WHO ARE WE? HOW TO JOIN?
WALKING IN MY SHOES
LEARNING ALONG THE WAY
June 2017
Magazine made by students of The Hague
University
WHO ARE WE? Online magazine on internationalization of European Studies and Communication management. A great way for students to connect with other students from diverse backgrounds and programs. A great way to work on your writing skills and intercultural communication skills.
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Who is in our team? European Studies students, International Communication Management students and Exchange students working in diverse teams of 2-4 people (teams are reshuffled for each publication).
we are looking for students who... Are creative & enjoy writing; Have a good command of English; Can meet strict deadlines; Want to earn 1 LWE/DIY/extra-curricular credit (= 28 hours) for participation during the whole year.
specific positions
Writers
1 Editor per semester (editor should be someone with excellent command of English)
1 designer/lay-out person (students with InDesign/Adobe experience preferred)
Want to join? Send an application letter to Ms. Nicki van Campenhout: n.vancampenhout@hhs.nl anytime before week 2 in semester 1 or semester 2. Successful candidates will be contacted and invited for an interview.
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Walking in my Shoes
I’ve never walked in your shoes, why would I? I never have. Now that I think about it, I don’t know if your shoes would fit. Would I try it? Would I try to see the world through your eyes? Maybe. In fact, I would. I’m not frightened of trying, any time will do, I don’t mind. It was a Sunday like any other, except it wasn’t. I was alone in my apartment after a cool day. A play at a theatre, big lunch, a run, the bike broke down, you name it. A friend of mine, let’s call him Joe, called me that his girlfriend missed her flight. They had bought two tickets on an allyou-can-eat pancake cruise. He offered me the tickets. But I had no one to go with, as it was about to start in just two hours. So we figured we go together. Plus, I was really hungry, so off we were. Half an hour in a train, half an hour in a tram, there we were. The boat was good looking. What a decoration, though. Weird, if you ask me. A bit too romantic, tacky. Did I forget to mention it was Valentine’s Day? Damn, I totally forgot. Why is everybody in couples? Are we the only male couple here? Oh man, I’m so hungry. It’s a good thing they started cooking already. Why is everybody looking at us? Is it because I’m sitting face to face with Joe drinking
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some pink cosmopolitan cocktail with hearts in it? On a Valentine’s day? Okay, you got me. I get it, they must have thought we were gay. That’s unfair. Why would they think we were gay? It’s an honest mistake, really. I mean, they must have known that Joe and I were there for the food, right? I’m very nervous. I notice some rather nice old houses on a small island behind the window, getting splashed by the waves. I’m the one getting splashed here by the cold stares! Joe looked concerned. “You think you have enough space in your stomach for all these pancakes? “ he grinned. “Let’s go grab them while they’re there!” I said in an uncertain voice. Stop staring at me, people. To make
it worse, I’m totally underdressed, aren’t I? I mean, come on! Is this what being gay is like? At that moment, I was really glad nobody knew me there. I could literally feel the hate flowing towards us. It’s mainly the men, though. The women think me and Joe are cute. I can totally tell, you know, from the look on their faces. Wow, these pancakes are amazing. I wonder if everybody else is enjoying them as much as I am. Well, I can see who’s not. The guy across the room from us. He’s been secretly observing us, probably waiting for me to make a move on Joe or Joe to make a move on me. He’s obsessed. Joe noticed him. He asked me: “Hey, you wanna spice it up a bit? How about we hold hands, see what they do?” I burst out
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laughing as we held hands, just for the hell of it. “What are the gays so happy about over there? “ the man would have said if his face could speak. We’ve already been here an hour and the looks won’t stop. Nevertheless a wonderful evening, beautiful cruise. I loved what they have done with the place. Hearts, balloons, candles, all of it. I just don’t understand why those people keep staring at us? Are we too flamboyant for their taste? Do we fall out of line? The man has got a girlfriend that many would kill for and all he’s doing all night is keep looking at us, watching our steps: “Ooh, are they going to kiss? Are they holding hands? No? What about now?”. He’s forgetting one simple reason why he came there: To celebrate Valentine’s Day with his love. He’s so stupid, our happiness is stealing away his comfort. I laugh. Instead of devoting these sacred moments to his girl, he’s watching a gay couple having a blast. I must say I love this social experiment. Joe and I have been asked by a crewmember to come up to the middle of the deck to pose for a photo. I was really nervous. I must have been blushing. We had to stand in front of the heart-love-themed wallpaper holding a giant red wire heart. Oh god, my face is on fire, don’t look, people. It must have been the longest 10 seconds of my life, as we waited for the shutter to click. The whole time, we were standing behind a giant heart, side by side, on Valentine’s Day,
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on a pancake cruise. Every couple has come up to get a photo, but we were the only ones being stared at. If people’s faces could speak, what would they say? “Disgusting”. “I can’t believe they dared to come here”. “Ooh, Richard, look at them, they’re so cute”. “They must have gathered some courage to do this, look how red the guy is”. “You’re a disgrace, just walk away, please, you’re making us look at you”. I could never forget those looks. Have I offended them in any way? This is not nice, I mean, we haven’t done anything bad. I finally know what it’s like… Oh man, I realised I have looked at homosexuals the same way myself before. Sometimes I have even stared. Not to sound cheesy or anything, but that’s not nice at all, I feel sorry for ever doing that. I mean, they’re not doing anything wrong, it’s love too, just with a same pair of gender chromosomes, that’s all. I’m really glad Joe forced me into this. I get all these sweet pancakes, and while eating them, I get to try out what it’s like to be gay, for free. A good deal, I must say. It turned out that the photo we took earlier came out blurry, so we got to ride the roller coaster of emotions again… It’s been a lovely evening. Two hours of 3D cinema. I really learned a lot. I tried walking in your shoes, man. They don’t fit, but have fun wearing them. Article by Martin Vybostok
Learning Along the Way The process of growing up never really ends, every day we learn something new, and grow a little more. However, more often than not, we leave school with a diploma in hand and the impression that we truly are adults. Thus, the realization that we really are not can be all the more jarring. I’m, like everyone else, trying to figure it out, but along the way I think I’ve learned some pretty valuable lessons, some of which I think are worth sharing. Romantic relationships don’t define you: I was 18 years old, in a relationship with an older man, extremely out of my depth, and I didn’t even know it. He was my first serious boyfriend, and I threw myself into the relationship head first- like one does when in love for the first time. I convinced myself that with all of my 18 years I was adult enough to navigate the murky waters of a serious long term relationship. I spent my weekends with my much older, more experienced boyfriend and his friends, going to his work functions, staying at his apartment, cooking his favorite meals. Do I regret this relationship? No, not really. It taught me a valuable lesson- it’s easy to be consumed by a relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic. But, especially in romantic relationships, when one is so in love it’s easy to sweep everything else to the side, and simply revel in that feeling of love. But, when it comes to an end,
you’re suddenly there, realizing just how much you’ve given up for that single person. And that. That, is what can truly be heartbreaking. The realization that you’ve sacrificed certain opportunities and experiences for another person can be more than a little weird. Especially, when that is not at all the person you consider yourself to be. That was the thing, I had always considered myself to be a strong, independent young woman, who knew better than to let a relationship define her. Low and behold, I was wrong. But, like I said, it did teach me something. In more recent relationships I’ve been very vigilant, maybe even hyper vigilant about maintaining my own personal sphere. That doesn’t mean avoiding commitment, however it means that I make sure to maintain the things and people that are important to me.
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I should add that I am now in a very happy relationship. I have found someone who encourages me, supports me, and is the best teammate anyone could ask for. So yay me! Sometimes you really do learn from your mistakes. Take care of yourself For you Parks and Recreation fans #treatyoself. This doesn’t mean suddenly becoming a vegan (let’s face it- life without cheese is super sad) nor does it mean shelling out 200 euros for a magic cream or potion, promising to revolutionize your life. What is means is doing the things that make you feel good, both mentally and physically. Trying to strike a balance between the healthy and the not so healthy. I still occasionally finish a pint of Haagen Daz Macadamia Nut Brittle by myself with absolutely zero regrets (I’m considering adding this particular capability to the special skills section of my LinkedIn page). However, I do also occasionally force myself to put on those pesky tennis shoes and go for a run. See! Balance. From a mental standpoint, make sure you check in with yourself, university and early to mid twenties can be a stressful time, full of changes, and definitely growth. Make sure you’re giving you self some time to adjust and cutting yourself some slack when needed. Only you know what you need from yourself, but remember to actually take the time to listen. That one pause, can make all the difference.
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Choose your friends wisely As we grow up, the things we require from our friendships begin to change. No longer are we in search of the friend who is best at hide and seek or who has the parents that let you stay up the longest during sleep overs. Our needs start to evolve; we look for friends that we can truly count on. The friends that text you to make sure you have gotten home safely, the friends that bring you soup and lecture notes if you’re ill. When we move away from our family we have the urge to recreate our own in a way. A family of friends, the basis that gives us the stability to feel safe and secure in our environment. While it may sound trite, or trivial, I truly believe there is truth in the saying, ‘quality over quantity,’ especially when it comes to friends. Your tribe doesn’t need to have twenty people that you would be willing to grab a drink with. Your tribe are those five people that you call whenever your heart hurts, or you’ve managed to get yourself into deep trouble. Also, be careful of the friendships that no longer serve you. It’s easy to feel certain obligations when it comes to friendships especially if you’ve been friends for a while. However, at a certain point it’s important to realize that friendships are a two-way street, if you feel like you are being used or that your efforts aren’t being
reciprocated, don’t be afraid to cut ties. But most importantly remember that your value isn’t measured by the number of people who write happy birthday on your Facebook wall, true friends are the ones who help and motivate you to be a better version of yourself.
to become is already progress. True knowledge of what you want comes from simply trying things out and not being afraid to fail.
Stay true to who you are and who you want to become With growth comes uncertainty. There are two types of people in this world, those who embrace the uncertainty or those who panic at the thought of an unsure future. I happen to fall in the latter category. The thought of not having a fiveyear plan with a guiding mission and vision statement fills me with fear, and makes me break out in stress hives. However, don’t fall into the trap of doing something you don’t actually enjoy or that doesn’t fill you with passion simply for the sake of doing something or having a plan. It’s easy to accept other people’s ideas of what you should be doing especially if you don’t know what you actually want to do. Take heed of this, because a time will come when you may start to resent that person for having given you a life plan (be it career or personal) that you don’t actually agree with, or that isn’t your own. Be the person you want to become, don’t stress if figuring that out takes longer than you would like. Even knowing who or what you don’t want
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Honor the ones you love Honor the ones you love can mean lots of different things to lots of different people. Start with the people who mean most to you, the first people you think of when you think of your loved ones. Honor those people, be it through kind words, or thoughtful actions. My mom (hi mom, I know you’ll read my article…) is the single most influential person in my life. Now, that most definitely does not mean that we never fight or that tears aren’t shed because of the other person. However, there is no one who means more to me than the tall brunette who listens to French rap when she’s mad. Do I always honor her? Honestly, no, there are moments where I am nowhere near the daughter she deserves. But, I do my best. Because she’s awesome, and she deserves my best. Those little texts, quick calls, or even post cards can mean the world to someone. Simply showing someone that you thought of them and took the time to say something, or do something about it is sometimes all it takes. Be patient This is the kind of advice that if on the receiving end, used to make me want to become physically violent. There was no piece of advice I hated more than “be patient” what a pile of shit, I used to think. But, there is some truth to it after all, as much as
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I hate to admit it. I’m not advocating waiting for life to happen to you, but don’t expect everything to happen at once. Sometimes no matter how ready we thing we are, the universe proves us wrong. Trust in life’s timing to give you what you need, when you need it. Know when to ask for help Growing up, you come to realize that not everything can be accomplished alone. A sign of maturity is knowing when to ask for help and not being embarrassed by asking. There is nothing wrong with asking for a hand especially since the people you’ll ask are those who want you to succeed anyway. Like everything else in life, growing up takes courage, moving from the known into the unknown. Finding your place in an unsure environment, figuring out who you are, and who you want to become, being happy with who you are and where you are in life. All of these things take courage and entail a certain amount of risk. Be bold, be brave. Embrace the journey and trust that you’ll end up where you’re supposed to be. Article by Isabelle Brooking
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June 2017
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G Globetrotter June 2017 - Special Edition Design by Bianka Urbanovska Front page by Martin Vybostok