The Tongue

The Tongue

Pastor Thomas P. Schaller graduated in 1975 from Northeast School of the Bible, based then in South Berwick, Maine. He began serving as pastor for a missionary team to Helsinki, Finland, that same year. He spent more than six years in Finland, made a brief stop in Stockholm, Sweden, and then returned to the United States for nearly a decade. In 1990, he began leading the Greater Grace World Outreach team in Budapest, Hungary. He served there until he returned to America in 2003 to assist in the work at GGWO’s home base at Baltimore. Since April 2005, Pastor Schaller has served as Pastor of GGWO in Baltimore and ministers with a team of servant-leaders who compliment the vision and work of GGWO churches worldwide. He is also a teacher at Maryland Bible College and Seminary.

Steve Andrulonis entered full-time ministry in 2006 after spending more than 25 years as a journalist, including nearly 20 years with the Baltimore Sun newspaper as a reporter, editor, and page designer. He has been a teacher with Maryland Bible College and Seminary since 2001. He is also the assistant to the senior pastor of Greater Grace World Outreach and GGWO’s editorial director. He and his wife, Jean Marie, live in Baltimore. They are the parents of two sons and two grandchildren.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from the King James Version. Italics for emphasis are ours.

Grace Publications 6025 Moravia Park Drive BALTIMORE, MD 21206 Printed in Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A. Copyright © 2012

Grace Publications is a ministry of Greater Grace World Outreach, Inc. www.ggwo.org ISBN#1-57907-603-3

Table of Contents Introduction..............................................5 Chapter One................................................7 Yes, Yes, Amen, Amen Chapter Two...............................................13 Types of Tongues Chapter Three ............................................20 The Content of the Heart Chapter Four..............................................27 Right Things Said the Right Way

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Introduction Do we really understand the potency of our tongues? Our words do many things for good and for evil. Words can be healing and words can be cutting.

Consider this: An Irish girl in Massachusetts took her life recently because she felt bullied by classmates who wrote things about her on Facebook. Why did she get up that morning and read those words? They were mocking words, sentences of ridicule. These statements ricocheted through the halls of her high school and left mortal wounds upon her psyche. These words carried her into a depression and despair that overwhelmed her, so she turned to suicide.

What a sad story.

Clearly, we have to be careful with our tongues. James wrote that the tongues of men and women are set on fire from Hell (James 3:6).

Be careful with what you say, but also be careful about what you read, be careful about what you listen to, be careful about what you type out on your computer. Your words possess a power and a potential. You might be setting a fire, a forest fire with the spark of your words.

Have you heard the angry man howling his curses through the aisles of the local hardware 5

store? Have you thought, “Why such language?

What’s the real issue in this heart? What damage does this tongue do?” Such poison. Such pollution. Do we recognize just how our words can poison our marriages and damage our families?

We can tear our families apart with what we say.

In the name of being straight talkers, we convey things with the energy of emotion and criticism.

We have to watch what we store in our hearts for surely these things spill out somewhere, somehow.

This booklet is written because too many fires are being set consciously and unconsciously. Foolish and harmful words swamp the airwaves of radio and television. Political discourse has so degenerated that it’s now a bog of gossip and slanders. As believers, we cannot allow our tongues to wallow in these things.

May God teach us what it means to have silver tongues that express redemptive words, gracious words, healing words, life-giving words.

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Chapter One

Yes, Yes, Amen, Amen “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body” (James 3:1-3).

“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil” (Matthew 5:37).

“If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain” (James 1:26).

The gray areas of life create problems in communication. In this instruction from the gospel of Matthew, Jesus counseled those listening to be black and white about life and with their communication in life. It’s really very simple, the Lord said. Just say, “Yes or no.” To say any more than this gives place to the devil and opens room for evil to have its influence. We need the authority of God over our tongues. Proverbs 7

10:20 refers to the silver tongue that emphasizes redemption, and in Acts 2 the believers in the upper room were filled with the Spirit and spoke in other tongues—languages they had not learned formally. Those hearing these utterances, given from God, were caught by the sound and heard the Gospel message. It’s important for us to speak after this manner, with a tongue controlled by the Spirit, in our services, in our fellowship, and in all of our conversations.

The authority of God over our tongues is an evidence of His authority over our hearts. We speak what is in our hearts. We react, initiate, relate, and converse based on what is in us. James 3 offers advice for those who would teach. Teachers do lots of talking and this passage indicates that the talkers are held responsible for their words because those words are coming from a heart. The teacher’s words have influence.

Horsepower The horse metaphor in James 3 has always impressed me. It’s remarkable that a small cylinder of metal situated in just the right place, in the mouth, is what keeps a horse on course.

Mature horses weigh more than 1,200 pounds with strong, nimble legs and wide midsections.

In motion, a thoroughbred moves with speed and force. We gauge engine power according to 8

horse power—a 400 horsepower motor produces the energy of 400 horses. There is something awe-inspiring about a horse’s appearance. This animal’s size and strength have captivated men for thousands of years. And yet, all of this raw, natural power is bridled by the bit.

I find it interesting that James connects the power of a horse—body weight 1,200 pounds— with the power of the tongue—net weight 6 to 8 ounces. This small member in our mouths carries great force. The mature Christian lets the Holy Spirit bridle his tongue. This type of believer, James writes, does not stumble with his words.

Simply put, a man whose heart is sound with God is careful about what he says. He recognizes the power of his words and what those words can do for God and, when expressed out of order, for evil.

The tongue has a pull on us, taking us from one place to another. What we speak carries influence. What we say reveals what spirit we are of. Some seem to be religious, but they lack authority over their tongues. What’s missing?

The bridling of the Spirit. In the process of maturity, there is a huge effect and great growing capacity for life when we learn how to use our tongues.

A big part of this is how we talk to and about ourselves, according Ephesians 5:18-19. We don’t 9

put ourselves down; we don’t belittle ourselves with our speech, but we learn how to speak from the presence of God. Psalm 17:2 says, “Let my sentence come from your presence.” This is a beautiful thing. It’s a new capacity for life. When we believed on Jesus Christ, each of us was given a new heart. As objects of his grace, we received the Holy Spirit. He gave you a new heart. Daily, we learn how to walk in these realities of faith.

Froward Mouths, Deceitful Hearts “A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth. He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers; Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord. Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken without remedy. These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 6:12-20).

Let’s make a structural observation on these verses. A wicked person talks with a naughty 10

tongue. We meet people whose mouths speak proud things. They are at our working places, perhaps in our families, and sadly even in our churches. In the traffic of life, we encounter these people who speak in a certain way. Discord sown among brethren, it happens. God views it as an abomination, a terrible, terrible sin of the tongue. In fact, it is one of seven abominable sins listed in the Scriptures.

Evil speaking is out there, so what recourse do we have? Keeping our father’s commandments and forsaking not the law of our mothers.

Proverbs tells us to bind these things upon our hearts and to tie them about our necks. We take the teaching and really get close to it. It leads us; when we are sleeping, it keeps us; when we are awake, the teaching talks to us. We listen to words from above, and we learn how to speak them.

Reproof and instruction are the ways of life.

Ignore these and we succumb to the flattery of the strange woman. Naughty words puff up; they inflate the self life and position people for great falls. The words of the strange woman create false intimacy. They are tasty morsels that stimulate and manipulate. A dangerous frame of reference forms when we hear these things. We understand how devastatingly powerful words can be. These tear us down, discourage us, be11

little us, intimidate us, slander us—all of this is part of our life.

In contrast, the Word that is in our hearts establishes our relationship with God, speaking to us and keeping us. Flattery is out there, but in us is discernment, the mind of Christ and the Word of life that is able to deliver us and give us wisdom. Job tells us that as the tongue tastes food, the ears should test the words we hear. Right hearing fuels our capacity for right speaking. We take the words of instruction, bind them on our hearts and then our tongues are careful tongues, speaking silver words, precious words, right words. Jesus said that our mouths reveal the content of our hearts, naughty speaking comes from a naughty heart.

We expose what we have been thinking with our words. Mature words come from mature hearts and mature hearts are made through the intake of high dosages of Bible doctrine.

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Chapter Two

TYPES OF TONGUES “Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that” (James 4:13-15).

Boastful, Divisive Tongues Our tongues can be boastful. We make proud statements regarding our possessions and our achievements. There can be an overemphasis of accomplishments. Boasting implies that our good fortune is a result of our own efforts and does not give glory to God. Our tongues can be divisive, giving false witness that spreads disharmony. This is product of bitter envying and strife in the heart. Have you been wounded by someone’s words? Have you been offended by words spoken about you?

Slander and maligning create distance where there should be none. What words did Lucifer use as he trafficked through the angelic realm 13

and swayed a third of the host to disengage from God? Is it any wonder to us that James describes the tongue as a world of iniquity?

The Deceptive Tongue Among the most destructive forces at work in our world is the deceptive tongue. It represents the most blatant form of lying. Deceitfulness involves the deliberate and intentional promotion of a false idea. People practice deception for financial gain, for social advantage, to hide immoral acts, and to gain control over others.

A tragic example of the deceptive tongue at work is in 2 Samuel 13 where we meet the despicable Jonadab. This man crafted a scheme for David’s son, Amnon, who burned with lust for his half-sister Tamar. Jonadab gave Amnon a plan to seduce the girl. Amnon would pretend to be ill and ask for Tamar to bring him a meal.

The result was rape, the sister was defiled and exiled, and her brother, Absalom, nursed his rage for two years. The sordid affair ended with Absalom inviting Amnon to a party, getting him drunk and then ordering his servants to strike and kill him for what he did to Tamar.

Read through 2 Samuel 13 and there is Jonadab still lurking in the court of King David. This snake of a man hatched a criminal plot and slithered through it all. So smooth, so oily, so decep14

tive—people like Jonadab are out there. They worm their way into our situations and we must have the discernment that comes with trusting God and His Word. Half-truths, undisclosed information, and subtle exaggerations roll off some tongues. Let’s be ready for them. And, let’s not get caught up in practicing these same things.

We can be tempted to overstate a matter in order to attract attention. Ananias and Sapphira sought a measure of affirmation when they exaggerated the scope of their offering before the apostles and the members of the infant church in Acts 5. The Holy Spirit at once passed judgment on their pretension and their sudden deaths were a witness and warning that God will not be mocked.

Our tongues, we need to use them wisely, speaking the truth in love. I am not saying this so that we would be introspective, but we need to be aware that if we are walking with God, God will bring the Spirit, and the Spirit will examine our hearts. This is for our health. This will affect our speech and our relationships; it will affect how people will perceive us. We are not looking to promote ourselves, but we are interested in glorifying God. Cynical and Belittling Tongues The cynical tongue exposes a lack of trust in 15

God and in people. In the gospels, Judas Iscariot whined about the plight of the poor when the box of ointment was broken and the ointment poured upon Jesus. What was said may have been true, but this statement sprang from a spirit lacking in trust, in good will, and in good intentions.

Such cynicism sprouts from bitter seeds and these seeds produce hatefulness of heart. Hateful hearts turn their tongues to slander. Much slander happens in this world with people saying things behind people’s backs. Backbiting and slander are so destructive. Whisperers try to spread their information under the radar. The intention is to tear down and ruin reputations and to injure. Satan’s name means accuser and slanders are built on accusations. The devil energizes this kind of talk to minimize the effectiveness of fruitful believers.

There is a tongue that belittles, or makes others appear small. It speaks the way it speaks because its mindset is one of self-promotion. Part of this mindset involves chaining others through criticism and fault-finding.

Insecurity produces these tongues. Belittling someone can create a sense of superiority, if only for a moment. Somehow it actually brings satisfaction because there is envy in the heart. This tongue tears down. It does not want people to be 16

so happy, so secure, so confident, and so encouraged. Wrong spirits and wrong hearts put these kinds of words out there.

The Tongue of Slander The slanderous tongue just cannot be among us. There has to be an authority from God over our tongues, so that we don’t utter slander. Anything we say we should be able to say with a microphone to the whole world. If we have a problem with someone, we go directly and in confidence. We do it personally.

This intention in the carnal heart of man is ever so crafty and capable of much mischief. Using words to deceive, to sow discord, to break relationships, and to stir trouble in the lives of people grieves the Holy Spirit. It’s all about people looking for a handle on someone so they get a bit of leverage. Our words have to be sourced in the purpose of God for revival and for the building of faith, trust, encouragement, and edification.

The Complaining Tongue Another tongue mentioned in the Scriptures is the complaining tongue. Do we really realize how sensitive God is to the whole idea of us complaining? We are to make our complaints before God. Once we bring them before God, we must be careful not to repeat them all the time 17

and wind up living in them. We hurt our lives with this kind of pattern. If our tongues are under the authority of God, our capacity for life will increase. We learn how to suffer, we learn how to edify, and we learn how to encourage.

Party spirits loiter where complaining rules the atmosphere. Groups form where people sense that they can talk this way to sympathetic ears. Things are vented from fallen natures; things people wouldn’t dare say into a microphone because they are not ultimately edifying and certainly not spiritual. These are words from wounded hearts, words from troubled people.

This kind of talking degenerates into gossip and maligning.

Meddling Tongues of Gossip Gossip involves meddling tongues (see Proverbs 6:17). Every once in a while you meet someone who cannot stop asking questions. Who was over at your house? Who was with them? How long did they stay? What did you do? What did you eat? Why did they come? Why wasn’t Eddie there? Wasn’t Eddie supposed to be there?

What car did they come in? Is it going to happen again?

What’s the point of such questions? What do these tongues want? Information. With information, the meddling tongue gains an inflated 18

sense of significance. It knows something that others don’t know. Transparency, honesty, and confidentiality are important. Churches and organizations have to communicate with clarity. It is in the gathering of information where trouble comes. Whisperings mask the nature of a meddling investigation. The secret searching out of some matters is wrong. If you are prone to natural curiosity, make a special effort to keep your inquisitiveness within the bounds of what is spiritually appropriate.

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Chapter Three

The Content of the Heart Encouraging tongues are the tongues we want to hear more from. These tongues speak words from Spirit-filled hearts. The encouraging tongue says, “God is with you. I believe in you.

I know all things work together for good.” We know that God will show up, we are together in this, let’s believe God. It’s a beautiful thing to be encouraging.

Filled with the Holy Spirit, we can be encouragers. We can be creative, edifying, believing communicators of life. The Word of Christ dwells in us richly. An encouraging tongue admonishes one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.

The Silver Tongue The Bible refers to this tongue as a silver tongue (Proverbs 10:20). This is a just tongue, a redemptive tongue that praises God. Its words reveal the meditation and the swiftness of hearing that goes on behind it. James 1:19 exhorts every man to be swift to hear and slow to speak.

We learn this way of speaking by being around wise people. If you want to learn how 20

to live and increase in your capacity for God, learn the Word of God, learn how to meditate on it and learn how to speak about it by speaking about it with mature believers. Where do we find these believers? In our churches. An active church life is necessary to our spiritual growth.

Spiritual maturity is more than waking up in the morning quoting Bible verses; it is waking up with a spirit of faith and love and recognizing that Jesus is with us in our families. It manifests quietness when the pressure is on.

Words from this kind of tongue are words that build up. The encouraging tongues say what God says and says it the way that God says it. Jesus said to the infirm man in John 5, “Take up your bed and walk” and the words did not just go through the air. He heard those words and he believed them, so he took up his bed and walked.

We have throne words. We have eternal words. We discern the hearts of people. We understand why they say what they say because we are spiritually awake. We praise God. What is pure, godly, virtuous, has any virtue—we think these kinds of words (Philippians 4:8).

The tongue no man can tame. It is an unruly evil full of deadly poison. At the aquarium, we see dolphins that hear and obey. We must hear and obey and let God control the content of our 21

hearts and minds. Our words come out of our hearts. We can have an authority from God. He can fill our mouths with praises. The Spirit teaches us how to speak. We know our religion is not in vain, but it has changed our lives.

Our tongues and our lives can be full of purpose, increasing in capacity. The sweetness we long for comes only from God, who gave us our new life and people all around us need it.

“Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God” (Psalm 50:23).

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

Our tongues have a lot to do with our lives.

They have a lot to do with our church, and they have a lot to do with what is going on in the world at large. The worldwide ministry of God is really affected by our new heart and also our new tongue.

There are people who have real humility and therefore with their new hearts they have control over their tongues. They know God and they resist the cursing tongue. They have been changed and have been given a new heart and a new vocabulary.

People do curse; even believers speak profanely, as the Apostle Peter did when he denied the Lord. Obscenities, profane words, and vul22

gar language come out into the open because those words are in the heart. Profanity is used to make an impact. It is a show of force, a way of showing off and accentuating an issue.

Anger isn’t the root of such speech. The problem lies in the content of the heart. We can become angry and be under the control of the Spirit. It happened with Jesus, as we read in the Gospels. The Spirit bridles our tongues and we have a vocabulary that is able to express anger without vulgarity.

We have many words that we can use. Some, however, limit their vocabularies and repeat the same words over and over. When frustrations come, they can only tap that shallow well within them and out come the curses. These people lack self control and the wisdom from God. Emotions boil, so they swear—loudly.

One of the best things about being a Christian is that the Spirit indwells us. Therefore, a force of restraint regulates what we say. Above and beyond this, there is in us now a capacity for praise and thanksgiving. Murmuring and complaining have given way to higher communication. God teaches us to be thankful people.

“The lips of the righteous feed many” (Proverbs 10:21). “…The man who heareth speaketh constantly” (Proverbs 21:28).

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People may sit down with you in a cafeteria and you are able to sit with them and say many things. We are able to talk much because we hear much. And, because we hear, we are able to say the important thing.

Why wouldn’t we be edifying or complementing? In our own hearts, we are able to see we don’t have food to feed the multitude. But Jesus says, “Feed them.” We could say to Jesus, “What are we talking about here?” Jesus would say, “You have to understand what spirit I am of. You have to understand what I think. What I believe. You have to take your proud insecure, jealous heart to the Cross and be filled with the Spirit and learn how to believe me.”

It is almost like we can believe things by saying them. Have you ever been on the edge of a complaint, but you choose not to say it? For the fun of it, you turn it around and say the opposite. We see a problem and we’d like to repeat the problem, but instead we turn it around and, by faith, we say, “This is amazing. This is going to work out great.” Yes, we are lost, we are running out of gas, and we missed an appointment, but … God is with us.

Sure, we live in reality. Still, there is an amazing authority in our tongue. Sometimes, people energize a problem because they don’t know what spirit they are of. Sometimes people can use 24

the Bible as the disciples did when they talked to Jesus. The people in Samaria weren’t receiving Him. James and John asked Jesus, “Would you like us to call fire down from heaven?” Where did they get the idea? Why, from the Bible. Elijah the prophet did it in 2 Kings. See, we may read the Bible and still not know what spirit we are of.

We can express a tongue of retaliation.

The Retaliating Tongue There is nothing as easy as firing back a statement when someone hurts you. Retaliation: You hurt me, I’ll hurt you. James 1 says the wrath of man does not bring the righteousness of God. A retaliatory tongue is returning the punishment you feel you just received. It is deliberately harming someone in revenge or response for the harm he has done.

We shouldn’t dignify negative remarks. If someone says something really negative, be quiet. Don’t feed the moment. Don’t retaliate.

Don’t let the argument escalate. Don’t unleash your emotions. Learn how to be quiet. A soft answer breaks the bone. The law of kindness is in the virtuous woman’s mouth.

It is beautiful when we live on higher ground and refuse to retaliate. We learn to pray for our persecutors because there is something deeper going on in the situation. God is with us. If we 25

keep our tongue, we have certain benefits of health. When we keep our tongue, we learn how to speak.

We could be alone and speak the truth in our hearts. Praise God, soon, we find that we are filled with the Spirit. We confess known sin and use our tongue and praise God. Psalm 22 says God inhabits the praises of his people. He lives in them. We learn how to meditate and relate to truth and to speak it to ourselves.

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Chapter Four

Right Things Said the Right Way One of the easiest traps to fall into is the trap of expressing a judgmental tongue. We make statements and we don’t realize that we are passing judgment. It happens to all of us. But we need to discern our own mouths. Is what I am about to say a breech of the spirit? Will I grieve the Spirit by saying this statement? I believe there is a place for debate, disagreement, real sword-to-sword combat with each other when the right spirit is present and pure hearts are involved. It’s good to have people around us who disagree. It’s good to have someone challenge us in a decision. Sometimes we need someone to check what we are saying. Open rebuke is better than secret love.

Critical fault finding is another matter.

Things are said by people who do not have all knowledge. They are not privy to the whole picture. And, yet, they take a piece of information and use it to create a stereotype or an embellishment. It is wrong.

Matthew 18 guides in proper confrontation.

We go to a person alone personally and say, “I 27

have to talk to you. This is what I am thinking.

Please hear me.” The spirit of humility has to be there. Galatians 6:1 makes clear that restoration is always the goal. Someone spiritual goes to confrontation without an axe to grind, goes without a jaundiced attitude, with a clear godly orientation in the spirit of humility to restore his brother. This is a person with a valuable tongue.

Most judgments come from an autobiographical viewpoint. We project our blind spots, insecurities and fears onto others. We easily take aim at splinters in another’s eye, while there is a big 2-by-4 in our own eye. We speak so often from our perspective and from our subjective self.

We speak biblically, from pure hearts, to help people. Can we help the homosexual? Yes, we can. Even though we may have a hard time with a particular kind of sin, we understand we also have sinned in every point of the law (see James 2:10). We hate sin, but we are not judgmental.

We are caring, loving, and reaching out, not talking about sin in any way other than to help. We are interested in people being changed by God’s grace.

The Danger of Doubting Tongues In Numbers, we have the story of the 12 spies who searched out the Promised Land and 28

reported back to the tribes in the wilderness.

The majority report was a given by 10 doubting tongues. “The cities are too fortified, the inhabitants too tall and too strong, and we are so small, these tongues said. The land flows with all the good things God told us about through Moses— just look at these basketball-sized grapes. But alas these things are out of our reach. We cannot take this place.”

Right there, this question should have been posed” “Excuse me sirs, are you speaking from your own heart or from God’s heart?”

Caleb said, “We are we able to take it. Let’s go NOW.” He and Joshua alone spoke with believing tongues. Their hearts full of what they had seen God do in subduing the Egyptians.

Doubting tongues, they have to be silenced.

“Excuse me, if you don’t believe, then just please be quiet. If you don’t think the dead can be raised, please be quiet. If you don’t believe that God can answer prayer, please be quiet. We have enough negativity without your disbelief. We are listening for faith. God can help our unbelief.”

We want to say in our hearts, “With God, all things are possible.” We want to live in a confession of faith. God does answer our doubts.

Thomas doubted and Jesus showed up. He was a smart guy, but Jesus upbraided him and said, “Here, put your hand in My side. You see and 29

believe; blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.”

Maybe Thomas had a hasty tongue. He heard the resurrection reports and just blurted out, “I will not believe unless I stick my fingers in the nail holes and put my hand in His side.”

He answered before he really heard the matter.

This has happened to me—to all of us I am sure.

We can be so quick with our answers. A beautiful, godly person listens without presumption.

Discernment may give him quick understanding, but he times and measures his words according to the leading of God. What I say, how I respond, what kingdom I am going to be controlled by, these are things we should cede control over to the Spirit. This would keep so many out of trouble.

Many people lie down in sorrow because of what they have sown with their tongues. Meddlesome searchers of iniquity find themselves without real friends. People just don’t want to be with them. There’s no trust.

Spirit-filled hearts know how to speak. People leave their presence and say, “Wow, I can trust those words. I am sensing an authority. I sense something from the heart. I feel encouraged.” There’s no backroom talking, no tearing down, no innuendos, no judgmental spirits, just encouragement and spiritual life.

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How valuable these hearts are in our homes.

Little boys and girls don’t hear dad and mom shouting because there is the authority of Christ over the tongues. They learn how to trust, how to love. There is no gossip. They never hear anything about the neighbors except we love them and they need our help. Let’s pray for our neighbors and bring them cookies and help them out. When they are grumpy and bitter and even demonically inspired, we with quietness and prayer give love and encouragement and wisdom. And, yet, we are careful to lock our doors and windows.

We live in reality. But we have found that our praises can take a dull day and give it sparkle.

God will honor you honestly if you order your conversation aright. God will change your life.

Take a marriage with real trouble, change the tongues and give it some time and patience and it can turn into a beautiful work of grace for God. Appreciation, love, and edification become the rule of that home.

How about soul winning in the power of the Spirit? Listening and speaking the right things the right way. I believe our church can double in size. Let’s see more people come to Jesus and discover the power that is in the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. I believe one reason why we are here is because God has been with our 31

tongues. It’s beautiful when our sentences come from God’s presence. When we learn to be Spirit-filled, we have only one interest and that is to build up and edify the reality of Christ in a dark, sinful world. It is to say to people that Jesus is with us. And, He really is.

Compassion and Courtesy “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8).

The word “pitiful” has to do with being tender-hearted, caring, tactful, and skillful. From our new heart, we speak in a considerate way, with some diplomacy, not hurting the feelings of other people. Even when I tell the truth, it can be so blunt and so unkind. We speak truth not out of anger, frustration or retaliation, but we speak with this compassionate, tender-hearted spirit.

Courteous—phillophron in the Greek text— means friendly thoughtfulness; the word is also translated as humble minded. This is how we speak in the world that we live in. We are slow to speak, but swift to hear. When we are relating to one another, we can be firm, we can be sharp, we can also be angry in the right way, but this is all in regards to the new hearts God has given us.

The context here is that we do not repay evil for evil. When someone is right in our face being 32

unkind, slandering or offending us, retaliation is not what comes to our minds. We don’t enter into railing for railing.

The Holy Spirit anoints us and in our words we are always looking for the opportunity to reinforce and encourage people, to minister grace to them, to build them up on the basis of God’s love.

If someone is offending me, and I start to react in my emotions then the Spirit quiets me. I understand James 1:19, the wrath of man does not bring about the righteousness of God. I can say, “Let’s talk tomorrow, after things cool down.” I can go for a walk if it is a family squabble. I can ask God to lead me because I want to keep the big picture of what is really happening in my life. I want to let the Word of Christ dwell in me richly, teaching and admonishing me.

Proverbs 15:1 tells us a soft answer breaks the bone. A caring, tactful, diplomatic way of respecting people’s feelings, of understanding what is going on and investing in others is the product of a Spirit-filled heart. We don’t speak out of a wound because someone hurt or disappointed us. This is a delightful way for us to live.

The reason some people get into trouble in their emotions is because of how they use their tongues to talk about themselves. Self-deprecation is no substitute for true humility. God sees it 33

and hears it and says, “I made you in my image.

I crowned you with my honor, I gave you my Son.” The Lord has no pleasure in hearing you whine about how you are not so great. That does not edify. Walk in truth, and build yourself up in the most holy faith.

We are part of the body of Christ. We belong.

We are helpers of joy. These are the questions we ask: “What can I do to help? What is your goal?

Can you tell me your vision?” The joy of God is in our homes and churches. Spirit-filled hearts do govern our tongues. Therefore, our words count when we say them. They add something sweet and honorable to a situation. They stir us to praise the One who is coming soon.

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