Self-Care to Fuel Your Well-Being

by Wini Curley

“This makes me crazy!

My stress and anxiety levels keep flaring up! I know I need to pay more attention to self-care. I can’t figure out why doing what I usually do to feel better and more relaxed doesn’t last. Getting a massage or a pedicure is a super, pleasant temporary distraction. Still, they don’t seem to go deep enough to actually change my sense of well-being when I get back to my day. What am I missing here?”

Does this sound familiar?

Like my client Melissa above, perhaps you have some self-care practices in place to reduce stress and maintain balance. But, for some reason, what once was effective now does not meet your needs. You may need to take a more in-depth look at how you define self-care and well-being and the relationship between them.

Well-being is disrupted, and stress is created when your inner world of plans and expectations does not match what is facing you in your outer world. Your inner world is made up of your thoughts,

Your outer world is made up of the conditions, people, unexpected events, and actions of others that impact you.

Those you do not control, although some you may be able to influence. Self-care is a tool to help you power up your ability to improve functioning in both your inner and outer worlds and, therefore, improve your well-being.

2020 has been a year full of powerful reasons to learn to take better care of ourselves. I teach my clients that you have four core sources of energy that intertwine and balance each other. These four core resources help to reduce stress and maintain your sense of well-being on all levels. These energy sources are Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. The more self-aware you become of how you use and replenish these energy sources, the more resilient you become.

Depending on the challenges you face, one or more of these sources may fuel the energy you need to cope and sustain resilience. If you tend to lean on one of the four more than others, that source can become overly depleted. When that happens, the self-care you seek needs to replenish that energy source in balance with the others.

For example, continual stress can produce physical symptoms such as adrenal fatigue or irregular sleep patterns, leading to a lack of focus and lower productivity. Simple remedies include getting adequate rest and nutrition. These physical solutions may work just fine unless the condition is left unattended and allowed to worsen.

Being away from work to rest and then missing deadlines creates additional mental stress. You figure out ways to get projects completed or regret what has slipped through the cracks. This then leads to emotional stress when you worry about keeping your job, taking care of others, or paying your bills. That frustration gets compounded by stress at the spiritual level when you question why you are working so hard, the value of your work, and ultimately, your value. that the answer to the spiral is not always the same, depending on what energy sources need to be replenished and the most effective methods (or combinations) for you.

As I told Melissa, it is not just the selfcare activity you choose, but how you apply it to your energy sources that count. Integrate your self-care practices through all your core energy source levels. As an example, you can use a massage to attain physical relaxation and replenishment and consciously extend that benefit to Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual levels. Next time you engage in physical self-care like a massage, bubble bath, pedicure, or other pampering services, try the following:

As you allow your body to relax, use your breathing to calm your mind also. No list-making. No event replays. No rehearsing a conversation you hope to have. Let your mind rest. Focus inward, on your breath. Allow yourself to feel gratitude for the opportunity to replenish and personally receive care from the individual(s) providing support. Feel all the feelings that come up, and release them. Set aside judgments of yourself or others.

Next time you notice your stress levels are up, and your sense of wellbeing is slipping, ask yourself these 4 questions:

• Where is the mismatch between my inner and outer worlds, causing the most stress?

• What first next step can I take to better understand or resolve that conflict?

• Which one(s) of the four energy sources feels most drained?

• How can I nourish this aspect of myself? Identify both short and long-term options.

With some practice, you can learn how to expand self-care techniques to nourish all four core energy sources. Explore how effective it can be to use self-care to improve both your functionality and your well-being.

You can see the downward spiral. Maybe you have experienced something similar.

What is the way out of the spiral? Being self-aware and nipping negative thoughts and behavior patterns in the bud are the most effective forms of self-care. The challenge is Go deeper to access your core values as a human being.

Acknowledge that taking good care of yourself is the best way to effectively and powerfully serve your purpose(s) in the world. Feel the self-love associated with your self-care. Practice achieving positive alignment for your thoughts and feelings that form the connection between your Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual levels.

Begin to feel yourself return to your natural state of flow and balance.