A Monthly Gay e-zine
www.gaylaxymag.com
OCT - DEC 2010
GAYLAXY
Vol I Issue IX
empowering expressions
THE NOT-SO-GAY FACE OF
BOLLYWOOD
Leisure Credits
Editor’s Note Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct-Dec 2010 What a month November has been! Almost all the metros had some or the other festival to celebrate gaiety. While Kolkata had a Film Festival, both Delhi and Bangalore held pride marches, where thousands turned up. In Bangalore, the march was the culmination of a month long celebration of various events, whereas in the capital city of Delhi, it marked the beginning of Nigah Queer Film Festival. For those of you who couldn't make it there, I hope the pictures in this issue can atleast be indicative of the spirit that was present all around.
Editor-in-Chief: Sukhdeep Singh Editors: Siddhant Pattanaik Sukanya Mahata Team of Writers: Ahana Banerjie Rohan Noronha Dibyendu Paul Agnivo Niyogi Dr. Jas Reina
With this issue, we come to the end of a year's journey. 2010 has seen some of the biggest scams of India being unearthed, but let us remember it for all the good things that it brought along with itself. I will surely remember it as the birth year of Gaylaxy. I can promise you some surprises in 2011 from Gaylaxy's side. What exactly, you will have to wait and watch. We have a few things that we are working upon. A New Year resolution of mine would be to come out with regular monthly issues of Gaylaxy.
Contributors: Louis Jonval Aditya Bondyopadhyay Ambarish Anand Khavnekar Victor Hadi Hussain Vivek Raza Avishek
With so much of tamasha surrounding the release of Dunno Y...Na Jane Kyun, we decided to explore whether Bollywood is actually ready for gay cinema. Read on as Onir and Kapil Sharma reveal the truth. With gay being the new “it” thing, Indian TV series are making sure that they have a gay character. How far will it go in clearing the misconceptions about the community depends upon how sensibly they are portrayed. Avishek tells you about the queer portrayal in the past and present in the idiot box. From the other side of the border, Hadi Hussain lists the challeneges faced by queer activists in Pakistan.
Design: Peeyush Jain Pawan Koserwal Mukesh Prasad Web: Apurv Gupta Marketing & Advertising: Divir Tiwari Cover Pic by: Aditya Bondyopadhyay
Gaylaxy would celebrate its first birthday next month. Write to us and share your views and comments with us. We would be waiting to read them! Until then, wishing you all Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the complete team.
Published from: Kolkata, India Email: editor@gaylaxymag.com Website: www.gaylaxymag.com
8
Best Wishes Sukhi
For business and advertising enquiries, Contact us at :
adv@gaylaxymag.com
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Inside this issue
OCT-DEC ‘10
ISSUE 9
FEEDBACK Mailbox COVER STORY The Not-so-Gay Face of Bollywood WORLD Queer Activism in Pakistan G-NEWS G-News
Pg 4
Pg 5
Pg 10
Pg 12
SCIENCE & HEALTH
Ask Bhola Da
Pg 14
Lose that Extra Kilo
Pg 15
Biology of Bisexuality EVENTS Pride @ Bengaluru
Pg 17
Pg 18
The Community Floats
Pg 19
Dialogues
Pg 25
CURRENT AFFAIRS
Queers in the Idiot Box RELATIONSHIP To Love, With Love Stress And Relationships
Pg 28
Pg 30
Pg 31
OCT-DEC ‘10
ISSUE 9
LIFESTYLE Dil Dosti Etc. DE LA CUISINE PERSONALS A Chapter from my Life Gay Musings from Across the Border Dunno... Who is to be Blamed? LEISURE Let The Cards Speak Noah’s Arc : A Review Test Your GQ LITERATURE Poem Fiction: Forbidden Love in a Coal Mine
Pg 33
Pg 35
Pg 37
Pg 39
Pg 41
Pg 43
Pg 45
Pg 47
Pg 48
Pg 49
NGO Pg 52
NGO List
Feedback Leisure Leisure
MAILBOX
Hi Dear Sukhi!!! Thanks a ton for the heart y wishes and best wishes of Diwali and New Year to you and your family and all the friends of Gaylaxy Mag. Hey dear!! Keep up the good work! -Mac Taurean Great work Sukhdeep! – Victor, Kolkata In one look, this issue seems very different from the previous ones and I can feel a sense of freshness. The images in Long Distance Relation article is really mesmerizing. Good work. –Hadi Hussain, Pakistan Congrats!! Great to see Gaylaxy back. – Santanu, Swikriti Kolkata Great work. Greetings from part of the effort in Trinidad & Tobago. -Vernon O'Reilly Ramesar OMG HE's STRAIGHT!!!! From my queer fraternity and sorority kins. -Souvik Biswas
Nice.. and so true. Heard that a million times myself. – Amy Queen
Would you like to wish someone for their birthday or maybe for celebrating their courtship anniversary, or simply want to show your lover how much you care. If you answer is YES, and you believe in PROCLAMATION OF LOVE, do it through GAYLAXY! Send us a picture or a message at adv@gaylaxymag.com and we will put it up for all to read, if you wish to keep your or your partners name anonymous WE RESPECT that as well! Classified ads are Rs 150 for the first 50 words and Rs 25 for every additional 10 words. Gaylaxy reserves the right to reject classified ads that may be deemed inappropriate or in bad taste. Picture ads would be charged based on the size of the pic.
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Cover Story Leisure
Actors refusing to play gay characters on-screen to unwilling producers, Sukhdeep Singh explores the difficulties faced in making a sensible gay themed movie and finds out that the world's biggest film industry has a long way to cover
S
ince the inception of Dunno Y..Na Jaane Kyun, there has been
too much hullabaloo surrounding the movie. From censor trouble to protests by
Hindu activists, you find it in news every other day. But even before all this, the big
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Cover Story Leisure question that remains to be answered is: 'Is Bollywood ready for gay cinema?' At the first instance, this question may sound stupid to you; after all, there have been gay characters in movies, and films like Fashion, Metro and Page 3 depicted the characters in a sensible way (and let's just not discuss about all the gay parodies that come out of the industry). But just ponder a little; all these characters have been in supporting roles at best! The only sensible movies with gay central protagonists that come to mind are Fire and My Brother Nikhil. While Fire was released in 1996, My Brother Nikhil was released almost 5 years back! In nearly 15 years, the world's biggest film industry produces only three films whose central protagonist is gay/lesbian. Something certainly must be amiss, given the fact that nearly three movies get released every week! Is it a lack of audience support, or a lack of financers, or simply a lack of interest from the directors and their unwillingness to experiment with a “taboo topic”? After all, Bollywood is quick to copy its Western counterpart, and movies in the west made on such themes have often gone on to win Oscar awards in various categories.
Funds Crunch Walking the untrodden path has always been a difficult task, and it's been only recently that Bollywood has
As long as people are pretending to be gay, they are fine; but gay central protagonists are still not accepted in terms of getting the finances at all moved away from the usual boy-meets-girl stories. Most of these 'unconventional' movies have been small budget ones, but have gone on to become hits, thus instilling some confidence in the producers, who are now ready to finance such movies. However, there are still some topics that most choose to stay away from, even though a movie on a similar theme might have been a commercial success. This is exactly what Onir, the director of My Brother Nikhil who is currently working on I AM, found out. “When I was doing My Brother Nikhil, because the central protagonist was gay, it was impossible to get any financers o r p r o d u c e r s . We h a d producers telling us 'Why don't you make Nikhil's character as s o m e o n e w h o i s heterosexual?', which was unacceptable to me,” says Onir. “Five years down the line when I am making I AM, where one of the stories has a gay protagonist, the industry is still not very accepting. As long as
people are pretending to be gay, they are fine; but gay central protagonists are still not accepted in terms of getting the finances at all,” he adds. Kapil Sharma, the lead actor of Dunno Y.. Na Jaane Kyun echoes the view, “I didn't have much problem finding the producers… We were lucky in our case, but generally producers aren't forthcoming.” And in case you are a first time director, getting your film financed can be like searching for water in a desert, as Maanav Raj has discovered. Maanav has directed many successful commercials previously and also worked as an Associate Director for the movie Pankh, and now wants to venture out into the film industry with a movie that deals with gay romance in the late 80s and early 90s. Ready with the script, he is yet to find any producers willing to take the plunge. “Had I made a guy - gal love story, I would have got funds by now, but I am struggling to find money for this kind of project,” he says. But with Forbes India estimating the earned income
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Cover Story Leisure of the LGBT community at 3% of Indian GDP, what exactly is holding back the producers? Is it pure homophobia, or is it the risks involved in investing in something new? “Because it is something that has just started opening up in the c o u n t r y, f i n a n c e r s a n d producers are still not confident about putting their money in. A lot of them are of course homophobic, while others see that the business possibility is difficult, because what happens is that a lot of people, especially men, they, when a film gets labeled as a gay film, are afraid to go to the theatre to watch it because of how they would be perceived…So all those things are taken into account when it comes to financing a film,” explains Onir. Maanav narrates a similar story, “My film could be a good film outside India. Internationally it could get awards, but it is not going to generate money abroad, it's just going to generate some applause. But at the end of the day, for a producer, he is investing some money; for him it is a business and he needs his money back.”
Unwilling Actors The woes don't end there for a director. Getting an actor to play a gay role on-screen is an uphill task that mostly leads to disappointment. Though finding producers wasn't so difficult for Kapil Sharma of Dunno Y…Na Jaane Kyun, casting was much of a problem for him. And both Onir and
Maanav agree that even if you are able to generate funds for your movie, there aren't enough takers for the role among our so called “established actors”. “Some of the senior actors like Zeenat Aman and Helen had no issues because of the gay content at all, the problem was for the newer stars, the youner generation ones,” says Kapil. Although Kapil ended up playing the lead role himself, he hadn't planned to do so initially. “For my role, I had spoken to some actors who had done two – three films, they aren't stars but are known. They had a lot of hang ups and even if they were playing the role, they wouldn't do a lot of things. Eventually I decided to do the role that I am doing,” he reveals. For My Brother Nikhil, no actor even wanted to be cast in the movie, and little seems to have changed in these 5 years. “While working on I AM, for one of the segments I had
approached a “star” star and for months the person did not even have the time to read the script, which is because of the sub-story and then I realized the insecurity of how a person would be perceived if he plays gay and at the same time not having the balls to do something because of perception,” says Onir. The fear of getting “typecast” is what seems to rule their mind. “They don't want to play a gay role because it would damage their image of lover boy,” tells Maanav. “Somewhere they have a lot of inhibitions,” sums up Kapil. Probably there's a lot of internal homophobia too that these “stars” need to overcome. In a recent report in DNA newspaper, on a question of playing a gay role in a movie, actor Bobby Deol was quoted as saying, “I don't see myself playing a gay role. My physique and demeanour is very masculine and I am sure audiences will faint at that very thought. Though I will love to experiment, this is something that I can't carry off.” The statement in itself reveals how actors have stereotypical images in their mind that they still need to get past. What did he actually mean by “a very masculine physique” is something that only Mr. Deol could explain and justify.
If It's mockery, it's fine Strangely though, from the producers to the actors, no one seems to mind it if the
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Cover Story Leisure
A still from Dostana, where the lead actors pretended to be gay
movie or the role is making a mockery of the community. So, in almost every third movie churning out from the film industry today, you would find a certain guy having a crush on a straight friend, or a certain Kantaben entering the room only to find the lead actors in a “compromising position”. These sub-plots have in fact become an essential part of the movie. “As long as it is mockery, as long as people are laughing at it, it is OK; because at the end of the day no one cares. Then it is OK then they (actors) would all accept,” points out Onir. That would explain the eagerness of actors Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor to be chosen for Dostana 2. In an episode of Koffee With Karan, the two actors in fact kissed each other in front of Karan Johar- the host and owner of Dharma Productions- to convince him that they are “comfortable” playing a gay couple. Dostana, it may be
pointed out, was yet another movie where the lead actors have to “pretend” to be a gay couple to get a rented house in USA, leading to a series of bizarre situations.
Censorship and Distribution After going through all the difficulties, there is another hurdle that a movie needs to cross- that of the censors. The Govt. appointed Censor Body in India often has the last word on what the countrymen can watch. Many films, especially if they are on some sensitive or offbeat topic, have faced the heat of censor scissors. Dunno Y… Na Jaane Kyun found itself in a similar situation, when the censors refused to pass the
As long as it is mockery, as long as people are laughing at it, it is OK
love making scenes in the movie. “They had issues with some intimate shots and it took us three months to convince them that if it is a love story, it has to have some intimate moments. If it would have been a guy and girl love story, than those scenes would have been easily passed. Finally we reached to a compromise. They passed the first intimate kiss, but we had to reduce the length,” says Kapil. However, he feels that they faced objections because it was the first time the censors encountered such a film and there was a certain shock value to it. Onir on the other hand says that he never faced any trouble form the Censors for his movies. “There are a lot of people who are very sensible and they are not there to screw your script, they are not there to harm you. Of course they have certain guidelines to follow because they are working for an organization.”
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Cover Story Leisure After overcoming all the hurdles, it is not necessary that distributors will be ready to take up the movie, as the makers of Dunno Y… Na Jaane K y u n fo u n d o u t . M a j o r multiplex chains like Fun Cinemas, INOX, Cinemax refused to screen the movie because of its gay content, citing that they are a “family theatre”, affecting the release of the movie countrywide. Eventually, the movie could only be released in three cities- Mumbai, Delhi and Ahmedabad. Negotiations are still going on with the distributors, but the movie is yet to release in any other city in India.
Audience Support Despite all the apprehensions and inhibitions shown by the producers and actors, audiences have come out in full support, clearly giving thumbs up for more such movies in the future. My Brother Nikhil not only won many awards, but was a commercially successful movie too. “My Brother Nikhil had a very long run… If you make a film which has a good story to tell, which is tackled in an intelligent way, people are willing to see the film,” says Onir. Even Dunno Y… Na Jaane Kyun has had an above average collection in these cities. “In PVR Cinemas in Mumbai, the collections have now been fifty- sixty percent. There is mixed audience that is coming,” informs Kapil. For that matter, even I AM
Somewhere it had to start... We had to go through the consequences… In the future all these people will be more would not had been possible on Onir's side without public support. Unable to find producers who would be willing to put their money in a movie with 4 sub-stories about child sexual abuse, gender and sexuality, Onir decided to let people become co-owners of the movie. Anyone could become co-owner by contributing as little as Rs 1000. He was finally able to generate more than half of the movies budget and in the end, the movie had around 350 coowners (those who gave anywhere between Rs 1000 – Rs 1 Lakh) and around 50 coproducers (those who contributed more than Rs 1 Lakh). “The way I AM is made, I have got an entire audience support who are ready to put in money. For me it is a big moral boost because it's almost telling that yes we believe in your kind of film and subject; and we need to participate in the making of the film,” an ecstatic Onir said over the phone. “I think people in general are more supportive than the so called financers or producers,” he added.
To say that Bollywood would change overnight would be pure utopia; after all, perceptions take time to change. But the success of these movies would surely instill some confidence among the producers to come forward to fund such movies. Kapil feels that the movies that would be made in the future probably won't have to experience the same hostilities as his movie did. “Somewhere it had to start. It has been started. We had to g o t h r o u g h t h e consequences… In the future all these people will be more lenient… I think some film makers will have more guts to come out with different aspects of this issue.” And even if financers view it as a good investment, how long will the actors take to shed their inhibitions and phobia remains to be seen. Until then, all that our stars will jostle for is a role in another Dostana.
A Beginning has been Made
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Leisure World
QUEER ACTIVISM IN
PAKISTAN Hadi Hussain describes the challeges faced by queer activists in Pakistan
R
ecently I came across an interview of Ali Saleem aka Begum Nawazish Ali by Vishwas Kukarni from Times of India. When Saleem was asked about the gay life in Pakistan, h e r e p l i e d b a c k , “….everybody is free to be whatever they want to be. I've never heard of any discrimination based on sexuality….” It might be sensational publicity claptrap (for Big Boss season 4) or a way to project 'the enlighted moderation' (a motto General Pervaz Musharraf gave and Saleem followed it by heart) for him, but for every LBGT individual living in Pakistan, it was a blatant display of ignorance and irresponsibility. His statement reminded me of General Musharaf's equally insane and outrageous statement proclaiming “No gays in Pakistan”. Call it Saleem's elitist myopia for such ignorance, because if you are resourceful; with family members in bureaucracy or in army or if you have oil wells pumping in your backyard (as Maya Angelou said) only then
can you get away with anything. Otherwise, you will have to pay for yours as well as of others' sins for not being the blessed one. Such obnoxious incidents and irresponsible comments don't only trivialize the on-going harassment of LGBT individuals but also damage the budding LGBT movement in Pakistan. Therefore, a serious and responsible representation of Pakistani LGBT community is required so that the real voices can be raised and listened globally. During my course of work for LGBT community in Pakistan, I have come across a plethora of issues. Starting from the most frequently asked question“Why are LGBT rights needed?”, to the myths attached to parallel sexualities; or the lack of culturally relevant research discourses to the absence of non-derogatory terms and literary expressions for LGBT individuals, or the discrimination and violence individuals with alternate
sexualities face to the ever popular sexuality-Islam (religion) debate. There is so much to explore and to work on as it's a completely unexplored issue in Pakistan. Now, I will try to address all the potentially important areas of LGBT activism in Pakistan one by one. Every single day I come across p e o p l e a s k i n g w hy i t ' s important to struggle for LGBT rights when women haven't gotten theirs, when religious minorities face injustice and when there is an on-going war on terrorism within the land of pure. Why to make such brouhaha and turn this nonissue into an issue? To address this issue, firstly we need to understand who is deciding what is important and what is not. And this idea of becoming 'important' also varies from person to person. Secondly, having other issues doesn't lessen the importance of LGBT rights, rather they require more attention as various organizations and NGOs are working for the empowerment of women and minorities in
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Leisure World Pakistan; but LGBT issues are always brushed under the carpet (although there are some NGOs working with Hijra community only and its limited to HIV/AIDS and sexual h eal t h ) . We n eed t o understand and accept the fact that LGBT rights are actually human rights and without recognizing and implementing them, we can't call Pakistan a civil society. Every time I look around or talk to my fellow queer folks, I hear that people laugh about their sexual and gender identity and I believe media is responsible for this at large. Just look at any movie or play, LGBT characters are added to raise the humor quotient of the project with typical stereotypical depiction. I just want to say to all those torch bearers of infotainments that LGBT people are neither laughing stocks nor side kicks. They are serious individuals with a lot more seriousness about their lives than any average heterosexual person. Then there are several myths regarding LGBT, especially about male homosexuality. Generally, public think it's a disorder which needs to be treated, that it's all about sex, sex and sex. Queers are promiscuous, potentially atheists without any moral values, have been victims of childhood sexual abuse and are pedophiles in disguise and the devil-list goes on. All these myths are primary
contributors towards developing such stereotypes, which further cause violence and discrimination of LGBT individuals. Therefore, we need to address these myths with patience and to spread awareness regarding the community, or else nobody is going to relearn his/her social b e h av i o r. A n o t h e r i s s u e attached to it is the problem of language and terminology we find in Urdu or other regional languages. All we have is chakka, khusra, zanana, baji, moorat, double paratha, double sim, londaybaz, pathaon ke barfi etc, and all of them are slangs or abuses. There's a huge drench of gender neutral and nonderogatory vocabulary for LGBTs which should also be culturally relevant. Moreover, we need to document experiences and life histories of LGBT individuals along with empirical researches exploring different facets of queerness. Talking of sexual orientation in Pakistan, how can one get away without discussing Islam. Religion has occupied an undeniable holy stature in the lives of Pakistanis and as soon as they hear of queerness or queer rights, everyone (even the least practicing Muslim) will come up and say it's haram and that queers are meant to be damned. Although mainstream religious scholars and interpretations of texts suggest capital punishment for what they think is male homosexuality, there isn't
strong enough evidence for punishing lesbians or bisexuals; whereas intersexuals have been granted some rights but most of the population isn't aware of them. However, there are alternative approaches put forward by several Islamic scholars and Imams like Daayie Abdullah, Mohsin Hendricks, Sitti Musda, Amina Wadud, Irshad Manji and several others which postulate that homosexuality isn't haram in Islam. To deal with all the above mentioned issues in a professional manner, it's pivotal to get proper training to enhance the skills required for doing queer activism. Because only than we will be able to render proper services to the community. Moreover, we need to establish a social support system for the LGBT community of Pakistan which will not only provide them with an opportunity to interact with like minded people and to be friends with them, but also act as surrogate family during the hour of crisis. Queer activism in Pakistan has still a long way to go because things are just starting off, but a time will come when we will march down the roads chanting slogans and raising rainbow flags and telling everyone that we are queer and we are proud of it. Only then will we be able to make this land of ours truly a Rainbowistan.
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Leisure G-NEWS
G- NEWS: INDIA Ü
Along with senior citizens, transgenders will also be eligible for free legal aid after the Haryana State Legal Services Rules, 1966 was amended by the state government recently.
Ü
Justice AP Shah said that Britain should apologise to its fromer colonies for introducing Sec 377 that criminalises homosexuality.
Ü India has restricted
travel curbs on foreigners with HIV+ status coming to the country. Foriegners will no longer have to declare their HIV status while applying for visa.
Ü
Andhra Pradesh government issued a GO, bringing the transgender community under the purview of the minorities welfare department.
Ü
Dunno Y… Na Jaane Kyun released in only 3 cities- Mumbai, Delhi and Ahmedabad- as most of the pleaxes in other cities refused to screen the movie.
Ü Eunuchs will now get a monthly pension of Rs 1000 in Delhi, after Municipal Corporation of Delhi included them in the Monthly Pension Scheme. To claim the pension, eunuchs will have to submit a medical certificate from a government hospital as proof of being a eunuch, an affidavit that the eunuch is not married and a birth certificate or any other document as proof that the applicant is not below 18 yrs of age.
Ü Delhi and Bangalore held Pride Marches on Nov 28
th
, with thousands turning up to express
their support for the community.
Ü Kollywood's actor
Sarath Kumar will be playing the role of a transgender in a film titled Kanchana which is directed by choreographer-turned-filmmaker, Raghavendra Lawrence.
Ü Karnataka Government has included transgenders in the Backwrd Class list.
Ü Kaushik Ganguly's
Just Another Love Story (Aarekti Premer Galpo) was awarded Special Jury Award at the 41st International Film Festival of India held in Goa recently. The movie releases on Dec 24th.
Ü In what would be India's first video campaign against homophobia, Equal India Alliance has launched a video titled A NEW DAY, to build welcoming environments for India's LGBT community, principally at colleges and in the workplace. The link to the video is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Nhm37K3er4&feature=player_embedded
Ü Pune successfully held Q-Fest, a two day queer cultural festival involving movie screenings, panel discussions etc.
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G-NEWS Leisure
Ü In an apparent shift from its previous stance, Pope Benedict XVI recently said that use of condoms in some cases, as by male prostitutes, was an act of responsibility to prevent the spreading of AIDS.
Ü Apple removed the anti-gay app The Manhattan Declaration from its iTunes store after protests from thousands of users. The app, which was available for free download from iTunes store, called upon users to fight marriage equality.
Ü A United Nations panel has deleted a reference to gays and lesbians in a resolution condemning unjustified executions. The amendment called for the words “sexual orientation” to be replaced with “discriminatory reasons on any basis”.
Ü While hearing a case challenging the legality of articles of the civil code, France's law book, which ban same-sex marriages; France's highest court of appeal, the Court of Cassation has asked the Constitutional Council to rule on whether gay marriage should remain illegal.
Ü Argentina's Gay Pride Parade had thousands of people marching in support. Argentina is the only Latin American country to have legalized same-sex marriage recently.
Ü
Pink Mountain Travels and Tours- Nepal's first LGBT travel agency- was launched on the auspicious occasion of Diwali.
Ü The European Court of Human Rights fined Russia 29,510 Euros ($41,090) for violating the rights of gay rights activist Nikolai Alexeyev.
Ü
The Federal Constitutional Court- the highest court of Germany- has ruled that gay couples must be given equal rights of tax inheritance.
Ü The Kids Are All Right, a movie about a lesbian couple raising two children, is being pitched as a strong contender for the Oscars.
Ü Pakistan's state-run National Database Registration
The Kids Are All Right
Authority has decided to provide jobs to members of the transgender community, in line with a Supreme Court ruling to protect the rights of eunuchs.
Ü UK's Parliament will soon have a LGBT network called ParliOut. Ü
US Senate voted 65 to 31 in favor of repealing DADT policy of its military. With the end of this 17 yr-old discriminatory policy, recruits can now be openly gay in the US military
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Science & Health Leisure Leisure
ASK BHOLADA
T
here is a naughty side to each one of us. We have fantasies which we keep to ourselves and express only when we are in the company of the most trusted comrade. Sexual fantasies often take a “dirty” turn. But who cares, the more adventurous it is, the moments of pleasure become more pleasurable. So let us all drop our inhibitions (and pants too) and talk about the dirty side of sex. . A few moments of fun can spoil our future in the long run. So it is extremely important you take the precautions before doing. Always talk it out with a stranger. Never go to a scene without properly negotiating it with your partner, even if you are bottom, you have the right to get it done the way you would want to. BDSM is NOT abuse. Safe practices can lead to an experience unforgettable. While unsafe and perverse acts amounting to deep injuries in the submissive partner can be tantamount to criminal offence.
Question: What is BDSM? Bholada: BDSM is a kind of role play during physical intimacy, in which two people or a group, use their experiences from life mostly encompassing sensations of pain and power to heighten the sexual tension and derive the big O moment. BDSM stands for Bondage, Dominance, Submission and Sadomasochism. These acts can be placed on the other end of the spectrum of sexual activities and often transcend conventional sex.
Question: What are tops and bottoms?
There are some safe words that are in vogue while BDSM. Use of the same can make the top partner go slow or put the brakes on the ride. A submissive partner must always make sure his physiology is not compromised while enacting a role play.
Bholada: This should not come as new information to anyone but no harm repeating. Those who are the dominant ones in a relationship or act are called tops while the submissive persons are bottoms. Sometimes people interchange their roles to explore more of their relationship. They are called “floating” or “switches”.
Physical abuse like inflicting cuts and whipping hard or subjecting partner to electric shocks are definitely not products of a sane mind and must always be avoided.
Question: What activities characterise
Safe sex is the buzzword. While role play leads to anal or oral sex, care must be taken to avoid any means of contracting infection. Following the diktats of safe sex (which I have been sharing with you over the issues in the past) will ensure one man's fun does not become another's pain.
BDSM?
Bholada: Mostly BDSM involves dirty sex, which can go to lengths of physical abuse. Whipping, master-slave relation, rape, golden Shower, forced eating of cum and faeces, fisting are some of the acts performed. Tying up the bottom partner, while staking claim to his body in wildest of ways, often generates sexual energy unknown in conventional sexual practices. But such methods do come with their share of risks too.
Safe, Sane and Consensual is how sex should be. BDSM, if performed well, can be unmatched with regards to sexual energy.
So next time you and your partner want to try something new on the bed, do opt for an adventurous session. However do not risk your health for it.
Question: Can we have safe BDSM? Bholada: Safe sex is a key to healthy living.
h h Have any query? Write to us at editor@gaylaxymag.com 14
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Science & Health Leisure Leisure
LOSE THAT EXTRA KILO If you are exploring ways to lose calories, Rohan Noronha helps you in your mission by clearing the myths surrounding low Carb Diet Plans
L
ooking good and feeling the same inside out has posed to be a challenge to many, no wonder the health industry has taken advantage of this situation and these days we notice the mushrooming of many Carb Diet plans visible online and at various libraries across the globe. It was a rage during the mid seventies and eighties when the fitness mantra of being lean and slim took the world by storm and today, the fad still has its presence across many households throughout the nation. Carb Diet plans like the famous ATKINS DIET have
been successful for many healthy beings across the globe and testimonials endorsed by famous celebrities have always put it on a high p e d e s t a l . H o w e v e r, a s experience talks, there is always a downside to many good things in life. So today, with this write up, I aim not to demean but to educate the masses about the pros and cons on various fads with regard to Carb Diet plans like the ATKINS DIET that people like you and me resort to for a quick solution. Atkins Diet plan and Low
Carb Diet, what is the connection? The medical gurus have their own opinions with regard to Carb Diet plans and famous ones like the Atkins Diet. Most say that the Atkins diet is nothing but a bizarre form of leading their followers to an untimely demise inside out with the kind of practices quoted to be followed. However, in the recent years there have been intense research and studies on the famous diet plan. When the book “Diet Revolution� made its first appearance in the year 1972, professionals from the
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Science & Health Leisure Leisure world of healthcare stirred up an agitation against the plan of putting citizens on a diet with little or no carbohydrates at all, calling the Carb Diet a scam and its theories blasphemous. There was hardly any doctor who would not speak out against the diet plan. However, the reason why the world of medical doctors spoke against the diet plan was the comparison of the diet plan with those of the conventional theory and practice of nutrition and health, which they were not willing to accept. Most doctors in those days were of the opinion that the best way to get a considerable amount of weight lost would be by counting ones calories. Many rejected the Carb Diet and swore to have found diets that work well with low consumption of fats and proteins and high intakes of carbohydrates. Surprisingly, most of these doctors whose patients tried the controversial Atkins Diet during those days came out with amazing results that would leave the critics wide mouthed. The Carb Diet, as many say, was misunderstood and hence there was a lot of criticism involved right from its inception. Myths and Facts on the Carb Diet with regard to Atkins Diet 1. The first myth that was doing the rounds in those days and sometimes even today would be that Carb Diet consists of high amounts of fat
as a part of consumption. This indeed, as many experts now say, is not the case and research and studies show that Dr. Atkins in fact wanted a smooth blend of proteins and fats, in the form of leafy green salads and fresh veggies. The Carb Diet does not want the individual to go overboard or under do the consumption of fat in the plan, since it is the fats that provide the nutrients which ultimately would fuel the body and help undo the want of carbohydrates in the body, which no longer form a part of the food intake. 2. The Carb Diet was known to have the risks of high cholesterol levels. This again was a misunderstood concept and studies showed that only cholesterol which is good is raised automatically when the Carb Diet is followed, whereas when we check with the cholesterol that is bad for you, records show a drop by twenty points, which is a bumper for any health conscious person. 3. Following the Atkins Diet is cumbersome was another myth doing the rounds, in fact it is quite AU CONTRAIRE!! The Atkins diet was considered to be a waste since the choices of food consumption according to many were less. Carb Diet does not propagate the consumption of good food to be delirious to having a wonderful healthy body. In fact, it states that doctor's consent is required on the types of food you can or cannot have while one is on the Carb Diet, which is just a small fraction of the whole
food domain once the phase for weight loss is achieved. 4. Diabetics call for danger using the Carb Diet, is another misconception of sorts when it comes to the Atkins diet. In fact, studies have shown that people suffering from diabetes ( TYPE 2), have given up the use of their medicines in a couple of years, all thanks to the supervision of their doctors and the use of this particular low Carb Diet. 5. Side effects include tension and headaches when one uses the Carb Diet plan on a daily basis. To a certain extent, this has been seen with those who used the Atkins plan but not on an alarming level. The reason, as stated by experts, would be the metabolism shift within the body once the individual starts on the Carb Diet routine. In fact, on the positive side, the craving for caffeine is reduced and energy is built ten times more with the Atkins diet when followed properly. These are the myths and mysteries that surrounded Carb Diet plans like the Atkins diet. As in any form of diet plans, one needs to have good supervision given by their family doctors on if and whether they should use this plan to suit their goals on weight loss. Always remember, the body needs to be respected and overdoing anything should not be the goal when using a Carb Diet plan. In the end, I wish you a healthy life and good food to keep you nourished and well balanced.
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Science & Health Leisure
BIOLOGY OF BISEXUALITY -Agnivo Niyogi In the last issue we discussed the basic concepts and hypotheses about bisexuality and how ideas concerning the subject evolved throughout time. The discovery that the genital system in both sexes had a common origin boosted the speculation that the human mind was essentially bisexual. But substantial evidence was lacking. The ball shifted to the court of neuropsychologists to furnish the much needed evidence. The first attempts in this direction were made by Kiernan (1884, 1888), Frank Lydston (1889, 1892), and the Frenchman Chevalier (1893). The works of these scientists prompted a Viennese psychologist to further study the subject. He came up with a theory that “since the peripheral part of the sexual apparatus is of bisexual predisposition, this must be true of the central part as well. Thus one must assume that the cerebrum contains male and female centres whose antagonistic action and relative strength determine the individual's sex behaviour. The central part of the sex system is autonomous and therefore independently subject to developmental disturbances.” But he could not provide any shred of evidence for his assumptions. This
dominant
theory
of
bisexuality began to wither away as increasing biological evidences began surfacing. Research into the psychological aspects of man's sexuality gained momentum and also underwent a paradigm shift of approach. Anatomy was gradually replaced with functional attributes. The developments have been summarised by Frank R Lillie in his works:
“There is no such biological entity as sex. What exists in nature is a dimorphism within species into male and female individuals, which differ in respect to contrasting characters; it is merely a name for our total impression of the differences. It is difficult to divest ourselves of the prescientific anthropomorphism which assigned phenomena to the control of personal agencies, and we have been particularly slow in the field of the scientific study of sex characteristics in divesting ourselves not only of the terminology but also of the influence of such ideas. . . . Sex
of the gametes and sex in bodily structure or expression are two radically different things. The failure to recognize this elementary principle is responsible for much unsound generalization.” What his peers and scientists concluded from his findings is an interesting definition of sex (or in modern terminology sexuality). Sex cannot be solely determined by the type of gonads one possesses. It would be erroneous to ascertain “male” or “female” character to someone based on the levels of hormones in their blood stream. It can only be determined by the reproductive action of the system as whole and not a few tissue systems. The flip side to this theory is that reproductive maturity is a pre requisite of reproductive action. Hence, the sexuality of infant or for that matter zygote cannot be ascertained. The possible answer to this riddle is the fact that zygote in early stages of development has the ability to give rise to male or female individual depending on the genetic or endocrine factors present. So it can essentially be considered bisexual. Thus an interesting definition of sexuality was emerging. In the next issue we shall take this discussion forward, elaborating the problems faced by psychoanalysts. Till then happy reading.
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Leisure Events
-Agnivo Niyogi
M
ore than a year has passed since the historic verdict of the Delhi High Court. Society does not have seemed to evolve. The word homosexual still raises eyebrows, voices turn into whispers, and attitudes change to cold stares. But hope still lives on that one day things will change. The right to life of dignity will be restored to large masse that has been forced to stay within their closets for so long. With the zeal of celebration as well as strength to protest, Bangalore held its third pride march this year. The history of pride march can be dated back to the Stonewall riots in 1969 when raided and harassed by police the sexual minority decided to stand up for their rights and face the oppression with might hitherto unknown. Ever since, pride marches have been organised in many cities spanning the globe. India witnessed its first march a decade earlier in Calcutta and now the fire has spread to cities big and small, from the national capital to small cities like Coimbatore. The pride march was aimed to challenge society's notions of “normal” and “abnormal”, to question what are seen as traditional behaviour fitting the two “established” concepts of sex: male and female. The
pride march was aimed at demanding legal rights and also a demand for a change of social structure – a society bereft of discrimination, violence, prejudice, a society where an individual will not be targeted and harassed because of his preferences. Bangalore Pride March was organised by CSMR, a coalition of sexual minority groups, human rights groups and other allied groups. A month long festivity in the form of Bangalore Queer Habba met a fitting end with the Pride March attended by not less than 1000 individuals. On the wintry afternoon of 28 November 2010, it seemed nature too was celebrating with the queer community. The cool weather acted as a stimulant for the adrenalin driven people who were already basking in the fun. Roughly after 3pm the journey started off from Tulasi Park near Majestic. With placards held high, swinging to the beats of the drums, marched along these people, some draped in the rainbow, some hidden behind the masks, some sporting their pride. But all of them had one thing in common- the zeal, the enthusiasm. The spirit was hard to miss, these men and women who have to lead a life of anonymity three hundred
and sixty four days a year, came out together to celebrate love, freedom and show the society their might. People from all walks of life participated in this great march. Boundaries were erased, distances scaled down, connections made, efforts made to walk that extra mile towards love. Class barriers, social barriers, barriers separating genders were all transcended. Not just sexual minorities but friends and families joined the walk too. Curious onlookers could not help but marvel at the spirit. A big smile on the face of a little girl passing by with her father could suffice as evidence enough of the extent of the march's reach. Marching through Anand Rao Circle, Freedom Park, Corporation Circle, the march culminated at Banappa Park. The sun too played a company to the queer walkers, setting a little while after the march reached its final destination. The march was followed by some inspiring speeches by leaders of various support groups, a heart rendering rendition of “Bawra Mann” and of course coming together of people to celebrate their sexuality. Just like the poet has said: “On the seashore of endless world, ideas meet”.
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Leisure Events
To float or not to float, that became a question, says Aditya Bondyopadhyay who marched at the Delhi Pride March
T
he pride march had just begun in Delhi this last 28th of November 2010, and the entire colourful effervescence of Delhi's Queer crowd and their supporters was out on the streets for all to witness. A rather colourfully decked float on a three wheeler tempo truck with nice gayish pink skirting and a garland of
rainbow coloured balloons started following the procession. That was when one of the organisers of the pride went right ahead and stopped the float and demanded that it not be part of the parade. The sponsor of the float became embroiled in a heated discussion and soon the matter was resolved wherein the
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balloon garland was taken off and carried in the procession and the float disappeared somewhere. Why is this important to mention here? Because the Delhi Pride is truly a reflection of the community getting involved and coming together as a community. To ensure that
Pic: Aditya Bondyopadhyay www.gaylaxymag.com
Leisure Events the onus of the pride in not taken away from the community by the overt support of any sponsor, the Delhi Pride committee has consistently refused to let any kind of organizational logo or banner in the pride. Leave aside any commercial entity, even queer organisations in Delhi are not allowed to bring their banner. This is one occasion when the entire community gets together with their supporters, as a community, and marches together, forgetting for one day the power dynamics, the political equations, the identity issues, and the funding quagmires that beset queer activism. All the funds required for the pride are raised by the community, and all the work is done by volunteerism. Anyone can be a member of the organizing and anyone can volunteer to do any of the work. And like any organic structure, it's often chaotic, but at the penultimate hour, it all falls nicely in place. On this third pride that Delhi celebrated, more than 4000 people turned up and marched in celebration of their difference, of their queer lives, and of their sexuality. They also marched without affiliations, as simply queer people or their supporters. And they marched in solidarity with those who have not been lucky to have the same gains in queer rights that we have enjoyed in India since the time the Delhi High Court by its verdict of July 2 nd 2009 decriminalised homosexuality by reading down Section 377 of the IPC. This community ownership is
refreshing and it is getting noticed. When I posted pictures of the pride on facebook a friend from Canada wrote back commenting that the community visibly seems to be the real owners of pride in Delhi, while in Toronto, business floats take up most of the parade. I think in their ideological rigidity the Delhi Pride Committee has hit upon a winning formula. The community does their own thing and therefore creates an attachment towards pride that transcends the pecuniary and other benefits that commercialization brings forth. This is also a great equalizer. When no one can show off the labels and logos, all are equal in the march. The sheer democratization of the pride in this manner ensures that every strata can feel they belong and they belong equally. It is refreshing! And the growing numbers in every subsequent pride show that the sense of belonging is growing. The sheer numbers who are shedding their masks gives rise to hope and shows that more are becoming comfortable with themselves. The families and friends are now coming out in droves in support. And the parade resembles the celebration it is, with a feel of the Indian 'Baraat' to the whole show. And the queer community of the Delhi, many of whom would never get married themselves, are the 'baraatis' for the day. This year the parade started from the Tolstoy-Barakhamba crossing and ended in JantarMantar (Delhi's everlasting protest venue). There were
small speeches by activists including gay Nepali MP Sunil Babu Pant, who was visiting India as part of an official delegation and had come to show his support. A grandmother spoke in support of her grandchild who is gay and that was the real moving moment of the day. There was a minute's silence for those who have sacrificed for queer rights issues in India and abroad, and a candle light vigil. In all the mood was festive throughout and the community came out to celebrate, feel one with a group, erase their sense of isolation, and make their presence felt with aplomb. One journalist asked me if there was a possibility that the Supreme Court might reverse the verdict of the High Court and re-criminalise homosexuality. I told her that the theoretical possibility of such an adverse judgement is always there but that we will maintain faith in the judiciary. I then looked around myself and asked her to do the same. I asked back if the spirit she sees unleashed on the street that day could be curbed by a judgement. Her answer, “No, the genie is out of the bottle, it cannot be put back in!!� So when it comes to the question of 'to float or not to float', we have the best deal in Delhi. We shun the commercial floats so that the community itself can float on this day. And carry the sense of freedom and emancipation from this day to the rest of the days of their lives. All that I can say is three cheers to that...
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Pics Courtesy: Aditya Bondyopadhyay
Events
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Events
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Leisure Events Leisure
DIALOGUES Agnivo Niyogi reports about the recently concluded Film Festival in Kolkata
F
ilm is one of the most effective mediums of sharing one's thoughts. Ideas portrayed on the big screen can effortlessly be communicated to a large audience and can be perceived by every viewer differently from other. Fleeting moments captured by the camera can bring life to moving images. It was opportune that Kolkata witnessed a film and video festival which shared the idea of unity, brotherhood and the struggle for rights which is one's fundamental constitutional inheritance. This is the 4th year that Max Mueller Bhavan in Kolkata played host to Dialogues-the annual LGBT film and video festival. A meeting ground for friends, a cup of coffee, brainstorming sessions, workshop, catching up on the days gone by and of course, making the presence felt; on the sidelines of the screening of some heart rendering feature and documentary films, the three days (19 t h – 21 s t November) were no less than a grand Durga Festival for which the city is renowned the world over. Organised by Sappho for Equality and Pratyay Gender Trust, the fest was opened by Sarmistha Sarkar, in
charge of Cultural programmes at the Max Mueller Bhavan. Opening ceremony was graced by Baul recital, words with u n d e r c u r r e n t s o f homosexuality. The first film to be screened was Santosh Sivan's National Award winning Tamil film Navraas, which chronicled the struggle of a woman trapped in a man's body. The tales of transvestites and their yearning to marry the mythical Aravan was well portrayed in the film. The festival also saw the screening of a movie by Amol Palekar, which was made way back in 1996 but was never released in India. The film explores the relationship between a woman and an older transgendered actor, played by the late award winning actor Nirmal Pandey (of Bandit Queen fame). Pandey holds an extremely unique record for winning a Best Actress award, at the 1997 France's Valenciennes Film Festival for his portrayal of a transvestite in Daayra. He shared the Best Actress award with the female lead of the film Sonali Kulkarnii at the French Film Festival. The festival also saw s o m e w e l l m a d e documentaries on transgender, gays, lesbians and bisexuals; their trials and tribulations in a
homophobic society. While Be Like Others showcased highly feminine men attracted to members of the same sex, yet forced to live in secret for fear of retribution, a generation of young Iranian men adopting an identity legally allowed to them—transsexual. IranianAmerican filmmaker Tanaz Eshaghian accompanies several young men as they contemplate and prepare for their transformation, and then follows them into and out of s u r g e r y. I n t i m a t e a n d unflinching, Be Like Others was a fascinating look at those on the fringes of Iranian life—those looking for acceptance through the most radical of means. It's my life - A South Asian Queer Story in America is first ever documentary that creates a dialogue between Gay and Straight South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sri Lankan and more) community in USA. This documentary was an attempt to create a positive visibility of the South Asian GLBT community and exposing many of the issues faced by them culturally at home far from home. The GLBT Community has unique challenges as a Minority within the minority
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Events Leisure Leisure community and also faces many of the same issues the South Asian community in general faces in the states as a minority community. A m o r, a s h o r t documentary by Raka Dutta, explored the textures of a relationship between two young men from Calcutta as they fall in love, and deal with the different aspects of 'living together'. Little Mermaid was a gem among the short docu feature films screened. A little girl might have an image of a woman who she aspires to become, but growing up, she learns how society expects women to be, which makes her u n e a s y. T h r o u g h t h e conversation between two women who have successful careers in films, the program unfolds the built-up feelings of frustration amongst the women in India. The festival not only screened films from India but rare artefacts from, if I may say so, Mecca of filmdom Germany and Italy were also exhibited. Different From the Others was the first major gay-themed film ever made, and is still a work of genuine emotional power. Banned soon after its release in 1919, later burned by the Nazis
A scene from More Than A Friend
and believed to be lost for decades, it only surfaced in a fragmented print found in the Ukraine. The film, painstakingly restored, using newlydiscovered film segments, still photos, and inter-titles gleaned from documents (including censorship records) found in several different archives, has at last achieved its fullest possible form. The film itself emerges, even in this (lovingly) cobbled-together form, as striking in its groundbreaking arguments for the dignity and naturalness of gay people. It was co-written by legendary gay-rights pioneer, Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, who also has a cameo role. Even more, it comes across as a deeply moving story of two people – two men – who love each other despite the persecution of an intolerant society. The festival closed with the film More Than a Friend, directed by Debalina and produced by Sappho for Equality. The film explores the
DIALOGUES FILM FESTIVAL, KOLKATA
Different From the Others (Anders Als Die Andern)
lives and outlooks of these four characters in the context of a growing awareness about same-sex relationships in India. The film is interspersed with real-life interviews of people belonging to various sections of the society, who express their views on many related concerns and share their experiences of humiliation and anxiety. The film does not attempt at answering all the questions it raises, but presents the multifaceted nature of the debates around the subject. In a world where society still perceives homosexuals as aliens, where lives are still sacrificed in the name of love, where the right that dares to speak its name is silenced without raising many eyebrows, an effort like this film festival is like a candle, which lights a thousand others without its life being shortened. A forum for ideas to meet, voices to unite, hands to herald spring in unison, this festival also tries to hand out keys to thousands of closets in the sleeping city. Inspiring, thought provoking, and honest movies like those shown during the screenings, must like wildfire be spread. From the humble maid in the house to the man in the BMW, everyone must be part of this Dialogue.
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Leisure Events Leisure
KASHISH IS BACK! CALL FOR ENTRIES It is time once again to get ready for India's largest mainstream queer film festival: KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival. KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film Festival 2011, to be held in April 2011, intends to be BIGGER, BOLDER & BETTER. We call upon filmmakers, both in India and across the world, to submit shorts, features and documentaries that highlight / focus on gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender characters, communities and expressions. Requirements* Submissions should be of interest to gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, transgendered people. * Films should be submitted only on DVD. We will not be able to preview online. * Films / videos of any length and in any language are accepted. All films, other than in English, should be subtitled in English. * Each film must be accompanied with a duly filled entry form. Submissions without completed entry form will not be accepted. * Please note THERE IS NO ENTRY FEE for submission. * We believe in investing all our resources in showcasing the films to the best possible extent, hence NO SCREENING FEE would be paid to filmmakers / distributors.
CLOSING DATE FOR ENTRIES IS MONDAY, JANUARY 3, 2011 Entry forms are available on the festival's website www.mumbaiqueerfest.com and blog http://kashishmiqff.blogspot.com or write to kashish.miqff@gmail.com 27 Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Dec 2010
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Current Affairs Leisure Leisure
QUEERS in the IDIOT BOX
Gay characters have become must-haves in Indian TV series, but not all of them are sensible portrayal of the community, finds out Avishek
T
he queer community has been getting a pie of its existence in the Indian cinema for over several years now, albeit on the lines of gay parody. But the depiction of the alternate sexuality in cinema's smaller cousin, the idiot box, in India is no less than an evolving story in itself. One of the earliest forms of appearance of the community happened way back in the early nineties or late eighties of last century when we saw the mythological character 'Shikhandi', played by Kanwarjit Paintal (better known as Paintal) in one of the most viewed TV series of the world-Mahabharat. The popular scene depicts Shikhandi, who in his earlier birth was a woman Amba, appearing before Bhisma-the supreme commander of the Kauravas. Amba was insulted by the eternal godfather in Mahabharata, Bhisma, and she vowed to take revenge. Bhisma recognizing Shikhandi, refused to fight against a woman and eventually laid down his arms. The character made reappearance in the mid-nineties when there were several reruns of the same TV series. With the advent of a new century the Indian TV audience
began to be bombarded by the saas-bahu (mother-in-lawdaughter-in-law) saga from the production house managed by Ekta Kapoor. Amidst the plot of conspiracies and counterconspiracies of these TV shows, one of the most known faces in the queer community, Bobbie Darling made a short but very effective appearance in Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu T h i . T h e c h a ra c t e r s h e depicted was more on the hilarious side though. As the decade progressed, the commercial aspect of TV viewing in the form of TRPs began to rule the roost. The reality shows became a part and parcel of TV channels to garner more TRPs. It is in one of these reality shows, the first season of Bigg Boss that was aired on Sony TV to be exact, Bobbie Darling made an appearance. Thanks to her appearance in both the TV shows mentioned above, she became a house-hold name in India. One of the notable presences of the queer community has come not from north India but down south in Tamil Nadu. Rose, in her early thirties is India's first transgender TV talk show host. She has hosted Ippadikku Rose on Vijay TV, owned by the
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media mogul, Rupert Murdoch. She is widely regarded as Oprah Winfrey of the south. A few TV ads have appeared to highlight the progressive concept the queer community is so much struggling for. A Hindustan Times TV ad shows a curious but homophobic man being hit on the head by a newspaper after seeing two homosexual men exchanging a romantic moment at a restaurant. This abrupt beating on the head with the help of a newspaper is being done to shed one's homophobic attitude. In the last few years, the appearance of at least one person from the queer community in any reality show has almost become a regular feature. Last year we saw the renowned Hijra activist, Laxmi Narayan Tripathi, appearing in Sach Ka Saamna, which was aired on Star Plus, to face a volley of questions concerning her personal life from the host Rajeev Khandelwal. Her sheer grit and the revelation of her well guarded life created a huge interest across India. She reappeared earlier this year in another reality show, Raaz Pichhle Janam Ka. This show tries to portray one's life before the present life. She revealed that in her earlier birth she was born as a man in the year 1879 www.gaylaxymag.com
Current Affairs Leisure Leisure in Egypt. She had rebelled against her society's norms then and ventured into sea. Disowned by her parents then, she met with her death in a ship wreck. She conveyed to the presenter, Ravi Kishen, that before coming to her present life she had requested the Almighty to give her present form to her, to understand what it takes to be different from the rest. Although the veracity of this reality show is still unknown, the presence of a queer is really a point to reckon with. Since last year, Bigg Boss, the Indian version of Big Brother, seems to have adopted a stand to keep a queer in the house for every season. It was the turn of the celebrity fashion designer, Rohit Verma previous year. The bithching and bickering he unleashed upon the celebrity c o u p l e o f Ta n a a z a n d Bhakhtyar made him one of the leading TRP pullers of the show, along with filmmaker Kamal Rashid Khan. The scene in which Rohit is punished to spend a considerable part of a day inside a huge cage hung from a crane as punishment for his misdeeds in the house attracted a considerable amount of viewers. The reality show in its present season, which started on 3rd October, made Ali Saleem, best known by his alter ego Begum Nawazish Ali, enter the house. Although Begum has now been evicted, his presence inside in the house was not dull, if not the most entertaining. A few months ago another reality show,
Emotional Athyachar, showed Bobby Darling breaking from her boy friend after getting to see his infidelity. Recently, it also featured an episode where a young gay man, in his early twenties, broke-up from his boy-friend, who simply did not believe in a monogamous relationship. The episode almost ended in a violent fight between the two men. The first season of Axe Ur Ex on Channel-V featured a gay-relationship in its season finale. The participant, gay by sexuality, made his ex-beau almost cry by enacting a couple of pranks with the help of the program's producers. R e c e n t l y, t h e controversial reality show of Rakhi Ka Insaaf, aired on Imagine TV, gave a chance to Shri-a queer from UP who was beaten by his own family members, to speak about his sexuality. The episode ended with him being accepted by his
parents, although his elder brother seemed to have boycotted him. Unlike these reality shows, some popular TV shows continue to portray the queer community on the lines of the same old gay parody. Recently, an episode of Baat Hamaari Pakki Hai on Sony TV showed the hero getting attracted towards a man under the spell of a magic trick and almost ending up kissing the man in front of his in-laws and parents. The mother of the hero even insists on him being treated by a doctor to treat any level of homosexuality he has. Whatever it is, a scripted or a gay parody storyline, Indian TV seems to have caught the section of queer community as its viewers. Hopefully, we would see the positive aspect of the community being shown in the Indian TV in the coming months.
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Leisure Relationship
TO LOVE, With LOVE Planning to gift your hubby something and can't figure out what he would like? Rohan Noronha is here with tips to bail you out of the situation
T
his article is aimed at all the bisexual and TOP gay men out there who need to know what the versatile and bottom gay men want!! Yes, we are talking business here; we mean nice pleasantries and gifts for that romantic evening out. We deserve the best, after all the pandemonium and not forgetting the hard work of being a super human, making a small demand is just as fair. So read on boys, this article will tell you what we would like to be surprised with and something that you could do YOURSELF, to make us feel happy and proud of being with YOU!! If your guy likes nature and gardening, you may want to gift him tree saplings. Now when he holds it, you do the digging in the garden, and help him carefully plant that sapling. This isn't something to decorate your garden with, rather it would be a symbol of love which would grow over the years, literally. Watch how your love blooms and with
every flower that comes on the tree, take is as a blessing for another wonderful year to come. You could also try gifting paper items. Who doesn't love pampering in any form and manner? Express your love in words, write a long love letter, but don't bore him with copy pasted stuff, be genuine!!! You don't need to be Shakespeare for crying out loud, he chose YOU, remember!! Yes, you can take a little help from the books and authors, but it counts to your thoughts at the end of the day. Frame this love letter and keep it by his bedstand, so he remembers every morning and night how much you love him. Make an anniversary album, fill it in with more than fifty pages of every little moment of the two of you caught on camera. Your vacations, your anniversary, your first investment together, your first date, your first kiss...you get the point!! Make catchy titles on each page and leave the last few pages
empty, he sure would be eager to know what you want him to fill in there. Let that be a surprise for both of you. Romantic and unique, isn't it? Get his favourite pictures of his early years painted by a local artist using water colours. Hide it in the bedroom where he sleeps, leave small notes on his table for him to discover it. He sure would be surprised and love you more, But make sure you have his best pictures and not what you think is funny and nice. Finally, you may want to go out and get small but cute items customised for your guy, such as a fortune cookie which would have your words written inside. Or even tickets to an opera or the theatre. Vacation package for two doesn't seem bad either, or maybe, some much needed time he needs at a spa. But in the end nothing beats diamonds, because Marilyn Monroe said, “Diamonds are a girl's best friend�. All the best and happy gift hunting!!
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Leisure Relationship
STRESS AND RELATIONSHIPS: STRIKING A FINE BALANCE Agnivo Niyogi is back with tips on how to keep stress at bay in a relationship
C
ivilization is moving ahead at jet speed. The ever increasing rat race and zeal to move ahead of others have left us with very little time with ourselves. But what set us apart from other creatures on this earth are our emotions and feelings. And in an age of 2 minute noodles, stress has taken the form of an epidemic that is plaguing relationships. So, today I would like to share with you guys some advice on how to overcome stress at work and not let it create a wall between you and your partner that can never be broken down. One of the major challenges today in relationships is to find t i m e f o r t h e p a r t n e r. Deadlines, assignments, working till late night on presentations leave us with very little time to cuddle up with our loved ones and spend some quality time together. Even when work is not stalking
us, the vestiges of the previous ones hardly let us live in peace. And most often than not, it is the partner who has to bear the brunt.
Stress: Course
Collision
Time is an asset. Priceless like many wish to call it. It is the best investment a man can make in a relationship. In an earlier issue I had discussed how spending time with your partner can really take the relationship to a new level. A dinner in the weekend or a
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Leisure Relationship bedrooms even before you know. It becomes even more important to communicate (and communicate well) regularly to avoid a showdown of a magnanimous scale. Stress at work affects your relation on bed too. The performance takes a dip and your files get to spend more time with you than possibly your partner. The disability to perform heightens the anxiety in a man. Sex as we know is a good stress buster, failing in that too is sure to open a Pandora's Box in your personal domain. A successful relationship requires the participation of two individuals. Alone, it becomes a liability. Often, we tend to bring office to home. With all the baggage. This paves the way for a face-off. The choice between career and love is always a tough call. But striking a fine balance is easy enough if we are willing. It is often said that true love is not slave to gestures. Those who say that are blessed, for a vast majority, a small initiative can work wonders and lack of one takes you back by ages.
Stress: Two worlds movie together can really make the week long experience at office lose steam. But things are a bit difficult when both the partners are working (and in a gay relation it is definitely so). Schedules which don't match, rough weather at office, ego tussles creep into your
Easier said than done, but a definite success tip is to separate the professional and personal lives. Work at office and working on your partner at home would keep both your boss at work and home happy. I do not know how you can satisfy your boss at work but I
know exactly how you can please the one at home. Just be with him. That is the best you can do. And if you cannot, then make your presence felt. Make the best of both worlds. Never neglect one for the other. You just need to work up your schedules. After all, who does not enjoy the warm hug when you return home from office?
For those who do not live together.....yet We can thank technology for they have made it easier for us to be in touch with our love almost 24X7. Whenever you feel down, stressed out or overworked, just take some time out to text your boyfriend, remember, if he truly loves you, he will always be there for you. Remember, the distance is already a hurdle in your love, do not aggrandise the issues by venting out your frustration on your beau. Pour in your heart but do not unnecessarily make him a scapegoat. And TALK. TALK everyday even if you run out of conversation topics. Life is a journey which comes with its series of ups and downs. The presence of a company makes the joy ride called life enjoyable. It is up to us to enjoy the lifelong camaraderie or get buoyed down by the untimely tides that wreck our voyage. The decision is yours. Someone has to take the first step. Let that be you...
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Lifestyle
Aditya Bondyopadhyay tries to resolve the problems plaguing you in your daily life
1) I am a homosexual man, out to my friends. I had a very good friend, who was like my soul mate. We took our friendship to a higher level by consummating our love for each other, however, he is straight. And for the past few months he hasn't been on talking terms with me, and has been constantly avoiding me. He has a girl in his life too. So is he bisexual? Was his passion for me just a reflection of his carnal desires? How do I understand what went wrong and how can I get back a good friend (leaving aside the physical intimacy)? – Anshuman, Delhi Dear Anshuman, If you notice your question, you have at one point mentioned that this friend of yours is straight. In other words, you knew that there were women in his life to whom he was attracted. Then you go on to describe that you are very close in a non-sexual way which gradually evolved into something sexual. At this point you introduce the fact of another girl in the life of this person, and then raise the question of his possible bisexuality. To me all of this seems like you are groping for a justification for what happened in your life, which very clearly has left you at least a bit traumatised. You need to understand that not only is our sexuality fluid, but how we act in terms of performing sex is also fluid and experimental. Therefore, it is quite possible for a straight person to experiment with same-sex sex, especially if the person is comfortable with the other person with whom he does this experimentation. The fact that the sexual activity has taken place does not in any way change or alter either the sexual self perception or the sexual orientation of the individual. Your friend clearly was very comfortable with you, and he experimented sexually with you.
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Lifestyle I will not make a value judgement as to whether this is good or bad. But I can certainly tell you that every time a person commits any sexual act, there are psychological ramifications. It is possible that your friend may either be feeling ashamed, or guilty, or maybe even self disgusted at what he did. This could be the reason that he is avoiding you. One other thing that could be playing on his mind is the fact that any interaction with you might lead to demands for sex from your end, which may possibly make him uncomfortable as well.
necessarily fit into any description, and one is free to choose and meander and flow between and adopt and reject descriptions as one goes along based on what makes a person most comfortable at that point in time. It is an individual's choice, and it is an individual's right to make that choice. Nothing, including peer pressure emanating from a community (in this case the community of online cruisers), should be allowed to interfere with this choice and this right. Having said that, I must also mention that every right has a corresponding responsibility, which need to be exercised too. And in this case the responsibility is to try and understand where the other is coming from.
But like most things in life the solution usually is openness, honesty, and the truth. For this to happen, I suggest that you leave aside any expectations that you have from this friend and approach him with an open mind and tell him that you want to talk to him. In this discussion before you probe what is bugging your friend, you should make clear that you are not making sexual demands on him, but want to have him back as a platonic friend that he cherished. If these ground rules are established at the beginning, I hope you would be able to rationally discuss all of these issues with him; clarify any doubts or misunderstandings between you, and carry on from there with a relationship based on mutual understanding, mutual trust, and mutual honesty.
Yo u h ave m e n t i o n e d t h a t yo u a r e uncomfortable with the notion of anal sex. That is perfectly okay. However, the space that you have chosen to interact with others is usually inhabited by those who are not so uncomfortable. Therefore for them to speak the language of "top" or "bottom" is perfectly normal and you have a responsibility within the space to understand this fact and respect it. However, respect does not at all mean that you have to give up your own individual choice and conform to these standards of top and bottom.
I am a 22 year old gay man. However, whenever I log onto any dating site or start chatting with some guy online, the very question of 'top' or 'bottom' disturbs me. Any physical intimacy that I have had till now never involved anal sex. I seem to be uncomfortable with that and it makes it more confusing for me. How do I know whether I am a top or bottom? Does one have to necessarily fit into that description? -Yash, Bangalore
Therefore what do you do? I suggest that you make clear at the very beginning of any interaction on an online dating forum that you are interested in body sex and that you are not into anal sex. If you begin with that you can clearly mention that you do not know whether you are top or bottom. Moreover if you do this, it is likely that many people who were only interested in anal sex will not want to interact with you; but the positive side is that those who do would do so with full knowledge of all the facts and therefore would be the very people you would be interested in! I hope the solution works for you.
Dear Yash, The short answer is no! One does not have to
Aditya Bondyopadhyay is a gay rights activist and lawyer, who has done a lot of counselling as part of his community mobilising efforts.
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Leisure Lifestyle
- Louis Jonval
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Leisure Leisure Personals
A CHAPTER FROM
MY LIFE -Vivek
I
was a 15yr old teenager travelling from my aunts' place in a bus. I had to switch two buses in order to reach my destination. I was tall, of decent build,
completely unaware of the things that happened around me in the outside world. At the time of this incident, I was very fond of wearing threefourth pants and was wearing
one on that fateful day too. I was (and am) a complete music addict hooked to my music player while travelling, and had earphones plugged in my ears. I was also reading
Pic: Ambarish Anand Khavnekar
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Leisure Leisure Personals the morning paper while travelling in this crowded bus. I am not sure how many of you have travelled in the buses down south, but they're generally very crowded and shake all the way like in a bullock cart ride. This bus I was travelling in was also terribly crowded to such an extent that I was caught unaware by what was happening around me. There was this guy in his midtwenties, standing next to me resting on the pole. This guy apparently had been eyeing me for a while and with a lot of courage slid his hand onto my legs. I didn't realize anything then. This encouraged him and he went ahead to feel me up. Still preoccupied with what I was doing, I didn't realize there was a guy fondling me. This went on for a little while and he started groping me heavily. Only then did I feel it and shocked by what was happening, I pushed him down and abused him verbally. He did keep quiet then and walked to the front of the bus. My destination arrived in a while and I got down from the bus. Much to my surprise, this guy got down and so did 3 others, who then started following me at a slow pace. Terrified at what was happening with me, I started walking faster into any road that came my way, though I was unfamiliar with the roads of this town. These
‘’
The incident left me traumatized for months but at the end of it, it lead me to think about the incident over and over again guys now gained on me as they increased their pace. Petrified at this, I entered a small lane and ran, not realizing that it was a dead end! I didn't even have a mobile back then to call up my cousin and ask him to help me out. These guys now pinned me down, throwing fists at me and abusing me in Tamil. I thought this was the end of life for me. These guys were so drained and desperate in life, that they tore my clothes apart, took out their tools for me to service. There I was, sitting in some lonely alley, almost naked in front of four well-built guys with their tools out of their trousers waiting to screw me over. I tried to scream out but alas, they shut my mouth. I was forced to touch them a bit and while I revolted, they'd decided to penetrate me one by one. Now I started crying out of fear and agony thinking I would bleed to death in that very lane. But some guys who were passing by that lane came to my rescue and chased away these guys.
Believe me; I haven't narrated this incident for its sexual content or for the sake of erotica, but to throw light on how gays like us sometimes behave when given a chance and bait. This incident left me traumatized for months but at the end of it, it lead me to think about the incident over and over again. Then I started pondering over one issue. Even though I was terrified at what was happening, it seemed to me like I did like the physical contact and experience that I had that day. It was only the force and sudden outburst that had affected me. I then started exploring the gay side of mine and came to realize I wasn't interested in girls but was attracted towards guys alone. This incident gave me insights on two issues. Firstly, on how barbarically guys can behave at times, thinking only through their penises and not their heads; and secondly, that this was just the way I had to find out I was gay. Every guy has some means by which he discovers his sexuality. Some by force, while a few others on their own.
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Raza, a reader from Lahore, shares his thoughts Before you read any further, I need to tell you that I AM GAY. I have always been a great supporter of gay/lesbian rights movements. I used to share the same sentiments as one hears from every one around us. I also wanted them (straights) to recognize and respect me for what I am; gay i.e. I was full of grievances and complaints and at times angry too. I used to fight with God too for creating me the way I am. I used to ask Him why did He not create me as straight, for my life would have been a lot simpler and easier.
I used to think for hours and hours, trying to figure out the reason for being created, as nothing else around me seemed as useless as me. And that's what led me to think more and more that if even a creature like a microscopic bacteria is not useless, even when the snakes play such an important role in upholding nature's eco system, why on earth can a gay be useless and without a purpose? This prompted me to search for what being a gay actually means. The meanings that are actually meaningful. I realized that being gay was neither a
disorder, nor a disease, nor are they made for what they appear to be in our society. Being gay is actually a blessing, if only one can understand and appreciate those blessings. They are the people born with intense energy, feelings and creativity. And like every one else, gays / lesbians also need to channelise their energies and creative abilities into the right direction. Since they have far more intense energy (that is embedded in the form of strong sexual urge), they loose control and fail to channelise them correctly and end up
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Leisure Personals being sex freaks only. Looking for sex, sex and only sex. If a straight does not carry his role in the bed into his daily life, why do gays need to carry their personal life into public? Even when we talk of straights, men and women who present themselves as a sexual object are not at all regarded highly in the society. Simply because it is wrong and unethical to behave like a sperm, while you are a complete human. A human wants to get recognized and appreciated for his human qualities i.e. his/her i n t e l l i g e n c e , c r e a t i v i t y, sensitivity, care and respect for self and towards others. But it is so shocking to see that gays/lesbians wish to be recognized and “respected� for t h e i r s e x u a l i t y o n l y. Something that is entirely personal, only a very small part of life which is limited to their bed rooms. But they not only bring their personal life into public, but also wish to be respected for that. When they don't respect their own personal lives nor understand the sanctity of one's private life, why and how on the face of earth do they have the audacity to expect others to respect them? Gays and lesbians are different from straights in their bed room life only, while in the daily life, they are supposed to be better as they are far more blessed people. But it is so shocking that they only emphasise on the physical aspect, thereby disturbing the very delicate balance and harmony of the universe. No matter what you do in your bed, what role you play, you
are supposed to be a perfectly normal human being in your daily public life. We need to understand that when nature gives us more powers, it also expects us to show more responsibility. We need to understand our role in nature, we are here to create not to demolish, we are here to maintain a balance, not to cause imbalance. We are here to strengthen the natural chain, not to act as the weakest link. We are supposed to understand our uniqueness and thereby define our roles and contribute towards the nature accordingly. We are here to become a part of the natural flow through our unique approach; we are not here to become an obstacle. So many of us are lost in to sex only, we seem to have lost the ability to appreciate human feelings and qualities. We are only into fetishes, body stats and sizes etc. And then we complain to the whole world around us for not respecting us. Until and unless we don't understand, recognize, respect, love and behave ourselves, no one else is ever going to do that. Besides, why at all do we wish to be recognized for our sexuality alone? Don't we have any other quality to be recognized for? Why not as good humans, that we already are? I am not saying that we should not have sex, that's a basic human need. But we need to change our approach towards sex. I am against prostitution, where we do sex without feelings, only to satisfy our bodies. We should be doing sex
as an expression of love and appreciation towards our soul mate or a friend or at least someone we know, not just someone we see, where our interactions are based upon intuition and not instincts. We should connect as humans and not animals, every interaction must be based on mutual respect and trust. But here we have derived so many new terminologies, threesomes, groups, orgies etc, and yet surprisingly enough, we expect respect. If you are not running after bodies, if you are living a normal human life, if you have certain personal controls and morals, you simply don't need any thing from the outside. It's all within your own self. As an established fact, both religiously and socially, doing sex or sexual acts, propagating sex or sexual symbols or signs, display of sexual interests and behaviours in public have always been regarded as some thing strictly immoral and wrong. Then why do gays/lesbians insist on displaying their personal and sexual interests in public and yet expect to be regarded and respected?? We need to change our identity, from a bunch of sexual freaks to a community that is more sensible, intelligent and creative. That has more contribution towards society than any one else. It's not them but us, responsible for our miseries and problems. The day we recognize ourselves, we'll no longer need their recognition.
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Leisure Personals
- Sukhdeep Singh
D
unno Y... Na Jane Kyun seems to be a very apt title for the movie for more reasons than one. The movie runs into censor trouble, and we can say Dunno Y..Na Jaane Kyun our censors behave like this. Unsure about the response that would be received from the Indian audience, the producer and director can say Dunno Y.. the audience gave such a response. And of course, we can always sayDunno Y.. Na Jaane Kyun the movie had an exclusive Mumbai release, or that I am gay, or, people around me are homophobes etc etc.
But wait, is Dunno Y (and I am not referring to the movie here) really the answer? The movie is surely evoking some strong response from society in many ways, be it in the form of censor trouble, the youth wing of BJP's threats to the cast and crew, or the various comments that get left down in the newspaper reports about the movie. Well, in a way this was expected, isn't it? But what's more disturbing is the response of “us” as a community to these homophobic reactions. Let me go by a smaller example to make things clearer. I was reading a report on one of the news site about the movie, and started reading the comments that were posted below it. I was so shocked to read the kind of homophobic comments that had been left, some saying that such a movie should never have been made in the first place, others showering all kinds of abuses. But the disturbing thing was that there were just too few comments left in support by any gay person. If such homophobic people could be so vocal, why have “we” remained silent
there? It wouldn't have taken much effort to counter their points for that matter, and had “we” done that, at least such people would have got to know that this minority still forms a huge chunk and can't be ignored, or for that matter, that they can't simply go on abusing “us” and escape easily. It won't be incorrect to say that “we” spend a lot of time online, but it seems “we” are too content to remain hooked to such sites as Planetromeo and Manjam for our “pleasures”. In fact, when the BJP members gave threats to the cast of Dunno Y, or censors seemed to have acted based upon “morality”, did we as a community do anything to register our protest? A peaceful protest, a candle light march… anything? Compare this to the (in)famous Mangalore Pub case when Sri Ram Sene members had beaten up girls for drinking in a pub, terming it against Indian culture. Women h a v e t ra d i t i o n a l l y b e e n oppressed by men and denied the status they deserve. But this time around, they decided not to take it lying down. A few women decided to send “pink
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chaddis” to Sene chief Muthallik, and soon other women also joined in, and before anyone knew, it had become a nationwide movement. On 14th Feb, the Sene chief probably had so many underwears that he could have distributed it to whole of Mangalore. Even these women could have remained indifferent to this incident and turned a blind eye thinking it as another case of female harassment in this male dominated society. But they acted together to let it be known that they have had enough, that there was nothing wrong in women d r i n k i n g i n a p u b, o r
celebrating valentine's day. True, we have pride march where we turn up… and let it be known to the country that we exist. But is it enough to just let others know that “we exist”. While such annual events are important, what is equally important is that we raise our voice when we see such homophobic things happening around us, and come out in support. May be we keep waiting for some organization or activist to lodge protests. But let me tell you, the brain behind the “pink chaddi” campaign wasn't any activist, neither were all those women who sent pink underwears to the
Sene chief. They were simple women who learnt that if they had to live a respectful life, they would have to act themselves and not just remain content by reading Shobhaa De's column in some magazine about how wrong it was to attack women that day. So the next time you read such a comment, or hear someone threatening some other person, make sure you protest. There are various ways to do so. But act! And if you still remain silent, then Dunno... who is to be blamed for our deplorable condition – the ignorant and homophobic individual, or you - for being a mute spectator.
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Leisure Leisure
- Rohan Noronha Hi All, Hope you had a great Diwali, I did, with my folks, when I went to visit them in Pune. So here is your divination. Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
Cancer June 21 - July 22
December will be quite mentally taxing my dear Aries, internal turmoil and confusion prevails. You would be a little whimsical and your mindset will be in a flux, especially when it comes to decisions. Professional life may improve and your personal life is okay. For the ones who are single, you will be happy and looking out for love; the committed ones will be content as they are.
This is not a smooth month ahead, you will face opposition for most things and circumstances will not swing in your favour. However much hard work you put in, tempers may be high, so control your inner devil and think before you act or speak. Do not buy stuff impulsively and be careful with money. Feb 2011 onwards things would improve but this month would be bleak, especially emotionally. You may feel upset and let down unnecessarily with bouts of sadness for no reason. So stay grounded!!
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 Hello Taureans, nothing exciting as of now, not even your Christmas parties would cheer you. It's time you start tying up loose ends. It is certainly not a good time to begin new ventures, so I would say it's best to wait till 2011 March. Any unfinished business should just be delved into more and the foundation focused on. Try to avoid accidents and being impulsive, start to listen to your inner voice more.
Leo July 23 - Aug 22 You're a fool to think you know it all, this card clearly states that your judgements are nothing but a clown's faff. So be careful on how you think and act for people, because all of them have started hating you around for what you speak of them, either in front or behind. Leos are usually the leaders, but leaders don't dominate, they GUIDE!! It's not a good time for you to be ruffling feathers my friend.
Gemini May 21 - June 20
Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 22
Gemini's need to be wary of what they utter as it might land them in a soup. It is time to exercise diplomacy and tact. You would excel in anything creative and should channel your restlessness in this area more so now, especially around full moon. Gemini's should also look at taking up a new hobby or venture; if you have been thinking, this is a good time to start these. Money windfall is expected, a sudden windfall.
Well done, now reap the benefits of the patience you have showed. It's been sometime since you wore that sexy outfit and did a jig, now is the time, so party hard. If you can help, go out and do the needful, it will bring in more karma on a positive note to you. My cards for you say wait for december 24th and 25th, single ones will find the MAN, hooked ones will take it to a new level.
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Leisure Leisure
Libra Sept 23 - Oct 22
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
Woah!! Talk about being cosy this winters and you rule the game bro!! Let your lover surprise you, or better still, you surprise your lover. MagicK, love, SEX and passion; all mixed for you this winters. Have fun but stay to your limit. Do not over indulge in anything especially on wine and spice, your stomach hasn't been too friendly of late. Take care of mom's health; she needs your time as well.
Ok now stop clowning around, if this chance has come back to you again make the full use of it or else cry for another 24 months, if not less by a year. Your dad has been giving you some advice of late, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, he knows more than you, especially when it comes to your spending habits. Don't ignore your superior's chocies at work, they do so for your good.
Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18
I would say watch your dreams during the first week of december, many issues that harass you would have a solution for you through your dreams. The dark, still winter nights will bring out the best answers for you. Keep a diary, record your dreams and say a prayer while you do so. Gone are the tough days my friend. For the next 3 months you are going to smile away!!
This is your last and final call to those who you have taken advantage of. Go make peace with them or lose all the bounty that could be yours in future. If you haven't repaid a favor of any kind, the time is now or else you would regret it big time. Mom and sisters would have much to say, DON'T ignore their words and pleas. Keep your ego low, it brought you no good and will bring you no more good.
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
Pisces Feb 19 - March 20
Have you been feeling off late that there is a voice trying to speak to you from the other side? The problem is that most of us don't care to listen. You are, as the card says, a born Ehaler and there are many who look to you for help. So go out there and heal their minds and bodies, will you!! Wait for the end of november to the mid of december, your man's on the horse; if you know what I mean!!
Fight for what you think is right!! But don't stamp on someone elses foot; because when they yell, the world will look at your folly not theirs. Christmas is a time of miracles, your finances will improve, don't worry about who has to say what, just follow your intuition, the Goddess is with you always.
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Leisure
- Dibyendu Paul
T
his time I have something very interesting and unconventional to share with the readers. This time, the focus area is Noah's Arc, an American television dramedy. You must be wondering about the very name of the show. No, it's nothing to do with the ancient myth from Bible. Noah is the name of an African-American guy, and Arc stands for his three best friends, Alex, Ricky and Chance. According to some critics, Noah's Arc is just the gay version of Sex and the City. But in my personal opinion, the two are beyond comparison. The series encompasses the black gay guys from a different angle. Many of us are hardly accustomed to seeing black African-
American people as passive gay characters. But Noah's Arc makes all such notions of ours false. Noah, Alex and Chance; all of them are passive in terms of their sexual orientation. But their effeminate nature never irks you in any way (I write this because many gay men aren't into effeminate guys). Rather, every guy would love to get Noah as a boyfriend. Noah's Arc is also very much vocal about AfricanAmerican queer community. All of you must be quite taken aback thinking of the black gay men with sensitivity. The very thought had made me spellbound. But trust me guys, it's simply awesome and beyond our conventional comprehension. Most of the American gay tele-series deals with
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Leisure insensible and funny issues, but Noah's Arc is a completely different league. In an interview, African-American writer and director Patrick-Ian Polk laments, “Is there no one involved at Showtime - the producers, the casting, anywhere in that mix - who asks, 'Do all these guys have to be white, have dark brown hair and look like brothers in the same family?' I don't get it, but it's always been like that. With media, gay equals white.�Noah's Arc features several of our daily activities like gay dating, hook-ups, all the sensibilities in queer guys, and not so sensible stuffs as well. Noah's friend Alex is a HIV counselor and the series spreads AIDS awareness too, while highlighting issues like Homophobia, gay bashing etc. Noah's Arc is the complete story of our life, though the Afro-American society is addressed at large in it. The most beautiful part of Noah's Arc is that it is a minute sensible representation of queer men.
Noah's Arc:
u Darryl Stephens as Noah Nicholson u Jensen Atwood as Wade Robinson u Rodney Chester as Alex Kirby u Christian Vincent as Ricky Davis u Doug Spearman as Chance Counter u Gregory Kieth as Trey Iverson u Jonathan Julian as Eddie McEntire u Wilson Cruz as Junito Vargas Pandect of Noah's Arc The show was first featured on the Logo Cable-Televison network and it didn't take much time to earn popularity. It deals with four black gay friends and features the triumphs, tragic moments, turbulence, love, relationship and fun-filled moments of their lives. Now I will introduce you to the individual characters from the series.
Cast Of Noah's Arc Now get acquainted with the cast of
Noah: The central character of the series. Noah (Darryl Stephens) is a struggling screenwriter, very much dominant as a person, Cute, handsome, dark, and at times childish; falls for the handsome dark stud-Wade (Jensen Atwood), who considers himself straight. Noah is very sensible as a person. He loves his three friends and they are sort of his small world. He laughs with them, even cries in their sorrows. Christian Vincent was supposed to play the part of Noah when the audition was held in Los Angeles. According to me, no one could have played it better than Darryl Stephens. Darryl has all the Attributes that the character needs.
To be continued...
46 Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Dec 2010
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Leisure Leisure
So you call yourself a movie-buff? From Hollywood to Bollywood, you know the A-Z of each movie? Well, don't jump into conclusions so fast. Put yourself to test with this quiz first.
1
Set in Goa, the movie was about Nikhil Kapoor, a awimming champion. Which Indian actor played the lead role of Nikhil in this movie titled My Brother Nikhil?
Directed by South Indian actress Revathi, this Bollywood movie dealt with the issue of AIDS. The actors in the movie included Shilpa Shetty, Salman Khan and Abhishek Bachchan.The movie was?
3
This movie was based on the real-life story of Brandon Teena, a transgender man. The character of Brandon was portrayed by Hillary Swank on-screen, for which she received an Oscar for the Best Actress in 2000.The movie was?
A love story of two cowboys, Brokeback Mountain was adapted from a short story of the same title by an American author.The name of the author is?
5
2 4
This 2008 movie fetched an Oscar to both its Lead Actor and Screenplay writer. The movie was based on the life of the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California.The director of the movie is? 47
Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Dec 2010
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Literature
48 Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Nov 2010
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Leisure Literature
“A tale of love and lust between an upper class brahmin & an uneducated rural boy” by Victor Til Now: The friendship between domestic help Bagha and our mining engineer gets more deeper and during a massage session, the sexual tension between the two is taking them over.
T
he chest done, he moved to my abs, poked my navel with a finger dripping with oil and with circular movements rubbed the oil around the spot. The circles got bigger and I was half expecting his fingers entering my band when he stopped to go down to my legs and my thighs. What a tease!! His thigh massage was soft and slow, getting tantalizingly close to my privates but staying away all the same. Would he…would he not? Did I see a slight raise in his shorts? I was sure, he was semi hard. Still, I didn't have the guts to start the fire. What if he didn't agree, what if he ran out scared, what if I was wrong sensing him? I tried to divert my thoughts. As if on cue, he started to push through the hem of my shorts in massaging the upper reaches of my thighs. I took the hint, opened my eyes and rolled up the shorts like he did when I was turned. I rolled them up so much that my pubes were almost visible. The invitation worked, he dipped two fingers each of both his hands in the oil and started rubbing them over the region along my crotch, touching my pubes very evidently in the process, with my tool standing ceaselessly in the middle of all the subdued action. His hand movements now touched my erection from over the fabric, once, twice , thrice and on and on. His lordship swayed at every touch with increased vigour…it was palpably clear that
Bagha was playing with my embarrassment. I caught hold of his sweaty biceps, and pulled him slightly down towards me. He looked at me with his big round eyes, as if in an appeal, his face very near, him leaning on me, his black thick lips within a foot of mine, his breath hot and his chest heaving. Having leaned on me so far, his groin touched mine, and I knew. He was hard and it was obvious that both of us were in heat. I couldn't let this time pass, wasted. I kept holding one arm with one hand and caught hold of his jet-black curls with another. I pulled him closer, more close…till I could count every eyelash of those wonderful liquid eyes. A few parrots fluttered away from the highest branches of my mango tree. I looked into his eyes - he into mine. I lifted my head to touch his lips with my own…wet full lips, lips that had enticed me, called me to touch them since the last ten days. Time stood still as a Bengalee Brahmin Engineer of twenty-two in love with a dark beautiful tribal teenager of nineteen kissed his domestic help full on the lips, beneath the open sky amongst nature. I saw the sky above spinning…I felt his hardness against mine…I felt like I could be there forever, pec to pec, lip to lip... and heart to heart. The lines of Tagore's song kept ringing in my ears, the rhythm matching those of my heart – Momo chitte niti nrittye, Ke je naache, Taa taa thoi thoi Taa taa thoi thoi Taa taa thoi thoi . Taari songe ki mridonge sadaa baaje Taa taa thoi thoi
49 Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Dec 2010
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Leisure Literature Taa taa thoi thoi Taa taa thoi thoi .
Taa taa thoi thoi Taa taa thoi thoi Taa taa thoi thoi .
He started resisting in no time, and pushed my head back and got up abruptly; The concave of my abdomen fit in loosening my grip, his hair disheveled and his perfectly with the curve of his lower back and shorts tented, and ran away inside the house. I as if we were fused in sculpture. I kept on got up, startled and confused. Was he going out rubbing his chest and he was responding of the house? I ran after him and found him slowly, his erection still massive. My joystick standing in front of the door of the kitchen with was in overdrive, poking his bums. I took the his head lowered, resting his hands on the next step. I brought my hands down and kitchen door frame. He didn't move hearing me touched his stand. He removed his hands from coming inside. I went up to him and ever so the frames and caught hold of them. I gently put a hand on his strong sweaty persisted and forced my grip on his tool...my shoulder. His skin twitched at my touch. He first feel of Bagha. However, he turned towards didn't turn. I whispered his me and firmly said, “Nahi.” name…still no response. I Dejected, I blurted out, Time stood still as a bent and peeped around “Thik hai.” Bengalee Brahmin his arms to see his face. No, Engineer of 22 in love with Without another word, he wasn't crying or with his mount still stretched a dark beautiful tribal something…just vacantly teenager of 19 kissed his horizontally he walked into s t a r i n g a t t h e f l o o r, domestic help full on the his own room, leaving me confused. His erection was lips, beneath the open sky stranded there in front of the still evident. kitchen, my hardness in my I raised my voice and hands, confused and not tried to be assertive… “Bagha…Kya hua? Tum knowing how to handle it further. It had been hi bola ki sharmane ka nahi…aisa sabko hota almost four months since I last had sex with a hai.” Without turning, he said, “Aap sahab man and was perhaps too carried away by my hain, aisa nahi hona chahie…yeh galat hai.” testosterone. Relieved, I extended my hand and turned his I didn't disturb him further and went for a head towards me, “Sahab hain to kya hua…jo bath with an accompanying masturbation. The hua who achanak ho gaya…aur kya galat hai?” feel of soap mixed with oil on my skin increased There was no answer. I moved forward and the desire and I had a huge hard on and came hugged him from behind, feeling no resistance. in loads, with my secretions getting mixed with It was a wonderful feeling, his sweaty hard the lather. body touching my oiled skin, the tingling We didn't talk anymore, and got ready in started again. I could feel his round firm bums time for the shift. Behaving normally, we went against my loins and they were on fire again. I to the mine, descended to the working face and slid my hands up his chest and rested them on went our way. We crossed each other's way his nipples. They were erect like hard stubs. I several times in the galleries, but none of us rubbed my hands over them and pressed him looked each other in the eye. I came up after closer. eight and was aimlessly moving around in the Naache janmo, naache mrityu, open, reminiscing about what could have been. naachhe chhando paachhe paachhe He surfaced much later, nearing the end of the Ki anondo Ki anondo Ki anando, shift. ….. At about five minutes to 10, he came up Se tarange chhuti ronge paachhe to me and waited. I said, “Chal, card punch kar paachhe le, aur nikalte hain.” Nodding, he avoided a
50 Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Dec 2010
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Leisure Literature direct eye contact and walked towards the Dopahar se tu mujhse door reh raha hai ?” Time Office to punch out. I started my bike and Face lowered, he replied, “Kya kuchh toh waited outside the gate for him to come and nahi. Bas man thik nahi tha.” get on my back seat. Revving up the engine I I dragged him closer with my arms shot onto the dark roadway to my bungalow 5 around his shoulder, “Aaj din mein jo hua uske minutes away. There was a big dark stretch of chalte?” vacant barren land in between the Colliery He kept quiet. I gave a pull, his upper Compound and the beginning of the township. portion moved and his head rested on my Bagha suddenly moved forward and grabbed shoulder. Fully facing him, locking my eyes my waist from behind as if holding me and with him, I started moving my fingers through rested his face on my back. Pleasantly his still wet-from-bath combed hair. “Tereko surprised at the sudden change of his mind, I bura laga kya ? Laga ki yeh paap hai ?” was a little uncomfortable too, wary of being “Nahi . Waisa nahi.” seen that way by oncoming nightshift “To achhaa laga ?” employees or passing cyclists. However, it was Again there was a poignant pause. I told for a fleeting moment on a him, “Dekh mujhe maloom hai vacant road, and he tujhe bhi araam aya hoga, I was in love and I straightened up before I could wanted him. But my main tera badan dekhke react positively. I was floating want had to match up samajh gaya, koi cheez achha on air for the rest of my drive. to his sensibilities and lage to apne aap ko chhod dena I had a bath in my inhibitions. I had to go chahiye. Utna soch mat.” bathroom and he in the yard He nodded, his head still slow. as usual on reaching home on my shoulder. My hand still and Bagha took out the grub from the fridge around his shoulder, I brought it down to touch and warmed it. Even the rice was cooked his nipple once more. No resistance, I brushed during the daytime but having spent 4 yrs in a my palm over the left one and it stood up. I hostel and eating in the mess since the last 2 bent down my face, waiting for him to months before Bagha arrived on the scene, it respond. Lifting his face, his breathing hot, he was not an issue with me. brought his mouth nearer to my lips. I placed After dinner, Bagha went out to the yard them on his lips again and this time they and cleaned up the plates. I was waiting for stayed. I didn't try to experiment much by him finishing his chores. Finally, when he pushing my tongue in, but I could feel the pulled the back door shut and bolted it, I called mercury rising. I almost crushed him with my out loud… “Bagha kaam ho jaane se is kamre arm and slowly rested my other arm on his me aana thoda.” He came in wiping his hands semi hard tool. Mine, however, was a rock. with the end of his dhoti and stood in front of I released my arm from his shoulders, me. held out to reach the switch on the wall, put I held his hand and pulled him down on to the light off and dragged him into my bed. I my bed and asked him to sit beside me. He sat hugged him, still kissing his lips and he hesitatingly. I told him to sit relaxed, “Sharma responding too by hugging the small of my mat, main tujhe khaa nahi jaaoonga.” He back now. We were lying face to face in the smiled, the line of his uniform white teeth dark, hugging each other, on my insufficient showing. I shifted closer. He looked towards bed. A ray of the colony street light was the open window. Though there was a cloth coming in through the skylight and illuminated hanging, working as a curtain, I got up and the room dreamily. I didn't venture further. I shut it. Plonked myself back beside him, this was in love and I wanted him. But my want had time gently putting my arm around him. to match up to his sensibilities and inhibitions. Facing him, I asked, “Tera kya hua? I had to go slow.
51 Gaylaxy|Volume 1 | Issue 9 | Oct - Dec 2010
To be continued...
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NGO Leisure
WEST BENGAL THE PRATYAY GENDER TRUST Contact person : Anindya Hajra Address : 293 Jodhpur Park , Calcutta, Pin 700 068 Phone : 033 2464 1893 E-mail : pratyaygendertrust@yahoo.co.in Target populations : Hijras, MSM (particularly kotis)
DURBAR MAHILA SAMANWAYA COMMITTEE Contact person : Mrinal Kanti Dutta Address : 12/5 Nilmoni Mitra Street, Kolkata West Bengal, India Phone : 033 2543 7451 / 7560, +91-33 2530 3148 Email: dmsc@durbar.org Website: http://www.durbar.org/ Target populations : Female, Male and Transgender sex workers SAATHII CALCUTTA Contact person : Pawan Dhall, Chief Coordinator Address : 229 Kalitala Main Road, Purbanchal (N), Kolkata Pin 700 064 Phone : 033 2334 7329 E-mail : saathii@yahoo.com / pawan30@yahoo.com Website : www.saathii.org Target populations : MSM in general, male sex workers, transgender people, bisexual
Sappho Contact person : Malavika Address : 11A Jogendra Gardens(South),Ground Floor, Kolkata, Pin 700 078 Phone : 033 2441 9995
Email: malvi99@hotmail.com , sappho1999@rediffmail.com Website:
SWIKRITI
http://sapphokolkata.org/ Target Population : Lesbians and bisexual women
Address : 42/57 DumDum Road, Kolkata 700074
Prantik Bongaon Contact person : Niloy Basu Address : C/o Niloy Basu, Peada Para, P.O. Bongaon, Pin 743 235 Phone : 91 3251 257 029, 9332254855 E-mail : ajnil@rediffmail.com / ajnil123@rediffmail.com Target populations : Hijras, Kothis, MSM in general
Northern Black Rose Contact person : Souvik Ghosal Address : C/o Hori Roy, M. B. Mukherjee Nursing Home, Hill Cart Road, Rajani Bagan, Khudiram Palli, Silliguri 734 401 Phone : 91-9433009116 E-mail: northenblack_rose@yahoo.co.in Target populations : Hijras, Meitis, other sexual minorities,
Astitva Dakshin
Contact person : Rajarshi Chakraborty, Secretary
Phone : +91 9831743608, 9433009190 E-mail: swikriti2003@hotmail.com Target populations : Bisexual women, lesbians, MSM in general, transgender people
PEOPLE LIKE US (PLUS) Contact person : Agniva Lahiri Address : 254, Bonomali Bannerjee Road, Kolkata 700082, West Bengal, India Phone : 033 2402 9305 E-mail : pluskolkata@gmail.com Target populations : Support group for young gender variants
SWAPNIL Contact person : SUMAN RUDRA Address : Kotalhat DistBurdwan, P.O. Burdwan, Pin 751015, West Bengal
Contact person : Debasish Mitra Address : C/o Bablu Bajikar, Baruipur Ukilpara, Kolkata 700144 Phone : 919836185589, 9830837440 E-mail : astitvadakshin@yahoo.co.in Target populations : Hijras, Kothis
Phone : 09932241372 E-mail : swapnil_burdwan@yahoo.co.in Target populations : MSM & TG Groups
Madhya Banglar Sangram
Contact person : Sk. Jalaluddin Address : Santi Seva, C/o Fellowship, Tarini Bhawan, Baliorada, P.O. / Dist. Bhadrak, Orissa, Pin 756 100, India
Contact person : Arunava Nath Address : Kazi Ali Aftab Vill. Goaljan, P.O. Radharghat, P.S. Berhampore Phone: 91 9932760967, 9232694700 E-mail: sangram_06@hotmail.com
? editor@gaylaxymag.com
Orissa Santi Seva
Phone : 93487 87724 E-mail : santiseva@yahoo.com Target populations : Hijra, Maichiya and other male-tofemale transgender people
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