Miracle Ansley
July 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 Miracle Baby ***Long and uncensored*** As many of you know Rachel delivered our second daughter Wednesday July 28, 2010 at 12:50 A.M. It was an emergency C-section, her water broke around 5:15 pm Tuesday so we gathered everything dropped Avery off with a friend until Rachels mom could make it here, and then headed to the hospital. We were in our own room being monitored by 9:00 pm. Everything was going fine, with the exception of meconium (baby's first stools) in the womb, and potentially a little in the babys lungs, so they notified the on-site pediatricians to be on hand. Then Rachel got up to use the bathroom and passed a rather large blood clot. The doctors were a little worried about the clot and Rachels bleeding, however they said that we would go forward and just monitor the bleeding. Then a little while later the baby's heart rate dropped drastically and over 10 nurses doctors, residents, students etc. were in the room working on Rachel, they were able to get the heart rate back up in a very short period of time, so they said they would monitor her closely and if it happend again we would have to go in for an emergency C-section. In the mean time Rachel was able to go ahead and get her epidural. However her heart rate did drop again, and the same thing happend, a ton of people came running in and the main doctor started barking orders to get the OR ready etc. That all started happening at 12:40am, they came and told he that Rachels epidural was not taking correctly and that they would have to put her completely under to hurry and get the baby here, and then I heard someone yelling about the heart rate dropping to a very low number, and so there was a lot of running etc. they were able to switch Rachels anesthesia and have the baby out by 12:50am. When Ansley was delivered she tried to take her first breath on her own but there was too much blood and meconium in her lungs so it was just a gargle. What had happend was the placenta separated from the uterus and ruptured. This caused Ansley to loose lots of blood, and was also the reason for all the blood that got into her lungs. The loss of blood deprived her of oxygen, and most importantly to the brain, it also caused the heart to stop beating because there was not much for the heart to pump. The doctors were able to suction a lot of the blood and fluid from her lungs, and get some fluids in her and do chest compressions and dose her with epinephrin to get her heart beating, until they could get some blood from the blood bank which only took a few minutes. While they were working on her they came and got me and brought me back so i could see and they could explain to me what was going on (also i think so i could see her while she was still alive in case they couldn't save her). There was again 8-10 doctors, nurses, residents etc in the room actively working on Ansley, 3 of which were directly working on her, others helping with supplies, monitoring her, etc. They worked on her for a solid 2-2.5 hours, they were able to stabilize her enough to transport her to Arkansas Children's Hospital which luckily is only about 5 miles down the street. It is one of the best children's hospitals in the country. I am convinced that the only reason that she is still alive is because the pediatricians were on site waiting to take Ansley as soon as she was born.
The doctors also told me that the OB/GYN know how to deliver the baby, but after that they are very limited in what they can/will do. After transporting her to Children's they have put her on something called a cooling cap that is supposed to help tremendously with any potential brain damage. That does not mean that she will be brain damage free. We are really not sure to what extent her brain has been damaged. However these cooling caps are supposed to be amazing, and in research studies the children that used the cooling cap in similar situations had vast improvements over children that did not, and that is with no side effects. Another miracle/blessing is Arkansas Children's Hospital is the best and most experienced hospital in the country with this treatment, they have treated more babies with this than any other hospitals in the country. Her current condition, she still has the respirator breathing for her, the cooling cap has to stay on for 72 hrs, after which they will perform EEG, CT scan and MRI to try to determine any damage etc. That will not be conclusive at all, the only real indicators will be within the first 6 months of development, and how she develops. She has had 2 blood transfusions, but seems to be ok with that and should not need another. Her blood gas levels are still being monitored and manually maintained. She is still in critical condition, but her outlook is positive. Lets not forget about mom, what happend is what kills some mothers during birth, sometimes the doctors are not able to stop the bleeding and the mom bleeds out. Fortunately Rachel is a fighter just like her daughter and is recovering from the surgery well, and cannot wait to be able to go see her beautiful daughter! Rachel, Avery, Ansley and myself are so grateful for all of our wonderful friends and family we have, and for all the thoughts, prayers, comments etc. We cannot make it through this without all of you. We love you, and will try to keep you updated. Here are a few phone pictures, I will try to get some better ones.
This was as she was being transported from the UAMS hospital to Children's
She even briefly opened her eyes to tell us goodbye and that everything is going to be OK!
They draped these blankets over the incubator to try to keep her body temperature up, but brain temp down with the cap
This is a shot of her in NICU, she was 8 lbs 4 oz, and 20 in
This is a close up of Ansley with the cooling cap on and all the machines hooked up to her.
(this is Rachel now) Today they are going to do an ultrasound on her head to check for bleeding and pockets of fluid, so please continue to keep her in your prayers. We will continue to keep everyone posted and thanks again for all the love, support and prayers that are being sent her/our way! We feel so blessed for every bit of progress we continue to watch her make. Joey has been more than AMAZING running back and forth between hospitals. Yesterday he went over there 5 times to check on her and was able to give her a priesthood blessing with another brother in our ward. He also took Avery to see her and she keeps telling us that she will help take care of Baby Ansley and wants her to come share her room with her. This whole process will take time and I am definitely learning patience as each new step and hurdle our new baby girl gets through is such a miracle! I hope to be out of here (hospital) some time this afternoon; it has been so hard to sit in this room and here babies crying in the rooms next to mine... I can't wait to hear our baby cry! Posted by Joey Rachel & Avery at 10:10 PM
20 comments:
Rochelle said... OMG I am in tears! You guys are so amazing and I can't imagine what you are going through. I am sooo glad that both of you are ok (well to some extent) and I can't wait until you guys can all be together again (at home!) I hope all goes well and I'll be thinking/praying of you guys! Love you and thanks for posting this text messages only do so much! LOL I wish we didn't live so far away! But thank goodness you are in Arkansas! July 29, 2010 10:15 AM Aloha_Misty said... Rachel I will be fasting for you and your baby! She is so beautiful! Hang in there and remember that so many of us are praying for you! July 29, 2010 10:37 AM Elder and Sora Linerud said... Dear Grahams, I don't know you except you are friends of my son Jon Selden and Suzette. Your story reduced me to tears and I want to thank you for sharing this special time. Miracles do happen! My husband and I are on a humanitarian mission in Romania and a major project we'll be doing in November is to bring doctors from Utah to train doctors, nurses and midwives the skills necessary to save newborn babies in the critical moments after birth. Your story brings a personal slant to our project. Thank you and know that you are in our prayers. July 29, 2010 10:42 AM SaRaH said... Baby.... I LOVE YOU!!! I am on my way if you want me there. please when you get a chance call me! XOXO sarah July 29, 2010 12:04 PM
Amanda and Daniel McLain said... I'm in tears... All I can say is WE LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Rachel and Ansley have been on Daniel's mind and my mind non stop. We continuously pray for both of your speedy recoveries. What a great husband and father Joey is! We wish we could reach out and hug you all and make everything better (and bring you some dollar store toys to play with ;-). I'm confident that the Lord hears everyone's prayers. Just know that you have a LOT of prayers coming your way! Trust in Him and His amazing power. Again, we love you all!!!!! July 29, 2010 12:48 PM Abbey and Todd said... I'm glad I got to see you for a second at least! Thanks for sharing this story. We all love you. Let us know what you need, and when you're up for games! July 29, 2010 1:18 PM Kayla & Roman said... This post has been removed by the author. July 29, 2010 2:21 PM the fowlers said... rachel! i just got online for the first time in days and i was so excited to check and see what was up with your family. i'm so glad that she is here and i just couldn't breathe as i read your story. that picture of you holding her little hand had me in tears. you are so brave. we're all rooting for baby ansley and the graham family! love and prayers! July 29, 2010 3:38 PM Lisa said... Wow. We have been so worried about you and your family! We will continue to pray for sweet little Ansley. This ward has seen many hard times and we all are ready and waiting to help. Please let us know what we can do. I am a firm believer in miracles and I know the Lord will stay with you all during this difficult time.
July 29, 2010 4:10 PM MommaG said... Dear Rachel & Joey, My heart has broken for you a thousand times the last couple of days! I wish your Athens II family could be there to carry you through this storm, but we will pray that your new ward family is there for you. The whole Goodwin family is holding you in our hearts and prayers, and we pray the Lord will give you the strength and energy you need. We will include you in our fast this weekend, too. There is power in the prayers of the faithful, so hold onto each other and know there are LOTS of folks in Bulldog country praying for you. July 29, 2010 4:22 PM koutroulakisfamily said... I love you guys...you are truly amazing. Ansely is as sweet as can be...you both are such beautiful, funny, strong, and amazing spirits I know you will come out on the otherside of this as warriors!...did I sound too cheezey : ) I mean every word just the same! When I grow up I want to be just like ya'll... July 29, 2010 5:34 PM wordandcraft said... Your sweet little family is in our prayers, and I know Ansley is in good hands at ACH. July 29, 2010 9:19 PM Betty Graham said... Joey and Rachel, I love you guys so much !! My heart and Prayers are with you and Baby Ansley.She is so beautiful ! Gran Ma July 30, 2010 6:45 AM
Suzette Selden said... Rachel - Love you so much, and hope you know that y'all are in our prayers and thoughts. We are thinking of you July 30, 2010 8:40 AM Penny said... I get emotional every time I think about y'all!! Y'all are on our minds and in our prayers. Thank you for the post and keeping us updated. I hope things continue to improve. Y'all are so strong. I love y'all so much!! July 30, 2010 9:04 AM Kayla and Roman said... Okay, Wow, I just deleted my comment that I left you all by mistake. Very sorry. Anyways, I'll post it again. My heart melts every time I think about what you all are going through. I can't imagine how hard and scary this must for you. You are all in our thoughts & prayers. We are hoping for a speedy recovery for both Rachel & Ansley. We love you & we miss very much. We are sending Many Many blessings your way. Hang in there guys, everything will be just fine! We Love You!! July 30, 2010 9:57 AM Emily said... We love you Grahams. And we love sweet little Ansley and are thinking of her and you. She is a very beautiful (and chunky!) baby. Good job to both of you for getting her here and for sticking it out through all of this as well. The Atonement works real miracles, big and small. Love you lots! Em and the boys July 30, 2010 1:59 PM Perschka said...
Dear Grahams, The Perschkas and the Athens II ward are thinking about you guys. You will be in our family prayers. Love ya and take care. July 30, 2010 2:50 PM Jared and Katy said... I realize I am repeating what everyone else has said, but you are in my thoughts and prayers! July 30, 2010 11:33 PM Sarah said... I don't even know what to say except you guys continue to be in my prayers! July 31, 2010 10:23 AM
Saturday, July 31, 2010 Ansley Update Well it has been about 4 days, so we figured that we would post an update. The last few days have been very tough, but we are dealing with everything much better than initially. We are so grateful to have Ansley be a part of our family and cannot wait to bring her home. No matter what happens Ansley has brought so many blessings into our lives and we know that she will continue to bless our lives. Thursday morning I was able to talk with the Doctor that was over Ansley, and I was able to ask her some questions. One that i think most everyone is interested in is her overall well being. I asked from the time she was born until now (thursday morning) if you were to draw a line graph in relation to her progress what would it look like, and she did her hand in a downward motion (the birth) and then a line straight across. That was hard to hear after over 30 hrs in Children's and on the cooling cap. She explained that Ansley had not urinated except for a few drops that morning, and that they are really hoping and expecting her kidneys to start working a little better to start filter out some of the wastes in her body. She told me that her blood pressure was very low and that they were putting her on 2 different medicines to try to raise that, and suspected that she has pulmonary hypertension, so they were starting to treat her with nitric oxide (20 ppm) to help dilate her veins, to help with the pulmonary hypertension. The Dr explained that in the womb having higher blood pressure on the right side of the heart (pulmonary hypertension) is normal, but when the baby comes out and takes its first breath it usually switches over to having higher pressure on the left. They performed an Echocardiogram and confirmed that was the case. They suspect that all of her abdominal organs took a hard hit similar to the kidneys so they will not attempt to feed her anything for at least another week, maybe longer depending on how she does. All of her nutrients will continue to be supplied through an IV straight into the blood stream. I asked about potential pneumonia from the fluid in her lungs and she said that she looked at the chest x-rays from that morning and that there is fluid in her lungs but no more than you would find in any other C-section baby, but that they would continue a normal antibiotic treatment. But she said "we are definitely not out of the woods yet" in regards to overall health, however she expects Ansley to make some big improvements in the next 24 hrs. Also Thursday afternoon is when they performed the Echocardiogram, and every 12 hours they remove the cooling cap message her head, and flip which side her head is leaning on, and at the Thursday afternoon removal they performed an ultrasound on her head to look for any bleeding, swelling, or pockets of fluid. The Dr told me that she expected to see all of the above. Fast forward to Friday, I talked to the same Dr and she said that she is making small improvements, that she is urinating a little more, but still not where she needs to be. The blood pressure was still giving them trouble, that they kept having to go up on both
medicines to try to maintain the proper blood pressure. She told me that the chest x-rays from Friday morning and that it looks like she might have some small pockets of pneumonia, so that they would keep a close eye on that and continue the antibiotics. She also told me the results of the ultrasound, and said that it looks like a normal baby's brain, no bleeding, no swelling, and no pockets of fluid. Yes that is exciting however, that does not show any brain activity, so we will have to wait until the cap comes off and the perform the 12 lead EEG, CT scan, and MRI to get more conclusive results, which will still not be conclusive, the best indicator will be the first 6 months of development says the Dr's. Friday evening they had to give her more platelets and another blood transfusion, I believe that puts us at 4 blood transfusions. However they were able to start weening her off of 100% oxygen. By the time Rachel and I left the Hospital last night at midnight they had stopped weening it at 65%. Now Saturday morning Rachel and I went in and the cap was removed early this morning, so they were able to take the sheets down from around her incubator so we could actually see her. Her reheating went well, the Dr said that she responded well to reheating, not to fast or slow. Unfortunately her oxygen had to come back up to 80% and she needed a little higher dose of blood pressure medicine. She also needed more platelets and another blood transfusion. She is still not urinating like she should, a little bit better, but still far off from where it needs to be so they are going to be starting some diuretics to pull the fluid from her tissues to try to get rid of it, and to try to help reduce her swelling and puffiness. We have never been so excited to see pee before! So the Dr said 2 steps forward 1 step backwards. But overall, we are happy with PROGRESS! Also one last thing, they will be performing all the major tests (CT-scan, MRI, and EEG) on Monday. We hope this helps anyone who is/will be fasting and praying for our little Ansley. We really do appreciate all the fasting, prayers, and kind thoughts that have been sent our way. We definitely would not be able to make it through all this without yalls love and support. Here are the pics from the camera so they are a little better than the pics from my phone. However I want to warn you about the 1st picture, it is a very sad and to me, graphic picture. But the reason I wanted to post it is to show the progress (look at her color change) that she has made and the AMAZING work that all the Doctors at UAMS and Arkansas Children's Hospital have done!
This picture was shortly after birth still at UAMS, when we were not allowed to go back so the nurse took our camera and took a few shots for us (pay attention to her color)
Right before she was transported to Children's we got to say goodbye
And she opened her eyes to let us know everything would be ok
This is where she will spend the next few weeks (as a friend of ours described this place to Rachel: "a little piece of heaven here on earth" and where miracles happen)
Her with her cooling cap, she is our little solider just fighting away!
While she had the cooling cap they had to keep the blankets around to try to keep her body temp up, so we could only make brief peeks through the blankets, but that didn't stop us from going up and just sitting next to her and Avery colored a picture for her:)
She is SO cute. No more cooling cap, although we were SOOO grateful she got that treatment we were glad when they took it off so we can see her more
CUTE
Our personal little Angel
Thanks again so much for the love, support and prayers! We can not express our gratitude for everyone's thoughtfulness and kindness; we will continue to keep everyone updated. Posted by Joey Rachel & Avery at 10:46 AM 15 comments:
Dr. Mom said... She is absolutely adorable!!! We are keeping all you in our prayers!! Connie July 31, 2010 1:10 PM renee said... Thank you so much for the update and any good news is still good news. July 31, 2010 1:46 PM Gary said... Joey, Rachel, Avery and the doctors and nurses are doing a phenomenal job!!! So amazing! You are so right, she is our little angel! So many prayers and fasts are being sent in her and y'all's behalf this weekend. Faith before the miracles! Expect to see miracles! Our gratitude to all at Children's and all out there sending messages, praying and fasting for this little one! July 31, 2010 1:58 PM Julie said... Thanks for the update! I know how hard this time is for you. We are remembering you guys in our prayers. July 31, 2010 2:01 PM Linds and Allen said...
Glad to hear progress is being made. Small steps for this little fighter and her faithful family. Thinking of you guys daily. Love from Athens. July 31, 2010 2:28 PM Kayla and Roman said... First of all, She is absolutely beautiful & so very strong! Thank you for updating us on Ansley's progress. Everything you mentioned are all the things we were wondering about. We are glad Ansley is making progress even if it is slowly. Some progress is better than none. We will continue to pray & we are hoping all the test come back normal on Monday. We Love you all!! July 31, 2010 3:18 PM Georgia Berg said... Rachel and Joey, She looks great and has come a long way. She will con tinue to get better and we are praying for ansley and your family. Our love goes out to you. She has dark hair, how beautiful. Love you, aunt georgia July 31, 2010 4:02 PM Rochelle said... So glad you updated! I am so happy for the progess! She definitely is a precious angel! She is adorable and I can't wait until you can hold her!!! July 31, 2010 4:08 PM Sarah said... Thanks for the update! Glad to hear there is some good news! July 31, 2010 4:59 PM
Cat and Blake Potter said... praying and fasting for you and your family Rachel. You are so strong, I am amazed at you and your family's strength. July 31, 2010 5:47 PM The Wallentines said... Ansley is SO beautiful! Ya'll are such a special family and so incredibly strong!We love you and love to hear about Ansley's improvement! We will continue to pray for ya'll and can't wait to visit you soon! July 31, 2010 6:11 PM MommaG said... What a precious little girl you have! Absolutely perfect! We continue to hold you close to our hearts and pray the Lord's continued blessings of strength and healing for both you, Rachel, and baby Ansley. Love you so much! July 31, 2010 8:37 PM Charis said... Oh she is darling and I love the dark hair!! Thank you for taking the time to update the blog! I love reading of Ansley's progress! Wha a strong little girl (and family) we are all praying for your sweet family! August 1, 2010 2:54 PM Emily said... Thanks for the update. We've been anxious to hear how things are going. Her color looks 1000x better. That's great. We'll pray that her blood pressure gets back up and her kidneys kick into gear and that that amazing little body can perform all the everyday miracles that bodies do. We love you. We're thinking of you.
August 1, 2010 7:30 PM Suzette Selden said... We are thinking, praying, and fasted for y'all. She is such a cutie. We love y'all. August 1, 2010 7:56 PM
Monday, August 2, 2010 Thoughts Honesty & Gratitude So a friend of mine made a blog post a couple weeks ago titled HONESTY and told of some happenings that took place in her home even though it wasn't the most happy and "picture perfect family" posting. I really liked the post because it was just little sibling disputes that are inevitable in every home but I loved how she told the story honestly because we all can relate. I give you this precursor because this is going to be my honesty blog posting. I'm sitting here awake at 2 am thinking back to 2 weeks ago when I was mentally preparing myself to be up with a baby every 3 hours. Instead I'm up every 3 hours with my yellow medela breast pump and hoping this milk will get to be used sooner rather than later. Ansley is still receiving all her nutrients through an IV and will not be able to use a feeding tube for at least another 5 days:( All the tests excluding the MRI (it will have to wait until she comes off one of the machines she's on) were ran today and we receive the results in the morning (maybe this is why I can't sleep). I'll have Joey post the results tomorrow. (or I mean later today) I was also thinking back to the times I complained of pregnancy and the difficulty in that first month being home with a newborn baby. I think the Lord is teaching me some valuable lessons and I'll think before I do much more complaining. Here are some of the things I have been grateful for that I never imagined would mean so much before-the sound of a baby crying - my baby's eyes being open -wet diapers (I get to give Ansley a bath and change her diaper tomorrow & I'm so excited!!!)
(this is her favorite position, the nurses said they turned her over like this and she was just a snoozin'!)
Also, as much as I know that everything these past few days has happened for a reason and God has a plan I have allowed for thoughts like these: -because of MY body's malfunction, my baby girl is hooked up to what seems like a million tubes and in the NICU -if the baby would have come sooner maybe my placenta would not have tried to detach from the uterus -was there something I did during pregnancy that made this malfunction happen?! I know again the Lord is strengthening me and teaching me to substitute these negative thoughts with these: -the staff at UAMS at the time I came into the hospital could not have been more fabulous and better prepared for the events that occurred. - Arkansas Children's Hospital is the leading hospital in the country with the treatment and knowledge of the cooling cap (that Ansley needed)
- I am fortunate that I was at the hospital when my placenta detached from the uterus or I may not even have our little Ansley here right now. - I am grateful I was given strength to prove I was able (walk and get around well after my cesarean) to be discharged from the hospital early to be with my family. As much as I am trying to keep an optimistic attitude I thought I'd be honest and sort through some things while I am unable to sleep. Today was hard because I watched a premie come into the hospital last night and get stationed across from Ansley. The baby weighed 1.5 lbs. The mom came in today and as I saw her holding her baby tears just started falling down my face. I was not envious of this mother, but I thought-- this baby just came in last night and mine has been in here 6 days and I still can't hold her! I was glad the mom was able to hold her baby, I don't wish this on anyone. I just longed to hold Ansley like she got to hold hers. As I was watching this I had little Ansley's fingers around my index finger and she gave it a little squeeze. It was small and simple but helped me snap out of it and I know I will eventually get to hold her I just need to be patient.
I think this is my favorite picture EVER! My 3 FAVORITES!!! I love them!
In times like these I had a relief society president in my BYU ward advise us to focus on all the things we are be grateful for. I don't think I've ever felt so grateful in my life as I have these last 6 days. (Isn't funny how our feelings can range so completely opposite on the spectrum when events like these happen?!) I will never be able to fully show how grateful I am for the love and support me and my family have received. I have felt your love and continue to because of your prayers! I'll make a list so I can visually see how blessed I am and how much our Heavenly Father cares for us and sends his earthly angels to us in times of need: 1. This last Sunday I received emails that 5 different wards (including our new one here that has taken us in so quickly with open arms) included us in their fasts. 2. Comments, Emails, Phone Calls and texts from family and friends expressing love and concern. They always come at the best times! 3. Messages I have received from people I do not even know but took time to share a similar experience and that they care and are praying 4. Help with Avery so Joey and I are able to go to the hospital to meet with doctors. 5. Family (near and far) that have come to help!!! 6. The yummy Dinners that have been brought by (not a day has gone by that a dinner has not been brought in) 7. Gifts that have shown up at the hospital from family, friends and anonymous givers (if you were one of the "unknown gift givers" thank-you) I went down to the gift shop to see if a mistake was made and they left off the from, the lady said it was meant to be unknown
so thank you... I feel bad not making a thank you card for it. 8. Packages and cards that have been sent in the mail. 9. People who have called or emailed to tell us they put Ansley's name on the temple prayer roll. 10. Caring and Trained Nurses and Doctors 11. Joey (I couldn't ask for a better husband, he is the BEST) and Avery (I am probably driving Avery nuts with all the hugs and kisses I constantly want to give her) 12. Visitors and many many more things I am sure I have left out Every bit of it has made us smile and been a comfort! I am so so GRATEFUL for EVERYTHING and thank you, thank you, thank you to ALL! I think now I'll sleep better... Posted by Joey Rachel & Avery at 11:45 PM 21 comments:
Debbie said... I think about your family every day. Thank you for keeping us updated on Ansley's progress. I love the picture of Avery looking at her. I miss her in nursery. What angel babies you have! August 3, 2010 3:11 AM koutroulakisfamily said... I love the new pictures. THe pictures are AmAaazing (using my best Joey voice. Avery looks all grown up and very concerned and loving. I miss her so much. I miss you guys so much and grateful to have you in my life. August 3, 2010 3:54 AM renee said... Well, Rachel, I couldn't keep dry eyes after this posting... What a test for you all and what a beautiful attitude. August 3, 2010 4:16 AM
MommaG said... Dearest Rachel, My heart has not been far from this past 6 days, and I hope you feel our love from so far away. It is difficult to be upbeat and happy when life has thrown you a huge curve ball, when plans and expectations change on a dime, BUT I promise that the Lord is mindful of you. Once when I prayed in agony about my struggles, I felt/heard the Lord tell me that He couldn't not remove my test, but that He would carry me through it. I suspect that's what you are feeling. We cannot remove this test, either, but we (your friends & family) will do everything we can to carry your little family through this trial of your faith. I found that reading the scriptures and making my topic of study "miracles & faith" was helpful. It gave me food for thought & helped me to know that the Lord is mightier than all. Now, you MUST take care of yourself so that when little Ansley comes home you will be ready for those long nights of rocking and snuggling. :) I love you and miss you so much. Did I tell you what a beautiful baby she is? August 3, 2010 5:40 AM Molly said... Rach - you are a trooper and encourage the rest of us with your faith. Thank you!! Hang in there - everything seems like it's going to work out!! Avery is SOOO cute looking and ready to care for her little sister! August 3, 2010 5:50 AM Betty Graham said... Rachel/ Joey, I know you do not know so I will tell you..We went thru this with Gary`s youngest brother, Chris only we had already come home from hospital and he was about 4 days old and we had to rush him back to hospital..So many days and nights spent watching him in his little incubator, then finally getting to hold him and rock him in the hospital nursery..needles were stuck in his tiny little head to draw fluid , trying to find his problem..I tell you all this as proof that baby Ansley will get better..Our Chris is our proff..Love you guys, Gran Ma August 3, 2010 5:57 AM Paul and Sarah said...
We're thinking about you and praying for you guys daily. Thanks so much for this sweet post, makes me more grateful for what I've been given. I can't wait for you to hold that sweet baby girl! Hang in there. August 3, 2010 7:00 AM Rochelle said... I didn't think you could make me cry more - but each blog post just makes me cry more! If you ever need someone to just cry to or to make you feel better cause I say the dumbest things - You can always call me...Heck I'm probably up the same time at night that you are! LOL I can't wait for you to hold Ansley either!!! And I love the picture with Avery and Joey! August 3, 2010 7:18 AM Kayla and Roman said... Well Rachel, I just finished reading this and I have to be honest, I was in tears throughout the whole blog. I just cannot get this out of my head. I think about you all 24-7(literally) and I just hate that you are all going through this. But just know that God never gives us more than we can handle. He gives us obstacles to see just how strong we are, and you & Joey are doing a great job at staying strong throughout this whole process. In times like this we all think about what we could have done differently or we tend to blame ourselves for the unfortunate circumstances that have occurred, but it's not what we did or didn't do. It's just God's way of teaching us about Life and it's values. We love you and we miss you VERY VERY much! We wish we could be there but instead, we will continue to pray and think about you all and just keep you close to our hearts. Your friendship means so much to us and we are very thankful that we have you & Joey as friends. Hang in there guys & give those 2 beautiful girls a Hig and Kiss from us. xoxo August 3, 2010 7:56 AM Kayla and Roman said... *A Hug & A Kiss* :)
August 3, 2010 7:58 AM Jared and Katy said... Rachel...I love your honesty in this post. I could tell you not to be down on yourself, but I believe it's all part of the process. I can sense your amazing strength in your words. And your love for Ansley is so pure. You are in our prayers and we are VERY hopeful for Ansley's recovery! love ya! August 3, 2010 8:54 AM Amanda and Daniel McLain said... Rachel, I am going to have my moment of honesty with you. I don't think I have ever told you how much I look up to you and respect you. I have seen you grow in your spiritual strength from the first time we 'skipped' RS to hang out until now. ;) I wish you could see it from my perspective because you truly are amazing. You have a wonderful family, Joey and Avery, to support you in every way (even your extended family is awesome!!!) You are one of the strongest women I know (and there are some very strong women on that list!) Thank YOU for so freely sharing your thoughts and feelings at this time. It has strengthened me in ways you may never know. I know you are touching other people's lives too with your strength, faith, and positive outlook. I feel honored and blessed to call your family our friends. It goes without saying, Daniel and I will continue to pray for your sweet family. We miss you terribly and love you all lots! August 3, 2010 9:07 AM Gary said... Hi family. Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you. We Love you guys. Rachel, you did nothing wrong. Stay Strong Read this quote from Pres. Monson. "I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior
will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us." --Thomas S. Monson, "Be of Good Cheer", Ensign, May 2009, 89–92 August 3, 2010 10:25 AM Cat and Blake Potter said... What a beautiful post, can't tell you're tired at all :) Thank you for posting your feelings because so many of us are learning from you right now, and your strength is giving strength to others, without you even knowing it. Keep it up and it's ok to cry. I cannot wait for you to hold your little angel soon. August 3, 2010 11:48 AM the fowlers said... Look at her hair! More hair than Ellie has! Oh, she's just so beautiful. I can't wait for you to hold her, either. I'm waiting every day to see a picture of the whole family cuddling - I'm sure it will make me bawl! Love you! August 3, 2010 12:44 PM Lara Mackelberry said... I'm in your ward as of two weeks ago, and just met you the Sunday before Ansley was born. Anyway, just want you to know I'm teaching your primary class til you feel up to it-they were so sweet and wanting to know how you and the baby were. If someone falls through on dinner just let me know! I'm sososo sorry you are going through this btw. Years ago, Children's was a miracle for our family. We'll talk sometime. August 3, 2010 4:58 PM Penny said... I get tears reading how strong you are and how you are able to look at all the positive aspects. You are an example to all of us. I wish I could be there with you
and give you a big hug!! I think about you daily and am always looking at your blog for any new info. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. I love you! August 3, 2010 8:49 PM Julie said... I appreicate your honesty and gratitude. I know your pain first hand and I think that overwhelming fear of the unknown is one reason I don't want to be pregnant again. I can flip that around and say I know the wonderful feelings of love and joy after having to wait 8 days to hold your baby. Continue to take care of yourself! Hugs and Kisses! August 4, 2010 5:01 AM Kim said... Oh how I love you Rachel! What a beautiful post. Its so good to take the time to write about both - those honest feelings of the heart - how you feel and ache and hurt and also how you can see the blessings at the same time. You and Joey are amazing. Your strength is inspiring. I'm so glad I got to spend a little bit of time with y'all. I love the new picture of Joey and the girls. Remember I'm just a phone call or text away if you need to chat.... anytime. love you!!! August 4, 2010 8:12 AM Linds and Allen said... Oh I love all of that dark hair. She's so precious with her little butt up in the air like that. Praying for good news from the tests earlier this week. Thinking of you guys often. August 4, 2010 5:18 PM The Wallentines said...
RachelI love this post. You KNOW that we love ya'll SO much but I'm gonna tell you anyway. We love you, Joey, Avery and beautiful little Ansley! I cannot imagine going through all that you have been through so far and the journey that you lies ahead but you are handeling it with such grace. I love to read about the progress that Ansley is making and the progress that your family is making as you draw nearer to one another and depend on the love of one another and the Lord- not to mention the love of good friends :) I cannot wait for you to finally hold your precious little Ansley in your arms and look into her sweet eyes and kiss her! I know that it will be an amazing moment that will always be close to your heart. I wish I could be there to see the love in your eyes as you hold her. I know that you are SO strong and you will get through this and it's so good that you know that you aren't going through it alone. We love you and can't wait to visit with you soon! Just let us know when and we will be there! Even if you were on the other side of the world- You will NEVER be to far of a drive for us! August 4, 2010 7:48 PM
Thursday, August 5, 2010 Ansley Update II Sorry it has been so long since we have updated Ansley's status. However, we never really got any definitive results from her testing. The echocardiogram still showed the pulmonary hypertension, the EEG showed no seizure activity (although she is on antiseizure medicine, and probably will be for the first 6 months). The more conclusive test is the MRI, however they will not be able to do that test until she is off of the nitric oxide. It is not a big deal, the MRI will not change any treatment it is more just for knowing. Monday the doctors had a nephrologist (kidney specialist) come and meet Ansley and start to get involved because she started to have blood and blood clots in her urine. He came and talked to Rachel and I, and he explained that she was/is experiencing kidney failure even though she was producing more urine than the catheter could handle (they had to remove the catheter). He was also saying that they would be monitoring her kreatin levels in her blood twice a day to make sure that they dont get to lethal levels. A normal baby has levels around 0.5, but anything under 1 is ok. Her levels on monday were at 3.4. He said that they are going to try to wait it out and try to let her body repair its self and start functioning on their own. That is the best case senario, worst case senario is that they have to put a tube in her side so that she can come in for long term dialysis for at least 2 years until her body is big and strong enough to handle a kidney transplant. Tuesday morning her kreatin levels had dropped to 3.2, and by tuesday evening hey had dropped to 3.1. Not huge improvements but at least not any higher. Wednesday morning down to 3.0, and the biggest improvement was last night they had dropped to 2.5. Still more than two and a half times normal but definitely a downward trend. Also, there is still blood in her urine but at least there have been no more clots. They have been weaning her oxygen, and said that the magic number is 60% oxygen that they want to get to in order to be able to start weaning the nitric oxide. As of last night she was at 60%, so we have to hope she can maintain that, we will see when we go in today. The blood pressure medicines have been weaned, one completely off and the other one down to a rate of 10 from 15.
Rachel SOOOO excited she gets to help bathe Ansley and change her diaper
Avery reading Ansley her favorite book, Brown Bear
Posted by Joey Rachel & Avery at 8:20 AM 1 comments:
Kayla and Roman said... We will continue to pray for Ansley. She is in our hearts and definitely on our minds. A slight improvement is better than no improvement. I know as the hours past and the days go by, she will gradually make more progress b/c she is a Graham, and Grahams are very strong individuals. We Love you All!! August 5, 2010 9:41 AM
wordandcraft said... I'm glad to hear she is making some improvement, though I'm sure it's never as quickly as you guys would like. Our family prays for Ansley every day, and we hope you feel the tender mercies of the Lord as you go through this. August 5, 2010 9:59 AM Stacy said... I am glad to see hear the creatinine levels are lower...will pray specifically for her kidneys to continue the healing! Wow...Rachel, you guys keep me focusing on what is important! Avery is such a sweet sister!!! Thinking of you, continuously! August 5, 2010 10:07 AM