Long live the bling

from Glebe Report: June 2023

The Glebe according to

By Douglas Parker

Well, that splendacious brocade, the coronation of King Charles III, has now been relegated to the annals of history. Many of you, I imagine, watched the coronation ceremony, sacrificing sleep to indulge in every second of it. For some reason, I wanted to watch the ceremony live rather than taped, fooling myself into pretending that I was actually there. I chose the BBC because it is deeply steeped in the ancient traditions and symbolism upon which regality rests; the BEEB is also adept at identifying the privileged and dolled-up guests as they entered the magnificent Westminster Abbey. It was an ideal occasion for celebrity gawking even through the filter of the television screen. Vicariously, we all had an opportunity to be there.

During the ceremony, the network wisely knew when to stay quiet, unlike other networks who often seem to think that constant yacking, even over magnificent and magisterial music, compensates for what they don’t know.

This ancient and sacred ritual afforded Charles and Camilla permission to shine above all else amidst an eye-blurring glister of gold, crowns, precious gems and emotive poetic language and wonderful music. No occasion on this day for scene-stealing thanks to careful camera work; no need to focus on the prodigal and disgruntled child once we saw him enter the Abbey. The BEEB happily spared us any migraine-inducing commentary on that regal and tawdry soap; Meghan was home babysitting the kids and busy making Archie’s birthday cake. The Duke of York got short shrift too. From all accounts, the disgraced duke has a certain familiarity with women’s undergarments, which may explain why the monarch allowed him to don his Knight of the Garter regalia. Oh yes, up and persistent shortages, pundits speculate Chubb may raise taxes. Meanwhile, GiddyPigs.com is making record profits, sending out droves of voracious guinea pigs to mow Glebe lawns and parks with zero overhead and several federal grants for green jobs. “We mow and fertilize as we go. We are the green future,” offered Zeus, in a rare interview last week from the emergency room, where he was himself recuperating from bloat.

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Dr. Jill was there as well, but husband Joe was not. After all, Charles is not Biden’s king – that was settled centuries ago – nor is he, apparently, the king of the “Not My King” crowd, who made their opposition clear throughout coronation day, trying to simulate nature by raining on the King’s parade.

Some of you have heard that Charles has the big shoes of his tiny mom to fill. My hope is that Charles will fill his own shoes; based upon his words and actions at this early stage in his reign, he might be on the right track. But as a man committed to farming, he will know that as King, he will have a tough row to hoe.

Over 70 years, his mom, the Queen, carried out yeoman service, if by service you mean showing up. Dutifully, she attended everything she felt she was supposed to, even doing her royal duty by showing up heroically, clearly dying, to meet Liz Truss. Charles will never match his mother’s showing-up record unless he lives to be 140. Some time ago, Charles, perhaps in a moment of inappropriate candour, claimed that in her relationship with him, the Queen was “not indifferent so much as detached.” For me, that phrase might well capture the Queen’s relationship with her kingdom. She was “there” wherever “there” was, but was she ever wholly there?

My sense is that Charles will have learned a lot from both his mother and father. Son to a “detached” mother, linguistically brutalized by a macho father who saw his son as weedy, physically not up to it and lachrymose. Philip sent him off to Gordonstoun boarding school for five years where linguistic brutality was replaced by physical beatings. Several of those years must have been an annus horribilis for the boy who loved nature, literature and music. Should such an upbringing be foisted on a child today, social services would come knocking. And there were other soul-lacerating experiences as well, not least a coercive and ultimately corrosive marriage. When recently Charles appealed to his sons “not to make my final years a misery,” he may have known of what he spoke.

The early days of Charles’s reign are decidedly different from his mother’s. He is out among his people, touching them, allowing them to touch him, laughing and joking with them, encouraging his wife and family to press the flesh as well. Perhaps all of this is performative, but perhaps it isn’t. He is very much engaged with the real world: his passions are organic farming, the environment, architecture, overpopulation and so on. Maybe he’ll be encouraged to shut up or tone it down. I hope he doesn’t. The challenges he faces are enormous, maybe even impossible. The Brits seem to want a monarchy that is simultaneously both like them on some days and not like them on others. Good luck threading that needle, Your Majesty. If anyone can do it, I believe Charles can because he’s lived those two lives in his own time. And being a lover of Shakespeare, he is no doubt aware of the words that the bard’s Henry IV uttered: “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.”

Douglas Parker is a 30-year Glebe resident with an interest in English Reformation literature, history and theology. He also has a penchant for wry commentary on life in the here and now.

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Community Connections

ABBOTSFORD SENIOR COMMUNITY CENTRE

(950 Bank St.) is unable to collect donations of books, art, jewelry, elegant treasures or flea market items at this time. We are bursting at the seams with donations that were so graciously donated to us for our Glebe Garage Sale fundraiser in May. Volunteers who sort, price and sell donations will take a break over the summer, and we will start collecting again in the fall. Thank you for your generous contributions.

ABBOTSFORD SENIOR COMMUNITY CENTRE

(950 Bank St.) Stay tuned for the Summer Program Guide coming out in mid-June. In addition, please note that throughout the summer, our Atrium Book Store will be open, and people will be welcome in the Boutique to shop for good quality ladies clothing, handmade crafts and teddy bears,

ART IN THE PARK The New Art Festival is looking for volunteers to help on the weekend of June 10-11. If you would like to volunteer, contact us at thenewartfestival@gmail.com

BHAT BOY speaks about his art at the Sunnyside Library, Sat., June 17, 1 p.m. Free lemonade!

DECIBELLES CHOIR FOR WOMEN ANNOUN-

CES FIRST LIVE CONCERT Sat., June 17, 7 p.m. (doors open 6.30 p.m.), Rideau Park United Church, 2203 Alta Vista Dr. DeciBelles Choir for Women will deliver its first live concert under the leadership of local musician Jody Benjamin. The 60+ member choir performs an eclectic repertoire of popular music, including songs of local singer-songwriters such as Lynn Miles and Jody Benjamin. Proceeds from the concert will support the Ottawa Ukrainian Children’s Choir who will open the second act. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased in advance from choir

WHERE TO FIND THE Glebe Report

In addition to free home delivery and at newspaper boxes on Bank Street, you can find copies of the Glebe Report at:

Abbas Grocery

Abbotsford House

Black Squirrel

Bloomfields Flowers

Bridgehead 1117 Bank St.

Capital Home Hardware

Clocktower Pub

Douvris Martial Arts

Ernesto’s Barber Shop

Escape Clothing

Feleena’s Mexican Café

Fourth Avenue Wine Bar

Glebe Apothecary

Glebe Central Pub

Glebe Community Centre

Glebe Meat Market

Glebe Physiotherapy

Glebe Tailoring

Goldart Jewellery Studio

Happy Goat Coffee

Hillary's Cleaners

Hogan’s Food Store

Ichiban Bakery

Irene’s Pub

Isabella Pizza

Kettleman’s members and at the door. For more information about the choir, which is open to new members, visit decibelles.choirgenius.com

GLEBE ART IN OUR GARDENS AND STUDIO

TOUR 2023 July 8-9, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Come out to support local artists in lovely garden settings. Site maps available in Bank St. shops and the community centre or visit our website www. glebearttour.ca for more information.

The HNATYSHYN FOUNDATION concert to rebuild the arts in Ukraine! For its 20th anniversary, the Hnatyshyn Foundation is raising funds to help restore or rebuild an arts facility in Ukraine. Artists from across Canada and a group from Kyiv will perform in a concert followed by a silent auction with food and drinks. The concert takes place June 25 at Carleton Dominion-Chalmers Centre from 6-10 p.m. Tickets required; donations encouraged! www.rjhfgala.com

HOUSE OF PAINT URBAN ARTS FESTIVAL 20th anniversary festival, August 11–13, 2023 under the Dunbar Bridge over Bronson, and nearby Brewer Park. Spoken word, hip-hop, dance battles, DJs, emcees, graffiti, muralism, good vibes. houseofpaint.ca

MOMS PARTY – CELEBRATE GRADUATION

Are you a Glebe Mom with kids born in 2005 who went to First Avenue, Mutchmor or Corpus Christi? If so, come party with us to celebrate graduation! Thursday June 15th 7:30-10:00 p.m.! Join us at 4th Avenue Wine Bar. A toast to all your hard work and see old friends! Info: laurieleemaclean@gmail.com or barbparkes2@gmail.com

PROBUS Ottawa is welcoming new members from the Glebe and environs. Join your fellow retirees, near retirees and want-to-be retirees for interesting speakers and discussions, not to mention relaxed socializing. See our website: www.probusoav.ca for more detailed information about the club and its activities as well as contact points, membership information, and meeting location. We will be meeting on Wed., June 28 for a presentation from the Canadian Geographic magazine.

2023 STORIES AT THE SOLSTICE – A CELEBRATION OF SUMMER IN STORIES & SONG This is a fundraiser for the Stephen Lewis Grandmothers Campaign, supporting grandmothers and children affected by the HIV-AIDS epidemic as well as COVID-19, drought and food insecurity. Presented by One World Grannies & Unitarian Go Gos, Wed., June 21, 6:15 p.m. at First Unitarian Church, 30 Cleary Ave. Tickets $30. Available on Eventbrite or 613-864-6442.

AVAILABLE

HOUSESITTING IN THE GLEBE! Leaving town for an extended period of time to vacation or just to the cottage and need a HOUSESITTER to take care of a beloved pet, water plants, pick up mail and maintain the home, garden, shovel snow, etc.? I am a young lady who studies theology/bible at home with several years of recent HOUSESITTING experience in the GLEBE. I have excellent references from many family homes in the Glebe I have cared for over the last five years. I really enjoy taking care of animals, especially puppies!! Please contact Sarah at mayyouhope@gmail.com or 613-682-0602.

FOUND

YELLOW BIKE On Saturday morning, May 20 someone dropped off a sturdy yellow bike in our laneway on Third Avenue and then disappeared through our backyard. Anyone with information as to ownership or other pertinent details, please contact Randal at 613-234-2233.

Kunstadt Sports

Lansdowne Dental

Last Train to Delhi

LCBO Lansdowne

Little Victories Coffee

Loblaws

Marble Slab Creamery

Mayfair Theatre

McKeen Metro Glebe

Nicastro

Oat Couture

Octopus Books