globetrotter
October 2017
(no)fear
Editor’s
Note
Fear is one of our most primal instincts, when we feel uncertain or insecure we experience fear. But, fear does not always have to be an indication of danger. Sometimes fear can spell the opportunity for growth and learning.
Isabelle Brooking
Editor of Globetrotter Magazine
i
In this edition of Globetrotter we explore all the different meanings and definitions fear can take on. Everything from fear of losing your cultural identity to a story about Fear herself. We hope you enjoy this edition as much as we enjoyed writing it.
The Contributors Martina Dossena
Lisa Pieth
Natasya Kan
Aubrey Adinata
Kackar Ozkaya
Phyllis Fercho
Sean Hughes
Mario Ciubotaru
Anna Churova
Kimberly Wong
Midori Ueda
Edith Brooks
not in the photos : Sinuhe Malaga, Angel, Noa vann den Berg, Pham Hoang Dieu An, Allison Heidrich.
ii
Article
Fear the Bubble Take Control Before They Control You 1-4
Article
Spirit Realm 5-8
CONTENT
Article
iii
Fear & Loathing on the Political Stage 9-10
Article
What If... Article
11-12
Fear of Losing My Cultural Identity Poem
Fear of Losing My Religious Identity 13-16
Article
Fear Within Multiculturalism 17-18
Article
A Lost 20-something No Fear of Growing Up as an Adult 19-20
Short Story
Do you want to be a friend of Fear ? 21-24 Article
Just Act Natural 25-26
Article
Are you afraid of fitting in ? 27-30 iv
A simple like on Facebook, a Google search, watching a short clip on Instagram while scrolling through your endless feed – simple things which have become part of our daily lives. What we see on our screens are pretty pictures, our friends talking about their holidays, and a constant update on the latest fake news. What we don’t see is the bubble we are put in. A dangerous bubble of information, keeping us away from things we supposedly shouldn’t know or shouldn’t care about.
Fear the
trol You Con ey Th
bble Bu
Take Control B efo re
The world wide web is ever expanding and each day, the information we put out there adds up. Without realizing, we are the creators of our own little online bubbles. Suddenly, Facebook knows that you need to buy a new book for university, it knows that you are planning a trip to Spain, it knows which parties you are likely to go to, it knows the people you might have met. Facebook knows a lot. And then Google jumps in, it sees your bubble and knows how to spin it around in the online web of craziness. You get to see what Google wants you to see. You get to read the articles Google wants you to r e a d. Google decides what your online reality looks like. Bubbles are caused by the f a c t that services are person alized. Facebook's al gori t hm shows you posts based on yo u r l i k e history,
and hides what it believes you won't like. This may be very convenient when it comes to memes or cute cat videos, but when it comes to news and valuable information, it’s dangerous. Same is true for Google. The results for a search depend on you, your friend will not get the same output as you. Here’s a simple example: If you are a fan of horses and you search for "mustang", you will be presented interesting information on the majestic animals. If you are more interested in cars, on the other hand, your screen will be covered in the newest models and specs.
Realize the Dangers The dangers might not be obvious from the inside of your bubble, especially when you get great suggestions for you next online purchase. So let’s take a step back to understand how it affects you and the people around you. You must understand: it is not about the information you get, but about the information that stays invisible, as Eli Pariser pointed out in his TED Talk. 1. Polarizing Society The fact that people all over the world have different perspectives and
spices up life. But what if these differences go too far? So far, that it develops into an ignorance towards different ways of thinking? The increasingly filtered information we receive is creating a fragmented society in which people seem to drive further and further apart, like two opposing magnets. 2. Narrow Mindedness Your bubble is packed with things you like. In fact, it is so packed that there is no space for opposing opinions, different perspectives or new ideas. Whatever you believe to be true, will be proven to you by articles that support your opinion. This can be explained with a simple example: Think of the last time you had a discussion about politics with
2
your friend. How long did it take for one of you to whip out the smartphone to prove your point? You google the topic and right there is the article you read just last week. You were right. And suddenly, your friend does the same thing. He was also right. Trapped in the bubble of self-interest, you become increasingly narrow
minded which will soon be seen in your stubbornness when arguing. No space for things you don’t like. How to escape the Bubble Luckily, we don’t have to wait for the internet to make more ethical decisions for us. There are a few simple changes you can make to get out of the dark bubble:
DuckDuckGo
DuckDuckGo is a search engine, similar to Google. However, DuckDuckGo does not track you. That means that searches are not tailored to you - it just shows the most accurate results for that search. It even has some features that Google does not have - like “bangs” - if you append for example !w to your search, you will be directed to the relevant Wikipedia article.
Challenge Google and Yourself
Use the power of the internet to your advantage: challenge Google by challenging yourself. Search for the opposing position, search for things you don’t support, spark your interest for things you don’t like and see how your bubble slowly disappears.
3
Erase your Fingerprint
Your digital identity can easily be linked to your specific device. A website can detect variables such as the fonts you have installed, your browser version, your operating system and many other things. By combining all of that data, a website can easily track a device across different sessions.You can test if your fingerprint is unique or not on website applications such as Panopticlick. If you want to counter this, you can install a browser extension such as Privacy Badger to mix in with the crowd.
Be aware
Lastly, be aware of the information that is invisible to you and the dangers you face. Try to take a step back every now and then to not get trapped.
Find your way to break through the dark walls of filtered information and escape the danger of a narrow, stubborn mind. Open your eyes and look beyond – it’s time to be curious and critical. Pop your bubble! Kackar Ozkaya & Allison Heidrich
4
Spirit Realm Noa van den Berg & Mario Ciubotaru
It’s Easter morning in the 16th treacherous waters. He did not want to hear it. century. It was a race to get to India first. He sailed from the harbor and spoke words The infamous captain Decker of a VOC that doomed them all. ship stood at the bow of his ship as the “God or the devil… I’ll sail wind began to howl and the sea became around this cape, even if I have unruly. to sail till my last judgment.” The crew and captain Decker’s In spite of his words, the devil took wife pleaded with him to not sail out. It control of the ship. It is said that the ship has was too dangerous.Too easy to die on the been sailing around the cape ever since. On
days where the weather is stormy and a veil of rain and mist and wind falls down to the water it is said that people can see the ship sailing in the distance. In some cases people have been hailed by the captain and his unruly crew.The ship glowing with a hellish light.They are given letters to deliver to land or loved ones. Only back home do they realize that the letters are written to people long gone. It scares them to know that what was once only a myth is now true. They’ve been hailed by a ghost ship that will sail forever. Even now, men and women are scared to sail in that spot in poor conditions. All sailors hear of the folklore. And most sailors even those with a common sense like me are scared of it. I have a right to be scared. Sightings have happened even in the last century of people claiming to have seen the boat. Like a German U-ship in 1941. Scientist say that it is a mirage but even I doubt it after so many people have claimed the rumors true. In 1880 even prince George of England and thirteen men out of his crew have claimed to see it sailing from the Australian coast. Real or not I advise you to be careful sailing in bad weather at the spot that the captain has once hailed the devil and doomed himself.
Ouija is a flat board marked with the letters of the alphabet, the numbers 0–9, the words "yes", "no", "hello" (occasionally), and "goodbye", along with various symbols and graphics. It uses a small heart-shaped piece of wood or plastic called a planchette. Participants place their fingers on
the planchette, and it is moved about the board to spell out words. Ouija board is a tool used by some people to talk with the spirits from “the other” side. It is believed to be a portal to the spirit world which can be used by the entities to come in our world too.
The 3 most important rules for this “game” are: 1)Never utilize the Ouija Board alone! 2)Never utilize it in a graveyard! 3)Always say “good bye” after you finished to asking all of your question The first rule is meant to protect you, if you are alone, the spirits will consider you weak and they will try to possess you. The second rule plays the role of a warning because a graveyard is filled with negative energy that gives power to the evil spirits. And the last rule is meant to remind you to say “good bye” in order to close the portal to the other world, otherwise the spirits will be free to come in this world. Ouija also has 3 forbidden questions: you are not allowed to ask about God, when you are going to die, and where the gold is buried. Several Christian groups stated that “the Ouija board is far from harmless, as it is a form of divination”, which means seeking information from supernatural sources. They also believe that the Ouija board reveals information which should
7
only be in God’s hands and because of this, it is a tool of Satan. Despite religious criticism and the obvious fact that it’s dangerous to play this game,
Novel Written from the Ouija Board was dictated by Mark Twain's spirit through the use of a Ouija board after his death; Poet James Merrill used a Ouija board for years and even encouraged entrance of spirits into his body. Before he died, he said people must not use Ouija boards; and Joshua Tucker, at his murder trial his mother insisted that he had carried out the murders while
people still utilize this to contact the spirit world. Some examples of people who used it and got influenced by this tool are Emily Grant Hutchings who claimed that her novel Jap Herron: A
possessed by the Devil, who found him when he was using a Ouija board. The spirit world is a very dangerous place that is meant to remain secret for the living, but, even in spite of this, people still overcome their fear of the unknown and they are still trying to discover the mysteries of the other world.
8
Since the very emergence of politics, strategies of fear mongering, threats and various scare tactics have been employed to keep populations in check all over the globe. They are a collection of mostly baseless manipulation techniques to enable politicians and monarchs to further their vested interests, whether the goal is to consolidate power over their own systems or to expand their sphere of influence. This tradition has persevered through to the modern ages, where preying on the fears of people remain an effective strategy. Skeptical? Take a look at the most commonly used key terms by the modern media: terrorism, crime, violence, u n e m-
ployment. Still not sure? Take a look at the twitter feed of the most powerful man in the world. Trump is a name that has provoked debate in every environment. It seems that every time he is mentioned, another fear tactic is taking place. Putting a face on intangible fears, such as unemployment or terrorism, allows him to have a stronger grasp on fearful citizens, whose brain is a playground for his political campaign. Unemployment now possesses the face of a Mexican immigrant; terrorism takes the image of Islam. Whether we are talking about the Great Wall of Mexico, the Paris Climate Agreement, the American Free Trade Agreement or The North Korea problem, the emotions projected on the public
&
R R G G A A N N E E FF AATTHHII LLOO
t don' e l p peo This i “The
remain the same: insecurity, fear and anger. What is the result of all this theatrical political arm flailing? Whether Erdogan pulls a coup, Duterte pushes death warrants or Kim Jong Un tests ICBMs, the consequences of ongoing issues continue to be subject to speculation; but the methods have been distilled and developed over thousands of years of political discourse. Veering away from the most egregious examples of fear mongering (looking at you, Kim Jong Un), and turning the spotlight towards first world fully developed democratic states, we find fear right at home in the oldest political systems. The United Kingdom is ripe for analysis when it comes to propaganda of fear. In one example, Vote Leave campaigners smeared xenophobic propaganda upon billboards and buses, threateni-
ng the voters with hordes of refugees. In another, Prime Minister May and the House of Commons passed Investigatory Powers Bill, under the guise of protecting the public from terrorism. In what world, do we – the public, agree to give up our freedom in exchange for security? The answer can only be one in which we are all controlled by fear at the most basic level. Martina Dossena & Sinhue Malaga
E E G G A A T T S S L L A A C C I I T T I I LL O O P P EE H H T T N N O O G
ers.
ead the l
f ing o , d d i the b attacked o t t g h roug are bein and b e ays b em they riotism w l a h at n y ca is tell t ack of p ger. e h t but ve to do ts for l to dan y.” , r a tr ha ifis try tw wan All you the pac he coun ery coun ce ev 6 sy. gt is ea denoun exposin same in ing 194 for ks the nn Gor and a or It w – Herm
what if..
What if you turned the page and just didn’t read this? What if I told you that it took me three days to write down the first sentence of this article? What if “what if” is just another “what if”?
Do you know that feeling when you are really good at something? That confidence boost you get every time you do it, it becomes natural and it becomes easy. Then, there’s the feeling you get when you just suck at something. For me, that’s how it is with non-academic writing. Give me an assignment that I have to write in an academic style, and I’m cool with that. But, ask me to write a cool blog post, my level of confidence drops immediately. A rush of self-doubt courses through my veins, and the feeling of cold reality mixed with uncertainty, paralyses me.
11
This is how I felt when I decided to write for the Globetrotter. Sadly, I used to let my fear win over the excitement. But as you can see, something has changed. Even though people might or will turn the page without reading my article, I am now writing it. And I actually feel pretty damn good about it, albeit still scared. You’re wondering what I changed my mind? Well, I had an epiphany. I was taking a shower when I suddenly realised, that all of this: it’s just in my head. Of course, I could have made it easy for myself. I could have blamed
society for making me feel like I was going to be judged. And that this was where my fear of writing, and exposing my thoughts stems from. But that’s not the core of the problem. The core of the problem is, I am scared of the unknown. I am scared of the uncertainty which the future inevitably brings with it, including all reactions of others to the actions I take. In the end, I am simply scared of my own “what ifs”. So, what if I now told you, that your “what if ” was also just another “what if ” constructed by your own mind- and that it is factually based on nothing as we simply cannot predict the future? This means that all my negative feelings, such as lower self-esteem, self-doubt or uncertainty are created by non other than myself. Once I had realised that, I scented another challenge. The challenge to pop my own “what if ”-bubble of uncertainty and turn the whole dilemma into a game. I am not saying that I am not scared anymore. Yet, I’ve come up with a simple five-step-strategy of how to embrace the uncertainty instead of missing a chance to develop myself.
Here’s how I do it: Recognise that there’re lots of negative “what ifs” bubbling up in your mind. Visualise the “what if ”-bubbles as actual bubbles around you. Imagine yourself popping the negative “what if they don’t like my writing?” bubbles. Trust me, it’s fun! Replace it with sassy “what if people can learn something from my article?” bubbles. Keep on popping the bad bubbles and surround yourself with the good ones.
1 2 3 4 5
I know it might sound silly at first, however, if you are open to try out something that might not only challenge you, but also requires creativity, you will see results. I promise! To be honest, I would have never thought that my solution to my fear of writing would lay in bubble-popping. But here we are. For me, it worked and that’s why I share this peculiar idea with everyone.
Phyllis Fercho & Aubrey Adinata
12
fear of
losing my
cultural identity
“ Embrace change , love results.� That is the phrase I saw near the Rotterdam Central Station when I was on my way to visit my friend’s house. It was still only the second month of studying at the Hague University of Applied Sciences, and I was still panicking about how to adjust to a new life.
13
From my point of view, while some people fully convert into local residents of a foreign country, others fail to socially integrate and stick to the identity they formed at their home countries. Still though, I believe that no one should be pessimistic of losing or changing her identity. I realized that it is actual
ly not ‘losing’, but a process of incorporating new identity into the old identity. Every single moment in the first year was a continuous conflict between myself shaped in Japan and myself developing in the Dutch student life. For instance, the noise students make during the exam extremely annoyed me when they slam the door to go out the classroom. They seemed not to be interested in caring about their sound which might affect the concentration of other students. As far as my school teachers in Japan constantly taught us that we should fully develop the sense of a high context culture, meaning that everyone should care about others’ feelings whether or not they express complaints regardless of visibility. This lesson has been tattooed into my identity. However, it seemed that almost no one cared about others’ feelings unless they publicly expressed their complaints. Moreover, almost no one will appreciate the value of high context culture. I gradually realized that my value concerning
caring for others was solely a self-satisfying act. Partly, I assume that I have experienced a variety of team sports before, I tend to care more about the achievements of the group than the satisfaction of individuals. This may be a universal culture, but also a thing which Japanese education encourage to do so. I lived in a share accommodation with several roommates, and I almost always sticked to the house rules, clean plates and dishes whenever I finished using them, and especially paid attention to the noise. These behaviours were all based on my notion that all roommates should maintain the hygiene of the house in order to shape a harmonious atmosphere in which everyone will be satisfied. However, not all roommates followed the house rules in sake of pursuing their own individual conformity rather than shaping a harmonious atmosphere at the house. Having had so many internal conflicts as to how
14
extent should I keep sticking to my value shaped in Japan, I have determined to gradually shift to a Dutch way might mean the abandonment of my path in Japan.It was a similar feeling as if your religion says not to drink alcohol but you start to drink in public. I felt as if I am betraying for my grandmother and old school teachers who partly made me who I am. Yet, I thought
it is not equivalent as to abandon my developed myself in Japan as embrace myself being changed. I felt I should accept the combination of me grew up in Japan and me changed in the Netherlands. After this decision, I feel much relaxed and not be bothered anymore. I will continuously embrace changing myself. And I won’t be afraid.
Midori Ueda
losing my religion identity . Isabelle Brooking
I sit between two chairs. Cold and hard. Here and there. I sit. Like the sorting hat, it never quite fits. Leaving me undecided. Who am I? Who do I belong to? Where do I look to find my people? I sit between two chairs. Cold and hard. Here and there. I sit. I wonder. I wonder who I am. Can I simply be me? What do two passports mean? More stamps? Two versions of myself ?
15
Unable to slip into either identity completely. Neither fits me like that soft ratty sweater. I sit between two chairs. Both call my name, but neither welcome me with open arms. I sit between two chairs. Cold and hard. Here and there. I sit between two chairs. Am I Christmas or am I Weihnachten? I sit between two chairs. Am I more my Mama or am I more my Dad? I sit between two chairs. Am I German or am I American? I sit between two chairs. Cold and hard. Here and there.
16
FEAR WITHIN MULTICULTURALISM Everyone deals with fears, as exchange and international students, often our largest fear is leaving our homes and coming to an entirely new country. Facing others with completely different mindsets and trying to find common ground, all while dealing with a new environment can be nerve wracking. Everyone has their own fears, but sometimes the fear of living abroad is what we have in common, and the basis on which we can gather together and gain a better understanding of other cultures. More than the average student, international and exchange students deal with a constant level of intercultural communication stress when working with others. As new students in a completely new country, one of the most common fears is not knowing how exactly to communicate with those around you; just as Anna from Russia said, “I was afraid
that the Netherlands wasn’t an English-speaking country, and that I wouldn’t be able to understand anyone”. The fear of isolation and cultural misunderstandings can affect how we approach others. It can be hard for some students to communicate with each other, especially when they are generally shy, just as Alissa from Norway, “I was mostly concerned about not [making] any friends”. In addition to making and finding friends while here, Alissa was worried about the cultural clashes she might experience within her Dutch boyfriend’s family. While these are often commonly shared fears, they are rarely spoken about or expressed to other students.
When faced with a daunting and new cultural experience, we often allow ourselves to stay within our familiar cultural bubble. Rather than pushing ourselves and working to conquer our fears and unfounded ideas, many find it easier to be around their fellow countrymen most of the time. This is easily understood as many don’t always know how to handle interacting with someone of a completely different mindset. Not knowing whether what we are saying could offend someone else or what they think of us, can deter what are typically mindless interactions. Zimbabwean student, Mutsa says, “I think we are scared of talking about them is because we fear people’s reaction and perception of us… [but
often] it’s best to get someone who isn’t of the same background because they have an open mind, whereas someone of the same cultural background would approach your issue with certain expectations.” Perhaps, the best way to overcome our fears of what others will think and how to talk to those from other cultures by allowing ourselves to be more open about our fears. Learning in such a multicultural environment can really help to broaden our perspective, but only if we are willing to step out of our comfort zone.
Anastasia Kan & Edith Brooks
“I feel like fears hold so much power over you if you don’t talk about them” - Mutsa
A lost 20-something No fear of growing up as an adult Have you ever scrolled through your Photo Booth pictures, or read your old texts messages and realized how much you have changed in these past few years? You will probably feel embarrassed or abased by the “past version of you,” wondering “why would I say something weird and stupid like these?” or “When did I take these pictures? I don’t remember I wearing a nose ring wearing my hair in a braid before.” I did, I have changed a lot in these three years. Three years ago, I didn’t expect that I could stay in a host family in Auckland, New Zealand. I didn’t expect that I could come all the long way from Hong Kong to The Netherlands for an exchange program, I didn’t expect that I could have a chance to travel across Europe. Admit it, we are all 20 something, the age of confusion, often with a mix of perplexity and ambiguity. According to clinical psychologist Meg Jay, “30s is not the new
20s”. She acclaimed that our 20s is the most critical and crucial period of our life. 80 percent of our life’s most defining moments will be completed by the age of 35. Graduating, starting a career, moving away from your parents, finding true love, and hopefully getting married and building a family. These seem to be the perfect adult life. As we grow up, our adult responsibilities pile up and the struggles go on. Here are some tips for you to get ready of your 20s. 1.Take up challenges, find your true passion and invest your identity capital Being a Millennial can be wildly distorting and distracting, because often, we are so engrossed in social media and the Internet that we forget to commit to the things we are truly passionate about. We can spend hours just scrolling through Instagram feeds and Snapchat stories without a purpose. If you are still floundering about what
your true passion or goals are, don’t worry. You can take up as many challenges as you can in college, diving in endless possibility and unleash your hidden potential. Everyone has their own strengths, skill sets and personalities. At the end, you might find that you are good at Photoshop editing, filming and shooting, designing products etc. So take the time to accept more challenges, discover your niche and invest your identity capital now! 2. Double thinking your action It might be cliche, right? But first impression matters. Every words we say, every decision we make, every action we take, reflects upon who we are as a person. You should weigh the consequences of how your actions and words might influence others. After all, we don’t want to gain a bad reputation, right? 3.Relationships are fragile, mostly short-termed and seldom long-lasting.
“Friends come and go.” — It is a brutal and uncomfortable truth that everyone has to deal with in their adulthood. As you grow older, your network spreads out, you may have friends in the college, colleagues in the workplace, teammates in a soccer team. You loose touch, meet new people and the cycle continues. The duration of friendship doesn’t define its worth, rather, every person that you encounter teach you a lesson and help you to know yourself better. “Life makes little sense, and the more we grow the less sense it will make.” So take as many chances as you can now, as it is going to be a fruitful and uplifting journey for you to transform into a more mature and better individual. Stay calm and embrace your adulthood, look forward and you’ll be amazed how far you have gone at the end. There is no turning back! KimberlyWong
n e i r f a e
Do
b o t t n a w u yo
The spotlights were sparkling, a mixture of beer pong sounds and the pop music was loud enough to feel as if you hearts were beating with the same speed. It was a normal Friday night party in one of the student buildings where everyone knew each other. People were dancing and laughing loudly. Girls were dressing up and putting lipstick on. Beers were being opened, Wine was pouring into cheap plastic cups, and shots were making the rounds. All of a sudden, the spotlights went down, and the music stopped. People could barely see each other while a girl named Fear entered the
21
room. She was wearing a black long dress which suited her grey curly hair. She looked around with her deep blue eyes, and began to hug and kiss everyone as it as the most normal thing in the world. See the thing was: No one actually invited her, so there was a weird atmosphere hanging in the air with all the laughters, fun and chatting that happened before. As she was walking to her friend Eric, who told her that she could just swing by, people were staring, whispering and wondering what she was doing here. Fear noticed it, but she didn’t care. She start asking her friend Eric about the final exams next week. Eric suddenly felt a bit tense, and Fear noticed the worry in his eyes. He tried to avoid eye contact with her, but Fear started to express all
f o d n
? r Fea
of Eric’s worries as if she could read his m i n d. “This is a very important exam, isn’t it? I heard that so many people are now working very hard to prepare for it. Fortunately, I don’t have to take that exam!” Eric raised his left eyebrow and said, “Wow lucky you. Well, I am actually a bit worried too, but you know life is not always easy. We just have to face the reality, and next time I should start to prepare sooner.” Fear burst out laughing and said, “You are too naive!”. Eric sipped his beer and said, “It’s alright, I am confident that I can overcome the difficulties in my life, it’s a challenge for me making, which is helping me to grow up. Come on! Let’s just have fun tonight!.” The spotlights were on again, and Eric disappeared into the dancing crowd pulling her with him. He knew that she could be exhausting at times and that a lot of people were not necessarily a fan of
her, but she was still the friend who was the most honest with him. The smell of sweat and beer was in the air. Everyone had red cheeks because the room was heating up with all the dancing bodies. That was when Fear decided to get a refill, so she walked to the fridge to get another beer. A beautiful brunette girl was leaning against the fridge and Fear recognized that it was Marly, a girl from her course. As she asked her if she could step aside to open the fridge, she heard that Marly was talking to her friends about that she is worrying that her boyfriend Chad is cheating on her. Fear couldn't hold it and said, “Well, I don’t want to be rude but I’ve heard that he is in touch with some other girls. I would be a bit careful if I were you. I mean you never know, maybe he is already seeing another girl? Maybe he is already texting with other girls ? Maybe that is the reason why he is not replying immediately?” Marly stared at her plastic cup filled with cheap wine from the supermarket. She was already tipsy and getting angry about the fact that a stranger was trying to tell her that she should not trust her
22
boyfriend. She replied, “How can you know?! You don’t even know him, do you?!” Her hand was gripping the plastic cup so tightly, so it almost broke. Fear looked at her, taking a sip of her bear and said: “Well, how can you not know that he is cheating? Maybe I don’t really know him, but ask yourself: Do you actually know him when…” All eyes were on Fear and Marly. Fears face was covered in Wine. She looked up and her eyes were meeting Marlys eyes were full of anger, and sadness. She was still holding the plastic cup- but now empty, and half broken with a lightly bleeding hand. “ Who the hell do you think you are? Walking around this party like someone actually cares about you. You can’t just intervene in
private conversations which are none of your business!” Fear wasn't saying anything, instead she was just trying to wipe her face with a tissue that someone had handed her. All of the sudden a voice next to Fear was asking, “What the hell is going on here?” It was Eric, that didn't really know what was going on because he went outside for a smoke before. “Well ask your friend, she should pay more attention to her own fucking problems than getting involved in
“ You think throwing wine at her will solve this issue? Come on Marly! You should know better. You are a grown up and should know how to handle this, don’t let everything affect you so much.” Marly took a deep breath and let this sentence sink while Eric was trying to convince Fear to leave the Party. Everyone was already getting back to
others!” Eric looked at Fears wine soaked clothes, he still didn't say anything, just looking at Marly.
their drinking games and conversations because they hoped to get a better show. Fear finally looked at Eric to say: “No, I am not going to leave the party Eric. It’s fine, I am going to have a smoke. It’s not even midnight yet and I don’t want to go home.” Then she turned around to look at Marly who was still trying to calm down. “You know Marly, the best way to find out the truth is actually to get your shit together and just be honest and
open about it. Just ask him.” Fear can be exhausting, sassy and annoying. But you can make her your friend and find a way to deal with her. Even though it is hard to believe, sometimes Fear can actually help you. If you know how to take the feedback.
Katie Cieslar & Angel
Just Act Natural. 25
Go into a McDonald’s, Albert Heijn, or H&M and you will see that there are hardly few people who exist in the moment. Others are hidden in their smartphones, chatting with friends, or just mindlessly scrolling the feedback on FB. Instead of a sincere smile, they respond digitally with ‘lol’. How come people have become so emotionally stingy? Why is it so difficult to dial one’s number instead of sending dozens of emails? Nowadays, gadgets seem to replace friends. That’s why many millennials suffer from a foreign feeling inside their stomach every time they have to communicate in person. When we look at the ideas these devices promote, it’s no wonder we feel this way. Instagram – “I don’t like my thighs on this picture. Add filters, change the light – voilà! Perfect!”, Facebook – “I have 567 friends, I’m so popular. They like my photos, and it doesn’t matter that I’ll never meet them again.”, Snapchat – “I’m so bored, dunno what to
do. Oh! I can post a silly snap with a dog face! That’s so amusing! I’m funny.”, Twitter – “Oh, I see an empty can on the ground. What a nice idea to write a tweet Modern young people are so self-conscious and unconfident due to the fact that they’re influenced by norms that are common among their peers. It’s easier to pretend being someone else online than in a real life. Millennials care about being ‘perfect’: dressing in ‘i dont care’ t-shirts and old-fashioned jeans, about watchand listening to a brandnew song by Taylor Swift right after its being released. Being fake online makes a teenager behave in an unnatural way in a real life. Young people are afraid of being themselves because other peers, who are not even their friends, can find them boring. By using social media toportray our “perfect” image, we
are living with (No) Fear. Although it makes us feel comfortable and less afraid, we are just masking these issues instead of attacking them head on and moving on with our life. ‘Carpe diem’ is no longer a motto of young people. ‘Carpe a nice picture for 135 likes on Instagram’ is more likely to be
true. Personal communication is no longer a comfortable way of sharing emotions and ideas. Instead, it has gradually become a phobia of the 21st century. Live long and prosper.
Anna Churova & Sean Hughes
26
be yourself
d i a r f a u o y e r ? ? A n n i i g g iittttiinn
ooff ff
You’ve made it all the way to University, is fitting in still an issue? We’re lucky to study in an international friendly environment where you won’t get criticized for being yourself, still, we understand that you get nervous. Social anxiety has taken such an important role in the lives of our generation as it was named “The third largest mental health care problem”. We’ve all been through that moment when we ask ourselves: “Will they like me?” and
27
start doubting everything from your outfit, hair to the way that you talk. When social interaction becomes easier and more popular via social media, it is obvious that whether you are liked or not would have an impact on your well-being.
You are not alone Most people experience this fear once in awhile in their lives. Even the most popular student who gets probably invited to more parties than Lindsey
Lohan can feel like he doesn’t fit in. Maybe even the most popular people are the ones who are the most afraid since they are trying to please everyone. Just think about all the teenage drama movies like Mean Girls - where the bully ends up the be the most insecure. Being a bully was just her way to deal with her fear. What I want to say is that the fear of not fitting in con cerns everyone and is natural. You are not alone. People just don’t like to talk about it.
Live without Social Anxiety The obvious: Enjoying life much more! All that time spent on worrying and doubting yourself can now go towards doing things that can bring you happiness. Imagine how much time you would have if you could just go a day without worrying about how you look or if you’ve left a good impression. Start redirecting that energy into getting to know yourself and becoming the best
version of you rather than twisting and trying to blend into a mold to be with ‘the group’. Better yet, spend more time with the people who actually love and appreciate who you are, what you bring to the table. Just remember that in the end, only you can be yourself !
How to overcome it But how you can overcome your fear of not fitting in ? Well obvi ously there is no premade recipe for this, but there are a few tips I can give you by hand. First of all, you should simply stop trying. It’s not necessary to attend every social activity you are invited and join every conversation even though you are not interested. You may not be the person who likes to stay out late every night and that’s fine. When you realize what actually makes you happy and do it, you’ll also find the space where you fit in and feel joyful. Surely this is more easily said than done, but since when is life easy? Which brings me to my
28
second point - work to overcome your shyness. If you really want to find your space in the world you can’t just sit in a corner waiting till someone comes up to you. Overcoming shyness takes time, but I promise you it’s worth it. Just ask the girl in the cafeteria where she got her nice sweater and tell the teacher that his grading wasn’t fair. Take baby steps and you’ll see that people’s reaction isn’t that terrifying as you thought. Lastly and probably most important, you should start
29
to work on your self-confidence. Stop worrying what other people think about. There are a million exercises accessible online and they often sound strange, but promise they’ll help. The fear of fitting in is a common problem nowadays, but it’s nothing you can’t overcome. This world is full of different people of all kinds, so just be yourself and you’ll find your spot where you fit in perfectly. Lisa Spieth & Pham Hoang Dieu An
design by : Aubrey Adinata