Bolo News by Goda Verikaitė

BOLO NEWS ŽIRMŪNAI, FRIDAY, JUNE 29, AFTER X YEARS

DIY DREAMER

URBAN MONK

the Ministry of environment and urban speculations starts doubting. bolo : A FAILING EXPERIMENT OR A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT? As sculptors/ architects John Körmeling and Su Yunsheng used to say: ‘Cities grow in their own way. Do not prune and pot them like bonsai trees. Let them become ugly, or sick if need be. Cities heal themselves.’ The Ministry of Environment and Urban Speculations wonders if bolistic

BIO FREAK

Little by little bolo communities settle down and start looking for interconnecting points (p.4). However confrontations also appear. Žirmūnai ibus wonder if DIY Dreamers begin to occupy more space than they supposed to. But who is actually deciding where one bolo starts and another finishes..? The Ministry reveals utopian plans what could happen inbetween bolos (p.5).

PLEASURE FUTURIST

It is not a secret that Pleasure Futurists among other ibus are often called the Bolo primus inter pares (first among equals). Is there any possibility for corruption scandal? Urban monks stay apolitical – they are too busy with the own issues caused by the newly arrived ex-workaholics (p.4). These and other stories can be found in further pages.

healing is actually healing the exsocialist districts of Vilnius. More and more bolos appear. Last month Ministry counted more than one hundred applications for subsidies to start their own communities, 27 concepts were selected to be developed in the coming years (p.3). LOCAL NEWS

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WHAT IS LUXURY FOR YOU?

APPLICATION FORM FOR GOVERNMENTAL SUBSIDIES 1. BOLO CONCEPT/ NAME

2. AMOUNT OF FUNDING NEEDED

*SPECIFICATIONS: A CONCEPTUAL SCHEME/PLAN OF DEVELOPMENT

3. NUMBER OF IBUS (MEMBERS)

4. NUMBER OF HOUSES

5. POSSIBLE CONTRIBUTION TO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD (OTHER BOLOS)

SIGNATURE OF INITIATORS

STAMP AND SIGNATURE OF RECEIVING INSTITUTION

THE LIST OF FUTURE BOLOS WAITING FOR SUBSIDIES: 1.Techno-poets 2.Ultimate Love Addicts 3.Mars Intruders 4.Coders 5.‘Robotland’ 6.New Age Warriors 7.Transhumanists 8.Househusbands

9.Hipsters 10.Consumers 11.Philosophers-nihilists 12.Singles (only singles) 13.Contemporary Pagans 14.Future Archeologists 15.Nanobiologists 16.Sonologists

17.Visualisers 19.Asteroid miners 20.Archivists of Nostalgia 21.Athletes 22.’Fertility Department’ 23.Spiritual community (‘Enlightment is here’) 24.Ethnologists

25.Nudists 26.Visioners 27.Luxury Extremists

LOCAL NEWS

from ‘talonas’ to ‘bolonas’ Žirmūnai bolos introduce a new alternative currency – ‘Bolonas’. Title refers to ‘Talonas’ – a certain type of coupon used in Lithuania during the Soviet times which enabled individuals to buy things. However it is just a coincidence of letters.

‘Bolonas’ is invented by residents themselves and works as a bitcoin but instead of buying and selling it refers to the act of sharing and exchanging different types of bolistic luxury (could be an object, service, temporal space, facility) among different bolos.

The new app suggests various options, here are a few examples: 5 WORKSHOPS FOR KIDS ‘HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN DRONE’

SPIRITUAL HEALING SESSION OF ‘DOING NOTHING’ VIRTUAL INTRODUCTIOIN BY S.ŽIŽEK WILL BE PROVIDED

BOLO NEWS RECOMMENDS: PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK

2 NIGHTS IN VILLA (INCLUDING ROMANTIC DINNER IN THE BOTANICAL GREENHOUSE GARDEN)

URBAN MONASTERY IS OVERLOADED WITH EXWORKAHOLICS. Permanent urban monks are struggling with the distribution of newly arrived inhabitants. Traumatized by voluntary chosen unhuman amount of working hours in previous life these new ibus try to recover themselves in their personal cells. The used method in this rehab is to do nothing. The main theory of treatment is adopted from Slavoj Žižek:

LOCAL NEWS

‘Do you mean we should do nothing? Just sit and wait?” One should gather the courage to answer: “YES, precisely that!” There are situations when the only truly “practical” thing to do is to resist the temptation to engage immediately and to “wait and see”

10 KG OF ORGANIC CHERRIES (PICKED BY YOURSELF)

zirmunai one big golf field? Ministry of Environment and Urban Speculations revealed plans how Žirmūnai bolo neighbourhood could turn into one big luxurious golf field. From the introduction text: Since the Hyperloop connects the main districts and cities, we suggest to implement slower means of transportation as shared bikes, golf carts, Nordic skis (in winter time) for local use.

The residents wonder – is it just another speculation or the real proposal by the Ministry... Who is standing behind it? Who wants to turn Žirmūnai into one big recreational park? Finally…

WHO IS GOING TO PLAY GOLF?

LOCAL NEWS

A SHORT GUIDE THROUGH THE MEGA BALTIC Have you already visited the ministries of Lithuania? SEA Finally you have enough time. A pleasant trip is guaranteed. The connection has never been easier. Get a season Hyperloop ticket with a special discount and enjoy the Mega City of Lithuania.

Imagine. You (ibu from one of Žirmūnai bolos) wake up in the morning, get on the Hyperloop and in 30 minutes already attend a yoga class on the beach in Klaipėda. Maybe you can even meet some unexpected lover there (Ministry of Klaipėda is well known for Foreign Love Affairs). *14

Later you visit a lecture in Šiauliai (The Ministry of Education, Science and Technooptimism). Surrounded by extraordinary researchers, geeks, and other techno-enthusiasts you dive into the world of knowledge. The open sources - digital libraries are open 24/7. *7

PROPAGANDA NEWS

Passing by Kaunas (The Ministry of Transport, Communications and Ultimate Distribution) can sometimes take longer than expected. No worries. Hyperloop stations offer loads of pleasures as ‘MEGA’ the new interrelation mall. You can find everything here - from very ordinary things like shopping, bowling, gym, to cinema of virtual reality, digital art exhibitions and etc. *3

And finally you finish the day in Tauragė – the Ministry of Ludic Culture by watching the newest performance of ‘Robot Ludens’. *12

LATVIA

BELARUS

POLAND

1.VILNIUS Ministry of Environment and Urban Speculations 2.ELEKTRĖNAI Ministry of Future 3.KAUNAS Ministry of Transport, Communications and Ultimate Distribution 4.JONAVA Ministry of National, Global and Personal Defence 5.KĖDAINIAI Ministry of Health, Death and/or Immortality 6.PANEVĖŽYS Ministry of Shared Economy, Finance and Blockchain 7.ŠIAULIAI Ministry of Education, Science and Techno-optimism 8.PASVALYS Ministry of Relative Justice 9.MARIJAMPOLĖ Ministry of Automated Agriculture and Bio Energy 10.KALVARIJA Ministry of Social Security, Labour and Leisure 11.RASEINIAI Ministry of Interior and In-between 12.TAURAGĖ Ministry of Ludic Culture 13.CITY UNKNOWN Ministry of Nothing 14.KLAIPĖDA Ministry of Foreign Love Affairs and its’ Circumstances

CITY OF LITHUANIA *the article is ordered by ‘The Hyperloop International’

PROPAGANDA NEWS

protest: new luddites decide to act NO AUTOMATED APPLES Last week Bio Freaks and other New Luddites joined forces and organized a massive protest in front of the Ministry of Environment and Urban Speculations (former parliament building) against the happening trend - automation and reorganisation of the last human-maintained farms in Lithuania. It was surrounded and surveilled by dronespolicemen.

The protest later moved to southern Lithuania and finished with a performance as a radical act by raising three old abandon wooden barns each on four legs and burning them. The concept was adopted from the Finish architect-sabotager Marco Casagrande.

NEO LUDDISM: a philosophy opposing many forms of modern technology. Contemporary New-Luddites are a widely diverse group of loosely affiliated or non-affiliated groups which includes: writers academics students Amish Mennonites Quakers environmentalists ‘fallen-away yuppies’ ‘ageing flower children’ ‘young idealists seeking a technology-free environment’ Retrieved from Wikipedia open source

NEWS FROM THE MINISTRIES

More information can be found here:

AN INDEPENDENT RESEARCH GROUP OF ARCHITECTSFUTUROLOGISTS VISITED THE MEGA CITY OF LITHUANIA. Last week ibus were the group loitering

Žirmūnai surprised by of strangers around.

These architectsfuturologists could be recognised from their black outfit (always black) and helmets (sort of replica to the lamps designed by Superstudio in early 70s’).

Ordering a house has never been so fast…If in the past we could deliver the whole set of kitchen or living room furniture now we can bring to you the whole set of house.

Darling, what house should we order today?

The research group stated that Žirmūnai bolos were in the top five places to visit during their stay. The results of this urban investigation will be announced next month.

TOP#5

By using the technology of disassembed prefab block buildings we react to the changing patterns of living and suggest various models how it can be transformed and reassembled according to your wish.

‘The concrete panels prove intrinsically tougher than the political system that begat them and now operate as a finite, almost wholly recyclable resource.’ Reinier de Graaf

NEWS FROM THE MINISTRIES

Bio Freak lady is seeking a nostalgic herbalist, 6075, for cozy domesticity, bee sharing, gardening and organic love story. irena@newluddites.org

Sensitive bolo boy, very sad and confused, wants to meet a boy over 25 (especially interested in urban monks) who would be happy to help him forget present unhappiness and stress. A photo would be nice. Contact me: paulius@ex_workaholics.com

Seeking a smart, confident woman, (45-55), who is just missing that special partner/ friend. I am an accomplished, handsome man with a generous heart and a great joy of life. I don’t belong to any bolo but sympathize with their alternative way of living. Either you are one of BioFreaks, DIY Dreamers, Urban Monks, or an independent ibu, reply in confidence: jonas@futuremail.com

Slim, attractive versatile woman, 28, hobbies: critical analysis, listening to silence, meditation. Owns a single cell, seeks intelligent, quiet, similar type, early twenties for sincere friendship and possible relationship outside the urban monastery.

personals: time for love!

laura@bolomail.com Brunet, fit, pretty Pleasure Futurist is seeking a freethinking guy, girl or a robot, 25-35, to hang out with in Žirmūnai area. You are good company, pleasure-orientated, funny, and warm (not necessary for robot). Scan me here:

HEY YOU, a tough independent handy-woman! Genuine DIY builder and indie music enthusiast seeks mate over 35 for spatial experimentations, creative thinking, global adventures and warmth at night. darius@freespace.com

machine dream OUTTAKES FROM THE POEM PUBLISHED DURING THE EXHIBITION ‘DISSITENT GARDENS’ (HET NIEUWE INSTITUUT ARCHIVE, 2018, THE NETHERLANDS) In this man-made-landscape, people seem to be in charge of nature, more boss than anywhere else in the world, almost-creators, but nevertheless, there is something desolate about this area, because no one comes here anymore. Only machines. Just like in outer space. The tractor muddies the wheels, sweats oil, emits smoke, and doesn’t see anything other than soil for hours on end. The plough machine drags clods of earth, roots and worms through its paddles. A buzzard comes too close and the drone automatically makes a sideways loop. Briefly, the camera in its belly looks up in the sky. house,

10 PERSONALS/ POETRY

The self-propelled sprayer, a device as big as a small house, is directly fed with data from the drone and knows precisely how much more or less it needs to spray each grass bulb. Conversations between machines needn’t be heard by a single human being. <...> This work yard is also garden of pleasure. Artificial intelligence takes a tour through the new countryside, the robot claw feels how juicy the apple is, the drone hears the rustling of the poplar leaves, countless tiny cameras enjoy the 21st century view. For machine-eyes, this is paradise

IS TIME THE ULTIMATE LUXURY?

BOLO HOROSCOPES FOR TOMORROW: A BRIGHT FUTURE AHEAD

BOLO NEWS 12 pages Edition: 15 SPECULATIVE STORY TELLER: Goda VerikaitÄ&#x2014; MA Interior Architecture INSIDE Royal Academy of Art The Hague The Netherlands June, 2018

12 FUTURE PREDICTIONS

SPECIAL THANKS TO: Futurist Barend Koolhaas Bolo expert Erik Jutten