Generation Magazine - Vol. 28 Issue 1

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Generation Magazine - September 7, 2010 - Welcome Back to #ubufffalo!

CONTENTS

Featured Also

10

04 | Editor’s Letter

Welcome to the new year!

07 | Agenda

Check out all the cool stuff going on after September 7.

What’s hot and what’s not in Buffalo.

All the questions you were too afraid to ask your parents when you were younger.

Someone is not a big fan of the Qual ity Markets patrons.

Generation Magazine’s foreign cor respondant takes us through his journey in Ireland

We look at how LeBron’s departure signals a new way sports teams are composed.

There’s a new mobile OS coming to town, and Generation looks at what’s so different about this one.

| Hit or Bulls***

08 | He Says, She Says

13

| Rants

10 | The 4-Leaf Journal NYC to UB

Why would anyone pass on the opportunity of studying in the greatest city in the world, in favor of Buffalo. We had a quick chat with a UB student who passed on NYC, and we ask: why?

14 | Leaving Cleveland 16 | Windows Phone 7 20 | Literary

Hitchens vs. the World.

22 | Parting Shots

14 (716)2010-GEN

14

The Ever-Elusive Job Market

In the midst of a recovering economy, students are skeptical of their chances when it comes to getting a job post-graduation. We talked to some recent graduates, and discovered that there is hope.

Associate Editor Steve Neilans brings us back to the days of the personals and looks into the future of Generation Magazine.

Text or call our anonymous tipline with suggestions or questions for our advice columns. Forward us your texts from last night.

If you’re still spinning away at a rotary phone, just call us at 201-0436.

Photo credits: Cover design by Dino Husejnovic. NYC Skyline picture by Flickr User Thomas Roessler, used under Creative Commons license; UB Panorama on cover, by Generation Photo Editor Allison Wasneechak; Above, monkey looking to work bananas, Flickr User philcampbell; Ireland photo

by Flickr user Visualist Images; Bills Stadium Flickr User Scott Kinmartin; Page 9: Gelato - Flickr User: ulterior epicure (cc); Ireland - Flickr User: 1541; Page 14: LeBron Crying Flickr User: Keith Allison under Free to Distribute Creative Commons license; Page 14 + 15; Page 15: Ryan Miller Flickr Username: Jeremy Roof; Page 20 Hitchens Books: Flickr Username Jemimus (cc); Page 16 and 17: Windows Phone 7 Photos courtesy of MicrosoftFeed. Page 18: ‘Who Doesn’t Love a Parade’ reddit submission, username: micah1_8.

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editor’s letter

Generation Magazine

Risky business

“Dino? Like a dinosaur?” Yes, like a dinosaur.

I’m sorry, but I had to get that joke out of the way before I proceed. There are more. Dino, the purple dinosaur from “The Flintstones” and “Dino Spomoni” from “Hey Arnold”. I am as baffled as you are concerning what my parents were thinking when they named me Dino. But you know what? I love it.

There is nothing better than having a name like Dino. Aside from the horrible and repetitive jokes, I love it because it makes me stand out. John. Cory. Dan. Dino. Mike. Andrew. You get the point.

It is short, it is simple and it is different.

But the real point I am trying to make is that risks can pay off, and too many people are not willing to take risks in hopes of succeeding.

When my parents named me Dino, they risked having their child being compared to reptiles. It is probably one of the main reasons why there are so many Johns in America (or not). Either way, when I applied for the position of editor in chief at Generation Magazine, I risked not succeeding while under the UB spotlight, mostly in part to my utter lack of knowledge when it comes to running a magazine. I started off as a computer science major and I am graduating with a media study major concentrating in production. So why the hell am I doing this? What if I fail miserably at this whole magazine thing? If you are reading this, then one risk has paid off.

UB is like a huge turnstile, or at least it’s supposed to work like one. People jump in as freshmen and hop out as graduates. But what really matters is what happens in that turnstile. Do you go by the routine, or do you grab this bull by the balls and do whatever crazy shit you can to prepare yourself for the life ahead.

Going the routine way is easy, but that results in too many similar people coming out of the UB turnstile. What separates you from the thousands of other School of Management graduates that will be applying to the same jobs you are applying for? One of the main reasons I love UB is because it gives you many opportunities to differentiate yourself from everyone else, and it is never too late. Joining clubs, playing sports, working and interning, all make you a little bit more different than the average college student. At this point of our lives, average is bad.

Take, for example, an internship, which is probably one of the most stupid concepts in today’s culture. I would say one is taking a risk when they decide to work their ass off for free just to add a couple of lines to their resume. Don’t even get me started on for-credit internships. Paying out of your own pocket to assist people is just plain dumb. But somehow, it pays off.

This summer, I interned at a local news station. I had to do it for credit, because there are almost no internships out there that will actually pay you for your work. UB made me pay for summer tuition on this credit, so I ended up paying over $500 to work for free.

At this internship, I made coffee and copies, cleaned the kitchen and washed dishes three times a week. I also did some other things relating to television show production, such as dealing with guests and posting stories on the web.

Obviously I do not need a bachelor’s degree to do any of these things. But in the end, this ridiculous concept somehow paid off. Even though I did not gain much technical knowledge, I did learn some of the most valuable lessons that I would have never learned in a UB lecture hall. It is these lessons that differentiate you from an average student.

Generation Magazine has been back for one semester already, and it has been through quite a bit of change in the last couple of years, all due to some risky moves. It has lost the glossy black-

2010 - 2011 Staff and-white cover and now sports a color matte newspaper-style cover. It has also lost a coveted personals section, and gained a couple color pages (some of the freshmen may not know what I am talking about here). It has been ripped apart by The Spectrum numerous times, because of the changes. It even lost a couple of staples in the middle, thanks to our crappy economy.

The reality is that these risks were necessary to keep this valuable resource at UB alive. There may not be a dirty personals section anymore, but the beauty of Generation Magazine is that the whole darn thing is a personal. It is an opportunity for writers of all kinds and calibers to showcase their talent.

Just the fact that students still have this opportunity is just another example of how risks can pay off.

If you are planning on working in the banking sector, I would not recommend for you to get into the habit of taking risks, but to all my other fellow students, I urge you to go outside of the box and break from the average. One great way is to write for Generation! Everyone has something interesting to say, so let your creative juices flow. E-mail us your opinions, stories, poems, photos and whatever else you think other people might find interesting. You can even text us at 716-2010-GEN (716-201-0436). Or if you just want to chat, we will be hanging out in 315 Student Union.

Best of luck in the upcoming semester, and I look forward to serving you with this bi-weekly cocktail of awesomeness.

Editor in Chief Dino Husejnovic

Managing Editor Kathryn Przybyla

Creative Director Elizabeth Flyntz

Copy Editor

Catherine Prendergast

Associate Editors Seon McDonald Steve Neilans Allison Balcerzak

Photo Editor

Allison Wasneechack

Circulation Director Rashid Dakhil-Rivera

Contributing Staff Josh Newman Josh Gordon Elyssa Rogers Vincent Chia Nathan Grygier

Business Manager Ariella Goro

Ad Manager Wei Yu Zhao

Asst. Ad Manager TBD

Cover design by Dino Husejnovic.

Dino Husejnovic Editor in Chief

Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporationat the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation.

Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine.

Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephone numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260 Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e- mailed to ubgeneration@gmail.com by 1 p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2009 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free.

Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief.

Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief.

Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000.

ubgeneration.com | 5

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Agenda MOVIE | RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE | SEPTEMBER 10

Alice, played by Milla Jovovich, continues her journey through the world destroyed by a virus, which turns its victims into the Undead, and attempts to find survivors and lead them to safety. As her battle with Umbrella Corporation escalates, she gets some unexpected help from an old friend. In hopes of reaching a city promising safe haven from the Undead, Alice and her friends end up stepping into a deadly trap.

CONCERT | VAMPIRE WEEKEND | SEPTEMBER 10

A show in Syracuse was their first gig outside of New York City. Now, Vampire Weekend is touring across the country, and is making a stop in Rochester’s Main Street Armory on September 10, 2010. Tickets start at $32.50. Argyle dress code enforced.

CONCERT | SCOTT CELANI & BLACK WIDOW | SEPTEMEBER 8

UB on the Green is bringing a couple of Western New York’s top bands to the South Campus lawn. UB on the Green is a free, outdoor festival of music, dance and fun. Scott Celani will take the stage with a full band performance of melodic pop songs, while Black Widow will get the crowd moving with their high-tempo party rock.

THEATRE | THE WIZARD OF OZ | SEPTEMEBER 17

Theatre in the Mist, Inc in conjunction with The Edwin Mellen Press presents The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum at Niagara Falls Performing Arts Center. All ticket purchases for the event, which runs from September 17 to 25, will benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Adult tickets are $12.

MOVIE |GOING THE DISTANCE | SEPTEMBER 3

Starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long, this romantic comedy is sure to bring back some familiar feelings if you have ever been in a long-distance relationship. The film is centered on a guy and a gal who try keep their relationship while residing on two different coasts. It is surprisingly funny, and for couples that have been in a long distance relationship this summer, this film will certainly result in a new level of appreciation into the relationship.

ubgeneration.com | 7

TEXT US YOUR QUESTIONS! 716-201-0436 8 | ubgeneration.com

He Says, She Says An advice column divided by the sexes, starring Kathryn Przybyla and Dino Husejnovic

I’m a freshman this year and came to UB knowing nobody. I’m a math major and lack the necessary social skills to make friends without being weird. You guys have any advice?

KP: Meeting new people can be tough, especially if you are coming here on your own. Try joining a couple clubs in the things you are interested in. Even Lindsay Lohan was a member of “Mathletes” at one point in her career, and look how great she turned out! Embrace your inner-nerd. Those Glee kids are on to something.

DH: Socially-awkward math major. I think I’ve heard this one before. The best advice I can give you is just to NOT BE YOURSELF. I know everyone tells you to be yourself and go for what you believe in, but screw that shit. Who wants to be a math major that sucks at talking to people? Why don’t you pretend that you are a confident pre-med student who has a lot going for him? Money turns women on, and sometimes you get more than a friend, if you know what I mean (you probably don’t.) You can also pretend that you are from Britain.

There are some great YouTube tutorials on how to get that flattering British accent. Who doesn’t want to be friends with a Brit. As I like to say, fake it till you make it.

My girlfriend needs to lose some serious weight. She used to be smoking hot, now there is too much to love.

How do I help her out without hurting her feelings?

KP: Weight can be a pretty touchy subject with women. See if she’s interested in working out with you at the gym for a fitness date. Otherwise, Student Wellness Services offers a couple cool yoga classes a week. If she can’t lose it, at least she can tone it up.

DH: There is absolutely NO WAY to do this without hurting her feelings. Women are programmed to exaggerate their disapproval whenever you mention something about weight. Obviously, “girl, get your fat ass on the treadmill,” would be in the inappropriate way of approaching the issue. Therefore, you must do something silently. But how do you make someone stop eating without telling them? One way is to simply knock all her fatty foods off the table and onto the ground. Sure, she’ll think you’re a little clumsy, and kind of annoying that you keep smacking a burger out of her hands, but that’s nothing compared to being an asshole who told his girlfriend she was fat.

I’m obsessed with prime-time television and spent the entire summer watching re-runs of all my favorite shows. Now, school is starting and I think it might affect my grades eventually. How can I control myself? I literally can’t go a day without my Hugh Laurie fix.

KP: Trust me. I’m a huge Hugh Laurie fan myself, but I think its time to turn off the tube. If you spent your whole summer watching overdone soap operas instead of taking advantage of the good weath-

er, I’m afraid for what’s in store for you this winter. Tape a House M.D. picture on the inside of your planner and call it a day.

DH: TV is the shit. Never give up TV. It will keep you alive. From what I can establish, you have deeply thought about what will affect your grades this year.

This means that you’re probably living in Gover-nerds. Nerd. This also means that you probably spend all your time inside, since your social life is non-existent. Correct? OK, good. Yes, TV might take up a little time from your day, but more importantly, it will keep you from committing suicide. It’s a far stretch, but trust me on this one.

I’m a realy good writer and wanna make ur magazine the bomb. Hire me? i want my name in print yo!

KP: Well we are always looking for writers to submit new content or articles, so feel free to stop by our office with your ideas. Although might I suggest taking ENG 101 to help with your lack of grammar skills? Otherwise we have some pretty kick-ass editors who can clean up your stuff.

DH: OK, guess imma have to speak in ur languauage for this one. For you, ENG 101 would be the best gateway to writing for Generation. But for the rest of the UB population, which I hope has decent grammar skills and also something to say, you can go to ubgeneration.com and click the SUBMIT tab. Easy, right?

Attach ur shit n we gon get in touch wit

yo ass about whatevz u wrote. Ya kno wat I mean?

Are parties down by South Campus safe? All I heard last year was how cool they are and now that I’m here, everyone says I’m going to get shot.

What’s the deal?

KP: When it comes to safety, south campus certainly has a reputation for being a little sketchy. But that doesn’t mean you should stay locked up in Amherst all year long. There are plenty of cool things to do in the area that don’t involve frat parties that get broken up by the cops before midnight. Where ever you partake your after hour festivities, just be smart & don’t go anywhere alone.

DH: Hell yeah, son. South Campus is as safe as it gets around Buffalo. Every weekend, there are countless patrols circling through the heights, keeping you safe and sober. North Campus is boring. It’s surrounded by old upper-class people. Nothing beats the thrill of walking into a sketchy and steamy basement of an 18th century disaster-waiting-tohappen. I think we can all agree that the best memories happen next to the furnaces. Actually, I can recall a couple next to a boiler as well. A washer-dryer combo too! Wow. Either way, if you decide to go, don’t go alone. And if you’re a dumbass and do go alone, understand that there’s a slight chance of your ass getting raped.

UB Blowing Off Some Steam Quality Markets

By Nathan Grygier

Whenever I would tell people that I worked at Quality Markets, I was always pretty certain of the reaction that I would get. People would usually just say “Oh, that’s nice,” or something that was a polite way of saying “that place is a shithole.” However, the best reaction that I ever received was when I was signing up for a checking account at KeyBank and she asked where I work. As soon as I had told her, she immediately said “Why does it smell in there?”

Needless to say, I don’t think that the majority of the community was that upset when the Penn Traffic company went under. The patrons of Quality typically ranged from irate elderly women, to irate morbidly obese people. This story will cover the latter. It was a typical day in the summer of 2008, and I was front ending. When someone front ends,

it’s more or less a glorified cashier who has to help the other cashiers. So I was just standing minding my business, when this girl Jessica called me over because she needed help. When I asked her what she needed, she just pointed to the customer in her line with a confused and disturbed look on her face. Let me try to paint a picture of just what this gentleman looked like. He was a very large man, weighing in at around a staggering 400-500lbs. The man was also in a rascal. For those of you who don’t know what a rascal is, it is basically a motorized cart for people who have no other disability other than the fact that they are severely overweight and want to avoid walking at any cost. So I asked the man “How can I help you” and he replied quickly by saying “Oh, yeah hi. You see, my wheelchair ran out of batteries.

I need you to push me out of the store.” At first, I really didn’t know how to react. I was completely taken aback, how does someone have the audacity ask that you push their massive ass out of a grocery store? I also really didn’t like how he thought it was

a common request, and that he wasn’t out of line in the least. Seeing that I had no other options, I got behind him and I tried to give him a push. Initially, there was absolutely no movement, so he turned to me and said “Oh I forgot, you have to pull the break release otherwise I won’t move. It’s located near my lower back.” So at this point in time, I’m searching through a man’s back fat to find a lever that at this point I’m not even sure exists. Luckily(?) I found the lever and we were on our way. It was a pretty slow moving trip, but at least he was on his way out. At this point, I had noticed that everyone in the store, employees and customers alike, were watching.

Some even had phones out. Were any helping? Of course not. So I finally got the man out of the door, and I just left him in our parking lot. Now you may think that’s terrible, but honestly was I supposed to wheel this fat man home? Just another day at Quality I suppose.

We know! UB + “some stupid thing people do” is used way too much on campus. Forgive us!

GENERATION September 7, 2010

Meet Your Generation and what we did this summer Catherine Prendergastcopy editor My summer can be described in one simple, edible, Italian word. For my full time, sometimes overtime, summer job I would scoop it, serve it, and describe its decadency to every customer that came into the closet sized store. As soon as a potential buyer put their first foot inside, my coworkers and I would be ready with a sample spoon supporting a small taste of this cold, creamy, severely overpriced dessert. Five to six days a week I worked at this store, and I actually spent the daytime on Fourth of July at a food and music event in Battery Park, standing behind our company’s booth, trying to serve it to the very sweaty passerby. Let me tell you what a disaster that was. The product melted everywhere. The light green pistachio oozed into all the Madagascar vanilla, which in turn dripped into the Belgian chocolate and orange sorbet. Still haven’t guessed? The word is gelato, the thing that whether I liked it or not, basically dictated my summer. After a day of closing, I would crawl into my bed at three in the morning and have dreams about it. I guess it dictated my brain too. But it was not all bad; I had some of the most amazing coworkers, new friends and old. It was a job after all, and in this economy, who can possibly complain about that? If only I could minor in gelato.

Josh Q. Newmancontributing writer

Summer can be a metamorphosis of sorts. “I had that familiar conviction,” F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, “that life was beginning over again with the summer.” When the earth’s axis tilts ever so slightly in our favor, people tend to get overzealous with the possibilities in their lives. Time for more fun, more excitement, more change. No season has quite the allure or the capability as summer does to start a romantic revolution. For me, however, it was different. My summer was characterized by an anticipation of change rather than the catalyst for it.

Read my article on the next page and you will understand. I spent the months following the end of the spring semester mostly working and waiting for Ireland.

Though I cannot do justice with just one paragraph about my experience at Tops, I must say, it kind of sucked. Anyway, summer was a means to an end, and for the last month or so I could not get Ireland off my mind. It became a very anxious time. I was on tenterhooks, patiently waiting out limbo for an entirely new life experience.

Of course I had great times with my friends and family, but otherwise I did little in my free time besides read and think about the Emerald Isle. If April is the cruelest month, August is the most tedious. If life starts over again with the summer, then I regrettably missed the mark. But who knows? Maybe summer is different in Ireland.

Kathryn Przybylamanaging editor Having grown up here in Buffalo, I made it a priority for myself to snag an internship in a big city after my junior year at UB. Competing with hundreds of students with a similar goal, I was ultimately successful and landed a job at CNN this past summer. On my downtime from the bustling media world, I took full advantage of my time in the concrete jungle. Every waking moment I was not working, I RSVP’d and attended as many events, openings, and launches as I possibly could; so many in fact that I was able to create my own event blog to document my city adventures. Over the course of three months, I chatted with Kathy Griffin at a book signing, met Kristin Chenoweth at a Broadway CD release, hung out with Russell Brand on the set of his new film, and chilled with Michael Cera at the Apple store. Overall, I like to think that I was successful in having an epic summer. There was an insanely awesome event almost every day of the week. And if I didn’t have to sleep, I would have gone to more of them. My favorite you ask? It was definitely attending the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic where Prince Harry (yes, the British ginger) played in a charity polo match. I felt like I was living in a Ralph Lauren ad.

ubgeneration.com | 9

By Josh Q. Newman

The Four-Leaf Journal

I’m Shipping Up to Dublin

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a history of accepting predominantly Protestants in an infamously Catholic nation (of course, I’m sure it will warmly embrace a nice Jewish boy as well.) Older than Harvard, Trinity College is located in the heart of the city and has bred such noble men such as Jonathan Swift, Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, and a plethora of Irish poets, leaders, and nationalists. I intend on studying philosophy and English to bolster my English major and philosophy minor credentials. But more importantly, I intend on absorbing as much as I can – cultural, historical, alcoholic, and otherwise – in my relatively brief stay in Ireland.

For a long time, studying abroad was not a lavishly attractive option. Studying abroad seemed too exotic, a lavish expenditure of time and money. I can understand a Spanish major learning the language in Spain or an anthropology major exploring Germanic roots in Finland, but I’m English major. How is my reading of Cooper or Pynchon or any other Englishlanguage writer for that matter going to differ over there as opposed to over here?

It seemed to me that a book was a book.

UB has a wonderful English department with great, erudite professors, so it was easy for me to buckle down in dear Buffalo. Besides, as someone who wanted to pursue a PhD in English, I was going to devote my whole life

reading and studying books. One semester abroad didn’t appear to matter much.

I have spent my whole life in Buffalo and I wasn’t about ready to leave, either.

Although I can’t say that I never left the country (I have been to Mexico, the Caribbean, and Canada), I haven’t left Buffalo for more than two weeks at a time.

I went to elementary school, middle school, high school, and college here. It’s my home. As someone who once wept over the possibility of merely dorming at UB, the thought of moving out of the country was terrifying. My mother, herself an immigrant, always wanted to me to study abroad, and it became an apprehensive issue. I always told her that it was something that didn’t interest me, that it served no higher purpose and wouldn’t change me at all.

After all, isn’t that why students go abroad, to change as a person? To find yourself? To get that one shot at effervescent happiness that would lead to an epiphany of the soul? Hmm. It may sound like I’m exaggerating but in my mind, that’s what I kept hearing. Almost all commentary on the subject, from my counselor to friends that have studied abroad, has said the same thing: studying abroad will change your life. Look no farther than “Eat, Pray, Love,” the 2006 travel mem-

oir of a lonely divorcee that traveled the world and coincidently found herself in the process. It stayed on the New York Times bestseller list for at least 158 weeks. For fuck’s sake, Julia Roberts! The entire country seemed to buy into the “travel the world and you will find happiness” bit.

But I found the notion a bit quixotic.

I mean, do you really need to go abroad to be comfortable with yourself? Is continent-hopping on a scale that would make Salman Rushdie blush the cure for what ails you? Come on. What about the people that can’t study abroad; are they damned to eternal ignorance and misery?

If there is one thing that I don’t like, it’s doing what Oprah thinks you should do.

Studying abroad, like all the other extravagant options for people with money, was a boxed, patented pat-on-the-back that ignores what you already have. I had it so good in the United States, a life that most people in the world would die for. It was self-righteous and a cliché. My plans for the past two years allowed no room for studying abroad or other so-called “life-changing experiences” that seemed so narcissistic and out-of-touch with my intents and purposes.

Of course, I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and have since changed my mind. This is just what I thought, in bare terms, at the time. And even in this

Trinity College

This page looked super-green on our computers. No joke. Stupid economy.

oing to Ireland is a happy accident. I never, decisively at least, considered studying abroad until I turned in my applications to do so. It was a back up plan for previous engagements – engagements that up until a few months ago I was dead certain of following. And yet here I am writing this, on the verge of living in Dublin for the next four months, anxiously awaiting what I have been working and yearning for since February. So to understand why I’m doing this, you need to learn about my tenure at UB: the serendipitous turn of events and the staggering disappointments that have confined me to a wonderful, exhilarating alternative.

Before I go on, a few details. I left Buffalo on August 25th and arrived in Dublin the following day. I’m a student at Trinity College, Ireland’s oldest and most prestigious academic institution. I start classes in September and will stay for the full fall semester. My return, though not yet determined, will most likely be in January.

Trinity is modeled after sister colleges in the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge (Oriel and St. John’s, respectively) and indeed is a testament to English sovereignty. Queen Elizabeth I founded Trinity under letters patent in 1592 in an attempt to, among other things, consolidate England’s then imperial stranglehold on the island. It is a Protestant school and had

mindset I had great respect for people that decided to study abroad. But it just wasn’t for me. I suppose my cynicism came from a reactionary mechanism that further entrenched my attachment to Buffalo. But that would all change quite abruptly.

Last fall, in the beginning of my sophomore year, I wanted to go to graduate school. Barely out of my first year in college and already I wanted to enter a prestigious PhD program in some Ivy League school. I had the credits to do it. Thanks to thirteen AP exams I took in high school I entered UB with 56 credits. That allowed me to jump directly into English and complete the major within two years. What followed, logically, was to become a starving, literature-craven PhD candidate at the age of twenty. What drove me to make the plunge so early was brazen ambition. But, really, it was my ego. I wanted to be the first person in history to graduate college in two years. (Think what it would say ten years from now on my Wikipedia page!) I wholeheartedly convinced myself, despite the reservations from my counselor, my mother, and my professors (including one of whom that wrote a recommendation letter for me), that graduating in two years would propel me to greatness. So I indiscriminately applied to sixteen graduate schools, among them Harvard, Yale, and UCLA, and awaited their reply, banking on the amazed reaction the admission offi-

cer would have that I excelled so quickly.

That, and only that given the intense competitiveness of these schools and indeed of any PhD program, was my meal ticket.

Then one day in January, when all my applications were filed, I happened to talk to a former English professor of mine. As we were chatting I managed ever so intentionally to blurt out that I was graduating in May and that I wanted to earn a PhD. She looked at me. PhDs take time, she said. Colleges and universities care about the quality of the work and not the brevity of time in which it was created. Two years of undergraduate may seem insignificant, but growth requires all the time you can get. I’ve seen your work: you are not fucking ready. Okay, she didn’t say that last part, although I have a suspicion that her sardonic gaze implied exactly that. Either way, she urged me to stay as an undergraduate. Do more writing. Take more classes. Join more clubs. Do something cool, perhaps like study abroad.

Our conversation lasted for about an hour. The experience had my stomach turning. Though didn’t want to admit it, what she said made sense. Perhaps graduating in two years was too presumptuous.

Maybe it would be best to stay on for at least another year or two and do something different. My chances of actually getting accepted by any of these places (nil) were starting to sink in. I started to freak

TOP TEN WAY$ TO FUND YOUR LAW DEGREE

out about what would happen in May if I had a degree but nothing else. So I was determined to find a back-up plan. I wasn’t excited about the extra applications but it is better, always better, than to get totally screwed.

What led me to chose to study abroad in Ireland was right in front of my eyes: my James Joyce class. It was an honors course exclusively dedicated to James Joyce. We immediately delved into his works, which of course, dealt intrinsically with his native Ireland. Joyce was quintessentially Irish, a Dubliner who would never truly leave the city despite his brazen self-imposed exile that lasted thirty years. The greatest author in the English language, perhaps second only to Shakespeare and Milton in my opinion, wrote about Ireland with such tenacity and lugubrious, paradoxical insight that the country became alive. I don’t mean to sound sentimental; Joyce was very critical of Ireland and at times wrote harshly about his own people. Yet the man who lost his faith but never his Irish accent had a spell on me. Within a month I was enticed with the figure of Joyce and the country he was from. It came to a point where it wasn’t enough to read about it. I had to see it for myself.

So that is how I came to study abroad.

I rushed to complete my applications (despite the fact that most people only apply to one school, I had to outdo myself and

apply to two) to Trinity and University College, Dublin. I was accepted by both and decided to go with Trinity. It was the more expensive of the two, but it was closer to Dublin and, from what I have heard, offered the best education available.

As you may have guessed, in April I was rejected by all but one of the graduate schools I applied to, but by then I didn’t care. I was doing something totally new and exciting. My fears about going away from home evaporated (I found myself getting bored with the place, anyway) and my cynicism about studying abroad was replaced by a genial optimism about new things and places. For someone who never truly left his comfort zone, I was ready to embark for the New World. I seemed to placate everyone with the move, including myself. Even the professor I had talked to was pleased. She told me to take a lot of pictures. And I will.

So there you have it. I intend on writing more about my experiences abroad when, of course, I get there. “The Four-Leaf Journal” is the product of a total change of heart, a maturation I couldn’t nor anyone else could have imagined. Dublin is the best thing I could have asked for, and up until recently I didn’t even ask for it.

10. Hit the tables or slot machines

5. Collect cans & bottles from the

9. Try selling your roommate’s new

4. Rent your car to stranded fresh-

at one of the casinos in Niagara Falls to hit it big. They take campus cash right?

ipad online & act surprised when they notice it’s missing.

first couple weeks of parties. The frat guys are too hung over to turn them in anyways.

men looking to hit up the mall this weekend. Zipcar anyone?

8. Turn your apartment into a book- 3. Sign up to get paid for particistore that rips off students by selling them overpriced textbooks. Oh wait, we already have one of those.

pating in weird medical studies. We have a Med-school here. There are endless possibilities.

7. Get ahead, and start scalping UB 2. Become a teacher assistant.

Football tickets from all the sold out games this year...

6. Pursue a hip hop career and get booked for next semester’s Spring Fest. Can you say young money?

1. See if any professors are inter-

ested in paying you to write a good review for them on ratemyprofessor. com. It’s not a bribe, just a guarantee to fill their spring semester classes. ubgeneration.com | 11

NYC to UB

by Catherine Prendergast

Emily sits comfortably in a lime green bean bag chair as she is asked the same questions she hears on a daily basis. Anyone who is not from New York City is curious as to why she left a hometown where many people only dream to visit and traveled seven hours across the state to study at none other than the University at Buffalo. Why leave the city, and for that matter, why Buffalo? Well, believe it or not, there are many reasons.

Emily grew up in Greenpoint, a mostly polish neighborhood in Brooklyn. Like most city children, she learned early how to navigate the streets by walking endlessly each day.

Eventually when she was thirteen she hit one of the most significant turning points for a city kid’s freedom – she could take the subway by herself. For all you suburban kids, think learning how to drive, only substitute the car for public transportation.

“I had gone to public school my entire life,” Emily relates, “but junior year of high school, I started thinking about Brown.” Cornell was second on her list, and the rest in-

cluded a planned mix of CUNY’s and SUNY’s.

“I applied to Buffalo, Binghamton, and Stony Brook.” With her stellar grade point average and in depth extra-curricular activities, Emily was waitlisted at her first choice, and accepted into her second. Emily now receives a whole new set of questions: Why Buffalo, why not the city, wait, why not Cornell?

“To be perfectly blunt, a lot of it was money. I did not receive any financial aid from them, and unfortunately, while my parents are helping me out with many of the expenses, spending fifty thousand a year would have been too much.”

Emily came to the decision that the University at Buffalo was the best way to go. “UB had two things that were very important. The first is that it is one of the main research facilities in the SUNY system. Secondly, UB has my major, pharmacology and toxicology.”

Emily pauses, and remembers something else with a smile. “I could also afford Buffalo.”

With Buffalo’s top courses and reason-

able tuition, Emily seems to have made the perfect decision. However, the questions still linger, does not New York have many leading colleges? Is New York not the place that is full of opportunity? And disregard school, how could you leave New York’s cultural and social sphere?

“I needed a change,” Emily responds, directly and casually. “I think I speak for the majority of city kids when I say that I had lived in the city my entire life, and I wanted to experience something new.” Emily also addresses the fact that there are many great colleges throughout the five boroughs.

“Manhattan alone has Columbia and NYU, as well as several top art schools. Brooklyn and Queens also have amazing schools. To be perfectly honest, the city is crowded with talent. UB stands out.”

Emily is happy she can study at a place that is the best in the area, as opposed to having enormous competition a block away.

She is also content with Buffalo’s social and cultural offerings. “Buffalo has a great music

scene. There are incredible art galleries and events. You just have to look. You can always find something fun and exciting to do, it is just not put directly in front of your face.”

Emily also addresses a fact that many people who do not live in the city do not even realize. “City kids are spoiled in a way. Everything is accessible. Buffalo has really made me appreciate my hometown, as well as a different life style.”

The University at Buffalo has offered Emily the chance to study a very specific major that very few colleges even have. The tuition is decent, and Buffalo itself has proved to be a fun place to live, even for us spoiled, jaded New Yorkers. Emily plans on moving back to the city after school, all the more reason she chose to live somewhere different for once.

“How can you possibly live in the same place your entire life?” Being from Manhattan myself, I could not agree more.

The Ever Elusive Job Market

by Kathryn Przybyla The media may be complaining that there are still no jobs available, but the reality is that things are beginning to look up. According to the United States Department of Labor’s Bureau of labor Statistics, the national unemployment rate for June 2010 was the lowest it’s been since July 2009, coming in at 9.5%.

Though that number is still high, it’s a small step in the right direction for a better job market. In total, there were 39 states, and Washington D.C., that reported a decline in unemployment rates for June as well.

But to some people, national averages really don’t mean anything. All students are really concerned with is how they will be personally affected in their local market. We decided to look to the source to see how things really are.

After getting a chance to talk to some recent UB graduates, the message is clear; being over-prepared will land you a job.

According to Nick Baxter, a recent graduate with a bachelor’s in economics, it’s never too early to start your search.

“You [seniors] should have started looking last year. Figure out when everyone else is looking for job, and start 6 months before…Pay no mind to people that tell you it’s too early. They’ll be the ones serving french fries next summer.”

Currently, Baxter is working as a financial advisor for the firm Alliance Advisory Group, covering the Rochester, Buffalo, and Finger Lakes areas. Planning ahead, he was no stranger to the company when he graduated this past May. “I originally interned here last summer, I began with the end in mind and wasn’t leaving without a job offer going into my senior year.”

Bryan Engelmann, a recent graduate with a Bachelor of Science in business administration, agrees that planning ahead is important, but has had a different experience post-grad.

“I think that I probably should have done more to network during the school year, especially with people who have connections”, he said. “I was a bit nervous to start looking for work because I didn’t really want to grow up, but now that I’m out of school and still without a job, I can see that I should have done more.”

Engelmann is currently unemployed but still optimistic when offering advice to others in similar situations.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t find anything for awhile. Lots of people are out of work, and lots of com

panies just aren’t hiring. It’s not your fault”, he said. “I read an article on Yahoo saying that something like 85% of people find their jobs through other people, not online. So if you’re sitting on your computer being antisocial all day, it’s time to take your hand off the mouse and start socializing.”

While some recent graduates are learning the hiring process as they go along, here at UB we have a priceless resource that too few students are taking advantage of.

Career Services, located at 259 Capen Hall, offers many different tools and services that can help students explore options for majors and careers. From resume reviews to practice interviews, there is no reason why students should not stop in their office a few times a year.

Arlene F. Kaukas, Director of Career Services, is confident that students can be successful in their prospective job hunting.

“While the economy continues to have its challenges, hiring is occurring; especially for people with college degrees”, Kaukas revealed.

“A recent survey of top employers conducted by the National Association of Colleges and Employers reported that employers were planning on hiring about 5% more college graduates in 2009-2010 than they did in 2008-2009. This positive hiring trend was the first such indication since the fall of 2008 when the economic indicators began to slip.”

There is still hope! Although you may not be able to land your dream job right out of school, there are other options available. Stephanie Brescia is a May 2010 graduate with a Bachelor of Fine Arts and a concentration in photography.

While contemplating what she could have done to improve her chances at landing a great job, Brescia realized that getting the best experience is not always financially feasible.

“I did have a paid internship that was wonderful for two summers, but it wasn’t really what I wanted to do in the long run.

I needed to make money through the summer because I pay for most of my expenses while at school”, she said.

“When you need to support yourself financially it’s very difficult to commit to

Figure out when everyone else is looking for job, and start 6 months before…Pay no mind to people that tell you it’s too early. They’ll be the ones serving french fries next summer.”

something not paid, no matter how badly you want it.”

Brescia is currently working as a part time specialist at the Apple store near her home, and as a full time junior recruiter for creative positions at a staffing agency in White Plains, NY. Another recurring realization from most of the recent graduates we spoke to was the importance of internships. Stephen Marth, who graduated this past May with a Bachelor of Arts in journalism and mass communication, English and psychology is a prime example.

“If you don’t do one [an internship] prior to your senior year or too late into it or not even at all, you are way back in the race. This is a perfect opportunity to get your foot in the door”, he said.

Marth is currently an Assignment Editor for YNN Buffalo. “At this station alone, myself and two UB graduates were offered jobs after graduation… Get your face known, make your presence known, and show them why you are the best.”

Focusing on your studies, applying for internships, and re-vamping your resume are all great ways to improve your chances at landing a job once you graduate.

Some have been lucky enough to land a dream job and others are still waiting for that promising offer. But keeping a goal of where you want to end up can help.

“There are too many miserable people out there because they hate the path they’ve chosen because it was easier”, says Lauren Skompinski a recent graduate with a bachelor’s in international studies and political science.

“Go for what makes you happy as much as you can, even if that means you need to work harder for it.”

There is no doubt that you will face stiff competition when entering the workforce.

Thousands of graduates every year are leaving school with the same goal in mind; to land a great job.

“You are attending college for many reasons, and one of them is to pursue a profession or some type of post-graduate experience that is fulfilling”, Kaukas says.

“Engaging in your career development will provide you with an opportunity to integrate what you are learning with your passion and strengths to determine where you might best practice that upon graduation.”

ubgeneration.com | 13

WE ARE {not}

“I’m going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat.”

With that simple sentence, Lebron James went from the god of Cleveland to the greatest Benedict Arnold since Johnny Damon. With that sentence, I switched to Kobe.

“There is no way Lebron is going to hold a press conference just to announce that he’s leaving us. He definitely has to have some shred of class.” – Hypothetical Cavaliers fan who doesn’t actually exist Sports players are notorious for being egotistical and chock-full of arrogance.

Ask the former high school star athlete about his glory days. I’m sure he/she was the best and his/her team won everything.

But the Lebron James press conference, where he officially announced his intentions of leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers, proved that an entirely new breed of narcissism existed. Tiger Woods and Roger Clemens were both saying “Wow, this guy really thinks he can get away with anything!”

Lebron wasn’t only stating that conventional rules don’t apply to him, he was holding a primetime special to prove that rules don’t apply to him. He was running onto the stage of the VMA’s and interrupting Taylor Swift to satisfy his God complex.

Kanye West was appalled by the way Lebron James handled himself in front of a camera.

Here is a forewarning; I will probably never have a successful career in sports writing. No matter how hard I try, every sports article I ever write will eventually come back to the Bills or Sabres. But I guess I will enjoy preaching to the choir of

Buffalo while I have the chance.

Ready?

Being a lifelong Bills/Sabres fan, “winning” isn’t necessarily something I’m used to.

I’m used to the feeling of watching a team intercept Tony Romo 5 times only to lose on a last minute field goal on Monday Night Football. I’m used to seeing Miller crouching in a net after another playoff loss when I had completely convinced myself that “this” was the year. I’m used to feeling hopeless.

I’m used to feeling sick to my stomach that the fate of my beloved Bills is tied to the health of a guy who looks like he was at the opening of the Ark of the Covenant in Indian Jones.

When Lebron chose to go to a winner for less money than stay with a loser for more money, I felt even more hopeless.

Money is the only thing the Bills have, and the Bills don’t even have THAT much. Crap.

I guess that if Lebron thinks he is fooling the annals (the immature side of my brain is giggling) of history with this move, and that if he wins a ton of championships he’ll be remembered with the likes of Michael Jordan and Larry Bird, then good for him.

Now before this turns into too much of a Lebron James bashing party (which is probably way too late), I will give him credit on one thing; he may have just revolutionized the way a professional sports team is assembled. It wasn’t about the big market in New York City or New Jersey, it was about winning.

And perhaps the rules don’t actually apply to Lebron either, but that still leaves him looking like a jerk. Even the fact that the primetime event was for charity

“For all intents and purposes, Cleveland is Buffalo; A small market city with a rabid fan base, but no rings.”

ALL

WITNESSES

by Steve Neilans

couldn’t make him look good. Lebron has lost a chance to earn a championship, and has gained a chance to be handed a championship. Kobe forced Shaq out of Los Angeles to prove he could win a title on his own, and Lebron left Shaq to prove he couldn’t.

Ouch.

“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE” – Dan Gilbert, majority owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers I’m not a Cleveland Cavaliers fan.

I was barely a Lebron James fan. But watching how Lebron handled his situation with the city of Cleveland made me feel like I had magically come down with hepatitis. How could he do that to his hometown? What if Patrick Kane was a Sabre and did that? I would definitely be pissed enough to punch a cab driver.

For all intents and purposes, Cleveland is Buffalo; A small market city with a rabid fan base, but no rings. Maybe that’s why it hurt me so much to see a city go through that sort of thing. Buffalo and Cleveland both had their opportunities to win titles for about 4 years, and neither could.

Buffalo and Cleveland are both cities which are in jeopardy of losing professional sports teams.

Woe is me. The sky is falling. Leave Britney alone.

While I never liked how George Steinbrenner went about his business growing up, he definitely knew how to keep a professional sports team. Also, I can respect him for being able to do one thing better than anyone else in the world; creating a “brand”. I don’t think that anyone can argue against the Yankees being one of the world’s most famous sports teams. And according to Forbes, the Yankees are worth $1.6 billion; more than double what the next team is worth (Red Sox at $870 million).

The Bills are worth $799 million, and the Sabres are worth around $170 million if you’re curious.

Lebron in New York just seemed so right. He would be able to wear his Yankees hat all day, while making more money than Oprah. Being famous and wealthy in New York City: doesn’t that sound like the dream? For Lebron, no.

The Bills in Toronto just seems so right. They would be able to sell out stadiums and make their new owner a ton of money (probably less than Oprah).

The grass is greener on the other side of the border right? Hopefully not.

If you are still with me, congratulations, this is where I pull everything together and tie it into a bow.

For years, everyone knew that Lebron would play for the Knicks, just like everyone knows the Bills will move to Toronto. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Toronto is a large market, but it isn’t a large sports market. When have you seen a sellout stadium during a Jays or Raptors game? Have you even seen a Jays or Raptors game?

Why write an article totally comparing Lebron’s situation to Buffalo’s situation? Honestly, I have no clue. Perhaps this was sort of a catharsis for me. But I am sure there are other delusional fans like me who will read anything I spew out about Bills and Sabres. Super Bowl Champs 2011!!!!! *slowly loses credibility as a writer* For all we know, Jeremy Jacobs could sell the Bruins and buy the Bills and become the hero of Buffalo (If he ever does that, I’m totally using this article as proof that I said it first).

And playing sports in Toronto isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyways, just ask Chris Bosh.

COMMUTING 101

Do take the time to walk around campus be- Don’t head straight home to nap in front

It’s that time of year again. The time when college students take over the city and Buffalo once again becomes a college town. The end of summer is full of chaos and the excitement of moving back into student housing, at least for some students. For some of us, the start of the school year means changing work availability, buying textbooks, and nothing more. For commuter students, especially those of us who have grown up in Buffalo, not much changes come that last week in August.

So how is a commuter supposed to get back into the swing of things on campus? Sure it takes a little effort, but follow these few tips and it won’t be torture.

fore classes start. As a commuter you spend less time on campus so chances are, you don’t know where every building is. As summer winds down, grab a friend and locate all of your classrooms to make those first few days less hectic.

Do make an effort to attend on campus

events such as UB Welcome and Homecoming.

It’s very easy to miss out on typical college experiences when living off campus. So be sure to plan ahead so you can attend major school events.

Do join an on campus group or organization, and be an active member. When commuting, it takes more effort to make friends on campus. Joining a club or sports team allows you to meet people who share similar interests.

Do put Campus Cash or Dining Dollars on

your UB card at the beginning of the semester.

As convenient as credit cards are, the Union doesn’t accept them. So when you’re craving caffeine or a snack, it’s either cash or UB card.

of the TV or go right to work after you’re done with school for the day. Instead, venture over to the student Union. Not only do you never know who you’ll run into while there, it is also a good place to see what different on campus organizations are doing and to get involved.

Don’t let the temptation to skip an after-

noon class so you can work take over. We can all use the extra money, but that extra eight bucks isn’t worth falling behind in your classes.

Don’t be a hermit. Instead of popping

those headphones in the moment you step outside the classroom, keep the iPod in your bag and let the sounds of campus entertain you. By skipping the headphones, you make yourself more approachable by fellow classmates who may want to chat.

Windows Phone 7 After the resounding success of Windows 7 (150 million licenses sold and counting!), Microsoft is ready to get back in the smartphone game and throw down with Apple’s massively popular iPhone 4 and Google’s quickly growing Android platform. They released the Kin, the “not so smart” phones aimed at teens, which flopped like a fish out of water only a few weeks after its debut.

With its lion share of the smartphone market seriously eroded, Microsoft needed nothing short of a fresh start to be competitive once again. The old Windows Mobile OS and its legacy apps had been set ablaze, and out of the ashes, a brand new platform emerged aptly named “Windows Phone 7”. Perhaps “7” is the key to their success, because Microsoft might have a winner on their hands. They might even have the mythical and elusive “iPhone killer”.

Hardware: Minimum Specs Being mainly in the software licenses business, no actual phones will come from Microsoft, but from a plethora of companies like Samsung, HTC, LG, Dell and Asus. In order to guarantee a con16 | ubgeneration.com

sistent experience across Windows phones, Microsoft has laid down a set of hardware specifications manufacturers must implement to run the OS. These include: •Large capacitive multi-touch 800x400 touchscreen •Three specific hardware buttons on front of the device for start, back and search, and two others for camera and power •Powerful mobile processor: Qualcomm Snapdragon with DirectX9 graphics support •256MB of RAM or more and at least 8GB of internal storage •At least a 5-megapixel camera •FM Radio So what is different in Windows Phone 7, compared to the older versions? Everything.

I mean really everything. It’s nothing like any phone platform you’ve seen before.

Building off the Zune HD’s fantastic typographic user interface, Windows Phone 7 is easily the most distinct looking platform coming to the market. Featuring the Metro UI, text takes center stage, zooming in and out of view, encouraging the user to swipe left or right for more information. Naviga-

by Seon McDonald

tion is intuitive and the touch controls are fluid.

The Homescreen Apps are organized into hubs according to similar functions, with tiles that show live updates instead of the typical rows of icons. The live tiles display current information such as missed calls, new messages, weather and upcoming calendar events. In short, the live tiles almost make the phone “come alive” with glance-able information useful to the user.

The idea of the hubs reduces the need to jump from app to app, as hubs are extensible. For example, Pandora and Last.fm would be located in the Zune hub, and Flickr would integrate into the Pictures hub.

When it comes to integration, Windows Phone 7 takes the cake. The “People” hub deeply meshes with your Facebook account, pulling in all your friends, their updates and latest photos and combining them with your contacts. You can update your Facebook status or write directly to a friend’s wall, all from within the hub. Social networking is essentially baked into the OS. All Windows Phone 7 devices will feature Microsoft’s prominent hubs that would be difficult to find on other platforms. These GENERATION September 7, 2010

include the Office hub. You can edit your Word, Excel and PowerPoint documents on the go. OneNote syncs your notes to the cloud available online and on your desktop.

The music hub is the Zune player. It’s the exact interface lifted from the Zune HD, complete with an FM tuner and a music store for easy one-click downloading. If you subscribe to the Zune Pass, you can download or stream unlimited music and keep 10 tracks per month. Videos are baked into this hub too, and services like Netflix and Hulu are expected to release apps for on demand streaming.

Most exciting though is the one hub that really sets Windows Phone apart; the Xbox Live hub. What’s unique about this hub is its tie-in to Microsoft’s popular gaming service, Xbox Live. Besides the standard gaming options like single-user game play, users with the Xbox can start playing at home, pause, and resume playing on their phones on the go! There will be collaborative play, though not full on multiplayer at launch. Games on the Windows phones can be used as a companion piece, to unlock achievements, view and edit your avatar, browse gamer profiles and try new

titles. A quickly expanding list of launch title games for the platform has already been announced including Crackdown, Star Wars, Asphalt 5, Halo Waypoint, Bejeweled, Guitar Hero and more.

Microsoft is serious about its intentions in gaining traction in the market. It is evident they put a lot of thought and work into building an OS that’s unique, innovative and useful. However there are still some gaping holes like the lack of multitasking for 3rd party apps, and no copyand-paste at launch. Shortcomings aside, there is a lot of promise here, from the tight cloud services where all your photos, contacts and notes seamlessly back up to Windows Live, graphic intensive games that tie into the Xbox, and a clean, intuitive and panoramic interface that makes the competition seem “prehistoric” in comparison. Here’s to hoping hardware manufactures put forth decent hardware with a design that matches the standards set by the iPhone 4. Most of all, its comforting to see that tough competition forces innovation, which only benefit the consumer in the end.

ADVERTISE WITH GENERATION MAGAZINE

IT WORKS.

Artist Spotlight: Janelle Monáe

Unique, visionary, audacious, trendsetter, retro, and futuristic are just few of the words being spoken about Janelle Monáe. In fact, it is almost contradictory using both retro and futuristic to describe the high energy, funkinfused music that has garnered Monáe a surprise Grammy nomination.

Not content with just recording songs, Monáe managed to weave an entire mythology of android robots and galactic chases into her music that metaphorically comments on today’s social and political issues. It’s an epic musical space-chasing odyssey that takes the

listener on a wild ride into a fictional wonderland.

Discovery After Sean “Diddy” Combs quickly signed Monáe to his label “Bad Boy Records” in what he described as one of his most important signings as a producer, two CD’s were released between 2008 and 2010.

Suite I The first CD “Suite I: The Chase” begins the story of the android Cyborg and Monáe’s alter ego also known as “Cindy Mayweather” who falls in love desperately with a human

Album Review: Katy Perry “Teenage Dreams”

mands “I want to see your Peacock ” to repetitious effect. It’s downright racy and nuns in every corner weep for their fallen daughter.

The album is a rehash of every pop song you’ve heard before, no originality here. That not to say it’s bad, rather it’s the candy flavor of the month. Summer smash hit, “California Gurls” is surprisingly good in a coy and flirtatious way that skirts between cute and indecent. It’s every pervert’s dream; “cute blue eyed blond girl” singing about “Warm, wet and wild, places”. As if the album couldn’t induce cardiac arrest in the nearest grandmother already, Perry launches into an expletive ridden tirade against her ex, who we can guess is Travis McCoy, in “Circle the Drain”. Lawlessness and reckless abandon prevails in “Last Friday Night” a cautionary

Release August 24th

Katy Perry splashed onto the music scene with her scandal tinged hit single “I kissed a girl” last year. Truth be told there is nothing remotely scandalous about girl on girl action these days, but what raised a few eyebrows was this seemingly church-going girl singing about doing such naughty things. It was destined to be a hit.

Miss Perry continues the provocative trend in her latest album “Teenage Dreams”.

Forgoing all proper nuances, Perry com

name Anthony Greenberg. This is of course banned in the fictional society of Metropolis, and she is scheduled for immediate disassembly. Cindy goes on the run and in the first track “Violet Stars Happy Hunting”, a foot thumping, body moving track, she sings on the hook “And I think to myself, it’s impossible, wait its possible they’re gunning for me, and now they’re after you for loving too”. The track recalls the sounds of Andre 3000 of Out-

kast “Hey ya.” Monáe is often described as the male Andre 3000, with the same brassy, swing inspired sound and quirky retro fashion statement.

The highlight of the first suite is “Many Moons,” a funk-tastic and energetic cry for freedom from the tragedy of an oppressed society. A high concept video for the song was released that featured the cyborg Cindy and robotic copies of herself being auctioned off to the highest bidder. The song ends in a mournful lullaby that urges you to “Change your life”, an introspection of Monáe that rises to a melancholy high in “Sincerely Jane”.

“All of their dreams go down the drain now, Are we really living or just walking dead” she croons on a tune that would make James Brown proud.

Suite II and III Suite II and III on the disc “Archandroid” open with a stunning orchestral arrangement reminiscent of a Bond film, then flows directly into the first track “Dance or Die” featuring a rapping Monáe, or rather her cyborg self, Cindy, who has now realized that

she is a sort of “Messiah” to the oppressed androids. Dance as a tool of liberation. Music as a means of education. The themes are heavy here. Dancing is a must, because almost all the tracks float on drum heavy, rhythmic , synth-funk beats that just get you in the mood. Dancing aside, it’s the lyrics that shine, from the surprising love song “Faster,” where she muses “Watch my powers die, you kryptonite my life,” or in the lead single “Tight Rope,” where she urges you “Whether you’re high or low, you gotta tip on the tightrope,” a metaphor for remaining balanced in the ups and downs of life.

Visionary is an excellent word to describe the music, but exactly what genre can it be categorized under? It is not exactly R&B, and certainly not pop or rock. Instead of trying to box the artistic visions of Monáe into one neat category, one can appreciate the psychedelic, progressive and retro-infused musical stylings as a unique expression of an artist with a story to tell. In her own words she describes it as “a self-empowerment manifesto couched inside a futuristic “emotion-picture” about an android’s battle to overcome oppression”.

Monáe plans to release a graphic novel that fleshes out the mythology and trials of the cyborg Cindy Mayweather. Give the album a spin, close your eyes and emerge yourself into a world much like ours, where the fight for the right to love whoever one please still wages on, and the discrimination is law. Most of all, dance and be free, or die.

tale to teens I hope but sadly might be misconstrued as an anthem.

Though she has ditched her gospel singing background, it’s not to say Perry is incapable of a little introspection. There are a few ballads in the mix including the closing track “Not like the Movies”. It’s cheesy of course and that’s alright, because this album is not to be taken seriously. It is very enjoyable for what it is, light and fluffy pop music geared at teens. Forget about whether she can actually sing as she sounds down right robotic sometimes intentionally, often times not. What the album does succeed on 100% is cementing Katy Perry’s image as an object of desire for hormonal teens everywhere.

ubgeneration.com | 19

literary section The reason why Christopher Hitchens, the great Anglo-American critic, commentator, and polemicist, decided to write his memoir relatively prematurely in the life-game is because of – you guessed it – literature.

In 2008, Hitchens was thumbing through an art magazine when he stumbled upon an exaggerated (to borrow a phrase from Mark Twain) proclamation of his death. The 60 year-old “Vanity Fair” columnist had a revelation of the frugality of life and decided to pen his memoirs before his very last drink. The result, ambitiously titled “Hitch-22,” tries to rectify his public persona as a gargantuan gadfly: the hard-drinking, hard-writing, God-hating bibliophile who seems to have read everything and to have insulted everyone.

If there is any purpose to the memoir, it is Hitchens’s attempt to explain why he is a fire-breathing dogmatist for what’s right. Hitchens, a Leftist-turned-NeoConservative-Marxist, writes at least twice about his belief that if the Left cannot cure the ails of society, then it will inevitably fall to the Right. His falling out with the Left, a position he has readily adhered to for most of his life, has much to do with his training as a spirited freethinker. He is a man that is not afraid to criticize anyone when he feels that person has failed to do the right thing.

“Hitch-22,” like all of his other works, is written with gusto. His unabashed, intellectual wit and sense of irony is forced upon the reader like a surprise springboard. Yet his cool, graceful prose makes it sensible. His narrative comes alive, especially when he writes about his upbringing and his various relationships. The whole thing is like a Churchillian cigar: potent, suave, and meant to be absorbed over a long period of time.

As someone who does not agree with everything he thinks, particularly his view on religion, I can forgive his rash and sometimes hideous (often frequent) attacks against people and ideas he thinks are wrong. With Hitchens, you are not wrong; you are totally wrong.

For someone who does not believe in God, he seems to have a Kantian view of morality. That is, there is a right and a wrong and never the twain shall meet.

If you get on his good side, he seems nice enough, and he does not automatically shut anyone down if that person thinks differently. Civil disagreement, among friends or at least acquaintances, is possible with him. Yet when it

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comes to big issues, such as the war in Iraq and the belief in God, his opinions become tainted with outrage. How can you think this way? Are you that stupid/ cynical/sadistic?

His use of hyperbole is outstanding. He proceeds, for example, to harass and insult every single American president since Kennedy (Kennedy was a “high-risk narcissist,” Johnson “thuggish-looking,” Carter a “creep,” Reagan “lizard-like,” and Clinton “loathsome”; I will leave it to your imagination to what he thought of Nixon). However, he ex-

plains his descriptions of these men with great clarity. He feels passionate that Kennedy got us into a near nuclearfallout and that Carter made the wrong choice in supporting Saddam Hussein during the Iran-Iraq War. And even when he defames someone, he is willing to admit that they may have done some good things at some points.

To me, it seems that his harsh rhetoric is the product of an elitist, worldtraveler mentality that he has acquired through his extensive coverage of truly evil men, such as Argentinean dictator

Christopher Hitchens vs. the World

by Josh Q. Newman

General Jorge Videla and Saddam Hussein. And rightfully so. You need to be smart and clever to be that mean, and Hitchens is certainly that. It is like how Dorothy Parker was famous for sarcasm, or more colloquially, it is like how a cantankerous old man is cranky. You just more or less expect it.

Still, there are some parts where he becomes plain annoying. For example, he describes a waiter as “pimply” and “stringy-haired” and “of appallingly dank demeanor.” His crime? Pointing out that Hitchens’s dinner-mate William Styron, according to his credit card, shared the same name with William Styron. Hitchens’s hatred of stupidity knows no bounds. If you watch him in debates, he feels fully comfortable calling his opponent an idiot (or other insults) whenever he or she slips up. I can only imagine how he would describe me if I ever were to enter his crosshairs: “A pudgy Jew with oily, red-peppered skin and of only lame talent, if any.”

The main problem – indeed the only real problem I found with his memoir – is that he is somewhat inconsistent with his modus operandi. He claims that he gives everyone a fair shake, and someone as sensible as him should know that one could be a good person and still make bad decisions. (He says this much about writer Jorge Luis Borges, who mildly supported the murderous Videla and Pinochet regimes.) Yet, as critic Ian Buruma points out, every person is either a heroic, virtuous savant or a dastardly, malicious tramp. The middleman, or at least people of importance in political or artistic affairs, does not exist. He cannot imagine someone of moderate virtue or of mild vices. He describes most people in extremes.

Even Dick Cheney, a man he does not even attempt to criticize, is portrayed as having “shark-like jaws.” (Note: Do not bother reading this book if you want to find out his opinions on Bush. For someone who drastically and decisively changed American policy for the past eight years, Bush is seldom mentioned.)

The point is that Hitchens makes a living writing in radical terms, and although he methodically supports his views for the most part, it gets tiresome. Similar to a John Irving novel, except that Hitchens’s writing is bearable.

The most emotional and gripping parts of the book are his memories of his education and his ode to Lt. Mark Daily, a young soldier killed in Iraq. Regarding his education, Hitchens writes about British boarding school with an

GENERATION September 7, 2010

literary section amused veteran terror, like a prisonerof-war reminiscing about his experiences. He quotes W.H. Auden’s poem “September 1, 1939” to describe what it was like. He was not exactly a troublemaker but he did spew views – later socialist views – that conflicted with his teachers’. He does not do “The Catcher in the Rye”-like cynicism about school (he is, after all, a very learned man and owes a lot of that to his education) but he is contemptuous of the limitations imposed on him by his teachers, not to mention the frequent bullying, if not done on him, then on others, that existed in the schools. He writes with great honesty and insight about adolescence that few people can convincingly do. Perhaps his most shocking revelation in this chapter of his life is a justbelow-sexual relationship with another male student. He writes that it was only natural and because of that experience he sympathizes with gays and lesbians who can only find love with the same sex. His boarding school experience, as well as his education at Oxford, made him an even more independent and boisterous individual who became the polemic that he is.

Towards the end of the book, after the passage in which he vigorously defends the war in Iraq, he writes about Lt. Daily. Daily was a great American: smart, courageous, thoughtful, and loving. He joined the Army out of faith for his country. Hitchens writes about him because Daily was influenced by his writings. He felt compelled to help Iraq after reading Hitchens’s articles that laid out a moral case for war, and at some point wanted to contact him as a pseudo-frontline reporter. (Regarding Iraq, Hitchens underscores the brutality of Saddam as the sole rationale for war. He makes a compelling case for the drawn-out and unpopular conflict, and even if you do not agree with him – as most Americans and the rest of the world do not – you have to admit he makes some good points. He argues that Saddam was so bellicose, so fascist, and so genocidal that if the United States did not stop him he would have driven his country to oblivion and would have dragged the world with it.

He also writes that the “anti-war” movement was driven by misconception, moral relativism, and a tacit approval of Saddam’s regime. Say want you want about Bush; you cannot justify Saddam. That, and small but largely ignored cases Hitchens cites of Saddam’s WMD program, is enough for him.)

Hitchens becomes emotional when writing about Daily. You can sense his anguish about losing a reader who took his loyalty to the next level. He made efforts to connect to his family and peers and they reciprocated with overwhelming support. The passage struck me for being unusually sensitive. This is a man who made meanness cool. For someone like him to be so open about his emotions is rare, and touching at that.

Hitchens makes a stride to show that he is human and that despite his notoriety as a prick, he is a prick with heart. If you are to skim the book, at least read these ten pages or so, as they are definitely worth your time and moneyAs for the rest of the book, it is up to you.

People of the Noam Chomsky/Leftist tent would definitely not like it, for two reasons: Hitchens’s very hawkish and unapologetic views since 9/11, and his withering attack against his former colleague on “The Nation,” a man who, as he points out, said immediately after the terrorist attack that the moral balance between Al Qaeda and the United States was slightly favorable toward the former. Yet if there is one thing about the Hitch, it is that he is non-partisan.

This is a man who vehemently opposed the Vietnam War (he called the Vietcong and North Vietnamese attack on Tet “valiant”) and the CIA’s backing of anticommunist regimes, but supported the War in Iraq. This is a man who supports the plight of the Palestinians yet criticized the recent activists who tried to give supplies to the PLO. This is a man who says that the people he despises most are Osama bin Laden and Henry Kissinger. This is a man who has traveled to almost every hotspot on the planet, including Iraq, Iran, and North Korea. Hitchens may not be exactly relatable or even likable, yet his indomitable spirit and his thirst for the truth makes “Hitch-22” a sharp and visceral account of what a pamphleteer is and what he should be.

If you would like to write for Generation Magazine, visit us on ubgeneration.com and apply under the Work For Us tab.

The white walls feel like they’re closing in around me, the furniture appears so clear I feel as though I can see every atom moving on its own. The dining room chairs seem closer, the table is at least two feet closer to my desk than it was a minute ago, and the bar is going to slam into my chair soon if I don’t move. Why is this happening to me again?

It wasn’t always like this. I remember a time when I’d go entire months without a migraine, but now, now they’re more frequent, now they’re more painful. I used to only get them when my stress level kicked into overdrive. They’d hit before tests, before big games, before holidays.

Now they

MIG

getting up; they rush at me, planning to meet in the middle with me in between them. I begin to hyperventilate: stage three. I struggle for air as I begin my flight for the couch. One breath manages to enter my lungs. I hold it in, and bound for the couch across the room.

I land on it, curl into a ball, and bury my face into the cushion.

My body does not move from this position for minutes, maybe hours. If I stay still long enough the walls may recede, the furniture may slide back into place, my stomach may unknot. At the very least my lungs can refill with oxygen if I stay like this. I fall asleep at some point. My body, finally regaining consciousness of itself lengthens out so my muscles can stretch. The stomachache slowly becomes a dull throb in the pit of my stomach.

I wake up to Him kneeling on the floor next to me, gently rubbing my back. I roll onto my side and run my hand through my hair. I’m coated in sweat; it takes me a moment to remember w h a t

RA

c o m e weekly, sometimes daily. Has my stress level gone into high gear permanently?

I blame school. I blame work. I blame everyone close to me. In high school this happened too, for about a month. That month was hell. I’d go to school, stuff my headphones in my ears, and just stare at the clock until the final bell rang. Then I’d go home, lock myself in my room, crawl into bed, and sleep until my mom got home. She still doesn’t know how bad the migraines are.

If I told her, she’d send me to the doctor, I hate doctors. They’re like the devil reincarnated into multiple bodies. I never go unless I’m forced.

Sitting here is making me nauseous, again. I didn’t expect to hit the second stage so quickly, now I’m stuck here. If I move, I’m going to be sick, it’s a proven fact. Back in high school I usually left when I felt the second stage coming, and if I couldn’t, I’d practically run to the nurse to lie down. The stomachache is worse than the headache sometimes. At least with the headache I can somewhat function, I get nothing done but I can make appearances places. With the stomachache, all I can do is lie there, or in this case, sit. I need to try and make it to the couch; I can’t stay in this spinning chair any longer.

One foot down, two feet down, I push myself up gently, grasping the desk to gain my balance. The walls don’t appear to like my

INE

By: Allison Ruiz happened earlier.

“It’s ok, you’re alright now,” He says as his hand runs across my cheek, “I’ll go get you some water.” I remain motionless on the couch, listening to the sounds of the faucet creaking and glass clanking from the kitchen. Slowly, I look around the room. The walls are back in place and the furniture is back in order. The migraine is gone, at least for today.

Author’s note: In this piece I took writing prompt eight from Lab 1 and prompt two from Lab 2. Evenson’s story about the man losing his mind made me think of how some people react to illness. So my plan was to create a sort of mental breakdown for the character due to stress induced migraines.

I wanted the setting to only be relevant in regards to the character’s loss of mental facilities in the comfort of her own home. I didn’t want the setting to place the event in a specific place, but rather help heighten the emotions felt by the character as she basically loses her mind.

ubgeneration.com | 21

parting SHOTS (Not Getting Personal)

by STEVE NEILANS

The Generation has been part of my life since before I’ve even been in college. I can remember taking a beat up high school bus up to Buffalo and visiting UB for the first time. Our tour guide, who wrote for The Spectrum at the time, walked us through the Student Union and recommended that we all pick up a copy of Spectrum to see what events were going on. I skimmed through it a bit and thought it was neat, but then my attention soon shifted to a pile of glossy magazines printed entirely in black and white.

I opened the magazine and began to read through articles until I reached the page which would become like my lovechild for the next few years. The personals.My friends and I acted like giddy schoolgirls (fairly common occurrence actually) pointing out all of the dirty things people had wrote. It was awesome, it was awful, and it was honestly a contributing factor to why I ended up going to UB. This is my first year writing for Generation. I’ve been telling all of my friends who go/went to UB about my new position. Some of my friends think that it’s the coolest thing ever I’m at Generation, while others have told me the new Generation sucks. But without any exceptions, the first question blurted out by everyone was…

Are they doing personals this year?

At first it was slightly aggravating having to constantly answer “no”. I felt like I was crushing the dreams of children everywhere as I told them Santa wasn’t real. I wanted the personals to be real too. But acting delusional about things wasn’t going to help. The personals had

burnt too many bridges, and the only way Generation would come back was without them.

Flag room whores, smoking MAD BLUTS!1!! (yes, correct spelling), LI girls; all out the door with John B. Simpson.It really does scare me to think that the personals page of Generation is shortly becoming ancient history. Going through the personals right before class started was my daily tradition, and ever since they’ve been gone I’ve felt a little bizarre. I understand the logic behind taking a section out of a publication which was present primarily for shock value and cheap laughs, but it still doesn’t seem entirely right to me. On the last Thursday before classes started, The Spectrum held a little refresher course in grammar, ethics, yadda yadda (*spoiler alert* I also write for Spectrum). We basically met everybody who was new and discussed how day to day operations would be handled. For the most part it was a pretty routine day, but one thing said at the meeting really stuck with me in particular. The Spectrum advisor, Jody Biehl, asked a question to the room along the lines of “who are we responsible to?” I knew the answer was the readership, but it really hit me at a deeper level when she said it (cocaine is a helluva drug).

The random kid reading Generation in 1st Floor Capen is just as important as my editor. If anything, the random kid is more important because he/she is reading by choice. My responsibility should be to them and not to other outside forces, and I know my editors agree with that. If I’m being responsible to readers, how can I justify not writing about personals when there is only question I hear looping through my skull.

Are they doing personals this year?

The sad fact of the matter to me is that the personals will probably never be back. However, I feel like I would be failing anyone who reads Generation to not at least mention such a large part of what made Generation the raw voice of UB. The personals were bad, but that’s why they were good.

With or without personals, you can be assured that the staff at Generation is going to make sure that this magazine doesn’t suck. And I guess if it does suck, you could always rip out a page and smoke a blut. Win-win.

Onionize It!

by CATHERINE PRENDERGAST

Want to impress your roommates with your “amazing cooking skills”? Well I suggest making one of these side dishes (or all three) because they are easy, flavorful, and not too time consuming.

For a spicy, fresh tomato sauce, all you need are tomatoes, onions, salt, pepper, and my personal favorites, garlic powder, oregano, and chili powder. Mix it all up at a medium temperature and your pasta will never be boring again.

Craving something to go with all those tortilla chips you bought at Tops? Guacamole is really simple. Just mash some avocados (make sure they’re soft!) in a bowl and add salt, lime, lemon, and any spices you desire.

Lastly, an incredibly easy dish to make is caramelized onions. In a pan with olive oil and butter, throw in some onions, salt and pepper. When the onions are soft, add some sugar and scrape the

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crispy parts around. An unexpected, but absolutely delicious, appetizer. Then again, there’s always the dining halls.

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