GIRL’S JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

from Gentleman's Purpose eMagazine - August 2022

SLICK OUT THE MOUTH

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Written by Justin Gaynor

As gentlemen seeking to live a healthy, balanced life while fulfilling our purpose, we inevitably run into the old saying, “Girl’s just want to have fun.” So, as men that certainly enjoy having fun, how do we balance that with our responsibility to set the tone for relationships with the opposite sex that are considered healthy and fruitful in God’s economy? In this article, we’re going to explore three ways to enjoy our female friends, co-workers, and lovers more.

First, we all know that men and women are different. Without question, the women in my life add significant value and joy to everyday living. So, as important as common ground is, look for ways to explore and celebrate the uniqueness of the individual women in your life. This will take time and it is not so much like figuring out a puzzle or a problem with a carburetor as it is considering the mind of a great painter like Salvador Dali or Picasso as you behold one of their prized works. As you notice certain areas of brightness, or deeply shaded areas, gently press in, ask questions and ruminate on the responses. Walk with them a little while. Commit yourself to seeing their joys and sorrows, to hearing their whimpers and their roars. Enjoy life with who they actually are and not who you imagine them to be or who you want them to become.

Next, get ready to have fun! Know how to do spontaneous things that bring excitement and mystery and awe into her life. Understand, however, that while she may find this sexy and cool, most women have an underlying desire, a strong desire, for stability and security. You will need to learn to ebb and flow with her in these things and really take hold of the unforced rhythms of God’s grace in your relationship. Emotional IQ comes into play at this point, almost as much as prayer. Praying for the women in your life is without question the best way to stay on the same wavelength. Pray that God gives you great adventures together, a solid foundation for long-term viability, and clear, honest communication to be able to embrace joy, happiness, and fun together.

Lastly, learn to draw her to yourself with honesty and genuine lovingkindness. We are men. We are very visual, and very sexual beings. Being honest with ourselves about that without allowing that carnal nature into the driving seat at inappropriate times will help us grow as gentlemen. There are, of course, times when our sexual energy and appetites can be satisfied with the one we love in a way that is beautiful in God’s sight, exciting and fulfilling in her heart, and healthy and upbuilding in our own heart and soul. This takes wise stewardship of your own heart and soul, though. Let the Spirit lead in this as in other areas of your life.

To sum things up, be a student of how God is at work in the women in your life. This will help you grow in wisdom. You cannot systematize the relationships you have with the women in your life. Yes, learning the basics of the dances you engage in is important, but in real life, you have to build on those foundational steps with a freedom, rhythm, and grace that simply can’t be turned into a universal checklist. Lastly, let your love and personal being command, not demand, a free-will response from her. Giving her as much time and space as required for her to truly embrace you as who you are. Be prepared for pain and frustration, and be prepared to learn to love more like Jesus in all of your relationships.