Empty Closet, May 2013 by Out Alliance

The Empty Closet

local, state and national news , newsmaker interviews , opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars , and health resource listings

number 467

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley May 2013

Gay Alliance names Scott Fearing as Acting Executive Director As the Gay Alliance celebrates its “Fabulous and Fortieth Year”, the Board of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley announced on April 23, 2013 the appointment of Mr. Scott M. Fearing to be the Acting Executive Director to lead the Agency. The Alliance would like to thank Joanne Giuffrida in her role as Business Manager for her diligent fiscal management of the agency. She has created a solid financial base for us to move forward with this very exciting appointment. (Fearing continues page 2)

Choose your favorite year.

Henry Schroeder

Gay alliance PARTNERSHIPS The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

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socialized with was my introduction to a supportive, accepting community. “Upon graduation I accepted a job in Rochester. The gay picnic was the first event I attended and I met a group of people who allowed me to join them for some of the events and parties in this city. Eventually I met my best friend and settled into a domestic partnership. I want others who are coming out to have a diverse support network available. Therefore, I have chosen to financially support as many local lgbt causes as possible. The programs that GAGV offers and the work that they do throughout the community are amazing. That I can help to support our community in the future through the Fabulous & Forty fund is fantastic!” Henry is a vet in the Chili area. He has four cats and a black Lab of his own. In 1982 he was studying for his degree in veterinary medicine at Cornell, and was housemate to a lesbian couple. He says, “I went to bars and concerts with them. I had always thought men were attractive but just ignored those feelings and chose not to act on them. “I was in the Peace Corps in Thailand for two years and when I came back was leaning toward saying I was gay, but it wasn’t until I started at Cornell and (FAB continues page 6)

Gay student couple will attend McQuaid ball By Susan Jordan Two gay teens who attend McQuaid Jesuit High School in Brighton are being allowed to attend their Junior Ball as a couple this month. A Change.org petition in support of the out students was posted online after the youth asked permission to attend McQuaid’s Junior Ball as a couple and were apparently refused. On March 13, according to (McQuaid continues page 6)

The vigil at the federal courthouse on March 26 demanded an end to DOMA and Prop 8.

The Freedom to Marry: Human dignity hangs in the balance By Ove Overmyer The Supreme Court won’t rule until June, but marriage equality advocates say the justices’ decision to tackle the issue on two fronts has already helped them win a victory in the court of public opinion. The support for the freedom to marry reached a new high in the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll (Mar. 18, 2013), marking a dramatic change in public attitudes on the subject dating back one decade. Fiftyeight percent of Americans now say it should be legal for gay and lesbian couples to wed. The number of marriage equality advocates has grown sharply in the ABC News/ Washington Post polls, from a low of 32 percent in a 2004 survey of registered voters, advanc-

ing to a narrow majority for the first time only two years ago, and now up again to a significant majority for the first time. Moreover, most Americans now believe the U.S. Constitution should trump state laws on gay marriage, a question now before the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS). Furthermore, another fundamental shift has transpired – just 24 percent now see homosexuality as a choice, down from 40 percent nearly 20 years ago. It’s a view that closely defines opinions on the legality of same sex marriage. Activists cautiously optimistic “I’m feeling enormously proud at the who’s who of America that came before the court and the public to say it’s time for the freedom to marry,” said Evan Wolfson, founder of Freedom

Day of Silence........................ Page 11

to Marry. “We know we have momentum and the winning strategy and we will see whether the court delivers in June.” Wolfson said he is cautiously optimistic the marriage equality movement will notch gains when the Supreme Court issues its opinions on California’s Proposition 8 and the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), but he also said activists aren’t taking a wait-and-see approach. Legislators in four states -Illinois, Minnesota, Rhode Island and Delaware -- could vote on same sex marriage measures even before the justices sign off on their opinions, and advocates (DOMA continues page 3)

Contents

photo: jeff mills

By Susan Jordan Henry Schroeder is the first 40 & Fabulous donor to reach his goal of $4000. He stopped by the Gay Alliance office recently to talk about why he would like the Alliance to keep serving the LGBT community for another 40 years. Henry’s posting on the Fab & 40 website, http://www.firstgiving.com/GayAlliance/fabulous40-challenge is as follows: “1982. I chose this year because it is when I decided to come out. I made the decision while pursuing a professional degree. I had lived in Ithaca for many years, sharing accommodations with my two best friends who were in a lesbian relationship. The lesbian community we

Editorials: .................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Jim Bertolone............... 7 Making the Scene......................10 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Judy Gold.........27 Gay Alliance News.....................30 Rainbow SAGE News................31 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Proud Publisher of New York State’s Oldest Lgbt Newspaper

Photo: Ove Overmyer

Look who’s 40 and Fabulous: Henry Schroeder

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

Gay Alliance Board of Trustees

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

Inspirations Courageous gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, trans people and straight allies have long defended and advanced LGBT civil and human rights. Some of these inspiring activists paid the ultimate price. Harvey Milk immediately comes to mind. Activist David Kato of Uganda was bludgeoned to death in 2011. Recently clergy who oppose LGBT people’s right to exist held a triumphant hate rally at Kato’s gravesite, within view of his grieving mother. In a way, the haters and killers are actually defeating themselves by demonstrating their own moral bankruptcy. David Kato will never be forgotten, and as brave Ugandan activists gradually change their society, he will come to be revered as a hero and martyr. In a similar fashion, the hate groups in this country, such as NOM, the KKK and the Westboro Baptist Church, are unintentionally doing their targets a favor. Their actions are so extreme, despicable and irrational that they provide the heterosexual public with unforgettable examples of why LGBT activism is necessary. Everyone knows that apostles of freedom and non-violence Dr. Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi also had to pay that ultimate price. Both were inspired by their religious faith – King a Chris-

tian, Gandhi a Hindu. Both were shot by assassins. How ironic that rightwing extremists, who consider themselves more Christian than others, obsess about their right to carry automatic weapons that can slaughter dozens of people within seconds. An inspiration in our own time is the young Muslim girl Malala Yousefzai, shot in the head by the Taliban for daring to stand up for girls who want to go to school. As soon as she emerged from her coma, she picked up a book. She is now back at school – but in Britain, not in her home country of Pakistan, where she inspires all women and girls. Maybe someday she will be able to go home. When we despair about our oppression in the U.S., we should keep in mind the courage of activists in countries where simply being identified as a dissident is a death sentence. When the Rochester LGBT community marches in July, we’ll encounter the usual bigots with megaphones. But we will also be walking with police protection and accompanied by a city fire engine, which will probably turn on its siren to drown out the screams of hate. One never knows when violence will strike in these days of constant bombings and shootings. But if we were marching in Uganda, Russia or many other places, we would most surely face bludgeons and bullets, not just ugly words. And police would definitely not protect us or investigate our murders. As a white middle class North American lesbian, I am safer than my activist sisters and brothers in the Third World, and safer than my activist sisters and brothers of color in this country. Their supreme courage will inspire the oppressed of the world until all oppression ends. ■

The Gay Alliance: Forty years of advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. Join us for forty more!

W. Bruce Gorman, Co-President and Secretary Emily Jones, Co-President, David Zona, Treasurer, John Altieri, Chris Hilderbrant, Jeff Markarian, Peter Mohr, Jessica Muratore, Steve Santacroce, William Schaefer

Board of Trustees announcement Gay Alliance names Scott Fearing as Acting Executive Director (Fearing from page 1) Scott joined the Alliance in 2007 after serving as Senior Director of OutFront Minnesota. As the Gay Alliance Education and Outreach Director he has served as the media spokesman for the Agency for the last four years. “We are proud to hire Scott with his breadth of experience and the vision necessary to create increased visibility and equality for all LGBT people and their allies who are navigating an ever-accelerating change in legal and social acceptance,” shared Board Co-Chairs, Emily Jones and Bruce Gorman Under Scott’s leadership in his role of Education and Outreach Director the agency has delivered nearly 200 workshops and trainings each year for the past three years. This work has enabled him to create broad cross-cultural relationships throughout upstate New York. Scott has been responsible for delivering workshops to social and civic institutions, including businesses, churches, police departments and schools. “The opportunity to lead the Gay Alliance comes at an important point in the organizations’ history. As the Gay Alliance celebrates its 40th Anniversary it is important to remember that the good work of the past means that life is dif-

ferent for LGBT people today. So, how we do our work needs to be different. I want the Gay Alliance to be a robust and resilient organization, prepared to address the new realities that the LGBT and allied communities face. I am exited about a future that includes more legal recognition of our individual rights and of our families then ever before while acknowledging the many needs that still exist,” declared Scott Fearing. During the past six months the Board of the Gay Alliance has met with over 40 business and community leaders and leaders of key funding agencies. Scott will continue this relationship building and needs assessment work as his foremost priority during his first 60 days as the new leader of the agency. The information gathered will inform the vision and work of the agency during this incredible transformative time in LGBT history. The Alliance looks forward to the dynamic and creative leadership that Scott will bring to this new role. As the Alliance celebrates its “Fabulous and Fortieth Anniversary” and leads “Pride” to a new level of inclusivity and fun, the agency will look to Scott for new areas in which LGBT people will no longer strive but will thrive. ■

PARTNERSHIPS continued The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision. Bronze Level

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Healthcare providers got an education at the Transgender Healthcare Conference at UR on March 1. L-R: Scott Fearing, Gay Alliance Education Director; Dr. Linda Chaudron, Conference Activity Director; Jason Ballard and Rowan Collins of TheSelfMadeMen and Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau; Jeanne Gainsburg, Gay Alliance Outreach Coordinator.

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May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

page one (DOMA from page 1) are turning their attention from Washington to the statehouses. During the SCOTUS oral arguments last February – the cases challenging California’s Proposition 8 which bans gay marriage in that state, and DOMA, a 1996 federal law defining marriage as between a man and a woman – revealed a Court that is deeply divided about marriage equality. That is hardly surprising, since the Court is often divided along predictable lines on controversial issues. But the arguments also reflected surprising consensus. The oral arguments provided still further evidence that our culture’s understanding of the issue has quickly shifted in the past few months – and continues to rapidly evolve. Nonetheless, several justices expressed concern about a sweeping intervention in this ongoing heated national debate. Additionally, because both cases offer avenues for resolution that allow the Court to avoid deciding the ultimate question of marriage equality, neither is likely to be a landmark decision along the lines of Brown v. Board of Education, which proclaimed an end to racial segregation, or the landmark case Lawrence v. Texas. In that 6–3 ruling, the Court struck down the sodomy

Kelli McMahon passes; worked with Health Department, Finger Lakes Health Systems

At the March 26 vigil. Photo: Bess Watts

law in Texas and, by extension, invalidated sodomy laws in thirteen other states, making samesex sexual activity legal in every U.S. state and territory. The Court overturned its previous ruling on the same issue in the 1986 case Bowers v. Hardwick, where it upheld a challenged Georgia statute and did not find a constitutional protection of sexual privacy. However, the fact remains that the struggle for marriage equality across the nation is far from over and will no doubt continue for many, many years to come. What will SCOTUS do? Most SCOTUS observers predict a dismissal of the Prop 8 California appeal for lack of standing, which seems likely, and would leave for another day the question of whether states have the power under the Constitu-

Fabulous Members The Gay Alliance is very proud to be celebrating its 40th anniversary of working with LGBT and allied community members of all ages. Our life changing work is dependent on the generous support of individuals. Here are the names of people who supported our life changing work by becoming members with gifts of $30 or more during the first quarter of 2013. Please help us to celebrate our anniversary by supporting our Fabulous and 40 campaign. Become a fabulous supporter by clicking on the Fabulous and 40 button on our homepage: www.GayAlliance.org Wanda Acevedo, John Altieri, Kaaren Anderson, Alexander Andrasik, K”Lea Andreas, Joan Arthur, Ruth Atwater, Evelyn Bailey, Gregory Balzano, Jason Barnecut, Pamela Barres, Christopher Barry, Barb Bonin, Dawn Borgeest, Terry Boyd, Mildred Boylan, Ed Brockenbrough, Carolyn Burch, Matthew Burns, Daniel Callan, Christopher Carretta, Ralph Carter, Robert Casey, Heidi Chapman, Judith Chryst, Sherman Clarke, Patricia Cole, Walter Colley, Catherine Conheady, John Cortinas, Susan Cowell, Judy Cranston, Susan Cunningham, Allan Cuseo, Debra Darrow, William Destevens, Gretchen Dewan, Melanie Duguid-May, Denise Dyson, Rick Easterly, Richard Easton, Joshua Einhorn, M. Elzenga, Jeffrey Epstein, Louise Epstein, Scott Fearing, Joshua Fegley, Jeffrey Fielo, Lois Filreis, Dennis Foley, Lauren Frank, Scott Franklin, Larry Fredrickson, David Freedman, David Frier, Jill Frier, Jeanne Gainsburg, Julie Gainsburg, Roy Gainsburg, Lewis Gediman, Harris Gelbard, Esther Germanow, Jerrold Gold, Sue Goodrich, Judith Goonan, W. Bruce Gorman, Christine Graziano, Arthur Greenland, Robert Grygier, Lois Hainsworth, Paulette Hall, Valerie Hall, Bonnie Hallman-Dye, Diane Hammar, Daniel Hare, Marla Hassner, Keith Helmicki, Jeff Hofer, Martha Howden, Ally Howell, Sue Hughes, Martin Ippolito, Rochelle Jacobs, Steven Jarose, Amy Jerum, Kenneth Johnson, Emily Jones, Patricia Jones, Amy Judson, Heidi Kaiser, Shirley King, Liz Konar, Kathryn Korol, Joel Kremer, Matt Krueger, Ronald Kwasman, Patrice Lancelot, Jennifer Leonard, Daniel Lewis, Mark Lilakos, Jesse Lombardo, Andrew London, Nicholas Love, Dayanara Luciano, Peter Macdowell, Laurie Mancuso, Jennifer Mathews, Leslie Mauro, Mikaela Mazzer, Tracy Mevs, Bud Minard, Jon Mink, Peter Mohr, Kevin Mumper, Francis Novak III, Thomas Ophardt, Deb Oppenheimer, Lori Orman, Lawrence Orto, Bliss Owen, Diane Palmeri, Chuck Perry, Jason Pleau, Thomas Privitere, E. Quatro, Bill Reamy, Eric Rodli, Rebekah Rosenfeld, David Runzo, Joseph Russo, Michael Russo, Tara Russow, Daniel Sapper, Bryan Schaefer, Susan Schiefelbein, Henry Schroeder, Bruce Smail, Lawrence Solan, Jacqueline Stewart, Lorraine Stricof, Rachel Stricof, Janice Theodoroff, Jean Thibodeau, Amanda Tierson, Anne Tischer, Gary Vedvik, Michelle Wallen, Bess Watts, Robin Wellum, Jamie Whitbeck, Cynthia Woolbright, Jeff Wyatt, Joe Yokajty, David Zona

tion to exclude gays and lesbians from marriage. That would pave the way for same sex marriages to resume once again in the Golden State. The Court is more likely to decide the DOMA case on its merits and to agree with the intermediate federal courts who have unanimously struck it down no less than 14 times. The Court’s four liberal justices made clear that they see no good reason for excluding gays and lesbians from marriage under state or federal law, and Justice Kennedy, the likely swing vote, repeatedly expressed concern that DOMA interferes improperly with the states’ power to regulate marriage. The fact that marriage is the province of the states makes any purported federal justification for treating same sex marriages differently substantially weaker. But by the same token, a decision declaring DOMA unconstitutional in part on this basis would also leave the question whether or not states may deny marriage to same-sex couples. Thus, neither case is likely to provide a definitive resolution to the broader issue. Local marriage equality advocate Anne Tischer told the EC, “The U.S. Constitution is not a static entity; it’s a living, breathing document. It reflects the nation’s deepest commitments and it amends and adapts as those commitments evolve over time as deemed necessary by the citizenry.” Tischer added, “At some point in the near future, the Supreme Court will eventually have to recognize, squarely and clearly, that it is unconstitutional to exclude gays and lesbians from being granted federal benefits [and burdens] of marriage. Very soon you will see the majority of Americans view anti-gay-marriage laws with the same condemnation as anti-miscegenation laws.” In the meantime, pro-marriage equality advocates are sitting on pins and needles until the federal Court makes its decisions public. Bess Watts, president of the Rochester Chapter of Pride at Work, AFL-CIO, told the EC, “Everybody is feeling a little anxious right now because our equality is on the line.” She added, “What is at stake with these two decisions is our dignity as American citizens. All we want is the same rights, the same treatment, the same due process of law, nothing more and nothing less.”

Vigil at federal courthouse protests DOMA By Susan Jordan Over 100 people took part in a vigil at the federal courthouse on March 26, as the Supreme

Kelli Elizabeth McMahon: Peacefully passed into the arms of the angels on Feb. 19, 2013, at the young age of 56 after a short but courageous battle with Alzheimer’s disease. Kelli left this world surrounded by those who loved her the most. Kelli was born in Carthage N.Y. and graduated from Carthage Central Junior Senior High School. She went on to earn her master’s in Public Administration from SUNY Brockport and dedicated most of her life career in the field of education and elimination of HIV/AIDS in the Rochester community. Those that know Kelli know that she loved to be on the water, loving her dogs, being part of nature, especially the birds, and maintaining beautiful gardens. She had a tremendous love for her family and friends and lived every moment for music and dancing. She will be missed by her friends and family and especially Sabrina, who deeply loved and cared for Kelli throughout the long goodbye, and Judy, who stood by her through it all. She is also survived by her loving family, especially her brother and sister in law, Kurt and Alice Koniz, cousins Tina O’Neill and Krystal Koszlowski and several others. Kelli’s journey was filled with special people. However, special thanks are given to the loving and caring staff of Crimson Ridge Gardens and 4-Reservoir at St. John’s Home. Kelli was cared for with dignity, love and respect in her last days because of them. A celebration of her life was held on March 3 at Mary Magdalene Church, 401 Main St., East Rochester. Donations may be made in Kelli’s honor to St. John’s Home Foundation, 150 Highland Ave., Rochester 14620. To share a special memory, visit www.NewcomerRochester.com.

Court considered Prop 8, which invalidated the marriages of California couples. The next day, March 27, the justices held a hearing on DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act, put in place by conservatives to prevent LGBT couples’ legal marriages from being recognized by the federal government. The Court’s rulings on the two issues are expected in late June. Anne Tischer of Equality Rochester, who organized the vigil, with her partner Bess Watts of Pride at Work AFL CIO, was the first to speak. Anne said that although she is a good citizen who votes, pays taxes and works for her church, she is treated as a second-class citizen under DOMA. “I know that justice is going to happen,” she said. “In the core of our hearts, Americans are fair-minded.” She led the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance. Jo Meleca Voigt of Marriage Equality USA said, “I’m a Rochestarian, wife to an amazing woman, an advocate and a citizen of the United States of America. There are no words to express what I’m feeling.” She described frustration, anger and sadness at the denial of rights to loving couples and families, and “a deep sense of indignity” caused when gay Americans are denied their civil rights “for leading our

authentic lives.” NYS Assembly member Harry Bronson said that in 2011 when marriage equality was debated on the floor of the NYS legislature, he had declared that this was a historical moment. “For the first time, we recognized LGBT people as citizens… (But) we realized our work was not done; as long as the federal government and other states are allowed to discriminate our marriages would not be recognized…. “All people are created equal. It is wrong for the federal government and California to deny that equality and allow the majority to oppress the rights of a minority. We are here today and across the country to express our concern to the Supreme Court, but also to advocate for public opinion to support the rights of gay and lesbian individuals. You are all a part of history – your voices will be heard for decades to come,” Bronson concluded. Other politicians present included City Council member Matt Haag, Monroe County Legislature Minority Leader Carrie Andrews, and Brighton Town Supervisor Bill Moehle. Strong labor support came from Fareed Mischelen, director of constituency groups for the NYS AFL-CIO, who said that he enjoys the institution of marriage, which is his right as a hetero( Vigil continues page 6)

Susan B. Anthony House spring luncheon is May 10 at the Chatterbox Club Friends of Susan B. Anthony House, a volunteer organization that supports the work and mission of the National Susan B. Anthony Museum & House, announces that its annual spring luncheon will be held on Friday, May 10, at the Chatterbox Club, 25 North Goodman St., beginning at 11:30 a.m. The guest speaker is Dr. Catherine Cerulli, Director of the Anthony Center for Women’s Leadership and the Laboratory of Interpersonal Violence and Victimization at the University of Rochester. Tickets are $35 per person. For more information, please contact Deborah L. Hughes, president and CEO, National Susan B. Anthony Museum and House® at 585-279-7490, ext. 13. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

NewsFronts national and international

cally necessary for transgender patients. A 2008 study conducted by Transgender Law Center found that an alarmingly high number of transgender patients were denied coverage for essential health care. Fifteen percent were outright denied gender-specific care such as pap-smears or prostate exams just because they were transgender.

Montana ends criminalization of homosexuality

The Trans 100.

GLAAD launches “Trans 100” list for visibility In March GLAAD president Herndon Graddick declared his organization’s focus on transgender equality. Now GLAAD points to the launch of the “Trans 100,” a listing of transgender activists working to advance the cause across the nation. GLAAD is proud to sponsor the inaugural Trans 100 and honored that GLAAD board member and author Jenny Boylan was included. “The Trans 100 will bring much-needed visibility to the critical, grassroots work that trans people have been doing in communities across the country for years,” said Wilson Cruz of GLAAD. “While media coverage so often misses the mark on accurate portrayals of trans people, the Trans 100 is changing the game by sharing the inspiring and diverse stories behind trans advocacy.”

California guarantees trans medical insurance California’s Department of Managed Health Care (DMHC) has issued guidance clarifying the obligations of California’s health plans under the Insurance Gender Nondiscrimination Act. In a groundbreaking directive to health plans, the DMHC confirmed April 9 that California’s Insurance Non-Discrimination Act of 2006, authored by former Assemblymember Paul Koretz, guarantees all people the right to access coverage for medically necessary care regardless of their gender identity or gender expression. The directive also provides that patients who are denied coverage can appeal the decision for review by the Department. Transgender Law Center applauds the DMHC, Governor Jerry Brown, Insurance Commissioner Dave Jones, the Assembly Speaker John A. Pérez, and the Legislative LGBT Caucus for their commitment to ending discriminatory

insurance exclusions that limit access to medically necessary care for transgender patients. Speaker Pérez said, “This is an important step in protecting the health of all Californians, including transgender individuals. No Californian should be denied care and treatment because of their gender identity or expression. Implementation of California’s Insurance Gender Nondiscrimination Act (IGNA) is a simple matter of fairness and equality in health care. I commend the Department of Managed Health Care for issuing its Director’s Letter reminding health care service plans of their obligation to comply with IGNA.” “This one letter will save lives,” said Masen Davis, Executive Director of Transgender Law Center. “For years, transgender Californians have been denied coverage of basic care merely because of who we are. Discriminatory insurance exclusions put transgender people and our families at risk for health problems and financial hardship. Now we can finally get the care we need.” The DMHC directive applies to HMOs and PPOs regulated by the Department of Managed Health Care. In 2012, the Department of Insurance issued non-discrimination regulations with similar protections for health insurance regulated by the Department of Insurance. Combined, this means that all California health plans and insurers cannot arbitrarily deny medically necessary services provided to other policy holders or members simply because the patient is transgender. The newly issued DMHC letter instructs health plans to revise current plan documents to remove exclusions and limitations related to gender transition. For transgender people, how and when they transition is typically a private decision made with their doctor. The American Medical Association, American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, and the American Academy of Family Physicians have all deemed transition-related care to be medi-

Montana Rep. Bryce Bennett gave a powerful speech in April in support of repealing the state’s statutes which criminalize gay sex. The Montana House took a vote on it April 9, and it was decisive, the Billings Gazette reports: After a half-hour of emotional debate for and against the measure, the House voted 64-36 to endorse Senate Bill 107, one day after House members narrowly voted to remove it from the House Judiciary Committee, where it had been tabled on a party-line vote with Republicans in favor. “It’s not about encouraging a lifestyle,” said Rep. Bryce Bennett, D-Missoula, one of the Legislature’s only openly gay members. “It’s simply about respecting privacy between two adults. … It’s just as simple as saying that all Montanans deserve dignity and respect.” Twenty-five Republicans joined all 39 House Democrats to support the bill, which removes gay sex from the definition of the crime of “deviate sexual relations,” a felony that carries a penalty of up to 10 years in prison and a fine of $50,000. Thirty-eight Republicans voted to keep the unconstitutional language on Montana’s books. GOP Rep. Kerns’ stance, and the fact that 38 Republicans effectively voted to keep gay sex a felony, incensed Rep. Amanda Curtis (D-Butte). “It was so hard to sit through that and not walk across the floor and punch him,” Curtis said of Kerns in a video uploaded on YouTube. “That’s so offensive. Talk about starting a fight. “...To say that our friends and our neighbors and our brothers and sisters and our cousins, aunts and uncles should be felons, and we support this because the Bible says so?... It’s wrong,” Curtis railed, accusing two of the Republican lawmakers who oppose the bill of “promoting hate.” Buzzfeed’s Chris Geidner spoke with Bennett following the second reading of the bill: “It feels like we’re entering a new day in the state... and people are ready to move on from this discussion of whether homosexuality should be legal or not,” Bennett told BuzzFeed shortly after the second reading of the bill..... “While it’s exciting that we got to this point ... we’ve got a number of steps to take forward before we can tackle other issues to make sure everyone in our state is truly equal,” he said. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2Q4BFpG7r

Gay man arrested for not leaving partner’s hospital bed A gay man in Missouri has been arrested after refusing to leave his partner’s hospital beside when the ill man’s family demanded that he be ejected from the premises. Via Raw Story: Roger Gorley told WDAF that even though he has power of attorney to handle his partner’s affairs, a family member asked him to leave when he visited Research Medical Center in Kansas City on April 9. Gorley said he refused to leave his partner Allen’s bedside, and that’s when security put him in handcuffs and escorted him from the building. “I was not recognized as being the husband, I wasn’t recognized as being the partner,” Gorley explained. He said the nurse refused to confirm that the couple shared power of attorney and made medical decision for each other. “She didn’t even bother to look it up, to check in to it,” the Lee’s Summit resident recalled. The arrested man is now under a restraining order and may not enter the hospital grounds at all. A hospital spokesman has issued a statement. “We believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process. And the patient’s needs are always our first priority. When anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.” The arrested man says he and his partner were joined in a civil union five years ago. Civil unions, of course, are not legally recognized by the state of Missouri. – JoeMyGod.com RELATED: In 2010 President Obama mandated that any hospital that receives federal funding such as Medicare or Medicaid must allow visitation privileges for same-sex partners.

Alabama bill would end “gay is illegal” sex ed A new “Oppose hate in the classroom” bill was introduced on April 2 in Alabama to remove a requirement that sexual education teachers tell students that being gay is “a criminal offense” and “not an acceptable lifestyle to the general public.” All Out, a global movement for LGBT equality, along with Advocates for Youth and AIDS Alabama, has launched a petition to call on Alabama lawmakers to swiftly pass the bill and stop lying to young people. “Right now, Alabama is forcing teachers to lie to students and tell them that it’s illegal to be gay. This despicable mis-education must be repealed without delay,” said Andre Banks, Executive Director and co-founder of All Out. “All around the

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet world young people face stigma, shame and bullying at school because they are lesbian, gay, bi, trans -- or even just questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity. Alabama needs to move out of the dark ages and make it legal for teachers to spread the facts about sexuality rather than damaging propaganda.”

Delaware House committee passes marriage equality Delaware’s House Administration Committee has passed its marriage equality bill, HB75, by a vote of 4-1. It now goes to the House floor. Among those testifying was Richard Smith, president of the Delaware chapter of the NAACP. “We believe marriage equality is a civil right,” Smith told lawmakers. Jared and Jordan spoke on behalf of their two-mom family. “No child should have to fight for their hardworking, dedicated parents to have the same rights as other parents,” Jordan said. Opponents said they oppose the measure because it would force religious groups to marry gay couples; this is not the case. The current state senate is split 13-8 for the Democrats. Gov. Jack Markell has supported gay marriage for years. All the Delaware legislature needs to do is alter Delaware’s statute on marriage, which prohibits unions between “people of the same gender.” Crafting of the bill has been led by members of the gay rights group Equality Delaware. Markell has pledged to sign the bill if it passes the General Assembly, where it has the support of Democratic leaders in both chambers. In 2011, Markell signed a bill authorizing same-sex civil unions in Delaware, effective last year. The Washington Blade has more: “We want to make sure that everything is lined up that we’ve got a bill that’s legally and technically perfect that way there can be no question,” [Rep. Melanie] Smith said. “It’s such a controversial issue from some people’s perspective that we don’t want folks picking apart the bill on technical matters or anything along those lines.” Attorney General Beau Biden; U.S. Sens. Chris Coons and Tom Carper; Congressman John Carney and John Fluharty, the gay executive director of the Delaware Republican Party, are among those who support nuptials for gays and lesbians.

Scouts may end ban on gay members but not openly gay leaders The Boy Scouts appear set to end their ban on gay scouts. Openly gay leaders, it appears, will remain banned. Reuters has the news: The Boy Scouts of America called to end a long-standing ban on openly gay members, a spokesman said on April 19,

but the organization’s board must still vote in May on whether to ratify the resolution. If the vote is approved, “no youth may be denied membership in the Boy Scouts of America on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone,” Deron Smith, the organization’s spokesman, told Reuters. The spokesman says the resolution draws on three months of discussions, surveys, and research. UPDATE: The Courage Campaign reacts. “Despite the efforts of a vocal minority, from politics to business to culture, we are seeing a rapid and historic shift towards equality for all. The Boy Scouts are now beginning to catching up with this reality. This is yet another step in the right direction towards ending discrimination against LGBT youth across this country. Yet, the Boy Scouts need to go further and end all discrimination within their organization. Discrimination and hatred have no place in a country founded on the principles of liberty, justice and equality.” The AP writes: Under pressure over its longstanding ban on gays, the Boys Scouts of America is proposing to lift the ban for youth members but continue to exclude gays as adult leaders. The Scouts announced Friday that it would submit this proposal to the roughly 1,400 voting members of its National Council at a meeting in Texas the week of May 20. The resolution must still be ratified by the organization’s board in May.

Iowa celebrates fourth year of marriage equality One Iowa cheered via press release: April 3 marked the four-year anniversary of the historic marriage decision in Iowa. On April 3, 2009, the Iowa State Supreme Court unanimously ruled that excluding gay and lesbian couples from marriage violated the equal protection clause of the state Constitution. Since then, roughly 6,000 couples have wed in Iowa. The case was Varnum v. Brien. “Iowa is a better place because of marriage equality. For four years now, gay and lesbian couples have been able to stand up in front of friends and family and make that lifelong commitment to one another and to have that commitment recognized by their state. To hear those words ‘by the power vested in me by the state of Iowa’ is powerful,” said Donna Red Wing, One Iowa Executive Director. That case was first filed in 2005 by Lambda Legal. -JoeMyGod.com

NM governor vetoes help for gay military families Republican Governor Susana Martinez has vetoed a bill to provide assistance to families of active duty and veteran gay

service members in obtaining professional licenses during their time in the state, while signing an identical bill to help only straight spouses. Republicans across the country are coming out for equality. But not in New Mexico, and certainly not Gov. Susana Martinez. The legislature sent the Republican governor two versions of the same bill, HB180 and SB258, making it easier for the state to help our active duty and retired service members and their spouses obtain professional licenses like those issued from the state for contractors and barbers. The only difference? The Senate version contained an amendment, offered by Sen. Jacob Candelaria (the state’s only openly gay member), to be sure domestic partners of gay service members would be covered too. On April 5 she made her choice: Governor Martinez pocket vetoed the version to extend help to partners of gay service members. “In the post-‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ era, openly gay service members are proudly serving and dying for our country. And their partners back home bear the same burdens as their straight neighbors,” says Pat Davis of ProgressNow New Mexico, a non-profit advocacy work advocating for LGBT equality and progressive issues in the state. “The rest of the country has moved forward and understands the sacrifice our proud gay service members make. There is no excuse in today’s age for signing a bill that intentionally thumbs one’s nose at our gay soldiers unless you believe that their service and sacrifice is somehow less important.” A CBS News poll conducted after the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell found that more Republicans favored allowing gays to serve in the military than opposed. Martinez signed HB180, providing job assistance to straight military couples on March 26. She pocket vetoed SB258 on Friday, April 5 when time to act on legislation from the 2013 legislative session expired.

Over 30 trans groups back immigration reform On April 10, as thousands marched in the nation’s capital in support of immigration reform, the National Center for Transgender Equality and over 30 transgender service and advocacy groups released a Statement of Principles on Immigration Reform. The statement outlines fundamental policies critical for reform that affect the estimated 20,000 undocumented transgender adults in the U.S., and thousands of transgender youth who came to the U.S. at an early age and also lack legal status. NCTE Director of Policy Harper Jean Tobin said, “For thousands of transgender immigrants and their families, the need for reform is especially urgent. They

5 are frequently locked out of asylum protections when they come here fleeing anti-trans violence, denied recognition for their families, subjected to especially harsh and dangerous detention conditions, and often deported back into harm’s way. This goes to the core of what NCTE stands for.” Statement signatories include local and national transgender advocacy groups from across the U.S. including The Trans People of Color Coalition, Gender Justice Nevada, and The TransLatin@ Coalition. “Immigration is an issue that impacts us all and reform is necessary as the racial and ethnic composition of our country has vastly changed over the past few decades. These concerns must be addressed for us to move forward on every issue from the economy to education. Everyone deserves fair and just immigration policies that ensures dignity and respect,” said Kylar W. Broadus, founder of the Trans People of Color Coalition (TPOCC) Jane Heenan, co-director of Gender Justice Nevada, said, “Immigration reform is important because trans communities suffer specific and sometimes unspeakable harm from current policies. From the pervasive discrimination that keeps trans people from meeting employment requirements to the unreasonableness of immediately disclosing anti-trans persecution to officials, the current system does not work for trans communities.” Bamby Salcedo, founder and president of The TransLatin@ Coalition said, “Immigration issues are trans issues and there are many trans brothers and sisters that are in the shadows because they may be undocumented, or they may have a loved one that is undocumented or detained in an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention center. We need to support immigration reform because it will provide a better way of life for many people who are still in the shadows, including trans people.”

Report covers marriage equality support state by state since 2004 Every state has seen increases in support for same-sex marriage over the last eight years, according to new analysis by Williams Institute Public Opinion Project Director Andrew Flores and Williams Senior Scholar of Public Policy Scott Barclay. “Public Support for Marriage for Same-sex Couples by State” examines public support for same-sex marriage, by state, and reveals the current position of each state’s general population on the legality of same-sex marriage, how public opinion differs across the fifty states and the District of Columbia, and the change in public opinion since 2004. Main findings from the report include: By the end of 2012, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and (Report continued page 6)

page one ( Vigil continued from page 3) sexual. He added, “It’s an institution that doesn’t set up gender or sexual orientation lines… we in labor don’t see differences among people; we see haves and have-nots, we see injustice and we can’t tolerate that. It’s time this country stopped building walls to keep people out, and started letting people in.” Bill Moehle said, “We can talk about legal issues, and lawyers will talk for years. But we are talking today about fundamental civil rights for ALL Americans. When one group has rights taken away, we all have rights taken away. No matter what happens, we’re seeing the community all around the country changing. Change is going to come.” Pediatrician Dr. Kate Greenburg said she wants youth to lead healthy, happy lives. “No law should keep them from being free citizens… I want my daughter to know she can be whoever she wants to be when she grows up.” Colin O’Malley of Metro Justice emphasized, “We’ve already won… If you’re under 30 in this country right now it’s an absurdity to even talk about this…. Courts and legislatures are lagging behind popular will. No matter what happens tomorrow, we’ve won as long as this sort of energy keeps up.” Thomas Warfield, choreographer and RIT associate professor, said, “There is a revolution occurring; an evolution of our mind and heart.” He recalled the emotions in New York City on the day when marriage equality became law, and said, “This must have been how my parents and grandparents felt during the civil rights advances of the ‘50s and ‘60s… We intersect… each one of us has the power to transform the community we live in and the relationships we cherish.” Ally Linda Donohue of Cornell Industrial Labor Relations joked, “I am not afraid of you! I have friends who are gay and lesbian and I am still straight!... Because I am straight I have access to rights, benefits and privileges that my friends who are gay are denied… Same sex loving couples ARE and they matter and are entitled to the same rights as other Americans.” KaeLyn Rich, director of the Rochester chapter of the NYCLU, said, “I’m to all intents and purposes same sex married in Canada and New York, and hopefully across the country very, very soon. My partner is a transgender man but according to New York State and the federal government, we have the same gender markers and are technically a same sex couple…. It’s amazing to be a part of history and someday we’ll say, ‘I was there.’ “Yes, it’s about our rights, but it’s also about Edie Windsor finally getting her marriage recognized,” Rich continued. “Her partner passed away and Edie had to pay $360,000 in estate taxes, which she would not have had to pay if she was heterosexual. These rights affect us all as

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013 people. It’s about DOMA being unconstitutional.” City Council member Matt Haag said, “In the next few days and weeks we must hope, pray and meditate that the Supreme Court will reflect society’s change. It’s the Court’s job to protect minorities oppressed by the majority. Today’s a day for optimism. We’re seeing the world change before our eyes.” Temple Sinai sent a message; members were unable to attend because it was Passover. The message stated that Passover is the time when Jews retell the story of being slaves in Egypt. “We’re on a journey started 4,000 years ago to increase freedom and equality around the world… Temple Sinai is committed to providing a welcoming spiritual home to all. We must expand ‘We the People’ to include all Americans.” The Reverend Tom Decker, Interim Pastor of Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, said, “I’m coming to you today as a voice from the future.” He said that as someone born in Europe and raised in Australia, who had lived in Canada for 18 years before coming to Rochester, he has witnessed the gradual advances in Canadian acceptance of LGBT rights. He pointed out that civilization did not end in Canada when same sex couples won the right to marry legally. “Straight folks still get married and we haven’t issued licenses for someone to marry their dog. But people who love each other and want to spend their lives together can share their lives. That’s what this is all about. “Marriage is a right not up for popular vote. Fifty-eight percent support us now, but it’s really an inalienable right and shouldn’t be up for popular vote.” Emily Jones and W. Bruce Gorman, copresidents of the Gay Alliance board, both spoke. Emily Jones said, “The Gay Alliance is 40 years old. We have been advocating for social justice… we have educated corporations, colleges, churches, and small businesses, and are proud to have worked with so many of you to get to this moment in time.” Bruce Gorman said, “No matter what the justices say during this week’s hearings and no matter how they rule months from now, the final chapter of this story has in fact been written. In an astonishingly brief period of time, this country has experienced a seismic shift in opinion -- a profound social and political revolution -when it comes to LGBT people. “Scores of prominent Republicans, including a few senior advisors to Mitt Romney’s campaign, broke ranks in February and put their names to a Supreme Court amicus brief in favor of marriage equality. These folks have joined dozens of professional athletes, the American Academy of Pediatrics, tech giants, accounting firms, retailers and airlines in so doing. “At the recent annual gathering of the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), opponents to gay rights spoke to a nearly empty room while supporters had a standing room only crowd. Republicans need to get with the program or get comfy with their image of being woefully out of

touch! “In the past seven years poll numbers have been flipped. Seven years ago 58 percent of Americans polled in an ABC News Washington Post survey were against marriage equality. Today 58 percent of Americans polled are in favor of marriage equality. “Among young Americans, 81 percent in the 18-29 age group endorsed marriage equality. “The legalization of same-sex marriage takes nothing from anyone, other than the illusion, which is all it is and ever was, that healthy, nurturing relationships are reserved for people of opposite sexes. “Fairness is where we are heading, our trajectory is undeniable and the trend line is clear. “It would be wise for the Supreme Court to be handmaidens of history rather than to sit this one out. The final chapter of this story has been written!” Ralph Carter of Out & Equal stated, “President Obama said, ‘Our journey is not complete until our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters have equal rights.’ A new day is dawning. We might help our world be better, brighter and more fabulous!” He said that the civil rights advances of Selma, Seneca Falls and Stonewall all took hard work and that we are not afraid of hard work. He ended with Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous quotation, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Perhaps the most moving comments of the day were those of Dick and Tammy Beebe, who talked about their daughter’s coming out to them as a lesbian. At the time they lived in a small town of 3,000 people, and Dick Beebe said, “We have a straight son and a gay daughter and are very proud of both. About 20 years ago, our daughter told us she was gay. It wasn’t much of a shock, we accepted it and became a safe house for friends of hers who had been shunned by their own families. To this day, we still have lots of kids!... I will never back down from defending equality. I will always be there.” Tammy Beebe said, “When Danielle met Samantha, my friends asked, ‘But what kind of a future do they have?’ I said, ‘They have the same future as anyone else.’” She noted that her daughter has a bumper sticker which reads, “Legalize gay marriage so we can be as miserable as everyone else.” Tammy went on, “We’re one of those lucky families whose in-laws are as crazy as our family.” (The Beebes’ in-laws also took in kids rejected by their own families for being gay.) “We have dozens of ‘children’ who call us Mom and Dad, and that’s the best gift God can give us.” ■

(FAB continued from page 1) went to Common Grounds, the Ithaca gay bar, that I decided I wanted to start getting involved with men. “I came out to myself in 1982, and in 1986 I met my partner. Actually I met someone at the Gay Alliance Picnic who introduced me to other people, and eventually I got set up for a blind date with the person I am still with.” He also donates to AIDS Care, the Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus and ImageOut. “I like to support the people who are doing the outreach,” he says. It’s our Forty & Fabulous Campaign! Celebrate and congratulate Henry Schroeder being the first member to meet his goal of $4000! Individuals or organizations can join the Fab 40 Team who together will create a thriving community for all of us, as we educate, advocate, incubate and celebrate a future that is truly inclusive of all our fabulous gifts. Visit our website (see icon at end of article) and check out who is leading this campaign. Help your favorite Fab 40 leaders to become successful by joining their team, making a donation or choosing a year!

You are invited to join Henry and the other initial members of the “Fab 40”: Pam Barres, Micheal Faucher, Bruce Gorman, Ralph Carter, Van VanZanten, Dan Meyers, Jennifer Leonard, Peter Mohr, Bill Valenti, Emily Jones, Joe Nardone, John Altieri, David Frier, Chris Hilderbrandt, Jason Barnecut, David Zona, Jessica Muratore, Evelyn Bailey and Steve Santacroce, as well as the staff at the Gay Alliance, who have each chosen a year near and dear to their hearts so that this organization will be here for another 40 years. Please sign up by sending an email to Emily Jones (emilyjone@gmail.com or Bruce Gorman (wbruce.gorman@gmail.com) The need to empower pride and self respect in all individuals is as important today as the day we opened in 1973. So chose your favorite year and let’s get this party started! Go to the Gay Alliance website www.gayalliance.org and click on the Fabulous & 40 icon today! ■

(McQuaid continued from page 1) the gay blog towleroad.com, and several Empty Closet sources, a gay McQuaid student called the Brother Wease show (The Brew) and indicated that he and a male date had asked their McQuaid school counselor whether it would be any problem for them to attend the McQuaid prom as a couple. Allegedly, after two weeks of decision-making from administration and above, the youths’ request was rejected, although this has been denied by the school. The Brew (Wease) website story: “After yesterday’s show Pauly was approached by someone close to a story he tells us about today. At McQuaid high school there are a couple gay kids (a junior and a sophomore) that are out, popular, and accepted by their peers. “With prom season coming up this couple went to their school counselor to see if it was an issue for them to go together as a couple. After a couple weeks of the school deliberating, and talking to their superiors, the couple was denied the request and they are disappointed with the decision. Many people in the school’s administration are also supportive of the guys, but are caught between a rock and a hard place when enforcing rules handed down to them, and how the religious policies of the school are also an issue. “On the other hand, tuition is almost $11,000, and the Catholic religion is a huge money maker, so should the people paying to go to this school be in the decision making process. Also, at what point should school rules move forward with society, which is becoming way more open to homosexuality. “One of the boys in the couple calls in to tell us how disappointed he is in the decision, but does not blame the school, but rather the Jesuits above the local administration. As we said earlier, the boys feel supported and respected. He does bring up the point that at Mercy a lesbian couple was allowed to attend prom together. “Lots of calls in support of these guys, and a couple that played devil’s advocate. Hopefully the decision is reversed, but to quote Wease... ‘Wimmens Is Crazy, And Rules Is Rules’.” Read more: http://www.951thebrew. com/pages/Random.html?article=110579 29#ixzz2PzxN77Ki Support for the boys also appeared in social media, with a brief change.org petition and a twitter feed. The petition garnered 828 supporters and several comments from alumni in favor of letting the youth attend. Shortly thereafter, school president Father Edward Salmon sent a detailed note to parents on March 27, saying, “If our two brothers who have asked to attend the Junior Ball wish to do so, they will be welcomed.” He wrote that no decision had been made to refuse to allow the youth to attend the ball, and criticized those who he said had acted out of “the darkness of anger” in the social media. Father Salmon did not return calls from The Empty Closet requesting an interview. ■

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Interview Jim Bertolone By Susan Jordan James Bertolone is president of the Rochester Labor Council, AFL-CIO. He is also president of the American Postal Workers Union Local 215. And he has been a strong supporter of LGBT rights for many years, helping to persuade the NYS AFL-CIO to endorse marriage equality. Why be an ally? Jim Bertolone said, “I’m one of those baby boomers that came out of the ‘60s, and I look at expanding civil rights in our country and the evolution of democracy in our society. Obviously we have a long way to go!” He said that he has known gay people for four decades in the progressive and labor movements, especially Tom Privitere, vice president of Pride at Work (PAW), the LGBT labor group organized by the Empire State Pride Agenda. Jim said, “I knew the Priviteres growing up in the city. I’ve known Tom for decades. We had arguments about marriage vs. civil unions; I was pro civil unions, but Tom convinced me that marriage was the right step. “I met Bess Watts, president of PAW, through CSEA and the Labor Council, and I’ve known her and her partner Anne (Tischer). Also, a cousin of mine came out as a teenager. These were gay people who were friends before Stonewall and all the stuff that’s happened in the last decade or two.” Jim feels that when straight people realize that they know and respect someone who is gay, their attitude toward LGBT rights changes dramatically. He said, “We’re seeing a lot of Republicans like Cheney and Portman who have gay family and change their views.”

Jim believes that there should be no special privileges for married heterosexual couples. He said, “I think there shouldn’t be all these special rights that come with marriage. I quote Betty Freidan telling feminists that equality and freedom shouldn’t be handed out to couples just because they’re married. “I just think the rightwing courts we’ve seen for the last 30 years have harmed marriage, first. Second, historically, working people didn’t get married. They had common-law marriages. Only within the last 150-200 years has the church started pushing marriage (for working class people). So that was my issue – that people shouldn’t have to get married in order to have rights.” In spite of those views, Jim has worked for years to enable same sex couples to have legal marriages. He said, “I’m on the NYS Executive Council for the AFL-CIO – 2.5 million members statewide. Seven or eight years ago the state AFL-CIO had not taken a position on the issue. I came out in the newspapers saying that politicians looking for labor endorsement should know that this (marriage equality) is part of our agenda. It seems like other NYS labor leaders were on the fence. I was told by PAW that my statements broke the logjam and then the state AFL-CIO endorsed gay rights. I didn’t realize at the time that I was taking such a radical position!” Labor began to lobby elected officials on the issue – with the exception of Harry Bronson who didn’t need lobbying! Jim said, “We lobbied candidates looking for endorsements and then after they were elected too. So there was lobbying and rallies and so on for half a dozen years before 2011. At their first annual banquet, PAW gave me their first award.” The national AFL-CIO has also

Jim Bertolone. Photo: Susan Jordan

Hopefully in a few years people will not be able to believe that gays didn’t always have equal rights. That’s where we should go as a society. endorsed marriage equality. While he compares fanatical opponents of gay rights and equal suffrage to the Taliban, Jim does not think they represent an American move toward theocracy rather than democracy. He said, “No, I see it more as the Koch brothers etc. using the social issues and the evangelicals to further their economic agenda.” As a student of history, who majored in that subject and political science in college, Jim finds it interesting that the Right is obsessed with the second amendment (the right to bear arms) and ignores the 15th amendment (“The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by any state on account of race, color or previous condition of servitude”) in their drive to reverse the Voting Rights Act. He says that James Madison’s original language for the second amendment referred to a “well-regulated militia” to defend a “free nation.” This was changed to “a free state” due to lobbying by Madison’s fellow slave owners, so each of the original 13 states’ militias could enforce slavery. The militias would check a plantation’s slave quarters for runaways, contraband, weapons, etc. A “free” state for whom? Jim noted that George Washington put down the Whiskey Rebellion, when armed mobs rose up against the new U.S. government, unwilling to pay a tax on

whiskey much like the British tax on tea that set off the Revolution -- and now has been claimed by the Tea Party reactionaries (who perhaps should call themselves the Whiskey Party). Jim said, “The second amendment was not meant to enable the people to rise up against their government.” He went on, “There’s a huge history of labor vs. religion. The opposition to the idea of ‘the dignity of work and the right to join a union’ comes mostly from the South. The Klan historically has hated unions even more than black people or Jews.” Jim continued, “Another issue that seems to get lost is that youth have progressed further on (gay rights) than adults. We have to think how hard it is for children to come out at the age when acceptance by their peers is so important. We should build a culture where gay kids won’t be afraid to come out. We focus on adult rights, but we need to make sure kids can grow up to be adults.” Jim summed up, “I’m very hopeful and encouraged by what I’ve seen in the last 10 years. To the next generation, this (marriage equality) will look like ancient history. My kids found it incredible when I told them about race relations and the civil rights advances in the ‘50s and ‘60s. Hopefully in a few years people will not be able to believe that gays didn’t always have equal rights. That’s where we should go as a society.” ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

Making the Scene

PoetrynLove (Maisha B.) In background: photos by Jason Ackerman.

Poet Marie Starr.

EROTIC NIGHT: Diane Conway presented the first Erotic Night of 2013 on March 30 at Equal Grounds. Above: Musician Denise Reese gets ready to perform. Photos: Jill Frier

Steph Poetic Stuff.

Poet Christopher Coles.

Artist Allison Snyder-Nichols.

My Own Private Rochester: Ramona Santorelli

Ramona and Happy at Mendon Ponds. Photo: Susan Jordan

By Susan Jordan New York women have a legal right to remove their tops when sunbathing on a hot summer day. That wasn’t always the case – while men could sunbathe to their hearts’ content, women risked arrest for “indecent exposure.” All that changed in 1992, thanks to Rochester’s Ramona Santorelli, fearless feminist. From 1985, when she was told to put her shirt back on while the man next to her sunbathed without a shirt, until 1992 when the NYS Court of Appeals ruled in her favor, Ramona led the “Topfree” movement (top-less implied that women were “less” without covering their shame-

ful, indecent bodies.) That would be a story in itself, but it is only one accomplishment Ramona has to her credit. She was an early gay rights advocate -- see the photo of her and a friend as “brides” in the very first Rochester Pride Parade in 1989, which Ramona helped to organize until 1992. In 1990 she was dressed in Victorian garb and proclaimed “the Gay ‘90s” and in 1991 she was “Homocoming Queen.” Although she is no longer a Pride organizer, Ramona is still someone to watch out for during the Pride Parade, when she likes to spray marchers with her water gun. “I like to say I’m blessing people with holy water and cool-

ing them off in the hot weather,” she jokes. Ramona was a Speakers Bureau volunteer for the Gay Alliance in the ‘80s and ‘90s, and for 20 years she facilitated the domestic violence program for men who batter women at Genesee Hospital. She also worked at Alternatives for Battered Women in the children’s program in the ‘80s. Today Ramona lives in the South Wedge with her dog Happy and two cats, Philly and Sunny. She works with autistic adults as a job coach and just got a volunteer award from St. John Meadows. Since 1998 she has run the Women’s Basketball League, which plays Wednesday nights from 7-9 p.m. at Down-

town United Presbyterian Church. It is a lesbian league but accepts straight women – and you do have to have some skills. “We play pick-up competitively,” she says. The League is Ramona’s favorite Rochester group. She is a member of the congregation at Spiritus Christi and calls the church “probably my most important affiliation. It not only is an inclusive church, but it embraces and tries to help the poor locally,” she said. “The first time I attended mass I cried like a baby. It had distilled all the ways I wanted the church to be.” She considers herself “a recovering Catholic.” Ramona’s favorite restaurants are Sea, an Asian restaurant on Monroe Ave., and India House on South Ave., to which she was introduced by an ex. (“Why do we call them Xs?” she jokes. “Why not ‘Ys’ as in ‘Y did I ever get involved with this person?’”) She is adamant that Pizza Stop on State St. has the best pizza in Rochester. “It’s the best pizza in the city by far. I’m from New York so I know!” Born in Brooklyn and raised there and on Long Island, Ramona came to Rochester in order to play basketball at St. John Fisher. She was also drawn to Rochester’s tradition of activism, especially Susan B. Anthony and the suffrage movement. On weekends Ramona likes to hear some music at

Ramona and Gail Neisner as brides at the first Rochester Pride Parade in 1989.

Abilene’s, the former Tara, and catches movies at The Cinema or The Little. She swims every day in the winter at the YWCA and in the summer at Mendon Ponds, one of her favorite places. While she swims, Happy fishes. Her favorite local band is Tegan and the Tweeds – “I’m a Tegan and the Tweeds groupie,” she laughs. Ramona’s endless energy makes her an ideal event organizer. She has produced benefits like the Lesbian Fashion Variety Show (to benefit the nowdefunct New Women’s Times and raise awareness of hunger locally and globally) and Amazon Utopia, a variety show at the original Jazzberry’s. More recent-

ly she has organized the Moe Town (for Ra-moena) music parties at the Tay House in Cobbs Hill Park, with a goal of bringing women of all races together. Unfortunately, the city has increased the price for Tay House to the point where, Ramona says, only wealthy people can afford it. Ramona walks Happy, and other dogs belonging to her friends, in the city parks, especially Cobbs Hill, Highland, Ellison and Corbett’s Glen. She says, “One thing I love about Rochester is the parks. There are so many and I take advantage of them because I walk the dog every day. I also like to ride my bike to Genesee Park.” ■

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

BREAKING THE SILENCE: GLSEN’s Day of Silence event to break the silence on youth hate violence and bullying took place April 19 at Tilt. 210 youth from 41 schools attended. Photos: Jeff Mills

ZACH WAHLS: National activist and Eagle Scout Zach Wahls, who has two moms, was the big draw at RIT’s N.E. LGBT college conference on April 12. Above: he relaxes the next day with a drink at the RIT Inn. He also spoke at Brockport on April 17. Photo: Khoury Humphrey

national and international (Report from page 5) Washington, and the District of Columbia had support for same-sex marriage at or above 50 percent. Of these 12 states, all currently perform marriages, civil unions, or domestic partnerships for same-sex couples. Alaska, Arizona, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Maryland, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and South Dakota are currently within five percentage points of majority support. In the last eight years, every state has increased in its support for marriage for same-sex couples with an average increase of 13.6 percent. If present public opinion trends continue, another eight states will be above 50 percent support by the end of 2014. Recently, support for same-sex marriage has increased at a rapid pace. Since 2009, legislative majorities in six states – Maine, Maryland, New York, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington – have passed laws introducing same-sex marriage and, over that same time period, legislatures in five additional states – Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Nevada, and Rhode Island – introduced civil unions or domestic partnerships for same-sex couples. However, despite increasing levels of support for same-sex marriage across the country, a notable disparity still exists across state boundaries. Research revealed a 31 percent difference between the lowest level of support found in a state and the highest. These marked differences have important consequences for predicting the outcome of future legislative activities and statewide initiatives around the issue. For the full study, please visit http:// williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/ marriage-and-couples-rights/public-support-for-marriage-for-same-sex-couplesby-state/

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

Philly archdiocese finally discharges abusive priests; victim committed suicide On April 7 the Archdiocese of Philadelphia permanently discharged three priests accused in a 2011 molestation scandal. The Revs. Joseph Gallagher and Mark Gaspar were suspended following a scathing 2011 grand jury report that ultimately led to the landmark conviction of a high-ranking archdiocese official on child endangerment charges. Two other priests and a Catholic school teacher were also convicted. The February 2011 grand jury report prominently named Gallagher as a priest who remained in ministry despite apparently credible allegations of abuse. The grand jury said the archdiocese had found the allegation against him unsubstantiated despite the accuser’s “obvious credibility.” “Our only problem is that it took so long,” Marci Hamilton, the attorney for the family of Daniel Neill, said Sunday. Neill committed suicide in 2009, less than a year after being told his allegation couldn’t be substantiated. Father Richard Powers, the third priest fired, was suspended last year after being named on a list of abusive priests. From the official statement by the Archdiocese: “Archbishop Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap. has found Monsignor Richard T. Powers, a retired priest of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, not suitable for ministry following a substantiated allegation of sexual abuse of a minor that occurred approximately 40 years ago outside the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. The announcement regarding Monsignor Powers is not directly connected to the cases of priests placed on administrative leave following the February 2011 Grand Jury Report.” In a separate statement, the Arch-

diocese addresses seven more outstanding cases. The remaining seven administrative leave cases are not being announced yet for a variety of reasons. The Archdiocese referred all of its cases to the local district attorney. Four cases have not yet been released by law enforcement so the internal Archdiocesan investigation cannot begin yet. Three cases were released by law enforcement over the past several months. Those cases are either currently under investigation, awaiting examination by the Professional Responsibility Review Board or a final decision by Archbishop Chaput. In one additional case a priest on administrative leave was arrested. The three priests fired can appeal their terminations to the Vatican. RELATED: In February of this year Philadelphia Archbishop Charles Chaput announced that he would be organizing buses of anti-gay protesters to send to NOM’s hate march at the Supreme Court the week of March 26. Because gay parents abuse children, you know. -JoeMyGod.com,

Gay-friendly alternative to Boy Scouts doubles numbers in past year The gay-friendly scouting alternative to the Boy Scouts, called Navigators USA, has doubled its numbers in one year, Mother Jones reports: In March, 2012, the Navigators had 19 chapters, but today, there are about 45 chapters across 21 states, according to Tony Porterfield, a chapter leader in Los Altos. They are growing at a rate of about two chapters per month, with each chapter having an average of 8-12 children, so there are up to 600 boys and girls enrolled in the program. For the most part, Navigators participate in the same kinds of activities that Boy Scouts do: Camping, organic farming, hiking, tie dying, excursions to muse-

ums, and community service. A parent says the only event his son misses from the Boy Scouts is the Pinewood Derby, where scouts build and race model cars (the parent points out that “as a parent doing much of the work on it, I do not miss it.”) But there is one big difference: The Navigators’ Moral Compass, which expresses the group’s philosophy that members shouldn’t be discriminated against over gender, religious beliefs, or sexual orientation. The organization has openly gay chapter leaders, as well as board leaders and co-members. As for other inclusive alternatives to the BSA, there are also the Baden-Powell Service Association (BPSA), and Camp Fire.

Video features DOMA’s discriminatory effect on Marine, partner Freedom to Marry and OutServeSLDN released the newest video in their joint “Freedom to Serve, Freedom to Marry” campaign featuring gay U.S. Marine Corps Captain Matthew Phelps and his soon-to-be husband Ben Schock. Captain Phelps and Schock previously made news when they became the firstever same-sex couple to get engaged through a marriage proposal at the White House. “There seems to be a contradiction between serving my country and my country not fully supporting my relationship with Ben,” says Captain Phelps in the video. “Every day, I’m reminded that my marriage to Ben is different from everybody else’s marriage, and it’s just not right.” The full video can be viewed here: http://youtu.be/yhHgVg65bJE Captain Phelps will marry Schock in May in Seattle, Washington and he will subsequently be transferred to Japan this summer for a minimum of two years. But because of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), Schock will not be

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet allowed to join him on base. Even though they will be legally married, Schock must leave the country every 90 days at his and his husband’s own expense, just to reenter again. The military does not provide the same housing, allowance, and assistance for married same-sex couples as it does for opposite-sex married couples, which will make it more difficult for Schock to find a job and for them both to support one another financially. “As Captain Phelps prepares to put his life on the line every day for his country, his government has yet to ensure that his marriage will be given the same respect and dignity that his colleagues receive,” said Evan Wolfson, founder and president of Freedom to Marry. “Captain Phelps has made a commitment in life and will be legally married, but his husband will be treated as a stranger in the eyes of the federal government. It’s time to end the discrimination of military families like theirs and repeal DOMA.” “As much as military leaders at all levels may wish to treat the troops under their command with equity, they are forced by federal law to discriminate,” said Allyson D. Robinson, Executive Director of OutServe-SLDN. “As a result, gay and lesbian service members are denied access to critical benefits and meaningful support programs the services provides to help families face the unique challenges of military life. This denial weakens the force itself.”

Uruguay is fourth Latin American nation to pass marriage equality The Uruguayan Senate passed freedom to marry legislation on April 3 allowing same-sex couples to marry legally, and making Uruguay the 17th nation in the world – and the fourth in Latin America – where gay and lesbian couples can share in the freedom to marry. The bill had been modified slightly since passage by the Chamber of Deputies in December, but those changes are expected to be easily approved. The Uruguay Senate approved the bill by a vote of 23-8. The bill now returns to the nation’s lower legislative chamber to reconcile a minor change. President Jose Mujica has promised to sign the bill and marriages should commence within a few months. Evan Wolfson, president and founder of Freedom to Marry, said, “Freedom to Marry applauds the people of Uruguay and their government for moving forward into a future in which all loving and committed couples can share in the freedom to marry and the meaning and protections marriage brings to families. Uruguay’s vote today to move past civil union to marriage itself, Argentina’s enactment of the freedom to marry in 2010 and the Mexico Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling last month in favor of the freedom to marry -- citing the U.S Supreme Court cases of Brown v. Board of Education and Loving v. Virginia -- all are inspirations

and examples decision-makers here in the United States, including our Supreme Court justices, should swiftly follow to get the U.S. where it needs to be.” When marriages between same-sex couples begin this summer, Uruguay will join 13 countries that have the freedom to marry for same-sex couples nationwide: The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland, Argentina, New Zealand, France and Denmark. Three others have taken judicial and regional steps to allow same-sex couples to share in the freedom to marry in parts of the country: Brazil, Mexico, and the United States.

Bill would end tax on domestic partners’ health insurance The Human Rights Campaign on April 15 lauded Senators Charles Schumer (D-NY) and Susan Collins (R-ME) for introducing the Tax Parity for Health Plan Beneficiaries Act in the United States Senate. The bill, which was also introduced in the 112th Congress, would end the unfair taxation of employer-provided health insurance for domestic partners, as well as the penalty imposed on fair-minded employers who provide equal benefits to their LGBT employees. On average an LGBT employee will pay $1,069 a year in federal taxes for employer provided spousal health care, according to the Williams Institute at UCLA. The Tax Parity for Health Plan Beneficiaries Act addresses a fundamental flaw in the U.S. tax code. Currently, employees are taxed on the fair market value of employer-provided health coverage for same-sex domestic partners or spouses. The same employer-provided health coverage for opposite-sex spouses is excluded from the employee’s gross income and no taxes are paid. While a growing number of fair-minded companies “gross up,” or pay LGBT employees with dependent partners more to offset the tax burden, most do not. Employees who elect to cover domestic partner or same-sex spouse pay more income and payroll tax and employers who offer benefits to domestic partners face the administrative burden of calculating taxes separately, and they also pay additional payroll taxes. “Health insurance is critical to the stability of any family and gay and lesbian couples shouldn’t be unfairly taxed,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “In removing a discriminatory tax burden, this legislation will make families stronger and will end the penalty imposed on fair-minded employers who provide equal benefits to their LGBT employees.” The number of major companies providing family benefits for domestic partners continues to rise. Currently, sixty-two percent of Fortune 500 companies offer these benefits as a matter of fundamental fairness. That is why a coalition of top employers like Dow, Corning, Chubb,

IBM, Microsoft, Nike, and dozens more support ending the taxation of health benefits, and endorse the Tax Parity for Health Plan Beneficiaries Act. “In today’s economy it is more important than ever that we are able to attract the best and brightest. Domestic partner benefits play a large role in our ability to recruit and retain top talent. This legislation would end the discriminatory tax burden our employees and their families face when we offer these important benefits to them,” said Howard Ungerleider, Executive Vice President, Advanced Materials, for the Dow Chemical Company and executive sponsor of Dow’s GLAD (Gays, Lesbians and Allies at Dow) Diversity Network. “We believe a diverse and inclusive workforce is one of our greatest strengths and a key measure of the wealth of our company,” said Karen Elinski, Senior Vice President and Head of Government Relations at TIAA-CREF. “Central to that commitment is providing health care benefits that include our employees’ diverse families. We are proud to support the Tax Parity for Health Plan Beneficiaries Act and salute Senator Chuck Schumer, our home state senator, and Sen. Susan Collins for their leadership.” To see a full listing of businesses which have publicly stated their support for this legislation, go to: http://www.hrc. org/resources/entry/business-coalitionfor-benefits-tax-equity-members.

13 macki, this picture was taken “probably one second after the explosion.” He writes: [The runner] was blown over by the blast and fell on the ground. The cops are just reacting as cops. They didn’t know what was going on. They’re pulling their guns out, looking left and right. They were pretty close to where the explosion went off and could have been killed or injured also.” Pandemonium reigned in that split second, but Tlumacki reports that the police almost immediately switched into crisis mode, clearing the area and trying to maintain some semblance of order amidst the chaos. (His account is incredibly compelling and worth reading in its entirety.) In addition to being one of the heroes of the Boston Marathon bombings, Pagan is a hero to the LGBT community: his position makes him the most highly visible LGBT member of the Boston Police force, he’s a member of the Gay Officer’s Action League, and he had the honor of escorting LGBT civil rights attorney Mary Bonauto to a celebration at City Hall plaza on the day same-sex marriages became legal in Massachusetts. And Pagan isn’t the only hero in his family: Pedro, his husband of four years, is a retired sergeant from the New York Police Department who served on 9/11 and helped rescue people from the rubble after the Twin Towers collapsed. Javier and Pedro are amazing examples of bravery and heroism -- not just for the LGBT community, but for all people. JoeMyGod.com

Houston trans student may wear dress to prom

Heroic Boston police officer is LGBT liaison This photograph, by John Tlumacki of the Boston Globe, taken immediately after the first explosion in April 16’s horrifying Boston Marathon bombings, has emerged as one of the iconic images of the day. And like all iconic images, it contains a number of compelling stories. The Dallas Voice has uncovered one such story, about the police officer on the far right. His name is Javier Pagan, and he’s the Boston Police Department’s liaison to the LGBT community. Boston Pride, which lists Pagan as a “good friend,” says that he happened to be standing right behind the flags where the first bomb went off. According to photographer John Tlu-

Tony Zamazal, a trans student at Spring High School in Houston, will be allowed to wear a dress to prom after the national and Texas ACLU got involved following reports in February that Zamazal’s request was denied, the ACLU reports: “Like every other student, Tony deserves to feel comfortable and be herself at prom,” said Amanda Goad, staff attorney with the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. “We’re glad that Spring ISD has affirmed Tony’s First Amendment rights.” The ACLU sent a letter to the principal on March 18, explaining that both federal law and the U.S. Constitution protect Zamazal’s right to wear a dress to prom. The school district responded and affirmed that it will allow Zamazal to attend the prom in the formal clothing of her choice. “Tony has the right under both federal statutes and the U.S. Constitution to express her gender identity,” said Adriana Pinon, senior staff attorney with the ACLU of Texas. “Students’ legal rights aren’t something that public schools get to put up to a vote. We’re happy to see the school do the right thing.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2PatTLIrL (Newsfronts continue page 14)

national and international (Newsfronts from page 13)

GOP state rep: antidiscrimination lawsuits are “frivolous” In early April Louisiana GOP state Rep. Alan Seabaugh filed a bill that would effectively ban employment discrimination lawsuits filed on the basis of sexual orientation. Equality Louisiana writes on their website: HB 402 by Rep. Alan Seabaugh (R-Shreveport) would require that any employment discrimination lawsuits filed for reasons other than a very short list of protected categories be automatically dismissed and considered “frivolous.” Currently, Louisiana law doesn’t explicitly protect people against discrimination based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. If HB 402 becomes law, courts would have grounds to dismiss discrimination cases that they decide are based on sexual orientation or gender identity – which current law does not protect – and makes workers pay damages and court costs to their employers, adding more financial burden to victims of workplace discrimination. Independent Media Group reports on their blog that Seabaugh’s bill would supersede any local anti-discrimination ordinances. Here’s the text of HB 402: Provides that suits filed for employment discrimination for any reason other than age, disability, race, color, religion, sex, national origin, pregnancy, childbirth and related medical conditions, sickle cell trait, and genetic discrimination shall be dismissed and considered frivolous. According to his Wikipedia profile, Seabaugh was the first Louisiana state rep

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013 elected with the backing of the Tea Party. In 2011 Seabaugh introduced an amendment which gutted a proposed anti-bullying bill.

Four males attack 17-year-old Calgary lesbian in hate crime An attack on a 17-year-old lesbian in Calgary, Canada is being investigated as a hate crime, CTV reports: The 17-year-old lesbian was jumped late Thursday night (April 14), shortly after getting off a transit bus near her home. The victim says a group of four teenagers attacked her, punching and kicking her several times, while using homophobic slurs. She says one of the attackers recorded the beating on his phone. “(I’m) pretty shaken up, it’s hard not to be scared,” says the victim. “This is my neighborhood and I’ve always felt safe in it and now I don’t. I’ve had people throw things at me and play ‘pick on the lesbian on the bus’, and put gum in my hair but nobody has physically assaulted me until now.” The victim says she has a black eye swollen so tight she can hardly open it, a split lip, and her mouth and forehead are cut open. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2QYyosiak

Ugandan haters rally at slain gay activist’s grave; mother is witness On Easter Sunday, antigay religious leaders in Uganda held a rally to launch the “Say No to Homosexuality” campaign, led by Pastor Solomon Male and the Reverend Thomas Musoke. The rally was held in Namataba Village, just outside the gravesite of slain gay activist

David Kato. Kato’s mother was reportedly inside the family home and saw the entire rally. Pastor Male was joined onstage by two people who claim they are “ex-gay,” both of whom said they were “recruited” into homosexuality by bribes and nonconsensual sodomy, according to a report provided to The Advocate by LGBTI activists Pepe Onziema and Jeffrey Ogwaro. The religious leaders also claimed that gay people force young men into homosexuality at gunpoint, when they aren’t bribing them with gifts and promises of an education. When Pastor Male took the stage, he hurled a rapid-fire stream of homophobic rhetoric at the crowd. Male claimed that Paul Kagaba, one of the “ex-gays” in attendance, had been recruited into homosexuality by Kato, delving into a graphic description alleging that the murdered activist sodomized Kagaba until his rectum tore and infected Kagaba with HIV. Male went on to explain the deliberate choice to launch his hate-filled campaign on the doorstep of Kato, who was bludgeoned to death inside his Kampala home in 2011. Police ruled the murder the result of a robbery, ignoring calls to investigate Kato’s death as a hate crime. Pastor Male said he launched the antigay campaign in Kato’s hometown “to make sure Namataba Village was not turned into a pilgrimage site for homosexuality because Kato was buried there,” according to Ogwaro, of Uganda’s Civil Society Coalition on Human Rights and Constitutional Law, who covertly attended the rally and shared a report with The Advocate. Pastor Male promised the crowd that the “Say No to Homosexuality” campaign was stepping off in Namataba Village but would continue throughout the country. During a question-and-answer session, one rally attendee asked a police officer if police dogs could be trained to sniff out homosexuality. Responding in Lugandan,

the officer answered, “Yes, it is possible.” The local police department attended and, according to reports, endorsed the rally. The organizers also praised Uganda’s Red Pepper tabloid for its ongoing coverage dedicated to outing LGBTI people in Uganda, often along with personal information, including home addresses and phone numbers. Shortly before activist Kato was found murdered, another tabloid called Rolling Stone (no relation to the U.S. magazine of the same name) published Kato’s picture on its front page announcing “Uganda’s Top 100 Homos,” under a banner reading “Hang Them.” The so-called Kill the Gays Bill continues to linger in the Ugandan parliament and has widespread support among members. But according to an article from Uganda’s Observer, MPs are hoping for a private, closed vote on the bill, to shield themselves from being “blacklisted,” as the bill’s author, MP David Bahati, claims he has been, due to international outrage at the Anti-Homosexuality Bill. But while antigay sentiment is strong in Uganda, LGBTI activists there contend it is not ubiquitous. “Homophobia is the real import to Uganda,” said Onziema, a transgender man and program director for LGBT advocacy group Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG). Onziema is an outspoken activist in a nation where simply acknowledging one’s homosexuality could bring a death sentence, and in 2012 he received the Clinton Global Initiative Award for his work. (Richard Lusimbo of SMUG was interviewed in the April issue of The Empty Closet.) To help change the hearts and minds of his fellow Ugandans, Onziema has teamed up with American videographer Tim McCarthy to produce a documentary about Ugandan LGBT life to be shown primarily to other Ugandans. The project uses the Lugandan equivalent of the English word “queer” to raise the Voices of the (Ugandan continues page 16)

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Opinion Paulk renounces “ex-gay” movement Burlington, Vt. - Truth Wins Out commends former “ex-gay” poster-boy John Paulk for taking an important first step in being honest about who he is, but stated that Paulk must do much more to make up for the damage he, his estranged wife and the Religious Right have done to the LGBT community over the last twenty years. In a piece in PQ Monthly, Paulk, who has perhaps done more to hurt LGBT families than any other single person in the “ex-gay” industry, states for the record that he no longer endorses efforts to change people’s sexuality: “Until recently, I have struggled all my life in feeling unloved and unaccepted,” Paulk said. “I have been on a journey during the last few years in trying to understand God, myself, and how I can best relate to others. During this journey I have made many mistakes and I have hurt many people including people who are close to me. I have also found a large number of people who accept me for who I am regardless of my past, any labels, or what I do.” Paulk continued, “I no longer support the ex-gay movement or efforts to attempt to change individuals - especially teens who already feel insecure and alienated. I feel great sorrow over the pain that has been caused when my words were misconstrued. I have worked at giving generously to the gay community in Portland where I work and live. I am working hard to be authentic and genuine in all of my relationships.” While John Paulk is to be commended, after so many years, for finally being

honest, Truth Wins Out believes much more needs to be done. According to Truth Wins Out Executive Director Wayne Besen, “It is not enough to simply send an e-mail that says, ‘I’m sorry.’ John Paulk must work to atone for the damage he has done to LGBT families by taking a public role in renouncing and working against the harmful ‘ex-gay’ industry by embarking on a speaking tour to show that he truly has changed. Further, he should advocate for a bill in Oregon that would ban so-called ‘reparative therapy’ for minors. Only then can he start to repair the damage he has done to countless LGBT people and their families.” John Paulk was at one time the most well known and influential person in the “ex-gay” industry, appearing on the cover of Newsweek with his wife Anne in 1998 under the headline “Gay For Life?” He was instrumental in forming the Love Won Out “ex-gay” roadshow, which subjected countless LGBT youth and their families to misinformation, indoctrination and lies, and which destroyed many families in the process. In 2000, Wayne Besen, founder of Truth Wins Out, photographed John Paulk coming out of a Washington, DC, gay bar, and the lies began to unravel. Though John resigned from the board of Exodus International following this incident, the Religious Right continued to use the Paulks’ story as evidence that the “ex-gay” life was a fairy tale rather than a nightmare, and many LGBT people and their families have been damaged or destroyed over the years as a result. John and his wife moved to Portland, Oregon, shortly thereafter and lived relatively quiet lives as John built a catering company called Mezzaluna, staffed by

curiously attractive gay men. John and Anne didn’t really disappear from the “exgay” scene, though. John spoke in 2010 at the Evergreen “ex-gay” conference, and in 2012, Anne was a co-founder of the Restored Hope Network, a group of “exgay” ministries that defected from Exodus International when Alan Chambers began to tell the truth, that reparative therapy and “ex-gay” ministries do not change anyone’s sexuality. Indeed, Anne seemed to double down on the lie at the group’s inaugural meeting. “I never thought I would be married and the mother of three sons,” she told the eager crowd mixed with anti-gay extremists and the hurting parents of gay children. Anne Paulk continues to propagate a false narrative of her own “ex-gay” life in order to stay in the spotlight and make money off of suffering LGBT people and their families. During this same time period, Truth Wins Out had been receiving reports that John and Anne Paulk had split up, and that John was living as an out gay man in Portland, frequenting gay bars and propositioning men for sex. In 2012, Truth Wins Out attempted to give Paulk an opportunity to set the record straight and come out with dignity, instead of continuing the lie that his family was an “ex-gay” success story, a narrative that the Religious Right uses to this day. When that offer was ultimately refused, Truth Wins Out released the results of an investigation that showed that ongoing narrative of “ex-gay” healing in the Paulk family was fraudulent, as John had been pursuing relationships with men who worked for him, buying them things and asking them for sexual favors. Focus On The Family and others

John Paulk

on the Religious Right have had ample opportunity to remove the Paulks from their literature and to stop using them as poster children for the lie that “ex-gay” programs work. While John expressed in the recent investigation that he no longer wanted to be associated with his “ex-gay” past, he was unwilling to publicly correct the record, and his estranged wife has continued to peddle their false story to any “ex-gay” charlatans who will listen. In light of John Paulk’s announcement, Truth Wins Out also calls upon Anne Paulk and the rest of the Religious Right to immediately cease using the Paulks’ story to sell harmful “exgay” therapy to vulnerable people. “Anne Paulk and her Religious Right cohort must immediately cease lying to people about the false ‘ex-gay Paulk fairy-tale,’” said Truth Wins Out Associate Director Evan Hurst. “Indeed, both Paulks should become poster children for the very real nightmare that has been the ‘ex-gay’ experience for so many LGBT people.” Truth Wins Out is a nonprofit organization that fights anti-LGBT extremism. TWO specializes in turning information into action by organizing, advocating and fighting for LGBT equality. ■

national and international ( Ugandan continued from page 14) Abasiyazzi, as the film is titled. The pair have launched a Kickstarter campaign to make the documentary a reality and are hoping to raise around $75,000.

Marriage equality becomes legal in France The French National Assembly has made a final vote approving marriage equality in a 331-225 vote. The vote went down April 23, shortly after a protest in the gallery. The Speaker ordered, “Get these enemies of democracy outside parliament!” There have been numerous violent protests against the new law by the Catholic church and anti-gay activists, including gay-bashings, bar burnings, a child used as a human shield and death threats to the families of liberal lawmakers. The U.S. hate group NOM has praised what it calls the “peaceful” anti-gay protests in France. France joins New Zealand, Uruguay, The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland, Argentina, and Denmark as the 14th nation to offer its citizens nationwide marriage equality. Brazil, Mexico, and of course the U.S. offer it in parts of the country. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2RIgg0zAr

Immigration bill excludes LGBT families LGBT rights groups expressed disappointment on April 16 when they learned that gay and lesbian families were left out of a long-anticipated comprehensive immigration reform bill. “We’re disappointed that we’re not in the base but we’ve always known that our best shot would be at the committee level,” said Fred Sainz, spokesman for the Human Rights Campaign. “The goal is to get into the underlying bill. How that happens is not as important as the fact that it happens.” Immigration Equality writes: “As we anticipated, however, the base bill does not include the Uniting American Families Act. (A ‘base bill’ is the first version of the legislation, before any lawmakers have an opportunity to make amendments, or changes, to the language.) “UAFA’s exclusion renders the bill incomplete. It is not comprehensive and is does not reflect the values or diversity of our country. Senators on the Judiciary Committee must allow a full and open amendment process that provides an opportunity to add UAFA as an amendment during that process. We need a majority of Committee members to support adding UAFA to the bill. This means the time is NOW to contact Judiciary Committee Senators and demand they

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013 vote for UAFA during the amendment process. “We will not give Senators of either party a pass on the inclusion of our families in immigration reform. We are watching – and we will remember – which lawmakers stand with us, and which stand to the side, when this critical vote happens. The Judiciary Committee includes Senators from states with full marriage equality, such as New York, Vermont, Connecticut and Iowa. Other states represented on the Committee – California, Texas and Arizona – are home to large numbers of LGBT binational families. Twenty six LGBT rights groups signed a statement of solidarity on the legislation including the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force; GLAAD; the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR); the Queer Undocumented Immigrant Project (QUIP), a project of the United We Dream Network; National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (NQAPIA); and Immigration Equality. “The current broken system hurts, scapegoats and vilifies all immigrants, including LGBT immigrants, and their friends and families. Comprehensive federal immigration reform is an urgent priority for our nation and the LGBT community,” said Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. Said President Obama in a statement: “This afternoon, Senators Schumer and McCain briefed me on the bipartisan immigration reform bill that they have drafted with their colleagues in the Senate. This bill is clearly a compromise, and no one will get everything they wanted, including me. But it is largely consistent with the principles that I have repeatedly laid out for comprehensive reform. This bill would continue to strengthen security at our borders and hold employers more accountable if they knowingly hire undocumented workers. It would provide a pathway to earned citizenship for the 11 million individuals who are already in this country illegally. I urge the Senate to quickly move this bill forward and, as I told Senators Schumer and McCain, I stand willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that comprehensive immigration reform becomes a reality as soon as possible.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2QjEOtXFl

Trans health issues: HIV Advisory Council trans resolution; surgery coverage reconsidered Transgender Law Center applauds the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/ AIDS (PACHA) for passing a groundbreaking resolution recommending ways to address the high rates of HIV/AIDS among transgender communities throughout the United States. Recently made public, the resolution was passed in February. PACHA’s advice and recommendations are vitally important in assisting the White

House to implement the National HIV/ AIDS Strategy. This resolution is groundbreaking in nature, as it is the first time PACHA has issued a transgender-specific set of recommendations. “We’re incredibly grateful to PACHA for passing such a strong and compelling resolution,” said Cecilia Chung, Senior Strategist. “These recommendations, if implemented, will meet some of the dire needs of our community, which include data collection, education, and culturally competent prevention and care for transgender people, as our community continues to face extreme violence and discrimination which contribute to a high prevalence of HIV/AIDS.” Some of PACHA’s 15 recommendations include: Relevant Health and Human Services (HHS) operating divisions should dedicate grant funds to projects specifically focusing on transgender health, particularly in the context of HIV prevention and treatment… The Indian Health Service (IHS) should develop a health services protocol specific to providing culturally and clinically appropriate care for male and female bodied, Two-Spirit individuals, including HIV prevention, education, outreach, and treatment; And The Centers for Medicaid and Medicare Services (CMS) should require facilities and providers receiving any federal funding to undertake regular staff trainings on transgender cultural competency. The report “Injustice at Every Turn” is one of the few studies that has some data about transgender HIV rates. According to the report, the HIV sero-prevelance among transgender women in the U.S. is more than seven times the national average. The PACHA resolution notes that there is a lack of adequate data about transgender HIV risk and infection rates and recommends ways to collect it. It also points out that transgender people are protected from discrimination in the Affordable Care Act and lists ways to ensure agencies are aware of this and have adequate funding in place to care for transgender people. Transgender Law Center works to educate legislators, policymakers, and advocates about the importance of addressing the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the transgender community, and eliminating discriminatory barriers that transgender people face when attempting to access quality care. The staff has held meetings with personnel from HHC, HRSA, and the CDC to help educate them about the important issues addressed in the PACHA resolution. Additionally, in collaboration with Lyon-Martin Health Services, Transgender Law Center has spearheaded Project HEALTH: Harnessing Education, Advocacy, and Leadership in Transgender Health. Since 2008, Project HEALTH has led a comprehensive effort to improve access to and quality of healthcare for transgender people throughout California, and increasingly in other regions as well. Project HEALTH has trained more than

60 students in professional health programs through a clinical rotation hosted at Lyon-Martin Health Services and provided administrative, cultural, and clinical training to more than 25 community clinics and hospitals. In September, Project HEALTH launched TRANSLINE, an online consultation service for healthcare professionals seeking help caring for transgender patients. The team of leading organizations and practitioners has responded to more than 70 requests since September, with a 100 percent satisfaction rating. Transgender Law Center works to change law, policy, and attitudes so that all people can live safely, authentically, and free from discrimination regardless of their gender identity or expression. http://www. transgenderlawcenter.org To learn more contact Mark Snyder, mark@transgenderlawcenter.org, 415.865.0176 ext. 310. Medicare coverage of sex reassignment surgery: reconsidered Medicare, beginning March 28 and for a 30 day period, invited comments from the public regarding reconsideration of its current policy to deny coverage of sexual reassignment surgery. This gave trans people a chance to have their voices heard. CMS opened this reconsideration of the NCD on Surgical Treatment for Gender Identity Disorder, Section 140.3 of the NCD Manual and considered all public comments. Surgical Treatment for Gender Identity Disorder (formerly referred to as transsexual surgery in 140.3) is currently non-covered under the Medicare Part A and Part B programs. The existing policy, which became effective in 1981, states that transsexual surgery is considered experimental.

SCOTUS ruling may harm Ugandan lawsuit The Supreme Court has ruled in a case that may set a precedent regarding the crimes against humanity lawsuit brought by Ugandan LGBT activists against American hate group leader, Scott Lively. The US Supreme Court ruled unanimously April 17 in Kiobel v. Royal Dutch Petroleum that nothing in the Alien Tort Statute of 1789 rebuts the US presumption against extraterritoriality and that suits challenging torture and international law violations that took place overseas cannot be brought in US Court. Chief Justice John Roberts authored the majority opinion. Kiobel was held over from last term when the court decided, after oral arguments, that the parties should brief on the circumstance when the ATS should apply extraterritorially. On Wednesday the court held that extraterritorial disputes – disputes concerning foreign actors that violate treaties to which the US is a party – cannot be litigated in the US under the ATS, and “sufficient force” is necessary to displace that presumption. The opinion also suggested that “mere corporate presence” will not suffice to bring suit in the US.

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet Lively’s Liberty Counsel, identified by Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group, is already claiming victory.

Ohio Catholic school fires lesbian teacher A Catholic school in Ohio has fired a teacher after an anonymous person sent the school a copy of the obituary for the teacher’s mother. The obituary mentioned the teacher’s same-sex partner. When Carla Hale, 57, received her termination letter from Bishop Watterson Principal Marian Hutson, Hale said she was in, “total shock. Like your legs had just been cut out from under you.” The letter was from the Columbus Diocese and signed by Hutson. “I turned to the principal and I said, ‘Are we talking like immediately? Am I supposed to leave the building?’ And she just, she said, ‘Yes.’” That was March 28, and Hale hasn’t been back since. Hale is gay. And she said that is the reason the Columbus Diocese fired her, for what it said was a violation of moral law. An anonymous letter, along with Hale’s mother’s obituary, was sent to the Diocese in February. Hale’s same-sex partner was listed in the obit. Over 11,000 people have signed an online petition for Hale to get her job back. -JoeMyGod.com

RNC resolution reaffirms opposition to marriage equality The Republican National Committee approved a resolution reaffirming its stance against the freedom to marry for same-sex couples on April 14. Evan Wolfson, president and founder of Freedom to Marry, issued the following statement: “With Republican support for the freedom to marry increasing every day -- aided by the journeys of leaders like Senators Mark Kirk and Rob Portman -- the RNC is showing itself out of touch with this resolution. A party that claims to value individual freedom, personal responsibility, family stability, and limited government should be embracing the freedom to marry, as have a growing majority of young Republicans. RNC leaders would do well to align themselves with these supporters, who represent the party’s future, instead of digging in against the right side of history.”

New Zealand approves marriage equality by 77 to 44: song follows vote New Zealand’s Parliament on April 16 passed a law legalizing gay marriage, 77 votes to 44, amid loud shows of jubilation from the floor and the gallery. The declaration of the vote was followed by a waiata (a Maori song, sung by the entire parliament). MPs held a conscience vote on the private member’s bill sponsored by gay Labour MP Louisa Wall. The bill will take effect in mid August and comes 27 years after New Zealand decriminalised homosexuality. “Yay, we did it,’’ was the celebratory catch cry from Ms. Wall when she spoke to media waiting in Parliament April 16 after the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill passed. “Following last week’s vote for marriage in Uruguay, New Zealand today became the 16th country where same-sex couples can now share in the freedom to marry -- and grew the number of freedom to marry continents to five,” said Evan Wolfson, founder and president of Freedom to Marry. “With France poised to embrace the freedom to marry within the month, and England and others likely to move to marriage this year, the global momentum for the freedom to marry is undeniable. The momentum is there because the more people have talked about gay people and why marriage matters, the more it’s become clear there is no good reason to continue the exclusion from marriage. It’s time for decision-makers in the United States to end the denial of marriage, do right by all families, and uphold our own American commitment to liberty and justice for all.” The first weddings for same-sex couples are expected to begin in mid-August, four months after the Governor-General signs the bill into law. With the law’s passage, New Zealand will become the 16th country in the world to provide nationwide or regional recognition for married same-sex couples. New Zealand MP Maurice Williamson gave one of the greatest speeches ever delivered at the marriage equality debate. Said Williamson to great laughter (Towleroad transcript): “I’ve had a reverend in my local electorate say the ‘gay onslaught will start the day this law is passed’. So, we are struggling to know what the gay onslaught will look like. We don’t know if it will come down

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the Pakaranga highway as a series of troops or whether it will be a gas that flows over the electorate and blocks us all in… “I also had a Catholic priest tell me that I was supporting an unnatural act. I found that interesting coming from someone who has taken an oath of celibacy for his whole life… “I also had a leader tell me I would burn in the fires of hell for eternity and that was a bad mistake because I’ve got a degree in physics. I used the thermodynamic laws of physics. I put in my body weight and my humidity and so on. I assumed the furnace to be at 5000 degrees and I will last for just on 2.1 seconds… “One of the messages I’d had was that this bill was the cause of our drought. This bill was the cause of our drought. Well if any of you follow my Twitter account, in the Pakuranga electorate this morning, it was pouring with rain, we had the most enormous big gay rainbow across my electorate. It has to be a sign.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2QjE3KvIe

Irish Constitutional Convention backs marriage equality Ireland’s Constitutional Convention wants marriage equality, RTE reports: The vote was 79 in favor and 18 against, with the rest expressing no opinion. The decision was taken by 29 members of the Oireachtas, three members of the Stormont Assembly and 65 citizens selected by a polling company to represent a cross-section of the Republic’s electorate broken down by age, gender and region. The Government has promised to decide on whether to accept the recommendation after an Oireachtas debate on the Convention’s reports later this year. The outcome represents a major boost for the campaign for equality for gay and lesbian couples and children in their households with the rest of the families in the State.

Tenth Brazilian state legalizes gay marriage The Brazilian state of Parana has become the tenth in that nation to legalize same-sex marriage. According to a count by the office of Rep. Jean Wyllys, Brazil’s first openly gay lawmaker, 10 states out of 27 now automatically convert such unions into marriage; they include Alagoas, Bahia, Ceara, Sergipe, Espiritu Santo, Piaui, Sao Paulo, Parana, Mato Grosso do Sul and the Federal District. Marriages conducted in those 10 states are recognized nationwide.

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Pro gun groups conspire with anti gay hate group Two pro-gun groups conspired with an anti-gay hate group to create political mailers that used a gay couple’s copyrighted engagement photo to attack candidates in the 2012 Colorado Republican primaries, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), which filed a motion with the court April 3, seeking to add the pro-gun groups and other individuals as defendants to the ongoing federal lawsuit brought on behalf of the couple and photographer. The motion reveals a scheme in which two Colorado-based pro-gun groups, the National Association for Gun Rights (NAGR) and the Rocky Mountain Gun Owners (RMGO), worked with Public Advocate of the United States to produce

17 mailings that used the photo of Brian Edwards and Thomas Privitere (son of Rochester’s Tom Privitere Sr.), created and owned by Kristina Hill, without the photographer or couple’s permission. The mailers were a way for the Virginia-based Public Advocate of the United States, which has been designated as an anti-gay hate group by the SPLC, to insert itself into the 2012 Colorado Republican primaries. For RMGO, and NAGR, these mailings were a part of a larger attack against the candidates. The organizations came together to use the topic of LGBT rights as a polarizing topic to advance their own agendas. “This scheme not only shows the utter disregard these groups have for private property, but also the hatred and discrimination that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people must still face in society,” said Anjali Nair, SPLC staff attorney. “There should be no doubt that we will aim to ensure everyone is held accountable for their involvement in this attack against innocent people.” The SPLC also sought to add as defendants Dudley Brown, founder and executive director of RMGO and executive vice president of the NAGR, as well as Lucius O’Dell and Andrew Brown, employees of the National Association for Gun Rights. Public Advocate was named as a defendant when the lawsuit was originally filed in September 2012. Dudley Brown proposed the mailers in an April 2012 email to Public Advocate where he described how “[t]he gay lobby smells blood in the water, and if some pro-gay legislators don’t lose their primaries, I fear Colorado will tumble [i.e., pass legislation authorizing civil unions] in the 2013 session.” He added: “What I propose is that PA [Public Advocate] pay for mailing. ... My staff and I would do all the work, but we’d want PA to sign off, put its name on the dotted line, and pay for the mailings. I would counsel mailing slick and glossies, with the ‘two men kissing’ photo.” The mailers featured an engagement photo that showed Edwards and Privitere kissing. In the mailers, however, the New York City skyline was removed from the background and replaced with snowy and rural backgrounds suggestive of Colorado. In one mailer, bold words on a red background were added to the picture of the couple kissing: “State Senator Jean White’s idea of ‘Family Values?’” A similar mailer was used to attack House candidate Jeffrey Hare. Both candidates lost their primaries. “It’s shocking that so many groups worked together to defile a photo that meant so much to me,” Privitere said. “I am sickened by this discovery and the depths these groups are willing to sink to attack the gay community. It’s obvious they don’t care who they hurt, just as long as they get their propaganda out.” The couple has received hate messages since the mailers were produced. Internet postings have said that the couple deserves to go to hell and to be killed, and that any children they may have would be better off dead. The lawsuit, filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Colorado, charges that the defendants misappropriated the likeness and personalities of the couple. It also charges that they infringed on photographer Kristina Hill’s exclusive right to the photo, which is registered with the U.S. Copyright Office. This isn’t the first time Public Advocate, based in Falls Church, Va., has attacked the LGBT community. A fundraising letter asked readers to “imagine a world where the police allow homosexual adults to rape young boys in the streets.” The group has even compared marriage equality to bestiality by staging a “Man-Donkey Mock Wedding Ceremony.” A copy of the lawsuit can be viewed at http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/ case-docket/kristina-hill-et-al-v-publicadvocate-of-the-united-states. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

There’s No Place Like Pride

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester, NY 14624 from 1 to 3pm. Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org - Join us!

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On

From 1970 to 1990 Rochester’s Gay and Lesbian Movement Grows and Evolves By Evelyn Bailey This month our series on gay and lesbian history continues. We will look at what occurred over these 20 years from 1970 to 1990 with excerpts from Jeff Lehigh’s Empty Closet article of March, 1990. The Gay Liberation Front of Rochester founded The Empty Closet in January 1971. The first issue was pamphlet-sized, and following issues were single sheets with news and information about meetings and other community concerns of the time. The GLF, housed at the University of Rochester at 201 Todd Union, River Station, became the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley in June 1973, and moved to 812 Brown St. At this point the EC was a biweekly four pagc newsletter. The December 1975 issue was thicker, with two pieces of paper, making eight pages of news. In April 1974, the Alliance and the EC moved to the Genesee Co-op, 713 Monroe Ave. Both the Gay Alliance and The Empty Closet have come a long way from their humble beginnings 42 years ago, but some of the issues that were being raised then are still current today. We are still fighting for elder rights, to stop bullying and for marriage equality for all. In the early ‘70s, the Gay Liberation Front gave an estimate of 28,000 gays and lesbians in Monroe County. Although this number may have been shocking to the heterosexual community, it was still an estimate based on the Kinsey theory that four percent of the population is exclusively homosexual. In the early ‘70s

the GLF encouraged people to come out, probably the first time that the same expression was used by the gay and the heterosexual communities at the same time. It was mainly used by the media, but soon came to be commonly employed. To “come out” meant to emerge from the closet publicly, to acknowledge one’s own lesbian or gay identity. Today there is an estimated 600,000+ LGBT individuals living in Monroe County. On April 14, 1978, the Brockport Gay Freedom League held an unusual event – National Gay Bluejeans Day. Students at SUNY Brockport and other area colleges had to decide if they were going to wear blue jeans or dress slacks. National Bluejeans Day had been an annual event at Florida State and Michigan State Universities at the time. The day was used to urge students to support gay rights and show their support by wearing blue jeans. Today we celebrate Coming Out Day on October 11. Visibility remains a challenge. A large event, the Rally for Rights, was held at Genesee Crossroads Park on Sept. 24, 1978. The official count was about 800 gays, lesbians, and supporters. Leonard Matlovich, a former Air Force sergeant who had been discharged from the military when he came out, spoke at the rally. His story appeared in Time magazine that same year. The Rally for Rights was held in response to the appearance of Anita Bryant at the Dome Arena in the Monroe County Fairgrounds. Bryant had been campaigning against gay rights for two years in Dade County Fla. with her “Save The Children” campaign. When a reporter asked if Bryant thought that homosexuality was contagious, she replied “No, but I believe it’s a learned behavior, and I don’t want my kids to learn it.” Such incorrect stereotypes have plagued the gay community for centuries. Another is the concept that “homosexuality can be cured.” The Nazis, for instance, tried to “cure” gay men in concentration camps by having them visit brothels. Castration was another option. In the ‘80s, Rochester saw AIDS rights protests by ACT UP, such as an April 1988 demonstration during a debate by Democratic presidential candidates in the Eastman Theater. The presence of protestors caused the candidates to deal with the issue of AIDS during the televised debate. The Names Project Quilt came to Rochester on May 20, 1989. The Quilt was shown at Monroe Community College in the gymnasium, and large crowds came to view its moving record of lives lost to AIDS. Volunteers at the showing wore white, and most carried small boxes of tissue which went quickly, since many wept openly at this display of only a small portion of the Quilt. The Quilt

filled most of the gym floor, with walkways around each group of panels, as well as covering the walls and hanging from the ceiling. A month later, Rochester experienced its first Gay and Lesbian Pride March, which marked the 20th anniversary of the Stonewall riots in New York City. Well over 300 people marched on June 28 from Genesee Crossroads Park to the Liberty Pole, where a rally was held with speakers and entertainment. I was a marshal for the First Gay Pride March in 1989. There were hecklers then as there are now. The Gay Pride Parade today as then is a celebration of our diversity, and a challenge to be visible and supportive. These are some of the events which took place during the ’70s and ’80s that our shoulders stand on today. Many men and women worked hard to keep our issues in front of the Rochester community. Shoulders To Stand On is proud to recognize and celebrate the contributions made by these men and women during the ’70s and ’80s.

40 and Fabulous 2013 Pride Picnic! By Evelyn Bailey, 2013 Picnic Chair There’s no place like Pride! The 2013 picnic will be an Old Fashioned Picnic – the way it used to be! Retro is the theme. Wear your bellbottoms, shorts, white socks and sneaks! This year’s Pride Picnic will serve hot dogs, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, baked beans, chips, watermelon, soda and beer in Canalside. All of this for $20 in advance or $25 at the gate. Without beer, the cost will be $15 in advance and $20 at the gate. Without beer and food, the entrance fee will be $10 in advance and $15 at the gate. Children under 12 pay no entrance fee and will be served food for $5. For those who want more, you will be able to purchase food items at a nominal cost. There will be no other food vendors at the picnic. Abbott’s Ice Cream will be on hand to satisfy your sweet tooth and your dog’s, if you bring one. Please purchase your ticket in advance so we can plan the quantity of food more accurately. We will have our Annual Picnic Site Contest with a “retro’’ theme. Take us back in time to the ‘70s by decorating your site with “antiques” from an earlier era. Let’s celebrate our 40th anniversary by taking a walk down memory lane! The Pride Picnic will have dancing in the Roundhouse, and a children’s area in Riverbend, complete with a bounce house, and other fun activities. Genesee Valley Park provides the setting for our community picnic as it has for the past 40 years! See you in the Park!

The 40 and Fabulous 2013 Pride Fundraiser of the summer! There’s No Place Like Pride! Just click your heals together three times and immerse yourself in fun, flag raising, floats, music, entertainment, glitz, glamour, parties, family activities, food, drink, picnic and more! Rochester has much to celebrate and be proud of! For 40+ years the LGBT community in Rochester has worked hard to make Rochester the “gay friendly” city it is. The Gay Alliance has led the way in these efforts. Pride, the major Gay Alliance event of the summer, is a wonderful way to help us celebrate our accomplishments, while also helping to support this amazing organization. The Parade, Festival and Picnic, great community events, come with substantial cost which the Gay Alliance cannot cover without the financial support of sponsors and the admission fees collected at the gate. Costs include location rental, tent rental, security costs, entertainment costs, port-a-johns, etc. to name just a few. Pride is a fundraiser for the Gay Alliance. This year marks the 40th Anniversary of the Gay Alliance and the Gay Pride Picnic, the 24th Anniversary of the Parade and Festival. We expect there to be a record number of attendees. The theme this year is There’s No Place Like Pride, inspired by the fabulous classic film Wizard of Oz. So make sure to purchase your Ruby Pass on-line at www. gayalliance.org, grab your ruby slippers and help us make this event a ruby anniversary celebration to remember!

History Corner A monthly newsletter of the University of Rochester Gay Liberation Front, May, 1973. During May the GLF begins to plan for moving off the U of R Campus to 812 Brown St. HAPPENINGS SUN 6 MAY: “GAY LEGISLATIVE PROGRAM” A discussion of the laws before the assembly and senate with a letter writing session. Bring pen and paper, 8:15. Preceded by a coffee hour and business meeting at 7:30. Business topic: Name, location, purpose, and membership in the new community gay group. Todd Union, Music Lounge, River campus., SUN 13 MAY: “GLF ON THE MOVE” planning for the community outreach via the relocation of community members and a “mini – please touch” session, 8:15. Preceded by a coffee hour and business meeting at 7:30. Business topic: Organization, finance of new community group. Todd Union, Music Lounge, River campus. SUN 20 MAY THE NUMBERS GAME/THE GAY PERSON’S FEAR OF AGING, 8:15. Preceded by coffee hour and business meeting at 7:30. Business topic: Amendments and bylaws of new community group. SUN 27 MAY “Picnic” for the GLF Family. Bring your own meal and some spare to share. Call 275-6181 for details. Fun supplied or bring your own games, songs, etc. GROW (GAY REVOLUTION OF WOMEN) LIST MAY MEETINGS SUN 6 MAY: Steering Committee 3 – 5 pm. SUN 13 MAY: General Meeting. A working meeting writing letters in support of gay legislation 3 – 5 pm. SAT 19 MAY Social meeting: DANCE 8pm. SUN 27 MAY: Guest speaker: Julie Lee from DOB, Farmwood, New Jersey. 3 – 5 pm. All meetings are at the Women’s Center, 185 East Ave. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up Twenty Minutes By Eric Bellmann Feels like an hour. Or Eternity. Twenty minutes late. W. gets off at 4. It takes 10 minutes to get to his car. Then 15 minutes to get here. That’s what he thought. Did W. really say he was coming over right after work? There are no tapes to re-play. He doesn’t know. So he waits and stares out the window. W. should have been here by 4:30. It’s nearly five. And what happens next is fascinating in the extreme. Was it all a game? He wonders, was he being punked? He marshals the energy to consider variables. A flat tire. An accident. Did he have a heart attack in the parking lot. The toughest sentence in the English language is: I don’t know. So he speculates, imagines and none of it is good. He imagines W. doesn’t really care. It’s all a game and he is always the loser. He goes right away to the bad place and stays there but not for long, not for an eternity, just slightly more than twenty minutes. Then he remembers a number of things and tries to stop his mind from racing. He’s playing the old tape. Rejection is always his fall back attitude, what he remembers, what he is familiar with, it was how he was raised. But he’s worked on this. Years of therapy. Spiritual training. He has awareness. He has the capacity to face the lie of abandonment. It just isn’t easy. And then awareness reminds him that all these dire thoughts are just that: thoughts. His active brain is telling him a story. It’s ideas based on feelings based on history and it’s all in his head. The remedy? Remove head! Can’t do that. Maybe just shake his head real hard and dislodge those notions. He can do that. He can remind himself that this is what He does in a panic: feel hurt, then shift to anger. Anger is great, energizing. The nerve of it all, the injustice. How dare W. treat him this way. Yes, he’s been had, played once again. Has W. never heard of karma? He thought he had good karma. Why is this happening to me? At 15 minutes overdue he is ready to pick up the phone and scream in rage. Or text. Rage is harder to express in a text. Damn technology. And that is the mistake he doesn’t make. Not this time, at least. Anger is the treat, the buzz, the high, a comparative happy place to land believe it or not. It has the potential for action, for lashing out, for returning the hurt. And that is the mistake. Stay with the hurt. Remember where it came from. All those old tapes, those ancient situations. Relive them. Dismiss them. Choose discomfort over resentment. Every time. So he paces. And worries. In silence. Instead he reaches for the phone and dials the number and purrs into the phone, “I’m looking out the window, waiting to see you, wondering when I will.” Three minutes later his cell phone makes its familiar noise, a text appears, “Had to stop for gas, be there in five.” And indeed, in four minutes there is W. walking towards the house. Innocent babe, not a clue to my drama, the storm that has passed. They will not talk about

this. The last twenty minutes will be his little secret. Gone is the fear. The mistake was not made this time. He knows he’ll go to this horrible place again. That’s life. But he knows how to get through it. Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Faith Matters Another tackle in the world of homophobic sports By Rev. Irene Monroe Another former professional athlete came out last month — 6’, 7” Jamaican-born NFL offensive tackle Kwame Harris. With news of LGBT equality in the news daily, one may wonder why this is news at all. But it is. The world of sports is quickly becoming the last closet where gays and lesbians hide their sexual orientation. In a homophobic, testosteronedriven sport, like American football, Harris’s concealment is understandable. The African American community desperately needs openly LGBT public role models. We need them to come out and denounce homophobic bullying, vitriol, and discrimination. Very few role models have come from the Black Church. That leaves many of us lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) brothers and sisters of African descent looking to black role models, especially males, in the areas of entertainment and sports. But sadly, that list too is short, which is why I applaud Harris. It’s important to note that, to date, no NFL player has come out while still in the game. NFL Players Association president Domonique Foxworth thinks Harris’s coming out will encourage those players in the game to follow suit, but Seahawks defensive end Chris Clemons queries any future gay player’s motive for doing so. “I’m not against anyone but I think it’s [coming out] a selfish act. They just trying to make themselves bigger than the team,” Clemons told Danny O’Neil of the Seattle Times. Clemons cloaks his homophobic tirade as a gay player’s ploy to draw attention away from the team and toward himself. “That’s one of the primary reasons no player has done it. Football players want to play football, and they generally don’t want to create a distraction for themselves or others on the team. Even if teammates have no issue with a player being honest about who he is, some teammates won’t understand why the player felt compelled to grab a megaphone and let the world know private, personal information that results in a microphone eventually being stuck in all their faces,” Mike Floro posted on NBC Sports blog “Pro Football Talk.” The only way to allow LGBTQ athletes to openly engage in their sport of choice is to purge homophobic stereotypes from its milieu. But not all sports are open to it. Harris said one of the reasons for staying in the closet about his sexual orientation was because both his college and professional environments made it impossible to come out without derailing his career.

Harris told AP “his mind went to ‘dark places at times’ as he struggled with his secret identity” because “being gay and being a professional football player in the NFL were ‘incompatible.’” Harris knows that homophobia espoused by African American sports professionals like Clemons is shaped by a particular type of black masculinity that no longer has to break through this country’s color barrier to represent the race and prove athletic prowess or manhood in sports. It is now a black hyper-masculinity and urban aesthetic shaped by hip-hop culture and “video-mercials” that not only exploit women, but also unabashedly denigrate and go after lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people. And they care little about its deleterious effects on all children – straight and gay. The aggressive posturing and repudiation of LGBTQ people allow these athletes to feel safe in the locker room by maintaining the myth that all the guys gathered on their team are heterosexual, and sexual attraction among them just does not exist. This myth allows homophobic teammates to enjoy the homo-social setting of the male locker room that creates male bonding – and the physical and emotional intimacy that goes on among them. The homoerotic slaps on the buttocks, hugging, and kissing on the cheek that happen on the field and locker room would be labeled gay anywhere else. LGBTQ professional athletes must constantly monitor how they are being perceived by teammates, coaches, and endorsers to avoid suspicion. They are expected to maintain a public silence so that their identity does not tarnish the rest of the team. Whenever discrimination is the culprit for barring great athletes from competing openly, it is not only the athletes who miss out, but so too the world. For example, male synchronized swimmers, unfortunately, are still barred from competing in the Olympics. A month before the London 2012 Olympic Games began, Out To Swim, Britain’s gay male synchro team, wrote a letter to the International Olympic Committee and FINA, the international federation governing body of swimming, contesting that males deserve to compete in synchronized swimming, and their discriminatory rules need to be changed in time for the 2016 games in Rio de Janeiro. I could have never imaged an openly gay professional boxer. Then I found Orlando Cruz. Cruz is not only fierce in the ring but he is also fierce for having the courage to come out. As part of an old bastion of heterosexual masculinity, Cruz as well as today’s female boxers are breaking down walls and dispelling stereotypes. While Orlando Cruz is not the only gay professional boxer in the history of the sport; he is, however, the first to make it public.  In Oct. 2012 this 31-year-old Puerto Rican featherweight was revving up to challenge Mexican boxer Jorge Pazos for the World Boxing Organization’s (WBO) Latino title. Cruz had more than a good chance at it. He won. And he was the first to knock out a stereotype.    Harris is doing the same.

A Few Bricks Short Mother’s Day By David Hull Ah, yes, the month of May – springtime, sunshine, flowers and robins bob-bobbobbin’ along. May is the month of Memorial Day, the unofficial start of the summer season. And, of course, how can we forget, May is also the time for Mother’s Day. I’ll be sure to honor my Mom on her special day. After all, my mother is a special lady – crazy, but special.

Dear old Mom has always had a delightful way of keeping our family’s life full and adventuresome. In her younger days, she had a heartwarming tradition of always causing some sort of bizarre excitement for every holiday. One Thanksgiving afternoon she took a break from the cooking and went to get the good linen tablecloth off the back clothesline. On her way into the house, she slipped on an icy patch on the porch steps and fell headfirst through the glass storm door. She ended up in the emergency room, had a few stitches, but the entire time her main concern was if anyone had checked to make sure she didn’t get any blood on the good linen tablecloth. Another time, it was late on Christmas Eve, after my siblings and I were snug in our beds, when Mom tripped coming down the attic stairs with her arms filled with brightly wrapped gifts. There arose such a clatter, my brother and I sprang from our beds to see what was the matter. We rushed to our mother’s side and quickly rolled her over … to see whose gifts she had fallen upon. That year it was easy to spot my brother’s gifts under the tree – his were the flat ones. Then there was the Independence Day celebration when Mom thought it would be fun for her father, my grandfather, to set off some small fireworks to entertain the family. Fireworks are dangerous, we were told, so only the men were allowed out in the backyard; the women and children stayed in the house, peeking out the open dining room windows into the twilight. The first rocket my grandfather launched spun wildly out of control, then soared through the open dining room window, barely missing my head. Accompanied by the hysterical screams of my aunts, the rocket flew across the dining room, into the living room and crash landed on the couch where it fizzled out, leaving a small, round scorch mark on the cushion. And for the rest of my childhood, my mother could never fathom why I had such an “unreasonable” fear of fireworks. But it isn’t just her physical abilities that cause attention. She has a very unusual way of looking at language as well. One time she was helping me with a 6th grade social studies presentation about the National Parks and she reminded me not to forget: “Yose Mite National Park.” Yes, two words: Yose and Mite. I could have killed my mother a few days later when the teacher corrected me in front of all my giggling classmates that it was actually pronounced Yo-sem-i-te National Park. I remember one time when Mom wanted to know who put the yapalat in the refrigerator. That confused all of us. “Yapalat? Is it a fruit?” asked my sister. “Yapalat? Is that some kind of drugs?” my father wanted to know. We quickly uncovered the mystery when we looked in the fridge to see that my brother had bought a couple of cups of Yoplait Greek yogurt. And the sad thing is that my sister and I still call it that. “Hey, David, did you see the coupon in today’s paper for 75 cents of Yaplat?” A few years ago when my sister announced that she was expecting triplets my whole family was thrilled. “It’s a pretty incredible thing,” I commented to my mother. “Triplets are only conceived once in three million times.” “Goodness gracious me,” replied my mother. “When did your sister ever have time to do any housework?” A guy I was dating years ago came over to my parents’ house for dinner and at the end of the evening he commented to me: “Your mother is an angel fallen down from Heaven.” “Yeah,” I replied. “So was Satan.” But I don’t want to paint a bad picture of my mother -- she can do that all by herself. I remember lots of good times too – birthdays and vacations and warm chocolate chip cookies when I got home

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet from school and grilled cheese and tomato soup on snowy afternoons. I remember my Mom letting me stay up late to watch Star Trek even though she kept asking: “Why in the world are that man’s ears pointed?” I also recall her telling me: “You can be anything you want to be, as long as it makes you happy.” I guess she was telling the truth – our relationship didn’t change a bit after I told her I was gay. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Contact David at davidhull59@aol. com

Cleaning My Closet Containment By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger I fear the Lesbian Police will seize my microwave. Yet another one of my live-in, same-sex relationships has exploded. Wedding vows have vaporized. Shrapnel has bombarded my home. Shrapnel has lodged in my heart. It really does not make any difference why or how the gash started. In any case, the answers depend on whether you watch 20/20 or Fox News. What does make a difference is the small word “legal” connected to the large word “lawyer.” I should have remembered that statistics confirm marriages are prone to dissolution. It was only a few years ago that Wise Wary Ones reminded LGBT New Yorkers that the right to legally marry came attached to the right to legally divorce. The first Right is lots of fun. The second one not so much. The Massachusetts marriage license cost only $25. It was July, a perfect day on Cape Cod. The marriage ceremony was performed by, believe it or not, a

spiritual womyn named Faith Lavender. Flying above the meadow of daisies and Queen Anne’s Lace, sweet notes from Faith’s Native American flute purified the air. The voices of friends chanted poetic words of sage advice. Sips of purple juice from the sea-blue Blessing Goblet symbolized shared promises of forever. It must have been that flute. I think it was out of tune. Because “forever” expired two years later. And the New York divorce cost many dollars and a torrent of tears. Dividing marital property reminded me of the day my sister and I faced a house filled with our just-dead mother’s stuff. What should we take? What could we leave? Sister and I decided that any Thing that we had given her would be ours to take away. The rest we peacefully sorted into I-Want piles. Similarly with divorce, but the guidelines included the logical return of individual possessions accumulated prior to our Move-In-Togetherness. A detailed inventory printed neatly on lined paper facilitated the distribution of the Whats we had acquired during the twelve years of our cohabiting. Then the moving van took away all her belongings, except her heart. That had moved out long ago. Eventually I had to face the Paper Lies, decide how to discard them. Hand written vows from the private, hillside commitment ceremony, May 2001. The Certificate of Domestic Partnership, #25 issued by the City of Rochester on February 20th 2004. Health Care Proxy. Power of Attorney. Photograph album from the September 2004 Spiritual Union shared with beloved family and friends. Certificate of Marriage issued by the Town of Dennis, July 30, 2010. Trash can? Recycle bin? Chew and spit out? Shred? Fire? Ice? Any will suffice. In 2010, when we signed our marriage certificate in the Orleans Town Hall, our also legally-married friends

stood by us, the legal newlyweds, to mark the momentous day. In 2013, when I affixed my signature to the Divorce Decree, I stood alone, surrounded by bulging manila folders holding other peoples’ disappointments. A judge agreed that “the marriage has broken down irretrievably.” This I have known for months. Knowing it was going to be The End and seeing the words on a legal document are very different. Pain bolted through my body. Leaden regrets that we had not created a sweet and sparkly Disney fairytale inundated my mind. Then my guts wondered how many steps it takes to go from “adore” to “abhor.” After I watched my ex-wife drive away with her dog, my dog and I walked toward the little red Japanese maple tree, still in winter sleep. I began to think about the year we were spiritually married, the year I had carried that hopeful sprout to our first home. I stared at the long branches, a measurement of nine years of faithfully nurturing our tree through drought and frost. I fell to my knees onto the sunwarmed soil. I bent into my work, used my bare hands to grab chunks of wintermatted maple leaves. Cradled them in my arms. Then gently dropped them onto my compost pile. As my fingers combed away more debris, I uncovered the striated green buds of Jacob’s Ladder. Caressed the firm pointed buds that promised to give their vibrant pink flowers to me. Slowly I stood, the better to survey the beauty all around me. I raised my eyes, looked across my driveway. My mind wandered to last year when a developer bought the wild woodland next to my house. My mind wandered to the day I watched the backhoe snatch the first tree. Carry that victim, roots and all, to a waiting dump truck. Tree by tree until the woods existed only in my memory. Helpless to stop the destruction, the terrible losses, I could only cry. I ago-

23 nized over the irreplaceable splendor of the woods. Sobbed each time I looked at what was not there. Grieved a change I had not wanted. The squawk of the nesting geese brought me back to the present, to the present day in this spring of 2013. I scanned the surface of the freshly dug pond where once upon a time trees flourished. A rippled V trailed behind a mallard. To think I had worried that the denuded land would force all the birds away. I felt a tremendous lightness sweep down my spine. I unclenched my fists, released the toxic shrapnel still in my heart. To think that I could not have imagined the magnificence of a different wonder. Now I can only smile. Laugh each time I look at what is here. Celebrate changes I now can cherish. MeredithReiniger@gmail.com

Inspiritual S is for stalking By Rev. Dr. Sharon Jacobson Most of us when we hear the word stalking, think of someone who is constantly watching us, following or harassing us, making us feel afraid or unsafe. Those of you who know me well enough, know this is not the type of thing I generally blog about and you would be right. You also probably know that I tend to take words that have “negative” connotations to them and looking at them from a completely different perspective. So today, I want to talk about stalking as a healthy and transformative thing we can do for and to ourselves and not others. Toltecs, a group of spiritual warriors, (Columnists continue on page 24)

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013 (Columnists continued from page 23) talk about stalking as “the process of hunting, following, and observing our habits, beliefs and weaknesses for the purpose of transforming them into our strengths. A Warrior will Stalk her own mind to break her obsession with the rational mind, with thinking and with the Tonal.” Warriors fight for freedom from their own social conditioning, selfrejecting, self-neglecting, and otherwise harmful beliefs, thoughts, and wishes for self or others. Stalking allows us to break free of this and the world of reason we have been trained to accept unconditionally. Becoming a stalker, in this healthy sense, involves us gaining control of our thoughts, our actions and ourselves. It requires us to objectively examine the things we normally think, say, and do and create new and different ways of being in the world. In doing so, we are controlling what we think and do and not being controlled by the patterns, which have become a part of our being. Changing these patterns requires discipline. It requires us to be mindful of ourselves and our environment and be intentional about maintaining control over our lives and practicing this on an ongoing basis. We create a discipline of constantly being mindful of our words, thoughts, and ways of being in the world. We learn how to stalk our mind, like a jaguar stalking its prey. As a stalker, we develop new skills and ways of interacting with those who attempt to get on our nerves or with whom we tend to take things personally. As we are able to gain and maintain greater control over our lives, we learn how to create ways of minimizing or eradicating our interactions with those who attempt to zap our energy, or with whom we are still practicing not taking things personally. For example, a friend of mine has a family member whose negativity wears on her. Being a family member, it is hard to totally ignore him, but she has learned to neutralize the situation by going for a walk with him, which energizes her, and provides him with the space to vent. By controlling the environment in which she interacts with him, she finds herself more at peace after spending time with him. It is important that we remember this self-stalking is not a race or a competition. It is part of our spiritual journey and evolution. The pace at which this work is done is about us and our readiness and patience with ourselves. There may be times when we are able to move at a faster pace than others, and there may be times when our ability to move through the process of stalking the prey in our mind requires patience. This journey of stalking is an act of love for ourselves, so it is important that we move through this with unconditional love and respect for our lives and ourselves. Finally, I must remember that it is my determination to remove all the parasites from my life, to liberate myself from the agreements I have been taught I must agree to, and to do whatever I have to do in my life to set myself free. According to Sheri Rosenthal, there are ten steps to stalking: Step 1: Watch ourselves with absolute objectivity, observing how people behave in our presence and how they react to our actions. Step 2: Create an inventory, through journaling, of what we believe about what is happening to us, noting our judgments, opinions, and points of view. Step 3: Examine our emotional reactions and journal what we believe about each of the emotions we have listed. Step 4: Look at everything you have journaled to date, and ask ourselves if our journaled beliefs reflect the truth. Step 5: Acknowledge the truth of what is happening in our lives, and accept responsibility for our half of making it happen. Step 6: Recapitulate our lives by

going back in time and seeing where our beliefs and agreements originated. Step 7: Release all of the expectations we have in life about everything and everyone. Step 8: Forgive and let go. Forgiveness is not about the other person, but about setting ourselves free and letting go of the past and harmful judgments. Step 9: Erase our personal history. This is not to say that events did not happen, but that they no longer have an emotional hold on us and hook in us. Step 10: Become impersonal by totally detaching from the egotistical mind. Stalking, from this perspective, is not about causing anyone to feel unsafe, but about a way of being which leads us to freedom and happiness. It is about hunting the beliefs in our mind, which cloud our vision and removing them so we have greater clarity in life. This is why I am constantly working on my stalking skills and invite you to join me. Rosenthal, S. A. (2005). Complete Idiot’s Guide to Toltec Wisdom. New York: Alpha.

What’s Bothering Brandon? Where Have All the Buffys Gone? By Brandon W. Brooks Having been born during the late 1980s, a majority of my childhood and subsequent early adolescence was spent in the 1990s. Just over twenty years have passed since this glorious antebellum decade began, and now that it is over, I am left with a sense of longing. No, I do not wear flannel, nor have I ever visited Seattle. I long for the 1990s as this was a time of such strong feminist fervor, and even better, media outlets that expressed and celebrated this feminist spirit. From Murphy Brown, Alex Mac and Xena to The Spice Girls and Ani Difranco (she is still quite active today, thank God) many of us were surrounded by pro-female images that insisted that woman can be both feminine and powerful simultaneously, most of all without sacrificing wit, selfworth, integrity, or even sex-appeal. This was also the time when I was first introduced to my favorite superhero of all time; Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For those of you who do not know (for shame), this weekly hit revolved around teenager Buffy Summers, blonde Valley Girl with superstrength and hilariously witty and cutting retorts to match. Buffy’s duty and destiny as “The Chosen One” was to slay the vampires and demons that lurk in the darkness of our world, as well as to study for that biology test which may also be taught by a praying mantis lady-thing. Whatever the high school or college inferno may have been, Buffy was there to foil it, and delivered the message to all of us that it doesn’t take misogyny (or misandry for that matter) to vanquish evil, or date the not-so-evil. So now that we are in 2013, I’d like to know, where have all the Buffys gone? I look around me and I wonder what happened to all of the pro-woman, pro-women’s bodies, femininity-asa-source-of-power messages that were so abundant in decades past. One would think progress only travels in one direction. Sadly, for anyone who opens their eyes and ears to the messages that are now present, this isn’t so. The images of women and young girls that currently prevail in the mainstream media are vastly disappointing, and pale in comparison to those images only a few years old. Apathetic young girls with sour faces languish over to which boy

to devote (or sacrifice) their lives. One surgically altered (a kind way to state it), middle-aged woman argues over which of her friends gossiped about the other, while another throws her martini at her own daughter and grabs a chunk of her bleached extensions. Famous and genuinely talented female music stars date men who have beaten them, and celebrate the fact that they are still together. OK, that last reference wasn’t so vague, but I’m not trying to sugar-coat here. I’m bothered. Many of my friends and colleagues agree that a majority of the images of women and girls out there at the moment are not exactly positive, let alone empowering. I can’t tell you how many times I have dragged myself out of bed, scrubbed my face off, put my face back on, and lugged myself to work only to be greeted by stories of what “real” housewife got into another fight last night. What about the late Margaret Thatcher, who died only last month? I suppose this isn’t as important as Bella’s latest sigh or, brace yourself, expressive frown. What really bothers me about this is that most people can identify that this representation of women and young girls is harmful, especially to growing female minds, yet they play off these negative representations as only “one facet of reality television.” In other words, the fact that many of these negative representations of women come from reality television allows us to distance ourselves from these images, as we are just casual viewers and not participants. We can rationalize the fact that we enjoy these shows about disenfranchised, undereducated, overlyconsuming women because “we know better” than they. We can enjoy the violence of reality television because we, as so-called “casual viewers”, can silently and remotely judge these people. This, in turn, continues the cycle of what Susan J. Douglas refers to as enlightened feminism. Enlightened feminism is the idea that since women are now at a point where they have essentially reached equality with men (yeah right), it is “OK” and even funny for women and girls to revert back to retrograde sexist ideals because “we’ve made it already.” It’s a seductive message that feminism has been fully realized, and that our work is over. It’s a means by which a largely patriarchal media, government and society can delude a youth generation (both males and females) into thinking that they are in control of their own destiny, bodies and sexuality when really they are not. What’s more, enlightened feminism tends to pit baby-boom mothers against their “girl power” daughters, especially over the ideas of obsessive-consumerism and expressed female sexuality. It tells women and girls that they can be whatever they want to be, just so long as they conform to the rigid guidelines of femininity, and don’t want too much. And with most teens and adolescents nowadays being so disconnected from and altogether unaware of their foremothers’ and forefathers’ work (I have bemoaned this in columns past), it is easy to see how enlightened feminism can be a very dangerous thing indeed. Until the specter of enlightened feminism is more directly addressed by us all, you may find me patrolling Mt. Hope Cemetery for vampires and demons, or at least watching re-runs of Buffy on Netflix (thankfully the entire series is there to peruse). And before anyone cites me as hypocritical for doing so (patrolling for vampires isn’t exactly Gentlemanly), I’ll have you know that it takes a real woman to do a job like this. If only I could kill Edward too. Questions, comments or critique? Please feel free to e-mail the author at brandonbrooks@mail.adelphi.edu ■

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of May 2013. 1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music. 2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 3rd Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 4th Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Picnic! Our Potluck theme for Memorial Day Weekend is “Picnic in the Park”. It has been our custom on to find a spot at one of our local parks (usually Genesee Valley). I’ve always enjoyed this event and you’re welcome to join us! We will make sure there’s a fire to cook on, as well as paper goods and beverages. Bring something to grill and a dish to pass. No time to cook? Just ask a friend or two and join us for food and fun! Looking ahead to June, we’ll be having our Annual Garage Sale back up nearer the city this year. If you have been spring cleaning and want to donate anything, contact us through the Hotline. We can help with pick-up if necessary. You can call the Hotline at 585-2345092 or check our website for updates on services and activities.

EMPIRE BEARS Lookin’ for some new friends? Wanna get out of the house more often, but not into hanging out at the bar? Come meet the EMPIRE BEARS any Wednesday night at the Wintonaire at 6 p.m. for supper. We’ll invite you to attend movies, concerts, theater, camping, walking, dinners, and parties. We play cards and board games. We cook and eat well, especially at our monthly potluck at the GAGV on second Saturdays at 6:30. We’re a bunch of gay men who like and support each other. We’d like to like you, too. We’re open to gay men of any age. If you’re looking for a change, give us a chance.

ROMANS ROchester MAle NaturistS (ROMANS) is a social organization of gay naturists who enjoy camaraderie in the nude. Our May meeting will be a clothing optional picnic in the Finger Lakes area. A hot tub is also available at this location. If you are hesitating about being nude, this is the meeting for you. The meeting will be on May 18 from 1-5 p.m. Call for location and more information. We will also be having outdoor picnics in June and July as well as camping during the summer months. Visit the Romans web site where an application for membership and information about the club is available. http://www.wnyromans.com or

E-mail:wnyromans@yahoo.com, call our message line at 585-281-4964 or write ROMANS, PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Rochester Trans Group The next Meeting of the Groups, which is an ongoing semi annual meeting of all Upstate (and beyond) New York trans groups, is on Saturday, May 18. Here is an edited version of the email we got from the Transgender Alliance in Syracuse: On May 18 at 2 p.m. -- Meeting of the Groups III is at 431 East Fayette St. in downtown Syracuse New York. The event is free. We just ask that people let us know if they are hoping or planning to attend as soon as they can so we can figure out how much food we will need and what kind of set up in our ballroom would work best. We will give everyone a tour of our lovely home which is spectacular. All food, snacks, drinks and pizza are being provided by TGA-CNY. All TG persons, their loved ones and their allies are welcome. There is an event set up on this site’s calendar where you can indicate whether you will attend, may attend or can’t attend at http://transgenderalliance. ning.com. There is also a Facebook event where you can also indicate your attendance status at: http://www.facebook.com/events/624819980865913/ . And if you need a ride or can drive please leave a message on our RTG website: www.rnytg.org or on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/RochesterTransGroup. Our next RTG meeting is on Saturday, May 25 at 3 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Hey, it’s finally Spring! Come out and find out you are not alone! Note: we’re still working on the details for this meeting -- keep checking our website for further info on this and SO much more!) We meet in the Gay Alliance’s Community Center located in the Auditorium Theatre, 875 E Main St. on the last Saturday of each month between 3:00 – 5:30 p.m. Parking is available in the back of the theatre off of Prince St. and College Ave. Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and they have instructions to let you in without paying the parking fee. Also if you’re coming by bus get off at the Prince St stop, walk up the sidewalk to the first set of doors (they have the number 875 in large letters over them). Once you’re in the lobby head toward the elevator and just to the right there is a hall, go down that hall and there will be a door with a RTG Meeting sign and just come on in! Our website is: www.rnytg.org or on Facebook at: https://www.facebook. com/RochesterTransGroup.

Us TOO: Prostate cancer support Great, great discussion at our April meeting! Thank you to all who attended, and to Dr. Eichel for educating on the topic of “Robotic Surgery and the Nervesparing Process”. This open forum allowed for much discussion. For many, the presentation allowed a more complete understanding of the surgical process and the nerves that control sexual function in men. Twenty-seven people attended, in addition to Dr. Eichel; 20 men, seven

women. For 11 attendees, this was their first Us TOO meeting. Two of the new attendees indicated they are planning robotic surgery in the near future. Of the 16 who attended prior Us TOO meetings, some had robotic prostate surgery in recent weeks, some are not currently in treatment of any kind, and some have had treatment for metastatic cancer. The meeting started on time at 7 p.m. and ended on time at 9 p.m. Many thanks to Dave Clawson, Augusta Systems, for being available to discuss use of “the pump” as it pertains to the healing process, to Bob Bonn and the folks at JCC for providing coffee service and a comfortable meeting space for Us TOO Rochester NY! NEXT MEETING: Thursday, May 9. Topic: Metastatic Cancer and Oncological Care, by Dr. Chunkit Fung, SMH/URMC. Check our website for details: www. sites.google.com/site/ustoorochesterny

RWCC Reaches Out The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus (RWCC) takes part in many outreach opportunities every year. In fact, part of the organization’s mission statement reads as follows: “The RWCC is dedicated to using music as the vehicle for messages of peace, hope, understanding, and cooperation within the global community.” Each year the RWCC Outreach Committee strives to bring this objective to life. In this regard, we have participated for many years in events such as the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk and various LGBT and Pride gatherings. Our chorus considers this important work and gladly devotes its time and energy to these causes. Many chorus members, as well as their friends and family members, have endured the treatments and traumas of breast cancer. Like many others, we have also lost loved ones to this terrible disease and hope that participation in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk will provide funding and awareness for cancer research, along with support for those dealing with the illness in their daily lives. RWCC is a member of GALA, the Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses. Our chorus consists of many LGBT/ gender-neutral members and allies. We all support the rights of each individual and to show this support, we sang in front of the Federal Building for

25 the Rochester Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) Candlelight Vigil on March 26. We are again glad to support, show up, and show the world our beliefs. In addition, the RWCC performed at the Transgender Day of Remembrance Memorial Service in Palmyra last year. Hearing and reflecting on the lives of people that we have lost to oppression, stigma and violence was extremely powerful and moving. We’ve also walked in the Rochester Pride Parade and participated in the Pride Picnic. Many of our members walk with other organizations, including local churches and employers. Other outreach opportunities have included small groups singing carols at local nursing homes and hospice benefit concerts. A phrase you hear reiterated at RWCC is “I love my chorus.” While this is partially due to the wonderful individuals that we have with us, it is also because of our support of our LGBT loved ones. We are a non-auditioned singing group that performs two concerts each year. The two concert seasons run between September and June. Practices are held each Tuesday night within each season. Come visit us during the first three weeks of the next season (September) and come see us at our upcoming concert. We’ll be performing “Music of the Night” at 7:30 p.m. on June 8 at St. Anne Church, 1600 Mount Hope Ave. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

The Avenue Pub 37 Year Landmark in the Gay Community

The Avenue Pub 522 Monroe Avenue 585-244-4960

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment

Jason Forbach

On the barricades: Jason Forbach rebels in “Les Miserables”

Judy Gold does honest stand up comedy By Susan Jordan Stand up comic and out lesbian Judy Gold will be performing at The Comedy Club in Rochester from May 9 to May 11. She answered some questions recently from The Empty Closet. Empty Closet: You’ve said that you first tried stand up comedy on a dare. How long did it take you to learn the art of how to do stand up – the most effective way to deliver jokes, handle hecklers, etc.? Judy Gold: That is correct. Someone dared me to do stand-up in college, and I was hooked. It takes a minimum of 10 years just to know what you’re doing up there. When I started out in the mid‘80s, I would perform anywhere I could -happy hours, college lunch rooms, street fairs. I’ve done it all, seen it all -- so nothing can throw me off at this point. It is all about stage time and honesty. You can sit and write jokes at a computer all day long, but if you don’t get on stage every night, you will never be a good stand-up comic. EC: Have you ever been heckled by homophobes? JG: As a matter of fact, I was in Chicago a few weeks ago and there was a group of elementary/middle school teachers from Alabama in the audience. As a mother of two children in public school (middle and high) I asked if there were any same-sex parents. One teacher mentioned that she had a child of two women in her class and that they are very nice. When I asked if she thought they would ever be able to get married, she said, “Not in Alabama.” I knew that I had an opportunity to explain why marriage is a civil, human right -- and I did. It might not have been the funniest moment of my set that night, but I had her attention and I felt that it was my obligation as a gay mom. Humor is the most palatable way to get a point across. I have had people come up to me after a show and tell me that they understand now why marriage equality is so important. EC: Do you write your own material? JG: Yes. And my mother writes a lot of it without even knowing it. EC: You’re a stand up comic, writer and producer; is there any aspect of show business that you still want to explore? JG: You forgot actress. I filmed the series finale of Showtime’s “The Big C”.

It was a dramatic part and I really do love serious acting. I’d love to do more of that. EC: What comics and writers of the past have inspired and influenced you the most? JG: There are so many and I know I will forget many, but here you go. Sophie Tucker, Phyllis Diller, Totie Fields, Molly Picon, Lucille Ball, Moms Mabley, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and of course, the incredible Joan Rivers. She continues to be an inspiration to so many female comics. EC: Who makes you laugh today? JG: My kids. They crack me up. And there are a bunch of comics, but I don’t want to forget anyone, so I cannot make a complete list. I am a big fan of Joy Behar, Susie Essman, Lewis Black, Wendy Liebman, Kathleen Madigan, Melissa McCarthy, and so many more. I love Family Guy, South Park - and all other juvenile humor that I can share with my sons. EC: You interviewed over 50 Jewish moms for “25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.” What conclusions have you drawn from that and from your life with your two sons? Any questions still unanswered? JG: There are always unanswered questions. What is life about if you have all the answers? The women I interviewed for 25Q changed my life. I learned that everyone has a story. Everyone -- and it’s never what you think. Someone always has it worse off than you. What’s most important is doing your best and never ever giving up. Life throws a lot of punches. EC: “The Judy Show: My Life as a Sitcom” ran Off-Broadway in 2011 and got good reviews. Any plans for a new show? Do ideas come easily or is writing a struggle? And how hard is it to get a show produced Off-Broadway? JG: Yes, we got great reviews -- I was so thrilled. So many people my age relate to that show because the sitcoms of our youth are such a huge part of who we are. The Judy Show is actually going to The Geffen Theater in LA this June, and I am really excited! And yes, I’m always thinking about the next show. Writing is a long process, and life experience is the key. I feel VERY lucky that I have had two shows produced Off-Broadway. It’s a huge accomplishment, and I am very grateful.

By Susan Jordan Jason Forbach is student rebel Enjolras in “Les Miserables,” which runs May 7-12 at the Auditorium Theatre. Tickets are on sale now at Ticketmaster.com, 800.745.3000 and the Box Office. Prices begin at $37.50. You can spot Jason especially in the barricade scenes. His previous credits include The Phantom Of The Opera. (Raoul u/s) Off Broadway: The Music Teacher, A.W.O.L., As You Like It. Regional: SMC, NSMT, Paper Mill Playhouse, Kennedy Center, Carnegie Hall. Albums: A New Leading Man, Remembering to Dream on iTunes. jasonforbach. com. Twitter: @jtforbach. Jason recently answered some questions from The Empty Closet. He said that he decided on a career in theatre comparatively late in life. “I had just completed my Masters in Opera from New England Conservatory in Boston and had spent a year with Boston Lyric Opera before I finally decided to pursue this life long dream of mine... to pursue theater in New York. It was a scary proposition, starting over from square one, but it was the right choice. I’ve been incredibly happy ever since,” he said. Jason finds creative inspiration in many places. “I find inspiration everywhere, all the time. I was most recently in Paris and couldn’t have found the sentiment to be more true. From an accordion street performer to the grandeur and beauty of Saint Chapelle... inspiration is everywhere. I left a performance of ‘Once’ feeling exalted. I re read ‘The Great Gatsby’ recently and was so taken by the beauty of his prose. Lots of things turn me on. I get goosebumps on my arm. That’s how I know. Ha!” His ideal role? “I would imagine any role that challenges me mentally and physically and transforms me, while fit-

Nathan Lane opens in “The Nance” on Broadway “The Nance,” the Broadway show starring Tony-winner Nathan Lane, opened this week. From the four-star review in the New York Daily News: Set in 1937 New York, the action follows Chauncey Miles (Lane), a performer with a niche role in a ragtag theater company. Chauncy plays the nance — a stock character who was a flamingly effeminate homosexual. “I like to play with the organ,” quips Chauncey. “I love, love, love when the organ swells? Oh, you brutes.” It was fine to swish and dish on stage, but it wasn’t OK to be gay offstage. A kiss between two men could get them pummeled by police and tossed in the clink. All the more so, thanks to Mayor LaGuardia’s morals crackdown in advance of the

ting like a glove at the same time. In a way, Enjolras is exactly like that for me. A challenge, and yet, it feels as if I was meant to play this part.” What keeps him going when things get tough? “I have to re-center in silence. I think we are always over-stimulated and I find it to be even more true on the road. We are always in hotels and airports and always around one another. Sometimes it is good to escape. Any kind of meditation brings me back to an appreciative space when I’m ready to lose my cool.” As a musician, he is constantly listening to something new. “I’m really into Ed Sheeran’s album + right now. I love the band Raised By Swans, Gregory Porter, One Republic, Melody Gardot. Those artists get a lot of repetitive play nowadays. I just saw Pink in concert and she blew my mind.” What should Rochester audiences know about this production of “Les Mis”? Jason said, “This production is unlike any other they’ve ever seen before. It’s tougher, grittier, more powerful than ever before. The famous turntable is gone and it is completely re-conceived and re-directed with beautiful projections inspired by Victor Hugo’s artwork. It’s an incredibly powerful production. It’s more modern. A ‘Les Mis’ for this generation. Even if you are a fan of the film, there will be new things to see and discover. Nothing compares to seeing these stories lived out live before you. The emotion seems that much more palpable and real!” Jason added that he has a few albums released: “A New Leading Man” and “Remembering To Dream” are available online and on iTunes. “I also have a new single ‘Revolutionary,’ the title taking inspiration from my life as a revolutionary in ‘Les Mis,’ that will be released soon. People can follow me on twitter @ jtforbach.” Show Schedule: Tues./Wed./Thurs. 7:30pm; Fri. - 8pm; Sat. - 2pm & 8pm; Sun. - 1pm & 6:30pm.

World’s Fair. The action moves from burlesque theater where bawdy acts play out, complete with a tatty orchestra, to Chauncey’s Village apartment to a downtown automat where Chauncey trolls for assignations. John Lee Beatty’s evocative set spins its way to each location. Lane has won Tonys for musical star turns in “The Producers” and “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.” Under Jack O’Brien’s assured direction, he’s funny, sad and touching as the conflicted Chauncey. Speaking to The Slant, playwright Douglas Carter Beane cited the “holy trinity” of television’s nance performers: Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde, and Alan Sues. Beane then provided some Depression-era theater history on nance characters. In the early part of the 1930s there was something called the “Pansy Craze,” and

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013 Marty Thomas (Mr. Xanadu 2008), Anthony Hollock (Mr. Hair 2009), Charlie Williams (Mr. Memphis 2010), Michael Cusumano (Mr. Chicago 2011), and Andrew Chapelle (Mr. Mamma Mia! 2012). The Broadway Beauty Pageant will be directed by Seth Sikes and choreographed by Paul McGill. The evening was conceived by Jeffrey Self and will be produced by the Ali Forney Center in association with Ryan Davis.

“8” is a real-life courtroom drama

Nathan Lane stars in “The Nance”.

every nightclub, burlesque, vaudeville, and Broadway house had these gay characters. There was an explosion of this particular type of comedy and it was hugely popular. And then by the late 1930s there was a backlash. There was a new mayor of New York and a new administration: Fiorello LaGuardia was probably the best mayor the city ever had, but he was very Catholic and very uptight. He couldn’t stand burlesque. He thought it was cheap and vulgar and so he hired a man named Paul Moss as the commissioner of licenses. You couldn’t perform in New York without having a license first, and Moss basically took it upon himself to shut down burlesque, not only for women stripping, but also for “deviance on stage.” That meant any portrayal of a gay person in a play. You couldn’t make a reference to a gay character even in a Broadway show. You’ll find quite a few references to modern day politics in The Nance, particularly in Lane’s gay Republican title character and in the closeted Ken Mehlman-like license commissioner determined to keep gays off the stage. And if you like the rimshot groaners that were the stock of burlesque -- those are nonstop. I’ll give you just one. Dressed in a drag as an aging hooker, Lane says, “He said to me, ‘Hortense, you are nothing but a two-bit hooker.’ So I hit him with my bag of quarters.” Bah-dum-dum. Highly recommended. -JoeMyGod.com

Broadway Beauty Pageant benefits Forney Center for youth It was announced April 10 that fourtime Tony Award nominated and Drama Desk Award-winning actress Tovah Feldshuh will return to host the seventh annual Broadway Beauty Pageant. Celebrity judges have also been announced. Andrea Martin (“Pippin”), Billy Porter (“Kinky Boots”), and Michael Urie (“Buyer and Cellar”) have been tapped to judge the event, which will take place on May 20 at 8 p.m., at the NYU Skirball Center for the Performing Arts (566 LaGuardia Place). Lisa Lambert, the Tony Award-winning lyricist of The Drowsy Chaperone, will write the opening number. The popular event is the annual benefit for New York’s Ali Forney Center, the shelter for homeless LGBT youth. The Broadway Beauty Pageant will feature male cast members representing their respective Broadway shows, competing for the title crown through talent, interview and swimsuit competitions. The contestants will go head to head in front of a panel of celebrity judges, but ultimately, the final vote is in the hands of the audience members. This year’s contestants will be announced shortly. Past Pageant winners include Frankie James Grande (Mr. Mamma Mia! 2007),

By Darren W. Plunkett The Bread and Water Theatre’s production of “8” by Dustin Lance Black was performed the weekend of April 5-7 at the New Life Presbyterian Church. This show is an historical recounting of the landmark federal trial of California’s Proposition 8, which repealed legal same sex marriage in that state. It is currently under review by the Supreme Court, making this production very topical. Dustin Lance Black is a gay rights advocate and Academy-award winning screenwriter with credits to his name such as “Milk” and “J. Edgar.” Black adapts this real-life court drama to the stage chronicling both sides of California’s Proposition 8, Perry vs. Schwarzenegger. As the judge disallowed cameras in the courtroom, Black adapted the words from the courtroom transcripts to show the public what transpired behind closed doors. The opening of the play shocked the audience as they listened to an advertisement by the campaign in favor of Proposition 8. The advertisement claimed its supporters were beaten and property destroyed. Spencer and Elliott Perry, the children of Sandy Stiers and Kris Perry, open the performance with a youthful viewpoint. Their concern is not whether or not their mothers were married, but rather if they would make it out of court before sports practice. With obvious emotion and understanding, Stacey Jones and Kristy Funderburk (Sandy Stiers, Kris Perry) gave excellent representations of their characters. Tommy Mastrangelo and Michael Celso (Paul Katami , Jeff Zarillo) revealed their characters’ desire to be able to call each other husband. “Husband is so definitive,” Celso says as Zarillo. The presentation was intermingled with Pro Proposition 8 advertisements that exposed a decidedly negative side of the anti-gay campaign. Unfortunately, the performance contained a number of drawbacks. One could only wonder how long the script had been in hand, as the actors were reading from it while performing. Additionally, a single folding chair was the only set utilized on stage, while the actors playing multiple roles could barely be differentiated as there were no costume changes. Bread and Water Theatre’s performance of “8” was not meant to be a professional presentation, but intended to enlighten the public, much like performances of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues”. Bread and Water Theatre is a local group committed to making the arts affordable and accessible to a broad-based community. Bread & Water’s annual Rainbow Theatre Festival presents “No Word in Guyanese For Me” through May 5 and “The Fat Boy” May 10-19. See breadandwatertheatre.org for tickets and more information.

JCC seeks partners for 2014 “Normal Heart” The May show at The Gallery @ Equal=Grounds is “My journey of life through my art: a collection of work from my soul,” mixed media work by Jessica Bell. Artist Statement: “My art work evolves from the pages of my journal: personal and complex. A way of transfiguration and reflection on my past, present, and future.”

JCC CenterStage is asking for social and financial partners to join the team producing Larry Kramer’s “The Normal Heart” in March 2014. The production will be part of 2014 LGBT Health Month. The Jewish Com-

munity Center is located at 1200 Edgewood Ave. JCC would like partners to help expand awareness and also to participate in panel discussions to follow the performances. For details contact Artistic Director Ralph Meranto at 585-461-2000 ext 1236 or email meranto@jccrochester.org. First published in 1985 and revived on Broadway in 2011, Kramer’s play exposes public and private indifference to AIDS and one man’s lonely fight to awaken the world to the epidemic. It is a cautionary tale about the consequences of fear and ignorance.

Fierstein’s “Kinky Boots” is a Broadway hit By Brandon Voss, posted on GayNet, 4.22.2013 Based on the 2005 movie about a drag queen named Lola who saves a shoe factory, “Kinky Boots” is now a hit Broadway musical written by Harvey Fierstein, with songs by Cyndi Lauper. The sexual orientation of Lola — played by out actor Billy Porter — may be up for debate, but it’s obviously one of the gayest shows on Broadway. It’s so gay, in fact, that Ricky Martin recently materialized backstage out of thin air. “Great dose of Broadway last night,” the former Evita star tweeted, along with this photo of his handsome self bookended by Billy Porter and cutie costar Stark Sands. “’Kinky Boots’ amazing talent! Congrats to the whole company! #WeLoveLola.”

Musical Feet: Celebrating National Tap Dance Day The Hochstein School of Music & Dance is pleased to commemorate National Tap Dance Day on May 18 with a series of workshops and a public performance dubbed, “Musical Feet: Tap as an American Art Form.” A (very) Brief History of Tap Dancing Tap dancing as we see it today developed from more than a century of evolution. With roots in English clogging, Irish step dancing and West African dance and music it was an early fixture in minstrel shows, and later very popular in vaudeville. The popularity of traditional tap dance faded with the end of vaudeville in the 1930’s, as it moved to the silver screen, where people like Fred Astaire helped to optimize tap choreography for films. Later, Paul Draper combined tap and ballet emphasizing physical expression while African Americans in jazz clubs created the hoofer’s style stressing rhythm and musicality. Tap dance popularity declined in the 1960s, experienced a renaissance in the 1970s and continues today in musical theater, concert dance companies, international arts festivals and jazz clubs. Tap dance giants through the ages include Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson, Gene Kelly, Sammy Davis Jr., Eleanor Powell, the Nicholas brothers, Gregory Hines and Savion Glover. About National Tap Dance Day National Tap Dance Day falls on May 25 every year (although due to scheduling Hochstein will celebrate a week early) and is a celebration of tap dancing as an American art form. The idea of National Tap Dance Day was first presented to U.S. Congress on February 7, 1989 and was signed into American law by President George H.W. Bush on November 8,

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet 1989. Tap Dance Day is also celebrated in other countries, particularly Japan, Australia, India and Iceland. National Tap Dance Day was the brainchild of Carol Vaughn, Nicola Daval, and Linda Christensen. They deemed May 25 appropriate for this holiday because it is the birthday of Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, one of the greatest tap dancers of all time. About Hochstein’s Programming 10-11:30-“Doin’ the New Low Down”: This workshop, taught by nationally-known Tap Dancer, Choreographer, and Hochstein faculty member Cheryl Johnson is open to intermediate level tap dancers ages 10-adult. “Doin’ the New Low Down” is one of Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson’s signature dances. This is a study in classic rhythm tap dance. Fees: $15 ($10 for Hochstein Students) Includes Musical Feet Performance. 11:45-12:45-“Shim Sham” Workshop: This workshop is open to all levels of tap and swing dancers ages 10-adult. The “Shim Sham” is the tap dancer’s anthem and is shared by both tap dancers and swing dancers worldwide. Fees: $10 ($5 for Hochstein Students). Includes Musical Feet Performance. Pre-register for both workshops by calling Hochstein at 585-454-4596. 1:30-2:15-“Musical Feet: Tap as an American Art Form”: This Lecture/

Demonstration traces the evolution of a uniquely American art form with references to multicultural dance forms and American popular music. Highlights include performances of Irish Jig, Spanish Dance, African Drumming, vaudeville, the Jazz Age, MGM musicals, the Harlem Renaissance, and much more. The dance and live music performers include faculty and students at Hochstein School of Music & Dance. The Lecture/ Demonstration is free. Calendar: Hochstein School of Music & Dance Celebrates National Tap Dance Day Saturday, May 18: 10-11:30-“Doin’ the New Low Down”: Workshop taught by nationally-known Tap Dancer, Cheryl Johnson, for intermediate level tap dancers ages 10-adult. Fees: $15 ($10 for Hochstein Students) 11:45-12:45-“Shim Sham” Workshop: This workshop is open to all levels of tap and swing dancers ages 10-adult. Fees: $10 ($5 for Hochstein Students) Pre-register for both workshops by calling Hochstein at 585-454-4596. 1:30-2:15-“Musical Feet: Tap as an American Art Form”: This Lecture/ Demonstration traces the evolution of a uniquely American art form with references to multicultural dance forms and American popular music. Free and open to the public. ■

Restaurant Review

John’s Tex Mex By Darren W. Plunkett A quaint storefront rests just a minute off the expressway on South Ave. in the South Wedge, with more to it than meets the eye. Now in its seventh year, John’s Tex Mex Restaurant looks like the type of restaurant one would discover in a little Mexican town. There are no fancy signs or elegant billboards. The idea is simple. “We make stuff that we like,” says John Roth, owner. What it lacks in an overdone exterior, it gains in atmosphere and comfort. With seating for about 25 inside, John’s is often teeming with people waiting for an appetizing meal. Fortunately, they have an outdoor seating area, opening as weather permits with five additional tables. The interior is clean and well decorated for the Tex-Mex experience. The service is impeccable. A simple menu contains the basics of Mexican dining. Tacos, burritos and quesadillas are the mainstay. John’s welcomes vegetarians as nearly every meal can be made with tofu or un-beef. “Vegetarians are a large demographic of the area,” Roth

explains. The drinks menu is one of a kind. John’s carries a variety of soft drinks that few restaurants have, including cream sodas, birch beer and root beers. Their Coke is imported from Mexico as it is made with actual sugar rather than the syrups in American Coke. The beer menu is even more select, featuring 20 beers from which to choose. Ask a server for their current offering. John’s uses the freshest ingredients receiving deliveries six times per week. “We try to keep (our food) both fresh and reasonably priced,” says Roth. Although John’s is not traditional or authentic Mexican, John has taken the best of what he and wife Jeana like and he has given it a personal spin. John’s Tex Mex is the perfect place on the way to a show or if one is looking for a great Mexican meal; even the heartiest of appetites will be satisfied. Making the restaurant feel even more comfortable, John and Jeana Roth are proud supporters of the GAGV. “The organization is great,” John remarks. They value everyone in the community they serve and look forward to being part of the community for many years to come. ■

Travel Maryland’s Talbot County By Merle Exit Talbot County, Maryland has special towns, each with their own ambiance and things to do. With Oxford, St. Michaels, and Tilgman Island, the county seat is located in Easton, the heart of the county and our first destination. Traveling into Maryland, it was getting a bit past lunchtime. We found a place called Oxford Greens Homestore and Market Restaurant. From the outside you would never tell that the decor has lots of antiques. A chicken salad sandwich and tiramisu were just fine. Harrison Street is one of the main strips of Easton. Just outside the Visitors Center office sat a bus, owned by a Blue Grass group called The Grascals. We would later be attending the show at the Avalon Theatre, a venue that houses the heart of entertainment, located on Dover Street, just kitty-corner from The Tidewater Inn, where we would be staying overnight. Central location and comfy rooms! On the first Saturday of the month, Easton does an Art Walk. Easton is known for having lots of art galleries as well as the Academy Art Museum on South Street. We took some of the walk, spending some time at Troika Gallery, just next door to the visitor center. Two of the three owners were present, Laura Era and Jennifer Heyd, each having their own style of art work. Most intriguing was a piece of art that Laura was commissioned to paint involving Anna Ella Carroll. It appears that Anna Ella Carroll was much a part of the Abe Lincoln/ Civil War era without getting her due credit in a painting and now she has. Dinner was at the Bartlett Pear Inn. Jordan and Alice Lloyd are the owners with Jordan as the Executive Chef. I would characterize it as “local finest dining cuisine”. Jordan not only makes it a point to use local foods, you can just see the amount of work done to complete each dish, even beyond the art work itself. There is a limited menu that changes every day. With a name like Barlett Pear, I had to have a pear drink. It was a pear liqueur mixed with a pear puree. Boy, do they make a great pear! The bread is made in the kitchen, the butter comes from a local creamery called Nice Farms Creamery. Best butter I’ve had in years! Next door to Barlett Pear is Mason’s, where we had lunch. Indoor and outdoor seating were perfect on a gorgeous day. Rise Up Roasters buys organic beans and roasts them for some great coffee. They set up kiosks around the area or you can go to their main place on Dover St. We later ventured to Chapel’s Country Creamery, where we got a demo of cutting the curd for some most delicious raw milk cheeses. Cows were out, babies each had their own indoor/outdoor space. I was able to pet a newborn. Holly and Eric Foster run the farm, along with their offspring. One favorite was the cream top yogurt with local honey. FYI, same-sex marriage is legal in Maryland.

Academy Art Museum, Easton, Md.

The Big Apple: a travel guide By Darren W. Plunkett The Big Apple. The City that Never Sleeps. The Fashion Capital of the World. The Empire City. No matter what nickname is bestowed, New York City endures as a favorite tourist destination for tens of millions each year. Fortunately, Monroe County lies only a short distance from this thriving metropolis bustling with shopping, sightseeing, arts and theatre. Finally, The Nation’s Greatest City avails itself for the budget conscious. Traveling to New York is a choice of what one enjoys. Whether it is driving, plane, or train, the cost is minimal. Airfare prices start at around $118/per person round trip or as low as $90/per person via Amtrak. Half of the fun of any vacation is the journey. The cost of accommodations is still the biggest challenge to conquer in The City of Towers. Luckily, new avenues have arisen in the last 10 years. Many investors own homes or apartments in all areas of the city, allowing rentals by the day, week or even month. One can rent an entire two-bedroom apartment for half of what a hotel charges. The Internet connects owners with potential renters on sites such as vrbo.com. With an apartment, many choose to cook a meal or two per day. This greatly decreases the budgeted dining cost. Having shaved the primary expenses, entertainment prices are the next obstacle. Depending on tastes, there are so many adventures to have. A huge draw to Manhattan is Broadway. (See previous pages for “The Nance,” “Broadway Beauty Pageant” and “Kinky Boots.”) Ticket prices have skyrocketed due to the enormous budgets of shows produced by large corporations. It is not necessary to pay these high prices. An important note for Broadway fans on a budget is that all seats in NY theatres are excellent. One should always check for the least priced tickets. If unable to acquire tickets for the exact show desired, find another with deep discounts. It will be a great performance (it’s on Broadway!) and it may surpass the original choice. An excellent resource for the best theatre deals is BroadwayBox.com. Certain tourist spots are overpriced, while others retain great value. A 60-minute boat tour, viewing the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Governor’s Island and many more sites, can be obtained for as low as $19 per person. The reservation cost for the 9/11 Memorial is $2. Window-shopping at Sak’s 5th Avenue and Macy’s is free as are Rockefeller Center, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Times Square and Central Park. A well-researched excursion can be mutually enjoyable and economical. If you’ve never vacationed in NYC, try a weekend. A lifetime of memories awaits. ■

Gay alliance news for may 2013

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

Ove Overmyer

Volunteer of the Month: Ove Overmyer Rochester resident and longtime activist Ove Overmyer is not your typical agent of social change. As primarily a public librarian and President for the Civil Service Employees Association (CSEA) City of Rochester Library Workers Unit 7420 and the Monroe County Local 828 Vice President, Ove wears many hats every day. Everything he does expresses his passion and desire to help create a bet-

Youth Gay Alliance Youth Program The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges! It provides a safe space to explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun! Wed./Thurs.: 3:30-7:30pm Fridays: 7-9pm

ter world for those most marginalized by oppression and inequality. Ove is very well known in library and political circles, chairing his union’s political action efforts and serving as a sector leader for the local Monroe County Democratic Committee. Ove was responsible for crafting and presenting draft resolutions to CSEA and MCDC supporting Marriage Equality and the Dignity For All Students Act, both which passed back in 2009. As a library leader, Ove leads the charge every year to make sure local libraries get the funding they deserve. Since 2000, he has also been a staff reporter and photographer for The Empty Closet. Ove specializes in political journalism and analysis for the EC. His interviews, columns and reporting have helped the LGBT community understand issues and social policy that shape our lives and the people who are – or want to be -- our elected representatives. Ove’s freelance work has also been published in some of the most well respected media outlets, most recently with PBS’ Bill Moyers & Company. In 2004, Ove was instrumental in resurrecting the Gay Alliance Library and Archives Project with Todd Plank and Gerry Szymanski. Over the years, Ove has done countless assignments for the Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau, visiting local schools and business settings with the hope of changing hearts and minds about the issues of poverty, fairness and equality. Ove is also becoming well known as a local videographer, telling stories that document the lives of so many people who call Rochester home. He will also tell you the most important thing in his life is his three kids and his close knit blended family. The Alliance thanks Ove for all his volunteer work and the many contributions he has made to our community!

Youth tour FLCC, U.R. campuses in April By Kelly Clark Gay Alliance Youth took advantage of Spring Break this year to take not one but two college tour field trips! Our first Queer College tour destination was Finger Lakes Community College in Canandaigua. We were greeted with one of the most professional admissions presentations ever! The students

Gay Alliance Trainings, Tablings and Speaking Engagements for April 2013 4/2......... Sharing Our Stories at the Gay Alliance 4/3......... SafeZone Training at Nazareth College Social Work Class 4/3......... SafeZone Training at Nazareth College Social Work Class 4/5......... LGBQTI Resource Fair at University of Rochester 4/7......... Sharing Our Stories at the Gay Alliance 4/13........ Homophobia and Violence at the NELGBT Conference, RIT 4/14........ Beyond Binaries Panel at the NELGBT Conference 4/16........ LGBT Issues in Healthcare at the UofR for the Med School Students 4/22....... Who’s Who Panel at St. John Fisher College Comments of the month “Worth every minute. Excellent combo of activities, well-timed breaks, extremely relevant and interesting material. Just very well done, all in all. Excellent.” “Enlightening, empowering and entertaining. The presenters’ command of the subject is truly evident. I felt in the hands of experts. The humor and positive relationship between the two was a treat.” “Informative, thought provoking, very educational. You can see the wealth of knowledge and passion in both presenters.”

were surprised to find so many interesting things to study, from video game production, to nursing, to vitiology or the science of making wine! Three great student volunteers took us on tours of the campus. They were professional, knowledgeable, and enthusiastic supporters of their school. Some of us took a special tour of the Nursing department. We saw classrooms that looked like hospital rooms where nursing students develop their skills. Some of us took a special tour of the Music Recording Technology program. There we saw the recording students where students learn to record, edit and mix music and voice tracks to make a CD. Did you know that the music recording program attracts students from around the country? Our next Queer Career tour destination was the University of Rochester Medical Center, or more specifically The School of Medicine. This tour was the culmination of our month long workshop series on Health Care Careers. We began our with a visit to Sim Man, a $70,000 simulation dummy that is used for everything from training of medical students to refresher training for ER docs and nurses. We learned you could practice lots of skills using Sim Man. Students had fun feeling for his pulse, listening for his heartbeat, and intubating him. Our last stop on the tour was in the plaster-casting lab. We all learned the

difference between a plaster splint and a more permanent fiberglass cast. Then we had fun as we learned how to do a plaster cast and practiced casting each other’s “broken” arms! We are super grateful to our Youth Program volunteer, Adrianne Chesser, who is a MD/PhD student at URMC, for setting up this awesome tour and to the staff at the University who took the time to help us learn even more about careers in medicine! ■

D GAR

The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD)

The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at: www.GayAlliance.org

Coming Out/Being Out Support Group Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm (13-18 yrs old) Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 6:30-7:30pm (13-18 yrs old)

Show a Rider your love

Gay Alliance Community Center Auditorium Theater Bldg, 875 E. Main Street, 1st Floor Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: 585 244-8640 Check out our weekly programs descriptions and special events: www.gayalliance.org/events/youth

4 of the Genesee Valley

Empowering pride for 40 years

GAGV youth learned about healthcare career options at URMC with Sim Man.

The Gay Alliance Library & Archives Hours: Every Wednesday: 6-8pm Mondays & Tuesdays: 1-3pm 875 E. Main Street, First Floor 585-244-8640

Ride For Pride 4 is just a month away! All of our riders must bring in a minimum total donation of $100. Please take a look at our fabulous bikers, who will be riding a hilly 50-mile route in June in order to raise money for the Gay Alliance. You can check out all our riders at: http://www.gayalliance.org/ events/rideforpride.html Just click on the name of a rider and show some LOVE! XOXO.

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Web: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Board Co-Presidents: Emily Jones, Bruce Gorman Acting Executive Director: Scott Fearing Business Manager: Joanne Giuffrida Director of Intergenerational Programs: Kelly Clark Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for may 2013

SAGE PAGE Lilacs in Full Bloom

If you’re From Rochester then most likely the month of May means LILACS! The Lilac Festival has been a multi-day festival at Highland Park since the late 1970s, but people have been coming to Highland Park to look at the lilacs since 1898. This year the festival runs May 10-19. Who is ready for the first meet-up of the year? RAINBOW SAGE! We will plan to meet at the center (875 East Main St.) at 12 noon on Tuesday the 14th, then depart for Highland Park. Bring a lunch or bring spending money to purchase from their vendors and we can find somewhere to sit and enjoy the music of several community bands that will be performing throughout the day. Any questions? Please ask Ashley by emailing ashleyp@gayalliance.org or asking while in the center any Tuesday leading up to this event.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Do you have a green thumb? Well it is great if you do and fine if you don’t. Tuesday, May 21 we will be planting flowers in pots you can decorate and take home with you. Come to The Center and socialize with friends all while putting your talent to work and planting flowers that will bloom into beautiful flowers sure to make you “think Spring!”

Join us on Mondays!

Our winter consolidation is over and the doors are re-opening on Mondays, in addition to Tuesdays! Seeing all of you one day a week just isn’t enough, so please check out the calendar and join us for programming on both days!

Open Arms MCC “Summer Appetizers”

Hosting at all this summer? Then you won’t want to miss out on May 28 as Open Arms hosts “Summer Appetizers!” Come sample and learn how to make some tasty treats to serve up at your next gathering, pool party, or just to give into summer time food cravings! Demonstration begins at 1 p.m.

Tom Somerville

Aches & Pains Slowing You Down? Try our new Yoga Class!

Local yoga instructor Thomas Somerville has agreed to offer a weekly class for Rainbow SAGE during the month of May. Thomas’ yoga experience started after a profound spinal cord injury, six hours of spinal reconstructive surgery and a poor prognosis for ever walking again. In physical therapy at Strong Hospital, he recognized some of the exercises they taught him as being yoga. After a year in a wheelchair, Thomas used yoga to rehabilitate himself the rest of the way and set a long term goal of not only walking again but of teaching yoga. Today, Thomas walks with a slight limp and has been teaching yoga for eight years. He is certified in Yogafit Levels 1-5, Senior/Disabled, Pre/Postnatal, Yoga for Kids and Yoga Alliance Registered at the 200 hour level. He is close to com-

Rainbow SAGE at The Center

May Calendar

The Center is open for adults 50+ Mondays and Tuesdays 11:30am-3pm. Hot lunch $3. Internet access, billiards. Library open 1-3pm. April April April April April April April April

6: 7:

Movie on the Big Screen.............................................1pm Yoga Class................................................................ 11am Flower Planting...........................................................1pm 13: Game Day in The Center.............................................1pm 14: Yoga Class................................................................ 11am Lilac Festival Meet Up at The Center..........................12pm 20: Dryden Theater Meet Up Bringing up Baby (1938) 102 min 21: Yoga Class................................................................ 11am Prostate Cancer - Patrick Fisher....................................1pm 27: CLOSED for Memorial Day 28: Yoga Class................................................................ 11am OACC “Summer Appetizers”.......................................1pm Puzzle drawing

pleting his 500-hour requirements and will continue working toward the new, 650 hour Yoga Therapist certification which he will start this summer. Thomas’ classes are the biggest draw wherever he teaches. Coming from a place of injury, Thomas teaches using a different style, which is more medical in focus. He pays great attention to safety, good form and health. Instead of teaching in Sanskrit, he uses medical terms for the muscles of the body and explains why/how each pose works. Thomas has made it to the top three finalists in City Newspaper’s The Best of Rochester, every years for the past four or five years. Our May yoga class will meet each week on Tuesday from 11-11:30 a.m. in the Gay Alliance Community Center. Class can be done on the floor (bring your own yoga mat) or seated in a chair. Students are invited to stay for Rainbow SAGE at The Center programming which begins at 11:30. The cost is $3 per class. Please RSVP for class (585) 244-8640 ext 31.

Estate Planning for Non– Traditional Couples

Rochester Elder Law Fair, on May 7 at the Museum and Science Center, from 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m., will include a workshop on Estate Planning for Non–Traditional Couples, from 9-11 a.m. It will be led by Marcus Kroll Esq. and Miles Zatkowsky Esq. The workshop will cover estate planning for second marriages and blended families, and LGBT rights and planning. To register, call 877926-8300 or go to http://aarp.cevent.com/ElderLawRoc. The event is free but space is limited!

Prostate Cancer In Men Is The Most Common Cancer Across Nys New Cases May Be On The Rise. Facts:

In the U.S. approximately 2,496,784 men are living with prostate cancer [NCI, 2012]. A man is 35 percent more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than a woman is to be diagnosed with breast cancer. [Prostate Cancer Foundation, 2013] In NYS alone >18,756 men have died from prostate cancer since the year 2000. [NYS Cancer Registry, 2009] U.S. military service men have higher rates of prostate cancer than civilians. [Army Times, 2010] As men of the ‘baby-boomer’ generation become Senior Citizens new cases are expected to rise. Readers may remember Patrick Fisher from his dedication to the LGBT and HIV/AIDS communities over the past 20 years, and his outreach efforts at churches, college

campuses and community health fairs on behalf of the HIV vaccine trials. Patrick retired from the University of Rochester Medical Center in 2011 following a diagnosis of prostate cancer and subsequent surgery. What Patrick found after his bout with cancer was that there was no support. There was not one support group for men living with or recovering from prostate cancer in the Rochester area. Given Patrick’s reputation as a fierce health advocate, it is not surprising that he is now the Leader & Program Manager of the new local chapter of Us TOO International. In less than five months, and after only five meetings, Patrick’s effort has grown Us TOO Rochester NY from being just an idea shared by two cancer survivors, to a group of over 75 members. He developed a website that identifies meetings and speaker topics and engages urology or cancer specialists to conduct informational presentations at each meeting. No one knows the exact cause of prostate cancer. We do know that age is the strongest risk factor. As the baby-boomer generation ages, the numbers of new cases are expected to rise. Family history is another strong risk factor. Risk of prostate cancer is higher than average if your brother or father had the disease. Us TOO Rochester, NY and Patrick work to ensure that men and women of any sexual orientation and gender identity are welcome and have the opportunity to learn about the risks and benefits involved with prostate cancer testing, treatment, and research. Spouses and partners are also welcome. Monthly meetings are held on the second Thursday of each month, 7-9 p.m. at The Jewish Community Center, 1200 Edgewood Ave. Additionally, Patrick will share about his journey with prostate cancer at Rainbow SAGE at The Center on Tuesday May 21, at 1 p.m. For more information about US TOO, visit the website at:www.sites. google.com/site/ustoorochesterny , call Patrick Fisher at (585) 7874011 or send email to: ustoorochesterny@gmail.com ■

May Puzzle

1.) What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? 2.) What goes up and down the stairs without moving? 3.) What can you catch but not throw? 4.) I can run but not walk. Wherever I go, thought follows close behind. What am I? Name: Drop off in Center by 5/28/13 to enter for your chance to WIN!

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar). Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Senior Center Tues 11am-3pm, 875 E. Main St. first floor, 244-8640; kellyc@ gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: Third Sunday of the month, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 14624. 1-3pm. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27. Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529. Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance. Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

AIDS Care AIDS Care is the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. AIDS Care satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community. Contact Information: Website: www.acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-4545556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay. Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520. MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400. Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 9625063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care. Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon. 315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies. CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

TRANSGENDER

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7:30pm, Gay Alliance Community Center, 875 E. Main St. first floor. Ages 13-18. 244-8640; kellyc@gayalliance.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Transgender online: Transenough.com; www.endtransdiscrimination.org; genderfork.com; www.transgendercare.com; International Foundation for Gender Education Gender Education and Advocacy http://www.gender.org/; FTM Information Network http://www.ftminfo.net/; Transgender at Work http://www.tgender.net; PFLAG Transgender Network http://community.pflag.org/ page.aspx?pid=380; TransActive http://www. transactiveonline.org; The Transitional Male http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/; National Center for Transgender Equality http://transequality.org/; New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy http://www.nyagra.com/; Transgender Aging Network http://forge-forward.org/aging/; Transgender Law Center http://transgenderlawcenter.org; Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund http://transgenderlegal.org/; The Self Made Men http:// theselfmademen.webs.com/ (please send us your favorite sites/groups) Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women’s health

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs, support services free. Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. GAGV Anti Violence Referrals 585-244-8640 ext 19. For women and men. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Monday

L.O.R.A. – Late Bloomers Group Meets Weekly on Mondays 7pm – 9:30pm. Coming out group for women of all ages and backgrounds. Meets weekly on Mondays at 7pm at private location!.Group Facilitators: Cathie Timian & Wanda Martinez. For more information and meeting location contact Cathie at ctimian@l-o-r-a-.com or call 585.313.3037 For more information on L.O.R.A. (Lesbians of Rochester & Allies) visit: www.l-o-r-a.com

Gay Alliance Library & Archives David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Monday 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group, Mondays, 7pm, 140 Alex Bar. To reserve space: 467-6456; bdaniels@frontiernet.net. Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds. 426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Tuesday

L.O.R.A. – Knitters Group Everyone Welcome! 3rd Tuesday of the Month. 7pm – 10pm. FREE. Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. Contact Person: Cathie: 585.313.3037; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a. com; Website: www.l-o-r-a.com

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Tuesday. 1-3pm; First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org. Rainbow SAGE Senior Center, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor. MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday L.O.R.A. – Poker, Cards & Gaymes! 3rd Wednesday of the Month, 7pm – Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Rochester. Everyone is welcome! Bring a friend and your own snacks/munchies. Coffee, Tea & Hot Chocolate provided. For more information, contact Cathie at ctimian@l-o-r-a.com or call 585.313.3037 - For more information on L.O.R.A. (Lesbians of Rochester & Allies) visit: www.l-o-r-a.com

U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com

Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave. Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 BrightonHenrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552. Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com. Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Wednesdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursday

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Gay Alliance Youth Thursdays, 3:30-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Coming Out Being Out Youth Support Group 6:30-7:30pm; ages 13-18 Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Thursdays, 6:30-7pm, Ages 13-18, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13.

Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com

FRIDAY

L.O.R.A. – Foodies Group Potluck 2nd Friday of the Month, 6:30pm – Open Arms MCC – 740 Marshall Rd. Rochester. Bring a friend and a dish to pass! Coffee, Tea & Hot Chocolate provided! For more information, contact Cathie at ctimian@l-o-r-a.com or call 585.313.3037 For more information on L.O.R.A. (Lesbians of Rochester & Allies) visit: www.l-o-r-a.com

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

SATURDAY

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org. Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, Youth Center, 875 E. Main, 1st floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sunday

L.O.R.A. GLBT Sunday Brunch 1st Sunday of the Month: 11:30am – Jines Restaurant - 658 Park Ave, Rochester. 3rd Sunday of the Month. 11:30am – Golden Ponds Restaurant – 500 Long Pond Rd. Rochester. Breakfast Brunch Buffet. For more information, contact Cathie at ctimian@l-o-r-a.com or call 585.313.3037 For more information on L.O.R.A. (Lesbians of Rochester & Allies) visit: www.l-o-r-a.com

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) 3rd Sundays, 1-3pm. Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 244-8640 x 27; pflag@gayalliance.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives Sunday hours ended. Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting

33 Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion. Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013

May 2013 FRIDAY 3

Classifieds

Cinco de Mayo. Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

https://www.facebook.com/RochesterTransGrouphttp://transgenderalliance. ning.com. Empire State Pride Agenda Spring Dinner. Rochester Riverside Convention Center. Reception 5:45; dinner and program 7 pm. Hosts: Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Brent Ridge (“The Fabulous Beekman Boys”). Keynote: Donna Rose. Screening of trailer for Shoulders To Stand On video; Community Service Award to Ralph Carter. 917-522-3403; www.prideagenda.org. Rochester Rams bar night. Can-Am weekend opener as the Rams welcome the Ottawa Knights at the Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 9 pm-2 am.

Rainbow SAGE at the Center. Yoga classes begin, led by Tom Somerville. 11 am, Gay Alliance, first floor, 875 E. Main St.

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

Out & Equal Second Thursday Networking. 5:30-7 pm, JCC, 1200 Edgewood Ave. Tapas 177 Lounge, 177 St. Paul St. Us TOO prostate cancer support group. Topic: Metastatic Cancer and Oncological Care, by Dr. Chunkit Fung, SMH/URMC. 7-9 pm. Details: www. sites.google.com/site/ustoorochesterny

Rainbow SAGE 11:30 am at Gay Alliance Center for lunch. Then to Dryden Theatre of George Eastman House for 1:30 screening of “Bringing Up Baby” with Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant and a leopard. For more SAGE events, see page 31.

“No Word in Guyanese for Me.” Opening of third Rainbow Festival play, produced by Bread & Water Theatre, 243 Rosedale St. off Monroe. 8 pm. Also May 4, 8 pm, and May 5, 2 pm.

saturDAY 14

Astrodance. Dance by Thomas Warfield. RIT Imagine Festival, Ingle Auditorium, 11 am and 2 pm.

SUNDAY 5

MONDAY 6

THURSDAY 9

SUNDAY 12

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

WEDNESDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for June issue. 244-9030; susanj@gayallliance.org.

SATURDAY 18

ROMANS clothing optional picnic, Finger Lakes. 1-5 pm. For location e-mail wnyromans@yahoo.com, call 585-2814964 or write ROMANS, PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692. Meeting of the Groups. 2013 gathering of WNY trans groups, 431 East Fayette St. in downtown Syracuse. 2 pm. Information available at http://www. facebook.com/events/624819980865913/ If you need a ride or can drive please leave a message on RTG website: www.rnytg.org or on Facebook at

SUNDAY 19

MONDAY 20

SUNDAY 26

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Picnic! Potluck theme for Memorial Day Weekend: “Picnic in the Park”. Hotline at 585-2345092.

TUESDAY 28

Rochester Trans Group. Monthly meeting, 3-5:30 pm, Gay Alliance, first floor, 875 E. Main St.

FRIDAY 31

Ambush Buffalo Pride Party. 6 pm-1 am, Cobblestone, 130 S. Park Ave., Buffalo. Featuring Kristen Becker, bands, DJs. $10. www.ambushbuffalo.com.

JUNE SATURDAY 1

Big Gay Prom. Theme: Alice in Wonderland. 7 pm, Cathedral Hall, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. LGBT youth and allies ages 13-20. $15. Info: Kelly Clark, 244-8640 ext. 19.

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30am. 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc. org (585) 271-8478

SERVICES

Man to Man Rubdown. Relax with this experienced, fit, healthy. middle-aged, non-smoking GWM. Central location. Private home. Incalls/outcalls. Reasonable rates. Cell #585-773-2410 or home #585-235-6688 or email:magichands@ rochester.rr.com Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478 Free recycling/hauling of motor vehicles, kitchen/laundry appliances, furnaces, water heaters, lawn equipment, snow blowers, metal fencing, pipes, PC

towers or anything made of metal. Call Recycle Queen: 585-305-9602. Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small. Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interior & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304517-6832. Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting and Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year-round and gutter cleaning in the spring or fall. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com. Martin Ippolito master electrician. Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585-266-6337.

FOR SALE

Exquisite metal king bed, perfect condition. Includes headboard, footboard, side rails and platform. Colors: black, gold, gunmetal grey, copper. Stunning designer quality and one of a kind. $850. 585-734-9770.

May 2013 • number 467 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 © 2013, All rights reserved. Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas. Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney. Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

Bed & Breakfast

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 467 • may 2013