Empty Closet, February 2014

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number 475

a publication of the gay alliance FEBRUARY 2014

On Jan. 13 the Empire State Pride Agenda launched a campaign to pass a bill aimed at protecting LGBT youth from psychological abuse. Bills were jointly introduced in both houses of the NYS legislature by State Assemblymember Deborah Glick (Assembly bill: A06983A) as well as State Senator Brad Hoylman and State Senator Michael Gianaris (Senate bill: S04917A).

This legislation would protect LGBT youth from so-called therapists who use dangerous and discredited practices aimed at changing their sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.

“Trying to change someone’s true identity through so-called therapy is a dangerous practice that can seriously harm our LGBT youth,” said Pride Agenda Executive Director Nathan M. Schaefer. “Anyone who says they can change an LGBT person from being who they are is preying off of fear and confusion to sell a practice that doesn’t work and causes lasting harm.”

“We are happy that Empire State Pride Agenda is advocating for this important legislation,” said Assemblymember Deborah Glick (D – Manhattan). “Stronger laws to protect LGBT youth from being subjected to these unsafe and disproven practices

THANK YOU The Gay Alliance appreciates the continuing partnership of businesses within our community who support our mission and vision.

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are long overdue.”

“Banning this so-called ‘therapy’ is a bipartisan issue. Since last spring, legislation prohibiting it has passed with bipartisan support in New Jersey and was upheld by a federal court in California,” said Senator Brad Hoylman (D,WFP – Manhattan). “It’s time for New York to protect our kids from this insidious practice, which has been thoroughly discredited by experts and poses a serious threat to the health and well-being of LGBT youth.”

“We cannot wait any longer to protect our LGBT youth from ignorant attempts to change their sexual orientation,” said Senator Michael Gianaris (D – Queens). “New York has a long history of leadership on LGBT issues and it is time to send a message that we will not stand for gay conversion therapy, a practice not based on science but on intolerance.”

The vast majority of associations of mental health practitioners and researchers all acknowledge the detrimental effects that this damaging practice has on minors. The American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association oppose this practice and are joined by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Counseling Association Governing Council, the American Psychoanalytic Organization, the American School Counselor Association, the National Association of Social Workers and the Pan American Health Organization.

California passed a similar comprehensive legal ban against this process in fall of 2012 and New Jersey passed its own in the summer of 2013. Several other states and Washington DC are currently considering such bans.

In June 2013, after 36 years of leading the “ex-gay” move(Bill continues page 3)

Photos: Lorraine Woerner-MacGowan

Bill would protect NYS youth from abusive “therapy”

Lovely Warren was sworn in as Rochester mayor on Jan. 4 at the Auditorium Center.

Gay Alliance leader participates in Mayor Warren’s swearing-in ceremony

By Susan Jordan Scott Fearing, Executive Director of the Gay Alliance, was invited to speak briefly at Mayor Lovely Warren’s public swearing-in ceremony on Jan. 4 at the Auditorium Center.

During the election campaign, Warren was criticized by many members of the LGBTQ communities, for her opposition to marriage equality and to gay rights in general.

In an interview with the November Empty Closet, and at the Pride Rainbow Flag-raising last July, Warren said she has overcome her previous feelings of prejudice against LGBTQ people. Following the ceremony, Fearing said, “Her inclusion of the LGBTQ communities in a public event sends a strong message.”

Fearing told The Empty Closet, “To have a woman of color as Rochester’s 67th Mayor made this inauguration a momentous occasion. Because so much of our work revolves around equal gender access, and full human and civil rights for all people, the Gay Alliance was honored to have been invited to participate.

New Feature: LGBTQ Living Page 17

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Lovely Warren and Scott Fearing.

“The Gay Alliance knows the important role that the LGBTQ communities play in Rochester, so we are pleased to continue our strong relationship with the City leadership.”

Scott Fearing’s remarks at the inauguration follow: “Mayor Warren, gathered dignitaries, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for this opportunity to say a few words.

“Since 1973 the Gay Alliance has been a part of Rochester’s long history as a national leader in honoring and emphasizing social justice for all people.

“In our 40 years we can point to many local efforts that have had statewide and national impact, but, going back even further, well before the Gay Alliance came into existence and before the beginnings of the ‘gay liberation’ movement of the 1960s, members of our communities played pivotal roles in creating this amazing town.

“In the future our role to make Rochester great will not change. The LGBTQ communities see a very bright future for Rochester and we look forward to working with Mayor Warren to create a Rochester that focuses on livability with thoughtful urban planning that increases

the quality of life for all citizens.

“For lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are part of all identities. You will find us at all economic points, from rich to poor, a part of all racial and ethnic identities; we are of all religions, ages, abilities and disabilities, we work in every profession and live in every neighborhood.

“In short we are Rochester — and today we proudly join with all of our neighbors to congratulate Mayor Warren on her inauguration.” ■

Inside

Editorials....................................... 2 Local/State News........................ 3 National/International News..... 4 Interview: Rev. Tom Decker............. 7 Health: Flu vaccine.......................14 Opinion: Fla. marriage .................15 LGBTQ Living ............................17 Shoulders To Stand On ...........21 Columnists ................................22 Community ................................25 Entertainment: Normal Heart....27 Gay Alliance: Youth Update.......30 Calendar.....................................34 Classifieds..................................34 Comics................................ 34, 35 The Gay Alliance is publisher of the Empty Closet, New York State’s oldest LgbtQ newspaper.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Gay Alliance Board of Trustees

Perspectives The Empty Closet Editor Susan Jordan

A new look for the new year The EC has a new look for 2014 – we hope you like it. We have upgraded the quality of the paper The Empty Closet is printed on.

We are also introducing a new feature series: “LGBTQ Living”. Each installment will deal with a different kind of LGBTQ family, home, etc. This month we are starting out with a feature on safe, affordable housing options for our growing population of seniors.

In future months, we hope to cover different kinds of gay families, from now-legally-married couples raising kids, to youth, to people who prefer to remain single, but rely on extended families of friends (a time-honored tradition). Some articles may deal with the latest trends in interior design, the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city or the suburbs, etc. And how about a story on “Pets and Their Gays”?

If you have ideas for the series, or would like to be interviewed, please let me know.

Several new photographers and reporters have come on board and you should be seeing their work over the next few months. And we have a new ad salesperson – columnist Brandon W. Brooks. Welcome to the gang, everyone.

Please visit the EC Facebook page and follow us on Twitter, as well as checking out our page

at www.gayalliance.org. You can find us on Facebook at Empty Closet News – now breaking news can come your way without delay!

So what are we in the Rochester community looking forward to this month and in the near future? The Red Ball on Feb. 8 at the Diplomat Banquet Center is coming up, with a Steampunk theme, which should be a lot of fun.

March is LGBTQ Health Month, and we hope to encourage healthy living. One treat during Health Month will be the JCC production of Larry Kramer’s classic play about the early years of AIDS, “The Normal Heart” – see page 27 for an interview with director Brian Coughlin.

We also look forward to cooperating with the new city administration, and are pleased that Gay Alliance Executive Director Scott Fearing was invited to speak at Mayor Lovely Warren’s public swearing-in ceremony last month.

As we embark on 2014, let’s not forget that, although we can now marry legally in New York, and more and more states are legalizing and/or recognizing our marriages and families, there is still work to be done.

Rights we’ve fought for could be taken away; LGBTQ youth are still harassed; all of us (especially trans people of color) are still in danger from hate violence, and the Albany legislature has yet to pass GENDA, giving transgender New Yorkers basic civil rights. That has to change -- and soon!

Finally, please remember that when you are seeking the EC at non-gay-owned businesses and don’t see it, you’ll need to try excavating under piles of “Golf Weekly” or whatever, which are still being used to conceal our publication. Malice and bigotry can’t stop gay Americans’ progress to full human and civil rights! ■

David Zona, President, Jessica Muratore, Vice-President, W. Bruce Gorman, Secretary, Peter Mohr, Treasurer, Jason Barnecut, Chris Hilderbrant, Emily Jones, Jeff Lambert, Jeff Markarian, Steve Santacroce, William Schaefer, Chris Woodworth

Gay Alliance Executive Director Scott Fearing

Be Out, Reach Out, Roc Out Recently the staff and board of the Gay Alliance have been focused on budgeting and planning. These can be tough and challenging tasks for small nonprofits such as the Gay Alliance.

No matter how challenging, these tasks also offer a wonderful opportunity to reflect upon our work and the communities we serve.

For 20 years I have been deeply enmeshed in LGBTQ community leadership and activism. The changes I have seen are remarkable, but pale when one considers the changes that the Gay Alliance has seen in its 40 years.

However, current headlines about new anti-LGBTQ laws in India, Nigeria, Uganda and Russia should cause all of us to pause and reflect on the changes we have seen have come about, and what our successes means for our communities futures.

Positive changes have become the norm of for LGBTQ people living in the US, and many other countries. These changes have come about through strategic hard work, thoughtful conversations and, often, personal acts of bravery and conscience.

While one must give credit to governments and societies that value individual liberties over dogmatic adherence to arcane rules, history shows that when it comes to respecting and honoring individuals no society has

Name

been golden. Here in the “home of the brave, and land of the free” we have been shamefully slow to find ways to fully welcome the humanity of all our citizens.

Laws in the US have changed, but, we all know that individual feelings and actions cannot be legislated. It may be illegal for me to act like a bigot, but it is not illegal for me to be a bigot. While it took many people, many years of work to make positive changes to laws and policies, it is the broader societal change that requires the ongoing attention of individuals who care about full LGBTQ equality.

As we plan the Gay Alliance of the future we reflect on our past and take stock of today’s realities. How can we best serve our LGBTQ community members, as well as our friends, families and allies? One thing for certain, we know that we must continue our advocacy work, just as we must continue our educational efforts.

But equally important, and often over looked, is the need to celebrate our identities and communities. We must celebrate being out as an LGBTQ person -- proud of our own LGBTQ identity. Likewise others need to celebrate their love and acceptance of their LGBTQ children or to be proud to have LGBTQ friends, roommates, cousins and neighbors.

The Gay Alliance will continue to work for the full inclusion and safety of all LGBTQ people in the greater Rochester area, we will accomplish this through our advocacy and education and by taking the time to celebrate who we are and all that we can offer.

No matter who you are, we encourage you to Be OUT, ReachOUT and RocOUT; help to make Rochester a better place for everyone. ■

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Benefits: Subscription to The Empty Closet mailed to home or work, plus privileges at each level. Phone: 585 244-8640 or mail to: Gay Alliance, 875 E. Main St., Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605. Home delivery of the Empty Closet is free with your annual membership.

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february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

page one (Bill from page 1) ment, Exodus International disbanded amid growing skepticism of its top officials and board members that sexual attractions can be changed.

More information about this issue can be found at prideagenda.org/protectingyouth.

Truth Wins Out Truth Wins Out on Jan. 14 praised New York State Assemblymember Deborah Glick and State Senators Brad Hoylman and Michael Gianaris.

“The science is in on socalled reparative therapy. It doesn’t work, and it hurts people,” said Truth Wins Out Executive Director Wayne Besen. “We applaud these New York lawmakers for standing up for science and quality mental health care by working to eliminate these harmful practices for the good of the citizens they were elected to represent, and especially for the kids of New York.”

Truth Wins Out recently launched a comprehensive website, LGBTScience.org, where all the foremost scientists studying sexual orientation speak plainly about the current scientific consensus on sexuality. It is an unbiased resource for all interested in studying the scientific truth about sexual orientation. All major medical and mental health associations, including the American Medical Association, American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association, have stated that reparative therapy is ineffective at best, and can be extremely harmful to clients.

Proponents of “reparative” or “ex-gay” therapy frequently couch the issue as a matter of religious freedom, but as the NALT Christians Project shows, one need not renounce religious faith in order to embrace science and best therapeutic practices for LGBT clients in crisis. Truth Wins Out encourages New York

legislators not to be swayed by those who will falsely claim that their religious freedom is somehow threatened by passing a bill that ensures quality mental health care for New Yorkers.

As bills like this have worked through state legislatures, purveyors of “ex-gay” quackery have shown up to defend their right to hurt kids with their false teachings and beliefs, and New York will be no different. During New Jersey’s debate, Christopher Doyle of the International Healing Foundation appeared as an advocate for allegedly former homosexuals, waving around a picture of his family has proof that reparative therapy works. Doyle has admitted that he tried to molest little girls in his mother’s daycare when he was ten, a disturbing fact considering IHF’s focus on youth and Doyle’s status as an ill-credentialed counselor.

In the same hearing, “ex-gay” activist Greg Quinlan attempted to paint those working to protect LGBT kids as abusers, dubbing it the “Jerry Sandusky Victimization Act.” However, when Quinlan is around like-minded people, he is more inclined to practice verbal gay-bashing of his own, telling an anti-gay conference in 2010 that he was never a “limp-wristed, flaming faggot,” a statement revelatory of his true feelings about LGBT people. New Jersey legislators saw the testimonies of these men as the nonsense they were, and passed the bill. “’Ex-gay’ charlatans will come to the New York legislature with junk science and promises of love and healing for LGBT kids, but their records show that their motivations are beyond insincere,” said Truth Wins Out Associate Director Evan Hurst. “Please, lawmakers, hear us: there’s no scientific debate, this isn’t about religious freedom, and these men are the exact sort of people that New York lawmakers should be working day and night to protect children from.” ■

You are invited… to a Steampunk Affaire Do you love the look of Steam Age tech – Sherlock Holmes plus “Tipping Velvet” meets H.G. Wells’ “Time Machine”? The Gay Alliance presents the Red Ball 2014, “A Steampunk Affaire,” on Feb. 8 at the Diplomat Banquet House, 1956 Lyell Ave. The winter fundraiser, which was once known as the Sweetheart Ball, will include music by DJ Chuck Argento, appetizers, a cash bar, a huge raffle and a “Best Dressed” prize. You can have your photo taken with Victorian props if you don’t come in costume.

The Red Ball is open to everyone and is an opportunity to enjoy a Valentine’s night out with your partner, friends or a date, or to connect with the LGBTQ community and meet new friends.

The ball runs from 7-11 p.m. Tickets are $20 in advance or $30 at the door. They can be purchased online at www.gayalliance.org, or at Equal=Grounds, OUTlandish (cash only), Parkleigh and Hedonist Artisan Chocolates.

If you are coming from out of town, or want to treat your sweetie to a night at the La Quinta Inn, next door to the Banquet House, there is a room special of $69 – call 585-254-1000.

More information is available at redball@gayalliance.org.

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NewsFronts Local and State

Daniel McClung and Michael Todd Cohen.

NYC Councilman pushes for legislation after gay man dies in high-rise fire

By Greg Hernandez on gaystarnews.com, Photo courtesy of Jenni Powell Daniel McClung lost his life in a smoke-filled emergency stairwell during a fire in his apartment building on 5 January.

His husband of less than a year, Michael Todd Cohen, was hospitalized in critical condition from smoke inhalation and is still recovering. He was found in the same stairwell as were the couples’ two dogs, who also died.

New York City Councilman Corey Johnson introduced legislation on 13 January aimed at making sure nothing like this ever happens again.

The three-alarm fire caused panic among resident of The Strand high-rise apartment building on West 43rd Street when flames shot out of a 20th floor apartment and smoke filled an emergency stairwell.

Johnson said McClung’s death would not have happened had there been a system in place for first-responders or building management to immediately communicate with building residents in emergency stairwells.

Residents would have been instructed to use different stairwells or go back into their homes – to “stay or go.”

Cohen’s mother, Randi Cohen, is speaking out in favor of the proposed law which would apply to all buildings six stories or higher.

“My boys are the injured and deceased men. We need better safety rules so this will never happen again,’ she said in a statement released by Johnson’s office.

McClung, a playwright, married TV producer Cohen in

Massachusetts last July and the couple had only recently moved into a unit on the 38th floor of the building.

Cohen’s brother agrees that a communication system could have saved the life of his brotherin-law.

“I know the facts of this case and a communication breakdown was a major part of the problem,” Greg Cohen said in a statement. “The details continue to come in. But they got caught in the ‘attack’ stairwell.”

Johnson called the communication system proposal a “simple common sense solution.”

“The tragic death at The Strand was entirely preventable,” he stated. The councilman points out that such emergency communications systems already exist in commercial buildings and hotels.

“The groundswell of local support around this issue was stunning,” Johnson added. “It sheds light on the need for legislation addressing this issue, as it could protect so many lives in New York City.”

Support for Cohen has continued to pour in. In less than two weeks, more than $70,000 has been raised to aid in his recovery at fundanything.com.

- See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/nyccouncilman-pushing-bill-prevent-fire-related-deaths-gayplaywright130114#sthash.

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Attorney General Eric Holder to speak at HRC dinner Feb. 8 in New York City The Human Rights Campaign and the HRC Greater New York Steering Committee on Jan. 17 announced that United States Attorney General Eric Holder will headline the annual Greater New York Gala on Feb. 8, at the Waldorf Astoria in New

York City.

“The LGBT community could not ask for a more courageous Attorney General than Eric Holder. He has seized every opportunity to broaden the circle of freedom to include LGBT people and their families, and he continues to act with unprecedented speed to bring federal recognition to married gay and lesbian couples across the country. At every opportunity throughout his career, the Attorney General has shown unparalleled leadership worthy of the history books,” said HRC President Chad Griffin.

Following last year’s ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Windsor v. United States, Attorney General Holder declared that the ruling meant that, “Americans in same-sex marriages are entitled to equal protection and equal treatment under the law.” From this historic statement, a record number of federal rights and benefits of marriages have begun to flow to gay and lesbian couples across the country.

Attorney General Holder has been a leader for civil rights for LGBT Americans throughout his career in public life. As U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia he formed the first hate crimes task force, which has become a model for U.S. Attorneys throughout the country.

From reaching the conclusion that the Defense of Marriage Act was indefensible in court to the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, Attorney General Holder’s leadership on LGBT issues is without comparison.

For more information or to purchase tickets to HRC’s Greater New York Gala, please visit www.hrcgreaterny.org ■

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

NewsFronts national and international

brought New Jersey in line with federal regulations. Now you will have birth certificates that don’t match driver’s licenses and passports. In many cases people are being called out on fraud because their documents don’t match.’”

The Reverend Darlene Nipper, Deputy Executive Director, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund, stated, “Gov. Chris Christie’s veto of a bill that makes it easier for transgender people to amend their birth certificates shows how out of touch he is with the lives of LGBT people and our allies. This was an opportunity to separate himself from the extreme right. Instead he seems to want to be the politician who erects obstacles rather than someone who tears them down.

We applaud our partners at Garden State Equality for their hard work to get this vital legislation passed.”

RELATED: JoeMyGod.com notes that Christie is not only being investigated for the September George Washington Bridge lane closings, which blocked emergency response vehicles and buses full of children going to the first day of school: “The feds are now investigating Chris Christie for the spending on those incessant ‘Stronger Than The Storm’ commercials which promoted New Jersey’s Hurricane Sandy recovery and heavily featured Christie and his family at the same time he was campaigning for reelection.”

Federal authorities are also investigating the mayor of Hoboken’s charges that her city was denied Hurricane Sandy funding when she refused to endorse a private development project.

GLSEN outraged by charges against bullied California student Gabriel Landeskog

All U.S. pro ice hockey teams have at least one pro-gay player

Christie vetoes N.J. transgender birth certificate bill

By Jonathan Waldheim on gaystarnews.com Every Northern American professional ice hockey league team has at least one pro-gay player.

The National Hockey League (NHL), the world’s most popular league of its kind, has secured pro-LGBT representation from every single team.

It comes as Colorado Avalanches player Gabriel Landeskog announced his support of the campaign in an advertisement launched on 7 January.

A You Can Play spokesperson said, “Today’s NHL milestone is a step.

It’s a worthy accomplishment, and an acknowledgment that some of the toughest players in the world will face a camera and say maybe they’re not who we thought they were.

“They’re actually sportsmen who care about their teammates and fans, gay and straight alike.”

You Can Play, founded in March 2012, supports equality in ice hockey and was formed after the death of gay player Brendan Burke in a car crash.

The campaign, founded by Burke’s father and brother, has slowly garnered support over the past two years and finally has representation from every club in the league, formed of 23 teams in the US and seven in Canada.

Their slogan is “If you can play, you can play”.

Landeskog was recently selected for the Swedish Olympic team to play in Sochi in February. His announcement of support for You Can Play is considered to be no coincidence due to the protests surrounding the Winter Games in Russia.

- See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/all-uspro-ice-hockey-teams-now-have-leastone-pro-gay-player100114#sthash.

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Controversial New Jersey Governor Chris Christie vetoed on Jan. 13 a bill that would have made it easier for transgender residents to obtain an amended birth certificate.

The legislation, which passed the state legislature last year, simply would have allowed transgender residents to change the gender marker on their birth certificate by providing an affidavit from a licensed medical professional showing they had undergone medically appropriate treatment.

HRC President Chad Griffin released the following statement: “Chris Christie has a responsibility to look out for the well-being of all New Jerseyans, but today he chose instead to keep in place burdensome regulations for transgender people living in his state. This legislation would have made it easier for transgender residents to amend their birth certificate – a basic form of identification that is required for many other documents and that speaks to our core identity and humanity.

“Governor Christie is letting down transgender New Jerseyans and showing that their well-being is of no concern to him. We call on the legislature to again pass this legislation and shine a spotlight on how harmful this veto is to the citizens of his state.”

Greg Hernandez commented on gaystarnews.com: “LGBTI activists in the state are furious. ‘It was very vindictive,’ Garden State Equality Executive Director Troy Stevenson tells Gay Star News.

‘It had not been a controversial piece of legislation. Just because it had the word transgender in it, he didn’t want to sign it.’

“Stevenson points out that only about 30 percent of transgender people actually go through a full surgery. “‘A person’s gender identity is about who they are, not what their body looks like,’ he said. ‘This bill would have

GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, is calling on the Contra Costa County, Calif., district attorney’s office to drop charges against a bullied transgender student, Jewlyes Gutierrez, who was the only student charged in an alleged altercation on campus with three other students, all of whom were merely suspended.

Mobile phone video of the altercation shows Gutierrez, who had been harassed by the students, at one point even trying to get away from the other students who pursued and continued the assault.

Contra Costa Unified School District President Charles Ramsey has also called on the district attorney to drop the battery charge.

“We are outraged by the district attorney’s office’s decision to charge Jewlyes Gutierrez with a crime,” GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard said. “GLSEN calls on the district attorney to drop the charges and explain why a bullied transgender student was targeted in this case.

Racism and transphobia are scourges in our schools. GLSEN stands with Jewlyes Gutierrez and her family as we continue to fight for transgender, lesbian, gay and bisexual students across the country unfairly singled out for harsh discipline and outrageous criminal jeopardy.

“We also applaud Contra Costa School Board President Charles Ramsey, who clearly understands the problem and what must be done.”

Gutierrez said she has experienced bullying for the past two years because of her gender identity. She approached a vice principal about the harassment before the altercation, but she said he did not adequately address the issue. Gutierrez then confronted the three other students suspended in the altercation.

According to Harsh Realities: The Experiences of Transgender Students in Our Nation’s Schools, a 2009 GLSEN report, 89 percent of transgender students experienced verbal harassment at school in the past year, 55 percent experienced physical harassment and 28 percent were physically assaulted.

Additionally, only 33 percent of transgender students who reported an incident to their school said school officials took effective actions to address the incident.

GLSEN research has found that LGBT students sometimes do not report incidents because they fear retribution from their harassers. Some LGBT students were even punished by school officials when they did report.

The U.S. Departments of Education and Justice have released guidelines for schools to address the discriminatory and disproportionate discipline that students of color face in school, often called the “school-to-prison pipeline.” Research shows that LGBT students, who were not specifically mentioned in the guidelines, are also discriminated against and treated more harshly in disciplinary situations.

“This case is a travesty, and a stark example of how LGBT students, particularly LGBT students of color, are forced into the ‘school-to-prison pipeline,’” Byard said. “Ironically, this egregious case has come to light only two days after the U.S. Departments of Justice and Education issued guidelines on school discipline and school climate designed to move schools away from the biased criminalization of student behavior and toward productive learning cultures of respect for all.

“GLSEN was part of the process that led to that important step forward, and we continue to press for even clearer statements of existing protections for LGBT students under federal law, and new legislation and policy to ensure that the full framework is in place for true LGBT student safety and access. Zero-tolerance policies must go. Differential discipline must end. We must build healthy school communities where LGBT students and all students of color are fully embraced and supported, free from fear and free to thrive.”

In addition, Gutierrez’s sister has created an online petition calling on the district attorney to drop the charges.

Arrests of gay men are already underway in Nigeria Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan has signed a bill mandating 14 years prison time for anyone entered into a same-sex marriage or civil union and 10 years in prison for anyone who participates or operates a gay club or organization, or shows any indication that they are in a same-sex relationship.

A human rights organization on Jan. 13 reported that in Nigeria’s northern Bauchi state arrests were already underway, according to the AP: Dorothy Aken’Ova is executive director of Nigeria’s International Center for Reproductive Health and Sexual Rights.

She said on Jan. 13 the new law, already being dubbed the “Jail the Gays” law, will endanger and even criminalize programs fighting HIV-AIDS in the gay community. She said police in Bauchi state have a list of 168 purportedly gay men, of whom 38 have been arrested recently.

Jonathan’s spokesman confirmed Monday he signed the act providing penalties of up to 14 years in jail for same-sex marriage and up to 10 years’ imprisonment for membership in or encouragement of gay organizations.

State Dept. objects to repression The Washington Blade’s Chris Johnson questioned State Department spokesperson Marie Harf about the new Nigerian law and the administration’s objections to it.

While the law bans same-sex marriage and gay unions, its more troubling aspects deal with the banning of LGBT organizations and meetings. Harf said the State Dept. agrees with that assertion: “Obviously, we respect the sovereignty of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and the prerogatives of its national assembly to pass legislation. We just don’t support any legislation that institutionalizes discrimination against one select group of people, and I think one of the key reasons we are opposed to this is that the law goes far beyond prohibiting same-sex marriage.”

Harf also said the State Dept had been monitoring it since its inception and

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet had been in contact with Nigeria about it: “Since the law was in draft form, we’ve been in continual contact with the Jonathan administration, the National Assembly and a wide variety of Nigerian stakeholders,” Harf said. “Our conversations have been focused on our concerns that portions of the law, again, appear to restrict Nigerians’ rights to freedom of expression, assembly and association — provisions that we’ve been very clear we do not support.”

Harf said she did not know whether sanctions or restrictions on aid were on the table as a result of this.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2qNpEq5B9 “Unconstitutional, dangerous and wrong” “The Nigerian government should immediately move to stay implementation of the Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill signed into law this month,” said Jessica Stern, Executive Director of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC). According to widespread news reports the law stipulates prison sentences for vague actions, such as indirectly depicting homosexuality, and criminalizes freedom of speech, assembly and association of those advocating human rights and equality for lesbians, gays, bisexual, and trans individuals (LGBT).

“It doesn’t take a lawyer to understand that this law is unconstitutional, dangerous, and wrong,” said Jessica Stern. “The authorities must stay its implementation immediately.”

The bill, signed into law this month, was adopted by the Nigerian Senate in December 2013, in an attempt to reconcile different versions of the bill from the Nigerian parliament’s Senate and the House of Representatives. The bill criminalizes same-sex unions, as well as the direct or indirect “public show” of a same sex amorous relationship, and the “registration, operation, and sustenance” of “gay clubs, societies, organizations, processions, or meetings.” The Nigerian criminal code already criminalizes samesex sexual conduct between men, and, depending on interpretation, women as well.

“The law’s overly vague and broad provisions create a legal uncertainty that deeply undermines the rule of law,” said Stern. “Artists, teachers, health workers, human rights defenders, essentially anyone who helps another person out, can be criminalized if that person is then accused of being gay. This bill threatens to undermine the very fabric of Nigerian society.”

President Goodluck Jonathan reportedly signed the bill into law because, he is reported as saying, a majority of Nigerians are against same-sex marriage.

“This bill goes far beyond banning same-sex marriage. It criminalizes community and compassion, ” said Stern.

House Teapublican wants to bar federal agencies from recognizing marriages Rep. Randy Weber (R-TX) introduced a anti-gay conservative federal legislation on Jan. 9 called “The State Marriage Defense Act of 2014,” which would bar federal agencies from recognizing samesex marriages in the states that have laws banning them.

Said Weber in a statement: “The 10th Amendment was established to protect state sovereignty and individual rights from being seized by the Federal Government. For too long, however, the Federal Government has slowly been eroding state’s rights by promulgating rules and regulations through federal agencies. I drafted the State Marriage Defense Act of 2014 to help restore the 10th Amendment, affirm the authority of states to define and regulate marriage, as well as, provide clarity to federal agencies seeking to determine who qualifies as a spouse for the purpose of federal law. By requiring that the Federal Government defer to the

laws of a person’s state of legal residence in determining marital status, we can protect states’ constitutionally established powers from the arbitrary overreach of unelected bureaucrats.”

Writes the hate group Family Research Council in a press release lauding Weber: “The State Marriage Defense Act is a response to the Supreme Court’s 2013 decision in United States v. Windsor. The Court struck down as unconstitutional Section 3 of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which defined marriage for all purposes under federal law as the union of one man and one woman.

The plaintiff in Windsor had entered into a marriage with a person of the same sex that was recognized as legal by the state in which she lived, so the Court said that the federal government should also recognize the relationship as a marriage.

“However, the Court was silent on the status of same-sex couples who may have obtained a civil marriage in one state, but who live in a state that recognizes only marriages of a man and a woman. The Obama administration has implemented guidance for some federal agencies that ignores the marriage laws of states that define marriage between a man and a woman. At the same time, other federal agencies defer to the laws of a person’s state of legal residency to determine marital status for federal purposes. The State Marriage Defense Act would address this administrative chaos with a simple rule that tells the federal government to respect state determinations of the marital status of their residents when applying federal law.”

Naturally, FRC’s professional anti-gay activist Tony Perkins is thrilled, and had Weber on his radio show.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2q0S9chH8

Va. governor’s first act is protecting LGBTQ state employees In his first official act following his January inauguration, Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe signed an executive order protecting LGBT state employees from discrimination.

Shortly after taking office in 2010, GOP former Gov. Bob McDonnell stripped such protections from the traditional order, claiming that there was no evidence that gay people are discriminated against.

McAuliffe: “My administration is committed to keeping Virginia open and welcoming to all who call our Commonwealth home. Executive Order Number 1 sets the tone for an administration that will not accept discrimination in any form, and one that will work tirelessly to ensure all Virginians have equal opportunity in the workplace, no matter their backgrounds, race, religion, or whom they love.”

The Washington Blade notes that the order includes gender identity and expression for the first time.

Dying ex-Marine gets honorable discharge 58 years after he was kicked out for being gay

By Andrew Potts on gaystarnews.com Photo by Outserve-SLDN A 79-year-old man who is dying from cancer has finally had his military service record cleared 58 years after he was kicked out of the US Marine Corps when the military learned he was gay.

Faulkner was discharged as an “undesirable” after three years of military service beginning in 1953 during which he served in the Philippines and rose to the rank of sergeant.

Faulkner was diagnosed a few years ago with cancer and asked his relatives to help him secure a dying wish – to have his service record cleared.

Former military personnel who were (Ex-Marine continues page 6)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

national page one and international

Hal Faulkner is presented with his honorable discharge papers.

(Ex-Marine continued from page 5) kicked out of the military because of their sexuality have been able to get their records cleared after the repeal of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell ban on openly gay service members but that process usually takes longer six months even with a lawyer involved.

Faulkner’s doctors weren’t sure he would live that long so LGBTI service member group OutServe-SLDN got Faulkner a pro-bono lawyer from New York firm Winston & Strawn and asked the military to expedite the process.

The US Marine Corps approved the change of records in just two weeks and last month two uniformed Marines presented him with his corrected honorable discharge papers.

“I didn’t think that maybe I would last through all the battles that we’ve had, but a Marine is always a Marine,” Faulkner said at the ceremony, according to National Public Radio.

“I don’t have much longer to live. I will always be a Marine. Thank you. Semper fi.”

The two Marines answered Faulkner with the Marines battle cry, “Oorah!”

Faulkner only came out to his family in 2005 despite being in a relationship of 20 years.

Tel Aviv monument honors LGBTQ Holocaust victims sent to camps A new monument unveiled Jan. 10 in Tel Aviv pays respect to the estimated 15,000 members of the LGBT community who were sent to concentration camps under the Nazi regime. The Jerusalem Post reports: The monument (is) shaped in the form of a pink triangle, reminiscent of the pink triangles LGBT community members were required to attach to their clothes in the concentration camps, and will feature short texts in Hebrew, English and German.

Homosexuality was a felony under the Third Reich. The Gestapo founded an anti-homosexual unit that kept lists of nearly 100,000 names of people who were alleged members of the LGBT community. An estimated 15,000 of those were sent to concentration camps. In Buchenwald experiments were carried out with the intention of supposedly curing people from homosexuality.

Tel Aviv mayor Ron Huldai said, in a statement released Jan. 6, “This monument reminds us all how important it is for us to respect every human being. It is only natural that such a reminder will exist in Tel Aviv-Yafo – a city that warmly embraces all groups and minorities.”

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2pjJNdpFz

Holder agrees to recognize marriages of 1,300 Utah couples The Human Rights Campaign on Jan. 9 called on U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder to ensure that the marriages of more than 1300 gay couples who married before the SCOTUS stay are recognized by the federal government, the Salt Lake Tribune reports: In a letter delivered to Holder, the civil rights organization said there is no “legal reason to question the validity” of marriages that occurred between Dec. 20 and Jan. 6, when the U.S. Supreme Court stayed a federal judge’s ruling overturning Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage.

Holder has agreed to recognize the marriages.

The letter pointed out Utah Gov. Gary Herbert initially directed state agencies to recognize the marriages.

“Even though the governor’s office has now made a political decision to cut off this recognition, it continues to insist that it makes no pronouncement about the validity of these unions,” wrote Chad Griffin, president of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). “There is simply no reason for the United States government not to extend federal recognition to these more than 1,300 couples.”

HRC also sent a letter to attorneys general in 17 states where same-sex marriage is legal, calling on them to recognize the Utah marriages.

Blade poll: Support for marriage high in Utah Support for marriage equality in Utah is at a record high, the Washington Blade reports: A recent consumer survey conducted in Utah reveals that support for same-sex marriage in the state was at an all-time high last week just before the Supreme Court halted the weddings with a stay.

The poll, conducted using Google’s digital platform polling system, found that support for same-sex marriage reached 41 percent as of last week. Although the poll shows a majority of Utah voters have yet to embrace marriage equality, the result demonstrates a 13-point increase in support over two years when compared to an earlier poll from Brigham Young University.

David Baker, a Mormon and gay D.C. activist, said he ran the poll in the aftermath of the federal district court ruling in Utah in favor of marriage equality for more updated data on the state’s support for same-sex nuptials.

ACLU to sue Utah The ACLU is planning a lawsuit against Utah for putting marriages on hold, TPM reports:

The ACLU called for plaintiffs on Wednesday, and got “overwhelming interest” from couples who were married before the stay was granted.

“We have a great pool and we are working through that, and plan to bring litigation that will protect all marriages, whether the couples are named plaintiffs or not,” the ACLU said in a statement.

In a letter to Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes on Wednesday, ACLU of Utah legal director John Mejia called on the state to recognize the same-sex marriages performed before the stay: “In short, these marriages are valid and have vested the married couples with rights that the state and federal governments must recognize. Utah and the federal government should thus accord same-sex couples who married in Utah all of the same protections and obligations that married couples of the opposite sex receive,” he wrote. “When these couples married, they immediately obtained all of the same protections and obligations enjoyed by all of the other married couples in Utah.”

Meanwhile, Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes is telling county clerks to complete the paperwork for same-sex marriages performed before the SCOTUS stay, the AP reports: Reyes’ spokeswoman Missy Larsen says the office is notifying counties. Larsen says Reyes’ new directive was issued to clear up some confusion and only applies to marriages that were solemnized.

And The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) announced that it was joining the law firm of Magleby & Greenwood, P.C., as counsel for the plaintiff couples in Kitchen v. Herbert, the case which went before Judge Shelby and has been appealed to the Tenth Circuit: The case was brought by three samesex couples in Utah: Derek Kitchen and Moudi Sbeity; Karen Archer and Kate Call; and Laurie Wood and Kody Partridge. On December 20, 2013, U.S. District Court Judge Robert J. Shelby ruled that Utah’s ban on marriage by same-sex couples violates the U.S. Constitution’s guarantees of equal protection and due process of law. The Tenth Circuit has ordered an expedited briefing schedule, with briefing to be completed by February 25, 2014.

Said Peggy Tomsic of Magleby & Greenwood, P.C.: “We believe it is in our clients’ best interest now that the case is on appeal, and particularly since it is on an expedited briefing schedule, to have a national organization with significant experience litigating and winning marriage equality cases to enhance our perspective and fire-power as we move forward.

“We also wanted a national organization that has a real connection with Utah.

Kate Kendell, NCLR’s Executive Director, was raised in Utah, worked here as a lawyer for many years, and has a daughter living here who finally had the opportunity to marry the love of her life when Judge Shelby issued his ruling.

“I have known Kate for years. I know she and NCLR are committed to bringing equality to every gay and lesbian citizen in this country, and I know that Kate will work tirelessly to bring equality to her home state.”

Gay-bashing Russian vigilante flees to Cuba Maxim Martsinkevich, the leader of the homophobic vigilante group “Occupy Paedophilia” that has lured and tortured a number of gay teens in Russia before posting its exploits to social media, has been on the lam for several months now, and Vocativ reports that he has turned up in Cuba: Maxim, also known as “Tesak” (Russian for cleaver), bounced to Ukraine first, and ended up in Cuba. Russian news site Life News ran an interview with him Jan. 8.

According to posts on Martsinkevich’s VKontakte social networking page, he was in Cuba as early as Dec. 10. Accord-

ing to the visa agreement between Russia and Cuba, Russians are allowed to stay without a visa for 30 days..

In a post on his blog in January, he talked about flying from Kiev to Havana via Frankfurt, and expounded on the lack of virtues of the German airport. Martsinkevich did not find German women attractive. He said nothing about his visa situation or future travel plans.

He was deported from Cuba the third week in January and placed in the custody of Russian police. He is now in a Russian jail and faces what could be three to five years in prison for an assault on a Ukrainian.

Oklahoma marriage ban is unconstitutional On Jan. 14 U.S. District Judge Terence Kern ruled that Oklahoma’s ban on marriage equality is unconstitutional.

His ruling is stayed pending appeal, meaning marriages will not occur immediately in the Sooner State.

Human Rights Campaign (HRC) President Chad Griffin issued the following statement: “Judge Kern has come to the conclusion that so many have before him – that the fundamental equality of lesbian and gay couples is guaranteed by the United States Constitution. With last year’s historic victories at the Supreme Court guiding the way, it is clear that we are on a path to full and equal citizenship for all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. Equality is not just for the coasts anymore, and today’s news from Oklahoma shows that time has come for fairness and dignity to reach every American in all 50 states.”

Two plaintiff couples, Mary Bishop and Sharon Baldwin and Gay Phillips and Susan Barton, filed their case, Bishop v. Oklahoma, in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Oklahoma in November 2004. Lead counsel in the case are Don Holladay and James Warner of the Oklahoma City law firm Holladay & Chilton PLLC. The ruling comes on the heels of a year-long string of electoral, judicial and legislative victories for marriage equality. In recent weeks both the New Mexico Supreme Court and a federal district judge in Utah have ruled in favor of marriage for lesbian and gay couples.

Evan Wolfson, founder and president of Freedom to Marry, released the following statement: “This is a tremendous day for loving and committed same-sex couples and their families in Oklahoma, building on the momentum of eight other states that ended their restrictions on marriage for same-sex couples in 2013.

The federal district judge has done the right thing by affirming that marriage is a fundamental freedom for all people, gay and non-gay – for all of us who believe in liberty and fairness. As the case makes its way up through the courts, we will continue to do the work of having conversations about why marriage matters and creating a climate for victory when the Supreme Court eventually takes the freedom to marry case that brings national resolution. The momentum for the freedom to marry will continue as we win more hearts and minds, working to bring the freedom to marry throughout the country.”

The challenge to the law was brought by the Oklahoma City law firm Holladay & Chilton PLLC on behalf of Oklahoma same-sex couples.

“It’s no accident that we’re seeing a decision like this in a comparatively conservative place like Oklahoma,” said James Esseks, director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Project. “It reflects the growing consensus across the country – in red, blue, and purple states – that it’s unfair to exclude same-sex couples from marriage. At least for the moment, love has won out.”

The ACLU has brought challenges of its own against similar laws in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and Virginia.

(Oklahoma continues page 11)

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Interview

7

Rev. Tom Decker during the reconstruction process at Open Arms.

Rev. Tom Decker of Open Arms MCC

By Susan Jordan Last year Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, with a worshipping congregation of about 50 people, moved from Chili to 707 E. Main St. in the city.

Congregation members spent months remodeling the building. As member Jeff Myers points out, “We all learned how to use a sledgehammer!”

The Reverend Tom Decker, the church’s pastor, suggests that the move was a transformation, not only of location, but also of people.

Rev. Decker told The Empty Closet, “I can safely say that moving the church physically has had the effect that the church itself was transformed – not the church but the people changed. There’s a new sense of identity, mission and vision.”

The move came because of the feeling that in Chili there was no growth potential. “It was out of the way, and there were transit issues,” he said. “If you didn’t have a car, you couldn’t get to the church.”

He noted that worldwide, MCC churches tend to be located in urban areas. However, this is not just because there are more openly gay people in cities. Rev. Decker said, “MCC isn’t just ‘the gay church’. It has always tried to be open, inclusive and welcoming to all people, regardless of race, age, gender or sexual orientation. That’s what we are striving to be – the human rights church.”

The new Open Arms church has programming for children and performs weddings; it is intended to be a ministry for all people. Rev. Decker said, “First and foremost, this is our space to SHARE. That’s what we have been doing, even in the rubble of construction. We’ve opened the space to the Gay Alliance Youth Group and Rainbow SAGE, and hope to do even more of this. We’ve made a determination to be a space that is open and inviting to families with children and toddlers.

“We have the Rainbow Rangers group for older children who can participate in some form of inclusive religious education – an education that is body-positive, not guilt-driven – and the central aim is to convey an image of God that sends

the message in scripture that God loves everyone, unconditionally. The younger children, under three or four, are the Rainbow Sprouts.”

The nursery area is next to the sanctuary, with a large observation window so parents can keep an eye on their little ones during the service if they wish to.

Rev. Decker added, “Our first push this year is for young families, LGBT and others. This push is because we know the climate in North America is such that people have been disillusioned with traditional religion, but still yearn for positive spirituality.

“The second push is for trans inclusion. That is very much a focus for this year. The spaces are gender-neutral as all spaces must be to qualify to be MCC trans-certified churches. We’re in the process of getting that certification.”

In January, with renovation complete, the church held an opening celebration that drew the head of MCC and other elders. The Reverend Elder Dr. Nancy Wilson, Moderator of MCC worldwide, came from Sarasota, Fla. and the Reverend Elder Ken Martin, retired co-director of Church Life and Health, flew in from Austin, Texas. It was brave of both of them to travel to upstate New York just in time for the polar vortex!

“Both had a struggle to get here,” Rev. Decker said. “They mentioned the incredible transformation of the Rochester church, that used to be described as insular. Now we are reaching out and being an integral part of the community in Rochester, both LGBT and otherwise.

Both Nancy and Ken did a re-assessment of Open Arms and felt that the church is rejuvenated and outreach-focused, caring for others. You see that for instance in the fact that even with all this going on, we had the most successful Thanksgiving basket drive (which fed 150 people) and Christmas angel drive, which provided gifts for 60 children who otherwise would not have had Christmas presents. It’s that focus on breaking through and breaking out and rediscovering our identity as a church.”

Rev. Decker used to be a Roman Catholic priest. “Being Catholic and openly gay didn’t go over too well with the Catholic church,” he said. “I decided

I wanted to live authentically, so I left the Roman Catholic Church and cut my ties in accordance with canon law. Then I needed a job, and the only one for whom it didn’t matter who I was, was actually the Toronto police force. I’m eternally grateful because that showed me if you’re a person who wants to serve and help people, it doesn’t matter what your background is. That acceptance changed my life. I was a policeman for nine years and became the LGBT liaison officer. In that position I used pastoral skills to build community and that rekindled my vocation. So I decided to transfer my clergy credentials to MCC.” Rev. Decker’s husband is Maurice Tomlinson, attorney for AIDS-Free World and international human rights activist, who had to flee his home in Jamaica when he was outed as having married a man. He and Rev. Decker have often traveled to Caribbean countries like St. Lucia, Barbados and Suriname to train police officers in LGBT sensitivity and awareness. Rev. Decker has added a focus on global outreach to Open Arms.

He said, “We’ve sent two loads of clothing and food to homeless youth in Jamaica (many youth were living in sewers until they were ousted by police and their possessions burned). This church is one of the main supporters of Dwayne’s House (named for a youth murdered for

being gay). There is police harassment of the youth. The first items we sent to the youth while they were still living in the sewers – police claimed those items were stolen and destroyed the clothing by fire.”

Jeff Myers has been a member of MCC for around 26 years, and a member of Open Arms for seven years. He told the EC, “The changes have been amazing.

It’s such a positive change for our church and our ministry. It’s very exciting to be a part of the community. We’re focused on the diverse community in Rochester – our LGBT brothers and sisters and also the community at large. We partnered with Action For A Better Community and now are planning family-oriented events. Some city churches are willing (to partner with us) and some won’t even speak to us. But we knew it would be that way.” ■

Jeff Myers and Rev. Decker outside the church. Photo: Susan Jordan

Deacon John Mackereth, Rev. Tom Decker, Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson and Elder Ken Martin.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

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february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Making the Scene

WASSAILING AWAY: The Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus presented their winter concert on Dec. 13 and 14 at Hochstein. Photos: Lorraine Woerner-MacGowan

Robby in the courtyard at Village Gate. Photo: Susan Jordan

My Own Private Rochester: Robby Morris

By Susan Jordan Robby Morris, alias Pinkie Eleganza Extravaganza, used to write the funny and insightful column “Confessions of a Serial Blonde” in The Empty Closet.

He is also familiar to anyone who has shopped at Outlandish.

Robby talked to the EC recently about many things, including his love for the Rochester LGBTQ community, and how he got his drag name (from a queen, in the traditional way).

He explains, “I was out visiting my best friend in San Francisco about two years ago, and we went to the Folsom Street Fair. I got to hang out with some adult models, and one of them, Mason Starr, knew that I like ‘My Little Pony’ and am a fan of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race,’ so he gave me Pinkie Eleganza Extravaganza as my drag name.”

Robby does not consider himself a performer, and you won’t find him lip-synching at drag shows. He said, “I’m more of a spokesperson. When we do Pride, people have a hard time believing I’m nervous in crowds, but I am. So hiding behind

a character makes it easier to march down Park Ave. without losing my lunch.

“Whenever there’s a gay occasion, like ImageOut, Pinkie emerges. She’s my tribute to all the drag queens I’ve admired over the years, like Ambrosia Salad and Darienne Lake.” (The latter, by the way, has just joined RuPaul’s Drag Race! See the March EC.) Robby says of his work at Outlandish, “It’s more than just a job. The thing I love about working here is that to me, with any place that’s gay-related or gay-friendly, the act of coming to work is a playful statement.

I’m sort of in the middle of our community.”

So what is this My Little Pony thing about? Robby says, “It all started with a joke three years ago, around the first time I went to Pride in drag. The little girl in my life, who I call The Diva, and who I’ve known since she was a baby, was in my apartment watching the cartoon series, and I found myself caught up in it, because the message has all the values I believe in – friendship, kindness, loyalty, honesty and laughter. So I started collecting the figurines.

“I then discovered that there’s

a whole community of collegeage guys who watch the cartoons and call themselves ‘The Bronies’ – the Bros who like Ponies.

I thought, how cute that pastel ponies designed for little girls are now followed by people of all genders and ages.”

About his favorite places in town, Robby said, “We have incredible nightlife here. I enjoy hanging out at the Forum and 140.” As far as favorite restaurants go, he laughs, “Now that I’m back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon, I’ve discovered in my 30s that my 40s and 50s will be happier if I take care of my health. So my favorite restaurant is the produce section at Wegmans!”

As a dedicated film buff, his favorite places also include the Little Theatre. He adds, “I have a special feeling for the Dryden’s film nights with a different theme every month, like classic horror films in October. I also enjoy going to RBTL musicals –

I’ve seen ‘Wicked’ and ‘Chicago’ every time they’ve come to town!

I have friends who teach in the theatre department at Nazareth and they do a lot of really cool stuff.”

Robby’s ideal Saturday night would be “dinner and a movie with friends, and a nice conversation afterwards about the film we’ve just seen and about our lives. I’m less high-maintenance than the hairpieces would suggest!”

His favorite Rochester events are Pride and ImageOut. His favorite organizations? “The work the Gay Alliance does is unparalleled and I’m pretty fond of The Empty Closet. When I was younger and struggling with my identity, and how to make a difference, I remember seeing the EC and reading it. I remember telling myself that one day I’d write for it – and sure enough I did!

“Also, the Victory Alliance does great work and is a collec-

Pinkie with the OUTlandish crew at Pride 2013.

tion of great people.”

Robby ended his EC column this past year. He said, “I’ve taken a break from writing but I find my voice as a writer is changing and I feel re-inspired to be less introspective and to write about global perceptions.

I’m becoming more aware of the world around me.”

Robby, an only child, moved all around the country while growing up. He arrived in Rochester in 1993 and was not very impressed at first. He said, “I gradually realized we’re very fortunate to have a fantastic gay community, and I think sometimes we take it for granted – until we hear from people who live elsewhere! The main thing about Rochester for me is that we are blessed to have the community and organizations we have. If you have the ability to be visible, I think you should be, regardless of how things are better these days. There’s still a lot to be done.” ■

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

national and international

OPEN ARMS CELEBRATION: Emily Jones, Terry Kelly and Deb Hughes at the reception for the new Open Arms MCC at 707 E. Main St. on Jan. 5. Photos: Bess Watts

Maurice Tomlinson at Open Arms. For more on the church, see page 7.

Elder Ken Martin and Rev. Elder Nancy Wilson with Rev. Tom Decker and David Zona.

(Oklahoma from page 6) Following the Supreme Court’s decision striking down the federal Defense of Marriage Act – a case in which the ACLU served as co-counsel to Edie Windsor – the ACLU launched the Out for Freedom campaign to achieve the freedom to marry for same-sex couples across the country.

“We’re thrilled that the court has struck down this discriminatory law,” said Ryan Kiesel, Executive Director of the ACLU of Oklahoma. “The heartland of America should be a place where loving and committed couples are able to obtain the legal protections and dignity afforded by marriage, and this decision brings us one step closer towards true equality.”

LGBT Bar Assoc. backs nomination of lesbian judge Judith Levy The National LGBT Bar Association applauded a Senate Judiciary Committee vote Jan. 16 advancing the nomination of Judith Levy to serve on the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan. Levy, who is openly gay, currently serves as an Assistant United States Attorney. The Judiciary Committee voted in favor of advancing Levy’s nomination to the full Senate.

“Judith Levy is an accomplished and experienced legal professional who will serve the people of Michigan, and the United States, well,” said D’Arcy Kemnitz, executive director of The LGBT Bar. “As our country diversifies, it is imperative that our judiciary reflect the people, families and nation it is called to serve. Just as women, African-Americans, Latinos and others have made our judicial system stronger through their expertise and experiences, openly lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender judges and attorneys also ensure our courts reflect our country. We now call on the full Senate to vote on Levy’s nomination without delay.”

If confirmed, Levy would be the ninth openly lesbian or gay federal judge.

She previously served as Chief of the Civil Rights Unit during her time as U.S. Attorney, and was also a trial attorney for the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Council. Her nomination has received strong support from numerous organizations, including the American Bar Association, which has characterized her as “Unanimously Well Qualified.”

Earlier this year, the nomination of another openly gay nominee, William Thomas, was pulled following an objection by Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL).

Thomas, who was nominated by President Obama in November 2012 to a seat on the U.S. District Court for the South-

11 ern District of Florida, would have been the nation’s first openly gay AfricanAmerican federal judge. The LGBT Bar cautioned today that Senators must not block the nominations of qualified judicial nominees on the basis of ethnicity or sexual orientation.

“The proper role of the Senate is to advise and consent on judicial nominees based on their legal qualifications, not to delay or block those nominations for political purposes or gain,” said Kemnitz.

“Majority Leader Reid has taken historic steps to stop the obstruction of judicial nominations, and we expect Levy to receive a full Senate vote. Anything short of an up-or-down vote would be an affront to the nominations process.”

Cameroon gay man dies after family removes him from hospital A gay man in Cameroon who was jailed for sending a text message to another man saying “I’m very much in love with you” has died after his family removed him from a hospital where he had sought treatment for medical complications brought on by his stay in prison. The AP reports: Roger Jean-Claude Mbede, 34, died on Jan. 10 after his family removed him from the hospital where he had been seeking treatment for a hernia, lawyer Alice Nkom said.

“His family said he was a curse for them and that we should let him die,” she said.

Mbede was arrested in March 2011, and given a three-year sentence the following month.

The AP adds: Cameroon brings more cases against suspected homosexuals than any other African country, according to Human Rights Watch. The rights group said in a March 2013 report that at least 28 people had been charged under the law in the past three years.

Mbede developed the hernia while in prison. In July 2012 he was granted provisional release on medical grounds, according to Human Rights Watch, and went into hiding. An appeals court upheld his conviction in December 2012.

International human rights activists have called on Cameroonian police to investigate Mbede’s death in light of reports that he may have been barred from receiving medical treatment.

Mbede had been declared a prisoner of conscience by Amnesty International.

Trans woman dares city councilman to “throw the first stone” at her

By Ashlee Kelly on gaystarnews.com A Louisiana city council member withdrew his proposal against a progay ordinance after a trans woman challenged him to “throw the first ( Trans woman continues page 12)

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

From Our Readers

JINGLE BALLS: K Mart’s holiday ad infuriated the rightwing publicity machine “One Million Moms.” (See the Dec.-Jan. Empty Closet.)

K Mart Jingle Balls ad no worse than Victoria’s Secrets; what’s the uproar?

To the Editor: I don’t see what all the uproar is about the men in Joe Boxers. It’s no different than the Victoria Secrets ad with women in their panties and bras with their boobs half out.

My preference would be the guys in briefs than boxers doing their thing.

Pete Fedele The Editor responds: The Right probably doesn’t approve of Victoria’s Secrets either. But it seems they REALLY can’t stand men being depicted in the way that women are. Also anti-gay ideologues are not exactly known for their sense of humor! ■

national and international (Trans woman from page 11) stone” against LGBTI people.

Councilman Ron Webb, the lone “no” vote against an ordinance which bans discrimination in housing and employment against LGBTI people in the city of Shreveport, La., had authored a proposal banning the new policy on the grounds of “religious freedom”.

Webb, known for his anti-gay remarks, had previously said: “I’ve worked with homosexuals before. I don’t socialize with them. I don’t think, you know, we should.”

He added: “The Bible tells you homosexuals are an abomination.”

Webb’s proposal faced a backlash from many in the LGBTI community in Shreveport, with dozens of people arriving on 14 January to voice their opposition. However, one woman took things further.

Pamela Raintree, a trans activist, called out Webb for basing his antigay beliefs on Christian scripture, and dared him to “throw the first stone” – going so far as to bring the stone with her for his convenience. (Jesus told a mob ready to stone someone to death, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”)

Quoting the bible, Raintree said: “Leviticus 20:13 states, ‘If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, they shall surely put him to death.’ I brought the first stone, Mr Webb, in case that your Bible talk isn’t just a smokescreen for personal prejudices.”

Within minutes, an embarrassed Webb withdrew his anti-gay proposal without vote.

The video, showing Raintree’s brave challenge to Webb, has since gone viral, with over 20,000 views on Youtube.

Marriages start in England, Wales on March 29 The marriage equality law in England and Wales will take effect on March 29, 2014, the BBC reports: Initially it was thought the first samesex marriage in England and Wales would not take place until the summer.

Couples wishing to be among the first to marry will need to give formal notice of their intention to marry on 13 March.

It comes after the government’s controversial legislation on the issue received Royal Assent in July. The Conservative, Labour and Liberal Democrat leaderships all backed the proposals.

RELATED: Last month the Scottish Parliament passed the first reading of its marriage equality bill. The bill faces two more readings and royal assent is expected to come in the spring.

Study says conservative evangelicals have highest divorce rate According to a study to be published in the American Journal Of Sociology, “religiously conservative Protestants” divorce at a higher rate than the general population.

Researchers discovered that higher divorce rates among conservative Protestants were tied to earlier marriages and childbearing – factors known to ramp up divorce. Starting families earlier tends to stop young adults from pursuing more education and depresses their wages, putting more strain on marriages, University of Texas at Austin professor Jennifer Glass said.

But the study went a step further: Glass and another researcher also discovered that people living in areas with lots of conservative Protestants were at higher risk of getting divorced, even

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet if they weren’t conservative Protestants themselves.

County by county, for every 1 percent increase in the share of conservative Protestants compared with mainline Protestants, the divorce rate increased 0.02 percent, the study found. Glass argued that community institutions in such areas might encourage early marriage, affecting divorce rates for everyone who lives there.

“Save that… for the next time you get told that you are destroying traditional marriage,” commented JoeMyGod.com.

Houston mayor marries longtime partner Houston Mayor Annise Parker married her longtime partner Kathy Hubbard in a sunset ceremony in Palm Springs, California on Jan. 16, the Houston Chronicle reports: The ceremony, held at sunset at a private home, was attended by a small group of family and friends of the couple, including Parker’s mother and Hubbard’s sister, according to a statement from Parker’s office.

“This is a very happy day for us,” said Parker, the first openly gay mayor of a major U.S. city. “We have had to wait a very long time to formalize our commitment to each other. Kathy has been by my side for more than two decades, helping to raise a family, nurture my political career and all of the other ups and downs and life events that come with a committed relationship.”

Tweeted Parker: “I am privileged to now be the wife of the woman I have loved for more than two decades. I couldn’t be happier. We said our vows today.”

The vows were performed by Rev. Paul Fromberg, a friend and the partner of Parker’s political consultant Grant Martin.

Though Parker had previously said

Houston Mayor Annise Parker married Kathy Hubbard on Jan. 16.

that she wouldn’t marry until it was legal in Texas, she changed her mind. It was reported in late December that she would marry in California. When Republicans expressed outrage, Parker suggested they “Get over it.”

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2qfK3tbrr

NBC will cover Russian anti-gay laws during Olympics; Putin talks trash again NBC has hired journalist David Remnick to provide coverage of Russian politics including fallout from the country’s anti-gay laws during its upcoming Olympics broadcast from Sochi, Deadline

reports: The network announced it has hired New Yorker editor (and former Washington Post Moscow bureau chief) David Remnick to provide guest commentary on the network’s air during its coverage of the Games. Remnick will contribute to NBC’s coverage of the Opening Ceremony and will offer commentary for NBC News in Sochi, the network said.

“We are facing an Olympics that have a number of issues around them — substantial, meaty, news issues,” NBC’s Olympics exec producer Jim Bell told Sports Illustrated over the weekend. “For us to be able to have an opportunity to address them with someone like David made perfect sense. We would be remiss not to rely on some of the best and brightest minds to help present this to our viewers the right way.”

13 NBC is already taking heat from activists groups like Queer Nation which recently protested a talk by gay figure skater Johnny Weir, whom NBC has hired to provide commentary for the Sochi Games.

NBC also recently promised, in a statement of support for Weir, that it “will cover all newsworthy issues as they are relevant to the Games,” including the LGBT law.

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2n0RrZQ9G Putin’s latest anti-gay statements Vladimir Putin appeared on ABC’s This Week in January to state that although gays molest children, etc., etc., there will be no anti-gay purges in Sochi during the Olympics.

The interview with George Stephanopoulos wasn’t the only one Russian President Vladimir Putin gave over the weekend, and in an interview with Russian and foreign television stations he offered more information about his views on gay people.

Putin believes that “propaganda” can turn a heterosexual child gay. He refused to answer a question from the BBC on whether he believes that people are born gay or become gay. The Russian law, however, suggests that information about homosexuality can influence a child’s sexual orientation.

He equated gays and pedophiles and said the law was aimed at banning propaganda of homosexuality and pedophilia, suggesting that gays are more likely than heterosexual males to abuse children.

And, using more worrisome language, he suggested that Russia would benefit if the population were “cleansed” of gays.

Making another favorite argument against homosexuality, Putin noted with pride that Russia saw more births than deaths last year for the first time in two decades. Population growth is vital for Russia’s development and “anything that gets in the way of that we should clean (NBC continues page 14)

14

Health Despite growing education, many Americans still not getting influenza vaccine

By HCR Home Care Although federal, state, and county offices continue to increase efforts providing education and awareness about influenza, the statistics do not seem to be changing. Despite Healthy People 2020 Targets for Influenza vaccination coverage are 80 percent for six months to 64 years of age and 90 percent for 65 years and older, most people do not receive the vaccine.

This is particularly true in the high risk groups of elderly, pregnant women, and those with chronic illnesses.

Coverage for the 2011-2012 season (September 2011 – June 2012) for adults (age 18 and older) was 38.8 percent; which is about 367,500 people total in the United States. Among the elderly, high risk group, of those age 65 years and older, 64.9 percent received the vaccine and roughly 44,000 seniors die from flu and complications from the flu each year. Despite increased educational efforts; increased access through pharmacies, work places, and schools; and even the 2009 H1N1 Pandemic; most seem to be avoiding the influenza vaccine.

The Flu Can Be Prevented!

The low percentages of immunizations indicate that there are barriers preventing individuals from receiving vaccination.

One of the biggest barriers is the misconceptions and misinformation about influenza and its vaccine.

The flu can be prevented by getting the flu vaccine each year. You can get the flu vaccine at your physician’s office, health care clinics, and many pharmacies; and the vaccine is usually covered by insurance. The vaccine offers protection against multiple strains of the virus.

You cannot get the flu from the flu vaccine! The viruses contained within the flu shot are inactivated or killed, so that they cannot cause an infection. As the virus is made, flu vaccine manufacturers kill the virus and conduct tests to ensure the vaccine is safe and will not cause the infection.

If a person develops the flu or flu like symptoms after getting the vaccination, it is usually because they have already been exposed to the disease prior to receiving the shot. It can take two weeks for the vaccination to take full effect. If you have been exposed during this time period, your body may not have created all the antibodies it needs to successfully defeat the infection.

Flu viruses constantly change and a person’s immune protection from the vaccinations can decline over time. So, it is important to get a flu vaccine every year for the best protection. The CDC and federal government suggest getting the vaccine as soon as it is available. The flu vaccine usually becomes available in early fall, approximately in September.

Symptoms: • Sore throat • Aches & pains • Fever Prevention: • Get Vaccinated • Cover your cough & sneeze • Wash your hands Protect your family, friends, and coworkers by getting vaccinated this flu season!

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

national and international (NBC from page 13) up,” he said, using a word usually reserved for military operations.

And by the way, Russia loves Elton John: “Millions of our people sincerely love him despite his orientation.”

Read more: http://www.towleroad. com/#ixzz2qwxrJtzI HRC blasts Putin for lies The Human Rights Campaign has published a blistering reaction to the comments made by Vladimir Putin on the broadcast of ABC’s This Week.

“President Putin’s public interpretation of the country’s anti-LGBT law is beyond comprehension,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “This law was designed to do nothing less than secure second class status for LGBT Russians and visitors. It does nothing to protect children, but goes great lengths to harm families.”

Putin told Stephanopoulos athletes who protest or wear a rainbow pin will not be prosecuted under the law, noting there is a small difference between protesting the law and violating it. His statements today contradict those of government officials who last year said visitors are not exempt from Russia’s repressive laws.

Under the law foreigners can not only be fined, but also face arrest and up to 15 days in jail, followed by eventual deportation.

Putin also compared the country’s anti-LGBT law with those of some U.S. states, saying laws are still on the books criminalizing homosexuality. Stephanopoulos promptly corrected the Russian President, explaining to him the Supreme Court struck down those laws.

“Americans, and the citizens of the world are against archaic and dangerous laws that single out a group of people,” Griffin added. “The blatant lie that gays and lesbians are not discriminated at all in Russia only serves to undermine Putin’s credibility around the globe.”

Many observers fear that after the Olympics, anti-gay repression and violence in Russia, supported strongly by the Orthodox Church and their violent allies the neo-Nazi skinheads, will reach new heights.

CeCe McDonald gets early release from jail

By Ashlee Kelly on gaystarnews.com A Minneapolis trans woman who was imprisoned for manslaughter has been released early. Her supporters have long said that she acted in self defense.

CeCe McDonald, who was found guilty of second degree manslaughter, stabbed Dean Schmitz in an apparent case of self defense in June 2011. After pleading guilty, she was sentenced to 41 months in prison.

McDonald was freed on 13 January, just 19 months into her sentence.

Trans activists have always maintained McDonald had acted in self defense, after being attacked.

On the night of the stabbing, McDonald and four of her friends were heading to a grocery store in Minneapolis when they were confronted by Schmitz and others, who hurled racist and transphobic abuse at the group.

A fight soon broke out, leaving McDonald injured and Schmitz killed by a stab wound to the chest.

In her blog, McDonald maintains she acted in self defense, saying: ‘Currently, I am in a men’s state prison for the death of someone I accidentally stabbed in the act of defending myself... After being called everything from faggots to niggers, tempers escalated and I was caught in between the madness.

‘When the police arrived it wasn’t hard to for them to assume who the aggressors were — surely, for them, it had to have been the group of black kids who started all this drama. At least that was the feeling I was receiving by the way they were

CeCe McDonald was freed Jan. 13.

treating me and my friends. And instead of taking me directly to the ambulance, they made me sit in the back of a squad car in handcuffs while bleeding badly and in very bad pain.’

Activists across America, including Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg, have compared McDonald’s case to that of the killing of Trayvon Martin, who was shot in an apparent act of self defense by George Zimmerman.

Whilst it took months for Zimmerman to be arrested, only to be found not guilty, McDonald was arrested almost instantly and eventually accepted a plea bargain.

Supporters of McDonald include actress Lauren Laverne, best known for her portrayal of a trans inmate in the hit show “Orange Is The New Black”.

Laverne is currently in the process of producing a documentary on McDonald’s life, called “Free CeCe,” which is due for release later this year.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/trans-woman-cece-mcdonald-set-be-released-prison-early050114#sthash.wQgOCjww.dpuf

Bakery that refused lesbian wedding cake violated couple’s civil rights, Oregon says

By Greg Hernandez on gaystarnews.com The civil rights of a lesbian couple in Oregon were violated when a bakery refused to make their wedding cake, according to a state investigation.

The Bureau of Labor and Industries found that Sweet Cakes by Melissa had discriminated against Portland couple Rachel Cryer and Laurel Bowman. Both parties must now undergo settlement talks.

Co-owner Melissa Klein shared the news on the bakery’s Facebook page: “We received papers from BOLI yesterday and they have made their decision that we have apparently discriminated. From what we have gathered we now have to wait to find out what the fines will be within 60 days.”

Klein and her husband, Aaron, had cited religious reasons for refusing to make the cake. They had stated on Facebook that “we strongly believe that when a man and woman come together to be joined as one, it is truly one of the most special days of their lives.”

It was last January that Aaron Klein refused to take the order. In September, they closed up shop and began working out of their home.

- See more at: http://www.gaystarnews. com/article/state-finds-oregon-bakery-discriminated-refusing-make-wedding-cake-lesbians200114#sthash. aUkxRRDO.dpuf

Brazilian youth was brutally tortured, murdered by gang

By Joe Morgan on gaystarnews.com Police are on the hunt for a gang who pulled a gay teen’s teeth out, tortured and murdered him in Brazil.

Kaique Batista dos Santos, 16, was found in Sao Paulo battered and bruised with an iron bar still pierced in his leg.

It is alleged authorities originally believed the gay teen committed suicide.

His family fears he was targeted because of his sexuality and race.

Batista dos Santos’ sister Tayna has said, “These thugs enjoy beating and torturing with their bare hands and they are pleased to take the lives of homosexuals.

“He had bruises to his head and was probably kicked to death.”

Batista dos Santos had attended a party at a gay club in downtown Sao Paulo with friends when his phone and wallet were stolen.

At first, his friends thought he had left early because he had to go to work the next day.

But when he didn’t come home and didn’t show up for work, Batista dos Santos’ mother and sister went looking for him for two days before he was discovered on 12 January.

He was discovered around a mile from the stadium that will host the FIFA World Cup opening ceremony in the summer.

As the body was so disfigured, his family were only allowed to identify the gay teen three days afterwards.

The Department for Public Safety said it would not comment on the torture because the report is “confidential”.

Gay rights groups held a vigil to honor the gay teen, marching from Largo do Arrouche – a square in the city – to where the body was found.

Methodist Church charges another minister with marrying gay son, partner The United Methodist Church will try a second minister for performing the marriage of a gay son.

The Reverend Thomas Ogletree will go on trial on March 10 for violating church law, which bans clergy from performing weddings for same sex couples.

Last December, Reverend Frank Schaefer was defrocked after performing a marriage for his gay son.

Ogletree is a theologian, a former Yale Divinity School dean and a retired elder in the church’s New York district. Some clergy filed a complaint against him after the wedding announcement appeared in the New York Times.

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Six couples sue Florida for right to marry On Jan. 21, six same-sex couples and Equality Florida Institute filed a lawsuit in Florida state court in Miami seeking the freedom to marry.

The lawsuit argues that Florida’s laws barring same-sex couples from marriage violate the United States Constitution by denying them the legal protections and equal dignity that having the freedom to marry provides.

The couples are from Miami and the surrounding area. Four of the couples are raising children, and another couple has an adult child and two grandchildren.

The couples are Catherina Pareto and Karla Arguello; Dr. Juan Carlos Rodriguez and David Price; Vanessa and Melanie Alenier; Todd and Jeff Delmay; Summer Greene and Pamela Faerber and Don Price Johnston and Jorge Isaias Diaz.

They are represented by the law firm Carlton Fields Jorden Burt, attorney Elizabeth F. Schwartz, attorney Mary B. Meeks and the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR).

Said Pareto: “Florida is our home, it is where we are raising our child, and where we want to get married. Karla and I wish for our family the same things that other families want. We want to build our lives together, provide a safe and caring home for our child, and share in the responsibilities and protections of marriage.”

Added Greene: “As Pam and I get older, it worries me that we do not have the legal protections that marriage provides in case one of us becomes ill or dies.

Getting married in Florida will provide us with those important protections and it will allow us to celebrate that joyous occasion with all our family and friends, just as other couples can.”

Stated Equality Florida Institute Chief Executive Officer Nadine Smith: “Today the majority of Floridians stand with us as we take this historic step toward marriage (Florida continues page 16)

15

Opinion Too close to home…

By Brandon L. Hensler, M.S., APR Florida has an unfortunate history of being behind the eight ball on contemporary social issues. But never before has it so deeply and personally affected me.

Proponents of inequality have torn apart the seams of our nation since its founding, creating a world with unequal classes of people. Today, the deafening roar of inaction by the Florida Legislature to legalize marriage between same-sex couples is akin to this state’s previous missteps when it comes to treating humans with a sun-kissed touch of humanity, but this time — today — the fight has reached my front door step.

On June 21, 2013, my now-fiancé and I became engaged, ushering in a tidal wave of untroubled emotions, felicitations from our families, friends and coworkers and of course, the daunting task of planning our wedding. We cannot wait to celebrate our devotion to one another — our monogamy and unwavering mutual support — and stand before our closest relatives and friends to share our love and life-long commitment to the good, the bad and even the inevitable ugly.

Both my fiancé and I are native Floridians. He has spent his entire life in Florida, and with the exception of my time living in Ohio, Argentina and Bolivia, I have spent most of my life in South Florida. In fact, we are rooted mere miles from the hospital where I was born and my mother worked as a nurse in the 1970s.

Unfortunately, we will not be able to get married here. It is a shame that we will have to travel a great distance to get married. But this is not just a tale of inequality and hurt feelings. We are not the only

ones who lose. Florida loses too.

Since Florida does not recognize our love, we are forced to travel to a state that does, spending countless hours researching the best venues, caterers, bartenders and the perfect officiant, everything it takes — including the tens of thousands of dollars — to make our special day the best it can be. To make it “perfectly us.”

Multiply that by the many other samesex couples that are fleeing Florida to get married, taking countless dollars and jobs away to other states, and it becomes clear to see that Florida is the real loser in this scenario. But this tale is not solely about economics either.

These archaic and unpopular postures by an out-of-touch legislature negatively impact our great state’s image without doubt. States like Florida that continue to be stomach-wrenchingly short sighted on many public policies unintentionally provoke educated professionals to do more than go out of state to marry. Many understandably move elsewhere without looking back, and more still never move here to begin with. And that includes major corporations that will not consider relocating to the Sunshine State with this dark veil of intolerance overshadowing us.

The Florida Legislature has the chance to do the right thing for its people before the courts force it to catch up with the rest of the country. This much is inevitable.

Even the U.S. Military, frequently considered a sign of changing times if not a bellwether, has embraced equality by repealing the ludicrous Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, and by beginning to extend benefits to same-sex partnerships that different sex couples have long taken for granted. In fact, the Department of Defense now recognizes all same-sex mar-

riages — one very positive step forward toward equality in our nation.

But, Florida, we love you too much to give up on you. As appealing as Boston, Chicago, San Diego and the nation’s capital may be to us, we choose to stay and work toward a better future for the family we are building. I am not going to sugar coat it though. It is acutely painful that the place that I am generally proud to call home, a place for which I have so much love, has no love for my fiancé and me.

This tale is not about being a democrat or a republican, an independent or tea party member, a conservative or a liberal, or even what most Americans are — middle of the road. It is about being human and demonstrating kindness and tolerance toward others. It is about recognizing the reality that our relationships exist and our love and commitment are real and deserving of the same recognition as those of different-sex married couples.

There is no way around it. I am irate.

I am hurt. Millions of Americans are. But right here and right now, it cannot be about any of that for me either, lest I allow the Florida Legislature to rob us of the joy of celebrating our love and getting married.

Instead, we are looking at New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, California, D.C., and even Iowa to find the perfect place to get married in front of our loved ones.

And lately, my eyes are wandering towards one of the most recent states to catch up with the right side of history… …Aloha!

Brandon L. Hensler, M.S., APR, a resident of Hollywood, FL, is the former director of communications for the ACLU of Florida and holds a master’s of science in conflict analysis and resolution from Nova Southeastern University. ■

16

national and international (Florida from page 15) equality in the Sunshine State. These couples have been embraced by their families and communities, but every day Florida laws are denying them the protections and dignity that every family deserves. These harmful laws are outdated and out of step.

It is time for all families in our state to have full equality under the law.”

Attorney Cristina Alonso of Carlton Fields Jorden Burt added, “Courts throughout the country are recognizing that this is an issue of basic dignity and fundamental fairness. We look forward to the day when our clients can celebrate and protect their relationships by getting married in their home state in front of family and friends.”

Said attorney Elizabeth F. Schwartz: “As someone who has spent nearly two decades helping same-sex couples and their families achieve some measure of legal protection under Florida law, which gives us very few tools, I know too well just how difficult the process can be and how much vulnerability these couples face. The protections we are able to cobble together without marriage pale in comparison to the comprehensive security provided by marriage recognized not just by the federal government but by the State of Florida.”

NCLR Legal Director Shannon Minter added: “The law should support families, not make it harder for committed couples to support one another and protect their children. Barring same-sex couples from marriage causes great harms to their families and children while helping no one.”

About the Plaintiffs Catherina Pareto and Karla Arguello have been together for 14 years. Catherina owns and operates a financial planning firm. Karla is a stay-at-home mother to

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014 their 15-month-old son.

Dr. Juan Carlos Rodriguez and David Price have been together for nearly 18 years. Juan Carlos is a physician specializing in pulmonary medicine. David is the practice manager for Juan Carlos’s medical practice. They have twins, a boy and a girl, who are three years old Said Juan Carlos: “David and I are devoted to our children. We are a family in every way, except that Florida will not allow us to marry. Being a doctor, I see people and families in crisis all the time.

In those situations, family and the legal protections that come with it are critical.

It pains David and me to be denied a basic safety net of legal protections.”

Vanessa and Melanie Alenier have been together for eight years. Vanessa is the assistant general manager of a national trade show and special event service provider. Melanie is an insurance agent. They have a 5-year-old son together.

Said Vanessa: “Melanie and I have worked so hard to build and protect our family, but nothing can come close to matching the protections that marriage provides. Our family is in need of those protections just like other families. We want our son to understand that his family is secure and just as respected as any other family part of our community here in Florida.”

Todd and Jeff Delmay have been together for 11 years. Todd and Jeff own and operate Delmay and Partners, a company that provides housing services for large events. They have one son, who is three years old.

Said Jeff: “Like all parents, making sure that our son is safe and secure is our top priority. Unfortunately, because the State of Florida will not allow us to get married we cannot provide the level of protections that opposite-sex married couples are able to give to their children.

Beyond those critical protections, we want the opportunity to celebrate our love and commitment to one another in a wedding ceremony and have it mean something,

which the state is currently denying us.”

Summer Greene and Pamela Faerber have been together for 25 years. Summer is a real estate agent. Pamela is a portrait artist. Summer and Pamela raised Pamela’s daughter from a prior marriage and now have two grandchildren, ages 10 and 17.

Don Price Johnston and Jorge Isaias Diaz have been in a committed relationship for a year and recently got engaged.

Don is an office manager at a Miami law firm, and Jorge is a paralegal at a Miami law firm.

Said Jorge: “Both Don and I have very strong ties to Florida and cannot imagine getting married anywhere else. If we could marry, we would be legally recognized as a family and have all the same legal protections as others.”

Editorial of the month: Utah marriage equality A January editorial from the editors of the Salt Lake Tribune: Same-sex attraction, far from being unnatural, has been around since the dawn of time, and in recent decades mainstream America has come to accept it as something other than deviant. The American Psychiatric Association has considered homosexuality a normal sexual variation, not a mental disorder, since 1973. The Supreme Court in 2003 made same-sex sexual activity legal in every state, and then last June the court took that step of

saying same-sex couples have a due-process right to marry. Younger people by and large take a more libertarian view of samesex relationships, and that is what has fueled the nation’s shift since Utah passed its ban in 2004.

There are 32 states with laws still in effect banning gay marriage, but only one state has passed such a law since 2006.

Since that time seven state legislatures have passed laws to allow same-sex marriage, and three more states did so through popular vote. Court decisions have struck down the laws in another seven states, including Utah. One of those states is California, where state officials stopped defending their same-sex marriage ban when it became obvious where the future lies. Utah’s ban passed with 66 percent of voters approving it, but it’s a legitimate question whether it would pass today if another election were held. Even the LDS Church has gone from actively participating in the marriage wars to simply explaining its own beliefs and practices.

The tide has turned. It’s time for Utah to turn with it. ■

Way to go 2013 designation number The United Way........... 1135 it benefits the Gay Alliance!

Thank you Glenn Zermeño, LCSW Individual, Couple & Group Psychotherapy LGBTQ Concerns, Youth & Adolescents, HIV/AIDS, Relationships, Dealing with Conflict, Effective Communication, Anxiety, Depression, Body Image, Self-Esteem 25 Canterbury Road, Suite 311 • Rochester, New York 14607 Phone: 917-309-7508 • Email: glenn.zermeno@gmail.com

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Introducing a new feature:

LGBTQ Living

Barbara Satin (left) with a friend at Spirit on Lake in Minneapolis.

This month: LGBTQ senior housing in Philadelphia and Minneapolis

By Susan Jordan Safe and affordable housing for LGBTQ seniors is becoming a major issue, as many aging baby boomers are forced into the closet in rehabs, assisted living, nursing homes and other housing for elders.

Earl Collom wrote on The Advocate on Dec. 27, “A recent visit with a 68-yearold terminally ill client of Visiting Nurse Service of New York Hospice and Palliative Care crystallized this conundrum.

The client, who is gay, had walls and shelves filled with photos he had taken over his lifetime of people, places, friends, and travel.

“On the next visit to discuss end-of-life care, many of the pictures had been taken down. When asked why he removed so many images from his life’s adventures, he simply replied, ‘I didn’t want to offend anyone.’ “…With the number of self-identified LGBT adults age 65 or older expected to double by 2030 — from 1.5 million to 3 million, according to the National Resource Center on LGBT Aging — the time has never been more urgent to discuss this silent challenge…

“LGBT seniors are at a greater risk of disability and mental distress than their heterosexual counterparts, and face many barriers to accessing care, notes The Aging and Health Report: Disparities and Resilience among Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Older Adults, a comprehensive 2011 survey conducted in partnership with Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders and funded by the National Institutes of Health and the National Institute on Aging. More than 20 percent of LGBT older adults surveyed in that report said they had not come out about their sexual orientation or gender identity to their primary physician.”

There are still very few LGBTQfriendly housing complexes for elders.

Triangle Square opened in West Hollywood, Calif., in 2007, and Minneapolis’s Spirit on Lake is discussed below. Projects in Chicago and Philadelphia are slated to open in 2014.

Philadelphia’s senior housing project has run into unexpected problems and lessons learned Mark Segal wrote last fall on The Bilerico Project about the new LGBT-friendly

affordable senior apartments in Philadelphia, the John C. Anderson Apartments (JCAA). The $19.5-million construction project might have gone up in record time with record support from elected officials, community and governmental departments, but in all that rush there was an important lesson that was learned along the way. Segal wrote, “Note […] that word ‘affordable.’

“Getting to this point has been for us a long road that included numerous studies of our community, from which we realized the need for affordable housing for our seniors. But what we were not prepared for was how isolated and in the closet many of those who needed this building really are.

“How many of us can truly say we have knowledge of the financial needs in our community? Better yet, how many of us know people in our community who make less than the average income? Before this project, I can assure you that, while I knew there was a need, I didn’t know the extent of the problems.”

For instance, organizers suddenly discovered an approved applicant who, once approved, had no knowledge on how to move her government-living voucher from where she currently lived (not an LGBTfriendly place) and had no idea whom to contact.

Segal wrote, “We assumed that our residents would have that knowledge.

Here’s what we discovered: LGBT people with limited incomes are not out about their financial hardships to our community, and LGBT people who have not lived within the gayborhood or LGBT ghetto are afraid to contact their social-services representative and out themselves. Some just live where they are no matter the condition or treatment rather than come out, sometimes for fear that a bureaucrat will lecture them or toss them off the program.

“We’ve seen and heard this before, but seniors are taken advantage of, and that includes LGBT seniors. The point is, some LGBT people are afraid to out themselves to non-gay bureaucratic government officials, or out themselves as income-challenged to their own community. Additionally, they feel neither will appreciate their needs since no one has, or the level of understanding has been limited until this point. They have major fears and mistrust.

“Here’s the silver lining: our HIV/ AIDS and health organizations already have that knowledge, and since they are partnering with us, they stepped up to the

plate. We’re on the way to creating that safe and dignified place for our seniors to live, regardless of financial needs.

“This continues to be a pioneering project, but what we have learned thus far is that we need to share this project with the community and tell seniors that not only can they come home, but we can show them the way, by delivering the services they deserve.”

Read more at http://www.bilerico.com/2013/11/entering_the_home_ stretch_on_senior_housing_projec. php#Ucg7r6G9hFKQEcUw.99 Minneapolis: Spirit on Lake In Minneapolis, Barbara Satin, a 79-year-old transgender activist, is described as “the matriarch of Spirit on Lake,” the 46-unit affordable housing complex, although she does not actually live there.

Every unit at Spirit on Lake is occupied, and about three-quarters of the residents are LGBTQ seniors. There are also many Somali families in residence and the two groups seem to be getting along.

Rainbow flags hang from some balconies and a stairwell along one corner of the building displays rainbow-colored windows.

Barbara Satin told The Empty Closet, “You asked about how people feel about living at Spirit on Lake. I can give you the comments I have received and the comments I have heard as people were interviewed locally by media. I don’t live there since I have too much income to qualify for affordable rental.

“Scott, who was one of the first persons in line the day applications were taken for Spirit on Lake, loves his apartment and loves being in an environment which is so supportive and welcoming.

He lives on the fourth floor overlooking busy Lake Street and enjoys the hustle and bustle that he can see and hear from his balcony.

“Lucretia is a former nun and lived in an affordable rental facility in St. Paul with her partner who is now deceased. She felt very threatened in her former home; there was verbal harassment and an atmosphere of tension because people knew that she was a lesbian. She had decided to move when I met her and told her about Spirit on Lake; she used to be a member of our church community and thought the project had died. She applied and was accepted and feels so free of fear and tension. She has become one of the most active members of the residents’ council and involved with most of the activities that take place in the building.

“Harvey is a well known member of the Twin Cities gay community. He used to own a gay bookstore, Brothers Touch, and was an out gay man when it was difficult to do that. He became concerned about what was going to happen to himself when he was too old to continue to live in his home. He heard about Spirit on Lake and decided that it would be a good place to live out his days rather than in a

17 senior community that wouldn’t have the understanding and acceptance of a feisty, outrageous gay man. He relishes his life at Spirit on Lake.”

When asked how the housing project came about, Barbara commented, “This has been a lengthy and challenging rollercoaster ride over EIGHT years to develop this project. It started because Spirit of the Lakes United Church of Christ in Minneapolis, the first GLBT church in a major Christian denomination, decided that it had a valuable piece of real estate on Lake Street and 13th Avenue S. in Minneapolis.

“Developers were knocking on our doors asking us to sell and move to the suburbs. We decided that we owed more than that to the GLBT community and our neighbors. The neighborhood wanted residential rather than more commercial development. They wanted bodies on the street that would patronize the existing Hispanic mercados and Somali businesses that were the heart of the residential community.

“At the urging of myself and other members of GLBT Generations, an organization that had its roots in the church community and was focused on helping GLBT people age with respect and security, the church joined with a local nonprofit developer, PRG, to build an GLBT elder housing cooperative; Spirit of the Lakes congregation would move off of the property while construction took place but would return and purchase the first floor space for our new church.

“We were well underway with our plans and funding when the housing market collapsed. We had 75 percent of the 41 units spoken for but with the decline in housing values many of the potential residents lost the equity in their homes, which was going to be their payment for entry into the coop.

“The project looked doomed but PRG said it could still work and in collaboration with Generations and the Church, the project was restructured as affordable rental. Many of the people who had wanted to live in the cooperative project didn’t have the financial resources to qualify but they still wanted the safety and social environment that was part of the original concept. This became our target market.

“We went back to the funders -including the State of Minnesota, Hennepin County and the City of Minneapolis -- and successfully persuaded them that our new focus was good for the community. The new concept would actually provide 46 units -- rather than the 41 planned in the cooperative model.

Additionally, money was found to provide housing and support services for five units designated for people who had been homeless over the past five years. This social justice thrust added even more meaning to the new project direction.

“By the fall of 2012 we had completed most of the funding work and were ready to begin letting contracts when we were told that there was $150,000 worth

The John C. Anderson Apartments in Philadelphia.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Spirit on Lake, Minneapolis.

of remediation work that had to be done on contaminated soil. That was not in an already constricted budget. The project looked like it was dead since we were facing some decisions deadlines and didn’t have the resources to get over this hurdle.

“That’s when Spirit of the Lakes Church came through in a really big way. Since the beginning of the project, our church building was giving us major problems, but we thought we could weather them until the building was underway and we could move to another site. Then with construction finished we could move into our new church.

“The old building couldn’t wait out the extended development process we were experiencing and we had to find another congregation to worship with. Such a group was Minnehaha United Church of Christ, which was facing substantial financial difficulties and would have to close unless they found another church to connect with. Spirit of the Lakes began worshipping with Minnehaha and over the months together it became evident that the two cultures were a great mix.

The two congregations decided to merge and became Living Table United Church of Christ.

“Now back to the funding crisis for the housing project. When Living Table members heard of the crisis that might mean the end of this community dream, they gathered together and approved a gift to the project of $150,000 from the proceeds of the sale of the old Spirit of the Lakes site. The only obligation the church put on the money was that the building managers establish a residents council so

that there could be a strong sense of community within the project and it would be more than just an apartment complex of individuals living under one roof but not interacting with each other.

“By August of 2013 construction was nearly done and the first occupants moved in on September 1. There was a community open house in October so that public officials, funders and community leaders could see the beautiful new building and meet the residents.”

How should people here in Rochester go about creating LGBTQ senior housing? Barbara said, “I would suggest that anyone looking to do housing for specialized communities find a non-profit partner (as we did with PRG) who can lead you through the labyrinth of regulations that govern housing. One of the most difficult issues to understand is that the Fair Housing Laws will not let you discriminate against -- nor let you discriminate in favor -- of a particular group of people. So doing housing for people in transition is a wonderful goal but you will come smack up against housing law, which says ‘no’.

“We are the second affordable housing project in the nation that is focused on LGBT seniors -- but our residential population is 75 percent GLBT and 25 percent other. Triangle Square in LA is the first such project and they have been around for seven years -- they are 80 percent GLBT and 20 percent other.

“You can discriminate on the basis of age -- but only as long as you have a project that is funded by money that is designated for senior housing only -- that’s difficult to find and getting harder.”

Strengthening access to community living for people with disabilities and older adults

By Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary, Department of Health and Human Services Every person should have a chance to live, work, and thrive as a part of their local community. The Obama administration has worked to create more opportunities for people with disabilities and older adults to access the benefits of community living -- like living in a place of their own choosing with people they care about, having a job, and participating in community life.

At the Department of Health and Human Services, we recognize that Medicaid-funded home and community-based services are a critical part of our efforts to help people with disabilities and older adults live healthy and meaningful lives in the community. That is why I am pleased to share with you final rules that help more eligible Americans have full access to the benefits of community living and receive services in the most integrated setting. The rule clearly defines the qualities of home and community-based settings so that these Medicaid programs can serve as an alternative to institutional care for those who choose them.

The rule will help people like Marisa, a 29-year-old woman who uses a power wheelchair and requires assistance with nearly all her physical needs. Marisa used to rely on her mother to provide this daily care, and her independence in the community was limited. Through Medicaid-funded home and community-based services, Marisa now lives more independently and is able to do things such as volunteering and completing college.

The rule makes clear that home and community-based services should support the person’s choices for participation in the broader community, just as Marisa’s services do. The final rule is a result of robust input from the public and a wide range of stakeholders, states, as well as strong collaboration across multiple federal agencies. I look forward to continuing this successful, collaborative approach as we implement the rule.

As we mark the 15th anniversary of the Supreme Court’s Olmstead decision this year, I am proud of the progress we have made to strengthen the community living opportunities for people with disabilities and older Americans.

For more information about the rule, see http://www.hhs.gov/news/ press/2014pres/01/20140110a.html ■

* * * * *

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

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february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Shoulders to Stand On TM

Shoulders to Stand On: Gay liberation, part 1

By Evelyn Bailey Over the course of this year, Shoulders To Stand On would like to focus on the early roots of “gay liberation” in the Rochester area of Upstate New York.

It is difficult to capture the spirit of Rochester’s earliest pioneers in the pursuit of individual freedom and societal acceptance of diversity. Today Rochester is very different from its pre-Stonewall, pre-revolutionary times. The journey begins at the beginning of time with an unquenchable desire for freedom, acceptance, and a better life for all.

Here in the beginning – thousands of years ago -- were the Native American Upstate NY nations. The first idea of “liberation” comes out of the matriarchal society of the Iroquois (Haudenosaunee), indigenous to Upstate New York.

The Iroquois were (and are) among the most important groups in North American history. They had a matrilineal social structure -- the women owned all property and determined kinship. There were three clans, turtle, bear, and wolf -- each headed by the clan mother, which is still the case today. The Seneca (Onondowaga), however, were like the Huron tribes and had eight clans (the five additional being the crane, snipe, hawk, beaver, and deer). After marriage, a man moved into his wife’s longhouse, and their children became members of her clan.

The Iroquois League was formed prior to any contact with European explorers and settlements. Rather than learning political sophistication from Europeans, Europeans learned about liberation and equality from the Iroquois, and the League, with its elaborate system of checks, balances, and supreme law, influenced the American Articles of Confederation and Constitution.

The Iroquois were farmers and hunters whose leaders were chosen by their women. Founded by the Peacemaker and the Mother of Nations to maintain peace and resolve disputes between its members, the League’s primary law was and is the Kainerekowa, the Great Law of Peace, an oral history that describes the political relationship between the Five Nations [six, in 1722, when the Tuscarora from the Carolinas joined as a sort of “junior member” (O’Brien 1989:18)]. The Law simply states Iroquois should not kill each other.

A long civil war between the nations was ended when the Peacemaker and Mother of Nations brought the warring groups together to bury their weapons under the White Pine, the sacred Tree of Peace.

The League’s organization was prescribed by a written constitution. The council was composed of 50 male sachems known variously as lords, or peace chiefs.

Nominated by the tribal clan mothers

(who had almost complete power in their selection), Iroquois sachemships were usually held for life. Sachems who did not do the right thing, however, were “de-horned” by the clan mothers, who had final say.

In terms of liberation, it is not difficult to make the jump from a matriarchal society in which women had power and were equal to if not more important than men, to Susan B. Anthony who would raise the standard for a woman’s right to vote.

Rochester is saturated with the energy, spirit and overwhelming history of liberation -- women’s rights, civil rights, gay rights – and has deep roots in Native liberation and equality.

Within Native American matriarchal societies, there have always been men and women who were identified in some traditions as “Two-Spirit.” Before the late twentieth century, the term “berdache” was widely used by anthropologists as a generic term to indicate “two-spirit” individuals; however, this term has become considered increasingly outdated and offensive.

Among many North American groups, berdaches represented a gender intermediate between male and female (Calender and Kochems, 1983; Jacobs, 1968).

A berdache is a person who adopts the dress or occupation or behavior (or any combination thereof) of members of the opposite sex, thereby acquiring a distinct gender status. The member of a particular culture “became” a berdache in varying ways, some at a young age and others at a later stage in life, possibly following life as a warrior, “when they were no longer capable of fighting effectively”.

The berdache gender was mostly assumed by males. There were female to male berdaches (“Amazons”) but male to female berdaches seem to have been more common. As many as 113 different tribes recognized the berdache gender for males, and female berdaches were reported in at least 30 tribes. Individual male to female berdaches ran the gamut from occasional crossdressers to people who “lived full time”. There are stories of berdaches who would switch back and forth between male and female. They were accepted and honored but also considered to be somewhat eccentric.

The berdache did not typically adopt all the roles of the opposite sex. The culture of each society in which the berdache was found defined exactly which of the traditional roles of each gender were to be adopted by the berdache. (Davis & Whitten, 1987, p. 84) In some tribes the berdache was expected to behave heterosexually, in others bisexually, homosexually or asexually.

In most Native American cultures berdaches were respected, fully integrated into society, and had a high status. Generally berdaches were associated with good luck; they were considered to be lucky people, not because of their alternate gender but because good things seemed to happen to them. In tribes that had trade and economic activity berdaches were considered to be good in business.

Berdaches were also often associated with shamanism, or contact with the spirit world. Shamans are very common, probably universal, in tribal cultures. They are people who contact or enter the spirit world, usually after going into a trance state, and are involved in healing people, both physically and psychologically.

Not all berdaches were shamans and not all shamans were berdaches, but berdaches were regarded as making especially skilled shamans. This is because they were thought to be skillful at crossing boundaries, gender as well as spiritual. In most cultures around the world that accepted transgenderism, transgender persons were often connected with religion and spirituality and were seen as having a special relationship with ancestral and/or elemen-

tal spirits. Since berdaches knew what it was like to be both a man and a woman, they were also looked to for advice on relationships.

The roots of today’s homosexuality, transgender and other gender identities are deeply rooted in the archetypal images of upstate New York Native American men and women. European settlers would have become aware of this “Two Spirit” culture very early in their explorations.

Whether accepted or not, homosexuality and transgenderism are identifiable from the beginning of Native American history in New York. This history is not necessarily known by current generations influenced by centuries of Christianity. But these roots of tolerance of homosexuality in Upstate NY had a significant impact on our culture.

Gay liberation, as a fact if not a “concept,” was accepted in most Native American cultures. With European influence and the growth of a new nation, gay liberation was placed on the back burner as our more basic needs for survival and growth as a nation took precedence, and as European influence increasingly condemned homosexuality.

However, the seeds were planted in the energy, spirit and life of those homosexual and transgender Native Americans who lived in the Rochester area. These were passed down to future generations of all Americans. We cannot discount the influence of Rochester’s ancient Native American culture on the generations to follow.

The Rochester community has supported and continues to support diversity, inclusion and an openness to difference that nurtures creativity and innovation.

Shoulders to Stand On asks that you take some time to consider these roots of gay liberation, to understand the norm of life they projected for future generations, and to celebrate the stillvibrant Native American culture that has provided both a profound influence on U.S. democracy and a strong foundation for opening the Closet Door! ■

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History Corner A Monthly Newspaper of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, 812 Brown St. at West Main St., Rochester, NY 14611: February, 1974.

GAY ALLIANCE MEETING SCHEDULE SUN 3 FEB: Business Meeting/Gay Town Meeting SUN 10 FEB: How To Be Gay, Gray And Happy. The art of growing older gracefully and making the most of it.

SUN 17 FEB: Child Custody For Gay Parents. Attorney Louis Gould speaks on legal implications for natural, single, and adoptive parents. Joint meeting with Gay Revolution of Women.

SUN 24 FEB: Gay Bingo/Coffee House Prizes, goodies.

ROCHESTER NY GAY GROUPS INCLUDE: GAY ALLIANCE OF THE GENESEE VALLEY (GAGV) meets at 7:30 pm Sundays, 812 Brown Street (rear). Box 4252. Rochester, NY 14611. (716) 4367670.

UNIVERSITY OP ROCHESTER GAY LIBERATION FRONT (GLF), 201 Todd Union, Box 6913, River Campus, Rochester, NY 14627 (716) 2756181. Meetings. Mondays, 7:30 pm as announced In Campus Times.

GAY REVOLUTION OF WOMEN (GRoW) meets several times a month.

Office on 2nd floor, Genesee Co-op, 713 Monroe Ave, is staffed weeknights 7-9pm. Telephone (315) 244-9030. Mall: Box 8594, Thurston Station, Rochester, NY 14627 GAYS FOR POLITICAL ACTION (GPA) PO Box 2823 Rochester, NY 14626 meets Thursdays, 8:30 pm at 812 Brown Street (rear). ■

Celebrating Diversity and Love Rev. Nancy Kasper Celebrant ~ Spiritual Counselor ~ Healer Wedding, Union & Passage Services 315~587~9349 • chante.ishta2012@gmail.com

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Columnists The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet.

Growing Up True Love/Gay Shame

By Eric Bellmann Spike is dead.

Death, inevitable, feared or anticipated, is never welcome. The news could not have come at a worse time, between Christmas and New Year’s. Twenty-one is too brief in human years, rather remarkable for an animal, a cat.

Ritchie called me. Spike was staggering, something wrong with his leg, his balance was off, clearly a neurological problem. Richie said Spike just kind of leaned against the wall as he headed towards his litter box. First there was a consultation with the vet, then shortly after a return visit for euthanasia.

To listen to a dear friend’s howls on the phone is horrible. Gulps turn into uncontrollable sobbing. One must just listen, pay witness and I pity anyone who can not identify with such grief. I’ve cried like that more than once. I understand the pain and I understand there is nothing one can do. Sally cried like that when she phoned to say that Graham, whom I often baby sat, had been put down. Same convulsive sobbing. And she’s a fairly controlled Southern lady. The pain just erupts.

Ritchie, my long time best straight friend, is prone to drama, maybe that’s the glitch that binds us. He went on and on.

His time with Spike was longer than his failed marriage lasting a third of his own life. Spike’s recent birthday was celebrated on Facebook. This was not an inconsequential relationship, this was deep and abiding love and it had come to an end.

There were cats in my childhood home. My mother took possession of them. They provided more consolation than she took from her two children.

There was a cat I rescued after he crawled indoors after a dreadful accident which ultimately rendered him blind in one eye, toothless and minus a third of his tail.

In tribute to his savior, Dr. Bloestine, the veterinarian I took him to, I named him Leon. My mother called him Bippy, after a Disney mouse she liked. I could never win with my mother. Ultimately I conceded she deserved this choice. Her cats were loyal; they returned the love she failed to find elsewhere.

I’ve never had cats as an adult. My glib attitude that I prefer other people’s children and other people’s cats because I can love them for twenty minutes and leave masks a deep fear that I will never be able to endure the loss when death comes. I’m not ready yet and it’s been a long, long time.

So I have an imaginary cat these last few years. She looks a lot like Leon. I change her name often. Sometimes when I am in a mischievous mood I call her Shaquanda. Lately she’s been Dorothy. I imagine her affection lying next to me in bed when I’m done with reading and TV and cannot fall asleep.

The Cinema Theater has a new cat.

They have always had a house cat and the most recent one, Princess, died half a year ago. She wasted away from cancer and in the lobby there was a collection basket for contributions towards her care. Princess’s death was mourned on the LED marquee outside the theater. Very classy.

Princess was a bit of a bitch with a terrible, piercing yowl. She would, as had her

predecessors, wander the theater and it was a contest among the loyal patrons to see who could scoop her up. Once I lost a tug of war with a determined woman who brought along treats to seduce Princess into her lap. I was furious.

The theater took a thoughtful period of time to find a new house cat. Her name is Sue. She is not young. She is hefty and has only one eye and gives, so far, no evidence of any interest in being a lap cat.

She watches from the stairs or curls up in real or feigned sleep. Winning over Sue will be a hard sell, that’s for sure. But the other night as I was leaving the theater Sue was in the box office doorway, perhaps glad to see the annoying patrons depart. She had a rubber band in her mouth. I tugged at it. Sue played with me!

There is always hope.

Well, I did have a cat of my own as a child. I could never coax her into my bed early in the morning when she prowled through my bedroom. I was too young, too naïve to understand she was signing for food. I thought she didn’t like me. But she was my cat and she followed me on my paper route and at least once rode on my shoulders. I treasure those memories.

I loved her.

And can you believe what I named her? Not Desdemona, not Princess Alexandra, nope. This gay child who loved Judy Garland and read Vogue and stared at his face in the mirror thinking how much he looked like the actress Jean Simmons, called his cat.... Kitty. Honey, that’s gay shame.

Email: elbcad@rit.edu

Faith Matters Robin Roberts loosens the grip of black homophobia

By Rev. Irene Monroe While I will continue to argue the African American community doesn’t have a patent on homophobia, it does, however, have a problem

with it.

Black homophobia still has a deadly hold on African American life. And while I would like to say its oppressive grip only impacts lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people of African descent, in truth, black homophobia maims the entire community.

For example, to date more than a quarter of a million African Americans have died of AIDS – both straight and gay.

There are many persistent social and economic factors contributing to the high rates of the epidemic in the African American community – racism, poverty, health care disparity, violence, to name just a few. But the biggest attitudinal factor still contributing to the epidemic and showing no sign of abating is homophobia.

Like many of us who have grown up in communities of African descent, here and abroad, we cannot, however, escape the cultural, personal, interpersonal, and institutional indoctrinations in which homophobia is constructed in our very makeup of being defined as black.

The community’s expression of its intolerance of LGBTI people is easily seen along gender lines. For example, sisters mouth off about us while brothers get both – verbally and physically – violent

with us.

“My son better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a knife and stab [him] to death,” Tracy Morgan, comedian and former actor on NBC’s 30 Rock, told his audience at the Ryman Auditorium in 2011.

When CNN’s Don Lemon came out he told Joy Behar on her HLN show: “In the black community they think you can pray the gay away.”

So, whenever there’s an opportunity to applaud and/or celebrate a person’s – especially a high profile celeb, athlete or mega star – coming out moment, it helps loosen black homophobia’s persistent sharp teeth buried in our collective flesh and hold on the community.

Black high profile celebs’ public coming out events correct and heal, if for only a moment, a community’s irrational and persistent fear, shame, taboo, and ignorance about the wide spectrum of human sexuality even found among people of African descent.

And we had one such moment with one of America’s beloved newscasters.

Good Morning America co-anchor Robin Roberts just recently came out of her “open” closet, using a Facebook post to publicly announce what we all knew.

The Obamas, both Barack and Michelle, congratulated Roberts with Michelle gleefully tweeting: “I am so happy for you and Amber! You continue to make us all proud.”

While many Americans across the country felt the way the Obamas did about Roberts’ admission, some, however, felt a personal congratulation to Roberts coming especially from President Obama was not warranted and highlighted “divisiveness” rather than inclusion.

“That message of inclusion is missing in this country, as demonstrated by the President’s odd decision to make a news event out of a person being gay. Such solicitous affection is creepy and divisive. It’s like gushing over someone with a deformity. Most people don’t want to be patronized; they just want to be treated like everyone else,” Wendy Murphy wrote in a Patriot Ledger op-ed titled “It’s fine to be gay, but is it GREAT?” Murphy, an ex-prosecutor and an adjunct professor at New England Law, is a local legal pundit celeb. She’s also white and heterosexual, and has at least one LGBTI friend or acquaintance (I know this because Murphy told me before we suited up to appear on Boston’s local TV show Greater Boston to discuss her opposing views that perhaps she should have run her op-ed by someone gay before submitting it.)

“If the president and his wife want to use their bully pulpit to influence social norms, they should be congratulating people not because they’re gay, but because they did something meaningful for society, without regard for personal risk or gain. Robin Roberts may well deserve that kind of attention, but we’ll never know because the Obamas were thinking more about politics than humanity when Roberts got a presidential salute,” Murphy continued.

Oddly, Murphy isn’t alone with this view. There were also many gay, bi and trans people who felt similar to Murphy, especially with us now in an era of acceptance of LGBTI people in news broadcasting like CNN’s Anderson Cooper, ABC’s Good Morning America former weather anchor Sam Champion, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and her colleague Thomas Roberts, to name a few.

Murphy, like so many, is befuddled about the president’s brouhaha with Roberts’ coming out disclosure, since he has used his bully pulpit for that very purpose by legislating on behalf of LGBTI civil rights – like repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, and the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, to name a few.

And let’s not forget Roberts got the coveted interview when the White House specifically chose her for President Obama’s May 2012 coming out interview

announcing his unequivocal support for marriage equality.

Roberts has overcome a lot – in 2007, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and in 2012 with myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS), a disease of the bone marrow.

And now black homophobia grips her.

What Murphy and others also miss in their condemnation of the Obamas’ perceived gratuitous applaud of Roberts’ coming out announcement is how the intersectionality of white queer racism, elitism and sexism not only framed the legislations Obama signed on behalf of LGBTI civil rights, but how it also shaped which LGBTI demographic group would most benefit. Consequently, this is another factor feeding and fueling black homophobia that doesn’t exempt Roberts because of her statute or interracial relationship.

Sue O’Connell, a white lesbian and editor and publisher of BayWindows, gets why Roberts’ coming out moment warranted high praise.

In her spot on op-ed titled “The harsh lesson of Robin Roberts’ coming out” O’Connell understands how the intersectionality of not only white queer racism, elitism and sexism play in Roberts difficult struggle to come out, but how the complexities of African American community, religion and culture also make Roberts’ coming out moment an Herculean feat most definitely worthy of personal shout-outs from the Obamas.

“Challenges of class – of race and gender – are deeply entrenched obstacles to living an open life. Each coming out process is unique, yet African Americans face a path entwined with family, religion, racism and more.

“Robin Roberts should be congratulated, again, for her bravery. Let’s not let our growing marriage equality success blind us to the very real challenges many still find to living an open and honest life.”

It’s my hope Murphy not only rereads her op-ed but also takes a look at O’Connell’s.

A Few Bricks Short April Fool!

By David Hull Growing up my parents did not make me a homosexual – so I had to go out and make one for myself!

I do know that when I was single I always thought it was kind of cool that I could cruise anytime I wanted -- regardless of whether I was near water or not. And I was truly a Good Samaritan back then because I was always willing to give another guy a hand.

I’ve always liked my men the way I like my subways – hot, packed and unloading every 30 minutes. I mean, I understood that lust was no substitute for love, but it sure beat the heck out of learning how to crochet.

I was raised right; I would never hurt someone’s feelings by saying something hurtful to their face. I do the right thing and talk about them when they leave the room.

My father always told me that motivated risk takers often fail. Of course, the same thing is true for idiotic fools. I’ve never been quite sure which group I fall into.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a Lexus than on a bicycle.

I was at a psychic fair one time and a woman walked up to me and told me that she was a medium. I told her that I used to be a medium when I was younger, but now I’m an XL. And why do you never read the newspaper headline “Psychic Wins Lottery?”

I leave my car, which is worth a few thousand dollars, out in the driveway, while my husband fills up the garage with junk.

Why do drive-up ATMs have Braille lettering?

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet Do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Alcohol will never solve any of your problems; then again, neither will milk.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial lemon flavoring, but dishwashing detergent is made with real lemons?

Why do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front counter?

Are you annoyed by immigrants? Tell it to a Native American.

Let’s face facts, people. Democrats are sexy. Whoever heard of a nice piece of elephant?

The born-again-Christians always get mad at me when I ask them: “After the Rapture, can I have your car?”

I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time recognizing the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Contact David at davidhull59@aol.com

Cleaning My Closet Affectations

By Meredith Elizabeth Reiniger I am in love.

I love felines and flowers, butter and birds, streams and sugar, peanut butter and puddles, violets and Vegas, and watermelon rind pickles.

Oh love. Oh cupid, February’s cherubic hunter, why hast thou led me to prostrate my piteous self before my beloved watermelon pickle. I am driven to pen a love note: Dearest, most beauteous WP. I will write oodles of odes to you, my love, my juicy, tantalizing, moist, green lover.

Your luscious red edges call my name. You are the most succulent pickle I have ever loved. Happy Valentine’s Day, my precious pickle.

Bah humbug. Romantic love is worse than the flu. Indeed, the very word irritates me. Love: a state of befuddlement.

Love: a four-letter time bomb. Perhaps Godiva, jewelers, some humans, and all dogs think otherwise. But I have only to listen to lyrics and peruse poetry to know its scourge. Hmm, it must be February again… another month needing me to rant against another festival I do not love.

Which makes the 2014 GAGV Red Ball the perfect theme for the likes of me.

Because steampunk is about returning to the past or leaping to the future, about life in a science fiction world or a post apocalypse earth. More about costuming than coupling.

When my artist friend mentioned the theme, I told her: Steampunk! I never heard of it. “Of course you haven’t,” she swiftly observed. Well, Google will save the day, I lovingly snapped. Into Wikipedia and beyond I went. I was astounded by the wide range of activities, beliefs, art, books, music, machines, costumes and accouterments in the layered history and vast worlds of steampunk.

Steampunk is a counter culture that wonderfully accommodates our Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender, Intersexual, Queer, Questioning, TwoSpirit, Allies, What’s-It-To-You realities. Simply fabulous. Our Steampunk ball invites us to come out and play. To bring a friend and a persona.

The fun part for me is that Steampunk offers no-boundaries dress-up… mix and match for the brave… a bit of horse lovin’, gun totin’ lesbian, a morsel of Victorian Hussy, a smidgen of sci-fi bold broad, a rag of renegade, a scrap of survivor, a chip of techno-temptress. (Not that LGBTI events are ever mainstream couture.)

A dance. A ball. Oh my stars! So little time. So few practicing Fairy Godmothers. So many options.

Well, I might like to be a Wild West cowpoke. In kindergarten I had my cowgirl debut. I loved my brand spankin’ new Annie Oakley outfit. Behind my fringed vest, I puffed out my flat, baby chest. Around the room I strutted my

stuff, swished my little girl butt to make my skirt’s plastic fringe whisper. Pranced proudly. Until… during ‘roll out your little rug and take a little nap’ …that snottynosed boy-beast grabbed my fringe and wrenched off handfuls. His name is Percy, and I still hate him.

Ok, so maybe I should not wear a costume dragging such traumatic baggage.

Although I do like that butchy, leather look. Anyway, for this gala, I need something other than the cowlesbian totalbody-covered-up costuming.

Let me ponder. I have always loved a touch of flesh and fluff. Loved, at age 30, my festive gold, shape-tight knit, navelexhibiting pants and a teeny nearly-bikini top. Also I love a dash of flash. Ah, fond memories of my 1972 gleaming hot pink, skin-tight pants with décolletage top… both loosely held together with tempting black laces.

Whoa, back to reality, Miss Thing.

Those once-upon-a-time body-revealing fashion statements were forty oh-mercyme years ago. Okay, OK, I get it… none of that peek-a-boo or LOOK apparel for this ball. Yes, oh-dear-goddess, yes, I clearly understand that I now inhabit this seventy-year-old conglomeration of shabby, saggy, worn and torn, body parts. I wonder if the Steampunk catalogues carry brass-studded Muumuus.

Better riffle through for other options.

Hmm, outer underwear. Unmentionables as unashamedly visible wear are nothing new. I expect there were cave hussies who abandoned their bear pelt onesies to flaunt their squirrel-skin dainties. For sure we full-time and part-time hussies have been showing off for eons.

I fondly recall that I did my Underwear Come Out long ago. Searching antique stores, I had discovered an amazing pair of to-the-knee lace-trimmed white cotton, Convenience Pants. Called that because they conveniently had no front-to-back middle seam. The material merely overlapped, allowing a lady to use the commode without the bother of virtual disrobing. Furthermore, Convenience Pants permitted a real lady to oblige her husband’s marital privilege while preserving her propriety even between the sheets.

No flashing of that sort for me. I was more sedate in 1984. I sewed the gaping drawers securely closed and wore those altered pants with an antique camisole and black stockings. White leather, kneehigh, laced boots. Black hat with a huge red rose. Now that was a statement.

If I still have that decades old outfit in my closet, out it will come and I will be ready to create Steampunk sassy.

Set: strap on a corset; suffer a waist cincher; snap on wrist cuffs; swing some chains bearing fancy gold keys; tightly secure brass gears, bug pins, and antique pocket watches.

Go…and swish my sultry self into Steampunk swirling.

Embracing, for some unfathomable reason, my forever love, sweet Watermelon Pickle.

MeredithElizabethReiniger@gmail.com

Conundrums Here’s My Ten Point Plan for a Better America

By Ove Overmyer In January of every year, lawmakers, corporations, civic groups, lobbyists and activists create game plans or “agendas” to redefine their mission statements if you will. This year is no different. In fact, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has already delivered his vision for the upcoming legislative session—with mixed results I might add.

While it’s true that I do belong to many organizations, including taking an oath of office with my union (CSEA), I have my own personal agenda for what I think might be the right path to shared

prosperity for all Americans. If you know me at all, this will not come to you as a surprise— the biggest issue facing our country today is income inequality and the devastating role that poverty plays in our communities.

As soon as most folks hear the word “poverty,” certain beliefs and prejudices automatically kick in. On the political right, the word conjures notions of bad choices and personal failings – and sometimes, racial makeup. On the left, people think more of hard circumstances beyond one’s control and the lack of opportunity.

Whatever our politics, if we stay the present course it’s less likely that we will be able to think of poverty as something that affects just the few. If you haven’t noticed folks, the middle class is shrinking very fast. No functioning democracy can survive without a strong middle class with living wage jobs—we need everyday consumers who have purchase power to buy goods and services to keep our economy moving in the right direction.

Here is my ten point equality focus for a pro-middle class anti-poverty agenda: ONE: EQUALITY AND CIVIL RIGHTS Congress must pass ENDA this year and protect the civil and human rights of our global community. Moreover, we must advocate protecting United States voting rights such as access to voting, in the many places where such rights are under attack. The U.S. Department of Justice should validate all same sex marriages in the United States. These families should not be held to a higher standard by enduring prolonged discrimination and paying higher taxes.

TWO: WORKER RIGHTS Restore the rights of all working people with respect to collective bargaining, due process and protections from wage theft.

THR EE: AU S T E R I TY DOESN’T WORK All Americans must understand that austerity policies do not work, and only

23 exacerbate our country’s economic woes.

Federal, state and local governments must not starve municipal budgets.

FOUR: CREATE A FAIR TAX STRUCTURE We all need to be telling a new and meaningful story about paying taxes that celebrates the concrete opportunity it offers “we the people.” The problem is, without the public systems and structures that taxes pay for, the America we know and love would cease to exist.

Let me be clear — according to most economists, there is no correlation between giving tax breaks to wealthy corporations and job growth. Do you hear me Governor Cuomo? Make the rich pay their fair share by ending unfair tax breaks. A functioning democracy should be designed to have a progressive tax structure that is in proportion to the means and ability to pay for the essential vital services we demand and cannot do by ourselves as individuals.

FIVE: BEEF UP SOCIAL SAFETY NETS Expand and broaden Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, as so eloquently explained by Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

SIX: SINGLE PAYER HEALTHCARE Protect people from going hopelessly into debt through the high price of receiving healthcare and medical services. The ACA has failed to put a tight lid on potential total medical costs. Eventually, we must join the civilized world with single payer healthcare.

SEVEN: EDUCATE ALL OUR KIDS Increase federal and state aid to statesupported education. It’s absurd that poor and middle class families have to go into debt just to pay for an education. The economic disparity between rich school districts and poor school districts should be marginalized.

EIGHT: STRENGTHEN FEDERAL REGULATIONS Strengthen federal regulations so irre-

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24 sponsible companies and banks do not rob ordinary tax-paying Americans and destroy the land, water and air we need.

NINE: HELP THE UNEMPLOYED PERMANENTLY Create posterity bill language to extend federal benefits permanently for the long term unemployed. Why does Congress do this every three months?

This is called unemployment insurance for a reason. The only people who are eligible for unemployment insurance have met the working criteria earlier in the working life. And, let’s remember the lesson learned in the Great Depression: when the private sector can’t come up with jobs, the government must fill the void by assisting those out of work and creating jobs with them in mind.

TEN: SUPPORT THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN Protect the workplace, healthcare and reproductive rights of women.

That’s all I need to say here.

Trans*missions Personal Subjective Experiences

By Laine DeLaney I was visiting Rochester during 2012 Pride when the first “The Good, the Bad, and the Funny” event was held. It was an open mic event held at Equal Grounds, conceived of by Shauna O’Toole, as a way to give a segment of our community that does not often have much voice an opportunity to stand up and speak their minds in a public forum.

When I attended the first event, I wasn’t ready to speak at all. I really, really wanted to, but given that I was not yet out as transgender and hadn’t done the last necessary steps of soul-searching needed

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014 to confirm my feelings and speak out about them, I felt like I would be a fraud if I did get up on stage. I made a promise to myself that next time there was such an event, I would.

This past November of 2013, at the end of the week of mourning for the loss of many members of the worldwide Trans* community to hatred, Shauna held the event again, and I got up and spoke.

Following is an abbreviated version of my message, which I think is vital to share: I’m here to talk about personal subjective experiences. You see, when I was born, I had a female symbol hanging over my head. No one else could see it, and no one believed it when I told them.

They told me that I was wrong, or crazy, or thought that I was joking, so I learned not to talk about it. This was a personal subjective experience for me: no one but I am able to verify it, and there is no way to take a picture of the rainbow female symbol that is even now bobbing above my head.

That, as I see it, is one of the things that all the colors in the LGBT rainbow have in common: we are all describing personal, subjective experiences that are nonetheless very real to us. There is no gayometer I can stick in someone’s head to tell how gay they are. I’ve known people who have been in heterosexual relationships for years who later came out as gay; their prior relationships had no bearing on their actual sexual orientation. Anyone can learn to play a role.

Every once in a while we discover a physical, medical correlation to sexual orientation or gender identity. While this is useful, it’s also important to remember that our orientations and identities are not things that can, in the end, be empirically externally verified. Trans* people are quite familiar with having to justify our experiences to professionals whose understanding of our condition is entirely external.

Likewise, I’ve had plenty of bi-andpansexual friends who have described

having to fight against external categorization. If they consistently date someone of the “opposite” sex (or the same sex) they are labeled as straight or gay and in denial.

All of these qualities are best identified internally. Other people may occasionally say, “Gee, Laine, you act like you have a female symbol hovering over your head,” but no one really sees it besides me.

Another person’s inability to perceive it, however, makes it no less real.

The basis of the LGBT rainbow is formed around experiences that are personal and subjective. It’s important to keep that in mind; your experiences are just as subjective as mine, but that makes them no less real to me or to you. Recognizing this and embracing and respecting it is, I feel, the most important element in maintaining a stable, safe community that we can all thrive in.

What’s Bothering Brandon?

NSFP: Not Suitable for Progress

By Brandon W. Brooks I’ll admit it; I often waste hours scrolling through my newsfeed, on a not-so-obscure social media site.

And here I am about to give you a written tirade on why we as LGBT persons are not making a strong enough effort to win the proverbial fight. Here goes nothing.

During these aimless and idle scrolls, I am often confronted with links to articles, photo spreads, and videos labeled NSFW. NSFW is a means of alerting potential viewers that the material is “not suitable for work.”

What makes something unsuitable for a work environment, one might wonder (risking a blush in the process)? This label is added as a disclaimer, indicating that pornographic or sexually suggestive material, vulgar and common language, or even illegal drug use may be present in the aforementioned article, video or photo spread. It is a means by which one is spared the embarrassment of a future computer audit, where this material may prove troublesome for the user.

So why am I seeing this NSFW label on material that professes to be “fighting the good fight” for the LGBT population? Is this label being placed on LGBTrelated material simply because of the fact that it concerns LGBT persons (who are, of course, innately sexually inappropriate)? This was my first thought, and I was infuriated. How could someone get away with labeling anything LGBTrelated as NSFW, and more importantly, how could I personally give them a piece of my mind?

The idea that there was some unknowingly-heteronormative twerp out there labeling anything LGBT as NSFW pissed me off. My ire, however, was quickly extinguished, only to be rekindled when I found out that the authors of these links were in fact gay people.

These articles do, to be fair, contain some minute expressions of civil unrest; same-sex marriage is the most often cited (more than not the only cited) example of what we as LGBT persons are fighting for. What bothers me is that nudity, illegal drug use, and foul language are not required to get one’s point across. In fact,

I think the NSFW label (which I would agree is necessary for most of these rather questionable “articles”) might actually be deterring some potential allies.

People see these articles during their workday, with their catchy titles, and may be genuinely curious or sympathetic to our cause. However, NSFW stops them dead in their tracks; no one wants to get in trouble at work for dubious computer activity.

So how exactly is including material that is not suitable for work helping our fight for civil rights, I would like to know? Sure, I imagine it brings in the youth demographic which is clearly lacking these days in effort and participation.

But how a video showcasing the anatomy of a twerking bear-daddy in rubber and leather aids in this struggle for equality, is quite beyond me.

Why not at least parody or tear apart a famous artist’s homophobic “work” in a scathing essay, or make an honest and educated response to institutionalized heteronormativity in our school system?

Responses like these, I hope, would draw in more allies or at least reach the eyes and ears of more conservative individuals, who I assume would be all but comatose if they dared click on a link with the NSFW disclaimer.

I must say, I myself avoid these NSFW links not only to spare myself the embarrassment of a computer audit, but also because I find myself getting upset by their lack of a clear equality-seeking message. If you want equality, you have to fight for it, and shaking your hairy ass (however attractive it may be) is not helping.

Our fight for equality can, at times, be a balancing act between appeasing the uneducated masses by watering-down our LGBT heritage, while at the same time making certain our LGBT heritage is not lost, but rather strengthened, in the process. One does not need to become Miley Cyrus to demonstrate our vigilance or determination to gain equality, nor does one need to don the habit of a nun. In the words of the Dowager Countess, “Never substitute wit with vulgarity.”

Forgive me for reinforcing benevolent stereotypes, but aren’t gay people above these vain and puerile attempts of attention-seeking? Clearly attention is wanted (and indeed garnered) by the authors of these racy videos, but possibly for the wrong reasons, or at least with the wrong outcome. I doubt very much that a politician on the fence about LGBT equality would be suddenly swayed in our direction after witnessing the gyrating pelvic thrusts of an Andrew Christian model (or maybe he would be, who knows).

All I can say is that we as LGBT persons need to make a more honest and less sexually explicit attempt in reaching a larger audience in our struggle for equal rights and representation. The stereotype that gay men in particular are promiscuous and purely sexually driven is not exactly being disproved by these articles and, I feel, will only act to build up our barriers.

At the end of the day, it is our own personal choice whether or not to click on these NSFW links. I just ask you to ponder this last thought while doing so; is it suitable for progress?

Questions, comments or critique? Feel free to e-mail the author at: brandonb@ gayalliance.org ■

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Community Find the friends, fun, and common interests you’re looking for through the various groups listed here.

Butch Femme Connection The Rochester Butch Femme Connection supper club will have one event in February 2014.

On Saturday, Feb. 22, we will meet at Jay’s Diner on Rte. 15 (West Henrietta Rd.) at 7 p.m.

For further information, please call Kerry/Max at (585) 288-7208.

Dignity-Integrity D-I Rochester meets weekly at 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., corner of Broad St. We have the following services and activities for the month of February 2014.

1st Sunday: Episcopal Mass/Healing Service, with music.

2nd Sunday: Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music.

3rd Sunday: Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel.

4th Sunday: Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner!

Our Potluck theme for February is “Brinner: Breakfast for Dinner”. We had this theme earlier in 2013 and had a great meal so we decided to repeat ourselves.

No time to cook or shop? Just ask a friend or two and join us for food and fun!

News from the Pews: Our 7th Annual Christmas Hymn Sing was terrific! If you missed it this year (or previous years), look for details next November. You won’t want to miss it again!

The February Winter Cabin Party is on Saturday, Feb. 15, from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. in Brighton. This is a great way to chase the chill away… warm fireplace, warm food, lots of laughter. Bring a dish to share and a favorite game if you wish.

Catch up with folks you haven’t seen in a while or meet new friends.

You can call the Hotline at 585-2345092 or check our website at www.dirochester.org/ for updates on services and activities.

EMPIRE BEARS January’s over. February’s here, Spring is just around the corner. Yahoo!

If you’re a camper, Jones Pond, Hillside, and others start taking reservations.

The BEARS are enjoying cuddle time inside, but we do get out to walk at the mall, bowl, have dinner with friends, and catch movies at The Cinema.

Make your reservations for Drenched Fur in Erie. It’s steamy at the water park.

Members keep in touch, and impromptu

events happen all the time.

Becky, our favorite waitress and den mom, has taken a break from work, so we are trying out a new restaurant every Wednesday night for supper. The BEARS recommend the Merchant Pasta House on Merchant for a great meal.

In February, the BEARS have a potluck on the 8th up in the 5th floor GAGV meeting room. Starts at 6 p.m.

ROMANS ROMANS celebrated the most wonderful time of the year with a naked party at a member’s home.

Good food, fine drinks, engaging games, festive decorations, interesting conversation and, in addition, a relaxing soak in the hot tub; everyone had a fabulous time. The voting for president, treasurer and secretary took place at this meeting and members also brought cans of soup to contribute to a food pantry in Rochester.

Early in December, some ROMANS members networked with the Syracuse Naked Men members to rekindle our comradeship. Our members also went to enjoy the performance of the Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus’ holiday performance.

At the January meeting that took place at a new member’s home, ROMANS members made plans on the nude and clothed club activities for 2014.

There are two nude swims scheduled for February: 2/1 mixed swim at Harro East and 2/22 Men Only swim at Vassar Street.

ROMANS is a social club for gay and gay-friendly male nudists over 21. All ROMANS activities are listed on our website at http://www.wnyromans.com. Write to us at wnyromans@ yahoo.com or call our inquiry line at 585281-4964. Naked hugs and Happy Nude Year!

Rochester Trans Group is now Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Our November meeting was an emotional one as JoAnne Metzler discussed her recent hospitalization and her decision to create an overarching goal for our group: a plan to create a home for Trans* and LGB people who have nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to.

For the time being, the project is being called the Welcome Home, and JoAnne has set about collecting funds towards the

purchase of a house for this project. Any members of the community who might be able to offer donations, help, or professional advice would be greatly appreciated!

Also at our November meeting, JoAnne proposed changing the name of the group from “Rochester Trans Group” to “Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester” (based on the suggestion made by Gabrielle Hermosa to add the word “Alliance” to the group’s name, and Laine DeLaney’s column describing the use of the asterisk and its significance to the Trans* community from November’s Empty Closet).

The decision was largely supported by members in attendance, and the name change was made! This was followed by a good deal of discussion about alterations and updates to the website and Facebook group.

The December meeting was primarily a support meeting and had a general discussion facilitated by JC, one of our Steering Group members. It was quite well-attended. It was also our first meeting under the new name of Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester.

Of special note was that members of RochesterNYGrrlz, a local crossdressing group, came to support us and discuss the creation of a crossdresser-specific support and meetup group for those in their community who are not interested in meeting in a bar-type environment. We had several new faces and stories, and some great refreshments including a delicious Subway mini sub tray (provided by JC).

In February we will have Raquel Acevedo-Pagan coming to our meeting! Raquel has extensive experience in helping people express themselves through artwork and art therapy, and is looking forward to helping us find ways to express those feelings that we just cannot find the words for – a common experience in our community. Bring whatever art supplies you can, but it’s fine if you don’t bring anything – supplies will be provided! We are looking forward to seeing you there!

We meet in the Gay Alliance’s office

25 (the Nopper conference room) on the fifth floor in the Auditorium Theatre, 875 E Main St. on the last Saturday of each month between 3 – 5:30 p.m. Parking is available in the back of the theatre off Prince St. and College Ave. Note: if there is a guard at the booth, just say you’re here for the Gay Alliance and they have instructions to let you in without paying the parking fee. Once in the door, walk down the hall to the main lobby, turn right and the elevator will be right there; on the fifth floor just follow the signs to the meeting.

Also if you’re coming by bus get off at the Prince St. stop, walk up the sidewalk to the first set of doors (they have the number 875 in large letters over them). Once you’re in the lobby head toward the elevator and go up to the 5th floor and follow the signs.

Our website is: www.rnytg.org or on Facebook at: https://www.facebook. com/RochesterTransGroup.

The Social Grind A new social group is coming to Rochester starting Feb. 4, 2014! The group, The Social Grind, is open to all members of the LGBT community.

The idea came from lifelong Rochesterian David Hutchinson, with the belief that our community needs different ways to meet people in a casual, drama free setting.

“Not everyone is interested in going to a bar and the internet can be so impersonal and I believe people need more options.”

The group will meet on Tuesday mornings from 10 a.m.-12 noon at Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. and Thursday evenings from 7:30-9:30 p.m. at Spot Coffee, 200 East Ave. Attendees are required to purchase their own beverages/snacks at the venue sites.

For additional information or to express an interest in attending, please email David at DHutch457@aol.com. Please put Social Grind in your email header. ■

26

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

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february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Arts & Entertainment ist, Dr. Emma Brookner is based on the late Dr. Linda Laubenstein, one of the first doctors to treat patients with HIV, and the other characters are based on the friends Kramer started Gay Men’s Health Crisis with.

“You start getting so much information in bits and pieces,” Coughlin said, “and I’m anticipating that all this will gel in rehearsal. The word I’m trying to imprint on the actors is PASSION. Not only to end the epidemic but also unexpectedly falling in love for real.

“The other word is FIGHT – because that’s what it takes to get a subject like this out into the community, the country and the world.”

He added, “The most interesting thing about the JCC production is that people of various ages will see it and there will be a sense of retrospective knowledge. After 25 years you have a

Brian Coughlin. Photo: Susan Jordan

JCC presents Larry Kramer’s “The Normal Heart”

By Susan Jordan On March 8, the 2012 Tony Award-Winner for Best Revival of a Play, The Normal Heart by Larry Kramer, will hit the JCC stage in connection with LGBT Health Month, complete with community-wide partnerships and panel discussions.

The Normal Heart is Kramer’s famous play about the early years of the AIDS epidemic, when Ronald Reagan’s spokesman laughed at the first press conference about the mysterious disease and dismissed the deaths of gay men as unimportant, and right-wingers claimed that God was punishing the evil homosexuals. And, as the play makes clear, many gay men, even as their friends and lovers died, were conflicted and angry about coming out, taking risks, getting “political” and making the rapidly-growing epidemic an issue with oblivious government and health authorities.

The Empty Closet spoke with director Brian Coughlin about the JCC production, which will run for three weekends of eight performances, with a panel discussion after several performances.

Brian Coughlin said, “When Ralph Meranto first asked me about doing the play, I had done a reading a number of years back, and at that time I didn’t wind up doing the research that I’m doing now that I’m the director. I don’t claim to be an authority, but I’m compiling vast amounts of literature and interviews about the people who were in the forefront when all of this started coming down.

“I’m sharing this history with the cast, so they can sink their teeth into what they need to be showing the audience. One wonderful thing about our actors here in Rochester is they are all professionals. The cast I have is wonderful and they have already

started doing their own research, starting with the auditions in November and the first readthrough in December. I’ve told them I’m amassing a lot of data.

At the first rehearsal on Jan. 19, I’m sure they’ll be well prepared.

“It gives me so much joy to find people asking the right questions! That’s a great plus for me as a director, to see that dedication and commitment. I’ve tried to impress upon them that we have a huge responsibility with this play because AIDS is still ongoing and we need continued awareness – it’s not going away.”

The cast includes Steven Cena as Ned Weeks, Kerry Young as Dr. Emma Brookner, Carl DelBuono as Felix, and Peter J. Doyle as Hiram Keebler, aide to NYC Mayor Koch, allegedly a closeted gay man himself, who just did not want to know.

When asked whether a lot of young people don’t know about those early years, and even older people have forgotten what it was like, Brian Coughlin said, “Watching interviews with Larry Kramer, one of the things he feels very passionate about is that there is a whole culture of gay men who are unaware of the history. As hard as it is, I’m finding it fascinating to see where it all started and the implications of gays coming out, the sense of pride in who they were – and when they started to come out they would become identified with their sexuality. Kramer became so vocal and angry and said, ‘you can’t continue to do this’ (casual sex) ‘now – we have to take responsibility’.

“Doctors and others who were really in the know came to him and said, ‘you gay men have to stop this rampant sexuality, bath houses, etc.,’ – and Kramer passed that on and a lot of men didn’t want to hear that, just as they were affirming their sexuality.”

Coughlin said that all the characters are based on real people Kramer knew – he himself is Ned Weeks the angry activ-

“Boeing Boeing” is on stage at Blackfriars Theatre Take a trip back to the 1960s with Blackfriars Theatre’s production of Marc Camoletti’s hilarious play, Boeing Boeing.

Swinging bachelor Bernard couldn’t be happier: a flat in Paris and three gorgeous stewardesses all engaged to him without knowing about each other.

But Bernard’s perfect life gets bumpy when his friend Robert comes to stay and a new and speedier Boeing jet throws off all of his careful planning. Soon all three stewardesses are in town simultaneously, timid Robert is forgetting which lies to tell to whom, and catastrophe looms.

Blackfriars Artistic Director and the play’s director John Hal-

27 new set of eyes on an old subject, which is still relevant. It sheds a light for all of us on what our responsibilities are.

“Kramer said that when he was thrown out of the organization he had helped create, Gay Men’s Health Crisis, he was devastated. He went to Europe and decided to visit Dachau. There he saw a sign – ‘Opened in 1933.’

He realized that the concentration camps went on for 12 years before anyone knew. There was this whole silence. Then he knew he had to write this play.

“Now we’re doing the play at the Jewish Community Center, and the parallels between the Holocaust and The Normal Heart are interesting.

“I’m so pleased to be doing this show. When I read the play, I thought of the responsibility we have to make sure that we educate, not just entertain.

There’s a lot of humor, but when the audience leaves they may leave with an awareness they didn’t have coming in.

“I’m immersed in that period – finding out about the author and the ancillary characters who

move the play toward its conclusion. The gay community now recognizes that they were the ones who brought and continue to bring the awareness needed to make changes and get the drugs and treatment. You read about the protests and ACT UP demonstrations that followed the early years, and it is no longer words on a page. It becomes a living, breathing production showing real people who are not statistics – but who loved and cared and fought and were passionate about life. That goes out from the actors to the audience.”

Coughlin concluded, “Another thing that’s really important as I continue to immerse myself is that there’s a new generation of people in the heterosexual community who have more and more gay friends and there’s more acceptance and understanding – all coming from the early ‘80s when Kramer started pushing for visibility and awareness. There’s more understanding and compassion today and that’s what presenting this show at JCC is all about.” ■

doupis says, “Boeing Boeing is that perfect after holiday pickme-up. It soars with non-stop hilarity and is a fast paced romp that’s the perfect solution to Rochester’s grey winter skies.”

The cast features some of Rochester’s finest talent including Jake Holliday Purcell as bachelor Bernard, Jason Mincer as his sidekick Robert, Kerry Young as the housekeeper Berthe, Janine Mercandetti as the Italian stewardess Gabriella, Brynn Kathryn Tyszka as the German stewardess Gretchen and Kait Meleski as the American stewardess Gloria.

Boeing Boeing will take flight at Blackfriars Theatre, 795 East Main St., running through Feb. 8. Performances are Thursday, Feb. 6 at 7:30 p.m.; Friday, Feb. 7 at 8 p.m.; Saturdays, Feb. 1 and 8 at 8 p.m., and Sunday,

Feb. 2 at 2 pm.

Tickets are $28.50-$36.50 and available in person at Blackfriars Theatre, online at www. blackfriars.org, or by calling 585-454-1260. If available, tickets can be purchased at the door beginning one-hour prior to performance. Box Office hours are Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., and Saturdays, noon to 4 p.m. MasterCard, Visa, and Discover are accepted at no additional charge.

Blackfriars Theatre, a professional, not-for-profit theatre on Rochester’s “Theatre Row,” is located at 795 East Main St. Parking is available on site. Handicapped seating is available. For more information regarding Blackfriars Theatre, visit their website at www.blackfriars.org. ■

Jake Purcell, Janine Mercandetti Brynn Kathryn Tyszka, and Kait Meleski. Photo by Dan Howell

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Charles Barksdale

Charles Barksdale plays “a silly guy” in Sister Act

By Susan Jordan Sister Act will be at the Auditorium Theatre Feb. 11-16.

Tickets are available from Ticketmaster.com and the RBTL box office, 800-745-3000.

Charles Barksdale (TJ) is a Texas native and says he is “super stoked to make his national tour debut with the best nuns in the business!” His credits include Off-Broadway: Fat Camp; Regional: Fat Camp (Cleveland Playhouse Square), Ain’t Misbehavin’ (San Antonio Off Broadway Productions); Regional Tour: Don Giovanni (San Antonio Opera). As well as being a performer, he is a director, musical director, choreographer and voice teacher.

So what can audiences expect? “FUN FUN FUN!” Charles said. “This show is a good time for sure. While there are a lot of religious jokes in the show, don’t worry if you are not Catholic. It is a fun time for all.

You can expect to laugh, be visually stimulated (by my beauty) and dance in the aisles in the end. Besides, who doesn’t like to see Dancing Nuns?”

He commented on his role as TJ, “TJ is ridiculous. He’s a silly guy who likes to laugh... A LOT, and is a bit of a jokester.

TJ always has something else going on in his head yet he is very simple and just does what he’s told... mostly.”

Like most actors, Charles worked hard to learn his craft.

He commented, “Oh man. In middle school I did one play, but I didn’t act in it. I played my viola downstage left the whole show. In High School I went to a Performing Arts Magnet Academy and that is when I decided it was time to come out of the pit and that stage performance was for me. I’m from San Antonio and male so honestly it wasn’t too difficult for me to get jobs there. I have been very lucky in my professional career so far and haven’t had to struggle too much (I hope this continues) but I did hustle a lot to be good at a lot of things so it would be easier to be cast in lots of things.”

Does he see himself as actor, dancer, singer, director, or choreographer – or all equally?

“Actually, pretty much all equally,” he said. “I like to keep busy and I also consider myself a teacher and songwriter as well.

I feel it is important if I have all of these things as my title I have to be just as strong in each hat

I wear.”

When asked which performers who have inspired him the most, Charles said, “Good question. I wouldn’t say there are any specific performers I feel like have truly inspired me, but I find myself always blown away when I discover new talents. The first time I saw White Christmas I was obsessed with Vera Ellen but I also loved Brandy in Cinderella. Sandra Bullock always makes me love her more and more and I can’t go wrong with Jason Alexander. New up and coming singers like Jeremy Jordan and Natalie Weiss really rock my world but I find myself in awe listening to Anna Netrebko or watching the latest from Tyce Diorio. I pull inspiration from everywhere, even doing #SplitsOnTrees and YouTube has a lot to do with that.

I think it’s just good to be good and true to your art and let our beautiful planet inspire you.”

He concludes, “Come on down and see us and have a good time watching lots of sequins, and if you happen to see us out at a bar don’t be afraid to buy me a drink or two!”

American music + American mayhem = American Idiots!

Welcome to a new kind of cabaret Method Machine presents “St. Jimmy’s Cabaret,” featuring the cast of Green Day’s American Idiot, to benefit the young artists of Rochester’s DVC. On Thursday, Feb. 27, join the cast of Green Day’s American Idiot for a one-night-only, highenergy cabaret performance hosted by Rochester’s own METHOD MACHINE. Following their tour stop at the Auditorium Theatre, the company will put on another show to benefit young artists.

Proceeds from this special event will benefit DVC, Dream/Visualize/Create, a collection of talented students and graduates of Wilson Magnet High School.

Tickets are $30 for VIP tickets (including special seating and swag bags as well as signed posters), $20 for Adults, and $10 for Students/Seniors. The evening will begin at 10:30 p.m. at RAPA, 727 E Main St. For tickets, call (585) 3253366 or visit www.RAPA.org; For more information, go to www.METHODMACHINE. org.

DVC (Dream/Visualize/ Create) celebrates its 13th year

of bringing thought-provoking, challenging productions to audiences. In keeping with the club’s mission to perform meaningful, socially-conscious theatre, DVC has performed shows such as Stop Kiss, The Shadow Box, No Exit, and a double bill of The Trojan Women and Necessary Targets, and club-developed original projects such as Something to Believe In, Reinvented: A Dracula-Inspired Goth Rock Musical and JUNK: the Musical.

The company operates from ticket proceeds and donor assistance, and is entirely volunteer-run. In order to provide affordable, enlightening theatre, DVC tickets never exceed $5; the group performs at Wilson Magnet High School as well as MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave. Method Machine’s David Henderson says, “The video hits from our SPRING IT ON cabaret in 2010 have reached over 100K on YouTube. The videos are posted by fans and cast members of the tour AND include a young and unknown Andy Mientus (star of ABC’s SMASH!).

“The Spring Awakening and American Idiot cabarets are a result of a long time friendship I have with the Broadway director Michael Mayer. We met at Powerhouse Summer Theater on a play called SideMan, with Edie Falco. Mayer has been a huge influence in my life for the last 18 years and I would not be the artist I am today without his guidance and support.”

Ellen wins People’s Choice again: “I think I’m doing something right”

By Greg Hernandez on gaystarnews.com; Photo: Twitter The people have spoken and they love Ellen DeGeneres -they really love her.

The stand-up comic who became a sitcom star, then one of the most successful talk show hosts of all time, won a record 14th People’s Choice Award in Los Angeles on 8 January.

“As a young girl growing up in New Orleans, if anyone would have told me I was going to win 14 People’s Choice Awards, I ... I mean 12, yes. Thirteen? Maybe.

But 14?” DeGeneres joked as she accepted her award.

She told the audience she wanted The Ellen DeGeneres Show, now in its 11th year, to be a show for everyone -- old, young, black, white, gay or straight.

“As a matter of fact, just yesterday I was talking to this lovely African-American woman and she told me she was single and she works 80 hours a week to get by and she looked forward to coming home every night and watching me, and that woman’s name is Oprah Winfrey. I think I am doing something right.”

DeGeneres beat out Kelly Ripa & Michael Strahan, Dr. Phil McGraw, Rachael Ray and Steve Harvey for her latest win.

Her first People’s Choice Award came in 1995 when she was starring in the ABC sitcom Ellen.

“There’s no better thing than knowing you are making people happy,” DeGeneres said.

Another LGBTI winner was Glee star Chris Colfer who won the award for Favorite TV Comedy Actor. He prevailed in what was the gayest category of the night since his competition included three other openly gay TV stars: Jesse Tyler Ferguson of Modern Family, Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory and Neil Patrick Harris of How I Met Your Mother. The fifth nominee was Darren Criss who is straight but who plays a gay character on Glee.

Go to PeoplesChoice.com to see full list of nominees and winners.

- See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/ ellen-degeneres-wins-record14th-peoples-choice-award-andsays-i-think-i-am-doing-something-#sthash.FnJIj9Rg.dpuf

Final Tales of the City is out: Maupin “invented San Francisco” The Days Of Anna Madrigal, the ninth and final installment of Armistead Maupin’s legendary Tales Of The City series, was published last month.

The Guardian heaped praise upon Maupin. An excerpt: Quentin Crisp once introduced him with the boast: “This

Ellen Degeneres. Photo from Twitter

is Mr Maupin. He invented San Francisco.” More importantly, Maupin virtually invented the mainstreaming of gay life and helped the world see that “the gay experience” was nothing lesser or greater than human experience.

Maupin came to a realization of his homosexuality relatively late. He was 30 when he came out, the same year he began writing. Taking stock of himself the way he would one of his characters, he once observed: “He had kept his heart (and his libido) under wraps for most of his life, only to discover that the thing he feared the most had actually become a source of great comfort and inspiration.”

At the time he began writing, he saw gay fiction as both bleak and myopic. This was an era when Truman Capote still equated his homosexuality with his alcoholism and a climate in which Gore Vidal could claim: “There were homosexual acts, but not homosexual people.”

Maupin, however, had discovered a joyful fraternity and welcoming community in the bath houses and nightclubs of the city and decided, as he put it, to “[allow] a little air into the situation by actually placing gay people in the context of the world at large”.

Lily Tomlin, Jane Wagner marry after 42 years together

By Greg Hernandez on gaystarnews.com Photo courtesy of Freedom to Marry No one could accuse Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner of rushing into anything.

The Emmy winning couple, already together 42 years, got married on New Year’s Eve. Tomlin, 75, is a comedy icon and star of stage and screen.

Wagner, 78, is the author of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, The Incredible Shrinking Woman and other Tomlin vehicles.

The wedding, reported by columnist Liz Smith, does not come as a complete surprise since Tomlin said last August the couple was considering it.

Tomlin had said she never thought getting married would be an option for her. But the US Supreme Court’s ruling in June that resulted in the end of California’s marriage ban got her and Wagner thinking about making things legal.

“You don’t really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice,” Tomlin told E! Online.

“Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very very happy about it.”

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner. Photo: Freedom to Marry

Tomlin and Wagner cowrote six comedy television specials in which Tomlin starred.

They also co-wrote and produced the Grammy Award-winning album, Edith Ann: And That’s the Truth, and Grammy-nominated albums Modern Scream and On Stage.

- See more at: http://www. gaystarnews.com/article/ after-42-years-together-lilytomlin-and-jane-wagnerget-married060114#sthash.

J0FoB50D.dpuf

MuCCC announces New Play Festival The MuCCC Theater has announced its inaugural New Play Festival, featuring world premieres of works from local playwrights. All plays are scriptin-hand performances, and are followed by post-show talkbacks with the authors.

Tickets for all shows are available at www.MuCCC. org; $8/advance, $10/door (per show). MUCCC is located 142 Atlantic Ave. The schedule is: “Still We Wait” by Truc Doan, Wednesday, Feb. 5 at 7:30 p.m. Directed by Mario Savastano. Five passengers on an alien spaceship bound for a new world find that they can’t quite leave the old one behind. Running Time: 45 minutes. Rated PG-13 for language. Performance followed by a post-show talkback with the author.

“Professor Pomfret’s Recognition Scene” by Shirley Ricker, Thursday, Feb. 6 at 7:30 p.m.

Directed by Shirley Ricker. A class’s adaptation of an ancient Roman comedy launches a Classics professor and a student into a chance encounter — and into the real-life recognition of something both have in some way rejected. Assisted by Hermes, Olympian trickster and meddler par excellence, professor and student must play their roles.

But does Hermes’ meddling lead to the truth or to just another trick? Running Time: 60 minutes. Rated PG-13 for a lesbian relationship. Performance followed a post-show talkback with the author.

“The Weekends” by Katherine Royal. Friday, Feb. 7 at 7:30 p.m. Directed by Melyssa Hall.

A developing comedy about what it means to be a millennial.

Jacob, Stephanie, and Alicia are three childhood friends attempting to reconcile their roles as a

part of the “me me me” generation while grappling with relationships, sexuality, and what exactly is expected of them as they exit college and enter the “real world.” You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll blush... you probably won’t cry. Running Time: 90 minutes. Not recommended for audiences under 18. Performance followed by a post-show talkback with the author “The Cell” by Maria Brandt.

Saturday, Feb. 8th at 7:30 p.m.

Directed by Stephanie Siuda.

Lisa and Harry launch an affair while following the trail of a twenty-year-old environmental crime. In the process, they both must decide whether or not it’s possible to let go of the past and — even more important — to change the future. Running Time: 60 minutes. Rated PG-13 for some adult language and suggested sexual content. Performance followed by a post-show

talkback with the author.

Three Short Plays by Manuel Igrejas. Sunday, Feb. 9 at 2 p.m.

Directed by Peter Fekete. “Pittsburgh!” — “If you are standing on a chair with a noose around your neck, please slip off the noose and get off the chair. Sit in the chair and wait for the next available counselor who is just around the bend.”

“Lisbon” — Lisbon, 1755. An earthquake has leveled the city. Two women, one young and hungry, the other older and wealthy emerge from the rubble of a church, with a dead duck and attempt to make their way in the great ruined city. “Aria for Duane Reade” — She had a headache. She needed aspirin. There was a Duane Reade.

Somehow, inside the huge store, she lost herself, disappeared and found herself again. Running Time (combined): 50 minutes.

Performance followed by a postshow talkback with the author The MuCCC New Play Festival is coordinated by New Play Facilitator and Artist in Residence Spencer Christiano. For more information, email spencer@spencerchristiano.com.

29 a much larger global movement.

Presented by Pride Toronto, WorldPride 2014 Toronto will be the world’s largest international LGBTQ festival to date, and the first WorldPride in North America. It is a 10-day international celebration, taking place June 20–29, incorporating activism, education, and the history and culture of global LGBTQ communities -- and all just a few hours’ drive from Rochester.

“We’re looking forward to presenting the most diverse festival yet,” says TK, Arts & Culture Manager for WorldPride 2014 Toronto. “Our aim is to present the best LGBTQ artists that Canada and the world have to offer alongside international celebrity artists, as well as share

the stories of artists from all over the globe with our communities.

“Affiliate Events Program comprises events organized and produced by community groups and external organizations and support the diversity initiatives of our community and we encourage groups to hold events with an international focus.”

“WorldPride is an international LGBT event; bigger than Canada has seen before,” says Chrystal Dean, WorldPride 2014 Toronto Manager.

“We want to make sure the LGBTQ communities and artists from around the world have every chance to take part and benefit from this unique opportunity.” ■

Travel

WorldPride 2014 Toronto will connect with global LGBTQ movement WorldPride 2014 Toronto has launched its new website, introducing a new WorldPride video at www.worldpridetoronto.com. The 10-day event is coming up in June.

Toronto WorldPride organizers feel that, as the movement for LGBTQ human rights continues to grow, so do Pride events around the world and the need for a global event connected to

Laverne Cox on the Katie Couric show.

Trans model, actress talk about issues on Katie Couric show: Trans people are more than our genitalia Trans model Carmen Carrera and Orange is the New Black actress Laverne Cox appeared on Katie Couric’s show on Jan. 7 and offered Katie some guidance on gender identity, advising Couric to steer away from a fixation on “private parts” to that of identity and humanity.

Carrera pointed out that in interviews with trans people, interviews “always focus on either the transition or the genitalia” and “there’s more to trans people than just that.”

Cox joined the interview later and pointed out the disproportionate discrimination and violence that trans people face, adding, “By focusing on bodies we don’t focus on the lived realities of that oppression and that discrimination.”

Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/#ixzz2pofWWewb

The Wentworth by the Sea Hotel and Spa (Marriott) in New Castle.

New Castle’s elegant hotel

By Merle Exit Another great road trip, as Laurie and I depart from Queens with a destination of Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

First, we pass through Portsmouth and over a bridge to the city of New Castle, the only town in NH composed entirely of islands. We can see a huge building on the hill, Wentworth by the Sea Hotel and Spa, an historic hotel presently operated under the Marriott Hotel brand. www.wentworth.com The lunchtime arrival brought us just down the hill to one of their restaurants, Latitudes Waterfront.

Although you can eat indoors, the weather was perfect for short sleeves and on the deck for a scenic view of the marina.

When at the sea, have seafood. Crisp Local Crab Cake, served with a casaba melon salsa, ginger and citrus aioli and micro herbs for a start. I couldn’t resist having the Coastal Maine Lobster Cobb Salad. A good portion of fresh lobster meat, smoked bacon, spring dug potatoes, avocado, tomatoes, grilled Vidalia onions, goat cheese and field greens. Now that’s the way to begin a trip in New England.

Along with spacious rooms with breathtaking views, the hotel has an indoor and outdoor pool, golf course privilege via the Wentworth Country Club, tennis court as well as a Spa and Wellness Center. I indulged in a 50-minute Reiki Energy Massage that totally relaxed my body and wound up taking a catnap before dinner at SALT, the

hotel’s signature restaurant.

There are four areas to this fine dining eatery. Enter to view the bar and lounge area that connects to a chef’s bar. You can choose to sit at this bar and watch your food being prepared.

Why salt? There are menu items where the protein is served on a block of salt. I’ll get to that later.

The main restaurant actually has two areas; the closer being less “formal” and where breakfast is served (I had a lobster omelet) either off the menu or buffet.

This leads into the more formal dining room. There is also a private glass enclosed room where the wines are kept.

We opted for “fine dining” in which the food was served “French style”. That means that each guest’s plate was placed at the same time requiring as many servers to do so. I think that they also call it “Presidential style”.

Cuisine is farm to table with world influences. Prosciutto wrapped Maine scallops with an oregano salad and lemon honey was the starter, followed by wood oven Baked Oysters with creamed spinach Pernod, farmers style bacon and Fontina cheese; and Northeast Family Farms Beef Carpaccio served on a Salt Block, with orange and espresso crust, gorgonzola cream, Pepper Cress and Crispy Capers.

A short road trip around New Castle -- stopping will bring you to Fort Constitution State Park overlooking the Piscataqua River and the Atlantic Ocean.

The Portsmouth Harbor Light, a working lighthouse, is located on the premises. It’s a tour on your own venue.

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Gay alliance news for february 2014

the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Where Have We Been?

Ever wonder where the Gay Alliance Education Program presents? Below is a list of the places we have been in 2013, and the ways the Gay Alliance may have influenced your life in the past year.

Ever consider becoming a trained volunteer member of the Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau?

Call or email Jeanne for more information (585-244-8640 or JeanneG@gayalliance.org).

Adrianne Chesser leading the Ride for Pride. Photo by Owen.

Gay Alliance Volunteer of the Month: Adrianne Chesser Congratulations to Adrianne Chesser for being chosen as the Gay Alliance Volunteer-of-theMonth for February! As an MD/ PhD student at the University of Rochester School of Medicine, she is extremely busy with both classes and research, but she makes the time to help support the LGBTQ community.

Adrianne came on the scene in 2011 as a Ride For Pride biker. She has ridden in the last three bike ride fundraisers, pedaling a total of 175 miles and raising a total of over $1,500 for the Gay Alliance!

In October of 2012, Adrianne interviewed, trained and became a weekly Gay Alliance Youth Program volunteer. I asked Kelly Clark, former Intergenerational Program Direc-

tor, to share any comments she might have about Adrianne and this is what she had to say: “Adrianne Chesser is a gem!

She brings a joyous and calming spirit into the center each week.

She created one of the most successful youth programs of the year! Our Medical Careers series was the Youth Program’s contribution to March’s LGBT Health Month programming here in Rochester.

“Adrianne developed the four-week workshop series to introduce teens to medical careers. She talked with her colleagues at UR Medical Center and found enough panel participants for not one, but two panels. Panelists ranged from oncologists to nursing students at MCC. There were two par-

ticipants who did medical billing and a pathology technician who worked his way up to head of his department. The series culminated with an amazing visit to URMC where teens were able to practice life saving techniques on one of their state-of-the-art medical mannequins. They also practiced casting a broken bone.

“Not only did the teen participants learn a lot, it was the first time many of the panelists had worked with the Gay Alliance. They had such a positive experience. They couldn’t wait to volunteer again!”

We are so grateful to have Adrianne as a part of our volunteer team. On behalf of the Gay Alliance staff and board, we thank you for all of your hours, your commitment and your support. ■

Gay Alliance Youth (Ages 13-20) Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main Street, Rochester 14605

Youth

Gay Alliance Youth Program The Gay Alliance Youth program empowers today’s teens to meet today’s challenges!

It provides a safe space to explore their identity, make friends, build community, gain life skills, become a leader and have fun!

Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group (Ages 13-20) Thursdays, 5:30-6:30pm Gay Alliance Library (1st floor, off Prince St. lobby) 875 E. Main Street For more information: dawnb@gayalliance.org The Gay Alliance 875 E. Main Street, Fifth Floor (Auditorium Theater) Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: 585 244-8640

AIDS Clinic at University of Rochester Medical Center Alfred University Americorps Cabrillo College California Center For Youth Services Child Psychiatry of Western New York City of Rochester’s Project Search Coalition of Black Trade Unionists Statewide Conference Color Run at RIT Coordinated Care Services, Inc Corning Community College Corning, Inc. Dayton VA Medical Center DePaul’s National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence Dignity-Integrity East House Eastman School of Music Evelyn Brandon Chemical Dependency Family Health Fair and Expo First Unitarian Church First Unitarian Society of Ithaca Geva Theater Greater Rochester Collaborative MSW Program HCR Home Care Human Resource Association of the Twin Tiers Jewish Community Center Leadership Genesee Program McArdle Ramerman Mental Health Association Mental Health Coalition Millbrook School in Albany Monroe #1 BOCES Monroe Community College (Damon City) Monroe Community College (Henrietta) Montessori Academy at the Dr. Freddie Thomas Learning Center Nazareth College New York State Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services Northeast LGBT Conference NY State Recreation & Parks Society Annual Conference Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church Real World Geneseo Program Rochester Central School District Support Center Rochester Kink Society Rochester Red Cross Rochester Rehab/Ventures PROS Rochester Rehabilitation/ OneSource Solutions Rochester Trans Group

Rochester VA Out Patient Clinic Rose and Joseph Denaro Interfaith Center Rush Henrietta High School St. John Fisher College Strong Memorial Hospital SUNY Brockport SUNY Oswego TEDX Talk Rochester Transgender Healthcare Conference Trillium Health University of Rochester (Main Campus) University of Rochester (Medical School) Webster Thomas High School Webster-Schroeder High School - Alternative Ed Program Wegmans School of Pharmacy at St. John Fisher College ■

Youth Youth Update: “Zombie Prom” is May 3

By Dawn Balsis December and January have been exciting months for The Gay Alliance Youth Program’s Fabulous Fridays.

Our youth participated in talk back sessions after performances of Bare, presented by RAPA. We were able to get out into the community to check out Artisan Works and Equal Grounds Café. We were thrilled to have Christopher and Jevan from MOCHA at Fabulous Friday. They created and played STI Jeopardy with the youth. It was a lot of fun in addition to being educational.

We also watched the movie But I’m a Cheerleader. January 20-24 was No Name Calling Week. In honor of that we streamed a movie about bullying called Straightlaced.

Fabulous Friday continued their work to help homeless LGBTQ Jamaican youth by collecting clothing and bedding.

If you are interested in joining Fabulous Friday, we meet from 7 p.m.-9 p.m. at 707 E. Main St., Rochester (at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, behind the RAPA parking lot).

All youth ages 13-20 are welcome. Weekly updates on what we are up to can be found on our Facebook page.

The most exciting news is The Big Gay Prom. It is scheduled for May 3 this year and will be held at the Diplomat Party House. The theme will be “’80s Zombie Prom”. We are looking for youth who are interested in helping out with planning. If you are interested please attend Fabulous Fridays. ■

The Gay Alliance is a non-profit agency, dedicated to cultivating a healthy, inclusive environment where Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) people are safe, thriving, and enjoying equal rights. We are a coalition of individuals and groups working to empower LGBTQ people to affirm their identities and create an atmosphere where the diversity of our community can thrive both collectively and separately. We educate and advocate for civil rights for all and for the eradication of homophobia.

The Gay Alliance, 875 East Main Street, Rochester, New York 14605 Phone: (585) 244-8640 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Website: www.gayalliance.org E-mail: Info@gayalliance.org Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Board President: David Zona Board Vice President: Jessica Muratore Acting Executive Director: Scott Fearing Education Director: Jeanne Gainsburg Database: Kat Wiggall Youth Intern: Dawn Balsis Bookkeeper: Christopher Hennelly The Empty Closet: Editor: Susan Jordan Graphic Designer: Jim Anderson E-mail: susanj@gayalliance.org Phone: (585) 244-9030 Fax: (585) 244-8246 Advertising: (585) 244-9030

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Gay alliance news for february 2014

n o

D

GAR

The Gay Alliance On-Line Resource Directory (GARD) The online community tool providing local, statewide and national resources, 24/7 at: www.GayAlliance.org

Gay Alliance Speaking Engagements & Tabling for December 2013 & January 2014 12/2..............Sharing Our Stories at the Gay Alliance 12/4..............Who’s Who Panel at Corning Community College 12/6..............LGBTQ Substance Abuse Issues at Evelyn Brandon Chemical Dependency 12/7..............LGBTQ Agency Leadership at Executive Leadership Program at St. John Fisher College 12/10............LGBTQ Substance Abuse Issues at DePaul’s National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence 12/11............SafeZone Training at East House 1/13..............LGBTQ Youth and Parenting Issues at Hillside Children’s Center 1/14..............SafeZone Train-the-Trainer Certification Program at Golden West College, California 1/16..............LGBTQ 101 for two health classes at Marion High School 1/21..............LGBTQ Youth Issues at Respite Program at Villa of Hope 1/22..............Transgender Issues in Healthcare at Genesee Valley Nurses Association 1/23..............LGBTQ 101 at Nazareth College Human Behavior Class 1/26..............Sexual Health Panel at First Unitarian Church of Rochester 1/27..............LGBTQ Panel at St. John Fisher College Quotes from evaluations following our Dec/Jan presentations: • “Stereotypes-Ignore Them! Awesome.”

• “I learned about asking clients their pronoun preference.”

• “I think that I definitely pre-judged all of the participants and was very surprised at the results. This was very enjoyable.”

• “Made what can be an uncomfortable presentation quite comfortable.”

Library & Archives Winter SpeakOUT Training

Hours: Every Monday & Wednesday: 6-8pm 875 E. Main Street, (off Prince St. lobby) First Floor, 585-244-8640

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SAGE calendar February 2014

FEBRUARY 2 3pm. No euchre: Euchre cancelled until further notice.

FEBRUARY 4

10:30 Yoga, 11:30 lunch potluck; bring a dish to share. 12:30 Game Day

Bring in your game and show us how to play it.

FEBRUARY 6

10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch. Bring brown bag and beverage.

1pm: Teaching Seniors: How to get up and down safely. Cards.

FEBRUARY 11

10:30 Yoga. 11:30 Lunch. Bring brown bag and beverage.

1pm: Speaker Mari Gean Goodman from Catholic Family Services to

speak on Expanded In-Home Services.

FEBRUARY 13

10:30 Yoga, 11:30 Lunch – bring brown bag and beverage.

1pm arts & crafting .

FEBRUARY 18

10:30 Yoga, 11:30 $. Lunch soup, salad, dessert & beverage.

1pm: Movie Day. If you have a movie you would like to share, bring it in.

$. Popcorn and beverages.

FEBRUARY 20

10:30 Yoga. 11:30 Leaving Center for lunch at Fox’s Deli 3450 Winton

Place, Rochester, NY 14623. Please rsvp by feb. 18 at Center or call 585-857-9428.

FEBRUARY 28

10:30 Yoga, 11:30 leave Center to go to Lifespan Downtown Center,

25 Franklin St. 14604.

FEBRUARY 27

10:30 Yoga, 11:30 lunch – bring brown bag and beverage. Birthday

party, cake and beverages. Show and tell.

Please note: Programs are subject to change without notice. Go to rainbowsage@gayalliance.org. then go to events and click on SAGE events.

Look for that day if changes or cancellations should be updated. It is also your responsibility to drive or carpool to any of our out-of-center programming.

OUT AND ABOUT WITH RAINBOW SAGE: The group takes a yoga lesson from Tom Somerville. Photo: Audet Price.

The Gay Alliance would like to invite you to participate in our Winter SpeakOUT Training: Providing Successful LGBTQ Education The Gay Alliance SpeakOUT Training prepares participants to educate others on LGBTQ issues in a respectful way, to successfully advocate for LGBTQ individuals and to address challenges to full LGBTQ inclusion.

SpeakOUT participants become more confident and articulate while talking with others about LGBTQ issues. This is a great experience for someone new to LGBTQ issues or someone who has lived or worked with the issues for years. Think of it as professional development for your life. This training is also the first step in becoming trained as a Gay Alliance Speakers Bureau member.

Facilitators: Jeanne Gainsburg, Gay Alliance Education Director and Scott Fearing, Gay Alliance Executive Director, draw upon their 30+ years of LGBTQ training and education experience to facilitate the class. A dynamic mix of interactive exercises and lecture make for a fast-paced, intense and valuable learning experience.

The SpeakOUT Training will run on Friday, February 21 from 6-9pm and on Saturday, February 22 from 8:30am-5pm and is $60 per person. It will be held at HCR Homecare (85 Metro Park, Rochester, NY 14623).

We only offer this training twice a year and it fills fast, so don’t wait! To register, go to: http://www.gayalliance. org/speakout.html. To ask questions or find out about paying through an invoice to your school, please contact: SpeakOUT@gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 ext. 20. *ASL interpretation available if requested by Feb 10. .

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

Resources Check our monthly and ongoing calendar as well as the community section for more groups and events. For further information, call the Gay Alliance at 244-8640 or visit: www.gayalliance.org. Gay Alliance Youth Group info: pages 30-31.

BISEXUALITY resources

AMBI Los Angeles; American Institute of Bisexuality (Journal of Bisexuality); Bay Area Bisexual Network; Bi Café; Bi Definition: Milwaukee; BiNet USA; Bisexual Organizing Project (BOP); Biversity Boston; Boston Bisexual Women’s Network; ComBIne - Columbus, Ohio; Dallas/ Fort Worth Bi Net; Fenway Health’s Bi Health Program; Los Angeles Bi Task Force; New York Area Bisexual Network; Robyn Ochs’s site; Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network; The Bi Writers Association; The Bisexual Resource Center (email brc@biresource.net)

CULTURAL

Rochester Women’s Community Chorus 234-4441. (See Ongoing calendar).

Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus www.thergmc.org

deaf services

Advocacy for Abused Deaf Victims Mailing address: c/o ASADV, P.O. Box 20023, Rochester, NY 14602. 24-Hour Hotline: ASADVhope@gmail.com; VP: 866-936-8976; TTY/ FAX : 585-232-2854.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) Meets second Saturdays, 6-9pm. For location, information: rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Spectrum LGBTIQ & Straight Alliance RIT/NTID student group. <SpectrumComment@groups.facebook.com

Elders

Gay Alliance Rainbow Sage Many monthly get togethers, some at Open Arms MCC 707 E. Main St. 875-9428; SAGE@gayalliance.org

family

CNY Fertility Center Integrative Fertility Care. Support meetings, webinars, workshops. Information: cbriel@cnyfertility.com; www.cnyhealingarts.com Rochester Gay Moms’ Group Support group for lesbian mommies and wannabe mommies in Rochester and surrounding areas. Subscribe: RochesterGayMoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Lesbian & Gay Family Building Project Headquartered in Binghamton and with a presence throughout Upstate NY, the Project is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Claudia Stallman, Project Director, 124 Front St., Binghamton, NY 13905; 607-7244308; e-mail: LesGayFamBldg@aol.com. Web: www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) PFLAG’s threefold mission: supporting parents and family members in coming out process; educating the community; advocating on behalf of LGBT family members. PFLAG@gagv.us; 585-244-8640 x27.

Adoptive Parent Support Group Monthly potluck lunches. For information, location, call Shari, 350-2529.

Angel Food Ministry Box of fresh/frozen food for $30 in advance.

Menu changes monthly. For information and distribution sites, call 585 861-4815.

HIV/AIDS Free testing for HIV exposure is available from New York State Department of Health: call Rochester Area Regional Hotline at (585) 423-8081, or 1 800 962-5063 for pay phones or calls outside Rochester. Deaf or hearing impaired people should call (585) 4238120 (TDD.) New Rapid HIV Testing now available in 30-40 minutes! Statewide information can be obtained by calling 1 800 541-AIDS. Other organizations which provide AIDS-related services are as follows:

Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org. 1 West Main St., Suite 500 Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income HIV positive clients. No criminal cases. Appointments are scheduled at area medical provider locations or by calling 295-5708.

Trillium Health Trillium Health is the leading provider of HIV/ AIDS services in Rochester and the Finger Lakes. On-site services include HIV testing and limited STD screenings, Primary and HIV Specialty Medical Care, Pharmacy, and many more.

Satellite offices in Geneva and Bath. Trillium Health is also a leader in providing services and education to members of the LGBT community.

Contact Information: Website: www.trilliumhealthny.org. Main Office: 259 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14607; Main Phone: 585-5457200, Health Services After Hours: 585-2583363; Case Management After Hours (Lifeline): 585-275-5151; Fax: 585-244-6456. Finger Lakes Office: 605 W. Washington St., Geneva, NY 14456, 315-781-6303. Southern Tier Office: 122 Liberty St. Box 624, Bath, NY 14810 607-776-9166. The Health Outreach Project: 416 Central Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; 585-454-5556.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Referrals to physicians and service agencies.

(585) 244-8640; www.gayalliance.org.

Victory Alliance University of Rochester Medical Center. One of several research sites worldwide that comprise the HIV Vaccine Trials Network. Rochester site conducts research vaccine studies sponsored

by National Institutes of Health (NIH). 585-7562329; www.vaccineunit.org.

Threshold At The Community Place, 145 Parsells Ave., third floor, 585-454-7530. Provides confidential HIV, STD testing and General Health Care, ages 12-25. Sliding fee scale, no one denied, most insurances accepted. Mon., Wed., Fri. 9am-5pm; Tues., Thurs., 9am-7pm; Sat. 10am-2pm. www.ThresholdCenter.org Center for Health and Behavioral Training of Monroe County 853 Main St., Rochester 14611. Collaboration of Monroe County Health Department and U.R. Provides year-round training in prevention and management of STDs, HIV, TB and related issues, such as domestic violence and case management. (585)753-5382 v/tty.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1 866 600-6886. Offers confidential HIV testing and information. When you make your appointment, be sure to ask about our sliding scale fees. No one is turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Rochester Area Task Force on AIDS A collection of agencies providing a multiplicity of resources and services to the upstate New York community. Their offices are located through the Finger Lakes Health Systems Agency, which also provides medical literature and newspaper clippings, as well as demographic and statistical data for use in developing health care services. (585) 461-3520.

The MOCHA Center of Rochester Our mission is to improve health and wellness in communities of color. Youth drop-in center, HIV testing, peer education, support groups, computer lab, referral services and more. 107 Liberty Pole Way (corner of Pleasant). (585) 420-1400.

Monroe County Health Department at 855 W. Main St., offers testing and counseling for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. (585) 753-5481.

Strong Memorial Hospital provides a complete range of HIV medical care, including access to experimental treatment protocols, and HIV testing. Also provides individual and group psychotherapy. Training of health care professionals also available. Infectious Disease Clinic, (585) 275-0526. Department of Psychiatry, (585) 275-3379. AIDS Training Project, (585) 275-5693.

Planned Parenthood of Rochester and Genesee Valley Offers testing and information (585) 546 2595.

Rural HIV testing Anonymous and confidential, in Allegany, Livingston, Ontario, Schuyler, Seneca, Steuben, Wayne or Yates Counties, call 1 800 962-5063.

Action Front Center (Action for a Better Community.) Provides HIV prevention education and case management services. Training and technical assistance to service providers. Resource library open to public. All services free and confidential. Multicultural and bilingual staff. 33 Chestnut St., second floor. Hours 8:30-5pm, Monday-Friday.

262-4330; fax 262-4572. Free anonymous HIV testing on walk-in basis, Tuesdays, Wednesdays 1-4pm, provided through NYSDOH. Thursdays 1-4pm at Aenon Baptist Church, 175 Genesee St. Anthony L. Jordan Health Center, Prevention and Primary Care.

Provides Medical Case Management, Mental Health, Primary Care, HIV Counseling and Testing (using rapid testing) Hepatitis C rapid testing and services, Educational Presentations, and access to other Jordan Services. Prevention and Primary Care is a walk-in program; no appointment necessary. Office Hours are Monday thru Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information call (585) 423-2872; fax (585) 423-2876. Website www.jordanhealth.org. For more information, call the Program Manager Charlie Lytle,(585) 423-2872.

CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline 1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) 24 hours a day. TTY service: 1-888-232-6348. E-mail address: cdcinfo@cdc.gov.

Fair Housing Enforcement Project of Monroe County 585-325-2500; 1-800-669-9777. Deals with housing discrimination on basis of race, orientation, HIV status, etc.

Public Interest Law Office of Rochester 80 St. Paul St., Suite 701. Free legal services to HIV positive persons, families. Spanish bilingual advocates available. All civil cases except divorce; no criminal cases. Ask to speak to someone in PILOR. 454-4060.

Evergreen Health Services, Buffalo Primary care, HIV and family care, HIV testing and counseling. (716) 847-0328 Westside Health Services Brown Square Health Center, 175 Lyell Ave. (254-6480); Woodward health Center, 480 Genesee St. (436-3040). HIV/AIDS services, support, more.

McCree McCuller Wellness Center at Unity Health’s Connection Clinic (585) 368-3200, 89 Genesee St., Bishop Kearney Bldg., 3rd floor. Full range of services, regardless of ability to pay. Caring, confidential and convenient.

Catholic Charities AIDS Services A multicultural and bi-lingual staff providing services to a diversity of people infected and affected with HIV. Coordinates HOPWA (Housing Opportunities for People with AIDS) short term emergency assistance with rent/mortgage/utility payments and limited subsidized housing. 1945 E. Ridge Rd., Suite 24, Rochester NY 14622. (585) 339-9800.

Huther Doyle 360 East Ave., Rochester 14604. Offers drug, alcohol prevention, education, treatment. Risk Reduction Plus Team offers services to HIV positive and those at risk through substance use. Programs include outreach, transitional case management, free cconfidential testing (OraQuick Rapid Testing). NYS Dep’t. of Health offers free on-site confidential and anonymous testing. (585)325-5100, M-F 8am-9pm, www. hutherdoyle.com.

Geneva Community Health 601 W. Washington St., Geneva. Provides HIV testing, HIV specialty and primary care for residents of Ontario and surrounding counties.

Mon.-Thurs. 9am-5pm; Fridays 9am-noon.

315-781-8448.

lgbt health

For a list of LGBT-friendly and competent health and human service providers in the Rochester and Finger Lakes area, visit the resource directory page(s) at www.everybodysgood.com.

Trillium Health See www.trilliumhealthny.org

HCR Home Care

We provide a full multidisciplinary team consisting of nursing, social work, physical, occupational, and speech therapies as well as home health aides who have completed the eight-hour cultural competency program provided by the Gay Alliance. For more information, contact us at 585-272-1930 or visit us online at HCRhealth.com.

Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley See www.gayalliance.org Resource Directory under “Health” for Gay Alliance referrals to physicians and service agencies.

CNY Depression Bi-Polar Support The Depression Bi-Polar Support Alliance of Central New York Support Group Adult Group meets the third Thursday of every month from 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. at SAGE Upstate, 431 E. Fayette St, Syracuse, NY 13202. The Youth Group meets the second Monday of every month from 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. at Transitions Living Services, 420 E. Genesee St., Syracuse, NY 13202.

TRANSGENDER

Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Social/educational group for gender variant people and friends. Last Saturday, 3-5pm, GAGV 5th floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640. www.rnytg.org Volunteer Legal Services Project (585) 232-3051; www.vlsprochester.org.1 West Main St. Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14614. Free legal services for low-income clients seeking a name change. Other legal services for low-income clients include family law issues, bankruptcy, unemployment insurance hearings, wills and advance directive documents for clients with serious illnesses.

Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays 5:30-6:30 GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby 875 E. Main St., Ages 13-18. 244-8640 Genesee Valley Gender Variants Thurs. 7-9pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. GVGenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Guys Night Out Social group for transmen. Third Saturdays, 1pm, Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. tguysnightout@gmail.com

Women

lesbians of color www.oursistacircle.com.

The first social networking site for lesbians of Black, Asian, African American, Latina, Native American, Pacific Islander, Chicano, Biracial & other lesbians of color, launched 2009. OurSistaCircle the first free social networking site to offer Skype mental health counseling. No nudity policy on member profiles. Currently 10,800 active members.

Highland Hospital Breast Imaging Center 500 Red Creek Drive, Rochester 14623; 585487-3300. Specializing in breast health, diagnostic breast imaging and treatment and mammography outreach and education.

Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester 840 University Ave.; 585-473-8177; www. bccr.org; email: info@bccr.org. Breast Cancer Coalition provides support services that include programs designed to help those coping with a recent breast cancer diagnosis and those coping with an advanced breast cancer diagnosis, such as the Advanced Breast Cancer Support Group to support women living with metastatic breast cancer. Information about breast cancer, lending library, a monthly educational program.

All BCCR programs, support services free.

Monroe County Women’s Health Partnership 111 Westfall Rd., Rochester NY 14692; (585) 274-6978. Comprehensive breast cancer screening services for uninsured and underinsured women.

Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic 170 Sawgrass Drive. 442-8432. Dr. Wende Logan-Young and an all-woman staff provide mammograms.

Self Help for Women with Breast or Ovarian Cancer (SHARE) 1-866-53SHARE or 1-866-537-4273.

Alternatives for Battered Women 232-7353; TTY 232-1741. Shelter (women only), counseling. Lesbians, gay men welcome.

Victim Resource Center of Wayne County Newark N.Y. Hotline 800-456-1172; office (315)331-1171; fax (315)331-1189.

Mary Magdalene House Women’s outreach center for HIV positive women and women at risk. 291 Lyell Ave. Open Mon-Fri. 6:30-9:30pm 458-5728.

Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/ Syracuse Region 114 University Ave., Rochester, NY 14605; Tollfree Helpline: 1-866-600-6886. Planned Parenthood has led the way in providing high quality, affordable reproductive health care since 1916. All services are confidential.

Accept most insurances; including Medicaid.

You may qualify for low- to no-cost family planning services. When you make your appointment, ask about our sliding scale fees. No one turned away for lack of ability to pay.

Women’s Resource Center YWCA, 175 N. Clinton Ave. 546-7740.

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

Ongoing Calendar Mondays

LORA Coffee Social Every Monday, 7-9:30pm, Equal Grounds Coffee House, 750 South Ave. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/LORACoffeeSocial.

Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640

Gay Alliance Library & Archives, David Bohnett Cyber Center. Every Mon./Wed. 6-8pm. First floor, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 Empire Bears Every Wednesday. 6pm dinner at The Wintonaire. www.empirebears.com

Thursdays

Charlie’s Group 2nd Tuesdays. Monthly peer-facilitated support group for married men who have sex with men.

Confidential, free. For time, place: email: charlie@gayalliance.org.

Women’s Community Chorus Rehearsals each Tuesday, 6:30-9pm, Downtown United Pres. Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh Street. 234-4441, www.therwcc.org Free HIV Testing 9am-7pm. Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave.

Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns 6:30pm, first Thursday. Ralph, 271-7649 Gay Alliance Youth Gender Identity Support Group Thursdays, 5:30-6:30, GAGV Library, 1st floor, off Prince St. lobby. 875 E. Main St. Ages 13-18. 244-8640.

Pride at Work First Thursdays, 5:30pm. 1354 Buffalo Road, Rochester 14624, 426-0862.

GLOB&L (Gays & Lesbians of Bausch & Lomb).

Meets every third Thursday in Area 67 conference room at the Optic Center. Voice mail: 338-8977 Rochester Gay Men’s Chorus Downtown United Presbyterian Church, 121 N. Fitzhugh St. 6:30-9pm, 423-0650 Free confidential walk-in HIV testing Every Thursday night, 5-8pm, Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. 442-2220 Out & Equal Second Thursdays Social/business networking, 5:30-7:30pm.

Changing venues. E-mail: fingerlakes@outandequal.org Genesee Valley Gender Variants 7-9pm, Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. GV GenderVariants@yahoogroups.com Buffalo Women’s Coffee Social Every Thursday, 7 pm - 9:30pm, Spot Coffee Shop, 765 Elmwood Ave. Buffalo. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/groups/buffaloles/ Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

Wednesdays

FRIDAYs

Born That Way Formerly 3rd Presbyterian LGBT Support Group.

First, 3rd Mondays, 7:30-9:30pm, 34 Meigs St. Carol, 482-3832 or Kaara, 654-7516.

Free syphilis testing Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave., 5-8pm. 4422220.

Rochester Historical Bowling Society 7:15pm, Mondays. Clover Lanes, 2750 Monroe Ave. (Group is full.)

HIV Positive Men’s Support group Every Monday, 5pm, Trillium Health Center for Positive Living, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers Mondays, 6pm, George Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Steps Beyond Stems Crack Support Group, Mondays, 7-8pm, 289 Monroe Ave.

Tuesdays

L.O.R.A Knitting Group Now meeting on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month from 7 to 9:30 p.m. at Cross Roads Coffee House, 752 South Goodman St. Identity Group The Identity Group is for LGBT identified individuals who have a developmental disability diagnosis. The group meets Wednesdays 3-4 pm at ARC Health Services (2060 BrightonHenrietta Townline Rd. 14623). The goal of the group is to provide a safe space to discuss identity issues, share personal experiences and increase self-esteem. The group is facilitated

by Delaina Fico. LMSW. For more information, please contact Delaina Fico at dfico@arcmonroe.org or 585-271-0661 ext. 1552.

Gay Alliance Board of Directors Meets Third Wednesdays, 6pm, 875 E. Main St. 244-8640 New Freedom New Happiness AA Gay meeting, 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd. Men and women. Open.

Support Group for Parents who have lost Children First, 3rd Wednesdays, 11am-12:30pm, Third Presbyterian Church, 4 Meigs St. Genesee Region Home Care. Free. 325-1880 COAP Come Out and Play. Wednesday game nights.

8-11 pm. Equal=Grounds, 750 South Ave. 7pm, woody14619@yahoo.com.

Rochester Rams General Meeting 2nd Wednesdays, 7:30pm, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. www.rochesterrams.com Brothers Keeper Support group for men over 30. Third Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30pm, MOCHA Center, 107 Liberty Pole Way. 420-1400 HIV+ Mixed Men’s Group Wednesdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm.

Trillium Health, 259 Monroe Ave. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 6pm, Eastman House parking lot. www.rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Gay Men's AA meeting Fridays, 7:30-8:30pm, Closed meeting.

Emmanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. Gay Alliance Youth Fridays, 7-9pm, Open Arms MCC, 707 E. Main St., 244-8640 GLBTQI Motorcycle Group Second Fridays, 5:30pm, Various locations.

RochesterGLBTIQbikers@yahoo.com; 4676456; bmdaniels@frontiernet.net.

LORA 2nd Friday LGBT Potluck 2nd Fridays, 6:30pm - 9:30pm. Please call for location. Bring a friend & a dish to pass! Everyone Welcome! Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate Supplied. For more info: http://www.facebook. com/groups/L.O.R.A.14464/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 Crystal Meth Anonymous Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. at Brunswick. Meeting every Friday 4 pm in the basement.

LORA LGBT Dinner & Movie 3rd Fridays, 6pm Dinner followed by a movie we voted on at dinner! Call for location. Bring a friend a join us for dinner & movie night! For more info: http://www.facebook.com/groups/ L.O.R.A.14464/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 LORA LGBT Gaymes Night 4th Fridays, 7pm - 9:30pm. Please call for location. Bring a friend & a snack to share Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate Supplied.

For more info: http://www.facebook.com/ groups/L.O.R.A.14464/Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

SATURDAYs

Rochester Rams Bar Night Third Saturdays, 8pm-2am, Bachelor Forum, 670 University Ave. 271-6930 LGBT Family Pride Rochester Meets second Saturday of the month, 1-4pm, Crossroads Coffee House, 752 S. Goodman St. Contact Person: Christine O’Reilly Email: groups@loragroup.org; sponsored by: LORA www.loragroup.org

Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester Social/educational group for gender-variant people, friends. Last Saturdays, 3-5:30pm, GAGV fifth floor, 875 E. Main St. Frontrunners/Frontwalkers 9am, George Eastman House parking lot.www. rochesterfrontrunners.org.

Empire Bears Potluck 2nd Saturdays, GAGV, 875 E. Main, 5th floor, 6:30pm greet; 7pm dinner. Bring dish to pass. www.empirebears.org.

Cross Dresser Support Group First Saturdays, 6-9pm, call for location: 251-2132; RCDNET@hotmail.com Guys Night Out GNO, social group for transmen, now meets on the second Saturday of the month, @ 1pm @ Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. Saturday Night Special Gay AA 7pm, Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Rd., S. Men and women. Open meeting.

Lilac Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf (LRAD) 2nd Saturdays, 6-9pm. rcoaster@rochester.rr.com Sophia’s Supper Club First and third Saturdays. http://www.inspiritual.biz/online-spiritual-evolution-gro/

Sundays

Parents Families & Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) For location: 244-8460; pflag@gayalliance. org.

Rochester General Assembly Sundays, Flying Squirrel Community Center, 285 Clarissa St. Crystal Meth Anonymous Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. at Brunswick . Meeting every Sunday in the basement.

Unity Fellowship Church Sundays, 1:30 pm, Lutheran Church of Peace, 125 Caroline St., 14620. 520-6188.

Dignity-Integrity 1st Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist with music; 2nd Sunday: 5pm Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word with music; 3rd Sunday: 5pm Episcopal Eucharist (quiet); 4th Sunday: 5pm Prayers to start the week, followed by potluck supper.

Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 707 E. Main St. Rochester, 10:30am, 2718478

Gay Men’s Alcoholics Anonymous St. Luke’s/St. Simon Cyrene Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. 8pm, 232-6720, Weekly.

Closed meeting Men’s Cooking Group Third or fourth Sundays, 355-7664.

LORA LGBT Sunday Brunch 1st & 3rd Sundays, 11:30am - 2:30pm. Opa! Authentic Greek Koozina, 1175 Jefferson Rd. For more info: http://www.facebook.com/lorasundaybrunch Contact Person: Cathie; Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037 Gutter Gals - Bowling 2nd & 4th Sundays, 6:30pm - 9:30pm. Bowl A Roll, 1560 Jefferson Rd. $5.70 for 2 games & $2.50 for shoes. For more info: http://www. facebook.com/groups/guttergals/ Contact Person: Cathie: Email: ctimian@l-o-r-a.com; Phone: 585.313.3037

33

Rochester AA/NA Meetings Every week there are four regularly scheduled GLBTI AA and two inclusive NA meetings in Rochester.

Tuesdays

Narcotics Anonymous 6-7:30pm. AIDS and Recovery 1124 Culver Road (Covenant United Methodist Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as to anyone who is affected by HIV and AIDS.

Wednesdays

New Freedom/New Happiness Group 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: Take the last #18 University bus to 12 Corners. Use the stop just past the top of the hill at Hillside Ave. and before Highland Ave. Or take the #1 Park Ave. to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton. This is an open discussion meeting. All issues – as they relate to our alcoholism/addiction and recovery – are fair game.

Fridays Gay Men’s 7:30pm. Immanuel Baptist Church, 815 Park Ave. • Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • Handicapped accessible This is a round-robin discussion meeting. If you are shy about meeting people or speaking up in a group, you will find this meeting particularly warm and inviting because everyone gets their turn to speak (or pass). As a result, this meeting often runs long, so plan on more than the usual hour.

Saturdays Saturday Night Special 7pm. First Unitarian Church, 220 S. Winton Rd. Bus riders: The #18 University Ave. bus does not go by the church on weekend evenings.

Take the #1 Park Ave. bus to the corner of East and Winton, then walk five minutes south (uphill) on Winton.

• Open meeting, all are welcome, “straight friendly” • Mixed men and women • Handicapped accessible, take elevator to basement Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

Sundays Step in the Right Direction 7:30-9pm. 1275 Spencerport Road (Trinity Alliance Church) This is an NA meeting that is open to all addicts who have a desire to stop using. Although it is not specifically a gay-oriented meeting, it is welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Each week features a reading from NA literature, followed by discussion.

Rochester Gay Men 8pm. St. Luke/St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh Street. Bus riders use the Fitzhugh Street stop on Main Street at the County Office Building and walk south one block.

• Closed meeting, restricted to alcoholics and addicts • Men’s meeting • NOT handicapped accessible Meeting begins with a speaker, followed by open discussion.

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014

February SATURDAY 1

Imbolc, Candlemas. Ancient Celtic cross-quarter fire feast of Light. Through Feb. 2. Sacred tree: rowan.

ROMANS mixed nude swim at Harro East. Details: website at http://www.wnyromans.com. Email wnyromans@yahoo. com; inquiry line 585-281-4964.

SUNDAY 2

Dignity Integrity. Episcopal Mass/ Healing Service, with music. 5 pm at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St. PeaceArt International concert. 4 pm, Hochstein Performance Hall, 150 S. Plymouth St. FREE. “Community Peace Celebration – creating peace through the focus of diversity, collaboration and economic justice”. Dedicated to Rev. Vernice Warfield on her 99th birthday. Please bring donations of nonperishable food for Baden Street Settlement, area shelters.

Contact: peaceart@aol.com

TUESDAY 4

The Social Grind. New social group.

Tuesday mornings from 10 am-12 noon at Equal Grounds, 750 South Ave. and Thursday evenings from 7:30-9:30 pm at Spot Coffee, 200 East Ave. DHutch457@ aol.com

WEDNESDAY 5

MuCCC New Play Festival. Five plays through Feb. 7. Tickets for all shows are available at www.MuCCC.org; $8/ advance, $10/door (per show). MuCCC, 142 Atlantic Ave.

THURSDAY 6

Shoulders To Stand On screening.

Free. 5 pm, Helen Wood Hall Auditorium, UR.

SATURDAY 8

Empire Bears. Potluck in the 5th floor GAGV meeting room, Auditorium Center, 875 E. Main St. Starts at 6 pm.

Red Ball. A Steampunk Affaire benefitting the Gay Alliance. 7-11 pm, Diplomat Banquet Center, 1956 Lyell Ave. $20 advance; $30 at door. Online tickets: www.gayalliance.org. Cash only tickets available at Equal=Grounds, OUTlandish, Parkleigh, Hedonist Artisan Chocolates. More info at redball@gayalliance. org.

SUNDAY 9

Dignity Integrity. Roman Catholic Liturgy of the Word, with music. 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

WEDNESDAY 12

Susan B. Anthony Birthday Luncheon.

Presented by Susan B. Anthony Museum & House. Keynote speaker: Louise W. Knight, author, lecturer, and historian.

Rochester Riverside Convention Center.

SERVICES

Hate to paint or clean gutters? I have tall ladders! Dale’s Pleasure Painting & Gutter Cleaning has very reasonable rates for painting year round and gutter cleaning. Average price to paint a room is $150 plus paint. 585-576-5042. Email dale.furlong@yahoo.com.

Man to Man Rubdown. Relax with this experienced, fit, healthy. middleaged, non-smoking GWM. Central location. Private home. Incalls/outcalls.

Reasonable rates. cell#585-773-2410 or home#585-235-6688.

Ask questions. Established life coach opens your direction about goals, questions, issues using classic tarot symbology and fascinating, confidential discussion. $65/hour in your home/office. kivawyandotte@gmail.com

SATURDAY 15

Dignity Integrity Winter Cabin Party.

4 to 9 pm in Brighton. Hotline at 585234-5092 or check website at www.dirochester.org/ RochesterNYGrrlz. Crossdresser group. 4-6 pm, Gay Alliance Nopper Room, 5th floor, 875 E. Main St.

SUNDAY 16

Dignity-Integrity. Quiet Episcopal Mass in the Chapel. 5 p.m. at St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

FRIDAY 21

Speak Out Training. 6-9 pm, HCR Homecare, 85 Menlo Park. $60/person.

Register at www.gayalliance.org; information at SpeakOUT@gayalliance.org or 585-244-8640 ext 20. ASL interpretation available if requested by Feb. 10.

SATURDAY 22

Speak Out Training. 8:30 am-5 pm, HCR Homecare, 85 Menlo Park. $60/ person. Register at www.gayalliance.org; information at SpeakOUT@gayalliance. org or 585-244-8640 ext 20. ASL interpretation available if requested by Feb. 10.

SUNDAY 23

Dignity Integrity. Evening Prayer, followed by a Potluck Dinner: “Brinner: Breakfast for Dinner”. 5 pm, St. Luke’s and St. Simon’s Church, 17 S. Fitzhugh St.

THURSDAY 27

St. Jimmy’s Cabaret. Featuring cast of “American Idiot.” Benefit for DVC young artists, presented by Method Machine. $30 for VIP tickets, $20 for Adults, $10 for Students/Seniors. 10:30 pm at RAPA, 727 E. Main St.

Out & Equal Second Thursdays Networking Event. 5:30-7:30 pm, 140 Alex Bar & Grill. 50/50 raffle to benefit Pride 2014.

Classified ads are $5 for the first 30 words; each additional 10 words is another $1. We do not bill for classifieds, so please send or bring ad and payment to: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, New York 14605.

Paying by check: checks must be made out to Gay Alliance. The deadline is the 15th of the month, for the following month’s issue. We cannot accept ads over the phone. Pay when you place your ad. We will accept only ads accompanied by name and phone number. Neither will be published, but we must be able to confirm placement.

The Empty Closet is not responsible for financial loss or physical injury that may result from any contact with an advertiser. Advertisers must use their own box number, voice mail, e-mail or personal address/phone number.

Children’s Ministry thriving at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church for toddlers to ‘tweens. Join us for vibrant, inclusive, progressive worship on Sundays at 10:30am. 740 Marshall Road off Chili Avenue. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478.

I got engaged and need help planning our wedding. Me and Adam need help finding gay-friendly places for cake, reception, etc. Btmcdonough@yahoo.com.

Empty Closet deadline for March issue. 244-9030; susanj@gayalliance.org.

Trans*Alliance of Greater Rochester.

Monthly meeting, 3-5:30 pm, fifth floor Gay Alliance meeting room. Art therapy with Raquel Acevedo-Pagan.

Butch Femme Connection. Meet at Jay’s Diner on Rte. 15 (West Henrietta Rd.) 7 pm. For further information, Kerry/Max at (585) 288-7208.

ROMANS nude men only swim, Vassar St. Details: website at http://www. wnyromans.com. Email wnyromans@ yahoo.com; inquiry line 585-281-4964.

THURSDAY 13

Classifieds ANNOUNCEMENTS

FRIDAY 14

Wedding Space and clergy services available. Celebrate your special day at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church 740 Marshall Rd. off Chili Ave. info@openarmsmcc.org (585) 271-8478 Handyman: Simple repairs or full renovations, no job is too large or small.

Carpentry, Plumbing, Electrical, Interior & Exterior. 35 years experience. Call Alan & Bill 585-204-0632 or cell 304517-6832.

Martin Ippolito master electrician.

Electrical work, telephone jacks, cable TV, burglar alarm systems, paddle fans.

585-266-6337.

FOR RENT

Three rooms for rent & 1 family room large enough for a studio. 4 bedroom home with 2 bathrooms. Located in Brighton/Twelve Corners area. Students and Grad Students welcome, convenient to UofR, RIT, Nazareth, St. John Fisher.

Separated / Divorced men straight, gay or bi are preferred and welcome. Centrally located with easy access to 390, 590 and 490, Elmwood, Winton and Monroe. No drugs, must be responsible. See add on Craigslist or contact write me at 98036lm@gmail.com or call 585-2861269. Send pic with a little bit about yourself and your room/roommate needs so it’s a good fit for everyone.

ASK EM BY JUSTIN HUBBELL

february 2014 • number 475 • the gay alliance • the empty closet

The Empty Closet is published by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500 Rochester, New York 14605 © 2014, All rights reserved.

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Bed & Breakfast

Editor-in-Chief: Susan Jordan Staff Reporter: Ove Overmyer Graphic Design: Jim Anderson Ad Sales: Brandon Brooks (brandonb@gayalliance.org Advertising policy: The Empty Closet does not print advertisements that contain nude drawings or photographs, nor does it print advertising that states that the person pictured in the ad is for sale, or that you will “get” that particular person if you patronize the establishment advertised. Advertisements that are explicitly racist, sexist, ageist, ableist or homophobic will be refused; advertisements from organizations that are sexist, racist, ageist, ableist or anti-gay will also be refused. All political advertisements must contain information about who placed them and a method of contact.

Additionally, The Empty Closet does not print negative or “attack” advertisements, whether they relate to a product or politics and no matter in whose interest the ad is being produced. A negative advertisement is defined as one that focuses upon a rival product, or in the political area, a rival election candidate or party, in order to point out supposed flaws and to persuade the public not to buy it (or vote for him or her). The Empty Closet maintains, within legal boundaries, neutrality regarding products, political candidates and parties. However, “attack” ads that fail to provide undisputable evidence that the information in the ad is true do not further in any way the objectives and policies of the Gay Alliance or The Empty Closet, including the primary tenet that The Empty Closet’s purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community and to provide an impartial forum for ideas.

Submissions: For publication, submit news items, ads, photos, letters, stories, poetry, ads, photographs or art by mail or in person to The Empty Closet office by the 15th of the month.

Design services for non-camera ready ads are available for a fee. 244-9030, susanj@gayalliance.org Publication Information: The Empty Closet is published 11 times a year (December and January combined) by The Empty Closet Press for the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc. Approximately 5000 copies of each issue are distributed during the first week of the month, some by mail in a plain sealed envelope. The publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles is not an indication of the sexual or affectional orientation of that person or the members of that organization. For further information, please write to The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main St., Rochester NY. 14605, call (585) 244-9030 or e-mail emptycloset@gagv.us.

The Empty Closet is the official publication of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, Inc., as stated in the bylaws of that organization. Its purpose is to inform the Rochester gay community about local and national gayrelated news and events; to provide a forum for ideas and creative work from the local gay community; to help promote leadership within the community, and to be a part of a national network of lesbian and gay publications that exchange ideas and seek to educate.

Part of our purpose is to maintain a middle position with respect to the entire community. We must be careful to present all viewpoints in a way that takes into consideration the views of all – women, men, people of color, young and old, and those from various walks of life.

The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. The Empty Closet shall not be liable for any loss or expense that results from the publication (whether correctly or incorrectly) or omission of an ad. In the event of non-payment, your account may be assigned to a collection agency or an attorney, and will be liable for the charges paid by us to such collection agency or attorney.

Letters to the editor: The opinions of columnists, editorial writers and other contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily reflect the collective attitude of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley or The Empty Closet. We will print letters at the editor’s discretion and on a space available basis. Only one letter by the same writer in a six-month period is allowed.

We will not print personal attacks on individuals, nor will we be a forum for ongoing disputes between individuals. We reserve the right to edit for space and clarity. We will print anonymous letters if the name and phone number are provided to the Editor; confidentiality will be respected.

Submissions are due by the 15th of the month at: The Empty Closet, 875 E. Main Street, Suite 500, Rochester, NY 14605; e-mail: emptycloset@gagv.us. The online edition of EC is available at www.gayalliance.org.

PFLAG meets the 3rd Sunday of each month Meetings are at Open Arms Metropolitan Community Church, 707 E. Main St., Rochester, NY 14605 from 1 to 3pm. Questions?

Call: 585-244-8640 and leave a message, or e-mail: pflag@gayalliance.org Join us!

Wine. Liquor. Free Tastings 661 South Ave • 585.319.5159 southwedgespiritsandwine.com Mon-Sat: 11am-9pm / Sun: Noon-6pm

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the empty closet • the gay alliance • number 475 • february 2014