Fab Las Vegas Magazine - Volume 21 - #9

VOL 21, #9

LAS VEGAS MAGAZINE INTERVIEW

LAUNT & GUNCLE Steven Rowley talks about ‘The Guncle’ PET PARENTING PET

PET PEEVES

Things that pet parents do that must stop NOW! LGBTQ+ HOLLYWOOD

HOLLYWOOD NEWS

Kasi Lemmons is going to ‘Dance’ with Whitney + more BOOK CLUB

BOOK REVIEWS

“The Natural Mother of the Parent: A Memoir of Nonbinary Parenthood” & “¡Hola Papi!”

EVENT INFO

SIN CITY INFERNO

Tracey Scott Wilson Meet the lesbian screenwriter who wrote the ‘Respect’ movie about Aretha

By: Lawrence Ferber

Photo Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert / Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures

COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Why Tracey Scott Wilson Deserves Your Respect How the ‘Respect’ screenwriter’s sexual identity influenced her telling of Aretha’s story 4 Fab Vegas

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COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Photo Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert / Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures

Aretha Franklin’s journey to self-discovery is seen through the lens of openly lesbian screenwriter Tracey Scott Wilson in “Respect,” the biopic starring Jennifer Hudson as Detroit’s own Queen of Soul.

In director Liesl Tommy’s film, Wilson focuses on Franklin’s tumultuous path to the top, one that involved many years of fighting for personal and professional agency.

During her formative years, Aretha was bound to the controlling men in her life, namely her first husband, Ted White, and father, C.L. Franklin. That is, until she realized she didn’t have to be. The movie’s message — find your own voice — is one Wilson is very familiar with. After all, she’s lesbian.

And, like Aretha, a preacher’s daughter.

From Brooklyn, the 6 Fab Vegas

screenwriter spoke about how being part of the LGBTQ+ community influenced her script, why Aretha isn’t considered a gay icon, and how she wants the Queen’s song “Ain’t No Way” to be reclaimed as the gay anthem she says it is.

There are so many ways to tell Aretha’s story. How do you think your identity helped shape the narrative direction of the story as you chose to tell it?

That’s such a great question and something that no one has ever asked me. I didn’t know that Carolyn [Aretha’s younger sister] was a lesbian and so, when I found that out, that was just huge. I was like, “Wow. I wonder what would’ve happened had I known that when I was a kid.”

So, reading about Aretha’s

family and the uniqueness of circumstances. And, also, my father was a minister.

Obviously not as big as C.L., but I was very sort of tuned into the preacher’s kid part of me because, whenever you’re a preacher’s kid, you have to find your own identity outside of your parents. It can be so overwhelming. So I was just thinking about Carolyn and being a preacher’s kid, with a world-famous father at that. And then also, as a gay person, to decide you’re going to live your truth is just remarkable. Aretha, you know, never questioned [it]. They completely accepted that.

So was Carolyn your inroad to this story?

I think that Aretha was still the inroad, but because of her and Erma [Aretha’s elder sister], they were

Visit www.HawksGym.com

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COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT really important because I realized how much they influenced her, and vice versa. Their relationship was very formative to her. And whenever I was thinking about Aretha, I was thinking about where her sisters were at that moment.

Of course there’s gay gospel musician and

Aretha collaborator James Cleveland, played by Tituss Burgess in the movie. Do you think Aretha coming out of her shell and harnessing her inner power had anything to do with the LGBTQ+ people around her, like Carolyn and James?

I actually do believe that.

James Cleveland would have these parties and there were

just gay people there, where it was sort of unspoken.

Singers in the Black churches, ministers of music…

I think that her father, from all of my research, was just never sort of judgmental about that. I mean, I think it was different when it came to his own daughter. But I do think that seeing so many people — women, gay men — just live

Photo Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert / Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures

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their truest under her father’s roof really did help her later on, in terms of just declaring her own identity.

Why do you think Aretha’s contemporaries, like Diana Ross and Patti LaBelle, are considered gay icons but Aretha is rarely referred to as one?

I think that the reason she

hasn’t traditionally fallen into that category is because of her relationship with the church.

For so many gay people, the church has been a source of pain. And for Aretha, it was a source of pain, but also her greatest source of inspiration.

I think that’s why she wasn’t a gay icon. You know, “Amazing Grace” is her best-selling album [Note: It’s also the

best selling gospel album of all time, period]. Whereas Patti LaBelle grew up in the church as well, but musically she wasn’t as connected to it.

Same thing as Diana Ross.

Diana Ross, growing up in the Motown scene, she didn’t have anything to do with that. So, I think that’s the unintended barrier, because she definitely had all of the other qualities

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COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT these women had. The larger-than-life persona, the feminism...

And the shade. The shade was just so good.

The shade. Oh my god.

To me, a lot of things that Aretha had done in her career fall into the gay icon category: the over-the-top exuberance, the voice, the sass, the shade.

Carolyn, she wrote “Ain’t No Way” to be… it’s a gay anthem.

When you look at those lyrics, it was so clear. You know what she’s talking about.

Do you think Aretha knew?

Oh, absolutely. I think the lyrics spoke to her as well, but her singing there was also an acknowledgement of her sister. [Aretha] was very private, so she didn’t talk about her life and she certainly wasn’t going to talk about her sister’s private life. I think if it would have been known, she would’ve been right up there with Cher.

I can’t find a lot of examples

of Aretha actually openly talking about her LGBTQ+ fanbase.

I don’t think that was because of any type of shame. I just think that she was so intensely private that any opening up of that conversation would’ve meant talking about Carolyn.

It would’ve meant talking about James Cleveland. It would’ve meant talking about her childhood. And she just didn’t want to.

It sounds like Aretha’s relationship with Carolyn gave you some insight into how Aretha felt about the community.

James Cleveland as well. You can see from “Amazing Grace” how close they were, growing up at the house with him.

He was obviously very open about it.

Because of the movie, now I hear “Ain’t No Way” in a brand new queer light. It really does sound like a gay anthem.

Yeah, it really is. I hope it gets reclaimed. Because of just time, I wasn’t able to

Photo Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert / Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures

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talk about Carolyn being a lesbian in the movie. There were a couple of scenes where I sort of laid it out. They had conversations, but it had to be cut. But I just hope it gets reclaimed for the anthem that it is.

Can you talk about the scenes that didn’t make the cut?

There’s a scene where Erma and Aretha were talking with Carolyn, and Carolyn is feeling sorry about somebody she dated that was crazy [laughs]. It was a scene where Aretha and Erma were talking to Carolyn, and they were asking her about someone she had previously dated and Carolyn was basically saying, “Don’t. Please. Don’t ever mention that girl’s name again.” And there was another scene where she started wrestling with who she was interested in.

Maybe the follow-up you write is Carolyn’s story.

Wouldn’t that be something?

Wouldn’t it? Carolyn and James’s story.

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Handwashing

at Home, at Play, and Out and About Germs are everywhere! They can get onto your hands and items you touch throughout the day. Washing hands at key times with soap and water is one of the most important steps you can take to get rid of germs and avoid spreading germs to those around you.

How can washing your hands keep you healthy?

Germs can get into the body through our eyes, nose, and mouth and make us sick. Handwashing with soap removes germs from hands and helps prevent sickness. Studies have shown that handwashing can prevent 1 in 3 diarrhea-related sicknesses and 1 in 5 respiratory infections, such as a cold or the flu.

Handwashing helps prevent infections for these reasons: People often touch their eyes, nose, and mouth without realizing it, introducing germs into their bodies.

Germs from unwashed hands may get into foods and drinks when people prepare or consume them. Germs can grow in some types of foods or drinks and make people sick.

Germs from unwashed hands can be transferred to other objects, such as door knobs, tables, or toys, and then transferred to another person’s hands.

What is the right way to wash your hands?

1. Wet your hands with clean running water (warm or cold) and apply soap.

2. Lather your hands by rubbing them together with the soap.

3. Scrub all surfaces of your hands, including the palms, backs, fingers, between your fingers, and under your nails. Keep scrubbing for at least 20 seconds. Need a timer? Hum the “Happy Birthday” song twice.

4. Rinse your hands under clean, running water.

5. Dry your hands using a clean towel or air dry them.

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When should you wash your hands?

Handwashing at any time of the day can help get rid of germs, but there are key times when it’s most important to wash your hands.

• Before, during, and after preparing food • Before eating food • Before and after caring for someone who is sick • Before and after treating a cut or wound • After using the bathroom, changing diapers, or cleaning up a child who has used the bathroom • After blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing • After touching an animal, animal food or treats, animal cages, or animal feces (poop) • After touching garbage • If your hands are visibly dirty or greasy

What type of soap should you use?

You can use bar soap or liquid soap to wash your hands. Many public places provide liquid soap because it’s easier and cleaner to share with others. Studies have not found any added health benefit from using soaps containing antibacterial ingredients when compared with plain soap. Both are equally effective in getting rid of germs. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.

How does handwashing help fight antibiotic resistance?

Antibiotic resistance occurs when bacteria resist the effects of an antibiotic – that is, germs are not killed and they continue to grow.

Sicknesses caused by antibiotic-resistant bacteria can be harder to treat. Simply using antibiotics creates resistance, so avoiding infections in the first place reduces the amount of antibiotics that have to be used and reduces the likelihood that resistance will develop during treatment. Handwashing helps prevent many sicknesses, meaning less use of antibiotics.

Studies have shown that handwashing can prevent

1 in 3 diarrhea-related sicknesses and

1 in 5 respiratory infections, such as a cold or the flu.

For more information and a video demonstration of how to wash your hands, visit the CDC handwashing website:

www.cdc.gov/handwashing

https://espanol.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

Síntomas del coronavirus (COVID-19) Conozca los síntomas del COVID-19, que pueden incluir:

Tos, falta de aire o dificultad para respirar

Dolor en el cuerpo o los músculos

Fiebre o escalofríos

Vómito o diarrea

Pérdida reciente del gusto o del olfato

Los síntomas pueden ser de leves a graves, y aparecer de 2 a 14 días después de la exposición al virus que causa el COVID-19.

Busque atención médica de inmediato si alguien tiene signos de advertencia de una emergencia del COVID-19 • Dificultad para respirar • Dolor o presión persistentes en el pecho • Estado de confusión de aparición reciente

• No puede despertarse o permanecer despierta • Color pálido, gris o azulado de la piel, los labios, o el lecho de las uñas, dependiendo del tono de piel

Esta lista no incluye todos los síntomas posibles. Llame a su proveedor de atención médica si tiene cualquier otro síntoma que sea grave o que le preocupe.

cdc.gov/coronavirus-es CS-317142-G MLS 323226

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

Symptoms of Coronavirus (COVID-19) Know the symptoms of COVID-19, which can include the following:

Cough, shortness of breath or difficulty breathing

Muscle or body aches

Fever or chills

Vomiting or diarrhea

New loss of taste or smell

Symptoms can range from mild to severe illness, and appear 2–14 days after you are exposed to the virus that causes COVID-19.

Seek medical care immediately if someone has Emergency Warning Signs of COVID-19 • Trouble breathing • Persistent pain or pressure in the chest • New confusion

• Inability to wake or stay awake • Pale, gray, or blue-colored skin, lips, or nail beds, depending on skin tone

This list is not all possible symptoms. Please call your healthcare provider for any other symptoms that are severe or concerning to you.

cdc.gov/coronavirus CS-317142-A

COMMUNITY INTERVIEW

By: Chris Azzopardi

Guncle to Guncle Interview with author Steven Rowley on his new book and the glories of Gunclehood I read Steven Rowley’s third novel “The Guncle” with my 8-year-old niece in mind.

After all, his book makes a case for how parenting extends beyond a child’s actual parents. Uncles, aunts, friends, grandma, grandpa, babysitters: “It takes a village,” Rowley reminds me during our recent conversation.

It was “The Guncle” that reminded me of what my own niece, who has experienced abrupt life changes due to the pandemic and sudden family shifts, told me recently after I made an aside about how it’s unlikely I’ll become a parent at this point in my life. Ever the inquisitive one, she said, “What do you mean, Uncle?”

I briefly explained that if I were going to parent a child, it would’ve happened years ago.

She corrected me, reminding me that, in her eyes, I am a parent. “But you’ve got me,” she said, as my heart burst at the seams.

Rowley’s book explores this very bond between Guncles and their nieces (and nephews) with astute, heartwarming observations, while illustrating how the term “parent” expands beyond traditional mom and dad

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roles.

In the book, Rowley’s character Patrick is a gay man who spends his days in Mr. Turk caftans, soaking up the Palm Springs sun. He’s no longer the sitcom star he once was, so he’s got some time on his hands. That is, until his life is turned upside down when Maisie and Grant, his niece and nephew,

lose their mother, also one of Patrick’s dearest friends and sister-in-law. Suddenly, Patrick, still working through the grief of losing his own partner, becomes the children’s temporary guardian. Just one who happens to love a draping caftan.

Rowley spoke to me from Palm Springs, where he lives, about the places he found

inspiration for the book and why nieces and nephews share special bonds with their gay uncles.

Because of my relationship with my niece, I really identified with this idea of how Guncles can be an escape for the nieces and nephews in their life and can offer some stability when they need it most. Can you talk about that in terms of this story?

That’s incredible that you have such a parallel in your own life, and I do have five nieces and nephews. I don’t have children of my own, but there’s so many more LGBTQ+ parents doing remarkable jobs raising children, and I’m at awe of what they do, you know? It’s unarguably one of life’s great emotional experiences, and so I’m always conscious of not having that in my arsenal as a writer, and I felt I had things I wanted to say about kids.

This was a very interesting project for me, but I was surprised when I became an uncle how deep those relationships actually were to me and how connected I felt to these kids. Guncles have become a thing over the past five, 10 years, and so it’s not just a gay uncle but also a connotation of a largerthan-life figure; they’re sort of able to lavishly dote on kids, perhaps, in a way. They fly in from big cities for holidays.

My nieces and nephews, they don’t quite have a grasp on my life. They’re all on the East Coast; I live in Palm Springs. I have a house with a swimming pool. I don’t go to an office the

way they see other adults go, and so they don’t quite have my life pegged. It was truly fun to celebrate the specialness of these relationships. You know, there was “Auntie Mame” first, the 1955 Patrick Dennis novel, but he was closeted and came out later in his life as at least bisexual. But it got me thinking, too, about a lot of these queer writers from the mid-century, like Tennessee Williams, or writers who created these larger-than-life female characters perhaps because they weren’t able to openly write about gay men, and that was really interesting to reclaim: that sort of Auntie Mame character as a Guncle.

Like Maisie and Grant when they visit Patrick, do you recognize a special level of excitement when your nieces and nephews come see you in Palm Springs?

For sure. Writing a story about grief against the backdrop of unrelenting, cheerful sunshine was interesting. And then there’s the sort of fishout-of-water element. The idea of having kids here and seeing this lifestyle that’s very different from what they’re seeing, that’s where I had some fun, particularly, in creating JED, the gay throuple that lives just over Patrick’s wall on the neighboring property.

Putting them in a situation where they might see different relationship models and types of families than they might see in suburban Connecticut was fun to play with.

I love that you come at family structure from different angles.

It’s a slight echo of who an uncle is, the “it takes a village” kind of attitude about raising kids. It does take more than just parents sometimes to successfully raise a child. And that more than two people would be in a relationship is really scary thinking to a lot of people. So it was fun to play with people’s expectations about who this throuple might be and divert those expectations a bit by making them very family-minded with legitimate things to contribute to the conversation.

What did you want this book to say about the meaning of family?

I wanted it to touch on the great history with a found family in queer culture and queer history. I came out in 1991, and so the tradition of found family in queer culture was something I wanted to touch on. And yes, Patrick is a blood relation to these kids, but the three of them sort of being thrown together as they are is really a unique circumstance for the three of them. The idea of just upending sound traditional structures and having it be more about acceptance and letting these kids be who they are.

I never really understood people who wanted kids just to be mini versions of themselves all over again. (Laughs.) There isn’t anyone that is so great that what the world needs is another version of them, you know? And so the great joy to me in having kids would be to see who these people become on their own terms, and so I wanted to touch on all of that.

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CELEBRITY INTERVIEW

-----------------------------------------------------------------------What do your nieces and nephews think of the fact that their Guncle has written a book?

They’re still a little young.

But I’m sorry for anyone who happens to be related to a writer (laughs). We do tend to lift things. But the book is dedicated to the five of them, so to the extent that I may have borrowed from their lives, I hope they will forgive me.

In the acknowledgements, you also say that your editor, Sally Kim, recognized this story before you did. Could you talk about that and how it developed?

It stemmed from a week where my brother brought his two boys to visit. He’s an attorney in Boston, and he was here with the boys for a week and after about 12 hours here got called into court, basically, to represent one of his clients. He had to leave, and I suddenly was left with the two boys. I felt like an understudy being thrust into the lead role. I documented the whole thing on Instagram. My editor was watching me flounder a bit that week, and she said, “You know, I think there might be something to write about here.”

So some of this is based on your own experiences.

It’s a combination of a number of things. One is, I’ve had a long fascination with “Auntie Mame” and other magical caregiver stories: Mary Poppins, Maria from “The Sound of Music.” It seemed fun to me to create a queer 18 Fab Vegas

entry in that genre.

I imagined the book as a much lighter comedic novel at first, and a month into the writing process I lost one of my very best friends from college to breast cancer. She left behind a 6-year-old son, which was devastating for me and for her family. But the idea of grief in children was something I was suddenly thinking about much more seriously.

How else do you explain this relationship between Guncles and their nieces and nephews?

I do make a joke in the book.

Patrick says to the kids, “You know, I have a swimming pool with no natural heirs.

You should be nice to me.”

(Laughs.) I think there’s an absolute acceptance of them

for who they are, and I think a lot of Guncles… and justice for lesbian aunts! We need a better word than “Launt.” But we are delighted in them for who they are. We’re not the people in their lives that put any pressure on them to be anything other than who they are. I think they respond to that energy.

A third dose of vaccine is recommended for people with moderately to severely compromised immune systems.

This includes people with advanced or untreated HIV infection.

Schedule your appointment at www.snhd.info/covid-vaccine

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PET PARENTING

By: Mikey Rox

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Pet Peeves: Things Pet Parents Do That Need to Stop Now! Pet ownership – or pet parenting as we like to call it – comes with much of the same responsibility as raising a human child, at least in the beginning. There are plenty of dos and don’ts to consider, lest you want to put your animal in an early grave. That’s not a pleasant thought, of course, but neither are the things pet parents do, deliberately or innocently, that cause their dogs, cats and other household animals harm. Here’s what needs to stop right now.

Bringing home an animal you know nothing about Don’t bring home a pet until you learn everything about it, begs Nora Glover, founder and editor-in-chief of cat blog Catademy.

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“Animals have needs and don’t have return policies like your new smartphone,” she says. “They may seem very independent, but it’s actually not true. Cats require quite a lot of daily care and attention from their owners to live a long and happy life. Your pet owner’s duty is to know about all your cat’s needs and learn how to satisfy them.”

Letting cats roam the neighborhood

Outdoor cats pose several problems, like contributing to the feral feline population through procreation, killing wild birds that should be protected from unnecessary predators, and drawing the ire of your neighbors from doing their business in their

yards. Furthermore, outdoor cats have an average life span of two years versus 12 when kept inside a loving home.

That disparity in longevity alone should encourage any responsible cat owner to keep it safe indoors. If you’d like your cat to experience the outdoors, take it on a leashed walk or build an inescapable enclosure in your backyard and call it a “catio,” because that sounds cute as hell.

Leaving dogs unattended outside

Small dogs left unattended outside can become snacks for predatory animals like coyotes, hawks and alligators, depending where you live.

Being hit by moving vehicles is another, more likely cause

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PET PARENTING

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of an outdoor dog’s untimely death. Exposing the animal to extreme heat or cold is a giant no-no as well. And then there’s the snatching, wherein criminals steal dogs to resell to an unsuspecting buyer, sell into dog-fighting rings, or hold them for ransom until your posted reward becomes high enough for the thief to pretend he or she found it wandering the streets.

Happens right in pet parents’ front and backyards when they’re not watching. Don’t let yourself be a victim by being irresponsible.

Leaving an animal in the car alone

If you’re popping into the convenience store for three minutes on a cool day, sure, your dog can stay in the car with the windows cracked for that length of time. But if you’re going on an hour-long Target run – because, let’s face it, even if you went in there with a list, you’re coming out no less than an hour later – leave your pet at home or take it inside with you. Most stores don’t bat an eye at a wellbehaved dog in a shopping cart these days, so long as food isn’t being served in the immediate area.

Allowing dogs to ride unrestrained in the back of a pickup truck

According to American Humane, 100,000 dogs die in accidents each year because they were riding in truck beds.

These accidents don’t have to involve a collision, either.

Dogs can jump out, fall out, 22 Fab Vegas

be stolen, receive eye injuries from flying debris, have paws burned on bed liners, and suffer from hypothermia in cold weather and heat stroke in hot weather. If you wouldn’t make your human best friend ride unrestrained in your flatbed, why should your canine best friend have to?

Feeding your pets harmful foods

Pet discussions usually involve dogs and cats, but what about other pets, like rabbits? Grass hay should account for 75 to 80 percent of their diet and be supplemented with fresh leafy greens and pellets, according to Sarah Logan, editor of The Bunny Hub. Foods you should never feed your rabbit include chocolate (this goes for dogs and cats, too!), walnuts, avocados, bread and grains, meat, dairy, rhubarb, iceberg lettuce, and potatoes.

No matter what pet you have, always research what foods they can’t have before feeding them anything other than their usual diet. A seemingly innocuous snack treat could have deadly consequences if you’re not careful.

Blaming bad behavior on your pet’s breed

Cats and dogs aren’t stupid.

But many people make excuses for their pet’s bad behavior by claiming the pet is goofy, can’t be trained, or has a bad temperament. Too often, poorly or untrained pets end up in high kill shelters, all because a human couldn’t or didn’t take the time to address and eradicate the bad

behavior. If you have trouble, hire a professional.

Hoarding animals because you’re an ‘animal lover’

Hoarding animals is a mental illness and should be addressed as such unless you’re breeding pets for a living (which, in that case, you also might want to reconsider a more humane career path). The hard truth is, you can’t track the health and welfare of 20 dogs or 30 cats, and nobody wants to find your inadvertent collection of feline skeletons under a ceiling-high stack of National Enquirers five years from now.

Helicopter parenting a dog

Everybody knows that one person at the dog park who spoils all the fun. Their dog can’t lift a paw or get a sniff in before they’re scooped up and checked for injuries.

Sometimes these people are judgmental, while others profusely apologize (for what, I’m not sure). Whatever the case, they just can’t seem to let dogs be dogs.

“Dogs bark, chase, and wrestle for fun; it’s in their DNA,” says Daniel Caughill, co-founder of The Dog Tale blog. “If you’re not comfortable with a little roughhousing, please stay away from the dog park, because you prevent everyone else from letting their dogs play when you start fussing.”

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LGBTQIA+ BOOK CLUB

By: Terri Schlichenmeyer

-----------------------------------------------------------------------“The Natural Mother of the Parent: A Memoir of Nonbinary Parenthood”

by Krys Malcolm Belc $26.00 / 304 pages

It’s really very common.

Giving birth is so common, actually, that someone does it in the U.S. nearly eleven thousand times a day – which means that it’s really not much of a big deal, unless it’s your baby. In that case, it’s a one-ofa-kind miracle and, in the new book “The Natural Mother of the Child” by Krys Malcolm Belc, it’s an answer, and a whole lot more questions.

They had wanted their children to be close in age.

That was the plan – Irish Twins, they called them – but when Krys Belc went to the birth clinic, visibly pregnant with Samson and toting five-month-old Sean, the child of his partner, Anna, women in the clinic’s waiting room stared. Or were they, like Belc’s neighbors, staring because Belc looked like a pregnant man?

Yes, Belc inherited his father’s looks. He feared that he might’ve inherited his father’s temper, too; sometimes, Sean was too much and being neither mother nor father, Belc was often unable to comfort the boy.

Belc didn’t particularly enjoy being pregnant; in fact, it brought old memories and new notions to surface.

Absolutely, he grew up loved 24 Fab Vegas

and maybe a little protected, but he wanted what his brothers had; he was sure his mother once harbored hopes of sharing a pregnancy with him, but not anymore. And then it happened: seeing the newborn son he made, made Belc realize that he needed to become the person he always knew he was.

A few months after Samson was weaned, Belc began taking testosterone.

How does one say goodbye to breasts that fed a beloved son? Belc didn’t want his, but finding the right decision was unsettling. How does a grown son reconcile himself to the idea that his father won’t hug him anymore? Sadly, Belc’s father was generally awkward around him since his transition. How can nonbinary parents not get frustrated at the loops of paperwork to protect their parenthood?

“Natural mother,” indeed.

And how can anyone ever fully thank those who helped make them parents?

If ever there was a book that turned itself in circles to get to

the right ending, “The Natural Mother of the Child” is it – and that’s not unpleasant.

Nothing and everything in this book is black and white; it’s calm and turbulent, surefooted and not. Author Krys Malcolm Belc takes readers on a journey to fatherhood that started when he was a girl, envying his brothers without knowing exactly why, giving readers a distant, poignant sense of something wanting. That feeling trails throughout Belc’s story, as we wait for what we know is coming and it’s worth it: after his account of pregnancy and the self-consciousness of being mother-not-mother, his decision to transition solidifies like a ship through fog.

Look at “The Natural Mother of the Child” first as a parenting book, because that’s exactly what it is: the story of learning enough about one’s self to be a good parent. As for the trans part of this memoir, that’s icing on a cake that’s uncommonly good.

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LGBTQIA+ BOOK CLUB

By: Terri Schlichenmeyer

-----------------------------------------------------------------------“¡Hola Papi! How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons”

by John Paul Brammer $26.00 / 224 pages

Your best friend definitely has an opinion.

You need advice and she offers an answer, though it might not be the one you seek. You may get sound counsel but at the wrong time, with sentiments directly opposing what you were thinking. And yet, you have to be grateful. As in the new book “¡Hola Papi!” by John Paul Brammer, the words come from the heart.

Growing up in a small Oklahoma town of Cache, John Paul Brammer knew nothing about being gay.

He had little relationship experience, in fact, and he didn’t learn about hookup apps until he was a junior in college.

Once he found those apps, though, he was “instantly hooked.”

Much to his amusement, “some white guy” said “Hola papi” in greeting on an app one day and Brammer, “a mixed-race Mexican American with noodle arms” never forgot it – because hey, wouldn’t that be a great name for an advice column? He pitched it, landed a gig in conjunction with Grindr and it was a landslide hit with users, even though Brammer felt like an imposter sometimes.

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Was he really qualified to do this? He wondered, then he remembered what he’d want if he needed advice...

When asked what one can do to let go of past hurts, Brammer answers with a tale of his middle-school years, of bullying, inadequecies, and teen angst, and of coming out, growing up, and not letting someone be defined by the worst of the past.

He writes of puppy-love with a girl when he was kinda sure he was attracted to boys, and how the experience wasn’t a waste.

He remembers co-workers at a nearby taco stand who taught him to speak Spanish, to belong, and that “Lo siento” isn’t always necessary. He tells readers about releasing the love he thought was “the one”; about the oh-soawkward night a childhood bully approached him on a dating app; and how to let go of a dream, and a nightmare situation.

You know this: Dear Emmy and Dear Posey can always be relied upon to present some poor schlub with drama

worse than yours. You know they’ll offer snappy, sometimes snarky, maybe dismissive advice – but that might not be as applicable as what’s in “¡Hola Papi!”.

Agony Aunties don’t normally insert themselves into their answers quite like author John Paul Brammer does; nope, he makes his advice into a memoir that resonates. Each mini-chapter here begins with a question, followed by what feels like a personal answer written specifically to the forlorn rather than to the world – in a story, really, but one that’s relatable. It’s fun to read but, more importantly, it wraps advice-seekers (and not just the writer!) in a comfortable tale that might make them laugh but definitely makes them feel unalone.

Another nice thing: this book is by a gay man, but the advice he offers is for anyone, of any age. If you can remember that there are some eyebrowraisers snuggled amidst laughs and sighs, of “¡Hola Papi!”, you’ll have a high opinion.

27 Fab Vegas

Photo Credit: Vegas Urban Pride

PLANET HOLLYWOOD

By: Romeo San Vincente

LGBTQIA+ HOLLYWOOD

Kasi Lemmons is going to ‘Dance’ with Whitney Houston The Whitney Houston biopic, currently in development, has switched directors. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” the film about the legendary singer’s life and tragic early death, the one being made with the full participation of the Houston estate, was going to be helmed by Stella Meghie (of the criminally underseen Issa Rae-starring romantic drama “The Photograph”).

And now she’s out, due to the always-vague explanation of “creative differences.”

Stepping in to direct is veteran filmmaker Kasi Lemmons (“Harriet,” “Eve’s Bayou”), working from a script by “Bohemian Rhapsody” scribe Anthony McCarten. So far only two cast members have been announced: British actress Naomi Ackie (“The 28 Fab Vegas

End of the F***ing World”) as Houston and Moses Ingram (“The Queen’s Gambit”) as Robyn Crawford. The fact that Crawford will be part of this story is major for queer audiences, but we’d be lying if we said we weren’t concerned that her relationship with Whitney will be straightwashed for the comfort of non-queers. For now we’re going to trust that Lemmons will know how important that is, and we’ll be saving all our love for it.

Halle Berry fights The Moon for Roland Emmerich In the future when historical revisionists try to tell you that queer filmmakers made queer films, you will remember this cultural moment and remind them that no, in fact, all queer filmmakers did not, and that in further point of fact,

some queer filmmakers made movies about Halle Berry battling the Moon. That’s what happens in the forthcoming Roland Emmerich sci-fi adventure movie “Moonfall,” in case you were wondering.

And it’s going to be amazing, we can already tell. The plot involves the Moon deciding to simply fall out of space and crash into Earth, potentially causing a fairly large mess unless a daring astronaut played by Halle Berry can stop the Moon on its deadly mission. She will need to enlist the help of fellow astronaut Patrick Wilson and a conspiracy theorist (John Bradley from “Game of Thrones”) to really properly kick the Moon’s ass, but you know she’s going to win. In 2022 when this film arrives on the biggest, loudest, dopiest screen near you, be prepared to cheer on Captain Berry. Or

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PLANET HOLLYWOOD maybe you’ll choose chaos and Credit: Instagram rootPhoto for the Moon.

We’re not here to tell you what to do.

‘Schitt’s Creek’ star Emily Hampshire takes on ‘Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman’ Emily Hampshire, the deadpan no-nonsense desk clerk of “Schitt’s Creek,” recently came out as pansexual. We love that for her and the community. But will it inform her next role, the vintage bewildered housewife Mary Hartman? Only the people rebooting “Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman” for TBS know for sure. But let’s back up for a moment, and teach the children about “MH, MH,” a sexually brazen, tonally wild, and sometimes flat-out weird Norman Learcreated sitcom soap opera of the 1970s that made actress Louise Lasser a star and scandalized unsuspecting audiences across the country.

So legendary was the freakout that many stations airing the soap quickly removed it from their afternoon lineups and plopped it down into very late night slots, away from the eyes of children and their furious parents. This new version will be co-written by Hampshire and gay “Letterkenny” cocreator Jacob Tierney, so there’ll be at least some sort of queer (and proudly Canadian) content for sure. But will it jolt us like it did 50 years ago?

We’re ready to find out.

speculate queerly and project our collective will into the atmosphere. Here’s what we know: Emmy-nominated genius creator of “I May Destroy You,” Michaela Coel, is in the upcoming Marvel Cinematic Universe film “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.” You can see her name on the IMDb page. Here’s what we don’t know: which character she’s playing. But… in a recent Instagram post she appears to be training with other actors from the film and her head is shaved. Do you know which Wakandabased character has a shaved head? And, if you are one of the queer comics kids who shouted “Aneka,” then you are correct. And Aneka is one of the Dora Milaje, a woman-power warrior force

in Wakanda. And Aneka is also in a queer relationship with a character named Ayo. (Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote a storyline for them in a recent series of Black Panther comics for Marvel.) And so from this we can conclude… officially nothing. But there are rumors and we want to keep spreading them and manifest this reality. So keep chanting the possibilities and let’s make it so.

Michaela Coel

What’s going on with Michaela Coel in the new ‘Black Panther’ movie?

OK, gather ’round, it’s time to 30 Fab Vegas

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.org

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Information for Teens: Staying Healthy and Preventing STDs If you choose to have sex, know how to protect yourself against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

What are sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

STDs are diseases that are passed from one person to another through sexual contact. These include chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV), syphilis, and HIV. Many of these STDs do not show symptoms for a long time. Even without symptoms, they can still be harmful and passed on during sex.

consider before having sex. It’s okay to say “no” if you don’t want to have sex.

•

If you do decide to have sex, you and your partner should get tested for STDs beforehand. Make sure that you and your partner use a condom from start to finish every time you have oral, anal, or vaginal sex. Know where to get condoms and how to use them correctly. It is not safe to stop using condoms unless you’ve both been tested for STDs, know your results, and are in a mutually monogamous relationship.

•

Mutual monogamy means that you and your partner both agree to only have sexual contact with each other. This can help protect against STDs, as long as you’ve both been tested and know you’re STD-free.

•

Before you have sex, talk with your partner about how you will prevent STDs and pregnancy. If you think you’re ready to have sex, you need to be ready to protect your body. You should also talk to your partner ahead of time about what you will and will not do sexually. Your partner should always respect your right to say no to anything that doesn’t feel right.

•

Make sure you get the health care you need. Ask a doctor or nurse about STD testing and about vaccines against HPV and hepatitis B.

•

Girls and young women may have extra needs to protect their reproductive health.

Talk to your doctor or nurse about regular cervical cancer screening, and chlamydia and gonorrhea testing. You may also want to discuss unintended pregnancy and birth control.

•

Avoid mixing alcohol and/or recreational drugs with sex. If you use alcohol and drugs, you are more likely to take risks, like not using a condom or having sex with someone you normally wouldn’t have sex with.

How are STDs spread?

You can get an STD by having vaginal, anal or oral sex with someone who has an STD. Anyone who is sexually active can get an STD. You don’t even have to “go all the way” (have anal or vaginal sex) to get an STD. This is because some STDs, like herpes and HPV, are spread by skinto-skin contact.

How common are STDs? STDs are common, especially among young people. There are about 20 million new cases of STDs each year in the United States. About half of these infections are in people between the ages of 15 and 24. Young people are at greater risk of getting an STD for several reasons: •

Young women’s bodies are biologically more prone to STDs.

•

Some young people do not get the recommended STD tests.

•

Many young people are hesitant to talk openly and honestly with a doctor or nurse about their sex lives.

•

Not having insurance or transportation can make it more difficult for young people to access STD testing.

•

Some young people have more than one sex partner.

What can I do to protect myself?

•

The surest way to protect yourself against STDs is to not have sex. That means not having any vaginal, anal, or oral sex (“abstinence”). There are many things to

36 Fab Vegas

against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

If Iare getsexually an STD, how will Idiseases know? (STDs)?

What transmitted STDs are diseases that are passed from one person to another Many STDs don’t cause any symptoms that you through sexual contact. These include chlamydia, gonorrhea, would notice. only way(HPV), to know for sure genital herpes, humanThe papillomavirus syphilis, and HIV. if you haveSTDs an STD to get tested.forYou can get an Many of these do notis show symptoms a long time.

Even without they can stillwith be harmful and passed STDsymptoms, from having sex someone whoonhas no during sex. symptoms.

Just like you, that person might not

even he or she has an STD. How are know STDs spread?

You can get an STD by having vaginal, anal or oral sex with Where can I get tested? someone who has an STD. Anyone who is sexually active can get an STD.There You don’t have that to “gooffer all theteen-friendly, way” (have anal or vaginal areeven places sex) to get an STD. This is because some STDs, like herpes and HPV, confidential, and free STD tests. This means that are spread by skin-to-skin contact.

no one has to find out you’ve been tested. Visit

How common to arefind STDs? GetTested an STD testing location near

STDs are common, especially among young people. There are you. about 20 million new cases of STDs each year in the United States.

About halfSTDs of thesebe infections are in people between the ages of Can treated?

15 and 24. Young people are at greater risk of getting an STD for Your doctor can prescribe medicine to cure several reasons:

some STDs, like chlamydia and gonorrhea.

• Young women’s bodies are biologically more prone Other STDs, like herpes, can’t be cured, but you to STDs.

can take medicine to help with the symptoms.

• Some young people do not get the recommended If STD youtests. are ever treated for an STD, be sure to

•finish Manyall young peoplemedicine, are hesitanteven to talkifopenly and better of your you feel honestly with a doctor or nurse about their sex before you finish it all.

Ask the doctor orlives. nurse

testing and treatment for your partner, •about Not having insurance or transportation can make it more difficult young people to access STD avoid testing.having too.

Youfor and your partner should until you’ve both been •sex Some young people have moretreated. than one Otherwise, sex partner you may continue to pass the STD back and forth. It is possible to get an STD again (after

What can I do to protect myself?

• The surest way to protect yourself against STDs is to not you’ve been you have sex with have sex.

Thattreated), means notifhaving any vaginal, anal, or someone who has anThere STD. oral sex (“abstinence”). are many things to consider before having sex. It’s okay to say “no” if you don’t want to What happens if I don’t treat an STD? have sex.

Some curable STDs can be dangerous if they aren’t treated. For example, if left untreated, CS287360A chlamydia and gonorrhea can make it difficult— or even impossible—for a woman to get pregnant. You also increase your chances of getting HIV if you have an untreated STD. Some STDs, like HIV, can be fatal if left untreated.

What if my partner or I have an incurable STD? Some STDs, like herpes and HIV, aren’t curable, but a doctor can prescribe medicine to treat the symptoms.

If you are living with an STD, it’s important to

tell partner before youyouhave sex. partner Although • Ifyour you do decide to have sex, and your should get tested for STDs beforehand.

Make sure that you and it may be uncomfortable to talk about your your partner usehonest a condom from start to finish every STD, open and conversation can help time you have oral, anal, or vaginal sex. Know where to your partner make informed decisions to get condoms and how to use them correctly. It is not protect his or her health. safe to stop using condoms unless you’ve both been STDs, knowwho your results, and are them? in a mutually If Itested havefor questions, can answer monogamous relationship.

If• you have questions, talk to a parent or other Mutual monogamy means that you and your partner both trusted be afraid be each openother. andThis agreeadult. to only Don’t have sexual contactto with honest with themagainst aboutSTDs, yourasconcerns.

If both you’re can help protect long as you’ve been and know evertested confused or you’re need STD-free. advice, they’re the first place to start.

After were young once, • Before you have sex, all, talk they with your partner about how too.you will prevent STDs and pregnancy. If you think you’re ready to have sex, you need to be ready to protect your

Talking about sexalso with parent or another body. You should talkato your partner ahead of time adult doesn’t need bewill a one-time about what you willto and not do sexually. Your partner conversation. bestyour to leave the forthat should alwaysIt’s respect right to saydoor no to open anything doesn’t feel right. conversations in the future.

• Make sure you get the health care you need. Ask a doctor It’s also important to talk honestly with a doctor or nurse about STD testing and about vaccines against or nurse.

Ask which STD tests and vaccines HPV and hepatitis B. they recommend for you.

• Girls and young women may have extra needs to protect

their reproductive health.information?

Talk to your doctor or nurse Where can I get more

about regular cervical cancer screening, and chlamydia

CDC and gonorrhea testing. You may also want to discuss

unintended birth control.

How You Canpregnancy Preventand Sexually Transmitted • Avoid mixing alcohol and/or recreational drugs with sex.

Diseases If you use alcohol and drugs, you are more likely to take www.cdc.gov/std/prevention/

risks, like not using a condom or having sex with someone

Teen youPregnancy normally wouldn’t have sex with. https://www.cdc.gov/ teenpregnancy/teens/ index.htm

CDC-INFO Contact Center 1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636) Contact wwwn.cdc.gov/dcs/ ContactUs/Form HealthFinder.gov STD Testing: Conversation Starters https://healthfinder.gov/ HealthTopics/ Category/health-conditions-and-diseases/ hiv-and-other-stds/std-testing-conversationstarters American Sexual Health Association Sexual Health and You http://www.iwannaknow.org/ teens/ sexualhealth.html FabLasVegas.com

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STD (SEXUALLY TRASMITTED DISEASES) INFO SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES INFO, TESTING & RESOURCES WHAT IS A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE? Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), also referred to as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), are infections that are commonly spread by sexual activity, especially vaginal intercourse, anal sex and oral sex.

WHAT IS HIV? HIV is a virus that attacks the body’s immune system.It is usually spread by anal or vaginal sex or sharing syringes with a person who has HIV. The only way to know you have HIV is to be tested.

Everyone aged 13-64 should be tested at least once, and people at high risk should be tested at least once a year. Ask your doctor, or visit gettested.cdc.gov to find a testing site. Without treatment, HIV can make a person very sick or may even cause death. If you have HIV, start treatment as soon as possible to stay healthy and help protect your partners.

Nevada is the fifth highest state in the United States for rates of new HIV diagnoses and is #1 in Syphillis *According to CDC HIV Surveillance Report, 2017 and the CDC Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance Report, 2017 released in 2018

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STD TESTING RESOURCE SOUTHERN NEVADA HEALTH DISTRICT ADDRESS: 280 S. Decatur Blvd. Las Vegas, NV 89107 HOURS: Monday – Friday 8 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.* *The clinic opens at 9:00 a.m. on the first Thursday of every month.

The following services are offered at the Sexual Health Clinic: 1.

Diagnosis and treatment of active or suspected cases of:

•

Chlamydia

•

Gonorrhea

•

Syphilis

•

HIV

•

Trichomonas (females only)

•

Bacterial Vaginosis (females only)

2.

Free condoms and instruction on how to safely use them (both male and female condom)

3.

Follow-up bloodwork

4.

High-risk behavior counseling

5.

HIV Nursing Case Management

6.

Injection series for syphilis medication

7.

Partner notification

8.

Referrals by private physicians

9.

Sexual assault follow-up

10. Test results and couseling Clients seeking treatment at the Sexual Health Clinic should know that the Health District is required to report cases involving assault or abuse to appropriate agencies.

HIV Testing: HIV antibody testing is a simple blood test performed by a trained professional. This procedure is strictly confidential. Counseling regarding the meaning of the test and its result take place before the actual testing to ensure you understand HIV infection and the testing procedure.

HIV testing procedure: Blood Test – Blood drawn from a vein is tested for HIV antibodies. This test is available at the Sexual Health Clinic (280 S. Decatur Blvd. Las Vegas, NV 89107 ), Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Please call (702) 759-0702 for more information.

If you have questions, contact the clinic by phone at (702) 759-0702 or by email at SexualHealth@snhd.org.

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PRIDE FLAGS

PRIDE FLAGS

COMMUNITY RESOURCES 44 Fab Vegas

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www.afanlv.org Aid for AIDS of Nevada (AFAN) provides support and advocacy for adults and children living with and affected by HIV/AIDS in Southern Nevada.

AFAN works to reduce HIV infection through prevention and education to eliminate fear, prejudice and the stigma associated with the disease.