The Georgetown Voice, April 22, 2010

VOICE the georgetown

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HOYA, UNIVERSITY TO CONTINUE CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP PAGE 4

WOMEN’S LAX: DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK PAGE 6

DOUBLE THE CHICKEN, DOUBLE THE EVIL PAGE 10

Georgetown University’s Weekly Newsmagazine Since 1969 w April 22, 2010 w Volume 42, Issue 27 w georgetownvoice.com

2 the georgetown voice

april 22, 2010

Voice Crossword “Four Years in a Mental Institute” by Cal Lee

ACROSS 1. To be abroad 5. Red-clad bear 9. “Give Me Just One Night (__ Noche)” 12. Oval Office holder 17. White-Gravenor office holder 18. Posthumously published Frank 19. Ballplayer in Southeast 20. It can be impacted 21. “Telephone” Lady 22. Superb 24. Vertical 25. Institution for higher selections?

28. Spring break souvenir?

29. Bo or Jack 30. __ of Good Feelings 31. Lbs. and kgs.

34. Second in a pair of advertisement photos 37. Cristo __ Network 38. Italian wine region 40. Animal associated with Cubs 41. It can change with the weather 42. Fictional maids?

43. Institution designed to test speed?

45. Common comeback: “Your __” 46. Texas uni.

47. Back of the pack 48. Roman holiday 49. Laudatory lines 50. Skier’s retreat 52. Supported 55. Institution set up to honor pretenders?

57. Madison Square Garden staple 60. Survey filler 61. Relax spot 64. Hatch in the Senate

65. Film unit 67. Jennings from “Jeop ardy!”

68. Corn holder 69. Institution of comfort?

72. __ judicata 73. Type of package 74. Iowa State town 75. What you may hand to a horse 76. Net alternative 77. Translation fish 78. Age as a flower 79. Northwest key?

80. Bovine bleat 81. Large load 82. Institutions of similar opinions?

89. Group based in Leavey 92. Susan Boyle, for one 93. One of many on this page 94. Times competitor?

95. Middle of XXX 96. “Africa” band 97. Caffeine provider 98. Foreboding message from a teacher 99. Antlered animal 100. Hurl everywhere 101. Generally unread messages

DOWN 1. “__ of Seventeen” 2. Kinda blue 3. Latest style 4. Passed 5. __ the back 6. __ about (roughly) 7. Theoretically 8. Eagles’ frontman Don 9. Golden rule preposition 10. Spice in Reiss?

11. Jockey or boxer 12. Horseshoe letter 13. Earn bad reviews on ratemyprofessor 14. Ginger __ 15. Not PC? 16. Studio work 23. Eighth mo. in preJulian times 26. Feather holder, perhaps 27. Cartman from “South Park” 31. “Hope in reality is the __ of all evils” Nietzsche 32. Bud offering 33. Lieu 34. Bolt or cartridge 35. Ingredient for a messy fight 36. Thick volume 37. Many sections of the Great Wall 38. Energizer offering 39. Doodle 40. Pick a random letter, perhaps 42. Mansion, in Hindi 43. Fixes a document error 44. American novel “East __” 46. Stress 47. “Orange Crush” group 51. Menacingly ogle 53. Led a presentation

54. Fruit bearers 55. “I compare you to __ from a rose...”

56. The A in AIM 57. Napping spots 58. First lady in Italia 59. Special verbs (abbr.)

61. Boo boo coverup 62. Sweat source 63. Eve’s second son 66. Twisty curve 70. British mace, or trigonometric func.

71. Preppier than Polo 72. Sleigh landing spot 73. Vancouver winter athletes 76. Alights for the night 77. Spectral acclamation 79. Place for French study 80. Site with a butterfly logo 81. Illegal cricket action 82. Obsolete country name 83. October stone 84. Savor a scoop 85. French thinker?

86. Unappealing cafeteria food 87. Hawaiian dance 88. Thunder or Lightning 89. Writer-uppers (abbr.)

90. Exist 91. Numbered box

Answers to last week’s puzzle “Relay for Life”

correction

An editorial last week incorrectly stated that Georgetown has tentative plans to construct a hospital in Gaza. In fact, the plans are for a hospital in the West Bank. The Voice regrets the error.

editorial

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VOICE the georgetown

Volume 42.27 April 22, 2010 Editor-in-Chief: Jeff Reger Managing Editor: Juliana Brint Publisher: Emily Voigtlander Editor-at-Large: Will Sommer Director of Technology: Alexander Pon Blog Editor: Molly Redden News Editor: Kara Brandeisky Sports Editor: Adam Rosenfeld Feature Editor: Tim Shine Cover Editor: Iris Kim Leisure Editor: Chris Heller Voices Editor: Emma Forster Photo Editor: Hilary Nakasone Design Editors: Richa Goyal, Ishita Kohli Literary Editor: James McGrory Crossword Editor: Cal Lee Contributing Editor: Daniel Cook, Dan Newman Assistant Blog Editors: Hunter Kaplan, Imani Tate Assistant News Editors: Cole Stangler, J. Galen Weber Assistant Sports Editors: Nick Berti, Rob Sapunor Assistant Cover Editor: Jin-ah Yang Assistant Leisure Editors: Brendan Baumgardner, Leigh Finnegan Assistant Photo Editors: Jackson Perry, Shira Saperstein Assistant Design Editors: Megan Berard, Robert Duffley

Associate Editors: Matthew Collins, Lexie Herman Staff Writers:

Jeff Bakkensen, Cyrus Bordbar, Tom Bosco, Aleta Greer, Victor Ho, Kate Imel, Satinder Kaur, Liz Kuebler, Kate Mays, Scott Munro, Katie Norton, Sean Quigley, Justin Hunter Scott, Sam Sweeney, Keenan Timko, Tim Wagner

Staff Photographers:

Keaton Bedell, Max Blodgett, Jue Chen, Matthew Funk, Lexie Herman, Lynn Kirshbaum

Staff Designers:

Marc Fichera, Kelsey McCullough, Dara Morano, Holly Ormseth, Marc Patterson, Miykaelah Sinclair

Copy Chief: Geoffrey Bible

Copy Editors: Aodhan Beirne, Caroline Garity, Keaton Hoffman, Matt Kerwin, Molly Redden

Editorial Board Chair: Eric Pilch Editorial Board:

Brendan Baumgardner, Juliana Brint, George D’Angelo, Emma Forster, Chris Heller, Dan Newman, Molly Redden, Will Sommer, Cole Stangler, Imani Tate, J. Galen Weber

Head of Business: George D’Angelo

CAN I BRING MY GAT?

Calm crazy neighbors, back student rep “How are you going to discourage students from bringing their cars? How do you discourage them, outside of shooting them?” a Georgetown resident exclaimed at a meeting organized by the Citizens Association of Georgetown Monday night.

To audience laughter, CAG Vice President Luca Pivato—who is perhaps best remembered for telling a young alum who disagreed with his criticism of the University’s 2010 Campus Plan to “fuck off”—explained how to report illegally parked cars and added, “To shoot, it’s up to you.”

This is just the latest example of the unreasonably antagonistic approach to towngown issues many local leaders have adopted, a problem exacerbated by many of the current members of Georgetown’s Advisory Neighborhood Commission. It is time for students, faculty, and residents who are put off by these neighborhood leaders’ increasing belligerence to encourage pro-University candidates in this year’s ANC election.

Typically, the lone student commissioner on Georgetown’s seven-member ANC is tasked with presenting the University’s perspective. The small pool of students willing to

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On this week’s cover ... 826DC Cover Illustration: Iris Kim

take on this largely thankless position is further winnowed down due to the difficulty of getting on the ballot. Only students graduating in odd numbered years are eligible, and they must decide to run during the spring of their freshman year. The student commissioner must also live on Georgetown’s campus for a minimum of two and a half years, summers included, which precludes studying abroad.

Candidates must also obtain the signatures of 25 registered D.C. voters living in their Single Member District, a tough task since so few Georgetown students are registered to vote in the District and the student commissioner’s SMD is largely composed of student dormitories. The D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics doesn’t make things much easier, providing candidates with outdated lists of registered voters in their SMD. Given the significant difficulty of running for student ANC commissioner, Jake Sticka (COL ’13) should be commended for deciding to enter this year’s race. Although he has been on campus for less than a year, Sticka already has a clear picture of current town-gown dynamics and the importance of the 2010 Campus Plan’s passage, telling the

Voice he hopes he can get the neighbors to be “more cooperative in their relationship with the University.”

Students and faculty should do what they can to support Sticka’s candidacy. Students who are registered to vote in D.C. and faculty who live on campus can help facilitate Sticka’s campaign by getting in touch with him and letting him know they will sign his candidacy petition. Students who are not D.C. voters should seriously weigh the costs and benefits of changing their voter registration.

While it is heartening that there is already a strong candidate running for the student commissioner position, it will take more than one commissioner to change the dynamics of the ANC. Students and faculty living off-campus, as well as residents unhappy with the current state of town-gown relations, should consider challenging the ANC incumbents.

Even if they don’t win, pro-University candidates could at least change the combative discourse and encourage neighbors to compromise on the 2010 Campus Plan. There’s a saying that all politics is local—any one concerned about the future of the University should start acting accordingly.

STILL VOTELESS

Does Norton even want D.C. voting rights?

We got fooled again. Just as it seemed that Congress would pass the D.C. Voting Rights Act, which would give Washington a voting delegate in the House of Representatives, D.C.’s non-voting delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton (D) decided not to introduce the legislation this week.

Norton has a good reason to avoid bringing the bill to the floor of Congress in its current form. The Senate version contains an amendment that would strip the city of its strict gun-control laws, leaving in place only the relatively permissive federal laws.

The House version was expected to impose even weaker language. A recent drive-by shooting using an AK-47-style assault rifle, a 9mm handgun, and a .45-caliber pistol in the Washington Highlands neighborhood in

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Southeast Washington, in which four died and five were wounded, demonstrates the risks of allowing these weapons to circulate freely in Washington.

The amount of opposition the gun amendment provoked in the city government surely put Norton in a difficult position.

“After seeing the images from grieving parents of their children riddled with bullets from an AK-47 at yesterday’s hearing on the South Capitol Street shootings, I could never support a compromise for fundamental voting rights and representation by making assault weapons legal on our streets and giving up local control of the city’s gun laws,” Councilmember Tommy Wells (D-Ward 6) said in a press release, while Councilmember Mary Cheh (D-Ward

3) circulated a petition against the bill.

While the virtues of compromising on gun-control laws in exchange for voting rights remain debatable, some blame for the bill’s continued stagnation in congressional purgatory belongs to Norton.

While Norton tends to be treated as a beloved institution in Washington, it is hard to understand lately why she deserves such deference and respect. From the late 1990s imposition of the D.C. financial control board to today’s push for voting rights, Norton has routinely failed to turn what little power she possesses into progress for Washington. Now, she can’t even get voting rights passed—even though Democrats control both houses of Congress and the White House.

NOT SO SAFE(RIDES)

University needs to address assaults On April 9, an unknown man sexually assaulted a female Georgetown student in Copley Hall. On April 16, another female Georgetown student was sexually assaulted at gunpoint on the 3300 block of Prospect St. NW. Coupled with the rash of robberies around campus over the past few months, a clear and troubling pattern has emerged: the University is not taking sexual assault seriously.

Despite the shocking number of sexual assaults at Georgetown this semester, the University administration has yet to comment on the crimes. Thus far, administrative officials have not publicly announced plans to address the numerous safety issues for students both on and off campus. (Department of Public Safety and University officials did not respond to requests for comment.) Until students, staff, and faculty hear directly from those responsible, we can only assume that nothing has changed.

The administration’s silence on the issue of student safety is particularly disappointing, since there are many feasible and concrete steps that can be taken to address the public safety problem. One of the biggest failures in current student safety policy is the way in which the SafeRides shuttle program is operated. Instead of allowing students to wait safely inside buildings, and calling students upon the vehicle’s arrival, the program requires students to wait outside—forcing them to spend 10-15 minutes in the very environment that causes them to feel unsafe.

SafeRides drivers often diverge from their estimated arrival times, typically arriving much later than anticipated. But possibly even more problematic are the occasions when drivers arrive early, before students step outside to wait. If the student is not present and waiting outside, the request is considered unnecessary.

A student who then goes outside at the appointed time can wait indefinitely, because of this basic lack of coordination. A relatively minor tweak to the program, through improved communication, would make SafeRides vastly more effective and secure.

Ultimately, however, the University’s tepid response to the increase in serious crime places the responsibility for safety on Georgetown students themselves. While administrators can take proactive steps to create a safer campus environment, we must all do everything we can to protect ourselves. Remember to avoid walking alone after dark, and always lock doors and windows. If you must travel alone at night, call Saferides at 202-794-RIDE. Always stay in touch with friends and check in with them regularly. But above all, demand that the administration take the necessary steps to fix our inadequate public safety system.

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april 22, 2010

Hoya defers independence, reflects on diversity progress

by Holly Tao The Hoya has decided to postpone independence for at least one year for financial reasons, according to Kevin Barber (COL ’11), the chair of The Hoya’s Board of Directors.

Barber said that “the additional expenses we’d incur going independent” had affected their decision.

“Like all papers, we’ve experienced declines in revenue,” Barber said.

But Barber and Editor-in-Chief Marissa Amendolia (COL’11) confirmed that independence remains an important goal for the future.

Around this time last year, The Hoya was still reeling from criticism of its April Fool’s Issue, an attempt at satire that alienated many members of the Georgetown community, particularly minority groups.

Editors say that diversity training and rethinking the scope of story coverage in their paper over the past year helped them prepare for independence from the Univer-

sity, but many students involved in promoting campus diversity feel The Hoya could do a better job covering minority issues.

Several concrete changes have already taken place at The Hoya. Last winter, the newspaper established two new positions dedicated to promoting institutional diversity and reforming diversity recruiting, and is in the process of hiring an ombudsman. Over the last two semesters, The Hoya’s writers and editors have attended ethics seminars, as well as a diversity training session run by the Center of Multicultural Equity and Access and ResLife. Byron White, a former journalist and an associate vice president of community engagement at Xavier University, was also asked to conduct an external review of the paper and its practices, which led to 18 proposed recommendations intended to start dialogue about change.

Amendolia said she thinks the paper has made progress addressing the varied interests and concerns of the Georgetown community. Amendolia highlighted

several features—such as Campus Spotlight, In the Week Ahead, and Center Stage—in the expanded version of The Guide that she feels cover the events and causes of different student groups. Barber said writers and editors were encouraged to get more involved with political and cultural clubs and opinion editors were pushed to solicit articles from “a diverse pool of writers.”

“It’s not just about accommodating a quota,” Executive Editor Eamon O’Connor (COL ’12) said.

“It’s a very positive thing for our staff to made conscious of … the many stories that can be found on campus, but unfortunately, The Hoya has not covered in the past.”

Georgetown administrators and student leaders who censured the April Fool’s edition last year have recognized the efforts made by the staff over the past year.

“I have been encouraged by … the way [The Hoya] has engaged with many students and administrators across the campus community,” Vice President of Student Affairs

good times and the bad times recede from consciousness,” Schiffmann said.

Ben Jarrett, Georgetown’s assistant director of advancement, and Heather Greig, director of annual fund marketing and operations, said that most students take a holistic view of their time at Georgetown. Isolated events like the Plan A protest or Karl Rove speech typically do not deter alumni from giving, they said.

Jenny Wyss, the assistant campaign director at University of Virginia’s development office, recently spoke with an alum who would not give to U.Va. because he felt the university had unfairly treated his fraternity.

After 10 years, he was finally considering giving.

“I don’t think controversy turns people off [from giving] forever or an extended period of time,” Wyss said.

Wyss said the alum wanted to target his donation toward his school in particular, the College of Arts and Sciences.

At Georgetown as well, donors can chose what their money will go toward, which allows people to eliminate the chance that they will be funding a cause to which they are ideologically

opposed. According to Jarrett, 74 percent of donations from seniors this year were to the Georgetown Fund, which is dedicated to providing need-based scholarships to undergraduates.

While efforts are made to make young alumni comfortable with donating, they pose a particular challenge for universities’ development offices, both Jarrett and Wyss said. According to Jarrett, if alumni give three or more out of their first five post-graduation years, they are significantly more likely to become lifelong donors. On the other hand, people who haven’t donated in the 10 years after graduation usually never give, Greig said.

Additionally, because recent classes are so much larger than earlier ones, recent classes account for a large proportion of total gifts received. Last year, the class of 2008 made more individual donations to Georgetown than any other class.

At the same time, Schiffmann believes Georgetown should note how many people are donating and for what reasons.

“The university should consider the underlying reasons for the complaints and take it as feedback,” Schiffmann said.

Young alumni give despite complaints

by Matthew Kerwin When members of Plan A: Hoyas for Reproductive Justice chained themselves to the statue of John Carroll in Healy Circle to protest the University’s sexual health policies last month, alumnus Fiore Mastroianni (COL ’09) wrote on Twitter: “Georgetown administrators negotiate with pro abortion hooligans. Future donations from me: $0.” A few days later, Alexa Rozell (SFS ’11) found her own reason not to give to Georgetown, writing on Twitter: “Like I was going to give any money to Georgetown after grad, but bringing Karl Rove to campus is the nail in the coffin.”

This threat from soon-to-be and recent alumni of not donating to the University is nothing new. Eden Schiffmann (COL ’08), a member of the 2008 Alumni Committee, lived with a group of students who created a Facebook group urging their peers not to donate to Georgetown after they were banned from hosting parties for a semester. Schiffmann ultimately convinced all of the students who started the group to donate anyway.

“Attitudes definitely soften over time as people remember the

Todd Olson wrote in an e-mail.

Some student leaders, especially those involved with diversity initiatives on campus, however, find that there are still improvements to be made. While acknowledging that certain subjects like student participation in immigration reform and the progress of the working groups established in the wake of protests sparked by the April Fool’s Issue are being covered to a greater extent, they contend that diversity issues as a whole are still not being covered in a nuanced and complex way.

A number of student leaders cited frustrations that their message is being lost in translation.

“All coverage of the diversity issues [has] been poorly informed and protective of the status quo,” Brian Kesten (COL ’10), the founder of the Student Commission for Unity, wrote in an e-mail. “Most articles related to diversity argue trivial issues like defining diversity and protecting the institution from a perceived attack on ‘diversity of ideas.’ They ignore

[the problems of] the exclusion of minority perspectives and representation in our student body and curriculum.”

Duyen Bui (SFS’10), who has worked with the Academic Working Group, said that while cultural shows are mentioned in The Guide, she finds that The Hoya rarely goes deeper into issues of diversity.

“They don’t cover the events enough to the extent that readers understand why the clubs are doing these events,” Bui said.

Ryan Wilson (COL’12), the chair of the Student Commission for Unity, echoed these sentiments.

“The Hoya does a good job of covering surface level stories,” Wilson said.

Kesten, however, said that his concerns about The Hoya’s level of insight into diversity do not mean he is against their move for independence from the university.

“I hope that it provides them the opportunity they seek to be completely responsible for their journalism,” Kesten said.

—Additional reporting by Molly Redden

Jackson Perry

Former speaker of the House Newt Gingrich introduces his movie, Nine Days that Changed the World Monday night. Callista Gingrich spoke about the value of religion in social change.

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the georgetown voice 5

Sexual assaults rattle campus

by Cole Stangler

IsHITa koHLI

Small gains in admissions diversity

by J. Galen Weber After the student town hall meeting in response to last year’s April Fool’s issue of The Hoya, President John DeGioia announced a commitment to recruit more Georgetown applicants from underrepresented groups. Although the specific initiatives of the Admissions Working Group— established following last year’s town hall—were made after this year’s pool had been admitted, a detailed profile of students admitted to Georgetown’s class of 2014 shows marginal increases in ethnic diversity.

African-American students now make up ten percent of the accepted student body, up from nine percent last year, while Asian students now make up 14 percent, up from 12 percent last year. The percentage of students who identified as Caucasian decreased from 55 percent of the applicant pool to 54 percent.

Admissions Working Group member Ryan Wilson (COL ’12) said the group never set percentage goals

for the ethnic makeup of the admitted applicant pool.

Wilson said he was pleased with the applicant ethnicity breakdown, but was far more concerned with how diverse a student body that pool would yield.

“The numbers are nice, but I’m more interested in yield,” Wilson said. “Georgetown hasn’t really had problems getting a large number of applicants to apply, but we’ve had trouble in yielding those applicants.”

Dean of Undergraduate Admissions Charles Deacon acknowledged the university’s low yield for low-income students in past years.

“There is an imbalance not only in ethnicity, but also socioeconomic status,” Deacon said.

In past years, about 39 percent of admitted students who requested financial aid attended Georgetown, compared with approximately 49 percent of those who did not request aid.

Deacon said that the University is working to bring in more lowincome students and minority stu-

New candidates, new laughs This year, the big show in Washington local politics will be the mayoral primary race between incumbent Adrian Fenty (D) and D.C. Council Chair Vincent Gray (D). But even with Fenty’s obsession with working out and Gray’s resemblance to actor Vincent Price, the most entertaining competition may be the race to fill the chairman’s seat that Gray is vacating.

We absolutely need more entertainment in Washington politics. With rascal-for-life Marion Barry (D-Ward 8) hamstrung with restrictions imposed by Council

colleagues after his latest scandal, hopeful citizens turned to mayoral frat buddy and city contracts grubber Sinclair Skinner for scofflaw silliness. But Skinner, under investigation for receiving contracts his firm seems unable to fulfill, has failed to be the comedy gold mine he could have been. The guy investigating him is named Trout, for goodness sake!

So we’ll have to turn to the race for Council Chair, and we won’t be disappointed. The race, between Councilmember Jack Evans (D-Ward 2) and Councilmember Kwame Brown (D-At Large)

dents, who tend to require financial aid, by increasing scholarship offerings. Deacon noted that 58 percent of students who received a scholarship from the Georgetown Scholarship Program last year ended up attending. Deacon said the university was looking to channel money from the Georgetown Fund into the scholarship program.

“A lot of efforts are being expended to encourage alumni to give to this program,” Deacon said.

Additionally, while the number of applicants decreased from last year for every school except the College, admission rates remained essentially unchanged. The business school saw the greatest drop in applicants, from 2,876 overall applicants last year to 2,508 this year.

Deacon attributed this decline to the state of the economy.

“I think what you see is people hedging their bets; they’re not committing themselves to one field,” Deacon said, adding that in the years just before the current recession, applications to the business school had increased rapidly. has the potential to be the biggest, most entertaining spectacle this September.

Consider Brown, who has a penchant for dressing down and testing out city services. Like the prince who swims across the castle moat to see how his peo-

city on a Hill

by Will Sommer

A bi-weekly column on D.C. news and politics ple live, Brown has been testing whether taxicabs will stop for him if he’s not wearing a suit and how hard it is to get help at a career service center.

Here’s a representative tweet

Although the Metropolitan Police Department has already increased patrols in some areas near the University in light of recent violent crime, an April 10 sexual assault in Copley Hall and an April 16 sexual assault on the 3300 block of Prospect St. NW have done little to assuage students’ fears that crime is on the rise in Georgetown.

Claire McKinley (SFS ’12), who resides in Copley Hall, said that she has been avoiding doing her laundry for a few days, and is more wary of being alone in the stairwells.

“We do lock our doors, take all the necessary precautions, but it’s been a little more edgy lately,” McKinley said.

Brigit McLaughlin (COL ’10), co-Chair of Take Back the Night, a student group formed to combat gendered violence, said that sexual assaults are a multi-dimensional problem that must be prevented through education and cultural changes, not just increased security measures.

Jared Watkins (COL ‘11), who is a co-founder of GU Men Creating Change, a group of male students working to end violence against women, said that while security measures can be improved, they don’t solve the problem in its entirety.

“I’ve heard people talk about security cameras, which might have helped in the Co-

on his adventuring: “Ok I’ve been in here for 25 minutes and have been sent to 3 different people.”

Imagine the fun he’ll get up to, trying to go undercover as a candidate—perhaps running a false flag operation in an Evans for Chair shirt.

For his part, Evans’s race will be characterized by an inability to realize that running as a white guy in a majority minority town is hard. Evans certainly didn’t seem cognizant of this in his 1998 run for mayor against Anthony A. Williams, which he lost by 40 percentage points. Instead of focusing on issues important to voters across the city, Evans has palled around with develop-

pley case, but short of making Georgetown a police state, there’s really not a sure-proof way to prevent that kind of sexual assault,” Watkins said.

Watkins warned that the phenomenon of “acquaintance sexual assault” should not be overlooked, even if sexual assaults from strangers account for the majority of Public Safety Alerts and receive the most media attention, a point echoed by McKinley.

“It’s not just something that the boogeyman does, it’s people in the Georgetown community,” McKinley said.

“The University is really reluctant to address that because it makes us look bad.”

University spokesman Andy Pino would not specify whether the University is adopting any new measures in response to the recent sexual assaults, but said that Vice President of Student Affairs Todd Olson will discuss in a Friday press conference how the University is enhancing safety and security around campus.

“We are very concerned about these recent incidents,” Pino wrote in an e-mail. “We take the safety of our community seriously, and DPS is continuing to work closely with the Metropolitan Police Department to coordinate our crime prevention and response program.”

Both MPD and DPS did not respond to requests for comment.

ers since his last run for citywide office. Good for raising money, not so much for winning a citywide race.

The race between the undercover councilmember and the developers’ best friend could be further enlivened by the entrance of Phil Mendelson (D-At Large).

But Mendelson, who looks like a handsome Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), is too sober and knowledgeable to run. No, for the entertainment of Washington’s politics watchers (and this columnist), this race belongs to Brown and Evans.

Swap your favorite city council stories with Will at wsommer@george townvoice.com

sports

6 the georgetown voice

april 22, 2010

After early struggles, Hoyas dominate Big East

by Tim Shine Last Saturday afternoon, the Georgetown women’s lacrosse team found themselves in an alltoo-familiar position—behind. The team, something of a national powerhouse in recent years, started the game down 4-0 to Rutgers.

The Hoyas (8-5, 6-0 Big East) rebounded in a big way, though, coming back to trounce the Scarlet Knights 19-12, continuing a fivegame winning streak and preserveing an unblemished conference record.

“We were a little flat coming out to be honest,” head coach Ricky Fried said. “I thought we lacked some energy. But for where we’ve been at the early part of the season we responded really well.”

The Hoyas weren’t in a good place earlier in the season. Heading into Big East play they were just 2-4 and coming off three consecutive losses. No one was writing Georgetown off—those losses were to some of the country’s best teams, including five-time defending national champion Northwestern—but there was a lot of work to be done in the conference season if the Hoyas hoped to make it back to the NCAA tournament.

“The biggest thing was recognizing who we’re playing and focusing on us getting better as opposed to what our record was,” Fried said. “Four of the five losses were to the top four teams in the country.”

Nevertheless, losing that many games that quickly could suck the hope out of even the most talented team. The Hoyas had to make sure that a non-conference slump didn’t turn into a season-long slide.

That responsibility fell to se-

nior attacker Molly Ford and the rest of Georgetown’s veteran leaders. They weren’t going to give up on their final campaign, and they made sure the younger players knew it.

“We told them, ‘Keep the faith, and we’re going to keep pushing on through the whole season. The season’s not over yet,’” Ford said.

It turns out the season was just getting started. Georgetown picked up a win against Villanova, and then after a minor setback against Princeton, rattled off five consecutive Big East wins. The streak guaranteed the Hoyas a spot in the conference tournament and gave them the opportunity to control their NCAA tourney destiny: win and they’re in.

Ford, the team’s leading scorer, and her fellow seniors have led the Hoyas in the locker room and on the field. Eight of the team’s goals against Rutgers came from seniors, including two from Ford, who earned a spot on the Big East Weekly Honor Roll for the third time this season.

“The biggest thing they’ve done is keep the morale on the team up,” Fried said of his seniors.

“It would have been easy for people to kind of pack it in, say ‘You know, I don’t know how we’re going to do this year.’ But they didn’t allow the team to do that. They made sure that everybody showed up on practice days, made sure we had the right focus that we needed to have to be successful, and I think that was contagious to the rest of the team.”

Team morale is hardly a concern now. Georgetown is locked in on its next goal: winning the Big East Tournament, where the Hoyas have come up short the past three

Courtesy sports information

Georgetown is determined to overcome early losses by winning the conference.

years. This year taking the conference championship is more important than ever, as their early season losses put the Hoyas’ hopes for an at-large bid at risk even if they win their final three games.

Georgetown will be well prepared come tournament time. The Hoyas have taken steps this season to make sure that they won’t be repeating the past years’ early exits.

“We’ve challenged ourselves this year,” Fried said. “We’ve had

three Friday-Sunday weekends.

So I think we’ll be a little bit more prepared [for a quick turnaround].

We’ve played a lot more people this year. We’ve probably averaged playing 20 people a game, so we’ll be a little fresher at that time of the year.”

Only two weeks remain until the Big East Tournament. Before then Georgetown has a non-conference trip to Yale this Friday, followed by its final Big East games

against Loyola (Md.) and Syracuse.

And while the Hoyas will keep an eye on the tournament, their focus is squarely on their next game. One thing’s for sure—the Hoyas certainly aren’t looking back.

“I feel like our team has kind of forgotten about the beginning … losses of the season,” Ford said.

“With this momentum with the Big East we’re just concentrating on winning out the Big East. That’s our full focus right now.”

The Sports Sermon

“Give me that fucker other than seeing some of the shit we were putting up there.”— Former Nets head coach Lawrence Frank on live TV, wishing he had Lebron over his former players.

Police in Georgia investigated the case, and on April 12, District Attorney Fred Bright Two-time Super Bowl chamheld a press conference detailpion quarterback Ben Roethlising the findings of the investigaberger was suspended for six tion, announcing that there was games yesterday. This suspennot enough evidence to proceed sion is just one in a long line with an arrest. The victim also of swift punishments handed did not want to press charges, down by the NFL Commissioner saying she did not want that Roger Goodell. kind of intrusion into her perIn suspending the Steelers’ sonal life. But she did not restar and one of the most recogscind her accusation. nizable professional football After conducting his own inplayers in the league, Goodell revestigation, Goodell felt Roethaffirmed his rule over the league. lisberger was in violation of the It’s a simple formula: Either you NFL’s Personal Conduct Policy, abide by Goodell’s standards, or and handed down his suspenyou do not play in NFL games. sion. Goodell was The commisPete Rose Central completely justified sioner began his Da bettin’ line in his actions—Big facelift of the Ben had disgraced league’s image Margin Dookies Hoyas himself and the in April of 2007, (duh!) (underdogs) league. implementing a (favorites) Some say new NFL Personal Iona Flips and Shit Fordham Goodell has too Conduct Policy.

Drew Brees Madden Curse Injury much power, since The policy gave 2nd Day Tebow Jesus he can suspend Goodell the powplayers without a legal convicThe star’s most serious er and discretion to suspend tion. In Goodell’s NFL, players personal conduct gaffe to date without pay or banish any are held to a higher standard occurred this March in Milledleague personnel for conduct than the law requires. Playing geville, Georgia. At a nightthe commissioner deems detriprofessional football is a priviclub, Roethlisberger allegedly mental to the NFL. ledge, something Goodell makes encouraged a group of college The first player to be sussure his players understand and girls to take numerous shots pended under the new policy don’t abuse. with him in the VIP section. was Adam “Pacman” Jones, for Although the NFL under this One of Big Ben’s bodyguards his slew of well-documented commissioner has been called the ushered one of the girls down involvements in strip club shootNo Fun League, Goodell has usha hallway and then left. Roethings. Jones was never convicted ered in an era of higher personal lisberger then approached her, of a crime, but Goodell still standards on and off the field exposed himself, and followed suspended him for the season. that benefit both players and her into the women’s bathroom This sent a clear message to all fans. If players can only have fun despite her protests. They then players in the league: Even if by bringing guns to nightclubs allegedly had sex, while the victhe law doesn’t find you guilty, and racking up rape accusations, tim’s friends—who could not you are not necessarily beyond then they can find a new profesget past Roethlisberger’s bodyGoodell’s reach. sion. So, Roger, keep up the good guards—tried unsuccessfully to Ben Roethlisberger’s personwork—protect your shield. intervene. al problems in the league began

by Adam Rosenfeld

in June 2006 with a motorcycle crash. Roethlisberger suffered severe injuries to his head in the crash, perhaps worsened by the fact that he was not wearing a helmet. Combined with his expired temporary license for the vehicle, the incident caused great concern within the league and the Steelers franchise.

Roethlisberger’s problems deepened in July of 2009 when he was sued in civil court for sexually assaulting a woman in his hotel room a year earlier. Roethlisberger’s lawyers say they are confident the claim is baseless, but the case is still pending.

sports

georgetownvoice.com

the georgetown voice 7

Men’s season down to the wire With only three games left in the regular season, Georgetown men’s lacrosse head coach Dave Urick wants his team focused on finishing strong.

“We make it a point to constantly remind the kids that they can play their way into the NCAA tournament,” Urick said. “But they can also play their way out.”

Until last Saturday, the Hoyas were certainly well on their way, winning three straight games against Navy, Mount St. Mary’s, and Notre Dame. However, this streak came to a sudden halt on Saturday with an 11-6 loss at the hands of the Loyola Greyhounds.

Courtesy sports information

Missed opportunities killed any chance Georgetown had last Saturday.

DC’s last hope In a city best known for its politics, professional sports often take a backseat in Washington D.C. As one of only 13 cities in the country to have teams competing in the four major sports, the District has dropped the ball over the last year, often literally.

The Wizards had a nightmare of a year, finishing with one of the worst records in the league and humiliation at the hands of their franchise player, gun-toting Gilbert Arenas. The off-season couldn’t come quick enough for the team.

On the other side of town, Redskins owner Dan Snyder has made the city’s most pop-

ular team a laughing stock by throwing ridiculous amounts of money at high-profile free agents who don’t necessarily fit the team’s needs.

Money doesn’t buy championships, especially when there’s a salary cap and Snyder ’s ways leave ‘Skins fans longing for the Gibbs era—the first one.

Rounding out the trio of disappointing teams are the Nationals. The newest D.C. team has finished with the worst record in the league the past two seasons. Although they don’t have the money other teams do, it’s never fun to be last.

It is said that every cloud has a silver lining, and the same is true for the Washing-

Fortunately, Georgetown wasn’t the only highly ranked team to stumble this past week—Drexel, Hofstra, UMass, and Hopkins all suffered losses this week as well.

The high volume of losses, meant the Hoyas only dropped to No. 10 from No. 9.

The loss simply accentuates the importance of the final three games. These games are all the more crucial since the Hoyas will not compete in a post-season conference tournament, and therefore have limited opportunities to score more quality wins.

The Hoyas’ final stretch begins this Saturday with a match against the No. 16 UMass Minutemen. Despite Georgetown’s higher ranking, Urick does not expect an easy game.

“They’re a well coached team, as it’s usually only a one or two goal game,” Urick said. “It’s a type of team that makes you play good, solid, fundamental lacrosse.”

Georgetown will need solid contributions from the entire roster in order to beat UMass, something Urick did not feel like the Hoyas enjoyed in their game against the Greyhounds.

“We didn’t get much of anything from the freshmen against Loyola,” Urick said. “They’re no longer considered freshmen, so they have to recognize and respond accordingly.”

The freshmen will get their chance to respond this Saturday against UMass in Hartford, Connecticut, as a part of the Warrior Classic lacrosse tournament.

ton sports scene. In this case, that lining is red and represents the Capitals.

The Capital’s resurgence has been mostly due to Alexander Ovechkin who came from Russia with anything but love.

He is everything you want in a franchise player—exciting,

Backdoor Cuts

by Nick Berti

a rotating column on sports talented, and a winner. Every time he touches the puck, opposing teams and their fans fear for the worst, as his blazing slap-shot torches nets and his huge hits crush even the biggest of bruisers.

Along with other superstars, Ovechkin led the Capi-

Sean Lamont

What Rocks

by Adam Rosenfeld

Senior captain Craig Dowd tied the game at four a piece just before halftime. Unfortunately, Loyola came out of the half strong on both sides of the ball, holding the Hoyas scoreless in the third while netting four goals of their own.

“We didn’t face-off as well as we have been,” Urick said. “That gave them a huge advantage in possession, and they took full advantage of it, scoring four goals in less four minutes.”

Along with uncharacteristic face-off losses, the Hoyas also suffered from a lack of success when holding the man-advantage. While Georgetown has excelled with the man-advantage all year, the Hoyas went a paltry 0-4 against Loyola.

Courtesy sports information

The Georgetown Baseball team is enjoying one of their most successful seasons in recent memory.

One of the main reasons for this success is junior third basemen Sean Lamont, whose career on the Hilltop can be summed up by one word: power. Lamont led the team in home runs, RBIs, runs, and slugging percentage during his first two years.

However, Lamont hurt his knee earlier this season, an injury that has forced him to miss a few key games.

“I’m hoping that Sean can get healthy and go on an offensive tear,” head coach Pete Wilk said. “He’s capa-

tals to the best record in the NHL and a No. 1 seed in the playoffs. Even more impressive is how that team has resurrected the love of hockey in the capital of a country where most of the public is only vaguely aware of the sport.

With all the other major sports teams in the area suffering, fans finally have something to be proud of, and they definitely don’t take it for granted. The home ice advantage was extremely valuable to the Caps’ success, as they won 30 games at home this year. The Verizon Center turns into a sea of red that would make the devil (or the Devils, for that matter) envious.

Add in a raucous crowd that doesn’t stop yelling the entire

ble of carrying this team offensively.”

When Lamont is playing 100 percent, he has the ability to have a big impact on all aspects of the game. Besides being the team’s biggest power batter, Sean is also a clutch hitter, a skill he demonstrated with a walk off single in the bottom of the ninth inning to defeat to the George Washington Colonials on March 21st.

“Sean is right in the middle of everything we do, both on and off the field,” Wilk said. “He’s a leader who hits in the middle of the order and is a force for other teams to deal with.”

—Rob Sapunor

game and explodes after every goal—especially if it’s their beloved number eight—and you have the recipe for the perfect sporting experience.

The Capitals have never won a Stanley Cup before, but their 2010 quest may be their best chance yet. The city of Washington D.C.—which hasn’t seen a championship since the Redskins’ 1991 Super Bowl victory—is hungry for another big win. Nineteen years is a long time to wait, but for a city that has seen so much change during that time, Lord Stanley’s Cup may just be the cure.

Tell Nick it’s not spelled Alexander Bro-Vechkin at nberti@ georgetownvoice.com

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8 the georgetown voice

april 22, 2010

Writing a new chapter for D.C. students

by Eric Pilch Best-selling author Dave Eggers is an unassuming man. When he sheepishly approached the podium before a nearly full Gaston Hall on April 7, he introduced himself by making a self-effacing joke. The shy Eggers did not try to hide his public speaking anxiety.

“I was really nervous for many weeks before this event … and before I came up here I got locked in a hallway,” Eggers said. “It was like a perfect Spinal Tap moment, where we were going to be locked in this stairway all evening, scrounging for provisions.”

Fortunately for everyone involved, Eggers made it out of the hallway to discuss 826DC, the latest in a series of non-profit writing centers that provide

free tutoring, self-publishing, and workshops to elementary through high school students.

Eggers was anything but sheepish when he started talking about 826. As he animatedly explained to those gathered in Gaston Hall, the organization was born of Eggers’s own experiences as a professional writer.

He had been stunningly successful—Eggers’s book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius reached No. 1 on the New York Times bestseller list—but nevertheless was personally unfulfilled. Success allowed Eggers to devote all of his time to writing, just as he had always dreamed, but he was left feeling isolated.

While living and writing in Brooklyn, Eggers would walk

Courtesy 826 NATIONAL

“Write” the ship: The original 826 center in Valencia features a pirate theme.

Courtesy 826 NATIONAL

Writers by day: 826NYC disguises their tutoring center with superhero supplies.

by schools and yearn to connect with the kids, to have a positive impact, but there was no conduit to facilitate such interactions.

“Meanwhile, I was hearing so many of my friends who teach keep talking about growing class sizes, budget cuts, and No Child Left Behind restricting the freedom of teachers as professionals,” he said. “They kept saying, ‘If only I could clone myself I could give undivided attention to every student.’”

Eggers set out to create just that, a “clone army” of writers—journalists, students, and all manner of volunteers interested in giving back to the community. The result was 826 Valencia, located in the Mission District of San Francisco. Since the founding of 826 Valencia in 2002, seven other branches have opened in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Seattle, Ann Arbor, Boston, and now D.C. The story of 826DC begins with the Capitol Letters Writing Center, an independent organization that was inspired by the 826 model. Incorporated in April 2008, Capitol Letters started out as a small group of tutors lacking funding, a physical location, or even many students. However, the band of writers, educators, and nonprofit workers persevered despite the initial struggle to gain momentum and make connections at local schools.

Through the early period of Capitol Letters, the group was regularly in direct contact with the 826 National organization, but it seemed for some time that the group would not become an official chapter of 826. “[826 National’s] hard line was that we’re not taking on any new chapters,” 826DC Program Manager Mike Scalise said.

“Then, two things happened.

One was that we had some really ambitious people who are really resourceful and we made major strides in our first year … Also the climate changed in D.C., and it became an area that people were energized about.”

Soon enough, 826 National started taking a more serious interest in Capitol Letters, which began transitioning the organization into an official 826 chapter, with Naomi Ayala as its executive director.

Ayala, an award-winning poet and writer who previously served as the coordinator for curriculum and instruction at the National Council of La Raza’s Center for Community Educational Excellence, was initially reluctant when a friend involved with 826 approached her.

“I got an e-mail asking me to please apply for the position, and wrote back that I’m happy [in my current job],” Ayala said.

“And they pushed and they pushed, and twisted my arm and it turned out that I got and accepted the job.”

Despite the strain of formally establishing 826DC while balancing a career as a writer— Ayala recently completed a book of poetry—she expressed a sense of satisfaction with the progress made by the organization and a sense of optimism about its effects on the children, even if she can’t always see the results first hand.

“It’s a very intense job, and my days are 12 to 15 hours, [so] I miss [the] kids in this way,” Ayala said. “But this is a different way of being close, knowing that I’m making things possible for them in a different way than I ever have in my life.”

Ultimately she credits 826DC’s core of roughly 30 volunteers, many with other demanding careers, who regularly devote significant amounts of time to support the project.

Jen Girdish is one of those volunteers. Girdish, who joined the group to use her MFA degree in a non-profit setting, serves as the book project coordinator, assisting in the creation of 826DC’s annual student publication.

Published collections of students’ work are a staple of the 826 program. 826DC’s first book, to be published in May, is

MAX BLODGETT

Staggering genius: Eggers pitches 826. called Hold Onto Your Seats and will feature an introduction by George Pelecanos, an accomplished crime writer and one of the writers behind the HBO series The Wire. The work presents the advice and thoughts 64 high school seniors would have given themselves as freshmen, to help cope with the joys and challenges of high school.

Ivan Ango, a student at Cardozo Senior High School who contributed an essay to the book, was mentioned by many involved with 826DC as an example of the outstanding work that can come from young writers. Originally from Cameroon, Ango wrote of the struggles surrounding his attempts to learn English, the occasional outbursts of violence at his school, NAME, and his eventual success as an athlete. Ango’s account of his first romantic encounter, complete with impressive symbolism and rhetorical language, demonstrates the potential that 826’s student publishing unleashes.

“You will have someone,” Ango wrote. “She will make you laugh when the strong, old wind outside slaps your lips and freezes them. She is not your mother or your sister, but her ravishing beauty will attract

feature

georgetownvoice.com you more than any of her body parts … I can imagine your heart pounding as you read this … She will be your girlfriend, but I’m not capable of telling you for how long. I don’t have much time, so I will leave you with this. Your character will make you, but your roots will never be loose. Sincerely, Ivan.”

826 tries to take a projectbased approach to their work with students. In some cases, tutors go directly into D.C. public schools and help students produce a creative work that is published, bound, and ready to go home by the end of the day.

Having a tangible product of the students’ work goes a long way toward the organization’s mission of fostering more creativity among young people—at a time when teachers are often forced to teach to standardized tests.

That approach clearly isn’t working in District of Columbia Public Schools. In 2009, only 47% of students achieved proficiency in math and reading— actually up from 37% in reading and 31% in math in 2007.

“I think the 826 concept is encouraging and definitely necessary,” Georgetown graduate student and former public school teacher Kristen Werder (GRD ‘11) wrote in an e-mail.

“As schools have fewer and fewer resources and yet more students … the issues that are labeled ‘school issues’ are also community issues, and that the best way to improve schools is by bridging the gap between schools and communities, class work and ‘the real world.’“ 826 attempts to bring “the real world” into the classroom with its in-house field trips.

“There are in-house field trips that last two hours and students are producing something that they’re finishing and it’s tangible, project-based, and incredibly fun,” 826 National Development and Outreach Coordinator Erin Archuleta said.

“There are professional artists who are doing the illustrations so it all is incredibly beautiful, but it’s something that the stu-

Courtesy 826 NATIONAL

the georgetown voice 9

Courtesy 826 NATIONAL

The blueprint: 826 Valencia was the model for subsequent chapters, including 826DC.

Nothing to see here: 826DC’s tutoring center will be as distinctive as Chicago’s.

dents take home themselves.”

In order to make a difference and reach as many students as possible, 826DC, of course, needs money. Other 826 chapters around the country generate revenue from themed stores located at the entrance of their tutoring space. In fact, such a quirky storefront is a requirement to become an official 826 organization.

“The store front is one of those ways to recruit people from the community,” Archuleta said. “Each center has its own theme that is engaging and fun and imaginative … and each theme store complements individual donors and foundations who support the work of 826.”

The stores have become one of 826’s trademarks, but they began as a product of chance.

When Eggers and others start-

just a squeeze of the System’s ergonomically pleasing grip,” or the banana cell phone cover from the Boring Store in Chicago that “cleverly disguises your phone … [so] the enemy will simply think you are a produce enthusiast.”

A writing center can’t run on the sales of unnatural historical artifacts alone, though.

826DC also has a number of prominent supporters in the local community. A recent fundraiser for the organization, held at the Adams Morgan home of author and journalist Christopher Hitchens, featured appearances by Christopher Buckley and Congressman Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.).

As 826DC quickly approaches the date when a physical tutoring space will open in the Adams Morgan/Columbia Heights area, the longstanding dream of the original Capitol Letters team is about to be realized.

“It was so difficult for all of us for a long time,” Scalise said.

“It’s almost as though there was a relationship and we had been talking about dating for a long time, and finally figured out a way to make it work.”

Going forward, manpower is one of the critical challenges facing the organization. Nationally, 826 served 22,000 students last year with 4,000 volunteers, including over 1,000 at 826NYC alone. The organization can only serve as many students as they have slots

Courtesy 826 NATIONAL

Reading is FUN-damental: 826 tries to make kids stop thinking of writing as work.

ed 826 Valencia, the space they wanted was zoned for retail, and all they were marketing was free tutoring.

“This building had kind of the look of a hull of a ship,” Eggers said. “So one of the carpenters that was working with us said, ‘Why don’t you sell pirate supplies?’ We thought about that a little bit, did some market research and realized there wasn’t another market operation to compete with us in selling affordably priced supplies for buccaneers.”

The result was the Independent Pirate Supply Store, which not only provides a revenue stream for the operation but also has proven to be quite a draw with the target audience for 826. It’s not uncommon to see tutees playfully twirling in capes, clad in eye patches, or sporting crooked hooks over their hands.

Now students across the country come to learn at places like the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store or the Greater Boston Bigfoot Research Institute.

826DC will feature the Unnatural History Museum. Designers are still working out the products that will appear at the store, but if history is any guide, it will be impressive. Take the cherryscented diversion deployment system at the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Company in Seattle, which emits “distraction of spatial, ocular, and olfactory nature in one fell swoop with

available with tutors. Opening a physical center is only the first step for 826DC. Tutors often rave about the experience of working with the children. One of Girdish’s experiences with a young tutee illustrates the rewards of working with 826. Initially unenthusiastic about writing and reluctant to revise her piece, Girdish said working with this student was like “pulling teeth.” But over time Girdish was able to reach her tutee.

“At the release party last year she read a piece and pulled her parents over to introduce me to them,” Girdish said.

According to Girdish, the girl told her parents, “This is the girl that made me write. Thank you so much. I never would have done it without you, and I really enjoyed it.”

“It’s very rewarding, hearing that from a student,” Girdish said.

Speaking at Georgetown, Eggers tried to convey that message to students. In order to be successful, 826DC needs all the volunteers it can get.

“We are only limited by the volunteer power and the number of volunteers we can amass,” Eggers said. “I think they have a few hundred on the roster now and probably need a few thousand. So, I’m hoping that everyone will sign up.”

“Any couple of hours that you give to one student can be life changing.”

leisure

10 the georgetown voice

april 22, 2010

Psychotronia and D.C.’s B-movie lovers

by Leigh Finnegan Romeo Montague scrambles around Verona, searching for the object of his true desire while fleeing the manhunt of a rival bloodthirsty clan. But Romeo is not quite the familiar teenaged renegade here, serenading his true love from below her balcony while avoiding the sword of her vindictive family. Romeo is instead a disfigured robot, a hired killer, a pimp; Verona is a futuristic American city, rife with nymphomaniac androids, vampire prostitutes, and amoral zombies. The camera jerks dizzyingly amid poorly lit scenes of superhuman vice.

If Frankenpimp sounds like your brand of B-movie gold, then Alexandria’s Video Vault is the perfect pile of brains to quench your zombie appetite. In its basement location, Video Vault houses an unfathomable 65,000 titles, encompassing all genres, budgets, eras, and levels of talent. DVDs and VHS tapes stand on the overflowing shelves in roughly equal numbers.

And by the end of the month, it all needs to be gone.

“What we’re trying to do is raise awareness, that people should be coming down and trying to buy a piece of home video history,” owner Jim McCabe said.

Since McCabe and his wife opened Video Vault on Washington Street in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia in 1985, the store has been a haven for local movie buffs, especially those interested in low-budget pro-

ductions with laughable scripts.

Since its founding, the store has moved all around D.C. and Virginia (including a stint in Georgetown), eventually winding up back in Old Town, where it will meet its untimely end.

On April 30, the store will close its doors on longtime customers for good.

But McCabe is adamant about that a market for the store’s selection, particularly its VHS tapes, exists. “There’s a big group out there for VHS,” McCabe said.

The Washington Psychotronic Film Society, captained by fearless leader Carl Cephas, could just be that group, one comprised of D.C.’s B-grade movie connoisseurs.

WPFS—which currently has just three official members—encourages appreciation for the so-bad-it’s-good films by screening “classics” like Frankenpimp at The Warehouse, a restaurant near Chinatown, every Tuesday night “A lot of these B movies are more memorable than the academy award films,” Cephas said.

“Like how many times have you seen Barry Lyndon? Yeah, how many times have you seen Plan 9 from Outer Space? Or The Toxic Avenger?”

Although WPFS hasn’t used Video Vault for their movies since the store’s move from the District in the early ‘90s, Cephas was severely disappointed in hearing that the store is closing.

With Amazon and Netflix making the search for any movie as easy as typing into a search box, and major video rental chains

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER

The honorary fourth member of the WPFS: Carl Cephas’ epic beard.

like Blockbuster flailing a bit more every day, it seems inevitable that a place like Video Vault is on its way out. Although McCabe admits that the store’s clientele is a niche group, he insists that the final nail in Video Vault’s coffin came down to a simple matter of transportation.

“I knew parking was going to be a problem [at the new loca-

tion],” McCabe, said. “I had no idea it was going to be this bad.

Literally business fell off about 50 percent when we moved.”

But like a B-movie zombie— and unlike Video Vault, whose thousands of leftover movies McCabe has yet to decide what to do with—WPFS just won’t die, despite financial difficulties.

According to Cephas, the Society

is going “more underground,” developing more personal relationships with filmmakers and delving even further into the black lagoon of the horror genre.

“They’re experiences like Rocky Horror,” Cephas said.

“And every time you watch it, you’re like ‘Wow, that’s like seeing an old friend, a good friend, a goofy friend.’”

lez’hur ledger

A descent into chicken madness

by Brendan Baumgardner A strange power has overcome me, and I fear my time is short before I succumb. With my waning strength, it is incumbent upon me to document my tale, so that it may serve as a warning. I now see clearly that this is the end of days. This ominous foresight torments me, as punishment for my communion with the unfathomable horror—the KFC Double Down Sandwich.

I was not the first to fall under the Double Down’s spell, nor shall I be the last. The unholy sandwich is notable for its replacement of bun by Original Recipe chicken breasts. Betwixt poultry paddies lies melted cheese, bacon, and the mysteriously named “Colonel’s Sauce.”

I hope that others are of stronger stock than I, because upon first discovery of this hedonistic creation, I was obsessed.

On Saturday, I found myself on a bicycle, peddling frantically toward a downtown KFC. I was under the Double Down’s spell.

Salivating as I entered the eatery, I spotted that decadent mélange of barnyard beasts on the menu.

My moment of gluttonous victory was at hand.

At this point, I was fully consumed by madness. When I demanded that the clerk bring me a Double Down, she seemed startled by my intensity. “We don’t have that today,” she croaked.

“What?” I roared, incredulous. It pains me to say that had I not conceived an alternative plan in that moment, I could have become violent.

Unfortunately, my alternative was even darker and more perverse than my original scheme. I resolved to create my

own Double Down.

I am unable to recall a frighteningly large block of time. Evidently I regained composure in Hoya Court. I had just ordered a Subway sandwich for the sole purpose of extracting its bacon, and my backpack was heavy with Thousand Island dressing and pepper jack cheese.

I was filled with both excitement and terror as I approached the KFC counter. Somehow, those around me knew what I was doing. They knew of the horrible abomination I was out to create, and they trembled in fear. I trembled as well. Under the spell of the Double Down, however, I could not be dissuaded. Drunk on power at the precipice of culinary depravity, I did not feel like a mortal man—I felt as a god.

I paid for two Original Recipe chicken sandwiches and absconded to my apartment to begin the dark proceedings. I removed the chicken breasts, discarding the lettuce, tomatoes, and buns. Next, I extracted the bacon from my sub. Finally came the application of the cheese and Thousand Island dressing— a rough approximation of the “Colonel’s Sauce.”

I realized the severity of the situation as I placed my creation into the microwave. In designing this monstrosity, I had discarded both food and dignity in equal measure. What had I become?

But any doubts were squashed by the sounding of the timer. I grabbed the sandwich—a hot, dripping mess—and drew it toward me. My mouth was wide in anticipation, no longer a human feature but a gaping maw poised to devour civilizations. I was gluttony incarnate.

I awoke on the floor, fearful and nauseated. Half of my creation remained on the table, uneaten and mocking. The beast was too salty, too greasy, and too vile to conquer. The craze that had compelled me to this point had mercifully passed, but the damage had been done. The sandwich was a part of me.

Suddenly, a horrible realization overcame me. This had only been a watered-down recreation of the Double Down. Surely, the power of the real thing must be devastating. As I sank back into the black warmth, one thought reverberated in my mind.

Oh god, oh god—what hath the Colonel wrought?

LA TIMES

“And when the Double Down cometh, the Fallen Son shall rise again.”

georgetownvoice.com

the georgetown voice 11

“No ticky, no washy!”—The Toxic Avenger

An unholy, laughless Funeral Reviews, Haiku’d

by Sean Quigley Let’s get this out of the way first: Death at a Funeral isn’t funny.

It’s a scene-by-scene (and almost line-by-line) remake of Frank Oz’s 2007 original, swapping the setting of a posh London mansion for that of a posh Los Angeles one. Gone are the British accents, but the characters, plot, and dialogue remain very nearly unchanged. The film’s simple premise—unexpected and ridiculous events complicate a family’s funeral gathering—forces it to rely on its star-laden cast to carry it through familiar, predictable gags.

Unfortunately, even the actors seem bored. Martin Lawrence plays a slyly libidinous writer more interested in flirting than grieving, and Chris Rock remains disappointingly subdued and mild-tempered throughout. Tracy Morgan plays a bumbling hypochondriac charged with watching over the ornery, wheelchair-bound Danny Glover, while Luke Wilson spends most of the film getting rejected by his former girlfriend. It’s not that the characters are without their charms, but no one seems willing to step up and carry the film.

The script doesn’t give the actors much of a chance, anyway.

Most of its gags are tired and unfunny—someone unknowingly takes a hallucinogenic and starts to act crazy, the coffin is knocked over mid-ceremony, the body

tumbles out before the surprised mourners. That’s not to say the film doesn’t have its moments—Tracy Morgan gets pooped on by Danny Glover, and there’s one pretty funny R. Kelly joke—but Death at a Funeral is mostly good for groans.

Its middling, juvenile attempts at humor aside, the only real plot element in the movie is silly and not compelling. Peter Dinklage reprises his role in the original as the deceased’s secret, four-and-a-halffoot lover who blackmails Rock and Lawrence’s characters with suggestive photographs of himself and their father. Granted, I wouldn’t want to find out that my father and Peter Dinklage were secret gay lovers, but this unfortunate revelation is met with such juvenile disgust and horror that the film can’t help but come off as childishly homophobic. But what more should we

Now Playing The Back-Up Plan Jenny from the block, Preggers, single, and lonely, Like her audience.

Oceans Pierce Brosnan narrates A cheap Planet Earth knock-off Stoners should like it.

Opening April 30th Nightmare on Elm Street Fedora? Sweater?

Look at this fucking hipster.

(Nice ironic gloves.)

Furry Vengeance Sexual fetish?

Or Brendan Frasier’s new film?

Please let it be both.

Opening May 7th Iron Man 2 Narcissistic ass, Drunk and irresponsible, He is ... Iron Man. Babies Look at the babies!

They may look cute, but watch out!

One is a racist.

IMDB

Tracy Morgan shows Chris Rock how he impregnates females with karate.

From the Hilltop to Foxfield Every spring, hundreds of Georgetown students rise early on the last Saturday of April to make the pilgrimage to a small, southern town located about a threehour bus ride from campus. Fighting Friday night’s hangover with Bloody Marys, mint juleps, and mimosas, students pack into vans and buses, straighten bow ties or adjust floppy hats, and raise their cups to a day of drinking in the sweltering sun. The destination is Charlottesville, Virginia and the occasion is the Foxfield Races.

Before I go on, I need to clarify something about the name of the event. As a lifelong resident of Charlottesville, growing up right by this storied steeplechase event, I implore my fellow Foxfield-bound Hoyas: Stop saying “Foxfields.”

Adding that “s” to Foxfield—

expect from a film whose main comedic interests are either scatological or drug-based?

With the exact same jokes and twists as the British original, it’s tough not to wonder why this movie was made at all. Most people missed the 2007 version, I suppose, and many people presumably will watch any movie featuring both Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence. Leave it to Director Neil LaBute, the misanthrope behind 2006’s abomination The Wicker Man, to waste all that star power on a movie that doesn’t go anywhere. The bad taste that permeates the film would be permissible if its jokes were funnier. In the end, Death at a Funeral achieves the trifecta of comedic failure—it’s simultaneously offensive, unfunny, and unnecessary. At least it’s only 90 minutes long.

in a town with as much Southern charm and sophistication as Charlottesville—not only will put your naivety and inexperience with the event on full display, but also will make you appear to be, simply put, a Yankee ignoramus. You’d scoff at anyone running around Lower Manhattan asking where “Greenwitch” is, when they mean the Village, wouldn’t you? So mind your mouths and drop the “s.”

Allow me to explain for anyone unfamiliar with the occasion.

Foxfield is a charity horse race known more for the drunken escapades of the thousands of college students who attend than for the horses. Decked out in their preppiest, pastel finest, ticket holders come dressed to the nines—and about nine drinks deep—ready for a day of alcohol-fueled debauch-

ery. As journalist Brooke Brower put it, people come to Foxfield to “dress up, drink up, smoke up, [and] hook up.” Often this leads to throw up, and posting up bail, but Foxfield remains as important to college students in Charlottesville as Thomas Jefferson’s Lawn or the Corner at UVA. And you’d be a regular fool to miss it.

Suffer for Fashion

by Keenan Timko

a bi-weekly column about fashion While so much of Foxfield revolves around dangerously strong drinks and picnic-ready hors d’oeuvres, an equal amount of attention is paid to the clothes that attendees wear on Race Day. The dress code of Foxfield is exceedingly strict—and enforced by the spirit and history of the event.

Ladies wear brightly colored

—Chris Heller, Brendan Baumgardner, and Leigh Finnegan

or pastel sundresses, flip-flops (or high heels for the bold), pearls, and oversized shades. Usually the dresses are Lily Pulitzer-style, but more important than the dress is the accompanying hat. No Foxfield ensemble is complete without an outrageously oversized woven hat, some up to three feet in diameter, to block the sun from turning you into a tomato. These hats are festooned with enormous bows and flowers (always fresh, never fake) and are often picked out before any dress is even considered for purchase.

Guys stick to country club frat gear like oxfords or polos, khakis, seersucker jackets, and boat shoes or flip-flops. Instead of finding the perfect hat, which is the quest of ladies going Foxfield, gents search for the bowtie to bring their outfit together. Some guys carry canes and boast pocket squares. Basically, the more you look like a Georgia

lawyer from the 1920s, the more preptastic you’ll be.

If the Ralph Lauren lifestyle doesn’t appeal to you, just remember that a big part of the fun is embracing the preppy culture and clothes for one day and pushing the look to the extreme. Even the biggest anti-prep on campus can scramble up whatever expensivelooking, country club clothes he or she can find. Hollister-haters know that while we can rag on fraternities and sororities every other day of the year, Foxfield is our one chance a year to celebrate a ridiculously self-indulgent style of dress and be brahs, err, brothers and sisters in solidarity. Because if Foxfield is to uphold its reputation, as the horse race where you never see the horses, we might as well enjoy gawking at each other instead.

Saddle up and ride Keenan at ktimko@georgetownvoice.com

leisure

12 the georgetown voice

april 22, 2010

C r i t i c a l V o i ces

Josh Ritter, So Runs the World Away, Pytheas Recordings For his seventh studio album, Josh Ritter was faced with a daunting challenge: follow up two of modern folk music’s minimasterpieces, 2006’s The Animal Years and 2007’s The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter. A tall order for any musician, but one that Ritter gladly tackles with So Runs the World Away.

On his newest album, Ritter abandons the jaunty and upbeat for a simultaneously darker and more lilting sound. Nearly every song on So Runs the World Away has a darker underbelly than their counterparts from his two previous albums, and some— notably “Rattling Locks” and “The Remnant”—actually bristle with hostility. Seething with feedback and distortion, lines like “Black hole, black hole/ Are your two eyes as empty as

they look?” give off so much contempt that So Runs the World Away is difficult to square with the earlier work of this often achingly romantic former neuroscience student.

While Ritter is more than capable of working within the confines of a three and a half minute song, he is at his best when he can stretch out and let his lyricism take control. Luckily, his full talent is on full display throughout “Another New World,” where he tells the nearly eight minute story of an explorer and his ship, the Annabelle Lee, traveling to the end of the world.

When describing the slow freezing of the sea around his ship, Ritter sings, “‘Til at last, all around us was fastness, one vast glassy desert of arsenic white.” It is at moments like this that you wish the song would go on for another 10 or 15 minutes. While Ritter may be only moderately talented as a musician, it’s difficult to argue that he isn’t one of the best young lyricists in the country.

As dark and depressing as the album can be, Ritter is more than capable of pointing out the light on the horizon. On “Lark,” Ritter shows that he can still pull off the light, doing his best impersonation of Graceland-era Paul Simon. Taking a break from

A musical heart-to-heart So this is my swan song. It’s been four great years writing for The Voice, but the time has come when we must regrettably part ways. There are only so many occasions in life when you get an opportunity to express something important, so I want to offer some parting advice to you, dear reader.

If you find these words hard to stomach, please don’t take it personally. Just know that my intentions are pure.

1) Take advantage of free music on the internet while you still can. It will not last forever, and it just so happens that listening to music is incredibly cost-effective in the status quo.

The iron is hot, so strike.

2) Anyone who makes fun of the way you dance is an idiot.

3) Stop wearing iPod earbuds. The quality is awful, everyone can hear what you’re listening to and, honestly, they’ve looked stupid for a long time.

4) When you’re at a concert in a small venue, be respectful of the artist. Obviously it’s easier to chat with your friends during a slow song, but it’s pretty annoying for everyone else. The same goes for singing—pick a few songs to participate, in rather than proving your mastery of the canon.

5) There comes a moment

the tales of murder and ennui, “Lark” is an oasis in the middle of the album preparing listener for the weary and discontented second half.

Like most of his albums, the music on So Runs Away the World ranges from serviceable to great.

But Ritter’s musicianship has never been the main draw of his albums. The music serves as a vehicle for his lyrics, seamlessly slipping between the sublime and the mundane with a startling frequency.

Voice’s Choices: “Another New World,” “Rattling Rocks” —Dan Newman

Dr. Dog, Shame, Shame, ANTIRecords Dr. Dog makes some of the most inoffensive music around— straight-up rock ‘n roll that echoes every classic rock reference you

when it’s too late to learn how to play an instrument, and it’s when you die.

6) There’s no such thing as “liking everything but country.” If you don’t like country, then you probably can’t han-

Yr Blues

by Daniel Cook a bi-weekly column about music dle a lot of music. Put a little bit more thought into your answer there, sport.

7) The difference between an EP and an LP is simple. So look it up.

8) Don’t be ashamed to listen to the music you loved in your youth. Just be honest with yourself about it—there’s

want to throw out there—but the Philadelphia band tends to be pretty polarizing. The debate essentially boils down to whether or not you think recreating a sound from a particular time and in a particular style, without much innovation of your own, is enough.

I go back and forth on this question, but when Dr. Dog’s tunes are as consistently enjoyable as those on the band’s latest album, Shame, Shame, it’s hard to let their unoriginality get in the way of a good listen.

Dr. Dog isn’t trying anything new here—the melody that kicks off “Stranger” sounds a lot like the melody of “The Breeze,” which opened 2008’s Fate. Dr. Dog’s rugged harmonies are back in full force, while the instrumentation is a little more twangy and relaxed than before.

That looser feel works well on “Station,” with its slide guitars and plodding rhythm, and again on the ramshackle “Later,” where the raspier of the band’s two lead singers, Toby Leaman, lashes out at an unresponsive love. “Just another cup of coffee/I’ll sit around and wait for you/Just one more cigarette/I’ll sit around and wait for you,” he sings as the song builds into a 60s-esque bridge with ringing bells and a Motowninspired bassline.

The album’s weaknesses

a line where nostalgia can only do so much for a song, so familiarize yourself with it.

9) Pitchfork Media did more for independent music in the past ten years than any other major music publication.

Mock it if you must, but don’t be lazy about it.

10) You’re always going to like music that you recognize better than anything else, so do your best not to give wedding bands too much credit.

11) When a song comes on that you associate with a sad memory, let it play. It’s a beautiful thing, really. Why would you rob yourself of that?

12) Don’t dismiss the music that your kids will love as teenagers. Granted, I’d hate Ke$ha too if I were 50, but, re-

emerge when Scott McMicken handles lead vocals. The thin, tinny tone of his voice fails to engage during the otherwise hohum verses of “Shadow People” and “I Only Wear Blue,” and his lyrics tend to underwhelm. On a few tracks though—“Where’d All the Time Go” and “Mirror, Mirror” in particular—his voice is perfectly suited to the more straightforward music behind him, and he carries the songs as they approach their huge, immensely catchy choruses.

Dr. Dog has always had a great sense of songcraft, tastefully injecting hooks everywhere, even if they never push boundaries. They’re the same band on Shame, Shame, and though it does have clear standouts, there really isn’t a bad track on the album.

With the production a little less polished this time around, those tracks sound better than the ones on 2008’s Fate. Though the band isn’t as willfully weird and boisterous as they were on their best album, 2007’s We All Belong, they continue to make quality music for anyone who wishes music sounded as if the eighties never even happened.

Voice’s Choices: “Stranger”, “Where’d All the Time Go”, “Later” —Justin Hunter Scott

ally, there’s always going to be some merit in it.

13) Yelling “Freebird” at a concert was funny in the ‘80s, but it’s not anymore.

14) Most people who love music also love to share music. We all know that a song is that much better when someone else agrees that it’s a good song, so don’t take it the wrong way when someone asks if you’ve heard of “x” band. They’re not seeking a moment of self-satisfaction— they just want to be pals.

15) When the last Beatle dies, it’s okay to cry your eyes out.

That’s it. It’s been real.

Now let’s move on.

Give Dan his happy ending at dcook@georgetownvoice.com

fiction

georgetownvoice.com

Up in Beacon

by Joseph Romano Dear Sonny Jr.,

Last time you wrote you said you wanted to hear some of the old stories back when we had the bar up in Beacon. Your mother won’t be too happy I’m telling you, but you’re old enough, and I’m sure you could use a good laugh with all the tests and essays you have.

Also, use some of that money I sent with this to take a nice girl out some time. I know cash is hard to come by for you poor college kids. Anyway here goes!

It was three in the afternoon on a Sunday and the wood chips on the floor were stained with stale beer. The tap had been pouring all afternoon since Mass had let out at noon. Much busier than my morning.

As usual I had gotten up at ten, made my espresso with a lemon slice and touch of sambuca, and read the paper. At eleven your grandmother took your father and aunts to mass, along with everyone else in Beacon (Beacon was mostly all Irish and Italian Catholics back in those days). When everyone left, I started the peppers and eggs. The crackling of frying olive oil, and the tang of halved hot peppers meant peace for the next hour.

I threw the pan and the cutting board in the sink for the dishwasher to clean when he came in, and took my plate to the back office. I brushed the papers aside, sat down on the leather chair, and plopped my boots on the desk, steel clanging. I leaned back on the chair and sighed with relief that I didn’t have to do the books until tomorrow—counting money, paying salary, paying bills.

I had about two more forkfuls of scrambled eggs left when I heard the screen door hiss open, then thud shut. Must be Juan and Ramon. “Hola capo!” Yep, it was them. When I had first hired them years before, they had called me jefe, which was Mexican for “boss.”

When I had found that out, I made them call me capo, the Italian for “boss,” of course. On that condition, I wouldn’t ask them where they came from, and I’d pay them off the books. Best two employees I ever had. Juan, the older and fatter one, would wear the same chef’s coat and apron every day. Ground beef and grease were ingrained in the stitching, and no amount of scrubbing or bleach could get out those red-brown blotches. Ramon

would take food orders from the bar, and wash dishes. He was a skinny bastard, with a thick mustache that he never shaved in the 10 to 15 years I knew him.

But they stayed out of my way and I stayed out of theirs, they were the best employees I could have asked for. Certainly better than Cousin Johnny, who was always coming to ask me for a job, which really just meant he needed some money to go to the OTB for the day.

But one day he didn’t come back. About three years ago, he came in every day for a week and asked me for money. “Hey, Sonny, listen I’m hurtin’ right now, but don’t worry. You’ll get every cent back I guarantee it. I did my research on these horses, and Aphrodite’ll take it, I know it.”

You can still smell the bullshit now. I felt bad too, you know. His wife had left him only three months before, and he had a 6-month-old little girl, but I didn’t have money for his habit. The bar didn’t bring in great business because we were all friends, me and the clientele, so tabs would run unpaid, and I just didn’t have the cash to have it disappear at the track.

It was really pouring on this Saturday afternoon, and I still feel bad about what I did, it was humiliating for him. But I grabbed him with two hands by his collar, picked him up and threw him in the mud gravel of the parking lot. It was a bit of a ruckus, but I told everyone to get back to their drinks. And they

did. I never did see him again.

But rarely did we have these kinds of problems at the bar. Like I said, we were all friendly, mostly Italians, most of us had fought in Korea, so we were famiglia.

So back to that one Sunday afternoon just a few years back.

My old partner Leo was up visiting from Florida that weekend, but he was leaving that night after dinner.

After the war, we had come back to the States and joined the NYPD (I opened up the bar about five years after I retired), and back in those days, they were hurtin’ for anyone to sign up, and two ex-private first classes were exactly what they needed. But once we graduated the academy we got screwed over.

We originally had wanted to find a nice patrol on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and ease our way onto the job, but as the new guys, we were re-assigned immediately to the eight-one as we called it. By the way, next time you get pulled over by a cop because you’re speeding like some stunad guinea—you pull out that PBA card I gave you with your gift at Christmas, and you say “I’m sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?” and then you hand him your license and registration with the PBA card. Then when he asks you “What’s this?” you say, “My grandfather was on the job for twenty years at the 81 precinct in Bed-Sty” just like that. All courteous.

And if they don’t let you go, I’ll bring you to your court date, not to worry.

I know you hate these life lessons I’m giving you, it’s all boring and old for you young guys, but trust me on this one. And I know, I keep interrupting myself, I’ll get back to the story.

So me and Leo were old pals and had been through a lotta stuff together, so it was good to see him

again. But Leo was this prankster.

He was always pulling shit back at headquarters, taking Sgt.’s donuts, hiding people’s badges and guns, he was still just a kid. He never lost that in him though. He must be ‘bout seventy-one seventy-two by now, and he’ll still make you piss yourself laughing, you’ll see when you meet him soon. So anyway this one day, Mike had come into the bar and ordered his usual whiskey sour.

Mike had been a trombone player in a pretty successful big band back in the forties, but because he always stood right in front of the drummer he was going deaf pretty badly. So Leo came in with some of the other Beacon regulars after mass and sat at the bar. Leo had on this smirk like he was up to no good like back when we were cops. Once I poured them all beers, Leo got up right behind Mike where he couldn’t see Leo, and Leo signaled to the whole bar to be quiet. I just stood back behind the bar re-filling drinks and watched what happened next.

Leo and the rest of the regulars at the bar started gesturing and moving their mouths without making a sound. They all crowded around Mike, tapping him on the shoulder and patting him on the back, getting his attention to have fake conversations. After a while Mike seemed pretty disturbed, and he kept shouting, “Say again, I can’t hear you, what?” He must’ve thought the voice he heard was inside his head and no one else could hear him. Leo slipped away while everyone was messing with Mike, and got his old snubnose that he had used on the job. He snuck up right behind Mike, held the gun right by his ear, and fired a round into the ceiling. Mike was so startled that he fell right off the barstool. But he wasn’t a young guy

the georgetown voice 13 you know, and he fell pretty hard right on his arm. He just lied there on the beer-soaked wood chips for a bit, clutching his arm, grimacing, in pain. He eventually got up and then he screamed, “You shithead, you broke my goddamn arm!” and he went to punch Leo with his good arm. Leo wasn’t thinking and he just reacted.

He shot Mike in the leg. The bar went silent. Half the people crowded around Mike—rather, they crowded around his pool of blood, moving back bit by bit, so they wouldn’t stain their Sunday shoes. The other half stared at me that said tell us what to do, or that it was going to be ok. But I’ll always remember this one little boy who couldn’t take his eyes off of Mike.

You could tell he didn’t want to look, but he’d never seen so much red in his life. His father picked him up to carry him outside, but the little boy’s eyes were glued to Mike’s writhing and bleeding body. He stared over his father’s shoulder ‘til the door closed behind them.

Leo was all quiet. He gave me this look that had the same fear of that little boy, but without the curiosity. He was ashamed. The last time I had seen him like that was when his first wife said he was a bad father. I told him I was sorry, but I would have to call an ambulance.

I wasn’t gonna have Mike bleed to death at my bar and all.

Not to worry though, he gets out of prison in May and I’ll bring him to your birthday party. Memorial Day right? You can meet him then.

I think you’ll like him. He’s a good guy, but bad shit happens fast, as I’m sure you’re finding out for yourself. love

Take care and stay out of trouble, Pop

JIN-AH YANG

voices

14 the georgetown voice

april 22, 2010

I have a quote for you, New York Stock Exchange

by George D’Angelo Last weekend, at the behest of my finance professor, I went on the Business School’s annual New York trip. A friend of mine was also going on the trip, so I figured I’d at least be able to hang out with him for a few days in New York City and check out the New York Stock Exchange and a few banks.

The first Wall Street firm we visited began by serving our group a continental breakfast and talking to us about the financial services industry, new developments at the company, and a bit about their recruiting process. Then we got to speak to some employees. I was chatting up one of their bond traders, and after a few minutes I learned that he worked on a desk that traded mortgage-backed securities—the financial instruments that blew a hole in the economy.

He was a very likeable guy. And he seemed to be doing well—he still had a job, after all—and even laughed about the temporary (multibillion dollar) misfortune of his firm, which he had played a direct role in creating.

But in the books I’ve read about the recession, specifically Michael Lewis’s recently published The Big Short, which details the subprime mortgage market bubble and subsequent implosion, one of the major themes is that the people inside Wall Street were too busy looking at the trees and therefore missed the forest. This definitely rang true throughout most of the bank presentations.

So how can these banks, and the people working inside these firms, conduct business as usual—without stopping to take responsibility for the economic havoc they wreaked upon the global economy?

One of the underlying messages in The Big Short is that the corporate structure of the banks is the major reason why the economic crisis affected so many people. Until recently, nearly every Wall Street firm was structured as a partnership, meaning that a group of wealthy people owned and managed the brokerage houses. This small group of partners was well versed in finance, and generally kept a close eye on what kind of bets their trad-

ers were making and the amount of risk they were taking.

The foundation for today’s financial woes was laid in 1981, when one firm, Salomon Brothers, decided to sell its shares to the public. This meant a quick payoff for the CEO and upper managers at Salomon, though other Wall Street firms were furious that a brokerage house had “sold out.” While other firms initially protested Salomon’s move, the higher-ups at other firms soon saw the financial gains to be made by going public, and over the following two decades, most large Wall Street banks abandoned their partnership structures for corporate ones.

So, what’s wrong with that?

Now anyone, not just rich people, can have a slice of the profits from Wall Street, right?

Well, sort of. When the partners were controlling the firms, the traders were making bets with the partners’ money. The partners, being prudent, wouldn’t allow the traders to make overly risky bets—say, on the subprime mortgage market.

But now that the public owned the firm, the traders didn’t have

partners looking over their shoulders and watching their trades, and thus could take giant risks with little fear of repercussion. And since their pay is tied to performance, if traders make big profits for the firm, they take home a big check.

But if they lose big, the shareholders absorb the loss.

In the past, dozens of partners could sit around a table and manage the risk of the firm. Today, there is not a table in existence that could allow all the shareholders to keep tabs on what’s happening inside the banks.

One solution, though radical, would be to force banks to privatize, or return to a partnership structure.

When the partners are the ones with money on the line, they are more likely to keep track of what the traders are up to and less likely to allow banks to borrow boatloads of money—like how in 2007, Lehman Brothers had borrowed $44 for every dollar it owned—and in turn use that borrowed money to bet on risky assets.

A less radical solution would be to re-implement some form of the

1933 Glass-Steagall Act (repealed fully in 1999), which does not allow a bank holding company to own other financial companies. So, for example, an investment bank cannot own your local bank. That way, at least taxpayers would be largely relieved from bailing out giant firms like Citigroup, which has both consumer and investment banking arms under its umbrella.

I had a great time in New York, and I learned a lot—much of which I couldn’t learn from books. There are real people who sit and trade billions of dollars a day simply by clicking buttons—and these people, like human beings everywhere, are far from perfect in their judgments and motivations. I just can’t help but think that with today’s corporate structure on Wall Street, another similar crash is not far away.

George D’Angelo is a sophomore in the Business School and head of business for the Voice. He has all of his money in Eight-Minute Abs.

Binge, boot, and rally: The best night of your life?

Kate Imel By the time we turn 21, most of us have a story—most likely a rather embarrassing one—involving naïve, perhaps shameful shenanigans and alcohol. Most of us can vividly recall the first time we ever got drunk, stories that begin, “The first time I drank vodka” and end with some version of “and I threw up everywhere.”

The first time I drank vodka, I didn’t throw up everywhere. Instead, my late night Skyy-fueled antics drove me to collapse in a Starbucks the morning of my 16th birthday.

To make matters worse, two men at Starbucks called an ambulance, but a fire truck came instead. I narrowly avoided a hospital visit. But the worst part was not the eventual grounding or the fainting, but the shame I felt for behaving so recklessly. My best friend had lost her brother only months earlier to alcohol poisoning during a hazing incident. It was her mom who caught me that morning.

Although many of these stories provide us with a good laugh, a lesson, and a better understanding of our limits, it is curious that the majority of us must go through an uncomfortable experience like

mine to understand the dangers of binge drinking. Television abounds with anti-binge drinking ads, high-school health classes cover the negative effects of alcohol, and most college freshmen are required to take some form of alcohol education—yet we are bombarded daily by news of the latest binge-drinking tragedy. Why is it that we don’t get the message that binge drinking is a serious issue until alcohol forces us to surrender into a toilet bowl?

While feelings of youthful invincibility are often cited as the explanation for our propensity to engage in dangerous behavior, this isn’t necessarily the cause of binge drinking among teenagers and young adults. In a recent study by Northwestern University, researchers found that anti-binging ads might actually lead to more excessive drinking.

According to Nidhi Agrawal, the study’s lead researcher, these advertisements rely on the negative emotions of guilt and shame to a problematic extent. Instead of feeling a determination not to be the drunk, embarrassing kid at the party, we remember when we were the drunk, embarrassing kid at the party. As a result, Agrawal found, people who feel guilt

and shame become determined to “defend against those feelings,” and therefore drink more in an attempt to prove that they can handle it.

JIN-AH YANG

We salute you, Ms. Underage Drinker!

Although the findings of the Northwestern study on bingedrinking awareness ads are eye opening, they fail to suggest a realistic solution. While the reliance on guilt and shame certainly accounts for some of the limited impact of anti-drinking campaigns, I think the real issue is that they don’t address the root problem. Instead of focusing exclusively on the most effective way to limit binge drinking, we should look at

the underlying causes of this trend. Why, exactly, have most college students had dangerous encounters with alcohol?

A growing number of people trying to tackle this problem have focused on lowering the drinking age as a key to curbing the college bingedrinking epidemic. Recently the “Choose Responsibility” movement to lower the drinking age has gained momentum among universities like Middlebury and Duke. When the drinking age was raised from 18 to 21, many drinking habits were forced underground. The “cool” factor now associated with underage drinking has evolved into a kind of competition. Underage students are unable to legally purchase alcohol, but even with the use of a fake ID, drinking in public can be risky and expensive. To avoid these hassles, most college drinking features some variation of “pre-gaming.”

Slowly, however, and perhaps unknowingly, these pre-games have become more competitive than before. We drink more, and we drink faster.

Even while flipping through the channels on television, we are bombarded by the hypocrisy of the 21-year-old drinking age. Military recruitment ads tell us at 18 to “be all we

can be,” while the latest antibinge drinking ad reminds us to “stay above the influence” and keep our heads out of the toilet. We are constantly in a state of limbo—are we adults or aren’t we? Drinking age restrictions remind us that we are not yet adults, and therefore deemed not fully capable and not responsible for our own actions. Yet, we are considered fit to choose to fight for a country that will not legally allow us to drink a beer.

Positively focused ad campaigns might help decrease the prevalence of binge drinking, but they would still fail to get to the heart of the problem. Lowering the drinking age would bring drinking into the public sphere and make underground binging unnecessary. But as long as college students are forced to feign submission to the hypocrisies of their pseudoadulthood, they will continue to rage in heated battles of flipcup and pong, and blacked-out nights will continue to end with a splatter of vomit.

Kate Imel is a sophomore in the College and a staff writer for the Voice. She always reracks to diamond formation.

voices

georgetownvoice.com

the georgetown voice

15

Town versus gown: Why can’t we be friends?

by Will Sommer Of all the bad things to come out of last winter’s snowstorms, the founding of student group Georgetown Good Samaritans might end up being the most damaging for the University.

Losing President’s Day and nearly all city services was bad, but only Georgetown Good Samaritans perpetuated a damaging lie: That the neighbors would accept living next to students, if only we were nicer to them.

The Good Samaritans’ idea— that by doing nice things for neighbors like shoveling their sidewalks, they could reduce the number of 61-D citations and generally ease relations—is both noble and naïve. Putting aside the fact that anyone who can afford a house in Georgetown can also afford a snow shoveler, the neighbors have shown that their goal is to keep Georgetown’s students behind the front gates, emerging only to fly home and clean up neighborhood parks.

No number of clean sidewalks is going to change that.

Just look at the ongoing argument over how students and employees will get between Georgetown and the rest of the city. In

2008, Georgetown changed the route GUTS buses take to Dupont Circle because neighbors complained that the buses were causing historic houses to vibrate when they drove past. The new route added significant time to trips between Georgetown and Dupont, especially during times of heavy traffic.

When asked whether the vibrations meant that neighbors would advocate against Metro buses that use the same street, Advisory Neighborhood Commission Chair Ron Lewis replied that they wouldn’t, since those buses serve residents. If these houses are so fragile, how can Metro buses be allowed to vibrate them?

This attitude—that anything that benefits students is detrimental to the neighborhood— persists today, with neighbors criticizing even the smallest proposal in Georgetown’s 2010 Campus Plan and ignoring the significant concessions the University gives them. GUTS buses will probably be rerouted again, to a stunningly inefficient route that uses Canal Road. Even this doesn’t satisfy the neighbors, who don’t want Georgetown to build new parking spaces on campus, either. By making

bus routes unreliable and timeconsuming, and the only other transportation option unrealistic by limiting parking spots, the neighbors show themselves to be unconcerned with Georgetown’s future.

At best, the University will attempt to make five steps forward with the Campus Plan, and, because of crippling compromises made with neighbors, take four steps back at the same time. Yet students, including leaders of the Georgetown University Student Association and campus newspapers, continue to believe that if we’d only be nicer to them, the neighbors would love us. Newspaper editorials advise getting to know your neighbors, and being quieter when you’re drunk. That last one is ridiculous, of course— unless you really need to get a new hobby, when you’re drinking, the 2010 Campus Plan is far from your mind.

While getting to know certain neighbors may help you avoid a 61-D citation, it will ultimately not help Georgetown’s 2010 Campus Plan, or even get students reasonable GUTS bus routes. As long as they continue to elect hardliners like the Citizen Association of George-

The Happiest Place on Earth

Thanks to summer jobs, I haven’t been able to join my family on many of our recent summer vacations. At first I didn’t really mind—skipping family trips meant having the house to myself for a week to live as slovenly as I desire (which is quite slovenly, if I do say so myself).

After the initial euphoria of living alone for a week wears off, though—usually after about 12 hours, when I notice that no one has washed my dirty plates—I always come to the same conclusion.

As grating as being in a confined space with my family can be after seven or eight days, most of my best stories actually come from family vacations. It is the sort of thing that I really miss now that I have fewer and fewer opportunities to make new stories.

Perhaps my favorite occurred when I was in kindergarten. My parents decided that it was time for my younger sister and me to

visit Disney World—that glorious, plastic tribute to commercialism and consumerism rising up out of the Florida swampland.

Instead of flying, however, my parents decided that it would be more cost-efficient to drive 24 hours straight from New York to Orlando. Who needs the luxuries of air travel when we could pile into our Dodge Minivan with a handful of Capri Suns and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the cooler, and some homemade mix tapes in the cassette deck?

I don’t know what made them think that they could drive for 24 straight hours with nothing more than the occasional gas break. Perhaps it was a feat that they were able to achieve in their pre-parenting days when they were young and carefree, but with two young children in the car, it seemed a bit more like madness.

We made good time for most of the trip. Barreling down I-95 South,

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my father rarely lifted his leaden foot off the gas. It wasn’t until we reached hour 15 or 16 that things began to take a turn for the worse.

My parents were both exhausted and, having already traded driving duties several times, there was only a slim chance that we would make it to our destination without a pit stop. Just past the

Carrying On

by Daniel Newman A rotating column by Voice senior staffers

Florida border—only five or six hours from our destination—they finally gave in and decided to stop at the next hotel.

“Hotel” is a very generous word for the place we ended up staying that night. I can think of no better description for it than ObiWan Kenobi’s description of Mos Eisley Spaceport, “a wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

The building was a squat two stories, with maybe 15 or 20 units total. Paint was peeling off of nearly every surface. The “hotel” was squeezed between a motorcycle bar to one side—a place where it

SHIRA SAPERSTEIN

You can’t see them, but angry neighbors with pitchforks are behind all these doors. town’s Gianluco Pivato—who told an alum to “fuck off” in an e-mail about the plan—neighbors as a whole will oppose the University and the students who attend it.

The sad part is that students can’t fight them. Who cares enough about Georgetown to start an organization to fight whether or not the University enrolls more graduate students (currently one of the most contentious issues) ten years after you graduate? We couldn’t even organize against the new bus routes, an issue that had immedi-

looked like every patron knew the proper way to break the bottom of a glass bottle to make the most dangerous weapon possible—and a strip mall that looked like it hadn’t seen a customer since the Ford Administration.

My mother went to the office and checked us into a room while my father waited in the car with me and my sister, likely to try to stave off the seemingly inevitable car theft for as long as possible. My mother came back to the car with the room key and we all piled out ready to confront the room before us.

My father, with our bags over his shoulder, opened the sickly pastel green door with the silhouette of a number seven that had long since gone missing. The room reeked of mildew and cigarette smoke with a hint of industrialstrength bleach, clearly meant to reassure the guests that someone had actually attempted to clean the room.

As much as my parents may have thought that we were not going to make it through the night without a junkie breaking into the room or our car being stolen, we somehow did. However, it turned out that the rest of the hotel guests had not been so lucky.

When we went back out to the car the next day, it was impossible not to notice the police cars filling

ate negative consequences. This apathy is caused by a simple fact of University life: The neighbors will be here for decades, but most students are just here for four years. The best we can do is hope they don’t hurt the University too much—let them shovel their own sidewalks.

Will Sommer is a senior in the School of Foreign Service and editor-at-large for the Voice. He thinks that Samaritans are wusses. most of the parking lot. One of the officers came over and spoke to my mother and father, asking if they had heard anything strange in the night. Given the tenants of the hotel, it was difficult to tell what the officer meant by “strange”—but it likely had to do with the drug deal gone wrong that led to the murder of a man, two doors down from our room in the middle of the night. My parents said that they hadn’t heard anything out of the ordinary.

We loaded the car back up and pulled out of the parking lot on the last leg of our trip to Disney World. We eventually made it there. Besides one or two generic Disney-manufactured moments, I really have next to no memories of Disney World, but the trip did give me a great story about how I once slept in a seedy motel room, two doors down from a blown drug deal. Maybe not the most appropriate memory for a 6-year-old, but I just hope that one day my kids grow up with similar stories of their own.

Daniel Newman is a senior in the School of Foreign Service and a contributing editor for the Voice. He still drives the minivan.