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Chapter 10 - Legal Drugs ________________________________________

If you haven’t figured it out yet, you’ve just developed a disease called bronchitis…the inflammation of the bronchial cells. And what is the major symptom of bronchitis? If you said a deep cough, you are perfectly right. Now you know why that is the case. Interestingly, people who work in extremely polluted environments (coal mine, foundry and etc.) can develop bronchitis. Nevertheless, the incidence of this disease in smokers is 20 times greater than in non-smokers. That’s just the beginning of what smoking can do to you. If you are a regular smoker (about a pack of cancer sticks a day), in roughly 20 years, the tar that coats the epithelial tissue of the bronchial cells will begin to eat through the lining of the cell. Once inside, the tar somehow (the etymology of this process is not known) rearranges the genetic structure of the cell causing it to become an X or mutant cell. These mutant cells are a modification of the original cell except that they don’t have a productive function. In brief, they compete for oxygen, nutrients and replicate, but do not perform absolute no useful function. They are basically parasitic in nature. They take from you, but give you nothing in return. Do you ever date someone like that? They take everything you have, your money, your car, your house and they give you nothing in return. They are called jingaloes or gold diggers. What do you do with those people? We will tell you what you do. You cut them out of your life. The same thing you do with those X-cells. As soon as your doctor detects that you have those X-cells, he will take you down to the operating room. Then, he will put you on a marble slab, take out a Black’N’Decker chain saw and slice your chest cavity wide open. He will then pin your chest back so that he can get a better look. If there are just a few X-cells there, what he’ll do is take out a set of those $19.95 Ginsu knifes…you know, the ones that come with a purple table cloth…and cut them out. If, on the other hand, he gets in there and your chest is deluged with X-cells or if some of the X-cells broke off and/or became metastatic and colonized in different areas of your body, there is a good chance your doctor will stitch you back up. He will then tell you to go home to make out your will because you will be checking out in the near future because what those little X-cells are cancer cells and what you have is terminal cancer, the second leading cause of death in middle aged American men. Oh, but wait! There’s more. If you’re unfortunate enough to survive the cancer, there’s a good chance that you’ll develop a disease that’s even worse…emphysema. This bad boy won’t only shorten your life, but it will make you wish you were dead when you are alive. The disease has a significant deleterious effect on the cardiorespiratory system. Consequently, even the simplest tasks like walking across the room can be extremely taxing. Some emphysema patients can’t even blow out a match only two inches from their lips. When you develop emphysema, your entire life is compromised. You can’t run, you can’t swim, you can’t have sex, you can’t play


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