Reclaiming Joy in 2021

by Jennifer Sprague

“Remember that Joy is your natural state.”

–Wayne Dyer

After a year like 2020, some of us have a hard time remembering the last time we even experienced authentic Joy, let alone felt it was our natural state. Yet after a year of uncertainty, loss of control, and feeling scared, angry, bitter, resentful, sad, and isolated, there is a recognition that we survived and a hope that maybe we can return to Joy! For others, last year was a gift–a mandatory pause and an opportunity to reprioritize. That’s what 2020 was for me. I could settle and reconnect to the inner Joy that isn’t dependent on hard-won achievements, new stuff, status, or relationships. And wow, I am so energized and grateful when I’m in my joy state- the best place to work from, relate to others from, and to care for myself from! Talk about a contagious state, Joy is, so let’s spread that in 2021!

If you’re having a hard time relating to that, maybe this sounds more familiar. If I’d read that quote 4 years ago, I’d have said, “Remember? I’d like to know when we were ever taught that Joy was our natural state, to begin with?” I was taught that you work hard, long hours, achieve challenging goals, acquire a lot of money, have a perfect relationship and family, and then you’ve earned Joy. For the first two decades of my adult life, I was mired in a scarcity mindset and a never-ending to-do list born out of an unworthy belief (an epidemic in our society). This, of course, leads to chronic stress, which eventually ran my physical and mental health straight into the ground. After that 20-year roller coaster ride, vacillating between feeling ‘ok’ and depressed, not to mention never-ending health problems, I finally felt trapped and depressed enough to quit. I escaped the environment that I could never ‘win’ in. If this scenario is ringing your bell, then feel the hope! I did turn that ship around, and now I get to spread this joy-filled freedom far and wide!

This is what I’ve discovered about why Joy doesn’t feel natural and how we can reclaim it. First, our brains are evolutionarily wired for catastrophizing; this is called negativity bias. It’s our brain’s tendency to scan our environment for the scary and dangerous in an attempt to keep us alive. Secondly, our personal seemingly dysfunctional patterns were born out of a need to cope with daily traumas, big and small, when we were children. These patterns were an attempt from our underdeveloped nervous systems to make sense of an uncomfortable world. But the attempts resulted in limiting belief systems and mal-adaptive behavior patterns. Here’s the good news: I learned that with awareness and the right support, we can change the way our minds perceive ourselves and the world, thus breaking those old patterns, and experiencing and expressing our inherent Joy, finally!

I hope that understanding relieves the self-blame we’ve got going on about not ‘doing well’ last year! So, how do we stop depriving ourselves of the lightheartedness and playfulness that are our birthright and step into the Good, Fat, delicious Life that is waiting for us? Simple, three steps to reclaiming our Joy in 2021: awareness, creating space, and aligning with our purpose.

Before we unpack those steps, I think defining who we truly are is helpful. We are the beings that are observing this physical life. We are not our thoughts, our brains, our personalities, or our egos. We are the consciousness witnessing the experiences and thoughts we’ve had thus far in this life! The unique experiences we’ve had shaped our personalities and the pathways in our mind that perpetuate the patterns we operate from. Best news ever! That means we can interrupt those thought and behavior patterns and change our brains’ neural pathways to see positivity instead. We can literally change the lens with which we perceive the world and ourselves. Like putting on those rose-colored joy glasses and seeing the world as a playground to explore our potential rather than a scary landscape we fight to survive in.

With our higher selves in mind, let’s create that 2021 Joyful January Action Plan. Unleash the expression of the Joy that is inherently you by committing to a playdate with yourself to flesh out these steps and put them into action. When we commit time, effort, and attention to our betterment, everyone wins–it’s the least selfish thing we can do, so give yourself the gift of your time. Step 1: Awareness. This step is about identifying the patterns that are not working for you and when you are operating in them. Ask yourself: “what am I currently experiencing that I want to stop experiencing?”, “what part of my story do I keep reliving that is not empowering?” and “what are the feelings I want less of?” These questions help us identify the patterns we want to break. With this awareness, we become active sentinels searching for moments when we are operating from those disempowering patterns.

Step 2: Create Space. When we notice we are in an old behavior/thought loop, we pause to interrupt the pattern. Breathing slow and deeply for just 2 minutes can take us out of the fight or flight state and into rest and digest mode. This will bring us back to the present moment, where we have the space to make conscious decisions rather than reflexive reactions. We need to stop the momentum of those old stories and build momentum toward living from our natural state of Joy.

Step 3: Align with Purpose. The space you created is where you reconnect with your true joyful self. You’ll use the sensations in your body to determine what choice is aligned with your unique purpose. If it feels light and desirable in your body and there is no harm caused to you and others, then it is aligned with your highest self! If you need help, turn to your inner child! That one knows exactly what Joy feels like! What were you doing and thinking when you were playing carefree and feeling that unapologetic Joy as a kid? This is your true state, which is also a clue to your unique purpose in life… The actual reason you feel Joy is because you’re aligned with your higher self’s purpose- that gift you are on this planet to give. This is when you feel timeless. You’re in the flow state with access to your infinite intelligence, creativity, inspiration, and innovation. Ahh, that feels so good!!!

We are just beautiful tiny pieces of life on this Earth. We feel Joy when we are evolving toward our purpose! Joy is our natural state because all living things are evolving; this is the nature of life. So, if you are done spiraling downward with 2020, choose to start spiraling upward in 2021. Use awareness and space to align with your purpose; our ultimate intention is to expand and evolve.

Having trouble imagining a life where you are excited for the day, where you feel Joy spontaneously and frequently throughout the day, then reach out for support. As human beings, we are social and are not equipped to make lasting change on our own; we need guidance, consistency, and a community that is moving in the same direction. We don’t have to prove we deserve Joy. We don’t have to achieve anything to experience Joy. We just need to be aware of when we aren’t experiencing Joy, interrupt that old pattern, and choose to make a shift toward purpose. How are you taking your first step toward your Joy today?

March

Be Kind

Help someone who needs it get their yard cleaned of Winter debris. Spring is about to be sprung! Renewal is the name of the selfcare game in March. When you balance your needs for Spring keep this information in mind.

Elements: Water and Earth Qualities: Cold and Wet Balancing Flavors: Bitter, Astringent, Pungent, Sour Signs of Imbalance: Feeling cold, heavy, depressed, sensitive, slow digestion

FATS (75%)

AVOCADOS CHEESE BUTTER WALNUTS YOGURT HAZELNUTS OLIVE OIL BACON EGGS TURKEY SHRIMP SALMON SARDINES DUCK LETTUCE ASPARAGUS KALE BROCCOLI CUCUMBER CABBAGE SPINACH

KETO DIET

PROTEIN (20%)

Signs of Balance: Feeling energized and grounded, open to new possibilities, good circulation

CARBS (5%)

Create Give sketching or doodling a whirl. Look to the animals and flowers of Spring for inspiration.

Beauty Its time to remove that layer of dry Winter skin. Exfoliation can leave your skin looking brighter and can stimulate production of collagen. Its best to do two or three times a week. Everyday is to harsh for your skin.

Coffee Scrub ½ cup coffee grounds 2 tablespoons hot water 1 tablespoon coconut oil warmed

Add coffee and hot water in mixing bowl mix thoroughly with a spoon. Add coconut oil mix then apply. You can add more coconut oil to get consistency just right for you.