WISEUP/THE HUMAN THING

THE HUMAN THING

One of our Gnostic Rocks staff, David said something beautiful after making a mistake the other day.

He saw the customer it involved and quickly and warmly offered up, “I’ve done a human thing!” The problem was acknowledged and remedied quickly and his words stayed in my heart. It reminded me of the Alexander Pope quote “To err is human, to forgive is divine”

I’ve been doing my fair share of Err-ing of late. Painfully so.

The pain of an angry exchange. The exhaustion of a continued misunderstanding. A fumbled attempt at care.

The characters and players change -but in each experience – there I am, again, fumbling my way. The ‘me’ part of it is constant.

Acknowledging the screw up is hard if we are anxious types. If we were (god forbid!) wrong what would that mean about our worth as a human being? Are we less lovable? Less important? No one needs that kind of pressure.

The learning is relentless, its just that some days I’m a better student than others.

I’m still yet to meet anyone flawless – although sometimes the pedestal I place others on gives me the illusion of perfection for a time.

So now I have the task of upskilling my grace for the fails. How to be wrong in the right way.

Mistakes and culpability are nuanced. Beating ourselves up is a waste of precious energy and time.

REFLECTION: Looking at what happened outside of SHOULDS. Just the facts.

EMPATHY: How the event landed in the experience of others involved. Get curious.

ACCOUNTABILITY: How my actions contributed to these facts. How can I acknowledge them to those affected?

AMENDS: What can I do to remedy the problem, keeping in mind the wishes of those affected. They are under no obligation to meet you in your reflections or reparations.

Sometimes we have to wait to atone for our mistakes. Whether intended or not we will not always be able to “fix things”

The best apology is changed behaviours. If you aren’t enjoying your experience of yourself maybe have a look under the hood?

Taking the time to work on ourselves and reflect, get counselling or uproot harmful habits or behaviours is something that doesn’t require the other person. And its ok to make mistakes. You just did a human thing. And with self-honesty and self-love, you can change.