to the visitors from the archdiocese. “We weren’t being rude,” countered Lydia Hannah, another student who spoke out. “But people were upset, and we weren’t just going to sit there.”

According to one student, the presenters compared gay relationships to bestiality. That was also met with great objections.

-JoeMyGod.com

Chile passes pro-gay law after Zamudio killing Seven years after first being proposed, and only a week after gay man Daniel Zamudio died from injuries sustained during an attack by four neo-Nazis, on April 4 Chile’s House passed anti-discrimination legislation that includes gay people – in spite of the fact that Catholic and Protestant churches disapproved.

The nation’s Senate, the Washington Post reports, approved the bill last November. President Sebastian Pinera, a supporter of the law, will sign the legisla-

tion after a few more wrinkles are worked out.

The Post provides some more details: The House of Deputies approved the law in a close 58-56 vote, seven years after it was first proposed. The Senate passed the law in November. Some passages remain to be finalized in a commission of senators and House lawmakers. …After Zamudio died in late March, the U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights called for Chile to pass new laws against hate crimes and discrimination.

Some Protestant churches had opposed the anti-discrimination law, saying it could be a first step toward gay marriage, which Chile forbids and which is not explicitly included in the measure. The Roman Catholic Church also expressed some concerns about the law.

The law describes as illegal discrimination “any distinction, exclusion or restriction that lacks reasonable justification, committed by agents of the state or individuals, and that causes the deprivation, disturbance or threatens the legitimate exercise of fundamental rights.”

Towleroad comments: It’s too bad it took Zamudio’s brutal beating to finally get this law moving again, but at least his death was not in vain.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/2012/04/chile-passes-gay-discrimination-protections-following-danielzamudios-death.html#ixzz1rBLfkmu3

Detroit transwoman found dead; no arrests The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) reported on April 4 about the murder of Coko Williams, a transgender woman, in Detroit, Michigan.

Witnesses stated that suspects in the killing fled the scene. No arrests have yet been made in connection with Ms. Williams’ death. It has been widely reported that the murder occurred near Palmer Park in an area of Detroit known for sex work. However, it is not known if Ms. Williams was engaged in sex work at the time of her murder.

NCAVP’s most recent report, Hate Violence Against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and HIV-Affected Communities in the United States in 2010, documented 27 anti-LGBTQ murders, the second highest yearly total ever recorded by the coalition.

Transgender women made up 44 percent of the 27 reported hate murders in 2010, while representing only 11 percent of total survivors and victims. Among

transgender murder victims, 42 percent of transgender women killed last year were engaged in sex work at the time of their murder. NCAVP denounces violence against LGBTQ and all sex workers and seeks to raise awareness of the violence faced by LGBTQ-identified sex workers.

NCAVP is working with its member organization in Detroit, Equality Michigan, to offer assistance with their efforts to support the community during this critical time. NCAVP encourages anyone who has experienced violence to contact a local anti-violence program for support and to document this violence. For help locating an anti-violence program in your area, visit www.ncavp.org.

In the Rochester area, call the Community Safety program of the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 ext. 19, or email Kelly Clark at kellyc@gayalliance.org.

See the 10 ways healthcare reform impacts LGBT people On March 26, the first day of US Supreme Court oral arguments for the Affordable Care Act (ACA), Kellan Baker outlined 10 things health reform does for LGBT Americans in a feature for the Center for American Progress.

Data collection to better understand LGBT health disparities and a diverse and culturally competent healthcare workforce are included in the list.

For more information and to take a quiz, see: http://www.americanprogress.org/ issues/2012/03/aca_top_10_lgbt.html

Dr. Robert Spitzer repudiates study used by anti-gay groups In a move that serves as a significant blow to “ex-gay” programs and anti-gay organizations, Dr. Robert Spitzer repudiated his much-criticized 2001 study that claimed some “highly motivated” homosexuals could go from gay to straight. His retraction occurred in an American Prospect magazine article that hit newsstands April 11.

Spitzer’s rejection of his own research, which was originally published in the prestigious Archives of Sexual Behavior, is a devastating blow to “ex-gay” organizations because it decisively eliminates their most potent claim that homosexuality can be reversed through therapy and prayer.

“Dr. Spitzer’s repudiation of his 2001 study is an earthquake that severely undermines the validity of ‘ex-gay’ programs,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen, who criticized the study in his 2003 book, Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth. “Spitzer just kicked out the final leg from the stool on which the proponents of ‘ex-gay’ therapy based their already shaky claims of success.”

Spitzer’s 2001 study was a surprise and created a media firestorm because he

had previously led the charge in 1972-73 to remove homosexuality from the list of mental disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association. “At the time, this was a shocking story that captured the nation’s attention,” said TWO’s Besen.

“Dr. Spitzer was the last person in America one would have expected to produce a study bolstering the claims of ‘ex-gay’ activists.”

According to the American Prospect article: “In retrospect, I have to admit I think the critiques [of my study] are largely correct,” Dr. Spitzer told the American Prospect in an article by Gabriel Arana titled, My So Called Ex-Gay Life. “The findings can be considered evidence for what those who have undergone ex-gay therapy say about it, but nothing more.”

He said he spoke with the editor of the Archives of Sexual Behavior about writing a retraction, but the editor declined.

(Repeated attempts to contact the journal went unanswered.)

Spitzer said that he was proud of having been instrumental in removing homosexuality from the list of mental disorders.

Now 80 and retired, he was afraid that the 2001 study would tarnish his legacy and perhaps hurt others. He said that failed attempts to rid oneself of homosexual attractions “can be quite harmful.” He has, though, no doubts about the 1973 fight over the classification of homosexuality.

“Had there been no Bob Spitzer, homosexuality would still have eventually been removed from the list of psychiatric disorders,” he said. “But it wouldn’t have happened in 1973.”

Spitzer was growing tired and asked how many more questions I had. Nothing, I responded, unless you have something to add. He did. Would I print a retraction of his 2001 study, “So I don’t have to worry about it anymore”?

Dr. Spitzer’s research was particularly harmful because he was the only nonsocially conservative scientist to produce a study claiming some people could “pray away the gay.”

“This man is an atheist, so he’s not Bible thumping and doesn’t have an ax to grind,” said Greg Quinlan, President of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX), in an October 7, 2011 interview on NewsPlus with Mark Segraves. “He just decided, let’s talk about this ex-gay thing and see if it’s true. And he has concluded it can be true for people who are highly motivated to change.” PFOX currently has a video of Dr. Spitzer on the front page of its website.

“Virtually every anti-gay organization in the country quotes Dr. Spitzer’s work,” said TWO’s Wayne Besen. “It will be an Integrity Test to see which groups remove citations of his work in the coming week.

Those who continue to use his study to back their agenda are deliberately misleading people and we intend to hold them accountable.”

This is not the first major “ex-gay”

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet study to be debunked. For decades, antigay organizations gleefully pointed to Homosexuality in Perspective, a 1979 book written by Dr. William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, that claimed to cure gayness. Indeed, the husband-and-wife sex research team went on Meet the Press on April 22, 1979 to discuss their findings. In his groundbreaking 2009 book, Masters of Sex, author Thomas Maier discovered that the results of Masters & Johnson’s study were entirely fabricated.

Virginia Johnson acknowledged that the results were fake and she had actually argued in 1978 that the book should never have seen the light of day - but it was already too late in the publishing process to undo the damage.

“Fortunately, the Archives of Sexual Behavior can honor Dr. Spitzer’s wishes and retract his study,” said TWO’s Besen.

“They have an ethical and moral obligation to act as quickly as possible to right this terrible wrong that has fueled anti-gay campaigns for more than a decade.” Truth Wins Out praised Dr. Spitzer, saying that his admission has solidified his legacy as a respected doctor and significant historical figure.

“It is never easy to admit wrongdoing and Dr. Robert Spitzer deserves much credit for reversing course,” said TWO’s Besen. “He acted in a noble and honorable manner which is consistent with the vast majority of his career.”

Not one mainstream organization of medical and mental health professionals has found any evidence to support socalled “ex-gay” therapy; in fact, the evidence they have found suggests that it can actually be harmful to patients.

“Bully” gets PG 13 rating: youth can now see, learn from film Director Lee Hirsch and The Weinstein Company have announced that the documentary “Bully” received a “PG-13” rating from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) in time for the film’s April 13 expansion to 55 markets, and that despite three minor edits, a major scene in the movie that had been at the forefront of the film’s ratings battle has been kept intact.

The MPAA had been at the center of an extraordinarily popular online petition on Change.org, started by bullied high school student Katy Butler, urging the MPAA to drop the film’s original “R” rating, which was given because of some explicit language used by bullies in the movie. More than 500,000 people, including 35 Members of Congress and celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres, Michael Jordan and Meryl Streep, expressed their support for Butler’s petition.

“On behalf of the more than half a million supporters who joined me on Change.org in petitioning the MPAA, I want to express how grateful I am not only to the MPAA for lowering the rating without cutting a vital scene, but to all of the people who used their voices to

put a national spotlight on this movie and its mission,” said Butler, who started her campaign on Change.org after experiencing severe bullying in school. “The brief usage of language in this film reflects what so many kids hear each day in school when they’re being bullied. No one removes it from the halls and playgrounds of schools.”

Ben Rattray, founder and CEO of Change.org, congratulated Butler on her successful campaign to change the film’s rating to PG-13.

“Katy Butler has inspired so many people, and a ratings change, with her powerful campaign.” said Rattray. “When Katy began her campaign, many people doubted a 17-year-old girl would be able to change Bully’s rating. Change. org empowers people to stand up to bullies everywhere, from the classroom to the boardroom. Today’s news is yet another example of people using Change.org and the power of social networking to turn seemingly impossible challenges into real change.”

Butler said that the awareness her petition campaign created around bullying shows that there is a national movement of people who care about this issue and won’t let it be silenced.

“I wish ‘Bully’ was around when I was in middle school, and experienced some of the worst bullying I could imagine,” said Butler. “But it makes me incredibly happy that kids in middle school and high school today will be able to see a film like ‘Bully’ and share that experience with their friends.”

NOM moves Starbucks boycott into nations that execute homosexuals From JoeMyGod.com on April 10: In what may be their single-most outrageous and repulsive move yet, NOM is attempting to whip up anti-gay fervor by expanding their Starbucks boycott into nations that may put homosexuals to death or have other legal punishments for merely being gay.

Brian Brown exults: “In our first week, we gained 25,000* pledge signers in the U.S. alone; today we go international, expanding DumpStarbucks.com campaigns into Mandarin, Arabic, Turkish, Spanish, and Bahala (one of the chief languages of Indonesia) DumpStarbucks.com online ads will also start running in Egypt, Beijing, Hong Kong, the Yunnan region of China, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Oman and Kuwait. What happens in Seattle won’t to (sic) stay in Seattle. By making gay marriage core to his brand, Starbucks CEO Howard Schulz is telling millions of customers and partners who support traditional marriage in the Middle East, China, South America and North America that they aren’t truly part of the Starbucks community.”

Joe Jervis comments: Obviously the ads in Arabic and other languages won’t be seen only in the nations where the ad

buys are made. The internet, after all, has no boundaries. But here’s what goes on just a few of countries targeted by NOM: United Arab Emirates: Homosexuals can be put to death.

Kuwait: Homosexuals can be imprisoned for ten years.

Oman: Homosexuals can be imprisoned up to three years.

It cannot be any plainer. Taking a page from (homophobic preacher) Scott Lively, NOM is intent on whipping up anti-gay hatred in nations where our brothers and sisters already live their lives in quiet terror at best.

UPDATE: There is some disagreement regarding the UAE gay death penalty, which JMG linked from Wikipedia.

The ILGA says that issue is unclear.

Whether sodomy is punished with death penalty remains in dispute. The Arabic text of article 354 is ambiguously phrased and can be translated in different ways. Some sources indicate that the article punishes rape of a woman or forced sodomy with a man, while others indicate that it punishes rape on women and sodomy between men. (*For obvious reasons, Brown does not mention the over 640,000 people who supported Starbucks!)

GLAD has guide to Transgender Family Law Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders announces the publication of Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy, the first book to comprehensively address legal issues facing transgender people in the family law context and provide practitioners the tools to effectively represent transgender clients.

Featuring chapters by attorneys with expertise in both family law and transgender legal advocacy, the book was edited

by Jennifer L. Levi, director of GLAD’s Transgender Rights Project, and Elizabeth E. Monnin-Browder, a litigation associate in the Boston office of Ropes & Gray and a former GLAD attorney. Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy will be available in bound and electronic versions in May of 2012.

“Some of the most heartbreaking stories I have heard in my career as an LGBT legal advocate involve transgender people in family courts,” said Levi, a nationally recognized expert on transgender legal issues. “The rights of transgender people – as parents, spouses, and simply as human beings – are often trammeled in family court because of pervasive bias and misunderstanding. Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy is a road map for transgender individuals and their attorneys to navigate the family court system in this evolving area of law.”

“This book tackles a cutting edge area of family law and we’re thrilled to have contributions from some of this country’s most well-respected experts in this field,” said Monnin-Browder. “Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy details the unique needs and

5 vulnerabilities of transgender people in the family law context. I hope transgender people will read and share it with their attorneys as they plan a family, navigate the dissolution of a relationship or a custody dispute, or simply seek to protect their rights and those of their children.”

The chapters address a broad range of topics, including: Culturally Competent Representation, Recognition of Name and Sex, Relationship Recognition and Protections, Protecting Parental Rights, Relationship Dissolution Parental Rights after Relationship Dissolution, Custody Disputes Involving Transgender Children, Protections for Transgender Youth, Intimate Partner Violence, Estate Planning and Elder Law. In addition to chapters authored by Levi and Monnin-Browder, contributors to Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy include Kylar W. Broadus, Patience Crozier, Benjamin L. Jerner, Michelle B. LaPointe, Morgan Lynn, Shannon Price Minter, Zack M. Paakkonen, Terra Slavin, Wayne A. Thomas Jr., Esq., Deborah H. Wald and Janson Wu.

NOM-Romney connection grows closer The ties between Governor Mitt Romney, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, and the National Organization for Marriage, a national anti-gay group, are growing deeper by the day, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) says.

In addition to Romney’s “Free and Strong America” PAC giving a $10,000 contribution to NOM for Proposition 8, HRC has learned that two of NOM’s Directors, Craig D. Cardon and Broc Hiatt, have each donated $2,500 to Romney for President, Inc., this cycle (on 6/20/11 and 5/17/11, respectively).

“The more we learn about Romney’s close ties to NOM, the more anti-gay he looks – and is,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “You can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps, and who his maxed out donors are.”

Both Cardon and Hiatt are executives at The Vineyard Group, which gave $160,000 to the Yes on Prop 8 campaign.

Both are longtime supporters of Governor Romney, each giving the maximum $2,300 donation during his 2008 presidential bid, broken down as follows. · 1/8/07: Broc Hiatt Contributed $4,200 to Romney For President. · 2/12/07: Broc Hiatt Was Refunded $2,100 from Romney For President. · 3/27/07: Broc Hiatt Contributed $200 to Romney For President. · 1/8/07: Craig D. Cardon Contributed $4,200 to Romney For President. · 3/5/07: $2,100 Was Refunded To Craig Cardon By Romney For President.

[Source: Federal Election Commission] Hiatt and Cardon are listed on NOM’s (NOM-Romney continues page 6)

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page one ( Youth rally continued from page 1)

Kenneth Weishuhn

dent from Paullina, Iowa, took his own life after being bullied by classmates at South O’Brien school and online, and by death threats over the phone.

His sister Kayla said that “friends” at his school “turned on him” after he told them he was gay, and boys in her sophomore class started the bullying.

“She says they took their teases online, to websites like Facebook, creating a hate group against gays and adding Kenneth’s friends as members,” according to KTIV. “However, it was only the beginning; family say he started receiving death threats from South O’Brien students on his phone.”

KTIV reported that the school has opened an investigation of the “teases.”

GLSEN has said that the Day of Silence was created to save lives, and to honor the memory of young people whose voices have been silenced forever by the hatred promoted by the likes of Mat Staver and the Liberty Council. ■

( Wakeman continued from page 1) vinced her that the Gay Alliance plays a crucial role in the wellbeing of the area’s LGBT community, and in protecting gay people from bias and injustice. “The Gay Alliance is needed more than ever,” she says.

Anne’s role as mother was threatened when attorneys attempted to deny her custody of her children because she is a lesbian.

“For years, my sexuality was a major piece of the court proceedings,” she said.

“It really firmed my resolve that there is an ongoing need for the advocacy and education that the Gay Alliance provides -- just because a law exists doesn’t mean there aren’t abuses or that someone won’t try to take advantage of prejudice and use gay identity against you.”

In 2003, the opposing attorney actually shouted in court, during an initial custody discussion, “Your Honor, she’s a lesbian!”

Anne said, “In total, I spent six and a half years in court.” In 2004 the custody

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012 agreement and divorce were finalized, but within three months of the agreement, opposing attorneys started trying to reverse it. “They continued to claim that my sexuality was a legitimate reason as to why I should lose custody. By 2006, a motion was filed to change the custody arrangement, using the phrase ‘lesbian lifestyle’ again and again and again, and suggesting that was harmful to my kids.”

Although this did not succeed, and was finally settled on August 2, 2009, she says, “It was emotionally exhausting and it was abuse. One of the worst things you can do to a mother is threaten to take her children away.”

Anne continued, “That really shaped my attitude toward the Gay Alliance.

The more we can show people who we are, the harder it becomes for something like this to happen. I want people to be embarrassed to take things out on LGBT people, just as embarrassed as they are to use racial slurs. If the lawyer had said, ‘She’s dating an African American or a Latino,’ that would have ended very quickly. But because I was dating a woman, this kind of thing was admissible. I couldn’t believe this was happening in New York State in 2003 through 2009!”

Anne talked about her vision for her time as Interim ED. “One of the important aspects of the Gay Alliance is, in addition to education and advocacy, our community events. We want to maximize the reach of events we have to both the LGBT community and straight allies – but we want to do it efficiently. Process and efficiency are important because we are a small group. We want to maximize the programs for the dollars we are given.

“Education continues to be extremely important as part of our strategic plan,” Anne said. “We need to make sure we are advocating for Gay Alliance programs too, so people are aware of what’s happening. We have an extraordinary staff and that needs to be emphasized. Part of my job is making sure the community at large knows about the strength of the staff and how good each of them is, as well as looking at programs to make sure we’re as efficient as possible.

I want people to understand that in my period as Interim ED, the agency will continue to move forward. For instance, our Rainbow SAGE program will have some exciting announcements in the near future.”

Pride is coming soon. Anne said, “In terms of participation, Pride can be bigger and better every year. I see no reason why it shouldn’t be a big community event that includes the greater Rochester community. I can see Rochester embracing the Pride Parade as they do the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. I’d love it if people all around the Finger Lakes would come to Pride. That’s a reasonable expectation.

I don’t think Pride should be limited as far as who is included. We want to be inclusive rather than exclusive.” ■

local and state (L.I. Phamacist from page 3) ated in the investigation.

MOMS Pharmacy, which also has an outlet in San Francisco’s Castro, says they too are a victim of the scam and will fully cooperate with federal Medicaid fraud investigators. The four men are charged with grand larceny, money laundering, commercial bribery, and other crimes.

Off to Albany: Equality & Justice Day is May 8 The Empire State Pride Agenda’s Equality and Justice Day is May 8 in Albany. The main focus this year is passage of GENDA, the bill giving antidiscrimination protections to transgender New Yorkers.

There will be a rally, lobbying and many workshops, including “Building a Shelter of Peace: Youth Homelessness and Multi-Faith Organizing”; “Derailing Racism: Approaching Social Justice Work as White LGBTQ Activists”; “Going Public: Uncovering the Media Spokesperson in You”; “Out of the Closet: Domestic Violence and the LGBT Community”; “Political Engagement & Community Building with New Media” and “Why the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act is Important for All of Us” (with transgender activist Kate Bornstein).

The Pride Agenda will also host caucuses about issues facing LGBT people of color, people of faith, youth, seniors and the PFLAG community. See www.prideagenda.org.

Catholic Charities board member resigns after Dolan letter about youth A board member of Catholic Charities has resigned after reading Cardinal Timothy Dolan’s dismissive and arrogant response to Carl Siciliano, head of the Ali Forney Center for homeless LGBT youth: Joseph Amodeo quit after Dolan took umbrage at a letter from a group that works with homeless lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgender youths, asking the new Cardinal to cease his attacks on gay people and families.

“As a gay Catholic who teaches religious education (more than eight years in service to the Archdiocese of New York), is active in parish life and supports Catholic organizations, I’m afraid that the Archbishop has caused my heart to ache and my soul to feel pierced,” Amodeo wrote in his resignation letter. “With a discerning mind, I have tried to overlook the Cardinal’s actions and comments, but this has now become impossible in light of his curt words to the founder of the nonprofit Ali Forney Center and New York City’s homeless LGBT youth.” ■ (Joe.My.God.com, April 9)

national and international (NOM-Romney from page 5) 2009 and 2010 tax returns as “Directors” for NOM. Romney himself has signed NOM’s virulently anti-gay “marriage pledge” in which Romney promises, if elected, to set up a presidential commission to “investigate” gay Americans for alleged harassment and intimidation.

Two weeks ago, HRC unearthed secret NOM memos outlining a strategy to “drive a wedge between gays and blacks.”

Gay-bashing murders are on rise in Brazil The Daily Beast reports on the surging number of anti-gay murders in Brazil: Though the overall crime rate is down sharply in major cities, murders of gays and lesbians are on the rise. It’s especially acute in the most populous areas: Bahia, Minas Gerais, and the cities of Rio de Janeiro and São Paulo — precisely where police have made their biggest dents in criminal activity in general.

Attacks against gays have climbed steadily for most of the last decade, with 272 murdered in 2011 — one every 36 hours, according to Grupo Gay da Bahía, a leading gay rights group that tracks antigay violence.

This year, GGB reports, it’s even worse, with 75 murders in just the first 10 weeks. That’s one every 24 hours. The antigay surge may come as a double surprise. After all, Brazil is not just famous for its bonhomie, it’s also home to one of the best-organized gay rights movements anywhere, whose activists pride themselves in rolling out the biggest Gay Pride parade in the world.

But success has its price, The Daily Beast notes. As homosexuals have won a place for themselves, they also have become visible targets for bigots.

Archbishop of Wales: Welcome gays, accept marriage equality Archbishop of Wales Dr. Barry Morgan has called on the Anglican Church to welcome gay people, and accept marriage equality should it pass in the UK. In his presidential address to members of the Church in Wales’ Governing Body in Llandudno, North Wales, the archbishop called on fellow Anglicans to prove that the Gospel of Jesus was “good news” for gay people.

He said: “The Government’s consultation on civil marriage raises a whole host of theological questions for the church.

My concern is that in any discussion which might ensue on this, gay people may once more gain the impression the church is uncaring and unsympathetic.

(Archbishop continues page 11)

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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Interview photo: susan jordan

“I want youth to realize that they have power they don’t even know they have.” ~ Jamie Nabozny

Jamie Nabozny of “Bullied”

By Susan Jordan Jamie Nabozny grew up in Ashland, a small town in northern Wisconsin. When he was in middle school he was targeted for being gay and was bullied for years, ending with a beating that put him in hospital and required abdominal surgery.

Jamie then moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota.

After realizing that many other young people endured similar bullying, he decided to fight back. With the help of Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Jamie won a history-making lawsuit in federal court that established legally that all young people, including LGBT youth, deserve a safe school experience and an education free of daily physical and emotional torment.

Over a year ago, the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) produced a documentary titled “Bullied” that chronicles his life. Now Jamie speaks out for the millions of kids bullied in American schools every day. He shares his story nationwide, so that no child has to endure what he endured. Jamie was recently named a Defender of Human Rights by the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights.

Jamie lives in Minneapolis with his fiancé Bo Shafer. They purchased a home together and hope to eventually raise a family. They are planning to marry in Duluth this September.

Jamie spoke with the Gay Alliance Youth Group on April 5, and attended a screening of “Bullied” in the Youth Center. He also spoke with The Empty Closet about his experiences as an advocate for LGBT youth, about what has and has not changed in schools, and his advice for the youth he talks with.

Referring to his many speaking engagements, Jamie said, “My two busiest months are April and October – probably because of Coming Out Day and the Day of Silence. About 60 percent of my speaking engagements are at middle and high schools, about 30 percent colleges, and 10 percent trainings, conferences, and other presentations not associated with schools.

I try to meet with GLBT youth because I want to empower them and let them know that they have power now – they don’t have to wait.”

When asked how he feels about the “It Gets Better” videos, Jamie said, “I have mixed feelings. It’s good to give them hope for the future, but I haven’t made a video because I feel my role is working to make it better NOW. The hard part is, there are kids for whom it won’t get better. It’s good that President Obama and celebrities are doing this, though, because

it shows that they care.

“I want youth to realize that they have power they don’t even know they have.”

Jamie’s case began in 1993, and ended in 1996 when a federal court established that youth have the right to be safe in school. “It was the first time that that was made law,” Jamie said. Before the law, teachers, administrators and school boards could say (as many still do),”Oh, kids will be kids. All kids are cruel. We can’t protect effeminate boys or masculine girls – they should change their behavior instead. It’s the gay kids who are the problem, not the bullies.” Today such attitudes bring unwanted attention from the ACLU! Jamie feels there have been many changes since 1996, both for the better and for worse. On the positive side, Jamie said, “Kids are more connected now and don’t feel so alone. All I had was a clipping from a magazine and through that I was able to contact other gay kids. It was a lifeline for me.” He feels that social media and the Internet have enabled gay youth in isolated areas to reach that kind of lifeline – although social media are also used by bullies in increasing numbers, especially by girls.

Traditional schoolyard bullying was more a matter of males physically dominating other males and thus “proving” their “masculinity” – although Jamie feels that many bullies and gay-bashers are obsessed with gay sex and are in fact gay themselves. But the quickness, distance and anonymity of texting, email, Facebook, etc., have enabled girls to bully other girls much more than before.

Another major negative change since 1996 is the backlash factor. “Religious organizations, the media and politicians are putting out more negativity than ever,” Jamie said. “The environment created by dehumanizing GLBT youth makes it harder to reach bullies who are hearing this input from their parents, churches, even some teachers. Kids targeted years ago for not fitting gender stereotypes would be targeted now both for that and for being gay.”

Last year Jamie was named a Defender of Human Rights by the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights. He says, “I found out about it after it happened – I was being introduced (at a speaking engagement) and in my introduction they announced that I had won this award – which I had never heard about! And then I had to go ahead and give my speech. I did get invited to the big gala in NYC in early December.”

He said, “To me, this (award) elevates the issue of student safety to the level of human rights.” He feels that at least since the epidemic of youth suicides in fall 2010, the mainstream media have started

to pay much more attention to the issue.

However, he said, “The media still do not pay as much attention to suicides, or to violence against youth of color.”

Jamie feels that the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Teaching Tolerance program has made allies come forward and made the bullying issue in general much more visible. “I think SPLC has done so much,” he said. “When I do speaking engagements, I’m obviously gay and my story is on the screen, but I’m not talking about gay rights, but about bullying. I tell kids that bullying will continue to exist later in life in the form of social injustice – the bullies will go on to become right wing politicians or preachers. Bullying is just the beginning of lifelong injustice, so kids need to know they have to continue standing up against injustice – they will need to stand up both for themselves and for others.”

Jamie finds that students want to be safe in their schools, and most do not want to witness bullying and violence in the halls or bathrooms or on their playgrounds.

“I tell them, if you see bullying, speak up – find a teacher or counselor you can talk to and tell them what is happening.”

Jamie had not yet seen the new documentary “Bully.” Although he was invited to several premieres, his schedule did not permit him to attend. He was planning to attend the Minneapolis premiere later in April, however. He said, “I can’t keep up with the speaking requests I get. For every 50 I get I can do one. I wish I could do more.” He said he especially likes to be invited to speak at small or rural schools.

Jamie and his partner are hoping to adopt in a few years. “Right now,” he says, “I’m so busy traveling and it wouldn’t be fair to my partner to have to be essentially a single parent. We did get a puppy though! That’s a start.

“I have no idea how long I’ll be doing this. I thought the interest would die down a year after my film came out, but I’m even busier now.” He thinks this may be because bullying continues to be so much in the news.

Hopefully, the day when this kind of behavior is almost unheard of is not too far away. But Jamie Nabozny knows that progress will be neither quick nor easy. “We try to make change come more quickly, but it will come when it comes.

But it WILL come.” ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

Making the Scene

DOS: Scenes from the Day of Silence at Tilt, April 20. Photos: Jeff Mills

My Own Private Rochester: Dontaee Williamson

By Susan Jordan Dontaee Williamson, 18, has been a GAGV Youth Group member for several years, and has helped to organize the Day of Silence, Youth Pride activities and many other projects. He is a GLSEN team leader and last year was part of a group of youth leaders who went to the White House and met with President Obama.

Dontaee is a senior at School of the Arts (SOTA), majoring in theatre and dance. He was born in Middletown, Ct., and moved to Rochester with his family at age 6. As he got older and entered middle school and then high school, he says, “I definitely got bullied for being gay, from around the 8th grade. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I found out about the Gay Alliance Youth Group three years ago.

“I led a closeted life. I had clothes I changed into after school – I would come to the GAGV and change. Everything there was nice, people were nice. Right away I knew that. I made friends and shared my story and beliefs.”

Dontaee became a GLSEN member in 2010. Last year he became one of the student team leaders. He became involved with organizing Youth Group activities

Dontaee meets President Obama at the White House.

Dontaee at Village Gate. Photos: Susan Jordan

like Drop In, Day of Silence and Youth Group Student Council. He said, “I went to GLSEN camp in NYC – me and Jess (Cohen, Youth Services Director) went.

Then we went a few months later to the White House and met the President. It was a dream come true – working with Jess and shaking hands with the President.

“I asked him to keep supporting LGBT students, and he said, ‘No problem, that’s my job.’ We shook hands and we hugged.”

This year Dontaee and Jess attended the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Creating Change conference in Baltimore, representing GLSEN. Dontaee said, “The Creating Change conference was about just that – and about changing yourself as well as society.”

He and Jess went back to Baltimore in late April, to attend GLSEN’s Students of Color conference. He was selected as one of the two top student leaders of the year.

Dontaee is also in the local mentor program for Lifespan, undergoing the training process that will move him from “mentee” to mentor, able to help and support younger youth. He said, “When you are a ‘mentee’ you are paired with an adult who

takes you out, spends time with you and is just there for you when you want to talk.”

Dontaee likes to hang out at Equal=Grounds. “I love it there,” he said, “because it’s in the South Wedge, which is beautiful, and it’s gay-friendly. You get to meet people and make connections, which is important.”

Dontaee loves sushi, and his favorite restaurant is California Rollin’ at Village Gate, which he enjoys for all the shops – especially Outlandish. He loves Garth Fagan Dance and RAPA and has taken dance lessons from both. “I love Push Physical Theatre and danced with them on Easter Sunday. We’re family friends with the Stephenson family that runs it,” he said.

He also loves Geva and especially enjoys musicals there, at Downstairs Cabaret and at RBTL’s Auditorium Theatre.

“My favorite musical is ‘West Side Story,’” he reveals. Movies are another favorite and he recently loved “Pariah.”

Dontaee’s favorite Rochester group is of course the Gay Alliance Youth Group, especially the Teen Group which meets on Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m. He adds, “I love my Rocky Horror group, which was founded

by Youth Group members Desiree and Jackie – but anyone can join. Our show lasts about an hour and a half, and we’re doing it again this month.”

His favorite LGBT events include the Day of Silence, which he helped to organize again this year. “I like to see all the youth coming together and being who they are and getting along,” he said. Some other Rochester favorites are the Lilac Festival and the Pride Parade, Festival and Picnic. He helps with planning the Youth Picnic, which takes place during the Pride Picnic in Genesee Valley Park.

Dontaee is biking in June’s Ride for Pride again this year. He also enjoys running and playing volleyball. After graduation he wants to major in social work and communication at MCC, and plans to continue with dance. He will take next fall off to work and travel, and will start at MCC in January 2013. Over the summer he will visit family in Georgia and friends in Ohio.

However, he says nothing can match his experience last summer, when he went with a group from SOTA to the acclaimed Edinburgh Festival in Scotland. They performed “New York,” a series of monologues about 9/11 which have been put together to create a play. “I played the Firefighter,” he said. ■

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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KATE THE GREAT: Kate Clinton schmoozes with Rochestarians before her April performance marking ImageOut’s 20th anniversary. Top left: Kate with Michael Gamilla. Top center: Kate with Gerry Szymanski. Photos: Garnetta Ely

national and international (Archbishop continued from page 6) “If the legislation to allow civil marriage is passed, I cannot see how we as a church will be able to ignore the legality of the status of such partnerships and we ought not to want to do so.

“The question is, will the church protect and support pastorally faithful, stable, lifelong relationships of whatever kind in order to encourage human values such as love and fidelity? Things could be said in the coming months which I think could seriously damage people pastorally.”

“Rev. Andrew Morton, vicar of Llangybi, Monmouthshire, who recently announced his intention to resign in an effort to move forward efforts to secure the full inclusion of gays and lesbians in the church,” responded to Wales Online that it is clear there were same-sex unions that were “as full of grace as many heterosexual relationships.”

Predicting some disquiet in the denomination as a result of the speech, he said: “I don’t think he will gain universal approval and I think there are some people who will be aghast [who] will think he’s sold out to political correctness which is a nonsense. Anybody who knows Barry knows he couldn’t give a monkey’s about political correctness.”

Instead, Mr. Morton said, the archbishop’s priority was identifying “truth”.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz1sOkHeG5l

NGLTF Awards Weekend is May 4-6 in D.C. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s annual Washington, D.C., event, Pink & Purple Weekend, is returning

May 4–6 with a lineup of events geared toward LGBT people and their families.

The weekend kicks off with the Pink & Purple Sunset: a Women’s Event, on Friday, May 4 from 5:30–10 p.m. This event will be held on the rooftop deck of the Capitol Hill Liaison Hotel and will feature DJ Whitney Day, who has played for the Task Force’s Winter Party Festival.

The night also includes hors d’oeuvres, drink specials, raffles and giveaways.

Immediately following the Sunset event, Cobalt will be hosting the Pink & Purple Party. A new addition to the lineup, this themed dance party will feature the sounds of Los Angeles-based DJ Paulo. All guests will be encouraged to dress up in pink and purple. If they do, they will be entered to win two gold passes to the 2013 Winter Party Festival.

The weekend culminates with the Pink & Purple Recognition Awards, taking place at the Mayflower Hotel on Sunday, May 6, from 10:30 a.m.–2 p.m.

This annual event honors leaders and allies who are at the forefront of pushing equality forward. Ingrid Duran and Catherine Pino will be honored not only for their work on LGBT issues, but across a multitude of issues, including women’s and Latino/a issues. NGLTF will also be presenting an award to Dee Rees and the filmmakers of “Pariah” for its accurate portrayal of the sensitive issues surrounding the complex identity among families and individuals of color.

Sponsors and hosts are Sanford and Doris Slavin Foundation, David M. Perez and Ruben J. Gonzales, Miguel Ayala, Russell Roybal, Anabel Evora. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force National Corporate Partners: American Airlines, Brinker International, Grey Goose, Showtime, Wells Fargo.

Sponsorships, tickets and hosting opportunities are all available online at www.theTaskForce.org/pinkandpurple.

To learn more about the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, visit www.theTaskForce.org and follow on Twitter: @ TheTaskForce.

Cub Scouts dismiss lesbian den mother; she starts online petition More than 115,000 people have signed a petition on Change.org started by Jennifer Tyrrell, a mother of a seven-year-old Cub Scout who was dismissed from her position of den leader by the Boy Scouts of America for being gay.

Jennifer was removed from the position in March 2012 after nearly a year of exemplary service, during which her scouts were honored for their commitment to volunteerism, leadership, and community service.

Video of Tyrrell, her partner Alicia Burns and their four children sharing their story at the GLAAD Media Awards is available here: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=7WuqLJtoXyY. Her petition is available at http://change.org/scouts.

Jennifer’s petition urges the Boy Scouts of America to end their long-held policy that forbids lesbian, gay bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and gay LGBT leaders from participating in scouting. Her petition has drawn support from more than 115,000 Americans, including hundreds of current boy scouts, scout leaders, and former scouts. Celebrities including Josh Hutcherson, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Max Adler (Glee), Grant Gustin (Glee), Benicio del Toro, Chaz Bono, Tabatha Coffey, Mark Deklin (GCB), Trevor Donovon (90210), Laura san Giacomo, LZ Granderson, Joshua Jackson, Gilles Marini, Kyle Richards (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), Miriam Shor (GCB), Hudson Taylor, Lisa VanderPump (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), and Kim Wayans (Pariah) showed sup-

port for Jennifer’s campaign at the 23rd Annual GLAAD Media Awards this past weekend.

“The Boy Scouts are supposed to have a platform of tolerance, acceptance, and support -- values that drew my son Cruz to be a scout, and that drew me to want to be a den leader,” said Tyrrell. “Yet by continuing to dismiss gay youth and gay leaders from their organization, the Boy Scouts of America is failing these values, harming families and communities by sending a message that all are not welcome.”

Bob Drury, a scout executive for the Ohio River Valley, attempted to defend the decision to discriminate to WTOVTV. “We do not grant membership to individuals who are open or avow homosexuals,” said Drury. “The mission of the Boy Scouts of America is to develop a character and leadership skills and [for] the youth of today to become the leaders of tomorrow. And anything that distracts from that mission, distracts from what our program is.” WTOV-TV reported that the decision was “solely based on her sexual orientation.”

Tyrrell responded: “Boy Scouts is about teaching kids to be better adults.

We’re not doing that by teaching them to hate or discriminate. They know that I care about them, that I lead them and that they can trust me. This is about parents being able to bond with their children. The Boy Scouts of America have denied me the ability to bond with my son and are teaching children to treat others unfairly.”

Among service organizations, the Boy Scouts are increasingly isolating themselves with their prohibition on gay youth and leaders. Organizations including the Girl Scouts of America, the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, as well as the 4H Club all welcome gay kids as well as adult lead(Cub Scouts continues page 14)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

New bookcases transform Gay Alliance Library The scene was bustling at the GAGV Library & Archives on Saturday, April 14.

Twenty-nine volunteers transformed the library over the course of the morning, installing twelve new bookcases and labeling thousands of books.

The event happened thanks to funding from the Xerox Community Involvement Program (XCIP), secured by library volunteer and Xerox employee Jeff Fowler.

XCIP enables service projects with lasting impact that involve Xerox employees as volunteers and benefit non-profit organizations like the Gay Alliance.

Before the project, most of the books in the Library & Archives were shelved in donated or “economy” bookcases. These bookcases were built for home use, not the kind of heavy use subjected by a community library. New bookcases were needed not only to improve the mechanics of browsing the collection, but also for safety and the preservation of the books themselves. With considerable help from generous designated gifts, the GAGV has been replacing the old shelves with sturdy hardwood bookcases that will hold up long-term. The problem was that budgets didn’t allow replacing all of the old bookcases before they literally fell apart.

With the project funded by the Xerox Community Involvement Program, the GAGV was able to get ahead of the problem. Not only did the XCIP fund a library full of bookcases, but the volunteers installed them all in one morning.

The concentrated effort prevented the library from having to suspend its regular operations for several weeks to install the new bookcases. With the new bookcases, the library finally boasts a consistent collection of shelving, with enough space for years to come.

Coordinated by library staff volunteers Gerry Szymanski, Jeff Fowler,

LIBRARY TRANSFORMATION: On April 14, the Gay Alliance Library got its new bookshelves, through funding from Xerox. Now volunteers will be able to replace the Dewey decimal system with Library of Congress numbers, so that the Library can get a standardized online catalogue. Above: Volunteers re-shelving fiction books during the transformation: (L-R) Chris Fisher, Bob Keck, Bruce Woolley, Jeff Freeland, Nick Dennie, Eric Rodriguez, Richard Collier-Morris. Photo: Gerry Szymanski

and Tara Winner, twenty-nine volunteers worked for about four hours. Volunteers were split roughly equally among regular library staff volunteers, Xerox employees, other professionals from Out & Equal NY Finger Lakes, and other friends and partners.

Some volunteers set up tables, moved library furniture, and prepared and installed the new shelves. Another crew moved shelves and shelves of books onto tables in the foyer, keeping careful watch to keep them in order.

Other volunteers worked on adding new call number labels to the fiction, fiction anthology, DVD, CD, journal, biography, poetry, young adult and children’s sections. Still others started the process of converting the non-fiction section from Dewey Decimal to Library of Congress classification to better divide the subject

matter. The new labels represent another milestone for the library, making the collection easier to browse and easier to keep organized.

In just a few hours, all of the old bookcases were removed, new bookcases were installed and thousands of books were labeled and organized. The library was reassembled by 12:30 p.m., ready for regular operations.

Thanks to the Xerox Community Involvement Program, all of the dedicated library volunteer staff, the GAGV agency and all the friends who supported this transformational project. The transformation was effected without interruption to regular operating hours. Everyone is encouraged to stop by to see the tremendous progress! The library is open Monday and Wednesday evenings from 6 to 8 p.m. ■

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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national and international (Cub Scouts continued from page 11) ers. And just this month, the president of the James Beard Foundation announced that she would rescind her acceptance of the Boy Scouts’ Distinguished Citizen Award, noting the Scouts’ policy prohibiting gay people from service and leadership.

“The tide is turning. Look at the number of current and former scouts signing this petition, as well as the overwhelming support I’ve received in my own community from the scouts and families I used to lead,” said Tyrrell. “Together we can be heard, and this movement can send a message to the Boy Scouts that their policies against gay youth and gay leaders create nothing but division, frustration, and pain for scouting families and communities.”

Live signature totals from Jennifer Tyrrell’s campaign: http://www.change.org/scouts Jennifer’s speech at the GLAAD Media Awards in Los Angeles: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=7WuqLJtoXyY

White House backs Safe Schools Improvement Act On GLSEN’s 17th annual Day of Silence, the White House released a statement of support endorsing the Safe Schools Improvement Act (SSIA) and the Student Non-Discrimination Act (SNDA).

U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan commented on the Student NonDiscrimination Act And The Safe Schools Improvement Act, “Bullying can no longer be seen as a normal rite of passage. As a country, we must all work together to take action against bullying and improve the safety climates of our schools and communities. That’s why I support the Student Non-Discrimination Act and the Safe Schools Improvement Act. I would like to thank Sen. Al Franken, Sen. Bob Casey, Rep. Jared Polis and Rep. Linda Sanchez for introducing these bills and for their commitment to putting an end to bullying, discrimination and harassment in our nation’s schools. I also want to thank Rep. Danny Davis for his leadership on this issue to help keep every student safe and learning.”

GLSEN commented, “Today’s announcement is a vital show of support to students everywhere of all identities, backgrounds and beliefs who face daily bullying and harassment in school. By speaking out on GLSEN’s Day of Silence in support of these two critical pieces of legislation, President Obama has given greater hope to students who often feel that they have nowhere to turn “It is deeply moving to know that LGBT students who face the multiple threats of discrimination, harassment and violence have the President as an ally in their efforts to win all of the protections that they deserve.

“Our good friend Sirdeaner Walker,

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012 who has been a champion of this legislation, said, ‘Today is a day that I have hoped for since I began my work as an anti-bullying advocate after losing my son Carl. I believe that President Obama’s explicit endorsement of the Safe Schools Improvement Act will make a tremendous difference in moving this issue forward.’”

Sirdeaner added, “Having met with the President three times, I knew his support for SSIA and the Student Non-Discrimination Act was genuine. While nothing can bring Carl back, I know that these bills can make a real difference to end the bullying and harassment that is faced by too many other sons and daughters today.”

Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama, released the following statement: Recently, I watched the movie BULLY with my mom. We were both deeply moved by the film and the stories it tells of students, families, and communities impacted by bullying.

Earlier today, we screened BULLY at the White House. We were joined by bullying prevention advocates from a range of communities – LGBT, AAPI, faith, disability, and others – as well as educational partners and key Obama Administration staff who work on these issues every day, including Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. Before the film, a panel of nationally recognized experts on bullying prevention spoke from their perspectives about challenges and opportunities, and after the film, we heard from Lee Hirsch, the director and filmmaker, and several of the students and families who were directly impacted by bullying and intolerance and whose stories were featured in the film.

This film is a powerful call to action: We must do everything we can to work toward the day when no young person or family suffers the pain, agony, and loss caused by bulling in our schools and communities.

In the last few years, President Obama and his Administration have taken significant steps towards this goal.

In March of 2010, we held the firstever White House Conference on Bullying Prevention, attended by both the President and First Lady. The conference brought together students, teachers, advocates, the private sector, and policymakers, to discuss ways to make our schools safer. President Obama explained it this way: “If there’s one goal of this conference, it’s to dispel the myth that bullying is just a harmless rite of passage or an inevitable part of growing up. It’s not.”

The President recorded a video for the It Gets Better Project, and so did the Vice President, Cabinet Secretaries, and members of the White House Staff.

The Department of Education has issued guidance to schools, colleges, and universities, making it clear that existing civil rights laws apply to bullying. Schools have not just a moral responsibility, but a legal responsibility, to protect our young people from harassment. They have also worked with states to help them in their own anti-bullying efforts, and recently

released a report that documents key components of anti-bullying laws across all 50 states. And the Department of Education has issued guidance to Governors and state school officials, in order to help them incorporate the best practices for protecting students.

We recently re-launched StopBullying.gov, a website that contains detailed descriptions of the work we’re doing on bullying, along with resources for young people, parents, and educators.

We’ve partnered with businesses, foundations, non-profits, and universities that are coming up with new, creative ways to make our schools safe.

And recently, the Departments of Education and Justice reached a landmark settlement in the Anoka-Hennepin School District after an extensive investigation into bullying and harassment against students who are or are perceived to be LGBT. These Administrative actions have been critically important – and effective – and we will continue to work across the entire Federal government to address and prevent bullying.

We also hope that Congress will take action to ensure that all students are safe and healthy and can learn in environments free from discrimination, bullying, and harassment by passing the Student NonDiscrimination Act (SNDA) and the Safe Schools Improvement Act (SSIA). These pieces of legislation are critically important to addressing bullying in our schools and safeguarding our most vulnerable students. The Student Non-Discrimination Act, sponsored by Senator Al Franken of Minnesota, and Representative Jared Polis of Colorado, would prohibit discrimination in public schools against any student on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity.

And the Safe Schools Improvement Act, sponsored by Senator Bob Casey of Pennsylvania and Representative Linda Sanchez of California, would require school districts to adopt codes of con-

duct specifically prohibiting bullying and harassment, including on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, and religion.

I would also like to thank Illinois Representative Danny Davis for his advocacy on this issue. All of our students have the same right to go to school in an environment free of discrimination and harassment, and that’s why the President supports these two important pieces of legislation and wants to work with Congress as they move forward in the process Every day, we are striving to do our part to make progress. And I believe that day by day, step by step, we will change not just our laws and policies, but behavior, so that every young person is able to thrive in our schools and communities, without worrying about being bullied.

HRC says Republican candidate opposes antibullying law The Human Rights Campaign is calling out New Mexico U.S. Senate candidate Heather Wilson for remarks in which she actually blasts legislation meant to protect children because it supposedly “criminalizes” what she refers to as “teasing.”

In video captured by the group American Bridge, Wilson says of the Student Non-Discrimination Act (SNDA): “…but that particular act is so broad that it would actually punish children, or say it’s prohibited to express an opinion with respect to homosexuality in schools.”

“Heather Wilson’s remarks are shockingly ignorant and show how unaware she is of the realities kids face in school on a daily basis,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “Bullying and harassment of kids who are LGBT, or who are perceived to be LGBT, is a serious problem. Our lawmakers have a moral obligation to protect children. Heather Wilson should be sending a message that verbal and physical abuse is never acceptable behavior. Instead, she’s

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MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet human being is never acceptable, regardless of your personal beliefs. Heather Wilson should immediately amend her remarks to demonstrate she understands just how dangerous a problem bullying is for students.”

Trans women may now compete in Miss Universe Pageant GLAAD and the Miss Universe Organization announced on April 10 that after more than two weeks of discussions, the Miss Universe Organization is close to finalizing an official policy change that will allow women who are transgender to participate in its beauty competitions.

GLAAD first contacted the Miss Universe Organization on March 24 after news broke that Jenna Talackova was disqualified from the Miss Universe Canada competition. GLAAD called on the Miss Universe Organization to review Jenna’s case, as well as open the competition to transgender women.

To further demonstrate its commitment, the organization, in consultation with GLAAD, discussed a policy change that includes transgender women in time for the start of this fall’s 2013 pageant season; a time when most of the competitions around the world begin to take place.

“For more than two weeks, the Miss Universe Organization and Mr. (Donald) Trump made it clear to GLAAD that they were open to making a policy change to include women who are transgender,” said GLAAD spokesperson Herndon Graddick. “We appreciate that he and his team responded swiftly and appropriately. The Miss Universe Organization today follows institutions that have taken a stand against discrimination of transgender women including the Olympics, NCAA, the Girl Scouts of America and The CW’s America’s Next Top Model.” ■

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saying harassment based on someone’s real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity is a normal way for bullies to express their opinion.”

Heather Wilson formerly represented New Mexico’s first Congressional district in the House of Representatives. She has an anti-LGBT track record – she’s voted against workplace protections for LGBT employees and supports a discriminatory federal marriage amendment that would ban committed, loving same-sex couples from marrying. She performs poorly on HRC’s Congressional Scorecard regularly, most recently receiving a 5 – out of a possible 100.

In reality, SNDA would prohibit public schools from discriminating against any student on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. Discrimination and harassment of students who are LGBT, or are perceived to be LGBT, can lead high rates of absenteeism, dropout, adverse health consequences and academic under achievement. When left unchecked, such discrimination can lead, and has led to, dangerous situations for young people. SNDA is a critical step forward in addressing the discrimination that LGBT students face every day in their schools and classrooms.

SNDA does not inhibit constitutionally guaranteed freedoms of speech and expression for individuals and student groups. Language in SNDA recognizes that nothing in the Act alters the legal standards and rights available to individuals or religious and other student groups under the First Amendment and the Equal Access Act. SNDA prohibits discrimination, including severe, persistent or pervasive harassment; it does not prevent an individual or organization from expressing disagreement with an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

“Heather Wilson isn’t just disagreeing with SNDA from a policy perspective, she is devaluing the everyday experiences, health, and safety of LGBT youth,” HRC said. “Bullying or harassing another

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Exhibit on Nazi persecution of gays opens at JCC on May 24

By Susan Jordan The Jewish Community Center (JCC) will host the opening of “Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals 1933-1945” on May 24.

This important traveling exhibit of photographs and historical artifacts comes from the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. The opening at the JCC, 1200 Edgewood Ave., will include a talk by Rabbi David Horowitz, national PFLAG president, on “How to be a straight ally.” The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will sing and there will be a dessert reception. See this page for a full, updated list of events related to the exhibit, which will run through July 19.

Ralph Meranto of the JCC told The Empty Closet, “The Jewish Community Center of Greater Rochester has truly embraced the word ‘community’ in our title. We have a long tradition of inclusiveness and welcoming people from all communities. This exhibition continues our ongoing commitment to the LGBT community, which has included partnerships between the Rochester Jewish Film Festival and Image Out and hosting an Out and Equal networking event, as well as Gay Alliance fundraisers during our CenterStage Theatre productions of Rent, The Producers and My Mother’s Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding. We could not be more proud of the massive community support for these efforts which has made this exhibition possible.”

The EC also spoke with Bonnie Abrams of CHAI (Center for Holocaust Awareness and Information), which is part of the Jewish Federation of Rochester, and a community partner in the exhibition. The Federation is the central planning, fund raising and community relations organization for the Rochester Jewish community, which supports five

beneficiary agencies locally and social and humanitarian programs and services in Israel and around the world. Chai means “life.”

Bonnie Abrams, the child of Holocaust survivors, works with local survivors and educates in schools, from middle schools to colleges.

She told The Empty Closet, “To me as a Holocaust educator, it’s logical to partner any exhibit about any persecuted peoples. I always like to help people understand Bonnie Abrams that though the Jews were the primary targets of the Nazis, many other groups were also persecuted.”

To the generation that grew up after World War II, the Nazis represent the ultimate in human evil. But Bonnie Abrams feels that many young people today have little information about this history and do not understand what the Nazis did.

She noted, “A Holocaust survivor said to me, ‘If the Holocaust hadn’t happened, no one would ever believe that it could be anything but fiction.’”

She said, “I look for any opportunity to educate people about how something that may start as a prejudiced attitude could end in violence. A lot of people who come to the exhibit may already be supportive, but I hope that a lot of young people will see it and it will reach them before they become bigoted – and I hope it will open some minds. That is why we are having an interschool program in conjunction with the exhibit on May 30, called ‘Learning from the Holocaust: Challenging Persecution of The Other.’”

Abrams was unable to locate any area survivors who had observed Nazi oppression of gays during or before the war. As far as is known, the last gay survivor died last year (see April Empty Closet). She said, “Just as there were Jews who were perse-

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cuted and after the war continued to hide their Jewish identity, so I wouldn’t be surprised if gay survivors still exist who have always been closeted.”

She commented, “I see kids using swastikas and they have no idea what it means. They just know it’s something that adults are upset by. That’s why I like to educate kids about what the Nazis did. This is life changAn archival photo. ing for many kids who just weren’t aware. The most important toward immigrants,” she said. “It’s ironthing I do is bring Holocaust survivors ic that you can go through every era of to speak at schools, and to community immigration -- people came here to seek groups, churches etc. They hear the survitheir own freedom and then they want to vors talk and realize this isn’t just a story deny that to the next group. The Torah – it’s real, and it affects them. It’s very eyesays, ‘You shall neither wrong a stranger, opening for them, even to the point where nor oppress him; for you were strangers in they can relate it to their own lives.” the land of Egypt.’ It’s something we read Abrams mentioned the book “Survival in the Haggadah during Passover.” in the Shadows,” by Barbara Lovenheim.

Abrams went on, “From a personal It is a CHAI publication which tells the standpoint, it’s a wonderful exhibit for story of two local survivors, the late Ellen our community. Generally speaking, we and Erich Arndt, and how they were have good gay/straight relations here in among the largest group of Jewish surRochester, so this is likely to get support vivors to successfully hide in Berlin itself from people here. It’s great that there are until the end of the war. She said, “They so many community partners of different credited their survival to over 50 ordinary faiths and backgrounds, as we will see at German citizens. It’s hard to imagine the panel of faith leaders.” that so many Germans were ‘helpers’ and Some of the events which will take saved Jewish lives, when that could have place in the next two months are not cost their own lives and those of their directly related to the Nazis. For instance, families.” the film “Two Spirits” is about a transgeShe points out that the United States nered Navajo youth who was murdered, was not exactly eager at first to help Jewand “Gen Silent” is about gay elders. ish refugees, as in the notorious case of “That’s what I think is so powerful,” Abrams said. “As a child of Holocaust the ship St. Louis, which was turned away survivors, everything in my life has been from Cuba and from safety in the U.S. in connected to the Holocaust, but I feel 1939 and had to return to Europe, where we need to draw lessons in contemporary many of its passengers had to remain in society from this unspeakable chapter in countries that were soon overrun by the history. Kids need to understand ‘what Nazis. “To me, that’s a very powerful story this has to do with me.’” ■ about our own country and its attitude

PROGRAM AND EVENTS Weds. May 23: Pre-Exhibition Supper and Learn with Rabbi David Horowitz.

How to support LGBTQ family members and friends. RSVP by May 19.

Thurs. May 24; Opening Night Celebration, 7 p.m. Presentation by Rabbi David Horowitz, president of national PFLAG. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus, reception. Free admission. RSVP. Wednesday, May 30: Lunch and Learn with Edward Phillips, Director of Museums, U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, curator of exhibition. Free event.

Thursday May 31: Watch & Discuss: an exhibition-related film series.

Free screenings, discussions in JCC Senior Adult Lounge. 7 p.m. “Hineini”: a teenage girl comes out in a Jewish high school.

Thursday June 7: Watch & Discuss: Regional Premiere of “Love Free or Die,” about Bishop Gene Robinson. JCC Senior Adult Lounge. 7 p.m.

Discussion moderated by Rev. Michael Hopkins, Sponsored by Oasis Rochester, LGBT ministry of Episcopal Diocese of Rochester.

Sunday, June 10: CenterStage Reader Theatre Series: “Bent” by Martin Sherman. Play about Nazi persecution of gay men. Script-in-hand readings in JCC Hart Theatre, 7 pm. Free, no reservations required.

Tuesday, June 12: VisitRochester Hospitality U: The LGBT Market, with David Paisley from Community Marketing Inc. (San Francisco). VisitRochester members: $20. Non-members: $40. RSVP: for this event only call 585-279-8300.

Thursday, June 14: Panel Discussion: LGBTQ and Religion: The Struggle for Inclusiveness. Moderator: John Clinton Bradley, Episcopal Diocese. Free.

Tuesday, June 19: Watch & Discuss: Reception and Film: Excellus presents “Gen Silent”. Sponsored by Gay Alliance. Free event. JCC Senior Adult Lounge. 7 p.m.

Thursday June 21: Watch & Discuss: “Two Spirits.” Film on the life and untimely death of transgender Navajo teen Fred Martinez. A partner program with WXXI. Free event. JCC Senior Adult Lounge. 7 p.m.

Sunday June 24: CenterStage Reader Theatre Series: “No Word in Guyanese for Me,” by Wendy Graf. New play about average American teenager who is also a Muslim lesbian from Guyana in post-9/11 Queens, NY. Script-inhand readings in JCC Hart Theatre, 7 pm.

Thursday June 28: Watch & Discuss: “A Love to Hide.” Film about young gay couple and Jewish friend in WWII France. Discussion moderated by Professor Charles Clarke, MCC. Free event. JCC Senior Adult Lounge. 7 p.m.

Sunday July 1: CenterStage Reader Theatre Series: “The Zero Hour” by Madeline George. Lesbian relationship starts to unravel as one woman hides her sexuality. JCC Hart Theatre, 7 pm.

July 19: Closing Night. Presentation by Alan van Capelle, LGBT activist and president /CEO of Progressive Jewish Alliance/Jewish Funds for Justice. 7 p.m., free. RSVP. Exhibition closes July 22.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

NERP 2012 A Very Special Thanks to everyone who made our North East Regional Prides’ (“NERP”) Conference a success…

Healthy Prides

Partners & Sponsors: VisitRochester, Airigami Productions, Tilt Nightclub, Radisson Riverside Hotel Staff, CMI AV, Logo Dogz, Barefoot Wines & Bubbly, ID Lube, Casswood Insurance, Spectrum Talent Agency, Community Marketing Inc., Premier Pastry, Hedonist Chocolate and AIDS Cares

Special thanks to everyone that made our 3rd Annual, “March into Pride, Monte Carlo Style!” at 140 Alex on Sunday, March 25 a sensational event and fundraiser for Rochester PRIDE 2012!

Club/Mug/Pub Crawl Sponsors: VisitRochester.com, Tilt Night Club, Rochester Shuttle Express, 140 Alex, Bachelor Forum, Boulder Coffee and One Night Club

The Gals at 140 Alex thanks for helping keep a fun tradition going and The Pizza!

The Dealers especially Bill and Dawn, AJ and Michael: friendly and professional gaming!

Performers & Entertainment: Jessica Sutta (and her manager, Andre Recke), Dykes of Hazard, DJ Chuck Argento, Method Machine, Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus and John Williams

DJ Len Super music to set the mood!

Volunteers Carrie, Joe and Tatiana: time and talents!

Volunteers: Michael Hardy, Eric Rodriguez, Joe Murphy, Carrie Vernon, Evelyn Bailey, Dustin Hilton, Jo Meleca-Voigt, Alysa Stryker, Tatiana Clader, Sue Cowell and Christina Miller

JCC Center Stage, Method Machine, Mike Kelly LMT, Bread & Water Theatre, ID LUBE, Holiday Inn Airport, Barefoot Wines & Bubbly, Boulder Coffee, Equal Grounds, VisitRochester, Woodcliff: We appreciate the great prizes you donated and so did the WINNERS!

Especially to our Speakers: Dresden Engle-Olcott, Margaret Reichert, Alyssa Vaisey, Christopher Hildibrandt, Leanne Reed, Scott Fearing, Marc Katz, Jeannie Gainsberg, Bill Gormont, Billy Urlich, Harry Bronson, Carrie Vernon and Michael Hardy

And especially to our 60 or so “high rollers” who came and had fun at the roulette, craps and blackjack tables: YOU helped us raise over $600 for Rochester PRIDE 2012!

THANK YOU ALL!

And much thanks to our 17 visiting Pride Organizations that attended from our great state: Albany, NYC, Brooklyn, Queens, Long Island and Syracuse as well as Atlanta, Boston, CT, Cape Cod, Delaware, NJ, New Hope, Ottawa, Pittsburgh, RI and Western Mass.!

GOOD LUCK ALWAYS!

Much gratitude and success are wished to all!

The Committee for Rochester PRIDE 2012 is happy to announce our Headquarter Hotel: The Holiday Inn Airport, 911 Brooks Ave., Rochester, NY 14624.

The Holiday Inn Airport is offering a $99 per night rate!

Call 585-328-6000 to make reservations. They have a huge indoor pool, great gym, awesome Italian restaurant and one of the most popular bars on the south side of the city! Visit www.hirochesterairport.com and www.VisitRochester.com and stay a couple days with us!

Q: What do you get when 140 Alex Bar & Grill and Rochester Pride come together?

A: A Party in the 140 Alex Parking Lot! Join us for the first time ever 140 Parking Lot Party June 9, 2–8 pm Watch for announcements on the exciting details of this fabulous party!

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

19

PRIDE EVENTS

(See June Pride supplement for Grand Marshal and Honorary Grand Marshal, updated list of events; also check www.rochesterpride.com)

July 2012 Thursday July 5: Gay Alliance event at JCC in conjunction with the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum exhibit Friday July 6: City Hall Rainbow flag-raising, 4-5pm, followed by Super Sassy in the South Wedge Sunday July 8: Tea Dance (4-8pm, location TBA) Monday July 9: Youth Pride Pageant 6-9pm (location TBA) Tuesday July 10: Third Presbyterian Film Night (TBA) Wednesday July 11: The Good, The Bad and the Funny Transgender Event, at Equal=Grounds (time TBA) Thursday July 12: Out & Equal Happy Hour (time, location TBA) ImageOut film (TBA) Friday July 13: Pride Kick Off Party, Holiday Inn Airport 7-10 pm Saturday July 14: Family Event, Museum & Science Center (tentative) Pride Parade line up 2:30-3:30pm; Parade step-off 3:30pm Festival, Auditorium parking lot, College St. (between Goodman & Prince) 4:30-9:30pm Sunday July 15: Pride Picnic, Genesee Valley Park, 1-7pm

BeaSuperhero The Gay Alliance Seeks Pride Volunteers If you can help out with two hours of volunteering at any Pride event, please go to www.gayalliance.org/pride/volunteer Fill out the form.

That’s all there is to it! Thank you.

A message from Carrie Vernon Why Pride?

I have been thinking about this question and I have asked people in the Rochester community this question.

The responses I received made it very clear that Pride is still needed and we continue to have Pride here in Rochester to bring the community together to celebrate who each of us are individually, to celebrate the diversity within our own LGBT Rochester community, and to end bias and discrimination against the LGBT community.

Pride is a celebration and lots of fun, but there are important reasons why we need to have Pride in Rochester. The Rochester Pride Committee supports and recognizes the importance of each and every one of you. So together we will have a great 10 days of Pride and we can’t wait to see you!

Thanks, Carrie Vernon, Chair of Rochester Pride

Allies welcome!

P.S. Everything you need to know to participate in all the events and get involved with Rochester Pride can be found at www.rochesterpride.com. The website is updated as events are confirmed. You can also sign up to volunteer, register to be a vendor and be in the parade, and become a sponsor!

For questions and comments please feel free to email us at pride@gayalliance.org Like Us on Facebook: Rochester Pride (NY)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

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MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On Meet Lt. Gov. Bob Duffy

By Evelyn Bailey During this year of critical political races for the White House, Congress, State Assembly and City Council, we look at the shoulders of a man who rises above others with boundless energy, with immeasurable faith in the innovative, creative spirit of the people of New York, and a commitment to equality for all.

Bob Duffy, former Mayor of Rochester, has clearly demonstrated his willingness to engage in the struggle for equality through his work inside and outside the Senate chamber to pass Marriage Equality on June 24, 2011. With Governor Andrew Cuomo leading the fight, Lt. Gov. Bob Duffy was intimately involved in helping the four Republican senators who voted yes, to see Marriage Equality as an issue of basic civil rights.

He grew up in with religious parents who opposed denying civil rights to individuals. Bob Duffy saw that same sex couples were asking for nothing more than their civil right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness with justice and equality.

Bob Duffy’s sense of proactive justice did not begin in Albany. He believes and has publicly stated that the worst thing you can do is to stand by and wait for decisions to be made. He has worked hard to shape decisions, and not wait for them to happen.

In early spring of 2009, he wrote an op-ed piece for the Democrat and Chronicle supporting gay marriage, which garnered great media attention. In June of that same year Bob Duffy demonstrated his commitment to the issue by introducing the Marriage Equality Act as a vote

at the US Conference of Mayors’ 77th Annual Meeting. Bob Duffy, as Chair of the US Conference of Mayors’ Criminal and Social Justice committee, reported on the Act and was instrumental in pushing the Marriage Equality Act policy resolution to a successful vote.

As Rochester’s Mayor, Bob Duffy navigated the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression by reducing the cost of government, yet improving services.

Under his stewardship, the value of property in Rochester rose, while the tax rate declined. He streamlined the city workforce while attracting millions of dollars in private-sector investments. His mayoral accomplishments also include merging three departments into the highly efficient and effective Department of Neighborhood and Business Development; fostering government transparency and accountability through the creation of the Office of Public Integrity; adopting the 311 Call Center to give citizens immediate access to City services; and investing in public safety to bring Rochester’s rate of serious crime to its lowest point in 25 years.

In May 2010, Duffy was picked by Andrew Cuomo to be the lieutenant gubernatorial nominee. They won on Nov. 2, 2010 with 62 percent of the vote.

Andrew Cuomo subsequently named Bob Duffy director of his transition team. In 2011, the first year of his administration, Gov. Cuomo and Lt. Gov. Bob Duffy’s accomplishments included the on time budget passed by the Legislature with a reduction in overall spending, closing a $10 billion budget gap, a two percent cap on property tax increases, creation of regional economic development councils (led by Duffy) and an income tax agree-

ment that cut New York’s middle-class rates to the lowest levels in 58 years.

Born in Rochester’s Tenth Ward, Duffy graduated from the Aquinas Institute, Monroe Community College, Rochester Institute of Technology, and later obtained a Master’s Degree from the Maxwell School at Syracuse University.

After 28 and a half years, rising through the ranks of the police department and becoming the Chief in 1998, he retired from that position to run for Mayor. Bob Duffy and his wife of 27 years, Barbara, have two wonderful daughters.

On Sunday, June 3, Tim Tompkins and many others will host a tea dance event benefiting Lt. Gov. Duffy and Shoulders to Stand On, at ONE Restaurant & Lounge, 1 Ryan Alley. See the article on page 27 for full details.

21

History Corner May

By Evelyn Bailey Forty years ago this month, the Gay Liberation Front, precursor to the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, was a very active organization on the University of Rochester Campus.

Here is the GLF Calendar for May 1972: MAY 5–7: Gay Cultural Explosion: Rutgers University, New Brunswick, NJ. Cabaret, Costume ball, Love Feast, workshops, games, music, free food and drink, housing. Phone 275-6181 for details and to share a ride.

MAY 6: DANCE: U of R Frederick Douglass Lounge 9-1. UR Students 75 cents. Others: $1.50. Beer at very moderate prices. Call in your favorite steppin’ tunes to the GLF office. We’ll attempt to feature them.

MAY 7: GLF MEETING: “Community Center – What’s Next?” Planning session for proposed community center. 7:30 pm, Todd Union.

By Appointment: Physicians will take cultures for gonorrhea. No charge.

Appointment: 275-6181 MAY 14: GLF MEETING: “Gays Between the Covers”. A discussion of what writers said about us then and now.

MAY 21: GLF MEETING, “GAY ACTIVITIES IN TORONTO”. Ms. Pat Hurphy and M. Charles Hill from Canadian homophile organization CHAT discuss their recent government funding, the new community center, and other items of interest.

Todd Union Music Lounge, 7:30 pm.

GAY PICNIC: Syracuse GLF. Green Lakes State Park. 12 noon.

MAY 26 “GAY WOMEN’S COFFEHOUSE”, Women’s Center, 555 E. Main.

9 pm-l am, free refreshments. Entertainment.

MAY 28 GLF POLITICAL-LEGAL ACTION MEETING “GAY LEGISLATION ‘72”. Who helped, who hindered, what happened, what can we do better next time?

22

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Harriet Craig

By Eric Bellmann I’m staring out the window admiring my back yard garden and I notice a tiny trace of grime around the window latch. Hmm. It occurs to me that I can clean that with a q-tip dipped in ammonia and that is exactly what I do.

I am engulfed in warm feelings of satisfaction. There are web sites dedicated to cleaning, so I’m told. I’ve never felt the need to consult them. I’m of German descent. Cleaning is ingrained, part of my DNA. I accept no crap about my cleaning fetish. Order, a place for everything and everything in its place, means something to me. Cleaning is a meditative activity. I find it restorative. I like to take my time. I value thoroughness. I think I have all the answers but was thrilled, not at all chagrined, when I realized I could vacuum the back sides of small carpets. Never occurred to me!

The day I was staring out the window was the day after I had returned from New York, where I was baby sitting two cats in a seven-room Fifth Avenue apartment. All the apartment windows faced Central Park. I could gaze out the windows and watch the joggers and the cyclists along the Reservoir path. It looked like a New Yorker cover.

The cats’ owner had gone to London for three weeks. All I had to do was feed the cats and some goldfish. The owner of the apartment is a long time friend, a classy dame in her mid-80s. Do you have any inkling of the problem tucked inside this scenario?

Yes. Cat hair. Mountains of it. Some old folks lose track of details, shall we say.

Not I. I grew up in a house with three cats. One belonged to my mother, one to me and the third one, the crazy one, seemed uninterested in either of us. Two cats were long-haired. I don’t recall either my mother or me ever brushing them. Cat hair was just a fact of life.

By the time I was a teen queen and fussing about my overall image and wardrobe in particular, I recognized tufts of cat fluff as a problem. I didn’t move out right away, but when I finally was on my own, off at college, then later working, cleaning just seemed to become important. I know, I know, an orderly environment masks a chaotic inner world. No argument.

People who become aware of my cleaning obsession often joke, “Well, come and clean my place.” Dream on. I am only responsible for my own home, my own messes, such as they may be. You’re on your own. I’m compulsive, not stupid.

On Fifth Avenue, I loved the cats. We played hard. I over fed them. The hair did get on my nerves. I found cat hair in my underwear, in my cereal bowl. Unsettling.

Not their fault. The old lady just never knew to brush them. Again, not my job.

Soon enough the three weeks would end.

This fact connects to an inescapable horror of my life: I get to be a nanny to two adorable cats. In seconds I adore them, kiss them hello and goodbye, sing Sondheim songs to them. Then I must leave, alone, loveless. It’s a maudlin tale.

But that’s another weepy story, not the one I’m telling right now.

“Harriet Craig”is a 1950 Joan Crawford movie based on a 1926 Pulitzer Prize

winning play, “Craig’s Wife,” about a woman who valued her home and possessions over personal relationships. Doesn’t that just figure: Joan Crawford’s most wonderfully memorable quote, uttered by Faye Dunaway in the bio-pic “Mommy Dearest,” is said while she is chastising her negligent maid: “It’s not you I’m mad at, it’s the dirt.” Amen, sister. Hate the dirt, not the sinner.

And so, back at home in my haven, I exercise my inevitable re-entry habit: ritual cleaning. Start in one corner of one room and wipe, polish, wash, whatever -everything and anything. On to the next room, then on and on. More details than this overview would only be scary. The plain truth is that it works. I feel safe, in control, empowered.

And now and then, like now, the season matches the neurosis: it’s spring, a traditional time to clean up, fix up, paint up.

If only I could do all that for this poor, aging, saggy shell I’m trapped in. Oh well.

Can’t have everything.

Oh, nearly forgot: Harriet Craig wasn’t a happy woman. She alienated her husband, Wendell Corey in the movie, no big loss in my book, but the point was made that her focus on stuff didn’t serve her well.

I have no husband to offend. I love my stuff, all of it. And yes, I know all this blather about Joan Crawford marks me as a dinosaur, an old queen. Screw you.

When I was in New York this last time I ran into Jane Powell on the street near Lincoln Center and this time, the third time I’ve bumped into her, she and I had a longish conversation about movies – she thought “The Artist” was just a gimmick.

You don’t know who Jane Powell is/ was? Not my problem. She made one of the best musicals ever, “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and she danced with Fred Astaire. She is 83 and quite attractive.

Google her or go to the ImdB website if you are curious. She’s happy. I’m happy.

You have to decide for yourself what makes you happy. Good luck.

Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Cleaning My Closet herstory

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger “Dress her up, then wine her and dine her.” Even brunch her. Celebrate Mothers’ Day, for heaven’s sake.

The least you can do is call your dear old mother. Unless she has left this world.

In that case, take a moment to think about her. And tell her stories.

My mother was a teacher, of sorts. She taught me to giggle.

Even now, years after her passing, I can see mischief in her eyes, hear the music of her laugh as she tells her Chemung River story. She knew the deadly river was out of bounds. But she was just a kid.

So she quietly snatched their mother’s sewing scissors, then herded the gang out the door. There they were, five towheads scurrying to the river bank. There they were… the twins and two littles huddled around their big sister so she could teach them how to cut up slugs.

My mother, born in 1915, was named Bessie Minnie, after two aunts. She hated her name. At school, little Bessie was taunted by classmates mooing. Bullying is not a new activity.

Trying to prevent the ridicule, she

chose “Becky” as her nickname. Becky was the oldest of five kids. Her mother, Beatrice, was a grass widow, her husband coming every now and then, but mostly going. Eventually gone for good. Becky came from a broken home.

Broken and dirt poor. Daily they scoured the railroad tracks near their house to collect coal that had jiggled off the coal cars. When the lone parent, unemployed, developed uterine cancer, Becky had to drop out of school to take over the household.

Becky’s mother Beatrice suffered beastly surgery at Buffalo’s Roswell Park Cancer Institute. She was slashed open, virtually gutted, and crudely sewed up.

She suffered severe depression. But in those days, women’s lethargy was attributed to a flawed character. No sympathy.

Just your typical medical bullying.

The news of her mother’s cancer reached the ears of the neighbors. Those mothers feared their children would catch the disease. Becky was not allowed in their houses any more. Her playmates were forbidden to go near her. Little Becky lost all her friends. Ignorance incubates Bullying.

Besides nursing her mother, little Becky had to cook and clean. And manage all the childcare. No easy task. The twins, Thelma and Ward, were devilish.

Thelma regularly escaped to the playground, swinging into the sky. One day the heavy wooden seat slammed into her face and she lost all her teeth. Ward liked to eat tomato soup right out of the can, the family’s meal gone. Little Emma Jane was the easy, quiet one. Baby Dick suffered from a clubfoot. Every night Becky had to screw his shoes into the metal brace.

Despite the obstacles, my mother was determined to home school herself. When she was a girl, books were her class room.

Every day, book in hand, she climbed the tree behind their house and curled into a cozy crook. It was the only place she could get away from her siblings, the only time she could read in peace.

Every day, for the rest of her life, my mother curled up with a book… on the couch, at the beach, on the porch, under a tree. Every Friday, once I was old enough to walk, she escorted me to the library.

Every Sunday of my childhood, the whole family would curl up with good books.

My mother was a teacher, of sorts. She taught me to love reading.

My mother had dreamed of being an artist. She told me this one day when she was drawing paper dolls for me. But she never had the option. She went to school in the old days when stereotypes chained women to society’s expectations, men’s needs. She was allowed to take typing or home economics. Expected to become a housewife. Encouraged to be a stay-athome mother.

At the age of twenty-one, Becky shed her name and her past. She became Betty, Cecil’s wife; a year later, Leslie’s mother; then, at age 29, Meredith’s mother. She seemed content. Until, at age 54, she saw the world through feminist eyes. The IRS had sent a letter addressed to Mr. Cecil Horning & wf. She was infuriated. Wf? She refused to be condensed to two letters. She pronounced it “whiff.” And then she giggled.

Yes, my mother was a teacher, of sorts.

She taught me to dust, even between the chair rungs. She taught me how to iron daddy’s white handkerchiefs and pillow cases. Then sheets. And finally daddy’s starched, white dress shirts.

I learned to fold the laundry, towels neatly squared, napkins painstakingly triangled. Learned to examine socks for holes worn in the heels and toes. Then she passed down the Managing-Socks-withHoles Secret. Because she did not dare throw them away, because she absolutely did not want to repair them, she taught me where to hide daddy’s hole-y socks.

And then we giggled.

Mommy/Betty was a victorious woman. She nurtured a happy, forty-two year marriage. She was a mother who never required her first daughter to babysit for the younger. She was a homemaker

to the highest degree. She learned to sew, creating doll clothes and our clothes. She grew dazzling flowers that filled vases all through her home. Despite her trepidation, she passed her driver’s test at age 56. At 57, she learned to bowl; at 58 she bought her own bowling shoes. And then she giggled.

After she was widowed, she secretly enrolled in a GED program. For the longest time, she kept her textbooks and papers out of sight. Such a time, she revealed her truth. She was taking televised classes presented by WXXI. Had aced the literature and composition classes. But, she admitted, she was afraid of the math section. My heart understood she was asking for encouragement.

The morning before her graduation ceremony, she had an accident. Her car was totaled, yet she refused to let the police call an ambulance. After much coaxing, I drove her to the ER. The doctor ordered her to stay because the steering wheel had bruised her heart. No, I explained, you are breaking her heart. She has waited a lifetime to graduate from high school.

His prescription: take these pills, get dressed in your lovely white, flowing outfit, and proudly wear the purple orchid corsage your daughter has given you.

That evening, Betty Winters Horning, age seventy-five, had reached a momentous goal. In her hands she held her hardearned high school diploma. And then she giggled.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net

Faith Matters We are Trayvon Martin: LGBTQ and African Americans united by murder

By Rev. Irene Monroe What does Trayvon Martin’s murder have to do with gay civil rights protection?

The quick answer: The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act (mostly known by Matthew Shepard’s name). And this might be the only option the Florida Justice Department has in moving forward to charge George Zimmerman with second-degree murder.

The nation is outraged that in 2012 an unarmed, African-American, 17 yearold high school student can be shot dead by a neighborhood watch captain because his egregious offense was “walking while black” in a gated community.

By now you are familiar with the story—on February 26, Trayvon Martin left a 7-Eleven convenience store to head back home to his father’s fiancée’s gated community in the Retreat At Twin Lakes in Sanford, Florida. George Zimmerman, 28, of mixed ethnic descent (mother’s Peruvian, and father’s Jewish—he identifies as Hispanic) began following Trayvon and called the Sanford Police Department. Although Zimmerman was advised by his superior not to pursue Trayvon, he shot Trayvon in self-defense after a physical altercation initiated supposedly by Trayvon.

Was Zimmerman motivated by racism; therefore, racially profiling Trayvon?

And was Zimmerman’s act also a hate crime?

Many politicians are throwing around the h-word concerning Trayvon’s murder.

Now many African-Americans are, too.

Renowned African American filmmaker Tyler Perry told CNN.com that “Racial profiling should be a hate crime investigated by the FBI. That way local government can’t make the decision on whether or not these people get punished.”

Perry recalled his frightening experience when he was pulled LAPD for

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet making an illegal turn and having tinted windows. A black officer pulled up at the scene, recognizing Perry. The arresting officers apologized and let him go. Perry stated that the incident, however, has stayed with him, opening his eyes to what type of treatment he might have endured if it wasn’t for his celebrity status.

In 2009, President Obama signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law. Many African-Americans were irate that their protection under the law—which they argue they have fought for since being shipped to America in 1619—had to be associated with a white gay male who was killed in 1998.

Some African Americans, and, of course, heterosexual homophobes, wanted to know why couldn’t they have the James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act solely to protect them. Many further argued that the law would serve to solely protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender and queer Americans and would do precious little to protect them, particularly since the bill is commonly referred to as the Matthew Shepard Act. “The more time I spend in the LGBT community’s civil rights movement the more I’m struck by the need for all the various human communities to support one another... Trayvon’s death is as personal to me as any white lesbian’s death…

Trayvon is my brother, and whether one is black, white, gay or straight, we are all human beings together in this struggle for human dignity. It’s as simple as that,” Carol Fischer, wrote me in an email.

Fischer’s a white lesbian and producer of bloomingOUT, a weekly queer radio show on WFHB Radio Station in Bloomington, In. In 1998 both James Byrd Jr., and Matthew Shepard were victims of bias-motivated crimes. Byrd, an African American, was murdered by three white supremacists who chained him to the back of their pick-up truck at his ankles and dragged along a three mile asphalt road until he

was dismembered. Shepard was tortured, tethered to a fence and left to die because he was gay.

Although Zimmerman will now be tried for second degree murder, the Shepard-Byrd statute not only reminds us of how bias-motivated crimes link gays and blacks together, but that it’s also the best hope for Trayvon Martin and his family seeking justice.

A Few Bricks Short Grillin’ With the Gays

By David Hull I can’t cook.

I’ve never been able to make anything more than toast.

Or, on a good day, if the stars are in the right alignment, maybe I can make raisin toast.

I’ve destroyed dinners, murdered meals and I once accidentally created a completely new and unknown substance with boiled rice that was so sticky, I bet NASA could have used it to attach those ceramic tiles to the old space shuttles. On more than one occasion I’ve used the smoke detector as an oven timer. My sister says the best thing I make for dinner is reservations. I admit I am kitchen-challenged.

Which makes it most advantageous that I married my husband, Bernie, who happens to be a wonderful cook: lasagna, meat loaf, sesame chicken, French onion soup, roast beef, homemade pizza, Asian stir fry, eggplant Parmesan, turkey dinners with all the trimmings, macaroni and cheese and, of course, his specialty: pepperoni chicken. I’ve always told him that I married him just for his pepperoni chicken. I believe that good looks are only skin deep, but excellent cooking goes right to my hips!

Bernie didn’t believe that I couldn’t cook. “If you can read a recipe,” he insists.

“Then you can cook.”

I decided to demonstrate the level of my kitchen disability for him one time.

I spent all morning making a big pot of homemade soup.

“Hey,” Bernie said, tasting my efforts.

“This chili you made is delicious.”

“Great,” I replied. “It’s lentil soup.”

I’ve even complimented Bernie by telling him that I thought he should have his own cooking show on the Food Network channel. I could be his co-host. You know, Grillin’ with the Gays or Fryin’ with the Fairies or some catchy title like that. Bernie could demonstrate how to make great, affordable meals and I could be the one who tastes them and testifies that they are delicious.

“So, that would be your whole job on Sautéein’ with the Sissies (that was another show title suggestion from me)?” Bernie asked. “You would just taste the food?”

“Well, no,” I said. “I would be your announcer too. I’ve been told I have a very distinctive voice. I could be like the new James Earl Jones.”

“Yeah,” replied my husband, rolling his eyes. “Except in your case it would me more like James Girl Jones.”

Anyway, Bernie has bravely accepted his lot in our marriage. I’ll help with the laundry, the gardening, the cleaning; I’ll even wash the dishes. But when it comes to the kitchen – he cooks, I eat.

“He Cooks, I Eat!” Hey, that could be the title of our new cooking show on Food Network!

You can contact David at davidhull59@ aol.com

Introducing a new column: Legally Equal Traveling while gay

By Marcus Kroll Recently, a Southern Californian couple on a gay cruise in the Caribbean spent time in jail. Dennis Jay Mayer, and his partner of 17 years, John Robert Hart, were arrested in Dominica because they were gay.

Dominica, like several other Caribbean islands, has laws prohibiting sex between men. The couple were arrested, paraded before a crowd, subjected to interrogation, and held for 26 hours, 19 of which were in a locked five-by-eight

23 cement cell with no running water, no toilets, no lights, and infested by insects.

The men were denied requests for an attorney. They were told that they were arrested for being gay and for the crime of “buggery.” Eventually, the two men plead to the crime of indecent exposure.

As unbelievable as this story is, it was not long ago that the crime of “sodomy” existed in the United States. Up until the Supreme Court’s 2003 ruling in Lawrence v. Texas, in which The Court declared consensual sodomy prohibitions unconstitutional, states had the power to criminalize lesbian, gay and bisexual activities simply because of moral disapproval. The framework laid

by Lawrence has been essential to modern day legal victories, including the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Unfortunately, not every country has the same rights as America, as Dennis Mayer and John Hart learned. For example, last spring Uganda attempted to pass an anti-homosexuality bill that would have imposed the death penalty on gays and lesbians under certain circumstances, including for “repeat offenders.”

Current Ugandan law already called for 20 years to life imprisonment. The new law would have also lowered the bar for conviction, including, for example, making “touching” for the purpose of homosexual relations a criminal offense.

This bill was placed on hold after international outcry and the threats to cut foreign aid, or, what the Ugandan government referred to as “undemocratic threats of Western nations.” (It may be revived, however.)

In Nigeria, the Senate passed a bill banning same sex marriage, and mandating 14 years in prison for those who marry, and 10 for those who help.

Same sex marriage had been defined to include all same-sex relationships, threatening the human rights of large numbers of people.

Finally, just this February, St. Petersburg, Russia passed a law that would impose fines of up to $16,700 for the “promotion of homosexuality” and which would criminalize reading, writing, speaking, or reporting on anything related to LGBT individuals. Of course, it was only 20 years ago that being gay in Russia in and of itself was still a crime.

Needless to say, while the issue is far from settled on the domestic front, indi(Columnists continue on page 24)

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Columnists ( Legal Equal continued from page 23) viduals traveling should be aware of the laws where they plan to visit, whether it be international or domestic travel.

Essential documents, such as health care proxies, should be executed in order to give decision making to a loved one who may otherwise be prevented from making those decisions, and even discriminated against.

NY Gay Wedding Consultant Wedding etiquette

By Eve Elzenga Spring is here and gay wedding season is in full bloom in New York State.

Whether you are a happy couple planning a ceremony or a guest attending one, there are expectations and obligations for all involved. This month’s column will help you negotiate the world of some basic wedding etiquette.

For all the brides and grooms out there, make sure that you get your invitations into the mail or e-mail six weeks before the wedding. You might even want to send out “save the date” cards or e-mails as far as one year from your wedding date. This is especially true if you are having a destination wedding or your guests are coming from long distances like foreign countries and the Left Coast.

For the guests, it is important to send your RSVP back to the couple ASAP. It’s rude not to respond, and more annoying to make your friends chase you down to find out if you are going to attend a party they are provid-

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012 ing for you.

With most weddings costing at least $50 per person for food and beverages, it is only polite to show up after you said you would.

And don’t crash a wedding you have been invited to but have not RSVP’d to.

Put the shoe on the other foot: Imagine how you would feel if guests just showed up at your party without telling you.

You probably would not have enough food or even a chair for them to sit in.

OK, so the big day arrives.

The obligation that day is for the wedding to start on time and guests to arrive in time to be seated for the ceremony.

Grooms and Brides, do test runs of your primping and pampering. Plan plenty of time for getting ready and getting to the ceremony site at least a half hour before the wedding is set to begin.

Guests, give yourself extra time to drive to the wedding venue especially if it is a location you are unfamiliar with.

You also need enough time to park the car and walk into the ceremony.

Oh, and don’t forget the gift.

In the olden days people sent the gift to the bride’s home in advance of the wedding. This is still a great idea.

It means that as a guest you don’t have to lug a big box to a reception and then make the married couple drag it to their room, their car and finally to their home.

Of course the most popular choices of a gift these days are gift cards, checks and cash, along with donations to a charity the couple has chosen. You can also send these gifts in advance.

Brides and Grooms need to assign the job of “Gift Security” to a friend or relative. The gift envelope box should not be left alone and should be emptied often.

Gifts need to be removed at the end of the reception and moved to a secure site.

If you have questions I can help with, please email NYGayWeddingConsultant.com or call me at 585 733-2579. I would love to hear from you. Have fun!

A Special Getaway Off-Season Rates

Silver Waters Bed & Breakfast 8420 Bay Street Sodus Point, NY 14555 Phone: 315-483-8098 www.silver-waters.com Hosts, Mike & Joe

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community Find the friends and fun you need inFind yourthe neighborhood thecommon LGBT interests you’re looking for through friends, fun,ofand community. the various groups listed below.

ComeoutDancin’: SWING SWING SWING ComeoutDancin’ has had a very successful year! Our LGBT Swing Dance Community has grown and become stronger. We have made new friends, improved our Swing steps and had a great time doing so.

And now, our ComeoutDancin’ 20112012 season will come to a close this month. So don’t miss your chance to dance with us before our next season rolls around. Please join us for ComeoutDancin’s last two remaining sessions on Sunday, May 6 and Sunday, May 20 at the Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St., from 3-5 p.m. You’ll be glad you did!

Our 2012-2013 season will begin on Sunday, Oct. 7, same time, same place.

Until then... keep dancin’.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of May, 2012.

First Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music; second Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music; third Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; fourth Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by Picnic in the Park.

May Potluck Theme: Picnic in the Park! I can’t believe it is time for our annual Memorial Day event. After a short prayer service we’ll head over to Genesee Valley Park to fire up a grill and have a great time. We’ll supply the charcoal, beverages, and eating utensils.

You bring a dish to share and whatever you want to grill. No time to cook?

Join us anyway as there is always plenty to share.

Near the end of the month, we are planning to hold a Home Liturgy to celebrate Pentecost. If you are interested in attending, please call the D-I hotline for details and directions.

HEADS UP! First weekend in June is the annual Barn Sale in Lima. This is part of the “Trail of Treasure” with sales all along Rt. 5 from Caledonia to Bloomfield. Come and browse and join the fun! Donations are always welcome.

You can always get in touch with us through our website (http://www. di-rochester.org/) or by calling the DI Hotline at 585-234-5092.

Gay Square Dance Group – The Lilac Squares We need a few more people interested in taking a class; we already have almost enough for a square, but need two or three more people to square things up. If you are interested, give me a call.

Classes will be each Monday at the Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church located on 740 Marshall Rd., 14624 at 7 p.m.

We are a fun, lively and friendly group made up of singles, couples, men, and women, young and young at heart; when we aren’t learning new calls, we are telling stories, jokes, and lively anecdotes. We usually learn a couple of new calls each night, and if we make mistakes, our caller will review the calls for us. We are a very easy-going group, and missteps happen. There will someone there to guide you to where you need

to be. The night is for fun and having a good time.

For more information, call Bob at 585-467-6456, or e-mail bmdaniels@ frontiernet.net. Our Yahoo web page is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LilacSquares/ Hope to see you soon.

JUST US GUYS With the Merry Month of May upon us, our members have been considering the many varied activities in the area during the month.

Among the many offerings and of particular interest are the Gay Men’s Chorus benefit function, the return of the Calamari Sisters in their new production of “Big Fat Italian Wedding,” the Crafting Modernism exhibit at the Memorial Art Gallery, and the performance of “Company” at Geva Theatre.

We plan to compare notes next month as to who enjoyed what!

The regular date for the JUG’s meeting this month is May 8, when we plan to organize a movie night at the Dryden Theatre. For those interested, we will gather at a nearby restaurant for dinner prior to movie time. First timers are always welcome at these gatherings.

For more information about the movie and dinner plans, contact Ron at 729-2259 or email rmatter1@rochester. rr.com

Rochester Butch Femme Connection The Rochester Butch-Femme Connection will have two supper events in May 2012. On Saturday, May 12, we will meet at Monte Alban Mexican Restaurant on East Ridge Road in Irondequoit at 7 p.m.

On May 26 we will meet at Takumi Japanese Steakhouse Restaurant on Jefferson Road in Henrietta at 7 p.m.

For further information on the Connection, contact Kerry/Max at (585) 288-7208, email DressyFemme@aol. com or check out our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/bfconnection .

Rochester GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Hey, Spring is finally here! Time to get up and get out!

Our group is made up of newbies, people who put on a lot of mileage, and long time bikers. We are all joined, apart from the obvious, by our sport, and helping each other. A real nice group of people!

For more information, look at our Yahoo group profile: http://autos. groups.yahoo.com/group/rochesterGLBTQIbikers/. You can also call Bob at 467-6456, or e-mail bmdaniels@frontiernet.net. Let’s ride with pride!

Rochester Trans Group First, some really exciting and encouraging news. We got a letter from FAIRNY (Focus on Awareness and Information Resources of New York) letting us know that during the NY State Fair (Aug. 23-Sept. 3 in Syracuse), the week of 8/24-9/1 will be LGBT week.

There will be an LGBT booth, with people handing out literature and putting a human face on our community.

Now for the best part: Saturday, Sept. 1 will be designated as Transgender Day at the Fair. They are asking for volunteers to help organize and distribute information. So save the date and we’ll see you at the Fair! Their website is: www.fairny.org.

Another encouraging sign: at our March 24 meeting we had Christina Miller, Community Health Initiative Specialist-LGBT from AIDS Care, who used our meeting as a focus group to help determine the need for a dedicated LGBT health clinic here in Greater Rochester and what we felt was important to be considered in such a clinic, even to what the clinic should be called.

Also thanks to Jeanne Gainsburg for bringing in what she called the “Everything Brownie.” Kayla, you may have some competition!

Our next meeting will be Saturday, May 26, 3-5:30 p.m., when we will talk about being in the Pride Parade and having some type of Trans Pride event for Pride Week.

We meet in the Gay Alliance Youth Center, located in the Auditorium Center, 875 E Main St. Parking is available in the back of the theatre, off Prince St. and College Ave. Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and they have instructions to let you in without paying the parking fee.

Come celebrate the spring -- come to a meeting! You never know what you might learn or who you might meet. For a calendar, a listing of other groups in Greater Rochester and more information on trans-friendly services, visit our website: www.rnytg.org.

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus: Singing Songs of Friendship and Support “With You by My Side” is the lyrical theme of the Rochester Women’s Community Chorus’ upcoming spring concert.

Those five simple words seem to form the beginning to a longer sentence, one with a hopeful ending that might go something like this: “I am not afraid” or “I can do anything” or maybe just “I’ll be OK.” The chorus’ decision to spread this heartfelt message of hope, friendship and support was made following the tragic loss of one of the group’s cherished members. Trisha MacFarlane is, and will always be, dearly missed.

The words “With You by My Side” come from a song that the chorus performed at the “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer” walk last fall. During that same time period, one of the group’s own members was, as she put it, “going through the demands of breast cancer.” Ruth Landry is a brave woman who took great comfort in the kindness and generosity of the women of her chorus, some of whom had been through

25 what she was experiencing. Indeed it is safe to say that, besides singing, being there for each other is what the members of the Rochester Women’s Community Chorus do best.

As an extension of that spirit of support, and in hopes of helping at-risk youth, the chorus plans to donate a portion of its concert’s proceeds to the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley.

The RWCC’s spring concert will be held on Saturday, June 9 at 7:30 p.m. in St. Anne’s Church (1600 Mount Hope Ave.). If you’re interested in further information about the RWCC, or are considering joining the group, please go to the website: http://www.therwcc. org/

ROMANS ROchester MAle NaturistS (ROMANS) is a social organization of gay naturists who enjoy camaraderie in the nude.

We are gay, bi, and gay-friendly men over the age of twenty-one. We are all sizes, big and small. We are single, partnered, married, and divorced. We are short and tall, wide and thin, quiet and outgoing. We are young and not so young, furry and smooth. ROMANS is an inclusive social group for all men who are gay-friendly, who love to laugh and learn, and who enjoy nude social activities.

We have upcoming barbecue picnics in May and June for our monthly meetings. Camping weekend at Jones Pond July 13-15 and GNI’s 28th annual men’s nude Gathering in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania is coming up in late August.

Visit the Romans web site where an application for membership and information about the club is available. http://www.wnyroman.com or E-mail:wnyromans@yahoo.com, call our message line at 585-281-4964 or write ROMANS, PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Team Rochester for Gay Games 2014 in Cleveland It’s time to form, organize and plan for representing Rochester at the next Gay Games & Cultural Festival, being held in Cleveland.

This probably will be the closest the Gay Games will ever be held near Rochester. Events include swimming, track and field events, bowling, dancing, ice skating, bicycling and MANY more.

Bowlers need to establish an average, so definitely consider bowling in a sanctioned league this coming 20122013 season.

If you have ANY interest in participating along with your sport(s), or if you have interest in organizing, please contact us: thomaso510@mac.com.

An organizational meeting will be announced within the next few months. ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

27

Arts & Entertainment

By Susan Jordan Erik Cheski plays “Stewpot” in the production of South Pacific opening at the RBTL’s Auditorium Theatre. Catch this revival of the classic Rogers & Hammerstein musical May 15-20. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster.com; at 800-745-300; at the box office or at RBTL.org.

Erik told The Empty Closet, “I was born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pa. I actually started as a technician, working backstage during the shows running flies and moving sets in middle school. I was moving a table onstage during a production of ‘Huck Finn’ and got caught as the lights came up on me and two other deckhands.

I decided to break the cardinal rule of a tech and speak, yelling ‘Cheese it, they’re home.’”

“The director came up to me after the show and told me that he’d fail me in his class the next year unless I auditioned to be in the shows, and I’ve been

Tea Dance at One to honor Duffy, Bailey Mark your calendars now! Sunday June 3, is the date for a tea dance party with entertainment, laughs, fun and tasty hors d’oeuvres at One Restaurant, 1 Ryan Alley (off East Ave. at Alexander.)

This event, 3-8 p.m., will be a fundraiser for Robert J. Duffy, the Lt. Governor of New York, and Evelyn Bailey, chair of the Shoulders to Stand On Rochester LGBT History Project of the Gay Alliance. DJs Jon Herbert and Hector will provide the music.

Tim Tompkins, owner of One, says, “Bob Duffy is a man who has been supportive of the LGBT community in his official capacity as Rochester’s Police Chief, Mayor, and now as Lt. Governor.

He championed the Marriage Equality Act at the US Conference of Mayors in 2009 and on the floor of the State legislature in 2011. Bob has supported many of our local HIV/AIDS endeavors, including acting as host of a World AIDS Day fundraiser before he was elected Mayor and speaking out on behalf of the great local work done by Dr. Michael Keefer, head of the HIV Vaccine Trials, at a Strong Memorial Hospital event last year at my home.

“We want to create a committee of 100 hosts (at a $200 appreciation level). This will prove to be a wonderful community event demonstrating our support for two very worthy people and their great work!”

seen Wall St. and Main St., and really gotten a feel for the breadth of this country.

“Being away from loved ones can be hard. I don’t know how traveling performers did it before cell phones, email, Skype and the like. My girlfriend and I try to talk as often as we can but it’s definitely not the easiest thing in the world.”

If Erik had his ultimate wish, he would love a juicy role as a villain. “I would love to play Sweeney Todd,” he said. “I love Sondheim and the character, and I’ve been wanting to play a villain for a long time.

I would also love to originate a role, but I feel like I might be a bit far from that in my career as of now.”

Would he enjoy being in films or directing? “As long as they’re paying,” he jokes. “All kidding aside, I do enjoy the on-camera work I’ve done, and would love to be able to straddle the worlds. If I couldn’t, I would have to choose the stage. I have thought of directing and I did quite a bit of it in college. At heart I’m a storyteller, and I’m best at being a character on the stage, serving the text, play-

Local choreographers show work May 4

Box Theatre located at the University at Buffalo’s Center for the Arts, North Campus.

Both performances are at 7:30 pm.

Also included in the concert will be Anne Burnidge Dance from Buffalo and Richmond Virginia’s premiere modern dance company Starr Foster Dance Project.

(Local continues next page)

Rochester based choreographer James Hansen and Buffalo choreographer Melanie Aceto have joined forces to produce a new concert of contemporary dance called “In Motion” on Friday, May 4 at the Tango Café, 389 Gregory St., and Saturday, May 5 at the Black

Photo: Manuel Rivera-Ortiz

Erik Cheski: “South Pacific” is a classic, both fun and serious

doing it ever since. I did theatre in high school and attained a BFA from Point Park University, all the while continuing to work backstage with lighting, sound and stage management.”

Being in a musical usually requires triple skills – acting, singing and dancing. Which does Erik prefer? “I think of myself primarily as an actor, using speech, movement and singing to tell the story,” he said.

“I’m certainly not a triple threat, but I move well for a larger guy and I can certainly carry a tune.”

The performers who inspire him most are the great vaudevillians, especially Bud Abbot and Lou Costello, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Jack Benny and Eddie Anderson. Erik said, “I admire them not only because of their comedy, but the polish of their performances. These performers would typically have eight to ten shows a day, and that meant that after a few successful years that they would have done an incredible amount of performances and have been able to refine their craft to such a high extent, while also being able to deal with any type of audience. I don’t often see artistry that matches theirs in today’s theatre scene, and it’s an ideal that I like to aspire to. I don’t know if I could ever get there, but it’s a goal I push for.”

Erik says of his character, “He’s a big kid, and like the other SeaBees, he’s completely out of his element. He’s never been more than 50 miles from home and he’s suddenly in this gorgeous tropical paradise. He knows that he’s going to be shipping out sometime, but the waiting is interminable, and like the other SeaBees he’s trying to make the best of waiting in Heaven to be sent to Hell. He works for Billis because it lets him get things he wouldn’t otherwise have, and he keeps the peace for him.”

Most actors have a love/hate relationship with being on tour. Erik commented, “I love being on the road, every day is a new adventure, a new place where I can meet people and see how amazing this country really is. I’ve been to 47 out of the 50 states between the tours I’ve done. I’ve

wright, director, and so on, but I would like to direct as well. I miss tearing apart a script and getting into a rehearsal space with actors.”

“South Pacific” includes very serious content about racism as a major part of the plot – “You have to be taught to hate and fear… You have to be carefully taught.”

Erik commented, “The Lincoln Center Production that this tour is based on focused more on the circumstances of the war, the true gritty emotion of dealing with racism at a time when our country was fighting a menace that was killing people based on race. The movie tends to feel a little more ‘fun musical’ than a piece pulled from the times. It’s great to see the folks representing America having to deal with the prejudice that is against the ideal of America. The question becomes, ‘Can these folks live up to what they’re supposed to be fighting for?’”

He ends, “All of us are greatly thrilled to be bringing this production to town, it’s a fantastic show that can touch everyone, for everyone has someone in their family that lived through this war, whether serving in the foxholes in Europe or the islands of the South Pacific, or working in the factories at home while rationing goods for the troops. Add to that the wonderful story and score by Rogers and Hammerstein and you’ve got an important story to be told that will capture your imagination and live in your heart.” ■

Columbia U. honors Manuel Rivera-Ortiz The Manuel Rivera-Ortiz Foundation for International Photography reported on April 13 that its President and Founder, Mr. Rivera-Ortiz, has been

honored by his alma mater, Columbia University’s Joseph Pulitzer Graduate School of Journalism in the City of New York, as one of its distinguished 50 Great Stories of the past century by journalism alumni of the school.

The 50 stories range in time from

World War I (Carl Ackerman, class of 1913) to Revolution in Egypt (Rawya Rageh, class of 2006.) The Faces of Poverty photography of Mr. Rivera-Ortiz (class of 1998) is story #38, between The Threat from Pakistan (Steve Kroft, ‘75) and 9/11 (Tim Townsend, ‘98).

The Journalism School selected Mr. Rivera-Ortiz specifically because his photography of people living around the world in poverty tells such a compelling story. Nine of his photos are posted on the school’s website.

“I was astonished and humbled to be selected by the Journalism School,” says Rivera-Ortiz, a Rochester native and former Empty Closet volunteer. “I had no idea I was to be honored as part of their Centennial Celebration.”

Five large photos by Mr. Rivera-Ortiz of children in poverty in Kenya, Bolivia and India are now on long-term display in the World Room on the third floor of the Journalism School’s building. ■

28 (Local continued from page 27) Each of the choreographers have been produced both nationally and internationally. They have joined forces to create a concert of contemporary and cutting edge work that focuses on collaboration with composers and artists and new approaches to sound and text.

Hansen will be presenting his dance “Lovely” which premiered last summer at the prestigious Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival. This work blends theatricality and complex partnering sequences to look and occasionally laugh at traditional roles for women in American society.

Music is by Frank Sinatra and an original sound design by Hansen that incorporates 1950s instruction films addressing proper behavior for young women.

Melanie Aceto, best known for her collaborative work with musicians, will be presenting “Portage”, a complex and lively group work to a new score by composer Marc Mellits. “True Love” showcases Starr Foster Dance Project at their best with Foster’s unique humor, inventive partnering, and ability to make a statement that evokes thought. Anne Burnidge’s “Necessary Grace”, created in collaboration with multimedia artist Samantha Gorman, is a meditative journey of the human soma and psyche.

Dances will be performed by guest artists from Richmond, Baltimore, Buffalo, New York, and Rochester. Tickets for the Rochester concert at Tango Café are $10 general admission and can be purchased at the door. Free parking is available in parking lots on Gregory St. and on Cayuga St. adjacent to the Tango Café building as well as on the street.

Tickets at the University at Buffalo’s Center for the Arts are $15 general admission, $10 students and can be purchased at the door or ahead of time. To charge tickets to a credit card call 1-800-7453000. For more information, please call 585-201-0656 or e-mail jphansen1964@ gmail.com. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

Geva stages Sondheim’s Company May 9-June 10 Geva Theatre Center’s 2011-2012 Wilson Mainstage Season concludes with Stephen Sondheim and George Furth’s musical “Company,” which begins performances on May 9 and runs in the Elaine P. Wilson Mainstage through June 10.

Single and eligible, Bobby can’t commit to a long-term relationship, let alone marriage. His friends are all married; some happily, some unhappily and some… just coasting along. He is their best friend, confidante, mediator and babysitter all wrapped up in a charming bachelor. In the search for one perfect person to share his life with, will Bobby end up losing himself?

Transgender character joins Glee cast Glee, which received the GLAAD Media Award last year for Outstanding Comedy Series, raised the bar for diversity on network television again on April 18 when it introduced a new character named Unique, a transgender African American student and performer in rival glee club Vocal Adrenaline.

The character is played by Alex Newell, who finished as a runner up on The Glee Project, the Oxygen reality show in which a group of hopefuls competed for a spot on Fox’s hit show.

Audiences first saw Unique as Wade, a shy student from a different high school who gushed with fandom for Kurt and Mercedes and asked for their advice on coping as outsiders. Wade recalled being tormented by other kids at school and even family members, and revealed, “Ever since I was a kid, I would play this game.

Where I would pretend I was a different person. The person I dreamed of being.

The real me. I even have a different name.

Unique.”

Kurt offers some words of support,

Alex Newell as Unique.

saying “I hope one day you have enough courage to be him.” To which Wade responds “Actually, Unique’s a her.”

But the key moment came later in the episode, after Kurt and Mercedes try to talk Unique out of performing in women’s clothes for fear of a backlash. Kurt tells her “I’ve worn some flamboyant outfits, but I’ve never dressed up as a woman.” To which Unique replies, “That’s because you identify yourself as a man. I thought you of all people would understand.”

Rather than play it safe, Unique performs the KC & The Sunshine Band hit “Boogie Shoes” onstage wearing a flapper dress and glittery high heels, and receives a rapturous response from the crowd.

Kurt and Mercedes later remark how impressed they were with Unique’s resolve to be herself.

Actor Alex Newell was actually asked about the possibility of playing a transgender character on Glee back in August of

last year, when the Hollywood Reporter noted during an interview that he had appeared in drag on The Glee Project several times. Alex replied that he’d be happy to, explaining that he understands how important representation is in the media, and saying, “I go to different schools to visit friends and I see [transgender] kids and it’s hard. Not too many television shows shed light on that, it’s that hidden thing that not everybody wants to talk about. But it is there and there are people that want to be able to turn the television on and see somebody else who is just like them. I feel like if I were able to that, I’d be beside myself and happy.”

As one of The Glee Project’s runnersup, Alex was only contracted to appear in one more episode of the show, but there is reason to be optimistic. If the writers and producers are happy enough with the audience response, Unique could easily return in a recurring capacity.

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Save the date: dYke picnic, womyn’s festival take place on June 30

By Casey Sullivan On Saturday, June 30, from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., all women are invited to join the first annual dYke Picnic and Womyn’s Festival at the Hazelwood Lodge in Ellison Park.

Sue Timian and her wife Cathie started Lesbians of Rochester and Allies (L.O.R.A.) last year. It rose from humble beginnings, with the two of them hosting movies, games, and karaoke for other women at their home. Their Facebook group now has over 250 local women and a monthly social on the second Friday of each month. The group meets at the GAGV Youth Center for L.O.R.A.’s monthly Potluck and Games Night. For more information on L.O.R.A., please visit www.l-o-r-a.com.

L.O.R.A. is one of the driving forces behind this year’s dYke Picnic. “We decided to throw a picnic because Rochester is lacking in social activities, programming, and celebrations for and about women and specifically gay/queer identified women.” The family-friendly picnic welcomes anybody who loves and celebrates women and the women’s community.

Cathie said, “Its focus is on women — all women. This includes gay, straight, and questioning women. We hope to spotlight women’s rights, herstory, families, voices, health, businesses, products, etc. It is hosted by women for women.

Not to be separate in any way, but to be made to feel more visible, more included, more respected, more appreciated, more honored, loved, and understood. I would say this is different in that it’s completely all about women!”

Cathie hopes this picnic will be the beginning for a stronger, more prominent women’s social community in Rochester.

“Our hope is that more women will come

forward and start other groups, clubs, or social gatherings for women,” she said.

The picnic is making free workshop space and free information table space available for groups looking to promote their organizations at the picnic. “We would love to see more women, especially younger women, who will want to become more involved in their community, and eventually take over this event and continue on with this new annual tradition for years to come.”

The picnic is free and open to women, their families, friends and allies. Parking is free and there are accessible handicap spaces for those with valid parking permits. Vegetarian and vegan options will be available. Outside food and drinks are allowed. Guests will need to bring cash to purchase food or merchandise, as there are no bank machines available in Ellison Park. There will be a donation box for guests to give what they can afford.

Cathie says any amount will be greatly appreciated. “Whether they give 50 cents or a dollar or five dollars, it doesn’t matter! It all adds up and we appreciate it!” According to their website, the dYke picnic will donate 100 percent of the proceeds made from their silent auction and raffle to Alternatives for Battered Women.

There will be free entertainment and a list of workshops with the topics and times will be available in the dYke picnic June newsletter. There will be a stand-up comic, performers, and even activities for children found in the Kids Zone.

“We’re excited to see Kelli Dunham LIVE!” said Cathie and Sue. For single women planning on attending, there is a fun activity planned. The dYke picnic is introducing a Message Center where single women can receive messages from potential admirers.

To volunteer for this event, or for more information, visit www.dykepicnic. org and see the June Empty Closet.

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“Franny The Queen of Provincetown” runs May 4-6 at Rainbow Festival

Local author’s Tinseltown is Lambda Literary Awards finalist

The Rainbow Theatre Festival, presented by Bread & Water Theatre, will stage its final production, “Franny, the Queen of Provincetown,” at 243 Rosedale St. on May 4 and 5 at 8 p.m. and May 6 at 2 p.m. The play is directed by Tony Perri.

“Franny,” a memory play and history of the LGBT movement from the 1950s to the 1980s, was adapted for the stage by Tony Perri and JR Teeter, from the novel

by John Preston, Franny is a proud, protective friend to the gay men of Provincetown as they fight their battles against self hatred and ostracism. Haunted by the loss of his first love, Franny vows to create a place in the world for everyone who feels they do not belong.

Tickets are $12/regular $6/ student and seniors; special group rates for youth.

Tinseltown, a novel by Rochester-area native Barry Brennessel, was selected as a finalist in the 24th Annual Lambda Literary Awards, to be held in New York on June 4.

The novel follows the adventures of a quirky, adorable gay film student, Micah Malone, as he navigates the trials and tribulations of life and love. Tinseltown is from MLR Press, a Rochester-area publisher of gay fiction with a worldwide readership.

Fort more information: http:// www.lambdaliterary.org/foundationupdates/03/20/24th-annual-lambda-literary-award-finalists-announced/ http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=BBTINSEL ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley www . g a y a l l i a n ce . o r g

Program Notes

Gay Alliance offers SafeZone training The Gay Alliance’s Education and Outreach Program will be offering a SafeZone Training to the public on Saturday, May 12 from 9:30 a.m.-noon in the Gay Alliance Youth Center (875 E. Main St., first floor).

This fast paced, educational training is perfect for health providers, student leaders, teachers, and anyone who wants to make a difference in their workplace or school. We will discuss inclusive language, sexual identity, issues of coming out, transgender issues, and how to be an effective ally.

All participants will receive a SafeZone sticker for their office, school or home upon completion. Training fee is $10 per person. No registration necessary. Please contact Jeanne Gainsburg at JeanneG@gayalliance.org or 585244-8640 ext. 14 with questions. ■

From Big Gay Prom 2011

Prom location change

The Big Gay Prom, known this year as the Gaga Prom, “Born This Way,” will take place Friday, May 18 in the Cathedral Room of the Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St., 4th floor. Pre-sale tickets are $10 and tickets at the door are $15. LGBT

Ride For Pride Family of the Month: THE POLASHENSKIS What hasn’t this family done for Ride For Pride? Pam Polashenski, co-founder of this Gay Alliance bike ride fundraiser, has biked in every ride and last year brought in the most money in donations of all the non-staff members.

The Polashenski Family has paid for and provided lunch for all the riders every year!

This year Walter and Tallis will cook the lunch, Ana will be driving one of our support vehicles and Pam and Maya will be riding. Please consider supporting this family which is supporting us in so many ways!

Pam and Maya’s fundraising page links are: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/pam-polashenski/ride-for-pride-3 http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/mayapolashenski/ride-for-pride-3

youth will be free to be themselves, dance and socialize without harassment. Allies ages 13-23 are also welcome.

The Prom runs from 7-11 p.m.

Contact Jess Cohen at 244-8640 ext.

13, or email her at jessc@gayalliance.org. if you are a Youth Group supporter willing to donate food for the Prom. Pre-made desserts, fruit and appetizers are most welcome – thanks to everyone willing to contribute!

Several major youth events took place in April. First was the Day of Silence held this year at Tilt (see page one), with a performance by Levi Kreis.

Jamie Nabozny, safe schools advocate and subject of the film “Bullied,” visited with Youth Group members on April 5, and the film was screened at the Youth Center. (See Interview, page 7.)

The final College Tour of the spring was on April 9, when Youth Group members visited Wells College on Cayuga Lake. They met with admissions and with members of Saga, the campus gay group, and attended an anthropology class.

Also in April, Jess, Youth Group members Dontaee Williamson and Candace, and Christina Miller from AIDS Care, attended GLSEN’s Students of Color Organizing Conference in Baltimore.

On March 31, a Youth Summit was held at the Youth Center. The event was planned by the GLSEN Jump Start Group with support from GLSEN, the Gay Alliance and AIDS Care and drew 27 people. There were 11 workshops and the goal was to increase a sense of empowerment and social/educational support for LGBT youth in the Rochester area.

Rainbow SAGE update

Rainbow SAGE on the Road has started its meetings at area branch libraries. The first event was in April at the Webster Library. The other April gather-

ings were in Rush and Henrietta.

In May, Rainbow SAGE goes on the road to the Chili Public Library on May 3, 1-2 p.m., Mendon on May 4, also 1-2 p.m., and Brockport Public Library on May 18, 10:30-11:30 a.m.

City libraries will not be excluded: Rainbow SAGE will visit Maplewood on May 8, 1-2 p.m., the Phyllis Wheatley Library on May 7, also 1-2 p.m. and the Winton Library on May 10, from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m.

Kelly Clark says, “We’re trying to get out around Monroe County and let LGBT seniors know the program is available. We’re interested in increasing SAGE membership. The monthly potlucks will now also be member meetings.

If you’re a SAGE member, this will be your chance to attend a monthly meeting and have your ideas heard. We hope to get more people interested in planning group events.”

From Brian Hurlbut: Hi everyone and welcome to the great outdoors as we open our windows to spring and breath in the new air and aroma that it brings.

Be sure to join us on Sunday, May 6 at 3 p.m. for our monthly euchre. Beginner or expert, all are welcome. Even come to learn the game or cheer someone on, but an RSVP is suggested by contacting Ginny at rudinandreaxx@aol.com. The location is the South Wedge Planning Committee Building, 224 Mt. Hope Avenue in Rochester. Be sure to mark your calendar as well for our fall euchre tournament happening Sept. 23.

Our next “Third Sunday Potluck” is on Sunday, May 20. We have a new starting time. Come at 3:30 p.m. for a meet-n-greet and then the potluck begins right at 4 p.m. No speaker, but we are making our potlucks more of a time to get together as members of Rainbow SAGE and talk about what we would

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. • Address: 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Hours: Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Web: www.gayalliance.org Board President: John Altieri • Interim Executive Director: Anne Wakeman • Education and Outreach Director: Scott Fearing Wellness and Safety: Kelly Clark • Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg • Youth Program Director: Jessica Cohen The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan • Designer: Jim Anderson Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet like to do in the following months, making our programming more of a group project. The location is First Universalist Church, 150 South Clinton, corner of Court St. Bring a dish to pass if you can and all are welcome.

Our women’s group is no longer meeting at this time, but our men’s group is growing. Contact Tony Perri at rtony13@aol.com for more information as date, time and location can vary from month to month.

We hope to be meeting up on Senior Day at the Lilac Festival and are planning a trip to a Red Wings Game in June. More information will be in our Rainbow SAGE connections newsletter.

Don’t get our newsletter but would like to? Contact me with your information at brianh@gayalliance.org to be added to our email list.

Community Safety

On March 24, the LGBT Legal Expo drew 41 people. There were eight educational presentations and information on legal, financial and insurance matters was provided by 13 vendors. During the event, a transgender name change form was fully completed for one attendee.

Kelly Clark notes, “In future we hope to have a legal clinic providing services on the spot, as opposed to an informational event.”

The Gay Alliance thanks Wegmans and Tops for their donations. ■

Go to:

Speaking Engagements/ Tabling for April 2012 4/2 Coming Out Issues at Hilton High School 4/2 SafeZone Training at Nazareth College SW Dept.

4/3 Tabling at Nazareth College Health Fair 4/4 Tabling at Enough is Enough Fair at MCC 4/4 SafeZone Training at Nazareth College SW Dept.

4/10 LGBT Issues in Social Work at SUNY Brockport 4/10 LGBT Youth Issues at Monroe County Legislature 4/11 SafeZone Training at Rochester Kink Society 4/12 Adoption and Custody at the Gay Alliance 4/13 LGBT Older Adult Issues at the Webster Library 4/17 Transgender Issues at DePaul PROS 4/18 Homeless Provider Network Fair at St. Mary’s 4/18 The Changing LGBT Movement at University of Rochester 4/18 Safe Schools at Churchville/Chili School Dist 4/19 LGBT Older Adult Issues at the Rush Public Library 4/19 LGBT Issues for “Gay? Fine By Me” Program at SUNY Geneseo 4/20 Transgender Inclusion in Schools at School Without Walls 4/20 LGBT Issues in Education at University of Rochester 4/21 LGBT Youth Issues at Education Conference at SUNY Brockport 4/25 LGBT Youth Issues at St. Joseph’s Villa 4/26 LGBT Older Adult Issues at the Henrietta Library 4/26 LGBT 101 at Edison H.S. Project Search 4/26 SafeZone Training at SUNY Brockport 4/26 Transgender Issues at University of Rochester 4/30 Safe Schools at BOCES 2 Evaluation of the Month: “The strengths were their enthusiasm and knowledge and shared insights on the LGBT subjects covered. This was so much more useful than I ever thought possible.”

The Empty Closet pages at www.

GayAlliance.org to find the latest news, resources, events!

Friend Empty Closet News on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

Thank You Donors The Gay Alliance would like to acknowledge the following individuals who donated to the Agency between April 2-April 19 and noted on the form that they “were proud to be acknowledged”. ▼ Anne Proudfire in memory of Martha Jane Brown & Jane Erwin ▼ Gregory Partridge & Doug Potter ▼ Ann Pindar ▼ Willard Heller ▼ Joel Airy ▼ Earl & Helen Cohen in memory of Arnie Pegish ▼ Rabbi Amy Sapowith ▼ Steven Jarose & Marvin Ritzenthaler ▼ Gretta Schaefer ▼ Clifford J. Hurley ▼ Robert Kennedy ▼ Charles R. Luke ▼ Ryan Tucker ▼ Jennifer Mary Lloyd in honor of Sue Cowell ▼ Ron Matter ▼ Richard Jackman in memory of Robert Booth & Arnie Pegish ▼ James Graves & Tim O’Connell ▼ Peter Mohr ▼ Ann G. T. Young We greatly appreciate the 59 others who also donated during this time.

The Empty Closet is seeking a volunteer who knows flickr and could spend a few hours a month putting together the EC website photo galleries.

Call Susan at 244-9030 On-line Resource Center The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD) The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at www.GayAlliance.org.

31

Alliance Youth The Gay Alliance offers Youth Services for Rochester area LGBTQ and allied youth ages 13-25 Check out what’s happening at: www.gayalliance.org or contact: JessC@gagv.us Monday thru Thursday: Drop-in hours: 2-6pm Tuesday Teen Group: Ages 13-18: 6-7:30pm Special Interest: Transgender Youth, Arts/Crafts, Movies, Writing Special Events: Youth Dances, Day of Silence, Big Gay Prom, Pool Table, LGBTQ Youth Library, and Internet Access Fun, friendly, safe adults are needed to volunteer their time and talents, providing positive role models, maybe sharing a talent or skill.

Contact Jeanne Gainsburg, Outreach Coordinator for an application: jeanneg@gagv.us or 585-244-8640, ext. 14.

Library & Archives Internet Access?

The Gay Alliance Library has internet access available during library hours: Monday & Wednesday: 6-8pm

on

GARD

The computers are part of our David Bohnett Cyber Center

32

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

Resources

HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St.

Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY ONLINE

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com

Contact Information: Website: www.acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-4545556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies.

(585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored

by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: Third Sunday of the month, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 14624. 1-3pm. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400.

Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529.

Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance.

Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS

Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows: AIDS Care AIDS Care is the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes.

On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. AIDS Care satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 9625063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday.

262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous

Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876. Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon.

315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

TRANSGENDER

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Youth Trans Group First Thurs. 6-7pm GAGV Youth Center, ages 13-23. jessc@gayalliance.org; 244-8640, x 13 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Transgender online: Transenough.com; www.endtransdiscrimination.org; genderfork.com; www.transgendercare.com; International Foundation for Gender Education Gender Education and Advocacy http://www.gender.org/; FTM Information Network http://www.ftminfo.net/; Transgender at

Work http://www.tgender.net; PFLAG Transgender Network http://community.pflag.org/ page.aspx?pid=380; TransActive http://www. transactiveonline.org; The Transitional Male http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/; National Center for Transgender Equality http://transequality.org/; New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy http://www.nyagra.com/; Transgender Aging Network http://forge-forward.org/aging/; Transgender Law Center http://transgenderlawcenter.org; Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund http://transgenderlegal.org/; The Self Made Men http:// theselfmademen.webs.com/ (please send us your favorite sites/groups) Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs, support services free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

GAGV Anti Violence Project 585-244-8640 ext 19. For women and men.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Monday

Occupy Rochester M-F, 4-6 pm, at the Liberty Pole.

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516.

Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group, Mondays, 7pm, 140 Alex Bar. To reserve space: 467-6456; bdaniels@frontiernet.net.

Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 2-6pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640, x 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds.

426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Tuesday

Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. 2nd Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men.

Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org.

MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday Country Line Dancing/Two Stepping Every Wednesday, 140 Alex, 7pm. Lessons followed by dancing until 10pm, Beginners to advanced.

U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave. Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights.

8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com.

Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm.

AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 3-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursday

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862.

GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 MOCHA/Gay Alliance Youth Trans Group First Thursdays, 5-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13.

Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org

FRIDAY

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting.

Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

L.O.R.A. Potluck & Games Night Fourth Fridays. GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor 6-9:30pm, 585-313-3037; E-mail: info@l-o-r-a.com. Facebook: http://

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www.facebook.com/L.O.R.A.14464; Website: www.l-o-r-a.com Womyn’s Drum Circle Fourth Fridays. 6-9:30pm, GAGV Youth Center; E-mail: info@womynsdrumcircle.org; Website: www.womynsdrumcircle.org.

Rochester AA/NA Meetings

SATURDAY

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main, first floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www. empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys.

1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com.

Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sunday

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) Third Sundays, 1-3 pm. Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 244-8640 ext 27; PFLAG@gayalliance.org.

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Sunday hours ended. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Come Out Dancin’ First, Third Sundays. 3-5pm, Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St., entry on Charlotte St. $5.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188.

Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper.

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm.

Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.

Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com

Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings.

Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

St. Mary’s Catholic Church 15 St. Mary’s Place 585-232-7140 www.stmarysrochester.org Liturgies: Saturday: 4pm; Sunday: 10:30am

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012

TUESDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for June issue.

244-9030; susanj@gayalliance.org.

WEDNESDAY 16

Rochester Rams general meeting. 7:30 pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave.

Classifieds

THURSDAY 17 THURSDAY 3

Rainbow SAGE on the Road. Information meetings for LGBT seniors. Chili Public Library, 1-2 pm.

FRIDAY 4

Rainbow SAGE on the Road. Mendon Public Library, 1-2 pm.

In Motion. Dances by local choreographer James Hansen, Buffalo choreographer Melanie Aceto. 7:30 pm, Tango Café, 389 Gregory St. $10.

Franny Queen of Provincetown. Rainbow Theatre Festival, presented by Bread & Water Theatre, May 4-5, 8 pm, May 6, 2 pm. 243 Rosedale, off Monroe.

SUNDAY 6

ComeoutDancin’. Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. 3-5 pm. Admission $5. comeoutdancin@gayalliance.org or call 585244-8640.

Rainbow SAGE Euchre. 3 pm. South Wedge Planning Committee Building, 224 Mt. Hope Ave. Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MONDAY 7

Rainbow SAGE on the Road. Phyllis Wheatley Library, 1-2 pm.

TUESDAY 8

Rainbow SAGE on the Road. Maplewood Public Library, 1-2 pm.

Equality & Justice Day, Albany. Lobbying for GENDA, workshops, rally, etc. www.prideagenda.org.

THURSDAY 10

Rainbow SAGE on the Road. Winton Rd. Library, 1:30-2:30 pm.

Out & Equal Networking. 5:30-7:30 pm, 140 Alex Bar & Grill.

FRIDAY 11

Garage Sale benefiting Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church. Also May 12, 9 am to 4 pm, 3 Rossmore St 14606 (off Lyell Ave in Gates). Call 4260862 to donate items.

SATURDAY 12

SafeZone training. 9:30 am-noon, Gay Alliance Youth Center (875 E. Main St., first floor). Training fee $10 per person. No registration necessary. Please contact Jeanne Gainsburg at JeanneG@gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 14.

Butch Femme Connection. Monte Alban Mexican Restaurant, E. Ridge Rd., Irondequoit. 7 pm. (585) 288-7208, email DressyFemme@aol.com or Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/bfconnection .

SUNDAY 13

Dignity Integrity. Special Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

IDAHO. International Day Against Homophobia. www.homophobiaday.org.

FRIDAY 18

Gaga Prom: Born This Way. 7-11 pm, Cathedral Room, 4th floor, 875 E. Main St. Tickets $10 in advance, $15 at door. Youth 13-23 only. JessC@gayalliance.org; 2448640 ext 13.

Rainbow SAGE on the Road. Brockport Public Library, 10:30-11:30 am.

Rochester Rams Can-Am Weekend.

Through May 21. Welcoming the Spearhead of Toronto, Canada.

SATURDAY 19

Pride Agenda Spring Dinner. Reception 5:45 pm; dinner, program 7 pm.

Rochester Riverside Convention Center.

917-522-3403; takeaction@prideagenda.org.

Latina Health Event. AIDSCare, 259 Monroe Ave. 8:30 am-1 pm. 210-4189.

SUNDAY 20

“Head Out On The Highway.” Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Spring Fling benefit.

4-8 pm, Artisan Works, 565 Blossom Rd. ComeoutDancin’ at Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St. 3-5pm. Admission $5. comeoutdancin@gayalliance.org or call 585244-8640.

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Rainbow SAGE potluck. 3:30 pm, First Universalist Church, 150 South Clinton.

THURSDAY 24

“Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals 1933-1945” opens at JCC, 1200 Edgewood Ave. Talk by Rabbi David Horowitz: “How to be a straight ally.” Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus, dessert reception, 7 pm. For full event listing see page 17.

SATURDAY 26

Rochester Trans Group. Planning for Pride. 3-5:30 pm, GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., first floor.

Butch Femme Connection. Takumi Japanese Steak House, Jefferson Rd., Henrietta. 7 pm. (585) 288-7208, DressyFemme@aol.com, Facebook page http:// www.facebook.com/bfconnection.

SUNDAY 27

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by Picnic in the Park. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Harvey Milk Day. Celebrate his life and work!

WEDNESDAY 30

Out & Equal Panel Discussion. “Work It OUT.” 6:30-8:30 pm, EFP Rotenberg LLP, 280 Kenneth Dr., RSVP by May 24. www.oeNYfingerlakes.groupsite.com or www.facebook.com>Out & Equal NY Finger Lakes. ■

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Household donations wanted for Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church offsite garage sale. Clean your cupboards for a good cause. Call Anne at 426-0862 to arrange drop offs or pickups.

No clothing please. Sale is Fri. May 11 & Sat. May 12 from 9 am - 4pm at 3 Rossmore St. 14606 (off Lyell Ave in Gates).

PERSONALS

Politically progressive Lesbian Women Seniors interested in RPO concerts, Erie Canal walks, bird watching; news and current affairs conversation, call C at 585-732-7149.

SERVICES

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction.

Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call

in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com.

Interior painting/wall repair by John Walsh. 25 years experience, neat, clean, efficient. Booking now for spring/ summer. Call to arrange estimate. 585454-2808.

Martin Ippolito master electrician.

Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans.

585-266-6337.

World renowned weddings. 42 years performing same sex commitments, now marriages (it’s about time!). Nancy BB Meyer minister, God is Love-Animals are Angels ministry. 585-733-6213.

Treat yourself to a very soothing, relaxing massage by a licensed massage therapist. Massage reduces stress and can enhance your wellbeing. Convenient central locations. Call John at 585-314-0197.

MAY 2012 • number 456 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Bed & Breakfast

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month. Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester 14624 from 1 to 3pm.

Join us!

Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org

Seeking

sex

in the park?

Need to Talk?

I work with individuals and couples on a variety of issues including anxiety, depression, relationship concerns, sexuality & coming out.

Maryellen Meleca, LCSW • 14 years experience 585-305-8457 • maryellen.meleca@gmail.com

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 456 • MAY 2012