Empty Closet Magazine Dec 2018/ Jan 2019

/ HOLIDAY DRINKS

DEC|JAN_2018

20/ 19

/ WORLD AIDS DAY

ISSUE #529

LOOK BACK AT 2018 AND TOWARDS 2019 /

END OF THE YEAR RETROSPECTIVE /

MIDTERM ELECTION FOLLOW UP /

–– ––

is a a proud proud is member member of: of:

E M P T Y

FEATURES

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 3

7

TAMARA LEIGH Editor TamaraL@outalliance.org T_ 585-244-8640 x22

RETROSPECTIVES & RESOLUTIONS

DAVE KYLE Advertising davek@outalliance.org T_585-244-9030

Look back at 2018 with the Alliance staff and interns and see where we’re headed in the New Year. It’s been a big year for our agency and community and we’re moving forward more than ever

ALAN ALTMAN Graphic Design www.A3-Design.com

Issue printed by:

14

WORLD AIDS DAY

See how it has changed as our understanding has grown and find local resources for testing so you can #knowyourstatus

THE OUT ALLIANCE 100 College Avenue Rochester New York 14607 Monday & Friday 9am–5pm Tuesday–Thursday 9am­–8pm T_

585. 244. 8640 585. 244. 8246 E_ info@outalliance.org www.outalliance.org F_

TRANS FIGURED

30

Make your next holiday gathering extra festive with a few fun holiday cocktails and mocktails.

29

My journey from boy to girl to woman to man.

REGULARS

The Out Alliance works to be champions for LGBTQ+ life and culture. We strive to ensure that all members of the LGBTQ+ communities, at all stages of their lives, are free to be fully participating citizens, living lives in which they are safe, stable and fully respected.

26

CUPS OF GOOD CHEER

4 16 17 20 25 25 34 36 38

ELECTION FOLLOW UP

Tamara Leigh details what the results of the 2018 midterm elections mean for our community, nationally and locally, with big wins for LGBTQ+ candidates across the country.

TO THE COM M UNITY SAGE NEWS HISTORY CORNER CALENDAR GNAW ROCS OUT AND ABOUT OUTLOOK THE SCENE KYLES B&B

DEAR READER

Picture It: New York City, 1969.

It’s the wee hours of the morning, music is playing, and you are socializing with friends in the comfort of a place where you can truly be yourself. Suddenly, from outside, you hear shouts of “Police! We’re taking the place!” Next thing you know you’re being forced to show your ID and to prove your expressed gender or be arrested. Out of nowhere your night has turned into a five-day riot that marks the beginning of the Gay Liberation Movement across the country.

The Stonewall Riots ignited a spark in the Rochester community to carry on the legacy and continue to be at the forefront of social justice history that will impact the world. In 1970, the LGBTQ+ community formed the Gay Liberation Front that grew and evolved over the next 45 years into what we know today as the Out Alliance. Through that time Rochester achieved many milestones including electing the first openly gay official in New York State. Rochester became the third city in the United States to offer transition-related healthcare benefits to municipal employees and is home to the oldest LGBTQ+ publication in New York State and the oldest continuously published LGBTQ+ publication in the country, which you hold in your hands right now.

The fight for acceptance, equal rights, and for our voices to be heard continues today. This is why the work the Out Alliance does is so important. We are here, 365 days a year, for the Community. We provide a haven for trans youth to be their authentic selves, provide access to services for seniors to age out of the closet, and have a Community Center to provide a safe space for the Community to educate, advocate, and celebrate.

Much like the Stonewall Inn was a safe, inviting, and familiar gathering space in the 60’s, the Out Alliance strives to be that for the Rochester LGBTQ+ Community of today. Your contribution will continue to enable us to support and advocate for the next generation as they blaze their own path. With your contribution you become a Champion for LGBTQ+ Life & Culture and help ensure that our history and the struggles of our Community are never forgotten.

Make a gift by sending the attached form back in the enclosed pre-addressed envelope, online at www.

OutAlliance.org/donate, or call us at 585-244-8640.

With our sincere thanks and warm regards,

JEFF MYERS, Executive Director

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 5

CONTRIBUTORS

EVELYN BAILEY is an educator, political activist and historian. Evelyn is the executive producer of the Shoulders To Stand On Documentary, chair of the Rainbow Dialogues, and Out Alliance staff historian. She writes a monthly column for the Empty Closet and never ceases in her relentless determination to preserve our history

MERLE EXIT a long-time comedian, singer, and actress, writes for several publications as well as hosting an internet radio show, Whirl With Merle, on blogtalkradio.com. Merle has traveled to more than ¾ of the United States focusing on entertainment and food.

SHELBY LIDDLE is a B.A. candidate at St. John Fisher College in Media & Communications with a minor Visual & Performing Arts. She is the Out Alliance Communications Intern this fall and also works as a graphic designer at The Cardinal Courier.

REILLY HIRST foodie from age 7 (when she sautéed zucchini in butter and dill), has lived in many good places to eat: Cape Cod, San Diego, the Bay Area, Portland. Now in Rochester, she believes that what you taste now is the beginning of a renewed integrated Rochester revolution.

LUIS ROSARIO-MCCABE works as a practitioner in the Women’s Health Clinic at the University of Rochester Medical Center and holds a Doctorate in Nursing from UR School of Nursing. Luis is a member of the Out Alliance Board of Directors and, in his spare time, owns a farm in Churchville with his husband.

JUSTIN HUBBELL is a professional trans-

gender (they/their) nonbinary cartoonist and artist behind #NBFeels comics. They are an LGBT+ educator, advocate, and speaker.

TO READ THE DIGITAL VERSION AND SO MUCH MORE, VISIT WWW.OUTALLIANCE.ORG/EMPTYCLOSET

E M P T Y

C L O S E T |

December / January 2018 | 6

BOARD OF TRUSTEES

COLLEEN RAIMOND President CHLOE CORCORAN Vice President JEFF LAMBERT Secretary JASON BARNECUT-KEARNS Treasurer SADY FISCHER MARTIN MURPHY MILO PRIMEAUX LUIS ROSARIO-MCCABE

JEFFREY MYERS Executive Director

B R A N D I N G IS NOT EVERYTHING BUT IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT.

JOSHUA STAPF Development Director TAMARA LEIGH Communications Director KAYDEN MILLER Interim Education Director LORI CRAMER Education Coordinator ANNE TISCHER SAGE Coordinator KATHLEEN MOYSE SAGE Outreach EVELYN BAILEY Historian KAT WIGGALL Database Administrator BRADEN REESE LGBTQ Center Manager

WWW.A3-DESIGN.COM 585. 662. 9692

G N I P P E E T R S U T T FU U O E C N A I ALL T O N I

E T H

It’s been an incredible year for the Alliance, in so many ways.

2018 has proven to be a year of great change for our organization and shown a renewed commitment from staff, board, and community to creating inclusive spaces for all. In honor of the end of 2018 and start of 2019, we have gathered some of our favorite images from this past year, including The Red Ball, Advocacy Day in Albany, Big Queer Prom, the Rainbow Dialogues, the LGBTQ Community Center opening, Day of Silence, ROC Pride, Empty Closet relaunch, and many more! Thank you to the incredible staff who have served the community so well, especially those who have moved on to new opportunities this year: Scott Fearing, Bill Camp, Jeana Bonacci-Roth, Olivia Gast, Eridan Maeder, Jeannie Gainsburg, and Rowan Collins. The Out Alliance and LGBTQ+ and allied communities of the greater Rochester area are better for your work and resolve. Take a look at our year, read a few staff and intern resolutions, and then see the Out Alliance’s official resolution for 2019. To new beginnings…

Some resolutions from the hardworking staff and interns that make the Out Alliance possible: “I’m excited to see the continued growth of Out Alliance and Empty Closet, and have greatly enjoyed my time here as an intern. I have seen the important work great people here at Out Alliance do for our community and am so glad that it is gaining the recognition and appreciation it deserves, and hope to see them have the opportunity to impact many more lives in the future.” SHELBY LIDDLE “My resolution for 2019 comes from a recent flight I was aboard. Before you can receive your pretzels and complimentary drinks, you always hear the flight attendant announce that in the event of a quick decent, place your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs. This is a popular metaphor for self-care that I am sure many of us have heard. Loving your job in community-based workplace, one can often forget that they need to take care of themselves in order to take care of others. That’s why in 2019, my goal is to invest time into myself so that I may better serve the community that I love.” KAYDEN MILLER

“My resolution for 2019 is to get the Call to Connect program up and running so we are able to connect with lonely and isolated LGBTQ seniors. I am also looking forward to bringing exciting and interesting presentations to the weekly SAGE Lunch and Learn Program. I fall a little more in love with the people who are part of SAGE every week so I want to make sure they are all feeling loved and supported.”

HEATHER BAKER

The Out Alliance Official 2019 Resolution

The Out Alliance was built on a legacy of advocating, educating, and celebrating for the Rochester LGBTQ+ community.

For nearly 50 years we have been the voice and safe haven for countless individuals who needed services, support and community that they could find in few other places. Our legacy is a proud and strong one and it has been an honor to be the beacon of light for so many.

The Out Alliance is currently growing in so many powerful directions and we are beyond excited to see what the future brings.

The growing process is not always an easy one but provides an invaluable opportunity to create ways to do more of what we excel at and pinpoint the areas in which we could do so much better.

The Out Alliance was created to be an organization that reflects the LGBTQ+ community and champions our rights, basic civil liberties and fights to ensure our unique (and often neglected) needs are met. Not just for some of us, but all of us. The world has made tremendous strides toward equality for Queer citizens but as Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “No one is free until we are ALL free.” As we step into the future, this agency unequivocally affirms that the struggle for Queer rights also must incorporate all forms of oppression- racism, sexism, classism and homophobia.

Our colorful, beautiful, diverse, expressive, and expansive LGBTQ+ family in Rochester should be reflected in every aspect of who Out Alliance is, and everything that we do.

In 2019, expect to see that reflected in our programming, hiring practices, publications and, agency presence. And if we don’t- we ask you to let us know. The first step in changing the culture is acknowledgement and accountability. The next step is making those words- actions. Our first action point is the creation of an “I.D.E.A. (Inclusion, Diversity, Equity & Awareness) Committee to give voice to the community and provide input as we evolve. If you are interested in participating, please contact Tamara Leigh (TamaraL@outalliance.org) for more information.

We want you to know that absolutely every color of our rainbow and community is not only welcomed but celebrated here.

The Out Alliance was created to stand for justice and inclusivity.

As we walk into the future of this agency let it be clear, the first place we will demand those ideals, is here.

I Z Z A R E T GLIT

E M P T Y

C L O S E T |

December / January 2018 | 10

The ball drop s, champagn completed an e glass in ha d a new year nd as you toas on the horizon to shoulder w t to another ye . Circled up am ith glamorous ar ongst friends, Drag Kings an the 1’s and 2 shoulder d Queens yo ’s. Perched hi u gh sw atop the City ay to DJ Hec and feathers ,P tor on embodying th e Great Gatsb enthouse One is dripped New Years E in jewels y ve in Rochest theme. What er? Just whe better way to grander, Pea n you though spend a chez hits the t the night co mic and begi the best of W uldn’t get any ns to commen estern New Yo tate calling ou rk Ballroom to what the 5 el t some of ements of Bal strut their stuf lroom are all f and show yo about. u just

and The Bachelor Forum up with Penthouse One g min tea unity. be l wil ce ian ers to the LG BTQ+ comm This year the Out All Years Eve party that cat w Ne m . gla a Eve rs zi”, raz Yea w litte Ne to present, “G enue 8PM-1AM on ht away at One East Av Tickets are available on Eventbrite.

Dance and ki ki the nig

GALLERY Q:

‘Imaging Power and Flux’ work by Jim Morris

Opens First Friday, December 7

Morris uses mapping software to gather data on the images and information we are bombarded with in our daily lives. The maps play a prevalent role in his art as he is particularly concerned with issues of land and border disputes, which are constantly in flux. He also observes the violence often associated with the abstract idea of land boundaries.

Morris appropriates imagery and text from both print and internet media and recombines them in multiple layers, commenting on systems and structures of power. Morris distills the data down into works layered with obscured meaning in order to illustrate the distinctions, or lack thereof, between truth, fact and memory.

Each work is created through an intense multimedia process that begins with an image appropriated from the mass media that Morris translates into a drawing. He then scans the drawing, sometimes laser cutting or printing it onto clear plastic. Each image is layered with other drawings as well as appropriated images and texts to create his complex and unique artworks.

The opening will be held from 6–9pm at Gallery Q, located at 100 College Avenue. The exhibit will be on display through January 18.

FEB. PREVIEW

YOUTH WORKS An exhibition in collaboration with Larson Shindelman and the George Eastman Museum highlighting youth works from Summer 2018 exploring intersection of art, technology, and social justice.

First Friday opening:

FEBRUARY 1, 6–9PM AT GALLERY Q

JUNE 2019 NYCPRIDE.ORG/2019

PRODUCED BY

WORLDPRIDE LICENSOR

H O S T PA R T N E R

H O S T PA R T N E R

December / January 2018 | 12

GET TO KNOW

Tam

Our new Editor in Chief and Communications Director for the Empty Closet and Out Alliance is Tamara Leigh. She’ll be putting her own spin on the Empty Closet beginning in 2019 and has big plans for the publication moving forward. We wanted to give our readers the opportunity to get to know the woman known throughout our community as “Tam” a little bit better.

What did you do before coming on board at the Alliance?

My day job was with the City of Rochester, doing HR & Communications/ Marketing work for the Department of Recreation and Youth Services.

I also own a Public Relations and Brand Development firm called Roc Candy Media.

I’ve been able to work with so many entertainers, promoters, agencies and events in Rochester.

It has really been an honor. My most important resume credit though is as being Mom to my 15 and 9 year old sons, Zaire & Zayden.

You’re involved in a ton of community endeavors.

Can you tell us about them?

Absolutely! I have been fortunate enough to work with so many members of the community, businesses and agencies helping to plan and coordinate events as well as produce some of my own. I was a part of the founding team of Roc the Park. We did Black Girls and Black Men Roc. My own personal projects, #BlackGirlMagic@ the Movies around the opening of the Hidden Figures movie was incredible. Over the summer we produced the “Walk It Like You Talk It” All-Stud Fashion Show celebrating self-identifying “studs” of color which was amazing. I did a “LGBTQ+ Water Wars” event over the summer that invited people to come out and compete in different water games and we had a ball. I also have co-chaired Black Pride Weekend with Adrian Elim which has been so rewarding. My latest project has been a series of Ki-Ki Ball events with Peachez to help revive the Western NY Ballroom scene.

Who inspires you?

The people who inspire me are the people who have found the courage and strength to be absolutely unequivocally authentically themselves.

Marsha P. Johnson inspires me. People who have fearlessly broken through prejudice and gender lines and everything that is expected and accepted inspire me. Dorothy Dandridge inspires me. Strong women, fighting the good fight inspire me. Kamala Harris inspires me. But I guess most of all I am inspired by the people who came from nothing, fought through everything, beat every set of odds and then turned back to reach for all the people who still sit where they once did to pull them through the fire too. They are superheros in my eyes.

If you could pick up a new skill in an instant what would it be?

Photoshop!! I wish I was better at photoshop without actually having to put any effort into learning lol What are you most excited to accomplish as Communications Director at the Alliance?

I am incredibly excited about working on the Empty Closet magazine.

The history is so rich and the possibilities for growth are just endless. But what I really want to see happen from my work here is to help create an environment where absolutely everyone from our community feels comfortable and celebrated here. The Alliance needs to be reflective of our entire community and I’m hoping that many people who may have never thought to come here before, will see themselves reflected in me.

If you could choose one song to play every time you entered a room, which song would it be and why?

Without question, Janelle Monae, “I Like That”. It absolutely gives me the feels. It’s like the soundtrack of my personality. Maybe the Jersey Club remix version at the end lol What’s something you want to do in the next year that you’ve never done before?

Be fearless What superpower will you bring to the organization?

Not to lack humility, but I am somewhat of a force to be reckoned with. I am extremely good at what I do and when I am passionate about something I am nearly unstoppable. I guess my superpower is my passion and the drive to see that passion come to fruition. So whether that means the power of my pen or incredibly big mouth lol ...I’m excited about what we can make happen.

Anything else you want to share with our readers?

I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to do the work that I love on behalf of a community that I adore. This is in many ways a dream come true for me and the start of a journey I am so excited for and proud of. I invite each and every person reading this page to come along on this incredible journey with me. We need you!! Your energy, your passion and your voices. If you are interested in contributing to the EC, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Dignity-Integrity’s 12th Annual Christmas Carol Sing Ivan Bosnar, Organist Sunday, December 23, 2018 6pm Please join us in Celebrating the Gift of Community and Family.

The Episcopal Church of St. Luke and St. Simon Cyrene 17 S. Fitzhugh St, Rochester, NY 14614

www.TuthillLighting.com 1689 Monroe Ave. Rochester, NY 14618 (585) 271-5877

Dec 2018

We go to the gym every day!

We offer a full spectrum of senior services from independent living to skilled nursing.

Most importantly, we have designed communities to help you embrace living your way.

Call 585-760-1300 to schedule a tour or go to stjohnsliving.org/tec.

Our life. Our way.

SJ TEC 2018 - All.indd 9

3/16/18 10:35 AM

By: LUIS A. ROSARIO-MCCABE, DNP, PMC, RN, WHNP-BC, CNL

A Historical Perspective December 1st marks the 30th year anniversary of World AIDS Day. Created by the World Health Organization in 1988, World AIDS Day is a day set aside to highlight global efforts to combat HIV/AIDS. World AIDS Day is also a day to show support for those living with HIV and to remember those who have died from the infection.

H IV/AI DS TI M ELI N E 1980s • July 3, 1981 was a day that changed our lives forever. The New York times published an article describing a rare cancer, Kaposi’s Sarcoma, found in 41 gay men in California and New York. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention named it Gay-related Immune deficiency (GRID) stigmatizing the gay community as carriers of this deadly disease. By the mid-1980s there were 8,000 confirmed cases in the US, resulting in an alarming 3,500 deaths and there were believed to have been 100,000 and 150,000 cases of HIV worldwide.

• The AIDS-related death of film star Rock Hudson in 1985 catapulted HIV into the public consciousness, putting a familiar face on the disease which many found distant and foreign. In that same year, 14-year-old Ryan White was barred from attending public school in Indiana for having HIV. • The Federal Drug Administration (FDA) approved the first HIV drug, Retrovir (AZT), in 1987. Two years after the death of Rock Hudson, President Regan finally said the word “AIDS” in a public speech. By this time, worldwide estimates of HIV were between 100,000 and 150,00 cases.

• Born out of the stigma of being diagnosed with HIV, the first World AIDS Day was celebrated on December 1, 1988. Its purpose was to destigmatize the disease through education and advocacy.

1990s • The 1990s saw a prolific increase in the number of people infected with HIV. Global estimates were 10 million. Of those, one million were in the US. More than 36,000 Americans had died of AIDS since the late 1970s.

• In 1992, The first clinical trials began using combinations of multiple drugs and the FDA began accelerated approval of experimental AIDS drugs. By the mid-1990s, AIDS was the 8th leading cause of death in the US and AIDS-related illnesses were the leading cause of death for 25- to 44-year-old adults.

2000s • By 2000, 21.8 million people worldwide had died of AIDS since the late 1970s. Ten percent of the population between the ages of 15 and 49 had HIV/AIDS in 16 African countries, while in seven African countries, infection rates reached 20%. Worldwide, HIV was the leading cause of death for ages 15 – 59.

• The number of HIV infected people reached its highest level ever in 2005 – with some estimates being as high as 40.3 million. Nearly half were women. At the same time, only 20% of people in need of treatment in low- and middle-income countries were receiving ART at the end of 2005.

• In 2006, the FDA approved the first single-pill, once-daily combination drug for the treatment of HIV infection. It was a breakthrough in the treatment of HIV infection. It allowed patients to manage their disease without complicated regimens which improved compliance and healthcare outcomes.

• In 2009, President Obama lifted a 22-year-old travel ban that prevented HIV-positive people from entering the US. Removal of the travel ban was a significant step in destigmatizing and removing social barriers for those living with HIV/AIDS.

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 15

2010 to Present • The most recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated 1.1 million people in the US were living with HIV in 2015 (the most recent year for which statistics are available). Sixty-two percent of those individuals were receiving HIV-related care. According to the World Health Organization, 36.9 million people worldwide are living with HIV infection. Of those, a mere 59% are on antiretroviral therapies (ART).

• In 2014, 94% of individuals receiving HIV-related care in the US were on ART - up from 89% in 2009. Forty-eight percent of individuals in the US living with HIV infection had sustained viral suppression. At the same time, treatment outcomes varied across racial groups. A lower percentage of blacks had sustained viral suppression (40.8%), compared to Hispanics (50.1%) and whites (56.3%). Lower suppression rates can increase transmission rates. Barriers such as access to health care, access to affordable medication, lower health literacy, lack of trust in healthcare providers and the healthcare system may be contributing factors.

• The news is not all bleak. Originally approved in 2004 to treat HIV infection, Truvada was a sea change in the prevention of HIV infection.

Used for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), Truvada has been shown to greatly reduce the acquisition of HIV if exposed to it.

Why is World AIDS Day Important?

HIV/AIDS is arguably the most significant modern-day epidemic.

It does not discriminate against race, ethnicity, religion, age, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, or political affiliation. Although ART has transformed HIV from a death sentence to a seemingly chronic manageable condition, HIV remains a global health concern. World AIDS Day remains relevant because it reminds us that HIV has not been eradicated. There is still much to be done to prevent, cure, educate, research, empower, and destigmatize.

Where can someone get tested?

Getting tested is the only way to know your HIV status. If you are HIVpositive, you can start getting treated, which can improve your health, prolong your life, and greatly lower your chance of spreading HIV to others. Getting HIV tested can give you some important lifesaving information and can help keep you—and others—safe.

Check out https://gettested.cdc.gov/ and https://locator.hiv.gov/ to find your nearest testing site. Use local resources like Trillium Health, MOCHA, and others to access confidential testing at LGBTQ+ affirming institutions. If you have a physician, you can request an HIV test during any appointment or your yearly physical. HIV tests are even available at your local pharmacy for at-home testing.

New York State HIV/AIDS Information Hotline 1-800-541-2437 (Operates Monday - Friday 8am - 8pm, Saturday & Sunday 10am - 6pm) Línea directa de VIH / SIDA en español del estado de Nueva York 1-800-233-7432 (opera de lunes a viernes de 8 am a 5 pm)

E M P T Y

C L O S E T |

SAGE PROFILE R O F T X E N “WHAT’S G E I N 2019” SA By: ANNE TISCHER

I am really excited about the new surge of growth that I foresee happening in SAGE in 2019. SAGE Rochester is a program of the Out Alliance and is an affiliate of the national organization “Services and Advocacy for GLBT Seniors”. SAGE national provides useful resources and a “finger on the pulse” for issues affecting LGBTQ seniors, alerting the Out Alliance of times when local advocacy may be needed to protect rights or benefits.

Top on our priority list this year is to have a priority list. Kidding aside, we have grown so fast and attracted so many people with complex needs that we are in the process of selfassessment to ensure we are utilizing our resources in the most effective manner. 2019 will see planned growth, targeting new participants and a broader level of diversity in both attendees and programming.

I will be working with a “SAGE Consumer’s Planning Committee” to insure that the quality and variety of programming is adequate to attract and retain new SAGE members and a separate five member “SAGE Advisory Committee” is being formed including outside experts to look at the long term direction of program expansion, possible collaborations and new program funding options.

Kathleen Moyse has been brought on board to insure that metrics, tracking and processes are standardized for grant procurement and membership growth. While these things sound mundane…they are the springboard for our 2019 plans.

On top of our regular SAGE social outreach activities that include Breakfast Club, Fabulous Fish Fry, and Happy Hour- look out for exciting lunch and learns, senior dances and some special health & wellness activities. “Call to Connect” outreach to homebound seniors and the “Pride in Aging” program will continue to educate seniors and service providers about the unique needs of aging LGBTQ people and will be expanded as part of 2019 objectives.

Our SAGE family is growing and as always we are looking for creative or experienced people to take the lead on some new projects… I personally would love to see a “Life Changes after 50” discussion group…for people newly coming out, starting over after a loss or struggling to reconcile aging and health issues. This can be the best of times…with a little help from our If you would like to get involved in peers. My wife Bess suggests that we get Tom SAGE stop by one of our next events Somerville, our resident yoga master to start a listed right here or on our calendar.

“Hopeless Cases” Exercise Class… Count me in If you are interested in becoming a if it ends with a glass of wine.

volunteer for SAGE please contact Anne at annet@outalliance.org.

December / January 2018 | 16

WEEKLY EVENT REMINDERS TUESDAYS

SENIOR YOGA WITH TOM 10:30–11:30am, $5

LUNCH & LEARN 11:30am–1:30pm, $3, catered lunch & speaker

THURSDAYS

SENIOR YOGA WITH TOM 10:30–11:30am, $5

1ST & 3RD THURSDAYS

SENIORS IN SERVICE 11:30am–1:30pm, light lunch and volunteer activities

2 ND & 4 TH WEDNESDAYS

50+ MEN’S GROUP 6:30–8pm, Topical discussions

2 ND THURSDAYS

BREAKFAST CLUB @Jefferson Rd. Denny’s, 9:00–10:30am, RSVP Gerry 585. 730. 8772

3 RD FRIDAYS

PRIDE IN AGING 2:30–4pm, speakers and resources to help you “age in place”

LAST FRIDAYS

FABULOUS FISH FRY! 5:30pm, location varies, RSVP: Audet 585. 287. 2958 or aprice002@aol.com (events at Out Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center unless otherwise noted)

See Calendar on page 20 for this month’s special events!

E M P T Y

HISTORY CORNER:

C L O S E T | November 2018 | 17

Voices Raised – Voices Heard Resistance to a Partial Victory

Shoulders to Stand On

In this combined December/January issue of the Empty Closet, Shoulders To Stand On will look at the need for our continued RESISTANCE as a community and as individuals to the continuing challenges to and attacks on our democracy, constitution and our basic freedoms.

Here in New York, Democrats now control the NYS Senate, Assembly, and Governorship. Let us hope that New York will continue to lead the way to affordable health care, continued freedom of speech in the media, the passage of GENDA, reform of the criminal justice system, equal pay legislation, tuition-free degree programs, addressing issues of institutional racism, housing protections, and many more legislative items that advance the cause of justice and equality.

Our successful RESISTANCE to injustice and untruth was realized in the outcomes of the Nov. 6 mid-term election results not just in Rochester and New York but across the country. Now we, Rochestarians and New Yorkers need to focus on holding our elected officials accountable for improving the quality of life for ALL New Yorkers, demanding from Democrats and Republicans clear transparent truthful articulation and marketing of proposed legislation and programs, the reduction of waste throughout our state and local governments, and the increased inclusion of our diverse populations in having a voice and a seat at the table. Rochestarians and New Yorkers deserve nothing less.

Our work is not done. There is still much to do. Rochestarians owe a tremendous debt of gratitude for our success on November 6 and our future successes to HRC support of candidates in Monroe County and the state. One person’s commitment and effort stands out as extraordinary – Carol Ebersole-Weiss. A Champion of Equality, Carol tirelessly worked for Democrats in Monroe County, by organizing phone banks, canvassing, and using social media to energize the community to vote and get involved. Carol energized young people and expanded the base of volunteers working for candidates. Thank you!

The Rochester region has always been a powerful voice for dignity and civil rights. Today, we “stand on the shoulders” of many heroes who made Rochester a city that celebrates diversity and has often set benchmarks for civil liberties throughout the nation. But, even as history is made, history remains fragile and can be quickly lost.

NOW it is up to each one of us to continue to engage in the political process, to continue the fight for justice and equality begun by our early pioneers – Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass. Our victory will only be complete when we all are united, have equal rights, are treated with dignity and respect regardless of our race, creed, gender, economic status, and political affiliation.

Shoulders to Stand On is proud to recognize YOU – our diverse communities of Rochester - for engaging in Rochester’s and New York States struggle for equality, freedom and justice for all.

The Shoulders To Stand On Program has gone wild with 2019 history and archive celebrations in honor of the 50th Anniversary of Stonewall. Here is what to look for:

A Late Snow by Jane Chambersat Blackfriars – Reading, late July – early August

Stonewall that exploded on June 28, 1969. Hear personal stories, experience participate

Joan Giuffre Archive Exhibit at JCC MARCH 30 - APRIL 14, 2019 An archive exhibit on Joan Giuffre whose production company, Black Rose Production, produced in 1987 full productions of Boys In the Band and A Late Snow in Rochester, NY will be highlighted during all of the performances.

NEW FACEBOOK PAGES FOR STSO:

2019 Stonewall@50 Exhibit March 1 – July 31, 2019 Rochester Public Library Downtown Large scale exhibit in the downtown library to commemorate the Stonewall uprising and explore the history of LGBTQ+ communities in Rochester 2019 Stonewall Archives Film Series 2nd Wednesday of Month – Begin Wed., January 9 , 2019 STSO in partnership with ImageOut will screen a film from the ImageOut Archives Every other month beginning in January, 2019.

2nd Annual Anthony Mascioli Rainbow Dialogues: Stonewall 1969 to Present Saturday, March 2, 2018 9:30am – 4 pm Rochester

Central Public Library 7 pm 10pm Little Theatre STSO STON EWALL ARCHIVES AND CULTURAL EVENTS The Out Alliance STSO Program in partnership with the Jewish Community CenterCenterStage Theatre and Blackfriars present the following performances followed by TalkBack discussions to make homosexual views, attitudes and lifestyles in the Jewish and LGBT community visible pre- Stonewall. More information at JCC and Out Alliance.

Indecent by Paula Vogel at JCC MARCH 30 - APRIL 14, 2019 Boys in the Band by Mart Crowley at JCC - Reading MON., APRIL 8, 2019 God of Vengeance By Sholem Asch at JCC - Reading WED., APRIL 10, 2019

3rd LGBTQ Historic Walking Tour Wednesday, April 24, 2019 This tour will focus on LGBTQ historic sites at/near the Genesee Coop at 713 Monroe Avenue. Watch STSO Newsletter, Facebook and Out Alliance FB and Calendar for information The Revolution PreStonewall 4 Saturdays 10am – 11:30am Sept. 7, 14, 21, 28 at Out Alliance Explore the events, and other liberation movements pre-

2019 STSO Stonewall Event and STSO Women’s History Rochester, NY See all events on the Stonewall Community: To View Calendar: http://www. rainbowdialogues.com/stonewall-calendar/ To Adding Events: http://www. rainbowdialogues.com/submitevent/ Watch for information on all events on: STSO Newsletter, Facebook, Out Alliance FB and Calendar, and Stonewall Calendar

R O c h e S Te R ’S FA M ily hOlidAy TRA d iTiON PRESENTS

NOv 29 - dec 29 Kids From

Adults From

$18 $25 Out Alliance Nights at Geva

The second 7pm Sunday performance of every Wilson Stage Series production

January 20

March 3

April 7

May 12

Alliance members receive

% OFF 25 Tickets in Sections A and B

Offer available for specified performances by phone only.

$5 of each discounted ticket purchase will be donated back to Out Alliance!

This offer is exclusive to Out Alliance members only and is NOT available to the public.

(585) 232-4382 • www.GevaTheatre.org

!

Spend wisely this holiday season and support businesses that support your community.

Be sure to let our advertisers know you see them in the Empty Closet and appreciate their ongoing support of this publication and the LGBTQ+ community of the greater Rochester area.

Their advertisements help keep this publication free for all.

OUT ALLIANCE

DECEMBER/JANUARY EVENTS

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 5

InQueery Movie Night Out: The Normal Heart, 7-9pm. Light refreshments provided. $2 donation.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6

Women’s Lunch and Herstory, 12-2pm, “Women in Comedy”: a talk with standup comedian Pat Collins. Chef salad lunch, $3.

Adoption & Foster Parenting 101 Workshop with Todd Ranous, 7-8pm. Light refreshments provided. Free admission.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7

Gallery Q First Friday Imaging Power and Flux opening, 6-9pm, drinks and snacks provided. Jim Morris appropriates imagery and text from both print and internet media and recombines them in multiple layers, commenting on systems and structures of power.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8

Variety Night Out: Starr Revue, 8-10pm (Doors @ 7pm). Vintage variety featuring comedy, music, drag, burlesque, dance, and magic (monthly). $5 suggested donation as cover. [18+ only.]

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12

Women’s Coffee House, 6:308:30pm. Join us at the Community Center for Holiday Candy Making with the “Chocolate Queen” Joy Perrone. Kids are welcome. $3 adults.

HIV 101 workshop, 7-8pm. Monthly community health & wellness series with Trillium. Light refreshments provided. Free!

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13

InQueery Movie Night Out: Fagbug, 7-9pm. Light refreshments provided. $2 donation.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14

Youth Cookie Decorating with Dawn, 7-9 pm. Come have some fun decorating cookies! Bring your sweet tooth! Free to youth 13-20.

LORA meetup with Ambush, 6-9pm at Skylark, 40 S. Union St 14607. See Facebook @ambushrochester for details.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 16

Women’s Brunch: 10:00am-12:00pm, Pixley’s Restaurant, 2235 Buffalo Road, Gates. RSVP to Anne at annet@ outalliance.org or (585)426-0862 so we save you a seat!

MONDAY, DECEMBER 17

Bingo at the Brewery: Holiday Edition, 7-9pm (Doors @ 6pm), Three Heads Brewing. $6 suggested donation as cover.

[21+ only.]

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18

Name Change and Gender Marker Workshop with Milo Primeaux, 6-8pm. Join T-35 for an educational and interactive workshop on how to change your name and gender marker with lawyer Milo Primeaux. Free and open to public.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 19

Transgender Community Dinner, 6-8pm.

Join us for a community dinner with members of the transgender and gender nonconforming community as well as friends, family, partners, and allies of all ages. Free. Vegetarian options provided.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 20

InQueery Movie Night Out: White Christmas, 7-9pm. Light refreshments provided. $2 donation.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 26

Women’s Coffee House, 6:30-8:30pm, Join us for conversation, games and light crafts. There will be a children’s’ craft table.

Learn about Kwanzaa. $3 adults.

(all events at LGBTQ Resource Center unless otherwise noted)

|

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27

InQueery Movie Night Out: Philadelphia, 7-9pm. Light refreshments provided. $2 donation.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 2

InQueery Movie Night Out: Shoulders to Stand On, 7-9pm. Light refreshments provided. $2 donation.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 3

Women’s Lunch and Herstory 12 noon - 2 pm at the Community Center with Kaelyn Rich, local author of “Girls Resist!”, Feminist and Human Rights activist: “Mighty Women, Knowing Them, Becoming Them.” Chef Salad Bar, $3.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 9

2019 Stonewall Archive Film Series, 6:308:30pm, presented by the Out Alliance and Image Out. Free film series exploring Stonewall and the LGBTQ+ movement history.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 11

LORA Meetup with Ambush, 6-9pm, East End Tavern, 37 Charlotte Street. 5 Year Ambush Anniversary Bash.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17

Mental Trauma and the LGBTQ+ Community, 7-8pm. Free admission, part of monthly community health and wellness series. Light refreshments provided.

MONDAY, JANUARY 21

Center is closed to observe Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23

InQueery Movie Night Out: But I’m a Cheerleader, 7-9pm. Light refreshments provided. $2 donation.

MONDAY, JANUARY 28

Self Made Families: Relationships, Family Planning, and Transgender Identity, 6-8pm.

Join T-35 for a panel discussion with community members and local resources.

See page 16 for ongoing SAGE event information

E M P T Y

COMMUNITY

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 21

DECEMBER

JANUARY

1

4

PEACHEZ V.I.P BALL; 8PM-Midnight; The Flying Squirrel 285 Clarissa St, $5 Entry

FIRST FRIDAYS @THE AVENUE BLACK BOX THEATRE; 780 Joseph Ave. Good Vibes, Good Drinks and Great Company

1-16

4–7

THE LEGEND OF GEORGIA MCBRIDE, A Comedy by Matthew Lopez, Directed by David Runzo Special Appearances by Mrs. Kasha Davis and Aggy Dune.

Louis S Wolk Jewish Community Center 1200 Edgewood Avenue, Rochester, NY 14618. Set in a Florida dive bar, the comedy explores unexpected paths for all the characters when Casey (Kevin Plinkze) a down-onhis-luck Elvis impersonator, loses his gig to a pair of Drag queens. Reserved Seating: $33/$29 for JCC Members/$20 Students. Tickets available online: jcccenterstage.org

FIRST FRIDAY LESBIAN GAME NIGHT, Mocha Center; 189 North Water St. 8-10PM

3

10 MOCHA “HEALTHY LIVING” 4-6PM Mocha Center 189 N. Waterstreet

8 & 22 KI KI LOUNGE 6-8PM Out Alliance, 100 College Ave. #100. Mini Balls, Ballroom101s and practice sessions every 1st, 2nd, & 4th Tuesday.

PROPHET OF FREEDOM: Honoring Frederick Douglas in Word and Song. 7PM, Hochstein School; 50 N. Plymouth Ave. Free tickets available via Eventbrite

23

4 & 11

LGBTQ+ AA Meetings

KI KI LOUNGE 6-8PM Out Alliance, 100 College Ave. #100.

Mini Balls, Ballroom101s and practice sessions every 1st, 2nd, & 4th Tuesday.

SUNDAYS • Rochester Gay Men’s AA – 8pm, St. Luke & St. Simon, 17 Fitzhugh St. Closed, men’s AA meeting with speaker/discussion model.

FRIDAYS • Free To Be. 7:30pm, Mack Building, 1587 Jackson Road, Penfield. Open, handicap accessible AA meeting with speaker/discussion model.

• Park Ave Gay Men’s AA – 7:30pm, Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Open, men’s AA meeting with discussion model.

SATURDAYS • The Repair Shop – 5:30—6:30pm, Out Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center. An open AA meeting in a safe space for all, meeting has an evolving weekly format. Open to all - LGBTQ and allies.

SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL • 6:30pm, Central Office Meeting Room, 1000 Elmwood Ave, Greenhouse. Open, handicap accessible AA meeting with speaker/discussion model.

7 FIRST FRIDAYS @THE AVENUE BLACK BOX THEATRE; 780 Joseph Ave. Good Vibes, Good Drinks and Great Company

7 LESBIAN GAME NIGHT, Mocha Center; 189 North Water St. 8-10PM

7- 12 AT SWIM, TWO BOYS; World Premiere adaptation—by Rochesterian MJ Savastano—of Jamie O’Neill’s classic, epic novel. Tickets are available in advance for $5/Students and $12/Adults at www.muccc.org ($15 for Adults at the door).

10 MOCHA QUEER AS LATIN X GROUP 5-6pm for Latinx people in the LGBTQ+ community from ages 14-25, The Mocha Center 189 Waterstreet

23 DIGNITY-INTEGRITY 12TH ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CAROL SING WITH ORGANIST, IVAN BOSNER; 6PM The Episcopal of St. Luke & St. Simon Cyree; 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

MEDIA WORKSHOP WITH JAZZELLE; Mocha Ctr. 189 N. Waterstreet

SERVICES DIGNITY/INTEGRITY Sundays, 5pm, 17 South Fitzhugh Street DECEMBER 2: Episcopal Eucharist with music DECEMBER 9: Catholic Liturgy with Reverend Barb Adams presiding. A Healing Rite will also be held at this service.

DECEMBER 16: Quiet Episcopal Eucharist with Reverend Peter Peters presiding.

DECEMBER 23: Prayers to start the week and potluck supper DECEMBER 30: Catholic Liturgy with Reverend Patti LaRosa presiding.

OPEN ARMS METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH Sundays, 10:30am, 95 Averill Avenue, Rochester, NY, 14620 THIRD PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH Sundays, 8:30am & 10:45am / 4 Meigs Street

Live Proud.

At MassMutual New York State, we help people recognize the joy found in protecting those who rely on us. And we understand that there are unique financial needs when it comes to working with members of the LGBTQ community. Together, we can help you create a financial legacy to be proud of.

MassMutual New York State 716-852-1321 ny-state.massmutual.com

A general agency of Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual), Springfield, MA 01111-0001. Local sales agencies are not subsidiaries of MassMutual or its affiliated companies. Insurance products issued by MassMutual, Springfield, MA 01111, and its subsidiaries, C.M. Life Insurance Co. and MML Bay State Life Insurance Co., Enfield, CT 06082. Securities offered through MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC and a MassMutual subsidiary.

Supervisory Office: 300 Corporate Parkway, Suite 216N, Amherst, NY 14226. 716-852-1321. CRN202012-219051

We’re Hiring!

Join Our Team • LPN • Peer Navigator – MSM • Peer Navigator – Syringe Exchange Program • Retention and Adherence Specialist View positions and apply online at: trilliumhealth.org/en/jobs

Residential • Commercial • Local & Long Distance Boxes & Moving Supplies • Expert Packing Service

Ken’s neat Moving & storage (585)325-NEAT (6328)

NYSDOT #32208 USDOT #967151

80 Cook Street Rochester, NY 14620

Fax: (585) 242-9430 www.kensneatmoving.com

Proudly Serving Rochester Since 1990

Zeyba is a Rochester-based eco-friendly streetwear brand with a line of original, artistic, nature-inspired products. Giving is core to our business model and we team up with NGOs to fund solutions that address the most persistent needs of our natural world. We focus on biodiversity conservation and give 25% of our profits to advance environmental conservation initiatives around the world.

Come view our current product line and help us help the planet!

www.zeybaapparel.com

g ov er. re ta tio n of st ar tin Ex pl ai n ya in te rp ol de r. m at io n, we ge tti n’ M an ife st ya pr oc la in ’ bo ld er ? w fo un da tio n, fe el Re bu ild ya se lf a ne at I to ld he r. ea k yo u, th at ’s wh A sit ua tio n ca n’ t br er. at io n, it’ s ‘b ou t ov De fe at in g m an ip ul r. at in g th e sa m e lo ve He ar ta ch e an tic ip Cr ea ted By : XI

E M P T Y

GNAW ROCS:

DELICIOSO: THE RICH PORT OF ROC El Pilon Criollo 973 North Clinton Avenue

By: REILLY HIRST

There are many reasons to go to El Pilon: a chance to get authentic food in large portions, its pretty cheap, and its clean, as well as a nicely lit take out spot, definitely. However the biggest reason has to do with tasting the culture of 30,000 of our Rochester community. And then there are the pasteles…

So, in SF, I had a unique kind of tamale for Christmas from Guatemala, filled with chicken but cooked inside a banana leaf instead of a corn husk. Available only during Christmas in Guatemala, it was the one time that they would chop up a chicken, bones and all, to make these tamales. The rest of the year, beans and rice were the staples for the majority.

Imagine my surprise then when walking into El Pilon Criollo, a Puerto Rican restaurant, to discover what appeared to be Guatemalan tamales, and in Rochester, where I am pressed to find passable tacos. I was quickly and lovingly corrected: these were pasteles: made with pork and green banana masa, and boiled rather than steamed.

But that was far from the only thing at this smorgasbord: a counter filled with aromas and bright colored foods, I happily also ordered the stewed chicken in the small container to go with my pasteles. That remains my recommendation here, in general, get the stewed! I have since had the baked chicken and the roast pork.

Skip them, there are better versions elsewhere. The sides include yellow rice, green beans, fried plantains, cassava or mangu (mashed plantains similar to mashed potatoes).

There are 3 sizes, small ($5), medium ($7) and the I can eat for a few meals large ($9). I usually skip the larger sizes, because besides already getting pasteles, the medium comes with salad. I don’t want salad at El Pilon. I do not come to have lettuce and tomato with some sort of dressing. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get the large and just gorge on the extra.

If you go on a Saturday, you can also have Mofongo, fried green plantains mashed in a pilón; hence the name, El Pilon Criolli or the Spanish Mortar. This differs from the mangu which is much plainer by adding garlic, broth, meat, and sauce. They also carry fritters filled with a variety of sweet and savory items as well as sandwiches.

Go to El Pilon, not only because it can fill your belly for the same cost as Nick Tahou’s but with less heartburn and more complex flavor, but also, taste Rochester’s most important living legacy: its inhabitants. Puerto Ricans are a large almost invisible part of this community except when the festival happens. Then, traditionally, anything bad that happens at the Puerto Rican festival is blamed on the Puerto Rican community, but anything bad at the St. Patrick’s Parade is just a few bad apples, not the Irish population. To know people, begin by experiencing their culture and history. You will taste not only food, but the possibility of what Rochester is and can be.

Integration does not threaten what we have but expands what we can be. Eating is a pretty lovely way to humanize a divided city that is poorer for the lines between the people living here.

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 25

OUT AND ABOUT: ART IS MORE THAN FINE IN TORONTO

By: MERLE

EXIT

Bismarck, North Dakota’s Capitol, and nearby Mandan, is the home to many attractions that include: the capitol building itself, aka the skyscraper of ND; North Dakota Heritage Center, housing state archives and exhibits; Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center; the Dakota Zoo; and Fort Abraham Lincoln State Park, where you can relive 1875 history.

Pipestem Creek, located at 7060 Highway 9, (701-652-2623) in Carrington was once a huge tourist attraction. It is now called Pipestem Creek Garden Lodging and Nature Retreat that includes a working family farm. It is designed for birders, nature lovers, vacationers, hunters, and anyone who wants a peaceful lovely lodging experience. The company is still owned and operated by Ann Hoffert, who was producing SunFlorals and SunFeeders, naturally designed birdfeeders that are may be available in their treasure shop. www.pipestemcreek.com

Many of the stores in North Dakota sell Lewis and Clark candy bars. The story is that Lindy Sue, the proprietor of the former Mandan Drug, won a suit against the Clark Bar company. It’s a world class state of the art interactive museum.Exhibits include over 100 items from the John Fisher Collection that represent items Lewis and Clark used on the expedition.

Here in Fort Manden is where Lewis and Clark met Sacagawea, Charbonneau, and Chief Sheheke. It is where Sacagawea’s baby JeanBaptiste Charbonneau or “Pomp” was born. Partake in the full-scale, fully furnished replica of Fort Mandan. www.fortmandan.com

While you’re in Bismarck, don’t miss seeing all those cute animals at the Dakota Zoo. Too long to list them all. You can even adopt many of them. www.dakotazoo.org.

Head on to Medora, worth more than just a quick visit.

(800-MEDORA1), located in the Badlands which weren’t that bad.

Although Teddy Roosevelt was a New Yorker, he spent some of his days in this historic and old-fashioned town. I suppose that’s why the Theodore Roosevelt National Park is located in this territory.

The scenery of the park is something else. Almost like viewing quite colorful mini canyons. Lots of wildlife, especially prairie dogs. Can you picture yourself teeing off on one of these mountains and trying to land a hole at another? Not all are like that but at Bully Pulpit, one of the newer golf courses, has the nickname of “land of lost balls” that is quite appropriate.

Take some ribeye steak, place them onto a pitchfork, cook em in boiling oil, and what do you get? Perfectly cooked and tender steaks from Pitchfork Steak Fondue. Every evening at 6 p.m., for about $20 you get a full-cut 11 oz steak with all the all-you-can-devour fixins. The outdoor terrace abuts the Medora Musical, a two-hour professionally produced extravaganza performed at the Burning Hills Amphitheatre. It’s a not to be missed event. www.medora.com

If you are interested in hearing about legends of cowboys, cowgirls and Native Americans in one museum, then the ND Cowboy Hall of Fame is for you. Inside the organization’s gold buckle facility is the North Dakota Cowboy Hall of Fame – Center of Western Heritage and Cultures: Native American, Ranching and Rodeo. www.northdakotacowboy. com.

CUPS OF GOOD CHEER: H O L I D AY

Cocktails

O

some tting together u p n fu d a h m ur tea n

s that will brighte n io st e g g su il) ockta ough cocktail (and m ese are simple en Th s. n tio ra b le ce be up your holiday family and you’ll r o s d n ie fr r fo e e to make at hom ehind one of th b se e th r e rd o ant to nd the in luck if you w affed bars arou st d n a d e n w o many LGBTQ+ . city, new and old

Negroni

ied aged more frenz ils have encour ta ck co en w be fe y, ve or ha year hist upon books “In its hundredNegroni.” Books d ve lo be e th than ooth. experimentation involved, it’s sm tion. It’s bitter, it’s ea cr its to d te dedica ughout cocktail bars thro y of the (many) an in craft d ed fin nc n rie ca u pe il yo to find an ex d se This is a cockta es pr rd ha ssic. If you’re ea and you’ll be n spin on this cla the Rochester ar ow r ei th t ou lined palettes, hasn’t figured th more bitter-inc wi bartender who e os th t gs on d-pleaser am looking for a crow give this a go.

S pa r k li n g B la c k & Ta n

Your favorite stout and sparklin g

cider. Keep your beer and give it a

twist.

½ cup of sparkling cider ¾ cup of stout Pour cider into pint glass Slowly pour stout over the bac k of a spoon to get a separate layer of dark on top Garnish with lemon if desired Make it a Black & Velvet with some champagne in place of the cider.

Mix in equal parts and serve in a champagne flute instead of pint glass.

1oz gin 1oz Campari outh 1oz sweet verm the rocks orange peel on Garnish with an feel the not a gin fan and Mezcal if you’re th wi ni urbon ro bo eg b N su e r try th y agave. O Expert level tip: duction of smok tro in ns on e tio th ta th re wi rp ge enu of inte entire drink chan s a whole sub-m ha 0W (8 r. ie ad and it’s a Boulev this classic.) rested in finding il but if you’re inte ta ck co ze oo -b or pomegranate This is an all th black cherry Mocktail advice: wi t en e rim pe ex rly bitter, her’s bitters (thes something simila two of Fee Brot or sh da es a ak d m an entrate, process that juice, cherry conc erin-extraction that eated in a glyc cr e ar rs ura) to establish tte st bi particular d to, say, Ango se po out op e as , u’r lic yo -alcoho eir advice if them uniquely un bartender for th e rit vo fa ur yo . Ask bittersweet tang . ds en with fri

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 27

Cranberr y Mimosa A classic twist on a Sunday brunch favorite.

Substitute oran ge juice for cr anberry, garnish to your heart’s content, and voila -- an impressive and easy cockta il. If your favorite bar has cranberry juice behind the ‘wood (looking at you, Bachelor Fo rum, 140 Alex, Avenue Pu b), you’re in luck next time you’re out and are looking for something festive to imbibe .

Booz Eggnoyg

Pour 1/4 cup cranberry juic e into each glass and top with champa gn e (or cava or prosec co).

Mocktail advice: Swap out the bu bbly for (non-alcoholic) sparkling cide r or your favorite sparkling water for the sa me fizz and none of the booze.

dy d o T t Ho

The traditional “warm you up” cocktail, the Hot Toddy makes a resurgence during the winters month, especially in cold, dark places like our beloved Rochester. You’ll likely find this on a winter cocktail menu or two around the city (the Spirit Room does a beautiful take on it) and the recipe is simple enough you can make this at home for any late-night guests -- or if you’re looking to chase off the last vestiges of a cold.

Boiling water, to fill a mug 4 Cloves 1 Lemon twist 2 tsp Demerara sugar or brown sugar 1⁄4 parts Fresh lemon juice 2 parts Bourbon, rye whiskey, Irish whiskey or scotch Fill a mug with boiling water and let stand for a minute or two to warm.

Meanwhile, stick the cloves into the lemon twist and set aside.

Empty the mug and fill about halfway with fresh boiling water.

Add the sugar and stir to dissolve.

Add the prepared lemon twist and stir.

Add the lemon juice and whiskey, and stir again.

Mocktail advice: Experiment with different teas, spices, and add-ins (like crystalized ginger or hot sauce) for a non-alcoholic take on this classic. Make it a hot cider (which Lux offers, complete with firepit to warm up next to) if you’re looking to enjoy your local cider in a new way.

mChata in this one makes l holiday drink and the Ru prise Eggnog’s a quintessentia a cocktail menu so sur not likely to find this on it instantly boozy. You’re ‘nog. season with homemade any guests you have this 5 egg yolks 1/3 c. sugar 2 c. milk 1/2 tsp. cinnamon more for garnish 1/4 tsp. nutmeg, plus 1 tsp. vanilla 3/4 c. heavy cream 1 c. Rumchata to combine. isk egg yolks and sugar .

In a large saucepan, wh on heat to medium-low on, and vanilla, and turn k bac the t coa Add milk, nutmeg, cinnam to h ug il mixture is thick eno unt or s, ute min 10 ut Cook for abo of a spoon. Do not boil.

RumChata. ring in heavy cream and Remove from heat, stir . g.

Refrigerate until chilled le with additional nutme r into cups and sprink pou ve, ser to cy. dy fan t rea ge When ks if you want to sugar rim or cinnamon stic Garnish with a cinnamon the RumChata for a non the recipe and withhold low Fol : ice adv ail ckt Mo y version. alcoholic, family-friendl

the table or the bar, Whether you’re gathering around everyone in your party celebrate responsibly and make sure one another and tip to has a safe passage home. Be kind brate the end of the cele you your bartenders well. However , or on your own, both ily, fam ds, calendar year, be it with frien and light. we hope you feel surrounded by love

E M P T Y

C L O S E T |

December / January 2018 | 28

INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS DAY By: SHELBY LIDDLE

International Human Rights Day is held on December 10 in commemoration of the day the United Nations General Assembly adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. This declaration consists of 30 articles that detail the rights and freedoms of every person throughout the world, and has been translated into over 500 languages.

On this day we would like to also consider the frequent violations to these rights that people within our community face every day, all around the world.

ARTICLE 1:

ARTICLE 7:

“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”

“All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.”

As we all know, members of the LGBTQ+ community are not often met with the free and equal rights as are endowed to us; within the U.S. our government consistently oppress the transgender community, from bathroom bills to trying to legally erase trans individuals. Outside of the U.S. there are still countries where you can be harrassed, arrested, and in few countries even killed for being LGBTQ+.

A few examples of human rights violations to people of the community from this past year are a lawsuit filed by a trans woman against the City of New York after being harrassed and publicly searched in the street, two lesbian women were publicly caned in Malaysia after being caught performing lesbian sex, and many more injustices that will never be reported on.

ARTICLE 2: “Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status…”

The fact that sexual orientation and gender identity is not specifically stated as unjust discrimination by this article truly shows how far we still have to go. LGBTQ+ people all around the world face discrimination daily, and this document essentially erases that entire population of people, and shows these places where we are being persecuted that they can look over us, too. The LGBTQ+ population is a vulnerable one, and had the UN included our community specifically it would set an example to all other nations that this is not okay, and they will not stand by and let these injustices happen.

According to the BBC it is still a punishable offence to be gay in 37 countries in the world, and in the last three years 15 of these countries have seen arrests simply on the basis of being part of the LGBTQ+ community. It is hard to know the true number of incidents because in many places the victims will never have the opportunity to speak out.

Within the United States, the trans community face frequent discrimination from the police, according to a study conducted by The NTDS, 22% of trans people experienced bias-based police harassment, with trans people of color reporting much higher rates. 6% of individuals reported physical assault, 2% reported sexual assault, and 20% reported having been denied equal service by law enforcement. These numbers show that the right to respect from members of authority is not equally granted to people of the LGBTQ+ community, especially for trans individuals and people of color.

On this Human Rights Day we would like to appreciate how far we have come as a community in gaining tolerance and acceptance, while remembering those who are still not free to be who they are, or love who they love, as well as those across the world who have lost their lives for doing so anyways. Although we have seen so much progress we cannot stop fighting; until all people are truly seen as equal and given the rights that they are promised, our community must continue to stand up, make our voices heard, and continue to make a difference for generations to come.

E M P T Y

OUT IN PRINT:

review by TERRI

My Journey From Boy to Girl to Woman to Man

SCHLICHENMEYER

It’s not a good fit.

Trans Figured:

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 29

You saw it and loved it, but now you know the truth: it’s too small or too large. Too brassy or too muted. It’s the wrong color or the wrong neighborhood or just not you. It doesn’t fit because maybe, as in the new memoir “Trans Figured” by Brian Belovitch, it’s the wrong gender.

In his family of almost all boys, Brian Belovitch stood out because he lacked something his brothers had in abundance: hypermasculinity.

Belovitch was soft and “chubby” with curls and long eyelashes and was often mistaken for a little girl as a preschooler, which was just fine with him. He enjoyed his femininity, even though he knew that it would get him a beating – if not from his brothers, then from his father.

Even as a young child, Belovitch says, he was overly-curious about sex, and especially about the male body. He recognized early that girls held “no interest” but boys were another matter. He was in fourth grade when he had his first sexual encounter, with a slightly older male classmate.

By his early teens, Belovitch had discovered alcohol and shoplifting.

He’d run away a few times, and visiting gay clubs near his Rhode Island home was, for him, a natural next step. After a traumatic coming-out to his family, he moved in with a man he considered his first real friend; it was through Paulie that Belovitch met a community of trans women.

And that was when “Natalia” was born with “great joy…”

She was beautiful, sexy, “my own special creation,” says Belovitch of himself as a trans woman. As Natalia, she was the toast of New York, a model and actress thanks to hormones, silicones, pilfered clothing, and a desperate need for love. Belovitch got married as Natalia, and divorced; she led him to prostitution, heroin, cocaine, alcohol, HIV, and an attempted suicide. He was Natalia when he reached out to friends and sought therapy.

As Natalia, he took “a… look at the direction in which my life was heading.”

Belovitch was Natalia when he realized that he was “feminineinclined,” but Natalia had to go…

Toward the end of this totally frank memoir, author Brian Belovitch says that if it wasn’t for the AIDS epidemic, his “story would be as common as salt.” Readers may find that arguable, since “Trans Figured” goes well beyond unique.

by

© 2018,

BRIAN BELOVITCH

Skyhorse Publishing, Inc / $24.99 / $38.99 CA / 232 pgs

Beware, though, that it’s going to put you through the wringer.

Belovitch is completely open about the abuse he experienced, and his recounting can be graphic. Beware where you read this book, because it contains nudity inside. Also know that nostalgia for the 1970s may hit you but that’s going to include a breathlessly steep plunge into memories of cocaine, promiscuity, and epidemic.

Still – without giving too much away – there’s a happy ending to this memoir, one that manages to educate readers as it oddly entertains them with stories of times past. It’s a happy ending well-deserved and well-told and, considering the overall uncommonness of “Trans Figured,” it fits.

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 30

H

H

H

ELECTION FOLLOW UP

WHAT’S NEXT? 2018

The Midterm election was not the great “Blue Wave” that Democrats were hoping for, but it was perhaps a rainbow one. The wave became more of a persistent rainstorm on the Republican’s parade which afforded Dems the ability to regain control of the House of Representatives which it hadn’t seen since 2010.

A quick tutorial in politics for the not-so-political: Within the Federal Government, the U.S. House of Representatives makes and passes federal laws. The House and the Senate are two chambers of Congress and both are a part of the federal government’s legislative branch. Up until November 6th, both branches had a Republican majority which gave Trump the ability to pass his initiatives through Congressional approval with relative ease.

Often less of a focal point, but vitally important to the day to day lives of Rochesterians, were the highly contested local races. Typically, less voters make it to the polls for midterm elections nationwide, but Monroe County registered a record number of new voters leading up to the 2018 elections. The numbers indicate that more voters participated in midterm election voting this year than they have in 24 years. Joe Morelle successfully moved to take Louise Slaughter’s open seat in the 25th Congressional District. Andrew Cuomo and Kathy Hochol walked away with a convincing victory for Governor and Lt. Governor over Republicans, Marc Molinaro and Julie Killiam.

Across the country, women and the LGBTQ+ community had an impressive day. Democrat Letitia James, was named the first AfricanAmerican Attorney General in New York State history with 59.6% of the vote. In a very tight race in the state of Kansas, Sharice Davids edged out competitor, Kevin Yoder to be named the first lesbian, Native American Congresswoman. New Mexico also elected their first Native American Congresswoman, Deb Haaland. Two Muslim women, Rashida Tlaib (Michigan) and Ilhan Omar (Minnesota), a Somali-American refugee, also will take their seats in Congress come January. Tennessee elected its first female senator and when the dust settles, Arizona will have elected its first woman senator regardless of who wins as both parties nominated female candidates. South Dakota elected its first woman Governor in Republican, Kristi Noem and Illinois will now have their first African-American Lieutenant Governor, Juliana Stratton.

By: TAMARA LEIGH

More than 100 LGBTQ+ candidates emerged victorious in the 2018 midterms elections, a dramatic shift from the previous 0.1 percent of elected officials nationwide. To many voters great disappointment Lupe Valdez, a lesbian Latinx woman running in Texas, and Christine Hallquist, a transgender woman running in Vermont, were both defeated by their Republican challengers. However, the rainbow flag flew triumphantly this election season. Congressman Jared Polis won comfortably to become Colorado’s first openly Queer governor.

In a letter Polis penned to his 3 year old daughter earlier in the year about their participation in the Women’s March in DC. he spoke of his life’s work in politics and it resonated throughout the DC chambers this midterm election,

“I entered public office because I believe in the power of public policy, changing the laws to reflect our values and create a better future.

But policy is not the only thing that matters. Many of the problems we face today will not be solved through legislation or by politicians. They’ll be solved by people from all walks of life coming together to break stereotypes, break cultural barriers and break ceilings…This is just the start for you. I look forward to you living your life and building the future you desire. Hopefully the glass ceilings will be shattered by the time you get there. But if not, bring a hammer.” er.

November 6, 2018- they brought the hamm

t G O V E R N O R / LT. G O V E R N O R

59% Andrew Cuomo & Kathy Hochul (Dem, WF, Ind, WE) 37% Marc Molinaro & Julie Killiam (Rep, Con, Ref) 2% Howie Hawkins & Jia Lee (Gre) 2% Larry Sharpe & Andrew Hollister (Lib) 1% Stephanie Miner & Michael Volpe (SAM)

t AT T O R N E Y G E N E R A L

t COMPTROLLER

59.6% Letitia James (Dem, WF, Ind)

64.3% Thomas DiNapoli (Dem, WF, Ind, WE)

34.5% Keith Wofford (Rep, Con) 1.2% Michael Sussman (Gre) 0.4% Nancy Silwa (Ref) 0.7% Christopher Garvey (Lib)

30.7% Jonathan Trichter (Rep, Con) 1.1% Mark Dunlea (Gre) 0.6% Cruger Gallaudet (Lib)

t STATE SUPREME COURT JUSTICE (2)

t CONGRESS 27TH DISTRICT

25.7% Ann Marie Taddeo (Rep, Con, Ind) 25.1% Vicki Argento (Rep, Con, WF, Ind)

49% Chris Collins (Rep, Con, Ind)

21.9% Christopher Ciaccio (Dem, WF) 20.8% Patricia Gallagher (Dem)

48% Nathan McMurray (Dem, WF, Ind) 2% Larry Piegza (Ref)

t U S S E N AT E

t CONGRESS 25TH DISTRICT

67% Kirsten Gillibrand (Dem, WF, Ind, WE)

57.5% Joseph D. Morelle (Dem, WF, Ind, WE)

33% Chele Chiavacci Farley (Rep, Con, Ref)

40.6% Jim Maxwell (Rep, Con, Ref)

t S TAT E S E N AT E 5 5 T H D I S T R I C T

t S TAT E S E N AT E 5 6 T H D I S T R I C T

50.5% Rich Funke (Rep, Con, Ind, Ref)

54.3% Joseph Robach (Rep, Con, Ind, Ref)

47.4% Jen Lunsford (Dem)

42.9% Jeremy Cooney (Dem, WF, WE)

Residential • Commercial Service • Installation

THANK YOU

TO OUR DEDICATED EMPLOYEES AND VALUED CUSTOMERS FOR MAKING US A 2018 ROCHESTER TOP 100 COMPANY. SPECIALIZING IN Water Heaters • Heating & Cooling Sump Pumps • Sewer & Drain Cleaning

674 SOUTH AVE, ROCHESTER 10am-9pm DAILY ∙ HEDONISTCHOCOLATES.COM

December / January 2018 | 32

JOIN THE OUT ALLIANCE SPEAKERS BUREAU

Have you ever wanted the opportunity to share your story in order to make a difference? Wanted to be visible for those who can’t be? Or maybe you want to be the person you needed when you were growing up?

If so, then the Out Alliance Speakers Bureau is for you! The Out Alliance Speakers Bureau has been around for over 40 years and is still extremely active. We go out into the community to college campuses, K-12 schools, businesses, hospitals, mental health agencies, faith communities, etc. and educate about LGBTQ+ identities to open hearts and minds with our powerful stories.

In order to become a member, you must participate in both our SafeZone Training and our SpeakOUT Training. Following those two trainings we provide you with an opportunity to practice sharing your story and answer questions in front of a small group. We then offer one-another feedback and support. Once you feel like you are ready and we feel that you are ready, we get you out there!

There is never any obligation ever to go out and present. We completely work with your schedule. You are volunteering for us and we are grateful!

If you have any questions about becoming a Speakers Bureau member or would like to register for an upcoming SafeZone training in order to start the process of being certified, please do not hesitate to reach out to Kayden Miller, Interim Education Director, at Kaydenm@outalliance.org.

Monet’s Waterloo Bridge Vision and Process

NOW ON VIEW | MEMBERS SEE IT FREE

Join us the 2nd Thursday of every month. Locations vary.

Email HRCSecondThursday@gmail.com or follow us on FB @HRCSecondThursday for details on upcoming events.

500

u n i v e r s i t y av e n u e | r o c h e s t e r mag.rochester.edu/join

Claude Monet, Waterloo Bridge, Veiled Sun, 1903. Gift of the Estate of Emily and James Sibley Watson, 53.6

Presented by M&T Bank and the Gallery Council of the Memorial Art Gallery, with additional support from Allen C. and Joyce Boucher, Hurlbut Care Communities, Dr. Dawn F. Lipson, McDonald Family, Riedman Foundation, the Robert L. and Mary L. Sproull Fund, and Woods Oviatt Gilman, LLP. Funding is also provided by Nancy G. Curme, Peter and Kathy Landers, and James C. and Geraldine Biddle Moore.

This exhibition is supported in part by an award from the National Endowment for the Arts, and is also supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities.

In-kind support is provided by the Patricia H. and Richard E. Garman Art Conservation Department at Buffalo State College, Buffalo, New York.

GINGER MINJ Friday, Dec 28 @ 8pm Lyric Theatre Tickets at OfcCreations.com

BALLS: IT TAKES SOME TO GET SOME Creative Director & Author Chris Edwards address Rochester Ad Week

By: ROWAN COLLINS

“Chris Edwards made his advertising debut in 1993 as a copywriter at Arnold Worldwide, a high profile ad agency in Boston.

There he used what he learned working in advertising along with his ever-present sense of humor to rebrand himself and orchestrate what was quite possibly the most widely accepted and embraced gender transition of its kind–at a time when the word “transgender” didn’t exist.”

As part of Rochester AdWeek (styled R/ADWEEK), Edwards delivered the Thursday keynote address -- titled “The Ultimate Rebranding” to a rapt audience of industry professionals of all ages and experience.

Underwritten by local titan Partners + Napier, Edwards’ hour-long delivery was in parts auto-biographical, informative, and down-right charming.

Pouring himself into the R/ADWEEK theme of “All About Authenticity”, Edwards shone as he detailed his life beginning with a 5-year-old assertion that he was a boy (much to his grandmother’s disagreeance) up to his current professional shift into the world of authorship. Having once said to himself that he did not want his transition to define him, Edwards is now faced with...well, having his transition define him.

“That’s where it’s hard,” he said in a one-on-one interview following his address and a public Q&A session. “Instead of being a Creative Director I’m known for something else. It’s a hard adjustment.

It’s challenging but it’s worth it. When I get emails from people who are like “oh my god, thank you so much” or I’ve changed someone’s mind -this guy wrote to me and was like “I’m a die-hard Catholic. I was against this. And I watched one of your talks and you changed me. And who am I to judge what’s best for other people?” Between changing views and then helping people who are transitioning or parents who have kids that are...it’s like okay, it’s worth it.”

But Edwards career is nothing to sniff at and arguably more interesting. If you have ever had the McDonalds “Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish, gimme that fiiiiiish” song or the “McNuggets” rap stuck in your head, you can blame Edwards. He was the first to use YouTube content in a TV spot and is responsible for the Filet-O-Fish earworm.

Most notably, he was part of the creative team on Truth, the anti-smoking campaign aimed at eliminating teen smoking recently named one of the Top 15 Ad Campaigns of the 21st Century.

Edwards seems a natural public speaker, no doubt bolstered by his previous addresses to Apple, Google, The 3% Conference, Deutsch, Harvard, and others. He’s not afraid to get into the knitty-gritty of the emotional, physical, and financial toll transition can take on anyone.

“I enjoy telling my story. Being in advertising I’ve learned if you want to get a message out there and for people to remember it, you have to wrap it in something that’s engaging and entertaining. And a lot of times that requires humor. So I’ve tried to create something that entertains and engages people -- with my talks and the book. This is my voice. I know this is how you do it, this is how you communicate with people.”

His talk not only detailed his own life and transition, couched in marketing terminology that landed exceptionally well in the room (knowing your audience in key), but touched on and confronted deep-seated misconceptions and stereotypes about the transgender community. Carefully constructed from start to finish to accomplish multiple goals, Edwards managed to deliver a monologue that was disarming, funny in the right places, interactive, and felt mostly off-the-cuff. A true feat.

Being a young trans man who was only a year old when Edwards was announcing and beginning the steps of his own transition, this author found a myriad of similarities and parallels as I watched his presentation and again during our conversation afterwards. The simple fact that we both had proper support systems and (for all intents and purposes) a fairly smooth “coming out” process yet still felt decades of internalized transphobia, lacked access to positive images in media, and dealt with a system as yet unprepared for people who may not fit neatly into the box assigned them nearly fifteen years apart is staggering.

Edwards’ speech was a solid reminder that people of trans experience have existed and made their way throughout history and that just because we cannot see someone does not mean they are not there.

Check out Chris Edwards online at chrisedwardsballs.com and find his book at Amazon and Barnes and Noble booksellers. A portion of the proceeds from all sales go to Camp Aranu’tiq, a summer camp and safe haven for transgender youth.

OUTLOOK: #NBNerdyFeels

By: JUSTIN HUBBELL (@justinhubbell)

Save the

DATE! GLITTERAZZI, a Queer Ball!

New Year’s Eve • Monday, December 31st 8:00 pm - 1:00 am Gatsby themed event featuring DJ’s, Drag Queens AND Kings, food, drink specials, WNY Ballroom LSS demo and more! 21 and over.

$40 in advance, $50 at the door.

Tickets at EVENTBRITE.

For more information, call 775-2013 or www.PenthouseROC.com

Hosted at

in partnership with

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 36

THE SCENE :

TAKE A LOOK BACK AT SOME OF THE BEST OF OUR COMMUNITY SCENE IN 2018.

@OUTALLIANCEROC

E M P T Y

C L O S E T | December / January 2018 | 37

THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL YEAR OF EDUCATION, ADVOCACY, AND CELEBRATION.

Hide and seek

Do you trust what your partner is doing online?

Porn and hook-up apps are not harmless; your hurt is real, and your relationship is suffering.

You don’t have to live this way. We can help.

Call Kavod Psychotherapy at 585.546.5180.

KavodRecovery.com

Everyone remembers their first. And for Trillium Health, you were ours. From our earliest days, Trillium has been working, first and foremost, with LGBTQ individuals to prevent and treat HIV/AIDS. And as long as our doors remain open, you will remain a priority.

We understand that not all health centers understand you and make you feel welcome. We do and can help you lead the healthy life you deserve.

trilliumhealth.org | 585.545.7200

care. for you.

youwere our first