Empty Closet, Dec 2017- Jan 2018

THE EMPTY CLOSET

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A PUBLICATION OF THE OUT ALLIANCE SINCE 1972 • DEC-JAN 2018

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ec The Empty Closet December-January 2018 Number 518

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The Cover: From mimeograph to newsprint, The Empty Closet has told the stories of the community since 1971. Read more about the amazing changes in store for the EC below and watch for our new magazine in February!

Contents

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Sonnets • Youth Comic • Empty Nest • Miss Gay Rochester DeeLicious • Puerto Rico relief • LGBT Giving Circle • Rachel McKibbens • Red Carpet Affair • Holiday cocktails • Wins for Trans Community • MOCHA celebrates • Buffalo Soldiers

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The Out Alliance works to be champions for LGBTQ life and culture. We strive to ensure that all members of the LGBTQ communities, at all stages of their lives, are free to be fully participating citizens, living lives in which they are safe, stable and fully respected.

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Board of Trustees

Colleen Raimond, President Chloe Corcoran, Vice President Jeff Lambert, Secretary Martin Murphy, Treasurer Jason Barnecut-Kearns, Paul Birkby, Sady Fischer, Milo Primeaux, Luis Rosario-McCabe, David Zona Executive Director Scott Fearing Managing Director Jeffrey Myers Development Director Josh Stapf Education Director Jeannie Gainsburg Communications Manager Rowan Collins Education Coordinator Kayden Miller

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SAGE Program Coordinator Anne Tischer Database Kat Wiggall Bookkeeper Christopher Hennelly Administrative Assistant Jeana Bonacci-Roth

The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan susanj@outalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Graphic Design Jim Anderson jimandersondesign@me.com Photography Doug Meszler (585) 244-9030 Advertising Jennie Bowker jennieb@outalliance.org.

(585) 244-9030

The Out Alliance

100 College Avenue Rochester, New York 14607 Mon. & Fri., 9am-5pm Tues., Wed., Thurs. 9am-8pm Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Email: info@outalliance.org Internet: www.outalliance.org

New Look, Fresh Content, Always Authentic: Exciting Changes for The Empty Closet

By Rowan Collins and Jeff Myers What you, our reader, hold in your hands is the 518th issue of The Empty Closet. 518 issues. 518 unique publications for the community, by the community. 518 opportunities to shine a light on the issues, identities, and work of the diverse LGBTQ+ community members in the Rochester area and beyond.

When we began, The Empty Closet was a four-page ditto print under the Rochester Gay Liberation Front which moved to mimeograph in 1973 and was taken under the direction of the newly formed Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley.

For 47 years, The Empty Closet has told the news of the community, connected members to resources, events, and support, and shaped public perception of the issues that affect us.

High school students, college kids, young professionals, mid-career adults, older adults, seniors, and everyone in between continue to pick up The Empty Closet from a local library, coffee shop, grocery store, bar, clinic, social service agency, school, campus center, community organization, or their own mailboxes.

In February 2018 The Empty Closet will make the leap from newspaper to magazine format. This is an exciting opportunity for our publication that will enable larger scope, enhanced graphics, and a more reader-friendly presentation.

Each issue of The Empty Closet has been free of charge. To be accessible to as many people as possible, we are still committed to providing a free publication – so that those invaluable, life-saving resources and connections are never denied to a single person.

As The Empty Closet sees a new look and structure in the years to come, we will continue our tradition. No member of our community will go without access to all The Empty Closet provides.

You play a vital role in the life of this publication. Your voice and experiences are fundamental to the work we do, and we want to hear from YOU as we continue to write the legacy of The Empty Closet.

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Perspective Edith Windsor: June 20, 1929 - Sept .12, 2017 (Age 88)

Two final words: gratitude and unity

By Susan Jordan So I’m retiring this month, having edited The Empty Closet since July 1989.

When I became editor, John Strand, a professional journalist who was on the Alliance board, told me that editors should write an editorial each month to connect them with their readers.

Twenty-eight years and 312 editorials and deadlines later, this is my final letter to EC readers, and I have two topics to cover.

First is gratitude. The Alliance and its community-building publication could never have survived without our volunteers. Hundreds have volunteered in one way or another since the former Gay Alliance started as a grassroots political action group in 1973. I worked most closely with the Empty Closet volunteers.

I’d like to thank them, beginning with the layout volunteers from the predesktop publishing days. Then we had stiff 11x17 pieces of graph paper called the Boards, and we printed out the contents of the paper and cut that with X-acto knives into long column-sized strips, which we pasted onto the boards with hot wax – then the printer photographed that. If you wanted to remove a logo for next month’s issue, you used carcinogenic benzene. Thanks to all the survivors of the hot wax days!

Then I must thank the talented people who ushered us into the desktop publishing era – Ellen Mahaffy, Joan Boccino, Victor Cardoso, Brad Pease and our first paid graphic designer, Don Albrecht. I’d especially like to thank our current graphic designer, who puts the publication together every month – thank you Jim Anderson!

Thanks must also go to everyone who has written for the EC, as reporters, columnists, reviewers, etc., as well as our many amazing photographers over the years.

And I must thank the mailing volunteers, from the days before we hired delivery and direct mail companies.

Thanks to everyone who struggled with P.O. regulations, stuffed envelopes, made deliveries!

I also want to thank the bi and pansexual people, the trans and nonbinary people, the lesbians and gay men who have generously educated me about their experiences.

And finally, thanks to all of YOU, every EC reader. When I hear about closeted youth, isolated elders or anyone else who has found information and connection in the EC which have made a crucial difference in their lives – hearing those stories makes everything worthwhile!

Second topic: unity among LGBTQ+ people in our diverse communities. I believe it’s important to respectfully challenge each other on issues like racism, sexism, classism, ablism and agism. As Kwame Ture said, “Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom.” And we all have something to be eternally vigilant about!

But when legitimate challenges become endless divisive, “more-p.c.than-thou” bickering and put-downs, our community and movement are weakened. Simply, we can’t afford that.

When we challenge another member of our own oppressed group(s), maybe we should then ask ourselves, “What have I done lately to challenge the fanatical bigots and neo-fascist ideologues who work obsessively to destroy our families and erase our civil and human rights?”

The more divided we become, the stronger the haters become. I’d like to leave you with a final tip for our survival of the Trump years: Intersectionality.

Solidarity.

Resistance!

In her ninth decade, she started a judicial odyssey, fighting a battle she never expected to wage—let alone win. Now she’s the matriarch of the gay-rights movement.

For most of her life, Edith Windsor was a private citizen who, like most Americans, had a name that — while meaningful to those in her circle of friends and family — was largely unknown to the wider world. But a late-in-life decision ensured that the LGBTQ activist, would find her name a solid part of American history.

After all, it’s her name in the 2013 Supreme Court case United States v.

Windsor, which overturned key parts of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

“America’s long journey towards equality has been guided by countless small acts of persistence, and fueled by the stubborn willingness of quiet heroes to speak out for what’s right,” former President Barack Obama said in a statement about Windsor’s death. “Few were as small in stature as Edie Windsor – and few made as big a difference to America.”

The Windsor decision said that, in 13 states and the District of Columbia, which recognized same-sex marriage, such couples were entitled to the same federal benefits offered to their heterosexual counterparts. (On the wider question of whether marriage equality is a constitutional right, the Supreme Court ruled that it is in 2015, and that same-sex marriages must be recognized in all states.)

Hillary Clinton Eulogy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sqrVx2uWKE

Thank You

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Susan Jordan – Feminist, Activist, Social Justice Advocate - Retires In Gratitude for 28 years of Dedicated Reporting for the Rochester LGBT Community.

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ver the course of her 28 years as editor of The Empty Closet newspaper (EC), the oldest continuously published gay newspaper in New York State and second in the country, the winds of change have blown gently, fiercely, violently. Throughout these extraordinary times the steady hand of Susan Jordan put pen to paper and documented the challenges, successes and setbacks in the Rochester gay community’s fight for equality and justice.

In her very first editorial in August, 1989 Susan wrote, “The Empty Closet is your paper, and your ideas and input make it what it is.” Susan’s commitment to that focus is what has kept The Empty Closet growing and has involved more people in its production so that it is truly a newspaper written for, by and with the community. A feminist perspective that has secured the community’s first amendment rights in every issue.

In 1990 the Gay Alliance moved from the Genesee Coop on Monroe Avenue, thus ending the era of putting the EC together with light tables and glue sticks. The new era of digitization dawned with Rochester’s fight for domestic partnership benefits for City of Rochester employees and their partners. In her August 1994 editorial “Domestic Partnership, Marriage, and Sacred Cows”, Susan wrote, “Because as things are now, lesbians and gays are being punished for the ‘immorality’ of wanting to marry, and heterosexuals are being punished for the ‘immorality’ of not wanting to marry.

Perhaps morality has more to do with love, respect and responsibility than with the sacred cows of patriarchy.”

From August 1994 to June 2011 Susan would report on the strategy and grass roots efforts to bring Marriage Equality to a vote. In the July 2011 issue of The Empty Closet Susan wrote in her editorial “A Long Week and a Moment of Transformation”, “This is a historic, oncein-a-lifetime moment. People of all orientations are watching, all over the country and around the world, as one of the largest American states says that LGBT love and families are

REAL.” Over the past 28 years, Susan has documented the changes in the Alliance from a not-for-profit umbrella organization of grass roots organizations, to a social service agency to the inclusive challenging OUT Alliance. Susan has been editor through the Reagan years, the Bush White Houses, the Clinton years, the first African American President Barack Obama, and now the unimaginable “reality show” presidency of Donald Trump. Throughout these years, Susan has been able to maintain her focus on people and the impact of social, political, and economic change on the lives of her gay brothers and sisters. Truth, integrity and compassion have been the hallmark of her writing. Sugar coating is not one of Susan’s tendencies. Susan deals with reality head on, and has successfully documented the lived experience of the Rochester LGBT community.

In her first editorial in the August 1989 issue of the EC, Susan articulated these challenges that faced the Gay Liberation Movement as a whole: fighting the AIDS epidemic; empowering people with AIDS (not just “giving charity”); and struggling with the

great social issues of our time, such as sexism, racism, poverty, classism, ableism and homophobia (both external and internal). Today, Susan would say there has been forward movement but there is much more to do.

On the 40th anniversary of The Empty Closet in 201l, Susan Jordan said that the EC still gives voice to radical thought, and I quote, “Maybe it’s better for one’s ‘sanity’ to concentrate on the work being done by unsung progressives and community organizers who fight racism, sexism, homophobia and all forms of hatred and injustice – than the cynical exploitation of hatred to win votes.” (Susan Jordan, Empty Closet, Dec/Jan 2011). Consistently focused on the real issues confronting us, Susan never lost sight of the inclusiveness needed to bring about change. Susan’s editorials challenged many to look at their biased attitudes and their discriminatory actions and behavior.

Today, The Empty Closet is a professionally staffed newspaper published 11 times a year, with a circulation of 5,000 and an active web site. Over the past 28 years, Susan Jordan has never missed putting out an issue. That is more than something to be proud of, it is a monumental accomplishment and an unparalleled commitment to keep the Rochester LGBTQ community informed. The EC under Susan’s editorship generates a sense of pride in the contributions the Rochester LGBTQ community has made to the economic, social and political life of Rochester, New York State and the nation.

Through Susan Jordan’s leadership, the EC has provided us with a mirror reflecting the incredible and often problematic diversity of our community. At the same time, the EC has helped to provide that common ground where we can stand together in solidarity and power. The EC has also documented accurately and passionately the LGBTQ community’s journey from oppression to liberation for future generations.

Susan, the Rochester LGBTQ community is proud to recognize your talent, literary expertise, tenacity, perseverance, dedication, and commitment to reporting gay news for the Rochester LGBTQ community for the past 28 years. The Rochester LGBTQ community owes you an unending debt of gratitude for the work you have done in making our struggles visible, in strengthening our resolve to continue the fight for justice and equality, in bringing a sense of pride and joy to our lives individually and as a community, and in helping to make Rochester a gay friendly inclusive city where we can be free to be who we are.

Susan, thank you –

Evelyn Evelyn Bailey Chair Shoulders to Stand On Program Out Alliance dba Gay Alliance of Genesee Valley 100 College Avenue Rochester, NY 14607 evelynb@outalliance.org 585-244-8640

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Interview

Dr. Luis Rosario-McCabe returns from Puerto Rican relief effort

By Rowan Collins On Tuesday, October 24th a team of medical providers from the University of Rochester Medical Center flew to Puerto Rico to provide much-needed aid and care to residents as they continue to recover from Hurricanes Irma and Maria, which caused widespread consecutive devastation.

For two weeks, the team treated residents who didn’t have clean drinking water, didn’t know where their primary care doctors had gone, and were beginning to manifest anxiety and depression in the wake of the disaster.

Dr. Luis Rosario-McCabe, Out Alliance Board member, Senior Nurse Practioner at URMC, and co-owner of Cloverfield Farm in Chili with husband Michael, was part of that team.

He sat down to tell us more about the trip and how we can continue to help our fellow citizens in Puerto Rico.

First, can you tell me how the trip to Puerto Rico was organized? When was it decided the team would go?

The emergency medical deployment was organized by the Healthcare Association of New York State (HANYS). I don’t know the specifics of how it was organized, but it was a logistical nightmare to get the 156 of us who were deployed to go to PR. I was in the second group of 77 who were deployed. Hospital administration sent an email message to people who might be interested, and I jumped at the chance. I’m not sure the size of the pool they chose from, but ultimately 11 from UR Medicine were chosen: 1 physician, 2 NP, 8 RNs, and 1 LPN. We were notified the week before our deployment that we would be leaving 10/26/17. Days before we were told it was moved to the 24th.

Where did you work, primarily?

And what did that work entail?

Our group worked alongside a group of 10 from Mt Sinai in Fajardo, PR. Our mission was to assist with emergency room decompression. Essentially, we were seeing the overflow of patients the ED [emergency department] could not handle. Our makeshift “clinic” was actually three military tents. During my time there we saw nearly 2,000 patients.

Beyond the expected - and unex-

pected - devastation, you also have a personal connection to the country.

Can you describe some of the emotional aspect of the experience?

The devastation really was unimaginable. I had no idea what I would be experiencing. Interestingly, when we flew into San Juan, I was surprised at how beautiful everything looked. I really did not see much devastation. It wasn’t until we drove through the countryside on route to Fajardo that we saw the loss of property firsthand. It will be years before it is all cleaned up.

One of those striking things I experienced was being reunited with family I had not seen in 41 years. I was hesitant to meet them because I felt it would be awkward, but I soon realized it wasn’t going to be. I’m not sure if it was because of blood or a common experience, but there was little that divided us. They were just thankful that we cared enough to come to the aid of Puerto Rico. I had initially told them I could only spend a couple of hours with them because I had to work in the clinic – in case anything felt too uncomfortable.

Thankfully, it was anything but weird and I was able to spend nearly 8 hours with them.

We drove to where they live in the mountainous region of PR. That’s where the destruction was greatest. They had no water, no electricity, no local grocery store… and yet they had everything. Their resiliency was awe inspiring. I left feeling a bit guilty. I’m not sure I would be as positive as they were had I been in their shoes. Actually, I’m not sure most of us would be as positive.

And finally, what can folks here in Rochester do to support the continued effort to rebuild?

I think the best thing folks here can do is donate money to the Red Cross. The Red Cross can help

Rosario-McCabe and his team members describe their experience to local news | Spectrum News Rochester

It will be years before it is all cleaned up” | Spectrum News Rochester

from there. The other important thing we all need to remember is the importance of voting. It is an embarrassment that our current administration took so long to act.

Ed note: Visit RedCross.org for more information on the Red Cross’ efforts in Puerto Rico and other areas impacted by the hurricanes. It’s important to

research charities to fully understand how they might spend your money. The Red Cross allows special designation for donations to “Disaster Relief ”. Charity Navigator is a good resource to learn more about any organization before you donate.

Opinion

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Superheroes Need Sidekicks! The Power of Allies, Part 2

By John Curtis Many companies are expanding quality training and Lean Six Sigma – to infuse workplaces with process rigor, management by fact and to fully engage diverse teams and stakeholders.

One of the most valuable tools is the meeting skill of “Bringing people in”. It helps to ensure that diverse voices and ideas are heard. It is hard to be in a meeting, and to feel shut out, or worse, shut down. To have your superpowers hidden -- or to have your powers weakened. Your energy sapped.

Quality Processes don’t allow overpowering or shutting down decision making. It encourages us to be Allies – to engage other people -- to bring in their creative, unique insights and perspectives. So Lean Six Sigma and quality tools: those can be diversity and inclusion tools, which change CULTURE. They are entwined in our business and our personal practice. We need those Super-Powers.

We need those powers harnessed for good!

So many sidekicks: vital allies standing alongside us. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, he cried out for Allies: “I have a dream that one day -on the red hills of Georgia -- the sons of former slaves -- and the sons of former slave owners -- will be able to sit down -- together -- at the table of brotherhood.”

A valued member of Reverend King’s inner circle was Bayard Rustin, a leader in civil rights and non-violence. He was black, and he was gay: and he was attacked because of that, by both sides: by white segregationists and by black power militants. He remained steadfast, a quiet sidekick, influencing Dr. King. He reached out to bring in youth activists, and, in 1964, he worked to ALLY the black community: joining forces together with the labor movement.

Which leads us to Joe Wilson, CEO of Xerox, back in 1968. An Ally who was willing to go into race riots in Rochester to listen and to act. An Ally willing to see the pain and to hear, truly hear, the appeals from our sisters and brothers. Would anyone, let alone businesses, be an Ally -- to see the potential and take the lead?

Dignity of work and meaningful careers DO matter to each of us. The dignity to succeed and lift your family up….

Joe continued meeting with community activists, leading to an idea for a black-owned and operated manufacturing company: and to helping to ensure its success. He pledged that XEROX would be their customer because – let’s be real -- money wields a LOT of power -- and money and allies DO influence the speed of change. From that Xerox created one

of the first Minority and Women supplier diversity purchasing programs, anywhere. And still today his family continues to use philanthropy as Allies investing to make change happen.

The movement for LGBT acceptance has been a long journey. But it is an example to mirror, to consider how Allies move progress forward: for women’s equality, transgender equality, immigration reform. How all of us need the benefit of Allies. There may be some who would push us down, or pull back to keep our hard work from seeing fruition. Our Executive Champions, and our Allies throughout our organizations and communities, can be in places and in conversations where they can influence on our behalf.

An Ally shared a quick anecdote: A colleague stopped them and said, “Did you know that John is gay?” and the Straight Ally said: “Yeah, and I am pretty sure his husband is too!”

Sometimes the best Allies are NOT “on your team”. Outsiders can speak with authority and authenticity. Mentors and Sponsors are Allies: they can coach us and can influence others.

They expand the mental maps in our culture: to accelerate change and to move progress forward.

Our efforts for equality can benefit from men who are allies -- like Justin Trudeau -- or at Xerox, where we launched a “Manbassador” program, to collaborate for equality. Today men are 50 percent of the workforce, but an even higher percentage in executive ranks and in hiring and leadership/decision-making roles. They ARE the missing half of the equation for equality. We need men to be feminists, and in fact, over 25 percent of our LGBT employee resource group members are not identified as LGBT – they are Allies.

So, SuperHeroes AND Sidekicks CAN Change the World. You may be an Ally, and on some days YOU ARE – Wonder Woman. And perhaps a SuperHero like you could use one of us to be YOUR sidekick.

So, I may not have convinced you, but you know what? You may not believe in Super Heroes. You may not believe in Sidekicks. You don’t have to believe, if an Ally believes in you.

Constellation Brands Scores 100 on the HRC Corporate Equality Index!

Congratulations!

By Evelyn Bailey Constellation Brands, established in 1945 by Marvin Sands in the Finger Lakes region of New York as Canandaigua Industries, became in 2000 Constellation Brands, Inc. to reflect the scope of the company and its range of brands.

Constellation Brands has grown to become a significant player in the beverage alcohol industry with more than 100 brands in its portfolio; about 40 wineries, breweries and distilleries; and approximately 9,000 talented employees around the world.

In 2015 the Human Rights Campaign gave Constellation Brands a rating of 50 on the Corporate Equality Index (CEI) based on the following criteria: Corporate Equality Index Rating Criteria 1a Prohibits Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation (15 points) 1b Prohibits Discrimination Based on Gender Identity or Expression (15 points) 2a Offers Partner Health/Medical Insurance (15 points) 2b Has Parity Across Other “Soft” Benefits for Partners (10 points) (half credit for parity across some, but not all benefits) 2c Offers Transgender-Inclusive Health Insurance Coverage (10 points) 3a Firm-wide Organizational Competency Programs (10 points) 3b Has Employer-Supported Employee Resource Group OR Firm-Wide Diversity Council (10 points) Would Support ERG if Employees Express Interest (half credit) 4 Positively Engages the External LGBT Community (15 points) (partial credit of 5 points given for less than 3 efforts) 5 Responsible Citizenship Employers will have 25 points deducted from their score for a large-scale official or public anti-LGBT blemish on their recent records (-25 points) In 2015, Constellation Brands met the criteria for 2a, 2b, 3b, and 4.

In 2017 Constellation Brands has met ALL of the criteria to score 100 on the 2018 CEI. Constellation also was named a Best Place to Work for LGBTQ Equality for its efforts in diversity and inclusion in operations, hiring, benefits, training and community outreach. What an accomplishment in such a short period of time!

“We respect and celebrate the individuality, differences and uniqueness of our employees and are proud that this has been recognized by the Corporate Equality Index,” said Tom Kane, Constellation’s executive vice president and chief human resources officer. “Creating an environment where every employee has the opportunity to achieve their highest potential helps us grow as a company and be a better neighbor in the communities in which we live and work.”

Constellation Brands focuses on diversity and inclusion in many ways. With a broad focus from policies and procedures, to the experience employees have when working for Constellation, diversity and inclusion is being integrated into all levels of work. For example, the talent acquisition team participates in diverse recruitment and networking events with professional organizations such as Reaching Out MBA, Prospanica Society for Hispanics, National Black MBA and more, to ensure the company attracts employees that reflect its consumers and communities. The talent development team ensures an inclusive environment through courses on unconscious bias and creating an inclusive culture.

STSO and the Out Alliance are proud to recognize the giant steps forward Constellation Brands has taken to be supportive of the LGBTQ+ community nationwide. Congratulations!

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News to Use

Excellus won a 100 percent rating on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index.

Excellus gets perfect score on HRC Corporate Equality Index

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xcellus BlueCross BlueShield received a perfect score of 100 percent on the 2018 Corporate Equality Index (CEI), a national benchmarking survey and report on corporate policies and practices related to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) workplace equality, administered by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.

Excellus BCBS joins the ranks of (number) major U.S. businesses which also earned top marks this year.

“We’re proud to be recognized for

the fourth year in a row as one of the Best Places to Work for LGBTQ Equality,” said Joseph Searles, corporate director of diversity and workforce inclusion, Excellus BCBS. “Diversity and inclusion is an important part of our business and culture, and we value the background, experience, and creativity of all our employees.

“We’re proud of our cultural competence training programs,” Searles added, “and value our involvement with the greater LGBTQ community in upstate New York.”

Sady Fischer commented, “As a Board member of the Out Alliance, the Diversity & Inclusion Consultant at Excellus, and the Chair of our LGBTQ+ Employee Resource Group, Lifetime PRIDE, I couldn’t be prouder to work for an organization that values LGBTQ+ equity, supports our local Queer communities and our members, and is committed to being an LGBTQ+ inclusive employer!”

The 2018 CEI rated [number] businesses in the report, which evaluates LGBTQ-related policies and

practices including non-discrimination workplace protections, transgender-inclusive health care benefits, competency programs and public engagement with the LGBTQ community. Excellus BCBS’s efforts in satisfying all of the CEI’s criteria results in a 100 percent ranking and the designation as a Best Place to Work for LGBTQ Equality.

For more information on the 2018 Corporate Equality Index, or to download a free copy of the report, visit www.hrc.org/cei.

James Stoudemire from Buffalo at the CSEA meeting.

Photo: Bess Watts

Ove Overmyer, Teddy Williams and Harry Bronson at the CSEA social. Photo: Bess Watts

CSEA holds annual statewide meeting in Rochester The Civil Service Employees Association (CSEA) held their annual Statewide Union Delegates Meeting in Rochester this year with over 1200 CSEA members and staff attending.

The CSEA LGBT Committee, in conjunction with Pride at Work AFL-CIO, sponsored a social hour at the Out Alliance on Oct. 3. A significant crowd of LGBT allies and well-wishers attended. NYS Assemblymember Harry Bronson urged activism in this time of receding LGBT and labor rights.

9 LGBT Giving Circle presents 2017 grants The LGBT Giving Circle has awarded $30,000 in grants to 15 nonprofit organizations.

The variety of grants awarded by the Giving Circle demonstrates a special focus on programs for youth, while continuing support for a broad range of social service, cultural, and LGBT rights projects for people of all ages. Members, guests, and grantees attended a reception at the Century Club to celebrate the 2017 grants.

“In the current political climate, Giving Circle members are all too aware of the challenges facing LGBT people and others who are vulnerable. Youth, in particular, often have to deal with especially difficult situations,” said Angela Bonazinga, cochair of the Giving Circle, which was established in 2011 at Rochester Area Community Foundation. “We are pleased that so many organizations have stepped up to address these challenges and help to connect and develop more inclusive and nurturing communities across our eight-county region.”

The Giving Circle received applications from 29 organizations requesting more than $70,000 in support — the largest annual request in the group’s history. In the six years since it was founded, the LGBT Giving Circle has awarded more than $130,000 in grants while simultaneously growing its endowment to more than $130,000.

To achieve its mission, the Giving Circle awards grants to organizations that are LGBT-focused and to others serving the community at large that have demonstrated they are LGBT-inclusive in both their policies and their programs. The Circle has made LGBT inclusivity a priority in its work and, over the years, has been successful in helping a dozen organizations improve their policies to become fully inclusive.

The 15 grants approved by the Circle membership this year are: BOA Editions Ltd.: Publication and promotion of Cenzotle by Marcel Hernandez Castillo, $2,000 The Center for Teen Empowerment: 2018 Peace Initiatives, $3,000 The Children’s Agenda: Children’s Social-Emotional Health Needs Priority, $1,000 Empire Justice Center: Transgender name changes and gender clinics, $1,500 Gandhi Institute: School Climate Transformation Project at the Rochester City School District, $3,000 Greater Rochester Teen Book Fest: Bringing award-winning author Bill Konigsberg to the 2018 festival, $3,420 ImageOut: General operations for 2018 film festival, $2,000 Jewish Community Center: Production of Buyer and Cellar, $1,500

HEADLINES National and International News

Read the breaking national and international LGBTQ news five days a week on EmptyClosetNews/Facebook and outalliance. org, click on Empty Closet.

Australians vote yes on marriage equality

61.6 percent of Australian voters who participated in the survey endorse marriage equality. Since the results of the postal survey are nonbinding, it is now up to Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s government and the Australian Parliament to enact legislation ensuring marriage equality becomes a reality. -HRC

Media misgenders murdered Texas trans woman

A transgender woman was found shot dead by a county road near Corpus Christi, Texas, on Oct. 28; media initially misgendered her. The Nueces County sheriff’s office said that they responded to a report and found Stephanie Montez’s body. She is the 22nd or possibly 24th known trans victim this year. –LGBTQ Nation

Federal judge blocks Trump trans military ban

“This judge’s decision to block President Trump’s shameful transgender ban gives our military families hope that justice will ultimately prevail,” said American Military Partners Association President Ashley Broadway-Mack via press release.

LGBT Giving Circle: Angela Bonazinga, co-chair of the Giving Circle, opens the reception

Out Alliance (formerly Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley): Production of Rainbow Dialogues, $1,500 Rochester Area Interfaith Hospitality Network, Inc. (RAIHN): Homeless Emergency Funds, $2,000 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus: Production and performance of Two Boys Kissing, $2,000 Seneca Waterways Council – Boy Scouts: After-school scouting in the City of Rochester, $1,000 Spiritus Christi: Clinical care and peer support, $2,000 Victim Resource Center: Outreach to LGBT students in Wayne County, $2,080 Willow Domestic Violence Center: Services for LGBTQ victims of intimate partner violence, $2,000 The LGBT Giving Circle now has 90 member households. Annual membership contributions are split evenly between grantmaking for the coming year and an endowment to meet future needs.

To be eligible for grants, organizations must be a 501(c)3 charitable entity in the eight-county region served by the Community Foundation and must have a non-discrimination policy that is inclusive of LGBT people or be in the process of developing one. Projects and activities need to align with the mission and scope of the Giving Circle, which is to support organizations that serve, are inclusive of, or are allied with the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community to enhance and strengthen our region.

For more information on the Giving Circle, visit www.racf.org/LGBT.

Ga. trans woman is 25th murder victim this year

Candace Towns became the 25th transgender woman murdered in the U.S. this year after being found shot to death at the top of a driveway on Oct. 31 in Macon, Georgia. The 30-year-old African American had been reported missing since Oct. 28 and was found three days later.

–NewNowNext.com

Danica Roem becomes first out trans state legislator

Virginia House of Delegates candidate Danica Roem becomes the first out transgender person to win and serve in a state legislature – and the only out trans state legislator in the entire United States. –Victory Fund, NCLR, GLAD

38 of 61 LGBTQ Victory Fund-endorsed candidates win election

Wins included historic victories by transgender candidates in school boards, city councils and the Virginia House of Delegates. Among the victorious candidates are Jenny Durkan, lesbian candidate for mayor of Seattle; Danica Roem, trans candidate for Virginia House of Delegates; and Andrea Jenkins and Phillipe Cunningham, trans candidates for Minneapolis City Council.

California approves LGBT-inclusive history textbooks According to Joseph Patrick McCormick on pinknews.co.uk: California has become the first state to approve LGBT-inclusive history books for primary schools. The California state board of education on Nov. 10 approved the 10 new textbooks for K-8 schools. In doing so the state became the first in the US to approve LGBT-inclusive textbooks.

Canada apologizes to LGBTQ+ citizens

On Nov. 28, the Government offered a formal apology to LGBTQ Canadians, as PM Justin Trudeau said, “for the persecution & injustices they have suffered, and to advance together on the path to equality & inclusion.” -pinknews.co.uk

Here are some of our favorite blogs and websites for national and international LGBTQ news: • pinknews.co.uk • Towleroad.com • queerty.com • JoeMyGod.com • GayCityNews.com • TheAdvocate.com • LGBTQnation.com • gaystarnews.com

Joe Russo, Psy.D., CGP

nge a h to C t e k Roc

Licensed Psychologist Certified Group Psychotherapist 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 313 Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: (585) 506-6096 E-mail: joerussopsyd@gmail.com

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Depression ▼ Grief/Loss ▼

Trauma ■ ▼ Relationships ▼

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Bi/Gay Men’s Therapy Group

Finding Home Again: Karen James

By Rowan Collins

been volunteering with the Alliance for over a year and has found meaningful friendships in her time here.

Beyond the physical space between her and her sons, she says the most interesting thing is the shift in their emotional relationships: “I’m learning to be the parent of three adult men.

Versus the parent who has to constantly keep them focused.

It’s a new place…The biggest fear of any mother of young Black males is that we’ll lose our children to violence. I wanted to keep them so safe but they’re men now. And that’s a hard transition to make. I don’t have to shelter them anymore. They get to be who they are.”

“I’ve also been in recovery for 25 years and my sons… aren’t! I’ve started to enjoy the peace and calm.”

While she navigates the transition from full-time

“

It’s a strange place, but a good place.”

Karen James recently found herself with an empty nest. For the first time in almost 40 years, there are no kids (or, rather, adult children) in her house.

James, who has three grown sons, says she struggled earlier in the summer when her youngest moved out of her house and in with his girlfriend.

“I felt abandoned, I really did. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never in my entire adult life lived alone. I was terrified.”

After spending time “feeling her feelings”, as she says, and isolating herself, James started to take small steps to reclaim her space and make her home truly hers. Some of these steps, like rearranging and buying matching plates and silverware (“Finally!”), were not noticeable from the outside, but made her feel more relaxed and in control.

“Being at the Alliance helped, too. Doing things for my community helped. And then all of a sudden I decided to take my space back.”

Other steps were much larger. James started flying her rainbow pride flag outside of her home, something she did not do when her sons lived at home.

“I wouldn’t hang a flag [before] because I was afraid that it would cause [my sons] hardship in the neighborhood but now I don’t care

what anyone thinks. It’s hanging on my garage and you can see it when you come down the street and that feels more authentic. It feels like I have permission to be proud now.”

Just this October, James took her first kid-free vacation in almost four decades down to Florida to visit friends. She found the experience transformative.

“It was an all-LGBTQ vacation…it wasn’t about what my sons needed to do.

It was about me!”

She muses that she has now given herself permission to focus on herself and her community in a way she didn’t have before. She has

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Life

Being an empty-nester is a “strange but good place”

mom to empty nester to independent woman with grown-up children, James takes time to reflect on the challenges she’s faced and what lies ahead for her.

“Being a mom was a big part of who I am but that’s not all I want to be. I want to be a person that is whole!”

In the meantime, her sons haven’t moved too far away so they’re still able to stop

Karen with her three sons and mother

Karen’s siblings and mom are still close-by

by and help take care of the dogs, Rock and Rosie, when James is out of town, or do laundry from time to time.

“I’m still wondering who’s gonna do the shoveling this winter!” James cracks.

Her advice to others experiencing the anxiety of an empty nest? Feel your feelings.

“Let them happen. Suddenly you start realizing this isn’t the worst thing that can happen, it’s kind of cool.

And find things to fill in the void, get involved with activities and organizations so you don’t go from all family, all the time to alone completely.”

With all the change and turbulence from this summer finally settled down, James is excited to tackle the next step

“I’m finally doing things for myself”

of her life: love.

“I want to experience love with a woman who completes me. I’m ready to share my life with someone who isn’t my son!”

“Rosie and Rock – yes, Rosie is named for the old women’s bar!”

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Community

Pride at Work The purpose of Pride At Work is to mobilize mutual support between the organized Labor Movement and the LGBT Community around organizing for social and economic justice.

We see full equality for LGBT Workers in their workplaces and unions.

We work towards creating a Labor Movement that cherishes diversity, encourages openness, and ensures safety & dignity.

We aim to educate the LBGT Community about the benefits of union membership for LGBT working people, and to build support and solidarity for the union movement in the LGBT community.

We intend to do this in the spirit of the union movement’s historic motto, “An Injury to One is An Injury to All.” We oppose all forms of discrimination on the job and in our unions based on sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, race, national or ethnic origin, age, disability, religion o political views.

Pride at Work (PAW) Rochester-Finger Lakes Chapter is the increasingly visible voice of GLBT organized labor in the Genesee Valley region and has initiated significant outreach to the local labor community, with positive results.

Meetings are the first Thursday of the month at 5:30 p.m. Call for location, information on becoming a member or a schedule of upcoming activities. 585426-0862 Business Website Address: http://prideatwork.org/ Other Website: http://prideatwork.blogspot.com/

Dignity-Integrity Since March, 1975, Dignity-Integrity Rochester has been welcoming all who come through our doors, worshiping every week at 5pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street, at the corner of Broad St. We have the following

services and activities for the months of December 2017 and January 2018 December Services: 1st Sunday: Episcopal Liturgy, with music and Healing Service 2nd Sunday: Catholic Liturgy, with music 3rd Sunday: Episcopal Liturgy 4th Sunday: Christmas Eve, no

service or potluck this evening.

5th Sunday: New Year’s Eve: House Mass with Catholic Liturgy (call Hotline to get address & join us!)

January Services: 1st Sunday: Episcopal Liturgy, with music and Healing Service 2nd Sunday: Catholic Liturgy, with music 3rd Sunday: Episcopal Liturgy 4th Sunday: Prayers to start the Week followed by Potluck.

The theme for the January potluck is “Comfort Food for Body and Soul”. It should be cold by January, so something warm will taste great!

You could bring soul food or a batch of your favorite cookies…whatever defines comfort to you. There is always plenty, so don’t worry if you’ve no time to shop or cook. All are welcome!! After each service during the remainder of the month we gather for fellowship around a tasty coffee hour and go out to a local restaurant for dinner. Join us anytime!

JOIN US: Friday, December 22nd at 7pm is the 11th Annual Christmas Hymn Sing! Tim Schramm will lead us on piano and organ in singing many of your favorites, followed by a cookies & punch reception. Take a break from shopping and wrapping to sit back and enjoy the spirit of the season. If you haven’t been to this before, be sure to mark your calendar and join us!

Remember that you can always call the Hotline at 585-234-5092 or check our website at www.di-rochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

RIT/NTID Spectrum Spectrum is an organization that focuses on the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and allied individuals at the Rochester Institute of Technology/National Technical Institute for the Deaf.

We host various community services. We work in conjunction with RITGA, RIT, and the Out Alliance.

We want to spread the word about our group for as much support as possible.

Business Website Address: https:// www.facebook.com/RITSpectrum Address: 1 Lomb Memorial Drive

Third Presbyterian Church Third Presbyterian Church is a community of diverse people united by a common faith in Jesus Christ and by meaningful worship and service. We welcome all who are seeking to live a life of Christian faith and discipleship.

LGBT persons are welcomed as full partners in ministry.

Childcare is available at most other major church events. Please check with the church office to confirm availability. Wheel chair accessible and looped for the hearing impaired.

Third Presbyterian Church is a

proud supporter of the Out Alliance.

Website Address: http://www. thirdpresbyterian.org/ Address: 4 Meigs Street

ROMANS November was a busy month for ROMANS members. There were two nude swims sponsored by Naturist Rochester -- one at a large athletic club facility and another one for Men Only at a unique one-of-a-kind cozy setting in the basement of an old house.

There was also the after Thanksgiving party hosted by a member couple where ROMANS members mingled with the members of Syracuse Naked Men in a safe and friendly environment Of course, our members also celebrated Thanksgiving with their relatives and friends.

ROMANS is planning to have a traditional but nude Holiday celebration in December at a member’s home in Rochester.

If you are interested in some nude adventures, come to join us. Check us out on our website at http://www. wnyromans.com/. ROMANS is a social club for gay and gay-friendly male nudists over 21. We host nude social events in and nearby Rochester neighborhood. For more information, contact us at message line 585-3548979, by E-mail wnyromans@yahoo. com or via regular mail at PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Open Arms MCC Sunday morning service is at 10:30 a.m. and we have our Children’s Sunday School during the service.

Weekly Bible study is on Wednesdays, 11 a.m to 12 p.m.

Teen/Tween Sunday School will be on Dec. 3 and Jan. 7 and refreshments will be served.

In December we will once again have our Angel Tree to help make Christmas a little merrier for some local children.

Our Annual “Cocoa, Cookies, and Caraoke” is on Saturday, Dec. 16 from 6 to 8 p.m. and our Christmas Eve Service is Sunday at 7 p.m. We hope you can join us for these celebrations of Christmas!

For updated information on upcoming events and to view our facilities, check our website: openarmsmcc.org.

We are located at 707 East Main St., across from the Delta Sonic Car Wash. Free parking is available in front and to the side of our building.

Our Community Center and Sanctuary are available for rental check our Craigslist ads for prices and pictures of our spaces.

Our Pastor, Brae Adams, has office hours on Wednesdays, from 10a.m. to 2 p.m. and by appointment. (Please call first to make sure she’s available.)

Open Arms regular office hours are Thursdays and Fridays from 12 to 4:00 p.m. and our phone number is (585) 271-8478.

Writing from the Gut: Rachel McKibbens

13 I’d never expected to be. The visceral, femme narrative was one I could find myself in. I’d denied so much of myself growing up—I was a self-hating misogynist. Sexton’s work allowed me to see into the complicated inner turmoil of being a mother and wife and woman living with mental illness. Her voice allowed me to recognize my own.

To shed all the decades of shame that had silenced me.

J.M.: You had the opportunity to teach poetry through the Healing Arts Program at Bellevue Hospital. Could you tell me about that experience?

R.M.: I did a TEDx talk a few years back about it. That will explain more than I ever could here. In a nutshell, it was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Those students remain the bravest, must vulnerable writers I have ever taught and I will forever be indebted to them. They helped me open up about my own lived experiences and struggles with mental illness. It was something my family never talked about. Those students gifted me my language.

J.M.: I’m reading Mammoth right now and it focuses primarily on the loss of your niece. How

did writing this chapbook help you process that loss? What was it like for you to share that part of your life with the world and to actually read these poems out loud?

R.M.: It’s the most impossible grief you can imagine—the loss of a child—and I had to write it or my head was going to explode. A lot of those poems were written in a partially dissociated state. I was so buried beneath sorrow and rage. It is still a hard book to read from. I have to spend all day getting mentally prepared to confront those poems. I documented my niece’s treatments and her health on Facebook, so in a way, we had the support of the literary community and friends abroad to detangle all the emotions. To help me navigate all that brutal terrain. There was so much hope. So much fight. When she passed, people responded as if she were someone they had known.

They’d been rooting for her and her family the whole way. The book was as much a gift to them as it was her mama. It needed to happen, to allow healing to start.

[Ed note: the second part of this interview will appear in our February issue and online. See p. 27 for a review of the Spirit Room]

Poet & activist Rachel McKibbens (photo courtesy of subject)

By Javi Mason “I don’t care if white readers can’t relate. I’m here to tell my stories, and those of my ancestors and peers who are no longer on this planet. This intent requires me to be as Mexican and bold and queer and gutsy as I can be.” - Rachel McKibbens, Queer Mexican Poet and Activist When I purchased my copies of Mammoth and Pink Elephant at a fund raiser for The Spirit Room, author Rachel McKibbens advised me to read Mammoth first so I could ease into the second book when the time arrived. I heeded her words and I am glad I have. Though only a few pages, Mammoth is not a chapbook one can easily read from start to finish. It chronicles the loss of the author’s young niece, a period that devastates McKibbens to this day. Vulnerability, rage, and a penetrating sense of loss exudes from each piece—to the extent that it resembles the grief I have experienced when I lost my grandmother in 2004.

Her ability to breathe life into words is one of the numerous reasons why the California native is crowned a legend in the Slam Poetry community. McKibbens conceals nothing, utilizing worldbuilding and conviction to pen autobiographical poetry that many fans are emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually unprepared for. In addition, she advocates for those with mental illness and domestic violence survivors and hosts the Pink Door Retreat, a week-long safe haven for Queer writers of color. And she has no plans of slowing down as she has recently published the bestselling poetry collection Blud and hosts Poetry and Pie Night at The Spirit Room, an establishment known for its cocktails, amazing dishes, and profound respect for New York State’s supernatural history.

I had the honor of interviewing McKibbens about her writing, The Spirit Room, and her advocacy as a Queer Mexican Femme and Conjure Woman.

Javi Mason: When did you discover your love for the written word?

Rachel McKibbens: I’d always been a reader, devouring every book I could get my hands on in my grandmother’s sordid library. I was reading Stephen King, V.C. Andrews & Danielle Steele novels by the time I was in kindergarten. Horrible! LOL J.M.: Who are your literary influences and why?

R.M.: Definitely Gabriel García Márquez, Anne Sexton & Judy Blume, in reverse chronological order. Once I read Judy Blume’s angsty pre-teen books, I felt truly seen. I was such a confused kid, struggling with my gender identity. I had all this masculine energy and foul-mouthedness from being raised by violent men, and every girl in Blume’s books was confused or misunderstood, so I identified with that deeply. Márquez came later, in high school. It was the brightest storytelling I’d ever encountered. I felt as if a small door opened up inside me that got bigger as I turned the page.

The magic intertwined with the real experiences felt like the most honest text I’d ever read. The poetry of Anne Sexton grounded me in a way

Martha M. Howden, LCSW, CASAC Anxiety • Depression Alcohol • Stress • Grief Relationship • Family Plan Rectification Work Holotropic Breathwork • Specializing in work with individuals and families in the Coming Out process Martha M. Howden, lcsw, casac 945 E. Henrietta Road, Suite A6 Rochester, New York 14623 Phone: 585 272-1760 Fax: 585 272-8986 Most Insurances Accepted

14

ROC Out Youth

Youth Voices: Jack

By Jack T. Mountain Hi, my name is Jack, I am in 8th grade in a public school living with two parents, an older brother and a cat, of course. I’d like to share my experience as a young transgender male.

Being “born as the wrong gender” can be a tough experience, and can also sometimes be a hard topic to talk about. My goal for writing this piece is to reach out to those who need to know that they’re not alone in what they’re going through.

Let’s start at the beginning. When I first knew that there was something “off” about me, I knew exactly what it was, I wanted to be a boy. At the time, I had no idea what being transgender was or what it meant. I thought I was wrong and weird for not wanting to be a girl, I tried acting more like one including wearing makeup and more “girly” clothes to see if I was just crazy, nothing was working.

Through that time I was depressed,

I didn’t like who I was, I hated going to school where I was expected to be someone I wasn’t. After some time, through news and the internet, is when I had heard of the word “transgender”. The minute I heard the word and what it meant, I knew that’s what I was. I started to research all these things about transitioning and people’s stories and how much better they felt after finally being able to live as their true selves.

Almost immediately I started using male pronouns and the name Jack with my two close friends. They were very supportive after I came out to them. There was one friend who I didn’t come out to until later, they ended up being supportive, but we don’t hang out much anymore. After a while of just being my true self with friends, it wasn’t enough. I decided to soon come out to my family.

After a night or two earlier having a bit of an emotional breakdown, I knew it was time. The next morning in the car on the way to school I wrote on the back of a small white

Dawn’s dog shares some commentary. The B-Out in Theatre Club worked on cartoons about their lives as they immersed themselves in Fun Home.

bookmark that I didn’t want to be a girl. I wanted to be a boy, I hated my body and wasn’t happy with who I was. I threw it at my mom once we got to school, told her to read it, and I practically ran into school.

I was so nervous that whole day and stayed after school with one of my most trusted teachers. This teacher had previously talked to the class about her experience with her daughter being gay. She helped me calm down a lot.

My mom texted me that she would be home later and when she came home we had a really long talk.

She said she accepted me and loved me and would support me, but because she was not fully educated and didn’t understand about being transgender, she asked (kind of ridiculous) things like, “Why can’t you just be a butch lesbian?” Which we both laugh about today because I had not mentioned anything about sexuality and being transgender has nothing to do with that (I forgave her for that after she understood why it was crazy).

My mom is now my biggest supporter and advocate!

After a week or so I let my mom talk to my dad about it, and eventually my older brother. My mom set up a family Facebook page to tell all of our close friends and family. My mother did some research, and thankfully, was pointed in the direction of Dr. Emma Forbes-Jones. Dr. Emma has been a great help and through her, we started going to a monthly support group for transgender youth and their parents. I’ve met a lot of great friends in the group. I marched in the Pride parade with these friends, what a great weekend at the Pride Festival! Over the past summer I obtained a legal name change to Jack and made plans to transition in school this current year.

I was very nervous, but things have been going quite well. All of my teachers are supportive and willing to help me if I need it, the kids at school didn’t ask too many questions. I just recently started testosterone, which is a big part of my journey (I have a huge fear of needles, so my first shot took about 1.5 hours to finally do it, tears involved!).

I am so grateful for my amazing supportive family and friends, the GSA (gay straight alliance) at my school to provide a safe and supportive place for the kids there, and especially to the awesome people at the Out Alliance who dedicate their time

to help, support, and educate people of the LGBTQ+ community in the area. I love being able to take part in so many fun events and meet so many people with the Out Alliance youth programs!

Thank you all. ~Jack T. Mountain

Events to Watch Out For! Hang Out Days: Every Monday and Thursday from 4:30-6:30pm at the LGBTQ Resource Center. Do homework, work on group projects, get tutoring, and just chill.

Free and open to all LGBTQ+ youth and allies.

12/5 Tangent 5:30-6:30pm – Seasonal Stims! We’ll be building small sensory objects to help deal with strong emotional reactions during the holidays.

12/8 Drag Movie Club: 6-8pm.

Come learn about the history of drag through cinema 12/15 HoliGAY Dance 7-10pm.

Free, all youth are welcome!

Drag Story Hour returns!

Drag sensation Mrs. Kasha Davis returns to the Blackfriars stage on Dec. 30 for the next installment of Drag Story Hour. This month’s selection is “Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress.”

Drag Story Hour teaches love and acceptance, gives strength to kids who see themselves differently, and serves as a resource for parents who need support or want to learn more. The Out Alliance partners with Blackfriars on this project and will have a representative at this and every story hour to help answer tough questions and to act as a community resource for families who might benefit from Alliance programming and expertise.

“Children need adults to provide them with the opportunity to express their true and authentic selves and I believe we need children to remind us that no matter how complicated adults make this world, we are all seeking one common goal: TO BE LOVED,” said Mrs. Kasha Davis.

Come ready to listen, share, and explore! Performances take place at Blackfriars Theatre, 795 E Main Street, Rochester, NY 14605 and are free.

See more photos, page 17 Halloween: Our spooky youth Halloween dance grew some amazing costumes!

The Out Alliance

moments. The Out Alliance took home ‘Best Local Activist Group’, with Executive Director Scott Fearing present to accept the honor. The Alliance previously won the category in 2010, 2012, 2014, and 2015; the category did not appear in 2016’s poll.

ROC Pride took home the first win in the brand new ‘Best Local Cultural Festival’ category.

“Best of Rochester” is entirely reader submitted and voted, with 100 categories making the list this year.

See the rest of “Best of Rochester” at rochestercitynewspaper.com

Olivia Page: Volunteer of the Month

By Rowan Collins Olivia Page stepped into the Alliance’s Speakers Bureau with fervor and grace in March 2015 – when she was a senior in high school.

A Hilton, NY native, Olivia came out before graduation and attended our SpeakOUT training where she immediately impressed facilitators and participants alike.

Olivia has delivered over 50 workshops and spoken to 1,900 people of all ages and backgrounds across Western New York since then. As the Education Coordinator throughout Olivia’s tenure with the Alliance, I have had the distinct honor of working with her time and again. Her poise, integrity, and honesty are an inspiration and leave a lasting impression on everyone she meets.

When not dedicating her time and efforts to the LGBTQ Academy and Speakers Bureau at the Out Alliance, Olivia is pursuing a degree in political science at MCC and works in a neighborhood coffee shop. Here’s what she had to say about her work with us and living for hard conversations: “I got involved with the Alliance as soon as I figured out [they] existed and that got the ball rolling. A [member of the local trans community] had died and it really impacted me. I feel like this is the biggest impact I can make at the moment.

“I’m passionate about my community. I don’t see a lot of positive representation for us. So, I think the only way to change someone’s mind about something is by

going and having a conversation face-to-face…which makes me deeply uncomfortable! I have stage fright like nobody’s business and even to this day it rocks me to my core, but you get through it.

“I live for those encounters that I dread. When I can meet someone who maybe doesn’t like the trans community and have a rational face-to-face conversation with them.

“Most of the work I do [with the Alliance], I’m talking to people who aren’t necessarily in the LGBTQ+ community. But in my dayto-day, I find myself coming across more and more community members. It’s easy doing this work to sometimes assume there aren’t a lot of people but our community but I’m realizing now that they’re all around me, and that’s really cool.”

Alliance wins Best of Rochester

Rochester readers voted the Out Alliance as one of City Newspaper’s “Best of Rochester” for the fifth year.

ROC Pride also took home an award to round out the night.

The reveal of winners took place at Village Gate on October 24th and social media was abuzz from nominees and recipients within

LGBTQ Academy continues amazing impact Each year, the LGBTQ Academy at the Out Alliance delivers hundreds of workshops and trainings across the Rochester area, New York, and the country on creating LGBTQ+ inclusive and welcoming spaces. If you’ve been keeping up with our monthly lists, you know that the Academy works with everyone – from K-12 schools to health clinics to colleges to corporations. October was one of our busiest months and saw our team working with local organizations as well as a national laboratory outside of Chicago!

Here’s where the team went in October: First Baptist Church of Rochester Pittsford Mendon High School Alexander Central School Monroe #1 BOCES Hobart and William Smith Colleges Upstate NY Healthcare Human Resources Conference Nazareth College University of Rochester School of Nursing Rochester Regional Health at Unity Hospital Fairport Savings Bank St. John Fisher College GRC MSW Program College of Brockport Springfield Technical Community College (Massachusetts) SUNY Oswego Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy (Illinois)

15

A Red Carpet Affair: Red Ball 2018 is Feb. 10 Join the Alliance for a night of glamor and fun at the Red Ball. A gala event for our 21+ community during Valentine’s Day week, the Red Ball will be held at The Diplomat Banquet Center (1 Diplomat Way, Rochester NY 14606) on Feb. 10, 7-11pm.

This year’s theme is Hollywood Glam so bring your sweetheart out dancing in black-tie style. Or dress as one of your favorite movie stars!

No partner? No problem! Who knows who you’ll meet over a drink, or at the Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres buffet. You may even find that special someone among the many baskets that will be raffled off towards the end of the evening.

Tickets are $25 at the door, $20 (per person) and $35 (per couple) in advance. Pick up your tickets at OutAlliance.org, the Rochester LGBTQ+ Resource Center, The Bachelor Forum, Parkleigh, Hedonist Artisan Chocolates, and Dalai Java.

Mention “Red Ball Promotion” for special room rates at the Radience Inn and Suites.

Come dance the night away with your community and music from DJ Solid Bear. In Hollywood, anything can happen!

Out Alliance Gifts: Come see what we have to offer!

Got Gifts?

Looking for that perfect, pride-ful gift for the holidays?

Look no further than the Rochester LGBTQ Resource Center.

We now sell and carry a huge stock of LGBTQ+ themed gifts, apparel, flags, buttons, jewelry, ornaments, pendants, key chains, bumper stickers, pins, and more!

Stop by the LGBTQ Resource Center to see the full array and pick up the perfect gift for friends, family, or a special someone(s).

The Scene

MISS GAY ROCHESTER: Legends were made at the Miss Gay Rochester pageant on Nov. 12 at Harro East. L-R: Samantha Vega, Mercedes Sulay, Kim McEachern, (Miss Gay Rochester 2018, DeeLicious), Wayne Esposito, V’ta St. James, Veronica Lace, Kelly Valasquez-Lord.

MOCHA ANNIVERSARY: A packed house watched MOCHA celebrate its 20 years of service to the community, Nov. 9 at the MOCHA Center. Photo credit: Matthew Ragusa

HRC SECOND THURSDAY Networking Event, which benefitted the Out Alliance SAGE Vets Program

PHOTO: SUSAN JORDAN

HONOR FOR COLLEEN: Out Alliance Board Chair Colleen Raimond received the RBJ’s 40 Under 40 award, Nov. 16

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YOUTH DANCE: Youth Group members had spooky fun at the Halloween Dance.

AMBUSH ROCHESTER met at the East End Tavern

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE: Community members, including Assemblymember Harry Bronson, City Councilwoman Elaine Spaull and City of Rochester Liaison to the LGBT Community Andreas Rau, listen to speakers at MLK Park. Photo: Doug Meszler

18

Out & About

Hawley brings me to surrounding areas of Pennsylvania

By Merle Exit A New Jersey venture took me into Pa., starting with the town of Hawley’s Silk Mill. Quite old and largely spread out.

I visit the Mill Market and Art Gallery. Market is not spacious but has a great deal of local products, mostly packaged. Cheeses, local beer, breads, freezer items, some produce and a small option of ready-made sandwiches and salads.

570-390-4440 Juan H. Espino owns a gallery abutting the market. The artist is said to capture a “slice of life” in rural America with its present day charm; a longing to return to the honest simplicity of childhood with streets, landscapes, festivities and especially people and colors of the four seasons in which he paints. www. hawleysilkmill.com Time to check in at Comfort Inn in Lake Ariel. Bright and clean lobby with a cheerful, helpful staff. An accessible room was excellent in size. It had a microwave and refrigerator, which I needed to store leftovers from dinner as well as a few bottles of water. Continental breakfast included “you make” waffles and

ready-made eggs as well. www.comfortinnpoconolakes.com Back to Hawley I visit Penny Lane Candies located on Church Street, the main road. This cute store in the center of Hawley is a quaint throwback to simpler times. It is chock full of all that old-fashioned candy that was not so old-fashioned when I was a kid. Most candies are $8.99 per lb.

Ritter’s Farm, located at 991 Hamlin Hway, is a “must stop.” Pumpkins and other fall squash were the front features. I was inundated with choices of locally made products. There was a cherry spread rather than a jam or jelly. Didn’t know how good it was until trying it at home, mixing it in with sour cream to cut the sweetness.

Then there was this raspberry, orange and ginger spread. I couldn’t miss buying a bag of freshly made apple cider donuts with cinnamon and sugar. Having tried honey crisp apples at a supermarket, I wasn’t too thrilled about the apple cider version, until I tasted an apple cider “slurpy”.

Nothing but the apples and totally sweet the way I like apples to be.

Check to website www.rittersfarmmarket.com for their monthly farm to table events that include wine tasting, hors d’oeuvres, five courses and entertainment.

Heading to South Sterling for the

romantic French Manor Inn and Spa, located atop Huckleberry Mountain.

Run by the sisters Bridget Weber and Genevieve Reese, this is one elegant Bed and Breakfast country inn and probably the most romantic place in the Poconos. No, you’re not going to find a room with a private pool shaped as a champagne glass. Nor will you encounter even a tiny mass of people. You will see old stone chateaus and accommodations such as one newer building that houses six romantic suites, each with a fireplace, Jacuzzi, frig and a private balcony with a view of the Northern Pocono Mountains.

My private suite had a balcony overlooking the countryside, a relaxing Jacuzzi, and a spacious living area surrounding the king size bed. Dinner was a work of art… for the eyes and the taste buds. The Spa housed a pool and hot tub, and was staffed to provide massage, facial, and beauty treatment. I was truly Queen for a Day. After a delicious morning breakfast, a brisk walk in the fall air capped off a wonderful stay at this beautiful place. www.thefrenchmanor.com Happy holidays to all. Perhaps you may want to give a gift of The Book of Lives and Legacies, a lasting honor at the National Women’s Hall of Fame in Seneca Falls. www.womenofthehall.org/book-of-lives-legacies

Columnist

Scenemaker: Susan Jordan Favorite color: Purple.

Pets?

Two cats. Merlin, Russian Blue tom; Lyra a.k.a. Pussy Riot, black shorthair female.

Interests/obsessions: Reading and writing.

Favorite writers?

Virginia Woolf, Sappho (most of her work was destroyed but read Hymn to Aphrodite), Shakespeare, Keats, Audre Lorde, Emily Dickinson, Zora Neale Hurston, Lady Murasaki (Tale of Genji – there are several translations – it’s a 9th century mixture of ancient Japanese ghost story and Jane Austen), Black Mountain poets Charles Olson and Robert Duncan – two great American 20th century poets who most people have never heard of, because America, unlike most cultures, doesn’t honor or even know its poets.

TV show you’re addicted to?

Deadliest Catch. Crab fishermen (and a few women) processing their emotional issues in front of the cameras while hauling 800-lb. iron pots for 30 hours in subzero temps, with huge waves crashing over them. But the real star is the Bering Sea.

Movie?

Anything by Akira Kurosawa. Or the classic Marx Brothers movies, just because those crazy guys were so talented.

Halloween costume?

Always a witch, since I was 6.

Signature dance move?

I-think-I’ve-thrown-my-hip-out…

Death Row meal?

French onion soup, Maine lobster dinner, chocolate brownies with walnuts and a bottle of Krug champagne.

That should finish me off!

Music you’re listening to?

Mozart and Pharoah Sanders. Not at the same time.

Dream vacation?

A cruise in the Greek isles.

Worst habit?

Anxiety.

Worst nightmare?

Anxieties coming true.

Phrase you over-use?

Deadline is the 15th!

What makes you laugh?

The Marx Brothers and my cats.

What super power would you want?

I’d like my own starship/time travel machine. Like Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s in “Cosmos”.

Motto: “Frivolity is a stern taskmaster.” – Zippy the Pinhead More serious motto: Smash patriarchy!

Merlin and Lyra indicate that it’s time for dinner. Photo: Susan Jordan

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Rev. Irene Monroe of Harvard Divinity School seeks to explore the intersections of justice, race, gender, sexual orientation and religion.

Faith Matters: Donna Brazile’s revenge with “Hacks”

By Rev. Irene Monroe Since the election of Donald Trump, most Americans on both sides of the political aisle feel American democracy is under siege. The infighting going on in both the Democratic and Republican camps has cast a pall on the country’s future.

In this environment of our falling Republic, Donna Brazile has written a book titled “Hacks: The Inside Story of the Break-ins and Breakdowns That Put Donald Trump in the White House.”

Brazile, a huge LGBTQ ally, is the former chairwoman of the DNC, the first African-American to manage a presidential campaign, and a longtime Democratic strategist with the reputation inside the Beltway as “a one-stop shop for fixing sticky problems.”

Amazon depicts “Hacks” as “equal parts campaign thriller, memoir, and roadmap for the future.” But truth be told, “Hacks” has detonated a political bombshell with mixed reviews.

“This book is a triumph,” Walter Isaacson wrote. He’s the biographer of New York Times best sellers “Steve Jobs”, “Einstein”, and now “Leonardo da Vinci.”

However, the responses to Brazile’s book resonate more with what Jonathan Capehart, the first openly black gay male and member of the Post editorial board, tweeted: “Gurrrll, what happened? People are mad.

By people I mean Democrats.”

“Hacks” has two narrative strands: one story of the Russians relentless hacking into DNC computers. And the other story about the colossal missteps of the Clinton campaign and her tight-fisted one-sided financial control of the party a year before her nomination, revealing sadly how the process was rigged against Sanders.

Brazile’s assertions about the Russian hacking are not being disputed. However, Brazile’s inflammatory “cancer” and “slave” references not only roiled the DNC but stirred up both Bernie supporters and African American voters nervously concerned, respectively.

With Senator Elizabeth Warren concurring that the DNC was rigged in Clinton’s favor, the statement cast a pall over our electoral process honoring fair play.

And, with race being the third rail in this country, Brazile’s statement “I am not Patsy the slave” —referring to Lupita Nyong’o’s character in “”Twelve Years a Slave” — doesn’t help the DNC, already perceived as racist and cheaters.

I get Brazile’s anger. She felt dissed by the DNC, even though she worked on every presidential campaign from 1976 through 2000. Brazile’s anger about being tethered to the financial control of the party to promote Clinton’s campaign and not promote those on the down-ballot is understood. However, she lodges her complaints in a manner that appears more out of desperation than determination.

On November 14, Brazile came to the Harvard Coop in Cambridge to talk about her book. She spoke to a not-so-rapt audience of Sanders supporters and Clinton die-hard fans.

Brazile may very well be speaking truth to power. However, the tone of the book and the interpretations of events read more like a revenge narrative than objectively reporting the facts in trying to salvage what’s left of this American democracy.

Out in Print

Queer Verse

Photo: Susan Jordan

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Two sonnets from “Ad Nauseum” by Tony Leuzzi “Nevada” by Imogen Binnie

By Hannah Love As one year comes to a close, a new one begins. As such a time occurs, we all look to the future and want to bring about change in our lives. From relationships, to coming out to friends and family. For some of us in the LGBT+ community that means transitioning.

While transition is not necessary for everyone in the trans community, or on the trans spectrum, some do go through with it.

Imogen Binnie is a trans author who writes fiction that finds a way to be very relatable. Nevada is one such novel about a woman named Maria.

In the story we follow her transition from Cow Land, Pennsylvania, to the streets of New York City, and even on a cross country road trip to the state of Nevada.

Maria is a 29-year-old trans woman with a girlfriend and a few close friends. As we come to find out, there are a lot more aspects to her than just that. She deals with drug and alcohol use, she tends to space out and dissociate, she has fights with her girlfriend, and even has problems

at work. We get to see how she deals with these situations in her life, for better or for worse.

About halfway through the book we see her completely change her life and move away from New York. On the way she encounters James, who she believes is trans. Throughout her trip to Nevada she tries to help James get in touch with his feminine side.

In this way she becomes a mentor to him.

What I love about this book is how it brings a very refreshing look at what it means to be trans. As a young trans woman, this book helped me to originally come out. It showed me that trans people are normal people, and broke all preconceived notions I had about the trans community. In this way, Maria becomes a character that demystifies stigmas regarding the trans community and more.

I highly recommend this book to absolutely anyone. It is beautifully well-written, and is a staple in my library. If you are ever in need of a good book, I really suggest picking up Nevada.

10/24/17 Zelimkhan Bakaev. Yes, he was pretty, a playful, boyish, dark-haired thrush with sorrow shining from his eyes.

I study the strangeness of his name, brush his digitized cheek with my thumb, swipe left, enlarge, swipe left twice more and linger on his almost grin.

Now I click a video, download a song I can’t understand, read his story yet again: the return home for a sister’s wedding, his torture, thirst, oblivion. What if grief is just desire distorted into guilt? all day I long to lie with the dead.

11/8/17 Inscription: “For James on his birthday— Richard, 1960.” Jacket flap: “the theme of love with its attendant rapture and despair.” Some poems: “Water Music”; “Je Est Un Autre”; “The Encounter”; “Bitter Lemons”; “Byron.”

I wonder if James ever read them.

I wonder if, when presented, it was tossed beside the uncorked wine, if James unknotted Richard’s tie, gently bit his bottom lip, then led him to the other room, the only room that either, in a wave of rapture or despair, would dare to call the other.

Queer Action

Happy Birthday

By Kerrigan J. Merz I was born November 21, 1990 in a small North Carolina town. When I was nine years old, November 20 was christened Transgender Day of Remembrance. I wouldn’t learn of this correlation, or what it would mean in my life, for many years to come.

To grow up to be a transgender woman wasn’t even a possibility; I didn’t even know people could do such a thing until I was a teenager.

The South has a way of forcing the truth down deep under politeness. For a girl of fourteen, entering the wrong puberty, I learned quickly what to keep secret. I don’t need to bore you with the details: “growing up trans is rough” is not the most original sentiment. In short, it feels like parts of you are dying, keeping yourself locked up so tight. I thought it would be better when I came out – age twenty-one, I gathered myself a small wardrobe of maxi skirts, and all the tightfitting sweaters I could find, the only things I could find to maximize my fat body’s latent curves, the gentle Carolina winter my only assistance from the universe.

It was not better. While I had plenty of friends to support me, that dying feeling never felt as present as it did that last year of college. No matter how hard I tried to convey the message to my public that they should think twice about how they pronoun me, hoping that they might get the message and see me as something different than their “bro,” it was in vain. It was terrifying, too, broadcasting that message after dark. The thing about the South – maybe

Transgender Day of Remembrance: The community-sponsored event, Nov. 20th, at Trillium, honored those lost to violence. Photo: Carol Ebersole-Weiss

everywhere – is that people are braver from inside their moving trucks. Some nights walking home, that’s all I could think about. “They’ll probably just shout at me again. It’s far too much work to kill me, and they’ve probably got somewhere to be.”

Yet, despite my legitimate fears, I even to this day feel disconnected from what it seems I am supposed to feel on TDoR. Intense empathy?

Yes. The worry that gruesome murder could happen to people I love? Absolutely. But a sincere fear for my own life, like I felt from many other trans folks who looked like me? I just can’t connect to it. I see myself too clearly – I grew up to be a white trans woman who works an office job. I am not in danger here, I am the danger. My complicity in being sad on this holiday and doing nothing for the rest of the year is the danger. My inaction in the face of the racism among my white peers, is the danger. A face like mine being the face of this day of mourning – that is the danger.

I worry for all my friends and chosen family, but I cannot be disingenuous. This year is maybe the most hostile in recent memory: we must take care of each other, especially those of us most vulnerable. For myself – and I know what I want for my birthday doesn’t really matter – someday before I die, I want the day before my birthday to be completely unmemorable, because nothing terrible happened.

Historic wins for Trans Community

By Rowan Collins November’s elections saw a slate of LGBTQ people, immigrants, POC, and women triumph in their bids for office across the country.

There were “firsts” in seemingly every result announced.

From Ravi Bhalla, Vi Lyles, Melvin Carter, Wilmot Collins, and Jenny Durkan’s mayoral wins as the first Sikh mayor of Hoboken, NJ, first Black female mayor of Charlotte, NC, first Black mayor of St. Paul, MN, first Black mayor in Montana, and first lesbian mayor of Seattle; to Hala Ayala and Elizabeth Guzman (first Latina delegates in VA), Sheila Oliver (first Black Lt. Gov of NJ), Justin Fairfax (first Black Lt. Gov of VA), Kathy Tran (first Asian-American delegate in VA), and so many others – it felt like the good results just poured in.

Some of the biggest victories came in the form of the ground-breaking election of transgender candidates.

The Trans United Fund, the nation’s only political action committee, ran an aggressive campaign for four trans candidates, three of whom took home historic wins on election night. “[We] ran the largest trans candidate focused campaign in history to support two transformative trans leaders of color. People said it couldn’t be done. We said that together, trans people and our allies could #MakeItTheFirst. And we’re just getting started,” read their victory email sent Wednesday, Nov 8.

Below are the record seven openly trans officials elected

across the country: Andrea Jenkins; elected to Minneapolis City Council.

First trans woman of color elected to the City Council of a major U.S. city.

Phillipe Cunningham; elected to Minneapolis City Council. First black trans man to be elected to public office in the U.S. Danica Roem; elected to the Virginia House of Delegates. First openly trans state legislator elected in the U.S. Lisa Middleton; elected to the City Council in Palm Springs, California. First trans person elected to public office in the state of California.

Tyler Titus; elected to the Erie Pennsylvania School Board. First trans person elected to public office in the state of Pennsylvania.

Gerri Cannon; elected to the School Board of Somersworth, New Hampshire Stephe Koontz; elected to Doraville, Georgia City Council When reached for comment, Monica Roberts, Trans United Fund national cochair, Transgriot editor, and activist said this: “I’m so proud and I can’t help but be struck by what it means that this happened in November, 12 days away from Trans Day of Remembrance. When we mourn the trans people we lost, we always say ‘rest in power’ and ‘not one more.’ What we did together across the country

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this week is what it means to take those intentions and aspirations and turn them into a reality. As a black, trans woman, that’s what these elections are all about.

In our hands, politics is a tool through which we can honor those that we have lost by harnessing our collective power, moving towards practical solutions and creating a country where #NotOneMore is more than a hashtag,”

WeExist plans free December tour of Women’s Rights NHP

By Shauna Marie O’Toole The December program of WeExistFLX is a tour of the Women’s Rights NHP for the Transgender Community. Please contact WeExistCoalitionFLX@gmail.com if you would like to be a part of this free tour.

Last month Melissa Grace Clark, a singer-songwriter, graced the stage at the Women’s Rights National Historical Park. Her 90-minute show was the latest program sponsored by the We Exist Coalition of the Finger Lakes.

Clark’s music is a wonderful combination of original and classic pieces with stories of her adventures in becoming Authentic.

MOCHA celebrates 20+ years of service to Rochester A vibrant, packed crowd filled The MOCHA Center on Water Street on a drizzly evening in early November to celebrate MOCHA’s 21 years as a vital community organization.

Founded in 1996 by Gary English, as the Men of Color Health Awareness Project, The MOCHA Center has been working for LGBTQ communities of color in Rochester and Buffalo for two decades. Counseling, testing, and referral services, education, prevention campaigns, drop-in hours, and support help to create home for all who walk through the doors.

Remarks from MOCHA staff and parent organization Trillium Health began the evening, which then turned to conversation and music. As some attendees departed, another wave of arrivals would come through the door to greetings from friends old and new.

The atmosphere was familial and the well-deserved celebration continued through the night.

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Shoulders

AIDS – Where do we go from here? NY State’s Goal: End the Epidemic by 2020!

By Evelyn Bailey In 2015, the Health Department announced that for the first time in the history of the AIDS epidemic, the annual number of new HIV diagnoses had fallen below 2,500. Additionally, no babies were born with HIV across the five boroughs in 2015.

Those record lows are steps forward in what Governor Andrew Cuomo called a “blueprint” to end the AIDS epidemic by 2020, an ambitious plan he announced in June 2014. Since the epidemic emerged in the 1980s, some 35 million people are known to have died from complications due to HIV and AIDS. In the United States, more than 1.2 million people live with HIV. In New York, nearly one in 10 residents are living with HIV. In 2015, Cuomo announced plans to invest $200 million in additional state funding toward initiatives to boost treatment, prevent exposure, and expand access to services – an increase over the $2.5 billion spent annually on state programs for people with HIV

and AIDS. In 2016, Cuomo unveiled more new initiatives, including tracking viral suppression rates of people who are HIV-positive, expanding access to HIV preventative services for youth patients, and increasing access to HIV/ AIDS related medical information and data for researchers, and to have zero deaths from AIDS and HIV transmission through injection drug use by 2020.

Can NY really end the AIDS Epidemic by 2020?

Kelsey Louie, CEO, Gay Men’s Health Crisis nonprofit and Member, Governor Cuomo’s New York State End-AIDS Task Force told the Voice in Dec., 2016: “What we’re up against are two things that not even the governor can address: Complacency and stigma. These are pervasive. When there’s stigma, people are less likely to talk about HIV, ask questions, get tested, and seek treatment. Governor Cuomo’s plan is achievable if the focus is to get the state to less than 750 new infections.”

In Dec. 2016 Michael Worobey, expert on virus evolution at U of A in Tuc-

son, and co-author of a study debunking the “Patient Zero” AIDS origin story, stated: “First, driving down transmission of HIV-1 to very low levels is absolutely an achievable goal. Second, I gather that Governor Cuomo’s proposed plan does not fund measures to provide clean needles for injecting drug users. That is a major shortcoming.”

Here in Rochester, Trillium Health and Dr. Bill Valenti, a member of the Governor’s Task Force, are committed to the task of ending the AIDS epidemic by 2020. The end of the AIDS epidemic in New York will occur when the total number of new HIV infections has fallen below the number of HIV-related deaths. With the end of the HIV epidemic in sight, Dr. Valenti is looking to reignite HIV awareness and rally public support to fund this effort.

Shoulders To Stand On applauds all of the energy, work, compassion and care that Trillium Health and Dr. Valenti have given to the Rochester community to stop the spread of AIDS and treat those infected. Much has been accomplished – there is yet more to do. Be a part of the solution – donate, volunteer and get tested!

For more information: https://www.trilliumhealth. org/en/257/2020

LGBT Giving Circle grant funds Rainbow Dialogues On Nov. 16, the LGBT Giving Circle awarded a $1,500 Grant to the Out Alliance for the 8th initiative of the Shoulders To Stand On (STSO) Program, Rainbow Dialogues: A Bridge From the Past to the Present.

The check was presented to Evelyn Bailey, Chair of the STSO Program, by Cathy Lewis, the GMC Partner (each applicant has a partner on the Grant Making Committee who is also the Grant Evaluator for the LGBT Giving Circle).

The Grant will be used for the second of a 2 part educational program, The Anthony Mascioli Rainbow Dialogues Humanities Archive Recognition Celebration (RDHARC) to be held at the Memorial Art Gallery on Saturday, March 24, 2018 from 6pm – 10pm.

The RDHARC will recognize all those who have contributed

in any way to archiving and preserving the LGBTQ+ history of Rochester, NY. The Rainbow Dialogues are a community conversation making LGBTQ archival documents from the past relevant for people today.

The Out Alliance thanks the LGBT Giving Circle for this award given in support of the STSO 8th initiative, Rainbow Dialogues: A Bridge From the Past to the Present.

History Corner November 2017 The Empty Closet A Monthly Newspaper of The Gay Brotherhood of Rochester 713 Monroe Avenue, Room 4 Rochester, NY 14607 (716) 244-8640 December, 1975, Number 56 Focus: December 1975 $25,000 lawsuit charging the UR and the UR Gay Liberation Front with libel and violation of the New York State Civil Rights Act was settled out of court!

Want to know why and who sued?

Want to read more? http://www.library.rochester.edu/rbscp/EmptyCloset Click on: Browse the Empty Closet issues Go to 1975 – December – Page 1

All Roads Lead to Victor Chevrolet.

The All New Victor Chevrolet Welcomes Gerry Ioannone.

Stop in and see Gerry for Your Best Deal on a New Chevrolet or Pre-Owned Vehicle. We have over 400 new Silverado, Cruze, Malibu, Equinox, Traverse and Impalas.

We also have a large selection of Car Fax Certified pre-owned vehicles.

Gerry is your LGBTQ Connection Ready to Serve You!

7200 Pittsford Victor Road (rt.96) Victor • 585 433-2500

PHOTO: SUSAN JORDAN

SAGE Page

Former Tuskegee Airman Charles Price and Cmdr. Bing Reaves Sr. present on the history of Buffalo Soldiers and the African-American military experience

Buffalo Soldiers visit SAGE Lunch & Learn SAGE participants were treated to a brilliant, informative talk from two local Buffalo Soldier Vet members. Commander Bing Reaves Sr. and Mr. Charlie Price visited SAGE’s weekly “Lunch & Learn” program Tuesday, Nov. 14 to give a talk about their organization, its history, and military traditions.

Mr. Price was the first Black officer hired by the Rochester Police Department in 1947 following his service as a Tuskegee Airman in World War II. Commander Reaves, who served in Vietnam and was a career military man, also served with the RPD; retiring as a sergeant.

Price and Reaves are members of Buffalo Soldiers, an Army veteran group named for the term used synonymously with African American regiments formed in the post-Civil War United States Army. They gave a remarkable talk, sharing their own military experiences in the Second World and Vietnam wars, respectively, and the formation of the Buffalo Soldiers and vet group. A lively conversation with SAGE members followed.

Anne Tischer, SAGE program coordinator, said it was the best “Lunch & Learn” they had ever had, noting that she learned “so much” from the talk and could barely tear herself away!

tion throughout their lifetimes. Federally recognized as an “at risk” population, LGBTQ+ older adults are also much less likely than their non-LGBTQ+ peers to access aging services or reach out to providers, meal programs, and senior centers precisely because of that fear of discrimination.

Sounds discouraging, doesn’t it? SAGE Rochester is working to combat these realities with a program called Pride in Aging. Through presentations every 3rd Friday of the month, Pride in Aging helps LGBTQ+ older adults prepare to “age in place” in their own homes for as long as possible. By helping predict and prepare for future challenges, our elders will increase their quality of life and experience greater comfort as they age.

Area providers are invited to participate in these presentations so they can learn about this unique population and allow LGBTQ+ seniors to identify and connect with culturally affirming providers and agencies. Knowing who to turn to for assistance as we age is crucial.

Join SAGE’s Pride in Aging at the LGBTQ Resource Center every 3rd Friday of the month from 2:30-4:00pm, with a healthy lunch served at 2. All providers, seniors, and community members are welcome!

Writing welcome cards for community members

Seniors in Service The first and third Thursday of every month see the LGBTQ Resource Center come alive as members of SAGE participate in Seniors in Service, a volunteer program that promotes seniors supporting seniors.

Activities vary from week to week but often include welcome mailings, sunshine cards, and “call to connect” – a program that addresses isolation of home-bound and/or ill LGBTQ seniors.

Seniors in Service gives members of SAGE an opportunity to give back to their peers, cultivate meaningful friendships, and be part of bettering our community.

Join Seniors in Service 1st and 3rd Thursdays of the month from 11:30am-1:30pm at the LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave, Rochester NY 14607. Light lunch provided. Contact Anne Tischer with questions at annet@outalliance.org or 585-244-9640 x23.

Gary Thomas of Hunt Realty, Lynne Maher of Supportive Organizing Solutions and Bob Weston of Mr Grab Bar present to Pride In Aging

Pride in Aging – The Road Ahead

By Rowan Collins Navigating health care and senior services as you age is daunting for anyone. For LGBTQ+ seniors it can be terrifying. Uninformed biases, overt discrimination, fear

of rejection, and lack of provider education create unique barriers to care for LGBTQ+ older adults.

LGBTQ+ elders experience higher rates of isolation, depression, substance abuse, poverty and chronic illness, and have smaller support networks than their heterosexual and cisgender peers due to systemic discrimina-

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Life of Pie: A Very Queer Thanksgiving at the Center, Nov. 4

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December

FRIDAY 1

World AIDS Day events: MOCHA Center: Meet & Greet Trinity K Bonet from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Informal discussion about drag and living with HIV, free snacks provided; 5-6pm at the MOCHA Center; Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/ events/701517910047786/ World AIDS Day events: The Red Party featuring Trinity K Bonet and Darienne Lake. Free at-home HIV testing kits, giveaways, community info, drink special, speakers, and more. Drag shows at 11:30pm & 12:30am. Rochester Victory Alliance.

Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/126006061414826/ World AIDS Day events: Center for AIDS Research at UR presents Evelyn Bailey with its Community Service Award for documenting AIDS history. 10am-2pm. cfar.urmc.edu Metro Justice Alternative Fair.

5-9pm, First Unitarian Church. Also Dec. 2, 10am-2pm.

Gallery Q First Friday opening.

“Take the Long Way Home” features recent work by Nancy Topolski and Allen C. Topolski. 6-9pm, 100 College Ave. The Nut Crack Her. A Big Wigs Christmas, with Mrs. Kasha Davis and Aggy Dune. Blackfriars Theatre, Dec. 1 and 2, 8pm. $25. www.blackfriars.org

SATURDAY 2

Susan Jordan’s retirement party, 2-5pm, 100 College Ave. OUT in the Sticks: Meetup for Dansville “Winter in the Village” Festival. Gather at Caffe Tazza, 179 Main St, Dansville at 5pm; Wine Tasting Tour & holiday activities throughout the village at 6pm. $10 for tastings if desired. Annet@outalliance.org RoCo Mortgage-Burning Party.

8-9:30pm, Rochester Contemporary Art Center, 137 East Ave. Includes reading from 40+1 by authors Peter Monacelli and Tony Leuzzi, desserts, champagne toast, ceremonial mortgage burning. 40+1 features 41 paintings by Monacelli in response to 41 poems by Leuzzi, each dedicated to one of the 40 years. Admission $50.

SUNDAY 3

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Liturgy, with music and Healing Service. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 5

SAGE catered lunch 11:30am2pm $3. “Cake Day” for December birthdays, Hidden LGBTQ History: Troy Perry. Also fill stockings, make cards & frost cookies for Veterans.

Candlelight Night sponsored

by Pittsford Chamber of Commerce.

5-8pm, lighting of Christmas trees, live music, carolers, horse-drawn wagon rides, visits with Santa, The Grinch, treats with Mrs. Claus, photos with Santa’s Reindeer, activities at Kid Zone. For over 21 crowd: 3rd Annual Pub Crawl benefiting The Pittsford Food Cupboard.

The Ongoing Calendar is now online: OutAlliance.org

WEDNESDAY 6

OUT in the Sticks: Batavia Meetup at Go Art! 6-8pm, Pizza & LGBTQ short films with discussion. $5, all are welcome. 201 E Main St., Batavia, NY 14020 annet@outalliance.org

THURSDAY 7

SAGE Seniors in Service 11:30pm-1:30pm volunteer activities & a light lunch. Doing “Call to Connect”, welcome mailings & sunshine cards. Contact Anne Tischer for information annet@outalliance.org (585) 244-8640 x23.

FRIDAY 8

Out Alliance Youth Cinema Club screens “Paris Is Burning”.

Films will be shown every second Friday until May. 244-8640.

LORA Meetup at Ambush: 6-9pm. Angry Goat Pub, 938 S Clinton Ave, 14620. Ambush on Facebook for more information.

Open Arms MCC “Cocoa, Cookies a& Caraoke”, 6-8pm, 707 E. Main St.

SAGE Jingle Mingle & Bingo Holiday Party. 5-9pm. Bring appetizer or dessert & wear holiday finery for prize! Appetizers & cocktails at 5pm, dinner at 5:30pm; Bingo at 6:30pm. Vegan options. $5. RSVP to annet@outalliance.org (585) 2448640x23

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Liturgy. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. LORA Women’s Brunch, 10am12pm, Pixleys Restaurant, 2235 Buffalo Road, Gates. All welcome. RSVP: Kerry at DressyFemme@aol.com or annet@outalliance.org

SATURDAY 9

SUNDAY 10

Dignity-Integrity. Catholic Liturgy, with music. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MONDAY 11

Screening of Shoulders To Stand On, 6-8pm, Newark Public Library, 121 High St., Newark NY.

TUESDAY 12

SAGE Lunch & Learn. 11:302pm Catered lunch, $3. LGBTQ shorts films & discussion. Guest facilitator: Kayden Miller.

ACT UP Documentary & speaker panel, 6-8:30pm, hosted by Pride at Work AFL-CIO & Democratic Socialists of America, at the Alliance, 100 College Ave. Besswhat@gmail. com

THURSDAY 14

HRC Second Thursday Networking. 5:30-7:30pm, Artisan Works, in Main Gallery. Sponsored

by Trillium.

SAGE Breakfast Club 10am12pm Denny’s Restaurant, 911 Jefferson Road, Henrietta. All are welcome!

RSVP: Gerry by 12/10 at gkraus@ rochester.rr.com or (585) 730-8772 LORA Leadership meeting.

6-7:30pm. Plan for Dyke March & Rosies Reunion Dance & more. All are welcome. LGBTQ Resource Center, Contact Regina at Reginaaltizer@ gmail.com

Drag Queen Hour @ Blackfriars with Mrs. Kasha Davis

SUNDAY 17

TUESDAY 19

SAGE Tuesday Lunch & Learn 11:30am-2pm, Catered lunch. $3. Leslie Alvarado of HCR presents.

SAGE Social Worker Support 11am-3pm, Kat Carr LCSW of Lifespan available on-site to consult on dementia, Alzheimers & care-giving.

Free. Information: kcarr@lifespanroch.org

THURSDAY 21

SAGE Seniors in Service

The Community Events Calendar This calendar of community events is open to any organization or individual who has an event they’d like to make known to the entire LGBTQ and ally communities.

SATURDAY 16

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus winter concert. “My Favorite Things”. 7:30pm, also Sunday Dec. 17, 3pm. Hochstein Performance Hall.

Featuring Flower City Pride Band and special guest Thomas Warfield. www.thergmc.org

Use this QR code, or type: https://docs.google.com/ forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdapVq_ EtoYEDJkwsxfFopFoApoVskW8fcDoHtK-kjp3tAVsQ/viewform

11:30pm-1:30pm; volunteer activities & light lunch. Doing “Call to Connect”, welcome mailings & sunshine cards. Contact Anne Tischer for information annet@gayalliance.org (585) 244-8640 x23.

FRIDAY 22

Dignity Integrity. 11th Annual Christmas Hymn Sing. Tim Schramm on piano and organ. 7pm, St. Luke’s/St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. www.di-rochester.org

SUNDAY 24

Open Arms MCC Christmas Eve service. 7pm, 707 E. Main St. Dignity Integrity. Christmas Eve, no service or potluck this evening.

WEDNESDAY 27

Happy Hour at Avenue Pub, 5-7pm 522 Monroe Ave, 14607. Food & drink specials.

SATURDAY 30

Drag Story Hour with Mrs. Kasha Davis, 10am at Blackfriars Theatre. “Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress”.

SUNDAY 31

Dignity Integrity. New Year’s Eve: House Mass with Catholic Liturgy (call Hotline to get address & join us!)

January

ROCHESTER AA/NA MEETINGS

Every week there are three regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

TUESDAYS

Narcotics Anonymous AIDS and Recovery, 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church).

6-7:30pm.

This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using.

Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

FRIDAYS

LGBT Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Avenue, 7:30pm.

This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass).

As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour. Open meeting. Handicapped accessible.

SATURDAYS

The Repair Shop AA meeting at the LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. 5:30-6:30pm.

585-244-8640.

Saturday Night Special AA Central Office, 1000 Elmwood Ave. 6:30-7:30pm.

• Open meeting; all are welcome; “straightfriendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible. Meetings begin with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

SUNDAYS

Step in the Right Direction 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) 7:30-9pm.

This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using.

Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. 8pm.

Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped-accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion. ■

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TUESDAY 2

SAGE catered lunch 11:30am2pm $3. “Cake Day” for January birthdays, Hidden LGBTQ History: Troy Perry. Also make wild bird treats.

LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave.

WEDNESDAY 3

OUT in the Sticks: Batavia Meetup at Go Art! 6-8pm, Pizza & LGBTQ short films with discussion. $5. All are welcome. 201 E Main St, Batavia, NY 14020; annet@outalliance.org

THURSDAY 4

SAGE Seniors in Service 11:30pm-1:30pm volunteer activities & a light lunch. Doing “Call to Connect”, welcome mailings & sunshine cards. Contact Anne Tischer for information annet@outalliance.org (585) 244-8640 x23.

SATURDAY 6

SAGE Saturday Night Bingo & Potluck. 5-8pm. Bring a dish to pass & a friend. Appetizers at 5pm, dinner at 5:30pm and Bingo at 6:30pm.

Vegan options too. $3 toward token prizes. LGBTQ Resource Center. annet@outalliance.org

SUNDAY 7

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Liturgy, with music and Healing Service. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 9

SAGE Happy Hour

MONDAY 15

LORA Leadership meeting. 8pm at Equal Grounds after Coffee Hour.

Plan for 2018 activities. Contact Regina at Reginaaltizer@gmail.com

TUESDAY 16

SAGE Tuesday Lunch & Learn 11:30am-2:00pm, Catered lunch. $3.

Casino Day: Bess Watts teaches how to play Craps & Black Jack. annet@ outalliance.org SAGE Social Worker Support 11am-3pm, Kat Carr LCSW of Lifespan is available on-site to consult on issues around dementia, Alzheimers & care-giving. Free. Information: kcarr@ lifespan-roch.org

SAGE Lunch & Learn. 11:302:00pm Catered lunch, $3. Randy Hoag of AARP presents on AARP & Senior Living Communities.

WEDNESDAY 17

OUT in the Sticks: Dansville Happy Hour & Dinner, Jack’s Gaslight Inn, 110 Main St, Dansville, 14437 5pm-7pm annet@outalliance. org

THURSDAY 18

WEDNESDAY 10

THURSDAY 11

SAGE Breakfast Club 10am12pm Denny’s Restaurant, 911 Jefferson Road, Henrietta. All are welcome!

RSVP: Gerry by 01/08 at gkraus@ rochester.rr.com or (585) 730-8772

FRIDAY 12

LORA Meetup at Ambush: 6-9pm. Find Ambush on Facebook for location & more information.

SATURDAY 13

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus winter concert. An Evening of Songs in the Spirit of Martin Luther King. 7:30pm, Clover Center for Arts & Spirituality, 1101 Clover St. therwcc.org

OUT in the Sticks: Batavia Happy Hour, Bourbon & Burger, 9 Jackson St, Batavia 14020, 5pm-7pm. annet@outalliance.org.

SAGE Seniors in Service 11:30am-1:30pm volunteer activities & a light lunch. Doing “Call to Connect”, welcome mailings & sunshine cards. Contact Anne Tischer for information annet@outalliance.org (585) 244-8640 x23.

FRIDAY 19

SAGE Pride in Aging program to help seniors “age in place” 2:304:00pm, Topic 4: Care Providers & service providers: home health care, medical, dental, podiatry, hearing & vision care, maintenance, cleaning, groceries, cooking, emergency response. RSVP to annet@outalliance.org (585) 244-8640x23.

SUNDAY 14

Dignity Integrity. Catholic Liturgy, with music. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. Health Quest Plant-based Potluck, 5-7pm, LGBTQ Resource Center. Dietician Joan Panepinto presents on “The power of pulses in your diet” & demos recipes. annet@outalliance. org

SMALL DOG CAMP

SATURDAY 20

SAGE Meetup: Frank’s Rat Pack Dinner Show at East End Tavern, 37 Charlotte St. 6pm. Buy $35 tickets directly from East End at (585) 2623988 and ask to be seated at SAGE table. Information only: annet@outalliance.org or aprice002aol.com.

SUNDAY 21

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Liturgy. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. LORA Women’s Brunch, 10am12pm, Pixleys Restaurant, 2235 Buffalo Road, Gates. All are welcome.

RSVP: Kerry at DressyFemme@aol. com or Anne at annet@outalliance. org

TUESDAY 23

SAGE Tuesday Lunch & Learn 11:30am-2:00pm, Catered lunch. $3.

LGBTQ short films & discussion annet@outalliance.org

WEDNESDAY 24

SAGE Happy Hour, 5-7pm, 140 Alex, 140 Alexander St. Food & drink specials.

Creating Change conference, The Task Force. Marriot Wardman Park Hotel, Washington DC. Applications due Dec. 4. creatingchange. org

SUNDAY 28

Dignity Integrity. Prayers to start the Week followed by Potluck, “Comfort Food for Body and Soul”. 5pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 30

SAGE Tuesday Lunch & Learn 11:30am-2pm, Catered lunch. $3.

About Autism & Aspergers. Guest speaker.

585-530-3371 First Half-Day Free

766 Clinton Avenue S. -Within Natural Pet Food Store-

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Health

earlier this fall, answers frequently asked questions, provides step-by-step instruction and guidance on filing with the court and updating documents post-change, and provides sample and blank court forms for use.

Free legal assistance for name changes in the greater Monroe County area are also listed at the back of the guide for those who have specific

Dr. Dan Lewis

Holiday fun and fitness

By Dr. Daniel Lewis, P.T., D.P.T, HCR Home Care, Doctor of Physical Therapy The holidays have arrived and while they bring happiness and joy, they also carry a good deal of stress and anxiety. With all of the hustle and bustle of parties, celebrations, and get-togethers, it can be hard to take care of ourselves as well as we should. You can still enjoy the festivities and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

One way to maintain a healthy lifestyle is to make sure you take time for yourself, as well as obtain the recommended amount of physical activity.

According to the CDC, approximately 52 percent of people 18 and older meet the physical activity guidelines for aerobic activity. The number drops to 22 percent when you add in the recommended amount of muscle-strengthening activity. During the holiday season, this can easily decrease if we chose to ignore physical activity.

What may these physical activity guidelines be, you ask? For adults, it is recommended that 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity be completed each week. This roughly translates to, five times a week for 30 minutes, or a little over 20 minutes every day of sustained aerobic activity. This means little to no interruptions or breaks if it can be helped. Such activities include brisk walking, cross country skiing, and swimming. Two days a week is recommended for strength training, which includes: lifting weights, using resistance machines, and resistance bands for a moderate

intensity workout.

The most important aspects for success are that you find an activity or activities you enjoy, and make time to do them consistently. Next, establish a specific time every day that is just for your 20-30 minutes of activity. For more information on the specific activity guidelines, go to www. cdc.com.

‘Tis the season to give yourself the gift that keeps on giving; your health!

Happy Holidays!

New DIY Name Change Guide from Empire Justice

By Rowan Collins DMV. Health insurance. Credit cards. Passport. Voter registration.

School records. Social security. Payroll. Public databases.

These are just a few of the places your legal name and gender marker reside. For many in the trans and gender expansive communities, the reality of records that inaccurately reflect identity is constant. The process of obtaining a legal name change and updating gender markers can be needlessly daunting and often seem undoable.

Milo Primeaux, Esq., the LGBT Rights Attorney for Empire Justice, has helped countless individuals in the Rochester area navigate the name and gender marker change process over the years. Now, he has written a DIY guide for anyone who wants to change their documents without the help of an attorney – “pro se”.

The guide, which was released

questions, require, or want legal help.

While each person’s situation, experience, and needs will differ, having a well-developed, step-by-step guide to aid and empower community members in their journeys is an enormous resource.

See empirejustice.org/publications or bit.ly/2xyJxs1 to access the guide.

In these cases, change is good.

Culture

Don We Now Our Gay Aperol: Holiday Cocktails

By Rowan Collins With the holidays around the corner, we at The Empty Closet want to make sure our readers who imbibe (and are of age!) have some boozy ways to celebrate with family and friends.

I challenged Amanda Cole, of The Spirit Room and soon-to-open Lanai, to come up with a new holiday-inspired cocktail for our readers.

Here’s what she crafted: Make the Yuletide Gay 1.5 oz Elijah Craig bourbon 1 oz heavy cream 1 oz coffee – chilled if not cold-brew .5 oz Bauchant’s orange liqueur 1 whole egg 3 dashes black walnut bitters Fresh grated nutmeg & cinnamon Put all your ingredients in a shaker tin Dry shake – that means no ice! – for 30 seconds, minimum Strain into glass of your choice Shave chocolate on top For other, seasonal cocktails try an Upbeet Ginger Snap or a Five Gold Rings. Read on: Upbeet Ginger Snap 1.5 oz vodka 1 oz beet juice (homemade or store bought) Juice of 1 lime Juice of half an orange 1 oz ginger simple syrup Dash of Angostura, orange, or other preferred bitters Sparkling water Crushed ice Pour citrus juice, beet juice, vodka, simple syrup and a dash of your favorite bitters into a shaker.

Shake for 15 secs Small handful of crushed ice in a glass Fill glass halfway with the mix Top with sparkling water Five Gold Rings 1.5 oz Jim Beam rye or tequila (drinker’s choice) .5 oz fresh lemon juice .5 oz honey simple syrup .5 oz Damiana .125 oz fig-cinnamon preserves (optional) Rosemary garnish Save garnish, combine ingredients in shaker; shake hard.

Pour over fresh ice in rocks glass Garnish with spanked rosemary

Artbook honors local artist Scott McCarney in NYC Artbook hosted a closing reception for Rochester artist Scott McCarney’s 2016-2017 BANANACO Edition and the launch of Jan Voss’s 2017-2018 Artbook Editions during this year’s New York Art Book Fair at MoMA PS1.

Scott says, “I ceremoniously passed the baton of time-limited print editions to Jan, a great artist, friend and co-proprietor of Boekie Woekie in Amsterdam. Artbook has a larger, newly designed location on the first floor of the museum featuring dedicated space for programming and a relaxed atmosphere for browsing their fantastic selection of books.”

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ImageOut and Gallery Q present “Take the Long Way Home” ImageOut and Gallery Q are joining forces once again. “Take the Long Way Home” features recent work by Nancy Topolski and Allen C. Topolski.

This show marks the first time these two artists, a married couple, have exhibited their work together.

The exhibition opens First Friday, December 1 from 6-9 p.m., and runs through Jan. 25. Gallery Q is part of the Alliance Resource Center, located at 100 College Ave. The gallery is open Monday and Friday 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., as well as Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 9 a.m. – 8:30 p.m.

Allen’s works from the “Things I Used to Need” series are attempts to relate imagery and representation to objects and function along a delicate line of comprehension – a line like the remaining one connecting us to what we have almost forgotten. The art that Nancy is exhibiting is resourced from the Visual Studies Workshop’s Soibelman Syndicate New Agency Archive as well as her own collection of materials pulled from old textbooks and vernacular photographs.

Both artists are interested in the ways materials dictate their production. They incorporate found materials and a variety of processes in the reconfiguration of objects and images.

These works and their parts and pieces, these images and their sources and ghosts, all attest to the artists’ desires, taste, and place in the world - they are indicators of the personal and the cultural. Because many of their works impel tenuous associations with

The Eye welcomes you to The Spirit Room (All photos courtesy Spirit Room Facebook)

Gnaw Rocs with Reilly: The Spirit Room

By Reilly Hirst “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” – Cicero The Spirit Room has come to “life” in the last few months. Brainchild of Rachel McKibbens (Latina Queer Feminist) & Jake Rakovan – hosts of Poetry & Pie – it is based on local figures the Fox Sisters, who founded the

the familiar, they situate comfortably in a place best accessed through memory and notions of place.

Nancy studied art at Bucknell University and Education at Saint John Fisher College. She has taught classes and workshops in the Rochester region for over 20 years focusing on collage, felting, cold-glass processes, bookmaking and many alternative practices. She has taught workshops at SUNY Brockport University and University of Rochester, as well as classes at The Memorial Art Gallery’s Creative Workshop, The Rochester Museum and Science Center and the JCC of Greater Rochester. She was an artist in residence at Rochester’s Makers Space and more recently at the Visual Studies Workshop.

Allen attended Bucknell University and Penn State University. He is Associate Professor of Art in the Department of Art and Art History at the University of Rochester. Topolski has exhibited his work at Hallwalls in Buffalo, San Jose Museum of Art, CA, Moreau Art Gallery, the Salina Art Center, Colgate University and Islip Art Museum on Long Island.

spiritualist movement in the late 19th century. Keeping to the theme and decor, there is an even a wall for pictures of the deceased.

Open a little over a month, it already feels like it has been here forever. The menu features drinks inspired by the theme and created by Jake and Luc Thiers, master hands at craft cocktails.

The food is good solid Louisiana and low country: gumbo on Sunday, shrimp and grits, etouffée, and homemade banana pudding.

There is always a vegan/veg option; and animal crackers on the bar. I’ve had the gumbo, and it tastes exactly like what it is: hospitality.

The staff are diverse across ethnicity, age, gender and orientation. Tarot readings are available most nights, keeping to the theme as well. In addition, Rachel and Luc, especially, have great interest in being a community space that support events.

The Spirit Room calls to those of us who are living, sometimes not easily or at home, to be at peace here. 139 State St., Rochester, New York 14604

RGMC sings about our favorite things, Dec. 16 and 17 Classical chestnuts and songs about waltzing, hot men in flannel and plenty of schmaltzing, Rochettes for dancing and drummers and kings... these are a few of my favorite things!

Or, at least, some of our favorite things in the first Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus concert of the 2017-2018 season on Saturday, Dec. 16 at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Dec. 17 at 3 p.m. at Hochstein Performance Hall, 50 North Plymouth Avenue.

Ring in the New Year with everyone’s favorite part of the season -- music! Ranging from holiday classics to pop tunes and everything in between, the RGMC will be joined by the Flower City Pride Band and Rochester local and friend of the RGMC Thomas Warfield.

Tickets are available at www.thergmc.org or by calling (585) 423-0650. Tickets can also be purchased in person at Equal=Grounds, Parkleigh, or from any chorus member. Advance sale tickets are $8 for children 12 and under, $17 for students and seniors 60 and older, and $20 for adults. Tickets at the door are $8 for children and $25 for all others.

Season tickets are still $45 ($40 for seniors and students) and available online or at the door. Bring an unwrapped toy for RGMC’s annual toy drive to benefit the Rochester Area Interfaith Hospitality Network.

RWCC presents An Evening of Songs in the Spirit of MLK on Jan. 13 at The Clover Center “Let music bring us together!” The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus invites all to their winter concert on Saturday, Jan. 13, at 7:30 p.m. at The Clover Center for Arts and Spirituality (1101 Clover Street) where the RWCC will perform songs of peace, freedom, justice, equality, hope and sisterly/brotherly love in honor of Martin Luther King Day. The RWCC will offer familiar tunes such as “Seize the Day” from the musical Newsies and “Make Them Hear You” from Ragtime; Patty Griffin’s folk/gospel song “Up to the Mountain,” based on MLK’s famous 1968 speech and Langston Hughes’ poem “I Dream a World” set to music. And so much more!

The Rochester Women’s Community Chorus (RWCC), a not-for-profit, non-auditioned group, has been creating harmony by singing music of all genres for nearly 40 years. The RWCC provides a creative and safe environment for women of various levels of musical expertise to sing together. The chorus embraces women of many cultural and ethnic backgrounds, life experiences, sexual identities and orientations. It is dedicated to using music as the vehicle for messages of peace, hope, understanding, and cooperation within the global community. If you’re interested in joining them, or in finding out more, please visit their website: therwcc.org or call (585) 376-7464.

Tickets for the Jan. 13 concert may be purchased in advance at a discount at: rwcc.ticketleap.com ($12 adults, $10 seniors and students, $6 children) or at the door ($15 adults, $12 seniors and students, $6 children).

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We appreciate the continuing partnership of our community – whose support of our mission and vision is so important.

84 Lumber Avenue Pub Bachelor Forum Bank of America Barilla America, Inc Brown & Hutchinson Butler/Till Media Services Inc Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Christopher Group City of Rochester Constellation Brands CSEA Datto, Inc Empire State Pride Agenda Excellus Health Plan, Inc First Name Five Star Bank FM Fitness Fred L. Emerson Foundation Frisbee Benefit Tournament GALAXe Genesee Valley Medical Foundation, Inc Greater Rochester Eastern Area Tournament Harris Corporation HCR Home Care Hedonist Artisan Chocolates Heveron & Heveron, CPA, P.C. Highland Hospital Hot Shots Imageout Key Bank National Association Lake Beverage Corp Lechase Construction Services, Llc Long Acre Farms Memorial Art Gallery New York Council for the Humanities New York State Nixon Peabody LLP Office of Children and Family Service Park Ave Merchants Association Pernod Ricard Planned Parenthood Pride at Work RIT Diversity Inclusion Rochester & Genesee Valley Area Labor Federation Rochester Area Community Foundation Rochester Victory Alliance Ronald Pratt Acupuncture Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Elders, Inc St. John Fisher College Diversity Office Taco Johns LLC Thomson Reuters Trillium Health United Way of Greater Rochester Wegmans Food Markets, Inc. Wegmans Grocery WXXI Public Broadcasting Council

Promoting responsible pet ownership and providing a variety of pet services in the Rochester area since 1957.

We are a no kill, cage-free shelter providing adoption and other pet services for cats, dogs and small animals.

Call to schedule a tour of our beautiful state-of-the-art facility in Irondequoit.

(585) 342-6099 www.animalserviceleagueny.org www.facebook.com/AnimalServiceLeague

Save a Life... Adopt a Rescued Animal

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