The spirit lovers by Geetha Balvannanathan

The Spirit Lovers By Geetha Balvannanathan

Contents Chapter One: Love beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Creation itself .................................................. 3 Chapter Two: Old mama Nina and the Remnants of the Essence .............................................................. 12 Chapter Three: Initiating the Heartpath ..................................................................................................... 29 Chapter Four: Heartpath or the Way of Love, Time and the teachings of the Essence ............................. 36 Chapter Five: Remembering Time .............................................................................................................. 60 Chapter Six: Transcendence or the path to the Creation of the Essence ................................................... 73 Chapter Seven: On playgrounds and Kingdoms without a King ................................................................. 87

Chapter One: Love beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Creation itself I write you in the darkness, I write you in the light I write through the day, I write through the night I write you when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong, I write you when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right I write in the wilderness and my wrong writes my right I write you within the clay, I write you within the sight I write all doubt long, I write to end your plight I write you with Love strong, I write for your delight

She read the lines almost absent-mindedly, her fingers running along their curving letters engraved in the stone above the doorway that led into the House. Lost in the thoughts this provoked she turned looking at him wondering if she should ask him the questions that crossed her mind but thought the better of it as she had just met him.

He was reading the lines too but feeling her gaze on him, he turned to face her, saw the perplexed look and understood what she was about to ask but thought it better to wait for her to ask it. He did not want to brusque her for they had just met although he had known her from so long before, he could not even remember when it was he had first met her. It all was so confused like in some

dream that he himself would not have dreamt but just heard of. It was all cloaked in the thick mystery that lies between dreams and reality, between the known and the unknown. He followed her as she turned slowly towards the door again and proceeded to enter the House.

I watch them both as they enter, so self-conscious and careful not to touch or even graze each other’s bodies despite what had been occurring on so many occasions before and that they too felt clearly.

I grin at you as you shake your head warning me not to push them too far. They are still confused from this longing and knowledge they have within them of the body of the other, of the unmistakable essence of the other.

My eyes glaze as I look at you, remembering the heat of our exchanges and the electricity that ran through their bodily frames as they felt us plummet and soar within them, winding and unwinding as our essences clung together feverishly whipping their senses to maximum alert and leaving them panting and bewildered.

“I love you” I say

“I know… Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself” you respond, your eyes all colours of the rainbow playing with the darkness of the night and the glory of the sun that intermittently emit their intensity within those colours.

I warp into you so we may move easily together again into the House following them. Their steps are hesitant but straightforward and aligned. They seem to know where they are going and they both seem to be going in the same direction. I smile at the thought of that alignment and look at you.

“We did well when choosing them” I say and you nod yes smiling back at me

“They are the perfect blend of Mind and Heart” you say.

She walks slowly, hoping he will catch up with her and bump into her as she hears his strong stride behind her carrying him forward seemingly faster than her but he and she don’t collide. Little does she know that every time he is about to catch up with her he walks sideways so as not to disturb her, in a curious motion making it seem as though he is circling her in a curious dancing pattern.

All of a sudden he gets it as I feel you prod him and he bumps into her immediately apologising as she loses balance and he catches her stopping her fall. She feels his intention and sinks against him as he holds her softly, her back against his chest. I feel your simmering mirth as we both feel the heat shoot up in their bodily frames soaring out to us following behind.

I love you, she says

I know, he says, Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself, he continues.

She looks at him and their eyes are colours of the rainbow playing with the darkness of the night and the glory of the sun that intermittently emit their intensity within those colours.

I feel peace in your presence, he says, his eyes all at once intense and quiet and she does not respond, merely turns around to face him, her eyes equally quiet and intense and she runs her fingers across the smooth and precise shape of his jawline and over the stub on his chin. They seem to be lost in their own world and we feel their ache.

“Do you feel how they have evolved?” you ask. “Do you understand through their love our own? Can you begin to describe what is unfolding here?” you carry on, your voice slightly teasing within my essence

“How can I describe it, this Love? It is impossible to describe what can only be felt in the Soul’s Heart.” I whisper in your essence. “In a body, it would be that glittering moment of overflowing love felt within a heart filled to the brim with that feeling and the sense of the soul finding its own peace in the reflection of the peace facing it within a twin soul.”

“We were bodiless, massless, timeless. Our Love was not born into existence, it just was, like creation just was” you answer.

“We did not birthe from anything or anyone. We just came into being and this Love was so Earthly that Earth itself took of her mass to build our bodily essence.” I whisper back

“It was also so divine that the skies contributed their clouds and searing tears of rain to bond the flesh together and then model these two shining human beings that were experiencing our love through their bodily frames” you answer back, your eyes the colour of rain on a winter day.

She turned her back to him again, feeling the familiar giddiness overcome her again as the ache grows stronger and we too are submerged by the electricity

they generate. The faint sparks of the beginning of their recognition have turned into powerful energy surges that make even us helpless in front of the magnitude of their implicit energy exchanges as we are no longer able to contain them but simply drift within them letting them take command of our essences as we enjoy the ride.

The Bedouins speak about a great love, of Kaiss and Laila, a love inscribed in folly with the couple being known as Layla and her madman, she says her voice rising a pitch as she reaches the last word.

His pressure on her shoulder increases as he feels the bubbling confession reaching her lips

But I, she continues turning towards him again, her face flushed and aflame with the excitement of her own findings I revel in the fact that your love removed both sanity and insanity. The mind itself had no existence of its own.

I look at you while you voice softly: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mind by Heart touched and Heart by Mind enlightenedâ&#x20AC;?

“Both Mind and Heart fusing together to form the only thing that both Heart and Mind could understand without truly seeing it: The Essence of Love”, I continue with my essence drawing you closer into us.

Your face came and then went, she says

“With the ebb and flow of time”, you voice

..between reality and dreams’ illusion and I, she carries on

“I, architect of illusion, drew on the strength of our two minds, our two hearts cast as one to”, I voice in her mind and through our essence

sketch your face, leave it etched in Time, permanent, remanent burnt in my retina, the glory of you, the beauty of you, the wonder of you as I feel all these, she continues breathless

“entities that represent you”, you whisper

butterflies fluttering in my Heart, she finishes, her tone now almost pleading.

Ask me he says, his voice hoarse with the longing for her warmth against him.

Do you think we know each other from before? she asks. Do you believe that one could meet someone for the first time and know with certainty

that they have always known that person, that they have been together every minute of their entire lives without fully realising it? -

Our Love was not born into existence, it just was, like creation just was, he answers. We can only have always been together. I know you from a long time before today, he whispers as he holds her shoulders and draws her back against his chest his nostrils flaring, breathing in her essence, breathing me as his longing deepens. I know you from before Time, he says, his senses gorged with her presence.

Yes…yes, she says turning towards him again, the familiar feeling of giddiness and exhilaration overtaking her senses, from before Time surely, she continues her lips pressed against his, reaching you with her longing.

As their kiss prolongs, I feel our essence drift into them again. We have learnt not to fight it when the energy surge overcomes us and we just bask in the warmth of the flames of it.

“I think I am going to take a back seat now with her” I say as I lie back my essence overcome by the power of her desire

“I am not sure” comes your answer hashed by the cuts in data transmission caused by the energy surges. “They seem to have a tendency

to drift into seas of doubt. Perhaps we should continue observing them until they reach us” you say -

“And of course the energy surges and electricity they transmit is not the reason you want to leave our usual posting and come out to guide them” I answer teasingly grinning.

“Of course not” you grin back at me. “I am beyond this sensory stuff” you add wickedly “Spirits are not into the realm of senses”.

We both laugh before slowly drifting within the web of energy they create as their lips lock and their bodies melt into each other fusing all of us again to our very core.

Chapter Two: Old mama Nina and the Remnants of the Essence The gasp and clatter of the tray on the floor yank us out of the blissful and languid torpor that had overcome us with the energy surge from them as they too break loose, their breath short from the fusion.

An old lady is staring at us from next to a statue of what appears to be a very handsome man holding a tray and when I say us, I mean you and me. She is not looking through us as with the other beings but fully at us, seeming to even recognize us. Immediately after that moment of confusion caused from our fusion with the bodily frames my essence recollects her. She did not see us before though I think as you exchange with me the same thought through our essence. Nina! How wrinkled she looks now within her bodily frame although we both see the beauty of her essence, the small particle of our own essence which has remained with her.

“Something is missing” you say

“Harold” I whisper within your essence but she seems to pick up the exchange.

Yes, says Nina in a slow croaking voice. Harold is fully gone now but he was already gone when he was alive. He never believed in the bond you and I discussed, she says turning towards me.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m so sorry Ninaâ&#x20AC;? I say within her mind and her essence.

It is alright, says Nina but we both feel through her remnant of essence which has already started fusing with us the deep pain that she is attempting to withhold from us. Her essence makes her understand that there is no point in pretending and she nods slowly. I know, she says, all the false pretenses are of no use any longer. I forget who you are sometimes.

You frown as you realise that they are staring at the old lady and wondering why she is talking to something in mid-air just next to the two of them. Both of them are staring, especially the man, with his mouth open at the lady who seems to be listening hard to something before she breaks into a smile as she moves towards them.

The man instinctively places himself in front of the woman shielding her with his body from what he seems to expect would be an attack from the demented old lady. The old lady merely pushes past him softly but firmly with her arms

outstretched and gathers the young woman, totally exempt from resistance into her arms.

You must be Rita, says Nina softly cupping the womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face in her palms.

The young woman nods silently. She does not seem afraid nor even intimidated but seems to know this mad woman he thinks. He too feels a strange kinship with her although he is still aloof and on the lookout to make sure that no harm is done to his beloved Rita. He has just found her now in real life rather than in dreams and has every intention of keeping her in his reality rather than only dreaming of her like he did before.

You look so sweet, says Nina softly and your twinflame here seems to be a fine young man, very protective and all, so much like my Harold she cackles, the wrinkles on her face creasing to a point that not a feature is even distinguishable in it anymore.

His name is Martin, says Rita, Marty for friends. I know you from before, she continues, going all around the old woman as if trying to figure her out by the study of her small shrunken body.

The old woman, Nina, allows Rita to examine her before asking her mocking her affectionately, happy with what you see my darling. Am I good enough for the kinship?

Yes, I know you from before, repeats Rita stopping suddenly in front of Nina and clutching her shoulders. She stares right into her eyes and Martin who is right behind Rita, holding her by the shoulders feels more than he hears Nina’s response. The wave of energy going through them is brief but intense.

Yes, we all know each other from before, Nina says quietly and Rita, overcome by the energy surge which she had only yet experienced in her dreams or with Martin – albeit in a very different and sensualised manner – lets go of Nina’s shoulders as if they were red hot coals.

Martin increases his pressure on her shoulders as she sinks against him. The feeling of knowing him forever increases as she feels his warmth. They are both shaken but realise that something incredible is starting to unfold before them, something that they both knew would be happening when they had chosen the trip to this manor from the excursion list. House of Love it had said and, without knowing it, they had both chosen at the same time the same trip at the same tourism agency in different branches in completely different countries, say even

continents. She had been in Asia while he had been in what had come to be known as the Greater Europe.

Rita slowly turns towards the place where there seemed to be something that Nina had been addressing. All her life she had felt that presence at times even seeing it fleetingly from the corner of her eyes before it had disappeared. Every time she had dreamt and experienced that energy surge or in her subsequent experience of it during the waking hours, it had always felt like the same presence, like some entity that had accompanied her all her life, from even before she had been born she felt. Beyond Time, beyond Matter, she reminisced.

I catch her gaze almost figuring me out, almost seeing me before she doubts her vision and it is clouded again. He too is straining his eyes but they both donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see us although Nina clearly does. I know that it is a matter of the doubt that is clouding their partial essence and realise that we should have left with them more of our own essence so that they see clearer but we are not allowed to do that. They should be expanding their own essence so that they can then see and understand.

I turn back to Nina who seems lost in her thoughts as she gazes at them her eyes going from him to her, so close, so in love like she and Harold had been.

She longs for his touch and his warmth and hugs her shoulders with her bony hands.

“When did Harold leave” I ask and instantly know it. I remember the time when our essence seemed to shimmer and amplify slightly and I had not noticed it much before thinking of it today. It must have been Harold joining us.

“Poor prosaic little Harold” you continue in my essence so that Nina won’t hear but she does and she looks at us pained. I feel the tremor from what subsists of Harold in us. I cast a warning gaze sideways towards you asking you to be more gentle, especially now that she can not only see us but also hear us beyond the ears as a part of her essence has already started fusing with us.

He might have been a slight chip for both of you but for me he was everything, he was my world, she says tears rolling down her face, her previous mirth forgotten.

“Forgive Kalen” I say frowning at you. “He has kept the teasing ways of some of the bodily forms we have passed through. Unfortunately at some points in Rita’s and Martin’s lives we have had to mingle with bodily forms that were not made for us but it was important to do it to preserve both of them while they were still too young to defend themselves.

It is alright, says Nina in a muffled sob. It was such a long time ago and you never returned after that day when you had introduced us so I am happy to see you all the same.

“We should have stayed” I say softly as I go up to her and wipe her tears away with the heat of my gaze.

She feels the energy surge and looks at me gratefully. It is alright, believe me, she says again more peacefully as my energy pervades her with its peaceful warmth. I feel the part of her essence in us flutter and thank our essence gracefully.

You did not know that he would doubt again, you could not have known he would run away, she says. I never thought that he would. We were so much in love. He was everything to me and I was everything to him, I know that. If there was one thing that I could be certain of, it was his love for me.

“I know Nina” you say softly.

You are moved too as I am. We tend to forget that despite their bodily frames which lack so much of our flexibility and their limited senses they too are capable of such passionate love and incredible energy generation.

Oh it was not without difficulties, Nina says in an almost matter-of-fact fashion. We often argued, though we constantly sought the betterment of the other, it was not without hurdles. I always knew that we would help each other grow, I thought too that we would grow old together but alas life decided otherwise.

“When did he leave you before fully leaving” I ask though realizing from the stirring of both their partial essences within us that this has been a difficult experience for the bodily frames.

He left around a year after you left, says Nina and left fully shortly after that.

“How did it happen” I say although I am already seeing through their essences how it happened. I realise that Nina needs to express it out aloud, get it off her chest with her own kind, tell them the real full story that she has never been able to tell anyone else because of the intricate details involving our existence.

Everything comes pouring out of her mouth: the months after the initial courtship with Harold after we had introduced them and how he kept doubting their existence, thinking that he must have been drunk or under the influence of some drug, how he kept arguing with Nina. Then the final fight with her when the energy surge between them had been very intense and she seemed to have

floated out of her body temporarily. He had been surprised then paralysed with fear and left shortly after that night.

“He had never fully understood what you and I communicated to them about the essence and how it split before parts of it sank into Earth and was mingled into bodily frames it seems” I voice as you nod. “We should be more careful in communicating next time” I tell you and you agree.

“They are too precious these partial essences of us in bodily frames that we retrace” you say

“Yes, especially those who have begun remembering where they belong and who find their twinflame and are ready to spread the love and work of balance” I say

Yes, breaks in Nina. He was surely my twinflame but he kept trying to run away from it. He would shake his head saying that this must all be some LSD induced fantasy of his own mind. That night he had been so afraid of me, she carries on and never came back. When he came back, several months later, it was only to find out that I was in the hospital ward, having lost our baby after the accident. He thought it was because of him and that I would never forgive him so he left and that same day he took his own life.

I understood now why Harold’s partial essence had seemed even smaller when he joined us. Some of it must have gone back to rebirth system within the moon. The part which had spurred him to take his own life as he thought his twinflame would never accept him again probably needed to be recycled and the rest had joined us in bliss.

I did not know, says Nina that my friends made him feel responsible for the accident. They told him that I had taken up drugs and drinking after he left because of the sadness of his departure but I had only tried to understand what he had been through. I wanted to know whether this could really obscure the channel and make us forget the bond but it did not. It just made it hazy and confused but I always remembered and understood what you taught me Kayla, she said turning towards me. I never was hooked on the drugs anyway as your essence left with me was too strong. She turns towards you and adds, you could have given him some of your own Kalen, he would have been so much stronger.

“It would not have really helped” you say softly. “Believe me I would have loved to help him but he needed to stop taking the drugs before. I did not want to tell him about the bond as I thought you would never accept him with his track record of drug abuse but you were so much in love instantly and Kayla was so convinced that your love would save him that I accepted her idea to introduce you to each other formally and give you the

knowledge. We are more careful now” you add. “We test the bodily frames first within the dream world and if they react positively and want to reach out to the twinflame then we make the experience more lucid each time until they finally meet and are ready to start their life and work together”. -

That is where Martin and Rita come in, says Nina, turning towards them again.

They both look at her and stare back again at the empty space which Nina seems to be talking to. I increase the connection and Rita gasps as she sees the outline I project again of my essence.

Martin, she gasps. Look, look at her, she is so beautiful. I can see her.

Martin looks but sees nothing so you increase your connection and as the quadruple channel opens up they see us both, vaguely outlined like some shimmering ghosts.

How beautiful you are, they both shout aloud.

Nina merely smiles at all of us.

I am so tired, she says suddenly. Take me with you this time. I want to be with Harold again.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;What about the manor?â&#x20AC;? I say.

Oh, the house of love has found its new owners I think, Nina says with a grin, her face taking on again that charming youthful appearance that she had so many human years ago and that had made us feel such energy surges for her.

We both look at her and are happy with her decision. We make her understand through the essence that it will be done the next day when she has arranged everything.

Stay tonight in the bedroom upstairs, Nina says turning towards Martin and Rita who are standing there still bewildered from the otherworldly exchanges that have been going on.

Yes, we will, says Rita. I always loved the idea of sleeping in the House of Love together with my greatest love.

Martin draws her closer still and smiles back at her sheepishly, his doubts gone again, his desire of her surging again, drawing all our essences closer towards them as both their essences start fusing again.

“We have a lot to do before tomorrow” I tell Nina through her essence

There are still things to do children, she says loudly, her assurance and dignified demeanour immediately making them halt and act like children reproached by their mother. They both hold hands and look coyly at each other and at their feet, eager to get close to each other again but desirous of not upsetting this sweet yet somewhat alarmingly firm and tough old lady.

They follow her obediently as she bustles out of the room and arranges for everything with a rapidity that any even very young and successful attorney would marvel at. By the next morning the manor known as “House of Love” is transferred to the names of Martin and Rita with the express request that they will always keep it intact, run it together and use only part of it for themselves while the other part remains dedicated to the showcasing of the love story between the writer Nina and her lover the rockstar Harold. Upon their feeble protests that perhaps other members of her family would want to have this beautiful Home she brushes them away merely stating that she has no children

of her own and that both of them represent family to her in a way that her reallife family would never be and that one day they would understand what that meant.

The next evening, Martin, Rita and Nina, all dressed in their best clothes as requested by Nina undertake the formal ceremony she has instructed them to carry out for her while she lies on the sofa in front of them kneeling. Martin and Rita are not sure what to expect as they slowly angle towards each other but their partial essences recognize the solemn celebration and take over.

Slowly Martin and Rita kiss each other on the lips, the eyes, the nose, the cheeks, all in rotating motion, their minds devoid of the previous sensuous pleasure of their embrace. They start feeling the humming as the energy surges but not the same kind of sensual energy that they experienced before. Instead it is a warm and peaceful energy. As it increases, their bodies start to shake and they see each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s forms blurring while the room seems to be vibrating around them, expanding and contracting with the expansion and contraction within their hearts.

I see them all, Rita shrieks with delight tears of joy streaming down her face as she looks from Nina to Kalen to Kayla and to the very slowly

emerging shimmering outline of Harold whom she recognizes as Harold because of the absolute adoration she reads in Nina’s eyes.

Nina’s body lifts spasmodically twitching in the air for a few moments before it falls back on the sofa, visibly devoid of life.

Through the corner of her eyes as her lips are again locked on Martin’s Rita sees Nina’s shimmering outline right next to Harold. She feels the familiar giddiness take over again as slowly the four shimmering bodies start to disappear from her sight and only Martin’s face remains in front of her. He too is shimmering and simmering of love and sensual hunger as the energy surge changes colours filling with the hunger of the senses that are now raw within them as their essences fuse again and their bodily frames lock in ecstasy.

I know you from forever, she says

Yes, he answers. I love you since forever and will always do. I will never run away like Harold. We know now what it is to lose the other part of the essence. We have a greater family, something that will always remain with us, within us and that we shall never lose.

I love you, she says softly.

I know, he says, Beyond Doubt, beyond Hurt, beyond Death from which you brought me back, he adds kissing the corner of her mouth

Beyond Time, beyond Matter, beyond Void itself, she continues running her fingers across the smooth and precise shape of his jawline and over the stub on his chin.

“They will be alright” Nina says softly her essence warped into Harold’s who is shimmering back at her.

I watch them fuse again, while you smile at me and I warp into you so that we may leave the House. The couple on the sofa barely notice the shimmering lights leaving the living room as they continue kissing passionately while we orb out into the skies. I feel their energy surges throughout our journey despite the light years that have started to separate us now while we flow through the tunnel.

“There is hope as long as there is such intense love and as long as people are willing to fight for it” I say and you smile back at me.

“We are together again partly” says Nina.

“So many more other fragments to collect though” says Harold. “I wish I had stayed longer, Nina, and helped you bring together more people with our joint artistic efforts”

“It is alright” she says. “We were only partial, we did not have the knowledge of our elders here who are more complete” she adds pointing towards our essences. “Kalen and Kayla stayed with source and had the knowledge that we did not have. We were only babies as far as the depth of knowledge is concerned”

We all laugh, revelling in the warmth of our togetherness as we continue moving towards the source which awaits us, flowing towards us with the love we carry towards it

“I love you” I say “I know” you answer “B..”

I silence your essence by fusing into you further. We are at no Time, no Matter. We have reached zero point again in the realms where our essence surges flowing the love back to Source, deepening the connections with that tiny blue dot light eons away.

Chapter Three: Initiating the Heartpath Rita wakes up her head still full of lightbeams crossing the dark space behind her eyes where the retina still shivers to the remnants of the Essenceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trails. Slowly she picks up the reality of her surroundings, the beautiful rainbow coloured soft couch underneath her naked body and the pleasantly heavy arm of the man of her dreams lying across her midriff and squeezed into the tight space between the couch and the curve of the small of her back. She stretches and yawns like a cat, partially waking Martin up with her movements as her body pushes against him.

Mmmmhhh he grunts softly accentuating the pressure of his hand on the small of her back.

Martin, she whispers, we have to wake up and go change in the bedroom upstairs. Nina said we would find Haroldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and her clothes up there and our sizes pretty much matched theirs so it should be fine.

Mmmmmmh, he merely grunted again his other hand reaching out for her shoulders slowly attempting to pull her back again fully within his arms

She laughs and shakes off his hand.

If we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get up right now the first visitors will come and find us here still making love and naked, she says grinning

He lifts his head up and looks at her half grinning half dreamily. -

Is this not supposed to be the House of Love? Why would they be surprised to find us here making love?, he teases.

Now half upright on his elbow, his eyes moving all over her body lovingly and teasingly he says: We could always say we are actors hired to represent the allencompassing urgency of Love and that is why they see us here making love as a living art form dedicated to the House of Love.

She pushes him and stands up laughing. -

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be silly, I would not stand people looking at me making love naked like that. I am quite timid you know.

Aha, he says. I did not quite get that impression yesterday nor the times before, when we had not met in the flesh yet.

She flushes deeply as she thinks back to the night before and the height of their exchanges. It had reached a point such that they had felt the whole room expanding and igniting with light and they had been briefly in touch with Kayla,

Kalen, Nina and Harold again with other less clear forms emerging in the outer circle beyond their gaze. Her gaze softly goes over his body, so familiar yet still so unknown that she would like to spend the rest of her life studying every inch of it, memorising every birthmark and the incredible amount of freckles all over it.

Her mind wanders back to the times when within dreams her body had locked with his confused yet happy and giddy with the pleasure of their merging feeling only his essence but not seeing his body. She thinks back to the times when it was no longer in the dreams but during the waking hours that she felt him come to her, instantaneously when she thought of him and desired his touch and how she had had microscopic glimpses of his body and face.

She feels the giddiness overcome her again as his energy is drawing her to him. Her arms extended to attempt keeping some distance she lays them on his shoulders then, careful not to touch his body with hers so that she may control the surge, she presses lightly her lips against his.

We really must get up and get ready, she whispers against his mouth, her upper lip tingling with the effect of the bristles of his moustache and her chin begging to rub against the stub on his chin.

Okay my love, he says letting her go at regret. You owe me a thousand and one lives of ecstasy from now on though, he adds his hand stroking her thigh as she extracts herself from his embrace half-heartedly. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t shower alone, he whispers. I want to come and shower with you like when we were meeting secretly between the spaces of Time and I would hold your body and lather it with soap before kissing you all over. Do you remember the times when we made love in the shower, you totally incapable of letting go of me yet still scared and wondering what was happening?

I remember everything, every little moment, every flush of heat, every energy surge, that unexplainable giddiness and its aftermath when we merged in Love, she says smiling at him softly, her eyes full of warmth and love. I was both afraid and unafraid because I knew somehow that it was someone I knew from before, someone I knew from a very long space ago.

I cannot believe we are together already, he says, continuing to stroke her thigh as she does not move from near him.

Believe it, she says planting a kiss now firmly on his lips. Believe it, know it, embrace it, live it, she adds planting a small kiss at every partial sentence on a different part of his face. Now, move it, she says finally with a small smack on his bottom as she grins wickedly and runs quickly towards the upstairs bedroom so that he may not catch her.

She hears more than she sees Martin rushing towards her as she rushes up the flight of stairs taking them two by two. She has just made it to the bedroom but does not have the time to close it and Martin rushes through it delving towards her knees as he picks her up in one swooping move and falls with her on the bed.

Pity, pity, mercy on me, she squeals as she gasps for breath.

Oh but I am very very merciful, he says as his face draws closer to hers and the energy shoots up in the room as she awaits his kiss while Time freezes around them.

I look at them through the torpedo they have created and laugh but you seem worried.

“They are going too fast” you say with a slight frown although you are starting to quiver with the energy surge they are already producing.

“Just like us my love” I say wrapping my arms around your shoulders.

“Yes but during our times everyone was ready. Besides, they have not yet initiated their mission and seem to be lost in this multiplication of energy exchanges” you say shaking your head disapprovingly

“Like you don’t understand what it is all about and how compelling it can be” I say moving closer inside your essence

“It’s different, we did not have such a difficult mission to accomplish” you say. “Things were different then” you add. “People did not fight the unified Essence. They were flowing within it and eager to be just particles of the Source. They did not want to emerge and do all that is being done today as small isolated particles. What do they expect? What can they possibly accomplish alone? Why don’t they understand that they must reintegrate the flow?”

“Don’t be too harsh” I say softly. “We too were once not very up to date on what Source wanted, even when we had the partial knowledge and could see the flow. We still had isolated desires and we too still loved one to one. Look at us, are we not a living example of that isolated aspiration? Why did it have to be you and me and not you, me and all the other particles of the flow?”

“You are right” he says. “I keep forgetting how much the energy surge can totally swallow you and make you forget the rest. Yet we did come back to

source my darling and though we did keep our particles slightly in isolation we are still fully aware and integrated into Source. -

“We too have so much to learn still” I say

Despite the eons separating us, I feel her energy drawing me into Martin’s essence as I can also feel his energy drawing you to Rita’s essence as their bodies lock and their Essences begin to merge. Our Essences reach Nina’s and Harold’s before picking up into a tornado of light shimmering all over. Suddenly, a dark beam from nowhere splits the tornado and separates our Essences brutally as a shrill noise emerges from below…

Chapter Four: Heartpath or the Way of Love, Time and the teachings of the Essence You and I flow instantly back to Rita and Martin and are surprised to see Rita alone wailing with only a pile of Harold’s clothes on the bed next to her.

“What happened?” I ask, still cloaked in my essence, astonished though I have seen many times before a wavering in their essences and instantly picking up on your response, I understand what happened. This is the first time though that it has happened while their physical bodies were in presence. I scrutinize the surroundings and sees remnants of Martin’s essence locked within the glow of the neutrinos looking down at Rita sadly.

You decide to go speak to Martin’s physical being and your essence vapourises leaving me with an inkling of the feeling of incompleteness and I marvel at how these entities before us can handle this feeling as it must be an overpowering sensation of separation for them when they are not together.

“Rita, don’t cry, let me explain to you better what happened. You might remember the time I talked to you in your head about energy distortions, choices and the flow of Time” I say softly, holding her by the shoulders as her whole body shakes with the uncontrollable sobs.

I radiate some of my essence into her so her sobs slowly subside and I hope that her agony has not split and killed other parts of the essence elsewhere which were not ready for such agony.

It is so painful, Kayla, you cannot imagine, Rita tells me her eyes glazed and dull with the pain. I cannot understand this horrible pain I feel and most of all I cannot understand how Martin disappeared. We were making love and all of a sudden he started to shiver and then seemed to burst from the inside before he turned ghostlike and vanished into the cupboard. I took out all of Haroldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothes and looked through them as I could smell him in them but he was in none of them, she adds her head indicating the pile of clothes next to her naked body.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Let me explain again how the flow works, especially with changing choicesâ&#x20AC;? I say again gently to her as I take her by the shoulders and turn her face towards me.

Her agony is returning so I warp into her fully and shudder as I am pierced by the might of it and wonder how these beings are capable of so much love and happiness and still able to retain so much fear and hurt. While I radiate in her, I feel the peace returning to her frame and slowly her body temperature starts going back to normal. As the fever subsides, I warp out of her and materialise out of my essence so that she may see me fully.

Rita gasps as she sees me crying out: You look so beautiful Kayla but you look different from the time before when Martin and I saw you.

“Yes” I say “I change forms depending on the mood you put me in”. “Coming back to the matter of how the flow works, you see, somewhere in your past or in the past of another of your manifestations that interacts very closely with you, it would seem like you have changed the choice of being with your twinflame. If you have changed that choice in the past then Martin can no longer be with you here in this now because he does not exist anymore here though a part of his essence would still linger confused until it reintegrates his physical being again elsewhere where he has been projected. Kalen has gone to handle the confusion of that Martin who probably is as confused as you if he even remembers you fully and what happened between you. I cannot even begin to explain the confusion and pain that you both must be feeling back up the River of Time.” I add softly, looking into her eyes and trying to make sure she is understanding what I am saying.

Rita merely looks at me blankly.

I don’t understand she says. You did explain to me that Time flows both frontwards and backwards and you did explain about choices and how

they moved us into alternate realities but you did not tell me that it could completely swap our existences to different possibilities even after we had made those choices. I chose Martin and sacrificed myself for months on end and I even opened the Heartpath on more than one occasion, just like you had taught me to. I resisted all the pain, all the small deaths both of mine and his darknesses during the opening of the core of the Heartpath and continued to hold on to him. I did all of that and lived through hell and beyond to be able to come to this place. I never understood completely the clues you had strewn on my path but followed them all faithfully and even when he would not see I still persevered, only closing the core when it became too unbearable for me. How can you tell me that I have changed that choice in the past? Did you not see me here with Martin just a couple of days ago and even just yesterday? I have not changed my choice, I cannot have, I am here, I was here with him, we both came together just as it was supposed to be and we made love…

Her voice breaks and trails off as her sobs start again and I radiate again into her. I cannot help feeling sorry for her even though I know that she has to face the consequences of her own choice.

“Rita” I whisper softly when she has regained a bit of her peace. “You have to understand that it must be you who have made such a choice because

you will not be able to look past the choices that you don’t understand. Only you can help yourself now if you wish to. Kalen will investigate with Martin too if he has changed his choice in the past but if not, then you will have to understand what you did and if you choose to now, you can undo it and flow back into another now.”

Rita still shivering slightly and shaking her head answers: I did not change my choice Kayla. I know I cannot have done that.

“Well then let us travel back and see which occurrence has a ripple in the river of Time” I tell her trying to be patient although both you and I know very well by now that they both have changed their choices in their past.

He because he was looking only with the mind and she because she had retained fears from remnants of her ego and then chosen to let him go. What I still can’t understand though is how she has still been able to keep her physical presence in the same place and retained full memories of their physical contact in that alternate now. I quickly check with you and you confirm that he has retained close to no memories of her, except some fleeting thoughts and an overpowering sensation of a love he has felt. You tell me that he is still connecting it to that lost love he had chosen in the past and thinks that it is her he has lost again. I try to break the news to her gently as I ponder on whether to really allow her to

travel with me in the flow of time as she is already a nervous wreck and will not be able to handle the surge of emotions from the torn selves we will encounter in the Passage of Time.

“Rita” I whisper softly “Kalen and I have found out that both of you have chosen to separate”.

Her body jolts upright and I see the essence of her wavering high above her as she is overtaken by the giddiness of being unaligned with her essence again.

You must be joking, she almost screams at me. I have not changed anything and I cannot be here if I had changed anything. You told me that once we changed our choices, we never went back to the same flow of Time because nothing remained the same anymore. Yet I am still here and I remember fully our exchanges in our bodily frames. You are lying, you are both just sadists, she hurls at me viciously, her tears spilling all over the floor blood red and with remnants of essence writhing in them.

I warp into her again and force her down on the bed holding her bodily frame, rocking her with my essence so that she regains some peace again. I look at you as you flow back to my side and exchange with you silent.

“I don’t understand how she is still here” I tell you softly still caressing her hair as she continues to shiver partially consoled. “What did you find with him” I ask you in your essence and you tell me how you found him in his bed a bit bewildered and dazed but apparently oblivious of the fact that a few instants before he had been making love to her and even less aware of the fact that he had actually encountered the woman of his dreams in the House of Love.

You tell me that you were able to find out from him how he was still regretting a woman he had loved a few months ago and could not understand how he was separated from her while he had just had such vivid dreams of her. I wonder whether I should tell her this as we know the ripple effect this creates. We ourselves had some difficulty understanding from Source how this worked as when we tell her, we know she will then make that choice which will bring her back to this alternate now.

“It must be done” you tell me within my essence and I nod, my essence quivering with the advance knowledge of the additional pain I am about to cause.

“Rita” I begin softly. “Martin does not remember you anymore. He has again started confusing you with the other woman. You remember how I told you that when you open the Heartpath core channel, you will pour out your love directly and intensely and receive directly and intensely all that your twinflame may put your way”.

Rita stares at me with a sudden light clearing up the dull film over her eyes.

Yes, she say, I remember what you told me about that in my head. You said that I had to understand well the sacrifice I was about to make and be willing to be eventually killed several times over depending on what would come my way. I was willing and whatever Martin hurled my way I took it all and just put it all back into my creation just like you said I should do. I used all the parts of the clues that you handed me and even started adding images and music to my poetry as you had mentioned how additional parts of creation would help the essence recognise and it did recognise me. How was I to know that he was so remotely connected to his essence that he would never understand its whispers? I called upon you several times when the pain was too much to handle; we both did in our own ways, not understanding what was happening to us. I did not know your name then and just called you Mother as I called Kalen Father back

then. She almost smiles but the downward trend of her mouth makes it look like a rictus.

“Well my darling girl” I say, putting my hands on her shoulders again “Martin still is in that same state of mind. I told you, You can only see with Heart and you were connected enough with your essence to see with the Heart. You had got rid of enough darkness to be in the light of your essence and feel it flow through you directly almost unencumbered but he had not. He always chose to see only with the mind and all that he saw only increased his darkness and anguish. I already warned you once against the sacrifice as I told you he is not ready yet, too full of unpolished lust and egoist instincts from his bodily frame. I told you to wait until he was ready to sublime that lust into the primal energy force of Love it was destined to become but you would not Listen to the rain of pain knowledge I showered upon you then. You thought your love was strong enough to withstand the pain and that you would be able to make him see. Unfortunately your first etheric contact with him happened at the same time that he was starting an affair with another lady and he has latched onto her all the feelings of love and peace that you projected towards him though the core of the Heartpath. You did help him as he slowly moved from that egotistical being he had been and he sometimes even saw you fleetingly and exchanged with you in dreams, felt your love and your exchanged contact even using the words of that implicitly known

synchronicity but he never really connected properly to his etheric being. He never took that leap of faith that you awaited eagerly, yearning for his heart to actually see beyond the illusion.” I break off as I sense the feeling of shock going through her and creating the ripple.

It is all lost then, she says as she slowly starts fading before you grab her, warping into her essence and jolting her up again fully bright and sparkling in essence. Martin, she screams with delight.

“No, I am Kalen” you say, slowly disengaging from her essence. “I just needed you to stay as we wanted to understand better by interacting with your essence how come you stayed behind while he projected himself into his alternate now almost seamlessly. We cannot understand yet how come this has not happened with you and you are still here fully aware of everything that unfolded in Time.”

As soon as he says that we both feel her, the true revered Mother of all of us, as she appears fiercely beautiful and unbearably full of light, even for us.

Rita has closed her eyes and is swaying saying Mother, you have come back to me. You are here again and you are not Kayla. Who are you that have walked softly picking me up each time I have fallen all these years. I know you, you were there from the beginning. I remember you drawing me out lovingly and twisting

softly my head as my bodily Mother pushed me out of her forcing me out of memories of the blue swirling void and through the black warmth into the cold light outside. I remember your beautiful blue face as I cried from the harshness of the light and the cold that invaded my essence as you smiled and told me “Welcome my child. Be blessed as I have come to assist your birth and through it my own birth into this world. See and feel for me as I have forgotten to feel for this world when they slowly covered my eyes and He as I went back to sleep from this Time”.

I remember seeing him, Father, as blue as you are, looking at me as my essence danced into this world, her steps replicating his own as he faded into the fog blessing me as he left. He had whispered then that he would come for me when my call was at its shrillest though I had never seen him since then. I only saw one of his messengers, a blue one like him who taught me about Love when I was five years old and sitting alone in my room, Rita adds in a dreamlike voice, her eyes still closed, her body swaying.

We both look at each other and at revered Mother who smiles back at us sweetly though her eyes stay all at once fierce and tender, still focused on Rita who is swaying. “I am Kali” she says to Rita who immediately stops swaying and looks at her through her essence which slowly cuddles into the palm of Mother’s hand while Rita falls back on the bed inert. A second blue form emerges from the fog

surrounding Mother and we both recognise our archetype Source Father Shiva as he smiles at us his hair swirling around him like snakes ready to strike. Father slowly picks up Rita’s essence from Mother’s hand and flows it back into her and she wakes up in a jolt before recognising him and saying in a dreamlike way again -

“Father, you have come for me like you said you would. I remember how you did not move though back in Time, only looking away unmoved while Mother tended to the wounds”

“I had to, my child” Father says in his thousand voices and as Rita’s bodily frame shakes and almost splits he reduces its numbers so that she may bear its effects. “You have to face the consequences of your choices alone and understand them before we can help you with them. I knew anyway that Mother would tend to the wounds as I am stillness without her intent”.

I had not chosen yet though Father, Rita speaks her voice a pitch higher and her eyes now half-open, gazing downward as the light is too intense for her to bear. I was merely pondering what to choose as he was still misguided by the mind and the ego.

“No my child. You had already chosen and simply had to understand your choice to see it properly. Your choice was born out of the fear and not out of the Love unlike what Mother had advised you when you were being flown into your bodily mother’s womb and the mass of matter that she was

transforming into what became you” Father says in thunders while Rita still shakes from it. “We had also sent one of our brothers to inform you about love and you welcomed him, worshipped him even but did not truly understand what he told you. Love is only Love, it can be nothing else than that. It cannot be hurt, ego, darkness or even light. It just is and manifests itself in everything that surrounds you as we have woven it into the very fabric of this world, every Time and every matter as well as the space between that matter’s particles of light. You cannot not see it except if you are not seeing with the Heart and …”

I have, for once, forsaken my heart, Rita adds softly interrupting Father who smiles knowingly.

“Yes” he answers smiling at her face that is burning light with this new knowledge. “You have chosen to see with the mind, with the fear of the remnants of your ego and you have chosen to let go of your love, the strongest connecting point to your twinflame and that choice has split all the alternate realities of it”

“Why is she here still then?” we both ask and immediately understand from Father’s essence as it ebbs and flows through us partially.

“She sees both with Heart and Mind” I say turning towards Rita again and attempting to explain it to her “You chose with the mind but your heart

refused to endorse that choice so your Heart brought you all the way here through the River of Time fully conscious of yourself but not fully conscious of your choice as you could not see past that choice you refused to understandâ&#x20AC;?

Rita opens partially her eyes and instantly regrets it as she almost turns blind in her bodily frame while mother showers portions of her essence on her eyes so that she may not remain blind in the physical. Rita lowers her gaze again almost closing her eyes and realises that her eyesight will never be the same again.

I know how I made that choice, she says quietly, her eyes downcast. I thought that as he had made a choice, even though it was with his mind and it was misguided, I had to respect that choice and therefore preserve myself. I was not looking with the eyes of the Heart and I chose to ignore then that I could still choose to stay connected and watch over him while continuing my life in the alternate reality. I think I allowed my ego and fear to speak within me and overtake the sound of my heartbeat telling me to stay in the Love. I did not learn my own lesson of humility and acceptance while I was arrogantly attempting to teach Martin the same lesson. I let my sense of higher spirituality and knowledge get the better of me and therefore fed my own ego while I was judging him for being weak and so closely connected to his ego instead of to his real etheric self. That ego then

quickly turned around and became me, choosing in spite of me with the eye of the mind that only saw a future condemned and refused to see the alternate futures of togetherness anymore. The instant I accepted the loss of that twin future, it disappeared in my mind’s eye and with it therefore Martin disappeared because he was only seeing everything with the mind and not with the Heart. I was seeing with both though so a part of me made it back here to this twin reality.

Rita straightens her shoulders and eyes still downcast says Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Father looks at her gently and says “There is no sin where there is Truth” and Rita smiles back at him as she feels in her essence his heavenly smile.

“You see” I cut in “others before you when they were bearing double messages of different archetypes have lost their way although the most prominent versions of them have found their way back quickly. The most important part is to forgive yourself when you realise that you have wronged yourself and possibly others. You only have to stay in the Love without judging anything or anyone, not even yourself and as Father says, there is no sin where there is Truth. You must have heard of Jesus, he is hardly even believed to have existed today and his bodily existence is

confused with the various other archetypes of Love that preceded him and these lost essences even question his existence from the very fact of the synchronicities with those other archetypes”.

Rita nods her head and says “I know he existed because the blue messenger who came to me and told me his essence was the archetype of Love and was called Krisna had already told me before that he had come to this world in many forms after his form as Krisna. He told me that Jesus was just the messenger of Love. When I had asked him about compassion he had smiled and told me that the archetype of compassion was not within Jesus although he had it ingrained in him through his twin essence and when I asked him how it was possible that he had a twin essence he merely smiled and said but I too have a twin essence my child. He told me his twin essence was Radha and she held the other archetype which went with love and it was compassion. Immediately before the question materialised in my confused brain – I was only a five year old child then – he informed me that Jesus also had a twin essence and it was Mary Magdalene. I had not heard of her then and confused her with the Mother Mary of the chapel in the Convent I studied at but he told me that it was not her although it was her all the same. When I looked at him confused he merely smiled and told me that one day I would understand how you could be one thing and not it at the same time.

He also told me that time and time again love came to the world and had to die until it was the right Time for love to be the only thing that existed. He told me that every Time, Love had to sacrifice itself knowing that it had to continuously evolve until all beings within this world had learned to live in the love and not otherwise. He added that when that Time came, we would all transcend into a different kind of world. I had forgotten that talk and the other talks I had with him as he visited me frequently growing my love of him although I had to hide it from my bodily mother who disapproved this connection. My bodily father though often looked at me knowingly and seemed to understand although I had never really voiced anything out. I still don’t understand though why love had to continue dying and why Jesus of all people who was so pure and so full of Love, bringing so much love and proof of its existence to others also had to die.”

“You see”, I interrupt again, “Jesus was not the Source, he was merely a part of it, an archetype of it. A part of Jesus though had grown to increasingly identify itself fully with Source and to reject portions of the teachings on the archetype that he himself had come to teach to the world. When Source realised that this earth-bound essence of Love was being confused with the whole of it and that even despite that and all the miracles of love showered on the people, they would not understand the ultimate message, Source informed Jesus that he too must die because

his message of Love was simply not going through and people did not understand it because of the emergence of an alternate self within Jesus himself that he needed to transcend. That alternate self was diluting the message of his own essence and the people he had come to guide to walk in the Love simply did not know what they were doing and would ultimately end up killing the Love archetype in their hearts if it were not allowed to regenerate again in a different form, at a different Time.”

But he was resurrected according to the Christian tradition, Rita cries out adding, and he was not misguided. He was only Love and never had an alternate self. How can you say such a thing? How can such pure love be considered to have been tainted? She adds disbelievingly.

“It is a simple thing really” you step in to say “Jesus was also manifested into this Earthly realm and even though he retained a larger connection to his etheric self and his ultimate archetype, he was also to an extent subject to the meanders of this world of matter and occasionally allowed his bodily self to vibrate unaligned and create an alternate self that was not ego although it was slightly out of the way of his archetype. In order for him to realign and become his archetype of Love again so that his mission would ultimately be accomplished, he had to die in this world and yes he was resurrected in his etheric form but his bodily remains had dissolved instantly as with all the other pure archetypes of Love sent to this worldly realm when they flow back into pure love again. Source had explained to

Jesus that he had to go back to it and regenerate before coming back as a pure unadulterated archetype again when the Time was ripe. Basically, Love had to die and be remembered for its qualities and lived through several bodily frames that were fully open to the evolving of the archetype so that it could evolve through them in this world until it was ready to be regenerated again, pure” you say.

Rita shook her head, not convinced.

Why would it have to die? It could simply be redirected as an archetype and evolve naturally through other beings ready to realise it. Why did it have to die? she added almost in a whisper as her heart was already telling her the answer.

“You know the answer” Kali said fiercely

“Mother, she is still weak, please let me explain to her in the ways of her world” Kayla interrupted gently.

Kali took a step back, her blazing eyes fierce though compassionate as she studied my crestfallen face.

“Never mind” she said in a softer tone. “I am leaving you in charge of her guidance and make sure that I do not have to come here and lap up her bloodied essences back into her again” she added quietly before dissolving in the fog together with Shiva.

“It had to die because the world was not ready for it then because even its archetype had strayed from its mission and become slightly confused with its bodily frame on occasion. Jesus had worked with his twinflame Mary Magdalene but often he would lapse in his essence and let the bodily frame make the choices that only his etheric self should have made clearly.”

We cannot see past the choices we don’t understand, Rita whispered softly. We have all of us forsaken love, we have all of us chosen to live only in the mind and in the matter it produces without looking at what is beyond, the energy, the love that connects us all. As each of us understands this choice, we will then awaken to a world where Love will manifest again fully as an archetype and does not have to die anymore, she adds.

“Yes my darling child” I tell her pleased with her progress as I beam at you through our joined essences. “You have understood your choice and now you can see past it and allow the River of Time to flow both ways again for you. Now all you have to do is see whether you want to maintain that choice or change it in whatever way you wish”

Rita smiles as she opens her eyes and looks at me fully seeing my essence. I have made up my mind she says softly and will put it all across as usual through the creative output you have granted me to express myself.

“Yes my darling child” you tell Rita. “Source decided that the twinflames should be clearly indicated their mission when the connection started fully and understand that the mission is more important than their attachment to each other.

This has now become the work of the twinflames” you add. “They must come together first joining in Love and working through the evolution of that Love as well as helping other beings who come to them with their relational problems until everyone, everywhere in this realm has finally understood and accepted the nature of Love. It is only when that happens that you will all reach what some of you have identified as the Golden Age. Unfortunately many misguided beings have interpreted in different ways these teachings and only use the concurrent teachings of Love and the Flow of Time to create alternate realities that suit them on a very material level instead of helping the Love evolve. Even those twinflames who have not been able to connect for whatever reason should still continue to live within their archetype be it Love or any other archetype which actually all go back to the same ultimate reality which is Source. In every choice of

connecting though, you need to understand what you have chosen without judging either yourself or the other twinflame, without forcing the connection but without forsaking it eitherâ&#x20AC;?

Rita smiles at Kalen and marvels how much his projection of him as she sees him now reminds her of Martin and of his essence when it beamed at her through the looking glass opposite her bed.

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave me alone too long though Kayla, she says. I count on your guidance as you sow the clues of synchronicity for my past self so that I may trace myself back here and hopefully with Martin. If he does not come, I hope you will come for me in the future when I am an old and tired woman just as you did for Nina and that you will take me back with you so that I may ease this ache within me. He had promised me that he would not act like Harold did. He seemed so much in love and so truthful when he made those promises to me as we lay in that bed and before that on that couch. I can slowly even remember all those future times when he was here beside me and we were growing old together. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand his choice though but hope that he will be able to understand it and see through the world of illusion that cloaks his heart and misguides his mind.

“I hope so too my darling” I say softly embracing her as we get ready to leave her again.

She stands up to wave goodbye, resolutely in the now of her alternate reality and as we leave we see her through the web of Time which is fading curled up in her bed her nose buried in Harold’s clothes which still bear the smell of Martin’s essence.

“I feel sad for her pain whether it is temporary or permanent” I tell you, my essence already wavering at her sadness though it is less acute as she seems to have gained some sort of a new-found confidence in her alternate reality.

“She will be fine” you answer in my essence, drawing me closer as we warp back on the way towards Source.

Meanwhile, Rita wakes up from the dream with the vivid impression of having gone somewhere though she cannot remember exactly where. She remembers the Time spent together with her twinflame, the love, the agony and Pain of separation, the longing. After pacing throughout the room she finally understands now that the Rita of her dreams as she had chosen to call her is actually her. She slowly sits on the couch and begins writing the Fourth chapter of this incredible recount, her hands trembling as she fully realises now that she

was not piecing together a novel created from parts of an imaginary dream but she is writing her own story as it unfolds backwards and frontwards through this flowing, coursing, raging, beautiful and yet often agonising River of Time.

Her choice is made or rather made again and she feels more than she knows with her mind that Kayla approves of it as does Mother. After all, whatever the outcome, in Love, there is only Loveâ&#x20AC;Ś

Chapter Five: Remembering Time Imagine if you were to sow in your past clues to your future, in a subtle creative way to ensure that from Twin Futures, only the best would survive while you keep Balancing Worlds, concentrated on Building a New World where you may say Rise and Shine O Hearts that Love; Rise From The Dead Realm. Ghost Wanderer with etheric messages planted within the coils that bring life to a new budding Peace Profound.

Imagine those clues like Thumbelina's crumbs with only bread, The Bread of Mercy, left to replace the stones and birds eating away at most of them as you walk guided by Heart's Rotating Light, In Memoriam, Journey of a Soul, In Trails of Feathers until you reach the I Flying Phoenix

Imagine that if words were not enough, visual clues were also given through images and videos so that you would finally work your way towards the Truth knowing that perhaps â&#x20AC;&#x153;All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dreamâ&#x20AC;? and

that

are

ultimately,

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZqAnIp5dMQ) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcRz8sgvpTE )

Only in

Breath Dreams

Those confused words and images kept playing in her mind as she recalled the events of the week before. Upon waking from the dream, she had known with the utmost certainty that this was her life she was talking about and that these dreams were in fact leaps in Time both frontwards and backwards. Something or someone was enabling her to do this as she doubted that she had such a capacity on her own.

She quickly looked up a few images of the movie “The Time traveler’s wife” again and realised that this was so familiar but she had never thought of it as applicable to herself. She recalled the spirit as she had coined it who visited her when she was 5 and told her that only Love was the most important thing in this world and without it the world would perish.

The incident had been so similar to the movie’s scene where Henry and Clare meet when she is 6 and Rita realised that although she had not seen it before but merely chanced upon a few videos several weeks back, this was uncannily what had happened between her and the spirit. She had been too young to understand then but the recognition of its meaning thanks to the other clues was starting to dawn upon her. A New Dawn, a New World to build as she had penned it in Building a New World, in hope of averting one future and realising the second between the Twin Futures as she had also penned.

Slowly but surely, Rita started realising that everything she had been writing had in fact been a coded message that was being passed on to her through Time so that she would wake up. She recalled the synchronicities such as the persistent 11.11 that she kept seeing everywhere and how it had then transformed to 777 that she kept seeing in cars license plates and on magazines as well as phone numbers. She also thought back to how effortlessly the words had flowed to her and how she herself at times puzzled at their meaning, all the while with the feeling that this was something she needed to understand although the key to that understanding eluded her.

As she later discovered, there was never just one key and to avoid misuse or theft of the codes, they always came with a twin code, carried by a person whom she then was told would be called a twinflame. Together, after sending each other coded messages that the forefathers transmitted etherically to them, they would finally decode all the messages and set out for the task they had been given.

She was not sure whether she should call them forefathers really. It was true that they had somehow conceived her but this was merely an act in retrospect of Time and she thought amusedly to herself that it was they really who were her offspring despite them assisting to her birth and facilitating it. What an odd situation where you are the “lost-in-great”-grandmother of your future “forefathers”.

She laughed nervously then sighed and sat back in her armchair, slowly rocking herself as she pondered over the whole matter. She had thought she understood the mission but she realised that she was only beginning to understand the emerging portion of the iceberg and that a lot still remained hidden from her. For some reason Kayla was not giving her all the knowledge, as if she was afraid of what her reaction would be. She merely had told her cryptically those few lines that kept playing again and again in her head.

Suddenly Rita jumped to her feet and ran to her laptop. She logged in feverishly to her account that she had closed just for a while as her elbow was still hurt and started revisiting all the poems that Kayla had strangely emphasized though saying that some others mattered too. The more she looked, the more images and choices of videos suggested themselves to her and she watched them increasingly dismayed at what she saw. The one that sparked her attention the most was the hollywood Trailer of Noah, describing the biblical flood and while she watched it, with the superimposed image of the Phoenix popping out from the tab above, she knew in an instant what it was that had been gnawing at her mind for so long. They were all going to die but it would not be in the waters unlike the biblical myth of Noah; it would be through flames. She realised that somehow, somewhere things were going to go horribly wrong and that humanity as a whole would be wiped out in a sea of flames.

Kayla! She shrieked out and soon enough Kayla was there, her essence appearing smaller than usual with Kalen by her side, seemingly reduced as well.

“What do you wish to know, Rita?” I said nervous as I realised that she had understood at least partly what we had been attempting to hide from her though we had told her most of the remaining Truth about the heartpath and the Essence.

We have all died, is it not so? You like us are also dead and have just come back to try to prevent us all from dying a most horrible death, Rita says so slowly that it seems she is spelling out her words.

“I feel your pain Rita. I am sorry. You are right in a way. We are all dead in some way or the other. You are all completely dead and we are partially dead if you take the physical description of being alive but our soul lives on through the essence” I tell her looking at her face and wondering whether she is getting it.

You mean that you have found a way to save yourselves but have chosen not to save us? Rita almost barks at Kayla.

“It is not that simple, Rita” I tell her understanding her anger and pain as that too was partly what I had felt when getting to know from Mother the

Truth. “You see, the people of your time were incapable of being synthetised into an essence of what they were. They were too complex and had a spectrum of emotions and we did not know how to code all of that so we decided to trace back your encoding using two main factors which we felt would then be able to create in turn the whole spectrum of other emotions by applying derivatives to those root factors. Basically we decided to encode using both Love and Fear as the main roots.” -

“Unfortunately, we realised that encoding fear as a root code was a very bad mistake and we had to pay for it with our own lives. Thank goodness that up the river of Time this had already been provided for by Mother who then made sure that Fear was removed out of the coding equation and that only Love would be encoded to be transported into the future” you add.

I don’t understand, Rita says her eyes starting to well up with tears. Do you mean that you died in the physical because you transported our fear into your coding of us so that we would survive with you.

“Yes” I say softly.

“With your fear-based coding you manifested the same reality all over again. Our beautiful haven that we had created was turned in no time to a war zone and then you had again torched our beautiful Nova Gaia killing all of us in the process” you add grimly.

Rita is profusely crying now. Her tears all over her clothes and laptop which you slowly ease out of her hands.

“Slow on that” you say. “You know how it is with water and fire. They don’t go to well and you can’t be buying yourself another laptop losing all the information of images and messages you have stored in here.”, you add.

I feel so bad really. I can’t understand how we ruined our own world and then went ahead and ruined your world after you rescued us.

“You had never mastered your fears during your Time. We did not understand what they were as Source had not told us about fear then but when he uncovered your universe within the multiverse and decided to let us rescue it as a game we would compete in, Source had never known we would be able to achieve that but using a means which would ultimately destroy us as well. I guess that Source was too keen on knowing the result of the experiment to think of its dangers” I add slowly.

I look at you and think that any one of us could have made the same mistake, mostly both of us compared to the other archetypes as we were always so curious about everything.

You look back at me and smile agreeing implicitly with my reasoning before looking back at Rita and saying “Rita, you have to collect yourself now. There is

still a lot to do and a lot for you to understand. The main part now to understand is that your mission is to Love and teach love all around you, whether it is with your twinflame or not. He has given you the decisive code whether he wanted it or not. In whatever way it manifested, it was encoded in his DNA to transmit the code to you at the time that you were ready for it and you would understand the message as it would reach you in a way that allowed for the final click to be in place” you add.

I have already decoded part of it, Rita says before adding: The initial part was to go beyond the illusion and understand that the Truth was something else, that it was vaster than just our individual selves, that it was something at the level of the Universe and something really important to take care of. That is how I reached this final conclusion, she concludes breathless.

“Yes my darling” I say. “You understood that it was about universal love and not about the love between two human beings although that message too was important. You see, we needed not only to encode pure love without the interferences of other emotions that could eventually ruin our world, we also needed all of you to become pure love so that you could then be transported within our world without tainting it”

Rita whispers softly, Become Love my Love.

“Precisely, Rita” I say. “I know you will have a lot of difficulty getting around this as we did ourselves in the beginning when Source taught us how to encode so that we would avoid our own destruction again but we are basically all encoded as archetypes which are compressed into a remnant of physical tool to enable our expansion and compression as we flow through the rivers of Time and Space. That remnant of physical tool is air, which is why we often are defined as Breath by some who see us or feel our presence as we visited them during our attempts to win the competition.”

“Source advised us to use only one archetype in encoding each of us although some of us may have two or more archetypes when they are able to carry the code effectively within their breath” you add.

So you are all just air now, Rita says looking at us blankly.

“So to speak yes” I say with a half-smile. “We are the archetypes that are placed within us and we are able to modulate the frequency of that or those archetypes in order to manifest into the physical what the archetype would look like if it had a physical form. In our case I was initially created as Love, Truth and Creation while Kalen was also Love but additionally Deceit and Destruction. We were created as such by our Mother and Father before Source realised that the best encoding was to keep only Love in order to avoid any problems in the Future. Our Breath or Essence was then

reprogrammed to exclude the negative elements such as Deceit and Destruction but with our usual warping into each other and our trails in Time, we somehow have picked up a bit of those archetypes back and sent them back to Source which now recognises that we will remain individually unique and more than just Love. “ -

“Source had explained though that Destruction was merely creation looked at from a different perspective in Time and when we got to no Time or zeropoint within him, we then understood what he meant.” you tell Rita looking at her intently

“You can think of it as when you watch a movie in reverse for example when watching a glass fall to the ground and shatter” I add. “The glass unshatters, then goes up back into your hand and you look at it with some feeling of contentment as you are happy to have that glass and that contentment, crystallised in time bears the coding of Love which then governs both the shattering and un-shattering of the same glass, explaining both its creation and its destruction as being the same thing, Love, when looked at from different perspectives in Time.”

“A mere matter of viewpoint” you say before adding “Now you need to know Rita that there are also other competitors within this competition to change the Future that Source initiated for our own personal experience and among them some who have actually turned rogue. Instead of

continuing the competition to save your world, they have actually chosen to enter it and make it a closed Universe disabling most of the connections to your kind. Somehow, they have been able to stop the destruction mechanism by creating loops of Time just before the disaster that scorched your world. We believe that they are using your moon as a basis to channel your essences which are then sent back to your world within the loop and they are able to harvest your love in a way that enables them to keep the loop never-ending. Instead of continuing the competition to fully save your world, they are just using it as a means of achieving personal power. It is those of the archetypes that are not pure love and that did not want Source to reprogram them into the pure archetype of Love. Mother and Father are still looking at how they have done this and soon enough we shall stop them from doing it.

Meanwhile you must continue your progression

towards achieving pure and Universal Love so that we may perhaps avoid the disaster altogether and then be able to remove this loop so that you are then able to walk fully into this alternate Future that we are living in. Remember that loving one another and avoiding killing each other is key to that future.â&#x20AC;?

Rita looks again blankly at us. I feel dizzy she says, I need to get some air and we both laugh at the idea of its eventually cannibalistic reference as we warp into each other and help her to the balcony so that she may get some fresh air. Rita walks slowly towards the edge of the balcony looking at the city which

stretches before her and thinking of how she can stop the impending disaster. She now knows that there was a good reason why she came from a mixed marriage with parents not only from different continents but also from different faiths. She also understands how this then ties up with her upbringing that enabled her to concentrate more on tolerance, mercy and compassion for others rather than hatred and selfishness.

I am also Truth, she says with a half-smile as she turns towards Kayla, as I am creation. Thank goodness Source did not have to remove those from us, she adds with a pained look, I don’t know what I would have done without those to bring me comfort.

“Those of you who have been selected by us for encoding have had to lead lives that shape your thoughts and then bring you to the heartpath or the recognition of Universal Love as that is the determining factor in allowing us to reach the right future” I say.

“What you do with that selection is merely up to you really” you add. “We have made a choice to encode you and follow your progress as you work on the heartpath mission and as we made such a choice, we have been inclined to allow you too to make choices on what you do with the gifts we have given you. Those of you who do not wish to accept the responsibility can then just go back to sleep and forget the whole matter. The connection

with them is then reduced to dormant and they do not receive messages anymore except if something within the etheric landscape changes to revive that connection, such as a different choice in futureâ&#x20AC;? you conclude -

For those The Time will never come back I guess, Rita says softly as she continues watching the city below while the skies suddenly split with lightning and thunder growls in the distance before shimmering, gorgeous life-filled drops of rain start pouring from the Sky.

Chapter Six: Transcendence or the path to the Creation of the Essence Rita sat to write again the words that flowed from the music just as I had told her to do so. I watched her through the looking glass as she sometimes got irritated with some of the words that meant nothing really to her. We knew she was a creature of Love so we always gave her the messages through imagery and music of Love and she picked up well the flow but did not necessarily understand what she was doing.

I look at you as you watch her too, wondering why we had not thought of sending the messages directly before. You glance back at me and whisper in my essence -

“You know that can never be done in the beginning. It has to be a dialog so that they can fit in comfortably in the beginning and then we just need to send additional prompts once they are mature. If we were to send isolated prompts right from the start they would just remain puzzled like with the number prompts we send”

“True” I acknowledge. I peer into what she is writing through her mind and am quite pleased at how she is getting used to the meaning albeit without fully figuring it out.

“In Time we will give her additional prompts and codes” you say as you warp into my essence. Let us go back to Source now, we can’t keep a watch over her all the Time.

“She is getting weary though when we orb with her in dreamtime” I say a bit worried. “I wonder whether she will get used to this constant change in Time that we need to submit her to so that her mind and heart open up more” I say out loud looking back at you.

Rita pauses in her writing and looks up with the distinct impression of someone staring at her. She calls out softly : Kayla, is that you? Do you want to see what I have written?

I move further from the looking glass and from you motioning you to remain silent and simply watch her as she gazes right through the looking glass seemingly at us. She smiles and waves and I stare back at you puzzled.

“She can’t possibly see us” you say reassuringly but we both know that she somehow feels our presence on the other side.

Rita sits back at her rocking chair and proceeds to put the laptop again on her knees. Fine, she says, if you don’t want to talk to me, I will talk alone and you

can answer me if you wish. She puts the words in the order that is flowing through her mind as she listens to the music and then publishes the resulting poem.

Circular dance in energy flow 19 November 2015

Orb essence of tides under lightbeams Where blue meets the red split the square in sun’s radius Crescent moon’s diffraction cracks’ halo Still waters’ doorway to realities alternate Fuse blue-red core in liquid portal Parallel pivots a doorway to heartpath core split Flow body through thin entrance’s seams Knead essence liquid breath cross of levels five minus Liquify shadows flames in the glow Athena’s crescent moon in between worlds low vibrate Waterfall in black queen’s hood regal Liquid portal’s tight rope walk in condensed lightning lit My hologram’s music here in dreams Backward waters cut out Red on Blue, twin arcs rebus Heartbeat frequency make rhythmic slow Matter’s shape collapse in red expansion core dilate Core in lightning’s backward loop’s fractal Blue contraction coils gaseous substance emit Breath essence loop in portals by teams Axis magnet, Blue meets the red, metamorphosis Circular dance in energy flow

Then rid the heart path core of low frequencies of hate Spin through the portals twin parallel Rotation of core seed through the molecular kit

Rita always wondered how the images just came up to her when she needed them. It was true that she used google to find images that would be suitable but still, how did those magical keywords then take her straight to those images that made her heart beat faster and assured her they were the perfect images that would go with the poem she had written?

Rita sighed and stretched back in her chair. She was exhausted again and this Time she had slept off quite early so she did not understand how she had become this tired. She must ask Kayla she thought why so much Time was missing every instance that she felt this tired. She remembered going to the balcony but did not remember how she had got back to her bed and why it was that every bone in her body felt like it had been mishandled.

I perceive her thoughts and look at you questioningly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Perhaps we ought to tell her moreâ&#x20AC;? you say quietly before warping into me again so we may reach her.

Rita almost drops the laptop from her knees, jumping with a start when we materialise next to her. Kayla, Kalen, she says surprised to see us fully materialised in front of her.

What brings you here now? I thought you did not want to talk to me, she adds.

“We thought you deserved some answers” you say looking at her with a smile

Oh that definitely, Rita says smiling back

“I know you have been feeling weary lately” I say

Yes, there are also parts of the Time when we get together that just seem to disappear, Rita says. Besides, I really don’t understand why I am so tired even when I sleep early, she adds.

“Well” I say “we take you with us during dreamtime to show you more of the alternate reality we have set up and also how we go about transcending the matter. Of course we don’t have any real dense matter left where we are so we have to place you within a shield when we take you with us or you would lose all the dense matter that is within you and not be able to come back here” I add

What do you mean you take me with you within a shield in dreamtime, Rita says looking at us blankly

“We put you in a preserving cocoon and orb away with you like we orb ourselves from one place to another as you have seen us do” you say. “The only difference is that you do not transform like we do but we carry you along preserved and the resulting compression and expansion as we move through the portals is what leaves you exhausted as you feel the effect even though you are not fully subject to the forces. We only do this rarely though as it requires a lot of energy to transport you with us and we also create ripples in Time when we do so. We’ve had a long talk with Mother about this and she said it was necessary in order for you to expand properly so we thought we could spare the extra energy it cost us. We took some of it from the energy we stored when Martin and you were together anyway” you add jokingly.

Rita is still looking at us blankly and does not seem to get what we are telling her.

You mean you are like aliens who abduct human beings and take them to other places and then these human beings come back talking about horrible experiments that they have been subjected to? she questions

“Don’t be silly Rita” I tell her firmly. “Were you ever subjected to any torture from us? Besides remember that we are no aliens. We are you and you are us, we just don’t happen to share the same Time and density of matter” I add

What do I know about what you do to me, Rita says slowly, a sense of doubt and mistrust clouding her face before it clears again.

She knows intuitively that they have done nothing of the sort and knows Kayla enough to be certain that she would never torture her.

Wait a minute, Rita says. If you are taking me with you, how come nobody around has aged when we come back? I had read and even seen movies where the person comes back to find that everyone they knew has become old or died in the meantime…

“You are being silly again Rita” you cut in. “We have mastered Time and can move in and out of a given moment with the precision of more than a nanosecond. There is no chance that anything would have been altered in the meantime. You are not moving in Time with us with Time actually flowing. We orb through zero Time in space until the point of our journey and orb back in zero time mainly using the portals that take us through Time’s fractals”

Rita starts laughing nervously when you say that.

Speaking of fractals I can tell you I feel every bone in my body fractured in a million pieces, she says before adding and I am not sure that you have nothing to do with that.

“Well sometimes the journey is longer and your body suffers the various compressions and expansions as I said before. In fact, you often keep the trace of those shifts within your matter which is why some days you wake up with your body totally swollen and other days your body has got rid of its excess liquid again. As you must have understood by now with all the prompts we sent you, the portals are liquid and we use the fact that a large part of you is already water and only a small part needs preserving in the cocoon” I explain.

Well if you can orb me around and compress and expand me as you please, why don’t you give me a nice slim body to begin with and then do with it as you please during the journeys, Rita says half joking half-serious. In fact for that matter, you can also knock a few years off my face and body and that would not be a pity, she adds with an impish grin.

“Have you not noticed how your face keeps morphing? We even had you take many pictures after the first times that we were experiencing orbing with you back in 2010 and 2011 so that you would be able to track the

changes within your organism. This actually serves as a reference for our future trials with others. Every Time we had some setbacks in our trajectory because of your shield that did not allow us to orb straight through the portals you had somewhat aged so we had to remove some of your age and we did not always get it right in the beginning. Besides, we also had to add or remove some of your dense matter – what you call fat tissues – and that was also somewhat approximate in the beginning as we had lost the agility in dealing with the dense matter that we no longer were used to” I tell Rita -

“We’ve got it right now” you cut in smilingly “you must have noticed that you tend to always more or less look the same apart from some exceptions where you have been in overdrive and we cannot put you back together properly” you add

This whole thing sounds totally whacky, Rita says pensively. How do I know that I am not just simply as mad as a hatter and that I am dreaming all of this as well as literally imagining the both of you and Mother visiting me and telling me all of this. How can I know with certainty I am not imagining the flow of words that reach me and that it is not mere fantasy that dictates them to me? she adds looking at us with a rebellious glint in her eye.

You laugh and pull her towards us and we embrace her allowing our warmth to perfuse her body and still her beating heart. When she is pacified we slowly release her and she stands straight again looking at us with dreamy eyes.

I don’t understand most of the words or at least let us say that I don’t understand what it really means and I sometimes feel so useless piecing them together with the impression that this will be worth nothing and will never help anyone at all, Rita says her voice slightly shaking

“Don’t you worry” I say “Aside from the other archetypes that are also prompted and recognise the messages, there are also some people who will be able to decode properly what you have as output” I add smiling at her reassuringly.

But I don’t feel like anybody is actually using that input, Rita says. It all seems like an utter and full waste of your efforts and mine. Besides, I can’t keep doing this as not only I feel there is no ultimate real purpose in getting the information out there but I also earn absolutely nothing from doing this. I have to tend to my other responsibilities and ensure that I am getting proper income and this is taking out much of my Time that could be used in a more beneficial way, she adds a bit contrite.

“We have always provided for you and you have never lacked anything as you must have realised” you say looking at her intently. “Did you not

realise that we have kept you maintained in this path so that you will evolve and despite your stubbornness in trying to go back to your old way of life we have kept reorienting you. The last time we did it was a bit brutal I admit but we had no choice as you were drifting back to a dark sleep where your awareness was fading away and we could not afford losing you after all the insight we had diffused within you over the years” you add slowly stroking her hair to calm her -

I am sorry I am so full of doubt and rebellion but sometimes when I look around me I wonder if there is really anything worth saving in this world, Rita says feebly.

“Did we not show you what is worth saving?” I tell her softly

Yes you did Kayla, she says apologetically. I have to admit that every time I am feeling forlorn and drift away from this world to which I feel no kinship you offer me insights into its beauty and relevance for us all. Every time I walk in the garden and look around me I see your prompts, the birds in the skies flying in certain forms, the glimmer amongst the trees, the shades of flowers and the winding of their bloom, their beautiful fragrance, the glory of the sun as it warms my neck and the wonderful laughter of the children in the neighbourhood as they race past the house, she continues wistfully. I am grateful to you for when you whisper to my attention all these things as they allow me to brace myself and smile through another

day, waiting for the Time when the music will flow and my fingers will pen that flow into something that someone, somewhere will understand and decode appropriately that we may all be saved and be able to finally go back home, she adds. -

“Stay focused Rita. Do not lose hope. Mother has placed a lot of hope and faith in you. She has given you the wisdom of the owl and the heart of the lark. Use both in full balance and everything will be alright” I say before hugging her. “We have to go now” I tell her.

“Promise that you will keep doing what you are meant to do” you add, hugging her too.

I will, Rita says a bit tearfully. I need to get some energy now as I still feel depleted from the loss of Martin. Will you send me a prompt that will restore my energy?” she adds hopeful

“We are sending you new prompts that not only will restore your energy but will also give visual indications on that which is required to successfully collapse matter and cross the liquid portals” I tell her with a smile.

How will that be useful to anyone but myself, Rita cries out. I don’t understand what it says. I wish I had done Physics and chemistry as I

initially felt inclined to instead of IT and economy as I finally chose, she blurts out. -

“That is another story and is not really your fault. As we told you before, we have competitors who have come here but have remained enticed by the dense matter’s vanity enhancement and using this world as a means to entertain themselves amassing wealth in the meantime thanks to their knowledge of the portals and of Time’s loops. They often interfere with the ones we choose, trying to spin them out of balance and out of the chosen path. Sometimes they succeed but those we protect, they are unable to affect fully. I will tell you more about that during another visit” I say. “We need to leave now as there are many things that need to be done and we are still not ubiquitous like Mother so need to actually leave you in order to tend to these other matters but we will be back soon, don’t you worry” you add

Rita watches us leave and as we leave, I throw some flowers on her path, leading her to the prompts that she hungrily latches on to, listening with bliss to the music as she fervently types away our encounter.

“Oh, durga, divine mother, destroy my doubts, my fears and my longings, so I may be free to follow thee and find my destiny Oh, Durga, divine mother, set me free of anger, hatred and belonging, so i can follow the path of my heart, in eternal surrender to thee, knowing I am thy child,

resting in thy arms, knowing that thy are my mother, taking care of me in all circumstances Oh, Durga, let me follow in thy footsteps, be brave as a warrior, fear no evil, be unwavering in my love and compassion, surrendering to the eternal ocean of bliss Oh, Durga, lead me, not into temptation, but to thy heart, which is the nectar of the gods of immortality, teach me to be humble and brave, to become the one that I am Durga, to your feet I bow down, and put my sorrows, my worries and all my distractions, so I can be really an instrument of thy power and compassion Durga, mother of all, bestower of wisdom, may I drink from thy breasts, and rest in thy lap, knowing I am safe in all the world, asking for thy protection, nurtured like an infant, resting in her motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arms Oh, durga, to you I set my heart, my courage, my love and my will Take me as thy intrument, and use me to bring peace and the power of compassion into this world. Oh, Durga, my heart is your heart. Take it as thine. And I am willingly your servant, lover, partner and pupil. I am yours. Thy bread and wine.â&#x20AC;?

Chapter Seven: On playgrounds and Kingdoms without a King Mother came to Rita again, this time in broad daylight, her face a dark river of shimmering stars, the bluest of hues her black body. -

What are these talks of going elsewhere?

Rita felt as always when she saw Mother torn between Shaking awe and powerful solace

Well you told me Mother that this place would be no more and that we would all live in another place, very different from here so I was just getting myself ready for the journey, knowing it would be long

It could be, yes but where do you think it is? Some distant planet that I have chosen for you? Another universe perhaps?

The ground shook under her step and the air vibrated with her presence as she walked, a figure of grace and power all at once

I don’t know Mother. Another galaxy, yes, I assumed

You assume a lot child. When you don’t know why don’t you just ask me?

A smile tugged at the corners of what Rita imagined were her lips. It was not really that she had a face but Rita could see in that river something that replicated an image of what she thought a human face would look like. Rita volunteered a smile back and Mother laughed so Rita laughed too, at first with a sense of guilt and then freely with the wildest of joys as the room heaved and shook with their laughter and the frames from the wall strew the grounds in fits.

I shall ask you next time Mother. Ritaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s voice was between a hiccup and a snigger, the laughs still Shaking her uncontrollably

The journey within can be long but you know best what this place will be like because you will be one of the builders.

Me? One of which builders? How many are we? How much time do we have?

Oh Time, that silly notion I put in place a long time ago for us to measure the dilation of your playgrounds. I think you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to worry about that anymore soon.

Are we going to a place of zero-point? Will we reach full stillness, no Time?

She laughed again and Rita laughed too though less heartily as she was keen on having Mother answer before she left.

What is zero-point? Do you still ask me really the question, child? Have I not left more impact on such matters with you before?

It is the point of implosion, when Time will disappear and our bodies will transform, right? It is the bridge between the playgrounds.

Mother was listening to Rita, a little twirl in her like every time Rita knew she was pleased with her response.

Do you know why you are changing playgrounds?

I think it is because we have outgrown this one. We don’t know what to do anymore here and most of us are getting bored, with some creating new games in the playground which are not to everyone’s liking or others playing the sae games that we are sick and tired of playing. Yet they don’t care much when we tell them to stop, that it is not a nice game anymore and that we are tired of it, that we want to play a nicer and more interesting game.

Yes, well that is the old way of the male energy. It only knows destruction and return to void, unlike what you hold and some of you have

marginalised your female energy. It was not a thing of a day, it took many light travels of your Time to achieve that.

But why was the female energy marginalised? Why not leave us alone?

Do you still wonder why? It is because you are the ones who create and play the most. When you arrived here, each of you had chosen which side of the energy you would be on because full balance would take you out of the playground and those who chose the male energy lost their touch with the full creation energy because it is the female energy that stirs the void into creation. In your reality, the female energy still needs the male energy to create within physical density but it does not in the realm of dreams and art which are expressions of your eternal being.

But there are many male artists, not just female artists.

Yes, being male or female is not just a matter of external appearance. Those who thus create have not withdrawn completely from the female energy but preserved it within them. Some, though very predominantly in the male energy, thrive on the energy they draw from the females they attract around them to stir their internal voids into creation.

If all males know whether consciously or unconsciously that females are essential to the game, why do they suppress us so? Why not just play along with us?

Have you not realised child that things are changing? More males are waking up to and accepting the female energy as it returns to them.

But at the same time such horrors are committed against women in so many places around the world. Not just women but also children. All these wars that bring desolation to the hearts of everyone and mostly to those of women and children, so many of them abused and broken

Yes my child but that is soon a thing of the past. Who else, other than females is so close to creation and playing?

Oh yes, children of course!

Precisely my child, they do that because they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to change playgrounds. They try to keep you in fear and in anger so that you will lose hope, love, laughter and therefore the possibility to continue creating the new playgrounds. They create a vicious circle by which you enslave yourself into this playground, forced to play with the bullies they have become and that way you would never have enough material to create another playground. By attempting to keep you in that vicious circle, they

attempt to never leave this playground where they can rule like the tyrant children they have become but both father and I are tired. We have to shake all of you back into your senses and we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t choose which ones to shake because you have all created a common playground. Your playground heaves, it is soaked in waters, it is seared by flames that all of you may finally understand that this playground is not for you anymore, that it is time to go to the new playgrounds.

Transform or die?

Not exactly my child. Understand when the game is over and move on to the new game, pick up the code and learn the new rules that you might not be taken aback but fear not, the rules are precisely those. Not to fear. Only to Love, freely, wholly and uncontrollably.

But what then of detachment? The wise ones speak of detachment and of not allowing oneself to get attached. How do you love wholly and uncontrollably and at the same time not get attached?

Well I have to say that the notion of detachment you are all playing with is not the one we had in mind when we originally set the rules of your playground. Your detachment has become a sense of nothingness, a dull grey of being while the detachment we had in mind was a shiny explosion of vibrant colours

How can one speak of detachment and explosion of colours. I don’t understand Mother…

It is simple really child. Detachment is that knowledge in you that everything you are playing with is merely a means for play and for learning something else that will help you in another playground. Nothing is for keeping forever because otherwise you would be playing all the time the same games with the same playthings. Have you not seen your children how they play with toys and then tire of them after a while and want something new to play with? Have you not noticed what they do if you force them to keep the same toys?

Yes, after a while they destroy them. Well actually I have noticed that it is more the boys who destroy the toys when they don’t want them anymore. The girls most of the time just go and sit by themselves or with each other if they have company, singing or playing with imaginary toys or friends.

Not just the girls, those boys with the female energy in them also do that.

A twinkle passes through what Rita feels are her eyes. Today she is not changing into a human-type form for Rita. She seems to be very taken by this whole matter of playgrounds and Rita’s misunderstanding of them. In fact she seems so taken

that she has not even waited for Kayla or Kalen to accompany her but has come herself and right in the middle of the day.

So do you understand better detachment now?

I think I do Mother. Detachment is not caring less. In fact it is caring to the maximum point but knowing all the same that you will give away these means of playing and move to another level some day and if the means of play was not capable of transforming into a means for the next level into the next playground than we will never see those means again. We can continue to care for those means but we know that we will have to leave them and be in peace with the fact of leaving them.

She smiled and stars sparkled harder within her dark river. It shimmered in places again and Rita knew she was now extremely pleased with her. She slowly started materialising into a more human-type form and this always caused Rita such joy because she could actually look into Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s huge beautiful eyes full of power and compassion and be submerged by their infinity.

Mother, please tell me and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be angry with me. People speak of apocalypse, of the end of Times, of retribution and of the Day of Judgement. They say that God will decide who will go to Heaven and who

will go to Hell based on our deeds and that we only have this Life, that we will need to redeem ourselves in it if we had committed sins.

Do you believe in Heaven and Hell, in God and in the Devil?

Well I believe that there is an energy of Love and an opposing energy of Fear and that perhaps we can call these God and the Devil if we think in our human terms.

Hmmmmâ&#x20AC;Ś. Well, for the sake of argument in the sense that you like to use, let us say that there is a Devil, one with horns and hooves and with tattered wings from the Times that he was an angel before he was cast upon the Kingdoms of Hell as it goes by the teachings that were brought to you. People have given him such great powers maKing him akin to God alone though inferior in rank to him as the belief goes. What according to you would happen to the Devil on Judgement Day?

The question took Rita by surprise. She had never thought about that and was not sure anybody had actually thought about that. Yes, true, what would happen to the Devil on Judgement Day? Rita thought to herself.

Well I guess he would be punished like all the evil-doers and he would beâ&#x20AC;Ś

Cast to Hell?

The irony in her voice was palpable as her human-type body now clearly shook with mirth. Rita was slowly getting the point of what she was trying to say. If on Judgement Day the Devil got cast to hell, he was merely being sent back to his own Kingdom where he would reign as a King again and no subject of that Kingdom would dare question the King. So in all likelihood on Judgement Day the Devil would actually be rewarded and with royal title, just like he was while moving all those wrong-doers to carry out their ill-advised deeds. But if it was so then why would he be rewarded while they would be banished to his Kingdom and tortured while he, the one behind all their misdeeds would be thriving in a Kingdom where he could do as he please while he was the true culprit really?

Mother was watching Rita closely and this latter could feel Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s watchful intent eyes upon her as her face betrayed her inner turmoil and confusion of thoughts. Rita gave up at last trying to reason internally and volunteered a partial response.

It would not be right I presume

Why not? Could he not be cast to hell and not be a King there?

Well there cannot be a Kingdom without a King. If there is one, then he is the Devil but the old Devil would be no more because we are normally on Judgement Day where only God would be ruling. If the Devil is no more, then he would be a mortal being judged for his misdeeds and if he were a mortal then he is not to blame really because it would be the Devil who would be the true culprit but that Devil was just put in place to be the King of the Kingdom and who could be put in that place on Judgement Day if there are no more real Devils and only mortals, The Old Devil and God with his angels. Would another angel be sacrificed to play the part of the New Devil? That would be a monstrous fate and would it really be Judgement Day if we had a New Devil in place? Would God have to take that part for himself? If he did would that not be twice the monstrosity? Would those of us who carried out the misdeeds have to condemn ourselves to be the Devil and would we have to cast ourselves into Hell and torture ourselves? Would we all be the King or would we take turns in being the Devil King? If we were the King, would we not be able to do as we please within our own Kingdom?

The more Rita thought about it, the less it made sense. Mother merely smiled at her knowingly. She came closer to Rita, lifting her chin and looKing her again straight in the Eye.

Yes, there cannot be a Kingdom without a King and where there is no King there can be no Kingdom. So on Judgement Day as most of you would have it, there would be no Judgement and no means of executing that Judgement. Do you understand now?

There will be no Judgement Day. Just the Day we are all together again with the Source of all things. Is that why there are these playgrounds, so that we may slowly act out different levels of the game of life?

Not exactly? Father and I wanted to test various scenarios but it was not just about life, it was about life and death and everything in between. It was about creation and the transformation of the energy. How it could come about, how it would evolve and what it would evolve into. It is now Time for other playgrounds. This one is saturated by the same playing and playthings and your nimble consciousness needs novelty, new fields, new experiences, new ways of expanding. Did we not tell you before? In fact we even left it within all your textbooks as there are not just playthings for children but also things to learn from within your textbooks. We told you that we created you in our image because you are miniature representations of us. You remember the talk about the archetypes you had with Kayla and Kalen, it is precisely that. Now it is time to have those archetypes evolve further into their purer forms and this entails leaving this playground to go to the next.

I rather liked it here. I will miss it.

That is why you have to learn to detach my darling child but never stop experiencing that flow of sensations, that burst of colours within your chest and behind your eyes because it is the fabric of your future playgrounds and you will need to keep weaving it because there will be nothing left here soon.

Rita looked around, soaking in the sun far behind the houses, moving slowly towards the higher point of skies and sighed. She did not want to tell it to Mother again but she would really miss this playground. It was so beautiful and Rita was having a hard time giving up the toys she had played with here. She still felt there was so much to learn here but Mother seemed to think that it was Time for her to move to the other playground. Rita sighed again. The sun was sparkling on the small puddle in the lawn left by the rain and it made her think of Mother again as it bore the remnants of the starlight that ran through her rivers.

Rita sighed again as she looked back to the blue skies stretching in the horizons, behind Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s frame. She had a fleeting thought for Martin but realised that like all the other means of play in this playground, she had to let him too go. He was still so bent on playing within this playground and his main playthings were void and destruction with only distorted waves of the Love. She knew without

Mother or Kayla needing to tell her that a phase in the growth of her Heart was over and Martin belonged to that phase â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at least for now. He was not ready to move into the new playgrounds and kept alternating between blabbering indistinctly about the love of some of his toys, yelling sorely at Mother and Father or throwing some of his old or new toys in rage with tears of anger and madness streaming down his darkened face.

Mother merely smiled at her when she looked back to her and she knew that Mother knew so she smiled back, a smile of relief and gratitude for her caring. All Mothers always know what goes on in their childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind. Sometimes they pretend not to know because they want their child to feel that it has its own secret garden but Rita understood in her Heart of Hearts that Mother knew as certainly as she herself had looked upon her childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faces in times that troubled them and knew. She just knew.

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