(In)Convenience

(iN) CONVEnience

Love is simple. To (be) love(d) is not.

(In)convenience

Glenn stood up from the piano. He took the microphone and walked towards his girlfriend Saskia, who was standing in the crowd. He knelt down, held her hand, and pulled a sapphire ring from his pocket. He looked her straight in the eyes and asked, “Saskia Risjad, will you marry me?”

Although Glenn was the kind of guy who would perform grand romantic gestures, the proposal still took Saskia by surprise. She was sure she had specifically mentioned that she would prefer him to pop the question in private, in a photo booth, for example (just imagine the intimate moments captured by the sequence of photo strips!) Regardless, she was impressed; she knew Glenn was not really a singer in public and ‘Night and Day’ was one of her favourite songs. She hesitated. A moment later, she smiled and nodded. “Yes, yes I will.”

Glenn got to his feet and held Saskia. Then he kissed her forehead. He was glad everything went as he had planned. Glenn Sudiro was more than a 25-year-old architect with a perfect smile and bona fide paycheck. On top of the immaculate intellect, manifested through his intense gaze, he was a sentimental soul with a tendency to romanticise everything out of proportion. Glenn had always wanted to be married and start his own family with The One. When he was first introduced to Saskia, he could not tell if it was her big, bright eyes, her confidence, or her laughter that caught his attention but he knew instantly that she had to be The One. Saskia was 29, independent, and well established. She was not quite the conventional beauty with her high cheekbones, square face and dark skin but there was certainly temptation in her tall silhouette. She had too much blood in her caffeine system and used to say she would never settle down to start a family. Yet, it all changed when she met Glenn; straightaway all those love songs made sense to her. And if it was possible for home to be a person and not a place, then certainly for her, Glenn was home.

That evening was not a usual Saturday night to begin with. It was April 27, annually marked as the wedding anniversary of Glenn’s parents, Bayu and Grace Sudiro. The venue was also of special importance: undoubtedly one of the most romantic spots in the city with its 19 -century interior and the view of colonial Jakarta th

from its windows, Café Batavia was where Bayu proposed to Grace thirty-one years ago.

With Glenn and Saskia’s engagement, history was repeating itself. Exactly how Glenn wanted.

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“Selamat, sayang,” Grace embraced her son tightly before she moved on and hugged her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. Over the past four years, the two women had bonded over food, books and coffee; Grace was very fond of Saskia and had always been supportive of the relationship. “At last, we’re gonna be a family,” Grace said as she kissed Saskia cheek to cheek.

“Congratulations to you too, Tante,” Saskia said cheerfully.

Glenn wrapped his arm around Saskia’s slim waist. “Wish us luck so we can be just like you and Papa.”

Grace forced a half-smile. “Well,” she went on, “I’m sure –” “You’ll do even better than us,” Bayu cut in as he approached the three. He quickly rested a hand on Grace’s shoulder. “Congrats you both.”

Glenn looked amused. “I’m always amazed by how you can finish her sentences.”

Grace turned to her husband. “That’s what thirty years of hard labour do to you,” she remarked playfully.

Bayu furrowed his brows and asked, “Hard labour? I thought we agreed on marriage as a workshop?” He turned to Glenn and Saskia and continued, “Where the husband works and the wife shops!”

As the laughter faded Bayu and Grace glanced at each other. For a team of architect and interior designer, Bayu and Grace’s greatest composition was probably their marriage. However, if their marriage was a house, they both knew it was not the one with the strongest foundations. It was arguably something they built because the blueprint was pretty. At least that was what other engineers were saying and, well, the majority generally won. For what it’s worth, Jakarta was a city where everything was all about good image and they were always aware, since their high school years, of how great they looked together.

Grace was an elegant 51-year-old standing tall at five feet, eight inches. She was a natural brunette with pale skin and a sharp nose that she had inherited from her German mother. However, her real virtue was her patience and devotion as a wife as well as a mother.

Grace was a trophy and Bayu was the lucky man who had won it. He was not the most handsome man but at least his hair was not receding and neither was his waistline expanding. He was the archetypal dark-skinned Javanese man with traditional principles, a witty sense of humour, and repressed feelings. Like his youngest son, Bayu !(In)convenience

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was a loving and sensitive man, but he believed the best relationship was the one that did not need romantic scenes to be felt and remembered.

As Bayu and Grace left to talk to the other guests, a towering, athletic man in his late twenties came closer to Glenn. He tapped Glenn’s back. “Congrats on jumping the queue, Glenn!” he jested. Then he gave Saskia a friendly hug. “Selamat, Sas.” “If I have to wait for you, I’ll never get married lah,” Glenn laughed.

“Fair enough.” Older by four years, Ezra was quite the antithesis of his little brother. Unlike Glenn, he was the combination of Grace’s Eurasian features and Bayu’s restrained emotions. Furthermore, Ezra did not prioritise commitment. He was happily single, for he always thought that people in a relationship were either falling in love or falling apart. It was too inconvenient and he had no time for that.

“So, have you set a date yet?” Ezra asked. He smiled slyly.

Saskia answered, “No, we haven’t.” She turned to Glenn only to see he was smirking. She had seen this smile several times before. “Or have we?” she asked. She started to get slightly worried.

Glenn cleared his throat and exhaled. “Well, you always said you wanted a garden wedding and you love Dia.Lo.Gue. at Kemang.” He gave Saskia a warm look and continued, “I’ve booked them for June.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Err… like next year June?” She paused. “Or, next month June?”

“Do you want to wait a year?” he asked rhetorically.

She replied, “You already have everything planned, don’t you?”

“Well, that’s Glenn for you,” Ezra said. He turned to his brother. “Imagine if she said no, Glenn,” he giggled.

Glenn glanced at Saskia then looked back at his brother. “I knew she wouldn’t.”

He moved his hand up to her shoulder. “I also know you’re a very busy woman, sayang.

I decided to do as much as I can,” he said. Glenn stroked her hair and added, “Isn’t it more convenient for you?”

“I see,” Saskia mumbled. Anxiety had crept slowly from the pit of her stomach to her head. She felt the urge to talk to her best friend, whom she had not seen since she said yes to Glenn’s proposal.

Saskia looked at Ezra. “By the way, where’s Namira?”

“She…” He hesitated, unsure of what to say. “She went home.”

“Oh? She did?” Saskia was puzzled. “How come?” !

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Once again Ezra was reluctant to answer. He shrugged. “I think she wasn’t feeling well.”

“Ah, I was gonna ask her directly to be my bridesmaid,” Saskia said.

Glenn immediately responded, “Don’t worry. I got that covered already.”

“Sayang!” Saskia thumped Glenn’s arm lightly. She was both stupefied and petrified by how well he had organised the wedding. Glenn, there is something you

need to know.

As the sky turned purple and the call to prayer blared from nearby mosques, it looked like a typical Sunday around Cikini, with motorcycles weaving their way through the packed roads and vendors selling martabak on the sidewalks. Then again, in this city, there was no such thing as typical.

Saskia had spent the entire afternoon practising what she was going to say. He

deserves the truth. He loves me enough to plan the whole wedding. Glenn’s different. It should be all right. Saskia had chosen the venue, the ever-bustling Kopitiam Oey. She had learnt from experience that anything major should be discussed in a public place so that if something did not go smoothly, at least it would not end violently.

She looked at Glenn and took a deep breath. “Now that we’re engaged, there’s something you have to know,” she put on her deep, serious voice.

Glenn was intrigued and anxious to hear what she was going to confess. He hoped it was not something life-threatening like cancer. Or something like she had a child he did not know of. Although if it was, then he supposed he could be a great stepfather. Oh, wait, I hope she’s not gonna call everything off.

“Just say it. There shouldn’t be any secrets between us,” he demanded.

She took a sip of kopi susu. “So, I suppose,” she spoke slowly, “you asked my father before you proposed. You met my family, right?”

He gave her a warm smile. “Of course I did. Everybody knows we’re getting married. I’ve done all my homework if that’s what you were worried about.”

Saskia did not feel comforted - in fact, she was getting even more nervous. “Did my father tell you anything about my family?”

He took a moment to recall his talk with her father. Then he snapped his fingers, saying, “Ah, that. Yeah he did mention something…”

Saskia held her breath in anticipation.

He shrugged, “It’s not major. I’m cool with your family.” !(In)convenience

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He did? You are? Saskia was surprised. More than anything, she was glad. “So you’re cool even if he’s a polygamist with three wives ya,” she said. She sighed in relief.

“Alhamdulillah.” She took another sip of kopi susu.

Glenn was startled. He put down his kopi peng on the table. “I’m sorry, he’s a

what? Wait, no, he didn’t say anything – he’s a what, you said? Poly- is that still a thing?”

Saskia was perplexed. Wait, so you still don’t know? What was it that my father

told you? She looked around to make sure no one was looking at them or listening to their conversation. She whispered softly to Glenn, “He’s a polygamist.” She continued,

sotto voce, “with three wives.”

Glenn stared at her, not responding.

She gulped. The nervousness had come back, escalating in her head. She cleared her throat and put on a normal voice. “Remember Tante Ida and Ayu? Yeah, they aren’t exactly my aunts.”

Her confession stunned him. He looked back on all his meetings with her family. It finally dawned on him why there were so many people living in the family’s house, why Saskia’s dad was suspiciously friendly with her ‘Tantes’, and why all of these ‘aunts’ did not look alike. I knew they weren’t sisters! His first thought was figuring out how to tell his parents. People will judge, Glenn.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Glenn opened up.

An unsettling, intense gaze and another long silence followed his question. For Saskia, the feeling of déjà vu was overwhelming. Six years ago she told the same thing to a guy who she thought was the love of her life. That did not end well. He walked away and cut her off without an explanation. Not like she needed one, everything was clear: it was not about her. It was never about her, it was always about her funny family. Some people really took this issue seriously, as if there was no way to accept her and her background. It hurt because there was no way she could change that. She hated how people were so caught up in the idea of a ‘perfect family background’ as one of the criteria in choosing a spouse. Perfect families did not exist, she believed, even Glenn’s parents must have problems. When things looked too good to be true, they usually were, right? Regardless, she was aware that her baggage was too heavy for people to unpack and that was exactly why she had chosen to stay single; she never wanted to be a burden to anyone, especially to a person she loved most. This was her fate and she should live with it. !

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“Please answer the question,” he pleaded. “How long were you going to keep me unaware?”

Honestly, Saskia was rather surprised at how calm Glenn’s overall reaction was.

Her ex shouted at her when she disclosed this secret. See, Glenn’s different. She spoke up, “Well, I was going to tell you. Eventually.”

“Like a month before we got married?”

“Well,” she continued, “I didn’t know you would propose last night!”

He raised his husky voice, “I wanted it to be a surprise!”

“I’m returning the favour!” Saskia raised her voice too in response. Arguing with Saskia was like getting arrested, anything you said could and would be used against you.

Glenn paused. It’s her family, Glenn, it’s not her. The thought of his parents – his father – opposing the wedding ran through his mind. He remembered vividly the first time he brought Saskia over to meet them and his father was a bit taken aback upon knowing she was older. How is he gonna react to this?

“I need to discuss this with my parents,” he said.

It’s happening all over again. “What if,” she sounded wobbly, “they–” He cut in, “Marriage is never about two people. You know that.”

She kept silent.

He caressed her hand, trying to comfort her. “Don’t worry. I love you and we will be all right. I promise. I will fix this.” Glenn was not sure how exactly he was going to solve the problem but as a man he figured he had to take responsibility. After all, she was his One so he should fight for her.

“Let me take you home,” he offered.

Saskia felt terrible that Glenn had to deal with this. She knew lovers were supposed to support each other no matter what, and as the man in the relationship, Glenn was expected to be dependable. Still, she felt guilty. She was used to the misjudgement – the gossip, the insults and the alienation; she could not expect someone whom she had just met when she was 25 to deal with her polygamous family background as if it was nothing.

Then her phone rang. It was Namira. She tapped the green answer key.

“Yes? Are you feeling better?”

“Can we talk?” Namira’s voice was brittle. It was not like her at all.

Saskia was worried and curious to know what had happened. “The usual place?

Okay. I’ll see you in… twenty minutes,” she hung up. !(In)convenience

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She turned to Glenn, “Can you please drop me at Trio instead?”

When Saskia entered Restoran Trio, it was relatively empty. There were only two occupied tables and some of the elderly waiters were watching a soppy drama on the small TV next to the cashier. She quickly recognised the woman in a navy summer dress with black hair tied in a bun who was sitting in the corner. Her corner.

Namira was a bubbly girl: easygoing, spontaneous, and funny – she was quite adept at coming up with good comebacks. She had a youthful appearance with rosy skin, a pair of innocent brown eyes, and a petite frame that made it hard to believe her actual age was 27. Namira grew up in Menteng with the Sudiro brothers; it was her who introduced Saskia to Glenn.

Saskia sat down, ordered an ice tea, and wiped some parts of the greasy red table with a piece of tissue. On it, there was a feast that was more than enough to feed two women: fried rice, capcay, kam heong chicken and i fu mie. It never ceased to amaze Saskia how her former roommate could stay so thin despite eating so much. She knew these were all Namira’s comfort food; something was wrong.

“So, what happened?” Saskia asked.

“I shouldn’t have said it,” Namira said as she put down her es kopyor on the table. She rambled on, “Seriously, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have confessed. Bad timing. Now I’m embarrassed to even talk to him! I think it’s safe to say our friendship is ruined.” She paused for a moment. “I shouldn’t have said it.”

Saskia waited until she was sure Namira had nothing else to say. “Let me get this straight: you finally confessed to Ezra,” she pointed out.

Namira nodded.

It occurred to Saskia why Ezra was hesitant when she asked about Namira’s whereabouts. “Was that why you left early?”

Namira nodded again. “It was more awkward than I thought it would be,” she explained. She put some fried rice on Saskia’s plate. “Eat lah, eat lah.”

“Were you… sober?”

Why do people keep asking this? Namira did not reply.

Saskia sighed. “Honey, don’t ever confess when you’re sober.” She put some chili on top of her food. “Cos you won’t be able to blame it on the booze.”

“I must’ve gotten carried away last night. Like, everyone was all coupled up and there I was with my best guy friend – my all time crush, hello?! Suddenly, I blurted !

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everything.”

Namira continued, “I told him, II love you, let’s be more than friends.”

She everything.” everything.” Namira Namira continued, continued, “I “I told told him, him, I love love you, you, let’s let’s be be more more than than friends.” friends.” She She paused and exhaled.

“Then he asked if I was drunk before he realised II really was paused paused and and exhaled. exhaled. “Then “Then he he asked asked if if II was was drunk drunk before before he he realised realised I really really was was serious.” serious.” serious.”

Namira had mentioned the plan to confess before but Saskia had never fully Namira Namira had had mentioned mentioned the the plan plan to to confess confess before before but but Saskia Saskia had had never never fully fully supported it.

Saskia believed that by nature, men were the ones who were supposed to supported supported it. it. Saskia Saskia believed believed that that by by nature, nature, men men were were the the ones ones who who were were supposed supposed to to make a move; after all, it was the sperm that swam through, burrowed and fertilised the make make aa move; move; after after all, all, it it was was the the sperm sperm that that swam swam through, through, burrowed burrowed and and fertilised fertilised the the egg!

Saskia had told Namira to reconsider her scheme or at least do something that egg! egg! Saskia Saskia had had told told Namira Namira to to reconsider reconsider her her scheme scheme or or at at least least do do something something that that would give her a bargaining chip in order to take the relationship further. Otherwise, would would give give her her aa bargaining bargaining chip chip in in order order to to take take the the relationship relationship further. further. Otherwise, Otherwise, Namira would be perpetually stuck in the friendzone.

Namira Namira would would be be perpetually perpetually stuck stuck in in the the friendzone. friendzone.

“To him I might be the perfect friend, but honestly, I’m just in love,” Namira “To “To him him II might might be be the the perfect perfect friend, friend, but but honestly, honestly, I’m I’m just just in in love,” love,” Namira Namira admitted.

She pondered how the one person capable of loving her properly had no admitted. admitted. She She pondered pondered how how the the one one person person capable capable of of loving loving her her properly properly had had no no interest in doing so. She gulped down the rest of the food on her plate and took some interest interest in in doing doing so. so. She She gulped gulped down down the the rest rest of of the the food food on on her her plate plate and and took took some some i fu mie .

“Oh well, the highest level of loving someone is to let him be happy even more more fu mie mie.. “Oh “Oh well, well, the the highest highest level level of of loving loving someone someone is is to to let let him him be be happy happy even even more ii fu if it doesn’t include you, right?” if if it it doesn’t doesn’t include include you, you, right?” right?”

“Sorry.”

Saskia shook her head.

“That’s the highest level of bullshit.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.” Saskia Saskia shook shook her her head. head. “That’s “That’s the the highest highest level level of of bullshit.” bullshit.”

Loving someone was never really a simple, selfless matter.

Saskia knew that.

Loving Loving someone someone was was never never really really aa simple, simple, selfless selfless matter. matter. Saskia Saskia knew knew that. that.

Romance was all about ego.

There would always be that selfishness of wanting the other Romance Romance was was all all about about ego. ego. There There would would always always be be that that selfishness selfishness of of wanting wanting the the other other person to put in the same effort, to accept unconditionally, and to know everything person person to to put put in in the the same same effort, effort, to to accept accept unconditionally, unconditionally, and and to to know know everything everything without having to be told.

Everyone wanted to be loved exclusively and that was a fact. without without having having to to be be told. told. Everyone Everyone wanted wanted to to be be loved loved exclusively exclusively and and that that was was aa fact. fact.

“Anyway, enough about me.

Congrats on the engagement,” Namira spoke up.

“Anyway, “Anyway, enough enough about about me. me. Congrats Congrats on on the the engagement,” engagement,” Namira Namira spoke spoke up. up.

“God, I’ve been keeping this for like what, almost a year maybe?”

She took a sip of es “God, “God, I’ve I’ve been been keeping keeping this this for for like like what, what, almost almost aa year year maybe?” maybe?” She She took took aa sip sip of of es es kopyor .

“Glenn’s really something ya .

That guy.” kopyor kopyor.. “Glenn’s “Glenn’s really really something something ya ya.. That That guy.” guy.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Saskia smiled. “I just hope things can work out in spite of the “He “He is, is, isn’t isn’t he?” he?” Saskia Saskia smiled. smiled. “I “I just just hope hope things things can can work work out out in in spite spite of of the the 1 1 Berbagi Suami thing.”

She confessed, “I finally told him today.”

1 Berbagi Berbagi Suami Suami1 thing.” thing.” She She confessed, confessed, “I “I finally finally told told him him today.” today.”

Namira gasped.

“I thought you told him already?

So how did he react?”

Namira Namira gasped. gasped. “I “I thought thought you you told told him him already? already? So So how how did did he he react?” react?”

“He was surprisingly calm but I knew he was quite upset,” Saskia replied. Her “He “He was was surprisingly surprisingly calm calm but but II knew knew he he was was quite quite upset,” upset,” Saskia Saskia replied. replied. Her Her guilt and insecurity reemerged.

“I’m actually more worried about his family though. guilt guilt and and insecurity insecurity reemerged. reemerged. “I’m “I’m actually actually more more worried worried about about his his family family though. though.

You know how they’re all about good image,” she said quietly.

You You know know how how they’re they’re all all about about good good image,” image,” she she said said quietly. quietly.

After almost aa week, Glenn finally managed to make himself talk to his parents.

He sat After After almost almost a week, week, Glenn Glenn finally finally managed managed to to make make himself himself talk talk to to his his parents. parents. He He sat sat at the dining table with Bayu and Grace.

They had just finished dinner and now all at at the the dining dining table table with with Bayu Bayu and and Grace.

Grace. They They had had just just finished finished dinner dinner and and now now all all Glenn had to do was bring the subject smoothly into the conversation.

He knew it was Glenn Glenn had had to to do do was was bring bring the the subject subject smoothly smoothly into into the the conversation. conversation. He He knew knew it it was was unlikely the talk would turn into an argument. Nonetheless, he had organised the unlikely unlikely the the talk talk would would turn turn into into an an argument. argument. Nonetheless, Nonetheless, he he had had organised organised the the !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Berbagi Suami Berbagi Suami (literally (literally ‘Sharing ‘Sharing Husbands’) Husbands’) is is aaa controversial controversial Indonesian Indonesian movie movie about about polygamy. polygamy.

Berbagi Berbagi Suami Suami (literally (literally ‘Sharing ‘Sharing Husbands’) Husbands’) is is a controversial controversial Indonesian Indonesian movie movie about about polygamy. polygamy.

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evening to make sure his parents would be in the right mood. He had thought of bringing Saskia along but Glenn did not want to make her feel uncomfortable in case snarky comments came to pass. Like most men, he did not want to see the woman he loved most stand up and take a fall for him.

Glenn opened up, “There’s something you need to know about Saskia.”

Bayu and Grace watched him in anticipation.

“It’s okay, Glenn. You can tell us,” she nodded encouragingly.

“Yes,” Glenn murmured. He paused, staring at his father. He took a deep breath. “You know how serious I am with this relationship and Saskia…”

“C’mon, Glenn. Get somewhere,” Bayu insisted. He was familiar with his youngest son’s propensity to include a long preamble before delivering the point, so as to ensure ‘people got the whole context’. Still, Bayu often found Glenn’s ‘prologue’ – be it words or actions – nerve-wracking.

Glenn cleared his throat and started the speech he had practised, “I just found out she comes from a polygamous family; it surprised me too. Now I’m not saying polygamy isn’t an issue – it is – but to be honest, it doesn’t matter to me because I really love her.” He stopped for a moment. “I hope you don’t mind as well.” Well done,

Glenn.

A long pause followed his confession.

“Well, you know how we will always support your decision,” Grace said in her motherly, dulcet tone.

Bayu quickly turned to her, surprised. “We?” He continued, “What do you mean we? This is not a simple problem. You can’t simply say we, you support this, Grace. Glenn, how come you only just found out now? Didn’t you understand how we always said–” Glenn cut in, “Family’s important and background matters. Yes, I get that but her family is not her.”

“Still, this sort of thing matters,” Bayu pointed out.

Grace clucked. “Matters to who? To you? Or to everybody?” She could not help but indicate her own frustration.

Do you really have to do that? Bayu sighed. “Do you have any idea how people will see us if they know our in-laws are polygamists? Do you know what they will say about us – about you? Mistreating women, lusty fundamentalists, backward thinking…”

“Her family isn’t like that at all!” Glenn objected, raising his voice !

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unintentionally. He figured this must be what it was always like for Saskia; it only made him want to protect her more so she would never have to face this alone again.

“I know, but are you ready to be perceived that way?” Bayu asked.

“If that’s what it takes to be with her.”

“Don’t be too naïve, Glenn.”

Glenn was quite offended. How can you say that, Pa? “I’m serious.”

Grace interrupted, “He’s an adult. He can make his own decision. It’s his life.”

“Precisely, that’s why he needs to think carefully. Aren’t we supposed to be on the same team here?” Bayu looked at his wife intensely. She did not respond. He was somewhat disappointed at her reaction to this situation and how they had ended up with a tragi-comic divergence over this matter. On top of that, he was also not pleased with the way she hinted at the trouble in their own relationship; it was very inconsiderate of her to do that in front of their son.

Bayu took a deep breath. “All I’m saying is, you need to really consider this.

Don’t be hasty.”

“As I told you before, I love you and we will be all right.”

Glenn hung up the phone and continued to write his ‘keynote speech’ in a journal. He promised himself to speak to his parents again tomorrow; he would convince his father about his unchanged plan to settle down with Saskia and he knew exactly how to do it. He smiled confidently, closed his journal, and lit a cigarette.

He was sitting on one of the benches facing the fountain in Taman Suropati. It was almost midnight yet the air felt warm and humid. There were several groups of buskers around, either singing out of tune to Guns n’ Roses or getting high on liquid adhesive. Along the margins of the park, food vendors were selling roti bakar, fried rice, satay and porridge from their rustic, dimly lit carts. Plus, since this was a city that never sleeps, there were quite a lot of people enjoying the late-night street dining while sitting on the narrow benches or plastic stools. Glenn took pleasure in observing the life around him; it allowed him to be introspective and grateful. Saskia was always concerned about this habit. Sayang, you could get mugged, she always said. However, old habits died hard.

“Ah, I knew it was you.”

Glenn turned around to find Ezra walking towards him with a plate of fried rice and satay. He shifted position so his brother could sit next to him. !(In)convenience

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“Mas? What are you doing here?” he asked in surprise.

“Too lazy to cook,” Ezra said. He offered his plate, “Satay?”

Glenn raised a hand, showing his cigarette. “Thanks, I’m good for now.”

He scrutinised his brother from head to toe: Ezra was wearing an old T-shirt, shorts and old slippers, so he must have left from home. Glenn knew Ezra was never the type who would go out eating in parks past midnight, and if he ever did, he would prefer to be served through the window of his car. He must be looking for me.

“So, life problems?” Glenn put forward.

“Girl problems: Namira. She said she loved me,” Ezra replied.

“Whoa!” At last!

“Then I asked if she was drunk.”

Glenn’s excitement turned into a frown of disapproval. “Mas… that is so–” Ezra interjected, “I really thought she was joking. C’mon, we’re friends!”

Glenn paused. “Well, most relationships start from long-time friendships.

Saskia and I, we’re just a rare case.” He finished his cigarette and took one satay stick.

“She really cares about you, lho. She gave you a mixtape.”

“So?” “Everybody knows a mixtape is the most romantic gift ever.”

Ezra laughed. “Glenn, life is not an ‘80s teen-movie.” He took another bite of satay then a sip of Teh Botol. He said, “Plus she’s a radio DJ. It’s her job to make mixtapes.”

Glenn shrugged. “Well, women communicate in subtext.”

“Look at you, Mr. I’ve-only-dated-one-girl-in-my-life, talking about women.”

Ezra said jokingly.

“Whatever, I’m still the one who gets the message. See, quality over quantity,” Glenn teased. “Anyway, how are things going? Have you apologised?”

“That’s the thing, she’s not returning my calls and WhatsApp. She’s making things more awkward than they already are.”

Glenn looked at his brother. “She really loves you, you know.”

Ezra paused. “Love is a word used too much,” he added, “and too soon.”

“Well, I just don’t want your fears to rob you of something truly special.”

Ezra did not respond.

“By the way, I finally told Papa about ‘The Saskia Situation’.” Glenn lit another cigarette. !

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“So, how did the old man take it?”

“Well, you know him.” He puffed away at his cigarette. “But I’m gonna try to convince him again. I’m not changing my mind about Saskia.”

Ezra thought for a moment. The he asked, “Do you think she has another secret?”

Glenn did not reply immediately. “Well, I’ll have the rest of my life to find out everything about her.”

“I will marry her. She is my One.” Glenn said it confidently in front of Bayu and Grace during lunch. “So, please support me – it’s all I’m asking for.”

Bayu examined his son; Glenn reminded him of himself in the old days, especially the way Glenn stubbornly asserted that Saskia was The One. He once felt that with Grace, although it was much less dramatic. Admittedly, in their case, marriage was the logical outcome: they had been dating for so long and their families knew each other. She was charming, caring, and he could see himself raising a family with her. It was very convenient.

He simpered. “What makes you so sure she’s your One? Just curious.”

“The same way you knew you both were each other’s The One,” Glenn continued. “You simply know.”

Glenn’s words stunned Grace. The One? She loved Bayu but she always thought they got married out of practicality; they had been in a relationship for too long for it to not go anywhere serious. The benefits of getting married to one another simply outweighed the potential costs – break-up and financial disarray. Not to mention, Bayu was a responsible husband with potential (a woman married a man not for what he was, but rather for his potential, right?)

“Actually,” she spoke slowly, “maybe your dad is not quite The One for me and I’m not The One for him as well.” She was reluctant to admit it but she needed to get that out.

What are you doing? Bayu turned quickly to Glenn and upon seeing his son’s surprised face quickly added, “But I always thought, who will be?” He looked at Grace, asking, “Right?”

Grace turned away from Bayu. The silence that followed was rather awkward, if not unsettling. Something was wrong; Glenn could sense it. Regardless of whether the !(In)convenience

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concept of a One was dated, imagined and created out of a need to sell romantic comedies and Valentine’s Day cards, Glenn found it shocking that people like his parents did not really believe in such a concept. Don’t they believe in true love?

Sensing Glenn’s slight discomfort, Bayu commented, “I think Glenn, love is all about keeping the promise.” He went on, “After all, what a man, what a father should do is love his children’s mother.” He turned once again to Grace, who still had not uttered a word.

Glenn broke the silence, “So, will you support my decision then?”

“If you are really sure that she is your One,” Bayu gave Glenn a warm smile, “Then don’t let me stop you.”

It was a gloriously lazy Saturday and the rain was pouring outside Potato Head. Glenn, Saskia and Namira were having brunch together. Ezra was supposed to join them but he cancelled at the last minute because of a project deadline. Secretly, Namira was happy Ezra could not make it; she was still embarrassed from their last incident and they had yet to talk normally again.

Glenn watched Saskia cut her pancake from the corner of his eye. It was one of his little joys to know that she had something other than coffee filling her system; her habit of skipping breakfast always worried him. Sayang, missing breakfast damages your

brain, he said it every time. Sayang, my brain is already damaged, that was what she replied all the time. In three weeks or so he could ensure that that conversation would never happen again.

“So, all is good for the wedding now?” Namira asked, sounding jolly.

“Yup,” Saskia nodded.

Glenn gave a thumbs-up. “Alles klar! Life is good again,” he continued, turning to Saskia, “and will get better.” He set his hand on hers.

She smiled in return.

“Okay, let’s make an early toast then,” Namira raised her glass of orange juice.

Glenn and Saskia raised their drinks.

“To… love, the wedding, and friendship!” Namira exclaimed in joy. They clinked their glasses and took a sip.

Glenn cleared his throat. “Speaking of love and friendship,” he went on, looking at Namira, “how long are you and Ezra going to be like this?”

Namira did not reply immediately. She shrugged. “Dunno.” She took a bite of !

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bread and said, “The thing is, I still can’t bring myself to face him in person.” She rambled on as usual, “What am I gonna say? What is he gonna say? I’m sure he sees me differently now. I should’ve known better; he’s just nice and I’m not special.”

“Who says you’re not special? A guy and a girl being good friends since their childhood is definitely something,” Saskia said. She turned to Glenn. “Right?”

He nodded in agreement.

Namira clucked. “Still, who am I kidding? His sign is Aquarius; he doesn’t want commitment!” She added, “But it’s annoying cos we’re actually compatible!”

Glenn held his laughter. “Do you really believe in horoscopes?”

“Well, you two are the typical Mr. Virgo and Miss Scorpio couple.” Namira stood up and took her plate. “Do you want anything from the fruit bar?”

Glenn and Saskia shook their heads.

“No? Okay, be right back.” She walked off.

“You miss the ‘double dates’ don’t you, Mr. Matchmaker?” Saskia teased Glenn.

Glenn put down his fork. “Hey, I just wanted to make it nice and easy for everybody you know. They’re into the same music, they make each other laugh, and they’ve known each other forever. Admit it, they’d make a cute couple.” He explained further, “They have the chemistry. All they need is serendipity, hence my double dates.” He grinned.

Saskia always found Glenn’s optimism on romance adorable. That was what she liked the most about him: the way he had restored her faith in love. Her whole life had been vague but finally she would have something secure: him. Maybe opposites do

attract. “Glenn?” she called out.

“Yes?” She smiled and said jokingly, “I still think a matchmaker is a pro bono pimp.”

The pre-wedding preparations meant Bayu and Grace would have to be together, pretending to be the perfect couple. Bayu figured he could use this opportunity to mend things with Grace. It had been a while since they had spent time alone doing something that was not work-related; he enjoyed her company and he took great pride in being seen with her side by side. For Grace the whole thing was torment. The last couple of weeks had intensified what she thought their relationship was: a fairy-tale romance without the happily ever after. !(In)convenience

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She was sitting opposite Bayu at the same spot in Café Batavia where he had proposed to her, the one table by the window on the second floor. She was wearing a light pink rose-patterned dress and he was wearing his favourite black shirt. Their outfits today were almost identical to the ones they wore at their engagement party. In the background, Earth, Wind and Fire’s ‘After The Love Has Gone’ was playing. How

fitting, she thought. Grace remembered Earth, Wind and Fire also being played that evening thirty-one years ago although the song was different; appropriately, it was ‘Got To Get You Into My Life’. The décor and overall ambience of the restaurant had not changed much. Simply put, everything looked more or less indistinguishable but it did not feel the same for her.

She observed her husband, looking for some sign of endearment, not just commitment. She once praised Bayu for his commitment but now it felt like it was more of a curse than a blessing. She piped up, “Mas, have you ever thought what would have happened if we did not get married?”

Bayu hesitated. “To be honest, not really. I don’t think our lives would be so different if we didn’t get married to one another.” Classic, diplomatic Bayu Sudiro answer.

His answer disappointed her; Grace wondered why Bayu could not be honest with her. She knew Bayu was aware of how she had had enough of him trying to maintain the perfect couple image. She hated how they had spent their time together pretending they had not fully acknowledged this fact. He tried even harder to maintain their marriage; she knew that but it was painful to endure watching him try.

“It’s time for us to get a divorce.” She looked him in the eye and continued, “Don’t you think so?”

He put a hand on his forehead. “Not again, Grace.”

“Mas, I’m tired of pretending that we’re happy. That we’re married!” she sighed in exasperation, a trace of bitterness creeping into her soft voice.

He was confused. “Pretending? We are married.”

“I can’t live like this anymore. It’s been too long.”

“Exactly. Would you rather throw everything away? What we had for thirty years? No, make that thirty-seven.” Give us another chance, won’t you?

“So, you want to spend the next thirty years doing this?” she asked.

He did not answer right away. He gazed into her, searching for a possible explanation of her unhappiness. He did not get it; he did not understand her. Aren’t we !

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supposed to be in that stage of comfort by now? He tried to recollect some of their happy memories: their first date, the wedding day, the day Ezra was born, the moment they found out she was pregnant with Glenn, their anniversaries, their trips abroad – he could go on. She was happy, wasn’t she?

“Why now?” he asked. “Why now, when we’ve been together for so long, when all our children have grown up, when… when it’s too late?” He reached for her hand.

She let go. “Because who knows, a year from now, Glenn might have his own children and you, being you, will want to set the ‘right example’ for our grandchildren.”

She continued, “Mas, we’ve been pleasing everyone for so long. Too long.”

He glanced at her hand and noticed the ring was no longer where it was supposed to be. He looked at the ring on his finger. In a way the rings had pointed out the reality of their relationship: he was the one who loved more, or at least he was the one who had coped for longer. Perhaps a little part of him always knew that – he could see all the signs, but refused to admit it because his heart would not admit what his mind already knew. He figured there was no point living with someone who did not want to spend the rest of her life with him. He took off his ring and put it on the table.

Out of the blue, he remembered the game they used to play when they were still dating: the song lyrics conversation.

“Grace, if you leave me now…” he pleaded.

She smiled wanly at him. You still remember. “Bi, yesterday was all we had.”

It is a rule universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going all right, another falls dramatically into pieces. In addition, this was Jakarta, where there would always be something to ruin your day. Glenn did not see his parents’ divorce coming. If they said the whole relationship was always pragmatic and logical, then Glenn failed to see the logic behind separating after thirty-seven years. What happened to ‘love is all

about keeping the promise’?

“They taught me everything about love,” he mumbled. He stirred his alcoholic bubble tea. That Friday night Fook Yew was packed with office workers who had just got off work and teenagers on dates. Glenn sat down with Saskia and Ezra for their weekly dinner/‘double date’ – he and Saskia had intentionally chosen Namira’s secondfavourite restaurant as this week’s venue hoping she would turn up, but she still refused.

Glenn went on again, “They were… my heroes.”

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“Sometimes what you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are,” Ezra responded quickly. He looked at Glenn sympathetically. Between them, his younger brother had always been the optimistic and sensitive one. “You were probably too young to remember,” he continued, “but they fought a lot when we were kids. Why do you think we spent so much time at Grandma’s?”

Did they? I can’t recall. Glenn could only remember that weird vibe he got after he asked about The One. Now it all makes sense. He pouted sullenly. Then he took a sip of the oolong bubble tea mixed with Gordon’s Gin. Saskia held Glenn’s hand. She did not know what to say; sorry was so cliché and a cliché was the last thing he needed. “Sayang,” she spoke up. She waited to make sure Glenn was listening to her. She continued, “You know, every time I feel angry and disappointed at my parents ya, I remind myself, hey, they brought me up. I vomited on them and they kept me.”

Ezra nodded. “Glenn, maybe they don’t work out as a couple, but they are the best parents you – we – will ever have. Like, nobody’s going to love us like they do.

Nobody.”

Glenn stared at Saskia and Ezra. It was a little too late to soften the fossilised ideas he had been carrying around his entire life about love as an everlasting, magical thing. It dawned on him that life was probably playing around with him by placing them in this aptly named restaurant. Yes, fook yew, Glenn. Fook yew and your quixotism.

He asked, “What if the whole thing about ‘true love will triumph’ is a big fat lie after all?”

“It’ll still be the best lie we have, no?” Saskia said. She caressed his hair, like she always did whenever he was worn out. “Sometimes the people who are supposed to be our role models give the worst possible example. But if you think about it, their bad example is actually a good lesson.”

“I agree,” Ezra said. “Marriage is a constant workshop, like Papa repeated.” He took one dimsum using his chopsticks and put it on his plate. “And I’m sure you guys are the best workshop partners.” He smiled warmly. Frankly speaking, Ezra was not entirely confident. Things fall apart. But he could see Glenn was the kind of person who liked to shower people with affection. Glenn was not someone who would take Saskia for granted; Glenn was different from Bayu.

Glenn thought about what Ezra and Saskia had told him. He could see their points; he had got the two concepts mixed up before but now it was clearer: love might !

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be miraculous magic but marriage was constant work. In a way, he was glad Saskia had be miraculous magic but marriage was constant work. In a way, he was glad Saskia had a more pragmatic view on love and romance. If she was as hopelessly romantic as he a more pragmatic view on love and romance. If she was as hopelessly romantic as he was, who knows how shaken they would have been at this moment. She was very was, who knows how shaken they would have been at this moment. She was very different, but he supposed they completed each other. He drew her closer and kissed different, but he supposed they completed each other. He drew her closer and kissed her forehead. her forehead.

“I can’t believe it, you’re a dream comin’ true.” Like father like son, Glenn “I can’t believe it, you’re a dream comin’ true.” Like father like son, Glenn loved conversing in song lyrics. loved conversing in song lyrics.

Saskia smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. More often than not, Glenn’s Saskia smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. More often than not, Glenn’s borderline cheesiness made her want to cringe. Nonetheless she always appreciated his borderline cheesiness made her want to cringe. Nonetheless she always appreciated his expressive passion; she secretly wished she could be as eloquent. She caressed his hand expressive passion; she secretly wished she could be as eloquent. She caressed his hand again. again.

Glenn noticed she was trying to return the gesture. “Don’t go changing, to try Glenn noticed she was trying to return the gesture. “Don’t go changing, to try and please me,” he crooned, “I love you just the way you are.” and please me,” he crooned, “I love you just the way you are.”

“Oh, Glenn, you should try listening to things other than Pa’s cassettes,” Ezra “Oh, Glenn, you should try listening to things other than Pa’s cassettes,” Ezra could not hold his laughter in any longer. Absentmindedly, he turned to the seat next could not hold his laughter in any longer. Absentmindedly, he turned to the seat next to him, where Namira should/would have been. “Can you bel– ” He stopped himself, to him, where Namira should/would have been. “Can you bel– ” He stopped himself, realising she was not there. Ah, she should’ve been here, she would’ve agreed. realising she was not there. Ah, she should’ve been here, she would’ve agreed.

Glenn held Saskia’s hand, taking her around Dia.Lo.Gue on that special Sunday Glenn held Saskia’s hand, taking her around Dia.Lo.Gue on that special Sunday morning. The spacious art gallery had been turned into an intimate wedding venue for morning. The spacious art gallery had been turned into an intimate wedding venue for one hundred guests. He walked her to the garden, showing the arrangements of one hundred guests. He walked her to the garden, showing the arrangements of peonies, tuberoses and hydrangeas that were placed in old glass jars on each table and peonies, tuberoses and hydrangeas that were placed in old glass jars on each table and at every corner. Then he pointed out the mishmash of white china and small glass at every corner. Then he pointed out the mishmash of white china and small glass lanterns hung on the frangipani trees, all the little things she had mentioned once or lanterns hung on the frangipani trees, all the little things she had mentioned once or twice when they talked about their dream wedding. twice when they talked about their dream wedding.

He turned to her. “How do you like this, soon-to-be Mrs. Sudiro?” Glenn was He turned to her. “How do you like this, soon-to-be Mrs. Sudiro?” Glenn was striking in a white beskap22 and jarik33, the ensemble he had long dreamt to wear ever striking in a white beskap and jarik , the ensemble he had long dreamt to wear ever since he was a little boy. “Oh, and the jazz band is going to be there.” He pointed to the since he was a little boy. “Oh, and the jazz band is going to be there.” He pointed to the corner on the right side of the gallery. corner on the right side of the gallery.

Saskia was once again impressed by his preparations and, most of all, by how he Saskia was once again impressed by his preparations and, most of all, by how he still remembered even the tiny details she had mentioned years before. She hugged him. still remembered even the tiny details she had mentioned years before. She hugged him.

“Everything is perfect.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Everything is perfect.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 Beskap is the Javanese equivalent of a tuxedo. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Beskap the Javanese equivalent of a tuxedo.

Jarik is aiskind of batik sarong typically worn on formal occasions with a beskap top.

Jarik is a kind of batik sarong typically worn on formal occasions with a beskap top.

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“Anything for my beautiful bride,” he said, looking at her affectionately. He examined the alluring white lace kebaya wrapping the delicate curves of her body; he also liked the captivating contrast between the colour of the blouse-dress and her glowing, olive skin. He touched her hair, which was tied up in a chignon bun.

He grabbed her hand. “Let me show you the photo booth.” I still haven’t

forgotten that one.

Her eyes widened in excitement. “We have a photo booth?”

Meanwhile, Namira was going around the garden, doing a last-minute inspection on the décor. She could sense from the smell of his Hugo Boss perfume that Ezra was walking towards her. She turned around to find him holding two cups of ice chendol, her favourite ice-drink.

“Hey,” she said. Then she glanced at the two cups. “The one from Kedai Kak Ani?” He nodded. “I thought you’d be thirsty.” Ezra gave her one of the cups.

Although he admitted that he was supposed to be there mainly for Glenn, Ezra could not deny that he was glad this wedding was taking place so he finally got to see her, his best friend (who also happened to be a girl). “Long time no see. Apa kabar?”

She shrugged. “Not bad. Could be worse.” She led them to a bench near the frangipani trees, took a sip and turned to him. “How about you?”

“Missing my best friend,” he said.

Namira tried not to blush. That was how it always had been with Ezra: he spoke to her with words, but she looked at him with feelings. Still, she figured she should not have let him know that she loved him because she would never hear it back. Her confession was a mistake on her part.

“I’m sorry I said it. It was a horrible thing to say,” she told him.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Don’t say that. That was sweet.” He paused. “If anything, I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m sorry I had nothing to say that night.”

“Do you have anything to say now?” She readjusted her position, shrugging his arm off.

Ezra looked away, thinking. Then he turned back to her. Fine, we’ll talk.

“You’re my best friend. No, more than that, you’re like family to me.” He went on, “And I don’t mean that in a ‘you freak me out and we shouldn’t hang out so often’ way.” !

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She gazed at him, straight-faced, not responding.

“Just want to clarify,” he said.

“Of course.”

He cleared his throat and put on his serious voice. “The thing is, I don’t want to turn you into a ‘risk’ by making you my girlfriend.” He took another sip. “You know, all the fighting, the break up, I can’t risk it with you.” He waited for her to reply but she was gazing at him attentively as if she was looking for a switch to make him love her the way she did. He added, “I don’t want us to be each other’s ‘Somebody That I Used to Know’.”

She drank her beverage slowly. “At this rate, we’re halfway there, no?”

Well, if you’d answer my calls so we could continue hanging out, then it doesn’t have to end that way. He shrugged. “Let’s be nothing. It lasts forever.”

“But I don’t want to be nothing. I just want us to be friends,” she continued, “plus a little extra.” She examined his black beskap. For her, every man looked good in it; the fact that he was wearing one doubled the appeal. Plus a little extra.

Ezra sighed. He knew that the only thing worse than not being able to find happiness was to find it and throw it away. Nevertheless there was too much at stake in their friendship. He thought of his parents and how it seemed to have begun so well but ended just the same. Things fall apart, eventually. Okay, maybe I’m generalising this a

bit too much. But still– He scoffed. “Love is a risk. What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Ah, what if it does?”

He was startled.

She looked him in the eye and repeated her question, “What if it does?”

Why don’t you just slap me? Ezra did not reply, turning away. He reminisced about their friendship: the early days when they would go skating around Menteng in roller quads, the concerts they went to, the long talks they had during their road trips, their inside jokes… he realised: he could not remember life before her. Wouldn’t it be

nice if we were together?

“I don’t want to rush anything,” he said.

She laughed lightly, mostly to herself. “I’m not asking you to.”

Bayu was looking at a small photograph of him and Grace on their wedding day.

This photo is my proof. There was one evening when things were still good between us, she held me and we were so happy, he thought. Then he put the picture back inside his !(In)convenience

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wallet. It did happen, she did love me. How could he expect to forget her, who gave him so much to remember?

Leaving was the easy part but there would always be traces of past memories waiting to resurface – that unique slot Bayu made for Grace in his heart would always be there, even after they grew apart. It’s not a bad thing, he kept reminding himself.

You just need to be more comfortable with it. He knew she had gone for good and maybe for the better.

“Mas,” Grace approached from behind. “How’s life been treating you?”

He turned and replied, “Well, it’s never the same without you.” He pulled a chair and asked her to sit down. “And you? Did you miss me?”

She sat down. “I guess it takes time to adjust to being alone again after so many years.”

Bayu tried to smile. Frankly, he did not know what he would do now that Grace was no longer the gravity his life circled around. Being together with someone was similar to taking one long course into who that person was; when the relationship was over, all that stuff became useless. It was the emotional equivalent of a Philosophy degree.

“Well, for me, living at Ezra’s feels like being in university again,” he laughed.

She gave him a tender look. “When will you move to the new place?”

“In two or three weeks I think.”

There was a seemingly endless pause before Grace broke the silence. “I’ve sent the papers to his flat,” she continued, “You just have to sign them.”

“Sometimes,” he replied, “I keep thinking to myself it’s a bad dream.” Bayu looked at her, hoping she could tell how he was genuinely sorry for not making their relationship his priority and for taking her for granted.

“Well, you don’t know what you got till it’s gone,” she said, referencing Joni Mitchell.

He paused for a moment, searching for some lyrics to reply. He decided to quote Willie Nelson, “Little things I should’ve said and done, I never took the time.”

He reached for her hand. But you were always on my mind. “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“We have to move on.” Grace caressed his hand. “Let’s go, there’s a wedding to attend.”

They both stood up and walked towards the gallery. It was almost noon and a stream of guests was flowing in. !

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Soon after, the ceremony began. Glenn and Saskia sat down in front of the marriage officiant. Her father and one of her brothers were on the left side of the table, facing Bayu and Ezra who were acting as the two official witnesses. Grace and Saskia’s mother held a white, silk veil and clipped it on Glenn and Saskia’s heads. The two mothers then seated themselves behind the couple. Glenn and Saskia exchanged a brief look and smiled at each other. The crowd turned silent.

“Assalamualaikum,” the marriage officiant saluted. He was a lanky man in his fifties wearing gold-rimmed spectacles and a black velvet peci on his head, typical of civil servants. He shook hands with Glenn, maintaining a firm grip. He took the microphone with his left hand.

“Let’s begin,” he said.

The officiant glanced at Saskia then looked Glenn in the eyes. He asked, “Do you, Glenn Erlangga Sudiro bin Bayu Sudiro, take this woman, Saskia Andara Risjad

binti Firman Risjad, as your lawful wedded wife with dowries in the form of a prayer dress paid in cash?”

Glenn took a deep breath. Just say the names correctly and don’t mess up the

order. He had been practising for almost a year now, but he was still nervous when the time finally came for him to profess this wedding vow. You can do this, Glenn. He cleared his throat and took the microphone in front of him.

He declared, “I, Glenn Erlangga Sudiro bin Bayu Sudiro, take her, Saskia Andara Risjad binti Firman Risjad, as my lawful wedded wife.” He took another deep breath. Then he continued, “With dowries in the form of a prayer dress paid in cash.”

The marriage officiant looked at the guests. He raised his voice, “SAH ?”

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The guests replied in a long, loud, choir-like manner. “SAAAH!” The marriage officiant gave Glenn and Saskia a friendly look. He said, “Now, you may exchange rings.”

Glenn reached for the little red velvet box near the right hand corner of the table. He moved the box to the middle of the table, opened it, drew out one gold ring and turned to his left. He took her left hand as he gazed at her tenderly. Now you’re no

longer an option, but a decision.

He said, “Saskia, I could throw out so many clichés like a Hallmark card just to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. But let me just put it to you simply, you complete me.” He slipped the ring onto her finger. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Indonesian for lawful or valid.

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Saskia pulled the other ring from the box and took his left hand. She looked him in the eye, “Glenn, you fell for me, despite my thinking that it was impossible.” She put the ring on his finger and as the crowd cheered, she could not hold back her tears of joy. “You make me very happy.”

Glenn drew Saskia closer and held her.

It was a beautiful, solemn ceremony fuelled with love and both Bayu and Grace were glad they got to share in their son’s joy. In spite of the lingering bittersweet closure between them, Bayu was pleased that he at least had had the chance to apologise. He did not know what the future would be for the two of them but he wished things would work out. He wanted Grace to live life for a reason, not just to pass the time like when they were together. He hoped someday they would have another event to celebrate together, like Glenn and Saskia’s first baby or Ezra’s wedding (the latter might take a while).

More than anything, Grace was grateful she ended the marriage with Bayu on good terms. She had lost a husband; she could not afford to lose an old friend too. For what it’s worth, she regretted neither their relationship nor their marriage. After all, at that one point, thirty-one years ago, being married was exactly what she wanted.

Both Ezra and Namira did not know if they would be in Glenn and Saskia’s position someday. Regardless, though they knew they might not always end up where they thought they were going, they could at least make sure the journey would be pleasurable. And to Namira now, that alone was all right. As for Ezra, having almost lost a best friend was enough to make him realise that he, too, did not want to be alone forever.

Saskia followed Glenn as they walked around the garden and the gallery greeting guests. She liked the tingling sensation she got when her hand touched the ring on his finger. She still found it incredible how they managed to get this far, that she got

this far. Fate does supply a mate.

Glenn asked Saskia to stand in front of the stage where the jazz band was playing. Then he went up, told the band to stop playing, grabbed the microphone, and sat at the piano.

“I have another surprise for my new wife,” he said, looking in her direction. He started playing.

Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth in surprise. Saskia knew what song it was, right from the very first note. Oh my God, Glenn! !

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“It had to be you,” Glenn began singing. “It had to be you, I wandered around

and finally found the somebody who, could make me be true, could make me be blue…” The band joined him at the second verse and he stood up when he reached the chorus.

Saskia went up on the stage, embraced him and kissed his cheek as he sang.

Glenn was overjoyed that his happy plot had ended in a marriage knot but most importantly, he was endlessly grateful to see her looking at him so radiantly. I hope I

can always make her smile like this.

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