The Phoenix, 2022

Tuesday: Carlos 3:05 AM by Gabriel Mallek I have not slept a beat. After seeing Rashad yesterday I can’t stop thinking about taking action. I said that someone had to do something and I meant it. I have school in the morning so I try to close my eyes but there is no way I am going to sleep. I feel as if I am running off of ten cups of coffee. Well I might as well do something productive if sleeping isn’t an option. Then it came to me. If I am going to make a statement about Rashad it has to be visible. Not just some fight in the dark. Graffiti. If you wanted to get a message out about something, that was the way to go. But where? I run to my bag and grab the first can I can see without looking, and a can of black which I keep in a separate pocket. I tip toe my way down the stairs and narrowly avoid my dog at the bottom of the stairs. I throw on my paint stained white vans and walk out the door, cans in hand.

I know that the school is a seven and half minute walk after timing it on going to and from school. This was the first time in at least three months that I had been outside this late. I forgot how dark and desolate it feels. Lonely too. For a moment I forget why I am going to the school but the spray paint can in my hand reminds me. I arrive at the school and I do not know where to start. I stand still staring at the front of the school for a while. I am not sure for how long, but I remind myself that I can’t be seen so I get to work. I decided to do my tag on the sidewalk.

The streetlight nearest to me is flickering so I see that I have a bright blue, neon almost, color. For the purpose it will be fine but I would have picked maybe a yellow or red for the brightness and to pop on the tan sidewalk. I start on the far left side and with my favorite font, start to spray the top of a giant R. I paint the loop and then the legs and repeat the process until I have RASHAD. I pause to think. Rashad what?

I think oh I’ll just ask him today. I realize that one I wouldn’t have enough time, and also he would still be absent. Still absent. Rashad is absent. Absent again today. That is the perfect thing for the tag because it doesn’t attack anyone directly but it would spark conversations and opinions.

I paint is, absent, and AGAIN in noticeably bigger text then the rest and finally today and a period after it for emphasis on the last two words. I outline the words in black to make them look clean and stand 43