"It's a joke and we're just having fun" (Iris’s story

STORY DESCRIPTION

"It's a joke and we're just having fun" (Iris’s story)

My name is Iris, I am in high school and I am sharing my story on an unpleasant and traumatic experience about a “simple” post on social networks.

In January last year, a big party took place in a famous place in Bucharest, where many girls and boys from my class went. I really wanted to go too, but I had other plans made for that night. I was so upset that I couldn't go, that I wrote a selfish and hurtful post on my Instagram account, addressed to some of my colleagues who were going to this party. Instead of accepting that I can't go, I pretended I didn't want to go.

A few weeks later, a girl from my class shared this post with other colleagues. Then, my colleagues and other kids at school started saying awful things about me. Hearing this, I immediately apologized to the girls to whom I addressed the post and tried my best to make things right. They all said they understood and would not comment maliciously anymore. After about half a year, I posted a photo with me on Instagram in which I mentioned "Life is good" . A lot of people, including a boy I' ve been in a relationship with before attacked this post with really mean and rude comments about me. I was so upset that I sent a private message to the girl who seemed to be leading these comments, asking her why she was writing these ugly things and she replied by saying "it's a joke and we're just having fun" . Then she continued to write even more petty things about me and also made a post about me on her Instagram account, so I could see it. She threatened me and said "I deserved this" and that she would hurt me and broadcast it live for other people to watch. I was scared and devastated when some of my colleagues whom I thought were my friends commented on how funny she was and how annoying I was. Children from other schools that I didn't even know also participated in this story! I felt attacked and alone. My close friends tried to comfort me, but no one had the courage to actually defend me on social media. I had this horrible feeling of helplessness, shame, and loneliness, and I had the feeling that everyone hated me and talked about me from behind. Some of my friends wrote to me that they would "hang themselves" if people wrote such things about them. I was so confused and sad that I decided to tell my mother and my family. My mother contacted my school counselor who reminded us that all schools have a code of conduct that includes a cyberbullying section that all students should regard.

PUPILS AGE

SELF-REFLECTION QUESTIONS

NON-FORMAL GROUP ACTIVITIES

Then came the summer vacation and I went camping for 3 weeks without the phone, without access to the internet and social networks and I got rid of the toxic world of these networks. When I returned, I found out that our school principal contacted the mother of this girl who initiated this unpleasant and extremely traumatic situation for me. She defended her actions by showing him a screenshot of my original post written in January. Although I didn't realize it, what I had written came back to haunt me, the girl saying that this is why she decided to write those unpleasant things about me on social media.

I' ve been thinking about this for a long time and now I realize how important it is to pay attention to what you post online. I' ve learned that even though people forgive and forget, things stay on the internet forever and they can come back to haunt you later in life. I hope my story will help others understand that even if we feel like innocent victims, there are always two parts of the story. The Internet is definitely not the place to express your negative emotions and feelings towards a person or situation.

I was very hurt by this experience and I know that many of the other people involved were also hurt and upset. Recently, I met the girl who wrote all this about me. She apologized for the things she posted and we decided to move on, do our best to forget about these events, and just share the good things on social media. For anyone going through this, remember that you are not alone. Don't be afraid to ask for help and share your story, look at your own actions, and don't say negative things on the internet.

14-16 YEARS

1. What was Iris’s fault that initiated the cyberbullying? Have you ever posted angry messages on the internet? What were the consequences? 2. How different would you have reacted in Iris’s place, after the first messages received? 3. What were the effects of cyberbullying on Iris? 4. Do you think you would have felt the same way? What measures would you have taken? 5. How do you think the school counselor or principal could have prevented cyberbullying? 6. Are you agreeing with the last words of Iris: “Don't be afraid to ask for help and share your story, look at your own actions, and don't say negative things on the internet. ”? Why?

Approx. 25-30 students between 14-16 years old.

Materials: flipchart paper, markers, pens, colored crayons

Time: 55 minutes

NON-FORMAL GROUP ACTIVITIES

Instructions after reading together the story:

1. Teacher splits students into small groups of 5-6 persons and asks them to discuss for 15 minutes and to represent on a flipchart paper how many tips they can to prevent cyberbullying. 2. Each group will present the representation of the tips by designing a speaker (5 minutes each – 25 minutes total). 3. Teacher will thank all students for their involvement in finding ways to prevent cyberbullying and will conclude by selecting some of the tips he/ she consider the most relevant for the students (5 minutes). 4. At the end, the students will gather in a circle and the teacher will ask each student to say one or two words related to what is the most important for them from this activity, in terms of feelings, information, thoughts etc. (10 minutes).