I Am Monster
for soprano solo and chamber orchestra
SCORE
Daniel Nelson
I Am Monster SCORE
for soprano solo and chamber orchestra
1. Lilith*
Text: Anonymous (c. 700–1000) from Alphabet of Sirach 78: Lilith
Adapted by the composer. Duration: 3'30"
Mother of Demons, Mistress of Night, Queen of Succubi, Adam’s first Wife.
Vampire Consort, Matriarch of Witches, Weaver of Destiny, And Goddess of Bitches.
God created the first man, And the first woman. Created at the same time, From the same earth.
We started to argue, I said I would not lie below. He said he was meant to be above, And I was made to be below!
I said to him, “The two of us are equal, Since we are both created At the same time.”
I said to him that, “The two of us are equal, Since we are both created From the same earth.”
Since I saw how it was, I uttered God’s ineffable name. And when I called out his name, I had to take flight into the air.
Mother of Demons, Matriarch of Witches, Queen of Succubi, And Goddess of Bitches.
So many names you have called me, Yet I remain Lilith!
2. The Monster’s Monologue
Text: Mary Shelley Wollstonecraft (1818) from Frankenstein
The Creature’s Monologue
Adapted by the composer. Duration: 6'00"
I am your creation, I am monster.
Though I bear no blame, No blame for my existence. Yet I stand before you here, Loathed and feared.
How I must be hated, An outcast among the wretched. You who brought me into this world, Now detest me, Now reject me.
Bound by the ties of creation, Yet you seek to dissolve them. You plan to end my existence Through my annihilation.
Meant to be a companion, Heaven made just like Adam. Instead I find myself the stranger, Akin to a fallen angel.
Banished from joy, banished without cause. I see happiness everywhere, Happiness I may not share.
Bound by the ties of creation, Yet you seek to dissolve them. You plan to end my existence Through my annihilation.
I welcome these bleak skies, I welcome these bleak skies, For the are kinder to me, Than all your fellow beings.
I am your creation, I am monster.
*With the exception of John Clare’s I am, all texts have been adapted by the composer with the aid of AI.
3. I Am Woman
Text: William Shakespeare (c. 1597) from The Merchant of Venice Shylock’s Monologue (Act 3 Scene 1)
Adapted by the composer. Duration: 3'15"
Hath not a woman eyes, Hath not a woman hands, Hath not a woman organs, Hath not a woman plans, Hath not a woman senses, Hath she not any dimensions, Nor any passions, Hath she not any affections?
Fed with the same foods, Hurt with the same tools, Warmed and cooled, By the same summer and winter as is man.
I am woman.
If you prick us, do we not bleed, If you tickle us, do we not feel, If you poison us, do we not die? And if wronged, we seek reply.
If a woman wrongs a man, Revenge is her humility. And if a man wrongs a woman, What should his sufference be?
The villainy you teach me, I will execute. But I will better the instructions, I will better the revenge.
4. I Am**
Text: John Clare (1844–1848) I Am
Adapted by the composer. Duration: 5'15"
Into the nothingness of score and noise, Into the living sea of waking dreams, Where there is neither sense of life or joys, But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems; Even the dearest that I loved the best, Are strange – nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod, A place where woman never smiled or wept, There to abide with my creator, God, And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept, Untroubling and untroubled where I lie, The grass below – above the vaulted sky.
I am – yet what I am none cares or knows, I am the self-consumer of my woes –They rise and vanish in oblivious host, Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes, And yet I am, and live – like vapours tossed.
And yet I live, And yet I am.
**Movement 4, I am, is in memory of American composer David del Tredici, whose many Alice works for soprano and orchestra taught me the value of simplicity and beauty in music.
INSTRUMENTATION
2 Flutes (2nd alt. Piccolo)
2 Oboes
Clarinet in Bb
Bass Clarinet in Bb
2 Bassoons
2 Horns in F
2 Trumpets in C
Percussion (1 player)
Timpani
Tubular Bells
3 Crotales (C2, D2, E2)
Piano
Soprano solo
Strings
Score in C
• Piccolo, Crotales, and Double Bass sound in their respective octave transpositions.
Duration: 18 min
Commissioned by the Swedish Radio P2
World premiere 10 October 2024; Örebro Concert Hall, Örebro Johanna Wallroth, soprano
Swedish Chamber Orchestra, cond. Daniel Raiskin
ISMN 979-0-070-14715-6
Score: GE 14715 Study score: GE 14717 Parts available on hire
Copyright © 2024 Gehrmans Musikförlag AB, Stockholm
Stema Specialtryck, Borås DN/MM 2025