Empty Closet, June 2012 by Out Alliance

The Empty Closet local, state and national news , newsmaker interviews , opinion, entertainment, columnists , event calendars , and health resource listings

number 457

a publication of the gay alliance of the genesee valley

Kelly Clark to head Intergenerational Programs: Youth Group a priority

Partnerships The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision. Gold:

Silver:

The Rt. Rev. Bishop Prince G. Singh, and Dr. Roja Singh. Photo: Ove Overmyer

Pride Agenda receives $300,000 to advance GENDA

Bronze:

Champion:

JUNE 2012

By Ove Overmyer On May 19, over 540 supporters attended the 20th annual Empire State Pride Agenda Spring Dinner, held at the Rochester Riverside Convention Center. Rochester’s Episcopal Bishop Prince G. Singh received the Community Service Award. The focus of this year’s dinner was celebrating the passage of the Marriage Equality Act and uniting to achieve full equality for transgender citizens. Passage of the Gender Nondiscrimination Act (GENDA) was the number one topic of conversation for many equality supporters in the crowd. Louis Bradbury of the Calamus Foundation presented a check for $300,000 to support efforts to pass GENDA. Pam Barres, Pride Agenda Foundation board member, said that this is the largest donation received so far in the drive to pass the bill giving basic civil rights protections to transgender New Yorkers. Bradbury gave a heartfelt speech about the need for L, G and B people to support GENDA and the T part of our community. Stephen Guarino, star of Logo’s “The Big Gay Sketch Show” and ABC’s “Happy Endings,” served as a witty emcee. The Spring Dinner celebrates Rochester and Western New York’s commitment to win(Pride Agenda continues page 6)

By Susan Jordan Kelly Clark has been named director of Gay Alliance Intergenerational Programs, which include the Youth (13-23) Program and the Rainbow SAGE (50+) Program. Kelly Clark said, “It’s really important for people to understand that the full youth program will continue as usual, with Drop In, Teen Group and Youth Transgender Group continuing to meet at the same times as always.” Kelly’s academic background includes psychology, human development and counseling, and she has over 20 years experience working directly with youth.

Kelly Clark takes new role

“People have been wondering about the status of the Youth Program,” Clark said. “We’ve spoken to several parents and have assured them that the program is continuing and the Gay Alliance remains committed to serving and supporting LGBT youth, as well as school districts and youth service agencies in our area. That’s not going to change.” Clark continued, “The youth are looking forward to Pride, especially with the superheroes theme!” For information on the Youth Program, see page 30. ■

Bob Day and Audet Price at the Gay Alliance Senior Center opening on May 7. Photo: Susan Jordan

New Senior Center is open Mondays & Tuesdays The Gay Alliance Youth/ Community Center is now open to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) seniors, friends and caretakers on Mondays and Tuesdays. Adults are invited to connect with old friends and make new ones while enjoying the Center’s many activities -- computers and internet access, board games, arts and crafts, Wii games, billiards, videos and more. The Center will be open from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Mondays and Tuesdays, and the Gay Alliance Library will now be open Mondays from 1 to 3 p.m. as well. Senior Center programming features Souper Mondays, a noontime lunch of homemade soup, served with artisan breads and fruit, for just $4; and What’s Trending Tuesdays, a discussion of the entertainment, political and cultural topics of the day over a bring-your-own brown bag lunch. The Senior Center hours represent the next level of expansion of programming for older LGBT adults at the Gay Alliance. “We are excited to be part of a growing movement in the U.S. to better understand the needs of and increase services for

older LGBT adults,” says Interim Executive Director Anne Wakeman. “Through our Rainbow SAGE Program, Rainbow Senior professional development curriculum, and now our Senior Center, we are proud to be leading the charge here in Western New York.” Older LGBT adults are more likely than other seniors to live alone and three to four times less likely to have adult children or other family members who can contribute to their care as they age. “We find many seniors going back into the closet as they age due to fear of discrimination in medical and social services,” says Kelly Clark, director of the newly created Intergenerational Programs at the Gay Alliance. “The Senior Center is an important addition to our programming, as it is designed to keep LGBT older adults connected to the community. The Center will also serve as an important part of the safety net for LGBT seniors, as we will be able to connect participants with other services in the community they may need,” says Clark. To learn more about Gay Alliance programs for older adults, or to schedule the Rainbow Senior professional development workshop for your staff, please contact the Gay Alliance at 585-2448640. For more on SAGE and especially the men’s group, see the interview with Tony Perri and Audet Price on p. 7. ■

Contents “The Meeting of the Groups”

Friend:

A dozen WNY trans groups meet for the first time By JoAnne Metzler and Casey Sullivan “Wow!” “This is incredible!” “I never thought…” and finally from one of the last people to enter the room, “Holy sh--!” These were just a few of the reac-

tions from some of the almost 70 people who showed up for what was referred to as The Meeting of the Groups. On Saturday, April 28, the RTG (Rochester Trans Group) hosted the largest meeting in the group’s history. It had been prompted by Mallory Livingston of the Trans Alliance of Central NY, based in Syracuse. Their group wanted to find out what

other upstate trans groups were doing and wanted to start by visiting Rochester. Over the course of a month or so, with a series of emails and some last minute scrambling to find a space to meet (the musical at the Auditorium Theatre meant no parking!), the meeting came together. And the RTG extends its ( Trans continues page 6)

Newsfronts................................... 4 Interview: Tony Perri & Audet Price................................. 7 Making The Scene.....................10 Businesses.................................15 Pride Guide pullout...................17 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Calamaris..........27 Gay Alliance News.....................30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34

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the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley

Perspectives From the Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

Evolution President Obama’s views on marriage equality have finally “evolved.” And that is great. Some credit goes to his daughters, who have friends with two moms or two dads and who represent a generation which seems comparatively free of homophobic hatred. Will this help or hurt Obama in November? Maybe both. But those outraged by his statement already opposed him. There is another issue involved here. Just as gays thought this sort of thing was over, our private lives and families have again become a political football in an election year. Why are Americans voting on the civil rights of certain groups of citizens anyway? Rights are rights. When did it become OK for any citizens’ civil rights to come up for a vote? Answer: when a minority is hated sufficiently and conservatives can win votes by appealing to that hatred. However, when the voters approve gay rights measures (62 percent now back marriage equality, CBS says), then conservatives start screaming for legislative or judicial decisions. And as far as conservatives are concerned, all judges, even Republicans, who rule in favor of gay rights are “liberal activist judges.” Not all gays support Obama. Some have condemned his reluctance to commit himself. Others disagree with his posi-

tions on non-LGBT issues. Still others are glad that he made his statement, but wish he had waited until after the election. Why? Because the extreme Right is a threat to our democracy. The people they hate most are gays – along with workers, women and people of color. The idea of a Republican seizing power gets more terrifying with every new statement by the neo-fascists who have taken over the Party. The most extreme evangelicals now call themselves “Dominion” and their goal is national/global domination, replacing democracy with Taliban-like theocracy. Such preachers say openly that they want to kill gays – one wants to hold us in electrified pens and watch us die. These people are now catered to by the Republican Party, including Mitt Romney, who, like most of the Republican candidates, signed the NOM pledge which calls for the new Republican president to set up “investigations” of gay Americans on charges of “harassment” and “intimidation.” Shades of Joe McCarthy and the 1950s Commie Witch Hunt! Romney, the prep school bully, followed Obama’s statement with the usual condemnation of our families. Though he may wish to appear moderate to some voters some of the time, he also wants to seem “severely conservative” to the extremists. Moderate Romney hired an openly gay conservative as his foreign policy spokesman, but two weeks later Severe Conservative Romney caved to pressure from extremists, and the gay conservative was out. Thinking back over the history of fascism, one imagines a disillusioned German liberal in 1933 refusing to vote for the weak Weimar Republic – thus supporting Hitler’s rise to totalitarian power. Wrong choice! Just something to think about, in an election year, as our society continues to evolve. ■

Many things

From the Interim Executive Director Anne Wakeman

Honoring those that came before us Do you remember January 13th? It was the first official snowstorm of 2012, with commutes across the city tripled. But the snowstorm isn’t the impetus for my remembrance; rather my memory is forever etched because that day we buried our Dad. Entering church, I was reminded of Mom’s funeral in 2008, where the pews were filled, but this time it was much quieter. Their friends had aged and the weather, oh the weather was playing a major role. Yet, at the “Kiss of Peace” I turned around, saw that the pews had filled in and my heart was touched. Seated behind me were cousins, Billy from Minneapolis, Jimbo from Florida, Kay from Philadelphia, Joe from Massachusetts and others. They are our second cousins. Dad wasn’t their uncle. He was a first cousin to their parents, and yet they were there to honor Dad. As we left for the cemetery, the snow was blowing sideways. Driving behind the hearse, I saw the Honor Guard as we entered. Two “kids” in their twenties, who took off their winter coats, hats and gloves, placed the finishing touches to their “dress blues” and stood by the grave waiting for Dad. With wind and snow slapping their faces, they stood, in honor of a man they had never met. In

this sense, the U.S. military gets it. They honor their past. They honor those that have come before them. And now we have our turn to honor those that came before us. From May 23-July 22, The Jewish Community Center is hosting the Holocaust Memorial Museum exhibit “Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals”. (During open hours, an individual must be seated with the exhibit.) These men, these members of Our Community from 1933-1945, were rounded up by the Nazis, beaten, starved, endured horrific “experiments,” killed and yet, somehow, some of them managed to survive, share their story, and ensure that this part of our history was not forgotten. So I’ll ask that you not just volunteer to sit with the exhibit -- rather I’m asking for a commitment to be there to provide an LGBT Honor Guard for these men. To show up in your version of “dress blues,” thank the Jewish Community for being supportive of Our Community and honor those that came before us. It’s the least we can do. To participate, contact Marc Cataldi at MCataldi@jccrochester.org or (585) 461-2000 x237 In addition, there are numerous other opportunities to participate. The Gay Alliance and Excellus are presenting a reception and the film “Gen Silent” at the exhibit on June 19. This is an extraordinary film depicting LGBT aging (see page 30). The exhibit opened on May 23 with a variety of activities over two months supporting Our Community. For a complete list of activities, please visit JCCRochester.org. With the Jewish Community committing two months to honor the LGBT Community, it is my request that we will return the respect that the Jewish Community has shown to us with our time, presence and commitment to all the activities available. ■

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The Empty Closet • Youth Program • Rochester Pride Education Program & Speakers Bureau Community Safety Program & Anti-Violence Project InQueery • Library and Archives Gay Alliance Resource Directory Shoulders to Stand On • Rainbow SAGE • SafeZone The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. www.GayAlliance.org

E-mail Membership levels: ❏ $30-99 Advocate ❏ $100-999 Champion ❏ $1,000-4,999 Triangle Club ❏ $5,000+ Stonewall ❏ Enclosed is my check in the amount of _________ (check #______) Please charge my credit card in the amount of: __________ To: ❏ American Express, ❏ Discover, ❏ MasterCard, ❏ Visa Credit card # _____________________________ Exp. Date: _______ ❏ I would be proud to have my donation publicly acknowledged. ❏ Please provide me Rainbow SAGE Program (age 50+) News Benefits include: a subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership in the Gay Alliance. 6/12

for Many people

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 © 2011, All rights reserved. Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact. Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas. Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month. Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. (www.emptycloset@ gagv.us) Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us. The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gay-related news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate. Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life. The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney. Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed. We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected. Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv. us. Online edition of EC available at www. gayalliance.org.

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

NewsFronts Local and State

Casey Sullivan and JoAnne Metzler in Albany for the Empire State Pride Agenda’s Equality and Justice Day. Photos: Beth Helsdon

Equality & Justice: An activist’s day in Albany on May 8 By Denise Finnerty Every year I look forward to taking the bus to Albany with 50 other individuals to lobby our senators. This year proved to be just as exciting, if not more so, as previous years, because we were celebrating the passage of equal marriage in NYS and striving for passage of the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA). Getting up early isn’t fun but we do it because we know there is important work to be done. The bus trip became more eventful as we drew closer to Albany, with tips, hints and information on how to have a successful lobbying visit with our senators. Once in Albany, packets for our lobby assignments were waiting. Tables were filled with eager participants awaiting the morning introductions and welcome messages. We met in lobby groups divided by our senate meeting assignments and the meeting facilitators lead us through how a meeting would go. Meeting roles were assigned and stories and facts were prepared by participants to share with the senator. The morning gathering featured speakers including Assemblymember Harry Bronson. Morning lobby sessions were off to a quick start and breakout sessions and workshops were available for those who had an afternoon lobby visit. At meetings with legislators we shared issues surrounding GENDA and the discrimination that transgender people face. Workshops helped us strategize how to be more effective outside Albany in our own communities. At lunch we recounted our experiences of the morning lobby meetings and workshops. The afternoon rally that usually takes place on the Capitol lawn was unfortunately rained out this year. However, that didn’t deter our spirits and an enthusiastic rally took place instead in the large convention room. The afternoon went much the same as the morning. After lobby meetings and breakout workshops, we met again as a big group to hear from more activists who have helped us to keep

momentum along the way. We boarded the bus and prepared to head out of Albany about an hour later. We were tired, but full of hope and strengthened for further work to be done in our hometowns. Here’s to keeping the spirit of local activism alive! Anyone up for signatures at the Public Market on a Saturday morning? Come join us…

Alesi will not run for re-election “NOM will no doubt claim to have had something to do with it,” gay blogger Joe Jervis (JoeMyGod.com) suggested, but NY Sen. James Alesi announced May 9 that he will not seek reelection. Alesi is one of the four GOP state senators targeted by NOM after they helped swing the 2011 same-sex marriage vote into the “yes” column. However, that apparently has nothing to do with Alesi’s decision. Alesi’s re-election prospects were viewed as dim because of a lawsuit he filed in 2011 against a couple in his district after he was injured while allegedly trespassing on the couple’s property. Asked if the lawsuit was a key factor in his decision, Alesi said, “You could point to that. There’s absolutely no way of making that go away. I’ve apologized, and every time it comes up, I reiterate my apology.” Alesi said he would serve the remainder of his term, which runs until year’s end. Monroe County Republican Party leaders have said they will support Assemblyman Sean Hanna, R-Mendon, who is not a supporter of LGBT rights. Monroe County Legislature Minority Leader Ted O’Brien, a gay rights supporter, will run in the 55th District, county Democratic Chairman Joseph Morelle said on May 9. Republicans hold a slim 32-30 seat majority in the Senate.

Assembly Labor Committee OKs minimum wage hike to $8.50 Assemblymember Harry B. Bronson (D-Rochester/ Chili/Riga/Rush/Wheatland)

announced May 9 that legislation to increase the minimum wage has passed through the NYS Assembly Labor Committee (A.9148). Bronson is a member of the Labor Committee and a cosponsor of this legislation. “We have moved one step closer to increasing the minimum wage,” Assemblymember Bronson said. “Hardworking individuals deserve a fair wage and $7.25 an hour is not enough for people to survive on.” If this legislation passes the Assembly and Senate and is signed into law by the governor, the minimum wage would increase from $7.25 an hour to $8.50 an hour. Increasing the minimum wage would provide tremendous relief to many people in Rochester, where according to a 2010 study, 29.4 percent live in poverty. This number is double both the national and state averages. Currently, 18 other states -including the neighboring states of Vermont, Connecticut and Massachusetts -- have higher minimum wages than New York. New York’s minimum wage has only increased 10 cents per hour in the past five years. “Those who work full time should not be living on the poverty line, yet that is what we are seeing with the minimum wage at $7.25,” Assemblymember Bronson said. Assemblymember Bronson has been an active supporter of a minimum wage increase. In May he co-hosted a minimum wage roundtable with Metro Justice and other members of the community to discuss the importance of raising the minimum wage.

Bike MS Challenge Ride is July 21-22 Bike MS Finger Lakes Challenge, July 21 and 22, is a ride for all cyclists. Route options on Saturday include a gentle 30 mile option, a metric century (67 miles), or a challenging 100 mile route. The ride at Keuka Lake, and on Sunday’s century ride, the picturesque lakes Waneta and Lamoka, offer a 20 and 50-mile option past well maintained Mennonite farms with great views of the muck farms and rolling hills. The Bike MS ride is known for the friendliness of the cyclists. Riders are committed to raising funds for research to end the devastating disease, multiple sclerosis and to provide programs and services to more than 12,400 people living with MS in Upstate New York and their families. The riders challenge themselves through the ride and fundraising, and acknowledge the challenges people with MS face every day. It costs $50 to register, and each person commits to raising $250. Starting at Keuka College, cyclists get a rousing send off from volunteers. Rest stops provide snacks, water and port-ajohns along the way. Support vehicles monitor the route and ride leaders patrol to assist anyone with a problem. Among those participating in Bike MS are first-time riders, and veteran cyclists who have been doing Bike MS for more than 20 years. Bike MS says you can form a team (a team consists of at least four people riding or volunteering), join an existing team, or ride as an individual.

Christine Quinn marries Kim Catullo On May 19, New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn became the highest-profile legally married gay politician in the nation. Quinn walked down the aisle in a cream-colored gown designed by New York-based Carolina Herrera, with a one-of-a-kind decorative hair comb by Lulu Frost, fashioned out of family heirlooms. Catullo wore a silk suit designed by Bronx native Ralph Lauren. Both women, whose moms died of cancer when they were teens, were escorted down the aisle by their tough-as-nails, blue-collar dads, both World War II veterans: Lawrence Quinn, 85, and Anthony Catullo, 86. Kim Catullo strode in to Bruce Springsteen’s “If I Should Fall Behind,” followed by Christine Quinn, who entered to Beyoncé’s version of “Ave Maria.” The bridal party walked in to a mix version of “Over the Rainbow” and “What a Wonderful World” by the late Hawaiian singer Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. Before 275 guests that included Senators Kirsten Gillibrand and Charles Schumer and at least 10 City Council members, the couple exchanged platinum wedding bands and eternity bands from Doyle & Doyle. Several recent polls show Quinn easily winning the 2013 NYC mayoral race. ■

Keep Pace with AIDS: walk, run or bike on June 3 June promises to be a busy and productive month for AIDS Care, with two upcoming major events. The signature fundraiser, Keeping Pace with AIDS, will be held Sunday, June 3, at the Roundhouse Pavilion in Genesee Valley Park. The 2012 event will include a 5K walk, 5K fun run, 20- and 50-mile bike rides, and Paws for the Cause. In addition to music and food, this year’s event will feature a performance by Roc City Hoopdance and a dog agility course provided by Coldwater Animal Hospital. All proceeds from Keeping Pace with AIDS will benefit AIDS Care and fund much needed testing and health education, medical care, supportive services, and clinical research. “Community support is critical for helping those living with HIV/AIDS, and it also benefits AIDS Care’s programs that educate and increase awareness about reducing the risk of new infections, including HIV testing,” says Michael Beatty, senior vice president and chief operating officer at AIDS Care. In addition to this fundraiser, AIDS Care is preparing to recognize National HIV Testing Day (NHTD) on Friday, June 22 at

Monroe Square Park located at 259 Monroe Ave. in Rochester. NHTD is a nationwide effort to promote the importance of getting tested for HIV. This event provides an opportunity for people to learn their status so they can protect their own health and that of their partners. Testing is conducted using a state-ofthe-art rapid oral testing method, which produces 99.6 percent accurate results in approximately 20 minutes. According to Dr. Bill Valenti, AIDS Care’s co-founder, senior vice president of medical affairs, and chief medical officer, “Although HIV is preventable, and can be managed with medical treatment; there is still no cure for the disease. Early detection, a multidisciplinary approach, and engaging the patient in care are critical components for treatment success. People diagnosed early in the progression of HIV live longer, healthier lives and early treatment can help stop the spread of HIV to sexual partners.” To register for Keeping Pace with AIDS online prior to the event, or to start a fundraising page, please visit: www.firstgiving.com/acRochester. For more information on this event or National HIV Testing Day, please contact: (585) 5457200 or visit www.acRochester.org.

Thank You Donors The Gay Alliance would like to thank and acknowledge the following individuals who donated between April 20-May 18 and noted that they were “proud to be acknowledged.” ▼ Christopher McCormack ▼ Jayne M. Jimerson ▼ Giuseppe Erba & Mark Piecynski in honor of Sue Cowell ▼ Davide Penella ▼ Michael Kusovich ▼ Amy Galiana & Fernando Galiana We appreciate all 43 individuals who donated during that time.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

NewsFronts national and international Evolution complete: President endorses marriage equality President Obama on May 9 endorsed marriage equality in an ABC News interview with Robin Roberts, after the White House experienced a tumultuous three days of questioning by the press spurred by Vice President Joe Biden’s Meet the Press remarks on Sunday. Biden remarked that he was “absolutely comfortable” with gay people marrying, a statement that took him to the left of the President, who has said since he took office that he is “evolving” on the issue. Said Obama: “I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.” Added the President: “It’s interesting, some of this is also generational. You know when I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk to college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy, on foreign policy, but are very clear that when it comes to same sex equality or, you know, believe in equality. They are much more comfortable with it. You know, Malia and Sasha, they have friends whose parents are same-sex couples. There have been times where Michelle and I have been sitting around the dinner table and we’re talking about their friends and their parents and Malia and Sasha, it wouldn’t dawn on them that somehow their friends’ parents would be treated differently. It doesn’t make sense to them and frankly, that’s the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective.” Freedom to Marry response Evan Wolfson, Founder and President of Freedom to Marry, the campaign to win marriage nationwide, hailing President Obama’s statement of support for the freedom to marry. “Today, President Obama added his voice to the growing chorus of Americans

who believe that all loving and committed couples should share equally in the freedom to marry. Like so many others who have made this journey – from Bill Clinton to Laura Bush, most recently Vice President Biden, and a majority of the American people – President Obama has come to know loving and committed gay couples. Through thought and conversation about these families and their dreams and challenges, President Obama has reflected on his own values of fairness and respect for others, and completed his journey to support for the freedom to marry. He now becomes the first sitting President to join the majority of Americans whose hearts have opened and minds have changed in favor of the freedom to marry. “The President’s support marks a historic turning point for the freedom to marry movement. Yet there is much left to be done. Forty-four states continue to exclude same-sex couples from marriage and because of the federal so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the civil marriages of thousands of same-sex couples are not respected by the federal government, thus depriving families of a crucial safety-net of federal protections and responsibilities. It is time to repeal discriminatory laws that hurt families and help no one and speed passage of freedom to marry laws throughout the country. “Government has no business putting obstacles in the path of loving and committed couples and their families who simply seek to care for one another and for whom marriage matters. We call on the President, members of Congress, and state legislators from both sides of the aisle, to act together to bring an end to marriage discrimination and put government at every level on the side of families, fairness, and freedom. ” HRC response Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese released the following statement in response to the President’s remarks: “Today, President Obama made history by boldly stating that gay and lesbian Americans should be fully and equally part of the fabric of American society and that our families deserve nothing less than the equal respect and recognition that comes through marriage. “His presidency has shown that our nation can move beyond its shameful history of discrimination and injustice. In him, millions of young Americans have seen that their futures will not be limited by what makes them different. In

supporting marriage equality, President Obama extends that message of hope to a generation of young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans, helping them understand that they too can be who they are and flourish as part of the American community. And his words remind gay and lesbian families across the country, who, like their neighbors, struggle to afford healthcare and college for their kids, pay their taxes and plan for retirement –but with the added burden of discrimination— that they do not face those challenges alone and unheard. “Americans fundamentally believe in fairness, but many, like the President, have struggled to reconcile that core belief and the question of marriage equality. The President’s words will no doubt inspire thousands more conversations around kitchen tables and in church pews. We are confident that our nation will continue to move inexorably toward equality and we thank the President for so boldly leading us in that direction.” Incoming HRC President Chad Griffin also applauded President Obama’s support for marriage equality, saying: “President Obama’s words today will be celebrated by generations to come. For the millions of young gay and lesbian Americans across this nation, President Obama’s words provide genuine hope that they will be the first generation to grow up with the freedom to fully pursue the American dream. Marriage—the promise of love, companionship, and family—is basic to the pursuit of that dream. Our Constitution’s promise, the promise of liberty, is one that every generation must realize. As President Obama recognized today, the fight to secure marriage equality is the defining element of our generation’s search for greater freedom.” ACLU response “President Obama is doing the right thing and showing leadership by recognizing that lesbians and gays should be treated as equal citizens,” said Anthony D. Romero, ACLU Executive Director. “The freedom to marry whomever we love and want to share our life with is fundamental to who we are and what we stand for as a country. The fight for fairness and equal treatment under the law for all Americans took a critical step forward today.” The Center for American Progress response Center for American Progress President Neera Tanden said, “We applaud the president’s decision as it is another large step toward realizing this country’s promise of equality. Indeed, President Obama today helped bend the arc of history toward justice. And his stance will be remembered as such.” Winnie Stachelberg, CAP’s Executive Vice President for External Affairs, added, “President Obama made history today when he came out in full support of marriage rights for gay couples. Many Americans have thought about this issue and, like the president, have reconsidered their feelings about it. His journey is our

journey.” National Gay and Lesbian Task Force response Rea Carey, Executive Director, said, “President Obama’s ‘evolution’ is now complete. Congratulations, Mr. President, for making history today by becoming the first sitting president to explicitly support marriage for same-sex couples. Who benefits? Millions of families who now know that their country’s leader believes in fairness for all. This is a great day for America. “We celebrate this moment and also remember that the right of loving, committed couples to get married is just one of many issues affecting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. It is heartening to know the president stands with our families in the pursuit of full equality, economic security and justice.” AFER response “Today is a proud day for all Americans,” said AFER lead co-counsel Theodore B. Olson. “The bedrock American principles of freedom and human dignity are central to the political and legal convictions of Republicans, Democrats, liberals, and conservatives alike. President Obama’s words remind us that marriage and equality are universal values that unite us all. They remind us that we are all—as a People and a Nation—striving to form a more perfect Union.” “President Obama’s words today will be celebrated by generations to come,” said AFER Board President Chad Griffin. “For the millions of young gay and lesbian Americans across this nation, their President’s words provide genuine hope that they will be the first generation to grow up with the freedom to fully pursue the American dream. Marriage—the promise of love, companionship, and family— is basic to the pursuit of that dream. Our Constitution’s promise, the promise of liberty, is one that every generation must realize. As President Obama recognized today, the fight to secure marriage equality is the defining element of our generation’s search for greater freedom.” SLDN response Army Veteran and SLDN Executive Director Aubrey Sarvis released the following statement today upon the announcement by President Barack Obama of his support for marriage equality. “This is a great day for gay and lesbian service members, who are living with the daily reality that while they are now be able to serve openly, they and their families are treated as second-class citizens under laws like the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Certainly, the President’s leadership in repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ laid the foundation for his reaching this positive outcome. We welcome the President’s support for marriage and will work with him to repeal DOMA and all laws that undermine equality and treat our service members unfairly.” Empire State Pride Agenda response “We are thrilled by President Obama’s

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet declaration of support for marriage equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Americans. “The President now joins the majority of New Yorkers and Americans who believe that all committed and loving couples should have the opportunity to enjoy the protections that marriage offers to them and their families. “However, the President’s support for marriage equality does not mean that the fight for fairness and equality for LGBT individuals and their families is over. The Defense of Marriage Act still exists on the federal level, barring legally married same-sex New Yorkers from accessing the 1,138 rights and responsibilities that come with marriage. Clearly the work is not over, but we welcome President Obama’s voice to the chorus of supporters who believe that same-sex couples should have the ability to marry in their home state and have that marriage recognized by our federal government.”

Leaked Republican memo advises changing anti-gay stance “Not sure how this memo leaked, but I’m glad it did,” Andy Towle posted on Towleroad.com May 5. “It was dispatched yesterday from the desk of Jan van Lohuizen, the respected Republican pollster and founder of Voter Consumer Research, and was destined for the desks of various Republican insiders and operatives. Here’s the text:” Background: In view of this week’s news on the same sex marriage issue, here is a summary of recent survey findings on same sex marriage: 1. Support for same sex marriage has been growing and in the last few years, support has grown at an accelerated rate with no sign of slowing down. A review of public polling shows that up to 2009 support for gay marriage increased at a rate of 1 percent a year. Starting in 2010 the change in the level of support accelerated to 5 percent a year. The most recent public polling shows supporters of gay marriage outnumber opponents by a margin of roughly 10 percent (for instance: NBC / WSJ poll in February/March: support 49 percent, oppose 40 percent). 2. The increase in support is taking place among all partisan groups. While more Democrats support gay marriage than Republicans, support levels among Republicans are increasing over time. The same is true of age: younger people support same sex marriage more often than older people, but the trends show that all age groups are rethinking their position. 3. Polling conducted among Republicans shows that majorities of Republicans and Republican leaning voters support extending basic legal protections to gays and lesbians. These include majority Republican support for: 1. Protecting gays and lesbians against being fired for reasons of sexual orientation 2. Protections against bullying and

harassment 3. Repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell 4. Right to visit partners in hospitals 5. Protecting partners against loss of home in case of severe medical emergencies or death 6. Legal protection in some form for gay couples whether it be same sex marriage or domestic partnership (only 29 percent of Republicans oppose legal recognition in any form). Recommendation: A statement reflecting recent developments on this issue along the following lines: “People who believe in equality under the law as a fundamental principle, as I do, will agree that this principle extends to gay and lesbian couples; gay and lesbian couples should not face discrimination and their relationship should be protected under the law. People who disagree on the fundamental nature of marriage can agree, at the same time, that gays and lesbians should receive essential rights and protections such as hospital visitation, adoption rights, and health and death benefits. Other thoughts/Q&A: Follow up to questions about affirmative action: “This is not about giving anyone extra protections or privileges, this is about making sure that everyone – regardless of sexual orientation – is provided the same protections against discrimination that you and I enjoy.” Why public attitudes might be changing: “As more people have become aware of friends and family members who are gay, attitudes have begun to shift at an accelerated pace. This is not about a generational shift in attitudes, this is about people changing their thinking as they recognize their friends and family members who are gay or lesbian.” Conservative fundamentals: “As people who promote personal responsibility, family values, commitment and stability, and emphasize freedom and limited government we have to recognize that freedom means freedom for everyone. This includes the freedom to decide how you live and to enter into relationships of your choosing, the freedom to live without excessive interference of the regulatory force of government.” Towleroad continues: Andrew Sullivan, writing at The Daily Beast, thinks the memo is a rather big deal. He writes, only a little melodramatically: “The last paragraph is, to my mind, the most remarkable. It’s advising Republican candidates to emphasize the conservative nature of gay marriage, to say how it encourages personal responsibility, commitment, stability and family values. It uses Dick Cheney’s formula (which was for a couple of years, the motto of this blog) that ‘freedom means freedom for everyone.’ And it uses David Cameron’s argument that you can be for gay marriage because you are a conservative.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/2012/05/leaked-republican-memoadvises-quick-evolution-on-gay-issues. html#ixzz1urAzCGxy

Dharun Ravi gets 30 days for Clementi harassment to suicide Noting his lack of a prior arrest record and the unlikeness that he will re-offend, on May 21 a New Jersey judged sentenced former Rutgers student Dharun Ravi to only 30 days in jail and probation in the case of the suicide of his gay roommate Tyler Clementi. The probation period is three years and includes 300 hours of community service. Ravi has also been fined $11,950, which is to be paid in monthly installments and will be donated to a statesponsored group “dedicated to assisting victims of biased crimes”. Ravi will not be deported. Steven Goldstein from Garden State Equality remarked, “Those who have oppose giving Dharun Ravi jail time have asked, ‘Hasn’t he suffered enough?’ But we believe there’s another question: Has Dharun Ravi done enough? Has he done enough to use his place in history to speak out against student bullying and to make a positive impact on millions of lives across our state and nation? “Thus far, no. “We have been public in taking a position of balance: We opposed throwing the book at Dharun Ravi. We have spoken out against giving him the maximum sentence of 10 years in jail and against deporting him. That would have been vengeance beyond punishment and beyond sending a message to the rest of society. But we have similarly rejected the other extreme that Ravi should have gotten no jail time at all, and today’s sentencing is closer to that extreme than the other. This was not merely a childhood prank gone awry. This was not a crime without bias.” Calling Ravi’s actions “colossally insensitive and criminal,” Judge Glenn Berman lambasted Ravi for an apparent lack of contrition. “I heard this jury say, ‘guilty’ 288 times--24 questions, 12 jurors. That’s the multiplication. I haven’t heard you apologize once.” Though Clementi’s parents and friends asked for a harsh sentence for the apparent unremorseful Ravi — Clementi’s mother called Ravi’s actions “evil and malicious” — gay activists have advocated against the maximum 10-year and deportation sentence Ravi faced and many of them agreed with Judge Berman’s decision. Shane Windmeyer from Campus Pride said the case should serve as a reminder that all campus administrators and students have an obligation to work against anything even vaguely resembling discrimination or bigotry. “Every person has a responsibility to stand up for those who experience bullying and harassment – tragedies can be averted anytime even a single voice speaks out for the voiceless,” he said. “Bystanders – those who witness bullying or harassment and do nothing to stop it – can plead neither ignorance nor

5 innocence. Active silence can be as damaging as active bullying and result in tragedies like Clementi’s death.” Dan Savage described the sentencing as “far, far too lenient.” In addition to his immediate punishments, Ravi also faces three years probation. The prosecution, meanwhile, suggested today it may appeal Berman’s decision. If they do not appeal, however, Ravi will report to a correctional facility on May 31. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz1vWqzeOw0

N.C. bans marriage, all LGBT relationships On May 8, North Carolina’s discriminatory and overreaching Amendment One passed, banning marriage and other forms of relationship recognition for gays and lesbians. The Human Rights Campaign expressed disappointment in the vote, but characterized it as a temporary setback in the fight for equality. “The passage of Amendment One is a heartbreaking loss for families in North Carolina, but will not stop us in the march toward full equality,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “As the country continues to move in the direction of marriage equality, our opponents have cynically interrupted the important conversations taking place which lead to increased understanding and acceptance.” Support for these constitutional amendments has been dropping over the years as support for marriage equality continues to rise nationwide. In 2004 similar amendments passed on average 71 percent to 29 percent. In 2008, the margin shrank from 57 percent to 43 percent. The average for these amendments in the South has been 75 percent to 25 percent. More on the history of state constitutional marriage bans is at: www.hrc.org/ resources/entry/state-constitutional-marriage-bans. Prior to the vote, the May 1 PPP poll showed voters under age 30 opposed the amendment by 26 points and in addition, reports indicate that youth turnout was significantly high during the early voting period. Tellingly, NC House Speaker Thom Tillis also recently said the issue was generational and that the amendment would be repealed in 20 years. “Marriage is a tremendously motivating issue for younger voters, and we’ve seen an outpouring of energy against this amendment from youth,” said Solmonese. “Elected officials would be wise to tap into this enthusiasm.” Most voters uninformed The amendment, which made it to the ballot after Republicans took control of both houses of the state legislature in 2010, could strip legal protections and healthcare coverage from children, threaten basic protections that all unmarried couples rely on, and harm unmarried seniors. Polling shows that when voters (Newsfronts continue page 6)

page one (Pride Agenda continued from page 1) ning the fight for equality and justice for LGBT New Yorkers and our families. The formal event featured a reception, a live auction and inspiring speeches from the Pride Agenda’s Interim Executive Director Lynn A. Faria and New York State Lt. Gov. Robert Duffy. Duffy said, “You can judge an organization by whom they honor. And this year, it is very telling that they honor… a great man like Rochester’s Bishop Singh. It tells you a lot about the Empire State Pride Agenda.” The Rt. Rev. Prince G. Singh, Bishop of Rochester, received the 2012 Community Service Award for his outstanding contributions to equality. He serves as the eighth Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Rochester. Due to being deeply influenced by friends from the LGBT community, Bishop Singh became a vocal spokesperson with the Uniting Families Act and actively took on a leadership role in the marriage equality campaign. He made several moving speeches at public venues in Albany and Rochester, as well as church conventions and community conferences. Bishop Singh has also been a strong voice for inclusion in his own church, supporting the affirmation and the important contributions of gay and lesbian leaders in the faith movement. Bishop Singh has been married to Dr. Roja Singh since 1991. Dr. Singh teaches at St. John Fisher College. They have two sons. The Empire State Pride Agenda is a New York statewide civil rights organization committed to winning equality and justice for LGBT New Yorkers and our families. Formed in 1990, the Pride Agenda is widely considered one of most effective statewide civil rights organizations in the country. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012 (Trans continued from page 1) deepest gratitude to AIDS Care (AC) for providing the room at Monroe Square and to Chris Moran of AC for coming in on his day off to open the doors and then hanging around to lock up after us. After an icebreaker led by Jeanne Gainsburg, Outreach Coordinator for the Gay Alliance, Maur Delany of the Genesee Valley Gender Variants had a member from each group introduce themselves and talk about what was going on with their group. Besides RTG and the Trans Alliance of CNY, there were members from Erie Sisters, Genesee Valley Gender Variants, Buffalo Belles, Spectrum of Buffalo, Southern Tier Gals, Guys Night Out, Trans Couples of WNY (they pointed out they are NOT a swinger’s group! they are support group for spouses of the partner that is transitioning), Ithaca Trans Group, Self Made Men and FAIRNY (Focus on Awareness and Information Resources of NY) who talked about the up coming LGBT week and Trans Day Saturday 9/1 at the NY State Fair. People came from Elmira and as far away as Potsdam. Rochester community activist Courtney Michie talked about the Empire State Pride Agenda’s May 8 Equality and Justice Day in Albany. She also mentioned The TRANScribe Project at www.prideagenda.org/story, a joint project with ESPA and the NYCLU (New York Civil Liberties Union), which is an ongoing collection of stories written by trans people in their own words. She spoke about how far reaching and powerful these stories can be and how they can affect people. A woman had come up to a table where Courtney was handing out information about GENDA and told her how moved she had been by the stories she had read on the TRANScribe website. She signed a letter asking for trans rights and asked what more she could do to help! When Mallory Livingston was asked how she felt about the sheer number of

Lake Ontario vacation in Sodus Point, N.Y.

Silver Waters Bed & Breakfast 8420 Bay Street Sodus Point, NY 14555 Phone: 315-483-8098 www.silver-waters.com Hosts, Mike & Joe

people who showed up for the “Summit,” she said, “Overwhelmed by the number. Praying for at least 30 and we had more than twice that.” She added, “We have strength we haven’t used, friends we haven’t met and to find them all we have to do is stop hiding ourselves.” There was a good deal of discussion on how to communicate with each other and then get the word out to the general community using the internet, which has some really good possibilities and also some definite dangers. “Refreshing to see our community get together, like a gathering of the tribes,” was Ari Moore’s comment. She was one of the original founders of Buffalo’s Spectrum and the AAQA (Afro-American Queens Association), and she added that a meeting like this could never have happened 30 years ago. At 5 p.m. the party continued, as more than half of the almost 70 people descended on an unsuspecting and fortunately quite accommodating 140 Alex, the bar/restaurant just down the street. The discussions continued on how to keep this momentum going and suggestions included making this an annual event hosted by different cities each year, and marching in each other’s pride parades. Christina Clowes of Buffalo’s Spectrum said, “I think this is long overdue. Collaborating on things is the best way to make things happen.” Another person commented, “We are like all these branches of a tree, only what we are missing is a trunk, something we can all organize around. The trans community is so fragmented – different interests and goals and separated geographically.” One of the end results of this unprecedented gathering was coming up with ideas for an all-encompassing website that would be for all the upstate trans groups. It would involve visitors and be more like social networking sites with chat rooms. This would provide connections and collaborations with all the

trans groups in upstate New York and continue what was started here at the meeting in Rochester, as the upstate trans community actually becomes a true community working together. ■

national and international (North Carolina from page 5) understood how far-reaching Amendment One was, they turned against it – but only 40 percent even knew the amendment banned civil unions. “Our opponents were unfortunately successful in masking the broad nature of this measure,” said Solmonese. “Were it not for their lies, voters would have understood the harm that this amendment will inflict on thousands of North Carolina families and would have voted against it.” Amendment 1 was pushed onto the ballot on a low-turnout primary election day. Freedom to Marry response Evan Wolfson, founder and President of Freedom to Marry, released the following statement: “As momentum for the freedom to marry continues to grow in the rest of the nation, today’s vote is a painful reminder of what happens when a preemptive ballot-measure is stampeded through before people have had enough time to take in real conversations about who gay families are and why marriage matters to them. This amendment is a last gasp of discrimination that will cause real harm to families, communities, and businesses in North Carolina, but says little about the prospects for a better outcome in battles to come in states where there has been greater visibility for loving and committed couples and those who get to know them. And even in North Carolina, the long-term effect of this nasty attack will (Newsfronts continue page 12)

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Interview Tony Perri and Audet Price of SAGE By Susan Jordan SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders) is now a program of the Gay Alliance. The new Senior Center at the Gay Alliance opened on May 7 and will be hosting SAGE members on Mondays and Tuesdays from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. (See article, page one). The group also meets at other times and has a variety of subgroups and social activities, as well as plans to train local service providers (nursing homes, senior centers, hospitals, etc.) about the special needs of elders in the gay community. Tony Perri got involved with the group then known as Rainbow Seniors in 2006. He was on the board by 2007. The group changed its name to Rainbow SAGE in 2010. Audet Price joined in 2009, just before the name change. Tony said, “I was probably the major advocate for allying with the Gay Alliance. I was president of Rainbow Seniors at the time. I met Sue Cowell at an LGBT mental health conference in NYC in 2009, right after she became Executive Director. We were sitting around at a social event and started talking. There had been talk about Rainbow Seniors merging with the Gay Alliance. Most of the Seniors board members felt that the group could not survive depending on volunteers alone and we needed professional support. Our longtime volunteers were burning out. “We were primarily a social group and had potlucks and that sort of thing. We had very little contact with the larger LGBT community. The merger was a long process – United Way helped us a lot.

We didn’t realize how complex a merger is; we had lawyers involved. But it finally happened.” Tony said that the merger will enable SAGE to advocate for LGBT elders in the greater Rochester community. He said, “My ultimate goal was to be able to do trainings for caregivers, nursing homes, senior centers and so on.” Tony and Audet are on the advisory committee for SAGE, along with Brian Hurlbut (who does the SAGE newsletter), Nan Fry and Evelyn Bailey, as well as two women from Catholic Family Services. Sandra Ehmann and her partner Ginny Dekin organize the monthly euchre club games and tournaments, and dd Corcimiglia runs the bi-annual dances. SAGE is a national group with 22 affiliations, but each state organization is independent. New York City has the largest group, and has just opened a senior center. The advisory committee members are in the process of being trained by Scott Fearing of the Gay Alliance so that they can become trainers themselves. Tony said, “We’re developing a program to go to various providers. We hope to do presentations for staffs of nursing homes, hospitals, senior centers, etc. Lifespan has workshops on emergency care and many other topics, but nothing on LGBT elders’ issues.” Social activities are not neglected. SAGE hosts two dances a year, and in addition to Mondays and Tuesdays at the Gay Alliance Center, they continue their monthly potlucks at the Unitarian Universalist Church. The potlucks are now also member meetings. Kelly Clark, Gay Alliance Intergenerational Programs Director, coordinates the “meet ‘n greet”

Tony Perry and Audet Price. Photo: Susan Jordan

part of the potlucks. Tony said, “We also have a picnic in the summer. We play euchre on a monthly basis and have two tournaments a year. We also host an annual Intergenerational Panel.” One subgroup is the men’s group, which meets at members’ homes. Tony is secretary and sends out emails to members. “It’s a social group,” Tony says, “and we discuss what it means to be a gay man of our generation. Some of the subjects we discuss are dating and relationships, sexuality issues and growing older alone – a lot of gay men our age live alone. Some of our members are in relationships, and we talk about that, especially when there’s an age gap between partners. And we plan social activities. It’s very informal. The men’s group can help by reducing isolation. Many of our older men are in the closet, and many have come out later in life, so

we talk about what that means for them.” The oldest group member is 85. The men’s group has 25 members, but attendance will fluctuate depending on what people are doing that month. The group had its first anniversary in January. Audet said, “Sometimes we barbecue and eat around the fire in somebody’s back yard. The men’s group is successful because it’s held at members’ houses. It’s less formal than a public place, and you feel freer to talk – you’re more comfortable. I tell my friends about the men’s group and they come. We watch films – last night we watched ‘Bully.’” Tony said, “We have respect for each other’s ideas. We don’t force anyone to come out. We always welcome new people, both to men’s group and to the larger SAGE group, and we introduce newcomers to everyone.” ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

Making the Scene

BORN THIS WAY: The Gay Alliance Youth Group hosted The Gaga Prom: Born This Way in the Auditorium Center’s Cathedral Room on May 18; 245 youth attended, from 43 schools and 14 colleges and technical schools. More on p. 30. Photos: Tyler Schwab

My Own Private Rochester: Carrie Vernon By Susan Jordan This year Carrie Vernon will be chairperson of Rochester Pride for the first time. She has been a Pride co-organizer for the Gay Alliance for the past four years, and before that worked on Pride for the now-defunct Business Forum. Carrie’s energy and love of interacting with people have prevented burnout. She says, “Pride is my favorite event in Rochester. It’s the best 10 days to be gay – sorry, ImageOut! But I love ImageOut too. Pride is my favorite because, as I meet people in the community and ask for advice, it’s my way to connect. To me, Pride is about bringing the community together. It’s also about getting visibility for the community.” Carrie’s favorite Pride event is the Rainbow Flag-raising at City Hall, which kicks off Pride celebrations. “When you walk out of City Hall, you feel proud, like you’ve been recognized,” she said. Carrie was born in Biloxi, Miss. Her father was in the Air Force, and both her parents were born and raised on Long Island. After her dad left the service, the family moved back to L.I. Then he got a job at Kodak and the family moved to Rochester in 1982. “I volunteer a lot for the Gay Alliance,” she said. “I’m on the board and am chair of Pride.” Her Pride connection permeates her entire life, including her favorite hobby of traveling. “I tend to travel a lot,” she said, “and somehow Pride is always involved. I call Pride organizers wherever I go. I was just in NYC and I met with New York Pride and Long Island Pride. Pride is a 365-daya-year event for me.” Carrie, a CPA, travels for work, to see friends and just to explore new places. Last year she was in Chicago, Boston,

L.A., Phoenix, Las Vegas, Fort Worth, Longbeach (Calif.) and Provincetown. This year she hopes to get to Ireland for the first time. Her only other European jaunt has been a trip to Spain. Carrie is also a co-host of the podcast Gay Sunday Brunch. She confides, “Gay Sunday Brunch is a riot. I was on the show a couple of times as a guest and now am one of four co-hosts, with Jim Ver Steeg.

The other three co-hosts are Dan McCarthy, Chris Stroud and Jason Buitrago. Kasha Davis has had to step down due to her crowded schedule. “We do the show every Sunday and record from 11 a.m. to noon, and the show is posted by 1 p.m. What we do is talk about gay news for the first half of the show and then we laugh at the craziness of the world, and tease each other. Some-

Carrie in her University Avenue neighborhood. Photo: Susan Jordan

thing that’s new is that we’ve just joined a big LGBT podcast network, QTalk America; we’re getting great feedback. We’re actually listened to in 112 countries around the world!” Carrie enjoys working with podcast creator Jim Ver Steeg. “He’s smart and caring and absolutely funny,” she says. “I’ve learned a lot working with him, about news and his career and broadcasting. We make a difference – we got an ‘It Gets Better’ video from a young man and we put it on our Facebook page and let him know we are there for him.” Carrie loves to get out and about. She says, “I’m a social person and I tend to be out a lot and hopefully networking. But I enjoy the few nights I have at home. I love music! There’s nothing better than blaring music while I clean my apartment – anything from the Killers and Aerosmith to Lady Gaga. I like my dance music! I was raised on rock music and I love the hip stuff too.” Another love is musicals. “I usually go to RBTL’s Broadway musicals at the Auditorium Theatre,” she said. “I really loved ‘The Producers.’ I laughed so hard I was dying!” Her favorite restaurant is Golden Pond Dim Sum on East Ave. She also likes Mexican food and often eats at Salena’s, and she was just about to try the excellent Rio Tomatlan in Canandaigua. Her favorite bars are 140 Alex and the Bachelor Forum; the latter is her neighborhood bar. Carrie has a 16-year-old cat named Sugar, which she leaves with her parents when she goes traveling. “She’s my little senior citizen,” Carrie laughs. “Rochester is a very fortunate city and ahead of the times on LGBT issues,” she said. “We’re always on the edge of civil rights and we have a lot of great history here.” ■

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Rochester activists at the Pride Agenda’s lobby day in Albany on May 8. Photo: Denise Finnerty

E & J DAY: Samara Eaton, Peter Vallaincourt (top row), Maur DeLaney, Katie Welch, Claire Mulvey, Denise Finnerty, Drew Langdon (bottom row). Photo: Beth Helsdon

Rally for GENDA. Photo: Denise Finnerty

SPRING DINNER: At the Empire State Pride Agenda Spring Dinner, May 19 at the Riverside Convention Center. L-R: Duffy Palmer, NYS Sen. Jim Alesi, ESPA Interim ED Lynn Faria, NYS Assemblyman Joe Morelle and Lt. Gov. Bob Duffy. Photos: Ove Overmyer

Anne Tischer, Maur DeLaney, Katie Welch, Claire Mulvey. Photo: Denise Finnerty

Assemblymember Harry Bronson. Photo: Beth Helston

national and international (North Carolina continued from page 7) be to spur more conversations and open more hearts, helping more people rise to fairness and support for the freedom to marry.” Freedom to Marry is deeply engaged in campaigns underway to defeat an antigay constitutional amendment in Minnesota, defend the freedom to marry law passed by the legislature and signed by the governor in Washington state, and win the freedom to marry in Maine – all involving ballot-measures in November. To support the work in these states, Freedom to Marry launched the $3 million Win More States Fund, which is strategically channeling funds into grassroots organizing, television and radio spots, new media programs, and more. Freedom to Marry has also long invested in public education that creates the climate for changing hearts and minds-–as reflected most recently in Vice President Biden’s heartfelt explanation of how his thinking evolved to support the freedom to marry. In 2011 Freedom to Marry launched its national persuasion campaign, Why Marriage Matters, raising and spending an initial one million dollars on message development and delivery, including the creation of television spots and videos and deployment of powerful messengers and personal stories. Nationally, a bipartisan analysis of polling data spanning more than a decade showed steady growth in support for the freedom to marry over a 13-year period, with a striking acceleration over the past two years. In 2011 Gallup found 53 percent support for the freedom to marry nationwide, with more than half a dozen other polls showing majority support. This surge is the result of evolving positions among every group analyzed, including older Americans and Republicans, groups that have been the least supportive of the freedom to marry. Gay and lesbian couples have the freedom to marry in eight states and the District of Columbia. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Rea Carey, Executive Director , said, “North Carolina has wandered into treacherous terrain with Amendment One. For all the talk of bolstering families, this measure shamefully shoves them into harm’s way. “Blocking loving couples from forming legal unions like domestic partnerships, civil unions and marriage flies in the face of family values. Indeed, Amendment One defies what it means to be a family today. Many North Carolinians, including seniors, single women and children, could be placed in peril because the shrinking definition of family excludes them. Some might even be denied life-saving services like domestic violence protections. This is a brutal step backward for relationship recognition in

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012 North Carolina. “We thank all the voters who rejected Amendment One. We stand in solidarity with them and the Coalition to Protect North Carolina Families as they build on this effort to make North Carolina welcoming and safe for all.” American Foundation for Equal Rights “The passage of Amendment One is a profound injustice. Singling out a class of citizens for discriminatory treatment is unfair, unlawful and violates basic American values,” said AFER Executive Director Adam Umhoefer. “Gay and lesbian Americans, like their fellow citizens, want nothing more than to marry the person they love. Committed, loving couples and their families should not be denied this most fundamental freedom.” Neo-Nazis rejoice; Republicans start revoking domestic partners insurance The neo-Nazi group World-Wide White Pride celebrated the passage of Amendment One by posting a Fox News story and photo showing the bill’s backers as they triumphantly shared a lavish wedding cake. “Because gay people don’t deserve civil rights OR cake,” commented JoeMyGod.com. The passage of Amendment One was less than a day old when North Carolina Republicans moved to revoke domestic partners insurance. From an email issued by Mecklenburg County Commissioner Bill James to legal staffers: “Since Amendment One has passed when will we get a memo or something that outlines what changes we need to make to our health plan to be in compliance? I recall when the Democrats on the Commission forced the issue and added these benefits for homosexuals that a number of legal experts said it was illegal then – including the City attorney. Now that Amendment One has passed it obviously is illegal to offer this benefit as there is now only one ‘domestic legal union’ recognized in the state. Prior to the vote most scholars (left and right) said that Amendment One would eliminate local faux ‘marriage’ benefits for homosexual employees. I would cite them but you know them all too well.” Student starts petition drive More than 60,000 people have joined a rapidly-growing campaign on Change. org opposing Amendment 1. Jennifer Halweil, a student at North Carolina State University, launched the campaign on Change.org after North Carolina approved the amendment. Within two hours, it had 13,000 signatures, and less than 12 hours later, Jennifer’s petition hit the 60,000 signature mark. “It’s powerful to watch people in our state, and outside of it, stand up to this hateful law,” said Halweil. “Although I am not gay myself, I believe this amendment has disastrous implications for more than just gay couples, but for families and children of all walks of life in North Carolina. This law is bad for our families, our

economy and our state. “I truly believe that technology can help foster greater equality than has ever been achieved before in history,” Halweil added. “Where others see failure, I see hope and an opportunity to learn and grow. My hope is that the outcry to repeal Amendment 1 will be the first stepping stone on the path to a new era in my state, and in the US as a whole.” Amendment 1 has been the focus of considerable debate in recent months, as its passage makes North Carolina the 31st state in the nation to approve an outright ban on same-sex marriage and the last southern state to approve such a measure. Opponents of the amendment say the ban goes far beyond same-sex marriage and negatively impacts domestic-violence protections and health benefits for unmarried families. Live signature totals from Jenn Halweil’s campaign: http://www.change.org/petitions/1million-against-amendment-1 Activists arrested in protest The Campaign for Southern Equality’s WE DO Campaign, peaceful direct actions protesting marriage inequality, launched its latest series of events at county offices in North Carolina in the wake of the passage of Amendment One. On May 10 there was an arrest in WinstonSalem. Mary Jamis, 52, of Mocksville, and a heterosexual friend who joined the protest, Mary Lea Bradford of WinstonSalem, were arrested after they blocked the entrance to the marriage license office and refused to leave more than 30 minutes after closing time. A county administrator tried to talk the women into leaving and avoiding arrest, but the two insisted they would stay unless Jamis was issued a marriage license for her and her partner, Starr Johnson, 48. A half dozen female officers then crowded around Jamis and Bradford, who were seated. The officers asked them to stand, handcuffed them and led them out a side door and into a van to be booked at the county sheriff’s department across the street. They were charged with second-degree trespass, a low-level misdemeanor, and released without bond, authorities said. The WE DO campaign had more stops planned.

Beloved author Maurice Sendak dies at 83 Maurice Sendak, the gay author of imaginative and beloved children’s books like Where the Wild Things Are and In the Night Kitchen, died May 8 at 83. The cause was complications from a recent stroke, said Michael di Capua, his longtime editor. Sendak came out of the closet publicly in 2008 in an interview with the New York Times: “Was there anything he had never been asked? He paused for a few moments and answered, ‘Well, that I’m gay... I just didn’t think it was anybody’s business,’ Mr. Sendak added. “He lived with Eugene Glynn, a psychoanalyst, for 50 years before Dr. Glynn’s death in May 2007. “He never told his parents: ‘All I wanted was to be straight so my parents could be happy. They never, never, never knew.’ “Children protect their parents, Mr. Sendak said. It was like the time he had a heart attack at 39. His mother was dying from cancer in the hospital, and he decided to keep the news to himself, something he now regrets. “A gay artist in New York is not exactly uncommon, but Mr. Sendak said that the idea of a gay man writing children’s books would have hurt his career when he was in his 20s and 30s.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz1uI4wYNom The Empty Closet comments: Speaking of that, most coverage of Sendak’s passing, including the article in the New York Times, did not mention his gay identity.

Republican filibuster blocks vote, kills Colorado civil unions In a riotous scene late on May 8, Colorado’s GOP filibustered in order to prevent the civil unions bill from coming to a vote on the House floor. The legislative session ended for the year without the bill being heard. A bill to allow same-sex couples to form civil unions died on the calendar, taking down more than 30 other measures with it in a dramatic game of political chicken in which no one would blink. When Republican Speaker Frank McNulty acknowledged there was an impasse and abruptly ended his news conference on the House floor, Coloradans watching in the gallery started chanting: “Shame on you! Shame on you!” The GOP-controlled Judiciary Committee for the second year in a row lobbied McNulty and House Majority Leader Amy Stephens to use every procedure to kill Senate Bill 2. In the process of making sure civil unions died on the calendar, a slew of other bills became casualties too. Among the bills ensnared in the tug-of-war in the House: $20 million worth of water projects statewide and a bill that sets a standard for driving while stoned. Throughout the evening, Gov. John Hickenlooper, a Democrat and a supporter of gay rights, worked with legislative leaders to try to break the impasse, briefly meeting with McNulty outside the speaker’s office. At another point, Republican Mark Waller of Colorado Springs and Democrat Mark Ferrandino held dueling news conferences on the House floor. UPDATE: Even though the governor called a special session in the attempt to get Colorado’s civil unions bill a proper hearing, the GOP has successfully maneuvered to kill it without a vote. GOP House Speaker Frank McNulty has assigned the civil unions bill to the House State Affairs Committee, where it likely lacks the votes needed to pass and is expected to die. (JoeMyGod.com)

UN Human Rights chief: end homophobia now UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Navi Pillay, who in December directed world governments to end abuse based on sexual orientation and curtail criminalization of homosexuality, talked about the human cost of homophobia and transphobia in a powerful new video released the first week in May. Says Pillay: “All over the world, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of all ages face harassment and discrimination — at work, at home, at school and in many other everyday situations. “In many countries, national laws are skewed against them. In some 76 States, having a partner of the same sex is a criminal offense. People are being arrested, singled out for physical attack, being tortured, even killed – just for being in a loving relationship. “When I raise these issues, some complain that I’m pushing for ‘new rights’ or ‘special rights’ for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. But there is nothing new or special about the right to life and security of person, the right to freedom from discrimination. These and other rights are universal… enshrined in international law but denied to many of our fellow human beings simply because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. “We cannot let these abuses stand. We know what needs to be done. States must repeal discriminatory laws and ban discriminatory practices: punish violence and hatred… not love. “And we should all challenge homophobic attitudes. The best antidote is education – for children and adults alike. Reach out. Talk. Learn. And help make our world safer and better for everyone. “This is an historic moment: more and more States recognize the need for

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet action and are speaking up – including here at the United Nations. With your help and the support of millions of people who believe in universal human rights, we will secure equal rights for every last one of us.” Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz1uO1Y4f6h

San Diego names street after Harvey Milk On May 8, the San Diego City Council unanimously voted to give final approval to rename a street after LGBT civil rights hero Harvey Milk. San Diego now becomes the first city in the country to have a street named for LGBT martyr Milk. “A year ago, a group of community leaders came together around the notion the time had come to honor an LGBT civil rights leader in San Diego the same way we have given honor to other civil

rights leaders, such as Cesar Chavez and Martin Luther King Jr.,” said Dwayne Crenshaw, San Diego LGBT Pride Executive Director. “Today marks a symbolic and significant moment in the movement forward towards the American value of equality.” A celebratory unveiling of the new street took place on Harvey Milk’s birthday, May 22. Harvey served as a member of the United States Navy, including time served in San Diego as a diving instructor. His ground breaking election in 1978 as one of the world’s first openly gay elected officials -- and its most visible one -symbolized the freedom to live life in full authenticity to millions of LGBT women and men around the world. Harvey served less than a year in public office before his assassination, but his life profoundly changed a city, state, nation and global community. His courage, passion and sense of justice moved the nation and stirred the very core of an oppressed community, bringing forward new hope and a new vision of freedom.

NAACP supports marriage equality On May 19, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People released a resolution supporting marriage equality. At a meeting of the 103-year old civil rights group’s board of directors, the organization voted to support marriage equality as a continuation of its historic commitment to equal protection under the law. “The mission of the NAACP has always been to ensure political, social and economic equality of all people,” said Roslyn M. Brock, Chairman of the Board of Directors of the NAACP. “We have and will oppose efforts to codify discrimination into law.” “Civil marriage is a civil right and a

matter of civil law. The NAACP’s support for marriage equality is deeply rooted in the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States Constitution and equal protection of all people,” said Benjamin Todd Jealous, President and CEO of the NAACP. “The well-funded right wing organizations who are attempting to split our communities are no friend to civil rights, and they will not succeed.” The NAACP has addressed civil rights with regard to marriage since Loving v. Virginia declared anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional in 1967. In recent years, the NAACP has taken public positions against state and federal efforts to ban the rights and privileges for LGBT citizens, including strong opposition to Proposition 8 in California, the Defense of Marriage Act, and most recently, North Carolina’s Amendment 1, which changed the state constitution to prohibit same sex marriage, civil unions, etc.

R.I. governor orders marriage recognition Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chafee has ordered all state agencies to officially recognize same-sex marriages legally performed in other jurisdictions. The executive order is expected to have many real-world implications. Same-sex spouses of state employees and anyone covered by an insurance company regulated in Rhode Island will be entitled to health and life insurance benefits, gay rights advocates say. Both partners in a same-sex couple will be able to list their names as parents on a child’s birth certificate, and same-sex couples will be entitled to sales tax exemptions on the transfer of property including vehicles. One couple who attended the signing ceremony — married in neighboring Massachusetts — described their disappointment of not being able to list both their names on their son’s birth certificate. “For our next child, we won’t have to go

13 through the same kind of turmoil,” Martha Holt Castle said. Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese issued the following statement in response to Governor Chafee’s action: “Governor Chafee is a long-time advocate for marriage equality in the Ocean State, and we applaud his continued leadership on this issue. President Obama delivered a powerful message last week that all couples are entitled to dignity, respect, and protection – both in the eyes of society and under the law. This is a historic step forward for LGBT families in Rhode Island, who will now have access to a range of benefits and protections that they have previously been denied. Governor Chafee is taking definitive action to strengthen Rhode Island families, and we encourage state leaders across the country to follow his lead.” The Rhode Island Attorney General issued an advisory opinion in 2007 declaring that the state can recognize out-of-jurisdiction marriages. However, the Rhode Island Supreme Court later refused to grant a divorce to a same-sex couple legally married in Massachusetts. This led to confusion over how the state treats same-sex couples legally married out of jurisdiction. Governor Chafee’s action clears up that confusion and provides a clear directive to the state’s agencies.

Kiev police refuse to protect Pride event Ukrainian gay activist Svyatoslav Shereme was one of two men brutally beaten by hooligans after the cancellation of a pride event in Kiev. Gay Star News provides some more information: Police advised Pride organizers to abandon the march through the center of Kiev just 30 minutes before it was due to start, claiming 500 ultra-right football hooligans were en route to the rally point (Newsfronts continue page 14)

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At America’s military academies, the first DADT-less year draws to a close: For the first time, gay students at the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis were able to take a same-sex date to the academy’s Ring Dance for third-year midshipmen. The U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colo., officially recognized a club for gay students this month. And gay cadets at the U.S. Military Acad-

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(Kiev continued from page 13) with the intention of preventing the event from going ahead. The two activists were beaten up and tear gassed by a dozen youths in central Kiev. Max Tucker, Ukraine campaigner at Amnesty International, said, “It has been clear from the start that the Kiev police department did not want this march to go ahead. “Their reluctance to commit to the event and to put adequate security measures in place to protect demonstrators left organizers fearing for their safety.” Tucker said that police told organizers they would not put their officers in danger to protect LGBT activists. He also lamented potential bills that would essentially ban homosexuality, including the broadcasting or publication of anything even remotely gay-related. Similar legislation has been passed in St. Petersburg. “Passing this bill would fly in the face of Ukraine’s international obligations to protect the right to freedom of expression and prohibit discrimination,” he said, perhaps too hopeful that Ukrainian authorities feels any obligation of the sort.

emy in West Point, N.Y., are relieved they no longer have to worry about revealing their sexuality. Several gay students from the nation’s major military academies said the September repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” an 18-year-old legal provision under which gays could serve as long as they didn’t openly acknowledge their sexual orientation, meant significant change. “For the most part, it allows us to be a complete person, as opposed to compartmentalizing our lives into different types of boxes,” said newly commissioned Air Force 2nd Lt. Dan Dwyer, who graduated from the Air Force Academy on May 16. West Point held its graduation May 26, and the Naval Academy on May 29. Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz1wAqdkK00 ■

national and international

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

introducing a new feature

Businesses in the Community Todd L. Perkins Designs By Susan Jordan Todd L. Perkins Designs specializes in decorating, fabrics, area rugs, blinds and window treatments. Todd Perkins founded his business in 2003 and has prospered. He had been doing interior design for 18 years, with R.C. Shaheen and Sherwin Douglas, before deciding to go on his own. Todd, who is familiar to many in the community as an 18-year member of the Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus, says, “The challenge is having a customer base. I was already in the business and was supported by previous customers and also by vendor sales representatives, like Hunter-Douglas Blinds, Carole Fabrics and Shaw Rugs. If you have that base, you can do it. “Everything is by referral. You succeed by being consistent and getting back to people. Customer service is key – if you don’t have that, you can forget it…. If one person has a good experience, they will pass that along.” Some customers know exactly what they want, but most simply tell Todd to go ahead and do his thing. He gets his ideas from the space he is given to work with. He says, “I have my tile guy, my floor guy, painters like Colors & Colors. When I get a client, I know who to call. I go shopping with people, to furniture stores, galleries, framing shops. But most of the time people just say to do what I think

Todd Perkins

would be best…. I pick the wood for the ceiling, the cabinetry, everything. It’s amazing that people rely on me and trust that it will come out fine.” A job Todd finished recently in Sodus is one of his favorites since he felt it came out perfectly. “From the handles on the cabinets to the grout on the floor – they trusted me,” he said. “When we started there was nothing there. We started picking things out last October, and it just got done. And they love it.” Examples of Todd’s work include Pan-

dari’s Restaurant in Corn Hill and Cornell University’s new music wing, for which Todd did all the blinds. “That was a referral from Sedgwick Design,” he said. “A lot of designers hire other designers to work with them and do certain specialties.” Todd often works outside the Rochester area. “A customer flew me to Beaufort, S.C. to do their draperies. Another client moved from Pittsford to Memphis and flew me there – then they moved to West Palm Beach and flew me there to design the new home they built.” What is the difference between a designer and a decorator? Todd said, “A designer is somebody who has a degree, while a decorator doesn’t and has more hands-on experience. I think you learn more, like how to deal with customers and problem solving, from being out in the workforce.” Many people are afraid to take the leap into running their own business, with all the responsibilities for payroll, taxes, etc. and the loss of a secure paycheck. “If you

15 have a small business,” Todd said, “you know how to make ends meet and can do things for less expense. Plus you can be creative. And you can focus on the customer more if you are an independent. Right now I’m doing Webster Eye Care – and they get me, not my assistant!” More tips: “Stay ahead of the customer – don’t let the customer get ahead of you! When they say they want something and you have a different idea, say so – and tell them why.” And when starting a new business of any kind, Todd says, “Get your feet wet first. Work in the line of business first and get knowledge – knowledge is key. Always make a business plan and always have six months’ reserve in the bank in advance. You want to have all your ducks in a row. A lot of people can’t live without the security of a monthly paycheck – but you have to step outside that comfort zone. So prepare yourself carefully – and then take the risk.” www.toddlperkinsdesigns.com ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Rochester

Guide

Todd Plank, Tom Ferrarese are Grand Marshals threshold!) will help us reach that tipping point, so that by the time a case reaches the Supreme Court it will have no choice but to declare all DOMAs (federal and state) unconstitutional. Why do we still need Pride celebrations in 2012? TF: Pride continues to provide a visual affirmation of our community. Celebrating who we are through Pride allows people to come together, share our lives, Todd Plank

Tom Ferrarese

By Susan Jordan Todd Plank has been chosen Grand Marshal for Pride 2012, and Tom Ferrarese is Honorary Grand Marshal. Congratulations to both! Todd, formerly a Gay Alliance staff member and a prominent marriage equality activist with Equality Rochester, Marriage Equality NY and other groups, is recognized for his years of service to LGBT community members and for his part in winning marriage rights in New York State. Tom Ferrarese, Democratic Election Commissioner, is a former Gay Alliance Board President and a dedicated, longtime community activist. How did you feel when you had been chosen as an Honorary Grand Marshal? Tom Ferrarese: I was surprised, honored and appreciative. I was surprised because I wasn’t even thinking about Pride yet this year. When Michael (Hardy) called for the committee, I had to think a minute to realize what he was talking about. I was honored because there are many people the committee could have chosen who have given so much to support and advocate for our community. Finally I was appreciative because it means people value the work I’ve done and continue to do. Todd Plank: I was excited and honored to be nominated as the Grand Marshal for Rochester Pride 2012. I’ve got big shoes to fill considering that last year’s Grand Marshals were Anne Tischer and Bess Watts! I have had the privilege of working for the Gay Alliance, the Genesee Valley Chapter of the NYCLU and the Empire State Pride Agenda and volunteering with Marriage Equality New York and Equality Rochester. For over a decade now I have been working shoulder to shoulder with the most amazing people, agencies and organizations. I’m proud to count all of these folks as part of my “family” and humbled to be chosen by them to receive this special honor. What do you see as the most pressing issues for the LGBT community today, in Rochester or nationally? TF: We are very fortunate that Rochester in general is a community that has integrated the LGBT community into many aspects of life here. This is evident by the fact that over 20 years ago we had the first openly gay elected official in New York

State and today we have the only openly gay upstate member of the State Legislature. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have some of the same problems that other less accepting communities have. Given the “evolving” views, it is disturbing that we still experience bullying in our schools and lose kids to suicide, a number of whom we will never hear about. I think nationally we are seeing such a backlash against the successes that we have experienced that we will need to continue to fight the endless battles against discrimination for quite some time to come. TP: That’s a big question! We all have our gay agendas! My answer is informed by my past two years of education at The College at Brockport. I recently earned my BSW with a minor in aging studies. The research I have done reveals that many folks who are a part of the mature (words like senior, old and elderly are becoming taboo in the field of aging!) lesbian and gay cohort continue to fear discrimination and harassment from health and human service providers. I recently completed two internships in Lifespan, and I can testify to the good work being done within the agency to educate management and staff about the unique issues facing aging LGBTs and their caregivers. I’m now working at Catholic Family Center (CFC) as a case manager in their EISEP (Expanded In-home Services for the Elderly Program). This agency has also demonstrated a commitment to diversity in its service delivery; in fact, two members of CFC serve on the Gay Alliance’s SAGE Advisory Board. On a national level there are two big policy issues that we have to change: defeating DOMA and passing a fully inclusive nondiscrimination act, not only in employment, but in all aspects of daily living. It was great to have our country’s President and Vice-President come out in support of marriage for same-sex couples; however, I think that it will continue to be a slow process if we have to wait on the federal government for marriage equality. It’s deeply disturbing to me that 30 states have passed constitutional amendments banning recognition of same-sex couples. My hope is that the increasing acceptance of gays and lesbians across the country (we’ve crossed the 50 percent

gain strength from our unity and stand proud for equality. TP: I think that it will always be important for the LGBTQ community to have opportunities to celebrate the special bond that we share. It’s also vital that we continue to create public spaces to proudly display our colors so that individuals of every age, ethnicity, income and gender can see reflections of themselves in our Pride parades and festivals. There

are still folks who are afraid to come out, or feel that they are not represented in the gay mainstream media and organizations -- which continue to focus on wealthy/middleclass white gay men and lesbians -- and therefore don’t think that they belong. Pride is one of those rare occasions when we have the chance to break down barriers within the LGBT community and bring the entire tribe together. ■

Jessica Sutta is Pride Festival headliner

(Former) Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta will be performing her #1 Billboard dance hit “Show Me,” as well as your favorite PCD hits at the Pride Festival. Jessica is stopping here in Rochester after headlining LA and Toronto Pride. She was here in March and holds lots of love for Rochester!

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Gay Alliance Pride Event at JCC Time to be announced. 1200 Edgewood Ave.

City Hall Rainbow Flag Raising Friday, July 6 • 4-5pm The Rainbow Flag Raising event is held in the atrium of the beautiful Rochester City Hall. This is a great opportunity for everyone to help make LGBT Pride an important part of our city. Joining us this year are the Rochester Women’s Community Chorus for a few songs, your local elected leaders, and RPD Chief Sheppard. This program will have ASL interpretation provided. Super Sassy in the South Wedge Friday, July 6 • 5-9pm Following the flag raising at City Hall, grab your friends and head to the South Wedge. Merchants in the South Wedge will be offering Pride Specials to community members on this evening, so walk the streets of the newest Gayborhood in Rochester and see what Super Sassy fun awaits. Participating merchants include Kamikaze Tattoo - tattooing, Echo tone Music - 10% off new goods, Boulder Coffee - Special Patio Bar & DJ plus $1 medium size coffee, Full Moon Vista Bike and Sport - Free gift with purchase, Tap & Mallet - $2 off seasonal draft beers, John’s Tex Mex $1.50 empanadas & $1.50 Tecate, and Equal=Grounds - Buy 1 Beverage/Food/ Ice Cream, get a second Beverage/Food/Ice Cream of equal or lesser value for half price. If desired, please request ASL interpreting by contacting DeafAccess@GayAlliance.org before July 1, 2012. Pride Day at Seabreeze Saturday July 7 • 11am-10pm Since 1879, Seabreeze has been Rochester’s favorite Amusement Park, located within view of Lake Ontario, near the north end of Culver Road. Seabreeze is the 4th oldest amusement park in the nation. The Jack Rabbit will give you a jolt, the Tilt–a–Whirl will spin you right ‘round baby and the Water Park will cool you off… Seabreeze is always a good time for people of all ages. No formal meeting area so grab your friends and wear “Red and be seen!” Pride Tea Party Sunday, July 8 • Details coming soon Pride Youth Dance & Drag Pageant Monday, July 9 • 5-9pm The annual Youth Pride Dance and Drag Pageant will be held at TILT Nightclub, located at 444 Central Avenue in Rochester. $5 admission includes pizza and two free soda tickets (Additional $0.75/ea). This event is open to all LGBTQ youth ages 13-23. Straight allies are welcome. This is an alcohol and drug free event. If desired, please request ASL interpreting by contacting DeafAccess@GayAlliance.org before July 1. Lambda Project Monday, July 9 • 7:30pm Join Christ Church for the Lambda Project located downtown Rochester, 141 East Ave., at 7:30pm. Ticket price is $7 for adults and $5 for seniors and students. Proceeds will be donated to the Lambda Project and Rochester Pride. This is a series of dramatic readings about the lives of several LGBT folks ranging in age from young to elderly. Production features references to Drag Queens, Growing Up Gay, Transgender issues, Religion and Sexuality, and other GLBTIQ issues.

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

Rochester Pride Events Pride Movie Night and Refreshments Tuesday, July 10 • 7-9pm For the ninth year Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. (at East Ave.), hosts a Pride movie night in the Johnston Hall. Ma Vie en Rose (“My Life in Pink”) is a 1997 Belgian film and is the story of Ludovic, a little girl born in a little boy’s body. For him, nothing is more natural than to change his gender. As a hopeful and sensitive child, he truly believes that a miracle is going to happen. He will be a girl, no doubt about it, and he’s in love with… The film is 88 minutes and is a free event to the public. The Tuesday movie night has become a popular event during the annual Rochester Pride Week. Presented in French with English Subtitles. The Good, The Bad and The Funny Wednesday, July 11 Announcing the first Trans* specific event for Rochester Pride! An open story event at Equal Grounds Coffee Shop, 750 South Ave. 7pm until our voices get tired or they close the shop. Maur Delany, Noah Wagoner, Jason Robert Ballard and Shauna O’Toole will share some of their adventures transitioning. More importantly, they will be moderating an Open Mic for anyone who is Transgender / Transsexual / Gender Variant (Trans*) to share their own stories. Everyone is welcome to attend. This is a great opportunity for us in the Trans* community to share who we are in a safe and welcoming environment among your Brothers and Sisters! It is liberating and empowering – whether you are speaking or in the audience identifying with the stories. Come! We want to hear and celebrate your journey! The Good. The Bad. The Funny. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking Thursday July 12 • 5:30-7:30pm The Pride Edition of Second Thursday will be at Boulder Coffee and Napa Wood Fired Pizzeria at 100 Alexander St on the shared Patio. Pride giveaways and 50/50 raffle to support Pride 2012. No cover, just good conversation.

2012 Rochester Pride Weekend Kickoff Friday July 13 • 7-10pm The 2012 Pride Weekend Kickoff Party will be held at The Holiday Inn Airport located at 911 Brooks Ave., Rochester, 14624 (Brooks Avenue and I-390). No entry fee, cash bar, food, and prizes. Join us for the Sashing of the 2012 Grand Marshal and Honorary Marshal along with a big thank you for what they have done for the Rochester community. If desired, please request ASL interpreting by contacting DeafAccess@ GayAlliance.org before July 1.

ImageOUT’s Summer Mayhem Thursday July 12 ImageOUT’s Pride Week feature, MADAME X, 7:30pm, will be held at the Cinema Cinema Theatre, 957 South Clinton Avenue 14620. To request interpreting services contact the ImageOut by July 1. Use the relay service, 1-800-662-1220 or email office@imageout.org. This event is wheelchair accessible.

2012 Rochester Pride Parade Saturday, July 14 • 3:30-5pm (Line-up 2:30-3:30pm) Join the crowds lining the streets of Park Ave. and Goodman for Rochester’s annual Pride Parade. There will be bands, floats, drag Kings & Queens, motorcycle riders, politicians and of course the annual protesters. Parade steps-off at 3:30pm from the corner of Park Avenue and Brunswick.

2012 Rochester Pride Festival Saturday, July 14, 4:30-9:30pm Immediately following the Parade the annual Pride Festival will be held behind the Auditorium Theater on College Avenue. There will be food and drink (both soft and adult beverages) vendors and entertainment. This year’s stage lineup is more than impressive -- our headliner is former Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta! She stops in Rochester after headlining at LA and Toronto Pride. Avenue Q and your favorite Rochester & Upstate NY Queens will also be on the stage. More is still being planned. The DJs will mix the music to dance the night away. Liquor service will be enclosed in the large tent per new NYS Liquor Laws. ASL Interpretation of the stage will be provided. Tickets are $5 in advance, and $8 at the gate. ($5 for students with an I.D. at gate). 2012 Rochester Pride Picnic Sunday, July 15 • 1-7pm A great way to relax after the Pride parties of Saturday– The annual Rochester Pride Picnic will again be held in the beautiful Genesee Valley Park. Visit the food and merchandise vendors, antique cars, dog show, join in on the picnic site contest, and of course, dancing in the Roundhouse. Entry fee includes entry into the raffle to win a Lottery Basket. Tickets are $10.00 in advance, $15.00 at the gate, ($5.00 for students with an I.D. at gate) If desired, please request ASL interpreting by contacting DeafAccess@ GayAlliance.org before July 1. Picnic Entrance Two and much of the park has sidewalks making many of the activities accessible. ■

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

What do you get when 140 Alex Bar & Grill and Rochester Pride come together?

The Committee for Rochester PRIDE 2012 is happy to announce our Headquarter Hotel: The Holiday Inn Airport, 911 Brooks Ave., Rochester, NY 14624. The Holiday Inn Airport is offering a $99 per night rate! Call 585-328-6000 to make reservations. They have a huge indoor pool, great gym, awesome Italian restaurant and one of the most popular bars on the south side of the city! Visit www.hirochesterairport.com and www.VisitRochester.com and stay a couple days with us!

Join us for the First Annual Pride Palooza hosted by 140 Alex An Outdoor Event in the 140 Alex Parking Lot June 9 from 2 to 8pm The first-time-ever Pride Dunk Booth (and you won’t believe who is getting in there!) The Bud Beer Truck by Lake Beverage, DJ Len and DJ Blake keep the music going, join the Barbie Drag Contest, have a Tarot Card reading, Spin a Prize Wheel, play games like Putt-Putt golf and Kan Jam, have your photo done with Fabulous accessories, raffle prizes, and when you’re hungry, Scott and Ken of Street Meet will be there to cook for you!

$5 entry fee and this event is 18 and older Proceeds are for Pride 2012

The Gay Alliance Seeks Pride Volunteers If you can help out with two hours of volunteering at any Pride event, please go to www.gayalliance.org/pride/volunteer Fill out the form. That’s all there is to it! Thank you.

Allies welcome!

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On

Shoulders to Stand On: Gay Alliance places historical records in permanent repositories By Evelyn Bailey The Archival and Historical Preservation Initiative of the Shoulders To Stand On Program of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley will place a minimum of six collections in permanent repositories to document and preserve the LGBT history of Rochester. For the past three years, the Gay Alliance has received grants from the Documentary Heritage Program of the NYS Archives. It has identified over 260 LGBT organizations, agencies, groups, and indi-

viduals that have been or continue to be in existence over the past 42 years. 100 of these organizations, agencies, groups and individuals with records, and/or memorabilia have been contacted and located. A Finding Aide has been created to assist in researching and accessing these records. The Gay Alliance has surveyed over 50 cubic feet of records, and will place a minimum of six collections in permanent repositories. Approximately 30 cubic feet of Gay Alliance records will be placed at the Goodstein Sexuality Archives at Cornell University where the first 10 years of Gay Alliance records are already preserved. You can access the Finding Aide for this collection at http:// rmc.library.cornell.edu/ead/htmldocs/ RMM07560.html Other collections to be placed in permanent repositories are: Rochester RAMS collection in the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago, Illinois; Gay Liberation Front collection in the University of Rochester’s Rare Books and Manuscripts Archives; Gay Brotherhood of Rochester Collection, and Gay Alliance Collection in the Human Sexuality Archives at Cornell University; Helping People With Aids Collection and The Empty Closet Collection in the Smithsonian Museum of American History Archives in Washington, DC; individual collections containing ImageOut records, Gay Alliance memorabilia and records, and NYS National Gay Lesbian Task Force records will also be placed in permanent repositories. Through the Gay Alliance’s efforts to document and preserve our history, the record of work done by these groups and their impact on Rochester and the Gene-

see Valley Region will survive as a part of New York State’s rich cultural, political, social and economic history. The societal focus on inclusiveness has increased the LGBT Community’s need to maintain its own identity by documenting and preserving historical records that give definition to LGBT community through its leadership in the areas of health, civil rights, social justice, and economic growth improving the quality of life for all Rochestarians. We can all take pride in our community’s accomplishments. Our documented history will give direction and focus to future LGBT Rochestarians as we continue to struggle for equality and justice for all of our brothers and sisters. The Gay Alliance believes this Documentation Project will continue to give our community the resources to document its history, providing credibility as to its very existence. The third year of this grant process will officially end on June 30, 2012. Shoulders To Stand On and the Gay Alliance Library and Archives are committed to continuing this important work that has begun. ■

History Corner June 2012: Pride Firsts 2012 is another year of firsts for Gay Pride events. Here are just a few: March 27, 2012: The Associated Press reported the nation’s oldest private military academy, Norwich University, hosted events the week of March 26, 2012 for the first time about bullying and HIV protection, and even held a “queer prom,” where same-sex partners were welcome. May 19-21, 2012: For the first time, a public Pride event was organized in Kiev, the capital city of Ukraine. (See page 14) May 19 & 20, 2012: Long Beach California Pride - Pioneering rapper/actress Queen Latifah (who has just come out) hosted her first headlining LGBT performance in Long Beach, Calif. August 11, 2012: Milton Keynes, not far from London, England will host its first Gay Pride. February 29, 2012: For the first time, St. Petersburg, Russia officially bans Gay Pride events, LGBT organizations, and any “promotion” of homosexuality. June 2, 2012: For the first time, Sheffield, England will have a Pride Parade.

The first Shoulders To Stand On newsletter is out! Shoulders to Stand On has published its first newsletter updating the community on its progress in fundraising, interviewing, filming, preserving and archiving Rochester’s LGBT history. You can read it for yourself on our Shoulders to Stand On blog at: http://www.shoulderstostandonblog.org/

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up jitters By Eric Bellmann Daniel Craig seems a bit distracted and I’m finding that a little disconcerting. We’ve been lolling around in bed, my bed actually, for a longish time. Right now he is just kind of staring at the ceiling with a glazed expression. I’m feeling a bit sheepish, because as it turns out, his body is really nice. For ages I’ve been telling everyone that no man could be that lean, that buffed, who was also tall. After every movie in which he appears bare chested or even more exposed, I tell people Daniel Craig can only be five foot two, the same height as Judy Garland. Smaller people, people who are compact photograph well. Everyone knows by now that Tom Cruise is very short. I was wrong. Danny, I call him that, is big and buffed, but also right now maybe bored. I’m worried his heart isn’t in this. I get the feeling we’re just kind of inhabiting the same space and I’m making an effort to feel that this is good enough. I have to be content. I have to rouse an attitude of gratitude. Guys like Daniel, Dan, Dear Danny don’t show up in my bed all that often. Like rarely. OK, never. So I am grateful. I’ll make the best of things. For openers I’m grateful to realize I was wrong about his stature. On close inspection his eyes really are wonderfully blue, icy blue. And even though he has that go-away, you-can’t-touch-me aura on the big screen, up close, let me tell you, you can touch him all you want. And that’s interesting. He really is smooth skinned. I’d expected some kind of stubble, like he’s shaved all over. Nope, smooth as can be. Maybe waxing. I’m running my hands pretty much everywhere and it’s smooth, smooth, oops, there’s a bump, well, a rise actually. Maybe not so bored, after all. Oh, Danny, my dreamboat! Also I’m grateful because sex dreams don’t come along very often. When they do you can only marvel at the intricacies of the subconscious, the wonders of one’s mind that can foster guilt and shame but can also come through now and then with a knockout like this. Not hard then to make the best of things. So, bored or just being coy (he is used to a lot of attention after all), magnetic, elusive, sexy Daniel Craig is in my bed. I am not for one second going to take my hands off him. I’m having pre-travel jitters. Alas, that’s the genesis for this frolic. My mind juices up for weeks before a trip. This is a big one, too. First time back to Istanbul in maybe ten years. I’m going to visit a married couple, two former students – I went to their wedding ten years ago, now they have two sons, two and five. Last year they came to New York City for a week and asked me to meet them, show them around and that was a lot of fun. The High Line, Chelsea galleries, a chic neighborhood restaurant with really good food. Then they leaned on me, “You have to come back! So many changes. An underground subway! A new modern art museum! Istanbul has become cosmopolitan, modern. You must visit us.” I’d come to the point where I found my excuses for not traveling overseas fairly tiresome. One moment, I’d say, “ I must go back before I am too old and creaky to do it.” The next minute I’d think about the horrors of airports and that would

be the end of that. Ultimately it became a case of do it or shut up. So I decided I would return to Turkey. My strategy in challenging situations is to break whatever looms as daunting into smaller pieces. I went to a travel agent. Yes, they still exist. I got information I needed about flights, better days of the week to depart, etc. from a sympathetic person. Then I wrote the check. The die had been cast. Next: go online to find a place to stay. Whoa! Istanbul is way expensive. If I have to shell out bigger bucks, then I want a place where I can smoke. That and doing needlepoint is how I’ll spend my evenings. No more the nocturnal wanderer. My era as a sex tourist is history. Somehow, unwittingly, I’ve become phobic about traveling. Can I handle the airport experience: security checks, the prospect of cancellations or delayed departures, noisy children, the temptation of crappy food, beeping shuttle carts, etc.? All of it undermines my need for reliability, control. I’m fine once the airplane door slams shut. It’s the anticipation that unnerves me. My friends send me web sites of several boutique hotels. Very modern. So modern in fact that smoking is forbidden. Ah, but the web, the web, that marvelous tool. Turns out there’s a web site for “Smoking permitted hotels in Istanbul”. There’s a website for everything. Lo and behold, I find a listing for the very hotel I used to stay at eons ago. Loved the place. Emails bounce through the ether and bingo I am booked into a familiar place in a safe neighborhood at unfamiliar rates. The prospect of a familiar place encourages me, gives me a modest feeling of control, reliability. Those seem to be the main hurdles: airplane and hotel. Ha! Now packing. I am torn between not wanting to haul much crap and wanting the perfect outfit for every occasion. That is impossible. My wee recessive un-gay gene asserts itself and I opt for less. I am known for repacking an average of three times before a week’s holiday in New York. Besides sex dreams and wardrobe anxiety, the other pre-travel phenomenon is of course, diarrhea. Which I have. The alternative, constipation, is worse. At least no one can tell me, to my face, I’m full of shit. Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Cleaning My Closet Stories in my gardens By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger On the whole, I do not like to kill. Sometimes slaughter is selfdefense. I absolutely must obliterate wasps and yellow jackets. If one were to sting me, my body would immediately swell, and I would experience increasingly horrendous heat and relentless pain. So far, the dastardly flying swords have not sent me into anaphylactic shock. Sometimes murder is mandatory. Like the slimy grubs I unearth while digging plant holes. I know they are created by a power way greater than myself. But really? They are disgusting slimy blobs. At least they do not bite. On the other hand, wonderful worms… Living Composters. Economic Marvels… one year, Canada exported 370 million earthworms to the States for $13

million. Then the USA sold the worms for $54 million. Prolific Hermaphrodites… they can snuggle up to any passing worm and rapidly populate one acre with 53,000 relatives. These days when I head to the gardens, adorned with my sun-shield hat, my hand-protecting gloves, my anti-insectbite, full-body netting, I try to save all my good neighbor-worms from harm. I do worry about their wellbeing. Even in two biology courses, approximately five decades ago, we never discussed earthworm feelings. But still. Worms are hard working, living creatures who deserve humane treatment. Thus, as I dig, I gently relocate them, but I do wonder if they will miss their family. It does make me sad when they fall victim to my trowel and my planting plans… innocent bystanders in the wrong pile at the wrong time. However, when I slice one into two, I can celebrate their Regeneration Ability. But when I entirely smush an unfortunate worm, accidentally and regrettably, I intone “thank you for your life.” It seems the least I can do. This year’s gardening season started with quite an assortment of weather surprises. A Spring interspersed with touches of Summer and Winter. Yet my lovely flowers did come and go, albeit at strange times. I did not need to complain. Or compare. I have no memory of last year’s seasons. My brain has no storage space allotted to weather reports of days gone by. I only mention the unusual pattern because it was thoroughly discussed among my physical therapy companions. And in the grocery line, where Grumblers blamed Rochester for its lack of perfection. I love seasonal springings forth, up, and out. Perennials faithfully offering their colors. Tree buds exploding into leafness when I turn away for just a second. Spring is a glorious time to play in the dirt, to smell its dampness, its richness. Again, not to whine… rather to note… my adulterated body now has playtime limits. One acre is way more than I can maintain on my own. Forever after. Clearly it is time to listen to the advice I have given my elder and elderly sister, “Let your money do the work.” It is amazing how fast garden Spring Cleaning can be completed when there are six hands working…. especially when four of those hands belong to two young men. Helpers who swiftly dispersed three yards of topsoil and ten of mulch… shoveled into and out of the wheelbarrow, pushed, lifted, dumped, and then, with their strong hands and able knees, precisely spread. My two hands basically supplied one finger I used to do my share of the work… “Over there,” and I pointed. When it was time to add vibrant annuals, I used several newly learned techniques. “Over there,” said my finger… and Angel and Caesar patiently positioned groovy pots on my handmadeby-dd decks and all around the yard, so puppy cannot trample. Next Angel’s back assumed the responsibility of filling all those containers with miracle-please-grow and trendy mushroom compost. All I had to do was move my lightweight plastic stool into old-lady-garden position in front of the waiting Pot Gardens. And instead of a ten hour when-Iwas-young work day, I acquiesced to my physical therapist’s admonitions, working a measly half-hour session with an hour rest before I embarked on two more rounds of modified gardening. When I heard daffodil trumpets heralding Spring, I quietly paid tribute to my Gardening Family... mommy/Betty, daddy/Cecil; Grandparents Olive, Carlyle; aunts Lynne, Ruth, Thelma; uncle Bob; sister Leslie, brother Skip. Surfacing with the crocuses, gratitude for their gift of gardening filled my heart. A gift that keeps those Garden Teachers in my present. Lilies of the Valley in my backyard produce a long-ago picture of a glass vase, stuffed with those sweet smelling bells, which my mother lovingly placed on the table next to daddy’s maroon chair. And

the wild violets splashing purple in my rock garden make a photo of mommy squatting by the big blue spruce, picking a bunch of violets for her bedroom. In my old days, Mommy planted four o’clocks in the narrow space between our sidewalk and house. They grew into bushy plants loaded with bright pink, red and yellow flowers, some streaked, others mottled. They softened the unsightly grays of the foundation and sidewalk. In the fall, on youthful knees, I collected their peasized black seeds, dropped them into a white envelope for the next year’s gardens. Such a time, my mother fell in love with Impatiens, fell in love with their delicate petals of tangerine, pulsating orange, lavender, royal purple, white, magenta. While I, just a kid, treasured the pale green pods containing Soaring Seeds. Just a touch of my finger made the pods burst open, the seeds fly, and me laugh. Mommy planted those amazing Impatiens along the fence. I painted that fence, made 15 feet long to separate the front and back yards. My chore: paint the pickets, stringers, and posts a bright white. My results: my parents called me Three Coat Harry… one coat of paint on the fence, one on the ground, and one on every part of the painter’s body. Daddy took a picture. I still have it in my scrapbook. But superior to that shutter-captured memory is the Movie in My Mind. It features my father building that little piece of fence, not because store-bought was costly and inferior, but because handmade was what the men in our family did. Next it shows daddy preparing two narrow gardens. Then a zoom catches mommy on her knees, digging holes, plopping Impatiens next to our shiny white pickets, circa 1958. Even today I can watch my Mind Movie to view our family fence project. In my now days, I always plant a profusion of Impatiens. I just learned the technical term for Soaring Seeds… “explosive dehiscence”… a ballistic form of dispersal that flings seeds from the parent. My gardening mother would have wanted to know that. I wish I could tell her. To all my Garden Teachers, I wish I could say “Thank you for your life.” Thank you for my gardens. MeredithElizabethReiniger@frontiernet.net

Faith Matters Black ministers follow Obama By Rev. Irene Monroe African-American ministers have come out for, and against, Obama’s stance on marriage equality. LGBTQ activists of African descent have pondered what would be the catalyst to rally those African-American Christian ministers to support same-sex marriage and engage the black community in a nationwide discussion. Last month the answer arrived in President Barack Obama’s support of marriage equality. “We are both practicing Christians, and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others, but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule, you know: treat others the way you would want to be treated… I figure the most consistent I can be in being true to those precepts…” Obama told Good Morning America’s news anchor Robin Roberts in an exclusive interview. Just as Obama could no longer shrewdly fence-sit on the issue while winking a stealth nod to LGBTQ voters, black ministers, who quietly professed to be an ally to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet and queer (LGBTQ) community, could no longer stay closeted from their congregations. For these African-American ministers, the liability of Obama losing his 2012 reelection bid is far greater than being publicly outed for not being in lockstep with their homophobic brethren. “The institution of marriage is not under attack because of the President’s words,” Rev. Dr. Otis Moss III of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago told his church on Sunday. Moss is the successor of President Obama’s former and infamous pastor, Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright. But for many African American ministers in opposition to Obama’s stance on marriage equality the institution of marriage, at least within the black family, is under assault, and LGBTQ people further exacerbate the problem. These ministers, some who are allies for LGBTQ civil rights, but draw the line on same-sex marriage, espouse their opposition to same-sex marriage as a prophylactic measure to combat the epidemic level of fatherlessness in black families. In scapegoating the LGBTQ community, these clerics are ignoring the social ills behind black fatherlessness, such as the systematic disenfranchisement of both African-American men and women, high unemployment, high incarceration, and poor education, to name a few. In his homily Moss also stated, “Gay people have never been the enemy, and when we use rhetoric to suggest they are the source of all our problems, we lie on God and cause tears to fall from the eyes of Christ… We must stay in dialogue and not allow our personal emotional prejudices or doctrines to prevent us from clearly seeing the possibility of the beloved community….” Immediately following Obama’s public support for marriage equality, a coalition of African American civil rights leaders signed their names to an OPEN LETTER affirming their solidarity with President Barack Obama on marriage

equality. Signees include Dr. Joseph Lowrey, of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference; Melanie Campbell, of the National Coalition for Black Civic Engagement; Julian Bond, of the NAACP and Rev. Al Sharpton. Since Obama has come out with his support, many in the black community are working tirelessly to counter the barrage of attacks he has received from opposing black clerics. For example, Dr. Pamela R. Lightsey, Associate Dean of Community Life and Lifelong Learning at Boston University School of Theology, has a petition going around the country asking African American clergy and scholars for their support on behalf of the president’s stance to counter the stereotype that “black folks are against homosexuality and gay marriage.” Another petition going around the country aimed at reaching and informing African American voters, particularly black Christian voters, about wedge strategies to divide the community this 2012 election year, is NoWedge2012.com. In stressing that the black religious community is not theologically monolithic, the petition states, “There is a greater diversity in Black America on the cultural and theological understanding of sexual orientation than the media or popular culture give credence (recent polls show that African Americans are equally divided on marriage equality). We acknowledge that it was President Obama’s faith that guided his shift in embracing marriage equality. Our community has the ability to hold different positions and not demonize what is perceived to be the ‘other.’ In light of this complexity Black America should hear from candidates with policy positions that are holistically beneficial for our community as a family.” Right wing organizations like National Organization for Marriage (NOM), which support presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, are actively courting black churches for their strategic 2012 election game plan to drive a wedge between LGBTQ and African American voters. And the black community mustn’t fall prey to that. The thought of the first AfricanAmerican president losing his re-election bid because of homophobic views on marriage equality led by black pastors would be tragic. And their actions now will be remembered through history. Obama is president of the United States and not pastor of the United States. He’s president of all the people, not some of the people. And as African-Americans who have battled for centuries against racial discrimination, we have always relied on our president and his administration to fight for and uphold our civil rights, because too many pastors across the country and throughout the centuries wouldn’t.

Inspiritual Loving My Enemies By Rev. Dr. Sharon Jacobson Most people I know, when they think about their “enemies,” do not talk about loving them. What if we did, though? What if we put our “enemies” on the top of our prayer list and blessed them? Why is it that every faith tradition in the world teaches one to love their “enemies”? Is there even an “enemy?” Iyanla Vanzant once wrote about being grateful for those who got on your last nerve. I could not agree more. I have learned so much from those I had once considered my “enemies.” Not only did they save me thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours in therapy, they helped me to learn that they were nothing more then a mirror reflecting back to me those wounds, which were still in need of healing. It is because those I do not necessarily like have been such a blessing to me

that it is so easy for me to put them on my prayer list along with so many others and bless them. Another powerful lesson about loving my enemies came from Whoopi Goldberg in the movie “Sister Acts.” At the end of the movie, she looks at the man who she had allowed to use and abuse her and who had attempted to kill her and very calmly says, “I have two words for you Vince. Bless you!” When we bless others, especially those who we might consider our “enemies,” we open our hearts to send them love and transformation through their own experience of the Infinite. As we come to see our enemies differently, we may also come to see ourselves differently. We may realize they are nothing more then a mirror in which we observe that which we could otherwise not see about ourselves and are then able to confront some of the lies and illusions we have been telling ourselves. In my own life, I have become aware that it is through my “enemies” that I have been able to evolve in my own spiritual evolution. One of the things I have been able to develop is my mastery of intent and awareness. I have learned to listen to how my mind, body, and soul are feeling in response to what others have said. I have also learned to be aware of what I am feeling, how I am responding and what my intent is in the way I respond to this information, if at all, or how I respond to it, if at all. Am I responding out of love or out of fear? As I practice embracing this mirror, I have come to realize that there really is not an enemy. What I am interacting with is just another manifestation of the Divine. It is as if the Divine is saying, do you see me in this person? In this person? How about in this person? One of the things I have had to do is learn how to release judgment. Not judging is one aspect of being impeccable with one’s word. We may not judge someone verbally; however, all too often we can judge someone in our minds. As we learn to release judgment, our hearts enlarge and we are able to experience the presence of the Creator in ways we could not otherwise imagine. Those things that once got on my nerves now make me laugh. I have come to appreciate the humor of the Divine. All too often, images of God’s humor are lacking. However, the Creator’s humor is present in so many situations. It is present in those people who are sent into our lives to enable us to grow and evolve. It is present in the sacred writings of so many faith traditions. It is even present in the stories we tell children about creation, such as in “And God Created Squash.” So God drew a deep breath and held it. “How about plants?” God thought. And then there appeared on the earth plants. “What shall I call them?” God wondered. “Maybe … wheat and barley and rice and corn.” God took another breath. “How about . . . yellow apples and plums with purple skins and small grapes to turn into rai-

23 sins . . . But I’m getting ahead of myself,” thought God. “And how about something long and green, with little strings along the side? . . . Beans!” God said. “And how about . . . squash?” “I like that name,” God said. “I think I’ll use it again. Acorn squash. Butternut squash. Even zucchini squash. I might have a game and call it squash. Or put my hand on something and press down hard and call that squash.” The same God who can play a name game is the same one who sends our “enemies” into our lives to assist us in our journey, to help us see the Divine in each other, to have a better clarity about ourselves and our lives. When we love our “enemies,” we really love ourselves.

Legally Equal Nevada marriage lawsuit By Marcus Kroll In April, Lambda Legal, a national legal organization devoted to advocating for LGBT rights, assisted by two Nevada law firms as pro bono co-counsel, filed a complaint in the U.S. District Court for the District of Nevada on behalf of eight same-sex couples residing in Nevada. The new lawsuit, Sevcik v. Sandoval, is the first time an LGBT advocacy group has sought marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples in Federal Court. Nevada was strategically chosen as a battleground. In 2000 and 2002, a constitutional amendment was passed by voters limiting marriage to “a male and a female person,” yet Nevada also passed domestic partnership benefits for same-sex couples in 2009, over the veto of then-Governor Jim Gibbons. The passage of the domestic partnership law gave same-sex couples in Nevada essentially the same rights as a married couple, at the state level. However, it denies the right to marriage itself. The Courts apply three levels of scrutiny when reviewing whether or not a law is constitutional – the rational basis test, intermediate scrutiny, and strict scrutiny. Strict scrutiny is applied to reviewing laws that affect groups who fall under a “suspect classification” – which includes race, national origin, religion and alienage. Intermediate scrutiny is applied to laws affecting quasisuspect classes, which include gender and marital status of someone’s parents at birth. The rights of individuals not in a suspect class or quasi-suspect class are reviewed under the rational basis test. In order to pass a strict scrutiny test, the government must demonstrate that the interest behind the law is compelling and crucial, such as national security or protecting the rights of individuals. The law must then be narrowly (Columnists continue on page 24)

24 (Columnists continued from page 23) tailored. To pass an intermediate scrutiny test, the law limiting the rights of a group of individuals must further an important government interest in a way substantially related to that interest. With regard to the rights of individuals affected by their sexual orientation, in 2008 the Supreme Court of California classified sexual orientation as a suspect class under state law, and used the strict scrutiny basis of review to strike down a California statute denying legal recognition of same-sex marriages. Connecticut and Iowa classify sexual orientation as a quasi-suspect class under their respective state laws. The lead plaintiffs, Beverly Sevcik, 73, and Mary Baranovich, 76, of Carson City, Nevada, have been together for more than forty years. They have raised three children and four grandchildren. Their complaint alleges that no legitimate, important, or compelling inter-

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012 est exists to exclude same-sex couples from the institution of marriage. This language challenges the law as unconstitutional no matter what status the plaintiffs are given, or what test they must meet. To put it simply, they say the state cannot demonstrate any good reason to deny same-sex couples the right to marry. Because of the ambiguity in Nevada Law (the State Constitutional Amendment versus the recognition of domestic partnerships) this case presents a unique issue for the Court: whether or not there is a compelling reason or a rational reason to differentiate between marriages and same sex partnerships. This issue will be determined by the Court. Same-sex marriage licenses are currently granted in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, Maryland, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington D.C., and Washington State.

Erik and Jason Libey with Eve Elzenga.

NY Gay Wedding Consultant My Ode To Joy By Eve Elzenga I confess. I love the role I play in helping couples make magical weddings. I’m not talking about a cliché of a wedding but rather an intimate, meaningful, joyous

celebration. I know that my passion and joy are fed by the fact that we can now openly – and legally – declare our love and commitment. This month marks the first anniversary of the passage of gay marriage. What a transforming 12 months it has been. In April I celebrated the wedding of clients Erik and Jason Libey. They had been together for nine years. They felt strongly about making a public declaration of their intent to live happily ever after. We spent months crafting, creating and tinkering with their dreams and ideas. April 21 dawned a typical early spring day in Rochester -- grey and rainy. But inside the Rochester Riverside Convention Center, the glow was tangible. Flowers in rich hues of orange and blue set a contemporary tone and mirrored the grooms’ ties and vests. Their officiant told their individual stories, mentioning courage, commitment, a sense of BIG FUN in their relationship, even their quirks. But at the heart of it is their unconditional love. There was not a dry eye in the house as they exchanged their vows and the harpist played, “Some Day My Prince Will Come”.

The guests were overwhelmed – from the cheerleaders that Erik coaches, to their many conservative family members, to their Disney cruise friends, to their personal gay community. What an example of love and commitment! As the cheerleaders snacked on cupcakes iced in orange and blue and the adult guests sipped cocktails, they were all united in the celebration of this marriage. Congratulations Erik and Jason. Wishing you happily ever after. Please contact the NY Gay Wedding Consultant with questions about wedding planning. I will use your questions in a future column. meveelzenga@hotmail.com NYGayWeddingConsultant.com 585 733-2579

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Community Find the friends and fun you need inFind yourthe neighborhood thecommon LGBT interests you’re looking for through friends, fun,ofand community. the various groups listed below.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of June 2012. First Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music; second Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music; third Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel; fourth Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by Potluck Supper. June Potluck Theme: “Potluck Pastabilities”. Recipes containing pasta as an ingredient are in abundance. What is your favorite one? Cook it up and bring it along to join us for our monthly potluck supper. No time to cook? There is always plenty to share so stop by and visit. By the time you’re reading this June issue, the first Barn Sale for 2012 will be in full swing! It is being held June 1-3 in Lima (6963 West Main Road, Lima, NY 14485 — watch for signs). Love bargain hunting? Come this weekend and travel the “Trail of Treasures” from Caledonia to Bloomfield. We may open the barn again later this summer and donations are always accepted. Remember that you can always check for any additions or changes to the schedule at our website (http://www.di-rochester.org/) or by calling the DI Hotline at 585-234-5092.

JUST US GUYS Due to a change in program plans, our May outing took us to the Gay Alliance Library. Progress with this facility is most impressive. In addition to the primary Library space, we also toured the basement Archive storage room and learned about the accomplishments with the photo and document files. We need to spread the word about the importance of making sure that such materials get passed along to the Library for preservation. The group was reminded to support the Library’s book sale during Pride Week. One of our members will be hosting the June Pot Luck Picnic at his home on Tuesday, June 5, beginning at 6 p.m. This event is one week earlier than our regular monthly gathering date. Because of the many festivals and events taking place during the months of July and August, Just Us Guys will not be meeting again until September. As in the past, our members will be supporting Gay

Pride functions and other activities occurring throughout summer. We extend our best wishes for a safe and enjoyable summer to all. For more information about the June Picnic, or to learn more about the group, contact Ron at 729-2259 or email rmatter1@rochester.rr.com

Rochester Trans Group WOW! Our Saturday, June 30 meeting will be a special opportunity. We will be going to the JCC (Jewish Community Center of Greater Rochester) to tour “Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals,” a traveling exhibition by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. This promises to be a powerful look into a disgraceful, beyond tragic past on how people who were considered different were treated. We will meet beforehand for socializing and then tour the exhibit and then more socializing after. The JCC is located at 1200 Edgewood Ave. We will still meet at 3 p.m. to 5-5:30 p.m.

ROMANS ROchester MAle NaturistS (ROMANS) is a social organization of gay naturists who enjoy camaraderie in the nude. We are gay, bi, and gay-friendly men over the age of 21. We are all sizes, big and small. We are single, partnered, married, and divorced. We are short and tall, wide and thin, quiet and outgoing. We are young and not so young, furry and smooth. ROMANS is an inclusive social group for all men who are gay-friendly, who love to laugh and learn, and who enjoy nude social activities. We have upcoming barbecue picnics with sunning and swimming on June 23 and July 21. Camping weekend at Jones Pond is July 13-15 and GNI’s 28th annual men’s nude Gathering in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania is coming Aug. 17 to 26. Visit the Romans web site where an application for membership and information about the club is available. http://www. wnyromans.com or E-mail:wnyromans@ yahoo.com, call our message line at 585281-4964 or write ROMANS, PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692. ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment

RGMC takes a musical road trip June 16 The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus will perform songs for the open road on June 16 at their spring concert, “Road Trip.” The concert, which starts at 8 p.m. at Hochstein, will feature pop, jazz and classical numbers including

“California Dreamin’,” “Georgia On My Mind,” “Last Letter Home” and the world premier of the TTBB version of “Were the World Mine.” Tickets are available at Parkleigh, Outlandish, Equal=Grounds and at www.thergmc.org. ■

Kyle’s B&B comes out -- with book number two!

Delphine and Carmela Calamari

The Calamari Sisters are back, and they’re getting married (maybe) By Susan Jordan They’re baaack… The Calamari Sisters of public access cable cooking show fame have returned to Rochester, their first home, with their third show, “The Calamari Sisters’ Big Fat Italian Wedding,” created by Jay Falzone, Dan Lavender and Stephen Smith, at RAPA’s East End Theatre until Sept. 2.

Tickets are $39 (house seating) and $45 (table seating) and are available by phone at 585420-8338, or online at www. thecalamarisisters.com. The first Calamari Sisters show debuted here, and they have been back in Rochester with their Christmas show, but have been missing from the local scene since January 2011. However, they have

Welcome the solstice at Equal=Grounds Gallery; opening is June 1 The Gallery @ Equal=Grounds announces that it is “pleased, delighted and tickled pink around the edges to welcome back Rochester artist, Tim Mack and his wonderful weirdly, wacky work titled ‘The Secrets of the Solstice.’” The exhibit opens Friday, June 1 with a reception at Equal=Grounds, 570 South Ave., from 7- 9 p.m. and will remain up until June 30. Tim Mack says, “My current show is named ‘Secrets of the Solstice’ in honor of the summer solstice which is upon us (June 20). Also called ‘midsummer,’ this time of year has long associated with potent magic and the mysteries of rebirth and regeneration. While we may not believe in magic anymore, no one can deny that mysterious and nostalgic feeling that stirs inside of us when we get that first whiff of summer, or stop to notice the strange yet familiar warmth of a summer night. “The pieces you see here are a celebration of the special connection to nature we experience as the season changes. Images of suns and moons with faces, personalities, and a warm, knowing look in their eyes, as well as the many depictions of lush vegetation, evoke a sense of nature coming to life. I hope you enjoy viewing my work as I’ve enjoyed creating it, and have a happy solstice.” ■

kept busy performing their first two shows in a variety of other Off-Off-Off Broadway places, including Schenectady, and they were also emcees at the annual Fire Island Invasion, when drag queens arrive by boat for a major party. (Carmela was extremely impressed by the hordes of cute guys without shirts.) After they leave our town, they will head to Philadelphia’s Society Hill Playhouse for a September gig. From their earliest years assisting their caterer grandmother at the legendary Rigatoni Lodge of the Brooklyn Federation of Italian American Societies, to the sisters it has been all about the buffet. The new show asks the questions, Will Delphine marry the man she truly loves? Will Carmela get married first and show her up? Will the smaller size Italian wedding cake (about eight feet high) be big enough? Although Delphine’s assistant Julian Brightman and Carmela’s assistant David R. Gordon were not available, The Empty Closet caught up with the sisters themselves and Dan Lavender while the show was in preview, and still very much in process (it opened May 16). But already the East End Theatre was fully packed and an adoring audience gave them a standing ovation. With their excellent comic timing, harmonies, dancing and cartwheels, not to mention deft handling of salami, Delphine and Carmela provide entertainment that has to be seen to be believed. Of course, you do not have to be Italian to appreciate them. However, Delphine and Carmela are eager to thank the local Italian American community for their whole-hearted support. “We’d like to let everyone know about the great support we’ve (Calamari continues page 28)

By Susan Jordan Greg Fox has published a new book about the adventures of the men of Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast. If you have read The Empty Closet for the past few years, you already know Kyle, Breyer, Richard, Eduardo, Lance and the rest. Greg’s strip is better drawn than almost any other comic strip today – he is an artist, and has experience with sketching anatomy. And do these guys ever have anatomies! But although most of them are super-hunks, some of the characters (like Nick Ferrelli) question the looks-ism of gay culture and the obsession with being perfectly buffed and eternally young. Greg has also introduced an MTF transgender character, the elegant Morgan St. Cloud, and the sole lesbian character, Delia, is slated to get a girlfriend soon – and Greg told The Empty Closet that another lesbian character will also make an appearance before long. Former Olympic skier Dave is in a wheelchair after 9/11. B&B neighbor Andrew has a little boy. Brad the baseball pro is closeted, but is gradually losing his fear and internalized homophobia. Richard is a flaming queen -who learns that he is fabulous just the way he is. The diversity of the multiracial B&B residents and their friends reflects the enormous diversity of the LGBT community, in a realistic setting. The characters react to each other with humor and eccentricity and the strip contains both laughs and serious issues that most gay men can identify with. And of course it’s all about super-hunks too! By the way, upstate New Yorkers: Greg Fox is a SUNY Geneseo graduate – as is Steven, a mysterious character who just might be an angel in disguise (and probably the only one ever to graduate from Geneseo). This is your second collection of Kyle’s B&B. Have the characters matured since the first book? Well, the book starts up right where the last one left off, so I don’t know that they’ve really matured to any considerable degree. They’ve certainly learned some “life lessons” through what went on in the first book, but… I think they all still have a tendency to get themselves into remarkably screwed up and wacky situations. Most of the characters also have a penchant for speaking their minds without thinking first, which usually leads to trou-

Greg Fox

ble. Much to the delight, I’m sure, of many readers! There’s one of the hidden lessons in Kyle’s B&B…. it’s not always a wise thing to speak your mind! <laughter> Do you need to have read the first book to enjoy this new book? No, not at all. I’ve always written the comic strip so that new readers can jump in at any point, and get swept up into the story. And at the beginning of this book, I did include a “Who’s Who” section, to introduce all of the characters in the comic strip. But you probably don’t even need that. You can start (B & B continues page 28)

RWCC June 9 concert honors relationships The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus is presenting its spring concert, entitled “With You by My Side.” Songs about the support and strength of relationships will be performed. The concert will be held on Saturday, June 9 at 7:30 p.m. at Saint Anne Church, 1600 Mt. Hope Ave. Ticket prices are $10/general, $8/students and seniors, and $5 children. Tickets may be purchased from chorus members, Equal Grounds Coffee, or at the door. The performance is sign language interpreted and accessible for the physically challenged. For more information, call 234-4441 or http://www.therwcc.org. ■

28 (Calamari continued from page 27) gotten from the Italian community,” they said in a rare moment of seriousness, noting that co-creator Jay Falzone is a Rochester native, and Dan Lavender is Italian on his mother’s side. One benefit of this support, for their audiences, is the delicious tidbits of wedding cake offered to people as they leave – fresh from Gruttadauria Bakery in Greece. In an exclusive EC scoop, we can now reveal why Delphine hates her aunt Viola. “It’s a long story,” she said. “There’s always one at every family reunion. It was Christmas 1997 – I was supposed to bring devilled eggs and baklava, and she knew that perfectly well, but she brought devilled eggs and baklava! She’s so competitive!” Rumor has it that newlywed Delphine may soon be receiving a visit from the stork. (“Is it morning sickness or just agida?”) Dan Lavender admits, “It’s a distinct possibility. The next show might be set in a maternity ward.” Or maybe he said “psych ward” – it was a little noisy in the dressing room. When asked if they have thought of emulating Snooki and The Situation from “Jersey Shore” and going to Italy to do a special segment, Carmela responded, “I would love to go to Italy! We could find the Tortellinis and all our other relations. I’d love to do a cruise.” On second thought, though, the sisters recalled that Italian cruise liners have not been doing too well lately. Both sisters and Dan Lavender agreed that they are thrilled to be at RAPA, which is an alma mater of Jay Falzone’s. “We want to do our part to help revitalize the East End area,” they chorused. ■ ( B & B continued from page 27) reading the episodes, and meet the characters as the story progresses. Do readers seem to have a favorite character in the strip?

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012 I think there are “camps” of readers who rally for each character. I guess some of the characters seem to be more popular than others. People really seem to like Kyle a lot. And then Brad, the baseball player, is a very polarizing character. People seem to either love him or hate him. I suppose a lot of people don’t like the fact he’s still in the closet in his professional life. But then, I get a lot of e-mails from people who can relate to that. Oh, and people really seem to love Jeff Olsen, who’s not really a main character, but one of those supporting characters who comes in and out of the strip periodically. Not sure what it is about him people love so much… that hairy chest? The Southern accent? Jeff Olsen, without giving too much away, has a very life-changing experience in this book. Yes, and I think what is interesting is how Brad responds to this. Again, how readers reacted to Brad’s handling of Jeff’s “news” is telling. A lot of readers thought he was being harsh and ignorant, and others thought it was pretty honest. Thankfully, he does seem to learn something here. Kyle finds love in this book. Ah, yes, at long last! I think he had a pretty crappy run with men in the first book, so it’s really about time. And his new boyfriend, Breyer, is pretty awesome. In his own screwed-up way, that is! You also included a multi-episode story in this book that’s never been published before. Yeah, I did that in the first book, too. I think it’s important to put a little something in each book that’s never appeared anywhere else. With all these ongoing stories of romance and love gone bad, do you think of this comic strip as a soap opera? Not exactly. I think of it more as a comedy-drama. I think soaps are fine, it’s just… there’s not a lot of humor in them. I really try to mix it up. Some Kyle’s

B&B episodes are more humorous, and some very serious. I think the best ones have elements of both. I was watching reruns of an old show called “Thirtysomething” recently and thought, “Yes, that’s it, that’s precisely what I’m trying to do in the comic strip”, which is bring a deft blend of humor and drama, with intelligent, snappy conversation. The episodes in this book are in black & white, yet the current episodes of the comic strip are in color. When, and why, did you make the changeover to color? It was something I’d been wanting to do for a while. I really liked the look of the strip in black and white, but…. there were a lot of times I imagined how a particular episode would look in color. And then, I was getting increasing pressure from publishers. A number of the publications that run the strip were asking for it in color, and it got to a point where I had to say, “OK, I need to do this.”

It just happened to work out that where the black and white episodes end and the color episodes began was the point where I wanted to end this current book, so the next book, book 3, will begin with the color episodes. It’s really nice seeing this book, though… it makes me a little wistful for the strip in black and white. I miss that look. I also miss not having to do eight hours of coloring work on each episode, too! Is that how long it takes to color one episode? Eight hours? It can take that long. It varies by episode. I think the average time to color an episode is about six to eight hours. And how long to draw it before you start coloring? Also varies, but…. anywhere from 12 to 16 hours. I usually split up the drawing part over three days, while I’m simultaneously coloring the following episode at the same time. Is there any one character who is

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JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet your favorite to draw? And any character who is your least favorite? Um, I like drawing all of them. I don’t think there are any I dislike drawing. There are some that take longer, though. Usually it has to do with their hair. Kyle takes a long time… any character with that sort of dark, wavy hair involves a lot of brush and pen work. Breyer’s hair is the quickest, I think… that sort of jet-black GI Joe close-cropped hair. So easy! Oh, but Kristian…. his hair is pretty quick to draw, but…. coloring it involves a lot of effort. He’s got these honey blond, sun-streaked dreadlocks. I love how it ends up looking, but it does take some time. As Loreal would say, though…. “he’s worth it!” The first Kyle’s B&B book, which was released in 2004, was a Lambda Literary Award Finalist for “Best Humor Book” of the year. Any reason why it took until now for the second book to be published? Well, the original plan was that I’d begin putting the second book together in 2007, for a 2008 release. Unfortunately, 2007 was when my Mom’s illness began (she passed away about a year and a half later), and that pretty much took precedence over doing a new book at that time. I knew from my experience with the first book that the level of production involved, followed by the intense promotion upon publication …. the touring and publicity and interviews and all that…. it’s a major commitment of time and energy, and it goes on for over a year. I just couldn’t do that; I needed to be with my Mom at that time. The good thing was, I didn’t stop doing the comic strip at any point during this; I stayed on schedule, like always… a new episode every two weeks (except for one episode… the week she passed away, I did take off). In some ways, doing the comic strip helped keep me sane during what was a pretty trying time, when she was going through her illness. I set up

a drawing board in the basement of her house, and was able to be there with her for a good amount of time over those months, which I’m really grateful for. But after she had passed, and after using most of following year to just…. regroup, I started focusing on putting the next Kyle’s B&B book together. And now, finally, it’s here! One other good thing to note here is that I have already produced enough episodes of the comic strip for Book 3, so it won’t be nearly as long of a wait until that one is published! Any reason why Kyle’s B&B is done in full page installments, as opposed to doing it in a traditional three or four panel strip format? I like to think of the way I do it as a “Sunday page” format. With nine or 10 panels, you’re sort of getting the equivalent of three strips instead of just one. This way just works better for me, writing-wise. You know, I used to write comic strips in that short, three or four panel style. My high school and college strips, and also my first real professional comic strip, “Manic Music,” were all four panel strips. But I’m not crazy about that writing style, that bam-bam-bam-punch line format. I like being able to spend some time with the characters, have some more dialogue unfold. It’s more intimate, and involving, and I think the reader tends to get more invested in the story this way. I just enjoy it more. And somehow, the strip seems… heartwarming because of it, if that makes any sense. So many of those short comic strips involve really sarcastic, “put down” humor. I’m not a big fan of that. I want to tell warm, uplifting stories. Yes, I want them to be funny, too…. but not cynical. I hope I’ve accomplished that in Kyle’s B&B! Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast: A Second Bowl Of Serial by Greg Fox ISBN # 9780615627052. Price - $18.95 Available To Order At Amazon.Com Kyle’s B&B Website is www.kylecomics.com ■

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

The Gay Alliance plays a central role in advocating for the fair and equal treatment of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley www . ga y a l l i a n ce . o r g

Alliance Youth The Gay Alliance offers Youth Services for Rochester area LGBTQ and allied youth ages 13-25 Check out what’s happening at: www.gayalliance.org or contact: KellyC@gayalliance.org

Scott and Todd

Ride For Pride Biker of the Month: Scott Fearing Well, well, well… look who’s riding this year in Ride For Pride! Gay Alliance Program Director, Scott Fearing! Scott and his partner, Todd, have been our behind-the-scenes saviors during Ride For Pride 2010 and 2011, offering their home as a rest stop and supplying exhausted riders with the most delectable food and drinks. This year Scott will be riding and Todd will be one of our after-ride party coordinators. If you have ever had the privilege of participating in a training lead by Scott, you already know that he has incredible passion for LGBT equality, a wicked sense of humor that puts people instantly at ease and a heart of gold. What a great way to show your appreciation by sponsoring Scott in his ride this year. Scott’s fundraising link is: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/scottfearing/ride-for-pride-3 ■

Monday thru Thursday: Drop-in hours: 2-6pm Tuesday Teen Group: Ages 13-18: 6-7:30pm Special Interest: Transgender Youth, Arts/Crafts, Movies, Writing Special Events: Youth Dances, Day of Silence, Big Gay Prom, Pool Table, LGBTQ Youth Library, and Internet Access Fun, friendly, safe adults are needed to volunteer their time and talents, providing positive role models, maybe sharing a talent or skill. Contact Jeanne Gainsburg, Outreach Coordinator for an application: jeanneg@gagv.us or 585-244-8640, ext. 14.

Big Gay Prom 2012 was a Big Success!

Thanks to John’s Tex Mex John’s Tex Mex chose the Gay Alliance as 2012 Charity Donation of their Cinco de Mayo fundraiser. Muchas gracias! MUCHAS gracias! MUCHAS GRACIAS!

By Kelly Clark Take one historic ballroom, add 245 LGBT youth and friends, 45 chaperones and volunteers, three sheet pizzas, 20 bags of chips, 25 two-liter bottles of soda, 26 door prizes, two lbs. of glitter and one smokin’ DJ and what do you get? Rochester’s BIG GAY PROM! On May 18, the Gay Alliance Youth Program held our annual prom in the beautiful Cathedral Hall of the Auditorium Center. This year’s theme was Gaga Gay Prom: Born This Way, a tribute to the love and support that pop diva Lady Gaga has shown for the LGBT community. Youth from 43 different high schools in Western New York and 14 colleges and technical schools attended. Parents drove partygoers from as far away as Buffalo, Syracuse and Ithaca.

Photo: Tyler Schwab

One highlight of the night was a visit from an older cast member of the musical “South Pacific” that was running in the Auditorium Theater. He poked his head in and was just in awe! He remarked that his life would be so different if he had been able to attend something like this when he was younger. The Gay Alliance sends heartfelt thanks to all who made the Prom such a great success this year: chaperones, set-up and clean-up volunteers, businesses that donated door prizes and food, parents, grandparents and others who supported youth in getting safely to and from prom -- kudos! ■

The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley: is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender (LGBT) people are safe, thriving and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBT people, to affirm their identities, and to create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia. • Address: 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Hours: Mon.-Fri., 9 am-5 pm • Phone: (585) 244-8640 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Web: www.gayalliance.org Board President: John Altieri • Interim Executive Director: Anne Wakeman • Education and Outreach Director: Scott Fearing Director of Intergenerational Programs: Kelly Clark • Outreach: Jeanne Gainsburg The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan • Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson Phone: (585) 244-9030 • Fax: (585) 244-8246 • Advertising: (585) 244-9030 • E-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Youth Voices Current Day Evil: Homophobia in America By Alex Stilson Homophobia causes a myriad of problems for society and for people in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, along with their allies. This can be clearly seen throughout the history of our great country. However, it has become a major issue since the middle of the nineteenth century. After World War II many new laws came into place which pointed out the “evils” of homosexuality. Later on hate crimes became more focused on the LGBT community than ever before. It also increased the number of suicides for gay teenagers. Finally, the issue of homophobia involves opposition to gay marriage. Homophobia, in the U.S., began to become more prominent in the years after World War II when people felt threatened by secrecy, and as a result went after the LGBT community. Many laws were passed during this time, including the sodomy laws. Anyone caught for “indecent exposure, ‘inviting’ persons for immoral purposes, and public disorderly conduct,” (William N. Eskridge Jr. 5) would be considered in violation of the sodomy law. Later on certain states altered this law so that anyone who has committed a sodomy law violation could be put into a psychiatric ward for being gay. Within these wards, the doctors would use a number of ways to “cure” homosexuals. The means of “curing” people included “psychotherapy, aversion therapy, pharmacological shock, injection of hormones, cerebral lobotomies, and castration” (William N. Eskridge Jr. 7). Laws went beyond just these sodomy laws. There were laws in place during the fifties and sixties that allowed police to use decoys, spies and raids to arrest and charge homosexuals with crimes ranging from misdemeanors all the way up to felony level crimes. The police used spies to follow and track people down so they could try to arrest the couples for having sex. This was ineffective since they were not able to arrest as many people as they had hoped. They later turned to using decoys to try to arrest gays. They did this by using decoys to try to make people commit crimes such as hiring a prostitute, giving/ receiving oral sex or even kissing. In some cases, though, “vice officers were willing to forget the ‘magic words’ in return for cash,” (William N. Eskridge Jr. 9). This shows how the cops were willing to forget or lower the charges on the person if they were to get paid cash money. Finally the police raided social areas where gay people would hang out. Police forces around the country used raids because they were much more cost efficient than using decoys and spies. During these raids the police charged gays with “disorderly conduct or lewdness…. Arrests for disorderly conduct based on observations of same-sex hugging and kissing,” (William N. Eskridge Jr. 10). The raids, again, resulted in few to no arrests, because they were not able to create enough convictions to make the raids worthwhile. However these raids continued for many years. These laws, set up by the previous generations, helped form and perpetuate homophobia in America, which is still relevant to this day. These homophobic laws set up by our forefathers are evil because they took away the freedom of self-expression and ruined the lives of the LGBT community as well as their families. The most significant evil in this whole era of our history is how homosexuals were made second-class citizens with fewer rights and more unfair treatment compared to their heterosexual counterparts.

As decades and generations of people came and went, homophobia only increased in America, which led, and still leads, to hate crimes across our country, in every state and most likely every single community. A prime example of a hate crime was the death of Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998. Matthew Shepard was in a bar when two men named Aaron McKinney and Russel Henderson acted like they were gay in order to get Matthew Shepard to follow them into their car. They drove out into the middle of nowhere and Shepard was “robbed, beaten, tied to a fence and left to die,” (Steve Liss 1). A cyclist found Shepard about eighteen hours later, still surprisingly alive after his whole ordeal; Shepard was then brought to the hospital. After five days in the hospital Matthew Shepard died on October 12. His death was on the news nationwide, which led to protests across the country either for or against Shepard’s death. During Shepard’s funeral ceremony Fred Phelps, leader of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, preached that “God hates gays,” outside the church. (Steve Liss 2). Organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis have also been responsible for being involved in the persecution and lynching of gays. However they are not given as much legitimacy as the Christian church. Religion can be to blame for increased homophobia because “Anti-gay messages rooted in religious intolerance only contribute to misunderstanding and hatred for homosexual people and can lead to more violent incidents like the murder of Matthew Shepard,” (Steve Liss 3). When writers refer to religious intolerance they do not mean that all churches and religions specifically teach homophobia. An interesting fact is that 1,019 victimizations prompted by sexual orientation were reported in 1995. In 2002 there were almost 1,300 reported incidents and in 2004 there were nearly 1200 incidents of hate crimes reported. Religious intolerance and hate groups are on the forefront of homophobia in America. The evil of hatred can lead to murder, severe injuries and horrific treatment to homosexuals who never did anything to the person committing the hate crime. The evil of religious intolerance is that more and more followers of certain religions have become hostile towards the LGBT community, based on beliefs which were never stated in religious texts, or have been misinterpreted. One of the most controversial topics involving the gay community today is the increase in suicide among LGBT teenagers. Young people and mere children are taking their own lives because of society’s aversion to homosexuality, bullying and non-acceptance by adults and peers. Suicide among gay teens is no new thing. Causes of suicide include little or no emotional support, verbal and physical antigay abuse everywhere and forms of bullying. According to Gary Remafedi, James Farrow and Robert Deisher, “most gay youth suicides are committed by teens dealing for the first time with issues of sexual orientation and identity,” (“Suicide Risk for Gay Teens” 2). Teenagers and youth during puberty question their sexuality and who they truly are, and it does not help them feel safe or supported when people around them are homophobic. They can also feel uncomfortable because of direct or indirect bullying by their peers and adults. Examples of indirect bullying include saying “that’s so gay,” “faggot” and other derogatory terms for gay people. This affects more kids in the LGBT community, or those even questioning their sexuality, than most people realize. Homophobia in schools can also lead to students isolating themselves and remaining anonymous and frightened by their peers. According to studies, about “500,000

adolescents attempt suicide every year… 5,000 succeed and at least 30% of completed suicides are gay youth,” (“Suicide Risk for Gay Teens” 1). The suicide of many gay teens each year is a true atrocity, resulting from bullying, lack of support and physical and verbal abuse by adults and peers. The bullies that provoke these suicides are the true evil in this situation. They indirectly cause the death of someone’s child, they make the victim’s life a living hell and cause them to have depression, and worst of all, the suicide is a life lost to the world without a reason. A final obstacle that is set up for society because of homophobia is the issue of gay marriage. In 1996 the Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, was passed. It basically says that gay marriage is wrong and marriage can only be between a man and a woman. In a debate over the bill, Representative Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) said, “Love and commitment can exist between a man and a woman and it can and does exist between men and women.” (“Same-Sex Marriage” 1) This statement shows how love is love, no matter the gender. Opponents of marriage equality claim “the traditional family has stood for 5,000 years,” (“Same-Sex Marriage” 3). This is an utterly false statement. The ancient Greeks, over 2,000 years ago, saw samesex relationships as acceptable within certain limits, and some societies and religions still accept marriages in which a male has several wives. No one knows what any culture’s concept of marriage was 5,000 years ago, in the Bronze Age. Homophobes say that “marriage is a covenant established by God wherein one man and one woman are united for the purpose of founding and maintaining the family,” (“Same-Sex Marriage” 3). This quote can be interpreted a number of ways; however, a man and a woman are not needed to maintain a family; it can be done by anyone, including widows, single parents and even the children themselves if necessary. Rep. Tom Cobum of Oklahoma once claimed, “There are studies to say that over 43 percent of all people who profess homosexuality have greater than 500 partners.” (“Same-Sex Marriage” 4). This statement cannot be true. For most people, gay or straight, this statement is completely false because most people never have more than 500 partners in their entire lifetimes, although there are some exceptions.

31 DOMA must be repealed so LGBT people can truly obtain equality and will no longer be treated like second-class citizens. With the passage of DOMA, gay couples cannot have the same health insurance, raising the cost for both partners; they cannot get married or even get civil unions in all states and some states do not recognize legal relationships formed elsewhere. Last but not least, DOMA violates equality for LGBT Americans as compared to heterosexual couples. Because of this law there is no true equality among United States citizens when it comes to the right of marriage and there is no sign that this will change soon. The passage of DOMA in 1996 is an evil in itself, since it prevents gays from loving their partners, takes away rights such as visiting their partners in the hospital (since they are not family members or related) and making it hard for couples to be truly together and happy in their lives. These are truly the evils and atrocities brought on by the federal government, which affect society as a whole in one way or another. With the creation of anti-gay laws after World War II, hate crimes, religious intolerance, teenage suicides and inequality when it comes to marriage, it is no wonder that homophobia is a huge current day evil. In the land of the free there is an abundant amount of discrimination, hate and turmoil brought on by homophobia. This is a true evil and there is hope that one day it will go away, but until then we need to keep working at it. Do not ever give up on the hope of a better tomorrow. References “Hate Groups and Religious Intolerance.” Gender Issues and Sexuality: Essential Primary Sources. Ed. K. Lee Lerner, Brenda Wilmoth Lerner, and Adrienne Wilmoth Lerner. Detroit: Gale, 2006. 135-137. Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 24 Apr. 2012. Snowder, Frances. “Homophobia Increases the Suicide Risk for Gay Teens.” Homosexuality. Ed. Auriana Ojeda. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1999. Opposing Viewpoints. Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 24 Apr. 2012. Walen, Alec. “Society Should Allow Same-Sex Marriage.” Homosexuality. Ed. Paul Connors. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2007. Current Controversies. Rpt. from “The Defense of Marriage Act and Authoritarian Morality.” Dissent (Summer 1997). Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 24 Apr. 2012. Eskridge, William N. “Apartheid Of The Closet.” Florida State University College of Law. 1 Apr. 1996. Web. 25 Apr. 2012. <http://www.law.fsu.edu/journals/ lawreview/frames/244/eskrfram.htm> ■

Speaking Engagements/ Tabling for May 2012 5/3 SAGE on the Road at Chili Library 5/8 SAGE on the Road at Maplewood Library 5/9 SAGE on the Road at Phyllis Wheatley Library 5/10 SAGE on the Road at Winton Library 5/12 SafeZone Training at Gay Alliance 5/14 LGBT Issues in the Medical Setting at AIDS Clinic at UofR 5/17 LGBT Cultural Competence at Hobart and William Smith 5/17 Transgender Panel Presentation at SUNY Brockport 5/18 SAGE on the Road at Brockport Library 5/24 NY Civil Liberties Union DASA Training at MCC 5/25 Transgender Panel Presentation at U of R Psychiatric Residents 5/30 SpeakOUT Training at Excellus BCBS Evaluation of the Month: “They were great speakers. I almost cried a couple of times. They made me so proud of my gay brother, uncle and friends. Thank you so much for coming and sharing. I am so inspired to continue to fight for equal rights and become more of an active ally.” “WOW! WOW! Awesome presenters!” “Great job!! This should be mandatory in all college classes.”

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

Resources

HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St.

Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. And send us your information.

BISEXUALITY resourses

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com

Contact Information: Website: www.acRochester.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-545-7200, Health Services After Hours: 585-258-3363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-4545556. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies. (585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org. Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org. Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. Regular meetings: Third Sunday of the month, Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 14624. 1-3pm. PFLAG@ gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color through intervention and service, with emphasis on LGBTQ programming. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400.

Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529. Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance. Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS

Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows: AIDS Care AIDS Care is the leading provider of HIV/AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more. AIDS Care satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. AIDS Care is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481. Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693. Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595. Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 9625063. Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday. 262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous

Anthony L. Jordan Health Center Prevention & Primary Care Program Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing using the Orasure Rapid Test, Education presentations, and access to other Jordan services. Prevention & Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointments necessary. Office hours: Mon.– Fri., 8:30am– 5 pm: extended hours on Monday until 8pm. (585) 423-2879; fax (585) 423-2876. Website: www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call Program Director Patrick M. Trevor, (585) 423-2879. CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov. Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc. Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060. Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more. McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient. Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800. Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com. Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties. Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon. 315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com. Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

TRANSGENDER

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Youth Trans Group First Thurs. 6-7pm GAGV Youth Center, ages 13-23. jessc@gayalliance.org; 244-8640, x 13 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Transgender online: Transenough.com; www.endtransdiscrimination.org; genderfork.com; www.transgendercare.com; International Foundation for Gender Education Gender Education and Advocacy http://www.gender.org/; FTM Information Network http://www.ftminfo.net/; Transgender at

Work http://www.tgender.net; PFLAG Transgender Network http://community.pflag.org/ page.aspx?pid=380; TransActive http://www. transactiveonline.org; The Transitional Male http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/; National Center for Transgender Equality http://transequality.org/; New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy http://www.nyagra.com/; Transgender Aging Network http://forge-forward.org/aging/; Transgender Law Center http://transgenderlawcenter.org; Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund http://transgenderlegal.org/; The Self Made Men http:// theselfmademen.webs.com/ (please send us your favorite sites/groups) Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education. Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program. All BCCR programs, support services free. Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women. Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms. Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273. Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome. GAGV Anti Violence Project 585-244-8640 ext 19. For women and men. Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189. Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728. Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential. Accept most insurances; including Medicaid. You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay. Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Monday

Occupy Rochester M-F, 4-6 pm, at the Liberty Pole. Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group. First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516. Lilac Squares Gay Square Dance Group, Mondays, 7pm, 140 Alex Bar. To reserve space: 467-6456; bdaniels@frontiernet.net. Free syphilis testing AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220. Rainbow SAGE Souper Mondays, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor. Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.) HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, AIDS Care Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 2-6pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640, x 13.

Rainbow SAGE Ruby Slippers Wednesdays, 5:45 pm, Callan-Harris Physical Therapy, 1328 Universty Ave. Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open. Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights. 8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, paulkaseman@gmail.com. Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Equality Rochester 2nd Mondays, 7-8:30 pm, Equal=Grounds. 426-0862; annetischer1@gmail.com

Gay Alliance Youth Drop-In Hours Mondays, Wednesdays, 3-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St. Prince St. entrance, first floor. 244-8640 x 13. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Wednesday. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Tuesday

Thursday

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org. Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave. Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center Every Monday. 1-3pm; 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640.

Just Us Guys Gay men of all ages. 2nd Tuesdays, 6:30pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 223-2629 Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men. Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org. Rainbow SAGE Trending Tuesdays, 11am-3pm, Gay Alliance Center MOCHA Youth Drop-In Tues.-Fri., 1-9pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 420-1400; 244-8640 MOCHA Hepatitis Clinic Free Hepatitis A & B vaccinations, third Tuesdays, 5:30-7pm, 107 Liberty Pole Way, 4201400 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave.

Wednesday Country Line Dancing/Two Stepping Every Wednesday, 140 Alex, 7pm. Lessons followed by dancing until 10pm, Beginners to advanced. U.R. Pride Network 7:30pm, Gamble Room in Rush Rhees Library. urpride@gmail.com

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Queer Radical Reading Group First and third Thursdays, 7pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 167 Flanders St. off Thurston Rd. 426-0862. GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb). Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, AIDS Care, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 MOCHA/Gay Alliance Youth Trans Group First Thursdays, 5-7pm, Gay Alliance Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor (Prince St. entrance). 244-8640 ext 13. Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm. Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org

FRIDAY

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave.

GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations. RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net. L.O.R.A. Potluck & Games Night Fourth Fridays. GAGV Youth Center, 875 E. Main St., 1st floor 6-9:30pm, 585-313-3037; E-mail: info@l-o-r-a.com. http://www.facebook.com/L.O.R.A.14464; www.l-o-r-a.com Womyn’s Drum Circle Fourth Fridays. 6-9:30pm, GAGV Youth Center; E-mail: info@womynsdrumcircle.org; Website: www.womynsdrumcircle.org.

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two NA meetings in Rochester.

SATURDAY

Tuesdays

Rochester Trans Group Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5 pm, GAGV Youth Center, first floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Wednesdays

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, Youth Center, 875 E. Main, 1st floor, Prince St. entrance. 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org. Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out Third Saturdays. Social group for transguys. 1pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting. Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sunday

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) 3rd Sundays, 1-3pm. Open Arms MCC, 740 Marshall Rd. 244-8640 x 27; pflag@gayalliance.org. Gay Alliance Library & Archives Sunday hours ended. Come Out Dancin’ First, Third Sundays. 3-5pm, Friends Meetinghouse, 84 Scio St., entry on Charlotte St. $5. Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188. Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper. Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd., Chili, 10:30am, 271-8478 Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8:30pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting Rainbow SAGE First Sundays: Euchre Club, 3-6pm. Third Sundays, Potluck at First Universalist Church, 150 S. Clinton Ave., 4pm. Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664. Civil Rights Front Every Tuesday, 5pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. http://www.civilrightsfront.wordpress.com

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings. Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. • Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion. Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

St. Mary’s Catholic Church 15 St. Mary’s Place 585-232-7140 www.stmarysrochester.org Liturgies: Saturday: 4pm; Sunday: 10:30am

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012

June 2012

Classifieds

FRIDAY 1

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance or GAGV. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement. The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

Secrets of the Solstice, art show by Tim Mack. The Gallery@ Equal=Grounds, 570 South Ave. Reception 7-9 pm. Manuel Rivera-Ortiz: India photography show opening, The Gallery at the Arts & Cultural Council, 277 N. Goodman St. 6-9 pm. 473-4000. Dignity Integrity Barn Sale. Through June 3. 6963 West Main Road, Lima 14485 (watch for signs).

SATURDAY 2

Buffalo Pride. Dyke March. Lineup 4 pm, Kleinhans Music Hall. Step off 5 pm; end at Allen Street Festival.

SUNDAY 3

Buffalo Pride Parade. “Transformation.” Lineup 11 am, Elmwood Ave. Step off 1 pm. Festival at Canalside along Erie Canal Harbor, 1-7 pm. www.pridecenterwny.org. Dignity-Integrity Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. website (http://www.di-rochester.org/), DI Hotline 585-234-5092. Keeping Pace with AIDS. Walk/ run/bike fundraiser for AIDS Care. 6 am-2 pm, The Roundhouse, Genesee Valley Park. Register at www.firstgiving.com; info at 210-4150, development@acRochester.org. Tea Dance party at One Restaurant, 1 Ryan Alley, honoring Lt. Gov. Bob Duffy, Evelyn Bailey of Gay Alliance Shoulders To Stand On project. 3-8 pm. All proceeds to Shoulders To Stand On.

monDAY 11

CNY Pride Rainbow Flag-Raising. Noon-12:45pm 233 E. Washington St., Syracuse. cnypride.org

TUESDAY 5

Just Us Guys potluck picnic at member’s home. Info: 729-2259; rmatter1@ rochester.rr.com.

THURSDAY 7

religion: the struggle for inclusiveness. Moderator: John Clinton Bradley, Episcopal Diocese. Free. JCC, 1200 Edgewood Drive. Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking event. 5:30-7:30 pm, Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School.

FRIDAY 15

Empty Closet deadline for July PRIDE issue. 244-9030; susanj@gayalliance.org.

SATURDAY 16

Road Trip. Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus concert, 8 pm, Hochstein Performance Hall. Tickets at Parkleigh, Outlandish, Equal=Grounds, www.thergmc. org. Rochester Rams bar night. “Daddy’s Bar Night.” Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. CNY Pride Parade, 11am, Q Center, 627 W. Seneca St., Syracuse. Festival noon-5pm, Innerharbor Waterfront Park, 400 W. Kirkpatrick St., Syracuse.

SUNDAY 17

Dignity Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. website (http://www.di-rochester.org/), DI Hotline 585-234-5092.

TUESDAY 19

Gen Silent. Jewish Community Center, 1200 Edgewood Drive. 5:45 pm: special reception and tour of JCC exhibit “Nazi Persecution of Gays”. 7 pm: screening of film on LGBT elders. Free. Reservations: 244-8640. Sponsored by Gay Alliance with support from Excellus.

WEDNESDAY 20 Summer Solstice

THURSDAY 21

Two Spirits. Film about murdered Navajo transgender youth. JCC partner program with WXXI. 7 pm, JCC Senior Adult Lounge, 1200 Edgewood Drive. Free.

Live Free or Die. 7 pm, Jewish Community Center Senior Adult Lounge, 1200 Edgewood Drive. Film on gay Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, discussion with Rev. Michael Hopkins.

SATURDAY 23

Pridepalooza 140 Parking Lot Party. 2-8 pm, 140 Alex Bar & Grill, 140 Alexander St. at Broadway. With You By My Side. Rochester Women’s Community Chorus concert, 7:30 pm, St. Anne’s Church, 1600 Mt. Hope Ave. Tickets $10 adult, $8 senior/ student, $5 children 12 and under. Available at Equal=Grounds, from Chorus members. ASL interpreted, handicapped accessible. www.therwcc.org; 234-4441.

SUNDAY 24

SATURDAY 9

SUNDAY 10

Reading of “Bent” by Martin Sherman. JCC Hart Theatre, 1200 Edgewood Drive, 7 pm. Free. Karaoke on The Lady. Canandaigua Lady lake cruise, 2:30-5:30 pm, $20. Cash bar, free snacks. Gay/Straight Alliance of the Finger Lakes. 585-396-7350 # 100 or #104. Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. website (http://www.di-rochester.org/), DI Hotline 585-234-5092.

TUESDAY 12

VisitRochester Hospitality U: The LGBT Market. JCC, 1200 Edgewood Drive. VisitRochester members $20; nonmembers $40. 279-8300.

WEDNESDAY 13

Rochester Rams general meeting. 7:30 pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave., basement clubhouse.

THURSDAY 14

Panel discussion on LGBTQ and

ROMANS male nude BBQ picnic, swim. 281-4964; wnyromans@yahoo. com. NYC Rapture on the River. Women’s Pride event now at Pier 57, 4-11 pm. NYC Pride Parade. Starts 11 am at 36th St. & Fifth Ave., ends Christopher & Greenwich Sts. Pier 57 is new home for The Dance on the Pier, 8 pm-2 am. www. heritageofpride.org Toronto Pride Parade. Caps 10 days of events. www.pridetoronto.com No Word In Guyanese For Me. Reading from play about American Muslim lesbian teenager from Guyana. JCC Hart Theatre, 1200 Edgewood Drive, 7 pm. Free. Dignity Integrity Evening Prayer, followed by potluck supper. “Potluck Pastabilities.” 5 pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. website (http:// www.di-rochester.org/), DI Hotline 585234-5092.

THURSDAY 28

A Love to Hide. Film about gay couple, Jewish friend in WW II France. Discussion moderator Professor Charles Clarke. 7 pm, JCC Senior Adult Lounge, 1200 Edgewood Drive, free.

SATURDAY 30

Rochester Trans Group. Monthly meeting: tour of JCC exhibit on Nazi persecution of gays, 1200 Edgewood Drive. 3-5:30 pm. dYke Picnic and Women’s Festival, Hazelwood Lodge, Ellison Park. 11 am-9 pm. Stand-up comic, music, kids’ activities, vendors. Donations requested. Info: www.dykepicnic.org. ■

FOR SALE

Malibu outdoor lights. String of four, never unboxed. $70 value for $50! 385-7931.

SERVICES

Rochester’s Best Man to Man Rubdown. Unwind with this degreed, employed, fit, friendly, healthy, Italian GWM. Middle aged, 5’8”, 165 lbs., 32” waist, nonsmoker, d & d free, HIV negative. My 10-plus years experience guarantees your relaxation and satisfaction. Hotel visit, in call in my home or out call in your residence. Reasonable rates. Discretion appreciated and practiced. Don’t delay, call me today at 585-773-2410 (cell) or 585-235-6688 (home) or e-mail me at: magichands@rochester.rr.com. Interior painting/wall repair by John Walsh. 25 years experience, neat, clean, efficient. Booking now for spring/ summer. Call to arrange estimate. 585454-2808. Martin Ippolito master electrician. Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans. 585-266-6337. World renowned weddings. 42 years performing same sex commitments, now

marriages (it’s about time!). Nancy BB Meyer minister, God is Love-Animals are Angels ministry. 585-733-6213. Treat yourself to a very soothing, relaxing massage by a licensed massage therapist. Massage reduces stress and can enhance your wellbeing. Convenient central locations. Call John at 585-314-0197.

The Empty Closet is seeking a volunteer who knows flickr and could spend a few hours a month putting together the EC website photo galleries. Call Susan at 244-9030

JUNE 2012 • number 457 • gay alliance of the genesee valley • the empty closet

Bed & Breakfast

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month. Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 740 Marshall Road, Rochester 14624 from 1 to 3pm. Join us! Questions? Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org

Seeking

sex

in the park?

the empty closet • the gay alliance of the genesee valley • number 457 • JUNE 2012