The Fuck-OFF

THE FUCK-OFF

by GONZO INSTRUMENTAL TEBU

Yo nigger, yeah I’m talking to you nigger; hear this. Do you feel like you have found the one? The girl of your dreams maybe? The girl you spend most of your day thinking about? The one that makes you feel funny inside and out? Yep I’m talking about that girl; you might have been together for a month, a year or two or three it really doesn’t matter you just can’t BE without her being around and sometimes she doesn’t need to be around; you just can’t help to feel the way you feel about her. Before you go running into a Chapel/Home Affairs to seal your ‘relationship’. Have you laid it down to her yet? I don’t mean your repertoire in the bed you freak; I mean letting her know; better yet showing her who you are.

Does she know what you do? Where you work? How much money you make (totally against this one, it is the killer of all things even ‘relationships’)? Does she know what and how you think? Does she know how you view the world? And what the fuck does she think about it (with it or against it?)? If you answered no to most of these questions especially the last three; you are in serious fucking trouble NIGGER! Through my experience I have found the reason why most of the intimate relationships I have been in don’t work. I’m a very dumb Neanderthal-Urban Man who is bit of a romantic (I think), but who at the same token sucks at romance. So through my dumb intelligence I have a tendency of making my intentions known from the beginning; so that there could be (hopefully) no complications as we do this ‘relationship’ thing. In the beginning things flow in accordance; and some of the girls I’ve dated/was in a ‘relationship’ with were enticed by the fact that I rap and make beats and that I’m a creative individual. Some just liked me for the idiot that I am (well I’ll assume so because either she said it or acted it out with public affections and stuff). Either way the recurring pattern was that problems would arise; whether be sexual, financial, time, space, my diet, my clothing and style, my untidiness, why don’t I wash everyday, my weed and drug habit, my Music, my Aesthetic Atheist living and all that is Gonzo Instrumental Tebu has somehow become a problem.

Then the fights brake out; you don’t spend much time as you use to, maybe her presence now makes you sick. Well guess what she might be acting the same or she genuinely feels the same. With my ex-girl/baby mama we started fighting right in the beginning and throughout, but I have to say that it was the best and the realest relationship honestly, maybe because she saw what type of person I am and I learned a lot from who she was, and that honestly made us humans. Now if you are dumb like me you are probably ‘still in love’ with this soul; then brace yourself for rougher seas my nigger. Her calls that were always disturbing when you were busy; all of a sudden decrease, sex turns into something you would rather miss after supper. Eventually long periods of time will elapse without sex compared to the sexual excavations and innovations you were up to in the beginning of this ‘relationship’.

Now at this point one of you will cheat; if you are dumb and have no game like me, yes I said it, no game like me. Then it will be definitely them that will cheat on you, not to say that my dumb-non-game intelligence has not led me into the warm clutches of infidelity, it definitely has and in some incidences I wish I was never there. With all the knowledge and wisdom I have, with all the perceptions and articulations I own; I try to remind them that this is what I feared when I laid bare my flesh and soul in the beginning of this ‘relationship’; I always thought they were cool with me being me, but no; I think women have a natural tendency for safety and security; that leads them, I believe, to want to have control of everything and everyone around them. Thus this action of control or pursuing such; when obtained makes them safe and secure. My ex said days after we broke-up that I was not willing to change; but who the fuck said I needed to change? It wasn’t me! I don’t remember signing up for a ‘LET’S GET SOME CHANGE; THE TEN STEP PROGRAM’! Change into what? For as far as I remember I have been like this for the past 13 years; so I don’t predict any change to come any time soon! Enough about me back to you my nigger. Now if you are dense (my other word for dumb) like me; you will still try make it work because you tell yourself everyday that you love this women; ‘not matter what she puts you through’. Now if she is truly honestly regretful about what she did; she will tell you about her infidelities and she MIGHT (I’m putting MIGHT like this because MIGHT is a big word) never do it again. If she is evil and cunning she will tell you to see and test your reaction, if she is utterly stupid she will tell you nothing.

I’m not writing this to try figure out women and their ways; I’m just letting you know what I have experienced with them in my life, whether you like it or not; I am being honest.

One thing I have experienced with the female species is that; almost all of them refuse to face up to who they really are; this is mostly due to how we were raised.

If you are a girl; you were told that pink is your colour, your action is soft and your toys are dolls and their houses. If you are boy; you were told that blue is your colour, your actions are wild and rough, your toys are cars, action figures and soccer balls. Nobody said to you; ‘you are both human children now go and play and leave me the fuck alone’. Now this Worldly upbringing has taught females to depend, expect and to be told, it has taught them not to look inside but outside for contentment; whether be sexual, parental, financial, beauty, love and self contentment. Girls I’m talking about being content with yourself; instead of letting a publication tell you what to eat, wear, watch, and how you look; you should look yourself in the mirror and say,’ I am ugly and beautiful’. Why do you think all the artificial image and skin product are targeted towards you? You would rather have a dead-horses’ and sometimes other humans hair then your own natural human hair. This image and identity crisis leads women to not being able to face up to who they are; and that ultimately leads them to blame everyone around when life doesn’t go safely and securely. In most cases they feel that they don’t have the capacity and ability to have control of their own life; that’s why they will blame us niggers for every single thing they feel that they had shared or lost whilst they were with us. My ex said to me that she could not sing to our son at night; because she feels being in relationship with me made her lose her voice; she can’t or doesn’t want to sing anymore, I don’t know.

Nigger remember; if she has nothing in-common with you let her go unless you and her really enjoy the sex, but still you have to let her go she is not for you unless again that is what you want; if it is you are a fucked-up nigger! If you have stuff in common; then please nigger probe her and grill her about yourself, tell her what you up to, your visions, your future and basically tell and show her your idiot self. Show her your porn collection, your ‘War-Hammer’ figures, your utterly stupid collection of post-stamps posted to India from Durban, show her everything let her digest, process, engage and decide whether to come around to see you again or not. This exercise works best if you also take an interest in all that she is, but if

things go the way I have put them down in this piece; then in a gentle and well toned voice, the one you use to woe her for some kinky sex, tell her to FUCK-OFF. As a matter of fact you too nigger; FUCK-OFF