Just the two oF us

Time Spent Apart Can Bring You Closer

By lIsa KatZ

When you see a truly happy couple, you just know it. They seem very comfortable with each other and whether they are smiling or holding hands, they seem content. There may even be a gentle brush of an arm as one of them moves to another room. There is a mutual respect between them that is evident to those around them. Being in this kind of a happy and loving relationship is certainly a rare treasure these days.

Outsiders may begin to wonder how this couple remains happy. We know most couples spend a large portion of their free time with one another. However, there are many couples who feel the secret to their successful marriage is having separate interests or hobbies. While they do love spending time together, they also enjoy being with friends or doing other activities separate from their partners. This also allows one to pursue an activity that the other might not have any interest in whatsoever.

Finding the balance is the key. One spouse doesn’t want to feel guilty about not including the other, and at the same time, really wants to have some time either alone or with friends. That balance comes from the quality of time spent together rather than the quantity of time together.

“Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you,” claims Maud Purcell, a licensed clinical social worker.

While every relationship is unique, those involved all strive for the same thing…happiness. For some, happiness involves spending all of their free time together. Others, however, find that spending a portion of their free time either alone or with friends can give their relationship an added positive element. What makes a relationship

her time .m

his time

work is different for different people. If, in the end, you are both truly content and happy in your relationship, then you are definitely one of the lucky couples who has found that perfect balance!

Alisa Bowman, author of “Project Happily Ever After: Saving Your Marriage When the Fairytale Falters,” explains “You don’t need to do every single thing together in order to be happy. You don’t need shared hobbies. You just need a good relationship, one that is based on mutual respect.” 

These Giggle readers have learned how to make it work!

“I promote him having his own hobbies (mountain biking, working out or surfing) so he has male bonding time. It makes him feel young and re-energized. Sometimes work and family can be stifling and I understand that.” – Mary Hazan, married 9 years (together 17 years)

“I think it is very healthy for couples to have different hobbies. As long as each respects the other’s interests and the time they need to spend doing them.” – Melanie Shore, married 24 years

Your lawyer has experience with divorce... Shouldn’t your financial advisor?

The Banks Carroll Group is dedicated to thoroughly understanding your financial needs and then aligning them with the resources to meet or exceed them. With each of them having over 22 years of experience in financial services, they offer a wealth of knowledge to help build and protect your wealth whatever stage of life you are in.

They also have additional experience and specialize in divorce-related financial matters as Certified Divorce Financial Analysts™ (CDFA™). Their combined experience in financial planning and investment management allow them to assist divorcees through this emotional and stressful time. They help identify assets and liabilities when completing financial affidavits, structure settlement options, set budgets, and perform income projections to be sure that the client knows what their financial future will be. To this end, they work with numerous divorce attorneys, insurance specialists, valuation specialists and CPA’s in an effort to make the process as seamless as possible while getting the best results. Their end goal is to give anyone having to go through a divorce, peace of mind.

Their business is built on trust, integrity & knowing the client.

Services • Divorce Financial Planning and Analysis • Financial Planning • Asset Management • Estate Planning • Retirement Planning • Insurance/Long Term Care Insurance • Lending Services/Mortgages • 529 Plans Ashley Banks is the Producing Branch Manager of the Gainesville Florida Morgan Stanley branch. She is a Certified Financial Planner™ (CFP®), a designation awarded by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. As a CFP® she has completed extensive education requirements to better understand and enhance the financial planning process. Additionally, Ashley is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA™) which specifically focuses on the financial side of divorce. These two combinations allow for her to be a complete resource for individuals needing financial direction before, during and after a divorce. Ashley is a graduate of the University of Florida with a major in Finance.

Donna Carroll is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA™). Her focus is on divorce financial strategies, retirement solutions and overall financial planning. Her passion is empowering & educating women about their financial future. The process begins with a thorough understanding of the client’s current situation and major life events and their impact. We work with the clients to develop specific strategies for income, overall budgeting and lifetime goals. This strategy results in providing the client with an asset allocation strategy that is customized to match the client’s goals and objectives. Donna’s years of experience in this industry have allowed her to witness many market cycles and how to avoid mistakes based on emotions and help clients understand their situation and better know what to expect.

They are both very involved in the Gainesville community, serving on the Board of the Boys & Girls Clubs of Alachua County, members of Children’s Home Society Auxiliary Board, Women Linked In, Women’s Giving Circle, GFWC Gainesville Woman’s Club. Members of Association of Divorce Financial Planners & Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts.

Ashley Banks, CFP®, CDFA™ Branch Manager Financial Advisor ashley.banks@morganstanley.com

Donna Carroll, CDFA™ Financial Advisor donna.carroll@morganstanley.com

Banks Carroll Group at Morgan Stanley

4965 NW 8th Avenue • Gainesville, FL 32605 352-332-9300 www.morganstanley.com/fa/bankscarrollgroup.com

interactive app! parent The Adventures of Ash & ollie: ScreenTime

Parents now have a helping hand in monitoring their children’s online and offl ine hours with the release of "The Adventures of Ash & ollie: ScreenTime," yummico’s new interactive storybook written by feature fi lmmaker Caroline Baron ("Capote") and illustrated by Traci Paige Johnson (creator of "Blue’s Clues"). In the story, two mischievous brothers are learning how to balance their time between chores, exploring the outdoors and using a device. The Photo Album feature encourages parents to record how kids are spending time off the screen, while in-app messaging allows parents and kiddos to send each other fun messages.

What would you do if...

you didn’t approve of the purchase your child wanted to make with his own earned money?

"I would explain to her the reason I disapprove and then steer her toward something I did approve of, and maybe something that is a better bargain for her money also." Mindi Slone, Mommy of 1

"As long as it didn't go against our family's "rules," I would allow it anyway. with six kids in this household there is bound to be some disagreement and need for compromise." Barbara williams, Mommy of 6