Elevated

ELEVATED R E P R E S E N T A T I O N Â I

A R T

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I N C L U S I O N

Shot by Rashad White

ELEVATED REPRESENTATION I

ART

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INCLUSION

Design Corinne Bates Genevia Kanu Lilli Hime

Contributing Writers Corinne Bates Genevia Kanu Lilli Hime Contributing Photographers Corinne Bates Christopher Diaz Jenna Million Lilli Hime Precious Parker Rashad White Genevia Kanu

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS Dear reader, We welcome you to the inaugural issue of Elevated. Between these pages, you’ll dive into the complex intersections of the human identity. You’ll wade into the grey area between black and white and find yourself in the crossroads of cultures, where we as people don’t fit into the prescribed checked boxes. And if we’ve done our job well, you’ll find a bit of yourself.

What started as a desire to realize the space where gender, race, ethnicity, religion, culture, and the human experience converge became an ode to the not-so-simple human being. Elevated went from a pipe-dream of three minority writers with no platform to a successful online magazine with a viewership of one esteemed professor, Beth Eakman, where we celebrate our differences while recognizing the common threads of humanity which bind us together.

And art is the medium through which we believe can do it. Using the art of rhetoric to capture others’ art, we’ll allow the different forms expression takes to guide us to spaces outsiders would otherwise not be privileged to.

In this issue, we’ve provided you with an insight into Austin’s less-than-ideal treatment of women in the music industry, the story of an Asian-American reclaiming his identity through slam poetry, and the love-hate relationship of a black woman and self-identified cultural worker, amongst other powerful pieces.

What happens when we allow ourselves to live daringly in the yet-to-be-defined spaces? When we question who we are and allow ourselves to find the answers in others? And how does art play an integral part? There’s one way to find out.

In power and visibility, The Editors of Elevated

EDITOR BIOSÂ

Lilli Hime

Corinne Bates

As an Asian-American Corinne has dedicated herself to advocate for immigrant and member of the women's rights and LGBTQ community, Lilli has chronically ill persons dedicated herself and her work through her music, poetry, to uplifting unheard fiction, and journalism. She communities by amplifying believes it is important to their stories. She believes that tackle sensitive issues in an storytelling is a type of artistic and honest way. She advocacy that lays the bedrock hopes this will facilitate an for empathy, visibility, and open dialogue and will serve understanding of a people, the as a tool to bring people together to create a base issues they face, and the level of understanding and human effects of policies. acceptance.

Genevia Kanu As a Black woman of both American and Nigerian decent, Genevia is not shy to the complexity that is identity. Through her writing, she hopes to shed light on narratives that often go untouched by mainstream media. She believes that giving voice to these stories will help aid in the intense work that must be done to right major historic wrongs.Â

Shot by Rashad White

IN THIS ISSUE 07

Profiles 07: Yellow Boy Shine 10: A Cushion for Life 12: Art Hoe

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Features 17: Breaking Into the Boys Club 21: Latina Enough

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Comedy 25: Big Feet Bitches Need Love Too 27: To the man who yelled "bitch" out of his window at 3am 29: Racially Pet Names for Your Boo

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Appendix

YELLOW BOY SHINE Lilli Hime

Saturday night, Alex Luu adorns himself in his traditional

“I got into poetry because I always wanted to be a rapper,” Luu reminisces, “but I could never rap on beat.”

Chinese dress, a royal blue Changshan with intricate bronze dragons patterns. He strides on stage and stops in front of the mic. His shirt is stark against the crimson curtain backdrops. I wonder, in the moments before he begins, if some audience members doubt how good his English will be.

But not for lack of trying. Before discovering slam, Alex would surf Youtube to find an instrumental beat, write some bars for it, and try to rap with as much rhythm as he could muster which, as he assures me, was not much.

“The letter my grandpa never gave my dad,” he begins.

For the next 190 seconds, Alex commands the stage, gesture by powerful gesture, note by gripping note. He’s not giving a speech; he’s spitting a poem. Because this is the Texas Grand Slam and Alex Luu, to the disapproval of his parents, is a slam poet. He is also skipping school, having traveled all the way from the University of Southern California for this competition. Little do they know, he is one poem away from $1,500.

Alex didn’t give up, though. He entered school talent shows and recited his lines without the instrumental, not realizing that these were actually his first attempts at spoken word.

It was 3rd period, Mr. Slagle freshman English Honors class when he first encountered slam. Alex sat center classroom, an “awkward, 5’ 5’’, chubby little Asian kid who wore big framed glasses and spoke with a prepubescent voice.”

One day, Mr. Slagle was playing Def Poetry Jams in class. In my mind, it sorta seemed like rap but acapella.”

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The quick paced, high energy wordplay hooked him, not to mention its disregard for needing a beat which worked to Alex’s advantage. Witnessing Def Poetry Jams was, as he describes it, the “gateway art form” that led him to his greater slam poetry career.

But his verses would meander along in teenage angst themes of, friend zoning, bullying, love, and love for a little while. They wouldn’t come close to broaching his Asian-American stories until years later.

The Luu family is technically Chinese-VietnameseAmerican, to add to the already complex identity of multi-nationhood. Driven out by war, Alex’s grandparents immigrated from Guangzhou, China to Vietnam and then from Vietnam to California, driven out by war again.

“Being the son of immigrants and having grown up in America,” Alex says, “it’s definitely shaped my world, where I’d be the translator for my mom, where I’d have to explain certain American customs to my family and I’d have to explain a lot of my Asian culture and heritage to my friends.”

As a cultural middleman, Alex lead a double life, a very jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none feeling where, in an effort to escape choosing loyalties, he tried to compartmentalize his identities - a good Asian-American son at home and a fly-under-the-radar minority when out in the world.

“I’d be in a predominantly white, Christian school by day and at night I’d come back to family. I had an identity crisis like, what am I? Which community do I fit in?”

Alex chose to be American. “I had to do things to assimilate,” he said.

Things like throwing away his mother’s bon luoc as a kid because his playground bullies would call them worms and him a worm eater; begging her instead for lunchables; being called Buddha Lover like a bad word; and finally, sacrificing himself on the sacrament of stereotypical Asian jokes to appease his tormentors.

It’s easy to say everyone needs a seat at the table without realizing many don’t even have the nifty IKEA instructions sheet to build a chair, let alone pull up a seat.

Enter G Yamazawa, Japanese-American rapper, proud Durham, NC boy, and Alex’s unrealizing instructions sheet.

Alex Luu and G. Yamazawa.

“Seeing my representation in G, seeing that people vibe with him and felt emotional made me think, Wow, what are parts of my life that I can write about, can I be vulnerable with?”

G was Alex’s first. His first time seeing an Asian-American on stage, his first time hearing his own stories as a child of Asian immigrants being told, his first time hearing them applauded.

Much of G’s slam poetry, and later his music, centered around his experience as a Japanese-American son of immigrants, so for Alex, it was revolutionary to see an Asian hold a crowd with stories about his father’s accent, his mother’s cooking, his grandma’s stories.

For the first time, Alex didn’t see himself choosing between Asian or American, but instead, leaning into the power of the hyphen in Asian-American, realizing that, like him, it is a bridge between two entities. It forced him to reconcile with the Asian side of his identity which he’d worked so hard to repress.

“It was just dipping into this mindset that made me explore all that I had done wrong to myself, done wrong to my people, how much I had forsaken my culture, my heritage, my history.”

He began to write about his family, their food, their history. He studied Buddhism. He learned Chinese proverbs and mantras.

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He got new shirts for slam.

“I would wear something called the Changshan, which literally means long shirt,” Alex told me, diving into his backpack to show me not only what it looked like but how close-at-hand it stays.

He got the idea from seeing so many African-American poets wearing dashikis and traditional beads to stay in touch with their culture. He wanted to recreate this phenomenon of connecting to heritage through clothes for the Asian-American community.

Changshans are a traditional Chinese dress worn by men. “I would wear them everyday, just as a way to get in touch with my culture and feel how it feels to walk in the footsteps of my ancestors.”

Poetry was the medium that broke him out of the Asianor-American dichotomy and poetry would be the tool with which he’d carve his own niche.

“I felt a sense of duty and a sense of responsibility to expose my own experiences to an audience and hopefully change some perspectives on how we live and what people think of us.”

The only problem is his family, the very subjects of his stories, don’t exactly approve of it.

Alex is in the trial-and-error process of progressing his parents towards acceptance of poetry as a viable path for him. It’s not that his family doesn’t appreciate it; they just don’t find it practical, and for parents who left a country to give their children a better life, practicality seems only necessary.

Returning home to California from the Texas Grand Slam, Alex walks into his parents’ home to the sight of his father, arms crossed, lips pursed. He isn’t happy. Alex has skipped school for this poetry phase.

“It was one of those moments where you should get your ass whooped,” Alex recalls.

Before Mr. Luu has the chance to say anything, Alex reaches into his pocket, pulls out a check for $1,500, and slides it into his father’s hand. It’s his winnings from the competition. First place.

Saturday night, Alex Luu adorns himself in a vibrant yellow Changshan with his grandma’s Buddha hanging around his neck. He’s got “jade for bones,” a “dynasty in his footsteps” as he strides onstage. It’s a few weeks after he became the first Asian-American to win the Texas Grand Slam; he’s had time to recuperate and start anew.

“I believe for us to create as artists is a divine thing,” Alex tells me. “For us to turn creativity into something solid for other people to acknowledge and love, that’s not normal.

Everyone is in on the imagination that you make, and for you to be able to create that is powerful.”

His parents’ acceptance is an ebb and flow; some days they’ll be harsher about it, other days more relaxed. “It’s a process,” he says.

No matter what mood he finds his parents in, Alex wouldn’t trade poetry for anything.

“I never believed in myself and I never believed anyone would care for my Asian stories about my Asian background. (Poetry) helped me reclaim myself.”

Learning his son had taken up slam poetry, Dad did the universally parental thing to do when your child comes home with a less-than-gainly new hobby: label it a phase.

“As I explain to them how important poetry is, how important art is, that this is something that is needed, that there is a market for it where people want to hear their own stories manifested on a stage, as much as I try to pitch that to them,” Alex takes a breath, “it’s not something they want to hear simply because they doubt my financial stability.”

So, Alex has made his own ways of getting through. If money’s the language his parents want to talk, he’s prepared to do one more job of translation.

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A CUSHION FOR LIFE Corinne Bates

In February of 2017, Julia Bates went to Geekdom Startup Weekend thinking the threeday challenge was an info session. She was looking for tips on how to grow her business of teaching mindfulness. Three days later she got third place and won crowd favorite for her meditation cushion, the mello{Be}.

One thing that kept coming up in her research was mindfulness, “One of the best ways to regulate the autonomic nervous system is through meditation. It has the power to calm the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for your fight or flight responses.

This then activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows for relaxation” says Julia. She began teaching her daughter how to meditate. Once her health improved and she went off to college, Bates was left with a lot of free-time.

ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO REGULATE THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM IS THROUGH MEDITATION.

mello{be} cushion in blue medallion

Before her venture into the world of mindfulness, Bates was a pediatric ICU nurse turned school nurse. Her interest in the practice of mindfulness began after her daughter was diagnosed with a form of dysautonomia at 13 years old. She left her job as a school nurse and began taking care of her full time. After countless doctor’s visits and failed attempts at treatment, Bates decided to research alternative treatments.

This is when she decided to become a mindfulness teacher through the Mindfulness Training Institute based out of Berkeley, California.

The problem was traditional meditation cushions were too uncomfortable for both Bates and her daughter to use for long periods of time,“I have sciatica and regular cushions would either cause my legs to fall asleep or it would cause a shooting pain from my sciatic nerve down to my foot.” So she created a more comfortable cushion.

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What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

Ok so this isn’t going to be positive, but when I was younger my mother told me I was going to have to work really hard in school because we didn’t have money and I wasn’t pretty so I was going to have to rely on my smarts.

What is your favorite book, and what are you reading right now?

Julia Bates and her daughter

At first, she had the foam piece of the mello{Be} put into an existing crescent-shaped cushion, but then she also wanted to make the part for under the legs wider to increase comfort. So she created a template and had someone sew it for her.

Initially, it was just for her and her daughter, but Startup Weekend made her realize other people would benefit from this product.

The company grew slowly but surely over the summer, but the big breaks started rolling in this year. “We are going to be in all of the West Elm’s in Texas in the next few months, which is really exciting,” Julia said grinning from ear to ear.

Julia launched an Indiegogo campaign for the cushions to be able to pay for the manufacturing for this venture. The goal was $5,000. It launched on March 12 and had already reached over $3,000 by the end of the day. “It was completely unexpected. We have all month left, and we are almost at our goal. We never expected this kind of support, but it is really humbling” she gushed over the phone.

Not even a month later she won the Geekdom Community Fund prize of $10,000, which she intends to use to grow her brand and improve her manufacturing process.

Catch 22 [by Joseph Heller] is my favorite book because I grew up an air force brat, and I thought it was the most accurate depiction of that life I have ever read.

I’m actually reading three books right now, cause that’s what I do. So I’m reading Search Inside Yourself by ChadeMeng Tan, Altered Traits by Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson, and Principles by Ray Dalio.

What do you wish you knew when you started this company?

I wish I had known how much support I would have. I felt very alone at the beginning of it, but now I have a great support system of people who believe in the company as much as I do.

What inspires you?

People who get up and go to work and live their life no matter what inspire me a lot.

Where do you hope your company will be in five years?

I want the mello{Be} to be a crossover product. I want to have regular customers in the meditation community, but I also want to branch out into the furniture/lifestyle market by being in more places like West Elm. The main goal of this company is to encourage people to sit on the floor because it is so much better for you than sitting in a chair.

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ART HOE A 21st Century Renaissance Woman Genevia Kanu

“I THINK OTHER PEOPLE THINK I’M AN ART HOE.”

At least she’s honest. But what exactly is an “art hoe”?

From her lifestyle, one can assume it’s a person who gets around in the art world, making a name for themselves. In this context, being a hoe seems to be an achievement rather than an insult-- in that case, Amarie Gipson is the epitome of an art hoe.

She’s been featured on major industry websites like Essence, Fader, and Urban Outfitters. Not to mention having to find time to run her own magazine titled MUD-- an independent publication dedicated to all things related to Southern Art and Culture. This 23 year old mogul is seated on a small white desk chair, wrapped in a monochromatic black get up-- a flowy pant and simple spaghetti strap halter with a scarf thrown over her shoulders. We’re in her room, a clear place of serenity. It is a creme oasis: covered in novels, art on the walls and leaning against the floorboards, the smell of something fresh in the air-- wafting from a small candle in the corner.

She is the cool kid.

As a native Houstonian, she tries to evade the question “You only get to go to one place in Houston, where is it?”

Her face drops, proding for more. “Oh my God. Is it a place I want to spend time; is it a place I want to eat?” Her questions are fast and furious, hurrying to qualify this answer. Her love for her city is apparent as she tries not to limit herself.

“Oh my god…Oh shit… I’m really torn between two places that have had significant impact on my life. The places that I spend time religiously. I guess, my default would be the Museum of Fine Arts.”

It’s late-- 9PM on the dot and way past traditional interview hours. This was the only time that would work for the accomplished model, DJ, Editor in Chief, Curatorial Intern, self-proclaimed writer; and let us not forget Museum of Fine Arts , Houston (MFAH) Fellow. As a Senior Liberal Studies Major with focuses in both Art History and Philosophy as well as a minor in Sociology at St. Edward’s University, she has the experience and credentials to back all that up. Amarie Gipson is not just a perceived “art hoe”, she is a true renaissance woman.

She continues on, “For the past... two years I've been a fellow and they've really opened the doors up for me to mine through what the field I'm approaching is going to be like… I've been allowed to come in and learn so much about a place that's usually guarded off to people like me.”

Yes, by “people like me” she was referring to race. She meant explicitly, “Black people. People of Color.”

She apologizes for applying lotion to her legs as she talks, politely crossing one leg over the other.

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“The institutions aren't run by people of color, 10 times out of 10... They're mostly not funded by people of color.

So there is a disconnect… We don't have cultural literacy because the places are so unwelcoming.” Gipson goes on, mentioning that her grandmother has never been to a museum, claiming that “it’s not really her thing”. This comes as a surprise since her grandparents raised her. She exclaims “What does that mean? It should be everyone’s thing!” Art should be everyone’s thing, but recent research reveals it still is not.

In July of 2015, the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation released the Art Museum Staff Demographic Survey, which was the first diversity survey in America’s Art Museum history. That history spans hundreds of years.

The results were not surprising: 84% of museum workers (in leadership positions) are non-Hispanic white, 6% Asian, and 4% Black. Clearly, there is limited representation for any persons of color, regardless of race, in the Museum Field.

There is still a barrier.

Because of this survey, the MFA (the MFAH is a subsidiary of the National Organization) is working diligently to increase diversity within the art world.

Here, in this arena, she is the exception and not the rule.

As one of their fellows, Gipson “feels empowered by the program to break things down for people who look like us.”

Through her work Gipson has been able to showcase established and emerging artists of color who, like herself, use their platform to create a space for underrepresented narratives. Narratives that represent the pain that is often overlooked. “After Mike Brown. His killer walked. That was...a slap in the face for many people all across the country. But it… really became clear, when I felt like I was trapped, was 2016 July.”

2016 was a divisive year, especially for many people like “us”, those who are members of marginalized communities. During Donald Trump’s election, some days felt like surviving. People were trying to find a space where the did not feel hated, space where the air did not seem hostile. At times, no matter where you went it seemed like you were running out of air. As Gipson said-we were trapped.

The particular moment that Gipson is referring to was the week of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile’s extremely gruesome and highly publicized murders. “Alton Sterling and Philando Castile Castile [was] that back to back ‘Hearing the Thunder’ like James Baldwin says. I was in my apartment. It was like 2 o'clock in the morning, and boom Philando Castile was dead!” Gipson had told herself not to go on twitter, it was time to go to bed she reasoned.

Unfortunately, she did not heed her own advice.

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Gipson was working on so much outside of those grocery store walls like running a magazine and creating one of her first curatorial shows-- no one knew. If they had, maybe they would have treated her differently. This is how respectability politics strike again. As if somehow her life and thus level of respect could be higher if someone saw how much she was offering outside of working her front-end cashier job to pay for school. That she was out creating content for people to consume, or earning her degree to create space for others in the art world. Maybe if that same value could be placed on all Black people’s lives, it could have saved Alton Sterling or Philando Castile their lives too.

“I was... on the floor screaming bloody murder hoping that my neighbors wouldn't hear me but then hoping that somebody would hear me because I wanted help. I wanted some…. kind of peace. The next day, the same thing.” Both Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were gunned down within 72 hours of each other but the murders were miles apart-- one in Louisiana and one in Minnesota. Both deaths were widely publicized as videos of the shootings were plastered across social media. The news was seemingly running the stories nearly 24 hours a day. There was no reprieve.

Shortly after all that trauma, Gipson quit and found a new job at the Contemporary Austin Museum.

“And I was working in a grocery store at the time on North Lamar. Ridiculous area. Ridiculous people. The most privileged probably don't come in contact with a black body for ...three weeks at a time.” Despite Austin being an extremely liberal city, it lacks diversity. The city's burgeoning with new industries and people as development is occurring constantly-- but the Black people are leaving at alarming rates. In 2016, KUT Austin NPR reported that though the city grew a 20.4% between 2000 and 2014, the Black population dropped by about 5.4%. At the beginning of 2018, KXAN reported that African-American population was starting to return, but retention was difficult since so many Black people claim to feel unwanted and unwelcome in the city. The statistics clearly are not wrong. “I just [had to] realize like in all those things happening: it doesn't matter how fucking smart I am, it doesn't matter how much I have going on outside of being here at this grocery store! These people are going to treat me like such regardless.”

Gipson is currently enjoying her last moments of undergrad, working as a Visitor Relations Specialist at The Contemporary Austin. She has recently completed her oneyear position as a Publication Assistant for the Museum.

While serving as a Publication Assistant she lead the charge to attain their new featured exhibition-- Rodney McMillian: Against a Civic Death. This is the museum’s first time showcasing such work. It is a mixed media exhibition centered around the United States’ political, social, and cultural history. Though the exhibition is not explicitly violent, the art can be labeled graphic which required all workers to have training with SAFE- a non-profit dedicated to ending child abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence (SAFE).

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Gipson took part in that training, seeing as she is a curator for the exhibit. “We have not had any negative reactions, yet.” Gipson is expecting them though, the art is so powerful it will garner a reaction from someone. McMillian’s work serves as a reminder of America’s long and sordid history with race and privilege, something that can become extremely complicated for those who live here, Gipson included.

“But it's something I have to be grateful for. As fucked up as this country is, as fucked up as it has been, the fact that we -black people -weren't considered human beings when we were coming over here… [and] in a process of them... devising to take us from where we were; And completely changing our lineage, completely altering all that shit. Despite all that, being American [is] being a part of a culture that is literally dominating the entire world, setting the trends for the whole world. As disconnected as I feel from where I once would have been, this is where I’m from. It’s the history that I am apart of.” It is the complexity of thoughts like this that propel Gipson forward in making space for us where there has been no space before. She continues to showcase excellence through her work, recently presenting at SOURCE which is A St. Edward’s research symposium where she spoke on the installation she created at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. Her work ethic and passion serve as a reminder that there are still glass ceilings to break through, but it’s worth the push.

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Clifton Harrison

Shot by Precious Parker

Breaking into the Boys Club Corinne Bates

Marika Hackman shot by Jenna Million

Sailor Poon shot by Jenna Million

Austin is weird. Sometimes this is a good thing.

Sometimes it’s a bad thing, and sometimes it’s hard to tell which of the things it is. “I always felt like Austin was the strangest mix of conservative and liberal, so while I'd be rubbing shoulders with someone who I thought wasn't sexist, I'd hear some weird microaggression or outright sexist comment about my abilities as a musician, engineer, or person in general” said Livvy Bennett, front person, lead guitarist, and songwriter for Mamalarky.

Austin is widely referred to as “the live music capital of the world” and it’s pretty true. You can make the decision to go see live music any night of the week, and you’ll find some pretty impressive and cheap options all over the city. But walk into just about any venue and you’ll notice a trend: men and not just onstage. No, look at the photo pit, the soundboard, the stagehands, and the roadies.

They're all dudes, aren't they? But why?

People tell men they can do whatever they want, and they are allowed to do whatever they want,” said music writer Emily Treadgold, “nobody told me I could do this when I was younger.” Treadgold and her online publication, thenewnine, cover music all over the country. She just recently came back from a trip to the California desert where she covered Coachella in all of its dusty and sweaty glory. She works hard, and it’s paying off. But her work ethic is part of the reason she has problems with the Austin music scene, “here it’s almost cool not to care. It’s not cool to have ambition.”

It’s already harder for women to get published or acknowledged. Add on a stigma about hard work not being cool, and you have a recipe for a scene full of straight white cisgendered men.

“There are like, 5 female photographers that I would see regularly at shows” joked Jenna Million who has been photographing concerts since she was 16, “other than that it’s basically just a bunch of dudes.”

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It’s not all bad news according to Mariah Stevens-Ross, bassist for Sailor Poon and street team manager for Margin Walker, “It is better than a lot of cities, but just as the rest of society, we still have centuries of sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. to work towards dismantling.

The festivals I've closely worked with have been very active in giving women and other minorities the platforms they deserve.” Though she did go on to say that they’ve had maybe five live sound engineers who were women in the “three years and hundreds of shows I’ve played.”

Stevens-Ross had similar stories, “It's pretty common that we get sound guys on the road who assume we don't know anything. I've gotten screamed at for making simple requests, like using a DI instead of a mic on my bass amp.

Luckily this doesn't occur so much in Austin, but it does happen occasionally. Men assume we can't carry or set up our own gear, know about our own musical influences, or god forbid, park a tour van.”

There are a lot of venues that make a concerted effort to be inclusive. Cheer Up Charlies and Hotel Vegas host “female fronted” showcases or themed nights where all the bands have women in them. But these are small clubs with a max capacity of about 200 to 400 people depending on the stage. Also, two venues out of more than 250 live music venues in the city is not a very good percentage (it’s .8% if you don’t feel like doing the math yourself). While there are likely more venues that fight for inclusion (Barracuda, Sidewinder, and Mohawk were just a few that Million remembered being inclusive spaces from her time interning with Margin Walker) it should be everywhere.

“People tell men they can do whatever they want, and they are allowed to do whatever they want” -Emily Treadgold

These kinds of micro- and even macroaggressions make it hard for women to feel welcomed in the community. It’s hard not to get discouraged when you have a man standing in front of you questioning your every decision, wondering if you have any idea what you are doing. Music isn’t something only men know how to do. Guitar, drums, and bass are just as easily played by women. Sound engineering is not too complex for the female brain, neither is booking, photography, or writing.

The problem isn’t just a lack of representation.

It’s also how women are treated when they do make it into these circles; “I have men explain how my gear works, easy guitar concepts, basic music theory to me constantly...It's frustrating that I've gone to college to study music and have been playing instruments since I was literally 3 years old, and yet still people assume I know nothing about it” lamented Bennett whose band is now based out of Los Angeles.

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As for inclusion in the media, “If you can’t find a place that takes you seriously, make your own.

That’s what I did” said Treadwell. She started thenewnine after the previous music writing blog she worked for went under, and she was having a hard time finding work. And if you’re going to make your own space, invite other women in to fill it with you.

That’s exactly what Million along with fellow concert photographer and friend, Tess Cagle, did.

They created the Ladies Music Club when they both returned from their adventures outside of Austin, Million from London and Cagle from New York. They wanted to build friendships that revolve around the thing they are most passionate about, music. It started with a simple happy hour at Mohawk, and now they are getting ready for their first panel on May 14th at Cheer Up Charlies, which is aimed at helping women who are freelancers or are starting their own business. Originally it was just for women in music media, but they decided to make it less formal more of a “book club, but for music” as Million has become fond of saying.

It’s still more than just creating your own space, it’s also fighting to be seen as an equal. Treadwell, who is a small but fierce blonde woman, experienced this as she was getting started and has taken steps to fight the “dumb blonde” stereotype, “It was so hard to get publications to listen to me. I look dumb. I understand that. I combat that by being smarter than anyone else. I read one biography per week. I can tell men more about the musicians they love than they know, and I can quote verbatim things from their biographies.” She calls this her “Dolly Parton Act”. You can be pretty and act dumb, but you still have to be smarter than all of the men, or you won’t be taken seriously.

When it comes to the next step to creating a more inclusive music scene here in Austin, Bennett said it best, “If you book a bill with no women or POC or LGBTQ folks, you aren't trying hard enough! If you only listen to bands that are only white men, maybe do some exploring and asking yourself why you "prefer" that sound, consider the fact that it's likely been conditioned into you by what the mainstream media, and even INDIE record labels, put their money and resources into!” It’s not hard to find talented girl bands. It’s not hard to find bands with people of color or LGBTQ+ representation. Venues and booking agents just need to make it a consistent priority.

But don’t just stop with bands. Hire more female sound engineers, give girl roadies a chance, have a woman be your stage manager, let that lady into the photo pit.

It’s about time we break into this boys club, don’t you think?

Pearl Charles shot by Jenna Million

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LATINA ENOUGH

A conversation between 3 white-passing latinas Lilli Hime In the classic school newspaper room, three latina journalists sit down for coffee to talk about, among other topics, how they’ve been discriminated against. Not because they have dark skin but because they don’t.

Each of these women identifies as white-passing, which means that people often perceive them as white due to their fair skin and light hair. And the discrimination they’ll be talking about? It’s from their own community.

They start off with introductions. Easy, if not redundant, enough. This intro is more for the podcast than themselves since they know each other well by now; they’re co-editors and friends. The only novel thing about this beginning is their declaration of an ethnic identity. This is a defining moment.

Lauren Sanchez, opinions editor, takes “the easy way” calling herself latina.

Victoria Cavazos, news editor, is Mexican-American.

Then, Elizabeth Ucles, life and arts editor, says she is half white, half Honduran. And then everyone changes.

“I’m also half white,” Victoria asserts. “When we say half white, I guess what I mean is real 100% granola -” Photo provided byElizabeth Ucles

Lauren chimes in. “I have a quarter,” like they’re trading game cards. “My grandpa on my mom’s side was in the air force when he met my grandma.”

There it is, the culprit of this white-passing feature that brings them together today that has yet to be understood as a gift or a curse. While their fairer features allow them to maneuver through society as affluently as any white person, it also can place huge barriers of exclusion from their Latino community, both self-imparted and by others.

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Am I Latina Enough?

“I’m constantly trying to prove myself as being latina enough,” Elizabeth says as one who was raised by her white mom and her family because her Honduran father left the family in her infancy. “I never had him show me what it’s like to be un hondurena.”

She reflects on her high school’s culture fest, where students hosted booths on their nationality. Naturally, Elizabeth took Honduras. “But when people came around, I was just reading off the poster board. It’s not like I could actually speak on the experience. I went in my car later and I was just bawling my eyes out because I was like, I don’t know anything, I don’t know this part of me.

“I can’t defend why I’m latina.”

Though she is the only one of this trio raised outside the latinx household, Elizabeth is not the only one experiencing this disconnect.

Photo provided byVictoria Cavasos

Victoria is a senior undergraduate at St. Edward’s University, majoring in Spanish. “I think it’s funny because it’s very obviously an overcompensation.”

With an already fluent command over the language, she improved her Spanish writing in academia. When she returned home, she faced a new level of critiques. “I speak what people would call proper Spanish. That’s intimidating to a lot of people in my family.”

“I got teased a lot by the girls who had darker hair and maybe darker skin because I was exotic,” Victoria shares.

“They would pull my hair, call me gringa and that to me was the worst thing you could call me. I would go home crying like why do they treat me this way?”

Victoria’s story is “sorta inverse of Elizabeth’s.” Her dad left too, but he was the white one in his parent’s interracial relationship. A “Kentucky boy,” as she calls him. Growing up with her Mexican-American grandparents and on the border, Victoria was steeped in the culture. Just not fully.

As for Elizabeth, she’s just thankful her mom put her in Spanish classes since kindergarten. “That’s the only thing really I’ve been able to hold onto and be like, Yes, I am latina, I can speak Spanish and I don’t have a white accent.”

“If you’re latina, why are you white?”

Victoria says, jokingly but to hit at the core of the discrimination they have faced; the truth that their exclusion from the latinx community has been solely on the assumption that all latinx are dark skinned.

“I always feel like my presence is questioned,” she says, “or suspected in some way. I think there’s a distrust, at least in my community on the border and South Austin, of white people, which is not surprising but it’s not unjustified.”

“When I say I used to be racist,” Lauren says, referring to a past conversation between the two of us, “it’s something everyone experiences. The first person who I heard use the term ‘wetback’ was my mom and she used it to describe people down the block who were dark-skinned Mexican people.” Racism, as Lauren defines it, is really just the process of holding onto harmful preconceptions against an ethnicity.

Lauren shared the sentiment.

“I had started to think I was white,” she says, “but that’s actually not it at all. It’s not necessarily that I was raised white; I was raised not-dark-skin Mexican.”

For all three, the Spanish language has been a huge factor in proving their latina identity. Both Elizabeth and Victoria are fluent while Lauren can understand.

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“Listening to your family say (dark-skinned latinos) are wetbacks but you’re not, like you’re better than them, that really influenced what I thought my identity was.”

Lauren started to recognize these family-taught notions as a problem when she hit high school and started recognizing herself as latina.

The instance that hit home for her was when a group of her latina friends who were dark-skinned lashed out at her for identifying all of them, herself included, as latina.

“They’d cut me off and say, ‘I’m not Mexican! I’m Spanish!’ because Spanish people are white and ‘better than us.’”

It was hearing those girls forsake their Latina roots really influenced how she looked at her own identity. “I didn’t want to be like that. I’m still definitely not stable in my latina identity but just having these experiences has helped me get closer to feeling more confident within my identity.” Lauren has been going through the unlearning process yet, she still acknowledges there are some deeply ingrained things she can’t let go of and still has to fight sometimes.

This brings the question of differentiating racism from colorism, or whether a difference even exists. Where Elizabeth and Lauren believe that the difference is so miniscule, especially considering they stem from the same root of the same problem, Victoria asserts that the difference matters.

“Racism is structural and racism is systematic,” she starts.

It can’t be used against white people, according to her.

“Because racism is the systematic oppression of minorities.” She uses the example of denying a black man housing or using a racial slur - “that is violence against that person.

The Social Chameleon

“This is a kind of gift,” Victoria reflects, surprising herself. “to have my place in this culture questioned so much. It made me question who am I. Now I’m at a place where I feel very at home in the world, whether I’m latina or not… which I am. It’s also made me perceptive of other people’s identity.”

She turns to the two other latinas in the room and me.

“I’m sure when people ask you if you are latina, you’re like ‘Yes and it’s complicated.’ It’s kind of cool because I feel very in community with you guys and with other people, like you Lilli, who are at the intersection of a lot of different identities.”

White-Passing Duty

To revise the classic spiderman quote to something more applicable, with great *privilege* comes great responsibility. Elizabeth, Victoria, and Lauren have enormously recognized their privilege as white-passing to only avoid the negative prejudice and treatments against dark skinned latinos but also, to be allowed into the safety of white spaces.

“It’s so easy,” Lauren begins as she recounts her experience with white friends, “to be hanging out with a bunch of white people and then one of them makes a joke about Mexicans or slavery, and then suddenly there’s tension that wasn’t there before. “

“Colourism,” she continues, “is more cultural, when there’s a hierarchy based on the color of someone's skin.

That is something that is so historically rooted in our culture and almost every culture, it’s difficult to break away or disassociate. Me being discriminated against within the latin community as a huera or gringa, that’s not going to affect my livelihood. I would characterize it as discrimination.”

Lauren makes a final point that, while there is a distinguishing difference between the two, they are born from the same root problem: “Making perceptions of people based on how they look.”

Photo provided by Lauren Sanchez

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Being from the border, coverage of the mysterious area is at the forefront of her mind. She believes most people’s limited understanding of the border is due not only to the constantly mythologized wall but also the lack of journalists actually from the border, who have not only learned about this subject but grown up with it.

“It can happen within latino circles but in general, within white circles, there is that history of racism that stems back hundreds of years that you as a person of color are hyper aware of.”

Elizabeth relates to this with her own high school experiences, being in white friend groups when someone would say a racist joke. While she acknowledges she would stay quiet back then, she knows she has an understanding now that empowers her to speak out.

“If you read USA Today or the New York Times, everything is about the capitol B border wall,” she says in an overdramatized voice. “There’s always doomsday predictions wthout really knowing what it is to live on the precipice or in the liminal space between two countries, two cultures.” She pauses for a moment, realizing first, then savoring the parallel which she just made.

“I realized that while I won’t speak on issues for other people, that doesn’t mean I should not jump to defend because the privilege I have, being white passing, I still have that duty.”

“It’s a very apt representation of an internal struggle all of us have with our identities. I have the privilege of being part of two cultures that intersect and that experience should be written about, spoken about, represented.”

She quickly mutters with bitter idealism under her breath, “everyone has a duty to defend another human being but that’s beside the point.” She acknowledges that it’s the duty of the youth to figure out their identity and, as they get older and they come into who they are, their duty shifts to using their unique identities, especially the ones of privilege, to uplift others and speak out against their oppression.

To sum up what Victoria just said, journalists are biased, Elizabeth says. “We’re trying our best to be objective but our identities and who we are inform the kind of stories we’re pursuing, so having someone like us in the newsroom is important. Having people of color in the newsroom helps bring light to stories that would normally not be there.”

“My identity’s a lot of different things and figuring it out and acting on it is a lot better than being silent just because I don’t feel like I can full speak on something.”

Elizabeth slows the conversation down with a caution sign.

Lauren uses the example of a story on gentrification handed to a white reporter as opposed to a latino reporter, which her and Elizabeth continue to riff off on.

Ultimately, they come to the conclusion that the white man would be unable provide full coverage because he would not have the cultural insight to understand because he hadn’t lived to see his own neighborhood flooded by gentrification.

“At the same time,” she starts slowly, “I try to remind myself as someone who is half white, I’m going to stand up and fight but I don’t want to be the face of the movement. It’s important for us to empower other latinos to stand up and it doesn’t have to be that white savior thing.”

Victoria begins to pick apart their specific duties as latina journalists in the newsroom. This is important because the majority of newsrooms in America are made up of white men, the second majority being white women.

The Closing

She goes into how she worked for a good chunk of time on a story about farm works. “My grandparents were farm workers and I recognize that I have a privilege to publish stories about people whose stories may never be heard, issues within the latin community that maybe wouldn’t be reported on because there’s a huge shortage of latino, latina, hispanic journalists.

Before Elizabeth and Lauren have time to eagerly agree, as they did, she cracks a joke, “If I’m latina, why am I white?” referencing the famous mean girls quote.

I thank everyone, the recorder turns off and Victoria lingers while she packs up her backpack. She proposes we have this kind of conversation again sometime.

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Elizabeth keeps it going: “You can’t just ask people why they’re white, Karen.”

BIG FEET BITCHES NEED LOVE TOO Genevia Kanu

Let us begin with the truth: Everyone who wears a size 8 or below is evil.

I have worn a size 11 for my entire adult life, and I blame everyone for it: the mailman, the shifting tectonic plates, dairy, the vegans, and most definitely the manufacturers.

I curse them every time I go shoe shopping. Sometimes, it's a basic “shit” or “fuck my life”. Other days, I get more creative--because calling out “flying cunt” just has a certain level of impact the basic curse word combination lacks.

Most times, it's “all the other big feet bitches got here first”. Because most times, all the other big feet bitches did get there first, and what have they left me? Orthopedics and death. Some research suggests, they are the same thing.

I walk down the isles of DSW, Nordstrom Rack, and Target and contemplate why designers want to play with my emotions like this. I can’t help the deranged displays as I crouch down to survey the shelves, muttering inappropriate commentary. I am aware that I look insane scouring the shoes and cursing, but I have come to enjoy the people openly gawking at me while rushing their kids away. I only wish Kate Spade, Steve Madden, and Jessica Simpson were also there to get some of this. I hate them, by the way. Did I mention that? In those moments, I would heartlessly trip any designer with a pointed stiletto heel…

But I don’t have one because they’re on back order in my size right now. You only made 17 pairs!

So for me, shoe shopping requires at least one day of preparation. I spend the day mentally calming my desire to murder my friends. As I watch them (who range from size 6 to the perfect 8) find everything I want, I know it’s everything my shoe collection deserves. It’s like shoe designers think that women that wear a size 9 and up don’t want to wear cute shoes. As if we would prefer to go through our days dancing through the streets, praising the gods for Crocs because at least those go up to a size 12.

Recently, I happened into a DSW while riding the highs of day drunkenness and ignoring my wallet’s cries for mercy.

Myself and a friend--let’s call her The Treacherous 8--wander into the store... Sounds like foreshadowing doesn’t it.

There was a sale.

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We immediately dart to the back of the store to inspect what deals we could find. She bulldozes her way to my section, considerate enough to put my shoe needs before her own. She hands me a pair of Steve Madden platform slip-on which I had yet to see anything over a size 9. I damn near take her hand off as I snatch them. Y’all. I am immensely excited that I had not been met with disappointment. *Insert ominous yet* I try them on. They’re not only comfortable, but I am about two inches taller and 30 pounds slimmer in the mirror. I felt like an Instagram baddie. So clearly, I was taking these shoes home with me. They were only like 20% off, but mama is willing to sacrifice her extra brunch money for these.

This is where disappointment enters stage left and hands me a present. As we search for her, I immediately pick up a pair of mules that I have been searching for, for literal months. And here lie the shoes, in her size, for 50% off.

Immediately I turn green and do deep yoga breaths to stop from becoming the lady Hulk. Internally, I am screaming “Of fuckin’ course, this is why I need to bind my feet” which distracts me from the urge to hurl the shoes across the room, decapitating anyone else who might wear a size 8. I hand the shoes to her and watch her gush over how perfect they. My response: “I know sis, I have good taste”.

At the end of the day, disappointment comes again to hand me more gifts--this time its jealousy. .Why? Because when the day is over she has the audacity to abandon that crisp DSW bag in my room.

That careless, heartless, ungrateful bitch!

I kicked the bag and plan her demise yet again. How could I be friends with such disrespect? We’ll blame my only child syndrome that encourages secret acts of destruction, for the part where I convinced myself that I could conveniently drop something on them. I could ruin these shoes. Then no one wins.

After half a bottle of wine (healthy coping skills, I know. Don’t worry though. My therapist already told me) but I digress. I realized: why should I take it out on the shoes? They are good shoes. These navy blue mules should not have to suffer.

Why knock my friend out? She is a good, loyal friend. I like her at least three out of the seven days of the week.

Socially, that’s the equivalent of a whole year. I realize who the true problem is: the shoemakers. Gotta think big picture. So this is a PSA: Make your shoes for women with above “average” feet.

We like nice shoes, pointed toes, and platform heels! I like to follow the trends, and you know what, those perfect size 8s aren’t going to make it very much longer if you don’t watch out. Big feet bitches hold grudges!

And no worries little feet women, no one with small feet were harmed during the writing of this column.

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Shot by Precious Parker

To the man who yelled "bitch" out of his car at 3 am, How did you know? Do we have flashing neon lights above our heads that only men can see?

Are you a mind reader? Have you somehow seen every terrible thing we have ever done? Has one of us actually been a bitch to you?

It’s very possible it was me. I’m sorry about that.

Was it directed at one of us? Or all 6 of us? How are we supposed to change our “bitchiness” if you drove off so soon?

I really wanted to talk to you about your understanding of my character. How will I even know how to change myself from bitch to beauty without your insights?

Is this something you do often? Or did we just really beg for you to drive up to us, slow down slightly, lean your entire body out of your muscle car, and yell “bitch” before revving your engine and driving off again.

Are you the bitch police? Is that how you afforded that nice black mustang?

You really get me. I love a man who calls me a bitch then peels out. It really gets me going.

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Did you mean to say bitch singular? Or would “bitches” have been a more accurate representation of your thought process?

There were six of us, and I just want to get my facts straight.

Was it an insult?

Was it a compliment?

Was it a dare?

I genuinely have so many questions, and no way to have them answered. I don’t want to be offended if that was not your intention. Because bitch can be a term of endearment.

I know it took a lot of courage. Screaming one word at a group of six attractive women stumbling their way home in the wee hours of the morning. I applaud you for your security in yourself.

Most men would have just honked, or whistled, or even just driven by without comment. But not you. No, you acted on your instinct. You told us what you thought. You screamed it for everyone to hear. Even if it was just one word, “bitch”.

You left an impact. One of us screamed in surprise. I yelled an obscenity back. Might have made an obscene gesture to accompany it. We were just in shock. I’m sorry if our reaction offended you. I know you were just trying to say something meaningful, even if we didn’t understand it with our small female brains.

But what did you expect from a “bitch”?

Corinne B.

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Cute, racially sensitive pet names for your boo Lilli Hime

Because we've all been there

Okay, Susan, so you’ve started your first unofficial but super casual and not too serious relationship with a person of color (gasp, what would great aunt Jennifer say?). But hey, it’s the 21st century and your love doesn’t see color. You’re getting to the semi-official but still super chill and maybe hinting at semi-serious relationship phase and you know what Cosmo says that means… it’s time to casually officialize it with pet nicknames.

Now, you could go with pookie or love muffin or even snuggle bug, but let’s be original. Besides, you want your semi-official bae to feel like you’re talking specifically to them. You want them to know you know and respect the exotic beauty that is their culture. So, why not show them with a nickname specific to their race!... or ethnicity, whatever the difference between those is. And food nicknames are definitely the way to go. You know how the saying goes; the way to a minority’s heart is through their food!

Coconut

For your boo who’s rough and tough (and brown) on the outside but just waiting to be cracked open and let their good flow! Milk. That’s the good that is flowing. White milk. That’s inside them. We just have to get it out, by force if necessary. How else will you save them from their brutal ways? This nickname is the kind of understanding they’ve been looking for and you’ve finally offered it to them, along with the level up in life to be with you. Plus, bonus points for sensitivity since coconut will totally make them feel at home because it’ll remind them of whatever tropical island they’re from. Even though you don’t know which one, (maybe the place that started Cinco de Drinko or made tacos popular) you know it is somewhere south of North America. I mean, you can only be so culturally aware, right, because you shouldn’t have to remember every intricate headdress or style of face paint those people use. Anyways, it’s the thought that counts.

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Twinkie

This delicious spongy dessert really is America’s favorite snack cake; I mean, why else would we call them our model minority if everyone shouldn’t aspire to be like them? They’re the only minority without that rough and tough outer shell (talk about defensive, geez). And just like the Twinkie is America’s fave, your Asian-American boo will be reminded that they’re your favorite sweet thang everytime you call them twinkie!

Oreo Your love for this wonder-filled cookie is almost as much as your love for black people. You love them so so so so so much, you’re willing to date one (take that Sharon!)

Calling your dark beauty babe an oreo will show tell them how much wonder they bring into your life. No, really; you’re the lucky one in the relationship, and you wouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

To anyone who would say a relationship with different colors might be difficult, we say bah humbug! They obviously can’t see past color like you can.

Next week, we’ll kick up the heat a little (caliente!) and talk about when you can take the boyfriend shirt to the next level - we’re talking panchos and cheongshan and African shirts, oh my! Until then, sweet dining, ladies.

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APPENDIX

When Fact is Better Than Fiction

Corinne Bates People are obsessed with criminality. The fact that there are three versions of NCIS and four versions of CSI should be enough evidence of this. They don’t just like fictionalized accounts of the crime. They want more. True crime as a genre has risen in popularity over the past few years with shows like Making a Murderer, Manhunter, and The Jinx. As well as podcasts like Serial, and This American Life. True crime has been a genre since Edgar Allan Poe’s The Mystery of Marie Roget. Unfortunately, historically it has not been considered more than tabloid fodder. The sensationalist language made it more likely to be on a shelf next to tawdry romance novels than critically acclaimed dramas. Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood showed readers that the genre could be transcribed in a more literary and respectable form.

An Unbelievable Story of Rape by Ken Armstrong and T. Christian Miller follows the events leading up to the arrest of serial rapist Marc Patrick O’Leary who “pleaded guilty to 28 counts of rape and associated felonies in Colorado. [...} was sentenced to 327½ years in prison for the Colorado attacks — the maximum allowed by law” as well as sixty-eight and a half years for two rapes he committed in Washington (37).

Unlike most narratives that fall within the true crime genre, this article does not focus on the perpetrator.

O’Leary’s name is not even mentioned until the sixth section, of which there are ten including the epilogue.

Instead, the authors focus on three women who had the biggest impact on this case: the victim, Marie; Detective Stacy Galbraith; and Detective Edna Hendershot.

They do this by splitting it up into two parts and showing which story is which through the format. The beginning of the article is center justified as is the epilogue. This serves as a signifier of a beginning and end of this story. Marie’s story, except for the beginning, is all left justified, while the detectives’ story is right justified throughout.

This gives the reader a visual cue for when the story is going to switch perspectives. Marie’s story is told in five sections, including the beginning.

The detectives’ story is told in four. The epilogue is partially about Marie and the detectives, but it is mostly about the perpetrator, Marc O’Leary. Each section begins with the date and the location. This is important, because Marie’s story is not told chronologically, and the detectives’ story jumps around to different locations. This grounds the reader without having to go into expositional detail about time and location at the beginning of each section.

Marie’s storyline is part of what makes the entire story so “unbelievable”. Throughout the piece, the reader is pulled along a narrative that is fairly confusing. Over the course of three days, Marie was assaulted, she reported the assault, and then she recanted. Then not even a month later, she was charged with false reporting and faced up to a year in jail. The way it is told, the reader cannot really tell if Marie is lying or telling the truth until they get to the part about O’Leary. Also just the fact that a woman can be pressured into recanting and then is punished for a “false testimony” is terrifying for women who are considering coming forward about their assaults. The format of the article builds up suspense in the same way I have come to expect from the modern take on the true crime genre. It opens up with Marie in the courtroom accepting a plea deal. It is very matter-of-fact. Giving no indication of whether she is guilty or not so the reader is left trying to figure it out for themselves, “She had reported being raped in her apartment by a man who had bound and gagged her. Then, confronted by police with inconsistencies in her story, she had conceded it might have been a dream. Then she admitted making the story up. One TV newscast announced, “A Western Washington woman has confessed that she cried wolf when it came to her rape she reported earlier this week.” She had been charged with filing a false report, which is why she was here today, to accept or turn down a plea deal” (Armstrong and Miller 2). This first section sets the article up for one of the conventions of true crime, “framing a case so certain facts are left out, or omitted until later”(Cruz).

Readers do not know if she is lying or not. .

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There is another, more subtle omission in the first description of Marie’s assault, the black mask. In the other four in-depth accounts of O’Leary’s attacks, the black mask is mentioned.

The first mention is in the second section, “at around 8 a.m., she was jolted awake by a man who had jumped on her back, pinning her to the bed. He wore a black mask that seemed more like a scarf fastened tight around his face”(Armstrong and Miller 3). It is mentioned again in Detective Hendershot’s case, “A 59-year-old woman told her that she had been asleep in her home when a man jumped on her back. He wore a black mask” (Armstrong and Miller 9). Then again in the Aurora case, “There, a 65-year-old woman told police that she had been raped in her apartment by a man with a black scarf wrapped around his face”(Armstrong and Miller 10). Its final mention is in the account of the failed rape attempt in Lakewood, “The report detailed how a 46-year-old artist had been accosted in her home by a man with a knife. He wore a black mask”(Armstrong and Miller 12). All we are told in the initial account of Marie’s assault is, “as for what her attacker looked like, Marie could offer few details. White man, gray sweater” (Armstrong and Miller 14).

This omission adds to the drama of the section eight, which details Marie’s assault from an omniscient perspective. This where we get all of the facts and details omitted throughout Marie’s previous sections. It explains the oddities of her stories: the placement of her shoes, why her ID was out, why he used her knife, where the condom went, and more. There is no use in keeping the suspense at this point. We learned who the perpetrator was in the seventh section, so now we are shown the how. This section closes up the gaps in Marie’s story.

Marie’s section of the article is about getting justice for someone who has been wronged by law enforcement and the judicial system. The popular podcast, Serial, also follows this convention, as does Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Mystery of Marie Roget” (Cruz). When the detectives are contacted by one of Marie’s previous foster parents saying she might be lying, they jumped on the opportunity to close the case. They brought Marie in and questioned her about the validity of her statements.

Marie’s section of the article is about getting justice for someone who has been wronged by law enforcement and the judicial system. The popular podcast, Serial, also follows this convention, as does Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Mystery of Marie Roget” (Cruz).

When the detectives are contacted by one of Marie’s previous foster parents saying she might be lying, they jumped on the opportunity to close the case. They brought Marie in and questioned her about the validity of her statements. Later on, the Lynnwood Police Chief Steven Jensen requested an outside review of how the case was handled. Sgt. Gregg Rinta, a sex crimes supervisor with the Snohomish County Sheriff’s Office said that the interview in which Marie confesses was “nothing short of the victim being coerced into admitting that she lied about the rape” (Armstrong and Miller 38). This is obvious when reading the account of the second interview, “Without reading Marie her rights — you have the right to an attorney, you have the right to remain silent — the detectives asked Marie to write out the true story, admitting she had lied, admitting, in effect, that she had committed a crime” (Armstrong and Miller 38).

This is different than the context of most true crime narratives that involve police misconduct. This isn’t about someone being blamed for something they didn’t do. It is about Marie not being believed for something that happened to her.

While Marie’s story showcases police misconduct and ineptitude, the story of Detective Galbraith and Detective Hendershot is the opposite. It is about these two women catching the man who attacked at least seven women including Marie. Galbraith and Hendershot both live and work in small towns outside of Denver, Colorado. They came together due to similarities in the sexual assault cases they were both investigating. They began working the case together on January 6, 2011, and ended up catching O’Leary a little over a month later on February 11. This storyline is very different from most within the true crime genre.

True crime stories often focus on shoddy police work. We get an aspect of this in Marie’s story, but it is balanced with the story of Detective Galbraith and Detective Hendershot. Within these narratives, one of the more common conventions of storytelling is the omission of facts early on in the story so as to build suspense for the audience. True crime is as much about being entertaining and scintillating as it is about being true. “An Unbelievable Story of Rape” is an interesting take on the genre because it follows some of the expected conventions, while breaking others. It omits facts until the end, it focuses on grisly crimes involving women, and it is about someone being wronged by the justice system. On the other side, it does not follow the perpetrator or alleged perpetrator, and it also showcases good work within the police force.

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CALLING THE LEFT-INTELLECTUAL

By Genevia Kanu cultural criticism. The authors appear to be aware that this argument will most likely not appeal to a In this collective feature entitled “Cultural more conservative audience because they might Revolution,” the Editors of n+1 Magazine write a find the two to be mutually exclusive. The authors call to action for the left intellectuals. The message even go as far as to use “we”, including themselves in of the feature is nestled between comparisons of their own analysis to clearly state their alignment present social criticism that imitates Western with the audience’s imposed position. The direct Marxism, which focused more on culture and first-person approach applies a sense of ideology rather than political and economic responsibility to not only the reader but shares the analysis. Once the reader muddles through the load with those who are behind the printed pages. thick language, the rhetorical intentions are clear: The narrative “we” carries on and makes the article left intellectuals (artists, writers, academics, et less of a lecture which speaks to the readership of cetera) must find a way to move past our the paper, there is a sense community between incestuous conversations on culture, politics, and reader and writer. capitalism to bridge the gap between the According to previous managing editor, Alexandra proletariat and the bourgeoisie. This request is Heifetz in Writer’s Digest, the readership is young, well supported by the reality that left-intellectuals compared to other literary magazines. N+1’s appear to be the bourgeoisie, elevated in social audience looks for a magazine with a critical edge. class, but economically sinking. The argument This particular article fulfills n+1 ’s mission to do just itself is written for a particular readership, clearly that, “[our] aim is to talk about what was great in highlighted through the colorful style and culture without giving the word “great” over to pungent word choice. Stylistically, this piece is conservatives; and to be able to attack what is halfwritten for the highly educated which is evident hearted, dishonest and false” (Petit). Unlike the through the use of complex literary tools and online publication that is updated weekly, n+1 flamboyant language. Surprisingly, these stylistic magazine is only printed three times a year. choices create a rhetorically successful feature “Cultural Revolution” was published in their Spring despite its dedication to a niche audience.

2013 print Issue 16: Double Bind. Through the The introduction quickly acknowledges its taglines about the issue and the reasoning within intended audience--left intellectuals-- calling them the article, one can infer that their motivations are out by name. This is supported by the stylistic multi-faceted: the mounting social criticism of choices that follow. Immediately, the editors use media, the slow depreciation of intellectuals, the lack literary tools to express the close relationship of actual change but continued awareness. These between culture and politics. For example, the ideals also connect well with their funding source. very first sentence fragment uses anastrophe, “the According to their site, n+1 is published by the inversion of the usual order of words or clauses” 501(c)3 nonprofit n+1 Foundation. This tax status (Google Definitions). It reads, “THE CULTURAL allows them to receive funds from the New York NATURE OF POLITICS, the political nature of City Department of Cultural Affairs and the New culture” (Cultural Revolution par. 1). The York State Council on the Arts. These funders are comparison alerts the audience to the idea that listed on their “support” page as institutional these two things are going to be deeply supporters. All subscriptions from readers are taxintertwined in the coming article. This ideal of deductible, aptly advertised as donations. For those politics and culture being intertwined is usually a who donate in quantities of $250 or more have left-leaning one, especially when it comes to -34-

As mentioned above, for the last twenty years at least, the inclusive “we” have been educated in ways that highlight theory and cultures while having internal conversations that have become remained passive. They include themselves as perpetrators, learning all about culture and then making commentary but doing nothing productive with their criticism. This parallels Western Marxist Theory which did the same thing-- focusing on criticizing society, culture, and politics, but without action. The Editors continue quoting a number of classic articles on cultural criticism and western Marxist theory to compare the two. The parallelism between Western Marxist theory and cultural criticism is a mode of persuasion, adding to the ethos of this essay. It also appeals to the audience’s knowledge base. Again, left This is seen in their stylistic use of a intellectuals would not only enjoy the use such paraprosdokian. A paraprosdokian is a figure of literary tools, but expect it. This is a meta-criticism on speech in which the later part of the sentence is the cultural criticism that has occurred but shown no surprising, causing the reader to re-consider the results, remaining impotent. first part of the sentence. Their relational They continue later on in the piece, “If you want to approach draws the audience closer in, making change and not just interpret the world, why not give them even more unsuspecting when the up writing and become an organizer or activist? Part paraprosdokian is used: of the answer, at least, is that learning to organize, like learning to write, takes years, and you can’t just THE CULTURAL NATURE OF POLITICS, the substitute one job for the other ... if activists are political nature of culture: these have formed the indispensable, so are intellectuals” (Cultural main quandary debated by left intellectuals, Revolution). The Editors use of question speaks mainly among themselves (and there lies much of directly to the hypothetical naysayer, using a the trouble), over the twenty some years since the hypothetical question to answer the glooming, most oldest of us went off to colleges where Theory and obvious attack for those who believe this call to Cultural Studies were all the impotent rage. action should be left to activists. It is not just for them (Cultural Revolution par. 1) to create social change, but also for those who critique the world around them constantly-- the left Traditionally, the use of the idiom “all the rage” intellectual. Just as we need activists, we need implies that something is in-style, a fad. One intellectuals to do their job. To not only survey the would expect the sentence to praise the cultural world, creating articles or research for shift toward theory and cultural studies, but others on the inside to consume and critique. Instead, clearly it does not. The use of “all the rage” makes to use those observations and note that “[reformable it clear that this educational shift institutions should be reformed, and unreformed occurred manically across the college or university ones abandoned or replaced” (Cultural Revolution). setting, but the addition of the adjective This reinforces the theme: it is necessary for “impotent” the craze has been powerless or intellectuals to broaden their horizons and bridge the ineffective. gap.

distinguishable titles associated with their funding and invitations to exclusive events (n+1 donate page). This was not always the status of the magazine (according to an earlier article) , but being a subsidiary of a non-profit shows that those who created this magazine have defended its ability to effectively and positively influence their city. To receive such funding, this magazine must prove it is a culturally necessity to the City of New York. Readers, especially those who donate heavily, must be invested in the type of content within this literary magazine. This kind of audience enjoys the intellectual importance reflected in pieces like this.

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They continue on with the casual “we”, “[w]e are witnessing and sometimes personally experiencing a sharp de-classing of intellectuals. Our precious credentials are increasingly useless for generating income and , hopefully, social prestige, too” (Cultural Revolution). This hard hitting fact speaks to the social status of some intellectuals. Finding sustainable income is a challenge for the highly educated, but the social prestige and divide still somehow still exist. The Editors diction is sharp, but also kind of comical. They hope that with this drop in financial prestige, there is a attitude modification both for those looking at the community and those within the community. It alludes to a superiority complex that should cease to exist.

Though the piece is niche driven, it has a rather widely applicable message. As people, but especially intellectuals, we must bridge this growing gap, fiscally and culturally, between the rich and poor. As the the world continues to progress left intellectuals continue to critique the society around us, calling for the culture to change. This criticism is important, as well as our active pursuit of this change as the ability to attain financial success becomes harder to attain. We are under a slow attack that may leave our industry to a slow demise or worse, to become exclusive to the wealthy which would leave out a variety of necessary, diverse voices. Though n+1’s desire to be on the cutting edge forces the writing to be dense and slightly off-putting for the layman, their niche-driven writing is what makes the article effective-- otherwise it would fall on deaf ears.

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When Journalism Met Psycho-Thrillers How Dirty John became a hit to save lives

By Lilli Hime Journalists aren’t often hailed as saviors or heroes or even martyrs; they’re supposed to be objective lenses to society, not literary vigilantes. Good thing no one told Christopher Goffard. “(‘Dirty John’’ is) a story that I think can potentially save lives,” the award winning journalist said of his most recent work.

And it most certainly is a masterpiece with over 15 million listens and over 7 million downloads. Split into 6 installments, the series covers the relationship of John Meehan and Debra Newell as their love story quickly turns to terror. The pure power of this story comes from its journalistic experimentation and risk-taking, as Goffard is compelled to go above and beyond to make “Dirty John” an article that hooks people. It’s more than his usual award-winning skill as a journalist though; it’s his core belief in the story’s life-saving potential that drives him to make it compelling in every aspect. It’s simple, really; maximize the readership of your story, increase the likelihood that it reaches someone that needs it. And how do you maximize readership? Craft a story that meets people where they are and compels them where you want them to go. So, what risks exactly did Goffard take to make this a smashing success, and how did it work?

“Dirty John” is successful because it is a first-of-its-kind hybrid in media and genre, mixing podcast with moving pictures with trusty written articles and marrying the conventions of a psychological thriller into the magazine feature family. The result? The best damn thing you’ll read all year.

On the mixed media aspect, Gifford said it allows the story to meet audiences where they are and hopefully lure them into trying other forms of media, like a bait ‘n switch. Come for the podcast, try an article or video, and leave with a subscription. Or come for the print edition, get curious about the podcast, and, again, leave with a subscription. In this manner, his publication is able to achieve more regular customers and, with that Gifford acknowledges, hopefully increase the amount of people getting their news from trustworthy sources rather than questionable or slanted outlets.

Psychological thrillers, like any genre, maintain some common and identifiable conventions. The main one is the strong emphasis on characterization: characters drive the plots, their idiosyncratic and unstable psychological states create the tension for the conflict rather than outside forces, and their distorted perceptions beget moral ambiguity which plagues the audience as well. In this genre, thrills are provided not be external forces or events but rather the interplay between and within character dynamics. More often than not, the focus will be on developing the psyche and identity of the antagonist with just enough mystery as to keep the audience unsure of the character’s next move. Lastly, the style is informed by consistent tension created by ominous foreshadowings or consistently visibly kept secrets.

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The format of this series is indicative of the psychological thriller style of creating suspense and withholding information. Overall, the story arc ran parallel to the development and disintegration of Debra and John’s relationship with each new installation documenting its positive development or negative decimation. Rather than a single extensive article released at once, as most long form pieces are, the story was released in 6 episodes or installments, each containing a podcast and an article with mixed media aspects. This unique segmenting of the story is able to pull readers along by sprinkling foreshadowing hints of John’s secrecy throughout each episode before ending on some cliffhanger, most of which would reveal new information that left the reader craving to know how this development would affect the characters’ dynamic or psyche. For example, once the third episode reveals his history of abuse, both of drugs and people, the segment ends on the fact that Debra did not know the details of his past like we do, and him begging for a second chance. We see this unequal share of knowledge and are curious to see how the limited knowledge that Debra has just discovered, the history of arrests and restraining orders, affects her psychological response and changes their relationship. While the podcasts and the articles are very similar, there is one huge difference. The podcast begins in a morgue. In other words, you know someone dies at the end of this. This doesn’t so much add a new pull factor as it does amplify one that is already there: the ominous feeling of something bad to come.

Considering the role of characterization in progressing the plot of “Dirty John,” Goffard captures the strongly toxic dynamic of a manipulative, aggressive, and two-faced John Meehan with the forgiving, overly trustworthy Debra Newell.

However, the rub between the two, or at least the accelerators of conflict, seem to be the characters of Terra, Jacquelyn, and Shad, Debra’s daughters and nephew. These three instantly create tension in their distrust of John, providing him some psychological sparring partners and pushing out his cover as kind, oafish husband. Their pushback forwards the story arc and forces John to reveal his aggressive and controlling temper, revealing more and more of the mystery of who he really is. If John is the beast and Debra seems to think he is some domestic house animal, the kids are the one to poke it with the stick to reveal its true colors.

Gofford continues to utilize the psychological thriller practice of character-built-plots to accomplish his goal of saving lives. He believes he is saving lives by raising awareness of a lesser recognized type of emotional abuse: coercive control, in which one partner manipulates the other. In their relationship, it looked like John not letting Debra drive her own car, isolating her from her family, installing cameras around the house as “security.” It’s difficult to spot and even harder to validate because not only is this type of emotional abuse often disguised as care but it is also difficult to break off. Victims still love their partners and, because this kind of abuse isn’t necessarily violent (thought it can and often does escalate), they rationalize it as maybe just a character flaw or something they can love away. Often victims continue to endure coercive control because they still love their partner and think, like Debra, that if they show enough kindness to their partner, they can change them. Gofford makes these small yet red flagged observations within John and Debra’s relationships often but in the form of a whisper, to mimic the rationalization of small inconsistencies or problems, to reflect how easily one can fall into an emotionally abusive relationship.

One character who is not actually present but still felt throughout the story is Debra’s late sister, Cindi Vickers. It is revealed early on in the series that she was killed by her abusive husband. Her death paints the whole tone of the story, making the reader 1) consider whether this will happen to Debra or one of

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her kids who gets in John’s way, and 2) question how she can have a family history traumatized by domestic abuse and still fall so easily into a relationship with John. But Cindi adds nuance to the story.

She is a reminder that there are millions of people, unaccounted and accounted for, who suffer domestic abuse, who know what it looks like, who know it is bad, and still, for whatever reason, stay. Cindi, though she is the ominous ghost in this psychological thriller and the empathetic reminder to the audience that, though we often know what is bad, we will still subject ourselves to it thinking our case is different.

Gofford molds his characters to represent an ideal or issue much larger than themselves, emboldening the psychological tensions even more and creating the larger metaphor for the message he wants to get across. John Meehan is easily the antagonist, or the monster, in this story, but he is also a metaphor.

John is the vehicle for the tenor which is coercive control. While he is, of course, an extreme case, that extremity serves well to hyperbolize him as the monster. It’s important that the audience see not only his aggression, sadism, threats, and calculated evil, but also how he first appeared to us and Debra: the gentleman interested in learning about her, the kind and vulnerable man, the manly man with the soft side for the woman he loves and the grandkids, the one who would carry her purse and carry groceries in and take the car in for maintenance. Contrast him with Debra, who serves as a metaphor for, well, anyone, really, but especially the L.A. Times’ key audience. The L.A. Times brags of its “affluent” and well-educated audience. Debra Newell is the perfect way to reach them: rich, educated, independent, kind, socially minded (her will to hire single mothers). Debra ran her own business and her own life.

Who could ever consider she would be the one to fall into such an abusive relationship? Debra, alongside John’s other victims, is the perfect vehicle for the tenor that is all abused women. Gofford makes the point of showing all of John’s victims as successful, well off, educated, and independent to indicate that everyone, even L.A. Times readers (as educated and rich as they may be) is vulnerable to this kind of victimization.

Episode 4 is “Forgiveness,” a strange yet sadly telling subtitle for a psychological thriller. Again, Debra makes the perfect metaphor for the victim, exemplifying the statistic that it often takes a person 7 tries to leave their abusive partner. Here, we see the psychological thriller aspect meet real life yet again, as moral ambiguity sets in. We see the principle of forgiveness and seeing the good in people, two aspects our society preaches highly upon, bring her to doubt herself and her choice to leave. Victims often still love their abusers; they just want the abuse to stop. The drive to fulfill this high principle of forgiveness and compassion when it is least deserved is admirable, but as the grounds for her returning to an abusive relationship, what was wrong with it?

Here’s where the rub of moral ambiguity comes in. If we are to forgive and be merciful, was Debra wrong to forgive John? Surely, if Arlane Hart could forgive her daughter’s murderer, then Debra could, and really should, forgive John for some miniscule controlling behavior. Victims often still love their abusers; Debra did still love John, she did make her vows for worse or for better. Gofford poses this ethical analysis question to the reader in such a way that builds empathy and personal understanding for the place many victims of abuse find themselves in. But he also could be showing readers who are current victims of abuse how nonsensical it can appear on the outside, perhaps raising a mirror to their own lives and subliminally begging them to leave their abusive relationships like they, the reader, are urging Debra to do.

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No matter how the reader chooses to interpret it, it is obvious that Gofford’s use of the psychological thriller genre within his long form journalistic piece was a smashing success with which to achieve his purpose of reaching more readers and thus, increasing the likelihood that this story saves someone. And while we can’t very well measure how many lives were saved, if any, we can infer based on the popularity of this story. Oftentimes, when a story explodes in popularity, it is because it has since been untold or underrecognized. Telling a story validates and recognizes an experience; in this case, the very real case of emotional abuse. But we don’t have to guess at the effectiveness of this piece; we can see all of the conversation and coming-forward stories that it has sparked to realize that people saw themselves in Debra Newell’s story, and hopefully, moved to change that.

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Query Letter Dear Raul Hernandez, Austin likes to portray itself as a liberal and inclusive city, but take a hard look at the music scene here and it will tell you a different story. The topic of equality and women’s rights are taking center stage as of late with the MeToo movement, and the national discussion about equal representation and pay in all industries and communities. I talked to five women from different parts of Austin’s music scene to get their take on what is wrong, what is good, and how the community could come together to make it better.

I would like to write an article that informs people of the lack of representation in the Austin Music scene so that they can learn how to fix it. This 1,200-word article would focus on specific examples of sexism and lack of representation here in Austin as told by women who have experienced it first hand. It is about more than just including more female fronted bands, it is also increasing the number of female photographers, sound engineers, roadies, writers, and more. I interviewed writer and founder of thenewnine, Emily Treadwell; front person, lead guitarist, and songwriter for Mamalarky, Livvy Bennett; bassist for Sailor Poon, and street team manager for Margin Walker, Mariah Stevens-Ross; photographer and co-founder of Ladies Music Club, Jenna Million; and booker at Cheer Up Charlies and writer for ANON magazine, Trish Connelly. All of these women are making names for themselves within the Austin music scene, and they all have stories of being mistreated, looked-down-on, or written-off because of their gender. This article would include personal experience as well as suggestions for improvement from these women.

I am a journalist, musician, creative writer, and student at St. Edward’s University who has three years of editorial experience. If you would like to review my resume and clips please visit my website https://corinnebates.wordpress.com. I grew up in the San Antonio area, but have been attending concerts in Austin for about 8 years now, and writing about them for 5. I’ve been to shows of all sorts, ranging from country to pop to punk, so I feel like I have a good grasp on the music scene here, and that my perspective will be valuable in this piece.

Thank you for considering this query. I hope you agree that a story on the need for more representation and inclusion in Austin’s music scene would be a good fit for Austin Chronicle. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely, Corinne Bates

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Query Letter Dear Online Editor, Saturday night, Alex Luu adorns himself in his traditional Chinese dress, a royal blue Changshan patterned with intricate bronze dragons. He strides on stage and stops in front of the mic. He inhales and begins.

He’s not giving a speech; he’s spitting a poem. Because this is the Texas Grand Slam and Alex Luu, to the disapproval of his parents, is a slam poet. Little do they know, he is one poem away from $1,500.

I would like to propose “Yellow Boy Shine: The People’s Slam Poet Champ" for your profile section. This story is more than how Alex Luu discovered a love for poetry but how he reclaimed his cultural identity after an entire childhood of assimilation. With Hyphen’s mission of carving out the unique space of Asian America, a cultural crossroads, I believe this piece would serve your audience well by resonating with their struggles with assimilation as well as entertaining them through the medium of his artistic journey.

This piece would run in the 1,000 - 1,300-word range, with profile photographs by Filipino photographer, Christopher Diaz. Given Luu’s profession as a storyteller, I believe this profile is best delivered as a narrative.

I am a student journalist at St. Edward’s University, a literary intern with local Austin artist Abe Louise Young, and an Asian-American immigrant. I’ve published over 40 articles in our award-winning campus newspaper, Hilltop Views.

Thank you for your time and consideration of this article. I hope to hear back from you soon.

All the best, Lilli Hime St. Edward’s University Literary Intern with Abe Louise Young

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Query Letter Dear Rachel Sanders, While inclusion and representation continue to grow on the runways, on the television, and in the media, there is little to no conversation about bridging this unspoken racial divide. We expect our ingroups to do the work, to support our art but fail to consider why we are not asking the other marginalized communities. If one group does ask, some sort of racial argument ensues. In this article, I propose the possible cause of this tension and pose some probable solutions.

This cultural criticism attempts to evaluate the current social relationship between Asian-Americans and Black Americans through the comparison of Crazy Rich Asians and Black Panther. This 2,000word feature column is titled “Why the Crazy Rich Asians could never be Black Panther-- And that's a good thing”, highlighting conversations with an artist, a student, and the Director of Diversity and Inclusion at St. Edward’s University. It is a small way to shed light on an issue that affects all of us as people of color.

I am a student focusing on professional writing at St. Edward’s University who has three years of intense coursework on writing and rhetoric. If you would like to review my resume and some writing samples, please visit my website geneviakanu.com. I have successfully written a grant, but hope to expand my writing into publications like yours.

Thank you for considering this query. I hope you agree that a cultural criticism of Crazy Rich Asians and Black Panther would be a good fit for Buzzfeed Reader.

Be Well, Genevia Kanu

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