Issue 01 l July-August 2015
KEEP YOUR BEARD GAME ON TRACK
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CIGAR 101 FOR BEGINNERS!
SOLUTION OF BLOCK PYRAMID
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KEEP YOUR BEARD GAME ON TRACK 10 COMMANDMENTS : #BeardMaintenance
Nobody wants you wandering round like you have a Weetabix strapped to your face – ambling through life like a time travelling Viking. There was a time when growing a proper beard required only one thing – the face’s owner to simply cease all shaving procedure. These were simpler times, your choice between a beard or an arsenal of shaving tools: shards of flint, volcanic glass, scallop shells and a host of, what seems like, pocket sized medieval torture devices.
2. Accessorize, it’s time for a top hat and cane, possibly pocket watch… at least a new scarf. You haven’t just grown a beard you’ve grown a new man, go get ‘em Heisenberg.
7. Trim to a shape that enhances your features - don't go for the beard's version of the comb-over. Follow there simple rules: if you’re brown give it the volume; if you’re light keep it short.
3. If you’re overly hairy and intent on a developing a resplendent manometer, shave above your cheek line – no stragglers. As a rule, neatness is classy - stay classy.
8. Treat your beard as if it were your scalp – that means soap and conditioner. Only these two in careful quantities can ensure itch free relief be attained.
4. Invest in a reputable barber of some esteem, and a trimmer of equal caliber– you’re in the major leagues now, son. No cheap fixes.
9. If itchiness is proving to be a complication in your relationship, follow the Rugged Fellow's Guide and choose a high neckline, close to the jaw and shave beneath it. Science. Trimming A Beard Neckline
Today you have options. Nobody wants you wandering round like you have a Weetabix strapped to your face – ambling through life like a time travelling Viking – so we have some beard 101 advice: 1. If you’re just a young pup or abnormally hairless, shave twice-a-day for some time before dedicating yourself to beardom - no beard is infinitely better than half-assed one.
5. Invest in fine tooth comb, but no using it in public - you filthy animal. 6. You must never tend to your beard; you must only nurture. He’s part of you now. With nourishment and boundaries in equal measure you two will be partners in crime.
10. A ‘no-no’ roll call: Neck Beards, Goatees, The Horseshoe (sorry Mr. Hogan), the mutton chops OR the Chin Tuft & Mustache combo aka the 'Colonel Sanders'.
CIGAR 101 FOR BEGINNERS! #Genericstyle
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE SMOKING: HOW TO SMOKE. 1. There is no such thing as a ‘quick’ cigar. Choosing a cigar depends on the amount of time one has to smoke it. Make sure you know the approximate time it takes to smoke a particular cigar. You cannot store a half-smoked cigar with much success – choose the cigar that burns for the length of time you’d like to smoke to avoid waste. 2. When lighting a cigar use wooden matches or butane lighters. Paper matches or gas lighters produce chemicals which can negatively affect the flavor of your cigar – you don’t want the taste going awry. 3. Before you light a cigar run the flame under the foot and rotate the cigar a couple of times. Avoid touching the cigar with the flame but simply heat the tobacco for a smoother burn when lit. 4. Smoke your cigar between your thumb and index finger. Don’t hold between your index and middle – it looks ridiculous. 5. Cigars are not inhaled like a cigarette - they are puffed. You want to draw the smoke into your mouth, not into your lungs. Cigar smoking is supposed to be leisurely, and some can take hours to burn through. As you smoke the cigar, take the time to enjoy the taste and aroma – take note of what you like and what you don’t. 6. A cigar is finished when there half-to-a-quarter left – don’t smoke it down to a small nub, this will taste awful as the smoke becomes bitter and harsh. Once you have finished, do not stub or grind this can split the wrapper and make a nasty mess. Booom. Now you’re in the clear. Go get ‘um you little rascal.
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September-October 2015
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