COVID-19: The New Normal by GEN-ZiNE

Volume 2. Issue 1

COVID-19: The New Normal

USC Edit Spring 2021

TABLE OF 7 8

A Letter from the Editor Numbers in the News

by Jack Bekos, layout by Daisy Bell

HOME-ophobia

The Disease within the Disease

Post-COVID University Life

Doing Nothing is Not Doing Nothing

Toxicity of Hustle Culture in a Global Pandemic

by Brandon Tam, layout by Brandon Tam

by Olivia Novato, layout by Daisy Bell

by Rachel Bernstein, layout by Sami deNicola

by Ceci Pou, layout by Sami deNicola

by Lauren Sundine, layout by Angelica Basilio

Tarot’s TikTok Takeover

The Year I Spent Healing

Little Fires Everywhere

Criminal Justice System & Covid

by Kenra Kalish, layout by Brandon Tam

by Zeynep Karaibrahim, layout by Sami deNicola

by Irish Padilla, layout by Brandon Tam

by Himani Pangal, layout by Daisy Bell

CONTENTS 34

Moving Forward in a Post-Trump America by Olivia Novato, layout by Sami deNicola

The Never Ending Cycle of Work

Romanticizing Climate Change in the Pandemic

by Sydney Fiorento, layout by Brandon Tam

by Shefali Murti, layout by Brandon Tam

Expressing Yourself, by Yourself: Creating Art in Isolation by Aimee Pham, layout by Angelica Basilio

Inside Out

Living a Life that Best Suits You: Parting Words from a (Not So Ready) Senior

by Alana MacMahon, layout by Brandon Tam

by Krystyn Byrd, layout by Sami deNicola

Disorderly Government: A Reflection on Immunocompromisation During the Pandamic by Daisy Bell, layout by Daisy Bell

The Societal Pressures of Revamping Yourself Admist a Global Pandemic by Ariana Wafer, layout by Daisy Bell

Afterword

COVID-19: The New Normal Spring 2021 Issue | USC Chapter

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hend. We’ve been inundated with statistics, and we’ve based our existence on them. From the once arbitrary but now universal six feet separator, to the unscientific notions of “I probably won’t get very sick,” the acceptance or rejection of these statistics has formed the basis of every individual’s decision-making process.

ever did I imagine the world would do so much counting. What started as case numbers soon morphed into percentages, mortality rates, feet apart, incubation times, days in quarantine, efficacy tables, probabilities, and ultimately, the number of people alive and dead. Are you as obsessed with the numbers as I am? I watched as the case curve rejected linearity and opted for exponential growth; as the confirmed hospitalizations reached 100, then 100,000; as the number of dead grew from a palatable number to one I could no longer compre-

And why wouldn’t it? In an era of such widespread uncertainty, it seems natural that we follow the numerical instructions that on their face are easy to comprehend. It is precisely for their facileness that these rules have become commonplace; if a child can follow social distancing guidelines, so can anyone else. Yet what about other numbers that are less easily understandable? Can enough Americans comprehend half a million dead? Or the exponential growth of a viral variant? What about viral reproduction

numbers, R0 and Re? The relevancy of these exact numerical indicators is besides the point, because we’ve become numb to numbers in general, and at a cost. The inundation of statistics has caused a paradoxical effect: nobody seems to care. As bodies pile up, America carries on: college students party in Mexico, Texas and Mississippi remove their mask mandates, and people debate not whether the pandemic is over but instead whether it even matters anymore. An interesting psychological phenomenon occurs in the human brain in response to mass casualty events. As the number of dead piles up in the tens and hundreds of thousands, it becomes difficult to focus on individual bodies. Humans are wired to empathize on a small, individual level. Psychologist David Ropeik states, “You and I relate much more powerfully to the reality of a single person than to the numbing faceless nameless lifeless

abstraction of numbers.” The implications of this statistical numbing are profound. Because the news and media sector brings us stories they know we’ll pay attention to, we by default are drawn to the stories of individuals rather than to the large numbers of sick and dying that continually flash across our screens. “Without visual, physical manifestations of death, the alarm bells in our heads fail to ring. Because we don’t see the deaths, we fail to see their connection to us—including our role in preventing their greater numbers” (Wan and Shammas). For this reason, many spring-breakers party on. They post indiscriminately on social media, ignoring available evidence that suggests, in fact, deaths remain staggeringly high, and viral variants threaten any recent progress. Their callousness and apathy is testament to what sociologists claim is a failure to understand who is actually dying. Americans of color

are being disproportionately ravaged by the virus, as are adults over the age of 65. Many outbreaks have occurred in nursing homes and prisons, far from the reach of enough American onlookers. The most depressing reality comes from the fact that young adults are most likely to spread the virus yet equally unlikely to suffer its worst consequences. Dear spring breakers, where is your empathy? Absolutely, a fundamental deficiency in our humanity is the fact that one death will almost always affect us more than a million. HopeDear spring breakers, where is your empathy? Absolutely, a fundamental deficiency in our humanity is the fact that one death will almost always affect us

more than a million. Hopefully, understanding this fact about ourselves might lead us to be more cognizant of our actions, and how they affect others. We are met with great hope a year into the pandemic, with a brightening light at the end of the tunnel. Yet as the news focuses less on the number of dead and more on the number of vaccinated, let us try and remember the pandemic is not nearly over. We need empathy. Without it, it will be impossible to persuade people to take the actions and make the sacrifices necessary to stem the surge of deaths. I implore you: let us all actively work to overcome complacency and fight our very human tendency to reduce numbers to nothingness. spread by Daisy Bell

Written By Brandon Tam

been the the easiest easiest transition transition for for some some of of us us Returning back home hasn’t been out there. At least least for for me, me, itit meant meant that that II had had to to go go back back to to living living in in aa house house that that rejected rejected my my At identit yy as as aa gay gay male. male. And And after af ter ttwo wo years years of of being being on on my my own own at at school school and and finding finding identit security in my own sexuality, itit feels feels like like I’m I’m slowly slowly creeping creeping back back into into the the dark dark closet closet that I was forced to live in during during my my earlier earlier years. years. So, So, II sit sit here here now, now, trying trying to to live live aa life that’s t h a t ’s no n o t t ru r uly ly me and w woonnddeerr:: H How o w ddoo we w e re reaalliiggnn ours o u rseellvveess wi w itthh bbeelliieefsf s lliike ke homophobia, opposing political political values, values, and and religion religion when when they they go go against against every every part part of our current identity? How does does itit feel feel to to return return to to an an Asian Asian household household as as aa gay gay man? man?

Summer After High School: Tinder Tinder Exposed Exposed In 2018, right before my freshman freshman year year at at USC, USC, My My parents parents found found out out that that II had had been been talking talking to to guys from Tinder, and after their discovery, discovery, II was was threatened threatened with with no no support support of of any any kind kind and and was was told that they wouldn’t send me me across across the the country country to to fall fall in in love love with with aa boy. boy. And And as as II tried tried so so parents, there there was was no no way way to to find find any any sympathy sympathy or or acceptance; acceptance; desperately to come out to my parents, that my my sexuality sexuality would would have have negative negative effects effects on on my my family family overoverrather, I was guilted into thinking that siblings would would get get bullied bullied because because they they had had aa gay gay brother. brother. That Thatmy my all. I was told that my younger siblings traditional conservative conservative beliefs, beliefs, as as most most Asian Asian ancestors ancestors do, do, would would never never grandmother who held traditional of my my sexuality. sexuality. That That being being gay gay was was aa selfish selfish choice choice II had had made made to to be able to see past the thought of had raised raised me. me. And And itit was was that that same same night night when when II decided decided to torepress repress inconvenience everyone who had living aa false false life life until until itit was was time time to to leave. leave. Even Even today, today,IIstruggle strugglewith with my own sexuality and identity, living because what what II had had gone gone through through traumatized traumatized me me and and the the way way II saw saw being open about this story because my own family.

“Building Your Your Brand” Brand” College: Experimentation & “Building got to to feel feel what what freedom freedom was was like like after after moving moving to to California California from from For the first time in 18 years, I got Maryland. Coming from a structured structured home home where where my my parents parents had had control control over over everything everythingII what activities activities II did did after after school, school, II never never really really got got to to experience experience the the did, from the classes I took to what have in in college. college. At At school, school, II was was allowed allowed to to experiment experiment and and see see kind of autonomy that I need to have what I liked, and did things that aligned aligned with with my my interests. interests. Back Back in in high high school, school, II always always thought thoughtmy my that II had had to to embody embody the the gay gay figure figure who who isis often often over over exaggerated exaggeratedinin identity as a gay man meant that flamboyant and and hyper hyper feminine feminine were were mannerisms mannerisms and and attitudes attitudes that that II the media. That being overly flamboyant had to mimic. But during my time as as USC, USC, II came came to to the the realization realization that that maybe maybe my my identity identity as as my attraction attraction to to men men and and shouldn’t shouldn’t change change the the way way II act. act. II had had aa a gay man is solely linked to my surrounded myself myself with with people people who who were were not not only only supportive supportive chance to date for the first time. I surrounded of my goals and aspirations, but but also also who who II was was as as aa person. person.

The Inevitable Return. When I first came back, due to the pandemic, my step dad asked me: “You know your mom and I still don’t know if you’re gay, right?” I was shocked because I thought we had left the issue back in 2018, but I had to lie to secure any safety for the duration of quarantine – and here we are, one year later. However, I began to wonder: Did they continue to love me after high school without any confirmation of my sexuality? What made my sexuality so important that it was still an issue two years later? And as time goes on, it feels like I am constantly counting the times in which I don’t feel safe or when I can’t be myself. The worry or concern of being “re-outed” began to bleed into other parts of my life that revolved around my identity as a gay male. When was it okay to talk to my boyfriend on the phone? What TV shows were acceptable to watch around my family? Should I open TikTok,knowing my For You Page was curated for those of the LGBTQ+ community? How do I continue to create art when my craft centers around my identity as a gay Asian male in a place that rebukes my sexuality? There was even a time during the elections when my mom questioned my support for the Democratic party, and while it was because I felt safer to have Joe Biden in office, there was no way to tell her that I felt like my rights would be threatened had I voted for the opposing party.

You’re Not Alone. As I write about this experience, in secrecy behind the closed doors of my room or even at work away from my family, I’m constantly reminded of how hard it is to express myself at home. It’s not easy, having to live with attitudes that go against my identity. It’s been troubling me ever since moving back because I had spent t he l a s t t w o y e a r s o f m y l i f e c o n s t r u c t i n g t h e p e r s o n I a m t o d a y. A n d a f t e r f i n d i n g s e c u r i t y a n d p e a c e w i t h w h o I ’v e b e c o m e , s o m e t h i n g t h a t w a s n ’t achievable during my high school years, it feels like all of that progress is slowly vanishing. For me, living at home is not just pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s changing your mannerisms, the clothes you wear, the tone of your voice, and even the way you carry yourself. It’s faking interests and it’s really thinking before you speak so that you don’t accidentally out yourself. It’s essentially going back into “the closet” in hopes that the taste of freedom you once had will come back soon. I know that I’m not the only one in this situation and that there are other people in the LGBTQ+ community who may have it harder than I do. Yet I hope that these words and this story gives some sort of relatability to those out there who also may be struggling with going back to a home that does not accept their true self. You are not alone.

1012

FEEL URSELF BAD B*TCH

BE LOUD BE YOU 11

written by Olivia Novato

n the past year, I’ve done a lot of thinking. And staring. Staring at old memories on my phone, staring at the influencers on my feed, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Quickly, this unrestricted staring evolved into constant comparison between myself and the complete strangers that popped up on my TikTok feed, my

peers, and especially the present-day version of myself and my pre-COVID self. At the start of the pandemic, when things were still “unprecedented” and everyone was stuck inside baking bread and making whipped coffee, I felt the thoughts

creeping in. Don’t let yourself go. Use this time to better yourself. And what ever you do, don’t gain weight. But I tried to push past them. For those first few in weeks in March I told myself that it was okay. I was mourning the loss of normalcy, of my sophomore year, of the life I had known. It was fine to seek comfort in a late night bowl of cereal or a slice of pizza, even if the voice inside my head was screaming that I needed to go for a run the next morning. As someone who has struggled with body image and an eating disorder for much of her young adult life, this pandemic was a recipe for disaster. Going from working out everyday to being stuck inside with minimal motivation to get out of bed was a shock. Factor in the constant stream of media that I was ingesting on Instagram and TikTok, and before I knew it, I was back in the dark place I had spent the previous semester trying to escape -- all I could think about was what I ate, how I looked and if I had worked out that day. While half of the Internet seemed to be praising comfort foods, snacking and giving your body the necessary grace for making it through the pandemic, the other side seemed to yell louder. Countless at home workouts and “What I Eat in A Day” videos populated my feed and the fear of gaining the “quarantine 15” was almost palpable through my screen.

we can just turn off when we’re tired of it. It’s everywhere, and it sucks. In a world where how you look is often prioritized over who you are, it’s difficult to escape negative body image, especially during a time where we stare at ourselves on a screen for 8 hours a day. We spend the day staring at our peers’ faces while picking apart our own. The media never seems to stop either, reminding us that we could always be dropping sizes and coming out of quarantine a lighter, toned version of ourselves. This constant pressure to better myself, to keep my weight in check, to not let my body reflect the insecurities of living through a global crisis is suffocating. And I’m not alone in this. From binge eating to calorie restricting, the pandemic has exacerbated many people’s pre-existing eating disorders, while also negatively impacting those who previously felt secure in their body image. Last summer, the International Journal of Eating Disorders released results of a survey which found that 62% of Americans with anorexia experienced a worsening of symptoms following the start of the pandemic. Similarly, nearly a third of people with binge-eating disorder experienced

*63%

My FYP —which is annoyingly and freakishly accurate in its catering —became a breeding ground for diet culture. Video by video, fitness influencers released their quarantine workout routines and girls flaunted their pandemic glow-ups. *the percentage of Americance w/ worsening anorexia sincat start of pandemic

But this toxic culture isn’t only found online. It isn’t something we can just turn off when we’re tired of it. It’s everywhere,

third of people with binge-eating disorder experienced a rise in their binge episodes. This rise isn’t surprising. Food can be a coping mechanism for many people. In a time of heightened anxiety and stress, food is one of the only things we can control, whether that be how little or how much we consume. Now this is an uncomfortable topic, trust me I understand. It can be hard to look in the mirror and say “I have a problem” or openly confide in a friend. Even this is hard for me to write. It’s hard to come to terms with changes in our bodies or changes in our mental health. Paradoxically, it’s harder to overcome diet culture’s hold on us, even as we live in a society that is slowly more and more accepting of all body types. and it sucks. In a world where how you look is often prioritized over who you are, it’s difficult to escape negative body image, especially during a time where we stare at ourselves on a screen for 8 hours a day. We spend the day staring at our peers’ faces while picking apart our own. The media never seems to stop either, reminding us that we could always be dropping sizes and coming out of quarantine a lighter, toned version of ourselves. This constant pressure to better myself, to keep my weight in check, to not let my body reflect the insecurities of living through a global crisis is suffocating. And I’m not alone in this. From binge eating to calorie restricting, the pandemic has exacerbated many people’s pre-existing eating disorders, while also negatively impacting those who previously felt secure in their body image. Last summer, the International Journal of Eating Disorders released results of a survey which found that 62% of Americans with anorexia experienced a worsening of symptoms following the start of the pandemic. Similarly, nearly a

As I sit here trying to put into words this never ending cycle of self-love and self-doubt, an analogy comes to mind. The way I see it, finding the best version of yourself while battling toxic diet culture is similar to a pendulum. Some days I swing too far in the direction of diet culture, obsessing over eating “clean” and basing my success for the day on whether I closed all of the rings on my Apple Watch. After a while in this headspace, I hit the extreme —a place of sadness and shame and guilt. Soon, I swing back into a more intuitive state, a refuge from the fear of “bad workouts” and overeating where I try to enjoy life without worry. But just as quickly as things can get good, they can go bad. So where does this analogy leave things? Well, I don’t really know. I don’t have the answers, nor do I have the ability to snap my fingers and make it all go away. All the fear, all the tears, all the inadequacy and time spent obsessing over caloric deficits and what to eat. Oh if I could, I would. Naturally, there are days that are easier than others.

Sometimes it feels like everything is falling into place —I remember that my self-worth is in no way linked to an arbitrary benchmark set by society —and I can love my body for what it is. Other days it feels like I’m teetering on the edge. Like one comment, one comparison, one unflattering glance in the mirror will set me off on another spiral. That is okay. This is normal. It’s going to take a long time to repair the hurt caused by years of negative thoughts and behaviors. Unlearning diet culture and learning to put value in being happy and healthy is a long road. And progress isn’t always linear. I continue taking care of myself, but because I want to, because it makes me happy. Not because diet culture tells me I need to do so in order to enjoy my life or to leave quarantine skinnier than I came in. Some days taking care of myself means going for a hike and drinking green smoothies, but other days it just means going out for ice cream with my best friend and taking the day off. This is a global pandemic. Our bodies are exercising their most important function in keeping us safe. Let’s honor them, let’s celebrate them. I just have to keep trying and so do you.

spread by Daisy Bell

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mh bg ^Z\a \eZll' AZg` hnm Zm ma^ eb[kZkr' @h mh Z lihkml `Zf^ hg \Zfinl' Lmn]r Z[khZ]' Lh\bZebs^ Zg] g^mphkd' ;^\hf^ bgoheo^] pbma \en[l hg \Zfinl' PZed ahf^ pbma lhf^hg^ lh rhn \Zg `^m mh dghp ma^f [^mm^k' Ahpô^k% pa^g rhn k^ `hbg` mh \eZll^l ]nkbg` Z phke]pb]^ iZg]^fb\ Zg] mZdbg` \eZll^l _khf rhnk mhh&[en^ \abe]ahh] [^]khhf% rhn \Zg m ^qZ\mer a^^] maZm Z]ob\^' Bm l h[lhe^m^' I^klhg& Zeer% B f lb\d h_ mabgdbg` Z[hnm ma^ \hgmbgnZmbhg h_ l\ahhe hgebg^' B f lb\d h_ ma^ a^Z]Z\a^l Zg] [Z\dZ\a^l Zg] ma^ phk]l ngik^\^]^gm^] mbf^l' Lh% e^m l mZed Z[hnm paZm ngbo^klbmr pbee ehhd ebd^ g^qm l^f^lm^k' Mh [^`bg pbma% ma^k^ pbee gh ehg`^k [^ Z l^m b]^Z h_ paZm rhnk ngbo^klbmr ^qi^kb^g\^ lahne] ehhd ebd^' :g ^gmbk^ `khni h_ \nkk^gm lmn]^gml ehlm hnm hg paZm bl ^qi^\m^] pa^g l^mmbg` Zlb]^ _hnk r^Zkl h_ ma^bk eb_^' Lmn]r Z[khZ]l p^k^ laêo^] Zg] ô^gml p^k^ ihlmihg^] Zg] ma^g ô^gmnZeer \Zg\êe^]' Ma^k^ bl Z \^kmZbg lhkm h_ ]blmknlm Zg] \rgb\blf Zfhg` ma^l^ lmn]^gml maZm ngbo^klbmr Z]fbgblmkZmhkl pbee g^^] mh k^\h`gbs^

bg hk]^k mh fho^ _hkpZk]' Ahp \Zg lhf^hg^ \hgmbgn^ mh ^qi^\m ma^ lZf^ mabg` Z_m^k bm pZl lpb_mer mZd^g ZpZr _khf ma^f8 I^hie^ p^k^ mhe] mh iZ\d ni pabe^ hg lmn]r Z[khZ] bg pbgm^k 2020 and students left dorm rooms that were untouched for months. ;nm [^_hk^ maZm% ma^ ihlbmbo^l h_ hgebg^ ^]n\Z& mbhg g^^] mh [^ l^^g' ?hk lhf^% mabl bl Z fhk^ Z\\^llb[e^ o^klbhg h_ e^Zkgbg`' Lmn]^gml lahne] ghm g^^] mh `h mh l\ahhe pa^g ma^r Zk^ lb\d&& ô^g ma^ \hffhg \he]' Ma^k^ bl Z k^Zlhg maZm \Zfinl^l Zk^ i^mkb ]bla^l' :\\^llb[bebmr lahne] [^ lhf^mabg` maZm bl Z _h\nl h_ ma^ ngbo^klbmr ^qi^kb^g\^ `hbg` _hkpZk]' Bm l aZk] _hk i^h& ie^ pbma \akhgb\ beeg^ll^l mh Zmm^g] \eZll pa^g maZm bl lbfier ghm Zg himbhg ]n^ mh Z \hg]bmbhg' Hgebg^ ^]n\Zmbhg mZd^l ZpZr ma^ hg\^&mrib\Ze \eZllkhhf ^qi^kb^g\^ Zg] mZbehkl bm mh Ûm lmn& ]^gml' M^\agheh`r lahne] [^ ob^p^] Zl Z mhhe Zg] ghm Z abg]kZg\^ hg ma^ iZma mh Z ]^`k^^' <hee^`^ pbee Zelh ehhd ]b__^k^gm [^rhg] <HOB=&*2 [^\Znl^ lmn]^gml lbfier dghp fhk^ Z[hnm ma^flêo^l' Mabl bl mkn^ ô^g _hk ma^ ê^& f^gmZkr lmn]^gml h_ mh]Zr' Ma^ iZg]^fb\ aZl _hk\^] lmn]^gml mh mabgd Z[hnm ahp ma^r hi^k&

“

maZm rhn Zk^% bg _Z\m% Zg ^qmkho^km Zg] kêbZgm hg \aZmm^k' Ma^l^ mhhel pbee aêi mh ikhiê lmn& ]^gml ]nkbg` ma^ ch[ l^Zk\a Zg] makhnàhnm ma^ k^fZbgbg` ihlm&iZg]^fb\ l^f^lm^kl' Dghp& bg` ahp rhn phkd [^lm bl \kn\bZe ]nkbg` ^Zker Z]nemahh]' Lmn]^gml mh]Zr cnlm `hm mh e^Zkg bm ^Zkeb^k maZg fhlm' Ma^k^ Zk^ lhf^ mabg`l maZm ngbo^klbmr Z]fbgbl& mkZmhkl Zg] _Z\nemr lahne] mZd^ mh a^Zkm Zl mabl iZg]^fb\ kZ`^l hg3 ghg^ h_ mabl aZl [^^g ghk& fZe' Bg _Z\m% lbg\^ FZk\a +)+) bg ma^ Ngbm^] LmZm^l% \hee^`^ aZl [^^g ^qZ\mer ma^ Zgmbma^lbl h_ paZm \hee^`^ lahne] [^' P^ ]hg m dghp ahp fZgr lmn]^gml ehlm ma^bk pZr ]nkbg` mabl mbf^% aZ] mh mZd^ ch[l Zg] e^Zo^ ngbo^klbmr bg hk]^k mh lniihkm ma^bk _Zfber% Zg] ihm^gmbZe lmn]^gml who abandoned the prospect because of the iZg]^fb\' Ma^ f^gmZe a^Zema mhee hnàm mh [^ k^\h`gbs^] Zg] k^f^]b^] bg ma^ \hfbg` l^f^l& m^kl' Ma^k^ Zk^ Zelh Zli^\ml h_ ma^ ngbo^klbmr ^qi^kb^g\^ maZm \Zg Zg] lahne] [^ e^_m bg ma^ ]nlm h_ <HOB=' Ahi^_neer% Z_m^k ma^ iZg]^fb\% ma^ b]^Z h_ Z \hhdb^&\nmm^k ngbo^klbmr ^qi^kb^g\^ pbee [^ Z[Zg]hg^]' >o^krhg^ mZd^l Z ]b__^k^gm iZma

C O L L E G E W I L L A LS O L O O K D I F F E R E N T B E YO N D C OV I D -1 9

B E CA U S E ST U D E N TS S I M P LY K N OW M O R E A B O U T T H E M S E LV E S . Zm^ Zg] ahp ma^r phkd [^lm' :_m^k ma^ Û_ma f^g& mZe [k^Zd]hpg h_ Z iZg]^fb\ l^f^lm^k% rhn o^ e^Zkg^] jnbm^ Z [bm' FZr[^ rhn ebd^] [^bg` ahf^ Zg] li^g]bg` ^qmkZ mbf^ pbma rhnk _Zfber [n[[e^% Zg] fZr[^ rhn e^Zkgm maZm rhn g^^] Z lhnk]hn`a hk [ZgZgZ [k^Z] [k^Zd Z_m^k ma^ mabk] ahnk h_ Z shhf \eZll' FZr[^ rhn e^Zkg^]

“

Zg] gh hg^ bg ma^ <HOB=&\hahkm ^qi^kb^g\^] these past couple of semesters the same way. Ma^k^ bl lh fn\a mh ehhd _hkpZk] mh bg ma^ _nmnk^ h_ ab`a^k ^]n\Zmbhg Zg] hg^ \Zg hger ahi^ maZm ma^k^ aZo^ [^^g e^llhgl e^Zkg^] _khf mabl ^qi^kb^g\^' B o^ e^Zkg^] maZm [en^ pZeel cnlm fZd^ rhn lmZg] hnm hg Z Shhf l\k^^g'

Doing Nothing is Not Doing Nothing

Written by 20

Ceci Pou

For many, doing nothing is considered an instinctual task, accomplished with no effort. However, in today’s modern attention economy- where being glued to a smartphone is considered the norm- doing nothing is not instinctual nor is it effortless. I struggle to do nothing every day.

do. When your professional and academic obligations come to a close. When your eyes become strained from staring at a screen. When your brain is exhausted from work. That is when I began to allow my mind to fully wander.

Prior to quarantine, this was not an issue which I dwelled on. I carelessly floated from social gathering to professional engagement to a barrage of errands. Even when I was alone, when I was walking from my apartment to campus or cooking dinner, I would put on a podcast, watch a show or call a friend. It was almost likely I was so intent on drowning out every possible moment where I could stop and think critically.

Why was I so intent on getting an internship in that field? Was I influenced by my own passion or the desires of my parents or influenced by my classmates? Why was I drawn to pursuing a relationship with this person? Was it because they genuinely added value to my life, or was I mainly driven by shallow considerations? Why am I so fixated on my physical health? Is it stemming from a positive desire to take care of myself, or rather from a toxic, controlling place?

The pandemic was a rude awakening. Gone were the constant social interactions and in-person obligations. In its place was a largely isolated period of ~8 months, where the hum of the previously chaotic- but invigorating- “normal” world was replaced by quiet nights at home and a persistent sense of boredom.

Doing nothing is a gift. A gift that took me a while to see the value in. Not only does doing nothing allow your brain a crucial break from the constant stimulation of our attention economy- the breaking news, the lit up screen, the ping from a notification- but it also serves a critical time for reflection.

At first, I tried to fight it. Like many others, I fell into the productivity trap of early quarantine. I organized my closet, applied for virtual internships, listed my clothes on Poshmark, and attempted to get as fit as physically possible.

Time to reflect on your emotions. What brought my joy this week? What triggered me this week? Why? Time to reflect on the quality of your relationships. Am I giving more than I am getting in this relationship? What are aspects of this relationship I wish to change? How can I This was a coping mechanism. A temporary bandage to vocalize that? Time to recognize small details in your life address the larger problem: the anxiety which came from and make gratitude second nature. What was something both the vast uncertainty of the pandemic, but also just small I noticed today that made my day brighter? How the overall confusion and chaos of life as an individual in has someone positively contributed to me today? Time to today’s modern world. learn more about yourself, become more present in your daily life and get off of autopilot. Unable, or perhaps unwilling, to truly let my mind wander, I was living life in essentially autopilot. I followed a Doing nothing is undoubtedly uncomfortable and that schedule, completed assignments, made social plans, all is perhaps why modern young adults struggle to do it. without ever stopping to question the basis behind the Distraction is easier. It allows you to avoid seeing truths decisions which I was making. which you would prefer to remain oblivious to. It allows you to avoid making changes in your life, even if they are I was an addict. I was addicted to being distracted. And necessary. I largely remained oblivious to my addiction until the realities of quarantine- and the vast behavioral shift which Doing nothing is not doing nothing. Arguably, it is the came with it- forced me to confront the toxic way I was most productive and crucial practice to implement in living my life previously. your life in order to grow into the most self actualized version of yourself. It started with little moments. That period of time from 4pm to 6pm in quarantine when there is absolutely nothing to Take time to do nothing today.

toxicity of

HUSTLE BY LAUREN SUNDINE Junior year was full of prospects in terms of the workforce. After turning in all my assignments and attending club meetings, I would probably spend the last 2-3 hours of my day on LinkedIn.

i^klblm _khf \eZll mh \eZll% [nm ô^g Zm ô^gml ebd^ frat parties. I felt the need to introduce myself pbma Zg êôZmhk ibm\a Zl b_ B pZl bgm^kob^pbg` Zm Z ?hkmng^ .)) \hfiZgr'

I would spend countless hours “curating” my feed. ;nm maZm l cnlm ahp bm pZl' Fr i^^kl Zkhng] f^ These curation methods included adding people l^^f^] mh [^ ]hbg` Ûg^ Zg] B cnlm \hgmbgn^] mh B o^ f^m bg iZllbg` bg ahi^l h_ k^Z\abg` .))$ `h Zehg` pbma bm [^\Znl^ maZm l Zee B dg^p' connections, commenting “congratulations” and other sweet nothings on posts, and watching an ^g]e^ll Zfhngm h_ RhnMn[^ ob]^hl hg ahp mh make the best LinkedIn summary. I had become so accustomed to hustle culture But mainly I found myself engaging with LinkedIn that materialized into career fairs, reception dinlike it was another social media app. Instead of g^kl% Zg] `n^lm li^Zd^k ô^gml% maZm B Zllnf^] lmk^llbg` ho^k aZobg` Z \ha^k^gm ma^f^ Zg] ma^ hg\^ ô^krmabg` p^gm hgebg^% maZm \nemnk^ phne] perfect caption to match as I did on Instagram, I ô^gmnZeer _Z]^ ZpZr'

And then the pandemic struck.

pZl \k^Zmbg` ihlml Z[hnm fZqbfbsbg` ikh]n\mbobBut boy was I wrong. It only got worse. ty and attaching a high-quality headshot. Colleges are notorious for perpetuating a toxic hustle culture, but for some reason this culture _^^el fZ`gbÛ^] Zm NL<' B ]hg m dghp b_ bm bl ma^ ^qm^glbo^ Zenfgb g^mphkd% hk ma^ **'- Z\\^itance rate, but the second I got to campus I felt an immense pressure to “perform.”

Despite the lack of physical presence, hustle culmnk^ pZl lmbee o^kr fn\a Z _hk\^ mh [^ k^\dhg^] pbma' L^^fbgèr% Zl Z pZr mh ho^k \hfi^glZm^ _hk ma^ eZ\d h_ iarlb\Ze ô^gml% ma^ g^^] mh kbl^ Zg] `kbg] [^\Zf^ ô^g fhk^ i^klblm^gm bg Z obkmnZe ^gobkhgf^gm'

From that point on, I was entrenched in the “work Any inkling of an opportunity was stripped from hard, play harder” mentality. Not only would it ch[ [hZk]l' Lmn]^gml [^\Zf^ ]^li^kZm^ Zl ma^ prospect of an internship, and in turn a stable

CULTURE

in the midst of a pandemic

start to their careers, slowly began to slip through ma^bk Ûg`^kl' B k^Zebs^] B pZl !Zg] lmbee Zf" fhnkging the loss of opportunity in the midst of a hustle culture. Ahpô^k% ô^g bg ma^ fb]lm h_ Z èh[Ze \kblbl% i^hie^ l^^fbgèr dîm `hbg`' :m Ûklm% B ehhd^] Zm mabl persistence with admiration but this admiration jnb\der mnkg^] mh iZgb\' B \hne]g m ng]^klmZg] how students and graduates were still managing mh eZg] ch[l Zfb]lm ma^ <HOB=&*2 iZg]^fb\% Zg] the lack of experience on my resume only exac^k[Zm^] fr eZ\d h_ \hgÛ]^g\^' Lh B ]b] ma^ hger thing I knew how to do, I kept “grinding.” With each application I turned in I felt a part of fr lhne ]b^' =kZfZmb\% B dghp% [nm bm l ma^ mknma' B knew that an internship was necessary because from the second I started college, I was told that it was part of my marketability, and in turn, my self worth. In addition to boosting my marketability, I also so desperately longed to create some sense of normalcy amidst all of the chaos.

was the destiny instilled in me. what I was supihl^] mh ]h' B pZl mhe] maZm bm l paZm B lahne] pZgm' Fr ikhÛe^ pZl Z _Z\Z]^ h_ ikh_^llbhgZeblf and accolades that had nothing to do with my pZgml% ]k^Zfl hk ]^lbk^l' Bm pZl Z ikhc^\mbhg h_ ma^ ^gobkhgf^gm B pZl lnkkhng]^] pbma' :g] Zl ]b_Û\nem Zl ma^ iZg]^fb\ pZl hg ô^krhg^ !Zg] ma^k^ bl gh ]^grbg` maZm"% B ]b] Ziik^\bZm^ ma^ space to breathe. Pbma lhf^ liZ\^ mh ÛgZeer [k^Zma^ Zg] kîkbhkbtize the things that mattered to me, and I realized that I was becoming another complicit fragment of the toxicity of hustle culture. I felt as if I was cnlm Z]]bg` _nê mh ma^ Ûk^'

Now I ask, is hustle culture an all around bad mabg`8 Gh' Bm aZl ]^Ûgbmêr fZ]^ f^ fhk^ k^lbeient. It has allowed me to surround myself with i^hie^ pah laZk^ lbfbeZk `hZel mh f^% Zg] aZo^ Z aZk] phkd ^mab\ [hma mabg`l maZm B Ûg] mh [^ o^kr bglibkbg` mh pbmg^ll' Ahpô^k% B ]h mabgd that hustle culture has the power to do more harm than good. Rather than the typical response of I felt constant pressure to compromise my own [^`kn]`bg` iZkmb\biZmbhg% B [êbô^ ma^ ^qaZnlwell being due to the external pressures being mbo^ ^__^\ml h_ anlme^ \nemnk^ g^^] mh [^ lihd^g forced upon me from the hustle culture that I was about in a much more candid and open way. bgm^kgZebsbg`' B cnlm pZgm^] Z [b` bgm^kglabi Zm Z big company because up until that point, that

Tarot’s TikTok Takeover Written By Kendra Kalish

How Tik Tok led to the rise of Tarot as a trend, and increased spirituality among users and points to the intersection of social media and spirituality.

Heartbroken and hoping to quell his looming a n x i e t y t h a t he w o u l d n e v e r l o v e a g a i n , B ra n d o n To b i a s a r r i v e d a t Th u n d e r b o l t Spiritual Books, a boutique for all-thingsspiritual in Downtown Santa Monica. Armed with $20 to buy his first tarot deck, the 29-yearold ex-collegiate football player entered the crowded shop and sidestepped his way to a wall of about 15 tarot decks. Looming over the collection, Tobias stretched out his arms and waited patiently for his spirit guides to guide him to the right deck. A magnetizing force took control of his hand, and Tobias reached for a deck adorned with royal icons. Ducking out of the shop and into the Santa Monica sun, Tobias remained completely unsuspecting of how this purchase would overhaul his life in the years to come. Like pendulums and tea leaves, tarot decks are divination methods that connect a reader with a higher power. A typical deck is comparable in composition to playing cards, but instead of kings, queens, jacks, and spades, tarot cards feature wands, swords, pentacles, and cups. In a traditional card pull, a reader shuffles their deck, tunes into a frequency, and lays cards out in a precise form to determine a meaning. “Learning tarot is one of the most daunting tasks I’ve had as a psychic. To learn, a reader has to understand the upright and downright meaning of all 78 cards. Plus, the meanings change when certain cards are pulled together,” said Ambre Janie, an long-time intuit from Los Angeles. Af ter practicing for t wo years, Tobias felt prepared to share his spiritual messages with the l a rg e s t a u d i e n c e h e c o u l d t h i n k o f — t h e internet. While still working a full-time job, Tobias invested every moment of his free time in creating a Youtube channel where he posted readings. He found fulfillment in sharing his

work, but knew he had the potential and skill to reach a larger audience. As his frustrations with Youtube grew, TikTok captured the world’s at tention. Much like his experience in the Th u n d e r b o l t S p i r i t u a l B o o k s , To b i a s f e l t magnetized to the platform and created an account, sure that he was embarking on the next chapter in his journey. Now embracing his role as a spiritual consultant, Tobias still occasionally uses the deck from Thunderbolt Spiritual Books to film videos for his 54,600 TikTok followers. Tobias amassed this following in just over 100 days, and while this might seem like the work of divine intervention, many tarot readers experienced the same quick trip to fame on TikTok. The hashtag #tarot has garnered 5.5 billion views on TikTok, and some tarot readings receive millions of likes. On their most popular videos, tarot readers can expect about 50,000 comments, almost all of which are viewers manifesting the message into reality. Like every niche on TikTok, not all tarot videos are the same. Some readers, like Tobias, pull c a rd s a n d o f f e r g e n e ra l g u i d a n c e . O t he r readers prompt users to pick a tarot card, then predict the appearance of a user’s soulmate based on their choice. “I feel like Tik Tok is a very spiritual app because everyone has an equal opportunity to be seen,” said Hae Jun, a popular intuitive coach on Tik Tok. TikTok’s algorithm curates a feed of videos that freakishly align to a user’s preferences. Unlike Instagram and Twitter users, TikTokers often let the algorithm take the wheel and relinquish control over the content they see. This feature exposes users to a wide range of content and

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The Year I Spent Healing Written By Zeynep Karaibrahim

For those suffering from chronic mental illness, the pandemic was the first time the outer world collectively matched the inner––which offered a special opportunity to heal.

I preferred to spend most of my time alone. When friends came by, the world fell apart in its usual way. I was lost in their conversations.

drank my tears. No one saw. My plants died from a lack of love. I made a list of things I noticed the absence of: good news,

People tend to have faith that a brief moment of conformity is enough to fix their flaws without realizing the years of loss that went into making them; whole lifetimes are spent ignoring the fact your mind is not your body.

familiar names, the sun in the suburbs, meeting people that complicated my unremarkable life. My father just called, he mentioned something about new beginnings. (Each month left an inconsolable space; I imagine sometimes we're

In the beginning of the COVID crisis, I devised my own time system: how many assignments I've

still in that space.) Going out into the world became a matter of

missed, how many phone calls I've ignored, how many days I don't speak. Heaven must have been the beach in September. I sat on the floor of my empty apartment one night. The sun began

sustaining non-mutual conversations. My friends were living new lives and I always had a way of reminding them how miserable we were. The reality of being born in one place and dying in an-

rising. I'm not sure what I was thinking about. It wasn't sadness, the fragility of the world went

other can be consuming for certain personalities. I was the most alone after seven months. Every

much deeper than my routine depression. One month in, I wanted to spend most of my time asleep.

misunderstanding deepened my solitude. People seemed too comfortable in the world. I suppose they always did. I spent the rest of the

Six years before the pandemic, I had for the first time what would eventually become known

pandemic sitting with my fear of others. It was an uneventful time. I cried. I stared at the ceiling for

to me as a depressive episode. I needed to tell my father I've failed an exam. My mother served us dinner. I ate slowly and stared at my plate as

hours. I fell asleep under my bed. The news was on 24/7. My life took on a new form. (What I'm trying to say is--at some point my fear was lost

if it would tell me all of the things I would have needed to get out of there. 'Do you even know what we lost to bring you here?' I almost never got out of bed. My mother prayed for months. I

and now I am whoever I am today.) Time feels liquid. The sun rises as soon as it can. In the end, we will uncreate new disasters. The world knows the road to healing, you don't.

Little Fires Everywhere: COVID-19 & Its Unprecendented Effects on Race Written By Irish Padilla When there’s smoke, there’s a fire that follows. In the height of a national health crisis, hate crimes against Asian Americans have surged in proportion.

When people’s preconceived notions are easier than confronting the unknown, people tend to fall into dangerous habits of blame. This year we faced two pandemics: xenophobia and COVID-19. While xenophobia has long existed before the pandemic, as a community we still struggle to find long lasting solutions. In consequence, the height of a national health crisis has prompted the surge of hate crimes against the Asian community. The recent outpour of violence against Asian Americans has become a global health crisis in and of itself. According to data compiled by California State University’s Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism, there were 122 incidents of anti-Asian American hate crimes in 16 of the country’s most populous cities in 2020. Phrases like “Go back to your country” and the coined term “Chinese virus” do not fall deaf onto immigrant ears. Yet, political institutions and media outlets are devastatingly quiet until it’s too late. While scapegoating is no stranger to catastrophic events that have transpired in this country, it does not and should not have to be left unaddressed. “Asian voices feel drowned out in the chaos of it all, and I have never felt more overlooked or unimportant,” said Francesca Pangilinan, Filipino American. “No one feels responsible for patching up the racial divide that is so deeply ingrained in this country and all of us are left to deal with the space.” The historical struggles that Asian Americans face are multifaceted and complicated and the solutions to bridging that gap are too. The new normal that COVID-19 has brought to the forefront has created a reinvigorated conviction to make meaningful change within our communities. “People overlook the power of a simple conversation. The things that have been happening within

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our community are not talked about enough,” said Pangilinan. “ To be honest, there isn’t much Asian representation in America. When there’s little to no Asian representation in politics or even Hollywood, how can we expect for others to understand our narrative and our stories? Things like this aren’t talked about enough and they should be.” Observing how people indulge in Asian culture, entertainment and cuisine is traumatizing when your peers are silent. Why does the burden of alleviating racial tension against targeted minority groups always lie on the marginalized? This isn’t the only problem that seems to arise. While it is true that Asian Americans do not experience the same sociopolitical structures or barriers that Black or Latino communities have faced, the same invisibility they have also conceals many of the injustices that they endure today. Due to harmful stereotypes of the model minority myth, Asians often occupy a unique status within the racial scope. In the midst of reckoning with COVID-19, it’s glaringly clear that the model minority myth instead places blame on other disenfranchised ethnic minorities for their struggle and belittles the communities’ want for change. The model minority myth asserts that assimilation is better. Obedience is better. Silence is better. But, Generation Z has no plans on being merely whispers of change. They demand to be agents of change. “Being of mixed race is this interesting dichotomy of not being Asian enough, but not being white enough either. Yet, I still recognize my privilege as being white passing,” said Sally Rakestraw, a junior at USC. “It’s easy to disregard the implicit biases we have in ourselves and our inner circles, but this isn’t the moment to turn blind to the white privilege and nationalism that is rampant within this country.” This new normal that we are stepping foot into post-COVID will not be comfortable, but it’s necessary. Change is never easy. The public health and safety threat that the Asian American community faces today are rooted in systemic problems. Tangible and lasting change will not happen overnight. While open dialogue is necessary to incite change, it isn’t enough to fix generations of systemic racism that is continued to be highlighted throughout this pandemic. If we want to incite change, there must be significant efforts from intersectional communities to tackle this ongoing public safety threat. Our new normal shouldn’t revert back to the partition that divides our communities apart. As a community, we realize that there is no simple solution to stopping the xenophobic attacks on the Asian community. The objective is to instead raise awareness, maintain solidarity and protect our elders by combatting overlooked crimes. The fires that this pandemic has sparked will not be put out for a while, but the smoke is here and we are left to deal with the ash that has settled. These little fires everywhere teach us that “Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground, and start over. After the burning the soil is richer, and new things can grow. People are like that, too. They start over. They find a way”- Celeste Ng, Little Fires Everywhere. So burn it all down, let the ashes fall and let’s build something better.

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Please. 3030

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criminal justice system & covid 32

383,754

cases. 383,754 people have tested positive for COVID-19. Who are these people? Prisoners. The United States is known for its high rates of incarceration, specifically among the Black community. With this, there have been no measures taken to ensure the safety of its prisoners. California’s prison system alone has suffered a massive surge, with more than 160 deaths and very little room for social distancing. The National Commission on COVID-19 and Criminal Justice highlighted that the prisons’ death rates doubled those of the general population. With the lack of safety habits and facilities, these prisoners are essentially left to rot and fend for

themselves in the struggle to survive an already twisted fate. Long lines to make phone calls and cramped cell rooms force prisoners to choose between their health and survival. Christopher Blackwell, who wrote “In Prison, Even Social Distancing Rules Get Weaponized” discusses how the threat of solitary confinement has led to the dismissal of prisoners’ problems and, in return, abuse of power from authorities. He notes how many prisoners are scared to question the new COVID guidelines due to the fear that they will be put in solitary confinement. One prisoner stated that he felt these measures, which are in place to protect him, nearly hurt him. Many government figures have taken matters into their own hands and reduced the jail population. A California judge had reduced the jail population by 50% in Orange County when the American Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit.

Governor of New Jersey, Phil Murphy, signed a bill late October that allowed inmates that had less than a year left in their sentence to be released early. In Cleveland, Ohio, a jail announced in November that they would stop admitting people on misdemeanor charges. With the new vaccine rolling in, 40 states are considering incarcerated people as a priority group. This news troubles many people, as they feel it is “unfair” that those who commit crimes are more worthy of the vaccine than law-abiding citizens. Here’s my take on this issue. It’s easy to cast a mean glare on problems that don’t personally affect us. To some, the actions of incarcerated people have cast a blanket of doubt and have led to prisoners’ ostracization from society. We need to remember that every inmate in those prisons is a father, brother, sister, mother, daughter,

son, and friend. That little girl who goes to visit her daddy on weekends as he serves jail time may never get to if he’s infected with this disease. While some of those incarcerated deserve the time they get, these inmates already had a lousy spoon handed to them. They barely get to see their loved ones as it is, and now, they may never get to have those five minutes with their child or sibling. Not to mention, inmates in juvenile detention centers are children who want to be comforted by their loved ones, but because of the pandemic they can’t be. Those who are incarcerated are still human, wishing they could have another chance at life but sadly are dismissed. spread by Daisy Bell

Moving Forward In A

Post-Trump America Written By Olivia Novato Here we are, months into the presidency of Joe Biden and the name Donald Trump seems like a reminder of a far-off moment in time, full of Twitter tirades and constitutional underminings. But is it really that distant from where we are now? Of course not. Yes, January 20th marked the end of Trump’s four-year rollercoaster and set in motion a self-proclaimed “new” era of American politics, but it’s naive to assume that all of our nation’s problems miraculously disappeared when Biden took office. Just because he is more experienced and levelheaded than his predecessor, doesn’t mean that he works beyond the reach of vigilance, exempt from any accountability. While the President finally feels like that -- a real President -- a world of arduous work, of the fight towards progress, lies ahead of us. Biden was not most people’s first choice, he was the only available option to remove Trump. And now that he’s gone, the same scrutiny that was once given to 45 must transfer to the current administration.

Here we are, months into the presidency of Joe Biden and the name Donald Trump seems like a reminder of a far-off moment in time, full of Twitter tirades and constitutional underminings. But is it really that distant from where we are now? Of course not. Yes, January 20th marked the end of Trump’s four-year rollercoaster and set in motion a self-proclaimed “new” era of American politics, but it’s naive to assume that all of our nation’s problems miraculously disappeared when Biden took office. Just because he is more experienced and levelheaded than his predecessor, doesn’t mean that he works beyond the reach of vigilance, exempt from any accountability. While the President finally feels like that -- a real President -- a world of arduous work, of the fight towards progress, lies ahead of us. Biden was not most people’s first choice, he was the only available option to remove Trump. And now that he’s gone, the same scrutiny that was once given to 45 must transfer to the current administration. It’s also important to remember that the President is one figure, one branch of government. Trump himself may be gone, but so much of the fear, hatred and absurdity that became trademark of his presiden-

cy still lives on in the form of representatives, senators and other elected officials. Whether we see it directly or not, a post-Trump America is not as changed as we’d like it to be. From the recent wave of xenophobic violence against the Asian community, to the 6-3 conservative majority on the Supreme Court, Trump’s bitter legacy remains firmly planted in American soil. Well, what did we expect? Systemic racism was just going to disappear when Air Force 1 dropped Trump off in Florida? All of the wrongs this country has perpetuated for centuries would just miraculously get erased on January 21st? Wrong. Just like Biden isn’t the miracle solution, Trump wasn’t the cause of these problems. Of course he played a large role in exacerbating them, but moving forward as a country post-Trump requires us to recognize that these problems have existed from the very inception of this nation. Trump just happened to give a voice to some of the bigotry that had previously been concealed. OK, so now that we’ve acknowledged where we stand as a country, where do we go from here? That’s the hard part. The United States has never been so polarized, so divided. The past year brought to the forefront police brutality, systemic racism, a global pandemic,

even domestic terrorism. And it wasn’t just 2020. The four years of the Trump presidency inflicted an immense amount of hurt on the American people. BIPOC, women and immigrants are just a few of the communities who found themselves under direct attack by the previous administration. The inflammatory rhetoric circulated by Trump and his supporters has left its fair share of wounds. It’ll take time for these scars to heal. However as we begin to heal from the past, we can’t afford to stop looking intently at the present. We can’t ease up because things have returned to a state of “normalcy” in the White House. Getting comfortable means accepting the status quo, which in the case of present day America, still allows for the societal and systemic oppression of individuals on the basis of skin color, sexual orientation or income. Complacency will come with consequences. So far, the Biden administration has provided advancements in vaccine distribution during their first two months in office, which obviously, is a necessary and a welcome change from the chaos that was Trump’s vaccination plan, or better, lack thereof. That being said, Biden also has ordered an airstrike on Syria, seemingly weakened the push for a $15 minimum wage and reopened a detention facility for migrant children at the US-Mexico border, all while appearing to roll back on his promise to provide

The Never Ending Cycle of Work

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Wake up for school at 8:30am Attend classes from 9 am to 2 pm on Zoom Eat for less than thirty minutes Work on homework for the next day Go to my job Come home and eat Work on more assignments that need to get done until 11pm to 1 am 8. Repeat every single day

Written By Sydney Fiorentino

I work as if it’s a never-ending cycle. All my motivation and energy goes towards school or extracurricular activities, and that’s it. During the p a n d e m i c , I h a ve n o t h a d t he t i m e t o d o anything else other than be productive. There’s so much extra space and time in each day, so I redirect my attention from my own thoughts by burying myself in work. I entered college thinking my experience would be ab out h av ing f u n w i t h n ew f o u n d f r i e n d s, exploring my interests, and attending classes that finally weren’t so boring. But with school entirely online, I found college and its social scene to be more competitive than I could’ve ever imagined. Who has the most extracurriculars? Who is investing in the next biggest start-up? Who has the most experience? I always thought of myself as someone who was able to silence the voices in my head when it came to comparing my experience to those of others, but this semester showed me just how intense the constant pressure to achieve can be. Around August, I made a LinkedIn because every admit in the GroupMe was connecting with each other. As I scrolled through LinkedIn, I saw that a lot of freshmen are presidential scholars, conducting research, or a part of some fellowship program. I compared myself to those profiles, feeling like I needed to do more to “fit in” because all I had to show for myself were basic extracurriculars from high school. The comparison doesn’t end online. So many of my conversations with friends I have made online at USC sound something like, “Did you do an internship last semester? Are you looking for one now? What are you doing over summer? Are you doing research yet?” My answer to these questions is usually no; however, I find myself wishing I was involved in

some sort of program because it seems like everyone else has figured out what they want to do. There’s an underlying feeling or pressure that you need to have x, y, z solved for if you want to be a “good” or “accomplished” student. I recognize that with everything going on in the world right now, taking care of myself is very important. However, I still feel like all I should do and have to do is work. Why? Because everyone else is doing it, and there is no excuse not to with this newfound quarantine “free time.” I complete assignments as each due date comes, but there’s always more work to get ahead on or finish off for extracurriculars. The words “deadline” and “exam” circle around and around in my brain. All I do is sit at my desk and work non-stop. All I want is a break. But I, like many others, feel as though I cannot take a break. I understand I need personal time; however, if I spend even a few hours more than 10 feet away from my laptop, then I struggle with feeling behind in classwork or on homework. In the month of February, I forced myself to take two days off where I did not allow myself to think, touch, or look at assignments. But this last month, I barely left the house, I rarely took walks, and I did not spend time on activities I wanted to do for fun. The one word I would use to describe college now is “work.” It is an unrelenting feeling of never being finished with work. Whether or not that may be because of the underlying pressure of online school during the pandemic, LinkedIn, or the hustle culture at USC translating through my computer screen, school feels like a never-ending grind to find oppor tunities that will improve my resume, studying, and taking exams. Is this what college is supposed to feel like?

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Written By Shefali Murti

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Images Taken by Ray Chavez + David Paul Morris

Family walks and social media just about sums up my quarantine. Lots of time spent in nature, and twice that time spent scrolling through my phone. As paradoxical as the two should be, they are much more intertwined than meets the eye. Actually, scratch that. People should definitely see their relationship, considering social media is simply obsessed with nature. It seems as if posting the sunset from your backyard has become a right of passage into this digital world. And though nature should be admired, appreciated, and shared with the world, a line needs to be drawn. A line between admiring, appreciating, and sharing the environment for the natural beauty that it is versus seeing it as unique content, a means of gaining more likes, or a way to showing off. Nature’s presence in social media should also mean that when it needs help, people are aware and will help accordingly. But the environment needs our help right now, and not enough people seem to be doing something about it. The effect of this pandemic is not the only “new normal” that people have been getting used to; rather than us doing everything in our power to prevent earth’s demise, climate change has been accepted as a “new normal”, and social media is perpetuating it. All that seems to have changed in the general content of social media is that there are more unique shots of nature, thanks to effects of climate change like the increase in snowstorms, volcanic eruptions, fires, etc. So how far below ethics are people willing to go just to get that perfect aesthetic? As photographers or social media connoisseurs, capturing “cool” looking occurrences in nature seems like second nature. But where is the line drawn between capitalizing on opportunities versus enjoying the moment versus understanding the moral and physical implications of what is happening? I am not guilt free when it comes to this issue, and I had an out of body experience with this when I was in Colorado f irst semester. At the time that I was there, Colorado was experiencing some of the worst uncontrolled wildfires its ever had--something that is a direct effect of climate change. These fires led to a lot of ashy rain, smoky skies, and red overcasts. There was one par ticular day, right before sunset, where I stepped outside on my deck and saw a sky like I’ve never seen before. An ombre of pink, purple, grey, and black, a mix of heavy smoke and fluffy clouds, the green and yellow tree’s illuminated by the sun’s glow...it was as if I stepped right into a painting. To no surprise, my very first instinct was that I just had to take a photo of it. And then I looked down towards the pathways that connect all the nearby apartments, and I realized everyone had the same instinct; all my neighbors were stepping outside with their iPhones raised up to capture this “beautiful” moment. But what we were considering “beautiful” to look at certainly did not have a beautiful meaning...this is climate change! I had not even met most of my neighbors yet (or seen them around) because of COVID. . .and what’s bringing us together was thiseveryone’s need to capture this moment.

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Looking at the pictures I took (and just looking at it with my bare eyes), the landscape looked fake, as if it was photoshopped or painted. But the fact that it literally looks unreal just further perpetuates this idea of people not thinking climate change is “real” or prominent enough to actively do something about. I quickly realized the implications of what I was doing and kept it to myself, but other people I follow didn’t seem to come to this realization that day. Posting it on social media, showing of f to our audience what crazily pretty moment we got to witness, captioning it “smokey sunsets <3” or “Nature at its best”...all this is doing is romanticizing climate change, a human-caused issue that is one of the biggest threats to earth and thus humankind, rather than vocalizing a need for change. Going this route is using nature and its helplessness to human action for personal gain. COVID hitting just seemed to amplify this idea of general public capitalizing on the environment and/or climate change on social media. With less people being able to post vacation solos or friend group pics, my feed, at least, seemed to turn into nature, since being in nature was something that abided to quarantine rules. More time walking, more time snapping photos, more time scrolling…it was probably inevitable. And that’s great! It’s great to appreciate nature’s beauty! But it’s equally important to think about intention. Nature should never just be about a photo opportunity, as clickbait. It’s important to always think about your role as a photographer, as a social media user, as a consumer, as a human occupying nature. When nature shows its need for help, it can’t just be a mysterious, never-before-seen-footage moment. I’m not at all tr ying to say we need to stop photographing nature and posting it. Photography and social media can be (and is) definitely used to bring appreciation to nature and/or awareness to climate change...and this should be a thing that everyone on social media partakes in. As a general population, more people should be taking time to spread awareness about climate change rather than making it about themselves.More people need to spend less time in the iCloud and spend more time genuinely acknowledging the real clouds.

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DON’T JUST STOP AND STARE, IT’S TIME TO SHOW THAT YOU CARE

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Expressing Yourself,

CREATING ART BY AIMEE PHAM <k^Zmbg` Zkm bl bga^k^gmer lhebmZkr% blheZmbg`% Zg] _h& cused on the self. We have the most control of our phkdl pa^g p^ k^ Zehg^ _k^^ _khf ]blmkZ\mbhgl Zg] ^qm^kgZe \kbmbjn^% Zg] _k^^ mh e^m hnk b]^Zl _neer \nemb& vate into art that only we made. But as we are thrown into the recesses of our shared isolation, we spend more time with ourselves and our work, which become increasingly more intertwined as the physical, mental, and emotional distance be& mp^^g ma^ mph e^ll^g' Ma^ iZkZ]hq h_ ZepZrl [^bg` [r hnklêo^l bl maZm p^ lmkn`è^ mh l^^ ahp p^ o^ changed as artists in the hyperbolic time chamber maZm bl <HOB=' :l p^ Zk^ _hk\^] mh lmZr bglb]^% p^ Zk^ also forced to look more closely and critically at our& lêo^l Zg] hnk phkd ebd^ lmZkbg` bgmh Z fbkkhk Zg] bglm^Z]% Ûg]bg` maZm ma^ k^Ü^\mbhg bl lhf^mabg` rhn pkhm^% k^\hk]^]% hk iZbgm^]' R^m% p^ phg]^k b_ hnk creations accurately present our visions, our wants, and the essences of who we are and aspire to be as artists. Bg +)+)% B lmZkm^] pkbmbg` fhk^ l^kbhnler' B o^ ZepZrl aZ] Zg Z_Ûgbmr mhpZk] lmhkrmêebg`% pa^ma^k maZm pZl makhnà fr \hglnfimbhg h_ [hhdl hk Ûefl% hk fr hpg% h_m^g o^k[Ze mêebg` h_ f^fhkb^l Zg] k^Ü^\mbhgl mh ma^ people in my life. For years, I had suppressed my deep desire to trans& late my musings into words. There was a sense of per& manence and vulnerability about writing that scared f^ inmmbg` i^g mh iZi^k Zg] fr mahnàml Zg] feelings completely out there in the open. I was also afraid to invest my energy, emotions, and time into an Zkmblmb\ \kZ_m maZm B fZr ghm ô^g [^ `hh] Zm' Gô& ertheless, I pushed these fears aside and entered the g^p ]^\Z]^ pbma Z g^p_hng] ah[[r maZm% _hk ma^ Ûklm time in my life, immersed me in the world of creating art.

When the entire globe went into lockdown last March, B ^f[kZ\^] fr Zkmblmb\ bgm^k^lm ô^g fhk^' B o^ l^^g this past year as an opportunity to write as much as I can, in frequency and form. I write almost every day, pa^ma^k bm l Z lahkm lmhkr% l\k^^gieZr% hk ô^g mabl Zkmb\e^ B f pkbmbg` kbàm ghp' ;nm ]^libm^ fr ]^]b\Zmbhg mh pkbmbg`% B o^ \hf^ Z\khll a number of obstacles. In October, I scribbled into my chnkgZe% B o^ [^^g h[l^ll^] pbma pkbmbg` k^\^gmer% [nm B o^ Zelh ]ôêhi^] Z ln__h\Zmbg` l^gl^ h_ lê_&]hn[m' B cnlm pZgm mh [^ `hh]' B o^ gô^k ^qi^kb^g\^] mabl _^êbg` [^_hk^3 Z fbq h_ lê_&\kbmb\blf Zg] _^ko^gm Zl& piration that could only arise because I cared about writing so much that it swallowed me whole. Ho^k\hfbg` bfihlm^k lrg]khf^ Zg] lê_&\kbmb\blf aZlg m [^^g ^Zlr% ^li^\bZeer ]nkbg` <HOB=' B o^ _êm the pressure to constantly optimize and produce since B aZo^ lh fn\a mbf^ maZm B lahne]g m pZlm^' B f Ze& ways trying to work on art, but in spending more time maZg ô^k [r frlê_% B f gh ehg`^k Z[e^ mh l^^ ahp B o^ [^^g `khpbg` Zg] bfikhobg` Zl Z pkbm^k' B o^ [^^g en\dr maZm B \Zg mZed mh Zkmblml bg fr eb_^% sharing and discussing our work with one another. B o^ _hng] \hf_hkm bg hnk \hgo^klZmbhgl% [^bg` Z[e^ to step away from my own writing to seew and hear what my family and friends are creating, where they Ûg] bglibkZmbhg% Zg] ahp ma^r \hi^ pbma _^êbg`l h_ insecurity and isolation in their art. Fr [khma^k =reZg pZl ebobg` bg G^p Rhkd [^_hk^ <HOB= Zg] ]^\b]^] mh \hf^ ahf^ mh E: pa^g eh\d& ]hpg lmZkm^]' :l B pkhm^ nilmZbkl bg fr [^]khhf% =reZg pZl ]hpglmZbkl k^\hk]bg` Zg] ikh]n\bg` abl Ûklm >I% Z ikhc^\m maZm a^ l [^^g phkdbg` hg lbg\^ 2019. Having been making music since 2014, he has honed the habits, skills, and discipline required to make music. He tells me that when quarantine hit,

By Yourself:

IN ISOLATION he turned up the notch, saying that “This was my life before, just more intense.” There was no longer an option to go out on Fridays, so instead, he used the mbf^ Zg] ^g^k`r a^ ] nlnZeer li^g] mh lh\bZebs^ mh work on his music.

with our physical environments, we can become more bg mhn\a pbma hnk libkbmnZebmr Z[lmkZ\m [nm k^Ze Zee ma^ same. I asked her if she felt the pressure to make as much art as possible during quarantine. She said yes and admitted that this pressure to be productive had only fueled her stress, rather than inspire her to make art. She actively stepped back and took a breath, re& alizing that it was okay to pause and focus on taking \Zk^ h_ a^kl^e_' La^ ^qiehk^l libkbmnZebmr makhn`a a^k art, as well as through her other hobbies, such as tar& hm k^Z]bg` Zg] f^]bmZmbhg' La^ l mZdbg` mabl mbf^ [r herself to focus on her mental and emotional health, for she wants to feel full enough to make work that la^ l ikhn] h_ phkd maZm fZd^l a^k _nee'

BlheZmbhg bl Z fhmb_ bg =reZg l Zkmblmb\ ikh\^ll Zg] ikh]& uct. Making music as a solo artist is isolating in itself, Zl a^ k^\hk]l Zg] ikh]n\^l Zehg^ bg ma^ ahf^ h_Û\^ maZm a^ mnkg^] bgmh Z lhng]ikhh_ lmn]bh' =reZg l >I is about the search for connection, a theme which is underscored by the fact that this search is made even fhk^ ]b_Û\nem bg jnZkZgmbg^' A^ mZil bgmh ma^ _^êbg`l h_ ehg`bg` Zg] blheZmbhg maZm \Zg ^qblm ô^g pa^g Z iZg]^fb\ ]h^lg m% Zg] nl^l mabl mbf^ h_ lhebmn]^ mh lbm with his emotions and channel them in his art. P^ mZed^] Z[hnm ma^ èhkbÛ\Zmbhg h_ ma^ ]îk^ll^] Zkmblm Zg] ma^ ÜZp^] \hg\îmbhg maZm hg^ aZl mh [^ =reZg Ûgbla^] abl >I bg CZgnZkr% Z _^Zm a^ blg m lnk^ emotionally unstable and burnt out in order to chan& a^ phne] o^ Z\\hfiebla^] Zm ma^ kZm^ maZm a^ ]b] b_ gê ma^ oneg^kZ[e^% ngÛem^k^] ^g^k`r maZm nembfZmêr <HOB= aZ]g m aZii^g^] Zg] a^ pZl lmbee bg G^p makes for “good art.” We ironically pride ourselves Rhkd% [nlr gZob`Zmbg` ma^ anlme^ Zg] [nlme^ h_ eb_^ bg bg hnk lê_&]îk^\Zmbhg% [êbôbg` maZm aZmbg` hnk Zkm the city. Was it more free time that made it possible, will motivate us to become better artists. hk pZl bm abl Z[bebmr mh k^Ü^\m hg abl ^qi^kb^g\^l h_ Ahpô^k% pbma ma^ ^qm^kgZe phke] [^bg` bg Z lmZm^ h_ blheZmbhg maZm aêi^] abf Ûgbla ma^ ikhc^\m8 ;hma% a^ intense entropy and our own lives just as chaotic and would say, for he could focus more and create some& capricious, we should realize that creating internal thing that accurately echoes the essence of his emo& \hgÜb\m _hk ma^ lZd^ h_ Zkm bl Z ikbobe^`^ bg bmlê_' Bm l mbhgl Zg] ^qi^kb^g\^l' normal to feel insecure, depressed, and lost, especial& er ]nkbg` <HOB=' R^m% p^ \Zg ^f[kZ\^ hnk _^êbg`l% B o^ Zelh _hng] lheZ\^ bg fr _kb^g] @p^g% Zl p^ lZm bg good and bad, even channel it in our art, all while a^k `ZkZ`^&mnkg^]&lmn]bh% \ZgoZl^l ikhii^] Z`Zbglm lmbee mkrbg` mh ikZ\mb\^ lê_&eho^ Zg] lê_&\Zk^' P^ ]hg m the walls and household paraphernalia scattered need to constantly criticize our work to grow as art& throughout. Her art is closer to home, literally and blml' P^ \Zg \ê^[kZm^ hnk Z[bebmr mh Ûg] bglibkZmbhg Û`nkZmboêr% Zl la^ \k^Zm^l liZ\^ _hk a^k Zkmphkd Zg] bg blheZmbhg Zg] hnk ]^lbk^ mh \k^Zm^ Zkm pabe^ p^ k^ her own introspection. Zehg^' <k^Zmbobmr ]h^lg m aZo^ mh \hf^ _khf l\Zk\bmr4 it can come from abundance, even right now, when @p^g bl Z eZg]l\Zi^ iZbgm^k pah ^qiehk^l ma^ kêZ& the only thing we really have is ourselves. tionship between nature and people in her art. She ]h^lg m iZbgm Û`nk^l4 r^m% ma^k^ bl Z ]blmbg\mer anfZg element to her work that discusses how in interacting

E D I S N I

OUT

Written By Alana MacMahon

I know it will all come together in the end, we’ll be together my friends.

GROUNDING When I feel connected to the Earth is when I have always felt the most connected to myself, as my worries melt away in the sunshine. Now more than ever, the outdoors is a reprieve from the stress of indoor spaces and unmasked human faces. The hummingbirds fluttering above bring peace. The chrysalises in the garden all hatched. I caught the moment the last one emerged into the world as a butterfly now. The lady tending her tomatoes says during quarantine she has time to stop and observe now. When quarantine started, treadling headlines: nature returns to cities, clear skies. They were misleading, offering false hope. Emissions rise again, production ramps up. Complete shutdown, cutting off livelihoods, is not sustainable (not everyone has the privilege of working from home). Some say we need a plague to trim down the population. The sanctity of life is not the problem–colonialism and unregulated capitalism are. The United States is 4% of the world’s population and is responsible for 25% of historical emissions. We need to reimagine how our businesses operate.

SPREADING Repeating statistics, a pattern. The United States suffered more than 20% of the world’s coronavirus deaths. The disgustingly-rich collecting an exceptional increase in wealth amidst global suffering. The system was always inside out. In an Uber, we drive by an unmasked group, she asks if I heard about the protests against masks i n H u nti ngton B each today. Inde e d I h ad, protes ti ng over pi eces of fabric t h at s ave l i ves instead of protesting against a system of inequitable life sentences inequitably and deadly force, taking lives away.

Violence Officer Sicknick died during the storming of the United States Capital. Two more officers died by suicide. More preparation and forceful response would have been used if it was a peaceful protest against deadly policing and incarceration tactics in America, another epidemic. Assaults on Uber drivers after a year of viral slurs. 8 are murdered in Atlanta-area spas, 6 being Asian women but the killer simply “had a bad day.” Sarah Everard, murdered by an officer and her vigil is disrupted by police. The authority of those who are entrusted to keep us safe is abused globally. While officers risk their lives and can do good, safety of all was never the intention of the system. Marginalized groups have never been safe, how could they be when murderers hold the power. White silence is violence. Men enjoying their freedom without holding other men accountable is why women say they hate men. It’s what you say when taking every ingrained safety precaution

and living in fear can’t stop the violence.

catalyst. Freshman year one of my professor’s said “if you don’t have your health you have nothing else” and that stuck with me.

Shared Spaces WORDS Left unsaid Unmasked dinners with more households and less testing as the semester progressed made me feel anxious. I knew she was stressed too, I hugged her when she cried over the same sadness of stress and stolen time echoed online by students everyday. That first night, I knew she was lying when she walked out the door. I tried to talk it out and not let the door close on us, but after two months, I was tired of constantly seeking safety reassurances and the final line was crossed. I had always tried to be there, crying over a guy with a girlfriend last year and throughout quarantine. In retrospect, your story about meeting his girlfriend that last night out before shutdown at the 9-0 should have been my clue. Shouldn’t have been surprised by a lack of support for me being ready for my first attempt at romance, feeling safe and secure. Her parents pulled her Louis Vutton purse strings, so I said she could still come and pay less rent and no utilities. Decided worrying about my health wasn’t worth the partial rent when I already accepted the reality of student loans a long time ago. She already blamed me for her parents’ reactions. When I asked for help cleaning the (her) hair throughout the apartment, she critiqued my cleaning. At least she cleaned the toilet once after throwing up in it. In the past, I held her hair back and head above the tub water but in the end I was the judgemental one for mentioning that alcohol impairs social-distancing judgement. Maybe we were already growing into our own since we started college and covid was just the

She said “testing is a waste of resources” • I should have replied “The point of asymptomatic testing is to catch cases before spreading it unknowingly. Our access to testing is a privilege and a responsibility to the community we moved into. Stop testing me and resume covid testing!” She said, “You’re making me homeless.” • I should have replied “Moving into new student housing is not homelesness. If you want to see the homelessness crisis in Los Angeles just take a walk outside. It’s impossible not to see, but we still manage to turn a blind eye. Or maybe we really don’t notice anymore, if ever, even worse.” On the phone with her parents I overhear “I don’t know where I’ll get my next meal.” • I should have asked “Have you seen the pandemic food lines nationwide? Food insecurity runs as rampant as the coronavirus amongst college students. You’re doing just fine with your Postmating and socializing dinners.” On the phone with your friends, you joke about “survival of the fittest.” • I should have said “We have irrevocably failed more than 500,000 Americans.”

45 45

) CAN T "REATHE • Anxiety relieved with grounding exercises • Air pollution and its health impacts, worse in marginalized communities • Overcrowded hospitals and respiratory complications • Final breath, a life robbed by the system • Shouldn’t be a debate, the right to simply breathe

Living a Life that Best Suits You:

Parting Words from a (Not So Ready) Senior Written By Kristyn Byrd be like this, I thought. We’ll be in person senior year and I’ll be with all my friends, we’ll have our last tailgate season, and we’ll travel all across California. Unfortunately, as the days progressed, the news showed a contrasting picture. My hopes for having a normal year were quickly disintegrating and I yearned for time to stop. If time kept going, there was a high probability that I would have to finish my Twelve years later, I’ve still never read final year of college remotely. I finally unit. Yet, I find myself thinking about the derstood what the class of 2020 must have book every once in a while. How do we felt when they heard their graduation was differentiate the small stuff from the big cancelled. stuff? When should I know to worry or not worry? When should I know to be On top of that, I had no motivation to happy? When should I not? All of these finish school. Tuition was still high, my questions rang louder during my time in friends were thinking about staying home, and I realized that my personality quarantine. trait was “being busy” for the past three I came back from my study abroad ex- years. Covid-19 had left me with a sense perience frightened by the pandemic. I of lethargy and apathy as all my activities spent most of my summer inside my small had to be confined between myself and apartment or very briefly outside with a my family at home. I thrived off this sense mask on—6 feet apart from anyone who of urgency, to be at class by 2PM, go to was in my line of sight. Senior year won’t work at 3PM, and go to a club meeting at When I was 10 years old, I found a book laying in the back of my mom’s car: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. I was confused. How was I not supposed to worry about the big math test on fractions coming up in class? It looked like a “grown up” book, so I covered it up with other family junk without giving it a second thought.

5PM. Being busy made me feel purposeful, but with my tight knit schedule being reduced to one FaceTime per week, I felt lost. I was 21 during the 2020 pandemic lockdown and all I wanted to do was anything but sit still. I wanted to visit Vegas, explore national parks, dance the night away with my friends, and enjoy life as any 21 year old main character does in the movies. I wanted so many different things for 2020. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted. But so did everyone. I kept having to remind myself that, as lonely as I felt, 330 million people all wanted different things for this year too. Many families experienced hardships: loss of jobs, loss of normalcy, and worst of all, loss of family members. I had to remember that 21, while an iconic year, did not have to be the peak of my life. In fact, if 21 was the only year that I had crazy, wild adventures, then maybe I was limiting myself too much. Recently, I had a conversation with my friend about how I felt like we were wasting our lives away, becoming prisoners to our own homes. I asked him how he dealt with this crushing feeling and he responded by saying that he focuses on his future: the new city he’ll live in, the job he’ll have, the big city romance he’s always wanted, and all the fun he’ll find there. And I don’t know why, but something snapped in me. I sent back a lengthy text message saying that I was tired of waiting for the future. For three years, I had focused my energies on the club I was going to join next year, or the class I was going to take next semester. My mind had been so forward thinking that I forgot to enjoy my college experience during my 4 year dash. The future is inevitable, but the present is fleeting. It wasn’t until I was confined to my room that I realized how quickly the present flies by. If the future is imminent, then we should take every second to enjoy the moment right in front of us. “Well, I try to live a life that’s best for me,” my

friend said. Through my friends, family members, and Hollywood movies, I was given expectations about every monumental moment in my life: going to college, turning 21...and I was trying to meet and exceed all of those expectations, but it never occurred to me that those expectations may not be things I want to do. For the most part, I look back and I think about my college memories fondly, but in those moments when I was running from place to place, onto the next accomplishment, I just remember feeling tired and worn out. During quarantine, I listed a couple of things I learned throughout my time in college just in case I wanted to share them:

Take time to figure out what you like to do and do the hell out of it! I think a lot of us are told what we are good at, so we do those things. We don’t stop to think if we like what we’re doing or not. For example, just because you may be good at math doesn’t mean you’re passionate about it. So, challenge yourself and try something new. Take as little as 10 minutes a day to do something radical, like dancing, roller skating, running, or any other action verb I haven’t listed here. It’s also okay to sit, think, and investigate your inner likings. Oftentimes, we think it's too late to explore our interests. Yet, your passions don’t have an age limit, you’re only doing a disservice to yourself by not finding your own personal interests.

Don’t focus on the negative what-ifs; the positive ones are just as fun to think about! In college, all I could ever think about was the negatives. What if I failed this exam? What if I didn’t get into this club? What if I didn’t get this internship/job? They would consume my thoughts and I would spend minutes prematurely giving myself an ulcer for no reason. I wanted

to only think of the negatives so that my expectations would be low whenever big news would come. However, this mentality will only bring you unnecessary pain. I say, indulge yourself with the positive what ifs, they’re much more exciting anyway.

Not everyone remains in your life and that’s okay, but cherish the ones that do. With the catalyst of social media, it’s so easy for people to stay connected. But there’s nothing that quite prepares you for that sting when friends leave you in real life. Sometimes, “it is what it is,” which hurts because you have to accept that there’s really nothing you can do about it. All we can do is thank them for the lessons they taught us and the memories they’ve given us. For the ones that stay, try to nurture those relationships! You never know when the last time you’ll be able to hug them again. After college, life moves us so quickly and drastically, while we have it, we should use the time to cherish our friends.

Try to balance work and life. I recently had an informational interview with a professional at Google and I asked her if she could change anything in her career up to that point, what would she change? She said she wouldn’t change anything since every action she took brought her to Google, but that she would allocate more time outside of work. She explained that we all are hungry for work after college, ready to dedicate 50-90 hours of work to our employers. However, what does that leave us with? A nice resume with no social life outside of your direct work family. No time to pursue interests, for family, or to enjoy life in general. Try to make time for yourself besides the weekends. Do an activity you like to do on a regular basis. Work isn’t the end all be all of our existences. You can have it all.

Everything really is small. My freshman year, I asked a senior to help me study for case interviews. He was going to work at one of the three largest consulting firms in the nation, so I was nervous. During our time together, I stumbled over my words and overthought every action. I was more than embarrassed to say the least. As he was getting up to leave, he said to me “I don’t get why you’re so worried, none of this, matters”. I was crossed: why would he say that to me? He just saw me flounder around for an hour. Geez thanks, why didn’t I think of that, I scowled quietly. He looked at me in the eye as he closed the door and said “seriously, in the grand scheme of life, none of this, matters”. I brushed his comment off, of course he’s relaxed, he has a job at a good company. Now being a senior myself, I realize wisdom. When I look back at my life at the age of 70, I don’t want my prominent memories to be of me worrying about insignificant stressors. This senior helped me realize that life is more than these stressors are ephemeral. Even if short lived, we can’t let one stressor be replaced by another. We have to break the cycle and recognize that everything will eventually fall in line, it has up to this point hasn’t it? I can’t say I’m ready to graduate, but I think a lot of people aren’t. This is the first time in 22 years that I won’t identify as a student, a huge change in my identity. Usually, when I’m reading a book I’m rushing to get to the next chapter. But reading the book of my own life, I’m hesitant to turn the next page. However, we don’t read a book just to finish it. We read a book to laugh, to cry, to feel and to experience. Sometimes, it’s not about the ending of a book at all: it’s all about the chapters and footnotes in between. Life is unpredictable, and 2020 has shown me that much at least. But hopefully you’ll be able to carry some of these words with you as we transition to the “new normal.” I hope these words will help you live a life that you’re happy with.

AA Reflection Reflection on on ImmunoImmunocompromisation compromisation During During the the Pandemic Pandemic written byby Daisy Bell written Daisy Bell

he pandemic has been a time of many things: masks, gloves, hand sanitizer, banana bread. At the onset of the pandemic, we didn’t realize how much of our lives would change, what we would think about, or how our anxiety levels might skyrocket. I also like to think that we are now much more cognizant of high-risk individuals, like our grandparents or those who are immunocompromised, who could possibly be the statistic in the ICU. And, while it is important to maintain distance from high-risk populations, our government response has done a poor job supporting these groups and ensuring their safety and wellbeing. In the United States, about 60 percent of the population suffers from a chronic condition, according to the CDC. While diagnosis of a chronic condition is not the sole determinant of a weakened immune system, this statistic describes how important an efficient and effective pandemic response is to ensure the wellbeing of countless Americans. Instead, the Trump Administration began dismantling their pandemic response in 2017. Where was the rationale that this would be beneficial to the American people? How would this promote life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? The Trump Administration knew the volatility of coronavirus back in late November of 2019, and yet it took them till March to publicly communic ate its severity.

Time and time again, the American government has failed to solve health issues. Politicians would rather cash in lobby money than help cancer patients, whose treatments can cost thousands of dollars per month. Why is this happening, and why are we not talking about it? Medical costs are the leading cause of bankruptcy in the U.S. Government officials are not solving these real social issues, which is literally the reason why we elect them into office. Though this certainly was true prior to the outbreak of COVID-19, it has become more apparent now.

“

The thing about public health is that it is affected by all of our actions”

I think one of the clearest ways politicians have failed the immunocompromised community is by making their COVID response a political issue. Why were COVID task forces dictated by state? Each state’s response is a direct indicator of how much they genuinely care about the health and wellbeing of high-risk populations. Simply put, this strategy has catastrophic effects for the entire country. In March, Louisiana failed to cancel Mardi Gras celebrations. Yet, it is speculated that one million people contracted coronavirus just from this event. Also, 12 out of the 50 states currently have no mask mandate. More are opening businesses, and increasing restaurant capacities. The lack of governmental response persists, despite warnings from scientists and epidemiologists. The thing about public health is that it is affected by all of our actions. You probably shouldn’t hang out with friends if you’re feeling under the weather. We should all stay updated with vaccines. Don’t want to give the virus to your grandparent? Great. If you want to catch up with them, you should probably do it virtually or get tested before seeing them. Our actions speak louder than our words. Doing what you can for high-risk populations is a sign of care and of love. They are our community and our family and our friends. This is what is lost in translation with politics.

To all the politicians who have eased their state’s COVID restrictions, you are risking the lives of our loved ones, our friends. To all of the police officers not enforcing regulations claiming them to be a breach of the first amendment, I thought protection and safety was part of your job description. You are supposed to protect us from harm, not put us in the firing ring. For the immunocompromised, the failure to enforce COVID restrictions are dangerous. The vaccine rollout is happening right now across the country. It is a beacon of hope to get back to what life looked like before the pandemic. With each wave of vaccine rollout, the immunocompromised —specifically those of whom are not terminally ill and younger than 65 —are being left behind. In California, this population will be allowed to take the vaccine beginning March 15 in accordance with their doctors. It makes sense that doctors are involved to determine if their patient’s immune system can take the toll of the vaccine. Yet, the fear for this population persists. Living with a chronic illness is inherently isolating regardless of the pandemic. You live a different reality than those around you. However, these vaccine phases designate a person’s level of worth based on their sickness level. If you are chronically ill, in March, you may be seeing perfectly healthy friends and neighbors getting vaccinated before you. This is traumatic to say the least and makes you realize the power structures influencing our lives. How does the government not care about the chronically ill population at all? Better yet, why are my neighbors and friends that I thought were oh so nice cutting the vaccine “line” while I am huddled in my apartment afraid a cut is going to put me on bed rest for a week?

“

The vaccine rollout makes you realize the power structures influencing our lives”

Overall, this time is trying for all of us. On top of the pandemic, we are facing so many grim aspects of our realities, such as mental health and racism. We are exhausted and worn out. It can get so confusing to figure out the right thing to think, do, and say at every moment. We are all trying to get through this. Yet, I think the important takeaway is that we are stronger together. We can help each other get through this trying time, and make life a little better for now and after COVID. Lead your life with love but don’t forget the ways our actions can impact marginalized communities. And for all those who are immunocompromised and scared right now, we are with you and we choose to care even if our government and institutions do not.

spread by Daisy Bell

I layout by Daisy Bell

t’s March 2020 and COVID-19 has just been declared a national emergency. Restaurants, salons, and all “non-essential businesses” have now been shut down, and we have either returned home to our parents, or are stuck in our college apartments scared for what’s to come. Not sure of how contagious this virus is, let alone how deadly it is, we have no other choice than to wait, turn on the news and hope for answers. As we sat in quarantine for months upon end with the uncertainty of our country’s health, life felt as if it had stopped. And while the

world had stopped for nine months, the pressures of society didn’t. We logged onto Instagram, and stories that used to be “Please wear a mask” and “Stay home” quickly moved to “If you aren’t using this time to pick up a new hobby then WYD.” Rather than encouraging each other to cope with these scary circumstances in the best way you see fit, we began to pressure one another into feeling like we had to use this time to change our appearance, add a skill to our resume or even, find an internship for the uncertain fall semester.

Expectations began to arise on social media, and eventually were pushed onto us by society itself. What we initially took as an opportunity to slow down, and take a breath from our busy everyday lives, soon turned into a time where we felt the pressure of having to revamp ourselves as individuals. Rather than being able to manage coping with the negative feelings that came along with this global pandemic, we were forced to feel as if we had to tack on a new hobby or lose 20lbs. COVID-19 brought increased loneliness, stress, anxiety and depression to college students across the nation, yet we were never really given a break to improve our mental health. Some of us were coping with family members test-

ing positive for COVID, the loss of jobs, trying to decide what we would do for our studies and so much more. Yet we were expected to navigate these new waters as if we were all living the same reality. As we logged onto TikTok and Instagram, we saw other Gen Zers engaging in Chloe Ting’s ab workouts and those who weren’t focused on enhancing their physical appearance were adding new hobbies to their resume. Some of us began journaling, while some of us took on artistic crafts such as pottery-making, and as the number of us who started to engross ourselves in these activities grew, so did the insistence to take this time to reinvent ourselves. Instagram stories were filled with words that demanded that we use this new-found “free-time” to better ourselves, and although we were still unsure of what

was to come with the surge of COVID-19 cases, we were allotted the luxury of feeling as if we could use this tragic time as a moment to reinvent our physique, personality, skills...etc. As a college student, I too felt these pressures as we attempted to adjust to the new normalcy of our lives. As I looked in the mirror after spending a year abroad, I was ashamed. I reflected on what I had been doing with my time over the past couple of months as COVID-19 panned out, and I was ashamed. I didn’t have a new hobby, I was probably a few pounds heavier than I was in March, and I had yet to have any internship set up for the school semester. In hopes of masking this feeling of disapproval, I began working a full-time job, and taking two online courses. In addition to this, I started to dedicate two hours of my day to ellipticalling in

hopes of coming out of this pandemic with my ideal body. As this started to become routine, I no longer felt as if the multiple Instagram stories questioning how I spent my time were directed at me.

I felt as if I was now accepted by society, and I even started to look at other people and question why they weren’t doing the same. But that shouldn’t have been the case. There was no actual reason for me to feel as if I needed to come home from an eight hour work day, rush through homework and tests so that I could hop on my parent’s elliptical machine for far too long. There was no need for me to feel

like I needed to burn 1,500 calories a day, cut back on my caloric intake, and lose 20 pounds. There was no need for me to pick up coworkers shifts to the point that I was working 45+ hour weeks. There was no need for me to feel pressured into spending countless hours filling out applications, perfecting my resume and cover letter, and interviewing with dozens of PR and communications firms to secure a paid internship for the Fall semester. This should have been a time that I felt confident enough looking myself in the mirror and thanking myself for being so strong. Thanking my body for providing for me each and every day, and thanking my mind for keeping sane amidst a global pandemic.

The process of becoming comfortable with not continuing life as if COVID-19 I did the things that made me happy, and didn’t beat myself up for the days that I may have not gotten all that I wanted to done. I stopped living life for what I could add to my LinkedIn profile, and started coping with COVID-19 in the best way that I see fit. The year 2020 was unlike any year we have ever seen before, and to expect yourself to continue as if it were just another year is ridiculous, to say the least. Life as we knew it was completely transformed, and to this day, we are still working towards our new normal. Through the highs and the lows, we made it through. We are now at the tail end of this pandemic, and soon we will hopefully get to experience a more connected life.

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