Empty Closet, November 2017

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THE EMPTY CLOSET

A PUBLICATION OF THE OUT ALLIANCE SINCE 1972 • NOVEMBER 2017

Love makes a family: celebrating National Adoption Month

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Contents

All about adoption • Images from ImageOut • Out Alliance Block Party • NYS Comptroller on bullying in Monroe County schools • Trans Action • Miss Gay Rochester pageant • Inqueery: HIV transmission • Out & About in N.J.

The Empty Closet November 2017 Number 517

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The Cover: Ari is taking her two dads Gary and Steve Norselli on a wagon ride – enjoying the crisp autumn weather...

A family created with love. Read more about the Norselli family on page 5

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The Out Alliance works to be champions for LGBTQ life and culture. We strive to ensure that all members of the LGBTQ communities, at all stages of their lives, are free to be fully participating citizens, living lives in which they are safe, stable and fully respected.

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Board of Trustees

Colleen Raimond, President Chloe Corcoran, Vice President Jeff Lambert, Secretary Martin Murphy, Treasurer Jason Barnecut-Kearns, Paul Birkby, Sady Fischer, Milo Primeaux, Luis Rosario-McCabe, David Zona

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Executive Director Scott Fearing

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Managing Director Jeffrey Myers Development Director Josh Stapf Education Director Jeannie Gainsburg

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Education Coordinator Rowan Collins Education Coordinator Kayden Miller SAGE Program Coordinator Anne Tischer Database Kat Wiggall Bookkeeper Christopher Hennelly Administrative Assistant Jeana Bonacci-Roth

The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan susanj@outalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Graphic Design Jim Anderson jimandersondesign@me.com Photography Doug Meszler (585) 244-9030 Advertising Jennie Bowker jennieb@outalliance.org.

(585) 244-9030

The Out Alliance

100 College Avenue Rochester, New York 14607 Mon. & Fri., 9am-5pm Tues., Wed., Thurs. 9am-8pm Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Email: info@outalliance.org Internet: www.outalliance.org

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8 New Beginnings and an Enduring Legacy

By Jeff Myers Heraclitus stated, “The only thing constant in life is change.”

In June of this year I began a journey that has brought about much change both to my life and the life of the Empty Closet. I have had the distinct privilege to work with two of the most talented and fabulous individuals: Susan Jordan and Jim Anderson.

For the past 13 years, Jim Anderson has given life to the pages of the Empty Closet as the graphic designer, working from his home office in California. He has an impeccable eye for detail and Jim Anderson, Susan Jordan and Jeff Myers is so fluid in his design. Jim has become my friend and mentor.

Over the course of 28 years in her impressive career as Editor of the Empty Closet, Susan Jordan BURST through the closet door to become a heroine in the queer history of Upstate New York. It has been a privilege to work with her these past few months.

Since June, Susan, Jim, and I have made changes to the format and content of the publication. We want to keep the history and integrity of the publication while making it relevant to readers today. Throughout the process we knew that our energy had to be focused on building the new.

Susan has announced her retirement and will be leaving our team after the December/January edition goes to press, once again bringing change to the EC. Through her leadership, the EC has provided us with a mirror reflecting the incredible diversity of our community. Jim and I are committed to keeping that mirror focused on breaking through the closet doors as Susan did 28 years ago.

There are more changes to come…stay tuned.

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Perspective

Whose religion?

Whose liberty?

By Susan Jordan, The Empty Closet Editor The Trump-Sessions Department of Injustice released guidance on Oct. 5 calling for “broad interpretations of religious exemptions” across the federal government.

It’s now OK with the DOJ to discriminate against LGBTQ Americans.

What’s next? If your religion tells you to discriminate against people of color, that’s OK? If your religion says women and young girls are subhuman property of male owners, that’s OK? Jesus said nothing about hating gays or people of color or about women as objects. But he did say that it’s easier for a camel to pass through a needle’s eye than for a rich man to get to heaven. So does Christianity require us to deny goods and services to wealthy politicians and corporate CEOs? Apparently not…

Rea Carey, Executive Director, National LGBTQ Task Force, gave the best response to the Sessions hatepolicy. “The Trump-Sessions so-called ‘religious liberty’ guidance is completely unsurprising. This Administration has shown again and again that it values the rights of racists, of sexists, of anti-LGBTQ people, and of conservative Christians over the lives of LGBTQ people, people of color, people with disabilities, women, religious minorities including Muslim and Jewish people, and other mar-

OUT ALLIANCE LIBRARY

Monday - Friday: 9am-5pm Tue., Wed., Thu. 6:30-8:30pm We have a 10,000 volume library, and the Bohnett Cyber Center. library@outalliance.org or at 585 244-8640 100 College Avenue, Rochester

ginalized populations. This guidance puts that view on paper and it won’t hold up in court.

“Don’t be fooled – this guidance isn’t meant to protect people of faith. A majority of people of faith are opposed to all forms of discrimination and oppression. This guidance also ignores the fact that there are a wide range of religious views about sex, sexuality, gender identity, and reproductive justice, by instead affirming and promoting the particular views of some conservative Christians.

“This guidance is meant to provide a legal basis for discrimination to anyone who is seeking one. This means that under the guise of faith, a bigot would be cast as a victim in need of protections.

“The guidance is meant to ‘protect’ the anti-LGBTQ child welfare worker who’s opposed to placing young people in foster care with a lesbian couple. It’s meant to ‘protect’ the transphobic shelter worker who refuses to give a transgender person a place to sleep for the night. It’s meant to ‘protect’ the antiSemitic restaurant owner who doesn’t want to serve a Jewish customer. It’s meant to ‘protect’ the pharmacist who wants to make decisions for others and refuses to administer birth control. The list goes on.

“This guidance won’t stand because we won’t stand for it. Attorney General Sessions was tasked with writing this guidance in accordance with wellestablished federal law on religious exemptions. Instead, he issued guidance that would cause immeasurable harm to millions of people.

“This guidance comes the day after a leaked memo from AG Sessions in which he ignored well-established court precedent interpreting protections against sex discrimination to include gender identity, and on the same day that a rule from the Department of Health and Human Services was released that would repeal mandated access to contraception. We’ve been watching the steady ebb of our rights being washed away; today we’re standing in the flood.”

See Page 16

The Out Alliance Comes Out! On October 11 – National Coming Out Day – the Gay Alliance changed our name to the Out Alliance. A cornerstone of our community since 1973, the Alliance has fought tirelessly for the LGBTQ+ community and empowered members to advocate for progress and change.

We see “Out” as a way to embrace the innumerable ways our community lives and loves. Out, to us, means authenticity. That each member of our community - at all stages of life and identity - feels respected and validated.

To celebrate this monumental step in our journey, we partied with our community in some typical Rochester fall weather. Drag shows, fabulous food and drinks, and some special announcements made the night a blast!

Check out the fun on page 16.

The Making of a Forever Family Two families talk about adoption

Steve and Gary Norselli

By Rowan Collins From almost the moment they met, Steve and Gary Norselli knew they wanted a family of their own.

The duo, real estate agents and Roc Pride sponsors, worked in the months leading up to their 2014 wedding to be prepared to adopt and signed with an adoption agency the day they returned from their honeymoon. Steve – a Greece native who studied I.T. at SUNY Alfred and Brockport – and Gary – an RIT business and marketing grad from central NJ – are the proud parents of Ari, a beaming preschooler who is, in her dads’ words, “becoming very chatty!”

The path to parenthood was long and full of paperwork, classes, home studies, and multiple false starts, but both say every second was worth it.

“Having the opportunity to adopt our daughter was life’s greatest gift.”

To begin, the Norsellis signed with an agency that specialized in domestic newborn adoptions but also focused on handling the topic of adoption with the child and others throughout their life. Throughout the process, research and connecting with community members were key.

“I’d encourage anyone considering the adoption process to thoroughly research and talk to different local and state resources. Once we started talking to people and sharing our plan, we had the opportunity to learn about and hear from others in our own community who have gone through the process, and be able to collect their advice,” says Gary.

When they started the adoption process as a gay couple, Steve

and Gary found an unfortunate lack of local resources for LGBT parents. Luckily, the Rochester chapter of Pride and Joy Families has since formed to provide resources, events, and information for LGBT families.

“It’s a great way to connect with other LGBT parents, share ideas and experiences, set up playdates, and more!” notes Steve.

The Norsellis were matched with Ari’s birthmother nine months after they signed with the agency, but the selection process was only part of the emotional rollercoaster. Gary remembers, as new parents, they learned that NYS law allows birth parents 30 days after adoption proceedings begin to reconsider. “Although we were beaming with pride and joy being new parents, we were terrified of the prospect that one day the agency could call us and tell us the birthmother changed her mind.

“The process officially came to an end about nine months after Ari was born, when we finally signed her final adoption papers in front of a court judge, deeming us Ari’s parents.

While we already considered her ‘ours’ from the time she was born, it was a relief to have it finalized!”

Both Steve and Gary credit each other, their relationship, and a strong support network with helping pave the road to become a family. “We are blessed to be surrounded by amazingly supportive family and friends – we’ve never felt like anyone questioned whether we should adopt, or whether two men can raise a child.”

Steve adds, “Being secure in who we are individually and as a couple made a big difference throughout the process.” While the paperwork, classes, and home study were grueling and demanding, they say it “taught (us a

lot about ourselves). It’s shown us just how much we are there to support each other.”

With Ari entering pre-school, Steve and Gary have found themselves searching for the perfect balance of work, life, time management, exhaustion, and patience that all families do.

In between their real estate business and raising Ari, they still find time to volunteer with the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life and the Out Alliance.

As they give back to the community and grow their business, they say that in everything they do, “we now always think first and foremost about

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Ari. We strive to help her learn and explore not just the world around her, but who she is. We want to encourage her to try new things, understand right from wrong, and be a compassionate human being. It’s an unbelievable feeling knowing that you’re responsible for a child, and that through unconditional love, caring, and constructive learning, you can help shape them into a sweet and kind child. Parenthood certainly comes with its challenges, but it is completely worth it!”

(Stories continue on page 6)

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The Making of a Forever Family Two families talk about adoption

Jamie Allen and Alice Carver-Kubik

By Rowan Collins Jamie Allen and Alice CarverKubik, Associate Curator of the Eastman Museum’s Department of Photography and Research Scientist at the Image Permanence Institute at RIT, respectively, spend their free time as co-curators of Gallery Q, Alliance volunteers, and ImageOut committee and board members. The couple has been readying themselves for adoption for years and shared their experiences with us.

“Adoption is something that we have thought about for years. We know that adopting a child is something we would like to do together,” said Carver-Kubik. “We know that we can provide a loving supportive home filled with adventure and joy.

We also have amazing friends and family, who are also prepared to love our future children,” Allen added.

To begin, Allen and Carver-Kubik attended multiple local sessions to find out about the process, learning what it would take to adopt, while also confronting the restrictions placed on same-gender potential adoptive parents.

“We learned that, as a married queer couple, we could only adopt domestically; this felt limiting, but we know that there are children in our own country that need a home.”

After years of preparing their home, they attended a Pride and Joy Families conference in Binghamton where they were able to see diverse families “that looked like the family we were working towards building,” as well as meet agencies. “We felt it was important to find one that supported our unique family,” Carver-Kubik noted.

With thorough research of avail-

able agencies, they settled on one that emphasized community building and continued support for birth families, and was committed to LGBTQ families. As part of the process, they continue to take classes and are home study approved. For now, however, it is a waiting game. “We have been waiting for about a year to be connected with a birth family.”

Based on agency trends for queer couples, it could take up to three years for Allen and Carver-Kubik to be matched.

Not ones to sit back and wait, however, the couple are expanding their opportunities to care by working to become foster parents as well.

While the adoption process is long and intensive, they say that having each other has made the endeavor possible. “Alice is the one who does all the work… no, really. Alice is amazing!

We would not be on track without all of […the] tasks she has accomplished,” Allen insisted. Carver-Kubik added, “Jamie is the paperwork gatherer and checklist ticker. She made sure that everything that was needed along the way was gathered neatly in a pile to deliver to the agency. Jamie is amazing, too! Together, we are able to support each other through the ups and downs of the process.”

While there have been countless steps and stumbling blocks for the couple, they are confident that their family will grow. “It is easy to be discouraged, and often difficult for others who aren’t familiar with the process to understand why it’s taking so long. The right children are out there for us. If you know someone who is looking for a home for their future child, send them to our Facebook page to learn more about us!”

The couple can be found at “Alice Jamie Adopt” on Facebook.

Love Makes a Family...

Resources that make family possible

Adoption STAR has HRC approval Adoption STAR is a New York State Authorized adoption agency headquartered in Amherst (suburban Buffalo), New York.

In our 17 years of existence, we’ve placed over 900 children with their “forever families.” Our agency has programs that focus on domestic infant adoption, as well as older child adoption. In addition to our headquarters in Western New York, we have satellite offices in Fort Lauderdale and Cincinnati, as we’re licensed by the states of Florida and Ohio, too.

Adoption STAR has secured the Human Rights Campaign’s (HRC’s) “All Children All Families” Seal of Approval, as we’re noted for our leadership and cultural competency in providing services to LGBTQ+ individuals, couples, and families. We have a proven track record of placing children with LGBTQ parents, have staff and board members that openly identify as LGBTQ, and consistently participate in advocacy work on behalf of the LGBTQ community.

If you’re looking for an adoption service provider that welcomes, supports, and actively encourages members of the LGBTQ community to consider becoming adoptive parents, Adoption STAR is an agency well worth your consideration.

To learn more about us, visit our website at www.adoptionstar.com, e-mail us at info@adoptionstar.com, or call us at 716-639-3900.

Jewish Family Service invites you to the Adoption Place Jewish Family Service of Rochester has been involved in adoption for virtually all of its 90+ years of existence.

Helping to find safe, loving, permanent families for children is one way the agency aims to live up to its mission of “tikkun olam”, or, “improving the world”, in a context of dignity and kindness.

We serve all, regardless of race, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, gender expression or gender identity. Couples and individuals come to The Adoption Place at JFS in order to complete an adoption home study, their “passport” to the next step in their adoption journey.

JFS is proud of its decades-long history of providing home study services to LGBTQ individuals and couples. Clients coming to JFS can expect to be welcomed into a mutual and respectful process of exploration and education. We help our clients seek out and identify the right options for them to reach their goal, be that the adoption of a domestic infant or an older, waiting child. We refer our clients to placing agencies who actively and competently work with LGBTQ families and we main-

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tain a committed networking relationship with these agencies throughout the home study, waiting, and post placement periods.

We help our clients examine what they hope and dream for as adoptive parents, as well as looking into the loss and identity issues that are integral to the experience of any adopted child. We ask tough questions in an atmosphere of support and encouragement. We honor the life experiences that our LGBTQ clients bring to the table which uniquely prepare them for adoptive parentingcelebrating differences, responding to challenges, in order to help their children become who they are truly meant to be.

You can adopt! Come talk to us about how we can help you take the next steps in your adoption journey at a free information seminar on Tuesday, Nov. 14, from 6-7:30 at the Out Alliance. Please RSVP to Laura Glasner, Adoption Director at JFS, lglasner@jfsrochester.org or (585)4610110.

Monroe Co. places many children, youth with LGBT families

By Todd Ranous, Monroe County Adoption Services Monroe County has a long-standing history working with developing Foster/Adoptive homes in the LGBT Community.

When a youth comes into foster care the first goal is to return the child to their parent or a relative resource, sometimes that does not happen. If a youth cannot go home to a resource, the foster family will be asked if they want to adopt the child.

We have many LGBT families that have adopted youth that have been placed in their care.

We have had several LGBT foster parents adopt children and we have had LGBT foster parents adopt teens.

Recently a couple from the LGBT Community adopted a gay teen. The teen had all but given up on being adopted until being placed in this home.

We have LGBT kids in care who are looking for ongoing homes. We have had trans youth who have lingered in residential placements and are looking for a family and a place to call home. This leaves us with a special need for teen homes.

Monroe County Department of Human Services strives to give all of the children in their care safe and loving families, whether it is a short-term foster care home or an ongoing forever family.

Adoption Statistics • According to Gay Adoption.org, a social shift is occurring. The incidences of gay adoption and gay parenting are growing exponentially.

Approximately 2 million LGBT people are interested in adopting.

• An estimated 65k adopted children are living with same sex/gay parents.

• Gays and Lesbians adopt at a slightly higher rate than married heterosexual couples. The racial/ethnic breakdown of children adopting by same-sex couples is 53% White, 14% African-American, 18% Hispanic/Latino, and 11% Asian/Pacific Islander.

• Research suggests that gender-identity and sexual orientation develop in the same ways among same sex parents as they do among children of heterosexual parents.

• On Average, same-sex couples raising adopted children are older, more formally educated, and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents. The average income for same sex couples raising adopted children is 102k versus 82k for opposite sex married couples.

Households with Children in the United States

Married Unmarried Same-Sex Opposite-Sex Opposite-Sex Couples Couples Couples

Households 22,872,151 w/children

2,267,016

94,627

Biological only

90.80%

88%

72.80%

Step only or adopted only

4.40%

5.20%

21.20%

Combination 4.80%

6.80%

6%

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LGBTQ+ Life

Ron Schutt of PrintRoc

By Rowan Collins “I like coming into work, seeing the parking lot full of cars, and knowing I created those jobs.”

Ron Schutt, owner and president of PrintRoc, grew up in the Southern Tier and worked on farms in his youth. After a twoyear term in the Air Force, Schutt took a job in the printing department of a LeRoy notebook factory.

Though a years-long turn at the ARC of LivingstonWyoming was emotionally fulfilling and tapped the compassionate nature Schutt embodies, the mid2000s saw him land at Pinnacle Printers.

As the general manager, Schutt grew nervous when the owner looked to sell the business in 2008. “I really wanted to save my employees’ jobs,” he says, “I had hired everyone who worked for me by that point.

“I decided to buy it.”

Located in the South Wedge, Pinnacle Printers became PrintRoc under Schutt’s hand in the early 2010s. For five years, Schutt and his then-boyfriend (now husband) Dan McCarthy worked to buy the business with a priority of keeping all nine employees and maintaining the well-known location.

When they officially opened in 2013 as PrintRoc, Schutt says he found bringing business back “surprisingly difficult”. Sales had dropped by concerning percentages and Schutt and his team had their work cut out for them as they built a new reputation as the reliable, friendly, and local family business they are known as today.

“We really are a big family,” Schutt says of his employees. “We have a really diverse community within our business.”

A major tenet of Print-

Roc’s operation is working closely with community organizations to make sure their printing needs are met – and often exceeded! Print Roc has handled countless brochures, training manuals, cards, signs, posters, banners, and papers for the Out Alliance over the years.

Schutt’s husband, Dan, also volunteers for the Out Alliance at the front desk at least once a week.

Though his business is increasingly successful and the number of clients PrintRoc serves continues to grow, Schutt is modest in his altruism. With clients ranging from small local agencies to Fortune 100 companies, PrintRoc pro-

vides services designed to make business feel less like a battle and more like a deal with a friend.

“I’m in business to pay my bills, keep people’s jobs, and do good for the community. If you’re bending over backwards for someone else, it’s not to get the thanks – it’s to help.”

For the future, Schutt is excited about new clients and projects lined up for the new year, but insists he wants to make sure PrintRoc stays in the South Wedge, hires community members, and continues to serve Rochester. “I like employing people…it’s a good feeling. It’s one you can’t buy.”

News to Use

has issued three recommendations: to encourage and train school administrators to work with students; to work on safety, identify “areas of confusion” and determine how and when to report Dignity Act violations and last, to develop a risk assessment tool to educate school officials on how to file reports, understand the importance of records and identify when schools may be out of compliance.

DiNapoli said the hope is to see the trend of incidents go down. His office will continue to work with the state Education Department, with a focus on compliance with the Dignity for All Students Act, and will issue a follow-up report in “a year or so. In providing education free of harassment, there is still much work for us all to do.”

Dana Miller, Thomas DiNapoli and Harry Bronson. Photo: Susan Jordan

“There’s opportunity for improvement”:

DiNapoli holds press conference here on discrimination in local and state schools

By Susan Jordan Thomas DiNapoli, NYS Comptroller, held a press conference on Oct. 13 at the Out Alliance LGBTQ Resource Center, about his office’s report on discrimination and harassment in Monroe Co. schools, and all across the state.

NYS Assemblymember Harry Bronson and Rochester City Council member Dana Miller also spoke, stating that harassment and bullying cannot be allowed to interfere with students’ right to an education.

In Monroe Co. from 20152016, 2,815 incidents of violations of the Dignity for All Students Act took place, as well as 90 cyber bullying incidents, with 16,938 violations of the Act reported statewide.

Comptroller DiNapoli said that his office is “expected to follow up on rules and regulations” established by the state legislature. He said that New York State takes a strong position against discrimination of all kinds, including homophobic bullying and gender discrimination. “We want to make sure we’re protecting all students.”

He added that Rochester has a history of commitment to these issues; “Monroe County is a microcosm.” The numbers here are similar to the statewide average. However, DiNapoli said, Penfield and Irondequoit high schools did not report incidents which should have been reported.

East High School reported 841 incidents in 2014-2015, then only 57 the following year,

when the University of Rochester took over.

DiNapoli further stated that the state Education Department needs more guidance and to be more aggressive in combating the problems.

Nearly a third of schools statewide do not report incidents, or retain records of reports, and “that’s troubling.”

Out Alliance Education Coordinator, Rowan Collins, says that along with greater education and training on the Dignity Act, the reporting process needs to be more accessible: “Lots of schools in our area have made the information available online to parents and guardians but it may not be as available readily to students, who are so often the ones reporting these incidents.”

The Comptroller’s Office

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bias and discrimination and remain in the closet, is cruel and un-American. We will fight back and make sure that all Americans, including our LGBT elders, get the fair treatment and dignity they deserve.

We will not settle for anything less than that,” said Dr. David Kilmnick, President and CEO of the New York LGBT Network.

The rule was proposed after the United State Supreme Court’s 2013 Windsor v. U.S. verdict, which knocked out section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. It mandated that the US government would recognize same-sex marriages. This would now replace President Obama’s administration’s proposed rule.

Dept. of Interior moves rainbow flag NY LGBT Network blasts off federal HHS for killing land, refuses to sponsor proposed rule to protect LGBT flag-raising at Stonewall seniors The New York LGBT Netmonument

work on Oct. 10 blasted the U.S. Health and Human Services department, which is eliminating a proposed rule to ensure same sex spouses equal treatment in long term care facilities that receive Medicare and Medicaid funds.

“This is yet another despicable action by President Trump in his administration’s relentless assault on the rights of LGBT people. To withdraw a rule that would simply afford equal treatment for LGBT seniors in long-term care is nothing short of evil and inhumane. Attacking our seniors, many of whom had to live their lives facing intense

According to Andy Humm at Gay City News: What should have been a celebration dedicating the raising of the Rainbow Flag at the Stonewall National Monument in Greenwich Village on Oct. 11 … turned into another attack on LGBTQ people by the Trump administration….

The National Park Service’s Barbara Applebaum, who arranged the permit for the event, dropped out as a speaker at the ceremony — her office citing a schedule conflict — and organizers of the event said

(Continued on page 11)

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11 (Continued from page 9) in a release that the Park Service dropped its sponsorship of the event.

When it saw the pre-publicity on

the ceremony, the National Park Service under Secretary Ryan Zinke’s Department of the Interior worked to certify that the flagpole adjacent to Christopher Park was not technically on federal land so that no Rainbow Flag would be flying on US government property.

Ann Northrop, co-host of Gay USA, who … (presided) over the dedication, said, “This is an unbelievably petty, sleazy, transparent bit of cruelty by the Trump administration. Evidently, we are so filthy to them and their right-wing supporters that they can’t even be associated with a few yards of rainbow fabric.”

Paul Feinman becomes first openly gay judge on NY Court of Appeals On Oct. 18, The New York LGBT Network praised and applauded Justice Paul G. Feinman, the first openly gay judge to be sworn into the New York Court of Appeals - the state’s highest court.

“This historic day will serve as a groundbreaking moment for so many young LGBT people in our community who may have never have thought it was possible to obtain such a prominent position while also being able to stay

true to oneself,” said Dr. David Kilmnick, President and CEO of the New York LGBT Network.

“Justice Feinman will be an excellent addition to the New York State Court of Appeals,” said Dr. Kilmnick.

“I thank him for his service, as well as Governor Andrew Cuomo and so many of our New York State lawmakers for having the wisdom and foresight to choose him.”

Geneseo students accuse lecturer of transphobic comments According to Meaghan M. McDermott in the Oct. 22 Democrat & Chronicle: State University College at Geneseo students have accused an instructor of making transphobic comments during a sociology class.

Student Jasmine Cui said that adjunct lecturer David Sorbello showed his class a slide titled “FEMALE OR HE-MALE? Can you tell?”

According to a letter to the school administration, signed by over 50 students, Sorbello joked that the students shouldn’t drink too much or they might “go home with an individual who is transgender”.

Geneseo President Denise A. Battles said that Geneseo has a commitment to diversity and is investigating the incident.

-MCDERMOT@Gannett.com

Chris Guarino passes at 38 Christopher A. Guarino passed away on Sept. 28, at the age of 38. He is survived by his parents, Kenneth and Laurie; brothers, Brian (Monica) and their son, Owen, and Paul (Krystal); grandfather, Arthur Meredith; many extended family and close friends.

“He was a special gift and left an everlasting impression on all who knew him.” – NewComerRochester.com

Community mourns Jim Goff The Rochester community has lost a much-loved member, Jim Goff, who passed away on Sept. 26 after a long struggle.

Jim, “a gentle and peaceful man with great wit,” is survived by his loving husband Brian Hurlburt and many family members. A memorial service was held for Jim on Oct. 21 at the First Unitarian Church.

H E A DLI N E S National and International News

Read the breaking national and international LGBTQ news five days a week on EmptyClosetNews/Facebook and outalliance. org, click on Empty Closet.

It’s now legal in Mississippi to discriminate based on homophobic hate

Mississippi law HB 1523 took effect on Oct. 6. It will allow officials and healthcare providers in the state to discriminate freely against LGBTQ individuals due to their own “moral” or religious objections. – Towleroad.com

Four students brutally beat NJ trans teenager

According to Andy Towle on Towleroad.com: Kylie Perez, a 14-year-old transgender student at East Side High School in Newark, NJ was brutally beaten this week (Sept. 26) by four students and said she is constantly bullied…

UN Human Rights Council Condemns Death Penalty For Homosexuality, United States Votes Against Resolution

“Horrific laws” condemning people to death because of whom they love are the focus of a new international proposal. “The question of the death penalty” resolution to denounce the most severe punishment for consensual same-sex relations was passed on (Sept. 29) by the 47-member United Nations Human Rights Council in Geneva. The US voted against the resolution.– Gay Star News, JoeMyGod

Egypt “escalates LGBT crackdown”

Egyptian authorities have arrested at least 22 people … as part of a campaign against LGBT people, Amnesty International says.–BBC News

SPLC wins asylum for trans woman who would be killed in Guatemala

A transgender woman who was beaten and threatened with death when she refused to collect extortion money for a Guatemalan drug cartel, was raped and tortured by Guatemalan police, and received death threats from her coworkers because of her gender identity, has been granted asylum in the United States, the SPLC announced Oct. 3.

Trump DHHS erases LGBTQ Americans from strategic health plan According to Andy Towle on Towleroad.com: The erasure continues.

Trump’s Department of Health and Human Services released its strategic plan FY 2018-2022 and gone are all mentions of anything LGBTQrelated, the Human Rights Campaign reports.

Sessions says trans Americans not protected by law

“Although federal law, including Title VII, provides various protections to transgender individuals, Title VII does not prohibit discrimination based on gender identity per se,” Trump’s Attorney General Sessions wrote in a memo to Justice Department officials, and reported in Buzzfeed. … Title VII was a landmark civil rights law that banned discrimination in employment, schools, and voter registration on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, and sex.

DOJ “religious freedom” guidance makes LGBTQ employees second class citizens

GLAAD on Oct. 5 condemned guidance issued that morning by United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions, which invites taxpayer funded federal agencies, government employees, and government contractors to legally discriminate as long as they cite a religious belief as the reason for doing it.

Here are some of our favorite blogs and websites for national and international LGBTQ news: • pinknews.co.uk • Towleroad.com • queerty.com • JoeMyGod.com • GayCityNews.com • TheAdvocate.com • gaystarnews.com • LGBTQnation.com

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Community

PFLAG Rochester PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) was founded in 1973 by the late Jeanne Mansford. It promotes the health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

We are the Rochester NY chapter of “Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays.” Here you’ll find support, education, and allies who advocate for full inclusion of the LGBT people we love.

We meet the third Sunday of every month from 1-3pm at LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave.; 585-993-3297; rochesterpflag@gmail. com

Rochester Kink Society Rochester Kink Society is a member-run BDSM organization in Rochester, New York dedicated to openness, tolerance, safety, and education. We are a pansexual organization and do not discriminate on the basis of gender, gender expression, sexual orientation, or fetish.

RKS has people of all genders,

gender identities, and gender expressions, cis-gender and transgender folks alike who are single, coupled, and polyamorous. We are Masters, slaves, Dommes, submissives, switches, Tops, bottoms, Leather folk, fetishists, Goths, and others. Members and guests are expected to attend RKS functions with an open mind and mutual respect, as well as learn and practice scene etiquette.

Want to meet us in a casual environment? We invite anyone interested in BDSM and/or RKS to come meet us at one of our munches or socials.

Anyone ages 18+ is welcome to come visit us on the first Thursday evening of every month from 7-9pm at Bathtub Billy’s on W. Ridge Rd (in the back room) or on the third Sunday of every month (except August) from 2:30 – 4:30pm at Jay’s Diner on W. Henrietta Rd in the private side room.

You can find information about us, including our upcoming educational events on our website at www.rochesterkinksociety.com * RKS has been SafeZone Trained by the Out Alliance. ** RKS is a proud sponsor of Ride For Pride, the Out Alliance bike ride fundraiser 2014, 2015, and 2016!

Website Address: http://rochesterkinksociety.com/home.html

ROMANS Members of the Rochester Male Naturists (ROMANS) had fun at its underwear-themed October gathering.

After the regular meeting and eating, everyone got creative to showcase his fantasy underwear and that drew a lot of laughter. The advantage of being a nude group is that when it comes to underwear nothing is inappropriate and nothing is too sexy.

On the first Saturday of October we joined members of Naturist Rochester at its first nude swim of the season. Before the swim, our members kept the tradition of having a clothed dinner at a diner to meet and greet potential members and curious friends.

Naturist Rochester’s nude swims continue on every first Saturday of the month, from now until April 2018. There are also three Men Only

nude swims scheduled this season to be held at NR’s club house basement. A detailed nude swim schedule is on our website at http://www.wnyromans.com.

ROMANS is a social club for gay and gay-friendly male nudists over 21. We host nude social events in and nearby Rochester neighborhood. For more information, contact us at message line 585-354-8979, by E-mail wnyromans@yahoo.com or via regular mail at PO Box 92293, Rochester, NY 14692.

Pride and Joy Families - Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project Our Mission: The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project is dedicated to helping lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) people in upstate NY achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. We do this by providing support, advocacy, information, and access to community as well as sensitive health care and services.

Our Vision: The Project envisions itself as a leader in bringing about a State of New York in which LGBTQ families are valued and feel safe enough to be visible in our communities -- where we are physically and emotionally healthy and legally secure, where we live without fear, stigma or isolation.

Binghamton University, PO Box 6000, Binghamton NY 13902; prideandjoyfamilies@gmail.com

Dignity-Integrity Since March, 1975, DignityIntegrity Rochester has been welcoming all who come through our doors, worshiping every week at 5pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., at the corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of November, 2017.

November Services: 1st Sunday: Episcopal Liturgy, with music and Healing Service 2nd Sunday: Catholic Liturgy, with music 3rd Sunday: Catholic Liturgy, with music 4th Sunday: Prayers to start the Week followed by Potluck.

The theme for the November pot-

luck is “Food We Are Thankful For”.

This month’s potluck dinner falls on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

Bring your favorite food… or you may simply be thankful that there are leftovers from Thursday’s feast so you won’t have to cook! There is always plenty, so don’t worry if you’ve no time to shop or cook. All are welcome! After each service during the remainder of the month we’ll be gathering for fellowship around a tasty coffee hour and going out to a local restaurant for dinner. Join us anytime!

SAVE THE DATE!: Join us on Friday, December 22 as we host the 11th Annual Christmas Hymn Sing!

Once again Tim Schramm will lead us on piano and organ in singing many of your favorites, followed by a cookies & punch reception. Take a break from shopping and wrapping to sit back and enjoy the spirit of the season. If you haven’t been to this before, be sure to mark your calendar!

Further details will be online and in the December edition of the Empty Closet.

Remember that you can always call the Hotline at 585-234-5092 or check our website at www.di-rochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

Open Arms MCC Our morning service and Sunday School are at 10:30 a.m.

Weekly Bible study is on Wednesdays, 11 a.m to 12 p.m.

Our Annual Thanksgiving Potluck Community Dinner will be on Saturday, November 18 from 6 to 8 p.m. and ALL are invited!

Open Arms is committed to Building Bridges and Changing Lives.

We are open and accepting and believe that there are many paths to God. We believe that within every person is the spark of the divine and therefore everyone is welcome no matter their gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, marital status, color, ethnicity, faith, etc.

No matter who you are or what you believe you are welcome to come and be a part of Open Arms.

We are located at 707 East Main St., across from the Delta Sonic Car Wash. There is plenty of free parking in front and to the side of our building.

For updated information on coming events and to view our facilities, check our website: openarmsmcc.org.

Call the church if you would like to receive our monthly electronic newsletters.

Our Community Center and Sanctuary are available for rental check our Craigslist ads for prices and pictures of our spaces.

Our Pastor, Brae Adams, has office hours on Wednesdays, from 10 a.m. 2 p.m. and by appointment. (Please call first to make sure she’s available.)

Open Arms regular office hours are Thursdays and Fridays from 12 to 4:00 p.m. and our phone number is (585) 271-8478.

You can adopt!

Adoption Information Seminar Presented by Adoption Place of Jewish Family Service of Rochester

Tuesday, November 14, 6-7:30pm The Out Alliance 100 College Avenue Rochester, New York 14607

RSVP: lglasner@jfsrochester.org, 585-461-0110

NYS authorized adoption agency Made possible by

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ROC Out Youth

Hangout Days Fun and Free for Youth Monday and Thursday afternoons now see a gaggle of LGBTQ+ young people come into the Rochester LGBTQ Resource Center for Youth Hangout. The Hangouts are free and open to any LGBTQ+ youth and allies who want somewhere safe and supportive to chill, finish homework, get tutoring assistance, work on group projects, and just be. The afternoons begin with ice breakers, ground rules, and allow time for checking in – so everyone gets to share how they are doing and what’s happening in their life.

The Youth Hangout is a no-pressure, inclusive, and safe environment that also lets young people meet and connect with each other. Teens from all over the Rochester area have come to Youth Hangout and the numbers keep growing. Come join us every Monday and Thursday from 4:306:30pm at the LGBTQ Resource Center – 100 College Avenue 14607.

Create an Autumn Rainbow with Tangent Join Tangent, our trans and gender expansive youth group for Rainbows of Autumn! Eri will demonstrate how to extract pigments from leaves to make rainbows, and then we will break up into smaller groups to create rainbow leaves of our own. While these leaves are drying, we will also fill out paper leaves detailing what we’re thankful for; we will put these leaves on the tree in the main lobby, as will other groups! This meeting will be taking place on the second Tuesday of November (November 7th) from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the LGBTQ Resource Center (100 College Avenue 14607).

Paris is Burning! with the Movie Club The Out Alliance Youth Cinema Club is celebrating the history of drag and how it has changed throughout the decades! Each month will focus on a different movie – a mixture of historical talking points, education, and comedy. An analytical discussion follows each movie.

Join us at the Rochester LGBTQ Resource Center on Friday, December 8 for Paris is Burning, the seminal documentary that chronicles the ball culture of NYC and introduced the world to legendary Houses of drag and performance. Refreshments will be provided and the program runs 6-8pm.

Keep an eye out for future films – showing every second Friday of the month until May 2018 – like This is Drag, Some Like it Hot, Drag Becomes Him, Straight Laced, To Wong Foo, Wig Stock, and Drag Kings.

All-Night Party at November Youth Lock-In! Join the Out Alliance Youth Program and LGBTQ+ youth and allies from all over the Rochester area at the Rochester LGBTQ Resource Center (100 College Avenue 14607) for an all night party! Doors open at 7pm on Saturday, November 11 and open back up at 7am Sunday, November 12.

There will be food, drinks, games, movies and chances to win some prizes! This event is FREE but you must pre-register. Every person must register for themselves – if your friends want to attend they have to register themselves! Search “Out Alliance Youth Lock-In” on Facebook or go to bit.ly/2yJSikG for more info!

Fun Home: B-Out Theatre Club The B-Out Theatre Club will embark on the second half of its program this month as youth participants work to learn more about graphic novels, comics, working in theatre, and finally, meet the cast of Fun Home and see the show when it comes to the Auditorium Theatre November 14-19.

Week 5 of the club, meeting Wednesday, November 1 will focus on the creation of comic panels, which will give club members the chance to draw their own comics and discuss Fun Home’s graphic novel source of the same name.

Written by Alison Bechdel, the themes of the novel have woven through each week of the club and will continue as Week 6 – to meet November 8 – gives the club a chance to tour the Auditorium Theatre. There, employees of the theatre will give them a taste of what it’s like to work in theater and explore more themes.

The last week of the club will see youth attend the Wednesday, November 15 performance of Fun Home as they see the graphic novel they have studied transform into the Tony-winning musical sweeping the country.

The club will continue in cycles so if theater is your thing – keep an eye out for the next B-Out Theatre program!

The Out Alliance

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The Out Alliance was voted by the City Newspaper’s Best of Rochester as Best Activist Group and received the Best Cultural Festival for Roc Pride. Scott Fearing and Ed Popil (Mrs. Kasha Davis) are thrilled to show off the awards at the Best of Rochester Event held October 24th at Village Gate.

Out Alliance staff at the Coming Out Day party: Front, L-R: Kneeling: Jeana Bonacci-Roth, Jeannie Gainsburg; Standing: Rowan Collins, Kayden Miller, Scott Fearing, Anne Tischer. Back row: Jim Anderson, Susan Jordan, Jeff Myers, Josh Stapf.

New programming for transgender+ community begins at Out Alliance

Three new social groups for the transgender community have begun at the Alliance this fall.

Tangent, our trans and gender-expansive youth group for those between 13-20, is hosted at the LGBTQ Resource Center and run by the Alliance and Youth ROC. Tangent is a safe place to be your authentic self without fear of judgement or persecution. The group is an open and environment, where discussion and honest feedback are greatly appreciated and encouraged. Tangent meets every first Tuesday of the month. Join us Nov. 7 from 5:30-6:30 p.m.!

T-Minus 35 our support and social group, which caters to trans adults ages 21 through 35. The group’s goal is to give members of our transgender and genderexpansive community a safe space for socialization and community building, and provide resources for living as an adult in Rochester, NY. Future programs will include DIY self-care items, and informational discussions on seasonal home care and living. For more information on Tagent or T-Minus 35 please contact EriM@outalliance. org Trans35+ is for trans community members age 35 on up. The group had their first gathering Oct. 17 at the LGBTQ Resource

Center and will continue to meet the third Tuesday of every month. Come join November’s gathering! A coffee social for Trans35+ will start the first Saturday of the month at 11 a.m., Nov. 4, at Equal Grounds Coffee House. Contact ShaunaO@ outalliance.org for more info!

Don’t miss A Very Queer Thanksgiving Dinner at the LGBTQ Resource Center on Nov. 4 from 5-8 p.m., hosted

by Tangent, T-Minus 35, and Trans35+. Find our Facebook event at bit.ly/2zy1xnl

Where We’ve Been in September The LGBTQ Academy is one of the busiest programs of the Out Alliance. Our incredible team of facilitators travel the Rochester area, New York State, and the country throughout the year providing workshops, panels, and trainings around LGBTQ+ inclusion. Here’s just a taste of where the Academy presented in September: Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Workplaces at Gorbel, Inc Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Workplaces for the Rochester Integrated Health Network Creating Trans Inclusive

Schools at Bloomfield Central School SafeZone Train-TheTrainer Certification Program at The LGBTQ Academy LGBT Pioneers Tell Their Story at the Out Alliance Creating LGBTQ Inclusive Workplaces for the Workforce Diversity Network LGBTQ Healthcare Panel at Rochester Regional Health at Unity Hospital LGBTQ 101 at Newcomb Central School District (2 presentations) SafeZone Training at The LGBTQ Academy Feedback from our participants in September: “The best part was the realization that I am freed from a Powerpoint presentation. I am walking away with more resources than I could have imagined. Perfect! This experience exceeded all of my expectations.”

“The presenters seemed flawless in their deliveries of the material. It was one of the best trainings I have been to.”

“The workshop was amazing and energizing to be a part of. The stories and insight we gained are truly impactful and will help me create change and be the best ally I can be.”

Let the Alliance meet your LGBTQ+ Gift Needs Looking for that perfect, pride-ful gift for the holidays?

Look no further than the Rochester LGBTQ Resource Center.

We now sell and carry a huge stock of LGBTQ+ themed gifts, apparel, flags, buttons, jewelry, ornaments, pendants, key chains, bumper stickers, pins, and more!

Stop by the LGBTQ Resource Center to see the full array and pick up the perfect gift for friends, family, or a special someone(s).

16 Around 400 celebrate the Out Alliance at block party on Coming Out Day

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ver 400 people celebrated the Out Alliance (formerly Gay Alliance) Coming OUT Block Party on Wednesday 10/11. From 5:30-7:30pm community members and allies gathered at the LGBTQ Resource Center (100 College Avenue, Rochester NY 14607) as well as the street outside to enjoy food from The Buffalonian Food Truck, beverages from Three Heads Brewing, ButaPub, Soul Coffee and Jazz, and entertainment from local drag favorites Wednesday Westwood, Samantha Vega, and Kyla Minx. The celebration, held on National Coming Out Day, marked the official name change of the Alliance and also included the birthday of 28-year Empty Closet editor, Susan Jordan.

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1 Around 400 people attended the Out Alliance block party on Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day. Photo: Jill Frier 2 Wednesday Westwood hosted.

Photo: Jill Frier 3 Samantha Vega performs. Photo: Bess Watts 4 Kyla Minx onstage. Photo: Jill Frier 5 Samantha Vega and Kyla Minx. Photo Bess Watts 6 Susan Jordan celebrated her 70th birthday, thanked all EC volunteers and announced her retirement in December. Photo: Jill Frier 7 Harry Bronson and others view the history panels at the Center on Oct. 11. Photo: Bess Watts 8 Susan Jordan onstage with Harry Bronson, Bill Moehle, James Smith, BJ Scanlon, Ted Mack. Photo: Jill Frier 9 Out Alliance board president Colleen Raimond, Scotty Thomas, Christopher Coles and Shauna O’Toole. Photo: Bess Watts 10 Molly Wyand, Jeff Myers and Jeana Bonacci-Roth. Photo: Bess Watts 11 Beth Bloom and Pat Ulesky Posner.

Photo: Susan Jordan 12 Bess Watts gets some shots. Photo: Jill Frier 13 Genesis Nunlee. Photo: Bess Watts

The Scene ImageOut is Twenty-five

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1 Writer Marisa Calin of “Million Happy Nows” with Michael Gamilla at the screening of the film. All ImageOut photos: Garnetta Ely. 2 Closing night party at Anthology. 3 Doug Schacht received the Imageout lifetime achievement award. Michael Gamilla and Paul Allen on stage stage with Doug. 4 Abie Abrams, who has done signing for ImageOut for 25 years, was given a certificate of appreciation, as she will be moving from Rochester. L-R: Paul Allen, Abie Abrams and Michael Gamilla (Katerina). 5 Paul Allen, Larry Champoux, and Harry Bronson at closing night ceremonies. Larry was honored as ImageOut founder. 6 David Barba and James Pellerito, directors of “Anatomy of a Male Ballet Dancer”, during Q & A at the Dryden on Oct. 7, the second day of ImageOut. 7 ImageOut veterans Jon Templin and David Emert came back to Rochester for the 25th anniversary film festival. 8 Party-goers 9 Opening night Narrative feature at ImageOut was “Princess Cyd”. Stephen Cone, director, does Q & A afterwards with Michael Gamilla. 10 They did the Monster Mash… costume winners at the Halloween Dance on Oct. 21. Photo: Bess Watts 11 Happy B-Day: John White celebrates his 50th at Equal=Grounds. 12 Kasha Davis with the kids at the first Drag Story Hour at Blackfriars. 13 Ambush at Park Bench Pub, Oct. 13. 14 HRC’s Second Thursday was held at the Penthouse in October.

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Out & About

Alpacas and Nostalgia in New Jersey

BY MERLE EXIT

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his is just part of a road trip. Our first stop was Little Brushwood Alpaca Farm, 51 Parsons Rd. in Newton, NJ, where we met with owners Supanee (Sue) and Andrew (Andy) Saccoccia (973-579-0021).

Having previously spoken with them, I had decided to sponsor another alpaca (I adopted Dee Dee in Maryland). Her name is Zephyr Lily. The small farm had 16 alpacas; males and females are always separated, and I was first able to feed and pet the male alpacas as they came to the fence.

As for the females, we ventured into their “pen” after we placed “booties” on our feet. Feeding alpacas is the best way to have them approach you. Some will come right up to your face to check out that you are a human. Not all will let you pet them. Best is to pet along the neck.

Zephyr Lily did not know me as yet. At one point Andy put a leash on her. She doesn’t like being led around and that was OK since I have trouble walking. Now I was able to hug her. She is just soooo adorable, as they all are. Zephyr has gorgeous eyes and long eyelashes.

For $125 a year, you get to choose an alpaca and receive email updates and personalized photos of your alpaca. Samples of your alpaca’s fiber are sent to you. If you desire the full blanket fleece, the annual sponsorship fee is $150.

And there is more! A dozen fresh eggs. Get first invitations to farm special events such as workshops and National Alpaca Farms Days and Shearing Day. Check it all out at www.lbw-alpaca.com What perfect timing, with the cast of Happy Days having a reunion and my having experienced dining at Chatterbox Drive-In in Augusta, NJ,

Merle gets to know her adopted alpaca, Zephyr Lily.

(973) 300-2300. Old trucks and motorcyclists weren’t present during lunch nor do you have to drive either vehicle to grab some grub. We are looking at the ‘50s and ‘60s regarding the décor, with 45-inch records and posters The baby-blue Cutlass at Chatterbox Drive-In. near the ceiling and a baby blue 1968 Cutlass in the middle.

Despite the word “box”, the restaurant is round standing 6.6” and weighing 2.45 lbs. The chef places the homemade Mac and Chz atop their pulled and spacious with loads of booths, as well as havBBQ pork, fried onions and cheddar cheese on ing the old-fashioned ice cream parlor tables and grilled sourdough bread. chairs. You are also welcome to sidle up to a counter How about a deep-fried hot dog that is twice the and sit on a red covered stool. Red and yellow are the size of your average one? With choices of toppings, décor colors with huge black and white checkered one is called “All the Way”. It’s a term known in New flooring. You don’t have to put a nickel in the juke Jersey for a particular type of sauce which includes box, as this era of music plays on. onions and mustard. What can I say about the side Don Hall is the owner of this nostalgic resof fries? They are deliciously addicting and not oily. taurant, made even more famous by the Cooking My idea of a dessert was a true malted milk shake.

Channel when they challenged them to a “healthChocolate, of course. www.chatterboxdrivein.com ier” prepared sandwich known as “Big Bad John”,

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John Curtis gives a TEDTalk at the Out & Equal Workplace Summit in Philadelphia.

Superheroes and Allies Part 1

By John Curtis, board leader and past Co-President, GALAXe Pride at Work, Xerox’s independent LGBT employee resource group This article is a TEDTalk given at the Out & Equal Workplace Summit in Philadelphia, with 4,500 business people working toward LGBT equality.

PART 1: When you think of Superheroes, perhaps you think of “Wonder Woman”, Gal Gadot or Lynda Carter. For me, I think of an Ally: like my Xerox colleague, Linda Fairchild!

Superheroes are modern myths, they are diverse beings. They reflect our - aspirations. They have their arsenal of super-powers: XRay vision, super speed, super strength.

Superheroes perform, but who has the real power to rescue them out of a jam? Sidekicks! BatMan AND BatGirl had Alfred the butler. IronMan had Pepper Potts. Sidekicks, or Allies, are often the brains –or just have some really cool tools. It is often the sidekicks who are rational; who can help the heroes find their way.

Superheroes are often loners. You may at times feel all alone, like you are in “The Fortress of Solitude”.

Sometimes hidden in the shadows.

Diligent. Saving the Day. But Doubt or Loneliness, like Kryptonite, can sap our strength, can diminish us.

Heck, even in a crowded office or home, to feel all alone…. It is often

our Allies who can check in and rally us. Who can see the good, see beyond our frustration or disappointment.

But allies may not have Super-Sense!

They may need to be called upon, need you to summon them. Send out the Bat Signal – a call for help!

I had begun this TEDTalk and Superhero theme over a year ago. So I was on my feet cheering during the Emmy awards this year, when screenwriter Lena Waithe spoke to us -- her “LGBTQIA” family -- and said: “The things that make us different [ARE] our superpowers. Every day, when you walk out the door, put on your imaginary cape and go out there to conquer the world. … because the world would not be as beau- tiful as it is, if WE weren’t in it.”

Now, Superheroes may remain hidden behind an alter-ego, like Diana Prince or Clark Kent -- a false front they put out to the world. We can be like that -- cloaking ourselves in a costume. Our Allies or Sidekicks often don’t come with a cape and mask; take Lois Lane. Our Allies can look deeper. Can help to see behind our secret identity.

The power of Allies is crucial to achieving our goals: in our workplaces and communities and here -- at our Out & Equal Summit in Phila-

delphia –with LGBT and our Allies - in “The City of Brotherly Love”! We need people who have agility in helping to lead change, who value positive organizations and who seek out a wide array of diverse perspectives. So let’s move from the imaginary Wonder Woman to some real-life superheroes… Like our Mothers, who can be the best Superheroes AND Allies.

Through their care and their example: not in the Bat Cave, not in some Man Cave. A Momma Bear, there in the Mom Cave. A sign of a great Ally? They may rescue us, just in the nick of time, but sometimes exercise

ing, and I took Family Leave to stay home: to help us all acclimate, and to bond with our new child. Now, I am no Superhero, but that little 6-monthold baby was. The Force was strong with this one! He could melt your heart with a single glance, and one smile could make me a ball of mush and love, and joy and wonder.

Now, that’s all well and good, but even SuperHeroes need to have a bath! And diapered baby SuperHeroes? Well, they really need baths! But I admit, I was nervous: What if the water was too hot? What if a huge new bathtub was too scary for the baby? But my biggest fear was doubt in myself. I had to rally -- for goodness sake, we had a lot more years before this kid could learn to bathe in the tub!

So, I enlisted Shirley as my sidekick. A teacher, a Mother of five, (I know HOW to recruit top talent!). I asked her, “Would you just come up into the bathroom and just be there with me?”

Another tip? Sometimes an Ally doesn’t have to intervene. Instead, she let me build my own confidence.

BUT she stayed by my side and she would not let me fail.

Stay tuned for Part 2, to follow next month.

Doubt or Loneliness, like Kryptonite, can sap our strength, can diminish us. …. It is often our Allies who can check in and rally us. Who can see the good, see beyond our frustration or disappointment.

restraint. They help to let us flourish on our own.

I have benefited from so many allies. I want to share one astounding sidekick. It is my mother-in-law, Shirley Wikiera. When we adopted our son John David, we flew home 30 hours from Vietnam. My partner David had to return to his job teach-

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Out in Print

Book Review: “All I Love and Know”

by Judith Frank A young couple must deal with both grief and transformation when one of them becomes the guardian of an orphaned infant and a 6-year-old. The fact that the new parents of this instant family are two gay men is a secondary element of this emotional saga and that is part of the brilliance of Judith Frank’s “All I Love and Know.’’

Matt Greene, a 26-year-old graphic designer, fled New York City’s singles scene to move in with Daniel Rosen, six years older, an editor at a college alumni magazine in Northampton, Mass. They have been together four years in a supportive and loving relationship, but neither is seeking a conventional lifestyle nor the trials of raising a family.

A terrorist bomb in a Jerusalem cafe forces both crushing loss and parenthood upon them. Daniel’s identical twin brother and sister-inlaw are killed in the explosion. The novel opens with Matt shepherding a devastated Daniel through the traumatic flight from Massachusetts to Israel, where he will have to assist his parents in identifying his brother’s body.

Matt knows and mourns for Daniel’s twin and his wife, but when they land in Israel, he is instantly on the outside, doors repeatedly closed in his face. Aside from not being Jewish, he is not a family member, and his role is clearly to support Daniel’s grief, not to experience it himself.

At nearly every turn, the novel eschews the predictable conflicts.

Daniel’s mother doesn’t like Matt but only because he doesn’t measure up to Daniel’s previous partner. She considers Matt superficial “eye candy” and an intellectual lightweight. That there is a germ of truth in this adds tension to the story: How insubstantial will Matt prove to be and will he measure up to the responsibilities of parent-

hood? Neither Matt, nor Daniel, seems to be sure.

The first obstacle is getting the children out of Israel. Although the couple’s will specifically names Daniel as guardian, Israeli law doesn’t automatically accept this.

The children’s Israeli grandparents initially contest the guardianship, and Daniel expects bias. “I’m sure . . . that living with two queers is exactly what the Israeli state thinks of as for the good of the children,” he says, girding himself for the fight.

Frank again sidesteps the predictable. “I am less interested in your being homosexual than in the way you handle the conflicts that arise around it,” the Israeli caseworker tells him, nailing Daniel’s newly overdeveloped concern with what everyone is thinking of him.

In Northampton, where they ultimately raise the children, the community of artists, lesbians, and academics offers only support.

The real antagonist, and threat to the security of this fledging new family, is Daniel’s grief. His emotions at losing his twin brother are excruciatingly real, disabling, and affected by the violence of the terrorist act — something we’ll learn more about in detail.

His grief distances him from Matthew and gives him a disproportionate amount of power in the relationship. Daniel is the sufferer. Whatever trials Matt might be experiencing as a partially stay-at-

Judith Frank

home dad seem to be discounted.

His noteworthy transformation is ignored.

Frank renders this story with an intimate knowledge of her settings, Jerusalem and Northampton, with the tender and trying moments of child rearing. and often, with humor. All of the characters, down to the bit-playing caseworker, Hebrew instructor, and baby Noam, come alive on the page.

The book is not always an easy or fast read, but is a thoughtful one. Frank delves into politics, both on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and on gay rights. The first is handled with a deft hand, the second, with almost a sleight of hand, making the impact of this novel, which is ultimately about the resilience of love, more powerful.

This novel is part of the many novels in the collection of the Out Alliance Library.

Queer Verse

Closets

By Anonomous I dream of a day When “coming out of the closet” Isn’t even a thing anymore.

When “straight” is just a direction, “Gay” just mean cheery, And “bisexual” Isn’t even a word anymore.

When people look at someone And see a human, Instead of a stigmatized word Defining that person’s way Of loving other people I dream of a day When a man Can hold another man’s hand, Without the people around them Whispering “Oh my god, is he gay?”

When a girl can kiss another girl Without being called sluts Or attention whores Or “barsexuals” I dream of a day When love is simply that, LOVE Not something political, Or religious, or controversial, But just something beautiful Between two beautiful Human hearts.

Trans Action

community at large. The case, Doe v. Trump, was brought by GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders and the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

“Transgender servicemembers fight for us every single day. They deserve a government that fights for them,” said Attorney General Schneiderman.

“President Trump’s ban is yet another unconstitutional attempt to discriminate that undermines our national security and harms the transgender community in New York and across the country. Our coalition of Attorneys General will continue to fight to ensure that every New Yorker – and every American – is treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.”

The attorneys general argue in their brief that transgender individuals volunteer to serve in the armed forces at approximately twice the rate of adults in the general population, and that approximately 150,000 veterans, active-duty service members, and members of the National Guard or Reserves identify as transgender.

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In the brief, the attorney generals state that since adopting open service policies, “there is no evidence that it has disrupted military readiness, operational effectiveness, or morale.

To the contrary, anecdotal accounts indicate that the positive impacts of inclusion were beginning to manifest, as capable and well-qualified individuals who were already serving finally were able to do so authentically.”

Additionally, the attorneys general strongly support the rights of transgender people to live with dignity, to be free from discrimination, and to participate fully and equally in all aspects of civic life, and argue that these interests are all best served by allowing transgender people to serve openly in the military.

The brief was led by Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey and filed by the Attorneys General of New York, Massachusetts, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maryland, New Mexico, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington, D.C.

Building Nests: Training increases mental health and medical support for Trans and Gender-Expansive youth Mental health and medical professionals and students joined together on Oct. 21 to build capacity for the assessment, treatment, and support of trans and gender-expansive young people in the Rochester area.

The training, called Building Nests, was led by Dr. Emma ForbesJones, PhD, who works primarily with trans children, teens, and young adults and their families. She says this quickly expanding population are “increasingly coming to mental health providers looking for support and answers, and are often met with stigma, bias and incorrect information.

We need to do something about that.”

The day-long training saw professionals and students learn from Dr. Forbes-Jones and Dr. Katherine Greenberg, MD of the Adolescent Medicine program at Strong, about assessment of gender dysphoria, best practices in treatment of gender dysphoric children, youth and young adults, and engaged in conversation with a panel of Out Alliance Speakers Bureau members in the afternoon.

“No one comes out or transitions alone – it takes a huge support system,” remarked Out Alliance Education Coordinator, Rowan Collins.

“It’s fantastic to see that we have the opportunity to build a network of knowledgeable, supportive, and confi-

dent mental health and medical providers for trans and gender-expansive young people.”

Multiple participants noted that none of the information shared throughout the training was included in their social work, mental health, psychology, nursing, or medical schooling. The work to fill in the gaps in understanding, compassion, knowledge, and resources for mental health and medical professionals in the Rochester area continues.

AG Schneiderman files brief opposing Trump trans military ban New York Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman on Oct. 16 joined a coalition of 15 attorneys general in filing an amicus brief opposing the Trump Administration’s plans to ban open military service by transgender individuals.

The amicus brief, filed with the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, argues that banning transgender individuals serving in the military is unconstitutional, against the interest of national security, and harmful to the transgender

Day of Remembrance vigils take place Nov. 19, 20 The Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil and candlelight service will take place on Monday, Nov. 20 at Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. at 5:30 p.m.

Sponsors include Trillium Health, the Out Alliance, Genesee Valley Gender Variants, Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School, Third Presbyterian and many other local affirming churches.

Another observance takes place on Sunday, Nov. 19, at Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Lodge at Manhattan Square Park, 353 Court St., from 2-4 p.m.

Sponsors include Trillium Health, Genesee Valley Gender Variants and the City of Rochester.

The annual TDOR observance honors the trans and non-binary people whose lives were cut short by hate violence. This year at least 21 trans women, most African American, have been murder victims.

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Prevention – The Name of The Game!

By Evelyn Bailey The history of the HIV and AIDS epidemic began in illness, fear and death as the world faced a new and unknown virus. Scientific advances have enabled people with access to treatment to live long and healthy lives with HIV. HIV remains one of the most serious global health threats of our time. In 2015, 2.1 million people were infected with HIV, and 1.1 million died of AIDS-related causes. Effective HIV prevention programs require a combination of behavioural, biomedical and structural interventions.

As of May, 2017 an estimated 37,600 HIV infections are diagnosed each year. The Federal approach to reducing new HIV infections is based on the best available scientific evidence and modeling studies have informed decisions about the allocation of resources with regard to the strategies employed, geography, and the populations at greatest risk.

There are now more options than ever before to reduce the risk of acquiring or transmitting HIV and the newest methods are even more effective than those that were available earlier. These include personal actions that people can take to protect themselves like abstinence, having only one partner with the same HIV status, and choosing less risky behaviors, as well as risk reduction tools, services, and interventions that are delivered by health care providers, public health departments, communitybased organizations and others. Currently available tools that have been shown to significantly reduce the risk of HIV transmission or acquisition include: HIV Testing (to detect

Shoulders

undiagnosed infection) HIV Medications to Prevention Transmission Treatment as Prevention Prevention of Mother-toChild Transmission Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) Interventions to Improve Access to Prevention Tools Syringe Services Programs Laws Allowing Sterile Syringe Purchase Condom Distribution Programs Drug Treatment (including Medication Assisted Therapy) STD diagnosis and treatment Medical Male Circumcision Mass media campaigns, behavioral interventions, medication reminders, and other strategies have been shown to effectively encourage people to adopt and maintain risk reduction strategies including condom use, adherence to HIV treatment, and sterile injection practices. Education, training, and capacity building for health care providers are also important activities that can improve the ability of health care providers and systems and community-based organizations and their staff to provide high quality HIV prevention, care, and treatment services efficiency and effectively.

Shoulders To Stand On is proud that there are many options for reducing the risk of getting HIV. STSO applauds the efforts many have made to reduce the number of new AIDS cases. Focus, concentrated effort and a belief in our own value and worth create a positive environment in which prevention strategies can succeed. Be on the side of success – get tested!

THANK YOU - Rochester LGBT Pioneers Tell Their Story The five weeks of Rochester LGBT Pioneers Tell Their Story was a great success!

“I never knew that!”

“Putting the Empty Closet together was not easy!”

These were just a few of the comments attendees made.

Some of the stories told

by our pioneers were never heard before. The STSO Program thanks our pioneers: Patti Evans, Bob Crystal, Tim Judd, Bruce Woolley as Larry Fine, Joe Russo, RJ Alacala, Jeff Myers, Karen Hagberg, Tim Mains, Jeanne Gainsberg, Bruce Jewel, Whitey LeBlanc, and Scott Fearing.

The 5 week Rochester LGBT Pioneers Tell their Story was videotaped thanks to the generosity of GREAT, John Dash, Emily Jones, Ralph Carter and Van, Tom Privitera, David Merritt, Carol Ebersole-Weiss, Tim Judd, Bruce Gorman, Ron Pawelczak, Jason Barnecut, David Carpenter, John Altieri, Bill DeStevens, and Peter Mohr. As a result of this video-taping all 5 weeks will be available for you to see on U-Tube in the very near future. Watch STSO Facebook page and Out Alliance and STSO website for the date they will be accessible.

Most importantly thank you to all those who attended any of these history presentations.

This five week program will be followed in the Spring by the Rainbow Dialogues: A Bridge From the Past To the Present, a community conversation making LGBTQ archival documents from the past relevant for people today. Archives never before seen will tell amazing stories about gender identity, marriage equality, liberation movements, cinema, AIDS, and the intersection of faith and gay rights. Look for more information on Facebook, the Rainbow Dialogues website, and the OUT Alliance website.

History Corner November 1975 The Empty Closet A monthly newspaper of the Gay Brotherhood of Rochester 713 Monroe Avenue, Room 4 Rochester, New York 14607 October, 1975, Number 54 Focus: November Elections: City Council race in the East District Tom Ryan (D) as Mayor appointed Tom Hastings Rochester Police Chief.

Challenger Barbara Zartment (R) helped establish the Rape Crisis Center – who did the Rochester gay community support? Want to know who and why? Want to read more?

Go to: http://www.library. rochester.edu/rbscp/EmptyCloset Click on: Browse the Empty Closet issues. Go to: 1975 – November – Page 6 and read all about it.

Honoring Kate Millett (September 14, 1934 – September 6, 2017) Katherine Murray Millett was an American feminist writer, educator, artist, and activist.

She attended Oxford University and was the first American woman to be awarded a degree with first-class honors after studying at St Hilda’s College, Oxford. She has been described as “a seminal influence on second-wave feminism”, and is best known for her book Sexual Politics (1970),[1] which was based on her doctoral dissertation at Columbia University.

Journalist Liza Featherstone attributes previously unimaginable “legal abortion, greater professional equality between the sexes, and a sexual freedom” being made possible partially due to Millett’s efforts.

The feminist, human rights, peace, civil rights, and anti-psychiatry movements were some of Millett’s principal causes. Her books were motivated by her activism, such as woman’s rights and mental health reform, and several were autobiographical memoirs that explored her sexuality, mental health, and relationships.

On Saturday, September 23, 1978 in Rochester, speaker Kate Millet said the Rally For Rights, conceived as an answer to Anita Bryant’s visit to Rochester, marked the “beginning of a community through the enlargement of our understanding of oppression”. Kate Millet added to one of Anita Bryant’s favorite hate-phrases “Save our children” ... “for the Revolution.” At the same rally, Millet said, “We are the future and we know what we want.”

Shoulders To Stand On is proud to recognize Kate Millet as one of our early equal rights activists who is a part of our Rochester LGBTQ history.

Columnists

23

Thoughts from the Finger Lakes: The week our universe changed

What’s Bothering Brandon?

The Cold Snows of Narnia

By Brandon W. Brooks The weather is unseasonably warm for October as I write this column – maybe global warming isn’t such a bad thing, I think to myself.

Warmer, dry autumns like this make me half-believe that perhaps winter simply won’t arrive. Come the first snowfall, my hopes are smashed.

As I contemplate the cost of four new winter tires, I wonder what the cold season ahead of us shall bring. Just how rough will this coming Rochester winter be? Similarly, I wonder how rough the next three years of this presidency will be for us all.

Just hearing his name makes me wince, like a coming headache or migraine.

I’ve grown somewhat inured to the annoyance, pain, and anxiety he brings – if feeling this way makes me a snowflake, then so be it (even though I HATE the winter).

Finding his existence and reign painful, I believe, is the reaction of the rational, feeling, and morally sound.

Those who are able to ignore him and remain unaffected by him, I fear, are either somehow blissfully disconnected, or cronies. As more time goes by, it becomes clearer to me just who is paying attention, who cares, who has given up out of sheer exhaustion, and who is filled with hate and fear. Fear and hatred are strong these days – but love is stronger, I tell myself.

I try to keep faith despite how exhausting it can be. I

hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is the promise of better days to come, and not the light of an oncoming train. I try more to be vigilant against this enemy, and not grow so entirely inured that I succumb to hopelessness.

His presidency has really brought out the worst in people – fear and hatred and violence make up this cocktail of disaster. I am hoping (like what more hopeful people say), that his presidency will awake us all to what really could happen if evil prevails.

I hope his presidency will be remembered as a sort of temporary Shadow America – a time in history that encourages us to avoid hatred and fear and ignorance, rather than something from which we cannot come back. I am hoping we do not enter into another world war.

But what I fear most is the impact he may have on my family and friends. I am fearful (and maybe this is selfishness) that he will convince my loved ones that I am the enemy. That gay people are wrong, abominations, and that we are the evil ones trying to corrupt society at its most fundamental level.

I can handle an orange pig in The White House, but I don’t think I could withstand my own family and friends abandoning me, hurting me, or attempting to destroy me.

In 1957 Queen Elizabeth II made her televised Christmas speech. One line echoes in my mind – “It has always been easy to hate and destroy.

To build and to cherish is much more difficult.” Until the White Witch has fallen, let us all take care in the cold snows of Narnia.

Questions, comment, or critique? Feel free to e-mail the author at: brandonbrooks@ mail.adelphi.edu

By Shauna Marie O’Toole I was going to write about Transgender Day of Remembrance.

I was going to talk about why this day is needed -about how horrific our murders often are. Examples are death by dismemberment, dragged behind a moving vehicle, dozen or more gunshots/stab wounds, etc. Part of this column was going to talk about how the United States, to the best of our knowledge, is the third most deadly place for transpeople to live.

Please note that there is little to no data from Russia, Africa, the MidEast, and Asia. These are areas where transpeople are executed, murdered, or simply disappear.

Then, early in October 2017, our lives changed. Our universe changed.

The Attorney General of the United States ruled that the Transgender/Gender Expansive Community is NOT protected by the 1964 Civil Rights Law -- that the law only applies to cismen and ciswomen.

To quote Attorney General Jeff Sessions: “Title VII’s prohibition on sex discrimination encompasses discrimination between men and women but does not encompass discrimination based on gender identity per se, including transgender status. This is a conclusion of law, not policy.” (Source CNN.) Translation: We are no longer protected in the workplace from discrimination.

I am not an attorney, nor am I an etymologist. Still, let’s take a look at the implications of the wording to this laywoman.

The way AG Sessions worded this statement, it implies to me that he does not consider transmen and transwomen to actually be men and women. Being Transgender is our “status.”

Status.

Does this mean that the official policy of the United States Government is that those of us who are Transgender or Gender Expansive are less than Human?

Does this not open the door for those who despise us to legitimize their assaults upon

transpeople? After all, if we are not human, we must be deranged, semi-rabid animals that must be “put down” and “culled” to save Society.

In the same week, Sessions also made it easier to discriminate against the entire LGBTQ community based on an individual’s religious beliefs.

I know there are those in the Transgender and greater LGBTQ Community who voted for Donald J. Trump.

There are those who thought he was a “Democrat in sheep’s clothing.” There are those who really believed his rhetoric. Still others chose Trump as a protest vote because their candidate didn’t get the nomination.

I am not going there. No need to. The deed is done.

What I am going to say is that the actions of this Administration pose a clear and present danger to all

of us in the LGBTQ Community, every woman, and every minority in the United States.

The Transgender Community, my People, is the group presently in the crosshairs. After we are criminalized, you can guess who they are coming after next.

You might be familiar with the poem by Niemoller: “First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Socialist…”

Let me state this clearly.

First they came for the Transgender Community, and we said, “Hell no! Lock and load!”

However, we cannot do it alone.

This battle has already begun. We need everyone to join the fight. Truly, the rights and liberties you save may easily be your own.

Todd Ranos and 140 Alex sponsored the 2nd Annual Kaitlyn Emily Memorial Fundraiser on October 22 at 140 Alex Bar and Grill. Proceeds benefited the Out Alliance’s Trans Youth Services. Hosted by Poison Waters with performances by Veronica Lace, Miss Deelicios, Desitiny Spice and Vanity Fair.

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Ongoing Calendar

DAILY

WEDNESDAYS

Free confidential walk-in HIV testing M/W 9am-5pm, T/Th 9am-7pm, F 9am-12:30pm Trillium Health 259 Monroe Ave. 585-545-7200

Finger Lakes Alzheimer’s Caregiver Institute LGBTQ and Allies Care Partner Support Group A new program of the Out Alliance, 100 College Ave. Second Wednesdays, 3:30-4:30pm. No registration required but for information call Mara Kouides at 244-8400 x239 or the Alzheimer’s Association 585-760-5400.

Out Alliance Library 9am-5pm. Tues./Wed./Thurs. 6:30-8:30pm 100 College Ave. Walk-in HIV testing At all Anthony Jordan health center sites including 82 Holland St. (See Resources)

MONDAYS LORA Coffee Social Equal Grounds Coffee House 750 South Ave. Monday evenings. 6pm. Contact: Regina Altizer: reginaaltizer@gmail.com Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7pm. Empire Lanes SAGE Monday Movie Meet-up 1:30pm Dryden Theater 900 East Ave 14607.

Free to seniors. Please arrive early to sit together in right balcony. Contact Roger & Dave: rcfdjm@ gmail.com Movie Schedule: https://eastman.org/ film-series/senior-matinees Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave.

TUESDAYS SAGE Senior Chair Yoga w/ Thomas Somerville 10:30-11:30am, LGBTQ Resource Center 100 College Ave 14607. $5.

SAGE Lunch and Learn 11:30am Catered Lunch $3. donation, LGBTQ Resource Center 100 College Ave 14607 Alliance Yoga with Tom 5:30pm Multi level yoga for all ages. $15. LGBTQ Resource Center 100 College Ave 14607 COAP Open volleyball, Tuesdays 5pm-dusk, Cobbs Hill Park near Lake Riley Lodge.

Teen Clinic at Planned Parenthood 114 University Avenue Rochester. Birth control, condoms, HIV testing, counseling. Weekly, Tuesdays 3-7pm.

Adult Families of Trans Youth (AFTY) A program of the Gay Alliance. First Tuesdays, 5:30-6:30pm, Open Arms MCC Community Center, 707 E. Main St. TransParent Support group for parents of trans youth. Third Tuesdays, 6:30-8pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. LGBT Veterans Healthy Living Veterans support. 2nd, 4th Tuesdays, 10-11am Canandaigua VA, bldg. 9, room 8, Library conference room. 585 463-2731, 585 205-3360.

Testing Tuesdays at Trillium Health FREE HIV Testing for everyone, STI/STD testing FREE for women and MSM. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave, 5-8pm. 585-545-7200 Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 2344441, www.therwcc.org Tangent Trans and Gender Expansive Youth First Tuesday. 5:30-6:30pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Ages 13-20. 244-8640.

SAGE Men’s Group 50+ 7pm, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. 2nd, 4th Wednesdays. Topic discussion. rtony13@aol.com

FRIDAYS LGBT AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting. Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. ROC OUT Youth Monthly U-DJ Dance, LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave., 244-8640; Ages 13-20. youth@gayalliance.org. Check Facebook.com/ GayAllianceYouth Boyz Night Out Drag king revue. First Fridays, The Firehouse Saloon, 814 S. Clinton Ave.

Identity Group LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4pm at ARC Health Services (2060 Brighton-Henrietta Townline Rd. 14623).

The goal is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. Facilitated by Delaina Fico.

LMSW. Contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe. org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552.

SATURDAYS

Line Dancing at 140 Alex Weekly on Wednesday, 7– 9pm. 140 Alex Bar & Grill, 140 Alexander St. Line dancing lessons upstairs. All types of music, relaxed group, beginners welcome! $2 a person suggested donation.

Trans Alliance of Greater Rochester Support/educational group for gender-variant people, allies. Third Saturday, 3-5:30pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St.

COAP Come Out and Play Wednesday game nights. 7-10pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. coap.rochester@gmail.com

The Repair Shop AA meeting at the LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. 5:30-6:30pm, Saturdays. 244-8640.

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com

Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave.

Positive Warriors Wednesdays, 11:30am-12:30pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave.

Saturday Night Special Gay AA 6:30-7:30pm, AA Central Office, 1000 Elmwood Ave. Men and women. Open meeting.

Positive Divas Wednesdays, 11:30am-12:30pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave.

Sophia’s Supper Club First, third Saturdays, 25 Bernie Lane, 6:30pm.

Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Out Alliance Library 6:30-8:30pm (Also Tues. and Thurs.) 100 College Ave.

Men’s Cooking Group Third, fourth Saturdays. 585-355-7664, mcgofrochester@aol.com.

SUNDAYS

Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at various venues.

See Empire Bears Inc. on Facebook.

PFLAG (Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays) At LGBTQ Resource Center, 1pm, 100 College Ave. 585 993-3297, rochesterpflag@gmail.com.

THURSDAYS

LORA Women’s Brunch Third Sundays except holidays. 10am. Pixley’s Restaurant, 2235 Buffalo Rd., Gates. Contact Kerry at DressyFemme@aol.com

SAGE Senior Chair Yoga w/ Thomas Somerville 10:30am, LGBTQ Resource Center 100 College Ave 14607. $5.

SAGE Seniors in Service First and third Thursdays 11:30am - 1:30pm.

Call to Connect and other outreaches. Contact Anne for information annet@gayalliance.org.

(585) 244-8640 x23.

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm. First Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Pride at Work & AFL CIO Meets third Thursdays, 6pm. LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Bess Watts 426-0862.

Depression Bipolar Support Alliance Youth and young adults. LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. dbsa.monroecounty@gmail.com GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb) Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 7-9:30pm, 423-0650 NLIST Transgender Support Group 5-6:15pm, Trillium Health. Must pre-register.

HRC Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues.

Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Throw Down Euchre Thursdays 6:30-9:30pm @ LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Join Sean (Moxie) Daniels and get together and play some Euchre. $5 includes snacks and drinks.

Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper.

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main St., Services at: 10:30am. 271-8478.

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly. Closed meeting.

Resources page online at www.gayalliance.org

It’s an unbelievable feeling knowing that you’re responsible for a child, and that through unconditional love, caring, and constructive learning, you can help shape them into a sweet and kind child.

Parenthood certainly comes with its challenges, but it is completely worth it! ~ Steve & Gary Norselli (see page 5)

ROCHESTER AA/NA MEETINGS

Every week there are three regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

TUESDAYS

Narcotics Anonymous AIDS and Recovery, 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church).

6-7:30pm.

This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using.

Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

FRIDAYS

LGBT Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Avenue, 7:30pm.

This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass).

As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour. Open meeting. Handicapped accessible.

SATURDAYS

The Repair Shop AA meeting at the LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. 5:30-6:30pm.

585-244-8640.

Saturday Night Special AA Central Office, 1000 Elmwood Ave. 6:30-7:30pm.

• Open meeting; all are welcome; “straightfriendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible. Meetings begin with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

SUNDAYS

Step in the Right Direction 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) 7:30-9pm.

This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using.

Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. 8pm.

Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped-accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion. ■

November

WEDNESDAY 1

OUT in the Sticks: Batavia Meetup at Go Art! 6-8pm, Pizza & LGBTQ+ short films with discussion. $5. All are welcome. 201 E. Main St., Batavia, 14020. annet@outalliance. org

THURSDAY 2

SAGE Seniors in Service 11:30am-1:30pm volunteer activities & a light lunch. Doing “Call to Connect”, welcome mailings & sunshine cards. Contact Anne Tischer for information annet@outalliance.org (585) 244-8640 x23.

FRIDAY 3

Gallery Q First Friday opening.

Art by US Marine veteran Douglas Sergeant Jr. 6-9pm, 100 College Ave.

SATURDAY 4

A Very Queer Thanksgiving.

5pm, Out Alliance Community Dinner, 100 College Ave. Turkey & dressing supplied. Please RSVP to the Facebook event or call (585) 2448640 with number of attendees & what side dish or donation you are bringing. All welcome.

Trans 35 plus Coffee Social @ Equal Grounds. 11am-1pm. A social gathering to be with others on our journey to authenticity.

SUNDAY 5

Dignity Integrity. 1st Sunday: Episcopal Liturgy, with music and Healing Service. 5pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 7

SAGE catered lunch. Note location change to Open Arms Church, 707 East Main St. 14605, 11:30am2pm $3. “Cake Day” for November birthdays, Hidden LGBTQ History: Harry Hay.

The Community Events Calendar This calendar of community events is open to any organization or individual who has an event they’d like to make known to the entire LGBTQ and ally communities.

Use this QR code, or type: https://docs.google.com/ forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdapVq_ EtoYEDJkwsxfFopFoApoVskW8fcDoHtK-kjp3tAVsQ/viewform

TANGENT 5:30 – 6:30 pm.

Open to all transgender and gender non-conforming youth ages 13-20. Rainbows of Autumn project.

Extracting pigment from leaves to create a rainbow.

WEDNESDAY 8

U=U InQueery 6-8pm @ LGBTQ+ Resource Center. Join Dr. Bill Valenti of Trillium Health in a conversation about how undetectable equals untransmitttable For HIV+ folks.

Out in the Sticks Dansville Happy Hour & Dinner, 6pm. Jack’s Place Gaslight Grill, 110 Main St., Dansville 14437. annet@outalliance. org

THURSDAY 9

SAGE Breakfast Club 10am12pm, Den Restaurant, 911 Jefferson Road, Henrietta. All are welcome!

RSVP: Gerry by 11/7 at gkraus@ rochester.rr.com or (585) 730-8772 HRC Second Thursday. Benucci’s Restaurant, Greece Ridge Mall, 5:307:30pm. Benefitting SAGE Vets and ROC Vets. Collecting gloves, warm hats and scarves for vets. 50-50 and raffle.

FRIDAY 10

Laugh Out Loud Open Mic 7 – 8:30 pm. Featuring LGBTQ+ and Allies performing. Sign up at the door or with your host Pat Collings for a slot.

LORA meetup at Ambush Dance Party at East End Tavern, 6-9pm, 37 Charlotte St. 14607, annet@outalliance.org

SATURDAY 11

Saturday Night Bingo & Potluck at the Center, 100 College St. All are welcome. Bring a friend & a dish to pass. $3 toward token prizes.

ROC Youth Lock In 7 pm – 7am.

LGBTQ Resource Center, 100 College Ave. Registration required; go to youth page on Facebook to register.

SUNDAY 12

Dignity Integrity. 2nd Sunday: Catholic Liturgy, with music. 5pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. PFLAG 1-2 pm. Uniting people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) with families, friends, and allies, PFLAG is committed to advancing equality through its mission of support, education, and advocacy. LGBTQ+ Resource Center Health Quest Plant-based Potluck 5-7pm, $3 & a dish to pass with the recipe. Learn more about vegan/ vegetarian/whole foods cooking. annet@outalliance.org 45th Miss Gay Rochester Pageant. Harro East Ballroom, doors open 6pm, show time 7pm. $15 advance tickets, $20 at door, $10 college students with ID. Info, table reservations: call Liza, 585-285-0119.

Tickets available at Bachelor Forum, Avenue Pub, Sharp Salon (see Liza), Thomas Laurence Salon.

TUESDAY 14

SAGE Tuesday Lunch & Learn 11:30am-2pm, catered lunch. $3. All are welcome. Mr. Bing Reaves Sr. presents on Buffalo Soldier military traditions. annet@outalliance.org Employment Questions-First Conversations 5 – 6:30 pm. Free workshop on being your authentic self while going through the employment process. LGBTQ+ Resource Center.

Jewish Family Services Adoption 6 – 8 pm. LGBTQ+ Resource Center. Take the first step on your adoption journey. Learn about all aspects of adoption for the LGBTQ+ community.

WEDNESDAY 15

SAGE Happy Hour at the Bachelor Forum, 70 University Ave. 14607, 5-7pm. All are welcome. Pizza & drink specials.

Fun Home at RBTL. HRC and Out Alliance host special event, 6:30pm. Prime seating, pre-show reception, post-show talk-back with some cast members. Ticket link: HRCWesternNY@gmail.com Empty Closet deadline for Dec.Jan. issue. 244-9030; susanj@outalliance.org

THURSDAY 16

SAGE Seniors in Service 11:30pm-1:30pm. Volunteer activities & a light lunch. Doing “Call to Connect”, welcome mailings & sunshine cards. Contact Anne Tischer for information annet@outalliance. org (585) 244-8640 x23. LGBTQ+ Resource Center Medicare Benefits Reviews by Colleen O’Connor, licensed agent representing most Medicare plans available in WNY. 2-5pm.Verify you are getting all the benefits you should before enrollment closes Dec. 7. Video & presentation at 2pm with individual appointments scheduled after that. No charge & all are welcome. Schedule an appointment at annet@outalliance.org or call (585) 244-8640 x23 LORA Leadership Meeting.

6-7:30pm, Alliance Center, Contact Regina at Reginaaltizer@gmail.com

FRIDAY 17

SAGE “Pride in Aging: The Road Ahead” 2:30-4pm. Monthly professional presentation for people looking to “Age in Place” as they get older. Topic 3: Financial Helps to Live at Home: senior subsidies, discounts, grants, work & alternative income sources, reverse mortgages, debt relief, lowering drug & food costs & much more. RSVP: Anne annet@outalliance.org or (585) 2448640x23.

SMALL DOG CAMP

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SAGE Fabulous Fish Fry 5:307pm, Bay Front Restaurant 1075 Empire Blvd., 14609. All are welcome! RSVP: Audet by 11/14 at (585)287-2958 or aprice002@aol.com

SATURDAY 18

Open Arms MCC Annual Thanksgiving Potluck Community Dinner. 6-8pm. 707 E. Main St.

SUNDAY 19

Dignity Integrity. 3rd Sunday: Catholic Liturgy, with music. 5pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. LORA Women’s Brunch, 10am12pm, Pixleys Restaurant, 2235 Buffalo Road, Gates. All are welcome.

RSVP: Kerry at DressyFemme@aol. com Transgender Day of Remembrance observance. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Lodge at Manhattan Square Park, 353 Court St., from 2-4 p.m.

MONDAY 20

OUT in the Sticks: Batavia Happy Hour, 5-7pm, Bourbon & Burger, 9 Jackson St, Batavia 14020 annet@gayalliance.org Transgender Day of Remembrance. 5:30 pm, Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave.

TUESDAY 21

SAGE Tuesday Lunch & Learn 11:30am-2pm, catered lunch. $3.

Linda Isaacson-Fedele of Rochester People’s Climate Coalition presents on “Climate Change & You”.

SAGE Social Worker Support 11am-3pm, Kat Carr LCSW of Lifespan is available on-site to consult on issues around dementia, Alzheimer’s & care-giving. Free. Information: kcarr@lifespan-roch.org

WEDNESDAY 22

SAGE Happy Hour at the Bachelor Forum, 70 University Ave, Rochester, NY 14607, 5-7pm. All are welcome...yes the women come too!

Pizza & drink specials.

SUNDAY 26

Dignity Integrity. 4th Sunday: Prayers to start the Week followed by potluck. 5pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

TUESDAY 28

SAGE Tuesday Lunch 11:30am2pm, catered lunch. $3. Karen Jones of Downsizing for Seniors shares tricks to make life easier and your house safer.

585-530-3371 First Half-Day Free

766 Clinton Avenue S. -Within Natural Pet Food Store-

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Health

The U=U Consensus states that a person living with HIV who has an undetectable viral load through treatment cannot transmit the virus to a sexual partner.

Over the past year, hundreds have joined the growing list of health experts and organizations around the world to endorse the Undetectable Equals Untransmittable Consensus Statement. The U=U Consensus states that a person living with HIV who has an undetectable viral load through treatment cannot transmit the virus to a sexual partner.

-Read the full article on The Advocate

Leslie Alvarado and Dr. Dan Lewis play Health Jeopardy at SAGE. Photo: Anne Tischer

The Importance of Sleep

By Dr. Daniel Lewis, P.T., D.P.T, HCR Home Care, Doctor of Physical Therapy Sleep and how much rest we get is a popular and important topic of conversation. How many times have you said or heard someone mention how they didn’t get enough sleep last night for one reason or another? While sleep is something that is on people’s minds, the importance of proper sleep and the effects it has on our health are often underestimated.

There two types of sleep. The sleep during which you experience dreaming is known as rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Deep sleep is the other type, in which your mind rests and brain activity slows. Both types cycle during sleep and contribute to your overall health and well-being.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than a third of US adults, ages 18-60 years old, report getting less than the recommended 7 or more hours of sleep each day. This can lead to sleep deprivation or deficiency and can affect alertness, energy levels, mood, and coordination. Sleep deprivation has contributed to motor vehicle and mass transit accidents, such as the Metro North derailment of a commuter train in December of 2013. In older adults, inadequate sleep can also lead to an increased risk of falling and mortality. Furthermore, there is increased risk of mental, emotional, and physical health problems, including obesity, depression, diabetes, stroke, and other chronic conditions,

associated with lack of proper sleep.

Improving the quantity and quality of sleep is key to reducing health risks and improving your overall wellbeing. Some simple ways to improve sleep include: Try going to bed and waking up around the same time every day.

Increase your level of physical activity, at least 20 minutes daily, according to the CDC. Relax about an hour before bed time.

Avoid stimulants, such as caffeine, in the afternoon and evening and avoid eating a couple of hours before bed.

Keep your sleeping area as a quiet and dark zone.

If you are experiencing difficulty with sleeping and feel that these strategies aren’t helping, see your physician to discuss what can be done.

They may be able to offer suggestions ranging from changing a medication which is affecting your sleep, prescribing something to help improve your quality of sleep, or referring you for a sleep study, among other alternatives.

For more information, please visit www.cdc.gov/sleep. Sweet Dreams!

When is there zero risk of transmitting HIV? According to Desiree Guerrero on The Advocate: Over the past year, hundreds have joined the growing list of health experts and organizations around the world to endorse the Undetectable Equals Untransmittable Consensus Statement.

Ga. GOP lawmaker wants HIV quarantine; PWAs once “died more readily” The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports: Georgia Rep. Betty Price said her comments on people with HIV that ignited a national firestorm this week were “taken completely out of context.” Price, the wife of former U.S. health secretary Tom Price, was in a study committee Oct. 17 when she

asked a state health official whether people with HIV could legally be quarantined.

Price said she was just being “provocative.” She said she is not in favor of a quarantine but made the “rhetorical” statement because she was sad and troubled that “too many of our fellow citizens who have HIV are not compliant.”

Here’s that “out of context” quote: “I don’t want to say the quarantine word, but I guess I just said it. Is there an ability, since I would guess that public dollars are expended heavily in prophylaxis and treatment of this condition? So we have a public interest in curtailing the spread.

What would you advise or are there any methods legally that we could do that would curtail the spread?

“It seems to me it’s almost frightening, the number of people who are living that are potentially carriers.

Well they are carriers, with the potential to spread, whereas in the past they died more readily and then at that point they are not posing a risk.

So we’ve got a huge population posing a risk if they are not in treatment.”

Price is a medical doctor and is married to former HHS Secretary Tom Price, who resigned last month after a private jet scandal.

-JoeMyGod.com

Culture

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45th Miss Gay Rochester pageant happens Nov. 12 at Harro East Legends will be made on Nov. 12 at Harro East as the 45th Miss Gay Rochester pageant gets underway.

The fabulous Aggy Dune will host, and Miss Gay Rochester 2017, Veronica Lace (above), will be honored.

Mrs. Kasha Davis celebrates her 10th anniversary, and Michelle Paris marks her 40th. Some former Miss Gay Rochesters will perform, including Maya Douglas, Keke Velasquez-Lorde, Tiffany Love, Samantha Vega, V’ta St. James and Tasha Brooks.

Tickets are $15 in advance, available at The Bachelor Forum, the Avenue Pub, Sharp Salon (see Liza) and Thomas Laurence Salon. Admission at the door will be $20; $10 for college students with ID. For general information and table reservations, call Liza at 585-285-0119.

Nic Casaula, a.k.a Santa Claus. (Insert: Ralphie’s dad’s lamp).

Santa tells all: A Christmas Story is coming to RBTL

By Susan Jordan The musical A Christmas Story is coming to RBTL’s Auditorium Theatre just in time for the holidays.

Nic Casaula (Santa) says he is filled with holiday spirit to be joining A Christmas Story. Favorite credits include Julius Caesar (The PublicShakespeare in the Park), Flashdance (Jimmy- USA/International tours), White Christmas (Phil- Prather).

Thanks to ATB, Alison, Mom and Big League for this adventure! IG @ NicCoolKidCasaula Nic responded to some questions from The Empty Closet: What do you enjoy most about playing Santa in A Christmas Story? What is most challenging?

What I enjoy most about playing Santa in ‘A Christmas Story’ is getting to inhabit this larger than life character...with a little twist! Growing up, my favorite scene from the movie was following Ralphie as he nervously shuffles up to Santa, his inner monologue working overtime, psyching himself up to ask Saint Nick for that one item he really, truly wants: an official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200 Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

Suffice to say, to get to play the big man himself is an honor!

The most challenging aspect of the role is how big the shoes are to fill - literally and figuratively! If you remember one thing from that movie, it’s Santa’s iconic line: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”

What can audiences expect? Is it

a play for children or for all ages?

Audiences can expect the story they know and love from the film paired with a full scale Broadway production! The show takes classic scenes from the film and enriches them, bringing them to life with a wonderful score.

The play is perfect for the whole family, and you will find all your favorite moments. And I mean everything: the tongue stuck to the flagpole, Ralphie’s pink bunny pajamas, the Bumpus hounds wreaking havoc… plus all the incredible musical numbers!

Where is your hometown and how did you get started in theatre?

I’m from Eastport Long Island in Suffolk county, which is on the South shore of the island. I first started in theatre by re-enacting movies with my cousin Bea: she would be the director and boss me around and I would play all of the parts. We would go into my playroom, create a set and rehearse then, invite my mom and aunt to watch our show! Our favorite to do was Batman...and thanks to a repurposed Halloween costume I even had his cape.

When I was 13 I was able to take my first acting class at the Gateway Playhouse, and I’ve been hooked ever since!

How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?

Stop? I still do!

Anything you’d like to add?

I am so excited to be sharing one of my favorite Christmas movies with audiences across the country this year, and I hope we add some extra Holiday cheer to all those who come and see our show!

Introducing a new restaurant review column: Gnaw Rocs

Gnaw Rocs with Reilly: Bitter Honey

By Reilly Hirst The last year and a half has been a real upswing in the Rochester food scene. The last two months, particularly, have seen three new spaces open in the central city that “up” the game considerably. This piece is dedicated to the first to open: Bitter Honey, located on Railroad Street in the heart of the Public Market district.

With considerable backing and care to the physical surroundings, this spot is named for what makes mezcal great: agave, also known as “bitter honey”.

The decor is an ode to the theme - the tile on the floor is designed like a large honeycomb in the bar area with drawings woven into the pattern. Veladoras – Mexican prayer candles – dot the landscape.

There are literally no cocktails that I would eliminate from Bitter Honey’s cocktail menu. I know of no other cocktail menu where I have ever said that. This minor miracle is thanks to three gifted bartenders who helped found the effort: Zac, Nate, and Abby.

Favorites for me include the Holy Mole and the Cafe de Chiapas. The variety, quality, and the originality of the mez-

cal are outstanding.

When it comes to the dinner menu, my review is more mixed. With an important disclaimer here as well: I am west coast spoiled. There are three guacamoles on the menu. The pea puree version did not leave me with excitement: fat rarely needs sweetness and it changes the consistency. But at least it’s bold- and I will take bold over safe. The ceviche with scallop is the right fish for ROC. It uses the pea puree as the base but is nicely served on large chips. It has spicy peppers, so the puree is placed to compensate with sweetness. In a perfect world, I would use red papaya to create that balance.

This is still a step up for Rochester. The street corn (elotes) are decent.

Their chips are good. Bitter Honey also makes their tortillas in-house, which matters. I love authentic tacos and am most interested in their family style tacos, particularly the lamb barbacoa and the carne asada. Carne asada tacos are a staple I am very pleased to see. I would also recommend the brunch menu for exploration as a good place to start.

Bitter Honey isn’t bitter at all. It’s the beginning of the tidal wave Rochester can ride all the way to its new glory days. Come taste the sweetness.

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G A L L ERY Q Douglas Sergeant Jr. and “the ‘stuff’ we don’t talk about” Gallery Q will showcase the work of local artist and veteran Douglas Sergeant Jr. during the month of November. The First Friday opening reception is Nov. 3 from 6-9 p.m.

Describing his work as sometimes controversial, Sergeant says he does not work in any one specific style and loves all schools of art. Most often his work starts with a creative “itch” and once color is applied to paper or canvas the work creates itself. He says he likes to put in his art “the ‘stuff’ we don’t talk about.”

When pressed, he describes his work as “surreal realism”.

Sergeant says his work deals with emotions and past experiences. He works in no specific color pallet and uses the colors that “feel right”. Most of his work is acrylic on canvas. Much of his work does have the feel of the surrealist artist Salvador Dali.

During a challenging childhood Sergeant escaped as often and for a long as he could to his school art room. There he was encouraged by his mother, Debbie Sergeant and his art teacher, Debbie Schmidt, who remains a great influence in his life. As a student he won his first prize as an artist with a collage showing the moon observing what humans are doing to the earth.

To escape what seemed an untenable situation he joined the U.S. Marine Corps to “see the world” and “become a man”. He was encouraged to do so by his mother Debbie Sergeant, who is also a veteran, as is his father. Sergeant was deployed to Afghanistan. It was in the Marines in Afghanistan that instances of a traumatic nature occurred that have caused Sargent’s PTSD. Recently his work was shown at Kashong Creek in Geneva, NY. He is currently working on a piece entitled “Orphan of War”.

Gallery Q is part of the Alliance Resource Center, located at 100 College Ave. The gallery is open Monday and Friday, 9 a.m.

– 5 p.m., as well as Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 9 a.m. – 8: p.m. The exhibition closes Nov. 23.

Blackfriars and PUSH Physical Theater join forces to present Dracula; creating new myths Blackfriars Theatre and PUSH Physical Theatre join forces every two years to produce a mind-bending, gravity defying original production as part of Blackfriars’ season. This year the two Rochester powerhouses revisit another gothic classic with their take on Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

The show originally premiered in workshop form in 2009 at Geva Theatre Center’s Fielding Stage and was conceived and created by PUSH’s Artistic Directors, Darren and Heather Stevenson and written by Blackfriars Artistic & Managing Director, Danny Hoskins.

The artistic team has reunited and the current production has been expanded, adding an additional 60 minutes of heart-pounding story and jawdropping acrobatics.

“The stories I’m attracted to as an artist, and as a person, are stories that challenge human nature. Many of them have recurring themes and we revisit these stories that we know and love, again and again, to uncover new experiences and new ideas,” says Hoskins.

“Part of the reason to unearth Dracula again is to expand the universe these characters live in, to toy with ‘what-ifs’ and create new myths within a classic landscape. We’re also living in a poignant moment where classic and contemporary themes collide - questioning the responsibility of power, exploring love PUSH brings a new dimension to the Dracula story. vs lust vs greed, and delving into that elusive quest for immortality that all of us secretly yearn for – it’s all around us right now and Dracula is the perfect, luscious story to sink our teeth into.”

Expanding the original production also gives Blackfriars and PUSH an opportunity to assemble a larger and more prolific artistic team. With the new incarnation comes more theatrical magic: the implementation of a richer and more integrated sound and projection design, multiple costume changes, new actors and PUSHers and a complete reimagining of Dracula himself.

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We appreciate the continuing partnership of our community – whose support of our mission and vision is so important.

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We are a no kill, cage-free shelter providing adoption and other pet services for cats, dogs and small animals.

Call to schedule a tour of our beautiful state-of-the-art facility in Irondequoit.

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