Gabriel Mallek

Tuesday: Carlos 3:05 AM by Gabriel Mallek

I have not slept a beat. After seeing Rashad yesterday I can’t stop thinking about taking action. I said that someone had to do something and I meant it. I have school in the morning so I try to close my eyes but there is no way I am going to sleep. I feel as if I am running off of ten cups of coffee. Well I might as well do something productive if sleeping isn’t an option. Then it came to me. If I am going to make a statement about Rashad it has to be visible. Not just some fight in the dark. Graffiti. If you wanted to get a message out about something, that was the way to go. But where? I run to my bag and grab the first can I can see without looking, and a can of black which I keep in a separate pocket. I tip toe my way down the stairs and narrowly avoid my dog at the bottom of the stairs. I throw on my paint stained white vans and walk out the door, cans in hand.

I know that the school is a seven and half minute walk after timing it on going to and from school. This was the first time in at least three months that I had been outside this late. I forgot how dark and desolate it feels. Lonely too. For a moment I forget why I am going to the school but the spray paint can in my hand reminds me. I arrive at the school and I do not know where to start. I stand still staring at the front of the school for a while. I am not sure for how long, but I remind myself that I can’t be seen so I get to work. I decided to do my tag on the sidewalk. The streetlight nearest to me is flickering so I see that I have a bright blue, neon almost, color. For the purpose it will be fine but I would have picked maybe a yellow or red for the brightness and to pop on the tan sidewalk. I start on the far left side and with my favorite font, start to spray the top of a giant R. I paint the loop and then the legs and repeat the process until I have RASHAD. I pause to think. Rashad what? I think oh I’ll just ask him today. I realize that one I wouldn’t have enough time, and also he would still be absent. Still absent. Rashad is absent. Absent again today. That is the perfect thing for the tag because it doesn’t attack anyone directly but it would spark conversations and opinions.

I paint is, absent, and AGAIN in noticeably bigger text then the rest and finally today and a period after it for emphasis on the last two words. I outline the words in black to make them look clean and stand

out, as is custom for graffiti. I stand up from my crouched position and back up to look at the entire phrase. It looks barren and needs something more. I look up at the sky and I see the moon and surrounding stars. Hundreds, maybe thousands of them. Normally in the early hours of the night stars are not visible but not now. I can see more than I can count. In black I draw a collage of stars. Typical five side ones, spiky ones, ones with many lines, and many more. I step back and move my eyes from the left to the right scanning my piece. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I know one thing. That it will be a big deal in the morning. I ran home, didn’t even take my shoes off, and went straight to sleep.

Five hours later, I arrived at school again. I am in such a trance from lack of sleep that I forget about the tag until I see it. There are at least fifty to sixty people standing around it taking photos. Some look angry, others indifferent or confused. Most prominently, I look to the far right side and I see the school principal, Dr. Sherry, with the most angry face I have ever seen him make. I ducked my head inside and I was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people in the primary lounge and cafeteria behind it. Wherever I looked there were people talking about the tag and hypothesizing who had done it. Soon the bell rings and I head to first period, English with Ms. Tracey. I share the class with Shannon who I sit with in the back row. He has his feet up on the desk, and I walk over and sit down next to him. Immediately he whispers,

“It was you?”

I nodded.

“When?” he whispered

“Last night” I responded,

“If you get caught you’re done for.” he said.

Ms. Tracey cleared her throat three times before the class finally quieted down.

“I know you all might be focused on the graffiti at the moment but we have finals to get ready for, so let’s do it!”

Shannon leaned over to me and asked, “do you think anyone knows you did it?”

“One person” I responded, “Rashad. He knows one of my tags when he sees one”

Lunchtime came and I sat at the table with English and Shannon. As soon as I sat down English and I locked eyes and I knew exactly what he was thinking about.

“Yeah” I said while nodding. “It was two or three in the morning, I forget exactly when”

“What gave you the idea?” English asked.

“Seeing Rashad yesterday,” I answered. “I said that someone had to do something, and this is my contribution.”

I looked out across the sea of people at the numerous circular tables, still gossiping on their latest guesses on the culprit. It felt weird because I knew that I painted it, but at the same time it felt like a stranger had actually painted the tag.

After my last classes of the day, I was anxious to get home and take a nap after running on the fumes of a low quality four hour rest. Walking out the door I look at the tag and thought,

“Did I overdo it? Was it really the right thing to do?”

I did not know the answer, but I knew that the situation had just gotten started.